1
00:00:16,208 --> 00:00:17,833
‪麥克風測試，有聽到嗎？

2
00:00:19,375 --> 00:00:21,083
‪-謝謝
‪-對不起，水管漏水

3
00:00:21,166 --> 00:00:22,791
‪應該不會影響專訪

4
00:00:22,958 --> 00:00:24,375
‪收聲沒問題嗎？

5
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:25,583
‪後製再拿掉就好

6
00:00:27,833 --> 00:00:30,166
‪只是水管的問題，因為外面沒下雨

7
00:00:30,458 --> 00:00:31,458
‪對不起

8
00:00:32,916 --> 00:00:35,500
‪歡迎收看《雙蕨之間》

9
00:00:35,583 --> 00:00:36,958
‪我是主持人查克葛里芬納奇

10
00:00:37,041 --> 00:00:38,750
‪今天的來賓是

11
00:00:39,625 --> 00:00:40,500
‪馬修

12
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:41,916
‪麥康區…

13
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:42,916
‪麥康歪

14
00:00:43,916 --> 00:00:45,208
‪馬修麥康內…

15
00:00:46,208 --> 00:00:48,166
‪馬修麥康雞…麥康納

16
00:00:49,666 --> 00:00:51,000
{\an8}‪查克，謝謝你邀我上節目

17
00:00:51,083 --> 00:00:53,583
{\an8}‪好吧…

18
00:00:55,458 --> 00:00:58,375
‪抱歉，我在看你最近三部電影的票房

19
00:01:00,291 --> 00:01:02,750
‪好吧

20
00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,500
‪我想這個還好

21
00:01:06,125 --> 00:01:07,708
‪我發現你穿襯衫

22
00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:09,375
‪沒事吧？

23
00:01:10,916 --> 00:01:11,916
‪媽的開什麼玩笑？

24
00:01:12,541 --> 00:01:14,333
‪你有這麼多奧斯卡獎可拿

25
00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:16,750
‪最後卻矇到最佳男主角，很驚訝嗎？

26
00:01:17,625 --> 00:01:18,500
‪開始損我了

27
00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:20,583
‪傑瑞李透那傢伙也是

28
00:01:21,291 --> 00:01:22,125
‪所以…

29
00:01:22,375 --> 00:01:23,583
‪你到底能有多自豪？

30
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,375
‪有多少時間？我大概15分鐘就要走人

31
00:01:26,458 --> 00:01:27,958
‪-不管…
‪-你有什麼事？

32
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:29,875
‪光膀子開林肯敞篷車

33
00:01:30,041 --> 00:01:31,125
‪-兜風嗎？
‪-對

34
00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:35,458
‪你爸和你媽上床時死掉

35
00:01:35,750 --> 00:01:37,791
‪你說你也希望有同樣死法

36
00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:40,375
‪你和你媽最好保持點距離

37
00:01:40,458 --> 00:01:41,458
‪-沒這回事
‪-我不…

38
00:01:41,541 --> 00:01:42,916
‪-下一題
‪-不好笑

39
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,541
‪-這是我聽來的
‪-我聽到了

40
00:01:45,416 --> 00:01:48,041
‪你覺得誰會先餓死

41
00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:49,291
‪你還是克里斯汀貝爾？

42
00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:52,458
‪你為了那部電影暴瘦

43
00:01:52,916 --> 00:01:55,166
‪我以為你會因為假裝愛滋病而死

44
00:01:55,708 --> 00:01:56,958
‪我三個小孩、一個老婆

45
00:01:57,541 --> 00:01:58,375
‪你咧？

46
00:01:58,958 --> 00:01:59,875
‪除了兩盆蕨類

47
00:02:03,541 --> 00:02:05,250
‪至少你有澆水，我懂了

48
00:02:06,541 --> 00:02:07,750
‪是，我再次道歉

49
00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:09,708
‪-我們到時再剪掉
‪-我無所謂

50
00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:13,166
‪我真的很對不起

51
00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:14,291
‪我要…

52
00:02:15,791 --> 00:02:17,708
‪看看水管到底怎麼樣

53
00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:21,958
‪我有打火機

54
00:02:25,375 --> 00:02:26,458
‪老弟，別傻了

55
00:02:31,208 --> 00:02:32,208
‪救命啊

56
00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:36,541
‪誰來幫幫忙？

57
00:02:43,166 --> 00:02:44,125
‪怎麼出去？

58
00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:49,083
‪哪個白痴裝灑水系統的？

59
00:02:49,708 --> 00:02:50,875
‪查克，要怎麼出去？

60
00:02:51,291 --> 00:02:52,666
‪我不知道，馬修

61
00:02:52,750 --> 00:02:54,041
‪我們從哪裡進來的？

62
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:57,166
‪我忘了，馬修，我壓力好大

63
00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:03,166
‪他們把灑水系統關了

64
00:03:25,125 --> 00:03:31,041
‪（48小時前）

65
00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:41,416
‪開麥拉

66
00:03:41,625 --> 00:03:42,458
‪大家好

67
00:03:42,833 --> 00:03:44,750
‪歡迎收看《雙蕨之後》

68
00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:46,916
‪《雙蕨之間》的故事

69
00:03:47,291 --> 00:03:49,083
‪特別紀錄長片

70
00:03:49,166 --> 00:03:52,166
‪一窺沒得獎的脫口秀節目秘辛

71
00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:54,000
‪我是查克葛里芬納奇

72
00:03:54,375 --> 00:03:55,875
‪這是北卡羅萊納州佛林區

73
00:03:56,208 --> 00:03:58,416
‪也是我錄影長達十年的地方

74
00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:00,333
‪我不但主持節目

75
00:04:00,750 --> 00:04:02,000
‪也是各位的導遊

76
00:04:02,458 --> 00:04:04,083
‪帶領各位觀賞整部電影

77
00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:05,541
‪說不定

78
00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:07,666
‪可以拍成3D電影呢

79
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,916
‪這個節目有個小花絮

80
00:04:11,541 --> 00:04:13,666
‪我本來想取名叫《雙蕨記》

81
00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:15,708
‪但我覺得這樣太假掰了

82
00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:21,125
‪整個旅程和大部分傳奇一樣
‪從這裡開始

83
00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:23,958
‪主角敞開大門，開始冒險

84
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,166
‪卡

85
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,166
‪這是最好的一次

86
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:31,333
‪拍21次滿意了嗎？

87
00:04:31,416 --> 00:04:33,416
‪21次？這樣我就滿意了

88
00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:34,541
‪可以繼續了嗎？

89
00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:36,625
‪-可以繼續，很好
‪-好，繼續

90
00:04:37,875 --> 00:04:40,833
{\an8}‪我在北卡羅萊納州的佛林區小鎮長大

91
00:04:41,958 --> 00:04:43,708
{\an8}‪我從小開始

92
00:04:44,166 --> 00:04:47,458
‪就想成為電視名人

93
00:04:53,375 --> 00:04:56,291
‪但人生不如意事十常八九

94
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,125
‪來自北卡羅萊納州佛林區

95
00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:01,833
‪佛林區公共電視

96
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:06,083
‪本節目觀眾都能做這種玩具

97
00:05:06,291 --> 00:05:08,166
‪-妳沒這樣說
‪-美國的生命線

98
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:10,041
‪妳說問題在於廢水

99
00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:12,750
‪我沒有你該怎麼辦？

100
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:16,000
‪想想足球就好，根本用不到手

101
00:05:16,791 --> 00:05:18,208
‪所以我們才是人類

102
00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:19,708
‪不喜歡這張牌

103
00:05:20,666 --> 00:05:21,833
‪也不喜歡這張牌

104
00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:23,375
‪你把奧斯卡獎盃放哪裡？

105
00:05:23,916 --> 00:05:24,750
‪我是說…

106
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,541
‪百事達巨星獎

107
00:05:31,458 --> 00:05:33,083
‪我們在…

108
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,291
‪佛林區公共電視台

109
00:05:35,666 --> 00:05:37,083
‪簡稱佛林公視

110
00:05:37,791 --> 00:05:39,916
‪公共電視的優點

111
00:05:40,166 --> 00:05:41,416
‪在於一種社區的感覺

112
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,000
‪龍捲風來了

113
00:05:44,625 --> 00:05:46,416
‪每個人都有發聲機會

114
00:05:46,666 --> 00:05:48,125
‪我比你厲害，幹你娘

115
00:05:49,333 --> 00:05:52,416
‪我在這裡錄影超過十年了

116
00:05:54,958 --> 00:05:55,875
‪我是…

117
00:05:56,291 --> 00:06:00,291
‪基努李維，來上《雙蕨之間》節目

118
00:06:00,375 --> 00:06:01,708
‪對

119
00:06:05,416 --> 00:06:06,708
‪我是查克葛里芬納奇

120
00:06:06,791 --> 00:06:07,916
‪歡迎收看

121
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:09,833
‪《雙蕨之間》

122
00:06:09,916 --> 00:06:12,083
‪今天的來賓是基努李維

123
00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:15,250
{\an8}‪-謝謝你大駕光臨
‪-我的榮幸

124
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:18,333
{\an8}‪聽說你摔車後留下很大的疤？

125
00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:19,666
‪沒錯

126
00:06:20,166 --> 00:06:21,041
‪在哪裡？

127
00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:22,625
‪-從這裡到這裡
‪-很大嗎？

128
00:06:22,708 --> 00:06:24,041
‪-天啊，這麼大？
‪-大概…

129
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,916
‪我腿上也有類似的疤

130
00:06:27,333 --> 00:06:28,208
‪怎麼來的？

131
00:06:28,583 --> 00:06:30,166
‪我看《穿越時空的情書》受不了

132
00:06:30,541 --> 00:06:32,791
‪走出去時撞到前面的座位

133
00:06:34,125 --> 00:06:36,291
‪以一到100來說

134
00:06:36,541 --> 00:06:37,666
‪你會認幾個字？

135
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:39,666
‪一到100？

136
00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:41,458
‪你會認50個字

137
00:06:41,666 --> 00:06:42,916
‪還是75個字？

138
00:06:43,375 --> 00:06:44,583
‪你會認18個字嗎？

139
00:06:46,375 --> 00:06:47,375
‪如果有人

140
00:06:47,791 --> 00:06:49,708
‪覺得你是個大笨蛋，但實際上

141
00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:51,541
‪你只是智商低於平均而已

142
00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:53,791
‪你會覺得難過嗎？

143
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:55,833
‪踏腳表示就好

144
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,416
‪一下代表會…

145
00:06:58,791 --> 00:06:59,625
‪二下代表不會

146
00:07:00,416 --> 00:07:01,708
‪你會為戲做功課嗎？

147
00:07:02,166 --> 00:07:03,000
‪會

148
00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:06,583
‪你有考慮為了研究角色
‪去上演員表演班嗎？

149
00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:09,458
‪我正在假裝這個節目很有趣

150
00:07:10,791 --> 00:07:11,791
‪我演得如何？

151
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,291
‪這個節目不錯

152
00:07:14,583 --> 00:07:16,875
‪現在是北卡羅萊納州東南區

153
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:20,958
‪公共電視市場收視率第七名

154
00:07:22,166 --> 00:07:23,458
‪我有其他的夢想嗎？

155
00:07:23,625 --> 00:07:25,666
‪我很想坐水上摩托車到阿拉斯加

156
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:29,125
‪但是我人生最大的目標

157
00:07:30,125 --> 00:07:31,166
‪是深夜脫口秀

158
00:07:32,916 --> 00:07:34,000
‪但是現在

159
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,333
‪我覺得這樣…

160
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,166
‪就夠了

161
00:07:42,166 --> 00:07:43,000
‪誰在嗑古柯鹼？

162
00:07:43,291 --> 00:07:45,541
‪對不起，我以為有人說誰在嗑古柯鹼

163
00:07:45,625 --> 00:07:47,666
‪所以我問：“誰在嗑古柯鹼？”

164
00:07:48,333 --> 00:07:49,166
‪因為不是我

165
00:07:50,583 --> 00:07:51,916
{\an8}‪好了嗎？開始吧

166
00:07:52,791 --> 00:07:55,083
{\an8}‪你怎麼認識查克的？

167
00:07:55,791 --> 00:07:58,166
{\an8}‪我第一次看到…

168
00:07:58,708 --> 00:08:00,333
‪一部影片

169
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:04,333
‪裡面有個死胖子，查克葛里芬納奇

170
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:08,166
‪我以為是惡作劇

171
00:08:08,458 --> 00:08:10,416
‪不知道你們能不能特寫到？

172
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:13,583
‪美國最笨電視主持人

173
00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:16,791
‪我放這捲帶子時看到他

174
00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:18,250
‪他實在有夠…

175
00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:19,416
‪他實在有夠白痴

176
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,125
‪又這麼笨

177
00:08:21,666 --> 00:08:22,958
‪又這麼胖

178
00:08:23,333 --> 00:08:25,166
‪所以我連問都沒問

179
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,791
‪就上傳到我的網站：“不笑就死”

180
00:08:29,666 --> 00:08:30,500
‪結果…

181
00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:31,875
‪點閱率

182
00:08:32,375 --> 00:08:34,375
‪超過五百兆，還在增加

183
00:08:34,708 --> 00:08:36,041
‪點閱率越多

184
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,791
‪代表錢越多

185
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:40,666
‪代表白粉越多

186
00:08:41,791 --> 00:08:43,041
‪代表更多…

187
00:08:44,833 --> 00:08:45,666
‪紫色

188
00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:48,333
‪也就是我戴上超大條的

189
00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:50,541
‪紫色羽毛圍巾

190
00:08:52,166 --> 00:08:54,000
‪對，我跟他簽下獨家經紀約

191
00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:55,250
‪然後

192
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:58,625
‪強迫我的好萊塢朋友接受他專訪

193
00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:01,833
‪歡迎收看《雙蕨之間》

194
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,541
‪今天的來賓是

195
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:05,166
{\an8}‪饒舌錢斯

196
00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:08,958
‪你是演員、饒舌歌手、社運人士

197
00:09:09,041 --> 00:09:10,583
‪為什麼不兼差當太空人？

198
00:09:12,416 --> 00:09:14,333
‪我不知道，我不是很…

199
00:09:15,708 --> 00:09:18,166
‪我不是太空來的

200
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,083
‪對

201
00:09:20,541 --> 00:09:22,500
‪如果你爸媽沒把你取名叫饒舌錢斯

202
00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:24,666
‪你覺得自己會做其他行嗎？

203
00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:27,166
‪饒舌錢斯不是我爸媽取的名字

204
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:28,333
‪這是藝名

205
00:09:28,583 --> 00:09:29,416
‪有兄弟姊妹嗎？

206
00:09:29,916 --> 00:09:31,166
‪我有一個弟弟

207
00:09:31,291 --> 00:09:32,333
‪他做什麼的？

208
00:09:32,583 --> 00:09:33,500
‪也是饒舌歌手

209
00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:34,666
‪他叫什麼？

210
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:36,125
‪社區基金饒舌歌手？

211
00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:38,791
‪不是

212
00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:41,125
‪你是肯伊威斯特的朋友

213
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,166
‪開玩笑的

214
00:09:45,791 --> 00:09:47,083
‪我不喜歡這個笑話

215
00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:49,583
‪給個機會好不好？

216
00:09:49,666 --> 00:09:50,500
‪這些笑話不錯

217
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,375
‪都很好笑

218
00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:54,541
‪你他媽別再玩我了

219
00:09:55,250 --> 00:09:57,458
‪你在這裡好像責任重大？

220
00:09:57,875 --> 00:10:00,416
‪對，我的節目責任重大

221
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:01,875
‪-不過…
‪-天啊

222
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,666
‪我的班底實力堅強

223
00:10:04,083 --> 00:10:05,500
‪我的辦公室在這裡

224
00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:09,625
‪可以看到大家，專心工作

225
00:10:13,166 --> 00:10:15,041
‪我很同情用筆電的人

226
00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:17,375
‪沒辦法鍛鍊體能

227
00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:18,916
‪我是卡蘿

228
00:10:19,208 --> 00:10:22,541
{\an8}‪查克的左右手

229
00:10:23,125 --> 00:10:24,541
{\an8}‪他很重視自己的工作

230
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:26,625
‪他很有創造力

231
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:27,541
‪很聰明

232
00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:29,875
‪我幫他做很多事，他很忙…

233
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:33,291
‪所以需要有人幫忙處理雜事

234
00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:34,875
‪我很樂意代勞

235
00:10:35,583 --> 00:10:37,250
‪他很怕看字

236
00:10:37,333 --> 00:10:39,166
‪所以需要簡化一下

237
00:10:39,375 --> 00:10:42,458
‪查克要我把報紙的頭條新聞都剪掉

238
00:10:42,791 --> 00:10:44,958
‪丟到垃圾桶裡，讓他看照片就好

239
00:10:45,125 --> 00:10:48,250
‪我以前會寫工作清單，讓他記住

240
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,958
‪但是他的大腦承受不了

241
00:10:50,041 --> 00:10:50,875
‪所以要用畫的

242
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:52,791
‪所以我畫他

243
00:10:53,083 --> 00:10:53,958
‪在床上

244
00:10:54,125 --> 00:10:56,166
‪起床掀棉被

245
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:57,666
‪站起來、走路

246
00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:58,750
‪以及所有後續步驟

247
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:00,333
‪這是你上車的樣子

248
00:11:00,916 --> 00:11:01,833
‪然後開走？

249
00:11:01,916 --> 00:11:02,791
‪對

250
00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:06,875
‪查克也叫我幫他跑腿

251
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:09,208
‪例如他的皮膚很敏感

252
00:11:09,291 --> 00:11:12,166
‪所以需要衛生護墊保護私處

253
00:11:13,458 --> 00:11:14,708
‪我都說她是好管家

254
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,333
‪她什麼都管

255
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:17,875
‪她管我、管…

256
00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:19,541
‪來賓的事

257
00:11:19,666 --> 00:11:22,625
‪管理我的事情

258
00:11:22,708 --> 00:11:23,791
‪所以我叫她好管家

259
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:25,416
‪還有…

260
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:27,083
‪她能力很強

261
00:11:27,416 --> 00:11:29,416
‪查克有個蕨類植物檢查規定

262
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:32,708
‪他堅持蕨類植物要保持原貌

263
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,541
‪而且每集都要一模一樣

264
00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:37,166
‪他喜歡連戲的感覺

265
00:11:37,708 --> 00:11:39,375
‪還是一樣綠，一樣漂亮

266
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,166
‪濕度足夠，很好

267
00:11:49,791 --> 00:11:51,958
‪-為什麼看起來不一樣？
‪-我不…

268
00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:57,375
‪我不懂怎麼照顧蕨類植物，老是種死

269
00:11:58,291 --> 00:11:59,958
‪所以每次錄影時我就買新的

270
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:05,333
‪寬度不對嗎？沒有，剛好

271
00:12:05,541 --> 00:12:06,375
‪很好

272
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:08,458
‪跟上次一樣

273
00:12:12,041 --> 00:12:13,125
‪長度多少？

274
00:12:13,208 --> 00:12:14,291
‪-我看到1
‪-不對

275
00:12:14,375 --> 00:12:15,208
‪上面寫1

276
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:16,333
‪我覺得…

277
00:12:17,416 --> 00:12:19,791
‪好難想像這兩盆蕨類植物
‪能撐這麼多年

278
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,458
‪-好，那麼好了嗎？
‪-好了

279
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:23,708
‪-再見
‪-再見

280
00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:25,666
‪很好，表現得很好

281
00:12:27,083 --> 00:12:28,583
‪恰克，我要跟你談…

282
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,875
‪我聽別人都叫你的綽號

283
00:12:33,416 --> 00:12:34,583
‪可以解釋一下嗎？

284
00:12:34,791 --> 00:12:37,666
{\an8}‪我的綽號是卡卡，因為我叫卡麥隆

285
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,166
{\an8}‪很多人說：“不對，你的綽號叫卡卡

286
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:43,083
{\an8}‪是因為你是攝影師”，其實不對

287
00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:44,958
‪我大概是全世界

288
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:47,250
‪前50名

289
00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:50,500
‪前50名最好的攝影師

290
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:52,250
‪我討厭他

291
00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:55,250
‪他做事很散

292
00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:57,541
‪我要你做一個按鈕

293
00:12:58,958 --> 00:13:00,125
‪結果我…

294
00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:01,583
‪我沒看到攝影機在動

295
00:13:01,833 --> 00:13:02,750
‪按鈕？

296
00:13:02,958 --> 00:13:04,125
‪查克他…

297
00:13:04,666 --> 00:13:07,333
‪我會用最文明的方式來講他

298
00:13:07,583 --> 00:13:09,250
‪他根本就是一陀屎

299
00:13:09,791 --> 00:13:11,166
‪垃圾王、廢物

300
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:12,458
‪白痴

301
00:13:12,791 --> 00:13:14,750
‪我這輩子沒看過這麼大陀屎

302
00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:16,791
‪而且我真的看過很大陀的屎

303
00:13:17,958 --> 00:13:19,541
‪不管是指人還是大便

304
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:22,166
{\an8}‪我樂在工作，我喜歡查克

305
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:24,000
{\an8}‪我覺得他人很好

306
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,750
‪你沒去工友希索的生日宴會嗎？

307
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:27,916
‪她很好

308
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,125
‪我喜歡她充滿熱忱

309
00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:30,416
‪雖然有點煩

310
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,375
‪我們沒有杯子蛋糕，因為他現在吃素

311
00:13:32,458 --> 00:13:33,625
‪你知道他吃素嗎？

312
00:13:33,875 --> 00:13:36,916
‪-我不知道
‪-對，所以我買李子和柿子

313
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,083
‪沒關係

314
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:41,416
‪這女人真他媽煩死人了

315
00:13:42,166 --> 00:13:44,750
‪很多名人都會到攝影棚對吧？

316
00:13:44,833 --> 00:13:46,458
‪對，超多的，每個人都來過

317
00:13:46,541 --> 00:13:48,833
‪好像沒人沒來過一樣

318
00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,208
‪-謝謝妳接受事前專訪
‪-不客氣

319
00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:53,500
‪聽說妳有什麼軼事，說來聽聽

320
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,625
‪對，我工作很晚回家

321
00:13:56,708 --> 00:13:58,500
‪因為很累，所以車子停到…

322
00:13:58,583 --> 00:14:00,125
‪問她是什麼種族

323
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:02,916
‪這個問題很重要嗎？

324
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,666
‪有什麼妳想討論的輕鬆主題

325
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:06,958
‪例如趣事嗎？

326
00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:08,333
‪我覺得你…不需要…

327
00:14:08,416 --> 00:14:09,708
‪不必講到這個

328
00:14:09,875 --> 00:14:12,666
‪對，就像黑白混血兒的低級故事

329
00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:13,750
‪或類似話題

330
00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:16,541
‪-我是查克
‪-我是亞當

331
00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:18,500
‪-《公園管理處》的
‪-天啊

332
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,083
‪真是新鮮

333
00:14:20,625 --> 00:14:24,083
‪我每次都要訪問白痴演員
‪和他們的白痴演員生活

334
00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:25,833
‪能夠訪問老百姓…

335
00:14:25,916 --> 00:14:28,583
‪對不起，我是說
‪《公園管理處》電視影集

336
00:14:30,708 --> 00:14:32,333
‪好，先幫你別麥克風

337
00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:33,958
‪好

338
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,000
‪剛才是幾度啊？

339
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:38,000
‪-我都沒辦法專心了
‪-妳喜歡游泳嗎？

340
00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:40,083
‪啊？

341
00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:42,083
‪我車上有很多泳裝

342
00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:44,750
‪拒絕名人追求

343
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:47,583
‪大概是人生中

344
00:14:47,666 --> 00:14:48,958
‪最大的樂趣

345
00:14:49,125 --> 00:14:50,041
‪我可以吃李子嗎？

346
00:14:50,125 --> 00:14:51,916
‪沒問題，妳好

347
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,375
‪你休想，帥哥

348
00:14:57,416 --> 00:14:58,875
‪查克一直都在

349
00:14:58,958 --> 00:15:01,333
‪他假裝隨時都必須在這裡

350
00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:03,333
‪一直拿架上的東西

351
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:04,958
‪我知道他有

352
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,666
{\an8}‪我叫雪若克拉特

353
00:15:07,750 --> 00:15:09,875
{\an8}‪雪…若…克…拉…特

354
00:15:10,666 --> 00:15:12,916
‪-妳負責什麼工作？
‪-我是台長

355
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,166
‪這裡全都歸我管

356
00:15:14,541 --> 00:15:15,958
‪妳知道獅子是什麼嗎？

357
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,416
‪獅子是力氣很大的動物

358
00:15:18,958 --> 00:15:21,041
‪想幹嘛就幹嘛

359
00:15:21,791 --> 00:15:24,666
‪想拿就拿、想吃就吃、想跑就跑

360
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:26,041
‪我就是獅子

361
00:15:26,416 --> 00:15:28,125
‪還有巴比

362
00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:31,083
‪他是副理

363
00:15:31,166 --> 00:15:32,916
{\an8}‪在這裡做很久了

364
00:15:33,041 --> 00:15:35,583
{\an8}‪幫我按播音

365
00:15:36,833 --> 00:15:37,791
{\an8}‪馬上幫我按播音

366
00:15:39,041 --> 00:15:40,791
‪-要我等一下再來嗎？
‪-黛安

367
00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:43,375
‪黛安

368
00:15:44,041 --> 00:15:44,875
‪妳按播音了嗎？

369
00:15:45,916 --> 00:15:47,125
‪-我等一下來
‪-不，進來

370
00:15:47,666 --> 00:15:48,541
‪妳按播音了嗎？

371
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:50,333
‪好，很好

372
00:15:50,666 --> 00:15:51,500
‪再見

373
00:15:51,583 --> 00:15:52,416
‪進來

374
00:15:52,583 --> 00:15:53,416
‪什麼事？

375
00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:56,833
‪你有偷吃我放在休息室的泡麵嗎？

376
00:15:56,916 --> 00:15:59,416
‪-有又怎麼樣？
‪-把泡麵還我

377
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,833
‪我開張支票給你

378
00:16:01,083 --> 00:16:02,625
‪每包大概1.15美元

379
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:03,875
‪有兩包

380
00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:05,458
‪所以是3.5美元嗎？

381
00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:12,458
‪妳要去哪裡？

382
00:16:12,541 --> 00:16:13,416
‪回家

383
00:16:13,666 --> 00:16:15,583
‪不行，妳們要隨時跟拍

384
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:18,125
‪我說“卡”的時候代表繼續拍

385
00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:20,000
‪如果我說：“把攝影機拿走”

386
00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,125
‪就拿攝影機拍我的臉

387
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:23,583
‪懂嗎？

388
00:16:23,958 --> 00:16:27,083
‪-再來一次，從頭開始
‪-你要我重拍這段對話？

389
00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:30,041
‪對，這是講我的生活
‪妳毀了我的這段生活

390
00:16:31,041 --> 00:16:33,000
‪對了，你也是，從頭開始

391
00:16:36,416 --> 00:16:37,333
‪妳要去哪裡？

392
00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:39,041
‪回家

393
00:16:39,958 --> 00:16:41,791
‪-演得太爛了…
‪-不寫實

394
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,250
‪歡迎收看《雙蕨之間》

395
00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:46,791
‪我是主持人查克葛里芬納奇

396
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:49,125
‪今天的來賓是

397
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:50,625
‪布麗拉森

398
00:16:51,291 --> 00:16:52,125
‪謝謝妳受訪

399
00:16:53,208 --> 00:16:54,500
{\an8}‪妳榮獲奧斯卡影后

400
00:16:54,583 --> 00:16:57,500
{\an8}‪妳有想過更上一層樓
‪角逐最佳影帝嗎？

401
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:02,500
‪-有
‪-好問題

402
00:17:02,583 --> 00:17:04,291
‪是的，發人深省

403
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,875
‪妳演的超級英雄角色叫《驚奇隊長》

404
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:08,208
‪對

405
00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:10,250
‪他們真的很懶耶

406
00:17:11,041 --> 00:17:11,958
‪為什麼不乾脆叫

407
00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:13,250
‪漫畫隊長

408
00:17:13,541 --> 00:17:15,916
‪或者我們沒輒了隊長？

409
00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:17,750
‪你演的超級英雄會叫什麼？

410
00:17:17,916 --> 00:17:18,750
‪鬍子隊長嗎？

411
00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:23,166
‪網路上說妳很重視隱私，拒絕回答

412
00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:25,041
‪讓妳不舒服的問題

413
00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:26,291
‪我有兩題要問

414
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:27,833
‪網路說的對嗎？

415
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,958
‪還有妳第一次月經是幾歲？

416
00:17:31,708 --> 00:17:33,000
‪他的節目之所以成功

417
00:17:33,083 --> 00:17:35,291
‪絕對是因為

418
00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:37,333
‪觀眾在笑他

419
00:17:37,583 --> 00:17:38,458
‪不是跟著他笑

420
00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:42,041
‪我覺得最有意思的

421
00:17:42,208 --> 00:17:44,958
‪是這麼奇怪的人

422
00:17:45,125 --> 00:17:47,416
‪竟然有可看性

423
00:17:52,666 --> 00:17:53,625
‪這是幹嘛？

424
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,583
‪（佛林區水電公司）

425
00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:07,875
‪卡蘿

426
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:11,458
‪外面在幹嘛？

427
00:18:12,416 --> 00:18:13,500
‪怎麼回事？

428
00:18:13,708 --> 00:18:15,125
‪水管有問題

429
00:18:15,791 --> 00:18:16,708
‪用得著妳說

430
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:19,000
‪現在的狀況糟到極點

431
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,333
‪水管老舊、管線堵塞

432
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:23,125
‪而且不知道為什麼

433
00:18:23,208 --> 00:18:24,583
‪有人

434
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,125
‪把沾滿大便的衛生護墊

435
00:18:28,291 --> 00:18:30,500
‪-丟進馬桶
‪-靠夭咧

436
00:18:30,583 --> 00:18:32,875
‪這次堵塞很嚴重，隨時可能爆發

437
00:18:33,041 --> 00:18:34,875
‪凶手一定要付出代價

438
00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:37,291
‪-太噁爛了
‪-天啊

439
00:18:37,458 --> 00:18:40,250
‪查克，水管和工程太吵了

440
00:18:40,333 --> 00:18:42,541
‪-我們沒辦法訪問…
‪-整個攝影棚

441
00:18:42,625 --> 00:18:44,083
‪都要隔音，好嗎？

442
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:45,916
‪每個角落和細縫都要

443
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,333
‪一個都不能少

444
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:50,208
‪全都不能漏，懂嗎？

445
00:18:50,291 --> 00:18:51,166
‪做就對了

446
00:18:58,166 --> 00:18:59,583
‪（穀歌）

447
00:18:59,666 --> 00:19:01,583
‪（如何讓房間隔音？）

448
00:19:05,708 --> 00:19:07,041
‪我很想，只是…

449
00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:09,333
‪我都和室友看《魯保羅變裝秀》…

450
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,416
‪-妳什麼？
‪-我今晚要看電視，所以…

451
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,583
‪我很想，只是今晚不行，對不起

452
00:19:13,708 --> 00:19:14,708
‪不過謝謝你

453
00:19:17,291 --> 00:19:19,458
‪-馬修，我是查克
‪-我是麥康納，幸會

454
00:19:19,708 --> 00:19:21,333
‪謝謝你上我們的節目

455
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:28,541
‪（快乾矽利康）

456
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,958
‪（A棚）

457
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:35,750
‪專訪本身應該很簡單

458
00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:38,375
‪謝謝你…應該很快就結束

459
00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:40,291
‪你可以開始了嗎？

460
00:19:40,625 --> 00:19:41,916
‪這邊漏水很嚴重

461
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,333
‪-上面沒問題吧？
‪-絕對沒問題

462
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,916
‪快拿智慧型手機

463
00:20:03,375 --> 00:20:04,916
‪-快走
‪-快逃啊

464
00:20:13,875 --> 00:20:14,708
‪天啊

465
00:20:15,208 --> 00:20:16,041
‪天啊

466
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:17,750
‪完了

467
00:20:20,666 --> 00:20:21,541
‪天啊

468
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:44,583
‪我的植物

469
00:20:45,708 --> 00:20:46,666
‪怎麼回事？

470
00:20:46,833 --> 00:20:47,958
‪我的眼鏡

471
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:50,291
‪謝天謝地，找到了

472
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:17,250
‪威爾法洛今天早上打給我
‪他非常生氣

473
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,166
‪他叫我站在電視台外面

474
00:21:20,541 --> 00:21:22,166
‪在下午3點時到外面

475
00:21:22,416 --> 00:21:23,291
‪3點了嗎？

476
00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:56,750
‪你

477
00:21:56,833 --> 00:21:57,791
‪我

478
00:21:58,541 --> 00:21:59,375
‪進去

479
00:22:03,541 --> 00:22:05,083
‪看清楚，好嗎？

480
00:22:05,916 --> 00:22:07,166
‪這是我的點閱數

481
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,750
‪我的網站全都靠點閱數

482
00:22:10,208 --> 00:22:11,083
‪看到沒有？

483
00:22:11,166 --> 00:22:13,125
‪-點閱數很多，威爾
‪-還是因為

484
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:15,125
‪你肥油太多

485
00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:16,708
‪眼睛都看不清楚了？

486
00:22:18,125 --> 00:22:20,416
‪而且你還殺了馬修麥康納

487
00:22:21,291 --> 00:22:22,125
‪他死了？

488
00:22:22,541 --> 00:22:25,875
‪他們有做心肺復甦術，所以…

489
00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:27,458
‪起死回生

490
00:22:27,916 --> 00:22:31,083
‪但是他死了幾分鐘

491
00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:32,833
‪你是殺人凶手

492
00:22:32,916 --> 00:22:34,500
‪就算有殺人也只是暫時的…

493
00:22:34,583 --> 00:22:35,833
‪不算真的殺人

494
00:22:35,916 --> 00:22:37,541
‪隨便，我會幫你保密

495
00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:39,291
‪好嗎？但你欠我一次

496
00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:40,958
‪欠你什麼？

497
00:22:41,291 --> 00:22:44,000
‪十集的《雙蕨之間》，懂嗎？

498
00:22:44,333 --> 00:22:45,833
‪三週後交件

499
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,166
‪不，等一下

500
00:22:48,250 --> 00:22:49,333
‪這樣不好玩

501
00:22:50,708 --> 00:22:52,125
‪給你兩個禮拜吧

502
00:22:53,125 --> 00:22:53,958
‪早上9點

503
00:22:54,291 --> 00:22:55,958
‪怎麼做？這裡不能錄影

504
00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,250
‪那你只好主動出擊找名人了

505
00:22:58,666 --> 00:23:00,041
‪趕快到全國各地

506
00:23:00,375 --> 00:23:01,458
‪找他們

507
00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:03,583
‪法洛先生，那我有什麼回報？

508
00:23:03,666 --> 00:23:05,250
‪你會得到一大堆

509
00:23:05,958 --> 00:23:08,791
‪金銀財寶、香料

510
00:23:09,208 --> 00:23:10,666
‪紅寶石和綠寶石

511
00:23:10,750 --> 00:23:12,291
‪可是我不要那些東西

512
00:23:12,583 --> 00:23:15,625
‪如果你不要金山、銀山

513
00:23:15,708 --> 00:23:17,250
‪就自己開條件

514
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,000
‪閣下

515
00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:23,708
‪想要

516
00:23:24,875 --> 00:23:25,750
‪何物？

517
00:23:26,958 --> 00:23:28,375
‪我要自己的電視脫口秀

518
00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:29,916
‪每週五天

519
00:23:30,208 --> 00:23:32,333
‪上面有“請鼓掌”燈號，還有現場觀眾

520
00:23:33,583 --> 00:23:35,708
‪我要大家跟著我笑

521
00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:36,875
‪而不是笑我

522
00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:39,708
‪你只要履行合約

523
00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:42,291
‪我就答應你

524
00:23:42,666 --> 00:23:45,291
‪我幫你做出十集白痴網路節目

525
00:23:45,833 --> 00:23:48,500
‪你就讓我在生活頻道做電視脫口秀

526
00:23:48,916 --> 00:23:49,750
‪生活頻道？

527
00:23:49,958 --> 00:23:51,166
‪我是白人

528
00:23:51,250 --> 00:23:52,625
‪我喜歡女人，所以應該的

529
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,000
‪好，讓你在生活頻道開脫口秀節目

530
00:23:58,375 --> 00:23:59,208
‪我接受

531
00:24:00,041 --> 00:24:01,000
‪我剛剛接受了

532
00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:02,833
‪-沒問題
‪-沒問題

533
00:24:11,291 --> 00:24:12,125
‪請低頭

534
00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:16,083
‪我封閣下…

535
00:24:16,166 --> 00:24:17,250
‪這不是你能做的

536
00:24:18,375 --> 00:24:20,458
‪繼承FOD爵位

537
00:24:20,791 --> 00:24:23,916
‪去吧，小胖子查克葛里芬納奇

538
00:24:24,916 --> 00:24:27,125
‪跨上你的幻想寶馬

539
00:24:27,916 --> 00:24:29,916
‪上山下海

540
00:24:31,125 --> 00:24:32,250
‪穿越全國

541
00:24:32,750 --> 00:24:33,791
‪也就是

542
00:24:34,125 --> 00:24:35,958
‪美國

543
00:24:58,875 --> 00:24:59,708
‪走吧

544
00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:01,750
‪不要坐前面，到後座

545
00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:07,916
‪好了，各位

546
00:25:08,208 --> 00:25:10,500
‪威爾法洛先生保證

547
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:12,875
‪所有人

548
00:25:13,666 --> 00:25:14,583
‪都能製作

549
00:25:14,916 --> 00:25:17,583
‪全新的夜間電視脫口秀

550
00:25:17,791 --> 00:25:19,875
‪他要我們全都一起做？

551
00:25:20,166 --> 00:25:21,166
‪威爾法洛有講？

552
00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:22,875
‪對，他指名你們每個人

553
00:25:23,125 --> 00:25:25,291
‪而且出差費用由他負責

554
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:27,916
‪所以我們出去拍名人吧

555
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:28,833
‪誰？

556
00:25:29,041 --> 00:25:30,166
‪我還不知道

557
00:25:30,791 --> 00:25:32,916
‪-卡蘿正在找，只要…
‪-什麼？

558
00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,708
‪她根本就不知道我們在這裡幹嘛

559
00:25:34,791 --> 00:25:36,041
‪她也沒查東西

560
00:25:36,125 --> 00:25:38,916
‪-我馬上開始
‪-她很清楚狀況，卡卡

561
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,833
‪你最好不要知道情形

562
00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:44,708
‪你只要擺好攝影機，閉上鳥嘴就行

563
00:25:45,416 --> 00:25:47,791
‪被綁架還被罵的感覺真好

564
00:25:49,125 --> 00:25:50,541
‪這次出差要多久？

565
00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:53,416
‪應該只要兩…

566
00:25:53,791 --> 00:25:54,625
‪兩週

567
00:25:54,708 --> 00:25:55,791
‪-兩週？
‪-兩週？

568
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,541
‪要做大事

569
00:25:57,750 --> 00:25:59,333
‪就必須冒大險

570
00:25:59,416 --> 00:26:00,750
‪我願意冒大險

571
00:26:01,208 --> 00:26:03,083
‪巡迴製作《雙蕨之間》

572
00:26:04,791 --> 00:26:05,791
‪查克

573
00:26:06,125 --> 00:26:07,166
‪我找到人了

574
00:26:08,833 --> 00:26:10,125
‪-好
‪-車程三小時

575
00:26:10,583 --> 00:26:11,708
‪-真的？
‪-對

576
00:26:11,916 --> 00:26:12,750
‪是誰？

577
00:26:21,625 --> 00:26:24,125
‪歡迎收看《雙蕨之間》

578
00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:25,708
‪我是主持人查克葛里芬納奇

579
00:26:26,625 --> 00:26:29,291
‪今天的來賓是
‪有飲食障礙的聖誕老人

580
00:26:30,791 --> 00:26:31,625
{\an8}‪你氣色不錯

581
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:32,833
‪謝謝，你也是

582
00:26:32,916 --> 00:26:34,833
‪你睡整整15年才醒的嗎？

583
00:26:36,333 --> 00:26:38,125
‪你現在看起來像史帝夫賈伯斯

584
00:26:39,375 --> 00:26:40,208
‪好

585
00:26:40,791 --> 00:26:43,583
‪你的新節目叫《大衛萊特曼
‪下一位來賓鼎鼎大名》

586
00:26:43,875 --> 00:26:47,041
‪如果叫《下一個節目沒人看》
‪會比較好嗎？

587
00:26:48,416 --> 00:26:50,333
‪會，我們有考慮

588
00:26:50,916 --> 00:26:52,041
‪測試結果好嗎？

589
00:26:52,541 --> 00:26:53,833
‪測試結果非常好

590
00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:55,541
‪但是傷到我的自尊

591
00:26:56,041 --> 00:26:57,750
‪談談你的大鬍子吧

592
00:26:57,916 --> 00:26:59,666
‪這是你的笨蛋單元嗎？

593
00:26:59,750 --> 00:27:02,083
‪到底是《雙蕨之間》
‪還是《蕨類之間》？

594
00:27:02,416 --> 00:27:03,500
‪《雙蕨之間》

595
00:27:03,583 --> 00:27:05,083
‪對，可是很明顯

596
00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:06,291
‪你的節目時段很晚

597
00:27:06,375 --> 00:27:07,541
‪大家都知道是深夜節目

598
00:27:07,625 --> 00:27:08,833
‪外面都天黑了

599
00:27:08,916 --> 00:27:11,041
‪為什麼叫《深夜秀》這種名字？

600
00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:13,458
‪如果你要挑剔別人的節目名字…

601
00:27:13,541 --> 00:27:14,375
‪我只是說

602
00:27:14,791 --> 00:27:16,000
‪《蕨類之間》，好

603
00:27:16,083 --> 00:27:17,875
‪《雙蕨之間》，喔

604
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,875
‪如果有一天你突然發瘋
‪放三盆蕨類怎麼辦？

605
00:27:22,666 --> 00:27:24,166
‪-我沒想到這一點
‪-對啊

606
00:27:24,666 --> 00:27:25,958
‪你沒想到的可多咧

607
00:27:27,208 --> 00:27:28,375
‪你兒子叫哈利

608
00:27:28,458 --> 00:27:29,833
‪因為你長得很哈哈嗎？

609
00:27:30,875 --> 00:27:33,166
‪那個名字是紀念我先父的

610
00:27:34,750 --> 00:27:35,750
‪你現在有什麼感覺？

611
00:27:35,958 --> 00:27:38,750
‪我不知道你的答案這麼感傷

612
00:27:38,833 --> 00:27:42,666
‪你根本就沒有同理心，也沒有恥辱感

613
00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:45,500
‪可以給你良心建議嗎？

614
00:27:47,083 --> 00:27:47,916
‪請說

615
00:27:48,125 --> 00:27:49,458
‪大家都很討厭你

616
00:27:50,666 --> 00:27:51,500
‪謝謝

617
00:27:53,666 --> 00:27:55,041
‪你喜歡跑車

618
00:27:55,541 --> 00:27:57,500
‪你的老二在哪些方面顯得很小？

619
00:27:58,208 --> 00:27:59,791
‪我可以說幾句話嗎？

620
00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:02,916
‪從來沒有人跟我討論過

621
00:28:03,250 --> 00:28:05,875
‪我的老二、我的老二大小

622
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,541
‪我怎麼用老二

623
00:28:07,916 --> 00:28:08,958
‪或睪丸

624
00:28:09,041 --> 00:28:12,000
‪所以我很想知道你到底有什麼病

625
00:28:12,166 --> 00:28:13,041
‪老天爺

626
00:28:13,291 --> 00:28:14,125
‪什麼？

627
00:28:15,583 --> 00:28:16,416
‪你說什麼？

628
00:28:16,750 --> 00:28:18,083
‪我說：“老天爺”

629
00:28:18,166 --> 00:28:20,958
‪閉嘴，現在不要發表意見，拜託

630
00:28:21,041 --> 00:28:24,041
‪你講的話白痴成這樣，我實在忍不住

631
00:28:26,583 --> 00:28:28,875
‪節目真的很精彩，謝謝你

632
00:28:28,958 --> 00:28:30,541
‪我知道你要走了，謝謝

633
00:28:30,625 --> 00:28:32,416
‪對，謝謝，我只想說

634
00:28:33,666 --> 00:28:36,000
‪-我真的收穫良多
‪-很好

635
00:28:36,083 --> 00:28:38,583
‪-因為我想開自己的脫口秀
‪-很好…

636
00:28:38,666 --> 00:28:41,708
‪每天的脫口秀，因為我會很快樂
‪就像你也很快樂

637
00:28:43,708 --> 00:28:44,666
‪你一定會很快樂

638
00:28:46,125 --> 00:28:47,125
‪預祝你成功

639
00:28:48,083 --> 00:28:49,333
‪-好
‪-讓你快樂

640
00:28:49,833 --> 00:28:51,166
‪-對吧？
‪-對

641
00:28:51,708 --> 00:28:52,750
‪-對
‪-好

642
00:28:52,833 --> 00:28:53,666
‪好

643
00:28:53,791 --> 00:28:55,875
‪-謝謝你採訪我
‪-我要怎麼走？

644
00:28:55,958 --> 00:28:57,250
‪走那裡，那個人那邊

645
00:28:58,500 --> 00:28:59,375
‪好，謝謝

646
00:28:59,750 --> 00:29:00,666
‪好，再見

647
00:29:01,375 --> 00:29:02,541
‪儘量不要踏草皮

648
00:29:03,833 --> 00:29:05,500
‪-我們就在草皮上
‪-謝謝，再見

649
00:29:05,916 --> 00:29:07,500
‪再見，保重

650
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:12,833
‪-你好
‪-先生要今天入住嗎？

651
00:29:14,333 --> 00:29:15,166
‪什麼？

652
00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:17,416
‪好，怎麼回事？

653
00:29:17,708 --> 00:29:20,833
‪你要我們全都擠進一個爛房間嗎？

654
00:29:20,916 --> 00:29:22,333
‪錯了，卡卡，你自己一間

655
00:29:22,416 --> 00:29:23,250
‪你好

656
00:29:23,708 --> 00:29:25,416
‪我要四個房間

657
00:29:26,750 --> 00:29:28,041
‪-四個房間？
‪-四間客房

658
00:29:28,125 --> 00:29:29,041
‪一

659
00:29:29,416 --> 00:29:30,875
‪-我們可以自己一間？
‪-二

660
00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:32,125
‪三、四

661
00:29:32,375 --> 00:29:33,833
‪-我們可以自己一間
‪-太好了

662
00:29:33,916 --> 00:29:34,750
‪太棒了

663
00:29:35,708 --> 00:29:36,708
‪-晚安
‪-晚安

664
00:29:44,250 --> 00:29:45,083
‪卡蘿

665
00:29:47,208 --> 00:29:49,333
{\an8}‪謝謝你願意上節目
‪你在芝加哥幹嘛？

666
00:29:49,416 --> 00:29:51,416
‪我來這裡工作

667
00:29:52,041 --> 00:29:53,250
‪我有成立基金會

668
00:29:54,125 --> 00:29:55,916
‪-什麼基金會？
‪-兒童骨骼基金會

669
00:29:56,333 --> 00:29:58,291
‪幫助天生沒有骨骼的兒童

670
00:29:58,833 --> 00:30:00,166
‪-天啊，好可憐
‪-我知道

671
00:30:00,625 --> 00:30:01,625
‪我要怎麼幫忙？

672
00:30:01,708 --> 00:30:04,625
‪你可以捐出幾根手臂骨頭

673
00:30:04,708 --> 00:30:05,916
‪其實某些骨頭沒有必要

674
00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:07,958
‪這根可以留著

675
00:30:08,333 --> 00:30:09,541
‪這根可以留著

676
00:30:09,625 --> 00:30:10,875
‪但是對某些兒童而言

677
00:30:11,333 --> 00:30:12,250
‪這可以當脛骨

678
00:30:15,250 --> 00:30:16,750
‪聽起來好像假的

679
00:30:18,041 --> 00:30:20,208
‪好像假的慈善組織

680
00:30:20,291 --> 00:30:23,000
‪沒有骨頭的兒童
‪還是無法勃起的兒童

681
00:30:24,875 --> 00:30:26,458
‪你幹嘛拿紙遮住…

682
00:30:26,833 --> 00:30:28,375
‪-我可以聽到你講話
‪-吵死了

683
00:30:28,916 --> 00:30:31,750
‪歡迎收看《雙蕨之間》

684
00:30:32,291 --> 00:30:33,375
‪今天的來賓是

685
00:30:33,958 --> 00:30:34,958
‪保羅路德

686
00:30:35,041 --> 00:30:36,375
{\an8}‪-謝謝保羅
‪-謝謝

687
00:30:37,541 --> 00:30:38,708
‪有的人得天獨厚

688
00:30:39,041 --> 00:30:40,625
‪有臉蛋又有才華

689
00:30:41,750 --> 00:30:43,250
‪你只有臉蛋，感覺是什麼？

690
00:30:44,625 --> 00:30:45,458
‪很好

691
00:30:45,708 --> 00:30:47,291
‪如果你不是長這個樣子

692
00:30:47,375 --> 00:30:49,500
‪你覺得自己不演戲可以幹嘛？

693
00:30:49,583 --> 00:30:50,416
‪剷屎？

694
00:30:52,083 --> 00:30:53,375
‪有報導說你可能不演戲

695
00:30:53,458 --> 00:30:54,541
‪或者乾脆消失？

696
00:30:55,708 --> 00:30:56,708
‪哪裡寫的？

697
00:30:57,708 --> 00:30:59,000
‪就在我寫的地方

698
00:31:00,666 --> 00:31:01,541
‪你比較喜歡

699
00:31:01,625 --> 00:31:02,541
‪演漫威的電影

700
00:31:02,625 --> 00:31:04,791
‪還是沒人聽過的電影？

701
00:31:06,791 --> 00:31:07,791
‪演漫威的電影

702
00:31:07,875 --> 00:31:09,458
‪你會不會問演技教練

703
00:31:09,541 --> 00:31:12,125
‪“我他媽要演一隻螞蟻，怎麼辦？”

704
00:31:12,208 --> 00:31:13,666
‪我聽不懂“演技教練”

705
00:31:14,166 --> 00:31:15,541
‪對，應該是

706
00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:18,333
‪如果有年輕演員跟你一樣

707
00:31:18,416 --> 00:31:20,625
‪想隱瞞自己是猶太人
‪你有什麼建議？

708
00:31:20,875 --> 00:31:23,083
‪我從來沒隱瞞過自己是猶太人

709
00:31:23,291 --> 00:31:26,000
‪“我從來沒隱瞞過自己是猶太人”

710
00:31:26,666 --> 00:31:27,500
‪對

711
00:31:27,666 --> 00:31:29,958
‪耶穌就是猶太人，他也沒隱藏

712
00:31:30,333 --> 00:31:33,291
‪沒有，他昭告天下

713
00:31:33,666 --> 00:31:34,875
‪他是很優秀的猶太人

714
00:31:35,416 --> 00:31:37,083
‪-你遵守猶太教戒律嗎？
‪-沒有

715
00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:38,708
‪我沒有遵守猶太教戒律

716
00:31:40,416 --> 00:31:41,458
‪我早就內化了

717
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,250
{\an8}‪（肯塔基州路易斯維）

718
00:31:49,791 --> 00:31:50,750
‪-查克
‪-怎樣？

719
00:31:51,750 --> 00:31:52,791
‪壞消息

720
00:31:54,041 --> 00:31:55,583
‪傑克葛倫霍要取消通告

721
00:31:55,875 --> 00:31:56,708
‪為什麼？

722
00:31:56,833 --> 00:31:58,583
‪他在機票上寫錯名字

723
00:31:59,208 --> 00:32:00,041
‪什麼？

724
00:32:00,541 --> 00:32:01,625
‪多寫一個A

725
00:32:05,541 --> 00:32:07,666
‪-我不知道怎麼辦
‪-天啊，查克

726
00:32:08,291 --> 00:32:09,750
‪那個人是克莉絲泰根

727
00:32:10,291 --> 00:32:11,250
‪她是超級模特兒

728
00:32:11,708 --> 00:32:12,708
‪有多超級？

729
00:32:12,791 --> 00:32:14,000
‪她是約翰傳奇的老婆

730
00:32:19,916 --> 00:32:21,166
‪你一定要跟她聊天

731
00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:23,291
‪起來

732
00:32:23,666 --> 00:32:24,500
‪過去

733
00:32:25,625 --> 00:32:26,458
‪好

734
00:32:32,791 --> 00:32:34,541
‪再來一杯白蘭地亞歷山大

735
00:32:38,125 --> 00:32:40,083
‪-妳好
‪-天啊，我認識你

736
00:32:40,833 --> 00:32:43,375
‪-真的？
‪-你主持《雙蕨之間》

737
00:32:43,666 --> 00:32:44,916
‪我超愛你的節目

738
00:32:45,125 --> 00:32:46,041
‪妳看過我的節目？

739
00:32:46,291 --> 00:32:48,375
‪對，大家都看過，超爆笑的

740
00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:50,250
‪你很…

741
00:32:50,750 --> 00:32:51,708
‪讓人不舒服

742
00:32:51,791 --> 00:32:53,583
‪詭異、笨拙

743
00:32:53,666 --> 00:32:55,958
‪一看就知道你的來賓很生氣

744
00:32:56,041 --> 00:32:57,041
‪-但還是上節目
‪-對

745
00:32:57,500 --> 00:32:59,958
‪-我超愛的
‪-沒想到會聽到這個，不過…

746
00:33:00,583 --> 00:33:02,166
‪-對不起
‪-沒關係

747
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:05,375
‪我可以問妳一個問題嗎？

748
00:33:05,458 --> 00:33:06,291
‪說吧

749
00:33:06,375 --> 00:33:07,791
‪跟我細說從頭吧

750
00:33:08,583 --> 00:33:10,708
‪妳是怎麼成為…

751
00:33:10,791 --> 00:33:12,083
‪大家都在問這個問題

752
00:33:12,250 --> 00:33:13,875
‪其實這個故事非常簡單

753
00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:15,625
‪2003年時

754
00:33:15,708 --> 00:33:18,416
‪有人跑到我家，手裡拿著盒子

755
00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:21,375
‪裡面有一個按鈕
‪他說：“只要按下這個按鈕

756
00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:23,416
‪妳就會美夢成真

757
00:33:23,875 --> 00:33:26,291
‪但是某個地方的某個人會死”

758
00:33:27,083 --> 00:33:28,541
‪所以我就按下去了

759
00:33:28,833 --> 00:33:30,041
‪羅傑斯先生死了…

760
00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:30,958
‪-啥？
‪-我成功了

761
00:33:33,208 --> 00:33:34,916
‪妳覺得按下按鈕造成…

762
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:36,291
‪反正他生前很爽…

763
00:33:39,208 --> 00:33:40,958
‪我有個來賓在最後一刻…

764
00:33:41,833 --> 00:33:43,416
‪突然退脫口秀通告

765
00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:46,416
‪我可以專訪妳嗎？

766
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,791
‪我有更好的建議

767
00:33:54,583 --> 00:33:55,750
‪妳在摸我的手

768
00:33:56,541 --> 00:33:57,375
‪這樣吧

769
00:33:57,625 --> 00:34:00,041
‪如果到樓上詳談呢？

770
00:34:01,500 --> 00:34:02,750
‪約翰傳奇怎麼辦？

771
00:34:04,083 --> 00:34:06,666
‪安啦，他可能在家寶貝他的四大獎盃

772
00:34:07,500 --> 00:34:09,000
‪他把老二叫成四大獎盃？

773
00:34:20,166 --> 00:34:21,041
‪來吧

774
00:34:34,041 --> 00:34:35,250
‪那是在我的旅館房間

775
00:34:35,333 --> 00:34:36,458
‪妳怎麼拍到的？

776
00:34:36,583 --> 00:34:37,750
‪到處都有攝影機

777
00:34:37,833 --> 00:34:39,375
‪是你叫我一直拍的

778
00:34:39,875 --> 00:34:42,875
‪這次出差我不管在哪個房間
‪妳都有拍我？

779
00:34:43,333 --> 00:34:44,166
‪對

780
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,541
‪好，這段不能在紀錄片裡

781
00:34:48,958 --> 00:34:49,791
‪對吧？

782
00:34:51,166 --> 00:34:52,000
‪絕對不行

783
00:34:52,750 --> 00:34:53,583
‪刪除檔案

784
00:34:55,125 --> 00:34:55,958
‪快點

785
00:34:56,833 --> 00:34:58,458
‪刪除前把檔案寄給我

786
00:35:04,333 --> 00:35:06,833
{\an8}‪歡迎各位來到熊窩，我們用木柴做菜

787
00:35:06,958 --> 00:35:09,083
{\an8}‪要先來點蜂蜜井嗎？

788
00:35:09,458 --> 00:35:10,375
{\an8}‪蜂蜜井是什麼？

789
00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:11,458
‪就是檸檬水

790
00:35:11,958 --> 00:35:12,916
‪你們真會行銷

791
00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:14,625
‪說實話而已

792
00:35:15,250 --> 00:35:16,916
‪我要點炸雞全餐

793
00:35:17,375 --> 00:35:18,458
‪我要點豬排

794
00:35:18,541 --> 00:35:20,041
‪-我要點特別餐，我要…
‪-特別餐

795
00:35:20,333 --> 00:35:22,041
‪-你們有壽司嗎？
‪-我可以…

796
00:35:22,125 --> 00:35:24,916
‪在抓飯上面灑點炸魚柳

797
00:35:25,208 --> 00:35:26,916
‪沒關係，來一碟肉汁

798
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:28,625
‪好，馬上上菜

799
00:35:28,708 --> 00:35:30,541
‪-謝謝各位耐心等候
‪-你叫什麼名字？

800
00:35:30,625 --> 00:35:32,083
‪-我叫麥克
‪-謝謝麥克

801
00:35:32,166 --> 00:35:33,708
‪-謝謝麥克
‪-也可以叫我麥可

802
00:35:34,416 --> 00:35:35,375
‪謝謝麥可

803
00:35:35,583 --> 00:35:37,083
‪太好了，大感謝

804
00:35:37,625 --> 00:35:39,083
‪-我去上廁所
‪-真的？

805
00:35:39,875 --> 00:35:40,833
‪好

806
00:35:41,208 --> 00:35:42,083
‪感激不盡

807
00:35:43,166 --> 00:35:44,000
‪找到名人了

808
00:35:44,083 --> 00:35:44,916
‪太好了

809
00:35:45,583 --> 00:35:46,541
‪約翰傳奇

810
00:35:47,833 --> 00:35:49,000
‪我超開心的

811
00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:50,208
‪那個…

812
00:35:50,625 --> 00:35:52,541
‪對，彈鋼琴的

813
00:35:52,625 --> 00:35:54,666
‪他今天早上打給經紀人說

814
00:35:54,750 --> 00:35:57,500
‪“我要上那個節目”
‪他已經跳上飛機過來了

815
00:35:57,916 --> 00:35:58,833
‪-現在？
‪-對

816
00:35:59,083 --> 00:36:00,000
‪-來這？
‪-他趕過來

817
00:36:00,375 --> 00:36:02,125
‪說實話，我從來沒聽過

818
00:36:02,208 --> 00:36:03,875
‪有人這麼想上我們節目

819
00:36:08,041 --> 00:36:08,875
‪他何時來？

820
00:36:08,958 --> 00:36:10,708
‪-馬上就到
‪-他在哪裡？

821
00:36:10,791 --> 00:36:12,625
‪他的員工說只差幾分鐘

822
00:36:12,833 --> 00:36:14,208
‪我可能離開…

823
00:36:14,291 --> 00:36:15,625
‪-查克
‪-幹嘛？

824
00:36:21,500 --> 00:36:22,583
‪老朋友，你好

825
00:36:22,916 --> 00:36:24,541
‪我見到你好開心

826
00:36:24,916 --> 00:36:26,250
‪我來這裡超嗨的

827
00:36:26,625 --> 00:36:27,500
‪很好

828
00:36:28,166 --> 00:36:29,875
‪-好，請坐
‪-好

829
00:36:30,208 --> 00:36:31,500
‪-好
‪-好

830
00:36:33,041 --> 00:36:35,291
‪我早就想上你的節目了

831
00:36:35,375 --> 00:36:36,958
‪我經常跟我的經紀人講

832
00:36:37,041 --> 00:36:39,000
‪-我來這裡超高興的
‪-好

833
00:36:39,083 --> 00:36:40,250
‪查克，你還好吧？

834
00:36:40,583 --> 00:36:41,875
‪我很好

835
00:36:41,958 --> 00:36:45,291
‪但有時拍片前會拉肚子
‪我是說錄影前會緊張

836
00:36:45,708 --> 00:36:46,750
‪好

837
00:36:47,833 --> 00:36:52,125
‪歡迎收看《雙蕨之間》

838
00:36:52,208 --> 00:36:53,833
‪我是主持人查克葛里芬納奇

839
00:36:53,916 --> 00:36:55,041
‪今天的來賓是

840
00:36:55,500 --> 00:36:56,500
{\an8}‪約翰傳奇

841
00:36:56,583 --> 00:36:58,000
{\an8}‪-查克
‪-約翰

842
00:36:58,750 --> 00:37:00,333
‪你可以幫我媽簽名嗎？

843
00:37:00,708 --> 00:37:01,666
‪沒問題

844
00:37:01,750 --> 00:37:04,041
‪-因為她要送給她媽
‪-好

845
00:37:04,833 --> 00:37:05,875
‪外婆也很好

846
00:37:08,416 --> 00:37:09,500
‪你真的可以吧？

847
00:37:09,583 --> 00:37:10,833
‪完全沒問題

848
00:37:11,458 --> 00:37:12,750
‪我超級高興的

849
00:37:12,833 --> 00:37:13,833
‪你很高興？

850
00:37:16,791 --> 00:37:18,083
‪我們有些共通點

851
00:37:18,750 --> 00:37:21,166
‪我們都喜歡白色的東西

852
00:37:21,250 --> 00:37:23,291
‪你彈鋼琴，我喜歡逗白人笑

853
00:37:24,916 --> 00:37:25,791
‪你太強了

854
00:37:27,333 --> 00:37:28,333
‪這個笑點真好

855
00:37:29,625 --> 00:37:30,625
‪你有很多頭銜

856
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:32,291
‪音樂家、演員

857
00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:34,166
‪製作人、慈善家

858
00:37:34,833 --> 00:37:35,750
‪其實說真的

859
00:37:35,833 --> 00:37:38,125
‪你只是娶了超級模特兒的大富翁吧？

860
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,375
‪我是娶了超級模特兒，對

861
00:37:46,083 --> 00:37:46,916
‪我調查一下

862
00:37:47,333 --> 00:37:48,166
‪他見過你老婆

863
00:37:48,416 --> 00:37:49,333
‪-你見過？
‪-有嗎？

864
00:37:49,416 --> 00:37:50,250
‪對

865
00:37:50,791 --> 00:37:51,875
‪-什麼時候？
‪-有啊

866
00:37:52,541 --> 00:37:53,458
‪酒吧裡

867
00:37:53,708 --> 00:37:55,041
‪你在酒吧見到我老婆？

868
00:37:55,791 --> 00:37:58,250
‪-我見到很多人…
‪-才昨晚的事

869
00:37:59,166 --> 00:38:00,666
‪你昨晚見到我老婆？

870
00:38:01,083 --> 00:38:02,041
‪她長什麼樣子？

871
00:38:02,125 --> 00:38:02,958
‪她是大美女

872
00:38:03,041 --> 00:38:05,458
‪我叫你過去跟她攀談，也許能專訪她

873
00:38:07,291 --> 00:38:09,583
‪-我不記得她
‪-你幹嘛盯著我？

874
00:38:10,291 --> 00:38:12,291
‪-什麼？
‪-你好像要暗示什麼

875
00:38:12,375 --> 00:38:14,250
‪-可是我看不懂
‪-媽的閉嘴

876
00:38:18,458 --> 00:38:19,333
‪卡蘿

877
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:20,833
‪查克

878
00:38:21,958 --> 00:38:22,875
‪真有意思

879
00:38:23,458 --> 00:38:24,291
‪對

880
00:38:24,625 --> 00:38:25,583
‪先別走

881
00:38:26,458 --> 00:38:27,500
‪兄弟，抱一個

882
00:38:27,916 --> 00:38:28,791
‪好

883
00:38:31,458 --> 00:38:33,125
‪我知道你幹的好事

884
00:38:41,833 --> 00:38:42,791
‪天啊

885
00:38:45,375 --> 00:38:46,916
‪對，我馬上出來

886
00:38:47,041 --> 00:38:48,208
‪我們到後門會合

887
00:38:49,791 --> 00:38:50,625
‪查克

888
00:38:51,083 --> 00:38:51,916
‪發生什麼事？

889
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,750
‪他拿胡椒水噴我老二

890
00:38:53,833 --> 00:38:54,666
‪你幹什麼好事？

891
00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:58,416
‪可能是報復我搞他老婆

892
00:38:58,875 --> 00:38:59,708
‪什麼？

893
00:38:59,875 --> 00:39:03,666
‪我上了克莉絲泰根

894
00:39:03,833 --> 00:39:04,958
‪才沒有咧

895
00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:07,833
‪不然他幹嘛噴我的戰犯？

896
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:10,958
‪半小時就不痛了啦

897
00:39:11,041 --> 00:39:13,166
‪我也被噴過，沒那麼嚴重

898
00:39:16,083 --> 00:39:17,291
‪天啊

899
00:39:18,375 --> 00:39:20,375
‪（歡迎光臨堪薩斯州）

900
00:39:20,458 --> 00:39:22,291
‪（《廣告狂人》喬漢姆今天簽名會）

901
00:39:24,208 --> 00:39:25,625
‪不好意思，漢姆先生？

902
00:39:25,875 --> 00:39:27,375
‪-你好
‪-你好，我是查克

903
00:39:27,458 --> 00:39:28,791
‪我主持公共電視的脫口秀

904
00:39:28,875 --> 00:39:31,083
‪想請你擔任節目來賓

905
00:39:33,625 --> 00:39:34,625
‪沒問題

906
00:39:34,875 --> 00:39:36,500
‪各位，我們先休息一下

907
00:39:36,583 --> 00:39:39,083
‪我朋友傑克請我上他的電視節目

908
00:39:39,166 --> 00:39:40,833
‪我來者不拒，所以…

909
00:39:41,166 --> 00:39:42,375
‪謝謝各位

910
00:39:44,250 --> 00:39:47,166
{\an8}‪“我也是”運動對男人而言
‪是很重要的學習過程

911
00:39:47,666 --> 00:39:49,291
{\an8}‪你是否錯過這個學習機會？

912
00:39:49,375 --> 00:39:52,083
‪因為你碰到的女人全都想幹死你

913
00:39:53,333 --> 00:39:56,875
‪布萊德利庫柏為《一個巨星的誕生》
‪自編、自製、自導、自演

914
00:39:56,958 --> 00:39:57,875
‪聽說電影很好

915
00:39:57,958 --> 00:39:59,375
‪你希望這能為其他小白臉

916
00:39:59,458 --> 00:40:00,708
‪開創機會嗎？

917
00:40:01,958 --> 00:40:03,375
‪其實啊…

918
00:40:03,541 --> 00:40:06,208
‪你們在拍《貼背戰》的哪個時候發現

919
00:40:06,291 --> 00:40:10,208
‪這部電影是有史以來最經典的爛片？

920
00:40:14,333 --> 00:40:15,416
‪我聽懂了

921
00:40:17,166 --> 00:40:19,708
{\an8}‪今天的來賓是海莉史坦菲德

922
00:40:19,791 --> 00:40:20,625
‪好

923
00:40:20,958 --> 00:40:23,125
‪-幸會，史大…史達林…
‪-謝謝…

924
00:40:23,208 --> 00:40:25,125
{\an8}‪幸會…幸…會…

925
00:40:25,500 --> 00:40:26,791
{\an8}‪謝謝妳上節目，史達林

926
00:40:27,500 --> 00:40:29,166
{\an8}‪妳演過《歌喉讚》二、三集

927
00:40:29,333 --> 00:40:31,083
‪妳後悔沒演比較好的那一集嗎？

928
00:40:32,958 --> 00:40:34,875
‪妳在IG上有一千兩百萬個粉絲

929
00:40:35,541 --> 00:40:38,500
‪如果要為了《大黃蜂》跟大家道歉
‪妳覺得要多久？

930
00:40:39,583 --> 00:40:40,750
‪我看到一半就走了

931
00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:43,208
‪開玩笑的，我才不會這樣

932
00:40:44,375 --> 00:40:46,500
‪我直接跳過，真是慶幸

933
00:40:48,375 --> 00:40:49,833
‪妳跟“一世代”團員交往過

934
00:40:50,250 --> 00:40:53,083
‪他的老二是偏北還是偏南？

935
00:40:55,583 --> 00:40:56,416
‪問完了嗎？

936
00:40:57,791 --> 00:40:59,208
{\an8}‪（阿肯色州傑斯珀市）

937
00:40:59,291 --> 00:41:00,208
‪可以買這個嗎？

938
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:02,750
‪當然可以，大家都買點東西吧

939
00:41:03,083 --> 00:41:04,125
‪我請客

940
00:41:11,750 --> 00:41:13,291
{\an8}‪今天的來賓是

941
00:41:13,583 --> 00:41:14,416
‪阿卡菲娜

942
00:41:14,583 --> 00:41:15,500
‪是奧卡菲娜

943
00:41:15,791 --> 00:41:16,625
‪礦泉水品牌？

944
00:41:16,916 --> 00:41:18,833
{\an8}‪寫法不同

945
00:41:19,083 --> 00:41:21,083
‪妳從13歲起唱擾人樂…

946
00:41:21,166 --> 00:41:22,000
‪饒舌樂

947
00:41:22,541 --> 00:41:23,833
‪-饒舌樂
‪-擾人樂比較對

948
00:41:25,083 --> 00:41:27,291
‪妳演過《瞞天過海：八面玲瓏》

949
00:41:27,416 --> 00:41:28,250
‪好電影

950
00:41:28,416 --> 00:41:30,958
‪我想看這部電影的男性重拍版

951
00:41:31,750 --> 00:41:32,875
‪-希望能成真
‪-對…

952
00:41:33,250 --> 00:41:34,666
‪其實已經有了

953
00:41:34,875 --> 00:41:35,833
‪好幾部

954
00:41:35,916 --> 00:41:38,666
‪好幾部什麼？
‪男性版的《瞞天過海：八面玲瓏》？

955
00:41:38,750 --> 00:41:40,208
‪這部電影就是重拍男…

956
00:41:40,291 --> 00:41:42,000
‪難道還有男性版的《魔鬼剋星》？

957
00:41:42,083 --> 00:41:42,958
‪有

958
00:41:44,250 --> 00:41:45,958
‪-演員是…
‪-萊絲莉瓊斯

959
00:41:46,083 --> 00:41:46,916
‪不是

960
00:41:48,333 --> 00:41:50,833
‪（愛荷華民眾歡迎各位）

961
00:41:50,916 --> 00:41:53,333
‪妳在高空滑索上尿尿因而聲名大噪

962
00:41:53,416 --> 00:41:54,500
‪下一步是什麼？

963
00:41:54,583 --> 00:41:55,791
‪在纜車上用妹妹放屁？

964
00:41:56,333 --> 00:41:58,083
{\an8}‪我在網路廣播上表演過了

965
00:41:58,250 --> 00:42:00,166
‪所以妳的綽號叫搞屁拉蒂法嗎？

966
00:42:00,583 --> 00:42:01,458
‪也許吧

967
00:42:01,541 --> 00:42:04,166
‪妳會希望大家別說妳是女性諧星嗎？

968
00:42:04,666 --> 00:42:05,541
‪會

969
00:42:05,666 --> 00:42:07,916
‪妳不覺得他們應該叫妳黑人諧星嗎？

970
00:42:08,583 --> 00:42:10,750
‪總比叫我男性諧星來得好

971
00:42:11,291 --> 00:42:12,916
‪妳以前給養父母照顧過

972
00:42:13,083 --> 00:42:14,958
‪本節目的衣食父母是福斯特啤酒

973
00:42:16,333 --> 00:42:17,500
‪請看著這台攝影機

974
00:42:17,791 --> 00:42:18,875
‪然後說

975
00:42:19,166 --> 00:42:20,250
‪“福斯特啤酒

976
00:42:20,416 --> 00:42:22,291
‪最適合寄養兒童的啤酒”

977
00:42:22,375 --> 00:42:23,250
‪免談

978
00:42:23,583 --> 00:42:24,416
‪不要

979
00:42:28,208 --> 00:42:30,166
‪（今晚藝人
‪菲比布里吉和酒吧蜘蛛）

980
00:42:44,458 --> 00:42:47,250
‪我有話要說，我想…

981
00:42:49,291 --> 00:42:50,541
‪我要謝謝各位

982
00:42:51,333 --> 00:42:53,333
‪跟我踏上這個旅程

983
00:42:53,833 --> 00:42:55,291
‪這是我一生的夢想

984
00:42:55,750 --> 00:42:57,291
‪我從小就發現大家

985
00:42:57,375 --> 00:42:59,625
‪喜歡指著我、嘲笑我、看著我

986
00:43:01,041 --> 00:43:02,125
‪那時我就知道

987
00:43:03,166 --> 00:43:04,375
‪我有特殊魅力

988
00:43:05,875 --> 00:43:09,250
‪所以我要謝謝各位幫我發揮潛力

989
00:43:09,958 --> 00:43:10,875
‪我想說

990
00:43:11,333 --> 00:43:13,125
‪我剛開始踏上這個旅程時

991
00:43:13,208 --> 00:43:15,583
‪覺得你很討厭，很難相處

992
00:43:16,583 --> 00:43:17,750
‪現在還是這麼覺得

993
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:19,833
‪我開玩笑的

994
00:43:21,166 --> 00:43:22,625
‪-我知道
‪-所以才好笑

995
00:43:22,916 --> 00:43:24,583
‪因為我的想法完全變了

996
00:43:24,916 --> 00:43:26,083
‪我覺得…

997
00:43:26,666 --> 00:43:28,208
‪我不知道，我…

998
00:43:28,291 --> 00:43:29,166
‪我喜歡你

999
00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:30,791
‪-哇
‪-這個嘛

1000
00:43:31,458 --> 00:43:32,333
‪謝謝你，卡卡

1001
00:43:32,583 --> 00:43:33,458
‪不客氣

1002
00:43:33,625 --> 00:43:36,041
‪我也有句話要說

1003
00:43:36,208 --> 00:43:38,708
‪自從我爸開槍打死我媽又自殺後

1004
00:43:38,791 --> 00:43:40,333
‪我就覺得有點…

1005
00:43:40,583 --> 00:43:43,791
‪不知所措，但是你讓我找到生活重心

1006
00:43:43,875 --> 00:43:45,208
‪-所以我要謝謝你
‪-什麼？

1007
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,291
‪對，我爸殺了我媽又自殺，因為…

1008
00:43:49,541 --> 00:43:50,750
‪什麼時候的事？

1009
00:43:50,833 --> 00:43:52,458
‪一陣子了，大概一個月

1010
00:43:53,458 --> 00:43:56,041
‪妳沒請假也沒說？

1011
00:43:56,125 --> 00:43:56,958
‪我很好

1012
00:43:58,625 --> 00:43:59,541
‪我要敬各位一杯

1013
00:43:59,625 --> 00:44:00,666
‪-可以嗎？
‪-可以

1014
00:44:00,750 --> 00:44:01,833
‪-可以
‪-我們敬一杯

1015
00:44:01,916 --> 00:44:02,750
‪好

1016
00:44:03,583 --> 00:44:05,250
‪我要敬那些瘋子

1017
00:44:06,166 --> 00:44:07,000
‪邊緣人

1018
00:44:07,666 --> 00:44:08,500
‪狂人

1019
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:09,833
‪神經病

1020
00:44:10,541 --> 00:44:11,458
‪還有呆瓜

1021
00:44:12,375 --> 00:44:14,375
‪有些人說我們是瘋子

1022
00:44:14,958 --> 00:44:15,875
‪但我覺得

1023
00:44:16,500 --> 00:44:17,583
‪我們是天才

1024
00:44:18,208 --> 00:44:19,291
‪因為我們

1025
00:44:19,875 --> 00:44:20,875
‪必須夠瘋狂

1026
00:44:23,125 --> 00:44:25,458
‪才會想改變這個愚蠢瘋狂的世界

1027
00:44:26,791 --> 00:44:27,625
‪乾杯

1028
00:44:27,875 --> 00:44:29,458
‪說得好

1029
00:44:30,333 --> 00:44:32,250
‪妳想跳舞嗎？

1030
00:44:33,250 --> 00:44:34,166
‪跟我

1031
00:44:34,583 --> 00:44:35,541
‪-好啊
‪-好

1032
00:44:42,541 --> 00:44:43,500
‪妳想跳舞嗎？

1033
00:44:43,666 --> 00:44:44,583
‪我想一個人跳舞

1034
00:44:50,166 --> 00:44:52,666
‪-卡卡，來啦
‪-來啦

1035
00:45:15,041 --> 00:45:16,000
‪203號房

1036
00:45:16,166 --> 00:45:18,500
‪應該有幾個房間也在我名下

1037
00:45:18,583 --> 00:45:20,250
‪對，收據在這裡

1038
00:45:21,458 --> 00:45:23,041
‪希望各位住得愉快

1039
00:45:23,500 --> 00:45:24,375
‪我們很愉快

1040
00:45:25,583 --> 00:45:26,833
‪這些費用是什麼？

1041
00:45:26,958 --> 00:45:28,000
‪底下有明細

1042
00:45:28,541 --> 00:45:31,125
‪我不知道拿出…

1043
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:35,750
‪點心抽屜裡的餅乾時要收費…

1044
00:45:35,833 --> 00:45:36,875
‪你不知道？

1045
00:45:36,958 --> 00:45:39,666
‪我不知道放回去以後還要收費

1046
00:45:39,833 --> 00:45:42,875
‪如果吃掉或喝掉就要

1047
00:45:42,958 --> 00:45:44,291
‪你有吃掉嗎？

1048
00:45:44,375 --> 00:45:45,750
‪我拿了後就吃掉了

1049
00:45:46,041 --> 00:45:48,958
‪可是我拿開不應該收費的

1050
00:45:49,083 --> 00:45:50,791
‪這些是什麼？這好像…

1051
00:45:51,250 --> 00:45:52,375
‪我有租一部電影

1052
00:45:53,125 --> 00:45:53,958
‪又沒什麼

1053
00:45:55,333 --> 00:45:56,250
‪這是A片嗎？

1054
00:45:57,083 --> 00:45:59,500
‪我以為是《老大靠邊閃》
‪結果是《老二靠邊閃》

1055
00:46:00,125 --> 00:46:01,875
‪片名有夠像

1056
00:46:02,041 --> 00:46:04,666
‪你連續租了《老二靠邊閃》好幾次

1057
00:46:04,750 --> 00:46:07,708
‪我以為《老大靠邊閃》會出現
‪所以才一直按

1058
00:46:07,833 --> 00:46:09,375
‪重點是…

1059
00:46:09,625 --> 00:46:12,125
‪你們應該看看演比利克里斯托的人

1060
00:46:13,541 --> 00:46:15,333
‪-我不付
‪-你已經付了

1061
00:46:15,791 --> 00:46:16,958
‪這只是收據

1062
00:46:17,833 --> 00:46:20,166
‪可是我再說一次…我不付

1063
00:46:25,708 --> 00:46:27,541
‪-我好餓
‪-我餓死了

1064
00:46:27,625 --> 00:46:28,541
‪我超餓的

1065
00:46:28,625 --> 00:46:30,625
‪你們要吃合菜嗎？

1066
00:46:31,791 --> 00:46:34,041
‪我希望每個人自己點

1067
00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:35,041
‪-我…
‪-大家好

1068
00:46:35,250 --> 00:46:37,125
‪你們看過菜單了嗎？

1069
00:46:37,208 --> 00:46:38,250
‪我要葡萄汁

1070
00:46:38,333 --> 00:46:41,000
‪不行，我們要四杯水

1071
00:46:41,083 --> 00:46:41,916
‪不要葡萄汁

1072
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,375
‪我可以點柳橙汽水嗎？

1073
00:46:43,458 --> 00:46:44,500
‪-好
‪-我們分著喝

1074
00:46:44,666 --> 00:46:46,125
‪可以把汽水分成三份

1075
00:46:46,500 --> 00:46:48,041
‪一杯汽水再多兩個杯子

1076
00:46:48,125 --> 00:46:51,166
‪但是只付一杯的錢
‪另外兩杯續杯可以嗎？

1077
00:46:51,375 --> 00:46:52,333
‪你們只能…

1078
00:46:52,708 --> 00:46:54,750
‪有一個杯子，大家分著喝

1079
00:46:55,041 --> 00:46:57,041
‪我可以給四根吸管

1080
00:46:57,208 --> 00:46:58,333
‪太好了

1081
00:46:58,458 --> 00:47:00,375
‪一份炸蚌條有幾根？

1082
00:47:00,666 --> 00:47:01,500
‪六根

1083
00:47:01,583 --> 00:47:04,166
‪-多大根？
‪-妳看過雞柳嗎？

1084
00:47:05,041 --> 00:47:06,666
‪我沒看過肌瘤

1085
00:47:08,375 --> 00:47:10,875
‪我是說雞肉烤成長條，不是…

1086
00:47:12,541 --> 00:47:13,791
‪-你們用烤的？
‪-沒關係

1087
00:47:13,875 --> 00:47:17,083
‪一份就好，我們要炸蚌條
‪還有一份鮪魚沙拉

1088
00:47:17,541 --> 00:47:19,166
‪我可以點…

1089
00:47:19,250 --> 00:47:20,583
‪一大杯熱水嗎？

1090
00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:25,583
{\an8}‪你剛剛說

1091
00:47:25,666 --> 00:47:28,625
‪你朋友馬丁費里曼
‪是《黑豹》裡面唯一的好角色？

1092
00:47:28,708 --> 00:47:29,541
‪什麼？

1093
00:47:29,750 --> 00:47:31,833
‪跟剛認識的人講這個很奇怪

1094
00:47:32,250 --> 00:47:33,708
‪-可是我沒說那句話
‪-好了嗎？

1095
00:47:34,041 --> 00:47:36,958
‪歡迎收看《雙蕨之間》

1096
00:47:37,041 --> 00:47:39,250
‪我是主持人查克葛里芬納奇

1097
00:47:39,750 --> 00:47:41,416
‪今天的來賓是

1098
00:47:41,500 --> 00:47:43,666
‪幫你弟弟康柏掰…掰區

1099
00:47:44,416 --> 00:47:46,541
‪幫你弟弟、幫你弟弟康柏敗…邦

1100
00:47:47,083 --> 00:47:47,916
‪卡卡…

1101
00:47:48,666 --> 00:47:49,666
‪幫你弟弟卡卡…

1102
00:47:50,458 --> 00:47:51,458
‪幫你扶好懶趴大支

1103
00:47:51,541 --> 00:47:52,583
‪…班…

1104
00:47:52,833 --> 00:47:53,875
‪-班奈狄克…
‪-康柏弟…

1105
00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:55,125
‪康柏…掰…

1106
00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:57,125
{\an8}‪班奈狄克康柏拜區

1107
00:47:57,375 --> 00:47:58,708
{\an8}‪-沒錯
‪-對

1108
00:47:59,041 --> 00:48:01,250
‪你曾經說過你對自己最嚴格

1109
00:48:02,416 --> 00:48:04,083
‪所以你沒看過批評你的文章？

1110
00:48:04,250 --> 00:48:06,000
‪-我儘量不看
‪-有人寫過

1111
00:48:06,083 --> 00:48:07,833
‪-對你的負面批評…
‪-有

1112
00:48:08,583 --> 00:48:10,250
‪馬不知臉長、木頭…

1113
00:48:10,666 --> 00:48:12,458
‪-我懂了，既然你說了
‪-名字奇怪

1114
00:48:12,541 --> 00:48:14,041
‪-我現在才看出來
‪-對

1115
00:48:14,666 --> 00:48:17,208
‪你是以劇場和獨立電影起家的

1116
00:48:17,416 --> 00:48:18,250
‪對

1117
00:48:18,333 --> 00:48:20,208
‪現在你演出漫威的電影

1118
00:48:20,291 --> 00:48:21,916
‪出賣自己的感覺有多好？

1119
00:48:24,041 --> 00:48:25,500
‪我不覺得這是出賣自己

1120
00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:27,291
‪我覺得漫威的電影很棒

1121
00:48:27,666 --> 00:48:29,250
‪很多演員都在演

1122
00:48:29,708 --> 00:48:30,541
‪你有披斗蓬嗎？

1123
00:48:30,916 --> 00:48:31,916
‪不，我穿披風

1124
00:48:35,291 --> 00:48:38,291
‪你覺得自己演福爾摩斯這種聰明角色

1125
00:48:39,333 --> 00:48:41,500
‪是因為你的長相…

1126
00:48:41,916 --> 00:48:44,625
‪可不可以…幫忙來個特寫

1127
00:48:44,708 --> 00:48:46,333
‪這個長相可以有兩種詮釋

1128
00:48:46,625 --> 00:48:49,000
‪一個是利用推理能力破案

1129
00:48:49,291 --> 00:48:50,666
‪這種臉也很像…

1130
00:48:51,083 --> 00:48:52,958
‪戴安全帽整天打手槍的人

1131
00:48:53,875 --> 00:48:55,041
‪所以界限很模糊

1132
00:48:57,083 --> 00:48:59,250
‪你在電影裡演過梵谷

1133
00:48:59,333 --> 00:49:00,625
‪對

1134
00:49:01,125 --> 00:49:03,250
‪梵谷接手機電話時會這樣

1135
00:49:04,291 --> 00:49:05,125
‪喂…

1136
00:49:05,625 --> 00:49:06,458
‪喂

1137
00:49:07,750 --> 00:49:08,583
‪好好笑

1138
00:49:09,583 --> 00:49:10,708
‪如果你沒有口音

1139
00:49:10,791 --> 00:49:13,750
‪你覺得觀眾會知道
‪你不是很好的演員嗎？

1140
00:49:14,083 --> 00:49:16,583
‪對，我的口音也許能騙人

1141
00:49:16,666 --> 00:49:17,916
‪你能模仿美國口音嗎？

1142
00:49:18,791 --> 00:49:19,625
‪可以

1143
00:49:21,125 --> 00:49:22,666
‪好，那我給你提個詞

1144
00:49:22,750 --> 00:49:23,583
‪好

1145
00:49:23,916 --> 00:49:26,500
‪小子，你的腳踏車挺好看的

1146
00:49:29,125 --> 00:49:32,083
‪小子，你的腳踏車挺好看的

1147
00:49:33,208 --> 00:49:35,958
‪-變態，滾開
‪-變態，滾開

1148
00:49:36,041 --> 00:49:38,041
‪-不，這是我的反應
‪-不，這是我的反應

1149
00:49:40,458 --> 00:49:42,416
‪-你有一群超狂粉絲，而…
‪-超什麼？

1150
00:49:42,541 --> 00:49:44,333
‪-你有一群超狂…
‪-我以為你說猖狂

1151
00:49:46,250 --> 00:49:47,291
‪為什麼…我說超狂

1152
00:49:47,375 --> 00:49:48,458
‪你發音有問題

1153
00:49:48,625 --> 00:49:50,583
‪所以有時我不知道你在講什麼

1154
00:49:50,750 --> 00:49:53,166
‪好，我說“猖狂”，你有一群猖狂粉絲

1155
00:49:53,250 --> 00:49:54,500
‪-爽了嗎？
‪-笨死了

1156
00:49:54,583 --> 00:49:56,875
‪你有一群猖狂到不行的粉絲

1157
00:49:56,958 --> 00:49:57,833
‪超狂啦

1158
00:49:58,666 --> 00:50:00,833
‪他們看你的舞台劇時會狂幹嗎？

1159
00:50:00,916 --> 00:50:03,416
‪猖狂影迷老是在觀眾群裡拼命搞

1160
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:04,500
‪-而且…
‪-太扯了

1161
00:50:04,583 --> 00:50:06,708
‪你跟復活節兔子是好朋友嗎？

1162
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:07,916
‪你認識兔寶寶嗎？

1163
00:50:17,416 --> 00:50:18,875
‪你還好嗎？

1164
00:50:19,541 --> 00:50:21,125
‪你剛才訪問時有點火大…

1165
00:50:21,541 --> 00:50:23,208
‪那個叫康柏…康摩…克里…

1166
00:50:23,291 --> 00:50:24,125
‪康柏克里區

1167
00:50:24,458 --> 00:50:25,958
‪他叫摳那弟弟腦袋壞去

1168
00:50:26,291 --> 00:50:27,541
‪我只是…我…

1169
00:50:29,083 --> 00:50:31,000
‪我不是要怪你們

1170
00:50:31,083 --> 00:50:31,916
‪不過…

1171
00:50:32,375 --> 00:50:33,500
‪我們有點…

1172
00:50:34,333 --> 00:50:37,083
‪預算危機，我們現金不夠了

1173
00:50:37,458 --> 00:50:39,541
‪沒關係，你可以打給威爾法洛

1174
00:50:39,625 --> 00:50:41,083
‪-對
‪-請他多匯點錢

1175
00:50:41,166 --> 00:50:42,000
‪我馬上打

1176
00:50:42,333 --> 00:50:43,791
‪-不要…
‪-法洛怎麼寫？

1177
00:50:43,916 --> 00:50:44,750
‪不要打

1178
00:50:45,875 --> 00:50:49,083
‪我說他會負擔這個企畫的預算時

1179
00:50:49,166 --> 00:50:50,000
‪意思是…

1180
00:50:50,333 --> 00:50:53,125
‪他以後才會給錢

1181
00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:54,541
‪什麼？

1182
00:50:55,041 --> 00:50:56,625
‪他沒有給我們預支開銷

1183
00:50:56,708 --> 00:50:58,000
‪所以現在錢不夠了

1184
00:50:58,750 --> 00:51:00,041
‪你騙我們威爾法洛的事？

1185
00:51:00,125 --> 00:51:01,000
‪太好了

1186
00:51:01,083 --> 00:51:04,291
‪他也沒說過讓我們加入這個節目吧？

1187
00:51:04,375 --> 00:51:05,666
‪這個也是謊話嗎？

1188
00:51:05,916 --> 00:51:08,375
‪只要我們到洛杉磯就沒事了

1189
00:51:08,458 --> 00:51:09,875
‪我不會丟下各位

1190
00:51:10,958 --> 00:51:11,916
‪我們是朋友

1191
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:12,833
‪是嗎？

1192
00:51:13,416 --> 00:51:15,666
‪我們是朋友還是一群笨蛋

1193
00:51:16,125 --> 00:51:18,375
‪被你騙來幫忙

1194
00:51:18,458 --> 00:51:19,541
‪-做白工？
‪-別這樣

1195
00:51:24,583 --> 00:51:25,416
‪卡蘿

1196
00:51:37,208 --> 00:51:40,291
‪（科羅拉多州杜藍哥市）

1197
00:51:40,541 --> 00:51:41,416
‪諾瑪

1198
00:51:42,666 --> 00:51:44,208
‪妳為什麼會在這裡？

1199
00:51:44,291 --> 00:51:46,416
‪我在為下一部電影做功課

1200
00:51:46,666 --> 00:51:47,583
‪什麼樣的功課？

1201
00:51:47,791 --> 00:51:50,375
‪我在學怎麼當個無聊的人

1202
00:51:50,708 --> 00:51:51,541
‪真的？

1203
00:51:51,625 --> 00:51:53,458
‪今天的來賓是

1204
00:51:54,041 --> 00:51:55,333
‪特斯拉湯普生

1205
00:51:55,458 --> 00:51:56,666
‪特斯拉湯普生？

1206
00:51:56,750 --> 00:51:58,291
‪不…是泰莎

1207
00:51:58,875 --> 00:51:59,791
‪一種車子

1208
00:51:59,916 --> 00:52:01,416
‪-不，不是車子
‪-電動車？

1209
00:52:01,500 --> 00:52:03,333
‪-沒有最後那個拉
‪-可是上面寫

1210
00:52:03,416 --> 00:52:04,250
‪“泰莎

1211
00:52:04,541 --> 00:52:06,500
‪那個車款”

1212
00:52:06,583 --> 00:52:08,333
‪跟那個電動車牌子不一樣

1213
00:52:08,458 --> 00:52:09,833
‪因為那不是我的名字

1214
00:52:09,916 --> 00:52:10,916
‪我開的就是泰莎

1215
00:52:11,750 --> 00:52:12,583
‪《金牌拳手》

1216
00:52:13,708 --> 00:52:14,916
‪史考特史戴普怎麼樣？

1217
00:52:15,416 --> 00:52:16,958
‪-誰？
‪-妳那個樂團的歌手

1218
00:52:17,958 --> 00:52:19,625
‪上面說妳在《金牌拳手》樂團

1219
00:52:19,791 --> 00:52:21,250
‪是電影，不是樂團

1220
00:52:21,958 --> 00:52:23,541
‪那麼史考特史戴普怎麼樣？

1221
00:52:24,583 --> 00:52:25,458
‪我沒…

1222
00:52:25,541 --> 00:52:27,541
‪我沒見過他，因為我…

1223
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:29,416
‪他們沒演那部電影

1224
00:52:30,541 --> 00:52:32,291
‪可是妳想見他吧？

1225
00:52:32,958 --> 00:52:34,083
‪可以啊

1226
00:52:34,166 --> 00:52:37,708
‪如果有機會
‪又不用跑很遠，那就可以

1227
00:52:38,416 --> 00:52:40,958
‪好萊塢女星經常被告誡要注意體重

1228
00:52:41,166 --> 00:52:44,833
‪妳覺得為什麼
‪這麼多女演員還是該減肥？

1229
00:52:45,166 --> 00:52:48,791
‪好萊塢有的男演員老了不能看

1230
00:52:49,125 --> 00:52:52,083
‪他們不去健身

1231
00:52:52,291 --> 00:52:54,041
‪滿頭亂髮、衣衫不整

1232
00:52:54,416 --> 00:52:55,958
‪也不洗澡

1233
00:52:56,041 --> 00:52:58,333
‪穿件西裝外套

1234
00:52:58,625 --> 00:53:00,625
‪大家都跟他們說你好帥喔

1235
00:53:00,791 --> 00:53:01,875
‪其實看起來…

1236
00:53:02,666 --> 00:53:03,916
‪超噁心的，所以…

1237
00:53:04,458 --> 00:53:05,625
‪對，我聽到了

1238
00:53:05,916 --> 00:53:07,208
‪真令人難過

1239
00:53:07,291 --> 00:53:08,125
‪對

1240
00:53:09,416 --> 00:53:11,375
‪（阿布奎基）

1241
00:53:11,666 --> 00:53:13,458
‪這是捷徑？

1242
00:53:13,541 --> 00:53:14,791
‪我們要去哪裡？

1243
00:53:14,875 --> 00:53:17,791
‪我不知道是不是在這裡登記…
‪我不知道

1244
00:53:17,875 --> 00:53:19,625
‪-這是什麼意思？
‪-去看看怎麼回事

1245
00:53:26,541 --> 00:53:28,083
‪-這裡好奇怪
‪-我們在哪裡？

1246
00:53:28,458 --> 00:53:29,750
‪我們在這裡過夜

1247
00:53:30,416 --> 00:53:32,291
‪你說我們要住四季大飯店

1248
00:53:33,125 --> 00:53:37,500
‪我說我們要住三季都封閉的地方

1249
00:53:37,583 --> 00:53:40,333
‪-誰相信你的鬼話？
‪-我就是這麼說的

1250
00:53:40,416 --> 00:53:42,041
‪你們給我少說幾句…

1251
00:53:42,250 --> 00:53:44,625
‪你是個騙子，我們都被你騙了

1252
00:53:44,708 --> 00:53:46,625
‪對，這是廢棄營地

1253
00:53:47,208 --> 00:53:49,416
‪但是我們今天在這裡過夜
‪好好放鬆一下

1254
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,250
‪他瘋了，完全失去理智

1255
00:53:53,333 --> 00:53:54,875
‪他壓力很大

1256
00:53:54,958 --> 00:53:56,958
‪可是我們只剩下一集了

1257
00:53:57,166 --> 00:53:58,375
‪查克找到釣竿

1258
00:53:58,458 --> 00:54:00,625
‪我們要到湖中想辦法釣魚

1259
00:54:05,916 --> 00:54:07,125
‪我把熱狗放到魚鉤上

1260
00:54:07,958 --> 00:54:09,083
‪-你有熱狗？
‪-對

1261
00:54:09,791 --> 00:54:10,750
‪給我們吃啊

1262
00:54:10,958 --> 00:54:11,791
‪妳要嗎？

1263
00:54:11,875 --> 00:54:13,416
‪-我不要
‪-我可以給妳

1264
00:54:13,916 --> 00:54:15,333
‪你放在口袋裡一整天了

1265
00:54:15,416 --> 00:54:17,416
‪只有兩天沒關係，熱狗不會壞

1266
00:54:17,500 --> 00:54:19,208
‪-拿去用吧
‪-好

1267
00:54:22,500 --> 00:54:23,375
‪等一下

1268
00:54:28,833 --> 00:54:29,666
‪纏住了嗎？

1269
00:54:30,458 --> 00:54:32,041
‪-你要…
‪-天啊

1270
00:54:37,166 --> 00:54:38,000
‪怎麼回事？

1271
00:54:38,708 --> 00:54:39,625
‪我只是覺得…

1272
00:54:40,750 --> 00:54:41,666
‪我們在幹嘛？

1273
00:54:43,208 --> 00:54:46,291
‪我在天鵝船上想釣魚加菜

1274
00:54:46,958 --> 00:54:48,083
‪你可以的

1275
00:54:48,500 --> 00:54:50,500
‪你一定可以釣條大魚當晚餐

1276
00:54:50,583 --> 00:54:52,291
‪我們今晚一定可以吃大餐

1277
00:54:53,291 --> 00:54:56,208
‪你一定能製作電視節目，改變全世界

1278
00:54:57,000 --> 00:54:57,833
‪懂嗎？

1279
00:54:58,583 --> 00:54:59,583
‪我相信你

1280
00:55:00,250 --> 00:55:02,333
‪如果有人相信你，你就不能放棄

1281
00:55:07,333 --> 00:55:09,458
‪卡蘿，如果沒有妳
‪我不知道該怎麼辦

1282
00:55:14,208 --> 00:55:16,500
‪妳這輩子最想做的是什麼？

1283
00:55:17,458 --> 00:55:18,333
‪別管我了

1284
00:55:18,833 --> 00:55:20,000
‪也別管公視

1285
00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:20,958
‪妳想做什麼？

1286
00:55:21,458 --> 00:55:23,833
‪我曾經想當喇叭手

1287
00:55:25,833 --> 00:55:28,333
‪我們出發前我才買了一支喇叭

1288
00:55:32,375 --> 00:55:33,708
‪-妳放在皮包裡？
‪-對

1289
00:55:34,208 --> 00:55:36,291
‪要是我能鼓起勇氣，就可以馬上吹

1290
00:55:37,333 --> 00:55:38,500
‪妳在怕什麼？

1291
00:55:39,958 --> 00:55:41,541
‪我怕如果吹得太好

1292
00:55:42,291 --> 00:55:43,250
‪就得離開你

1293
00:55:44,041 --> 00:55:45,208
‪如果妳變成

1294
00:55:46,041 --> 00:55:48,708
‪知名喇叭手，就別管我了，沒關係

1295
00:55:49,375 --> 00:55:50,916
‪妳想吹喇叭就吹吧

1296
00:55:51,541 --> 00:55:53,291
‪鼓起勇氣，吹出來

1297
00:55:54,500 --> 00:55:55,333
‪好

1298
00:55:55,875 --> 00:55:56,750
‪好

1299
00:55:58,833 --> 00:56:00,708
‪我看了很多教學影片

1300
00:56:19,916 --> 00:56:20,750
‪吹得不錯

1301
00:56:21,041 --> 00:56:22,166
‪妳繼續吹喇叭

1302
00:56:22,666 --> 00:56:23,958
‪我來釣幾條魚

1303
00:56:36,708 --> 00:56:37,541
{\an8}‪好了，各位

1304
00:56:37,875 --> 00:56:39,250
‪請大家集合一下

1305
00:56:39,625 --> 00:56:40,500
‪集合

1306
00:56:40,958 --> 00:56:41,791
‪好

1307
00:56:42,041 --> 00:56:43,791
‪這是彼得汀克萊傑的家

1308
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,708
‪也是最後一個專訪，他顯然非常有錢

1309
00:56:47,458 --> 00:56:48,458
‪所以我有一計

1310
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:51,208
‪卡蘿，他在受訪時會分心

1311
00:56:51,958 --> 00:56:53,875
‪我要妳偷幾樣他的東西

1312
00:56:54,666 --> 00:56:55,916
‪-什麼？
‪-什麼？不要

1313
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:57,541
‪-我們不是小偷
‪-不可以這樣

1314
00:56:57,625 --> 00:57:00,458
‪我知道…不要偷很多
‪只要能轉賣就好

1315
00:57:00,541 --> 00:57:01,416
‪賺點盤纏

1316
00:57:01,500 --> 00:57:03,958
‪-我不喜歡這樣
‪-妳不必當小偷

1317
00:57:04,041 --> 00:57:04,916
‪好，我來

1318
00:57:05,791 --> 00:57:07,791
‪你要操作攝影機，而且你太笨了

1319
00:57:08,833 --> 00:57:09,666
‪卡蘿

1320
00:57:09,958 --> 00:57:11,250
‪如果我們不回洛杉磯

1321
00:57:12,833 --> 00:57:14,250
‪脫口秀的夢就碎了

1322
00:57:16,708 --> 00:57:17,541
‪拜託啦

1323
00:57:20,416 --> 00:57:21,250
‪好

1324
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:23,833
‪我們偷彼得汀克萊傑的東西吧

1325
00:57:24,583 --> 00:57:25,541
‪-好
‪-好

1326
00:57:25,875 --> 00:57:26,750
‪好

1327
00:57:27,208 --> 00:57:28,583
‪拼了，我們走

1328
00:57:29,125 --> 00:57:30,958
‪好，我搬蕨類植物

1329
00:57:37,750 --> 00:57:39,000
‪你們好

1330
00:57:39,291 --> 00:57:41,166
‪《雙蕨》製作人員

1331
00:57:41,750 --> 00:57:42,666
‪來吧

1332
00:57:45,166 --> 00:57:46,375
‪來吧，別害羞

1333
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:49,291
‪昨晚太晚睡

1334
00:57:51,333 --> 00:57:52,500
‪好華麗的房子

1335
00:57:52,833 --> 00:57:54,833
‪介紹一下你的奢侈品吧

1336
00:57:56,250 --> 00:57:57,125
‪好

1337
00:57:57,666 --> 00:57:59,375
‪反正我一定會炫耀

1338
00:57:59,666 --> 00:58:01,750
‪這是我的安迪沃荷真跡

1339
00:58:02,083 --> 00:58:03,708
‪（拉克瓦）

1340
00:58:04,541 --> 00:58:06,250
‪大概二十五萬美元

1341
00:58:06,500 --> 00:58:07,791
‪超划算的

1342
00:58:08,041 --> 00:58:09,541
‪那時有拉克瓦汽水嗎？

1343
00:58:09,708 --> 00:58:10,541
‪有

1344
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:11,833
‪拉克瓦

1345
00:58:11,916 --> 00:58:14,333
‪一定很難拿下來

1346
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:16,000
‪這個

1347
00:58:19,083 --> 00:58:21,125
‪喬治馬丁的《凜冬寒風》？

1348
00:58:21,583 --> 00:58:22,666
‪根本還沒出版耶

1349
00:58:23,041 --> 00:58:25,000
‪這個一定可以賣好價錢

1350
00:58:26,208 --> 00:58:27,208
‪你們看這個

1351
00:58:30,250 --> 00:58:31,208
‪登登

1352
00:58:32,916 --> 00:58:34,416
‪這是法貝熱彩蛋嗎？

1353
00:58:34,500 --> 00:58:35,625
‪一點也沒錯

1354
00:58:36,958 --> 00:58:39,083
‪你們知道最棒的是什麼嗎？

1355
00:58:41,416 --> 00:58:42,583
‪整箱法貝熱彩蛋

1356
00:58:44,250 --> 00:58:45,375
‪一定值很多錢吧？

1357
00:58:46,083 --> 00:58:46,916
‪多少？

1358
00:58:47,750 --> 00:58:49,375
‪高到妳無法想像

1359
00:58:49,750 --> 00:58:50,666
‪很好

1360
00:58:51,208 --> 00:58:54,041
‪-謝謝，我們準備專訪
‪-要做專訪？

1361
00:58:54,250 --> 00:58:55,125
‪來吧

1362
00:59:00,166 --> 00:59:02,458
‪歡迎收看《雙蕨之間》

1363
00:59:02,541 --> 00:59:04,625
‪我是主持人查克葛里芬納奇

1364
00:59:04,708 --> 00:59:06,083
‪今天的來賓是

1365
00:59:06,666 --> 00:59:08,166
‪彼得汀克萊傑

1366
00:59:09,208 --> 00:59:11,250
{\an8}‪謝謝汀克萊傑先生上節目

1367
00:59:12,541 --> 00:59:13,375
‪汀克萊傑

1368
00:59:14,375 --> 00:59:15,458
‪這是一種性病嗎？

1369
00:59:17,166 --> 00:59:19,666
‪德文應該是馮汀克萊傑，但…

1370
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:21,291
‪你為什麼用真名？

1371
00:59:22,166 --> 00:59:23,625
‪如果有人跟我說

1372
00:59:24,041 --> 00:59:28,208
‪“你要用彼得汀克萊傑
‪這個名字開始演藝生涯”

1373
00:59:28,291 --> 00:59:30,666
‪我在想當初可以用什麼名字

1374
00:59:31,583 --> 00:59:33,166
‪葛里芬納奇就是藝名

1375
00:59:33,958 --> 00:59:34,833
‪真名是什麼？

1376
00:59:34,916 --> 00:59:37,208
‪我的真名是查德屁豪

1377
00:59:38,500 --> 00:59:39,541
‪不可能

1378
00:59:39,916 --> 00:59:41,833
‪迪士尼頻道有個小孩

1379
00:59:43,041 --> 00:59:43,916
‪查德

1380
00:59:44,250 --> 00:59:45,083
‪屁豪

1381
00:59:45,166 --> 00:59:47,333
‪他有演《少年魔法師》

1382
00:59:47,666 --> 00:59:48,541
‪他就姓屁豪

1383
00:59:49,125 --> 00:59:50,291
‪所以我得改名字

1384
00:59:52,500 --> 00:59:53,500
‪你有演《X戰警》？

1385
00:59:55,416 --> 00:59:56,791
‪我最喜歡的X戰警是誰？

1386
00:59:57,750 --> 00:59:58,583
‪凱特琳珍娜

1387
00:59:59,625 --> 01:00:01,375
‪對了，這不是罵人的笑話

1388
01:00:01,875 --> 01:00:05,041
‪我真的以為她有演《X戰警》電影

1389
01:00:07,458 --> 01:00:08,958
‪你有演《家有阿福》吧？

1390
01:00:09,583 --> 01:00:10,416
‪《精靈總動員》

1391
01:00:11,500 --> 01:00:13,583
‪我是說你有穿《家有阿福》的戲服？

1392
01:00:15,625 --> 01:00:16,458
‪我可以…

1393
01:00:16,791 --> 01:00:17,625
‪馬上好

1394
01:00:18,125 --> 01:00:21,375
‪請看著我的臉，因為這個問題很嚴肅

1395
01:00:21,458 --> 01:00:22,875
‪必須看著我的臉

1396
01:00:23,333 --> 01:00:25,958
‪你演《世界大對戰》覺得好玩嗎？

1397
01:00:26,166 --> 01:00:27,916
‪《世界大對戰》很有趣嗎？

1398
01:00:29,708 --> 01:00:30,750
‪她偷我的彩蛋

1399
01:00:31,166 --> 01:00:32,166
‪-等一下
‪-快走

1400
01:00:32,250 --> 01:00:34,041
‪-嘿
‪-拿了就走

1401
01:00:34,125 --> 01:00:34,958
‪儘量拿

1402
01:00:35,041 --> 01:00:36,708
‪-快走
‪-你們在幹嘛？

1403
01:00:36,791 --> 01:00:39,000
‪你們在幹嘛？我的彩蛋

1404
01:00:39,291 --> 01:00:40,541
‪我珍貴的彩蛋

1405
01:00:42,166 --> 01:00:44,250
‪-我欣賞你演的《意外》
‪-靠

1406
01:00:44,875 --> 01:00:46,916
‪為什麼我不養惡犬？

1407
01:00:47,750 --> 01:00:48,583
‪我…

1408
01:00:49,291 --> 01:00:51,291
‪我光是存款至少還有

1409
01:00:51,875 --> 01:00:53,666
‪一億零二百萬美元

1410
01:00:54,708 --> 01:00:56,000
‪我沒問題的

1411
01:00:56,333 --> 01:00:57,416
‪我是生存專家

1412
01:00:57,833 --> 01:00:58,916
‪你一定能活下去

1413
01:01:03,166 --> 01:01:05,333
‪賣掉汀克萊傑先生的彩蛋後
‪賺到一點現金

1414
01:01:05,791 --> 01:01:08,083
‪現在我們必須在
‪早上9點前趕到洛杉磯

1415
01:01:08,250 --> 01:01:10,500
‪-把母帶拿給威爾法洛
‪-好

1416
01:01:11,333 --> 01:01:12,166
‪上車

1417
01:01:57,625 --> 01:01:58,458
‪這是什麼？

1418
01:02:00,791 --> 01:02:01,625
‪天啊

1419
01:02:02,541 --> 01:02:03,875
‪檢查我的電子郵件

1420
01:02:15,500 --> 01:02:16,833
‪密碼？天啊

1421
01:02:18,166 --> 01:02:19,083
‪密碼就是“天啊”

1422
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:23,000
‪我每次都來這套

1423
01:02:30,291 --> 01:02:31,500
‪天啊

1424
01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:34,083
‪我的音樂呢？

1425
01:02:37,333 --> 01:02:38,666
‪天啊

1426
01:02:52,166 --> 01:02:53,125
‪怎麼回事？

1427
01:02:56,375 --> 01:02:57,250
‪天啊

1428
01:02:59,333 --> 01:03:00,166
‪你開…

1429
01:03:00,375 --> 01:03:01,791
‪-怎麼會這樣？
‪-搞屁啊？

1430
01:03:02,666 --> 01:03:03,791
‪我們死定了

1431
01:03:04,708 --> 01:03:06,708
‪現在不可能及時趕到洛杉磯了

1432
01:03:06,833 --> 01:03:07,875
‪蕨類植物呢？

1433
01:03:10,166 --> 01:03:11,125
‪蕨類植物…

1434
01:03:12,291 --> 01:03:13,125
‪等一下

1435
01:03:15,333 --> 01:03:16,291
‪畜生

1436
01:03:17,750 --> 01:03:18,833
‪我的蕨類植物

1437
01:03:19,625 --> 01:03:20,500
‪我的蕨類植物

1438
01:03:22,625 --> 01:03:23,625
‪被壓爛<i>‪了</i>

1439
01:03:25,625 --> 01:03:27,250
‪我的蕨類植物被壓爛了

1440
01:03:27,541 --> 01:03:29,541
‪查克，別擔心，買過就好了

1441
01:03:29,791 --> 01:03:32,083
‪我在想什麼？
‪怎麼可能拿到脫口秀合約？

1442
01:03:32,625 --> 01:03:33,916
‪開車全國走透透

1443
01:03:34,041 --> 01:03:35,500
‪根本就不可能

1444
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:37,791
‪及時趕到洛杉磯

1445
01:03:37,875 --> 01:03:38,833
‪沒問題的

1446
01:03:38,916 --> 01:03:41,291
‪我們只要走到最近的城鎮…

1447
01:03:41,375 --> 01:03:42,541
‪我只會害你們

1448
01:03:45,416 --> 01:03:46,375
‪離我遠一點

1449
01:03:46,708 --> 01:03:48,708
‪全完了，我要回家

1450
01:03:48,791 --> 01:03:50,000
‪查克，你不能放棄

1451
01:03:50,583 --> 01:03:51,458
‪我需要你

1452
01:03:51,541 --> 01:03:53,541
‪是嗎？我做不下去了

1453
01:03:56,125 --> 01:03:57,125
‪走吧

1454
01:04:00,500 --> 01:04:01,375
‪-走吧
‪-走吧

1455
01:04:08,333 --> 01:04:09,291
‪妳確定嗎？

1456
01:04:34,625 --> 01:04:36,500
‪好，不要再拍了好嗎？

1457
01:04:36,958 --> 01:04:38,625
‪你叫我全都拍的

1458
01:04:40,041 --> 01:04:42,250
‪對，謝謝，拜託妳關…

1459
01:04:44,041 --> 01:04:44,916
‪夠了

1460
01:04:48,750 --> 01:04:52,625
‪（酒吧）

1461
01:05:07,166 --> 01:05:08,000
‪你要什麼？

1462
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:10,250
‪柳橙汁，謝謝

1463
01:05:11,125 --> 01:05:13,125
‪各位可以看到，吉姆仍然領先

1464
01:05:13,208 --> 01:05:15,458
‪但是我們必須扣掉250分

1465
01:05:15,541 --> 01:05:18,791
‪因為休息期間評審判定

1466
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,541
‪林肯是美國第16屆總統

1467
01:05:22,083 --> 01:05:23,958
‪來自德州休士頓的蒂娜

1468
01:05:24,458 --> 01:05:26,166
‪德州代表

1469
01:05:26,250 --> 01:05:29,333
‪妳說妳今晚上節目
‪有一個很特別的理由

1470
01:05:29,875 --> 01:05:31,958
‪因為我想帶好朋友一起度假

1471
01:05:32,041 --> 01:05:35,083
‪他們都應該好好度假
‪他們對我來說也很重要

1472
01:05:36,083 --> 01:05:38,750
‪我想讓他們知道我並非沒用

1473
01:05:39,125 --> 01:05:41,125
‪而且我很感謝他們

1474
01:05:41,583 --> 01:05:42,791
‪妳覺得自己很沒用？

1475
01:05:43,333 --> 01:05:44,333
‪目前是這樣

1476
01:05:44,500 --> 01:05:47,625
‪-但是妳想證明自己不是？
‪-我今天可以辦到

1477
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:50,708
‪蒂娜，妳的分數低很多

1478
01:05:50,958 --> 01:05:53,458
‪但是妳仍然有機會後來居上

1479
01:05:53,625 --> 01:05:55,125
‪所以這個節目才叫做

1480
01:05:55,416 --> 01:05:57,625
‪《不要放棄》

1481
01:05:58,541 --> 01:05:59,500
‪不要放棄

1482
01:06:07,875 --> 01:06:08,791
‪卡蘿

1483
01:06:12,208 --> 01:06:13,041
‪卡蘿

1484
01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:15,166
‪-卡蘿
‪-查克

1485
01:06:15,250 --> 01:06:17,125
‪天啊，查克

1486
01:06:20,083 --> 01:06:20,916
‪妳是對的

1487
01:06:21,291 --> 01:06:22,291
‪人不可以放棄

1488
01:06:22,666 --> 01:06:24,625
‪-謝謝妳相信我
‪-沒事了

1489
01:06:24,708 --> 01:06:26,833
‪我們找到人願意帶我們到洛杉磯

1490
01:06:26,916 --> 01:06:28,166
‪-他要載我們
‪-上車吧

1491
01:06:28,250 --> 01:06:29,666
‪-好嗎？
‪-走吧，上車

1492
01:06:38,458 --> 01:06:41,250
‪（距離洛杉磯8公里）

1493
01:06:43,041 --> 01:06:45,041
‪（不笑就死A門）

1494
01:06:46,000 --> 01:06:46,875
‪謝謝你，恰克

1495
01:06:49,375 --> 01:06:50,250
‪謝謝

1496
01:06:50,958 --> 01:06:52,958
‪快點

1497
01:06:54,291 --> 01:06:56,250
‪-誰知道現在幾點？
‪-不知道

1498
01:06:56,333 --> 01:06:57,708
‪現在沒人戴錶了

1499
01:06:57,916 --> 01:06:58,833
‪快點

1500
01:06:58,916 --> 01:07:00,000
‪靠，快走

1501
01:07:01,333 --> 01:07:02,666
‪-你們不能進去
‪-這邊

1502
01:07:02,833 --> 01:07:04,791
‪闖進去，快

1503
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:13,875
‪法洛先生？

1504
01:07:16,208 --> 01:07:18,708
‪法洛先生，我是查克葛里芬納奇

1505
01:07:19,375 --> 01:07:20,750
‪網路節目製作人

1506
01:07:20,833 --> 01:07:22,958
‪我把你要的母帶拿來了

1507
01:07:28,291 --> 01:07:30,041
‪天啊

1508
01:07:30,541 --> 01:07:31,458
‪那是什麼？

1509
01:07:31,541 --> 01:07:33,083
‪-牙齒美白器
‪-喔

1510
01:07:38,791 --> 01:07:41,458
‪把袋子輕輕放到地上，踢過來給我

1511
01:07:42,500 --> 01:07:43,333
‪慢一點

1512
01:07:44,791 --> 01:07:45,625
‪慢一點

1513
01:07:47,791 --> 01:07:48,625
‪輕一點

1514
01:07:49,583 --> 01:07:50,416
‪輕一點

1515
01:07:52,041 --> 01:07:54,208
‪現在使出全力踢過來

1516
01:07:56,375 --> 01:07:57,291
‪繼續踢

1517
01:08:00,250 --> 01:08:01,541
‪你的腿力就這樣？

1518
01:08:02,541 --> 01:08:03,500
‪-快點
‪-你一定可以…

1519
01:08:05,541 --> 01:08:06,666
‪要的話就推過來

1520
01:08:17,958 --> 01:08:18,833
‪全都在裡面

1521
01:08:27,375 --> 01:08:28,250
‪第十集

1522
01:08:30,916 --> 01:08:32,083
‪做得很好，查克寶貝

1523
01:08:32,458 --> 01:08:34,666
‪我就知道你會這麼說，妳看吧？

1524
01:08:34,750 --> 01:08:36,791
‪-對啊
‪-我說“查克寶貝”，結果他真說了

1525
01:08:36,875 --> 01:08:38,583
‪-對啊
‪-你的任務達成了

1526
01:08:40,125 --> 01:08:41,041
‪現在

1527
01:08:42,666 --> 01:08:43,583
‪你們可以走了

1528
01:08:45,583 --> 01:08:47,791
‪你說只要交出母帶

1529
01:08:49,250 --> 01:08:50,750
‪我就能有自己的電視脫口秀

1530
01:08:51,666 --> 01:08:53,250
‪我們的脫口秀

1531
01:08:53,541 --> 01:08:56,083
‪你忘了平等互惠的互惠是什麼嗎？

1532
01:08:56,625 --> 01:08:59,083
‪我要你交出節目的十集母帶

1533
01:08:59,166 --> 01:09:00,500
‪-對
‪-在早上9點前

1534
01:09:01,083 --> 01:09:02,875
‪對，現在還不到早上9點

1535
01:09:03,250 --> 01:09:04,083
‪早上9點…

1536
01:09:05,458 --> 01:09:06,666
‪是指東京時間

1537
01:09:07,250 --> 01:09:09,166
‪開市以前

1538
01:09:09,875 --> 01:09:11,791
‪這些根本就不能用

1539
01:09:12,083 --> 01:09:13,833
‪全都是廢物

1540
01:09:13,916 --> 01:09:15,333
‪你這個死胖子

1541
01:09:17,666 --> 01:09:19,208
‪-我們怎麼可能知道？
‪-不可能

1542
01:09:19,291 --> 01:09:20,916
‪不過有道理，走吧

1543
01:09:21,000 --> 01:09:22,208
‪我們走吧

1544
01:09:22,583 --> 01:09:23,666
‪葛里芬納奇先生

1545
01:09:23,916 --> 01:09:24,750
‪是我？

1546
01:09:24,833 --> 01:09:26,166
‪你的電視合約

1547
01:09:28,291 --> 01:09:30,916
‪大排場的電視脫口秀

1548
01:09:37,458 --> 01:09:38,666
‪這是幹嘛？

1549
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:40,916
‪我在玩你的啦

1550
01:09:41,166 --> 01:09:43,250
‪-這是什麼意…
‪-你知道我為什麼玩你嗎？

1551
01:09:44,041 --> 01:09:46,375
‪因為名人本來就會互開玩笑

1552
01:09:47,541 --> 01:09:48,625
‪你被我克隆尼了

1553
01:09:49,166 --> 01:09:50,000
‪什麼？

1554
01:09:50,083 --> 01:09:50,958
‪你贏了

1555
01:09:51,250 --> 01:09:52,958
‪我有自己的電視脫口秀了？

1556
01:09:53,041 --> 01:09:54,875
‪你要變成電視明星了

1557
01:09:55,416 --> 01:09:56,458
‪天啊

1558
01:09:57,291 --> 01:09:59,333
‪-耶
‪-上電視，不是網路？

1559
01:09:59,416 --> 01:10:01,041
‪天啊，查克

1560
01:10:01,125 --> 01:10:02,833
‪-耶
‪-你成功了

1561
01:10:10,208 --> 01:10:11,333
‪我的兩盆蕨類植物

1562
01:10:13,041 --> 01:10:14,583
‪都死了…

1563
01:10:16,208 --> 01:10:18,041
‪我不知道還能不能做節目

1564
01:10:18,250 --> 01:10:20,000
‪你只要簽那份合約

1565
01:10:21,291 --> 01:10:22,375
‪我給你的東西

1566
01:10:22,875 --> 01:10:24,333
‪絕對比兩盆蕨類植物好

1567
01:10:25,208 --> 01:10:26,041
‪三盆？

1568
01:10:28,458 --> 01:10:30,541
‪-20盆？
‪-不，四盆蕨類植物

1569
01:10:30,750 --> 01:10:31,625
‪四盆蕨…

1570
01:10:32,083 --> 01:10:33,666
‪-四盆蕨類植物？
‪-四盆蕨類植物

1571
01:10:39,166 --> 01:10:42,166
‪美國萬歲

1572
01:10:42,250 --> 01:10:43,125
‪美國…

1573
01:10:44,416 --> 01:10:48,333
‪（一個月後）

1574
01:10:49,833 --> 01:10:52,916
‪（歡迎繼續收看
‪查克葛里芬納奇的蕨類植物）

1575
01:10:55,041 --> 01:10:56,625
‪歡迎各位繼續收看，我是查克

1576
01:10:56,708 --> 01:10:59,125
‪各位現在觀賞的是第一集

1577
01:10:59,583 --> 01:11:00,541
‪《蕨類植物》

1578
01:11:04,000 --> 01:11:06,708
‪我們歡迎DJ法波

1579
01:11:08,250 --> 01:11:09,583
‪查克你好

1580
01:11:11,583 --> 01:11:12,416
‪好

1581
01:11:12,708 --> 01:11:15,041
‪我們歡迎本節目的第一位來賓

1582
01:11:15,583 --> 01:11:16,833
‪根據維基百科

1583
01:11:16,916 --> 01:11:18,666
‪她身高178公分

1584
01:11:18,791 --> 01:11:21,041
‪生於1985年4月30日

1585
01:11:21,416 --> 01:11:24,000
‪我們掌聲歡迎蓋兒加朵

1586
01:11:24,583 --> 01:11:25,666
‪蓋兒

1587
01:11:28,333 --> 01:11:30,250
‪你好

1588
01:11:33,375 --> 01:11:35,833
‪謝謝你邀我上節目

1589
01:11:35,916 --> 01:11:36,916
‪大家好

1590
01:11:39,041 --> 01:11:41,000
‪很棒吧？

1591
01:11:41,083 --> 01:11:42,666
‪蓋兒加朵來了

1592
01:11:43,750 --> 01:11:45,250
‪謝謝你邀我上節目

1593
01:11:45,333 --> 01:11:49,166
‪能當你第一個節目的第一位來賓
‪我真的與有榮焉

1594
01:11:49,708 --> 01:11:52,500
‪我從來沒當過別人的第一次，所以…

1595
01:11:53,833 --> 01:11:55,291
‪好，蓋兒

1596
01:11:55,583 --> 01:11:57,708
‪我的第一個問題是

1597
01:11:58,875 --> 01:12:01,208
‪蓋兒，妳演活了神力女超人

1598
01:12:01,416 --> 01:12:02,875
‪我在想，妳真的好神啊

1599
01:12:03,000 --> 01:12:03,833
‪很好笑吧？

1600
01:12:06,541 --> 01:12:09,666
‪太厲害了，真好笑

1601
01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:41,041
‪四個年齡層的收視率都很高

1602
01:12:41,125 --> 01:12:44,458
‪超過80歲老年人的有點低
‪不過你用孕婦話題彌補

1603
01:12:44,541 --> 01:12:46,375
‪嚴格說來算是兩人收看

1604
01:12:47,125 --> 01:12:48,000
‪大家好

1605
01:12:48,083 --> 01:12:49,458
‪我可以跟他們說一下嗎？

1606
01:12:49,541 --> 01:12:50,416
‪沒問題

1607
01:12:52,708 --> 01:12:53,583
‪看到了吧？

1608
01:12:53,791 --> 01:12:54,625
‪-對，看到了
‪-對

1609
01:12:54,708 --> 01:12:55,791
‪這是怎麼回事？

1610
01:12:55,875 --> 01:12:57,083
‪我以為節目很好

1611
01:12:57,583 --> 01:12:59,666
‪你們有看到我跟蓋兒的默契嗎？

1612
01:13:00,041 --> 01:13:01,416
‪真不可思議

1613
01:13:01,500 --> 01:13:03,291
‪我們互動良好

1614
01:13:03,375 --> 01:13:06,916
‪-卡蘿不是這個意思
‪-這跟你平常的節目不一樣

1615
01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:08,125
‪好，對，沒錯

1616
01:13:08,208 --> 01:13:10,708
‪法洛先生和我討論過以前的我

1617
01:13:11,333 --> 01:13:14,291
‪以前的我不適合這個節目，各位

1618
01:13:15,000 --> 01:13:16,875
‪這是新的我，全新的查克

1619
01:13:16,958 --> 01:13:18,625
‪名人不喜歡被人侮辱

1620
01:13:18,708 --> 01:13:20,666
‪他們只想談自己過得多爽

1621
01:13:20,916 --> 01:13:22,583
‪這樣不就是出賣自己？

1622
01:13:22,833 --> 01:13:24,125
‪這怎麼算出賣自己？

1623
01:13:24,208 --> 01:13:26,208
‪公司為了這節目送我一台特斯拉耶

1624
01:13:26,291 --> 01:13:28,416
‪這就是不折不扣的出賣自己

1625
01:13:28,500 --> 01:13:30,500
‪你真的想跟威爾法洛一樣嗎？

1626
01:13:30,583 --> 01:13:31,916
‪一個過氣大明星

1627
01:13:32,000 --> 01:13:34,208
‪為了買一天份古柯鹼

1628
01:13:34,291 --> 01:13:36,166
‪成天客串好萊塢電影？

1629
01:13:36,250 --> 01:13:39,666
‪我跟你來好萊塢之前就不喜歡你

1630
01:13:39,916 --> 01:13:42,375
‪但至少我知道你是誰

1631
01:13:42,625 --> 01:13:45,333
‪但我不知道你現在假裝的人是誰了

1632
01:13:46,833 --> 01:13:48,416
‪你們是要我…

1633
01:13:49,708 --> 01:13:51,083
‪放棄這一切嗎？要我…

1634
01:13:52,458 --> 01:13:54,666
‪放棄從小到大的夢想？

1635
01:13:56,666 --> 01:13:59,208
‪查克，你要進棚拍明天節目的宣傳片

1636
01:14:00,708 --> 01:14:03,375
‪查克，我們要開車回北卡羅萊納州

1637
01:14:03,458 --> 01:14:05,750
‪雪若打來說攝影棚重建好了

1638
01:14:06,125 --> 01:14:07,541
‪我們可以回鍋了

1639
01:14:08,416 --> 01:14:10,541
‪卡蘿，是妳要我別放棄的

1640
01:14:11,500 --> 01:14:13,791
‪我知道，我還是相信你，但是…

1641
01:14:15,125 --> 01:14:16,083
‪這不是你

1642
01:14:17,458 --> 01:14:18,291
‪查克

1643
01:14:18,375 --> 01:14:19,208
‪你要來嗎？

1644
01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:49,833
‪各位

1645
01:14:50,416 --> 01:14:51,875
‪等等，我去拿蕨類植物

1646
01:14:51,958 --> 01:14:52,833
‪-查克
‪-什麼？

1647
01:14:53,166 --> 01:14:55,000
‪你不是要節目不要我們？

1648
01:14:55,208 --> 01:14:57,125
‪就因為我靜靜走進攝影棚

1649
01:14:57,208 --> 01:14:58,666
‪沒說要幹嘛就這麼想？

1650
01:14:58,875 --> 01:14:59,833
‪有點信心好嗎？

1651
01:14:59,916 --> 01:15:01,291
‪我當然要跟你們走

1652
01:15:01,375 --> 01:15:02,750
‪-你要來？
‪-對啊

1653
01:15:02,833 --> 01:15:04,166
‪-你要跟我們走？
‪-對啊

1654
01:15:04,375 --> 01:15:05,208
‪好棒

1655
01:15:05,291 --> 01:15:06,916
‪走吧

1656
01:15:08,541 --> 01:15:09,500
‪卡蘿，妳說得沒錯

1657
01:15:10,333 --> 01:15:11,791
‪好萊塢不適合我們

1658
01:15:12,625 --> 01:15:14,916
‪好萊塢什麼都要河蟹

1659
01:15:15,250 --> 01:15:17,291
‪每個故事都要有快樂結局

1660
01:15:17,625 --> 01:15:19,166
‪我們離開這裡吧

1661
01:15:19,500 --> 01:15:21,541
‪我們一起開車迎向夕陽

1662
01:15:22,625 --> 01:15:24,166
‪因為我只需要朋友

1663
01:15:24,750 --> 01:15:25,625
‪節目

1664
01:15:26,208 --> 01:15:27,125
‪還有蕨類植物

1665
01:15:33,708 --> 01:15:34,916
‪再買就有了

1666
01:15:35,500 --> 01:15:36,541
‪-我開車
‪-好

1667
01:15:43,875 --> 01:15:45,791
‪布萊德利庫…布萊德利靠北

1668
01:15:46,333 --> 01:15:47,833
‪-庫柏
‪-布萊德利庫柏為

1669
01:15:47,916 --> 01:15:50,250
‪《一個巨星的誕生》
‪自編、自製、自導、自演

1670
01:15:50,333 --> 01:15:52,458
‪-我沒看過
‪-你希望這能為其他小白臉

1671
01:15:52,541 --> 01:15:54,000
‪開創機會嗎？

1672
01:15:58,000 --> 01:15:59,333
‪這個問題真好

1673
01:16:02,708 --> 01:16:03,541
‪真對不起

1674
01:16:04,375 --> 01:16:05,333
‪實在很對不起

1675
01:16:05,416 --> 01:16:06,416
‪把這題收回吧

1676
01:16:06,791 --> 01:16:09,458
‪我們邀請一個年輕小姐

1677
01:16:09,541 --> 01:16:11,416
‪年輕女英雌，馬拉拉

1678
01:16:12,291 --> 01:16:13,666
‪上節目

1679
01:16:14,250 --> 01:16:15,166
‪結果…

1680
01:16:15,750 --> 01:16:18,666
‪她舉世聞名，雖然在北美洲不有名

1681
01:16:18,750 --> 01:16:20,625
‪我看你的表情就曉得

1682
01:16:20,708 --> 01:16:22,375
‪你不知道我在講誰

1683
01:16:22,500 --> 01:16:24,208
‪-我知道你在講誰
‪-誰？

1684
01:16:24,500 --> 01:16:25,916
‪你是說亞當卡洛拉嗎？

1685
01:16:30,500 --> 01:16:32,083
‪所以我才有這個表情

1686
01:16:34,250 --> 01:16:35,375
‪如果你沒有口音

1687
01:16:35,458 --> 01:16:38,375
‪你覺得觀眾會知道
‪你不是很好的演員嗎？

1688
01:16:44,541 --> 01:16:45,458
‪請繼續

1689
01:16:46,250 --> 01:16:48,083
‪網路上說妳很重視隱私

1690
01:16:48,166 --> 01:16:50,750
‪拒絕回答讓妳不舒服的問題

1691
01:16:50,833 --> 01:16:52,041
‪我有兩題要問

1692
01:16:52,750 --> 01:16:55,250
‪網路說的對嗎？
‪還有妳第一次月經是幾歲？

1693
01:16:58,500 --> 01:17:00,083
‪你去過DMZ（非軍事區）嗎？

1694
01:17:00,708 --> 01:17:03,375
‪-沒有
‪-TMZ八卦頻道和DMV監理所的綜合

1695
01:17:03,458 --> 01:17:05,375
‪就是一群人

1696
01:17:05,750 --> 01:17:06,916
‪坐著

1697
01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:11,833
‪討論駕照

1698
01:17:14,166 --> 01:17:16,291
‪討論名人的駕照

1699
01:17:17,500 --> 01:17:20,000
‪“天啊，她有賓士”

1700
01:17:22,708 --> 01:17:25,291
‪“詹姆斯法蘭柯戴眼鏡”

1701
01:17:31,083 --> 01:17:33,125
‪-妳以前住在車上
‪-對

1702
01:17:33,250 --> 01:17:35,291
‪住車上真的很好
‪還是有些不好的地方？

1703
01:17:42,000 --> 01:17:44,208
‪你認為你在《樂來越愛你》的演出

1704
01:17:44,541 --> 01:17:45,750
‪真的能協助

1705
01:17:45,833 --> 01:17:48,208
‪白人向黑人解釋爵士樂嗎？

1706
01:17:48,291 --> 01:17:49,250
‪對不起

1707
01:17:53,958 --> 01:17:55,458
‪我把這句刪掉，對不起各位

1708
01:17:55,875 --> 01:17:57,916
‪我們廣告過後回到《誰鳥你啊？》

1709
01:18:01,916 --> 01:18:04,375
‪所以你昨天晚上有看書

1710
01:18:04,458 --> 01:18:06,750
‪很想告訴一群年輕人

1711
01:18:06,833 --> 01:18:08,083
‪你看什麼書嗎？

1712
01:18:09,750 --> 01:18:10,833
‪我真的有看書

1713
01:18:11,708 --> 01:18:12,875
‪我看很多書

1714
01:18:13,041 --> 01:18:15,958
‪你和伍迪哈里遜共同演出時

1715
01:18:16,041 --> 01:18:19,083
‪是不是因為玩沙包輸了而難過？

1716
01:18:24,291 --> 01:18:25,208
‪真好笑

1717
01:18:25,458 --> 01:18:27,041
‪“玩沙包輸了”

1718
01:18:27,541 --> 01:18:29,875
‪《無間警探》的大麻預算是多少？

1719
01:18:34,208 --> 01:18:35,041
‪你…

1720
01:18:35,333 --> 01:18:37,125
‪你今天抽掉很多大麻預算嗎？

1721
01:18:38,541 --> 01:18:39,416
‪靠

1722
01:18:39,666 --> 01:18:41,125
‪妳認識開特斯拉的人嗎？

1723
01:18:44,500 --> 01:18:45,541
‪我有拿到三小獎

1724
01:18:46,625 --> 01:18:47,875
‪-四大獎是什麼？
‪-不知道

1725
01:18:48,083 --> 01:18:50,250
‪喔，四大獎，我真笨

1726
01:18:50,916 --> 01:18:52,583
‪這種東西竟然也存在

1727
01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:53,833
‪你說四大獎？

1728
01:18:54,041 --> 01:18:54,875
‪還是這個節目？

1729
01:18:54,958 --> 01:18:55,791
‪節目啦

1730
01:18:56,083 --> 01:18:58,541
‪我不是在講四大獎，我真的…

1731
01:19:00,416 --> 01:19:02,791
‪我就是在說這個節目

1732
01:19:05,208 --> 01:19:07,000
‪迪士尼頻道有個小孩

1733
01:19:08,250 --> 01:19:09,083
‪查德

1734
01:19:09,500 --> 01:19:10,333
‪屁豪

1735
01:19:10,416 --> 01:19:12,583
‪他有演《少年魔法師》

1736
01:19:17,541 --> 01:19:19,041
‪-你的表情
‪-誰忍得住啊？

1737
01:19:19,125 --> 01:19:20,083
‪-你的表情
‪-對不起

1738
01:19:20,166 --> 01:19:21,375
‪-對不起
‪-都你害的

1739
01:19:21,458 --> 01:19:22,458
‪查德屁…

1740
01:19:24,458 --> 01:19:25,291
‪你有聽到嗎？

1741
01:19:25,875 --> 01:19:26,958
‪我沒聽到聲音

1742
01:19:27,208 --> 01:19:28,708
‪這是大家討論

1743
01:19:28,791 --> 01:19:31,166
‪你演《美麗心計》的聲音

1744
01:19:32,916 --> 01:19:33,875
‪沒人想看

1745
01:19:36,583 --> 01:19:37,541
‪好毒喔

1746
01:19:39,500 --> 01:19:41,250
‪妳父母在妳七歲時離婚

1747
01:19:42,208 --> 01:19:43,166
‪是妳的錯嗎？

1748
01:19:45,833 --> 01:19:46,666
‪大家知道嗎？

1749
01:19:46,750 --> 01:19:50,208
‪竟然有父母用起司名字幫女兒取名

1750
01:19:53,125 --> 01:19:56,041
‪我要再次感謝安公子聖誕老人蒞臨

1751
01:20:00,458 --> 01:20:03,166
‪你演的《廣告狂人》男主角西裝
‪陳列在史密森尼博物館

1752
01:20:03,250 --> 01:20:04,250
‪-沒錯
‪-這是何等榮耀

1753
01:20:04,333 --> 01:20:06,333
‪-對
‪-就在比爾寇斯比的毛衣旁邊？

1754
01:20:17,708 --> 01:20:19,166
‪-好
‪-不好

1755
01:20:19,375 --> 01:20:21,083
‪如果有年輕演員跟你一樣

1756
01:20:21,166 --> 01:20:23,416
‪想隱瞞自己是猶太人
‪你有什麼建議？

1757
01:20:33,500 --> 01:20:35,875
‪你知道猶太男人完全勃起時

1758
01:20:36,333 --> 01:20:39,250
‪如果走向磚牆會怎麼樣嗎？

1759
01:20:40,666 --> 01:20:42,166
‪-怎麼樣？
‪-他會撞斷鼻子

1760
01:20:44,333 --> 01:20:45,625
‪我就知道

1761
01:20:46,958 --> 01:20:48,541
‪明明知道還是笑出來

1762
01:20:48,625 --> 01:20:51,125
‪-這笑話我講過20…
‪-你剛剛想出這個笑話的吧？

1763
01:20:51,750 --> 01:20:53,291
‪你講過這個笑話？

1764
01:21:02,625 --> 01:21:03,500
‪然後…

1765
01:21:04,125 --> 01:21:05,583
‪這就是電影結局吧？

1766
01:21:06,208 --> 01:21:07,375
‪對，卡

1767
01:21:07,666 --> 01:21:10,166
‪謝謝各位，謝謝各位的寶貴時間

1768
01:21:10,458 --> 01:21:11,750
‪謝謝你讓我們拍

1769
01:21:12,458 --> 01:21:15,125
‪我覺得不錯，希望教授能給我A

1770
01:21:15,333 --> 01:21:16,166
‪什麼？

1771
01:21:17,291 --> 01:21:18,916
‪教授？妳在說什麼？

1772
01:21:19,000 --> 01:21:20,500
‪這是學生電影

1773
01:21:20,875 --> 01:21:22,583
‪我念阿帕拉契州立大學

1774
01:21:22,875 --> 01:21:23,958
‪學生電影？

1775
01:21:24,291 --> 01:21:25,791
‪對，我一開始就有講

1776
01:21:26,208 --> 01:21:27,500
‪所以沒人會看到？

1777
01:21:27,750 --> 01:21:29,375
‪我的教授一定會看

1778
01:21:29,666 --> 01:21:30,500
‪還有學生

1779
01:21:31,083 --> 01:21:32,250
‪我班上有12個人

1780
01:21:32,333 --> 01:21:33,500
‪我也會給爸媽看

1781
01:21:35,083 --> 01:21:36,583
‪幹他媽的給我滾出去

1782
01:21:37,250 --> 01:21:38,333
‪你說什麼？

1783
01:21:38,416 --> 01:21:40,333
‪去他媽的給我滾出去

1784
01:21:40,750 --> 01:21:43,708
‪我第一次說“幹”，這次說“去”
‪因為這樣比較有禮貌

1785
01:21:43,791 --> 01:21:45,250
‪但幹他媽的給我滾出去

1786
01:21:46,166 --> 01:21:47,125
‪對不起