MARTHA: You know, you think that when you get old,
you'll pass on all your junk to your kids,
and it'll become their problem to deal with when you're gone.
Guess what?
I never had any kids, and I've got a whole lot of junk.
Morning. WOMAN: Hi.
Can I help you with anything? You want anything?
WOMAN: Thank you. Just looking.
(MARTHA SIGHING)
MARTHA". So here I am.
I'll give it to you for $30, it's okay.
You can have this. Look.
That's $15. Thanks.
Got that? $35.
I just love estate sales,
you know, 'cause they, like, give you a glimpse into a person's life.
$83.50.
Did you know the owner?
I did.
HOW did she die? Cancer.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Who was she?
Nice choice.
Thank you very much.
I have lived in this same apartment for 46 years.
I don't know where the years have gone.
Oh, my God.
Ah. My mom. She used to say that we don't die.
We live on through the memories we leave behind.
(SIGHS)
Good-bye.
I guess this is it for me.
(SINGING) Sometimes I'm tired
And I wonder what's so all-fired important
About being someplace at some time
Oh, but I don't really mind
'Cause I could be on Easy Street
And I know that you've got to take the bitter with the sweet
I guess it gets to everyone
You think you're not having any fun
And you wonder what you're doing
Playing the games you play
Hey, well It's true what they say
If you want to feel complete
Don't you know that you've got to take the bitter with the sweet
(OVER PHONE) Hi, Martha. This is Lindsay from Dr. Lee's office.
You missed your appointment this morning.
MARTHA: I'd like to cancel, actually. Uh...
No, I mean, what I'm saying is,
I'd like to cancel all my appointments.
But your chemo starts next week.
You should really just speak with... MARTHA: No, Lindsay.
I'm not doing the treatment.
(SINGING) A friend of mine once told me
And I know he knows all about feelin' down
He said everything good in life you've got to pay for
But feelin' good is what you're paving the way for
Na-Na-Na-Na-Na
MARTHA: Come on!
Well... (SCOFFS) Anytime.
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Sorry, but... Yeah.
WOMAN: Lenny. LENNY: Okay.
Go on by. WOMAN: Go ahead.
(SIGHS)
MARTHA: What?
Hi.
Hey there!
Oh, my God.
(SINGING) And I can tell you that it's true
It's a feeling that can't be beat
And you've got to do it
Hi there! MAN: Hello!
You've got to take the bitter with the sweet
You've got to take You've got to take You've got to take
The bitter with the sweet
The bitter with the
Sweet, sweet, sweet
Oh, sweet
Oh!
Oh, shoot.
(GROANS)
Oh, my goodness. You must be Martha.
Huh? Oh.
I'm Vicki.
This is Gayle and Barbara. Hi!
Hello. We are the welcoming committee.
And this is for you.
On. on. (YELPS)
I'm sorry. Excuse me. I'm sorry. That's fine.
Don't worry about it. It's no problem. Anyway...
It's just a little Southern hospitality.
Now, what brings you to Sun Springs?
Oh, I'm just here to die.
Well, I think we can aim a little bit higher than that.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Let's get started with the tour.
Uh-huh. What do you mean, "the tour"?
You are official. Wait. Whoa.
Yeah, let's go. You gotta protect that pretty skin.
Yeah, that's right.
Tackle this one. We'll put that in your front yard.
WOMAN: All right, put your hands up. Come on. Don't be lazy.
We got everything you could ever need.
We've got three golf courses, two bowling alleys,
oh,an indoor pool
and the outdoor pool.
Yeah. The works.
I always say,
if you are bored in Sun Springs,
you just need to be watered.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
She always says that. She does?
VICKI: Let's move on.
All our residents are required to join at least one club.
MARTHA; Oh.
VICKI: Now, there are over 100 of 'em.
In the unlikely event that you can't find the right club for you...
Fun fact! What?
You can start your own. Mmm-hmm.
Gayle and I started a club called the Southern Belles.
Oh, is that a fact? I'm not allowed to join.
It's called the Southern Belles.
It's not called the Wisconsin Belles.
I don't know how many times I have to explain that to you.
Oh, and the biggest event of the year is the Senior Showcase.
Oh, my God. Oh. Really?
All of Sun Springs' talent on one stage.
GAYLE: The whole community comes out to watch.
It's a real hoot. You're gonna love it, Martha.
Well, I mean, I'll...
Obviously, l will be sure and check my calendar.
Great. But if you'll excuse me, ladies.
I just wanna say thanks for the tour.
I should get going, though. I really should.
No, you haven't done your safety training.
MARTHA: My what? VICKI: Safety training.
MARTHA: Uh-huh.
MAN: As chief of security, it's my job to keep our residents safe.
I run a team of highly trained volunteers, just like Dorris here.
Say hi, Dorris. Hi!
Hello, Dorris.
All tips are anonymous.
So if you see something, say something.
Like what?
Overgrown hedges.
Excessive lawn ornamentation.
If someone has their Christmas lights
on past New Year's. That's a big one.
Very big-
Well, are you authorized to use deadly force?
Excuse me?
Well, let's just say it's July,
and my neighbor hasn't taken down his Christmas lights.
Are you gonna have the guts to do what it takes?
Well...
Mostly we just issue citations.
I'm glad you find this so amusing.
(LAUGHS)
(GRUNTS)
(SCOFFS)
(SIGHS)
(EXHALES)
Oh, my God.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Hi!
Moving in. Oh.
I was hoping you'd be a man.
Excuse me?
Did you know single women outlive single men by almost 10 years?
And Lord knows there's not enough erections around here as it is.
Oh, we're talking erections, huh? Wow.
I'm Sheryl. I live next door. Sheryl.
Yes, Sheryl. Good to meet you.
Hey, you don't play poker, do you?
Because I run a weekly game.
And we could sure use another player.
It's all very hush-hush
because gambling's not allowed around here,
like most things that are worthwhile.
You should drop by tonight and say hi to the guys.
God, you know, it's been a very...
It's a long day for me. I just moved in.
But thanks. I really appreciate what you're...
The invitation's sweet.
I get it. It's really nice.
Thanks so much for coming by.
See ya. Great.
Oh, God. Bye.
Okay. (LOCK CLICKS)
(FAINT CHATTERING, LAUGHTER) (MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, my God.
Okay. That's it.
SHERYL: Okay.
Hey!
God damn it.
(CONTINUES KNOCKING)
Hello!
Oh, God.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Hello?
Yes.
We'll send somebody right over
Hey, Chief. What is it, Dorris?
Well, we got a 314 in progress over there on Pleasant Valley Drive.
Somebody's getting raped?
Well, now...
Mmm...
What's a noise complaint? That's a 315.
Oh. Well, yeah, that's the one.
MAN: It's Carl!
WOMAN: Carl? Come on.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR) Oh.
Hey.
You didn't call the cops on me, did you?
Because if there's a problem, I hope you can just come straight to me.
Well, of course. I mean, same goes for you.
Good. We need somewhere to hide.
Come on, guys.
I'm sorry, but...
SHERYL: This'd work. Over here!
MARTHA: Well, I... Howdy, ma'am.
Hello.
MAN: Get this out the way here.
Hey, Martha! You want a beer?
No, no. Thanks so much.
SHERYL: Okay. Let's go. MAN: Here we go.
SHERYL: Oh, thanks! Mmm-hmm.
There you go. Sorry about the intrusion.
MARTHA: No, that's fine. That's absolutely fine.
I really love having strange men in my house at all hours of the night.
(LAUGHS)
But who is that?
Oh, that's Ben. He's Sheryl's gardener.
MARTHA: Really?
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Okay. Thank you.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
MAN: All right, come on, ante up now.
MARTHA: What is this?
Evening, ma'am.
Evening. I just wanted to follow up on your call.
Don't worry. Everything's absolutely fine now.
No, ma'am, I'm afraid it is not.
It's never that quiet over there.
I didn't see anyone in the house,
but there were clear signs of subterfuge.
"Subterfuge"? Yes, ma'am.
It's like chicanery or evasion.
I just want you to know that Dorris and I will be on stakeout.
MARTHA: Thank you.
All right. Bye.
(CHATTER RESUMES)
MAN: That's on you, Sheryl.
Hey, Martha, you want a beer?
(IMITATES GUNSHOT) Good night, everyone.
We'll whisper.
(CHATTERING CONTINUES) (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
Just shut up.
Oh, God, I can't take it.
(HORN HONKS)
SHERYL: Hey! (HORN HONKS)
MARTHA: Oh! Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. SHERYL: Hey there!
Yeah. Hi. Hello. Hey.
I want to take you to lunch.
That isn't really necessary. To say thank you for last night.
Whoa. What a night, right? Come on.
I don't take "no" for an answer. I gathered that.
I bet you haven't got other plans.
Okay, fine. Come on, hop in. Hop in.
I got it. Okay. I'll get in right now. We're gonna be late.
I promise you'll love it.
(SINGING) Playing with the queen of hearts
SHERYL: So, what brings you to Sun Springs?
Well, I heard really good things about the Southern Belles.
Yeah. (LAUGHS) The Southern Belles.
Give me a break.
Bunch of mean ol' gals and their stupid club.
Hi, girls! WOMAN: Good to see you!
Hey.
What clubs do you belong to?
I just turn up, pretend I'm interested, and eat all the free food.
Will we be seeing you perform
at the Senior Showcase I've heard so much about?
Oh, no. My only talents are poker and poking.
"Poker and poking"?
Where are you taking me?
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
The real perk about this place
is that people are constantly dying.
They list all the funerals in the papers,
and there's always tons of free food.
Here. Put this in your purse. No,no,no,no.
Put it in your own purse. Okay? Thanks.
Mine's already full. Just shove it in.
No, I don't really want to. Oh, okay.
Shall we go pay our respects?
Okay, I'm out of here. Do you want to have a drink?
No, I'll have a drink later, thanks. I'm out of here.
(PHONE RINGING)
(OVER PHONE) Hey, Martha, it's Sheryl.
We're going to bingo, and we'd love for you to join us.
There's some great prizes.
Listen, I'm sorry
about taking you to that wake.
I know you didn't like it. I'm sorry. It was...
Anyway, give me a call, would you?
I haven't seen you, and I'd love to... You know, bingo's fun.
(PHONE RINGING)
SHERYL: (OVER PHONE) Oh, hi, Martha. I was hoping you'd pick up.
We're going bowling, and we'd love for you to join us.
I can teach you. It's simple. It's all in the wrist.
So give me a call, why don't you?
Bye.
(COUGHS, SIGHS)
(GROANS)
(JINGLE PLAYING) I'm Tim Nichols.
Now, death can be expensive.
There's the embalming, the caskets, the flowers,
the funeral and cemetery fees,
just to name a few.
Have you ever wondered if there's a better way?
Well, now there is.
Send your loved one off in style by sending their ashes up
in one of our custom-made funeral fireworks.
I guarantee they'll get a bang out of it.
(JINGLE ENDS) (FIREWORK WHISTLING)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(DOOR LOCK CLICKS) (DOOR OPENS)
What?
(SOFTLY) Oh, my God. What is this?
(BOTH SCREAMING)
What the hell are you doing?
What am I doing?
Oh, my God. I thought you were a burglar.
You haven't been out of this place for days.
I thought you'd slipped in the shower or something.
I was worried the cats were getting at you.
I don't have cats.
Jesus Christ!
You could've killed me with that thing.
Who are you?
Let's have some wine. Come on. Let's sit down.
Okay, yeah... (YELPS)
Oh, my God. Jesus Christ!
I'm really sorry about being such a bitch at the wake.
I was mad about something else, and, you know,
I shouldn't have taken it out on you.
No, I'm sorry for telling you what to do.
You're a grown-ass woman. You can do whatever you want.
Yeah.
What's this?
Oh, no. It's just a bunch of old junk.
You were a cheerleader?
Oh. Aren't you full of surprises.
Miss Pep Squad, queen of the campus.
Yeah, in another life, I guess you'd call it.
I used to just come running home, so that I could practice all afternoon.
And it drove my mom totally crazy.
That's how bad I wanted it. Yeah.
And I tried out three times, and I never made the cut.
But get this.
Finally, in my senior year, I made the varsity squad.
Better late than never. Yeah.
On the day before our first game,
I found out that my mother was
very sick, sol...
I quit the team, you know, and started to take care of her.
Yeah, and... (LAUGHS) Oh, my God.
You know, I never...
I never did perform.
No... It's nothing.
Maybe you should give it another shot.
Yeah, maybe the Dallas Cowgirls have an opening. Right?
Yeah.
You know what? What?
I really love this.
Mmm-hmm. I think it's kinda sexy.
Don't you think? Hey...
Could I borrow this?
No!
No, I can't? No, I mean, of course you can.
'Cause I'm taking pictures for my Jdate profile.
I didn't know you were Jewish. Oh, I'm not.
Hey.
I'm glad you're not cat food.
Yeah. Thanks.
See ya. Yeah, see you.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
MARTHA; Hello!
Hello?
Shh. Sheryl's not here.
Who are you anyway? I mean...
And don't give me that nonsense about being the gardener.
I live here. They don't let anyone under 55 live here,
so I gotta keep a low profile. Oh.
So, Sheryl likes 'em young, does she, huh?
What? Oh!
Sheryl is my grandma. What?
Oh.
Yeah.
And where is she anyway, huh?
She substitute teaches at my school when she needs the extra cash,
so she's down there.
Sheryl's a teacher?
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
If you can call it that. I pretend to be sick whenever she's there.
It's kind of humiliating.
Ms. Faris is away sick, so we'll be watching a movie.
Yes? What's the movie?
It's an educational video about the dangers of STDs.
Are you even qualified to be teaching us?
SHERYL: What's your name?
Chloe.
Well, Chloe, the State of Georgia has surprisingly low standards
for substitute teachers.
If you've got a problem with that, you take it up with your congressman.
Okay, but we're supposed to be studying Romeo and Juliet.
Well, today you'll be studying gonorrhea. (STUDENTS CHUCKLING)
WOMAN: (ON TV) So you wanna have sex.
You should know what's up before getting down.
KIDS: (ON TV) Yeah!
(SINGING) Sex can be fun But there's STDs
Some can be cured But some you can't treat
Uh-oh Herpes, oh, no
Hep B, uh-oh
What if it's HIV?
GIRL: And one, two, three, four...
So you're a teacher, huh?
Well, I like to think of myself as more of a life coach.
I was a teacher.
Yeah? Yes. Yes.
Do you ever miss it? Sometimes.
I mean, God, the hours were long and the pay was ridiculous,
but, yeah, I guess I miss it.
SHERYL: So, what are you doing here?
I have an announcement to make.
We're starting a cheerleading club at Sun Springs.
Is that the setup or the punch line?
No,no,no, I'm really serious. Right?
I mean, I have to join a club.
I don't like any of their clubs,
so I'm creating my own.
Yes! I mean, seriously.
You do know how old you are.
What's the difference? I mean,
we'll learn a few moves. There's nothing to it.
Hey, what's this "we"?
I know this sounds so crazy, but I...
I can't do it without you.
What's in it for me?
What do you want?
I want you to teach Ben how to drive.
All the other kids have got their license. I think he's embarrassed.
I'd teach him myself, but I don't have a car.
Yeah, no, I can't do that. Cannot do that.
Well, that's the deal. Take it or leave it.
You're the one who told me I should take up cheerleading again. Right?
Well, I didn't mean literally.
It was more of a metaphor for, you know, getting laid or something.
You know.
So next up we have Martha Walker's application.
Okay. (CLEARS THROAT)
Um...
We're starting a cheerleading club.
But who will you be cheering for'?
Ourselves.
And, of course, we will be performing
for the Senior Showcase.
VICKI: Oh, will you?
Well, I'm sorry, but we can't allow this.
Oh, come off it! Why not?
Well, insurance, for one thing.
There's nothing dangerous about this. It's just for fun.
Well, we also have Sun Springs' reputation to think about.
It's cheerleading, not pole dancing.
(LAUGHS)
Sorry.
(LAUGHTER)
Were you ever a cheerleader, Martha?
Not exactly. VICKI: Well, I was.
Captain of my squad.
What a surprise.
And it's a lot more physically demanding than people realize.
Even for younger women.
And may I suggest that you form a club that's a little more age-appropriate.
Well, I do believe that you told me
that if I didn't find a club that I really liked,
I could start my own.
How many members do you have? So far?
Uh...
Just two.
(CHUCKLES)
I'm sorry.
You need eight members to form an official club.
Well, then we're gonna find eight members.
Hi, I'm Olive.
I don't have any cheerleading experience,
but my husband and I, we take a tango class.
BOTH: Oh...
It was either tango or divorce, so...
You know what you could do is just show us what you got.
Let me begin.
(SINGING) When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more
(MUSIC ENDS)
That was fantastic.
Sweet! Whoo!
(SINGING) Let's go, girls
Come on
Wow.
I'm going out tonight I'm feelin' all right
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise Really raise my voice Whoo-hoo.
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
(MUSIC STOPS)
(NEW AGE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(GASPS)
(WHISPERING) Well, I don't know what to say about this one.
Namaste.
Oh. And "naste."
Namaste. Namaste. Excuse me. Namaste.
Ruby Jenkins! Aerobics!
Take it away.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) I'm every woman
It's all in me
Anything you want done, baby I do it naturally
I'm every woman
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah!
I'm every woman
(SQUEALING)
I'm every woman
(LAUGHING) (WHOOPING)
(MUSIC STOPS) I haven't done that in years.
(STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER PLAYING)
(MUSIC STOPS) MARTHA: Whoo.
Wow! That was great!
Where did you learn to do that?
I was Miss Carney County.
Runner-up.
1953.
What did the winner do?
Had sex with the judges.
Oh. (LAUGHS)
(SNORTS)
Here.
No speeding, okay?
Do exactly what I tell you to do, when I tell you to do it.
Now, you got that? You got it? Got it.
Okay.
What you're going to do is you're going to back up
and look in your mirrors. Right?
Okay. Go ahead. Look. That's good.
That's good. Back up a little. Back a little bit?
Nice and easy.
That's pretty good. Right there. That's enough.
Now I want you to pull forward and signal. Okay?
Pull forward!
(SCREAMS AND SIGHS)
Okay.
You ran right into me. Do you know how to drive?
Not really.
Oh, my God!
My mom's gonna kill me! Okay. Don't worry about it.
I'll just get the insurance. It'll be fine.
I'm sorry. I...
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) Oogum oogum, boogum boogum
Boogum, now, baby You're casting your spell on me
Aren't you hungry? No, I'm fine. l don’t
really have much of an appetite right now, that's all.
It must've been embarrassing for you back there, huh?
It's fine. They all think I'm a weirdo anyway.
Why?
'Cause I live in a retirement community.
Yeah. I mean, why do you live here?
My parents weren't really the parenting types.
Can I ask you something? Yeah. Shoot. Yeah.
Why did you move to Sun Springs?
I don't know. I guess I just wanted to get away.
I wanted to simplify my life.
Is it working? Not really.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) Saguquga sathi bega nantsi Pata Pata
Oh, God. You know what? We're still one woman short.
Well, it's probably for the best.
I mean, I love those gals. But let's face it,
they're not really cheerleaders.
You know you're supposed to be helping me. Right?
Remember, six women signed up for the tryouts, but...
Only five showed up.
So... Who's the sixth?
(LIQUID POURING)
Nice place you got here. It's very themed.
Oh, yes. My husband, he enjoys the game.
Oh, do YOU Play golf, by the way?
Oh, no! SHERYL: No?
So, Alice, we notice you signed up for the cheerleading tryouts.
Oh, yes. I saw your flier. It sounded fun.
Why didn't you come?
Well, I wanted to.
But my husband doesn't like me out too much on my own.
I took a sewing class last year,
and he had to make his own dinners on Wednesday night.
Well, that sounds traumatic, of course.
What if we practiced in the morning? And then you could get home
Yeah. In time for dinner.
Yeah, well, it's not just that.
No, he's worried about the morality of it.
The morality. Yes.
He says that anyone who wants to be a cheerleader at my age
is either a slut or a whore, and probably both.
(LAUGHING) Maybe he should just take his caveman-like opinions
and shove 'em up his you-know-what. Hey! Alice,
Sorry. we're just a bunch of nice ladies...
...looking for some clean, wholesome fun.
What do you say?
Well, I always did want to be a cheerleader.
(SIGHS) Maybe I could ask him one more time. Yeah.
Yeah. Go on. Yeah. Okay.
Good luck. Good luck. Oh, my gosh.
(DOOR CLOSES)
She's a sweetheart. She's very sweet. Very sweet.
God, he really loves golf.
MARTHA: (WHISPERS) He sounds like such an asshole.
SHERYL: Okay, here she comes.
So... Did you ask him? l did.
SHERYL: And what'd he say? "Over my dead body."
MARTHA: Oh, God, that was fast, wasn't it?
A little too fast, if you ask me.
He confused his meds, I'm sure.
Alice didn't wanna kill him.
Well, she always wanted to be a cheerleader.
Oh, come on. The woman is devastated.
I'm sure it was the last thing that was on her mind.
See you at practice.
Hello, everyone! ALL: Hi!
Good morning. Hi!
PHYLLIS: Morning. Wow, look at you all.
I think we should try something very simple to begin.
So, if you don't mind, I would really enjoy
seeing you getting into a straight line.
We're gonna try some very simple positions.
Now, watch me. So it's on the count of three.
It's one, two, three... Boom!
You got that? Straight arms.
One, two, three, boom! Jump!
Not quite good.
What's the matter? I'm sorry. I have a sore shoulder.
Uh-huh. I had to take an aspirin...
(GROANS)
Can I put this down? I have... Yeah... Okay... That's fine. Good.
I have to be careful. MARTHA: Hmm?
I had my knee replaced last year.
MARTHA: Well, that's... No, that's perfectly fine.
You can just bend at your hips.
I can’t jump too much 'cause I get dizzy.
When I jump too much, I get dizzy. You do?
Yeah. SHERYL: Martha?
Maybe we should make a list of everybody's condition,
just to be aware.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
We're not making a list.
You got my dizziness down, right? Yeah, got that.
And sciatica. I have the sciatica.
Oh, right. ALICE: Is that in English?
OLIVE: My wrist. Did I mention I had chlamydia?
Yeah, that, and a shocking amount of other personal information.
So can we get back to rehearsing?
But what about you, Martha? Do you have anything to report?
No, I'm fine. I'm actually...
I'm just as fit as a fiddle.
(SIGHS)
Hi. Excuse me. Are you Martha? And you are?
I'm Tom Lendl. I'm Helen's son.
Is everything all right? Well, no. It isn't.
My mother said she needs $100 for some cheerleading club?
Yeah. Why is that any of your business? I handle my mother's finances.
Well, if Helen has a problem,
she can talk to me, and we'll work something out.
My mother doesn't need money, okay? She's got plenty of money.
My father left her quite a lot.
It's up to me to make sure she spends it wisely.
Mmm. I'm sure you're aware of the fact
that your mother is an adult.
Well, I don't know if you're aware, but this place is a cesspool
of con artists and salesmen.
All trying to take advantage of gullible old women.
It's true.
Thank you, Carl. I can handle this, okay?
One hundred dollars. For what?
Uniforms for the Senior Showcase. Uniforms?
Yeah. Funny?
(CHUCKING)
You think that's funny? A little, yes.
Nobody wants to see a bunch of 80-year-olds
running around in short skirts. Uh-huh.
It's not gonna happen.
Let's go.
(ON PHONE) Martha, Vicki here.
The committee regretfully denies your request for more time
to rehearse in the recreation center.
Now I'm sure you understand.
We have to prioritize the more established clubs
in the lead-up to the Senior Showcase.
So, what's the first thing you're gonna do when you get your driver's license?
Got any hot dates planned? (BOTH CHUCKLE)
I don't even have a car. Yeah, so?
I mean, get a job and buy one. I have a job.
Most of my money goes to Sheryl to help outwith the rent.
I work at this pizza place.
So, hang on. I know. Why don't you come and work for us?
Because we need music in our rehearsals, and you'd be a great DJ.
Yes! No, thank you.
I think it's embarrassing enough already.
No, come on. How about 40 bucks a rehearsal?
Huh?
MARTHA: I've got to show you something here.
(ALL CHEERING)
This is it! We got pom-poms!
(ALL CLAMORING)
All right, everybody. Okay. You ready? Okay. Here I go.
Now, five, six, seven, eight...
Jump one, hold two, arms three, hold four.
Hips five, six. Clap seven, punch eight!
Got it? Should we do it again?
You want me to do it one more time for you?
Yeah, yeah. Okay. Ready and...
(WHISPERS) This is crazy.
Jump one, hold two, arms three, hold four.
Hips five, six. Clap seven. Punch eight.
Do you think you have it? All right.
You know what we're gonna do?
We're gonna put this baby to music.
Ben, you got the music over there? Got it.
A little old-school, but... Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the opinion.
And here we go.
(MUSIC STARTS)
Jump one, hold two. Arms three, hold four.
Hips five, six. Clap seven. Punch eight!
(SINGING) See the people walking down the street
Fall in line just watchin' all their feet
They don't know where they want to go
But they're walkin' in time
They got the beat They got the beat
Yeah, they got the beat
Keep going. Come on. You can do it faster. You can do it even faster.
All the kids just gettin' out of school
They can't wait to hang out and be cool
Hang around 'til quarter after twelve
No,no,no! No,no,no!
Oh, no! We gotta take this from the top.
(ALL GROANING) MARTHA: Yeah. All right.
Now look, Alice, here's the problem here.
I'm really sorry about this, but you're too slow.
You gotta... Fart! Balls! Shit!
Whoa. Oh.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
My husband didn't like it when I cursed, so now that he's gone
I'm gonna give it a shot.
Yeah. I'm also gonna try reefer cigarettes,
and I'm only gettin' started! There you go! Okay.
Yes! MARTHA: Thanks for sharing.
Okay, let's go with this one more time. Let's do it. You can do it!
Cunnilingus! Go!
(SINGING) We got the beat We got the beat
We got the beat We got the beat
PHYLLIS: Good-bye, ladies. See you later. Hey!
The girls are gonna have a drink. You wanna come?
You know, quite frankly,
we need more rehearsal time,
not drinks, because you know why?
We look like a bunch of old ladies out there.
We are a bunch of old ladies out there.
And where are we gonna practice?
I mean, Vicki will hardly let us use this space as it is.
No, but you need to get us a space at the school.
No, I can't do that. I'm in big trouble at the school.
I was caught handing out prophylactics in the girls' bathroom.
Mmm-hmm. The Senior Showcase is in two weeks,
and we need rehearsals. Okay.
I'll ask the principal.
He's got a crush on me. Could work. All right, okay. All right.
And one. And two.
And keep your form, ladies, with the curl.
And three, and four. Come on, keep that form.
It's all about that bone density. Welcome to the gun show.
There you go. Ooh. Look at those.
Look at that. All right, girl! I love it.
Okay, now, chest presses. And one.
And two. Ladies.
And three. Sewn' ready for the showcase?
And four. Yes indeed, Miss Vicki.
I'm sorry that we had to cancel
your rehearsal tomorrow.
I realize that you have got a lot of training to get done.
Well, don't you worry about it because Sheryl's already found us
a better place to rehearse. Mmm-hmm.
Oh, really? Where might that be?
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Come on. This way, ladies.
OLIVE: What are we doin' here?
Oh. So this is what it's like being a cheerleader.
I feel like pushing someone into a locker.
BOY: Cougar alert, yo! Guys, guys.
You gotta listen to me for a second. You can't do this, okay?
This is a bad, bad idea.
Oh, don't be so dramatic.
Grandma, you are going to humiliate yourself in front of the entire school.
The entire school? The entire school?
What are we talking about here, huh?
Huh?
You don't know? No.
This is what you wanted. No, this is not what I wanted.
I wanted a space to rehearse in.
That's what this is. No, this... This is a pep rally.
Yeah. Right?
There's a whole school out there, and we're not ready for an audience, okay?
We can't cancel.
You have no idea what I had to go through with the principal
just to make this happen.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't the teacher of the year.
Isn't there a quarterback somewhere you need to be giving a hand job?
MARTHA: Okay, all right.
Do you mind just stepping outside for a moment, please?
What... No! This is our pep rally.
They already made us cut a minute off our routine.
Okay, but just give us a second, okay?
Whatever. Whatever.
I just hope your moves are a little more up-to-date than you are.
You bitches wanna rumble?
See ya out there.
(ALL CHEERING)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) Working at the video store, every day's a bore, I just dream away
DVDs are gone for life, we just get online and go to Pirate Bay
Son of a whore!
Look how young they are.
OLIVE: With good booties.
And they're really good. RUBY: Mmm-hmm.
They're not that good. HELEN: You're blind.
I want more than I can take
Wow.
I want someone who can dance
Not someone I can talk to
I want someone who can dance
Not someone I can talk to
I want someone who can dance
Not someone I can talk to
I want someone who can dance
MAN: (ON PA) Let's give it up for our very own Hillview High cheerleaders!
Come on, let's go. Let's go.
Break a hip. Get pregnant.
MARTHA: Okay. Excuse me. Let's go, girls.
MAN: (ON PA) Next up, a special treat.
A performance from the Sun Springs All-Stars.
Move aside, girls, 'cause these are the real senior cheerleaders.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (LAUGHTER)
MARTHA: Hello. Thank you. All right.
Positions. Okay. Come on. Let's go, let's go.
Okay. Music.
BOY: Hey, Danny, you want me to get her number for you, man?
Five, six, seven, eight...
(SINGING) Three, six, nine The goose drank wine
The monkey chewed tobacco on the streetcar line
The line broke The monkey got choked
And they all went to heaven in a little rowboat
GIRL: Oh, my God. I can't believe this.
Clap pat, clap slap
Clap pat! Clap your hand
Pat it on your partner's hand Right hand
Clap pat! Clap your hand
Cross it with your left arm
Pat your partner's left palm
Clap pat! Clap your hand
Pat your partner's right palm
And a right palm again
(MUSIC STOPS) (ALL GASPING)
(GROANS)
Oh, Helen. She's not okay. She's not okay.
MARTHA: That's all right. It's okay.
Get the medic.
Oh. Ooh.
Are you all right? I'm fine. Everyone's making a fuss.
You sure? HELEN: Yes.
MARTHA: I told you we weren't ready.
We made complete fools of ourselves out there.
(ALL CHATTERING)
Oh, shit! What?
HELEN: What now?
(SINGING) Three, six, nine The goose drank wine
The monkey chew tobacco on...
ALICE: That's us! OLIVE: Oh, no!
MARTHA: Could I see?
Already has 20,000 views.
Well, you gotta take it down.
I can't take it off. Well, there has to be a way, right?
I mean, some technical... No. It's there.
"Old cheerleaders fail."
Oh!
(VIDEO PLAYING) (GIRLS CHATTERING)
What? What's going on?
What, you posted it?
Yeah. Why would you do that?
Because it's hilarious. This is totally going viral.
Wow. (SCOFFS)
What?
I blame myself.
I mean, this is just the sort of thing that I knew would happen.
Not only has one of our residents suffered a serious injury,
but now her son is threatening a lawsuit.
Is there anything that you ladies care to say?
Then, let's put it to a vote. No.
All of those in favor of the ban...
It's unanimous.
You are hereby ordered to cease all club activities.
Thank you.
Where are you going? Home.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
RUBY: You think they talkin' about us?
I don't know.
Not today, Satan.
REPORTER: Local residents from Sun Springs Retirement Community
have become a viral Internet sensation following a disastrous performance...
MARTHA: Screw you!
...at a high school pep rally last Tuesday.
Hey, Mom.
It's time for you to get some rest. I am resting.
Mother, Susan and I are gonna be staying here for a while.
No, that won't be necessary. Yes, I think it is necessary.
What's wrong with you lately?
I just miss cheerleading.
(MUFFLED ANNOUNCEMENT ON PA)
(LINE RINGING)
MARTHA: Hey. Are you around? SHERYL: Hi!
So, you went to the showcase.
Well, I drove by. I didn't go inside.
Oh, it's too bad. We had a real shot at that trophy.
Do you really think so?
Not really. I'm just trying to be supportive.
Right. Listen, lam sorry about the pep rally.
It was a dumb idea. No, it's not your fault.
It was. You know, I...
I miss the girls, though.
Yeah, me too.
I've never had a lot of girlfriends. It's quite nice.
I miss you too. I miss you.
Oh, my goodness.
On the bright side... Uh-huh.
...we're up to half a million hits. Look at this.
(SINGING) ...went to heaven in a little rowboat
Clap pat, clap slap
Clap pat!
I'd like to get my hands on whoever posted that. Okay?
CHLOE: /can't.
Hey, wait a minute. What do you mean?
Shh,shh. Listen, listen. Okay. Huh...
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
CHLOE". on, my God!
The little...
That is Chloe's voice. It was. Mmm-hmm.
It's Chloe. That's right.
The cheerleader did this, okay?
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
SHERYL: Are you sure this is a good idea?
Yes. We're gonna talk to her parents,
and I'm sure they're going to understand.
I don't think her parents are home.
Oh.
(SOFTLY) This is... Oh! What a nightmare! Ugh!
Is this what a teenage party is all about?
SHERYL: Oh, hey. MARTHA; What?
Hey, Chloe. Oh, shit!
MARTHA: Did you think that was funny?
Did you and your friends have a big laugh at all the old ladies?
I guess it wasn't enough
just to humiliate us in front of the school.
You had to share it with the whole world?
Isn't it enough to be pretty and smart and popular?
You have to knock everybody else down, too?
I mean, what? Wait a minute, now.
No clever retort, huh? You have nothing to say at all?
(SOBS)
BOTH: Oh.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
Okay. No, it's all... Hey, hey.
It's all right. It's okay. There's nothing to cry about, okay?
Don't worry. Don't cry!
No, I'm so sorry.
I didn't know they were gonna post it, I promise.
God, you must hate me.
Oh, we don't hate you.
Actually, we need you.
For what?
Well, we want you to be our choreographer.
SHERYL: Yeah. MARTHA: That's right.
We're putting our squad back together,
and as you may have noticed, we have a few rough edges.
But we've seen you, we have.
You're good, and we need some of that.
But with school and cheering, I...
I just don't have the time.
Oh, that's a shame. Isn't it, Martha? Oh.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a real shame.
But you know what would be a real shame?
SH SHERYL What's that?
If Chloe's parents found out about this totally epic party.
Oh, that'd be a terrible shame.
You wouldn't.
(CHUCKLES) We might.
Try us.
(GROANS SOFTLY)
God.
MARTHA: Good morning, ladies.
What is she doing here?
This is Chloe, right?
Chloe has something that she wants to say to everyone.
I was the one who took the video.
Oh, boy. Come on. Jeez.
I never meant for it to be posted online, and I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Glad you got that off your chest.
I'm sorry, but there's more that Chloe has to say. Go on, Chloe.
And l would really love to help coach you guys.
(LAUGHTER)
Why would we let her coach us?
Because, Olive, in case you haven't noticed,
we could do with a little help.
We're not even a club anymore.
Vicki banned us. Oh, forget Vicki.
We will practice in secret. Practice for what?
The showcase is over.
We're gonna find someplace else to perform, okay?
We humiliated ourselves. Everybody saw it.
And that's the reason why we need to do this,
to prove we're not some joke
and to show the world what we can really do.
We really can do this if we do this together.
Huh?
All right, ladies,
I want you to look at your reflection in the mirror.
Okay?
What are we doing?
Just look at your reflection, Ruby.
I want you to really, really look in that mirror
and take in yourselves, right? Look closely.
We're all so self-conscious,
and we're all so worried about what everyone else is thinking,
when of course the only thing that really matters
is what we think of ourselves.
Really, I want you to take yourself in.
Now, on the count of three,
I want you to say one thing you like about yourselves.
Oh, God.
You can't be serious.
My tits!
Not yet, not yet.
Let's wait until the count of three.
What if you don't like anything?
MARTHA: What do you mean? Then you're not looking hard enough.
You just have to find what's great about yourselves, okay?
All right. Ready?
(EXHALES) Look.
Now, one...
Two... Three!
(ALL SHOUTING, LAUGHING)
HELEN: My hair.
So beautiful. Thank you.
My hands. And?
Ooh. My hands.
My smile.
MARTHA: Look at that smile. Okay.
Damn it. And? No.
Okay, my wrist.
Okay.
They take blood really good.
Hound another good feature of yours.
Well... MARTHA: But what about me?
What's good about me? There's not one thing.
Oh, come on.
MARTHA: All right, let's work! Let's go! Come on, Chloe.
Ah. A competition? Mmm-hmm.
This is a really big deal. People come from all over to compete.
You guys can't compete next to real cheerleaders.
Yes, we can.
The oldest category is 18 plus. Uh-huh.
Yeah. So what? We're 18 plus.
Yeah. Eighteen plus 50.
Oh, look. What?
It's on in three weeks.
Well, that's okay, because Chloe's gonna help us.
Right, Chloe? No! No.
You guys didn't say anything about a competition.
Do you know how much training that involves?
People train for a year, not three weeks.
Okay.
What do you think?
I say screw it. Let's sign up.
Oh, my God. Yes.
Yes! Come on.
Let's just start with our feet a little wider than shoulder-width,
like so.
And we're just gonna start with some really easy movements.
So bring your left arm like this. Left.
Good. Down right, and back up left.
Right, left.
Left, right, let's get dirty!
Yes! Sexy!
Whoo!
(SINGING) I'm a rebel just for kicks, now
I've been feeling it since 1966, now
Might be over now
But I feel it Still
Two, three...
Did you try to hit me?
You make mash-ups, right? Yeah, yeah, I can.
Could you maybe cut something together for us?
Yeah, for sure. Oh, yes! Thank you so much.
Leave it with a baby sitter, mama...
Two, three, and four, five.
Move it! Come on, ladies, keep up!
Move it, Alice!
Punch,punch. One, two, three.
Punch,punch. One, two, three, punch.
Might've had your fill, but you feel it still
Just let me change out of this dance stuff.
Maybe you could just leave it on. (CHUCKLES)
I always wanted to date a cheerleader.
Rah-rah-rah.
(SINGING) We could fight a war for peace
I'm a rebel just for kicks, now
Give in to that easy living
Goodbye to my hopes and dreams
Feel that, right?
We could wait Until the walls come down
CHLOE: Super, super low. Lower.
Oh, my God! (EXCITED CHATTER)
Evelyn! What?
PAIGE: Five, six, seven, eight.
What's going on with you? Where have you been?
Sorry, it's been really crazy, so I...
Well, get your shit together.
You miss one more practice, and we're voting you off the squad.
Are you okay? You look like shit. No, I'm fine.
Thank you. No, I haven't been sleeping well. I'm fine.
You're so skinny. Let's get started, okay?
Is that new?
Thought we could use a little bit more bass.
Ah. You've shown a lot of interest lately, haven't you?
(SINGING) I'm a rebel just for kicks, now
I been feeling it since 1966, now
Might be over now, but I feel it still
I'm a rebel just for kicks now
Let me kick it like it's 1986, now
Might be over now, but I feel it still
Might've had your fill But I feel it still
Do you think you're irreplaceable?
I like to think I bring a certain dignity to the position.
Do you think that I would hesitate to take your little badge
and take your little cards and give 'em to Dorris?
Dorris is a trainee. She doesn't have the experience.
They're up to something, I know it.
And either you are too stupid to find it out,
or you're just not even tryin'.
lam definitely tryin'.
Well, then find out what they're plannin' and shut it down.
Or I'll shut you down.
DORRIS: Yeah. (DOOR CLOSES)
Backstabber.
MARTHA: So, Chloe, I've been working on an idea,
something that, I don't know, would make us stand out, you know?
Trust me, you guys are gonna stand out.
Yeah, but I do want you to bear with me, all right?
You can do it. Okay.
Okay, I'm down.
Okay. All right. Show us, then.
I'm excited to see it.
Mmm. Oh!
Here we are! Okay.
Are you ready for the new move? All right.
EVELYN: New move?
Oh, I didn't tell you?
Right? What do you think? Oh.
You want to try it or not? ALL: Yeah!
I knew you would. I want to see it.
I'm not surprised.
That's nice. There was something about“
Maybe we should have those elbows stick out wider.
And... One!
(SINGING) I'm coming out
I want the world to know
It's sexual.
Walk, walk, walk, walk.
Now, that was fantastic.
This is good, right?
You're strong. That's it. Let's do it.
Walk, walk. No, no. That was not walk.
No, we got it. We're gonna be fine.
Okay, ready, and walk, walk, walk.
Let's do it one more time.
Can you take over, Chloe? CHLOE: Yeah, yeah, of course.
Okay, that's good. Oh, my God!
CHLOE: Oh, yeah. I like this move.
Let's get it. Left foot forward.
(MARTHA RETCHING)
Okay, ladies, let's breathe in,
plié, and bring your arms up.
And exhale and go all the way down.
(MARTHA GROANS) OW!
CHLOE: Let's hang there for a minute,
and slowly roll up.
Feel your spine.
Yeah. (CAR DOOR CLOSES)
Roll your shoulders back. (CAR LOCK CHIMES)
Nice.
Excuse me. Could I get a word, please?
Where's Helen?
I'm taking her out of this club.
It's obvious she can't handle the peer pressure.
What are you talking about, peer pressure?
That's absurd. And look at me when you're talking to me.
Not only do you break her ankle,
now you want to publicly humiliate her again
with this stupid dance competition.
No, Helen is a really big part of this team.
You can't just take her out of the competition.
Step back and let the adults talk, okay?
I don't need some little slut telling me what to do.
What? What did you just call her?
TOM: Now, that was... No, seriously.
What did you just call her?
That was out of line. I apologize... Say it again.
Please, could you, ma'am... I dare you. What did you call her?
Ma'am, get your hand out of my face. Don't tell me what to do!
(STAMMERING) Okay, I'm leaving.
I'll go.
(CAR LOCK CHIMES)
(LAUGHTER)
What?
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) Because your good girl's gonna go bad
Ruby!
I'm gonna be the swingin'est swinger you've ever had
If you like 'em painted up Powdered up
Then you ought to be glad
Cause your good girl's gonna go bad
CHLOE: Yeah!
All right!
I'll even learn to like the taste of whiskey
I'd like to propose a toast to Helen.
To Helen! To Helen!
PHYLLIS: To Helen. May she outlive her children.
Hear, hear! Yes!
Glad I didn't have any.
CHLOE: Yes! PHYLLIS: That's good.
CHLOE: Wow! EVELYN: Yeah!
Oh. Um...
Excuse me for a minute, but I left a little something on lane 20.
Ooh.
OLIVE: She said "a little something." RUBY: Be careful, baby.
He's kinda cute, don't you think? Go, Alice!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
OLIVE: Whoo!
Yeah!
Can you believe she's the same woman
who wasn't allowed to join the club?
She should've killed that husband years ago.
(EXCLAIMS)
MARTHA: Joy! Kill the husband.
Sheryl, that was so badass of you to stick up for me back there.
Aw.
You're one of us now.
Except with higher boobies.
PHYLLIS: To higher boobies! OLIVE: Higher boobies!
CHLOE: And she scores. PHYLLIS: Grab for the joy.
It is so great to see you so happy.
I think maybe more alcohol in my life or something.
OLIVE: We all love you.
Here we just love. PHYLLIS: Yeah!
I'll be right back. I'll be right back.
SHERYL: Okay. You want me to come with you?
(GROANS)
Why didn't you tell me? Why would I?
Because you tell your friends when you've got cancer, for Christ's sake.
Anyway...
The doctor says you'll be out tomorrow.
And once they drain away all the fluid, you'll be feeling fine,
and that's good because the competition's in three days.
I'm not going. Oh, yes, you are.
The hell you're not.
No, you don't even need me.
Yes, of course we need you.
You're the leader.
And I'm not gonna let you quit just like that.
You are coming to the competition if I have to drag you there myself.
I'm dying.
Well,
you were dying yesterday, and you're gonna be dying next week.
And in the meantime,
you should be dancing your ass off.
Isn't that what this was all about?
I'm scared.
I'm...
I'm scared. I know, I know.
I'm sorry.
I know you're scared, of course.
MARTHA: I'm so scared.
Sometimes you just have to look that shit in the face
and tell it to go to hell.
(LAUGHS)
Thank you. Okay.
Thank you
for being my friend.
Your feet are cold. I know.
I don't think she's coming.
We're gonna be late.
Well, maybe we should just go on...
No! Ruby, you sit your ass down.
Nobody's going anywhere without Martha.
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
It's okay. (HORN HONKING)
RUBY: At last! ALICE; All right!
See?
OLIVE: I see her. Oh, I know.
Girl, what took you so long? MARTHA: I know, I know.
Well, everybody's here. No. We got a stop to make.
Okay? We gotta get Helen.
(STAMMERING)
I can't do this. Yes, you can. You're gonna be fine.
And, Chloe, why don't you sit in the front with Ben, okay?
All right. All right.
Sure. Do you want some free advice?
You cannot wait for Chloe to notice you, okay?
What? I'm not... Yeah. No, no.
A girl like that, she gets a lot of attention.
And you have to be reckless, right?
What does that mean? It means life is short
and make your move already, okay?
(SNIFFLES)
COMMENT AT OR: Patterson, back to throw.
Across the middle, caught by Bishop!
What? Shit, Tom is here.
Shit. Okay, we need a distraction.
I mean... Oh, God.
I love being a cheerleader Yeah.
Do it. Do it.
COMMENTATOR: At the 35, 30-yard line... (GLASS BREAKING)
(CAR ALARM BLARES)
Is that our car?
Son of a...
What are you doing here?
It's a rescue mission.
No, but...
Now be quiet. This way. Come on.
Jesus.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Security. Chief Carl. Carl, you're not gonna believe this shit.
Somebody threw a rook into my goddamn window!
Any idea who might've done it?
The gang she's always hanging around with?
ALICE: Watch that tree. MARTHA: No, no, wait a minute.
Call Vicki.
Sweetie. She's not in there.
What?
OLIVE: Door closing! Okay!
Go, go! CHLOE: Hurry, Sheryl!
There we go. Praise Jesus!
MARTHA: Come on. Come on, Ben. Go! Let's go!
You gotta be kidding me.
Mother, get out of the van now.
(ALL CHEERING)
SHERYL: Who's the little slut now? PHYLLIS: Drive!
(ALL CHEERING)
Please stop.
And, Dorris, get out. Please get out.
Please get out, out. Out, out.
Okay, let's go, Carl. Let's go. All right, hang on.
You in? I'm set.
Oh, there they are!
Cut 'em off! Cut 'em off! Okay.
(VICKI STAMMERING)
Turn off the engine and step out of the vehicle.
Drive! Drive!
CHLOE: Go, Ben! OLIVE: Go!
Oh, my God. Where are they goin'?
Just follow 'em. Follow 'em? Where?
Just follow them. Just turn around.
Today, Carl.
Oh.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Well, can you turn this thing on? The siren...
Okay, all right. (SIREN BLARING)
Good.
Why are we chasin' them again? Oh, for pity's sake.
They are an unofficial club.
Go faster! It does not go any faster.
Floor it. It's floored!
Well, this was a ridiculous purchase,
and I don't know why you didn't express that
at the time the check was being written!
(HORN HONKING)
(TIRES SCREECH)
Oh.
MAN; Hi, Vicki!
VICKI: Where are you all goin'?
Headed to the cheerleading competition. Wanna go?
Is that a serious question, David?
And what do you think you're doin'?
I'm wanna see what's gonna happen. Well, go on, then.
CARL: I'm goin' Just go on with your bad self.
CARL: lam goin'.
Panty chaser! Turncoat!
Sticks and stones, Vicki. Sticks and stones.
Traitor.
(ENGINE STARTS) (MEN LAUGH)
MARTHA: Hurry! CHLOE: Where's the...
OLIVE: Come on! CHLOE: Okay!
The music! Here. I got it, I got it.
Yes. I'll check us in. Don't worry. Here, you got it?
SHERYL: I got it. MARTHA: Thank you.
Um, hi. Where do l sign in?
Sure. Which squad is your granddaughter competing in?
My granddaughter is not competing.
lam. Sun Springs.
And it says here you've been disqualified.
CHLOE: Just breathe, stretch.
You got this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
CHLOE: Don't even worry about it.
Just worry about your routine and everything.
You need anything? Yes. Air.
PHYLLIS: Yeah. CHLOE: You've just gotta breathe.
Oh, shit.
MAN: (ON PA) For the very first time,
all the way from Jacksonville, Florida.
What are you doing here? I thought you quit.
We came to cheer.
Are you serious?
They're competing? Yeah. We are.
Okay.
Pathetic.
GIRL: Bye-bye.
GIRL 2: Good luck.
Hey.
Hey. What'd she mean about you quitting?
Oh, I was just too busy, you know, with school and everything.
I couldn't do both. Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
We didn't want you quitting for us. No, no, no. l wanted to.
I've never had a grandma before,
and now it's like I have eight.
Aw!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Your group is too old to compete.
The entry form says there's an 18-and-over category,
and we're over 18.
This competition is for young women only. What's goin' on here?
(GASPS) Oh, my God! Chief Carl.
Well, she's saying that we can't compete.
You didn't mention your age on the application.
Chief Carl, special branch division.
You're in express violation of both state and federal law,
statute 42, section 8, verse 3.
If you don't let these women compete,
I'm gonna have to haul your ass down to the station
and throw the book at you for age discrimination.
Now, we can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way.
And just for the record, I prefer the hard way.
You're on in ten minutes.
My God, that was amazing. I can't believe they fell for it.
I just made that whole thing up right there.
Oh, you did, didn't you? Come on, let's go.
MARTHA: Oh, my God. What took you so long?
Everybody's freaking out. I feel sick.
My stupid dickhead husband was right. I can't do this.
You're not going anywhere. No,no,no.
All right, ladies, huddle up. Come on. MARTHA: Okay, let's huddle.
Come on. Okay.
Guys, don't worry about the audience.
Just follow each other like we practiced, okay?
We got this.
Martha, anything you'd like to add?
(MARTHA SIGHS)
I know I told you we could do this.
But the truth is, I have no idea
what's gonna happen out there.
Maybe we'll make fools of ourselves, right?
(SIGHS) But I do know one thing.
There's no one I'd rather go out there with than you ladies.
I love you. I love you all. Okay?
Now I know you're scared. Whoo.
I'm scared too. Scared?
But, you know, sometimes you just have to look that shit in the face
and tell it to go to hell.
(ALL CHEERING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) Drop it
MAN: (ON PA) They're the Southern Attitude Cheerleaders,
and they showed us that attitude this year.
Our next squad comes from the Sun Springs Retirement Community.
Seriously?
Hey- Hey-
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) Three, six, nine The goose drank wine
The monkey chewed tobacco on the streetcar line
The line broke The monkey got choked
And they all went to heaven in a little rowboat
Clap pat, clap pat
Clap pat, clap slap
Clap pat Clap your hand
Pat it on your partner's hand
Right hand
Oh, my Olive.
They're amazing.
Pat your partner's left palm My mother told me
If I was goody That she would buy me
A rubber dolly
Let me see you Make a clap now
Clap your hand And pat it on your partner
Clap your hand and cross it with your left arm
Pat your hand now on your partner's right palm
Now again, your right arm
Slap your thighs along-long
Clap your hand and pat it on your partner
Clap your hand and cross it with your left arm
The music's perfect.
Now again, your right arm Slap your thighs along-long
My mother told me
If I was goody
That she would buy me
A rubber dolly
My auntie told her
I kissed a soldier
Mwah
Now she won't buy me
Now. Okay.
A rubber dolly
Clap pat, clap pat
(WHISTLE BLOWING) Clap pat
(SONG CHANGES) Spread it, spread it like
Oh, yeah!
Whoo!
Spread it like peanut butter jelly
Do it like I owe you some money
Spread it like peanut butter jelly
Do it like I owe you some money
Money, money
Spread it like
(EXCLAIMS)
I'll give you something to do
Visualize it
(ALL CHEERING)
ANNOUNCER: That was the Sun Springs All-Stars
from Sun Springs Retirement Community. (MOUTHING) Thank you.
And what a performance! What a response from the audience!
Thank you!
(SCREAMING)
ANNOUNCER: Coming up next, a special performance by the Sun Springs Cheerleaders,
supporting ovarian cancer research in memory of Martha Walker.
CHLOE: Okay, everyone, two minutes.
Let's huddle in.
Huddle in.
Don't worry about the crowd.
It's just us out there.
You got this.
Sheryl, anything you'd like to add?
Just one thing.
We're doing this for Martha.
ALL: For Martha.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) Spread it like
Visualize it
I'll give you something to do
Spread it like
Sleepless nights at the chateau
Visualize it
I'll give you something to do
Kush kush, wherever we go
Visualize it
I'll give you something to do
To get a wildfire burning
Visualize it
I'll give you something to do
Ace high, I'm going all in
Visualize it
I'll give you something to do
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Come on, everybody
I say, let's play a game
I betcha I can make a rhyme
Out of anybody's name
Sheryl! Sheryl, Sheryl, bo-beryl
Banana-fana-fo-feryl
Fee-fi-mo-meryl
Sheryl
Who's next? Alice!
Alice, Alice, bo-balice Banana-fana-fo-falice
Fee-fi-mo-malice
Alice
Now Olive! Olive!
Olive, Olive, bo-bolive Banana-fana-fo-folive
Fee-fi-mo-molive
Olive Evelyn!
Evelyn, Evelyn, bo-bevelyn
Banana-fana-fo-fevelyn
Me-my-mo-mevelyn
Evelyn Ruby!
Ruby, Ruby, bo-buby Banana-fana-fo-fu by
Fee-fi-mo-muby
Ruby Phyllis!
Phyllis, Phyllis Bo-bhyllis
Banana-fana-fo-fhyllis
Fee-fi-mo-mhyllis
Phyllis Check Helen!
Helen, Helen, bo-belen
Banana-fana-fo-felen
Fee-fi-mo-melen, Helen Hey, everybody
Come on, everybody
I say, let's play a game
I bet ya I can make a rhyme
Out of anybody's name
Sing it with me on
Martha
Go, Martha, go, Martha
Go, go, go, Martha
Go, Martha, go, Martha
Go, go, go, Martha, yeah