Good morning Mom.
Yeah!
I can't believe this is the fifth time this morning!
No! No!
Shit.
No!
Oh, oh yeah!
Hey!
No, wait, wait!
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Please!
Hey!
Oh my God!
Hey man, what are you doing?
You know, it's a funny thing about cars lady,
you actually have to pay for them.
Please don't do this.
I really need my car to get to work.
I don't know what to tell you.
Oh, come on.
I'm sure we can work something out.
Look, I have two.
I can show you my boobs!
Yes you could,
but unless there's $1,000 attached to each nipple,
I'm still gonna have to take your car.
Move it out!
Shit!
Hey Marnie, sorry I'm late.
It's okay.
Oh, did you walk here?
Yeah.
Way better for the environment.
You drive a Prius.
Yeah, not anymore.
Officer: Hey, stop!
Please!
Bam!
Ha!
Got your drugs!
Where you been?
You need to work out more.
Out of respect to your family I warned you
not to sell drugs on my beet,
and now I hear you're dealing in a goddamn middle school!
I was just a little money,
who are you, Mother Teresa?
Mother Teresa would pistol whip
the shit out of you right now!
My Mom's gonna hear about this!
Oh, well you can tell ugly Betty,
if she has an issue with it,
she knows what a find me!
Coffee?
I'm not asking you.
Just pondering out loud to see if I want some.
And I think I do.
Oh man.
My last quarter was way worse than I thought.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, there's this one in Chile.
Listen, it's like regular bungee jumping,
except you jump out of a helicopter into an active volcano.
Red pens, I'm gonna need a lot more red pens.
What do you think?
Anna!
What?
What do I think about volcano bungee jumping?
Yeah.
I think it's literally the worst idea I've ever heard of.
Well, you gotta do something to get out of this funk.
That's right, undress him with your eyes.
Peel off that spandex.
Slap that-
- Stop, that's not what I'm doing.
I'm just shocked we have a customer.
Oh my goodness.
Lance humpstrong totally wants to toy your friends.
Girl, that man shorts are so tight,
you can see that his little dude
is also wearing a tiny bike helmet.
Girl, he's still looking at you.
Look over your right shoulder, casually.
- Yeah. - Casual, casual.
He could be the one to end
your epic streak of sexual futility.
It's self-imposed abstinence.
Mm-hm.
What happened to the old self-confidence?
I mean, look at me.
I'm a six, seven and a half tops.
And I'm up to my vagina in pussy
because of self-confidence!
Case in point.
Your new barista, Marnie.
Mm-hm.
I'm going to have her.
I don't know anything about it.
I don't even know if she's straight or not,
but I'm gonna make that girl yell so loud,
only dogs are gonna be able to hear it.
You're sick.
Look, you see how fast I was with my tongue?
Charleen, put that thing away.
It's hard enough to lure customers in as it is.
I'm like the Flash with this thing!
I'm gonna set her pubes on fire.
Oh my God.
All right, crime's not gonna find itself!
Ain't that right girlie?
Ha!
Hey sweetie.
Hey Dad, I'm passing by your place,
so I'm gonna come check on you.
Okay, why don't you meet me in the backyard.
Here we go.
Bottoms up.
Thanks.
I went by Mom's grave tonight before coming here.
Saw your flowers.
Yeah.
Nine months today, hard to believe, huh?
You do remember that Mom hated Gerberas, right?
Yeah, but I love 'em.
To Mary, to your Mom.
To Mom.
Why don't we take this inside, Dad?
I feel like I'm being eaten alive.
Um.
It's such a gorgeous night,
why don't we just stay out here?
Gorgeous?
Who are you?
More importantly, how are you?
Oh, well, my business is in the toilet.
I can barely pay my bills.
Today my car got repossessed,
but other than that, I'm amazing.
I just feel like I'm failing her.
Like I'm failing her memory.
Is there someone inside?
A cat.
- A cat? - Cat.
When did you get a cat?
You hate cats.
Oh, I love cats.
You have a woman in there!
No, no, it's a cat.
You have a date tonight.
At least one of us has a social life.
I wanna meet her.
Oh no, no, no.
No Anna, it's too soon.
Can I just introduce you at my own pace?
Seriously?
Yeah, the timing is horrible.
I understand.
All right.
Dad, what is the big deal?
- Oh, hi. - Oh Jesus!
Who you are?
He's the plumber.
He's here to clean my pipes.
Honey.
That did not come out the way it sounded in your head.
Did Mom know you were gay?
Well, I mean bisexual, pansexual.
He likes a lot of things.
Sexually fluid.
Wow.
Yeah.
When she passed away,
I felt comfortable enough to-
- Move about the cabin.
Okay, I'm confused.
I'm getting old.
Anna, I was depressed.
Tired of being alone,
then I met Chuck.
I tell you, I haven't been this happy since,
well since Mom.
This is great.
I'm happy for you.
And I look forward to getting to know you better Chuck.
Call me Mom.
Okay, don't push it.
Chuck is good too.
I'm gonna head out
and let you two get back to
whatever it is you guys were doing.
What is so funny?
How does this even work?
Oh honey,
it's like a Great Dane trying to mount a chihuahua.
Woof.
Oh.
Hey, what's up Anna?
Coffee shop, now.
But I'm chillin'!
What's going on?
Just trust me.
Oh, that wasn't too pathetic.
Holy shit, that's potent.
Where'd you get it?
Evidence room.
You're like the worst cop ever.
Nah.
So, pitcher or catcher?
What?
Big gay Ed, is he a pitcher or is he the catcher?
Oh my God, I don't know.
Knuckle baller for sure!
Ha!
To your Dad!
Welcome to the team.
What is this?
Moonshine?
Private blend.
Try it.
It'll put a little fire in your belly.
Oh my God!
That tastes like turpentine!
Oh, excuse me, Princess.
Wanna go next door and get you some Vodka!
Vodka.
No, no, I'm fine.
I should probably just go home.
I know you're hurting.
You're drowning in red ink, you miss your Mom,
and your Dad's probably swallowing the length
of some guy named Chuck as we speak.
But, you're my best friend,
we're gonna get through this together.
Are you stoned?
Like totally ripped!
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Okay, let's get out of here.
All right, let me get my lithium and my drugs.
♪ Look at the drugs ♪
♪ Look at them drugs ♪
Miss,
I have to send the report to the insurance company.
Do you have their contact information?
I don't have it.
You know what, don't worry about it,
you can send that to us later.
Hey man, you're in for a big payday, huh?
No, I don't have insurance.
Oh.
Well that's not good.
All right boys, let's wrap this up!
All right, I think it's time-
- To kill myself?
What?
No!
To show you something, okay.
Your place tomorrow night, 7:00 PM.
Bring a pillowcase.
What?
Do you trust me?
Of course not.
Good instincts.
Shit.
Oh my God.
Are those flowers or vomit?
Look, it's the only one that was clean.
Now what's this all about?
Put it on.
What?
Pull it over your head, now!
If you're planning on taking advantage of me
at my lowest eb, that is totally uncool.
You wish!
Put it on.
Now follow me.
- Come on. - This is crazy.
Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to help you out
so you get your confidence back right.
Anna: Ow!
Sorry, that was on me.
Come on, come on,
- come on. - Course it's on you.
I'm wearing a pillowcase on my head!
Enough of this cloak and dagger shit, what's going on?
What's going on is you need a strong medicine
to snap you out of this funk that you're in.
It's time for you to come face to face
with who you are and what you're capable of.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
I can't stop shaking!
That's adrenaline, baby.
It's totally normal.
You got lots of it and it's good to get some fresh air
after your first time.
Come on.
Here?
Get out of the car!
Is that my blood?
Well it's sure as shit ain't ketchup.
You think that you'll come back?
Hell yeah, that was better than sex.
You know what, go home,
take an Epsom salt bath, some ibuprofen,
you'll wake up tip top in the morning.
Okay, cool.
- Bye. - Bye.
There's my big Care Bear!
What up baby!
Hey!
Good to see bud.
Bear, this is Anna, Anna bear.
Hi.
I have been waiting for this moment.
It's so good to have you here, Anna.
Come on in.
Okay, I like your nickname.
Oh, no nickname.
When I was born, my parents took one
look at me and thought Bear.
At least I lost most of that hair the first year.
What is this place?
The answer to all your problems.
Here you go.
Oh, okay.
Hey ladies.
Am I about to get murdered?
Ta-da!
What the fuck?
Ah shit!
Olivia's gone up.
Oh shit.
Do yourself a favor, okay.
Stay off Olivia's radar.
Oh, okay yeah, sure, great.
Who's Olivia?
Her.
Fight, fight!
Are you kidding me?
Woo!
Yup, yup!
You know the rules Olivia!
No fights without a ref!
No bill on the wall for this fight, okay!
Blow me, Bear!
Oh, I'd fucking break your fingers.
Noel, you're up!
Cool, huh?
Bear and I run this place.
We're here most weekends.
Okay ladies!
If you are not familiar with the rules,
you can strike with your fist, elbows, knees, feet,
even your head if you so fancy.
Who'd use their head in a fight?
Choke holds and submissions are totally welcome,
but please, no hair pulling, biting, eye gouging.
'Cause then you're being a bitch,
and that shit ain't cool!
To the center, fighters!
Fight!
Ah, her arm!
Oh my God, stop it!
Come on girl, yeah!
Winner!
Yes!
What?
Oh, look.
Check this out.
That's the tradition.
The winner gets to put a dollar bill on the wall.
Seriously?
You know all about my problems
and you thought a fight club was the solution?
This isn't just a fight club, Anna, this is a shelter.
A safe haven for women to come
to lift the lid off the fucking pressure cooker of life
without societal judgment.
By beating the shit out of each other?
By respecting each other.
You fucked with the wrong family, Charleen!
Oh, I warned you and your goofy ass son.
If you wanna sell a little weed, that's fine.
Anything harder than that,
especially in the school,
we're gonna have a problem.
Yeah, we do have a problem,
and we're gonna solve it, tomorrow.
Me, you, in the ring.
You better bring some Charmin
'cause I'm going to wipe your ass all over this place.
- Oh really? - Yeah, really.
Well you can cancel your hysterectomy,
'cause I'm gonna hit you so hard,
your vagina's gonna pop out.
Yeah, we'll see about that.
What we'll see is your cobweb ridden vagina
bouncing across the floor.
Whatever, you better get used to disappointment, bitch.
Cause it's coming.
You know what?
How 'bout we raised the stakes, okay.
The loser has to leave the club for good.
Well, it looks like you're gonna be getting your weekends
and every other Thursday back bitch.
I'm coming for you.
That's a very specific insult bitch.
And that's you guys respecting each other, how?
Ah, she's just pissed I arrested her son yesterday.
We'll work it out.
By fighting each other?
Listen, we have rules, okay.
Usually we draw names, but somebody can challenge you.
And if you don't accept it,
you're kicked out of the club for good.
I think I've heard enough.
I'm going home for good now.
Later.
Ip, ip, ip, ip.
What, you can't make me stay.
Nope, but Bear can.
Like Charleen said, Anna, we have rules.
And one of them is the first time you show up,
you have to fight.
So you have two choices.
You can either fight one of our other first timers,
or you can fight your way out the door past me.
It's totally up to you.
Mm-hm.
Mm.
I've never been in a fight before Charleen, I hate fights!
That's exactly why you're here.
Come on.
You know what this broad does?
She's a school librarian.
I mean, do they even have libraries anymore?
Hasn't she heard of the internet?
Come on man, look at her.
A strong breeze could knock her down.
Take it to her, come on!
Center stage ladies!
Let's go, some on.
Hi.
I'm Anna.
Carol, nice to meet you.
You too.
Oh, so sweet.
Maybe you guys could be friends later?
All right, you heard the rules.
You go with that.
Good luck.
- Yeah, you too Anna. - Okay.
Okay, fighters, are you ready?
And fight!
Make a fist!
Swing!
At her!
Make a fist!
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
Hey, what's that?
What?
- Oh no! - Ooh!
Tap out!
Are you gonna tap out?
What does tap out mean?
Anna!
My name is Dr. Park.
Do you know where you are?
Hell.
I'm in hell.
I'm guessing I lost, huh?
Poland put up a bigger fight in World War II.
Yeah, but at least you fought.
It took a lot of courage.
I guess I can cross that off my bucket list.
And then puke in that bucket.
I thought only women were allowed in here?
Dr. Roy is a special case,
and he's Bear's brother.
Your sister's name is Bear Park?
Trust me, no one's ever teased her about it.
Roy!
We got a girl that's got a little
problem with her ear.
What kind of problem?
It was just removed from her head.
Still don't understand why you'd bring me to this place.
Dude, just show her.
Show me what?
Welcome to the Bear cave.
Wow!
Well this is much cozier than the Roman Coliseum out there.
What?
Is that?
Is that, that's Mom.
Yup, she was a goddamn legend.
Legend?
What the hell is going on?
This might help explain.
Come on, sit down.
Mom fought here?
She didn't just fight here,
she was the founder of this whole club.
This is Mary's last fight.
The cancer took her six months later.
I made this as a tribute,
so Mary could know how much she meant to us.
When I needed an emotional release,
I used to scream into my pillow.
This club is my new way of screaming real fucking loud!
This club truly gives me a place to express my rage.
Thanks Mary.
Everything scared me in life.
But now that I face down real hurt and pain in this ring,
nothing in the real world remotely scares me anymore.
I promised myself I wouldn't cry.
So, here we go.
Mama Mayor, ah!
Here they come.
This club has allowed us to share our stories,
to fight it out and then hug it out.
So thank you for allowing me to let go of my anger
by letting go of my fist.
But also thank you for showing me that
underneath this big, hairy chest,
is an even bigger heart.
Stop looking at me!
Fuck.
When men punch each other, it's normal.
We women feel the same way,
but society has house trained us to cry our shit out.
But thanks to you, Mary,
we get to say, fuck that.
You've helped me and a lot of other women
to find the strength to live our truth.
And don't worry, I'll take care of your baby girl.
And if you learn to fight,
and you never give up in the ring,
you will always beat the shit out of life.
And girls, never back down from anything.
Oh.
Why didn't you tell me about this?
How did she not tell me about this?
Therapist-patient confidentiality.
All of us were your Mom's patients,
and she was our therapist.
No one was meant to know about this place.
And sure, there's the new breed
like Olivia who discovered us
and wants to change our ethos,
but Bear and I try to run this club
like your mother would have wanted.
And that's why I brought you here friend,
'cause you need this place just as much as her patients.
Oh, you guys, this is crazy.
I think you owe it to her to give this a shot.
She created a place that helped a lot of us.
I don't even know how to fight.
It would take a miracle worker to help me.
I think I may know just the guy.
Eh?
Ooh!
So embarrassing, God.
Seriously, that's who you want to train me?
Mm-hm.
This is like the worst lip-syncing ever.
How do you know that guy?
Oh, I arrested him a few times.
You know, drunk and disorderly,
public nudity, that sort of thing.
Oh!
One time he ate his own underwear
'cause he thought the cotton fabric would absorb
the alcohol before he took a breathalyzer test.
And did it work?
No!
Murphy trained Sugar Ray, you know.
Who was a world champion in like five different divisions.
I mean if the man who trained Sugar Ray
isn't good enough for you,
maybe you should quit before you begin.
Oh, okay.
So you're telling me,
I shouldn't judge this particular book by
its very rum soaked cover?
Exactly.
I mean, look at you princess.
You are a book that I wanna take to bed
and read all night long.
- Oh. - But then you find out
The books like dark and depressing,
and currently lacking a shot at redemption.
So maybe this man could be the one to change the narrative.
Hey man, show us your tits!
I got $1!
Come on, unbutton that!
Oh my God, he's doing it!
He's doing it!
- He's fucking doing it! - Keep going, keep going!
Keep going, keep going!
He's going, he's going!
Oh my God, he's fucking doing it!
He's doing it!
- Yeah, woo! - Keep going man!
Oh!
Shouldn't you call an ambulance or something?
Too soon.
That will happen at least three more times tonight.
Mm-hm.
Woo!
If you learn to fight and you never give up in the ring,
you will always beat the shit out of life.
If you learn to fight and you never give up in the ring,
you will always beat the shit out of life.
And girls, never back down from anything.
Another one out.
Thank You.
You made quite the display last night.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone
take a dive from that height
and not spill a single drop of their drink.
Well, my drinking does defy gravity.
Have we met, I'm-
- Murphy.
Yeah, I know who you are.
They tell me you're a legend.
And so I'm gonna take their word on that
and ask you to train me.
Train you to do what?
Ride a bike?
To fight.
I want you to train me to fight.
It looks like he might need.
Your expired visa secret is still safe with me.
I don't mean to be rude,
but aren't you a little old to be going pro?
I don't wanna go pro.
It's for...
I'm part of a fight club.
I'm sorry, you're in a what?
Yeah, a fight club.
A fight club.
I'm sorry, did you hear that Chloe?
A fight club, that sounds so dangerous.
I know I'm not sugar Ray, all right,
but I am in desperate need of a coach
and short of any other options, well, tag, you're it.
I got a news flash for you Twiggy,
there are a lot easier ways to make a buck than fighting.
My runs the Booby Trap
and you're not half bad looking for your age
if you wanna get-
- This is not about money.
Everything is about the money.
Oh really?
Well not by the looks of you.
There are a lot less bruising hobbies than fighting,
like crocheting.
So if it isn't about money, what is it about?
Well, apparently if you fight someone
who is also trained to hurt you,
then your fears seem a lot smaller in comparison.
It's like once you face that kind of potential pain,
you build some sort of mental fortitude
to face anything that life has to throw at you.
Or something like that.
If.
Yeah.
If you had your boobs done.
No!
I am sick and tired of my demons getting the better of me
and I wanna punch them square in the fucking face!
So, sorry.
Are you in or are you not?
Hey, hey!
It's show us your tits guy!
Oh no way!
No way!
Epically wasted last night.
I was.
I'm so glad you enjoyed the show,
and don't forget to tip your waitress please.
Okay, move along now kids.
We're trying to have a little adult time here.
- Oh! - Okay, okay.
Well, our adult time would be rated R for raunchy.
How about R for repugnance?
- Ooh! - Bitch!
Whoa! Whoa!
- No, no, no, no! - What?
Your turn, your turn, your turn.
Carter! Carter!
I'm all right!
Carter.
My Dad's gonna hear about this!
Yeah!
Hey, I like you, Heidi.
Anna.
Okay, let's go with that.
Now, I'm gonna give you a test.
If you pass that test,
I'm gonna train you.
Ugh, you're gonna go all Mr. Miyagi on me
and make me paint your house or something like that?.
Can I have that please?
Let me have this please, thank you.
All you gotta do is open up this watermelon.
Strength and balance.
This test has both.
Now, without holding it down,
I want you to punch this watermelon
in it's smug little face until it pops.
Oh wait, no punching down.
Okay.
Ah! Ah!
This is ridiculous!
It's just gonna keep moving out of the way!
Yes it is, like all of your opponents,
this watermelon does not wanna get opened up.
That's why it's got such a thick skin.
It's gonna require a lot of force.
But like most of your opponents,
it also has a weak spot, and you're gonna find it.
One more time.
Oh, and take your shoes off.
Are you kidding?
The sand is like 100 degrees.
Fighting also requires exceptional footwork.
Let's go.
I did it!
Murph, I did it!
Oh, I did it Murph.
You did it?
- Yeah, - Oh, excellent.
Okay.
We start at seven o'clock tomorrow morning.
Is that some sort of old school training
you did with Sugar Ray?
No, I saw it on YouTube.
Saw you at the club last night.
Oh right.
I'm sorry, we never had the chance to meet.
I'm-
- Dead to me.
Excuse me?
You're dead to me.
You and all the other head cases that come in in that place.
You know, maybe you should replace that green shit
with something stronger, you seem a little uptight.
What?
What did she just say?
Who knows.
Probably something about putting you in the hospital.
Either way, you're not gonna be welcomed
at the club pretty soon,
because we're bringing in a fresh breed of women,
a place like that should be about real competition.
Real fighters, not a support group for basic bitches.
You don't get to decide who comes to the club.
Well, maybe not, but if you do decide to keep showing up,
then one day you're gonna find yourself
standing across from me.
And when that day comes,
I'm gonna hurt you so badly.
Think it over, make the smart decision, cheers.
I'm not afraid of you Cobra Kai.
And I am not gonna back down from anyone,
and especially not you.
You're so cute.
So I challenge you!
What?
What did she say?
I
challenge you.
And I accept, pick a time.
- In two decades. - Months.
Decades.
Two months.
You have to get ready and then we fight.
You know what Abu, I challenge you too.
Yeah, and you as well, both of you,
I challenge both of you.
You guys can be the warmup to the main event, okay?
The appetizer to the main course,
a little
before the all you can eat buffet, kapeesh?
You better watch your back.
Yeah, well you better watch your front parts.
Punch your boobs.
Shit.
Are you out of your damn mind?
I brought you here to be a better person, not die as one.
Let's make this crystal, you are a dead person, okay?
You challenged Olivia?
What monumental brain fart caused this level of stupidity?
This is your fault, Charleen.
How?
You showed me that video of my Mom.
Well, for the record, it's a bad idea.
A really bad one.
Like using the bathroom in a Home Depot bad.
What?
What's going on?
Do me a favor.
Casually look over your left shoulder.
God, you were so bad at that.
You see that woman standing up against the wall?
I thought she was the wall.
Her name is Naomi.
She's a total bad-ass.
She was a regular, but she stopped showing up.
Only ever lost one fight.
And guess who beat her?
Godzilla.
Close.
Your Mom.
Why is she back?
And why is she staring at me like that?
Probably for revenge.
See, your Mother was the only person that beat her.
So she has to kill you to restore families honor.
Great.
Second time here and already two people wanna kill me.
Three.
I heard you challenged Noel as well.
Oh yeah.
- Idiot! - Mm-hm.
Ah, this pretty face.
You're gonna lose it.
Girls ready!
And fight!
Come on, choke her out!
Get her!
Yeah!
Winner!
She moves like Neo in "The Matrix".
Mm-hm.
Why's she looking at you?
Nope, I didn't challenge her.
Winner!
We got a grudge match!
Girls, are you ready?
And, fight!
Come on bitch.
What you got Lizzo?
- Come on Sarah McLachlan. - Come on bitch.
Same as them puppies, bitch.
Hey, don't fuck with my puppies, bitch.
Oh!
One, two, three!
She's out, she's out, she's out!
Winner, right here!
- You were down! - This ain't fucking over!
- Hey! - This ain't over, Bear!
I wasn't down!
Do something!
You're out of the club!
- Fuck this shit! - Yeah, you fucking move!
- Fuck this shit! - Get out of here!
I'm gonna tell the cops about this place!
That's right, it's my cage!
Get the fuck out!
Bye!
See ya!
Oh my God.
Well,
you're up next, Rocky.
I think I'm just gonna...
Just give me a second.
That's who I'm fighting?
She's got a broken arm.
Do I go easy on her or what do I do?
Your second fight and you're Sarah Connor now?
It just doesn't seem fair.
On you or her?
Look at the bright side,
afterwards, you can say something cool and ironic,
like, "That fight was disarming."
I'm not gonna say that.
You'll miss an opportunity of a lifetime.
Fighters ready!
Oh, watch out for her right.
That's not even funny.
And, fight!
Go, go, go!
Foot, her right foot.
I should have been more specific.
I'm sorry.
Anna?
Anna.
Hello again.
Oh.
Oh, wow.
That fight was, disarming.
Yeah, well my opinion,
it probably would have been better
to keep her in arms length.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, where ya going?
Well, to look for my dignity.
I know it's around here somewhere.
Seriously, I'm fine.
I appreciate you taking care of me too.
Thank you.
Well that's okay.
I'm a lousy doctor anyway.
I went to Ohio state.
I was drunk half the time.
Ah.
I thought I sensed incompetence.
Hey Roy.
And evil.
I also sense the presence of evil among us.
Hi.
You, you ready to go?
Ready to go where?
Olivia and I were gonna have some drinks, a couple drinks.
Hmm, that's wonderful.
Yeah, have you had a chance to meet Anna yet?
Yeah, actually we had a,
a delightful little chat earlier today.
We sure did, and oh,
I thought I overheard her ask someone about the best
medication was for syphilis.
So maybe you can pick Dr. Roy's brain
about that over drinks tonight.
- Anyway, - Anyway.
I shouldn't keep you two.
Syphilis, yep!
It's a real thing, you know!
Took down Hitler when half the world couldn't.
Murphy: You're late.
It's 7:00 AM like you said.
If you're early, you're on time,
and if you're on time, you're late.
That's very confusing.
Don't let it happen again, okay.
And if you do, I'm gone.
Put that on.
From what I hear, if you get punched in the head,
you fall down, makes it kind of hard to win a fight.
So how are we gonna fix that?
I don't know.
Chloe here is going to punch you in the head a few times.
What?
How does that feel?
Really uncomfortable!
Yeah, it's an uncomfortable thing
to get punched in the head.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What?
Isn't it better if I try to fight her back?
No, you need to learn how to take a punch.
- Let's go. - What?
Oh Jesus, that hurts!
Yes it does, because it's painful to train,
it's painful to compete,
but there's nothing more pleasurable
than the thrill of victory.
Isn't it you that wanted this celebration
of the human spirit both in and out of the ring?
Huh?
This is only gonna help you.
Oh, this is bullshit!
How much longer am I gonna have to take this?
Until you can't take it anymore.
But I can't take it anymore!
What am I missing?
Drink?
Yeah.
Hi.
We're not open.
Oh, the door was open so I just thought-
- We have an opening tonight.
The artist was bumping in.
You look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?
Oh, at that coffee shop!
I challenged you to a fight at the Fight Club.
Are we even allowed to talk about the Fight Club?
What can I do for you?
Oh, right.
I'm actually looking for a job.
I have lots of cafe experience.
I'm not the one you should be speaking with.
Oh, who might that be?
In there.
Oh.
Okay, thanks.
Shit.
Hi, Anna.
What are you doing here, you little peeping Tom?
I mean, I think my ass looks great in these pants,
but damn.
Hey Olivia.
No, no.
I am actually a huge art lover.
- And so the art drew me in. - Oh, yes.
- Larry is incredible, right? - Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
It was a real coup to get him to open here.
I bet.
And do you work out in a gallery.
Yeah, you can work out anywhere you want
when you own the space.
You own the gallery?
Mm-hm.
Actually, I own the whole building.
Oh wow, that's-
- Super baller.
Yeah, ballers, great.
Anna, you're a liar.
What?
Yeah, you don't give a shit about art.
You don't care about Larry.
But I love Larry.
You don't even know who he is, do you?
I sure do.
You came here because you wanted to get
the low down on my date with the good doctor, didn't you?
Uh-huh, you filthy little Minx, you!
No, no, I did not.
- So picture this. - No.
- Two perfect naked bodies - I don't want to.
Coming together as one flesh
for hours of pure unadulterated,
- in carnal, pleasure. - Yeah, I just, no.
- Over. - I don't care.
I love Larry, Larry's mixed media.
My favorite.
The more mixed up the better!
You should have seen us.
Oh, actually you totally can,
because we recorded the whole thing.
I'll just pop it on over to you,
now that I have your email.
Oh right, no, I just-
- Oh Anna.
I just wanted to tell you.
We have a really strict employment policy.
Yeah, we just don't hire
weak minded blondes.
Walk away Mom jeans.
Walk away.
- These are tight. - Uh-huh.
You know Chloe, you want that visa,
I say we get married.
Hey Frenchie heads up.
Let's go.
Can I finish my drink?
No.
I knew she'd be back.
More!
Come on Frenchie, give it to me!
Is that all you got?
Go, again!
Go!
Come on!
Go, again, again!
Come on, what are you, a wimp?
Give it harder, go!
Yeah, that's right!
What, come on!
Ooh, yep, yep, more gently!
That's right, that's right.
Are you done?
Yeah.
So what's next?
Not bad.
Not bad at all.
One, sweep!
Two, sweep!
Three!
No!
You don't even hit like a girl!
You hit like a cat!
Like a cat that can't box.
Okay, come on!
Keep going, keep moving!
I'm gonna need a lot of drinks.
I can't do it.
Let's move on.
Ah!
Ow!
Ah, ah that hurts!
So does hitting a real person, now come on,
show me something!
Watch me, you're always loading from the shoulder.
Okay.
She has a really hard head.
She certainly does.
Sa!
Su!
Zi!
You're very funny by the way, okay.
Watch me.
Make it count.
That's it!
Well now hit the fucking bag!
I did hit the bag!
Swing, three!
And duck, sweep!
You didn't duck!
That's better, that's better!
Yeah!
She's still going.
How long has she lasted?
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Anna.
Anna, wake up.
What?
Did I get knocked out again?
No, but I think you're a complete knockout.
You know, I've been thinking a lot about you lately.
Actually, you're all I've been thinking about.
What about Olivia?
Who?
Good answer.
I really wanna kiss you right now
and have lots of sex, would that be okay?
I'm feeling extremely consensual.
Oh my God, you are all wet.
You bet your ass I am.
No, you're literally like all wet.
Like saturated.
You're drenched.
Oh my God.
What's happening?
Oh God, I can't even dream right!
Ow!
What the fuck?
And you're here about?
Possible tissue damage?
Where?
Down, down there.
Okay, what'd you use?
A coconut?
Oh no, not on myself.
Put that in the chart.
No coconut was inserted, it was kicked into my cooch.
I had a coconut kicked in my cooch.
Try saying that 10 times fast.
Got a coconut kicked in my cooch.
Got a coconut.
Yeah, hard.
Nurse: Okay.
Okay.
Dr. Lee will be with you soon.
Great.
Hello mister,
I'll be your doctor for the day.
Hi, wow, shit.
I didn't, I didn't know you worked here.
Well, yeah, I'm a doctor.
Yeah.
It's the only hospital in town.
Right, yeah, well, how convenient.
Yeah.
Well, look, I was just sitting front of the computer.
I saw your name pop up on the admittance list.
What's going on?
Well-
- Eh, you know what, I'm just-
- Oh no, no, no, you don't have to look.
I'll just tell you.
It's not inserted, but kicked.
Well that's a relief.
Yeah.
If it was the former and not the latter
I'd say you belonged in Tijuana and not a hospital.
Yeah, right.
You're in any pain right now?
I think I'm dying of embarrassment, yeah.
Well, I'd lay low with the, you know,
sexual activity for a week or so.
That won't be a problem.
I'm on a self-imposed abstinence.
That's very strong-willed of you.
Thanks.
So what about you?
What about me?
How was, how was your date with Olivia?
Oh.
Did you practice abstinence?
Woo!
Yeah, things got a little crazy.
- Oh. - That night we drank
A lot of tequila.
You know what I mean?
I wasn't myself, if I'm being totally honest.
Yeah, no, no, you don't have to explain.
Doctor, we need you to scrub up.
22 year old male GSW to the chest.
Ambulance is about a minute out.
Okay Miss, well I gotta go.
I'll see you later though, okay?
I'm a psycho.
Oh.
So.
You're a coconut lady, huh?
Yep, that's me.
Might as well make that my legal name from now on, right?
Lean back.
Okay.
It's Charleen, you know what to do!
Hey C, I really need a drink.
Meet me at Cheeky's.
Hey honey!
Dad?
Oh my God, what are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
Something you'd like to tell me?
Oh my God.
No, I'm having a drink with Charleen.
Did you get a spray tan?
No, I was working the garden.
With a bronzing hose?
Shut up!
Is Chuck here?
No, he's working late.
He's got a big divorce case.
Okay.
Well I can, I can join you for a drink.
Normally I would love to,
but I've got some place to go.
- Really? - That's right.
I got invited to a party.
A guy came in and was handing these
party carrots out right before you came.
Orgy Dad.
This doesn't say party, it says orgy.
You've been invited to an orgy.
That O looks just like a P,
and who in the hell writes in cursive anymore?
Dad, just go home, wait for Chuck,
have all the Chuck sex you want.
Have a Chuck orgy.
Are you okay?
You seem upset.
No, it's just,
I never expected to be with my Dad in a gay bar
talking about orgies.
Are you embarrassed by me?
No, I'm not embarrassed.
I'm just, I'm still processing it all.
I've been processing this most of my life.
I'm done.
I am who I am and this is who I'm gonna be.
I fought hard to find myself, what about you?
Love you sweetie.
Oh yeah.
Ready one!
Sweep, two!
Sweep, three!
Sweep, four!
Sweep!
- This hand goes out. - Yeah.
This hands up.
This hand goes out and this hands up, bang, bang!
Bang, bang!
Uppercut!
Okay, again, ready?
One, one, two, three!
Again, bang!
That's it, one,
two,
three!
Thank you.
One, one, two!
One, one, two, three!
One more hook!
Oh come on!
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
You do you do any babysitting?
I don't have any kids, but we can work something out.
That's my coach.
You get away from him!
I don't know what that means,
but this Fight Club sounds a little ruthless.
You wouldn't stand a chance.
What'd they say to you?
It doesn't really matter.
What matters is both of these ladies
seem to be taking you very seriously.
Hit it!
That's it, again!
Bang, that's it!
Try to make a hamburger!
Jesus Christ!
You're like a fucking Great White shark.
Look at you.
Wow!
Congratulations Anna, that fight was incredible.
Thanks.
Hold on, can I talk to you for a second?
What do you want Ray?
Well, ever since you came into the ER,
I just feel like you've been going
out of your way to avoid me.
I was wondering why.
I've just been winning more.
I haven't needed your services.
You should probably leave.
What?
Why?
You shouldn't see this next fight.
Well, great, now all I wanna do is see this next fight.
No!
Why did you let this happen?
Olivia challenged all three.
There is no rule against it.
- Should be. - Yeah, fight!
This is crazy.
Mm-hm.
All right fighters!
Same rules as on one on,
but this is three on one!
Oh my God.
Ready, fight!
Holy shit.
She's been holding back.
Hey!
I'll see you in here tomorrow night.
I quit.
I quit!
What?
I am done Charleen, okay!
I am done pretending.
I am not my Mom.
And you never will be if you quit.
Come on, you worked so hard!
Yeah, and what's it gotten me?
I can take and throw a punch?
Great!
But out here in the real world,
my life is still a shit pile!
If you don't fight Olivia tomorrow,
you can never come back.
Well it's probably best for everyone, all right.
Sorry, I'm done.
Anna.
Anna!
Damn it!
Hey Twiggy.
You're supposed to be at the gym.
I told you if you were late again we're done,
and you're very late,
but because of your exceptional progress,
I'm gonna give you one free pass, so let's go.
Or we could just take in the scenery.
Nothing's changed Murph.
I don't know what I thought this fight would give me,
but I still have all the same problems.
Totally broke.
No closer to reopening a business,
and I have absolutely no prospects of turning things around.
And you know what the icing on the shit cake would be?
Olivia.
I mean, this isn't a librarian or a woman with a broken arm.
This is someone who can do long lasting damage.
I'm too scared to fight her.
So,
I'm quitting.
But you've trained for this,
and I wouldn't let you fight
if I didn't think you were ready.
All you need to do now is leave behind fear and doubt,
and take that final step to bravery.
It's easier said than done.
How do I do that?
I'll show you.
Okay,
you go like this.
I don't get it.
Okay, I'll do it one more time.
Like that.
You see, when you're fighting Kung Fu Barbie tonight,
you don't think about anything else but this,
outside the ropes is fear,
but you take one single step into the ring
and you are brave.
And the same thing goes for this world, Anna.
The only thing that separates fear from bravery
is one small step.
So are you gonna take it?
You got that from YouTube, didn't you?
Yeah.
It's good though, huh?
And you probably give the same great advice to Sugar Ray.
- Huh? - Pretty much.
I mean, it's scary getting up there
in front of thousands of adoring fans,
especially when those songs don't sound
the same live as they do when you record them.
Wait.
Hold on.
You trained Sugar Ray the band?
Yeah, I mean only for their first world tour,
but those things are grueling.
I mean Mark McGrath,
he was ripped.
Of course!
What's so funny?
Nothing I-
- "Every Morning" is a misunderstood classic.
Misunderstood is an understatement.
Hey,
you got this.
If all else fails,
use your head.
Hey, you never told me what I owe you for helping me out.
Just pay my bar bill.
Dad?
Chuck.
What happened?
What the hell, Dad?
A heart attack?
How bad is it?
You didn't let Chuck finish before you hung up on him.
I had a mild heart attack.
I could be home tonight.
Oh God.
Well, what triggered it?
What the hell are you doing to him in the bedroom?
Actually, it was on top of a washing machine.
A classic.
And what is she doing here?
You really called her before me?
I needed her to bring something.
What is this?
It's the club, or at least the property.
Yeah, I knew.
Your Mom did more than fight at that club.
Your Mom owned it, and now you do.
And you're homeless after all.
You should sell it.
Pay off your debt's.
You know, start afresh.
I'm gonna head over there now.
Get in one last fight before you shut us down.
Roy.
What up?
How ya feeling Ed?
Good, I feel really good.
Yeah, well if you're feeling really good,
then you shouldn't be in the hospital.
I'm taking off, but Dr. Lee's
gonna come in and discharge you.
Thanks.
I'll see ya.
Go get him before Chuck and I do.
Oh my God, that is some ginger candy.
Get it.
Go get him, girl.
Okay.
Oh my God.
Don't ever pass out inside of me again.
So,
you're a washing machine man, huh?
He loves his spin cycle.
I'm kind of a permanent press guy myself.
Yeah, so.
Roy, wait.
Look, please, I just wanna apologize
for ignoring you.
It's just that,
I really like you,
and it's not my place to judge who you have sex with.
I did not have sexual with Olivia.
Oh.
Why?
I mean,
did it hurt too much when she laid on top of you
with her razor blade nipples?
Okay, yeah, well listen.
That night, got a little crazy, okay.
Yeah, we went back to her place.
Obviously both had too much to drink,
things escalated, ,
it was weird.
I couldn't get it up.
What?
Yeah, your sympathy for my situation is overwhelming.
Sorry, it's just,
I mean a good doctor knows they have pills for that.
Small, blue.
Okay, I couldn't get it up
'cause I was thinking of you.
Wow.
Let me clarify that statement.
Okay, yeah.
I'd love to see you walk that one back.
I couldn't get it up with her because
I wanted to be with you.
Because I can, you know.
I can get it up.
- Oh. - Like, I'm talking.
I can, way up.
Like, way up.
Like, up.
I'll take you right in that closet and rock your world.
- Oh. - Right now.
- Wow. - I've got a break.
- Well. - I'm done for the day.
Okay.
It's a little bad timing, don't you think?
I mean, we're 20 yards away
from where my Dad is recovering
from a sexually related heart attack.
Not to mention,
I have to fight a ninja cheerleader tonight.
Oh, so you're gonna fight Olivia?
Yeah.
Yup.
Yeah, I guess I am.
All right, well, at least let me
give you a ride to the club.
Maybe a little ride in the closet first though, huh?
Oh fuck it.
This is the big one ladies!
One of the most anticipated match ups
in the history of our club!
Let's get prepared to rumble!
There is a more common phrase,
but it is federally trademarked!
All right, let's bring out our challengee!
Weighing in at a total skinny bitch,
she's undefeated!
It's Olivia Mayhem Miller!
Boo!
And our challenger!
She wanted this fight
for reasons of temporary insanity!
She is the offspring of our
great founder, Mary Wynncomb!
Give it up for Anna WildCard Wynncomb!
This is my music?
I didn't choose it.
Just one small step.
Go, go, go, yeah!
- You can do this! - Come on!
What are the odds on Anna?
1,000 to one?
I got a dollar for that.
She ain't gonna win anyway.
Thank you, girl.
Fighters, ready!
And, fight!
You ready to bleed?
Yeah, but not for like another month!
This is the wrong time for a period joke!
There ya go!
Yes!
- Get up! - Come on!
Good.
Okay, watch the neck!
Come on now, fight!
Let's go, get up!
Come on, get up, get up!
Good, you need to tap out?
Ah, there we go!
Come on baby!
Crowd: Oh!
Come on, get up!
Come on girl, get up, come on!
You good, you good?
Let's go, yeah, yeah!
Stay down, you don't have anything left to prove!
Stay down!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
You getting up, you getting up?
All right.
Come on Bear, stop the fight man, this is not right.
Tap out if you need to!
Tap out.
You good?
Come on!
Let's go!
- Come on, get up! - All right.
Get up!
Oh!
Anna, stay down!
Stay down, everyone knows you're
weak just like your Mom.
If all else fails, use your head.
Get up, get up, get up!
- Bear! - You guys good?
You wanna tap out?
Did she just knock this bitch out?
Whoever gets up first is the winner!
Whoever gets up first!
Come on!
Come on, come on.
Listen to me, listen to me!
Come on, get up!
Come on.
Get her Bear!
Winner!
Girl, I just won $1,000!
Winner!
Anna, you okay?
I don't know.
But you should be checking out her right now.
Hey!
I've never been more attracted to you
than I am right now!
I just made $1,000, ting!
You only bet a dollar on me?
I didn't have any coin!
That was the most bad ass thing I have ever seen.
What the hell were those head butts?
I think all the practicing with Murphy,
I found out that I have a really hard.
Oh shit.
Ow.
Yeah, it's like steel in there.
One of the hardest noggins
I've ever encountered.
That hurts, stop!
I can hear clanging in my brain.
Clanging?
Oh shit!
Betty!
Bitch really did sell us-
Cops!
It's game player!
I'm on it!
What the hell is going on?
Well, everybody listen up.
We're about to get raided.
Bear's unlocking the door to the way out.
You're gonna go through a hole in the fence,
then under the freeway, you'll be home free!
Go!
Come on, let's go, let's go!
Come on, let's go, let's go.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, come on.
Be careful, be careful.
Come on.
I was sure this was mine.
But you've become
one hell of a fighter.
Good job.
Come on, let's go.
Earth to Anna!
Is it always headbutts?
Come on, girl, there's a goddamn raid, let's go!
My Mom built this ship and now I'm the captain.
So I'm going down with it.
Okay, well I'm a cop so I'm gonna scoot out,
but I am so proud of you tonight.
And I got priors, but hey, good job captain.
Anna, what are you doing?
Come on, let's go.
No, you get out of here.
This is not worth you losing your medical license, right?
Even if you are a lousy doctor.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be held
against you in the court of law.
You have the right to an attorney.
If you cannot afford one,
one will be appointed to represent you.
Do you understand?
Hey, what are you in for?
Assault and battery,
gross negligence, unlawful assembly,
disturbing the peace,
and promoting fights without a license.
I didn't know that existed.
Yeah.
Wynncomb.
Yeah, present.
You made bail.
You're out of here.
What?
Fuck.
Wait.
You?
Yeah, me.
Charleen, I know you don't have
that kind of lazy cash laying around.
Oh, you're right.
But everyone pitched in.
Who's everyone?
The girls at the club.
I passed the hat around
and we had more than enough to make your bail.
Wow!
Don't be so surprised.
You did something that no one else can do.
You defeated Olivia.
Ooh, you are Dorothy girl,
and ding dong the wicked witch is dead.
No, no, no, not literally.
- Not literally. - Okay.
She's gonna be in the hospital for a few days,
and considering the number of girls she sent in there,
it is more than fair.
Yeah.
Anyways.
It's nice the club went out on a high note.
I'm not closing the club Charleen.
What?
I got a lot of thinking done
while I was doing hard time on the inside.
You weren't even in for a night.
And yes, I do own that property,
and yes I could do whatever I want with it,
but I can't sell the club.
You need the money.
We all need that space.
We all need that community.
What are you getting at?
I'm gonna use the property as collateral.
I'm gonna get that loan, open a new cafe.
This way the club stays open, I start a new business,
it's a win, win, eh?
Look at you!
Look how far you've come!
We did it Mary.
We did it.
One small step at a time.
But first I gotta make sure I don't spend
a longer stint in the big house for all my crimes
and misdemeanors, you know.
You're gonna need a good lawyer.
Define good.
I'm a divorce lawyer.
I usually don't handle criminal cases,
but I am an excellent lawyer.
He's excellent at everything.
- Geez, Dad. - Ooh.
Keep it in your pants.
And while I'm in jail, you keep it in your pants.
If it does go to trial, how much time is she looking at?
Well, if she's guilty on all charges,
probably two years.
Oh no.
Maybe I should just plead guilty.
Why would you do that?
Because I am guilty.
Shh!
And you told me that the judge would show
leniency if I was honest.
Well most of them would,
but I hear our judge is a real ball breaker.
So our best bet is to take this to a jury.
Yeah, but you know,
sometimes in life you just need to stand up
and take responsibility for your actions.
And today is my day to do just that.
All rise!
The Honorable Judge Andrews presiding.
She's gonna eat us alive.
Please be seated.
What is wrong with you?
Wow.
I always secretly hope for interesting cases,
and it looks like I got my wish.
As my old friend, Mary would say,
if life isn't interesting,
then you're just not trying hard enough.
Chuck, you know all that shit
I said about taking responsibility for my actions?
Uh-huh.
Today is not the day.
Counselor, how does your client plead?
Not guilty.
Counselor?
Not guilty.
Anna, this is incredible!
We didn't have this many customers
in a month at the old place.
I know.
We've got happy customers.
We've got money in the cash register.
- Which is very unnatural. - Yeah.
But I think I can get used to it.
You ready to go?
Yeah!
Oh, will you cover for me?
Absolutely.
Go get 'em tiger.
Oh, hey, don't forget those handcuffs.
Always got 'em on my belt baby girl.
What?
I told you I was going to have her.
And you know what I said about my tongue
setting her pubes aflame?
Stop.
Didn't happen.
'Cause she doesn't have any!
- Okay, stop! - Ha ha!
Fresh as a daisy down there!
- Smooth, smooth! - Stop.
I am begging you to stop.
Like a hairless cat!
I think I'm in love.
Let's get prepared to rumble!
All right!
I love the new club, Anna.
The vibe is really awesome!
Thank you!
Well done, Anna.
Whoa, that was...
What?
Where are you from?
People have always tried to define me
by pinpointing where I'm from.
I thought it shouldn't matter, but it got to me.
So I learned eight different languages,
and now I'm from everywhere.
These look like your size.
Better than tape, that's for sure.
Oh, I got plans for the tape.
Oh, is that an illusion to a future sexual encounter?
Actually, no, I'm really into arts and crafts,
but I like the way you think.
Yo Anna!
Get your ass in the ring.
I gotta go get my ass in the ring.
All right, well I'm gonna watch it all the way.
Are you sure you two wanna do this?
Oh hell yeah.
I've always wanted to punch her in the face.
Who says dreams don't come true?
Having a doctor for boyfriend is gonna
be real useful in a few seconds.
Already has been.
He gave me a breast exam last night.
Sure didn't take very long
because you've got tiny titties.
Okay, I got no comeback.
but all I wanna say is thank you, for everything.
You turned my life around.
You turned your life around friend.
I just gave you a nudge in the right direction.
All right, this is getting too sentimental.
When do we get to hit each other?
Bring it on!
Back up, back up, back up fighters!
And,
fight!
- Ah, that fucking hurt! - Plastic surgeon!
I need a plastic surgeon!
Roy!
Hey, yeah, I'm great.
I'm just here to pay up Murphy's tab.
How much does he owe you?
What the-
I'm not afraid of you Cobra Kai.
I'm gonna hurt you, so badly.
You see how fast I was with my tongue?
I'm a lousy doctor anyway.
I was drunk half the time.
Woof.
Oh my God!
Please be seated.
To the center, Fighters!
A Fight Club?
Another drink?
You better get used to disappointment bitch.
Really awesome!
Never do back down.