1 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:43,501 Everyone's heard of the city that never sleeps. 2 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,046 What about the mothers who never sleep 3 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:50,175 because their boys move to the city and never call? 4 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:55,263 This is a story about three such mothers and their three sons. 5 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:57,348 Stop the cab! 6 00:00:58,641 --> 00:00:59,476 Look where we are. 7 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,436 You guys are such profound assholes. 8 00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:04,564 -It's time, Daniel. -All right, I know. I'm still deciding. 9 00:01:04,647 --> 00:01:06,941 -You decided, you got a ring. -Yes. 10 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,526 -You're getting engaged! -Yes. 11 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,111 -Right now? -Isn't that fantastic? 12 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:13,907 I'm not asking Erin to marry me tonight, drunk with girls in the car. No offense. 13 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:17,035 -I mean, no, we're going to Matt's. -D, I love you, but get out. 14 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,496 -Come on. -Bye. 15 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,413 Come on. 16 00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:21,831 Look... 17 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,542 You are happy with Erin. 18 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,295 Like, happier than I've seen you since... 19 00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:29,130 sixth grade. 20 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,300 You said you'd have your first novel finished by the end of the year, 21 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:33,927 three ends-of-the-years ago. 22 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,929 -Horrible pep talk. -These are the facts. 23 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:39,390 -She's hot. I'm gonna do it if you don't. -That's a better pep talk. 24 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:40,642 -Erin! -All right. 25 00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:42,352 Baby! Erin! 26 00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:44,145 This, by the way, 27 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,856 -is why we don't all hang out anymore. -Listen to me, okay? 28 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,608 This will be romantic. 29 00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:51,653 This is the story that she's gonna tell your kids. 30 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:55,573 She's gonna say, "That's the night that he stormed up the stairs, 31 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,617 and got down on one knee..." 32 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:00,662 and you asked if she would marry you. 33 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,873 That is novel material. 34 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,166 Novel material. 35 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:06,709 Ah, yeah. 36 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,254 It would be a pretty great story. 37 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,884 We were there for every big life event, 38 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:18,429 and now we're lucky if we hear about anything at all. 39 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:30,692 Erin! 40 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,403 Daniel? 41 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,073 What the fuck? 42 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,244 There's a lot you don't know as mothers. 43 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,329 In fact, that's what bonded us 44 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,124 when the boys' friendship launched our friendship 45 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,835 on a playground in Poughkeepsie. 46 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,475 We've been through so much together. 47 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,311 Graduations, proms, 48 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:09,147 skinned knees, emergency room visits, 49 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:12,400 family vacations, bad days, bad jobs, 50 00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:15,987 and at every scary and unfamiliar stage, 51 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:19,240 the answer was always "friends". 52 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:24,913 That's Gillian. 53 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,915 She still has kids in the house, 54 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:28,833 they're just not hers. 55 00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,835 Why are you teaching today? 56 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:33,713 It's just one lesson. 57 00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,924 He wants to play this later for his mother. 58 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,258 He still likes her. 59 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,968 Daniel texted you already. 60 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,472 Nothing says "I don't want to talk to you" like a text. 61 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,307 He said he misses us. 62 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,350 That's nice. 63 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,352 It's a lie. 64 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,229 But it's a nice lie. 65 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,860 And that's Helen. 66 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,612 She never ages. 67 00:03:58,279 --> 00:03:59,739 At least, not publicly. 68 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,536 Frank, I have to run a few errands before I go to Carol's. 69 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:09,332 Would you tell her I could sell her house tomorrow if she'd give me the listing? 70 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:12,126 Are you spray-painting the top of your head again? 71 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,587 I'm tall enough, so no one even sees it. 72 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,172 Unless you're sitting. 73 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,675 Carol talks a good game, Frank, 74 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,135 but she will never sell that house. 75 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,054 You'd have to sell it with her in it. 76 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:27,934 The three of us don't see each other as often as we used to. 77 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,394 The boys are gone, 78 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,479 husbands have come and gone, 79 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:34,941 but one tradition remains. 80 00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:39,320 -Oh, I'm so glad we're still doing this! -Happy Mother's Day! 81 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:42,323 Without husbands and kids, it might actually be fun. 82 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:43,908 I brought donuts. 83 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,869 I brought bourbon. 84 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,706 Like I'm really gonna drink a mimosa? It's Mother's Day. 85 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,207 I knew I should have Ubered. 86 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,503 Guys, I think the guy at the liquor store was flirting with me. 87 00:04:55,586 --> 00:04:58,756 Oh, I can't remember the last time someone flirted with me. 88 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,342 I bet it happens all the time. You're not flirting back. 89 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,511 Why do you flirt back? You're married. 90 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,680 My marriage isn't as perfect as yours, Gillian. 91 00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,891 Besides, flirting isn't cheating. It's a pick-me-up for your ego. 92 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:12,437 -It keeps you in shape, sexually speaking. -Oh, so it's sexercise. 93 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,522 Yes, women should sexercise daily. 94 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:17,442 Terrific, another thing that I'm not doing. 95 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,862 Come on, there's nothing you're not doing. 96 00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,613 Look at this spread. 97 00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:24,782 And you're always volunteering. 98 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:28,494 Oh, please, I teach art in a retirement home two days a week. 99 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,121 I'm hardly Mother Teresa. 100 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,248 And look at your house, it's spotless. 101 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,916 A key to a clean house? 102 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,418 Dead husband. 103 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,672 Oh, God, that came out much darker than I intended. 104 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,175 No, that's a great household tip. 105 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,512 What is with these flowers? 106 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,515 Come on, they get bigger every year. Did Matt send these? 107 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,684 Yes, delivered this morning. 108 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,520 Matty is the perfect son, he never forgets. 109 00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:55,980 Is he dating anyone? 110 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,398 He doesn't have time. 111 00:05:57,482 --> 00:06:00,318 He's helping to launch some new sports magazine. 112 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:03,363 So he just works, works out, and sleeps, so he says. 113 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,115 Paul is the same way, he never mentions dating anyone. 114 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,619 God, I wish Daniel would date someone other than that Erin. 115 00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:12,622 She's not good enough for him. I told him that. 116 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,207 And how did that go? 117 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,334 He unfriended me. 118 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,253 See? Now, that's why I'm not on Facebook. 119 00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,716 -Remember how cute they were? -Remember how cute we were? 120 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,385 When did I turn 50? 121 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:29,097 Oh, several years after I did, so shut up and enjoy your youth. 122 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,682 I love that with us, we don't have to lie about our age. 123 00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,435 I love with us, we don't have to lie about anything. 124 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,314 Look, I've just I just polished off a whole donut in front of you two. 125 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,775 I didn't even pretend to only want half. 126 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,443 Come on, that's friendship. 127 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,487 You are so right. 128 00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,910 I sent myself the flowers. 129 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,793 Been doing it for a while now. 130 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:02,004 And each year, it gets more and more depressing, 131 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,881 so I get bigger and bigger flowers. 132 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:06,759 Well... 133 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,720 But you don't include a note, do you? 134 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:11,431 No! 135 00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,266 I would not write my own... 136 00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:15,351 Yes. 137 00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:18,354 What did the note say this year? 138 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,274 You are the best mother ever. 139 00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:22,483 Yes. 140 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,734 Well, you are. 141 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,736 What son forgets Mother's Day? 142 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,448 Well, what kind of son sends a Mother's Day text? 143 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:29,907 Pass the bourbon. 144 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,619 Come on, lazy! Buy me some bath salts. Is that so difficult? 145 00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:37,457 -A candle, a frame, something. -I should've sent myself flowers. 146 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:38,374 It's brilliant. 147 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,585 Daniel can't call me from Long Island City? 148 00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:42,879 God, I have a girl for him to meet. 149 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,173 The little jerk won't even call me back. 150 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,341 Paul stopped caring when I married Frank. 151 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,886 Matt hasn't been home since Finn's funeral. 152 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,596 And he barely came home for that. 153 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:54,015 Stayed 16 hours, and he wore sneakers. 154 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,184 They were nice ones. They were Gucci. 155 00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,520 What did we do wrong? 156 00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,773 We did everything right. That's what we did wrong. 157 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:07,153 I mean, we raised our children to be free-thinking, independent beings, 158 00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:09,447 and now, they just... they don't need us anymore. 159 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:12,074 Well, they're gonna need us again when they have kids, 160 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:15,286 -when we're grandmothers. -I don't want to be a grandmother, but... 161 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,455 I would like one Mother's Day card. 162 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,208 Motherhood. 163 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:24,337 That sinking feeling that, as your child's growing up, 164 00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:28,216 that you're being broken up with, on a gradual but daily basis. 165 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,093 It's inhumane emotional waterboarding. 166 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:35,348 That is the best description of motherhood I have ever heard. 167 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:38,935 Well, at this stage, it doesn't feel like motherhood, 168 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,269 it feels like "otherhood." 169 00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,480 Oh, my God, you're so right. 170 00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,315 I don't want to be an "other." 171 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:46,943 Me neither. But what are we gonna do? 172 00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:49,779 Drive to Manhattan, storm their apartments? 173 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,073 No, we've got to respect their space, 174 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,367 let them individuate, 175 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,369 blah, blah, blah. 176 00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:58,538 Except... 177 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:01,165 it's fucking Mother's Day. 178 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,301 -Come on, Carol, we're doing this! -Vámonos. 179 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,137 Let's go. 180 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,058 All set. 181 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:20,560 See you! 182 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,353 I need some grown-up luggage. 183 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,730 This is my good luck bag from Guatemala. 184 00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:25,940 Here we go! 185 00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:49,797 Walk on boots. 186 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,965 Hear us, boys? 187 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,259 We should go on America's Got Talent. 188 00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:59,390 What was wrong with the old bridge? 189 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,353 She was sagging... 190 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,105 a little. 191 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,795 I think the bourbon just wore off. 192 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:31,797 Have we really thought this through? 193 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,633 What if the boys don't want to see us? 194 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,302 "Mother" is not just a noun, it's a verb. 195 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,262 It requires action. 196 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:39,847 I read that some place. 197 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,475 -Well, I teach on Tuesday. -Just call in sick. 198 00:10:42,558 --> 00:10:45,186 That's what I did for the first time in... ever. 199 00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:47,146 I brought five clean pairs of underwear. 200 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:49,523 Hey, I might be sick all week. 201 00:10:50,232 --> 00:10:51,275 All week? 202 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,110 Well, how long are we staying? 203 00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,029 Until we feel like mothers again. 204 00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,490 Why can't we feel like mothers from a hotel room? 205 00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,367 Now, that is a valid question. 206 00:10:59,450 --> 00:11:02,453 Because we're not on vacation, we are on a mission. 207 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:05,164 They can deal with having us in their homes for a few days. 208 00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,291 They were in ours for 18 years. 209 00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,253 You got this, champ! 210 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,214 Go in and call us when you're in! 211 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:15,800 -Gillian, I can't do this, I can't! -Oh, you'll be fine. 212 00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:17,385 -It's gonna be really great. -No. 213 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,970 You're going to live out this day. You are. 214 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,597 Don't take no for an answer. 215 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,057 Make him love you! 216 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,976 Helen! Gillian! Wait! 217 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:34,944 Yeah. 218 00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:37,071 Hi, I just happened to be in the neighbor-- 219 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,074 I'm downstairs. It's your mo-- 220 00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,137 Mom. 221 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:05,141 -What are you-- -I was just missing you today. 222 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,810 Shit, it's Mother's Day. 223 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,229 -Is it? -I was gonna call. 224 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:11,272 Can I come in? 225 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,774 Yeah. Of course. Please. 226 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:14,692 Please. 227 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,739 I sent the elevator. 228 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,741 It's just five floors. 229 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,369 Well, can I get you something? 230 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,663 Well, you didn't even hug me. 231 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:29,749 I... 232 00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,334 You caught me off guard. 233 00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:37,923 Happy Mother's Day, Mom. 234 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:40,968 -Let's just sit. -Yeah. 235 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,013 Let's just put this over here. 236 00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:45,431 That's gone. 237 00:12:45,514 --> 00:12:47,475 Good, let me just set that up. 238 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,146 Just... 239 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:54,607 That's not even... 240 00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:08,120 I've been thinking about our relationship, 241 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,080 and I... 242 00:13:13,542 --> 00:13:15,002 I don't think we have one. 243 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:16,962 What? Mom. 244 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,340 Mom, you are my mom. 245 00:13:19,423 --> 00:13:20,758 How could we not have one? 246 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,092 What's my favorite flower? 247 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,262 We have a relationship. 248 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,097 Then tell me something about me. 249 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:30,100 Okay, there are a thousand things that I know about you. 250 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,352 Irises. 251 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,063 I knew that. 252 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,943 I want to stay for a few days. 253 00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,612 What? No. Mom. I mean, why? 254 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:44,573 Because you still live like a 15-year old, sweetheart. 255 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,699 I mean, look! 256 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,451 Look at this mess. 257 00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:52,122 I'll clean while you think of ten things that you honestly know about me. 258 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,332 Okay, Mom. Ten? 259 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,168 It's gonna take days to get this in shape. 260 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,254 Mom, I have a woman for that. 261 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:01,340 Well, how often does she come? Biannually? 262 00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:51,891 Hey, it's Daniel Lieberman. 263 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,934 I'm guessing you know what to do. 264 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,113 Oh, gosh. 265 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:09,491 Did you get in? 266 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,409 Yeah. 267 00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:11,619 I got in. 268 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:13,454 Tell me something. 269 00:15:13,829 --> 00:15:15,456 Does Paul have drapes? 270 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:20,210 Matt has 75 pairs of brand new sneakers, but no drapes. 271 00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:22,755 Yes, Paul has drapes. 272 00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:24,340 Listen... 273 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,093 Would you mind if I called you back tomorrow? 274 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:29,803 Oh, yeah, sure. Sorry. 275 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,221 Enjoy! 276 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,515 Okay. Yeah, I will. Goodnight, honey. 277 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:42,775 Just stop. 278 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,530 I'm a coward. Okay. 279 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,448 Hey! 280 00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:50,741 Hey. 281 00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:51,659 Thank you. 282 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:53,285 How's it going with Paul? 283 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,203 Good. 284 00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:57,581 Paul has been very gracious. 285 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,084 He just poured me a drink. 286 00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:02,169 Well, how's it going with Daniel? 287 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:04,129 I'm gonna go by in the morning. 288 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:07,758 Daniel's not answering the phone. I think he's got that caller ID thing. 289 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,970 But I'll tell you this, Long Island City is the place to go 290 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,596 if you want to be stabbed. 291 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:15,724 'Cause I was terrified to get out of my car. 292 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:20,020 Hey, have you heard of this place, the Hudson Hotel? 293 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:21,981 It's where Joel got the best rate. 294 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,857 Oh, yeah. It's supposed to be cool. 295 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:25,109 It's really cool. 296 00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:27,820 I mean, it's more like a club than a hotel. 297 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:32,408 The bellboys are gorgeous. 298 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,035 Gillian, you scamp. 299 00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:39,581 I'm gonna ambush Daniel when it's light. 300 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,000 Listen... 301 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,003 It is okay that you decided to wait. 302 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:46,630 It's a difficult thing to do. 303 00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,757 I don't blame you. 304 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:50,884 Actually... 305 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:52,553 I've... 306 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,265 -I... - Oh, hey. 307 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:58,267 Can you tell Paul that I say hi? 308 00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:01,520 Gillian says hello. 309 00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:03,939 Paul says hello back. 310 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,400 -Well, all right, sweet dreams. -Okay. 311 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:07,401 Night, hun. 312 00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:08,527 Good night. 313 00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,725 I found some sausages in your freezer. 314 00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:43,520 Took the skillet I gave you for college graduation out of the box. 315 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,148 Well, I don't eat breakfast. 316 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,358 You used to eat breakfast. 317 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,402 "Most important meal of the day." 318 00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,154 Yeah, according to Dad, 319 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:54,198 and whoever said it originally. 320 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:57,034 Probably someone involved in the cereal business. 321 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:02,790 I need to get dressed and get to work. 322 00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,792 Oh, well, don't let me stop you. 323 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,462 Those banana pancakes? 324 00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,342 Well, I guess... one... 325 00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:14,927 wouldn't kill me. 326 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,481 -It's after eight. You're late. -Hi... 327 00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:30,025 Touch anything on my desk, you're fired. Understand? 328 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,819 -I'm here to see Paul. -He'll pay you. 329 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:32,945 Andre! 330 00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,279 -Don't mess up. -Okay. 331 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,790 Hi. 332 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:45,874 Hi. 333 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,501 You're the new housekeeper. 334 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,295 I'm Paul's mother. 335 00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,009 -I'm Helen. -Right, yeah, sorry. 336 00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,261 -Hi, I'm Andre. -Hi. 337 00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,512 Nice to meet you. 338 00:18:58,595 --> 00:18:59,429 Are you... 339 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:01,306 Are you... are you Paul's boyfriend? 340 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,352 I'll see if he's dressed. 341 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:07,146 I just made coffee. 342 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,606 -I'd love some coffee. -Please. Please, join me. 343 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,406 Paul never officially came out to me, you know. 344 00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:19,491 -So... -Did you ever ask? 345 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,495 It wasn't my place to ask. It was his place to tell. 346 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:28,792 I'm sure at some point he knew I knew, but we never, you know, talked about it. 347 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,962 Well, my parents are visually deaf. I mean... 348 00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:32,880 hello. 349 00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:35,799 What do you do, Andre? 350 00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:38,218 As little as I can get away with. 351 00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,597 He never alters his pattern. 352 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,975 I can tell by the creeks in the floor when he's about to come downstairs. 353 00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:48,187 Oh, my God, I owe you a blow job. 354 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,189 -Your mother. -Your mother. 355 00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:51,690 Surprise! 356 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,776 Hey, Mom! 357 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:56,361 Boo! 358 00:19:57,404 --> 00:20:00,532 I know it doesn't make any sense for me to try to maintain that house. 359 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,534 It's in constant need of repairs, 360 00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:05,579 and no one's even been in the pool since your father died. 361 00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:06,496 So, just sell it. 362 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,665 -But we've been there for 20 years. -I haven't. 363 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:11,543 He didn't want me to be alone, and I don't want to be, but... 364 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,170 the mattress... 365 00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:16,298 it sags where your father slept. 366 00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:20,385 And I keep thinking, you know, maybe I should just buy a new one. 367 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,012 But if I did that, then... 368 00:20:23,138 --> 00:20:26,099 the mattress wouldn't sag where your father slept. 369 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:40,113 Well, that's a nice greeting for your mother. 370 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,116 What's a nice greeting? I didn't say anything. 371 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,535 That's what I'm talking about. 372 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,998 -Are you and Dad fighting or something? -I came to see if you were okay. 373 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,084 I'm fantastic. 374 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,461 You want a screwdriver or something? 375 00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:56,296 Are you trying to make me cry? 376 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,258 Can you not threaten me with feelings, Ma? Don't worry about me. 377 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,969 Your life is your life and mine is mine. 378 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,721 That's the stupidest thing I've heard. 379 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:07,599 If everyone was here for themselves, life would be pointless. 380 00:21:08,016 --> 00:21:09,309 Life is pointless. 381 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:11,436 Children give your life meaning. 382 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,814 You are the point of my life, Daniel. 383 00:21:13,897 --> 00:21:16,066 Please don't make me question my existence. 384 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:18,193 Oh, my God, Ma, what are you doing here? 385 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,028 Really? That's where we are? 386 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,072 I drive for hours and hours, 387 00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:24,574 the first thing you say is, "What are you doing here?" 388 00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,160 It wasn't the first thing I said, it was the last thing. 389 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:30,414 Okay. I'll go. If you don't want me, I'll go. 390 00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:32,791 -I'll get my bag. -I'm not saying I don't want you, 391 00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:35,752 I'm wondering why you didn't call me to tell me you were coming. 392 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:39,715 You didn't call me on Mother's Day, I'm not holding that against you. 393 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,008 I texted you. 394 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,217 I birthed you. 395 00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:44,594 Anyway, it's not why I'm here. 396 00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,930 I found you a nice Jewish girl. 397 00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,473 You weren't even Jewish. 398 00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:50,475 I converted, for you. 399 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,352 Okay, you converted for Dad. 400 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,896 Yes, so we could raise our kids as Jews. 401 00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:56,815 So, stop dating the shiksas. 402 00:21:58,734 --> 00:21:59,985 Are you talking about Erin? 403 00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:02,195 Erin. What kind of name is that? 404 00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:04,281 It's like the leftovers of a Scrabble hand. 405 00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,783 That's a character flaw now, her name? 406 00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,952 You met her once. You barely even spoke to her. 407 00:22:09,036 --> 00:22:12,080 -You never even gave her a chance. -I saw her social media. 408 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,915 A lot of margarita nights. 409 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,917 -She's a drinker. -I'm a drinker. 410 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:19,046 You're a thinker. You use alcohol as a coping mechanism. 411 00:22:19,546 --> 00:22:21,673 That's the definition of alcoholism. 412 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:23,759 You're an intellectual, she's a hairdresser. 413 00:22:24,092 --> 00:22:25,677 Hairstylist. And so what? 414 00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:29,181 So, let her style your hair, but don't procreate with her. 415 00:22:29,264 --> 00:22:31,767 That is so classist and offensive. 416 00:22:31,850 --> 00:22:34,561 And it's over, so why don't you just move on, okay? 417 00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:35,729 I have. 418 00:22:36,646 --> 00:22:38,690 Remember the Brimers? 419 00:22:39,649 --> 00:22:41,318 -Ivan and Joan. -No. 420 00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:43,779 On the corner. They had that horrible little Shih Tzu 421 00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:46,239 -that bit you when you were six. -I remember the dog. 422 00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:49,951 Well, Joan's sister has a nephew by marriage in Yonkers, 423 00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:53,580 and he gave me this number of this brilliant woman from his temple. 424 00:22:53,663 --> 00:22:58,085 She's just been through a painful divorce, which apparently was not her fault at all. 425 00:22:58,168 --> 00:22:59,419 Okay, good to know. 426 00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:01,421 And she is a beautiful person. 427 00:23:01,755 --> 00:23:04,049 -She's friends with his wife. -Oh, my God, Ma, 428 00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:07,594 -you've never even met her, have you? -I saw her social media. 429 00:23:07,677 --> 00:23:09,554 She is smart. 430 00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:10,972 She did a beach clean-up. 431 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,558 She's starting to think about dating again. 432 00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:15,310 We got to get in there fast. 433 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,603 When I reached out to her, 434 00:23:16,686 --> 00:23:18,939 I told her you were nearby and in a similar boat. 435 00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:21,858 -She said she'd love to hear from you. -Why have you done this? 436 00:23:22,275 --> 00:23:24,027 Her name is Alison. 437 00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:27,489 She graduated from Brown, she has a political science degree, 438 00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:29,074 she does something in television. 439 00:23:29,157 --> 00:23:30,367 Let me get this straight. 440 00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:32,369 You want me to go on a date with this woman 441 00:23:32,452 --> 00:23:36,289 based on the fact that she attends temple with some guy in Yonkers 442 00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:39,751 who's somehow related to the woman whose dog bit me when I was a kid. 443 00:23:39,835 --> 00:23:42,129 You can't hold that horrible dog against her. 444 00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:44,214 I'm not talking about the dog, Ma. 445 00:23:45,006 --> 00:23:46,508 I'm talking about your insanity. 446 00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:48,844 Good shot. 447 00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:51,346 Have you had a date since you've lived here? 448 00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:53,515 I don't think this apartment is helping at all. 449 00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:57,352 -It's like you're living in Gollum's cave. -Okay, Ma, thanks for the dating advice. 450 00:23:57,436 --> 00:23:59,438 Please, just leave it. Please. 451 00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:02,482 I'm not leaving New York until you call her. 452 00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:05,444 You can't force me to go on a date with someone. 453 00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:08,113 I call it prodding, a gentle little nudge. 454 00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:10,782 Okay, I'll be back at supper time. 455 00:24:11,158 --> 00:24:13,118 I need my Mace and my keys. 456 00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:16,746 I'll be back... alive. Hopefully. 457 00:24:25,046 --> 00:24:26,173 Hi, is this Alison? 458 00:24:26,673 --> 00:24:27,799 It's... 459 00:24:28,383 --> 00:24:29,801 Daniel Lieberman. 460 00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:32,762 My mom said I should call you. 461 00:24:33,763 --> 00:24:35,891 So, Paul lives with his... 462 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,602 -Andre? -Yes, and some other people. 463 00:24:38,685 --> 00:24:41,146 It's kind of great. It's sort of a group home for gays. 464 00:24:41,229 --> 00:24:43,565 There's an older Wall Street guy that owns the place 465 00:24:43,648 --> 00:24:45,901 and a tiny man who is very abrupt. 466 00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:48,820 I told Andre I was gonna cook for the whole gang tonight. 467 00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:49,988 You? Cooking? 468 00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:52,991 That's more shocking than your son coming out. 469 00:24:53,074 --> 00:24:56,077 Well, apparently, he's been completely out to everybody but me. 470 00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:58,955 -Oh, honey, he just assumed you knew. -I did know. 471 00:24:59,039 --> 00:25:00,749 -Well, we all knew. -No, I didn't. 472 00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:02,584 Why am I the last to get the memo? 473 00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:04,461 You're not. Larry is. 474 00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:07,589 He had one foot out of the door by the time Paul was in high school. 475 00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:10,050 So, I thought, I'm gonna let him find out by himself. 476 00:25:10,133 --> 00:25:14,262 You know, his only son. It's gonna drive that closed-minded lying dickhead crazy. 477 00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:17,516 Oh, Larry. Can we talk about something else? 478 00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:19,809 Absolutely. How's Daniel? 479 00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:24,064 It's worse than I imagined. That's never happened to me before. 480 00:25:24,147 --> 00:25:25,774 I under-worry. 481 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,735 Well, all the more reason for you to leave your hotel 482 00:25:28,818 --> 00:25:31,488 and move in like Helen and I did. 483 00:25:31,571 --> 00:25:33,532 Yeah, I'm in a hotel, too. 484 00:25:33,823 --> 00:25:35,075 What? 485 00:25:35,158 --> 00:25:38,870 Yes, I know what I said, but, you know, Paul's got his plate full 486 00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:41,373 and doesn't need a house guest on top of it, you know? 487 00:25:41,456 --> 00:25:43,792 So, he forgot Mother's Day. Big deal. 488 00:25:43,875 --> 00:25:44,834 -Big deal? -Yeah. 489 00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:47,337 What? You got me drunk and made me come here. 490 00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:48,505 But seriously... 491 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,424 how do you live in this town and forget Mother's Day? 492 00:25:51,508 --> 00:25:54,594 Look. Mother, mom, mama, Mutter, madre, maman. 493 00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:57,180 This is Joseph. 494 00:25:57,889 --> 00:25:59,641 Look at these cute bags. Let's go in. 495 00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:03,019 No. Paul does Joseph. He did these windows. 496 00:26:05,564 --> 00:26:08,024 I am so moving in with that fucker. 497 00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:14,906 Hi. 498 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,158 Are you the famous writer? 499 00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,953 Either my mom exaggerated, or you're meeting someone else. 500 00:26:20,036 --> 00:26:22,205 -I'm Alison. -Daniel. 501 00:26:22,289 --> 00:26:23,456 -Hello. -Hi. 502 00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:26,126 You write for The New Yorker, that's pretty famous. 503 00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:27,711 I don't write for The New Yorker. 504 00:26:27,794 --> 00:26:30,380 I thought your mom said you did write for The New Yorker. 505 00:26:30,463 --> 00:26:34,384 The New Yorker published one short story of mine four years ago, which... 506 00:26:35,302 --> 00:26:38,221 resulted in a very small book deal, but as of yet, no book. 507 00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:39,639 The rest of my work, 508 00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:42,726 if you can call it that, is in literary journals no one's heard of. 509 00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,853 -I might have heard of them. -No, you haven't. 510 00:26:44,936 --> 00:26:46,062 Come on, tell me. 511 00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:49,316 -The Willacoochee River Journal. -No. 512 00:26:49,399 --> 00:26:50,609 I know, it's funny, right? 513 00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:53,403 -You're making that up. -I wish I could make that up. 514 00:26:53,486 --> 00:26:56,072 Sadly, that is non-fiction. That is my life. 515 00:26:56,740 --> 00:26:58,116 My mom should talk less. 516 00:26:58,199 --> 00:27:01,411 Yeah, but if your mom talked less, we wouldn't be here right now, so... 517 00:27:01,494 --> 00:27:03,622 you know, thank God for your mother, right? 518 00:27:06,583 --> 00:27:07,459 Daniel! 519 00:27:08,501 --> 00:27:10,712 If you're there and you're pretending you're not, 520 00:27:10,795 --> 00:27:12,380 I'm never talking to you again. 521 00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,257 Or maybe that's what you want. 522 00:27:14,424 --> 00:27:15,342 Daniel! 523 00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:18,720 What? 524 00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:22,223 Oh, God, this is totally unsafe. 525 00:27:24,225 --> 00:27:25,560 Oh, come on. 526 00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:26,811 Open? 527 00:27:34,861 --> 00:27:36,321 Come on, old girl. 528 00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:38,073 You still got it. 529 00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:39,699 Okay. 530 00:27:45,580 --> 00:27:46,748 Mice! 531 00:27:47,832 --> 00:27:49,334 So, you lived in New York? 532 00:27:49,417 --> 00:27:50,585 Did I ever. 533 00:27:51,127 --> 00:27:54,381 I worked in fashion at the time. I met Paul's father at Studio 54. 534 00:27:54,798 --> 00:27:55,799 -No. -Yeah. 535 00:27:55,882 --> 00:27:57,050 Fabulous. 536 00:27:57,258 --> 00:27:59,803 Yes, and ridiculous. You're supposed to have sex 537 00:27:59,886 --> 00:28:02,764 with people you meet there, do drugs with them, not marry them. 538 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:05,934 I think Larry fell in love with me for my looks 539 00:28:06,017 --> 00:28:08,520 and just tolerated me for everything else. 540 00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:11,523 Does that sound terribly vain? 541 00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:15,193 Look who you're talking to. I'm window dressing for a window dresser. 542 00:28:16,903 --> 00:28:18,446 But you two are happy? 543 00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:20,657 Yeah. 544 00:28:22,992 --> 00:28:25,203 He says he'd like me to be older or flabbier 545 00:28:25,286 --> 00:28:26,538 so when he leaves for work, 546 00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:29,207 he won't have to wonder if I'll be here when he gets home. 547 00:28:33,086 --> 00:28:35,422 Since when is Paul so insecure? 548 00:28:38,007 --> 00:28:39,759 -He gets that from you. -Yeah. 549 00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:44,389 You were... 550 00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:47,267 You were preoccupied 551 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,729 between husbands, dating, hosting charity events. 552 00:28:51,646 --> 00:28:52,647 I mean, look... 553 00:28:53,356 --> 00:28:55,066 You were hurt after the divorce. 554 00:28:55,942 --> 00:28:58,319 Right? Lost? I get that. 555 00:28:59,696 --> 00:29:01,489 But he felt a little abandoned. 556 00:29:05,618 --> 00:29:07,287 Well, he never told me that. 557 00:29:08,121 --> 00:29:09,038 Hey. 558 00:29:11,374 --> 00:29:12,542 -Hey! -There he is. 559 00:29:12,876 --> 00:29:13,835 -Hi. -Hey. 560 00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:16,838 Are you cooking? 561 00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:17,756 Well, yeah. 562 00:29:20,550 --> 00:29:22,343 I was falling out of love with him, 563 00:29:22,427 --> 00:29:25,555 but I thought I was falling out of love with myself. Know what I mean? 564 00:29:25,930 --> 00:29:26,973 No, not really. 565 00:29:27,056 --> 00:29:28,057 Oh, okay. 566 00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:30,101 Think of yourself as an egg. 567 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,353 -Okay, why? -Because the egg is you, okay? 568 00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:35,398 It's your self-love, your self-worth. You're the egg, right? 569 00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:39,152 So good love presses on the ends of you, you know, 570 00:29:39,235 --> 00:29:41,654 but what happens when you press on the ends of an egg? 571 00:29:41,946 --> 00:29:42,781 I don't know. 572 00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:46,034 Nothing. Good love challenges the egg, puts pressure on the egg, 573 00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:47,744 but allows the egg to stay whole. 574 00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:51,372 But what does it take to turn good love into bad love? 575 00:29:52,540 --> 00:29:53,708 An expiration date? 576 00:29:54,042 --> 00:29:56,836 No. The egg twists, okay? That's it. 577 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,923 Now, suddenly, the pressure is on the sides of the egg. 578 00:30:00,006 --> 00:30:03,468 -Okay? And then, what happens? -We break the egg analogy? 579 00:30:03,551 --> 00:30:04,469 Oh, yeah. 580 00:30:04,928 --> 00:30:06,930 Yes, Daniel. It breaks, all right. 581 00:30:07,430 --> 00:30:09,474 So, who broke your egg, Daniel? 582 00:30:12,852 --> 00:30:14,354 I waited five weeks. 583 00:30:14,771 --> 00:30:16,022 To bang your trainer? 584 00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:17,106 Five weeks... 585 00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:19,025 without a word. 586 00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:22,612 I felt like you were happy for the chance to walk away. 587 00:30:23,613 --> 00:30:24,447 I came... 588 00:30:25,114 --> 00:30:26,950 to tell you that I decided. 589 00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:31,788 I always thought I had to finish my novel first or make something of my life, 590 00:30:31,871 --> 00:30:33,665 and then, I finally realized... 591 00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:36,209 all I ever wanted was you, 592 00:30:36,292 --> 00:30:38,253 and for us to be together, and... 593 00:30:39,546 --> 00:30:40,463 maybe we'll... 594 00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:43,007 one day have children. 595 00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:46,636 And that would be the purpose of our lives, 596 00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:48,763 the best thing that we'd ever do. 597 00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:54,018 I was wrong. 598 00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:56,104 No. 599 00:30:56,479 --> 00:30:57,313 Daniel. 600 00:30:57,939 --> 00:30:59,065 Who broke your egg? 601 00:31:01,150 --> 00:31:02,068 Okay, look... 602 00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:04,070 -Alison. -Yep. 603 00:31:04,153 --> 00:31:05,780 I'm here to get rid of my mother, 604 00:31:05,864 --> 00:31:08,116 and you're here to talk about your ex-husband. 605 00:31:08,199 --> 00:31:12,078 So, why don't we just call it over easy and be done with it? 606 00:31:12,161 --> 00:31:14,205 I'm gonna give you an answer to that question, 607 00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:17,083 even though I don't think you'll understand it, 608 00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:18,668 and I don't think you deserve it. 609 00:31:18,751 --> 00:31:20,753 -I'm telling you I don't deserve it. -Okay. 610 00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:23,214 -You don't have to. -You don't fix the egg. 611 00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,508 It doesn't matter who twisted it, it's broken. 612 00:31:25,592 --> 00:31:26,885 And you gotta let it go. 613 00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:30,346 And once you've truly bid that egg farewell, you'll... 614 00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:31,973 you'll find a new egg. 615 00:31:34,017 --> 00:31:34,851 Thank you. 616 00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:36,311 That was... 617 00:31:37,103 --> 00:31:38,646 I really need the check right now. 618 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:41,357 I don't think I can hear about the egg anymore. I'm sorry. 619 00:31:41,441 --> 00:31:43,568 All right. I was gonna split the bill with you, 620 00:31:43,651 --> 00:31:45,320 but now I'm not so... 621 00:31:45,695 --> 00:31:46,529 thank you. 622 00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:48,573 Fair. Good luck with your egg hunt. 623 00:31:48,948 --> 00:31:49,782 Thank you. 624 00:31:54,203 --> 00:31:58,583 Well, I'm so glad we just finally get to sit down and have a meal together. 625 00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:00,335 And... 626 00:32:01,419 --> 00:32:04,380 Did I mention that Paul has never officially come out to me? 627 00:32:07,383 --> 00:32:08,509 Shame on you, Paul. 628 00:32:08,968 --> 00:32:11,846 You know, what is this bullshit about having to come out? 629 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:15,475 It's not like straight people have to gather their families when they're 18 630 00:32:15,558 --> 00:32:19,312 and find a way to break it to them they're heterosexual, thank you, so... 631 00:32:19,395 --> 00:32:20,939 why is it any different for us? 632 00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:24,317 Why can't parents just see what they see 633 00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,486 and figure it out for themselves? 634 00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:28,696 -It is not a sin. -No. 635 00:32:28,780 --> 00:32:31,491 And it is not something I need to confess. 636 00:32:32,700 --> 00:32:35,203 Shut up and tell her. She deserves the truth. 637 00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:37,497 Do it now! This is really good, Helen. 638 00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:42,168 -Mom. -Yeah? 639 00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:44,003 I'm gay. 640 00:32:45,004 --> 00:32:46,047 You're what? 641 00:32:46,589 --> 00:32:48,299 I support you and I love you! 642 00:32:50,593 --> 00:32:51,427 I'm happy. 643 00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:52,804 All right, kiss her already. 644 00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:54,514 -No! -I'm not gonna go kiss her. 645 00:32:54,597 --> 00:32:55,807 -Get up. -Kiss your mother. 646 00:32:55,890 --> 00:32:59,769 Walk over to your mother and kiss her the way you're supposed to. 647 00:32:59,852 --> 00:33:01,187 -Kiss. -Here I come. 648 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:04,524 Beautiful. 649 00:33:05,858 --> 00:33:07,276 You just made my night. 650 00:33:08,069 --> 00:33:10,571 Now all you have to do is tell your father. 651 00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:12,949 I told him a long time ago. 652 00:33:13,825 --> 00:33:14,659 What? 653 00:33:16,035 --> 00:33:18,121 -I mean, a while ago. -How long ago? 654 00:33:19,747 --> 00:33:21,416 I don't know. A few years. 655 00:33:25,336 --> 00:33:27,338 Why did you tell him and not me? 656 00:33:28,881 --> 00:33:30,174 I figured you knew. 657 00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:33,094 So... 658 00:33:33,177 --> 00:33:36,514 So, I'm punished for being perceptive. 659 00:33:36,597 --> 00:33:40,018 I would like to know why he got to have the conversation and I didn't. 660 00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:43,271 Mom, you just forced me to come out to three men who know I'm gay. 661 00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,815 No way that this moment wasn't going to be about you. 662 00:33:45,898 --> 00:33:49,527 So, maybe this is the exact reason why. 663 00:33:49,944 --> 00:33:53,990 This has nothing to do with you coming out to me. It's just... 664 00:33:54,365 --> 00:33:56,034 It has nothing to do with that. 665 00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:59,328 This is about how you treat me and your father. 666 00:33:59,412 --> 00:34:01,956 I mean, is he always the one that is going to be-- 667 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,167 Mom, there is no you and my father. 668 00:34:04,459 --> 00:34:05,668 You're divorced! 669 00:34:07,670 --> 00:34:10,506 There is me and him, and there is me and you, 670 00:34:10,923 --> 00:34:12,717 but there is no you and him. 671 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,011 And I am not willing to be the you and the him, 672 00:34:15,094 --> 00:34:18,723 which is what you have always wanted, which is why you are blowing up now. 673 00:34:19,098 --> 00:34:22,351 There is a me and him because there is a you. And you... 674 00:34:22,810 --> 00:34:25,688 You are just like him. 675 00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:26,898 Exactly like he is! 676 00:34:26,981 --> 00:34:29,317 No, please do not compare me to someone you despise. 677 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,028 -How about that, huh? -I gotta go make a phone call. 678 00:34:37,784 --> 00:34:40,453 I'll just go ahead and take this with me. 679 00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:42,747 Am I interrupting? 680 00:34:42,997 --> 00:34:45,124 No, Daniel isn't home yet. 681 00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:46,959 Neither is Matt. 682 00:34:47,627 --> 00:34:51,881 I feel like I'm being stood up and all of Tribeca knows it. 683 00:34:52,924 --> 00:34:54,425 These windows. 684 00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:57,220 Oh, stop complaining. I'm in a basement apartment. 685 00:34:57,303 --> 00:34:58,596 All I see are cockroaches 686 00:34:58,679 --> 00:34:59,722 and feet. 687 00:35:01,766 --> 00:35:04,977 I'll call you later if there are any new developments. 688 00:35:05,061 --> 00:35:06,437 All right. Good night. 689 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:07,939 Bye. 690 00:35:08,564 --> 00:35:10,775 -I'm sorry. -Don't be. Nothing to be sorry about. 691 00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:14,362 -I get emotional. -I know. Just give it a sec, okay? 692 00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:16,697 Andre said... 693 00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:19,575 that I ruined your life 694 00:35:19,659 --> 00:35:21,619 -and you hate me for it! -That's... 695 00:35:21,702 --> 00:35:23,913 Helen! No! That's... no. 696 00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:25,331 -I... -Yeah. 697 00:35:25,414 --> 00:35:26,249 No. I said-- 698 00:35:26,332 --> 00:35:28,668 -It is. When I was chopping cucumbers. -That's... 699 00:35:28,751 --> 00:35:32,380 I kind of said you have some abandonment issues because of her. That's all. 700 00:35:32,463 --> 00:35:33,840 That's what you told... 701 00:35:35,758 --> 00:35:36,592 Okay. 702 00:35:48,479 --> 00:35:49,313 Mom. 703 00:35:50,106 --> 00:35:50,940 Yeah? 704 00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:52,942 Hey. 705 00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:55,987 Yeah? 706 00:35:56,362 --> 00:35:57,363 I love you. 707 00:35:59,740 --> 00:36:00,575 Mom. 708 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,202 I would do anything for you, 709 00:36:03,744 --> 00:36:05,037 and you know that. 710 00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:09,750 I would like to stay here for a few nights if that's all right. 711 00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:15,840 -Well, there's not really a guest room. -It's okay. 712 00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:38,112 Plague? 713 00:37:29,664 --> 00:37:30,873 Matthew Walker. 714 00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:32,959 Dartmouth graduate. 715 00:38:25,636 --> 00:38:27,096 Something smells good. 716 00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:29,140 It smelled better at six. 717 00:38:29,515 --> 00:38:30,349 Mom! 718 00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:32,476 You were supposed to be gone! 719 00:38:32,893 --> 00:38:33,853 Who said that? 720 00:38:34,603 --> 00:38:36,397 I said, "Lock up when you leave." 721 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:38,149 I didn't leave yet. 722 00:38:39,191 --> 00:38:40,735 Is this your... 723 00:38:41,110 --> 00:38:41,944 girlfriend? 724 00:38:42,028 --> 00:38:43,863 This is Angel. 725 00:38:43,946 --> 00:38:46,157 Angel, this is Mom. 726 00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,074 Hi. 727 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:49,869 -How long have you two been together? -A while. 728 00:38:50,202 --> 00:38:52,121 Been together about four months now. 729 00:38:53,748 --> 00:38:54,582 Wow! 730 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:57,710 -Well, I'll make another plate. -No. You don't need to! 731 00:38:57,793 --> 00:39:01,047 -Thank you, Mrs. Walker. -You don't have to call her Mrs. Walker. 732 00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:03,841 Thank you... Mom? 733 00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:06,761 Wow! 734 00:39:15,144 --> 00:39:16,228 How the hell... 735 00:39:17,396 --> 00:39:18,272 Did she... 736 00:39:25,363 --> 00:39:28,032 Unbelievable. She just comes in and... 737 00:39:28,824 --> 00:39:29,950 makes her... 738 00:39:35,456 --> 00:39:36,540 No boundaries. 739 00:39:39,377 --> 00:39:41,253 So, what do you do, Angel? 740 00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:43,839 I'm still in school. 741 00:39:44,548 --> 00:39:46,842 Did Matt tell you that he went to Dartmouth? 742 00:39:46,926 --> 00:39:47,760 No. 743 00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:49,387 That's amazing. 744 00:39:51,180 --> 00:39:53,474 I might take a year off to travel before college, 745 00:39:54,141 --> 00:39:55,017 maybe go to Europe. 746 00:39:58,187 --> 00:39:59,480 So, you're... 747 00:39:59,772 --> 00:40:01,399 still in high school. 748 00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:02,483 You were in a bar. 749 00:40:02,566 --> 00:40:04,276 -I'm 18... -You don't look it. 750 00:40:04,819 --> 00:40:05,653 Next month. 751 00:40:06,028 --> 00:40:08,489 -Seventeen. -You never said that you were 17! 752 00:40:08,572 --> 00:40:11,117 Dating for four months, you don't know how old she is? 753 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,537 You forced me to lie. You make it sound like I can't be in a relationship. 754 00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:16,288 -I didn't force you. -I just met her. 755 00:40:16,372 --> 00:40:18,249 She was with friends drinking, I paid. 756 00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:20,167 I didn't come with you because you paid. 757 00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:22,670 He asked me to model for his magazine. 758 00:40:22,753 --> 00:40:25,297 -Because you said that you were a model. -I am. 759 00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:27,716 I used to model children's clothing. 760 00:40:28,050 --> 00:40:30,136 When was that? Last year? 761 00:40:30,219 --> 00:40:32,471 Okay, I think that you should go. 762 00:40:33,556 --> 00:40:35,808 Could you make sure she gets into a cab, at least? 763 00:40:35,891 --> 00:40:38,060 Know what? I'd love to put both of you in a cab. 764 00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:41,105 -It was nice to meet you. -Good night, Angel. 765 00:40:42,898 --> 00:40:43,983 Happy Birthday! 766 00:40:44,358 --> 00:40:45,276 Next month. 767 00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:48,112 No. 768 00:41:06,005 --> 00:41:06,964 -Hey. -Hi. 769 00:41:08,591 --> 00:41:09,425 Thank you. 770 00:41:11,635 --> 00:41:13,846 I wouldn't have yelled at her if she were my mom. 771 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,016 -You hate your mom. -Because she yells at me. 772 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:18,225 -Okay -It's... 773 00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:25,483 -I will write her a note of apology. -Thank you. 774 00:41:25,566 --> 00:41:27,902 And invite her to lunch, where I'll apologize again. 775 00:41:28,527 --> 00:41:31,780 She doesn't really hear apologies the first time through, so... 776 00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:33,365 Thank you. 777 00:41:36,118 --> 00:41:38,037 Do we have a cross I can nail the note to? 778 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:39,747 -Please just write the note. -Sure. 779 00:41:45,252 --> 00:41:46,629 Mom. 780 00:41:47,963 --> 00:41:51,800 -Mom, I said I have somebody for that. -No, you said you'd do it. 781 00:41:54,136 --> 00:41:56,013 I'm sorry about last night. 782 00:41:56,096 --> 00:41:57,223 Why are you sorry? 783 00:41:58,098 --> 00:42:00,851 -Because it was embarrassing. -No, it wasn't embarrassing. 784 00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:03,604 Statutory rape, but let's not argue semantics. 785 00:42:03,979 --> 00:42:06,398 It's never happened to me before. I mean, 17? 786 00:42:06,482 --> 00:42:08,317 -I am not interested, Matt. -What? 787 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,236 If you're gonna lie, I'm not interested. 788 00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:11,362 I'm not lying. 789 00:42:11,445 --> 00:42:14,615 I saw your magazine. It is not about sports. 790 00:42:14,698 --> 00:42:15,699 I never said it was. 791 00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:19,245 You said you work for a men's magazine called All Balls. 792 00:42:19,328 --> 00:42:21,080 What I was supposed to think, scrotum? 793 00:42:21,163 --> 00:42:24,542 A, that's not a word I need to hear out of my mother's mouth, and B, 794 00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:26,085 you are not the demographic. 795 00:42:26,168 --> 00:42:29,088 Well, that much is clear. So now I know the truth about you. 796 00:42:29,171 --> 00:42:32,383 My job has nothing to do with that girl being underage. Young... 797 00:42:32,716 --> 00:42:34,760 younger than she has a right to be. 798 00:42:34,843 --> 00:42:36,637 So how old is she, do you think? 799 00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:38,472 -I don't know, Mom. -You're the editor. 800 00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:39,890 I'm the art director. 801 00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:42,601 I design the look and the feel of All Balls. 802 00:42:43,477 --> 00:42:44,770 The magazine. 803 00:42:44,853 --> 00:42:46,480 So it reflects your taste? 804 00:42:46,564 --> 00:42:48,440 It's my job, Mom. 805 00:42:48,774 --> 00:42:50,192 A job that I'm very good at. 806 00:42:50,526 --> 00:42:52,611 To tailor the content to our audience. 807 00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:55,990 And our audience happens to be young men, and young men like young women. 808 00:42:56,574 --> 00:42:58,617 This is not a magazine for under the mattress. 809 00:42:58,701 --> 00:43:01,620 We are Vanity Fair with half the brain and twice the body. 810 00:43:01,704 --> 00:43:03,205 We are totally mainstream. 811 00:43:03,289 --> 00:43:06,166 Well, your father and I didn't raise you to be mainstream. 812 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:08,210 We raised you to be exceptional. 813 00:43:08,794 --> 00:43:11,547 -If your father were alive... -What, he'd be disappointed? 814 00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:14,675 Because God forbid I haven't lived up to his standards, right? 815 00:43:15,301 --> 00:43:16,677 But he's not here, Mom. 816 00:43:17,219 --> 00:43:19,430 So why are you still taking his side? 817 00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:23,767 What are you talking about? 818 00:43:25,811 --> 00:43:29,273 How come you never came to any of my basketball games? 819 00:43:32,526 --> 00:43:34,194 That was your time with your father. 820 00:43:34,278 --> 00:43:37,448 He was the coach, you were the star. I still have every trophy, 821 00:43:37,531 --> 00:43:40,576 and you have to know how proud I was of every single win. 822 00:43:40,659 --> 00:43:41,785 What about when we lost? 823 00:43:41,869 --> 00:43:44,538 -You didn't lose very often. -No, I didn't lose very often, 824 00:43:44,622 --> 00:43:47,041 because according to Dad, failure wasn't an option. 825 00:43:47,583 --> 00:43:48,917 But apparently, now it is. 826 00:43:49,001 --> 00:43:52,504 -You are not a failure. -Oh, no, I know that I'm not a failure. 827 00:43:52,588 --> 00:43:54,006 Why are you still lecturing me? 828 00:43:54,089 --> 00:43:56,383 I just want you to expect more from your life. 829 00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:59,094 Make the most of your time on this planet. 830 00:44:00,137 --> 00:44:02,431 I'm not the one still living in the same house! 831 00:44:11,273 --> 00:44:14,610 Ma, did you break into my apartment and steal my vodka? 832 00:44:17,029 --> 00:44:17,988 Vodka? 833 00:44:18,864 --> 00:44:20,032 That's crazy talk. 834 00:44:21,533 --> 00:44:24,495 Hey, we were supposed to have dinner. I baked you a pie. 835 00:44:24,578 --> 00:44:26,622 I was on your date last night. 836 00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:28,749 What? How was it? 837 00:44:29,083 --> 00:44:31,043 I'd rather be bitten by the dog again. 838 00:44:33,003 --> 00:44:35,714 I had such hopes for that girl from Yonkers. 839 00:44:36,423 --> 00:44:39,635 You know, sometimes it's the second date where the magic happens. 840 00:44:48,727 --> 00:44:50,896 You want to meet me at the Met after work? 841 00:44:51,397 --> 00:44:52,231 I can't. 842 00:44:52,606 --> 00:44:54,566 I have a party at 1 Oak tonight. 843 00:44:55,275 --> 00:44:58,153 A product launch for a shampoo/body wash. 844 00:44:58,237 --> 00:45:00,030 -Oh, are mothers invited? -No. 845 00:45:00,447 --> 00:45:02,282 I mean, no, it's... 846 00:45:03,033 --> 00:45:05,244 It's guest list only, and you've got to RSVP. 847 00:45:07,830 --> 00:45:09,164 It's not even a party. 848 00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:12,584 It's work, and I shouldn't have even said that it was a party. 849 00:45:24,304 --> 00:45:25,723 It was good to see you, Mom. 850 00:45:26,056 --> 00:45:26,890 Love you. 851 00:45:27,683 --> 00:45:30,394 And if you decide to leave, just lock up. 852 00:45:31,228 --> 00:45:32,062 Like I said. 853 00:45:32,896 --> 00:45:33,897 I'm not leaving. 854 00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:36,233 Okay. 855 00:45:39,945 --> 00:45:40,863 Look. 856 00:45:40,946 --> 00:45:42,990 Oh, it has little bees. 857 00:45:43,866 --> 00:45:45,325 Oh, my God. 858 00:45:45,409 --> 00:45:46,702 Can you imagine? 859 00:45:46,785 --> 00:45:48,996 Isn't it fabulous? It's sort of conservative. 860 00:45:49,079 --> 00:45:50,706 What do we know about this party? 861 00:45:50,789 --> 00:45:52,541 There's a list, apparently. 862 00:45:52,624 --> 00:45:53,709 For a shampoo? 863 00:45:55,461 --> 00:45:56,628 I feel naked. 864 00:45:57,963 --> 00:46:01,592 -Oh, my. Where have you been hiding those? -I try to de-emphasize. 865 00:46:01,675 --> 00:46:04,052 Why? They're spectacular. 866 00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:06,013 Is this appropriate, you think? 867 00:46:06,096 --> 00:46:08,974 That dress or crashing your son's work party? 868 00:46:09,308 --> 00:46:12,144 Matt brought home a girl almost half his age. 869 00:46:12,227 --> 00:46:14,646 Well, Larry married a girl almost half his age. 870 00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:15,939 It's just what men do. 871 00:46:17,691 --> 00:46:18,650 How about these? 872 00:46:19,693 --> 00:46:21,945 Matt, he doesn't listen to me anymore, 873 00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:24,740 so I'm trying to listen to him. 874 00:46:25,157 --> 00:46:29,119 I'm trying to understand his life here, support what he wants. 875 00:46:29,536 --> 00:46:31,038 Is that going too far? 876 00:46:31,121 --> 00:46:32,039 No. 877 00:46:32,664 --> 00:46:35,000 -That is admirable. -Yes. 878 00:46:35,542 --> 00:46:39,880 You should go to that party and you should wear this fabulous dress. 879 00:46:40,589 --> 00:46:42,549 And we should get your hair done. 880 00:46:45,511 --> 00:46:46,428 That's her. 881 00:46:46,762 --> 00:46:49,389 -Okay, well, is she any good? -I don't know. 882 00:46:49,473 --> 00:46:51,266 -Carol, it's time. -Time for what? 883 00:46:51,350 --> 00:46:52,684 -A new look. -Yeah. 884 00:46:52,768 --> 00:46:55,646 Now, come on. I got to meet Paul for lunch at one. 885 00:46:57,189 --> 00:46:59,358 -Hi, I'm Erin. -Hello. 886 00:46:59,441 --> 00:47:01,735 And I see you bought your girl-- Oh, my gosh. 887 00:47:02,611 --> 00:47:03,654 Mrs. Lieberman. 888 00:47:04,780 --> 00:47:06,865 How crazy. Erin. 889 00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:10,369 Yes, it's Gillian. And this is Carol and Helen. 890 00:47:10,452 --> 00:47:11,912 -Hi. -Hello. 891 00:47:12,287 --> 00:47:14,540 -I know this is weird. -Yep. 892 00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:15,624 And I'm sorry. 893 00:47:15,999 --> 00:47:17,042 But it was Carol. 894 00:47:17,292 --> 00:47:19,753 -Carol wants a makeover. -No. 895 00:47:19,837 --> 00:47:22,840 I did not say "makeover," okay? 896 00:47:22,923 --> 00:47:25,008 Look... I'm going to a party tonight. 897 00:47:25,384 --> 00:47:26,802 But first things first, 898 00:47:26,885 --> 00:47:30,055 I need to know what is your experience with my texture of hair? 899 00:47:30,138 --> 00:47:32,266 Oh, yeah, I do all types of hair. 900 00:47:32,349 --> 00:47:33,267 See? 901 00:47:34,643 --> 00:47:36,562 You're the perfect stylist. 902 00:47:36,645 --> 00:47:37,479 Perfect. 903 00:47:37,938 --> 00:47:38,772 Okay. 904 00:47:39,648 --> 00:47:40,482 Okay. 905 00:47:40,899 --> 00:47:41,733 Right? 906 00:47:44,027 --> 00:47:45,737 Does Daniel know you're here? 907 00:47:46,905 --> 00:47:48,991 No. This is all me. 908 00:47:49,074 --> 00:47:51,618 But I remembered that you had mentioned this salon 909 00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:53,704 when we had brunch that one time. 910 00:47:53,954 --> 00:47:57,708 Right, and then you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. 911 00:47:58,458 --> 00:47:59,501 Jesus. 912 00:48:00,043 --> 00:48:01,044 Did I? 913 00:48:03,630 --> 00:48:04,923 I'm so sorry. 914 00:48:05,215 --> 00:48:06,550 Anyhoo, let's just... 915 00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:10,429 -get Carol started. -No. 916 00:48:10,512 --> 00:48:11,513 No rush. 917 00:48:11,597 --> 00:48:12,973 Let's not cut angry. 918 00:48:13,056 --> 00:48:15,142 I'm sorry. Did I say that I'm sorry? 919 00:48:15,225 --> 00:48:18,437 Yeah, no, three times now. So, I think we're good. 920 00:48:20,147 --> 00:48:21,023 Okay. 921 00:48:21,565 --> 00:48:22,566 So, Carol... 922 00:48:22,649 --> 00:48:23,483 Yes. 923 00:48:23,567 --> 00:48:24,985 Are you open to a new shape? 924 00:48:25,068 --> 00:48:26,403 -Well... -She is. 925 00:48:26,612 --> 00:48:28,739 Well, nothing severe. 926 00:48:28,822 --> 00:48:32,618 You know, Finn always loved my hair just the way that it is, so... 927 00:48:32,701 --> 00:48:35,954 Well, you have a beautiful face. We should frame your face. 928 00:48:37,205 --> 00:48:39,666 And I think we gotta rock these curls. 929 00:48:43,045 --> 00:48:44,004 That's great. 930 00:48:44,755 --> 00:48:45,589 Nice. 931 00:48:48,467 --> 00:48:49,301 Yes. 932 00:48:49,968 --> 00:48:51,178 You're my first cut. 933 00:48:53,805 --> 00:48:55,515 Okay, now put your head back. 934 00:48:58,226 --> 00:48:59,186 What do you think? 935 00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,648 Oh, my gosh! 936 00:49:02,731 --> 00:49:06,401 If you looked any younger, Matt would date you. 937 00:49:06,485 --> 00:49:08,070 You're a miracle worker! 938 00:49:08,153 --> 00:49:10,113 -No. -Really? Was it that tired? 939 00:49:10,197 --> 00:49:11,198 No... 940 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:13,951 Erin, thank you. I love it. 941 00:49:14,242 --> 00:49:15,452 I just helped you be you. 942 00:49:18,372 --> 00:49:19,665 Look, Erin, 943 00:49:20,332 --> 00:49:21,750 I really have to apologize. 944 00:49:22,084 --> 00:49:23,835 -Again? -Yes, again. 945 00:49:23,919 --> 00:49:25,796 I should have tried harder before. 946 00:49:25,879 --> 00:49:28,840 Listen, maybe I could take you and Daniel out to lunch, and... 947 00:49:28,924 --> 00:49:30,759 Or maybe you could do my hair? 948 00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:32,803 Oh, now you volunteer. 949 00:49:33,136 --> 00:49:33,971 Thank you. 950 00:49:34,596 --> 00:49:36,473 No, I'm actually moving next week. 951 00:49:36,765 --> 00:49:38,225 What? Why? Where? 952 00:49:38,308 --> 00:49:42,145 My friend has a salon in Los Angeles, so I'm gonna try the other coast. 953 00:49:42,437 --> 00:49:44,690 But it was so good to see you again. 954 00:49:44,773 --> 00:49:46,066 And enjoy your party, Carol. 955 00:49:47,067 --> 00:49:48,652 Well, how can I not now? 956 00:49:49,027 --> 00:49:50,654 -Thank you. -Nice to meet you, Erin. 957 00:49:51,363 --> 00:49:52,322 How is he? 958 00:49:52,906 --> 00:49:54,241 He's... 959 00:49:54,700 --> 00:49:56,743 Yeah, well, you know, 960 00:49:56,827 --> 00:49:57,703 been better. 961 00:49:58,662 --> 00:49:59,579 With you... 962 00:50:00,247 --> 00:50:01,248 he was better. 963 00:50:02,374 --> 00:50:03,834 Until I broke his heart. 964 00:50:06,378 --> 00:50:07,796 But he broke mine first. 965 00:50:08,964 --> 00:50:09,923 So, we're even. 966 00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:12,676 He did. 967 00:50:18,390 --> 00:50:19,933 One thing I do know... 968 00:50:20,392 --> 00:50:23,979 the problem is not that I meddled, it's that I should have meddled sooner. 969 00:50:24,896 --> 00:50:26,398 I wouldn't tell him that. 970 00:50:27,149 --> 00:50:28,775 Oh, there's Paul. 971 00:50:30,652 --> 00:50:32,404 Look at him, he's so handsome. 972 00:50:32,487 --> 00:50:33,697 Okay, we're not even here. 973 00:50:33,780 --> 00:50:35,741 -Go enjoy your apology. -Yes, go. 974 00:50:36,950 --> 00:50:38,452 -Hi. -I don't want him to see us. 975 00:50:38,535 --> 00:50:41,246 We're middle-aged women in Manhattan, practically invisible. 976 00:50:42,748 --> 00:50:43,623 Okay. 977 00:50:43,999 --> 00:50:44,875 Thank you. 978 00:50:46,418 --> 00:50:47,335 Thank you. 979 00:50:48,420 --> 00:50:51,131 You were so thoughtful with the note. 980 00:50:52,132 --> 00:50:53,341 Was that Andre's idea? 981 00:50:55,469 --> 00:50:56,553 -Excuse me. -Yes? 982 00:50:56,636 --> 00:50:59,347 I'm gonna have what she's having, without the taunting. 983 00:51:01,266 --> 00:51:02,350 Listen, I'm... 984 00:51:02,684 --> 00:51:05,854 really sorry I attacked you last night about Dad. 985 00:51:07,981 --> 00:51:08,815 Yeah. 986 00:51:09,357 --> 00:51:10,650 -Okay? -Yes. 987 00:51:11,026 --> 00:51:11,902 Sorry. 988 00:51:14,571 --> 00:51:17,908 It's just not my problem if you can't let go. 989 00:51:20,702 --> 00:51:22,162 I usually get the fish. 990 00:51:24,873 --> 00:51:27,167 -So... -What do you mean, I can't let go? 991 00:51:29,002 --> 00:51:30,504 I'm just saying that's the issue. 992 00:51:31,713 --> 00:51:33,256 Well, you're absolutely wrong. 993 00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:36,176 I am happily married to someone I am in love with. 994 00:51:36,259 --> 00:51:38,470 I will believe anything you tell me. 995 00:51:38,762 --> 00:51:40,597 Please stop patronizing me. 996 00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:41,515 Thank you. 997 00:51:41,598 --> 00:51:42,682 -Enjoy. -Thanks. 998 00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:47,062 I'm not patronizing, I'm apologizing. 999 00:51:47,145 --> 00:51:50,315 So, accusing me of having a sham marriage is what you call an apology? 1000 00:51:50,398 --> 00:51:52,484 I'm not accusing you of anything. 1001 00:51:52,567 --> 00:51:54,861 I'm just trying to apologize. 1002 00:51:55,153 --> 00:51:57,197 You know, it's what you always do. 1003 00:51:57,280 --> 00:51:59,658 You always make some outrageous accusation, 1004 00:51:59,741 --> 00:52:01,993 and then you act as if I'm being hypersensitive 1005 00:52:02,077 --> 00:52:03,495 to notice that you've said it. 1006 00:52:03,870 --> 00:52:05,288 It's a small thing. 1007 00:52:05,372 --> 00:52:08,792 It's a tiny observation. It's something that was obvious to me. 1008 00:52:09,209 --> 00:52:11,878 Mom, if I was wrong, you wouldn't be so upset. Mom! 1009 00:52:12,295 --> 00:52:13,630 -Oh, my... -We should go. 1010 00:52:13,713 --> 00:52:14,548 Don't-- 1011 00:52:15,715 --> 00:52:16,716 We should go! 1012 00:52:17,884 --> 00:52:19,928 You should be ashamed of yourself. 1013 00:52:20,804 --> 00:52:22,055 Carol Walker? 1014 00:52:28,770 --> 00:52:29,855 Gillian Lieberman. 1015 00:52:30,939 --> 00:52:33,483 I don't know why she didn't tell you that we're in town, 1016 00:52:33,567 --> 00:52:36,361 but I certainly wouldn't use the word "conspiracy." 1017 00:52:36,444 --> 00:52:38,071 My feelings, or lack of them, 1018 00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:41,324 toward my husband and my ex-husband are really none of your business. 1019 00:52:41,408 --> 00:52:43,118 Well, I didn't say they were. 1020 00:52:43,201 --> 00:52:44,536 That was meant for me. 1021 00:52:45,036 --> 00:52:46,872 And you have no place speculating 1022 00:52:46,955 --> 00:52:50,542 on what I may or may not be thinking or feeling, 1023 00:52:50,625 --> 00:52:54,421 especially when your speculations are inaccurate and deeply hurtful. 1024 00:52:54,504 --> 00:52:55,964 You are absolutely right. 1025 00:52:56,047 --> 00:52:57,257 Subject closed. 1026 00:52:57,340 --> 00:52:58,508 -Thank God. -Yeah. 1027 00:52:58,592 --> 00:53:01,136 I think Carol and I should get going now. 1028 00:53:01,219 --> 00:53:04,139 Well, there's one more thing I wanted to tell you. 1029 00:53:04,222 --> 00:53:06,391 Just... get everything out on the table. 1030 00:53:06,474 --> 00:53:09,561 Didn't want you to hear it from somebody else or somebody else's son. 1031 00:53:09,644 --> 00:53:12,772 Or if I even needed to tell you, 'cause it doesn't really involve you. 1032 00:53:12,856 --> 00:53:14,149 Just come on, spit it out. 1033 00:53:14,608 --> 00:53:16,818 I... might not... 1034 00:53:18,612 --> 00:53:20,113 have children of my own. 1035 00:53:20,739 --> 00:53:23,575 -That much I figured. -Gay people have children all the time. 1036 00:53:23,658 --> 00:53:25,952 -Do you want children? -No, I do not. 1037 00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:28,163 The point is that gay men have... 1038 00:53:28,872 --> 00:53:30,665 sperm, and lesbians have wombs, 1039 00:53:30,749 --> 00:53:33,835 and we don't need straight people to tell us what we can or can't do. 1040 00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:35,045 What? 1041 00:53:36,338 --> 00:53:38,089 This is why I didn't want to tell you. 1042 00:53:38,173 --> 00:53:41,343 You are too young to make a decision like this. 1043 00:53:41,426 --> 00:53:44,596 -A decision like what? -Two mommies and a sperm-daddy, right? 1044 00:53:44,679 --> 00:53:47,098 Mom, what I'm saying is... 1045 00:53:47,557 --> 00:53:52,479 if I lent my sperm to two women that I knew and trusted, 1046 00:53:52,562 --> 00:53:55,649 then I would know that the child would be loved and cared for-- 1047 00:53:55,732 --> 00:53:59,236 Are you saying you weren't loved? Are you trying to make me feel guilty? 1048 00:53:59,319 --> 00:54:00,820 This has nothing to do with you. 1049 00:54:00,904 --> 00:54:03,615 -This is about me. -And the gift you're giving your friends? 1050 00:54:03,698 --> 00:54:06,409 Yes, the gift I'm giving my friends, which I feel good about 1051 00:54:06,493 --> 00:54:08,453 because I love them, and they love the baby. 1052 00:54:13,708 --> 00:54:15,252 -Did he say baby? -You have a baby? 1053 00:54:15,335 --> 00:54:18,838 -There's a baby? -What did you think we were talking about? 1054 00:54:19,214 --> 00:54:22,759 Sperm! I thought we were talking about sperm! 1055 00:54:22,842 --> 00:54:24,261 A baby takes nine months. 1056 00:54:24,344 --> 00:54:27,472 -You've kept this from me for nine months? -Mom, the more of a scene-- 1057 00:54:27,555 --> 00:54:31,142 This has been a lovely lunch, even though we didn't have lunch. 1058 00:54:31,226 --> 00:54:32,143 So, don't get up. 1059 00:54:32,227 --> 00:54:34,813 Please, just sit there and have more not your children, 1060 00:54:34,896 --> 00:54:38,525 so I can have more not my grandchildren, and we can get together for the holidays 1061 00:54:38,608 --> 00:54:40,527 and have one big, not happy, not a family, 1062 00:54:40,610 --> 00:54:43,029 because I'm not a mother anymore, I'm an other. 1063 00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:45,573 -And now I am not a grandmother... -What is... 1064 00:54:45,657 --> 00:54:46,992 I am a grand-other! 1065 00:54:47,784 --> 00:54:48,618 Helen, sweetie! 1066 00:54:48,702 --> 00:54:51,663 -Your hair looks very nice, Carol. -Well, thank you, Paul. 1067 00:54:51,746 --> 00:54:54,291 But that was not an apology. 1068 00:54:57,335 --> 00:54:58,169 Helen! 1069 00:55:00,672 --> 00:55:03,216 I thought you didn't want to be a grandmother. 1070 00:55:03,300 --> 00:55:07,387 Well, I just don't want things to be taken away from me. 1071 00:55:07,887 --> 00:55:08,722 I mean... 1072 00:55:09,264 --> 00:55:11,933 now someone else gets my grandchild, 1073 00:55:12,225 --> 00:55:14,853 just like someone else got my husband. 1074 00:55:15,937 --> 00:55:17,981 How did this become about Larry? 1075 00:55:18,064 --> 00:55:20,650 Because divorce is not fair. 1076 00:55:21,609 --> 00:55:24,321 Divorce is great for men. They get someone... 1077 00:55:24,404 --> 00:55:25,280 younger, 1078 00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:27,282 thinner, better. 1079 00:55:27,365 --> 00:55:32,412 And women get someone older and fatter, with thinner hair! 1080 00:55:34,956 --> 00:55:36,458 I got a text from Daniel. 1081 00:55:37,917 --> 00:55:39,919 "Stop calling me." 1082 00:55:41,838 --> 00:55:42,881 What should I reply? 1083 00:55:42,964 --> 00:55:44,716 Please, don't reply. 1084 00:55:45,133 --> 00:55:45,967 Let's just... 1085 00:55:46,676 --> 00:55:49,596 Let's just go home before we do any more damage. 1086 00:55:49,679 --> 00:55:51,765 No. Carol. 1087 00:55:51,848 --> 00:55:54,851 You and your boobs are going out, and I don't mean me and Helen. 1088 00:55:54,934 --> 00:55:55,852 Yeah. 1089 00:55:55,935 --> 00:55:58,355 -Carol, you go out and have fun. -Yeah. 1090 00:55:59,147 --> 00:56:02,650 I wish Larry had died on me, too. 1091 00:56:06,905 --> 00:56:09,574 You should think more about what you say 1092 00:56:10,116 --> 00:56:11,826 and less about what you feel. 1093 00:56:12,243 --> 00:56:13,828 I'm so sorry. 1094 00:56:16,039 --> 00:56:17,791 What did I say? 1095 00:56:19,125 --> 00:56:19,959 What? 1096 00:56:20,043 --> 00:56:21,086 Really? 1097 00:56:28,635 --> 00:56:29,469 Excuse me. 1098 00:56:31,721 --> 00:56:33,765 I'm a guest of Matt Walker. 1099 00:56:34,265 --> 00:56:35,934 Do you have him on the list? 1100 00:56:36,601 --> 00:56:37,977 He's All Balls. 1101 00:56:38,603 --> 00:56:39,437 The magazine. 1102 00:56:40,271 --> 00:56:41,439 It's a magazine. 1103 00:56:41,523 --> 00:56:43,149 Yeah. I know Matt. 1104 00:56:43,733 --> 00:56:46,152 He's already checked in. He doesn't have a plus one. 1105 00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:49,656 I'm his mother. Carol Walker. 1106 00:56:50,031 --> 00:56:51,574 I have a driver's license. 1107 00:56:54,035 --> 00:56:54,869 There. 1108 00:56:55,829 --> 00:56:58,790 And a picture of Matt in the tub when he was three. 1109 00:56:59,749 --> 00:57:01,000 Does he have a woody? 1110 00:57:02,252 --> 00:57:05,171 Oh, no, that's a toy boat. 1111 00:57:05,255 --> 00:57:07,006 Oh, my God. 1112 00:57:10,844 --> 00:57:12,262 It's for Instagram. 1113 00:57:14,722 --> 00:57:15,682 She's good. 1114 00:57:50,758 --> 00:57:53,011 Excuse me. 1115 00:57:53,094 --> 00:57:54,053 Excuse me. 1116 00:58:04,772 --> 00:58:06,149 I ruined your dress. 1117 00:58:06,649 --> 00:58:08,693 -I'm so sorry. -I never liked this dress. 1118 00:58:08,776 --> 00:58:09,861 Oh, it's all my fault. 1119 00:58:10,361 --> 00:58:11,488 I'm running from my son. 1120 00:58:12,739 --> 00:58:13,615 I'm Julia. 1121 00:58:15,366 --> 00:58:17,160 Carol... Walker. 1122 00:58:17,535 --> 00:58:19,329 Why are you running from your son? 1123 00:58:19,954 --> 00:58:21,706 Well, he told me I couldn't come. 1124 00:58:22,081 --> 00:58:23,082 That's not nice. 1125 00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:24,709 Maybe it was. 1126 00:58:24,792 --> 00:58:27,295 Maybe he knew everyone here would be 30 years younger, 1127 00:58:27,378 --> 00:58:30,131 and I would feel like the last dinosaur. 1128 00:58:31,508 --> 00:58:34,802 -Well, thank you, Damon. Thank you. -You're very welcome. 1129 00:58:36,679 --> 00:58:39,224 Damon, Damon, Damon. 1130 00:58:39,474 --> 00:58:40,308 Hey. 1131 00:58:40,391 --> 00:58:42,852 Hey, would a grandma wear these? 1132 00:58:42,936 --> 00:58:45,480 No, especially not to bed. 1133 00:58:45,563 --> 00:58:49,025 We are not going to bed, we are going clubbing. 1134 00:58:49,692 --> 00:58:52,320 I didn't go clubbing when I was supposed to go clubbing. 1135 00:58:52,403 --> 00:58:53,988 Would we even get into a club? 1136 00:58:54,072 --> 00:58:57,200 Well, I didn't think I'd get into these jeans, and look at me now. 1137 00:58:57,283 --> 00:58:58,243 Can you breathe? 1138 00:58:58,326 --> 00:58:59,410 Sporadically. 1139 00:58:59,494 --> 00:59:02,038 Come on. Let's go downstairs. 1140 00:59:02,121 --> 00:59:04,624 This hotel is supposed to be a huge party scene. 1141 00:59:04,707 --> 00:59:06,167 Just call for a bellboy. 1142 00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:09,462 One's more gorgeous than the next, and they come to you. 1143 00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:12,090 I know. You've called for ice twice. 1144 00:59:12,173 --> 00:59:13,925 Just fuck one of them already. 1145 00:59:14,008 --> 00:59:15,552 What? I'm thirsty. 1146 00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:18,388 Come on, we are in New York City. 1147 00:59:18,471 --> 00:59:20,181 Let's go! 1148 00:59:20,932 --> 00:59:22,600 Okay. Let me take a shower. 1149 00:59:23,476 --> 00:59:24,394 Yes. 1150 00:59:24,477 --> 00:59:25,687 I think this might be him. 1151 00:59:26,062 --> 00:59:27,981 Is he the most handsome guy in the room? 1152 00:59:28,982 --> 00:59:30,024 He's got swagger. 1153 00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:34,654 That's him. 1154 00:59:35,905 --> 00:59:37,282 I can't talk to him right now. 1155 00:59:37,740 --> 00:59:38,575 Matt... 1156 00:59:39,325 --> 00:59:41,202 has never seen me drunk. 1157 00:59:42,662 --> 00:59:46,708 So, tell me more about this non-profit that you're working with. 1158 00:59:46,791 --> 00:59:48,334 It's called micro lending. 1159 00:59:48,418 --> 00:59:51,671 We provide small loans for the world's poorest of the poor, 1160 00:59:51,754 --> 00:59:52,797 mostly women, 1161 00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:55,383 so they can work their own way out of poverty. 1162 00:59:55,466 --> 00:59:58,845 I want you to give my son a child. 1163 01:00:02,181 --> 01:00:03,016 Matt... 1164 01:00:03,433 --> 01:00:06,144 He may seem vain, and superficial, and... 1165 01:00:06,227 --> 01:00:10,648 so afraid of any real emotion that it makes you cry. 1166 01:00:11,441 --> 01:00:14,235 But he's basically good. 1167 01:00:14,819 --> 01:00:19,449 He has it in him to be a really good man. 1168 01:00:20,199 --> 01:00:22,076 I need you to show him 1169 01:00:22,160 --> 01:00:24,621 how to be that man. 1170 01:00:27,415 --> 01:00:29,208 I think we should get you home. 1171 01:00:30,293 --> 01:00:31,252 Let's dance. 1172 01:00:31,502 --> 01:00:34,172 I used to love to dance. 1173 01:00:40,678 --> 01:00:43,181 Matt's dad used to take me dancing. 1174 01:00:44,182 --> 01:00:45,391 He's dead now. 1175 01:00:45,975 --> 01:00:47,310 That's why he stopped. 1176 01:00:51,981 --> 01:00:52,815 Mom! 1177 01:00:54,025 --> 01:00:54,942 What are you... 1178 01:00:55,735 --> 01:00:57,945 What is all this? What happened to your hair? 1179 01:00:58,029 --> 01:01:00,657 And Mom, you did not have those this morning. 1180 01:01:01,991 --> 01:01:02,825 Matt... 1181 01:01:03,743 --> 01:01:05,620 I'm in love with Julia! 1182 01:01:07,330 --> 01:01:10,166 I love her. I think you might, too. 1183 01:01:13,044 --> 01:01:14,962 Okay, let go of her hand. 1184 01:01:15,046 --> 01:01:16,297 She is my mother. 1185 01:01:16,381 --> 01:01:19,092 Dancing does not make you a lesbian. 1186 01:01:19,175 --> 01:01:22,053 -Your dad liked lesbians, by the way. -Mom. 1187 01:01:22,136 --> 01:01:24,305 I found his videos after he died. 1188 01:01:24,722 --> 01:01:27,433 Please, stop talking and dancing. 1189 01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:30,687 You know what? Let's just get you into a cab. 1190 01:01:30,770 --> 01:01:32,313 You get into a cab! 1191 01:01:33,147 --> 01:01:34,399 I'm having dessert. 1192 01:01:36,526 --> 01:01:38,027 I may stay out all night. 1193 01:01:38,444 --> 01:01:40,279 I may drink from a shoe. 1194 01:01:41,322 --> 01:01:43,658 I was a girl before I was your mother. 1195 01:01:45,702 --> 01:01:47,704 All right, does this outfit work? 1196 01:01:47,787 --> 01:01:49,956 I mean, outside Poughkeepsie. 1197 01:01:57,088 --> 01:01:57,922 Shoot. 1198 01:01:58,756 --> 01:01:59,924 -Hey. -Gillian. 1199 01:02:00,883 --> 01:02:02,427 I need my friends. 1200 01:02:03,511 --> 01:02:04,887 He barely recognized me. 1201 01:02:04,971 --> 01:02:06,389 Because of your new look? 1202 01:02:06,472 --> 01:02:08,933 No! Because I was having fun! 1203 01:02:09,016 --> 01:02:11,602 -That's what we were supposed to do. -You passed out. 1204 01:02:11,686 --> 01:02:14,105 By the way, you have incredible new beauty products. 1205 01:02:14,188 --> 01:02:15,982 Yeah. It's all anti-aging. 1206 01:02:16,065 --> 01:02:18,192 Why is everyone anti-aging? 1207 01:02:18,276 --> 01:02:20,153 You know what's anti-aging? 1208 01:02:20,236 --> 01:02:21,070 Death. 1209 01:02:21,404 --> 01:02:22,864 Let's be happy we're aging. 1210 01:02:22,947 --> 01:02:23,781 -Yeah. -Yeah. 1211 01:02:24,115 --> 01:02:25,032 By the way, 1212 01:02:25,116 --> 01:02:29,245 do you know how long it's been since I have had-- 1213 01:02:29,328 --> 01:02:30,163 Sex? 1214 01:02:30,913 --> 01:02:32,498 I was gonna say pizza. 1215 01:02:39,005 --> 01:02:40,715 I'm not going home tonight. 1216 01:02:41,132 --> 01:02:42,467 I mean, Matt's home. 1217 01:02:43,092 --> 01:02:44,135 I'm on vacation. 1218 01:02:44,218 --> 01:02:46,971 -So, we're done with the mission? -We have a new mission. 1219 01:02:48,097 --> 01:02:49,599 Dance till dawn. 1220 01:02:51,267 --> 01:02:53,478 But... did we fail the first mission? 1221 01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:55,313 Fuck the first mission! 1222 01:02:55,396 --> 01:02:56,606 What about the boys? 1223 01:02:56,814 --> 01:02:58,649 Fuck the boys! 1224 01:02:58,816 --> 01:02:59,901 Wow! 1225 01:02:59,984 --> 01:03:01,819 Man, I love the new Carol! 1226 01:03:01,903 --> 01:03:02,987 Yeah! 1227 01:03:03,070 --> 01:03:04,864 Yes! 1228 01:03:40,441 --> 01:03:41,275 One more. 1229 01:03:50,576 --> 01:03:51,828 Get it, girl! Get it! 1230 01:03:53,621 --> 01:03:55,206 One, two, three. 1231 01:04:02,672 --> 01:04:03,506 Yes! 1232 01:04:24,110 --> 01:04:24,986 Come on. 1233 01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:40,501 Yeah. 1234 01:04:48,509 --> 01:04:49,343 It's you. 1235 01:04:53,806 --> 01:04:55,308 Your mother left this in the cab. 1236 01:04:57,393 --> 01:04:58,227 Thank you. 1237 01:04:59,186 --> 01:05:00,438 Do you know where she is? 1238 01:05:00,521 --> 01:05:01,397 Sleeping. 1239 01:05:01,856 --> 01:05:02,690 It's early. 1240 01:05:03,065 --> 01:05:04,400 -Is she? -Isn't she? 1241 01:05:05,067 --> 01:05:06,819 This isn't where I dropped her. 1242 01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,280 I got your address from her phone. 1243 01:05:15,995 --> 01:05:16,829 Ma? 1244 01:05:18,831 --> 01:05:22,376 -Okay, where did you drop her? -At a pizza place in the Village. 1245 01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:25,296 -She was meeting friends. -She doesn't eat pizza. 1246 01:05:25,838 --> 01:05:28,049 And she doesn't have any friends in the Village. 1247 01:05:28,132 --> 01:05:30,927 The hair and the dress. Like she wanted people to look at her, 1248 01:05:31,010 --> 01:05:32,178 and that's not my mother. 1249 01:05:32,261 --> 01:05:35,640 -Okay? She doesn't even like dancing. -She loves to dance. 1250 01:05:39,602 --> 01:05:40,436 Right. 1251 01:05:41,854 --> 01:05:45,107 My name and number are on a napkin in the phone case. 1252 01:05:46,734 --> 01:05:48,152 I'd like to know she's okay. 1253 01:05:52,949 --> 01:05:53,783 Wait. 1254 01:05:53,866 --> 01:05:55,117 Hey. Hi, Mrs. Dean. 1255 01:05:55,576 --> 01:05:56,410 Julia. 1256 01:05:57,244 --> 01:05:59,080 Look, thanks. That was... 1257 01:06:00,706 --> 01:06:01,624 That was nice. 1258 01:06:02,708 --> 01:06:04,627 Great photo on Instagram, by the way. 1259 01:06:05,044 --> 01:06:05,878 What? 1260 01:06:12,218 --> 01:06:13,803 Is that someone knocking? 1261 01:06:14,303 --> 01:06:16,097 Or is it just my head pounding? 1262 01:06:16,347 --> 01:06:17,974 You go out, Gill. Go. 1263 01:06:18,182 --> 01:06:19,100 Why me? 1264 01:06:20,142 --> 01:06:20,977 Okay. 1265 01:06:26,440 --> 01:06:27,400 What is it? 1266 01:06:27,483 --> 01:06:28,859 -Hey, Mom. -Daniel. 1267 01:06:28,943 --> 01:06:31,028 -Excuse me. -What? Matt? 1268 01:06:32,279 --> 01:06:33,197 -They're here. -Yeah. 1269 01:06:34,198 --> 01:06:35,032 Mom. 1270 01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:35,950 Mom! 1271 01:06:36,701 --> 01:06:40,246 Is this why you couldn't make a call? Your new friend dropped this off. 1272 01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:43,082 -Why? -We were worried sick. 1273 01:06:43,165 --> 01:06:44,834 Did I invite any of you in? 1274 01:06:44,917 --> 01:06:46,669 Did we invite any of you to New York? 1275 01:06:46,752 --> 01:06:49,088 Okay, could everyone just please stop shouting? 1276 01:06:49,171 --> 01:06:50,339 I have a hangover. 1277 01:06:51,132 --> 01:06:54,635 Yeah, Mom, that's what happens when you get drunk at my work party. 1278 01:06:54,927 --> 01:06:57,263 And now there is a naked picture of me on Instagram. 1279 01:06:57,346 --> 01:07:00,307 -I had nothing to do with a naked picture. -In the tub. 1280 01:07:01,517 --> 01:07:03,561 Oh, yeah. Well, I just showed one person. 1281 01:07:03,644 --> 01:07:05,146 We're allowed to be in New York. 1282 01:07:05,229 --> 01:07:07,398 I had no idea where you were last night. 1283 01:07:07,481 --> 01:07:10,109 I had no idea I had a grandchild, so we're even. 1284 01:07:11,902 --> 01:07:12,820 I told her. 1285 01:07:13,154 --> 01:07:14,822 See, Paul talks to his mom. 1286 01:07:14,905 --> 01:07:16,866 Why did you break up with Erin? 1287 01:07:16,949 --> 01:07:19,076 Ma, yesterday you told me you were checking out. 1288 01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:20,494 Why are you still here again? 1289 01:07:20,578 --> 01:07:23,664 -Wait, hang on. You've been in a hotel? -Why? Is that a crime? 1290 01:07:23,748 --> 01:07:27,418 -Why didn't you stay in a hotel? -Well, Helen and Gillian wouldn't let me. 1291 01:07:27,501 --> 01:07:29,003 Why? What's wrong with a hotel? 1292 01:07:29,086 --> 01:07:31,172 Well, I'll tell you what's wrong with this one. 1293 01:07:31,255 --> 01:07:32,590 The security stinks. 1294 01:07:33,049 --> 01:07:35,176 Would you put on a robe at least? 1295 01:07:35,259 --> 01:07:39,430 -Oh, what do you care? You're gay. Here. -You know what? I'm gay, not blind. 1296 01:07:39,513 --> 01:07:41,640 Okay, Matt, I'll see you at home. 1297 01:07:41,724 --> 01:07:43,059 Your home is in Poughkeepsie! 1298 01:07:43,142 --> 01:07:44,977 -That's not nice. -I'm sorry. 1299 01:07:48,814 --> 01:07:49,732 Bye, Ma. 1300 01:07:52,109 --> 01:07:55,362 -I've wanted to see those since I was ten. -Those are some nice titties. 1301 01:07:55,446 --> 01:07:57,782 Talk about something other than my mother's breasts. 1302 01:07:57,865 --> 01:08:00,826 -She's a lovely lady. -How about where we're going to lunch? 1303 01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:03,245 How about we talk about Woody Walker? 1304 01:08:03,329 --> 01:08:04,163 Oh, my God. 1305 01:08:04,246 --> 01:08:06,957 -You should be proud. -It was a toy boat! 1306 01:08:07,041 --> 01:08:09,835 -A penis-shaped toy boat? -Seventy thousand likes? 1307 01:08:09,919 --> 01:08:10,878 Let me see that. 1308 01:08:14,131 --> 01:08:15,382 I am so mad at her. 1309 01:08:15,466 --> 01:08:17,384 -Just breathe. Stop. -So... 1310 01:08:21,764 --> 01:08:22,640 I forgive you. 1311 01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:25,559 Okay, good. 1312 01:08:27,228 --> 01:08:29,271 Did you tell Larry he has a grandchild? 1313 01:08:29,814 --> 01:08:31,107 I'm gonna go to the store. 1314 01:08:31,816 --> 01:08:32,650 Yes. 1315 01:08:32,733 --> 01:08:34,777 And he respected my decision. 1316 01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:36,195 I'm sure he did. 1317 01:08:38,447 --> 01:08:40,282 It does not matter anyway, Mom. 1318 01:08:40,950 --> 01:08:42,660 Dad does not have a grandchild. 1319 01:08:42,743 --> 01:08:44,703 -You do not have a grandchild. -I know. 1320 01:08:44,787 --> 01:08:46,163 I do not have a daughter. 1321 01:08:46,247 --> 01:08:47,790 This was sperm only. 1322 01:08:47,873 --> 01:08:50,167 Oh, Paul, it's a girl? 1323 01:08:54,171 --> 01:08:55,172 I'm going home. 1324 01:08:56,257 --> 01:08:57,591 I shouldn't have come. 1325 01:08:58,092 --> 01:09:01,303 Well, what did you think was gonna happen, Mom? 1326 01:09:03,013 --> 01:09:04,974 I thought you wouldn't let me in. 1327 01:09:05,432 --> 01:09:06,559 That was an option? 1328 01:09:08,060 --> 01:09:09,103 You're popular. 1329 01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:11,147 You're successful. 1330 01:09:12,064 --> 01:09:14,108 Mom, you make it sound so depressing. 1331 01:09:14,191 --> 01:09:17,528 No, this is what's supposed to happen to children. 1332 01:09:18,612 --> 01:09:20,406 You're fully independent. 1333 01:09:20,823 --> 01:09:23,617 Mom, why does it feel like we're breaking up? 1334 01:09:23,701 --> 01:09:26,537 Matthew, I need to tell you something. 1335 01:09:27,037 --> 01:09:30,791 Your dad didn't want me at your games. That's why I didn't go. 1336 01:09:32,209 --> 01:09:33,878 I thought he drove you too hard. 1337 01:09:33,961 --> 01:09:36,964 And we would argue about it, and finally, he said, 1338 01:09:37,047 --> 01:09:39,300 "Well, stop coming if it bothers you." 1339 01:09:40,134 --> 01:09:41,468 So, I did. 1340 01:09:43,220 --> 01:09:45,639 And then all the trophies started rolling in, 1341 01:09:45,723 --> 01:09:48,517 and I thought he was right and I was wrong. 1342 01:09:50,060 --> 01:09:52,313 And now it turns out that I was right. 1343 01:09:54,356 --> 01:09:57,193 And what's so ironic is that... 1344 01:09:58,694 --> 01:10:01,614 you did need me then, and you don't need me now. 1345 01:10:02,531 --> 01:10:04,074 Mom, I'm fine. 1346 01:10:05,409 --> 01:10:08,120 -Right? I turned out fine, right? -Matthew... 1347 01:10:08,829 --> 01:10:10,789 You know who you are without me. 1348 01:10:13,459 --> 01:10:16,003 I need to figure out who I am without you. 1349 01:10:29,516 --> 01:10:32,770 So, apparently, the one who didn't carry the baby 1350 01:10:32,853 --> 01:10:35,522 is saying that her mother is the daddy granny, 1351 01:10:35,606 --> 01:10:38,150 so, I'm not anything. 1352 01:10:38,525 --> 01:10:41,362 And they even had the gall to tell Paul 1353 01:10:41,445 --> 01:10:43,948 they didn't want me to even see Ella. 1354 01:10:44,031 --> 01:10:46,325 -Well, what changed their mind? -Nothing. 1355 01:10:46,408 --> 01:10:48,244 And you know what is most unfair? 1356 01:10:48,327 --> 01:10:49,578 I always wanted a girl. 1357 01:10:49,662 --> 01:10:50,913 Larry was one and done, 1358 01:10:50,996 --> 01:10:53,165 but I would've had three if he hadn't been-- 1359 01:10:53,249 --> 01:10:55,834 Wait, why are we here if you can't see the kid? 1360 01:10:55,918 --> 01:10:58,671 I could be hijacking Erin's moving van right now. 1361 01:10:58,754 --> 01:11:02,049 -It's not a perfect plan, but it's a plan. -I thought we were going home. 1362 01:11:02,132 --> 01:11:04,593 Yeah, we are. We're just stopping in Cobble Hill first. 1363 01:11:04,677 --> 01:11:08,222 I convinced Paul to give me the address. I don't want to show up empty-handed. 1364 01:11:08,305 --> 01:11:11,809 Well, we weren't wanted by our sons. That didn't stop us. 1365 01:11:11,892 --> 01:11:15,062 Yeah, I am so tired of being stopped. 1366 01:11:15,271 --> 01:11:19,400 Larry said if it meant so much to me to have a girl, I should've had twins. 1367 01:11:19,483 --> 01:11:21,485 Larry, Larry, Larry! Enough with Larry! 1368 01:11:21,568 --> 01:11:24,738 We never want to hear his name again. We never even liked him. 1369 01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:29,868 Look, you've been divorced from that idiot for 11 years. 1370 01:11:29,952 --> 01:11:32,371 You still talk about him in the present tense. 1371 01:11:32,746 --> 01:11:34,957 You're wasting a good marriage 1372 01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:37,251 because you refuse to let go of a bad one. 1373 01:11:37,334 --> 01:11:39,670 -What about baby yoga mats? -Are you jealous? 1374 01:11:39,753 --> 01:11:41,547 -Is that what this is about? -What? 1375 01:11:41,630 --> 01:11:44,174 You're jealous that I'm the one that has a grandchild? 1376 01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:45,217 -Oh, Helen. -What? 1377 01:11:45,301 --> 01:11:48,012 We are thrilled that you get to meet Ella today. 1378 01:11:48,387 --> 01:11:50,973 I think what Gillian is trying to say 1379 01:11:51,056 --> 01:11:53,309 is that you have something special in Frank. 1380 01:11:53,684 --> 01:11:57,271 The way he looks at you, the way he talks about you. 1381 01:11:57,354 --> 01:12:01,525 You have no idea how fortunate you are to have Frank instead of Larry. 1382 01:12:01,608 --> 01:12:02,776 We're not jealous of you. 1383 01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:05,904 Paul went in a room and jerked off. If that makes you a grandmother, 1384 01:12:05,988 --> 01:12:08,365 -then we're all grandmothers. -Let's stop, all right? 1385 01:12:08,449 --> 01:12:12,161 We've already pissed off our sons. We are all that we have left. 1386 01:12:12,786 --> 01:12:14,204 Jealous? 1387 01:12:14,288 --> 01:12:16,290 Oh, my God. 1388 01:12:16,707 --> 01:12:18,542 What is wrong with you, Helen? 1389 01:12:22,171 --> 01:12:23,422 Okay. 1390 01:12:23,881 --> 01:12:25,424 I'm gonna tell you what's wrong. 1391 01:12:25,507 --> 01:12:27,384 And it has been brewing for 11 years. 1392 01:12:27,718 --> 01:12:29,845 You know why I divorced Larry, right? 1393 01:12:29,928 --> 01:12:31,055 Yeah. He cheated on you. 1394 01:12:31,138 --> 01:12:34,016 Yeah. It was that year our husbands went on that fishing trip 1395 01:12:34,099 --> 01:12:35,309 -to the Berkshires. -Right. 1396 01:12:35,392 --> 01:12:36,935 Okay, Helen. You win. 1397 01:12:37,019 --> 01:12:40,064 And Larry had a fuck buddy up there, and I found out about it, 1398 01:12:40,147 --> 01:12:43,108 and I had the courage and the self-dignity to leave. 1399 01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:45,319 He was paying her rent from Paul's college fund. 1400 01:12:45,652 --> 01:12:47,571 She was an anorexic blonde vegan, 1401 01:12:47,654 --> 01:12:50,949 and she had a friend for Gillian's husband. 1402 01:12:51,992 --> 01:12:54,828 Joel cheated on Gillian just like Larry cheated on me, 1403 01:12:54,912 --> 01:12:56,330 but she forgave him. 1404 01:12:56,413 --> 01:13:00,918 I don't expect you to understand why I forgave Joel, 1405 01:13:01,001 --> 01:13:03,962 because the only person you've ever truly loved is yourself. 1406 01:13:04,338 --> 01:13:06,757 Not Larry, and not Frank, 1407 01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:10,886 and not Carol, or me, or your new "spermdaughter," 1408 01:13:10,969 --> 01:13:12,805 not even your own son! 1409 01:13:13,722 --> 01:13:17,017 The only person you ever loved was you. 1410 01:13:17,726 --> 01:13:18,560 Okay. 1411 01:13:18,977 --> 01:13:21,397 Well, if you are so much better at loving, 1412 01:13:21,480 --> 01:13:25,275 then why is your son the one who's broke, depressed, and jobless? 1413 01:13:26,527 --> 01:13:27,611 I'll tell you why. 1414 01:13:28,028 --> 01:13:30,781 Because you sabotaged his chance at happiness. 1415 01:13:31,323 --> 01:13:34,701 -That is bullshit, and you know it. -Is it? He had a ring. 1416 01:13:34,868 --> 01:13:35,869 But you... 1417 01:13:35,953 --> 01:13:38,997 You planted so many doubts. 1418 01:13:39,081 --> 01:13:41,250 Not just about Erin, but about himself, 1419 01:13:41,333 --> 01:13:43,627 so that when he finally had the balls to propose, 1420 01:13:43,710 --> 01:13:45,754 he caught Erin schtupping her trainer. 1421 01:13:45,838 --> 01:13:47,423 I think Daniel would've mentioned-- 1422 01:13:47,506 --> 01:13:49,675 He didn't want to give you the satisfaction. 1423 01:13:49,758 --> 01:13:51,760 You hated Erin until ten minutes ago. 1424 01:13:51,844 --> 01:13:53,387 Paul told me. 1425 01:13:53,929 --> 01:13:55,055 Did you know about this? 1426 01:14:00,310 --> 01:14:03,063 I think Matt mentioned something once about a ring. 1427 01:14:03,147 --> 01:14:05,816 -Helen. About that fishing trip. -No. 1428 01:14:06,024 --> 01:14:09,528 -Carol, let's just go now. -And Paul jerked off to create a person. 1429 01:14:09,611 --> 01:14:11,613 Helen, in the Berkshires... 1430 01:14:14,408 --> 01:14:17,161 did the vegan have someone for Finn? 1431 01:14:19,329 --> 01:14:21,707 I'm sorry. She was full of friends. 1432 01:14:30,174 --> 01:14:31,383 All this time... 1433 01:14:32,468 --> 01:14:35,012 and neither of you said anything to me. 1434 01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:40,767 And I thought we were friends. 1435 01:14:43,520 --> 01:14:44,396 Oh, fuck. 1436 01:14:44,813 --> 01:14:46,190 You're taking a train home. 1437 01:14:48,859 --> 01:14:51,820 -Please, don't leave. You guys, I'm sorry! -Let me drive you home. 1438 01:14:51,904 --> 01:14:54,031 Carol, I'm sorry! Gillian, wait! 1439 01:14:54,114 --> 01:14:55,657 -Don't leave! -Stop. 1440 01:14:56,909 --> 01:14:59,536 That was bad! 1441 01:15:59,429 --> 01:16:01,723 Open the door or I'm gonna start singing! 1442 01:16:02,266 --> 01:16:05,561 Do you need directions home? I can show you how to Waze. 1443 01:16:06,645 --> 01:16:08,522 I don't want the government tracking me. 1444 01:16:08,939 --> 01:16:11,900 -Would it kill you to answer your phone? -I've been working. 1445 01:16:12,109 --> 01:16:13,777 -On what? -My novel. 1446 01:16:14,194 --> 01:16:15,654 I finally got inspired. 1447 01:16:15,737 --> 01:16:18,699 It's about an overbearing mother. It's called Baking and Entering. 1448 01:16:19,366 --> 01:16:21,201 Daniel, this is important. 1449 01:16:21,535 --> 01:16:23,203 Do you still have the ring? 1450 01:16:26,206 --> 01:16:27,040 What ring? 1451 01:16:27,749 --> 01:16:30,168 The one you were planning on giving Erin. 1452 01:16:31,086 --> 01:16:33,213 Honey, why didn't you say anything? 1453 01:16:33,714 --> 01:16:37,259 Well, you never liked her anyway, Ma. So, what's the difference? 1454 01:16:37,342 --> 01:16:41,221 Well, what do I know? I'm just some weird internet stalker. 1455 01:16:42,222 --> 01:16:43,140 And I was wrong. 1456 01:16:43,223 --> 01:16:46,101 I always wondered what it'd be like to hear you say those words. 1457 01:16:46,184 --> 01:16:48,437 And as it turns out, you were actually right, so... 1458 01:16:48,520 --> 01:16:49,354 No. 1459 01:16:50,063 --> 01:16:53,066 She's a lovely woman, and you're a lovely man. 1460 01:16:54,318 --> 01:16:56,278 So, if you have that ring, 1461 01:16:57,279 --> 01:16:59,364 and if she is the love of your life, 1462 01:16:59,948 --> 01:17:02,909 then do something before it is too late. 1463 01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:07,748 Because for all you know, she might be packing her bags and leaving town... 1464 01:17:08,123 --> 01:17:09,041 or something. 1465 01:17:12,085 --> 01:17:12,919 I love you. 1466 01:17:13,253 --> 01:17:14,421 You're a grown man. 1467 01:17:15,547 --> 01:17:18,759 I just hope you do what is best for your life and your future. 1468 01:17:18,842 --> 01:17:21,178 Did you see her somewhere or something? 1469 01:17:21,428 --> 01:17:22,346 Ma, wait. 1470 01:17:23,805 --> 01:17:26,141 Mom! Did you break into her place, too? 1471 01:18:17,192 --> 01:18:18,026 Hello! 1472 01:18:24,950 --> 01:18:27,077 Is there a reason you're following me? 1473 01:18:28,745 --> 01:18:30,664 Paul said you wouldn't listen to us. 1474 01:18:32,165 --> 01:18:34,501 It's okay, honey. It's okay. 1475 01:18:36,253 --> 01:18:37,587 What is it that you want? 1476 01:18:39,756 --> 01:18:40,590 I... 1477 01:18:41,258 --> 01:18:42,092 I don't want... 1478 01:18:42,968 --> 01:18:46,471 anything. I'm not asking for anything. I'm just... 1479 01:18:47,097 --> 01:18:48,515 saying what I am. 1480 01:18:50,225 --> 01:18:51,393 A grandmother. 1481 01:18:52,477 --> 01:18:54,062 She has grandmothers. 1482 01:18:59,359 --> 01:19:01,778 I brought a few... 1483 01:19:04,614 --> 01:19:05,741 hundred gifts. 1484 01:19:08,452 --> 01:19:10,704 Look, we talked about this before the birth. 1485 01:19:10,787 --> 01:19:11,955 We adore Paul. 1486 01:19:12,372 --> 01:19:15,208 We do, and we want Ella to know Paul. 1487 01:19:15,459 --> 01:19:18,837 We hope she gets some of his great qualities. That's why we chose him. 1488 01:19:19,963 --> 01:19:21,214 But he's not the dad. 1489 01:19:21,298 --> 01:19:22,841 He's a sperm donor, okay? 1490 01:19:22,924 --> 01:19:24,926 We all agreed. We signed papers. 1491 01:19:29,055 --> 01:19:29,890 But... 1492 01:19:30,891 --> 01:19:32,225 now that I have her... 1493 01:19:33,685 --> 01:19:35,896 and now that I know what it feels like... 1494 01:19:37,105 --> 01:19:39,399 when she has a baby, if... 1495 01:19:40,400 --> 01:19:41,610 she has a baby... 1496 01:19:42,652 --> 01:19:44,446 if I couldn't see that baby... 1497 01:19:46,990 --> 01:19:49,993 I'd probably chase that baby all over the city, too. 1498 01:19:54,039 --> 01:19:55,207 It's okay, honey. 1499 01:20:04,299 --> 01:20:06,384 She looks just like Paul did. 1500 01:20:10,680 --> 01:20:12,307 Would you like to hold her? 1501 01:20:14,684 --> 01:20:15,519 Come on. 1502 01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:17,896 -Say hi. -Hi. 1503 01:20:19,731 --> 01:20:21,316 Hi! 1504 01:20:22,400 --> 01:20:23,360 Hi! 1505 01:20:25,111 --> 01:20:27,280 -Hi. -That's a good girl. 1506 01:20:27,989 --> 01:20:32,077 I want to be a good grandmother. A good one. Not a bad one. 1507 01:20:36,623 --> 01:20:39,543 Honey, five weeks is not late. 1508 01:20:39,626 --> 01:20:41,711 Five weeks is abandonment. 1509 01:20:42,212 --> 01:20:44,714 It sounds like she waited a long time for you. 1510 01:20:45,090 --> 01:20:46,466 All right, Ma. You know what? 1511 01:20:46,550 --> 01:20:49,803 You and Dad have, like, your perfect story, so, you wouldn't... 1512 01:20:49,886 --> 01:20:51,763 No. There is no perfect story. 1513 01:20:53,056 --> 01:20:54,140 In fact... 1514 01:20:56,393 --> 01:21:00,063 years ago, your father had an infidelity. 1515 01:21:09,447 --> 01:21:11,116 Before I was born or after? 1516 01:21:13,493 --> 01:21:15,370 You were 16. 1517 01:21:19,082 --> 01:21:20,417 How'd you forgive him? 1518 01:21:23,461 --> 01:21:24,379 It wasn't easy. 1519 01:21:25,463 --> 01:21:27,382 I went crazy for a little while. 1520 01:21:27,465 --> 01:21:30,886 I went on this... fakakta five-week egg diet. 1521 01:21:30,969 --> 01:21:31,887 You remember? 1522 01:21:31,970 --> 01:21:33,638 Yes, I do. You were, like... 1523 01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:35,557 -You wanted chickens or something. -Yeah. 1524 01:21:35,640 --> 01:21:36,558 A chicken coop? 1525 01:21:38,393 --> 01:21:39,311 But... 1526 01:21:39,394 --> 01:21:40,604 I realized... 1527 01:21:41,521 --> 01:21:43,189 I still wanted your dad. 1528 01:21:45,233 --> 01:21:48,111 And I decided to do the harder thing and stay. 1529 01:21:51,573 --> 01:21:53,116 But I think what really... 1530 01:21:54,075 --> 01:21:56,536 made it possible for me to forgive him... 1531 01:21:57,454 --> 01:21:58,288 was... 1532 01:21:58,705 --> 01:22:01,082 he never fully forgave himself. 1533 01:22:04,127 --> 01:22:05,629 Mom, I really admire you. 1534 01:22:07,047 --> 01:22:09,633 And I get why you're sharing this story with me. 1535 01:22:12,552 --> 01:22:14,471 I just don't think I'm built like that. 1536 01:22:18,892 --> 01:22:20,101 This is your life. 1537 01:22:20,769 --> 01:22:24,648 This big, bruised, bloody, beautiful thing. 1538 01:22:24,731 --> 01:22:27,692 This is your life. I'm not going to tell you what to do. 1539 01:22:27,776 --> 01:22:28,693 Since when? 1540 01:22:29,527 --> 01:22:30,737 Since today. 1541 01:22:31,404 --> 01:22:32,781 -Okay. -Daniel, hey. 1542 01:22:33,573 --> 01:22:37,285 You have been under the water for a long time. 1543 01:22:39,329 --> 01:22:40,580 But when you come up, 1544 01:22:41,873 --> 01:22:44,125 you need to decide what life you want. 1545 01:22:48,713 --> 01:22:49,631 You got this. 1546 01:22:51,007 --> 01:22:51,841 I love you. 1547 01:22:54,344 --> 01:22:55,178 Ma. 1548 01:22:56,638 --> 01:22:58,598 I think I'm locked out of my apartment. 1549 01:22:58,682 --> 01:23:00,308 Use the window. That's what I do. 1550 01:23:01,017 --> 01:23:01,977 I'm out! 1551 01:24:21,848 --> 01:24:22,766 Hi. 1552 01:24:23,141 --> 01:24:24,601 You're back. 1553 01:24:28,438 --> 01:24:30,356 What's the matter, sweetheart? 1554 01:24:30,940 --> 01:24:32,150 You and Paul have a fight? 1555 01:24:33,276 --> 01:24:34,110 Several. 1556 01:24:34,819 --> 01:24:35,779 And Gillian. 1557 01:24:36,071 --> 01:24:36,905 And Carol. 1558 01:24:37,781 --> 01:24:39,866 We didn't even drive back together. 1559 01:24:40,533 --> 01:24:41,576 Everyone is... 1560 01:24:42,619 --> 01:24:43,953 sick of me, 1561 01:24:44,037 --> 01:24:45,705 and... so am I. 1562 01:24:48,708 --> 01:24:50,794 Frank, why did you marry me? 1563 01:24:51,002 --> 01:24:51,836 What? 1564 01:24:52,212 --> 01:24:55,673 Well, I think what everybody wonders is why you married me. 1565 01:24:56,174 --> 01:24:57,509 No, really. 1566 01:24:58,426 --> 01:24:59,385 Why? 1567 01:25:00,845 --> 01:25:01,930 You're kind. 1568 01:25:02,806 --> 01:25:05,308 And you're smart. You're funny as hell. 1569 01:25:05,642 --> 01:25:07,519 You have a lot of love to give. 1570 01:25:07,602 --> 01:25:10,146 -I do, right? -Yes. 1571 01:25:10,522 --> 01:25:11,940 And you're opinionated, 1572 01:25:12,857 --> 01:25:13,942 and passionate. 1573 01:25:15,151 --> 01:25:18,154 Sometimes you have sharp edges, and I like that. 1574 01:25:19,155 --> 01:25:20,657 You tell it like it is. 1575 01:25:22,033 --> 01:25:22,867 My... 1576 01:25:23,576 --> 01:25:24,452 looks? 1577 01:25:24,828 --> 01:25:27,664 Oh, you think I married you for your personality? 1578 01:25:29,916 --> 01:25:31,417 You come in a very... 1579 01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:33,586 beautiful package. 1580 01:25:35,046 --> 01:25:37,715 But that's not all there is to Helen Halston. 1581 01:25:39,843 --> 01:25:42,554 I am so lucky. 1582 01:25:44,139 --> 01:25:45,014 I'm so... 1583 01:25:50,103 --> 01:25:52,063 -Oh, really? -Yes. We're doing it. 1584 01:26:02,824 --> 01:26:03,825 Thanks for coming. 1585 01:26:04,409 --> 01:26:05,952 Your texts wore me down. 1586 01:26:07,954 --> 01:26:09,164 Did you bring a pen? 1587 01:26:19,465 --> 01:26:22,510 -Hey, Mrs. Walker. More flowers. -It must be some mistake. 1588 01:26:23,052 --> 01:26:24,679 I didn't order any flowers. 1589 01:26:25,471 --> 01:26:26,806 There's a note with them. 1590 01:26:28,099 --> 01:26:31,561 Her favorite flower is... an Iris. 1591 01:26:31,811 --> 01:26:33,271 Well, thank you, Shawn. 1592 01:26:33,354 --> 01:26:35,190 And I know that because she told me 1593 01:26:35,273 --> 01:26:37,525 when she asked me for ten things I know about her. 1594 01:26:38,026 --> 01:26:41,154 -Then you can't use it. -What? Yes, I can. It's a freebie. 1595 01:26:41,237 --> 01:26:43,865 If you can't think of ten things you know about your mother 1596 01:26:43,948 --> 01:26:46,534 without one of them being something she flat-out told you, 1597 01:26:46,618 --> 01:26:47,785 then you're a shitty son. 1598 01:26:47,869 --> 01:26:49,370 I am not a shitty son. 1599 01:26:49,662 --> 01:26:52,165 Then think about why you love her and write it down. 1600 01:26:54,834 --> 01:26:58,046 I know she loved my father, and he wasn't that lovable. 1601 01:26:58,463 --> 01:27:00,131 He was always working. 1602 01:27:00,673 --> 01:27:03,218 Even when we played, it was work. 1603 01:27:04,677 --> 01:27:06,888 My mom was the one who taught me how to have fun. 1604 01:27:08,181 --> 01:27:09,974 When I was a kid, she used to... 1605 01:27:10,308 --> 01:27:12,685 read me these bedtime stories, and... 1606 01:27:13,269 --> 01:27:15,521 she'd pretend there was one more page. 1607 01:27:18,816 --> 01:27:21,069 And we'd make up a new ending. 1608 01:27:26,074 --> 01:27:27,867 -Write that down. -Oh, yeah. 1609 01:27:29,327 --> 01:27:31,454 She did a lot of art when I was a kid. 1610 01:27:31,829 --> 01:27:33,206 Pen and ink note cards, 1611 01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:35,625 oil paintings from photographs. 1612 01:27:36,709 --> 01:27:38,378 This one time, she did this... 1613 01:27:40,338 --> 01:27:41,714 great mural on my wall. 1614 01:27:45,843 --> 01:27:46,678 One: 1615 01:27:47,053 --> 01:27:48,554 You loved my father. 1616 01:27:51,099 --> 01:27:51,933 Two: 1617 01:27:52,725 --> 01:27:54,519 You taught me how to have fun. 1618 01:27:56,479 --> 01:27:57,313 Three: 1619 01:27:57,939 --> 01:27:59,607 You could have been an artist. 1620 01:28:00,233 --> 01:28:01,109 Number four: 1621 01:28:01,609 --> 01:28:03,069 She thinks you're a good person. 1622 01:28:04,570 --> 01:28:05,530 No, she doesn't. 1623 01:28:05,613 --> 01:28:06,489 She told me. 1624 01:28:07,532 --> 01:28:10,034 She told you that she thinks that I'm good? 1625 01:28:10,952 --> 01:28:13,705 You could write she's the only person who thinks you're good. 1626 01:28:15,999 --> 01:28:17,709 I never knew that she thought that. 1627 01:28:18,459 --> 01:28:19,335 Four: 1628 01:28:19,419 --> 01:28:22,672 You're the only person in the world who thinks I'm good. 1629 01:28:23,965 --> 01:28:24,799 Five: 1630 01:28:25,550 --> 01:28:28,177 You made me feel loved and safe. 1631 01:28:28,928 --> 01:28:29,762 Six: 1632 01:28:30,346 --> 01:28:34,058 You cut up fruit for my snacks even when I begged for junk food. 1633 01:28:35,310 --> 01:28:36,144 Seven: 1634 01:28:36,811 --> 01:28:39,731 You still call me, even when I ignore you. 1635 01:28:40,565 --> 01:28:41,399 Thank you. 1636 01:28:42,650 --> 01:28:43,484 Eight: 1637 01:28:43,860 --> 01:28:46,279 The only times I've ever seen you angry 1638 01:28:46,362 --> 01:28:49,115 are times you deserved to be angrier. 1639 01:28:50,992 --> 01:28:51,826 Nine: 1640 01:28:52,618 --> 01:28:53,870 You love to dance. 1641 01:28:55,913 --> 01:28:56,748 Ten: 1642 01:28:57,457 --> 01:28:58,499 You're my mother. 1643 01:29:00,251 --> 01:29:01,085 Eleven: 1644 01:29:01,961 --> 01:29:04,589 You taught me there is room in every story... 1645 01:29:05,590 --> 01:29:06,799 for a better ending. 1646 01:29:23,941 --> 01:29:24,776 Erin! 1647 01:29:27,862 --> 01:29:28,696 Erin! 1648 01:29:30,198 --> 01:29:31,032 Erin! 1649 01:29:33,242 --> 01:29:34,118 Erin! 1650 01:29:36,120 --> 01:29:37,080 Erin! 1651 01:29:39,832 --> 01:29:40,792 Erin! 1652 01:29:45,463 --> 01:29:46,631 Erin, wait up! 1653 01:29:50,927 --> 01:29:51,761 I really... 1654 01:29:51,844 --> 01:29:52,678 I need to... 1655 01:29:53,012 --> 01:29:54,347 get to the gym more often. 1656 01:29:54,430 --> 01:29:55,765 What are you doing? 1657 01:29:56,015 --> 01:29:57,141 What are you doing? 1658 01:29:57,225 --> 01:29:58,434 I'm moving to L.A. 1659 01:29:58,893 --> 01:29:59,727 Well... 1660 01:30:01,479 --> 01:30:03,564 -Can I talk to you first? -About what? 1661 01:30:03,648 --> 01:30:04,649 About us. 1662 01:30:04,732 --> 01:30:05,608 Oh, my... 1663 01:30:05,691 --> 01:30:08,361 It's too late, Daniel. My whole life is in this truck. 1664 01:30:09,529 --> 01:30:11,739 That's funny. I was just thinking the same thing. 1665 01:30:13,991 --> 01:30:15,159 You're not gonna stop me. 1666 01:30:16,744 --> 01:30:17,578 Okay. 1667 01:30:18,246 --> 01:30:19,080 Okay. 1668 01:30:21,541 --> 01:30:23,084 Can we talk on the way? 1669 01:30:23,626 --> 01:30:25,420 -You don't have anything to do? -Please. 1670 01:30:25,795 --> 01:30:28,256 -You're gonna drive me to L.A.? -I'm coming to L.A. 1671 01:30:28,631 --> 01:30:29,841 I'm coming with you. 1672 01:30:30,466 --> 01:30:31,509 Coming to L.A. 1673 01:30:32,510 --> 01:30:33,344 I'm sorry. 1674 01:30:33,428 --> 01:30:34,303 Sorry! 1675 01:30:34,387 --> 01:30:35,263 I'm sorry. 1676 01:30:37,640 --> 01:30:38,766 I'm sorry, too. 1677 01:30:41,269 --> 01:30:44,480 -Do you know how to drive one of these? -I have no idea what I'm doing. 1678 01:31:01,998 --> 01:31:03,249 Hey, where you going? 1679 01:31:04,959 --> 01:31:06,878 I swear she looks like both of you. 1680 01:31:06,961 --> 01:31:09,213 To be honest, we think she looks like your mother. 1681 01:31:09,714 --> 01:31:10,548 Acts like it. 1682 01:31:11,549 --> 01:31:13,926 -Oh, my goodness! -Speaking of the devil. 1683 01:31:14,010 --> 01:31:16,679 -Or angel, depending who you ask. -Who's that? 1684 01:31:16,888 --> 01:31:18,973 Grandma loves Ella! 1685 01:31:19,056 --> 01:31:20,141 Yay, look who it is! 1686 01:31:20,224 --> 01:31:21,851 -Grandma! -There's Grandma! 1687 01:31:21,934 --> 01:31:23,227 -Say hi to Grandma. -And you, 1688 01:31:23,311 --> 01:31:25,688 -and you, and you. -Hi. 1689 01:31:26,147 --> 01:31:27,148 -And you. -Hi. 1690 01:31:28,858 --> 01:31:31,819 This is kind of a complicated garment, isn't it? 1691 01:31:31,903 --> 01:31:35,239 My mother's at her son's semi-Jewish wedding, and she's still complaining. 1692 01:31:35,323 --> 01:31:37,825 You're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding. 1693 01:31:37,909 --> 01:31:41,162 I know, but we broke a few rules already. I think we can break one more. 1694 01:31:41,746 --> 01:31:43,873 Well, he's got a point. We can show him. 1695 01:31:53,090 --> 01:31:54,091 Thanks, Ma. 1696 01:31:55,301 --> 01:31:56,219 For everything. 1697 01:32:04,143 --> 01:32:05,478 No one's gonna notice. 1698 01:32:07,271 --> 01:32:09,398 There's just one little thing, though. 1699 01:32:10,525 --> 01:32:12,109 It's too late for a thing. 1700 01:32:12,193 --> 01:32:15,446 I know, but this is really an important thing. 1701 01:32:16,072 --> 01:32:18,115 I think we should rehearse the kiss again. 1702 01:32:19,909 --> 01:32:21,494 Hi! 1703 01:32:32,964 --> 01:32:36,092 I'm still so angry, I can barely stand to look at you. 1704 01:32:36,467 --> 01:32:38,386 I know. Thank you for the invitation. 1705 01:32:38,469 --> 01:32:40,680 I invited Frank. You're his plus one. 1706 01:32:41,180 --> 01:32:43,558 -Did you get my messages? -Yeah, about 20 of them. 1707 01:32:43,641 --> 01:32:46,602 -Did you get my texts? -"Stop calling me." 1708 01:32:47,562 --> 01:32:48,396 You know... 1709 01:32:49,355 --> 01:32:52,483 I am kind of responsible for this whole wedding. 1710 01:32:52,567 --> 01:32:54,944 I mean, if we hadn't gone to New York... 1711 01:32:55,278 --> 01:32:58,030 So, now we're considering that trip a success? 1712 01:32:58,114 --> 01:33:00,157 Well, look at where we are, and... 1713 01:33:00,241 --> 01:33:02,493 And Carol's in Italy. 1714 01:33:02,868 --> 01:33:04,620 She didn't even RSVP. 1715 01:33:04,704 --> 01:33:07,623 She's probably too busy painting, eating pizza, 1716 01:33:08,165 --> 01:33:10,251 taking Italian lovers... 1717 01:33:10,334 --> 01:33:13,296 I'm sure she's miserable since she sold that house. 1718 01:33:18,509 --> 01:33:20,177 Don't start the wedding without us! 1719 01:33:21,721 --> 01:33:22,888 I knew she would come! 1720 01:33:22,972 --> 01:33:25,558 I missed her so much more than I missed you. 1721 01:33:25,641 --> 01:33:27,018 Same here. Only double. 1722 01:33:27,727 --> 01:33:29,395 Oh, it's just his date. 1723 01:33:30,062 --> 01:33:33,024 She's too old to be his date. She's, like, his age. 1724 01:33:37,361 --> 01:33:39,196 Oh, my God! 1725 01:33:39,572 --> 01:33:41,574 Oh, my God! 1726 01:33:42,992 --> 01:33:43,826 Yes! 1727 01:33:48,748 --> 01:33:50,291 I heard there was cake. 1728 01:33:50,374 --> 01:33:52,251 You don't call, you don't write. 1729 01:33:52,335 --> 01:33:54,712 Oh, we missed you so much! 1730 01:33:55,504 --> 01:33:58,049 -You look so glamorous. -So do you. 1731 01:33:59,717 --> 01:34:02,428 By the way, I brought bourbon. 1732 01:34:03,095 --> 01:34:05,139 Oh, no! Not again! 1733 01:34:05,222 --> 01:34:07,183 Of course you did. 1734 01:36:22,777 --> 01:36:23,611 Yeah. 1735 01:36:38,083 --> 01:36:39,043 You're driving. 1736 01:37:25,256 --> 01:37:26,090 All right. 1737 01:37:44,525 --> 01:37:45,651 Get out of the car! 1738 01:37:47,570 --> 01:37:48,529 Let me out! 1739 01:38:35,910 --> 01:38:37,244 Oh, I'm out of breath.