¶¶¶
¶ There was a time We had a world to show forever ¶
¶ And any storm out there We'd weather ¶
¶ Just you and I ¶
¶ And then you came And knocked me down ¶
¶ Twist my sentences around ¶
¶ Where on earth Am I supposed to be ¶
¶ I'm all alone ¶
[Jason crying]
¶ I can't believe ¶
[distant crying and music continues]
-Does he always play music when he bathes? -I don't know.
He's a romantic.
I'm a romantic.
-Oh, yeah? -Mm-hmm.
[crying]
Hold on a second. Is he crying?
Nah, he's singing.
-Really? -Yeah.
Kind of sounds like crying.
Nah, it's bad singing.
No, I'm pretty sure that's crying.
I think you underestimate how terrible his voice is.
No, no, no, he's definitely crying.
Maybe? But that's okay though because crying's like his thing. It's like you and yoga.
[crying]
Okay, seriously. What is going on in there?
Okay. You know the ex-wife he's always talking about?
-Yeah. -Yeah. Um, she died.
What?
Yeah, it was a heroin overdose. She was really into drugs. Jason doesn't know that though.
-Oh my God! -Really bad news.
-It's terrible news. -Terrible news.
Poor Jason.
Yeah. Poor guy.
-Oh my God! -I feel really bad for him.
I'm going to go check on him.
Are you-- did you-- Did you finish?
Yeah, it was great. You didn't notice? I'm going to check on Jason.
Just let the man bathe and grieve. His ex-wife died.
[knocking on door]
Hey, Jason.
Hey.
You're fine, right?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Shannon, he's fine!
-Are you sure? -Yes.
If we leave, you're not going to, uh...
-No! -Yeah.
-Okay. Yeah. No. -No.
Silly. I wasn't even going to...
[Shannon] Does he want us to bring him a churro doughnut?
Yeah! No, he'd love one.
Jason, listen.
Like, if you need to, you know, talk about all of this that's going on,
I would find you someone who's qualified,
because I'm completely unqualified.
Okay.
Yeah.
Can you-- close the-- close the...
¶¶¶
Mm-mmm!
[high-pitched voice] "Jippy Peanut Butter. It keeps you hopping."
[music fades]
[panting]
[woman echoing] Jason! Jaaaason...
Return the ring to me.
We will be together in eternity.
[lightning striking]
I will.
[birds chirping]
My turn. Okay. The listing agent at the open house asked me out.
Really? What did he look like?
He was Brazilian.
I can't tell if you're serious.
-Mm-hmm. Yeah. -Brazilian?
-Brazilian. -Your turn.
Well, yesterday at Denny's I was at lunch and the waitress gave me a free dessert.
-That's your big secret? -Yeah, it's been a slow week for me.
I have one more.
Yeah? By all means let's hear it.
[knocking at the door]
-[Jason] Mike? -Yeah.
Is it okay if I take all the apples?
Sure. Yeah. Take all the apples.
Thank you.
Okay, so what's the big secret?
-I'll wait 'til Jason's not at the door. -He's not at the door.
Mike?
Do you have any books on tape?
Yeah, yeah, lots of them.
I can't tell if you're serious.
It's not 1995, Jason. Nobody has books on tape anymore.
You can get it on your phone, though.
Okay. Wait. Jason, what are you doing?
I'm going to Salt Lake City. For Yasmeen's funeral.
-Your ex-wife? -Separated.
She came to me in a dream.
She said "Return the ring to me. We'll be together for eternity. "
[crow singing]
Anyway, we're going to renew our vows before they put her underground,
so we'll be together forever.
It's pretty cool.
I'm pretty sure he needs psychiatric help.
Yeah, I don't think he should go on this road trip.
[Jason going downstairs]
[closing the door]
What's the big secret?
Um...
I'm pregnant.
[loud heartbeats]
That's some big news. That's some big, great news.
I got to call some people.
I'm so happy about this.
So, why'd you decide to join me?
I just think it's really important.
[Jason] Thank you.
We've been driving for, like, twenty minutes.
Forty-five. I have mild scoliosis.
So, I have to stretch.
I have to be limber for when we get to Utah.
Well, the viewing's tomorrow night and then the funeral is Monday,
and then, on Tuesday,
I'm going to try and find an apartment overlooking the cemetery.
Why are you using a paper map? Here, I have an app.
[app] Where are you headed, friend?
Yasmeen and I always used paper maps. It's how we travelled.
Okay, but this is an app that'll make things quicker.
-"Turtle?" -"The road traveled less."
That sounds slow.
So, we are going to make a few stops along the way.
Hit a couple of hot spots.
[Mike] Okay.
You can see the little hearts there.
[cell phone ringing]
You going to get that?
Nah. No. No.
Mike, that's Shannon.
Yeah, yeah. Shannon's calling.
Hey, watch out for the-- um, dead skunk.
Oh.
Not sure how you missed it. Maybe it's the map.
You know this-- this is where we first held hands.
I was driving her to Vegas for a bachelorette party
cause her license was suspended.
I sure miss her.
[cell phone ringing]
So, Jason, you're probably going to notice Shannon calling me off and on. Maybe frequently.
And I'm not going to answer. And you shouldn't worry about it.
I'm not worrying about it. You shouldn't worry about it.
I appreciate that, but she might be in trouble. She's calling a lot.
She is calling me a lot, but you're going through a lot and so for your sake,
for you, I need to not answer this phone.
[cell phone calling]
We're walking on the face of Mars and I still have perfectly clear service out here.
Is it Shannon?
Yeah.
-Everything, okay? -Yeah, things are great.
I think I'm going to break up with her.
Really? Why?
I just feel like it's run its course.
Hmm.
What?
I assumed between the two of you, if anyone would end it, it'd be her.
What?! No.
What?
No, listen, I'm the ultimate ender of things. You know, I end it. Always.
Hmm.
You keep "hmm'ing" me. Why do you keep "hmm'ing" me?
Hmm.
The point is, you know, it's been a solid dose of commitment with her. And
what comes next? Marriage? And a family?
This is a very special place for us.
Right before she left, Yasmeen was really into hide-and-seek.
-Hide-and-seek? -Yeah, she'd run away.
-I'd track her down. She loved it. -Ah.
I'd find her in the most amazing places.
Seaside cliff. Freeway overpass.
The ledge of this parking structure downtown.
So, this game always ended in really high-up places.
Yeah. She liked the view.
This was our room. The King Kamehameha suite.
We didn't get a lot of sleep that night.
-Cause of all the traffic. -Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Got enough.
[Mike] Well, I guess you shouldn't have pre-paid that room.
[Jason] It was going to save me ten bucks a night.
I got to go to the bathroom.
[Mike] And the adventure thickens.
Maybe traffic will be lighter when we're done.
-Is that a nudie? -No.
-That was a Yasmeen nudie on your phone. -[Jason gulps]
Jason, I saw Yasmeen naked on your phone.
No. Did not.
-Let me see it. -No!
Just for the record, she's dead.
There's spousal immunity when it comes to photography.
No, there's not. You're ashamed of her nude form.
Okay.
Oh.
Huh.
She's really just squeezing them together there.
Yeah.
She knew I liked it.
I don't think she liked herself, though.
She liked herself every night.
-Are those bite marks? -What?
You know, I think that's just a rash.
I never bit her.
Holy cow! Those are totally bite marks.
We were together when she took that picture!
I don't understand it. I don't think she would do that.
I don't know why. It doesn't make any sense.
I think the trick in life, Jason, is just not to care about anything.
[woman] Peter. Come here.
You tell Shannon you love her.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but you can tell people all kinds of things as long as you don't mean them.
Pregnancy scare?
No.
Okay. You know, I was in the exact same spot as you a few years ago.
I went back.
Never go back.
-Did you pull a beer out of your pocket? -Yeah. I'm giving it to you.
Pretty soon you're going to be scooping shit out of a six-year old's shorts.
This is your future.
-[woman] What are you doing? -I'm communing with people on the road.
[man] I'm communing with people on the road.
-It's called civility, Deborah! -I don't want it.
Oh, man. Hot, hot.
Oh! Excuse me.
-What? -I said, "Excuse me."
Like, "excuse me" like you want to talk to me,
or "excuse me" I'm sorry for bumping into you, excuse me?
Just excuse me,
like uh, sorry for bumping into you, I didn't want talk, I was just being polite."
Sorry.
I have Asperger's.
Oh. I'm sorry.
It's pretty mild.
Okay.
Shoot.
Ah.
Your eyes are...
-What? -What?
-I didn't say anything... -Please.
-No, I just... -After you.
I just said your eyes are very clear and green.
I don't know if that's a sign of Asperger's.
Or not. I don't think it is.
¶¶¶
[crows singing]
[Mike] So much for things clearing up.
You know, I think the Universe may be calling to you, J.
I think we got to go off the grid.
Where are you headed, friend?
No.
Say it. Not a lot to lose.
Route to Salt Lake City.
-Ambulating. -[music from app]
Ambulating.
All square!
Let's go!
All right. Here we go.
Get along, little doggies. Guhhuh!
[Jason] Please find a way to turn off that music.
[Mike] You know, I don't actually think you can turn it off. It's beta mode.
In one mile, turn left!
Oh, no. Signal lost.
Hey.
Actually, I saw you back at the...
I know.
I'm Mike.
Vaginia.
Virginia?
Vaginia.
Less virgin.
More vag.
-So, what's up there? -Freedom.
Whoa.
Come get some.
[crows singing]
[bumping]
[crickets singing]
[animal agonizing]
[noises]
[sniffing]
Oh!
At least he didn't do too much damage to the car.
Hey, what's in the box?
You think you're ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
-Be very careful. -Okay.
Now, you're going to want to remove the twine.
-Sure, uh... -It's protective twine. Just save that twine, please.
Great. So, now you're going to want to lift the latch.
Okay.
Nice and slow.
Now, my favorite poem is on the top.
Oops.
[suddenly breaking]
[animal noises]
[Jason] Go ahead. Read another one.
"The likes of me and the likes of she. The most beautiful girl you've ever seen.
Never, oh never, shall I ever dissever my soul from the soul of Yasmeen."
I think that's what they call a sonnet.
-You write that? - Yes.
That's some Lord Byron level shit.
I guess it's good you never sent it to her.
-No, I... -That'll be thirty-eight even.
You know, love is a lot like my hand-cured elk jerky. It goes real fast.
I think I'll just take this.
-Oh, were you reaching for the... -Yeah, yeah, I was.
Cactus?
You should try not loving her for a while, bud.
She's dead.
Hmm. Well, shit happens.
-I will be in the car. -Okay.
I like everything you got going on in here with the wisdom and the meats.
And this guy. Can I get this guy too?
Hand-carved by Lakota.
La what?
¶¶¶
Greetings.
Can we help you?
-What does your app say? -What?
TRTL.
Does it say that this is a highway?
How did you...
Are you MMGood69?
This guy, actually.
I have to update the database.
¶¶¶
She's hot, though, right?
Who?
That TRTL girl.
She's like twelve years old. And she has Asperger's.
Yeah, but a lot of people have Asperger's and you can still have sex.
Besides, this is the desert. You can do whatever you want out here.
You could kill her.
What are you talking about?
The point is, just because she Asperger's,
doesn't mean you shouldn't have made a move on her.
I haven't made a move on anyone in about seven years.
Seven years?
Yeah, since Yasmeen.
I mean, women have tried to put moves on me.
Jason?
Sorry! Married.
-Excuse me. -Taken!
Married. Sorry. Married. Sorry. Married.
So, you haven't touched a single girl since Yasmeen left.
No! I haven't even touched myself.
[animal noises]
What would be the point?
If she's not around, it doesn't work.
It'll be a whole different story when I get to Utah.
Hey, I think there's something really wrong with this cat.
[Mike] I think we need to look at it from his perspective.
You know, he's just a cat. Living his cat life.
Doing things that cats are prone to do.
But then one day, he meets a hot young lady cat.
Cat tells him she's just like him. Wants to chill.
Have a lot of cat sex. Hooks him with her cat magic.
Starts feeling things.
But it's a trap.
She doesn't want to just have cat sex. She wants a cat baby.
And then, just out of nowhere, pf!
Run over.
I guess what I'm trying to say is,
sometimes in life it's better to just be put out of your misery
than face your grim reality.
So,
I think we should-- I think we need to put him down.
You do realize that's not a cat, right?
What?
[app] Keep going straight for seven miles. You're on the right path.
In two miles, take a right.
Turn right.
Ambulating.
Oh, no! Signal lost.
Yes, yes. No, no. Other way. Other way.
You know what? I'm just going to go with, that we're not lost. Okay?
We're slightly off the path.
And, really, it's not the app's fault. You know what it is?
It's the fact that your car's made out of the same stuff they make gum wrappers out of
and it's messing with the signal.
[dramatic music]
This doesn't look like a road.
I mean it's very clearly a type of road.
I think it's more like a river bed.
[Mike] You know, it says it's a road.
[Jason] I think it's a wash.
[Mike] Nobody knows what a wash is.
[Jason] Here we go.
[animal agonizing]
That's the biggest rock you could find?
Yeah.
-So just-- drop it on his head, straight down? -Throw it straight down.
-What if I miss? -Then we'll try again.
What if it doesn't kill him?
Then we just knock him out, pop his head under the tire, and then we'll finish it clean.
Here, you're stronger than me.
No. You need to learn the full lesson here.
You ran over him.
You took his little life into your hands, okay? That's responsibility.
-You're scared. -No.
You are scared to kill him.
No, I'm not scared to kill it. You just have a lesson to learn here.
Okay. Then I'll learn it by watching. You do it.
You stand the best chance of doing it in one shot anyway.
Okay, then.
[exhales]
So, I just-- drop it on his head,
straight down?
[making noise]
You know, I think he could pull through.
Yeah.
He could recover.
I think.
Do you ever think about, like,
true love?
You know, I actually keep pictures of all the girls I've been with on my phone.
It's the Lady Library.
I got Niki nudies. Nattie nudies. Judy nudies.
It's all alphabetical.
I keep like
one picture of
one girl on my phone.
Yeah, but you should delete that one.
You ever been cheated on?
No.
Never. I've done a lot of cheating, though.
Did you ever cheat on Shannon?
No.
[Jason] Do you think she left me because of my penis size?
[Mike] I don't know.
[heartbeats]
[distorted voice] I love you.
[distorted voice] Yasmeen.
Oh. Oh. Oh, jeez!
[animal noises]
[car beeping]
What in the world are you doing?
We've gone off the grid.
Disappeared completely.
Shannon hasn't texted me in over twelve hours.
Yeah, the funeral is tomorrow morning.
Do you think my phone is broken?
I've been waiting for six years to find out whether Yasmeen still loves me.
And now, I know. I'm not going to let anything distract me.
-What is that? -It's a trap.
Seems weird she hasn't texted me, though. Right?
No, I don't think it's so weird, considering you guys are broken up
and there's probably plenty of dudes trying to get with her.
You think there's a lot of dudes trying to get with Shannon?
Sure. She's an attractive girl.
I mean, she's no Yasmeen, but she's a solid nine.
Have you ever been outdoors?
I read a survival book, so-- Into the Wild.
That's not a survival book. He doesn't survive.
I saw the movie.
He still dies.
I didn't see the whole movie.
You know, you're not going to be able to charge your phone.
[Jason] This is-- interesting.
[Mike] Well, it is the road traveled less. T-R-T-L.
[Jason] It's like the Goodyear blimp had diarrhea.
What in the world? The tank was only half empty when we parked.
Well, Jason, you got to start looking at these things as being half-full.
Well, now it's just empty.
I don't know.
Is this even a road?
Oh, yeah, I turned the car on last night to charge my phone.
What and you just let the engine run?
I didn't want to kill the battery.
Mike!
Listen, we're never going to get out of here if my phone doesn't have any power.
Well, next time, how about you plug it in when we're actually moving?
It's okay. All right? These tanks are good for another fifty miles
after reading empty. I promise.
There's going to be an oasis somewhere.
What does your phone say?
It's dead again. Fucking grid.
[Mike] Well, the app said there's a lake, right here.
[Jason] We're in a lake.
We followed a wash into a dry lake bed.
This.
This could be a Yasmeen miracle.
-Oh yeah? -Yeah.
Random broken-down car in the desert?
She's giving us a stepping stone so I can get to her.
Hello?
-Oh! -Ah!
-[gulping] -Yeah.
No, I kind of suspected something like this.
I'm trying to breathe through my mouth.
Some Yasmeen miracle, huh?
It's your fault we're following the stupid app and I'm not going to let that stop me.
Okay. I merely suggested the use of the app.
You made the decision to follow my suggestion and that makes you accountable.
Jason, come back here.
You're walking aimlessly in an endless direction. There's no point... Jason!
Jason! You're not even walking in a straight line. You're slowly curving.
I'm devoted, not delusional.
[epic music]
It says this is a road.
It's not.
No shit.
Where's your pal?
You know, the charming one?
[epic music]
[music distorting]
[music ends]
[music box tune]
[screaming]
[thump]
[heartbeats]
[Jason lightly moaning]
Mike?
Jason, how did you even get up here?
We've been looking for you for hours.
Hey, this is Zannah. Remember her? The geographical surveyor?
She's going to take us to a gas station, Jason. It's going to be, okay.
After I finish my rounds.
TRTL uses satellite imagery and it's been mistaking roads for washes a lot lately
and leading people into them. Supposedly.
I mean, clearly, it's doing exactly that.
Jason, I know you warned me on the app. I'm with you now. It was a bad idea.
You look like my grandma after she gets out of the shower.
We're going to miss the viewing tonight, aren't we?
Mm.
It's a wash, guys. It was never a road.
Probably never will be.
Oh. It looks like your buddy's feeling better.
He's gone.
[Zannah screaming]
This wasn't one of those emotional support animals, was it?
Where are you guys headed?
Salt Lake City. So, my friend Jason here can go to the funeral of his ex-wife.
Wife-- we separated-- died.
[Zannah] I go to concerts sometimes.
-You ever been to a Three Doors Down concert? -No.
It sounds weird.
We only have country music out here.
And western.
Sometimes country-western.
One time I wrote a country song.
That's cool. I think.
Yeah. It was after Yasmeen left.
-I got to get out. -Okay.
I'll be back in three minutes.
Okay.
-All right. How are you doing that? -What?
You're warming up her pussy.
What? No!
She clearly wants you in some kind of like a sexual way.
Let's just get to Yasmeen.
I mean, the tension was palpable.
It's not my fault. I told you, women are always coming on to me.
Well, I don't know about that,
but we are in the desert and things are really skewed out here.
Do you think that she thinks that I think I'm flirting with her?
I definitely think that she thinks, you think, you're flirting with her.
And honestly, it's a little disrespectful to the memory of Yasmeen.
I'm not judging you; I'm just saying that. But no judgment.
I'll just tell her I'm not interested.
No, no. No, no, no. Don't do that.
That'll just make her want you more, okay. You need to squash the spark.
Why? Because I'm squashed between your two sets of raging genitalia
and it's very hot in here.
I don't think that's my fault.
It is, though, Jason. It is your fault.
How am I supposed to squash it?
Just sing her one of those songs of yours, all right?
That'll dry up even the most moist of vaginas. Just... [slurps]
You got like a handful of them, don't you?
-Do you have an iPhone charger? -I use a satellite phone.
And I'm always charged up.
So, what brought you into geographical surveying?
I like the outdoors. And I like maps.
I like maps.
I like the bumpy roads, too. Sometimes I make noises on them.
Ahh!
¶ I've been coming here For about a week ¶
¶ Talking to you Is my little treat ¶
¶ Besides the beam You're the only thing I like ¶
¶ About this bar ¶
¶ I know I'm not The most perceptive guy ¶
¶ Sometimes it takes a wink Or a hand on the thigh ¶
¶ For me to even know You know that I'm alive ¶
¶ I don't know If you're being friendly ¶
¶ Or the kiss you blew Means love me tenderly ¶
¶ How am I to know To give a try? ¶
¶ Are you going to love me? ¶
¶ Are you going to leave me? ¶
¶ Or are you going To have to take my keys? ¶
¶ Is it a yes? ¶
¶ Is it a no? ¶
¶ Girl, just give it To me straight up ¶
Yes.
I don't think they're going to have funeral attire here, Mike.
Yeah, well, anything is better than that.
Oh, okay.
Well, I'll try to find something nice.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Try to find something nice. That's what you should be doing.
[Mike] And now we get to go all the way back out to the desert.
What you got there?
Sorry.
What you got there?
Oh, it's Yasmeen's treasure trunk.
Oh.
It has my love inside.
Yeah.
I mean, this is just poems and
mementos and memories from when we were together.
But the most important thing
is this.
Yeah. Wow.
Mike thinks it's crazy, but
she came to me in a dream.
She said, "Return the ring to me.
We'll be together for eternity."
She said that I was the one great love in her life.
-Dang! -Yeah.
You really loved her.
Yeah.
I'm sorry about your ex-wife.
Wife.
Well-- well, she's not alive anymore.
Yes.
I'm sorry you had to drive us around all day.
I'm sorry about the whole raccoon thing.
I'm sorry he attacked you.
I'm sorry that we keep saying sorry so much.
[Jason chuckles]
We are.
It's, like, sorry!
Sorry.
I said it again.
Thank you.
I have to get to a funeral and Mike's probably done taking a dump.
Okay.
-Oh. It's just... -Alright.
Because... Oh!
-Sorry. -Thank you.
Thank you.
[starting the car]
-Where are you at? -[music from app]
Jeez.
Well, that felt good.
You get her number?
No.
Well,
I did.
Says she wants to get coffee, so you know what that means.
Hey, my phone works.
[phone ringing]
What, Mike?
[Mike] I know that from your perspective, it looked like I was running away.
And I was. I was running away at first. But I was going to come right back.
But when I was outside, I see Jason. And I mean, you should have seen him.
How is he?
Well, I mean, you were right, you know.
He definitely needed somebody. He needed me.
No, I didn't.
This is, this is a dumb question, but I was...
While I've been gone helping Jason, you haven't been, like,
you didn't take the opportunity to text other guys, right?
Excuse me?
That was a dumb question. Admittedly. That was a dumb question.
Are you seriously asking me that question right now, Mike?
I've been out in the desert. You wouldn't believe what we've been through.
I wanted to call you right away, but my phone died.
And that TRTL app I told you about. Delete it off your phone. It's not a good app.
-It is a bad app. -You know what, Mike?
It nearly killed us.
I don't even know.
Honestly, I don't... I truly don't expect you to forgive me right away,
but, you know, I'm going to ask you to look deep down, because you know me.
-No, she doesn't. -You know that's not what I would do. That's not who I am.
She doesn't know you at all. She doesn't know. I know who you are.
-I'm sorry, can you-- -I know exactly who you are.
-Hold on a second, Shannon. -[Jason] You're a liar.
[braking car]
I saw your phone.
Okay? I saw the pictures on your phone. I saw the Lady Library.
I saw Yasmeen in the Lady Library.
You knew about the bite marks.
You knew about them the whole time. You probably put them there.
-He knew about the bite marks! -Okay.
-Give me it. -No.
Give me the-- she needs to know. She needs to know!
You had sex with my wife.
Uh...
How could you do that?
I loved her.
She didn't love you.
She didn't, Jason. That's the whole point I've been trying to tell you.
-No. -She was terrible for you.
Get out. Get out. Out.
Get out of the car, right now!
-All right. -Get out!
I'm sorry.
I don't care.
Chickens!
[screaming]
[opening can]
[Vaginia] Oh! Were you bad?
Yeah.
¶¶¶
¶ There was a time ¶
¶ We did everything together ¶
¶ Made our tea for two ¶
-¶ Just you and I ¶ - There're no rules in the desert.
There's no commitment in the desert.
There's no pregnancy in the desert.
What do you say, lost boy? You want to join me in the desert?
¶ Then you came And knocked me down ¶
¶ Twist my sentences around ¶
¶ Where on earth Am I supposed to be ¶
¶ I'm all alone I can't believe ¶
¶ I was the last to know You walked away ¶
[music ends]
[buzzing sound]
[priest] Yasmeen was a member of our community.
To her parents, she was a daughter.
To her siblings, she was a sibling.
To her doctor, she was a patient.
To her bartender, she was a customer.
And to all of us, she was a friend.
Whom we loved dearly.
But that's not to say that she lived an easy existence.
No, Yasmeen endured hardships that many of us have never had to face
in her short time with us.
Unhealthy relationships,
drug addiction,
chlamydia, gonorrhea,
a pregnancy scare.
It was about two years ago when Yasmeen last came to me for guidance.
She hadn't been to church in quite some years
and wasn't sure if she'd be welcomed back.
I told her that with faith, prayer,
repentance and paying her tithing in full,
she'd be welcomed back to the church with open arms.
Sir, may I help you? Sir?
Oh no. Oh, no. Where's the ring?
Oh, shit.
No!
-You forget something? -Mike?
What are you doing here?
I'm bringing you the ring. You forgot it.
Listen, that whole crazy dream from Yasmeen?
I get it.
You should do what it told you to do.
How did you get here?
Zannah. Again.
You should do the thing.
Excuse me.
Who are you?
LeBrawn. I'm her husband.
-What? -Funeral home forgot to put this on her.
No, no, no, no, no. Correction.
Her family never wanted the ring on her finger.
[LeBrawn] She divorced you, Rando.
It's Ramon Antonio Sanchez to you!
-Who the hell are you? -I'm her fiancé.
She's married to me.
You're the one who let her OD.
She wouldn't have turned to drugs if not for all you clingy bitches.
-You killed her! -I didn't kill shit.
Someone get a fire extinguisher!
I got it.
¶¶¶
¶ There was a time ¶
¶ We did everything together ¶
¶ Made our tea for two Just you and I ¶
¶ I'm all alone I can't believe ¶
¶ I was the last to know You walked away ¶
¶ The first to feel the pain ¶
¶ I'm all alone I can't believe ¶
¶ I was the last to know You walked away ¶
-Ahh! -Jason.
-Hey, Zannah. -Hey.
[sobbing] Hey.
Hey.
Mike called me.
He told me what happened, so I drove him down here.
That's like a six-hour drive.
Oh!
-It's fine. -Sorry.
-That's okay. I'm all right. -Sorry.
-I'm going to get out. -It hurt.
-You okay? -I'm okay.
Jason,
you gave a crap about Yasmeen. And
there's not a lot of stuff in life that's truly crap worthy.
Yeah.
And well, I've decided to move to LA.
-Oh, I-- you shouldn't do that on my account. -To be with my dad.
Oh, good. Good.
He has pancreatic cancer.
Oh.
-Yeah. -Hmm.
-Ah. Yeah. -Hmm.
-I know Mike has it, but here's-- oh! -Oh!
That has my phone number, if you ever need anyone to talk to or
get emotional support.
Couch time.
Practice your music.
Frozen yogurt.
I play guitar.
Those all sound really wonderful, but
I'm almost forty, I don't...
Oh, not for, not for sex or stuff like that.
Right.
I thought we were just flirting, right?
Wait, we were flirting?
The tension was palpable.
Anyways, um,
I was kind of hoping we could continue this friendship.
Maybe get some coffee or something when we're both back in LA.
-Wow. -Sir.
Time to go.
Oh. I'm sorry. I have to go with this guy.
Okay.
Call me or shoot me an email,
but I didn't write my email address on that paper.
-I'll text you. -Jason.
Yes?
You know I'm not twelve, right?
Right.
[radio noises]
I've been to worse funerals.
[radio chatter]
[woman] Let them go.
[Jason] Utah cops are way more understanding than I thought they'd be.
Shannon's pregnant.
-What? -Yeah.
With your...
Yeah. Yeah.
-Is that why you... -Mm-hmm.
Uh, she told me and I panicked, and it was a dick move.
I think you'll be a good dad.
I think I may have caught a little bit of scoliosis.
-Probably all that driving around in the car, cooped up. -Yeah.
Sharing germs.
You know, I think I've decided, though.
I'm going to touch myself again.
Hey, all right.
Right now?
Honestly, though, do you think I have a chance of pulling this off?
Probably a better one than I did with Yasmeen.
It's going to be awkward up front, though. She's going to be mad.
Yeah, kind of has a right to be mad.
But you know what? I'm just going to start talking. I'm going to do it honestly.
Good.
I'm going to do it.
-Okay. -Alright.
Alright.
Also, I am sorry I blew up Yasmeen's corpse.
I did make sure they got the finger back.
Okay. Doing it.
-Okay. -I'll see you.
All right. Good luck!
[Mike] Thank you.
[Jason] See you home.
Probably going to have make-up sex.
Easy.
¶¶¶
¶ There was a time ¶
¶ We did everything together ¶
¶ Made our tea for two Just you and I ¶
¶ There was a time ¶
¶ We had a world To show forever ¶
¶ Any storm out there We'd weather ¶
¶ Just you and I ¶
¶ Then you came And knocked me down ¶
¶ Twist my sentences around ¶
¶ Where on earth am I Supposed to be ¶
¶ I'm all alone I can't believe ¶
¶ I was the last to know You walked away ¶
¶ First to feel the pain I'm all alone ¶
¶ I can't believe ¶
¶ I was the last to know You walked away ¶
¶ The first to feel the pain I'm all alone ¶
¶ In my mind, I'm still Swimming in the memories ¶
¶ Reaching out For all that could be ¶
¶ Just you and I ¶
¶ Still you come And knock me down ¶
¶ Lost all hope And never found ¶
¶ Where on earth Am I supposed to be ¶
¶ I'm all alone I can't believe ¶
¶ I was the last to know You walked away ¶
¶ The first to feel the pain I'm all alone ¶
¶ I can't believe ¶
¶ I was the last to know You walked away ¶
¶ The first to feel the pain ¶
¶ I'm all alone ¶
¶ I can't believe ¶
¶ I'm all alone ¶
¶ I can't believe ¶
¶ I'm all alone ¶
¶ I can't believe ¶
¶¶¶
[music ends]