1
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[romantic instrumental music playing]
2
00:01:01,083 --> 00:01:03,333
[The Oracle] A wise person
once said about love,
3
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,541
"We live in a universe
that's ruled by chaos and chance,
4
00:01:07,833 --> 00:01:11,041
where all it takes is just one moment
of ill fortune
5
00:01:11,458 --> 00:01:15,208
for all our hopes and dreams
to go right down the shitter."
6
00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:22,916
You can do it. You can do it.
You can-- Just kiss her.
7
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:24,000
Just...
8
00:01:24,083 --> 00:01:25,500
She likes you, all right?
9
00:01:25,583 --> 00:01:27,250
Yeah, I think-- I think-- Yeah, she does.
10
00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:28,916
No, she doesn't. She does. She does.
11
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,125
You've spent the whole weekend
putting off this moment,
12
00:01:31,208 --> 00:01:34,000
and now you're actually out of time.
13
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,500
Literally, out of time.
14
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,750
Right, this is it, this is it.
This is your moment. This is...
15
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,958
-[knocking]
-[man, in Italian] How long does it take?
16
00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:45,000
One second!
17
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[exhales] Okay.
18
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:50,833
Yeah.
19
00:01:52,041 --> 00:01:52,916
-Hey.
-Hey.
20
00:01:53,166 --> 00:01:55,750
-Everything okay?
-Yeah, just a bit of tummy trouble.
21
00:01:56,625 --> 00:01:59,875
-I was worried you might miss your flight.
-No, I've got a few minutes.
22
00:02:01,958 --> 00:02:04,000
Can you believe how lucky your sister got?
23
00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:07,458
She gets sent off to Rome for work,
and I get sent off to war-torn hellholes.
24
00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:09,541
Well, I suppose if you're gonna be
a war journalist,
25
00:02:09,625 --> 00:02:11,500
that might, more or less,
be what you'd expect.
26
00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:12,750
Okay, smartass.
27
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:14,416
[chuckles]
28
00:02:16,416 --> 00:02:17,291
This has, uh...
29
00:02:19,375 --> 00:02:21,791
This has been a pretty special weekend.
30
00:02:23,958 --> 00:02:24,791
Yeah.
31
00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:28,416
I have to admit that when Hayley
told me her older brother
32
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:31,958
was coming to visit the same weekend
that I was coming, I was pretty bummed,
33
00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:35,625
but it turns out you're not as irritating
as I thought you'd be.
34
00:02:35,916 --> 00:02:36,833
Wow.
35
00:02:36,916 --> 00:02:39,750
Uh, I think that's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.
36
00:02:39,833 --> 00:02:42,333
Well, that's the nicest thing
I've ever said to anyone, so...
37
00:02:42,416 --> 00:02:45,333
-Well, then I'm doubly honored. Thank you.
-[laughs] You're welcome.
38
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,750
[both laugh]
39
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,583
But, seriously, thanks for...
40
00:02:50,708 --> 00:02:51,958
an amazing time.
41
00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:54,458
I don't think I've met anyone
quite like you.
42
00:02:55,416 --> 00:02:56,791
You're just a charmer, huh?
43
00:02:56,875 --> 00:03:01,166
No, I promise you I'm not.
I'm a terrible, terrible charmer.
44
00:03:01,250 --> 00:03:02,125
[chuckles]
45
00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:03,875
Uh, I'm just being honest.
46
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:05,916
[chuckles softly]
47
00:03:09,625 --> 00:03:11,625
[gentle romantic music playing]
48
00:03:12,416 --> 00:03:14,125
Ah, um... [chuckles]
49
00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:15,750
So...
50
00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:18,125
So, so... [chuckles]
51
00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:26,250
-[music stops]
-[man] Jack? Mate!
52
00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:29,000
[laughs] What are the chances?
What are you doing here?
53
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,000
Uh...
54
00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:32,208
-Greg!
-[Jack] Yeah, no, Greg!
55
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[stammers] Yeah, I remember.
56
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:34,916
Sorry.
57
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,291
-Hi. Dina.
-Nice to meet you.
58
00:03:36,375 --> 00:03:37,250
Nice to meet you, too.
59
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:39,875
-We used to share a dorm at university.
-Oh. [chuckles]
60
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We used to call him Mr. Wank.
61
00:03:43,416 --> 00:03:44,666
Because he used to wank a lot.
62
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-I don't think that was me.
-No, that was definitely you!
63
00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:49,166
Anyway...
64
00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:51,333
I've actually got to get back to London.
65
00:03:51,416 --> 00:03:53,083
-I'm going to the airport.
-No way. Me too.
66
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,291
-Shut up.
-I'm literally going right now.
67
00:03:55,375 --> 00:03:57,250
-Yeah, I've got a car. I could drive us.
-Really?
68
00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:58,333
[Greg] Yeah.
69
00:03:58,416 --> 00:03:59,583
[Jack] It's not a problem.
70
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,458
Oh, so you're gonna go now?
71
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,083
Yeah.
72
00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:12,916
I guess I am...
73
00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:14,625
going now.
74
00:04:14,708 --> 00:04:15,708
Um...
75
00:04:16,041 --> 00:04:17,041
Oh, okay.
76
00:04:17,125 --> 00:04:19,250
Can I-- I just have to say goodbye...
77
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,041
Um, you know, uh...
78
00:04:21,791 --> 00:04:23,666
Don't know when
we'll see each other again, so...
79
00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:25,041
Sure, yeah. Go ahead.
80
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:30,083
Uh...
81
00:04:30,458 --> 00:04:31,583
So, thank you...
82
00:04:32,125 --> 00:04:33,625
again for an amazing...
83
00:04:35,458 --> 00:04:37,000
-weekend.
-Yeah, it was--
84
00:04:37,291 --> 00:04:39,250
-Oh, sorry. I thought--
-Oh, okay. Uh...
85
00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:40,916
Yeah.
86
00:04:41,541 --> 00:04:43,375
-Nice to meet you.
-Oh, nice to meet you, too.
87
00:04:43,458 --> 00:04:44,625
This is happening.
88
00:04:44,708 --> 00:04:46,166
-Come on, Wank.
-Yup.
89
00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:51,000
-Mate, can you believe what luck this is?
-No, no, I actually can't.
90
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,041
[The Oracle] And so,
91
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:55,833
with the coincidental appearance
of just one twat from the past,
92
00:04:55,916 --> 00:04:59,916
chance comes along and gives love
a massive kick in the ballsack.
93
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:02,125
As the wise person would say,
94
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"Chance can be a real bastard."
95
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["La nostra favola" playing]
96
00:06:21,375 --> 00:06:27,083
[church bells tolling]
97
00:06:32,375 --> 00:06:34,500
[romantic instrumental music playing]
98
00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:35,791
[woman, in Italian] Done.
99
00:06:36,291 --> 00:06:37,250
Be careful.
100
00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:49,083
[woman, in Italian] It's okay for me.
That's fine.
101
00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:51,791
-You're beautiful.
-[woman 2, in Italian] She's perfect.
102
00:06:52,458 --> 00:06:53,291
Are you excited?
103
00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:54,208
[laughs]
104
00:06:58,083 --> 00:07:00,750
-[woman 2] It's okay? Here we are.
-[man, in Italian] She's perfect.
105
00:07:00,833 --> 00:07:02,500
-[Haley, in Italian] Thank you.
-You're welcome.
106
00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:03,708
[in Italian] Congratulations!
107
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:04,708
Bye.
108
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[door closes]
109
00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:12,958
[exhales nervously]
110
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It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine.
111
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Absolutely fine!
112
00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:34,250
-Good morning.
-[woman] Good morning.
113
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[knocking]
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Hayles?
115
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:43,333
Hayley?
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[Hayley] Yeah, just a second.
117
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You okay?
118
00:07:47,791 --> 00:07:49,750
-Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
-What's going on?
119
00:07:50,666 --> 00:07:52,208
Getting married is stressful, isn't it?
120
00:07:53,833 --> 00:07:56,208
The only reason I slept at all
is because I'm taking these...
121
00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:59,708
these sleep drops that are literally
strong enough to knock out a horse.
122
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,125
Oh, my God. Do I look okay?
123
00:08:01,666 --> 00:08:02,791
You look stunning.
124
00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:06,250
[sighs] Life's random, isn't it?
125
00:08:06,583 --> 00:08:10,583
I mean, one minute I'm exchanging
obscenities with a stranger in a car park,
126
00:08:10,666 --> 00:08:14,500
and the next, we're six months on,
totally in love and getting married.
127
00:08:14,583 --> 00:08:15,750
[growls playfully]
128
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I wish Mum and Dad were here.
129
00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:23,166
I know.
130
00:08:23,541 --> 00:08:24,458
Yeah.
131
00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:26,416
-[clears throat]
-It's all right.
132
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:27,416
-[knock at door]
-Yeah.
133
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:30,583
[man] Is there a bride
in the fuckin' house?!
134
00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:34,791
Oh, my God, Hayley-cakes!
135
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:37,875
You look absolutely amazing.
136
00:08:37,958 --> 00:08:41,166
Thanks, Bryan. Everything okay?
You know your role? You're all right?
137
00:08:41,250 --> 00:08:42,541
-Yeah. I'm great.
-Yeah?
138
00:08:42,625 --> 00:08:44,291
Um, couple of questions, though.
139
00:08:44,375 --> 00:08:47,250
Can we stop calling it "maid of honor"
and call it "man of honor" instead?
140
00:08:47,333 --> 00:08:48,583
No. Second question?
141
00:08:48,666 --> 00:08:50,458
Only because I'm a man, obviously, but...
142
00:08:50,541 --> 00:08:51,375
Secondly,
143
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,750
am I sitting next to Vitelli?
144
00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,500
-No.
-Okay.
145
00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:56,791
Uh...
146
00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:58,458
Uh, why not?
147
00:08:58,541 --> 00:09:01,166
I mean, you know,
he's casting for a new film right now.
148
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:03,541
Do you have any idea what
that could do for my career?
149
00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:05,041
-Give you one?
-Exactly.
150
00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:07,458
I had to put all the English people
on the same table, but don't worry.
151
00:09:07,541 --> 00:09:09,250
-I will introduce you. I promise.
-All right. Sorry.
152
00:09:09,333 --> 00:09:11,875
It's your day anyway. As long
as I'm not sitting next to Rebecca.
153
00:09:11,958 --> 00:09:14,541
'Cause I can't handle her
holding onto me all night, 'cause she'll--
154
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:16,833
-Sorry. I'll shut up.
-Yeah, good.
155
00:09:17,291 --> 00:09:18,166
Um... [laughs]
156
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,333
I think I'm ready.
157
00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:22,625
[Bryan] Oh, my God!
[imitates a trumpet fanfare]
158
00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:25,708
This is happening!
My sister's getting married!
159
00:09:25,791 --> 00:09:26,750
[Bryan] Yes, she is!
160
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,083
I'm gonna see you there.
Just got to have a quick haircut.
161
00:09:29,625 --> 00:09:31,375
What, now?
You'll be late for the ceremony.
162
00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:32,375
Yeah, Bryan?
163
00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:34,166
Wow! How long have we known each other?
164
00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:36,250
And you still have absolutely
no faith in me, do you?
165
00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:37,750
-No.
-None whatsoever.
166
00:09:38,041 --> 00:09:40,791
I'm meeting Federico Vitelli.
I can't do it with shit hair.
167
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,500
It's fine. Just go. Don't be late, okay?
It's my wedding day!
168
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:46,583
-[Jack] Please don't be late, Bryan.
-It's my wedding day, Bryan.
169
00:09:46,666 --> 00:09:48,500
-He's gonna be late.
-Let's go.
170
00:09:49,208 --> 00:09:52,666
-Uh, Hayley, just... small thing.
-Yeah?
171
00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:54,916
This English table.
Amanda's not on that, right?
172
00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:56,666
Ah.
173
00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:58,208
-She is. Okay.
-Listen.
174
00:09:58,291 --> 00:10:00,000
I'm really sorry. I had no choice.
175
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:01,000
Is that cool?
176
00:10:01,208 --> 00:10:06,791
Is it cool to be sat next to my nightmare
of an ex-girlfriend for a whole day?
177
00:10:06,875 --> 00:10:09,250
Look, no, it's-- it's fine.
It's gonna be fine, okay?
178
00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:12,541
[door opens]
179
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,166
[Italian pop music playing]
180
00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:20,166
I'll tell you what,
181
00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:22,291
I'm not having us having
a foreign wedding.
182
00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:24,416
Well, I haven't said yes to us
getting married yet.
183
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,541
Yes, I'm well aware of that, believe me.
184
00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:28,833
My friends think it's mental
you haven't jumped at the chance.
185
00:10:28,916 --> 00:10:31,208
To spend the rest of your life
with someone is a big deal.
186
00:10:31,291 --> 00:10:33,125
It's not a decision I'm just
gonna jump into.
187
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:34,500
I asked you six months ago.
188
00:10:34,583 --> 00:10:36,375
Ugh, here we go.
189
00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:37,500
Amanda!
190
00:10:37,583 --> 00:10:38,541
That's...
191
00:10:40,625 --> 00:10:41,583
Here you go, mate.
192
00:10:41,666 --> 00:10:44,875
You know, I actually thought "penne"
was the Italian for "penis,"
193
00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:47,541
because of their kind of small,
like, tube-like...
194
00:10:47,791 --> 00:10:50,666
But it's actually just "penne"
is just the Italian for "penne."
195
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,750
Did you just buy that to piss me off?
196
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:54,333
No, I wore it 'cause it looks cool.
197
00:10:55,541 --> 00:10:57,125
You look like a fucking magician.
198
00:10:57,208 --> 00:10:58,125
How the--
199
00:10:58,625 --> 00:10:59,875
It cost me three grand.
200
00:11:01,375 --> 00:11:03,083
Oh, my God! Amanda, hi!
201
00:11:03,166 --> 00:11:05,750
-Oh, wow! You look gorgeous.
-Thank you, love.
202
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,083
Have they booked a cabaret act?
203
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,250
-No. I'm Amanda's boyfriend.
-And you're in the cabaret!
204
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:11,333
-That's amazing!
-No.
205
00:11:11,416 --> 00:11:13,625
I didn't know you had a new boyfriend.
That's good.
206
00:11:13,708 --> 00:11:16,291
I'm so glad you've moved on
from that last guy you were seeing.
207
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:18,666
What was his name? Chaz?
Last time I saw her she was like,
208
00:11:18,750 --> 00:11:20,416
"I'm seeing this dickhead."
209
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,958
No, I'm Chaz.
210
00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:23,916
-What?
-I'm Chaz, so...
211
00:11:25,041 --> 00:11:26,833
Oh, my God.
212
00:11:27,708 --> 00:11:29,666
Have you gone out
with two Chazes in a row?
213
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,916
That is such a unique name.
That's nuts.
214
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,125
Sidney? Sidney, is that you? Sidney!
215
00:11:34,208 --> 00:11:35,541
Oh, my God, I didn't know--
216
00:11:35,625 --> 00:11:37,250
I'm coming. Excuse me.
217
00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:39,666
Chaz, darling, this is Sidney.
218
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,833
-Hello, Amanda, how are you?
-Our old flatmate.
219
00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:43,541
Who, for some reason, is wearing a kilt,
220
00:11:43,625 --> 00:11:46,041
even though he isn't remotely Scottish.
221
00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:47,416
Yes, I've gone there.
222
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,333
Already regretting it slightly.
223
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:51,250
It's quite a heavy plaid,
224
00:11:51,333 --> 00:11:53,083
and it's already starting to, um...
225
00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:55,875
chafe a little bit in the old groinal...
226
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:57,916
area.
227
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:01,041
The testicles. Hm.
228
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,500
-Shall we go in?
-Yeah.
229
00:12:04,583 --> 00:12:05,958
Yes, let's go in. Let's go in.
230
00:12:06,041 --> 00:12:07,833
How long have you been
in the cabaret business?
231
00:12:07,916 --> 00:12:09,541
I'm not. I'm a music producer.
232
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:12,083
-Who the hell's this other Chaz guy?
-Don't worry about it.
233
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:15,125
My balls. My dear, old balls.
I think they'll be fine.
234
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,541
It's just sort of working out a way
of managing them.
235
00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:19,666
[romantic instrumental music playing]
236
00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:38,666
All right, you ready?
237
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:41,625
Yeah. [laughs]
238
00:12:41,708 --> 00:12:42,791
Yeah, I think so.
239
00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:44,666
Come on.
240
00:12:45,458 --> 00:12:46,500
Wait, Jack, um...
241
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:48,625
-Look, I--
-What's up?
242
00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:51,208
You know that I would've...
243
00:12:52,541 --> 00:12:54,750
I would've given anything for Dad
to be here today.
244
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:58,125
But having you walk me
down the aisle is...
245
00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,666
-Oh...
-...is the next best thing
246
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:01,625
that I could ask for, so...
247
00:13:04,291 --> 00:13:05,375
[Hayley clicks her tongue]
248
00:13:08,541 --> 00:13:11,375
Also, can you look after
my bag of pills, please?
249
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:12,791
Thanks.
250
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:14,000
Sure.
251
00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:19,416
Let's get you hitched.
252
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:20,583
Getting hitched!
253
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:22,083
-Aah!
-[laughs]
254
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:23,416
-Come on.
-Okay.
255
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,125
[kids laughing]
256
00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:28,083
[indistinct chatter]
257
00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:30,041
["Canon in D" by Pachelbel playing]
258
00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,083
[laughter]
259
00:13:44,708 --> 00:13:47,666
-[Hayley] Where the fuck is Bryan?
-[Jack] He'll be here.
260
00:13:47,750 --> 00:13:49,833
[Hayley] Why is he getting
a fucking haircut now?
261
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:50,958
What's wrong with him?
262
00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:53,666
Oh, God! Why did I decide to do this?
263
00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:55,666
Because you love him.
264
00:13:57,333 --> 00:13:58,250
[Jack] All right?
265
00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,500
[Hayley chuckles]
266
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:03,708
Yeah.
267
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,125
Okay. Let's do this.
268
00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:10,583
Oh, no. I nearly forgot to tell you.
269
00:14:10,666 --> 00:14:13,250
You remember Dina,
my American friend that you met in Rome?
270
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:14,541
-Yeah.
-She's here.
271
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:17,791
Uh... [stammers]
272
00:14:17,875 --> 00:14:18,958
-What?
-Yeah.
273
00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:21,250
Sorry, wait, wait, wait...
274
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,166
You said she definitely couldn't come,
275
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:25,333
and besides that, she had
a boyfriend anyway, right?
276
00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:28,833
Yeah, well, it turns out she can come,
and she's broken up with her boyfriend.
277
00:14:28,916 --> 00:14:31,125
-Yeah. Come on, let's go.
-W-Wait.
278
00:14:32,333 --> 00:14:33,250
Okay.
279
00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:35,250
Okay.
280
00:14:36,458 --> 00:14:37,291
[exhales sharply]
281
00:14:37,791 --> 00:14:38,750
[Hayley laughs]
282
00:14:38,833 --> 00:14:40,291
-[Jack] Mm-hmm?
-[Hayley] Yeah.
283
00:14:46,541 --> 00:14:47,541
[Hayley] Oh, my God.
284
00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:09,416
[priest, in Italian] Welcome to all.
285
00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:12,708
[in English] We are gathered here today
to bring together
286
00:15:12,916 --> 00:15:15,041
Roberto and Hayley.
287
00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:16,791
Ladies and gentlemen...
288
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,375
[Bryan panting loudly]
289
00:15:20,458 --> 00:15:22,375
Sorry. Told you I'd make it.
290
00:15:22,958 --> 00:15:23,875
[clears throat]
291
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:28,208
Andrea, this is my brother, Jack.
And this is my maid of honor, Bryan.
292
00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:29,416
Ciao, ciao.
293
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,125
[Hayley] This is Sophia, Roberto's mother.
294
00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:32,500
[Jack] Hello.
295
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:33,541
Hi.
296
00:15:35,458 --> 00:15:36,666
Hello. Um...
297
00:15:37,833 --> 00:15:39,083
Okay!
298
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:41,166
Nice to meet you all.
299
00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:44,125
[Hayley laughs]
300
00:15:44,875 --> 00:15:46,625
-He just kissed me full on the mouth.
-Me too.
301
00:15:46,708 --> 00:15:48,125
I think I got some tongue, actually.
302
00:15:48,208 --> 00:15:49,625
Oh, you're not in the cabaret.
303
00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:51,000
I love your suit, though.
304
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,458
-Good, innit? Thank you.
-Yeah.
305
00:15:52,541 --> 00:15:55,291
My six-year-old nephew
has one just exactly like that.
306
00:15:55,625 --> 00:15:57,833
-Six-year-old nephew.
-Sounds like a pretty cool kid.
307
00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,958
Yeah, except his trousers
are attached to the top half,
308
00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:02,666
and he's just got this little flap
to let his little [blows raspberry] out.
309
00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:05,083
-No, this has got the classic zip.
-[zips fly]
310
00:16:05,875 --> 00:16:08,708
Look, I suppose I should go mingle
with my new relatives.
311
00:16:08,791 --> 00:16:09,916
Go, go, go.
312
00:16:11,625 --> 00:16:14,000
-Don't get emotional.
-No, I won't, I won't, I won't.
313
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:15,875
Oh, man.
314
00:16:15,958 --> 00:16:17,708
-She looks so happy.
-Yeah.
315
00:16:19,041 --> 00:16:20,250
Did you even get your hair cut?
316
00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,166
-It looks exactly the same.
-No, it doesn't.
317
00:16:22,250 --> 00:16:23,166
-It does.
-It's rounder.
318
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,625
-Mate--
-It's rounder, Jack.
319
00:16:37,208 --> 00:16:38,458
[sighs deeply]
320
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:40,541
Hot.
321
00:16:41,541 --> 00:16:43,291
-Yeah, it's really hot today.
-Very hot.
322
00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:44,416
It's pretty, though.
323
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:45,625
Oh, what a dress!
324
00:16:45,708 --> 00:16:46,958
-Thank you very much.
-Beautiful.
325
00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:49,666
Appreciate that. You as well.
I mean, it's not-- It's not a dress.
326
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:51,041
This is a kilt.
327
00:16:51,708 --> 00:16:53,375
[chuckles] Yeah, I know. Yeah.
328
00:16:53,916 --> 00:16:56,458
Traditional Scottish... dress.
329
00:16:56,541 --> 00:16:58,166
-Right. I knew that.
-Yes.
330
00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,125
I'm not Scottish.
331
00:16:59,208 --> 00:17:00,333
-You're not?
-No.
332
00:17:00,416 --> 00:17:01,875
Then why are you wearing a kilt?
333
00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:12,166
[exhales] The old Italian sun.
334
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:14,000
Huh.
335
00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:17,791
Lichen. [clears throat]
336
00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:19,958
Um... Oh.
337
00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:20,875
Deary me.
338
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:22,625
I don't think you--
339
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,916
I don't think you should...
340
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:25,708
So, where's your other half?
341
00:17:26,208 --> 00:17:27,458
Oh, no other half.
342
00:17:27,541 --> 00:17:29,333
Just, you know, half a person today.
343
00:17:29,625 --> 00:17:31,291
-I'm half a person.
-You are?
344
00:17:31,375 --> 00:17:32,625
Oh, well...
345
00:17:33,166 --> 00:17:34,791
-Deal?
-Deal.
346
00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:36,416
-Wedding buddies.
-Oh.
347
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:38,166
Is that-- That was the deal we made?
348
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:39,791
-We shook on it.
-We shook.
349
00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:41,666
What do wedding buddies do?
350
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,708
We hang out a little bit.
351
00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:48,416
[Sidney clears throat, grunts]
352
00:17:49,916 --> 00:17:51,416
-Would you like a drink?
-I'm good--
353
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,500
They're free.
354
00:17:52,958 --> 00:17:54,000
-Two champagnes?
-Yeah.
355
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,000
-It is, uh, free, but--
-I'll be right back.
356
00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:57,833
-No, I'm okay.
-You don't go anywhere.
357
00:17:59,625 --> 00:18:00,541
[sighs]
358
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,041
-[Bryan] God, there he is.
-[Jack] Who?
359
00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,000
Vitelli.
360
00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:08,583
-Oh, wow.
-Yeah. He makes movie stars, Jack.
361
00:18:08,666 --> 00:18:09,541
Movie stars.
362
00:18:09,625 --> 00:18:11,458
I've got one chance to impress him.
363
00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:13,375
Maybe you can do it
with your speech later on.
364
00:18:13,458 --> 00:18:14,333
Yeah.
365
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:15,875
What speech?
366
00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:17,291
Your maid of honor speech.
367
00:18:17,375 --> 00:18:19,250
No one told me I've got
a maid of honor speech.
368
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,875
-Yeah, it's in the program.
-No, I don't think I do.
369
00:18:22,416 --> 00:18:23,875
Oh, no!
370
00:18:24,208 --> 00:18:26,416
-I've got nothing prepared!
-[Jack] It's gonna be fine.
371
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,583
-It's not gonna be fine.
-Just riff one out, man!
372
00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:30,125
-Shit, there's Rebecca.
-Just vibe it.
373
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:32,250
Don't leave me alone with her, please.
She clings on.
374
00:18:32,333 --> 00:18:33,541
-I can't shake her.
-Oi, boys!
375
00:18:33,625 --> 00:18:36,333
-Yoo! Hiya!
-Wahey! Here we are!
376
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,333
[imitates car horn] You know what that is!
377
00:18:38,416 --> 00:18:40,666
That's the fun car,
ready to pick you all up.
378
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:41,916
[Bryan] Thank you.
379
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,875
[imitates train engine]
Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun!
380
00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:45,958
-[chuckles] The fun train. Get aboard.
-[Jack] Ho!
381
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,333
-There it is.
-[Rebecca laughs]
382
00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:49,291
-Wow, you look amazing.
-Thanks.
383
00:18:49,375 --> 00:18:51,208
-You do. You look fantastic.
-You too.
384
00:18:51,291 --> 00:18:52,500
It's so nice to see you.
385
00:18:52,791 --> 00:18:54,125
[chuckles]
386
00:18:54,583 --> 00:18:56,750
-[Rebecca] You look really great.
-[Bryan] Oh, thank you.
387
00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:59,416
["Ideale" by Paolo Tosti playing]
388
00:19:12,875 --> 00:19:14,875
-I'm gonna--
-Did you get taller?
389
00:19:14,958 --> 00:19:17,250
-Are you wearing a Cuban heel?
-I'll be... Yeah...
390
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:18,583
-Jack?
-[Jack] One sec.
391
00:19:18,666 --> 00:19:20,083
-Jack? Jack!
-Yeah?
392
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:22,250
-Hey, I--
-You look brilliant.
393
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:23,666
-Thanks.
-I love your suit.
394
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:24,916
Thanks a lot, yeah. I just...
395
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,875
I'm going to find a drink
or something, I think.
396
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,166
Oh, yes, please.
397
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:29,875
Jack? Oh, my God.
398
00:19:31,208 --> 00:19:32,500
-Jack.
-Hi.
399
00:19:32,958 --> 00:19:33,791
Hi.
400
00:19:34,375 --> 00:19:35,958
-Hi.
-It's nice to see--
401
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:37,000
Hi.
402
00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:38,875
-[laughs]
-Nice to see you, too.
403
00:19:38,958 --> 00:19:40,000
God. Uh...
404
00:19:40,416 --> 00:19:41,291
Yeah, I...
405
00:19:41,625 --> 00:19:42,458
Good? You're good?
406
00:19:42,541 --> 00:19:44,500
-Yeah, I'm good.
-[stammers] Good. Yeah.
407
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,041
You look great.
408
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:47,333
Thanks.
409
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,791
Still can't believe you made me come
all the way out here
410
00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:51,958
just to stare at the guy
you were shagging for two years.
411
00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:53,291
Stop staring at him, then.
412
00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:55,416
At least you got an upgrade.
413
00:19:55,791 --> 00:19:58,291
-Pfft! What upgrade?
-What do you mean, "what upgrade"?
414
00:19:58,375 --> 00:19:59,791
I'm better looking than him,
415
00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,833
I'm taller,
and I'm definitely better in bed.
416
00:20:01,916 --> 00:20:03,666
How do you know?
Have you slept with him?
417
00:20:03,750 --> 00:20:05,750
Well, no. It's obvious, look at him.
He's just...
418
00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:07,083
What do you mean?
419
00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:08,791
Are you saying
that he's better in bed than me?
420
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,958
You know what?
I haven't had time for a full analysis.
421
00:20:11,041 --> 00:20:13,000
Really? Well, I have.
I've literally asked people,
422
00:20:13,083 --> 00:20:14,583
and they've all pretty much said,
423
00:20:14,666 --> 00:20:16,083
"Yeah, you're great. Cheers, mate."
424
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,750
-Go and stand over there, please.
-What?
425
00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:25,000
Further.
426
00:20:28,333 --> 00:20:29,166
This good?
427
00:20:29,791 --> 00:20:30,625
Perfect.
428
00:20:31,166 --> 00:20:32,000
[sighs]
429
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:37,458
[laughter]
430
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:46,833
-Are you okay?
-[camera shutter clicks]
431
00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:48,333
It's a bit overwhelming.
432
00:20:48,416 --> 00:20:50,208
No, I'm fine. We're fine.
433
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:51,875
I love you so much.
434
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,416
I just want you to have
the best day ever.
435
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:55,458
Oh.
436
00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:57,666
Nothing could spoil this day.
437
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:01,916
[sniffing loudly]
438
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,125
[Overture from
The Barber of Seville playing]
439
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,750
So, I was in my car
in this empty parking.
440
00:21:34,833 --> 00:21:36,125
Believe me, there was nobody.
441
00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:39,083
And Hayley come up to me and say...
442
00:21:39,166 --> 00:21:40,083
Fuck me.
443
00:21:44,458 --> 00:21:45,916
[woman, in Italian] What did she say?
444
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,125
Sorry. Sorry. Just, um...
445
00:21:48,208 --> 00:21:50,291
-[stammers] I'll be back in one second.
-Yeah, yeah.
446
00:21:50,708 --> 00:21:51,916
[in Italian] I understood that.
447
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,541
[in Italian] No, that's not
what she was trying to say.
448
00:21:54,625 --> 00:21:57,583
[indistinct chatter]
449
00:22:01,625 --> 00:22:02,666
[Hayley chuckles]
450
00:22:06,416 --> 00:22:08,250
-Hey.
-Marc.
451
00:22:08,333 --> 00:22:10,250
What the fuck are you doing here?
452
00:22:10,708 --> 00:22:11,791
You're surprised to see me?
453
00:22:11,875 --> 00:22:14,541
Yeah, I am a bit.
I mean, everyone else was invited.
454
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:15,708
What do you want?
455
00:22:15,791 --> 00:22:17,041
I know! I know!
456
00:22:17,125 --> 00:22:19,458
You felt like you had to
go through with this facade.
457
00:22:19,666 --> 00:22:21,458
But, uh... But I'm here now.
458
00:22:21,791 --> 00:22:25,250
And I'm ready for us to be a happy couple.
459
00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:27,083
What?
460
00:22:28,458 --> 00:22:32,083
Uh, I am already in a happy couple
with my husband,
461
00:22:32,166 --> 00:22:33,583
who's just in that next room.
462
00:22:33,666 --> 00:22:35,041
-Hello!
-[woman] Beautiful wedding.
463
00:22:35,125 --> 00:22:37,125
So nice of you.
I'll come and find you in a moment.
464
00:22:37,208 --> 00:22:38,208
I'll come and find you.
465
00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:39,875
I've told you several times,
I am not--
466
00:22:39,958 --> 00:22:41,583
-[in Italian] Congratulations.
-Thank you.
467
00:22:41,666 --> 00:22:44,166
-I am not interested.
-No, I know, I know, I know.
468
00:22:44,250 --> 00:22:46,791
Because-- Because you thought
I didn't really love you,
469
00:22:46,875 --> 00:22:49,666
but now I'm proving that I do
by doing something properly romantic.
470
00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:52,208
This is not properly romantic,
this is psychopathic!
471
00:22:52,291 --> 00:22:53,541
Please, Marc, just leave.
472
00:22:53,625 --> 00:22:55,416
-Just leave now, please.
-I just got here.
473
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,583
If you don't leave,
I will have security throw you out.
474
00:22:57,666 --> 00:22:59,541
Uh, why-- why don't you try that?
475
00:22:59,625 --> 00:23:00,708
See what happens.
476
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:02,875
-Listen, you tosser--
-Hayley.
477
00:23:03,375 --> 00:23:05,250
-Hey.
-Oh, Roberto. [laughs nervously]
478
00:23:05,333 --> 00:23:07,791
Is this one of your English friends
I'm always hearing about?
479
00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:09,375
Hi, I'm Roberto.
480
00:23:09,458 --> 00:23:11,125
-[Marc chuckles]
-Yes, yes, this is, uh...
481
00:23:11,791 --> 00:23:13,750
[stammers] This is Marc.
482
00:23:13,833 --> 00:23:16,666
Um, but he just popped in
and, sadly, can't stay.
483
00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:19,291
-Yes, I can.
-No. No, you can't, because...
484
00:23:19,375 --> 00:23:21,875
well, there's, um... there's nowhere
for you to sit, for a start.
485
00:23:21,958 --> 00:23:23,791
Oh, no, no, it's no problem.
486
00:23:23,958 --> 00:23:27,166
Your cousin, Laura, couldn't make it,
so we can put him on the English table.
487
00:23:27,250 --> 00:23:28,458
Oh!
488
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:30,166
There you go. Perfect.
489
00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:31,583
-Come. I'll organize.
-Brilliant.
490
00:23:31,666 --> 00:23:33,166
-Roberto, just...
-[Roberto] Come on.
491
00:23:33,250 --> 00:23:34,166
Um...
492
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:35,458
Yes...
493
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:37,833
[quietly] Fuck!
494
00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:39,416
[Jack] What about you?
495
00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:41,500
-You had a boyfriend.
-[Dina] Yeah. No more, though.
496
00:23:41,583 --> 00:23:44,291
He thought it was a good idea to sleep
with almost all of his staff.
497
00:23:44,375 --> 00:23:45,583
-[Jack] Ouch.
-So, yeah.
498
00:23:45,666 --> 00:23:48,958
So it was either fly out for Hayley's
beautiful wedding in Rome,
499
00:23:49,041 --> 00:23:51,250
or go home
and kick the living fuck out of him.
500
00:23:51,333 --> 00:23:52,333
[Jack] It's not too late.
501
00:23:52,416 --> 00:23:55,875
You know, you could always kick
the fuck out of him when you get back.
502
00:23:55,958 --> 00:23:56,833
Best of both worlds.
503
00:23:56,916 --> 00:23:59,125
[Dina] I get back on Tuesday.
I can fuck him up then.
504
00:23:59,416 --> 00:24:00,458
[Jack stammers]
505
00:24:00,875 --> 00:24:01,875
Just before we...
506
00:24:02,666 --> 00:24:03,500
Yeah?
507
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:06,333
Uh...
508
00:24:08,208 --> 00:24:10,416
I... I used to ask about you...
509
00:24:11,375 --> 00:24:12,291
all the time.
510
00:24:12,541 --> 00:24:13,583
[chuckles softly]
511
00:24:15,166 --> 00:24:16,583
I used to ask about you, too.
512
00:24:20,833 --> 00:24:22,000
[Jack] There she is!
513
00:24:22,083 --> 00:24:25,583
-Hi! You look so beautiful!
-So do you. It's so great to see you.
514
00:24:25,916 --> 00:24:28,000
-I'm just gonna borrow him. One second.
-Yeah.
515
00:24:28,083 --> 00:24:29,375
We'll be right back. Sorry.
516
00:24:29,458 --> 00:24:31,458
Hold that thought, please. Hold it.
517
00:24:31,791 --> 00:24:34,083
[Overture from
The Thieving Magpie playing]
518
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,958
[inaudible]
519
00:24:50,208 --> 00:24:51,833
Oh, my God, Hayles.
520
00:24:52,333 --> 00:24:54,458
She's even more gorgeous than I remember.
521
00:24:54,708 --> 00:24:56,375
Look, I know you're busy,
522
00:24:56,458 --> 00:24:58,291
but you said there was an English table.
523
00:24:58,375 --> 00:24:59,333
Is she on that table?
524
00:24:59,416 --> 00:25:01,625
Can you just--
Can you shut up for a second?
525
00:25:01,916 --> 00:25:04,083
Just listen to me
'cause I've got a bit of a problem.
526
00:25:04,166 --> 00:25:06,458
-Fine. What is it?
-Marc Fisher is here.
527
00:25:06,666 --> 00:25:08,250
-What, the creep from school?
-Yes.
528
00:25:08,333 --> 00:25:09,958
Why the hell did you invite him?
529
00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:11,833
I didn't invite him, he just came.
530
00:25:11,916 --> 00:25:13,083
Well, just tell him to leave.
531
00:25:13,166 --> 00:25:15,208
You can't just turn up
to a wedding uninvited.
532
00:25:15,291 --> 00:25:16,375
Jack, you don't understand.
533
00:25:16,458 --> 00:25:18,375
He's saying that he's in love with me,
534
00:25:18,458 --> 00:25:21,333
and he's threatening to go full-on psycho
and ruin my wedding!
535
00:25:21,958 --> 00:25:24,166
-He's what?
-I know. He's fucking nuts.
536
00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:26,333
And he's fucking coked up to his eyeballs!
537
00:25:26,666 --> 00:25:28,958
All right. Okay. Don't worry.
I'll-- I'll get him out.
538
00:25:29,041 --> 00:25:31,375
You can't! He's too volatile.
God knows how he'll react.
539
00:25:31,458 --> 00:25:34,583
-All right. So what, then?
-I don't know! I don't know! I don't know!
540
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,458
Oh, God. Have you got my pills?
541
00:25:37,250 --> 00:25:39,958
Come on. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
542
00:25:40,041 --> 00:25:43,083
-You're not gonna vom', are you?
-God, you better have a bucket.
543
00:25:43,166 --> 00:25:44,458
Fuck!
544
00:25:44,958 --> 00:25:45,791
Just don't vom--
545
00:25:45,875 --> 00:25:47,208
-Oh, my God.
-What?
546
00:25:47,291 --> 00:25:48,333
What? What? What?
547
00:25:49,666 --> 00:25:50,875
Yes. Yes.
548
00:25:51,541 --> 00:25:53,625
This is the sleep medicine
that I've been taking.
549
00:25:53,708 --> 00:25:55,708
Couple of drops of this,
it would knock him out for hours.
550
00:25:55,791 --> 00:25:57,041
It's seriously strong.
551
00:25:57,625 --> 00:25:59,416
-Sorry, what?
-[laughs]
552
00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:03,083
And Roberto has put him on your table.
Oh, my God, it's perfect.
553
00:26:03,166 --> 00:26:06,000
Just put a couple of drops of that
in his champagne glass.
554
00:26:06,083 --> 00:26:06,958
It'll be brilliant.
555
00:26:07,041 --> 00:26:09,666
But just use it sparingly
'cause it's the last that I have, okay?
556
00:26:09,750 --> 00:26:10,666
Put it in your pocket.
557
00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:12,250
-Just a quick question.
-Yes?
558
00:26:12,916 --> 00:26:14,125
Are you fucking mental?
559
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,791
I'm not gonna roofie Marc Fisher.
560
00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:18,083
Listen, Jack.
561
00:26:18,166 --> 00:26:20,875
Marc is just about mad enough
to ruin this whole wedding
562
00:26:20,958 --> 00:26:23,500
and humiliate me
in front of my new family,
563
00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:26,291
many of whom already think
I'm a bit of a dick.
564
00:26:26,375 --> 00:26:28,458
-There has to be another way.
-There is no other way.
565
00:26:28,541 --> 00:26:30,291
-There isn't. Please.
-There has to be.
566
00:26:30,375 --> 00:26:32,625
-No, there is no other way.
-There has to be another way!
567
00:26:32,708 --> 00:26:33,541
Jack--
568
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:36,625
Hayley! Why do you keep disappearing,
my beautiful?
569
00:26:36,708 --> 00:26:37,625
[laughs nervously]
570
00:26:37,708 --> 00:26:39,083
-We need to do the photos.
-Oh!
571
00:26:39,166 --> 00:26:40,583
-Hey.
-Hey. [chuckles]
572
00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:42,375
Your sister is an angel, isn't she?
573
00:26:42,458 --> 00:26:43,416
[Hayley laughs]
574
00:26:44,666 --> 00:26:45,708
-Yeah!
-Yes.
575
00:26:45,791 --> 00:26:46,666
Come.
576
00:26:47,833 --> 00:26:48,666
Hayley...
577
00:26:49,875 --> 00:26:52,083
Hayles? Hayles?
578
00:26:52,458 --> 00:26:53,416
Hayles?
579
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:54,416
Hayley!
580
00:26:58,500 --> 00:27:00,666
She's your sister. She's your sister.
She's your sister.
581
00:27:02,916 --> 00:27:03,916
Okay.
582
00:27:10,041 --> 00:27:10,875
Ciao.
583
00:27:37,916 --> 00:27:39,750
[whispers] You fucking owe me, Hayley.
584
00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:52,250
[The Oracle] Do you know
how many different ways eight people
585
00:27:52,333 --> 00:27:53,416
can sit around a table?
586
00:27:54,208 --> 00:27:56,916
No, don't try to work it out.
It's really complicated math.
587
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:57,958
You won't be able to.
588
00:27:58,458 --> 00:27:59,541
But there are thousands.
589
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:00,916
Trust me.
590
00:28:01,208 --> 00:28:02,458
Look it up later.
591
00:28:03,041 --> 00:28:04,375
Anyway, the point is,
592
00:28:04,458 --> 00:28:08,250
something as seemingly insignificant
as where we're sitting at a table
593
00:28:09,041 --> 00:28:10,583
is actually chance
594
00:28:11,208 --> 00:28:13,750
dictating whether love will succeed
595
00:28:14,166 --> 00:28:15,041
or fail.
596
00:28:17,375 --> 00:28:20,291
[The Thieving Magpie overture crescendos]
597
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,375
[wedding host] Signore e signori,
ladies and gentlemen...
598
00:28:30,458 --> 00:28:32,333
[host speaking Italian]
599
00:28:33,583 --> 00:28:35,791
[in English] Please be seated.
Lunch will be served.
600
00:28:37,666 --> 00:28:39,666
["La donna è mobile" by Verdi playing]
601
00:28:48,625 --> 00:28:50,583
[Bryan] Come on. Come on. Come on.
602
00:28:50,666 --> 00:28:52,666
He's just a man. No different to anyone.
603
00:28:53,583 --> 00:28:57,000
[Bryan] A handsome, imposing,
successful man.
604
00:28:57,083 --> 00:28:59,458
But it's fine.
Just go over and say hello for God's sake.
605
00:28:59,541 --> 00:29:00,625
"Hi, I'm Bryan."
606
00:29:00,708 --> 00:29:01,666
See, it's easy.
607
00:29:02,458 --> 00:29:03,750
He's only human.
608
00:29:03,833 --> 00:29:05,541
He goes to the toilet
just like anyone else.
609
00:29:06,166 --> 00:29:07,208
Just imagine him naked.
610
00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:08,958
Yeah, a naked man.
611
00:29:09,041 --> 00:29:11,125
Just a naked man shitting on a toilet.
612
00:29:27,208 --> 00:29:29,375
Oh, we're sat beside each other.
How fun is that?
613
00:29:29,458 --> 00:29:30,791
-Brilliant.
-[Rebecca chuckles]
614
00:29:32,791 --> 00:29:34,208
[music stops]
615
00:29:34,291 --> 00:29:36,708
[guests applaud]
616
00:29:37,166 --> 00:29:38,083
Thanks.
617
00:29:41,458 --> 00:29:42,291
Mm.
618
00:29:42,375 --> 00:29:43,208
Thank you.
619
00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:46,583
More, please. Thanks.
620
00:29:48,666 --> 00:29:50,166
Ahh!
621
00:29:50,666 --> 00:29:51,708
[Rebecca chuckles]
622
00:29:51,833 --> 00:29:52,708
Hi.
623
00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:54,000
[Rebecca] Hi.
624
00:29:54,208 --> 00:29:56,041
[Dina] I'm here. And you are...
625
00:29:56,625 --> 00:29:57,833
-There. Right.
-Not quite...
626
00:29:58,291 --> 00:29:59,458
Okay.
627
00:29:59,541 --> 00:30:01,125
We can just, you know,
wave at each other.
628
00:30:03,375 --> 00:30:04,541
-Hi.
-[Rebecca] Hi.
629
00:30:04,666 --> 00:30:05,916
-Hello, I'm Bryan.
-Dina.
630
00:30:06,333 --> 00:30:07,166
Wait...
631
00:30:07,750 --> 00:30:08,708
Wait a second...
632
00:30:10,541 --> 00:30:11,833
Hey, man. Hey.
633
00:30:14,375 --> 00:30:15,791
Look, can I just, uh...
634
00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:19,333
Cheers.
635
00:30:20,250 --> 00:30:21,666
-[Jack murmurs]
-[Dina laughs]
636
00:30:21,750 --> 00:30:22,625
Uh...
637
00:30:23,375 --> 00:30:25,083
There's no way his cock's
bigger than mine.
638
00:30:25,166 --> 00:30:27,250
It might be thicker,
but it's definitely not longer.
639
00:30:27,333 --> 00:30:29,166
Are you seriously
still going on about this?
640
00:30:29,458 --> 00:30:30,500
Well, yeah.
641
00:30:31,208 --> 00:30:34,041
For you information,
thicker is just as important.
642
00:30:34,125 --> 00:30:36,541
You don't want a long, thin pencil dick
going up there.
643
00:30:37,208 --> 00:30:39,333
-Have I got a pencil dick?
-Can you please stop?
644
00:30:39,416 --> 00:30:41,875
-You're like a 12-year-old.
-I haven't got the equipment of one.
645
00:30:41,958 --> 00:30:43,833
No, you don't.
You have the brain of one, though.
646
00:30:43,916 --> 00:30:44,875
Okay, well...
647
00:30:46,625 --> 00:30:48,500
-[Bryan] Hey.
-[Rebecca] Oh, hello.
648
00:30:51,625 --> 00:30:53,250
You have got to be kidding me.
649
00:30:53,583 --> 00:30:55,791
Oh, great. I'm not even sitting with you.
650
00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:57,916
[Chaz] I've got to sit
with people I don't know.
651
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,500
What was your sister thinking, Jack?
652
00:30:59,583 --> 00:31:01,583
You know, I have really no idea.
653
00:31:01,916 --> 00:31:03,541
-All right? [sighs]
-[Dina] Hi.
654
00:31:03,875 --> 00:31:05,000
This is brilliant, innit?
655
00:31:05,083 --> 00:31:06,083
[Sidney] Ah!
656
00:31:08,125 --> 00:31:09,791
-We're meant to be together.
-Mm.
657
00:31:09,875 --> 00:31:10,833
Apparently.
658
00:31:13,125 --> 00:31:14,833
[sighs deeply]
659
00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:17,625
-Hi, everyone.
-[Chaz] All right, mate?
660
00:31:21,083 --> 00:31:22,333
What's Marc Fisher doing here?
661
00:31:22,791 --> 00:31:23,833
Uh, I'll explain later.
662
00:31:23,916 --> 00:31:26,458
[wedding host] Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. and Mrs. Carboni.
663
00:31:30,125 --> 00:31:31,833
[audience cheering in Italian]
664
00:31:32,125 --> 00:31:34,000
[glasses clinking]
665
00:31:37,791 --> 00:31:39,625
Cheers. Cheers, guys. Marc.
666
00:31:40,083 --> 00:31:42,791
[Jack] Welcome to table four.
Yeah, to table four.
667
00:31:42,875 --> 00:31:44,500
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
668
00:31:45,208 --> 00:31:46,500
[Sidney] Cheers.
669
00:31:48,875 --> 00:31:50,416
-To us.
-Cheers. [chuckles]
670
00:31:50,500 --> 00:31:51,458
Could be.
671
00:31:53,333 --> 00:31:54,250
[Sidney murmurs]
672
00:31:55,125 --> 00:31:55,958
[Dina] Thank you.
673
00:31:56,833 --> 00:31:59,583
[Rebecca] So how long have you and Amanda
been seeing each other?
674
00:31:59,666 --> 00:32:01,916
-I've been with her for about a year.
-Whoa!
675
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,166
Yeah, and she's chose
to sit next to her ex-boyfriend
676
00:32:04,250 --> 00:32:06,000
over her actual boyfriend, so...
677
00:32:06,083 --> 00:32:07,250
[Rebecca] It is pretty rude.
678
00:32:07,333 --> 00:32:11,041
Especially when you consider
what sort of, um, relationship they had.
679
00:32:11,125 --> 00:32:13,416
-What do you mean?
-It was all very physical, you know?
680
00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:14,791
I personally don't believe
681
00:32:14,875 --> 00:32:18,166
that any sort of meaningful relationship
is ever built on that much sex,
682
00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:20,208
so it is kind of weird
that they'd sit together.
683
00:32:20,291 --> 00:32:22,000
It's just like more... [blows raspberry]
684
00:32:22,083 --> 00:32:22,958
And less, like...
685
00:32:23,041 --> 00:32:24,666
-Do you know what I mean?
-Yes. Yeah.
686
00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:26,500
Lots of banging, but very little chat.
687
00:32:26,583 --> 00:32:29,666
And, you know, where does that sort
of thing end up, you know?
688
00:32:29,750 --> 00:32:32,125
Sorry, mate, can we get a proper drink?
689
00:32:32,208 --> 00:32:33,541
All about the... [blows raspberry]
690
00:32:33,625 --> 00:32:35,583
And not about the... [claps]
Know what I mean?
691
00:32:35,666 --> 00:32:36,500
[Chaz] Yeah. Yeah.
692
00:32:36,875 --> 00:32:39,500
I see you're wearing
the cuff links I bought you.
693
00:32:40,791 --> 00:32:42,000
Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
694
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,166
Well, they were the only ones I had, so...
695
00:32:46,125 --> 00:32:46,958
Fuck you.
696
00:32:48,250 --> 00:32:50,833
So, um, I hear you're a journalist.
697
00:32:51,833 --> 00:32:53,000
-Yeah.
-In journalism.
698
00:32:53,750 --> 00:32:54,791
Yes, that's right.
699
00:32:54,875 --> 00:32:56,333
Yes, got it in one.
700
00:32:56,541 --> 00:32:57,625
[both chuckle]
701
00:32:57,708 --> 00:32:59,333
So, what is that? Fashion stuff?
702
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,291
No, I'm a war journalist.
703
00:33:01,375 --> 00:33:02,750
I think someone said-- Hang on.
704
00:33:02,833 --> 00:33:03,875
Did you get kidnapped?
705
00:33:04,208 --> 00:33:05,166
Yes. Yeah.
706
00:33:05,875 --> 00:33:06,708
Whoops.
707
00:33:06,791 --> 00:33:08,958
-Yeah, whoops.
-Big whoops. No, not whoops.
708
00:33:09,041 --> 00:33:11,375
But you know what I mean, like, careless.
Well, not careless.
709
00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:13,416
-No, not careless.
-So what happened there?
710
00:33:13,833 --> 00:33:15,750
We were on a report in Afghanistan and--
711
00:33:15,833 --> 00:33:17,750
Oh, there's your first mistake.
712
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,708
Afghanistan, if you please.
713
00:33:22,041 --> 00:33:23,458
And what happened? Don't tell me.
714
00:33:23,583 --> 00:33:25,375
Um, well, the Taliban--
715
00:33:25,458 --> 00:33:27,750
-The Taliban, quelle suprise. Yeah.
-Right.
716
00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:31,125
Yeah, there were Taliban forces
who came into our space--
717
00:33:31,208 --> 00:33:32,166
Uninvited?
718
00:33:33,541 --> 00:33:34,958
-Yeah.
-Of course they were.
719
00:33:35,041 --> 00:33:37,250
-Of course.
-Why are you inviting the Taliban?
720
00:33:38,333 --> 00:33:40,291
Doing a report in Afghanistan,
721
00:33:40,375 --> 00:33:42,916
and the Taliban forces came in
and took us outside,
722
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,000
-lined us up, held guns to our heads--
-What were you wearing?
723
00:33:45,083 --> 00:33:47,041
-What?
-What were you wearing?
724
00:33:47,125 --> 00:33:48,791
Because, obviously, this would be, um...
725
00:33:49,708 --> 00:33:50,541
not for them.
726
00:33:50,625 --> 00:33:53,291
Out there they don't like the, um,
exposed...
727
00:33:55,291 --> 00:33:56,166
breast.
728
00:33:57,208 --> 00:33:58,875
Not that this is exposed. This is...
729
00:33:59,583 --> 00:34:00,958
This is... Yeah.
730
00:34:01,041 --> 00:34:03,000
Absolutely... very well judged.
731
00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:04,250
I'd kidnap you.
732
00:34:04,333 --> 00:34:05,250
-Oh.
-Mm-hmm.
733
00:34:06,625 --> 00:34:09,125
[Rebecca] The proof was in the pudding.
They ended up breaking up.
734
00:34:09,208 --> 00:34:11,708
Well, no, because she keeps talking
about his massive dick, so...
735
00:34:11,791 --> 00:34:15,291
-Really?
-Yeah, well, mine's big anyway, so...
736
00:34:15,375 --> 00:34:17,708
-How big?
-Bigger than his, probably.
737
00:34:17,791 --> 00:34:19,458
What you talking about? A spoon or a fork?
738
00:34:19,541 --> 00:34:21,500
-Both.
-Can you point out on the table what size?
739
00:34:21,625 --> 00:34:23,250
Both. Stuck together.
740
00:34:23,333 --> 00:34:24,916
-Those two stuck together?
-Yes.
741
00:34:26,166 --> 00:34:28,750
["Non più andrai" by Mozart playing]
742
00:34:32,583 --> 00:34:36,083
-Who's the American?
-Oh, that's Hayley's friend, Dina.
743
00:34:36,166 --> 00:34:39,166
God, yeah, the lady you met in Rome
and wouldn't stop going on about.
744
00:34:39,250 --> 00:34:40,291
I don't go on about her.
745
00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:43,458
Oh, come on, you found every excuse
in the world to talk about her.
746
00:34:43,541 --> 00:34:46,416
We'd been there for, uh, many days.
747
00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:50,291
We actually had no idea if it was,
you know, day or night at that point and--
748
00:34:50,375 --> 00:34:51,666
I'm in car insurance.
749
00:34:53,458 --> 00:34:55,375
-What?
-I'm in car insurance.
750
00:34:58,166 --> 00:34:59,375
-Okay.
-It is okay.
751
00:34:59,708 --> 00:35:00,666
Oh, okay.
752
00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:02,916
It's not as boring as it sounds,
thank you.
753
00:35:04,125 --> 00:35:06,875
-I'm sorry. Go ahead.
-That's fine. So, yes, um...
754
00:35:06,958 --> 00:35:10,958
I work with a couple of guys
called Jim and, um, Jeff.
755
00:35:11,166 --> 00:35:13,458
Well, I call him Jeff.
Jim calls him Jeffrey.
756
00:35:13,916 --> 00:35:16,041
Jim started in 2001.
757
00:35:16,583 --> 00:35:18,041
And then Jeff started...
758
00:35:18,125 --> 00:35:19,375
-Lovely.
-Thanks.
759
00:35:19,458 --> 00:35:20,291
Grazie.
760
00:35:20,750 --> 00:35:21,916
-Grazie.
-That's it.
761
00:35:22,291 --> 00:35:25,416
And then Jeff started
a couple of years after that...
762
00:35:25,500 --> 00:35:27,083
[Bryan] I thought she had a boyfriend.
763
00:35:27,166 --> 00:35:28,541
Well, not anymore.
764
00:35:28,916 --> 00:35:31,000
Turns out he cheated on her
really horrifically.
765
00:35:31,083 --> 00:35:32,500
Oh, that's great, man.
766
00:35:32,583 --> 00:35:34,833
That's great. You should really
take your chance this time.
767
00:35:34,916 --> 00:35:36,416
Well, now I intend to.
768
00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:40,375
[Sidney] So, yes, Jim and Jeff
are hilarious.
769
00:35:40,458 --> 00:35:42,541
God, you're slinging 'em back,
aren't you?
770
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,458
-You know, if the situation calls for it.
-Oh, sure.
771
00:35:45,541 --> 00:35:46,375
Which it does.
772
00:35:46,458 --> 00:35:48,375
Were you allowed to drink
when you were kidnapped?
773
00:35:48,458 --> 00:35:51,083
["The Blue Danube Waltz" playing]
774
00:36:09,333 --> 00:36:11,041
[Sidney] Another time.
I must tell you this.
775
00:36:11,125 --> 00:36:13,416
I've parked my bike
and outside it's spring,
776
00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:15,375
and locked her up, and I go in,
777
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:16,958
open the door,
778
00:36:17,041 --> 00:36:18,041
and, um, syrup.
779
00:36:18,791 --> 00:36:19,791
-What?
-Syrup.
780
00:36:19,875 --> 00:36:21,833
-Syrup?
-Syrup all on the door handle.
781
00:36:21,916 --> 00:36:24,541
To the extent that there's syrup
actually on the floor underneath it.
782
00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:26,333
-On the carpet.
-Another Jeff bit?
783
00:36:26,416 --> 00:36:27,750
Jim. What, Jeff?
784
00:36:28,333 --> 00:36:29,833
I said, "Jeff bit," like Jeff--
785
00:36:29,916 --> 00:36:31,916
No, this is not Jeff. This is before Jeff.
786
00:36:32,458 --> 00:36:33,458
Oh, I'm sorry, I--
787
00:36:33,833 --> 00:36:35,041
Yeah, you're right, it's...
788
00:36:36,625 --> 00:36:38,750
This is Jim. Am I talking to myself?
789
00:36:38,833 --> 00:36:39,666
[laughs] No.
790
00:36:39,958 --> 00:36:41,916
Jeff didn't start until 2008.
791
00:36:42,666 --> 00:36:43,625
No, hang on a minute.
792
00:36:43,708 --> 00:36:44,916
I'd got rid of the bike,
793
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:47,666
so he would've started in the spring...
794
00:36:47,750 --> 00:36:48,583
of...
795
00:36:48,791 --> 00:36:51,166
two thousand and...
796
00:36:51,708 --> 00:36:52,708
wait for it...
797
00:36:53,458 --> 00:36:55,708
-You know what? Don't worry about it.
-May as well get it.
798
00:36:55,791 --> 00:36:56,625
[whispers] Bryan.
799
00:36:57,750 --> 00:36:59,458
Bryan, can you do me a favor, mate?
800
00:36:59,958 --> 00:37:02,791
Could you keep an eye on Marc?
If he moves, just come and grab me.
801
00:37:04,166 --> 00:37:05,958
I'm gonna make my move. [clicks tongue]
802
00:37:06,041 --> 00:37:06,875
Wish me luck.
803
00:37:07,291 --> 00:37:09,666
[Sidney] It was 2006, back on in--
804
00:37:09,750 --> 00:37:11,583
Yes, 2008. Yes, here he his.
805
00:37:11,666 --> 00:37:13,208
-Sorry to interrupt.
-Hello.
806
00:37:13,291 --> 00:37:16,750
Good, man. Um, just wondering if you
want to grab a drink at the bar.
807
00:37:16,833 --> 00:37:19,500
-I would love to. Excuse us.
-That sounds fantastic!
808
00:37:23,958 --> 00:37:24,791
Okay.
809
00:37:25,041 --> 00:37:27,625
-[Sidney] You coming, Jack?
-Yeah. Of course.
810
00:37:41,750 --> 00:37:43,625
[guests applauding]
811
00:37:44,541 --> 00:37:45,875
Oh, Vitelli.
812
00:37:46,333 --> 00:37:48,375
-What? Where are you going?
-Vitelli.
813
00:37:48,625 --> 00:37:50,958
-Oh, do you want me to come with you?
-God, no.
814
00:37:51,875 --> 00:37:52,708
Cool.
815
00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:56,666
[in Italian] Oh... I told you...
816
00:37:56,750 --> 00:37:57,583
[laughs]
817
00:37:58,708 --> 00:38:00,500
Mr... Mr. Vitelli.
818
00:38:01,416 --> 00:38:02,833
-Yeah?
-My name is Bryan.
819
00:38:02,958 --> 00:38:04,500
[Vitelli] Oh, nice to meet you.
820
00:38:05,291 --> 00:38:06,125
Bryan?
821
00:38:09,541 --> 00:38:11,458
Mm. Sorry. Um...
822
00:38:11,541 --> 00:38:13,250
Would you mind if I sit down?
823
00:38:14,875 --> 00:38:16,166
I just want to sit down.
824
00:38:17,875 --> 00:38:19,166
It's okay, Bryan. Can I help you?
825
00:38:19,250 --> 00:38:20,541
-Oh, yes.
-Yeah?
826
00:38:20,625 --> 00:38:24,916
Mr. Vitelli, I just wanted to say
that I am such a huge fan.
827
00:38:25,458 --> 00:38:27,958
-Thank you. Thank you very much.
-No, really, I am.
828
00:38:28,208 --> 00:38:33,833
And I would just be fascinated
to understand where you get the...
829
00:38:35,125 --> 00:38:36,500
[slurring] ...idea for your films.
830
00:38:36,833 --> 00:38:38,250
-The ideas?
-The ideas.
831
00:38:38,333 --> 00:38:39,458
Oh, well... [chuckles]
832
00:38:39,541 --> 00:38:40,458
Uh...
833
00:38:40,916 --> 00:38:43,416
Well, you know,
the thing about ideas is that...
834
00:38:43,750 --> 00:38:44,750
Hmm.
835
00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:46,500
...they're not created.
836
00:38:46,583 --> 00:38:48,500
They come to you just like...
837
00:38:49,083 --> 00:38:51,041
um, happy accidents.
838
00:38:51,583 --> 00:38:54,208
You know what I mean?
Inside you. Just really...
839
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:57,625
from somewhere inside you.
Some secret, dark...
840
00:38:58,333 --> 00:39:00,708
-Dark place.
-...blind place inside of you.
841
00:39:00,791 --> 00:39:01,916
That's brilliant.
842
00:39:02,833 --> 00:39:04,000
[murmuring]
843
00:39:07,833 --> 00:39:08,708
Hey, man?
844
00:39:16,166 --> 00:39:17,041
Mm.
845
00:39:17,916 --> 00:39:18,750
Vitelli.
846
00:39:19,916 --> 00:39:20,750
[sighs]
847
00:39:20,833 --> 00:39:23,166
-Okay, thank you for coming.
-Thank you.
848
00:39:23,250 --> 00:39:24,083
Thank you.
849
00:39:27,208 --> 00:39:29,125
-It's been nice to talk with you.
-Thank you.
850
00:39:29,208 --> 00:39:30,125
Yeah.
851
00:39:30,416 --> 00:39:31,250
Thank you.
852
00:39:34,458 --> 00:39:35,375
[chuckles]
853
00:39:35,458 --> 00:39:36,291
How'd it go?
854
00:39:36,750 --> 00:39:37,583
Hm?
855
00:39:37,666 --> 00:39:40,166
-Vitelli? How did it go?
-Yeah, all right.
856
00:39:40,250 --> 00:39:41,666
Oh, my God, I knew it.
857
00:39:41,750 --> 00:39:43,333
What a story. What a night.
858
00:39:43,416 --> 00:39:45,833
That is nuts.
I can see that you're buzzin'.
859
00:39:56,041 --> 00:39:58,458
Jeff's stood there, laughing.
He's still got the glove on.
860
00:39:58,541 --> 00:40:00,208
-Laughing behind the glove.
-Oh.
861
00:40:00,291 --> 00:40:02,375
Still, also with the purple track suit.
862
00:40:02,458 --> 00:40:05,708
And I'm like, "Yeah, that worked.
That worked. As planned."
863
00:40:05,791 --> 00:40:07,166
-Sidney, sorry.
-Mm.
864
00:40:07,833 --> 00:40:09,958
I'd hate to sound rude, but, um...
865
00:40:11,083 --> 00:40:12,541
I was just kind of hoping
866
00:40:12,625 --> 00:40:15,458
to have kind of a private chat.
867
00:40:15,541 --> 00:40:17,291
As in...
868
00:40:17,375 --> 00:40:18,583
just the two of us.
869
00:40:19,041 --> 00:40:19,958
Man to man.
870
00:40:21,791 --> 00:40:23,166
Would you mind just, um...?
871
00:40:26,708 --> 00:40:28,000
Okay, Sidney?
872
00:40:28,083 --> 00:40:30,916
-Yes, Jack?
-What I meant, uh...
873
00:40:31,666 --> 00:40:32,958
I meant Dina and me.
874
00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:36,041
[stammers]
875
00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:37,250
So, where do I go?
876
00:40:37,333 --> 00:40:38,666
I mean, I don't know, man.
877
00:40:39,041 --> 00:40:40,166
Uh, over there?
878
00:40:40,583 --> 00:40:42,000
-Over there?
-Yeah.
879
00:40:46,416 --> 00:40:47,291
I'll pop off.
880
00:40:47,958 --> 00:40:50,291
Yeah, you're cool.
I'll see you in a minute.
881
00:40:50,375 --> 00:40:51,583
-You're cool, too.
-Okay.
882
00:40:53,125 --> 00:40:54,291
-Oh!
-I feel awful.
883
00:40:54,666 --> 00:40:56,250
That felt horrible.
884
00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,125
Look at you, you're such a baller.
885
00:41:06,208 --> 00:41:09,291
You're so chilled out about it. I love it.
I think you're amazing.
886
00:41:09,375 --> 00:41:11,333
I actually do think you're amazing.
887
00:41:11,416 --> 00:41:12,416
But whatever, you know?
888
00:41:12,500 --> 00:41:14,041
[Marc imitates a revving engine]
889
00:41:14,125 --> 00:41:15,333
[panting, sniffing]
890
00:41:15,958 --> 00:41:17,375
[Marc] She loves you. She loves you!
891
00:41:17,458 --> 00:41:18,291
[babbling]
892
00:41:19,166 --> 00:41:20,125
[whispers] She's yours.
893
00:41:21,083 --> 00:41:21,916
You got this.
894
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,208
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She definitely loves you.
895
00:41:27,833 --> 00:41:31,333
Quickly, before Sidney gets back.
Just tell me what you've been up to.
896
00:41:31,416 --> 00:41:32,458
Quickly? Just tell you--
897
00:41:32,541 --> 00:41:35,083
Tell me everything you've done
in three years in ten seconds.
898
00:41:35,166 --> 00:41:36,291
-Just...
-Sid can do that.
899
00:41:36,375 --> 00:41:39,791
Since the last time I saw you,
I've had a failed relationship.
900
00:41:39,875 --> 00:41:41,750
Amanda, who's sat right next to me.
901
00:41:41,833 --> 00:41:43,125
Um... [stammers]
902
00:41:43,208 --> 00:41:45,166
Then I went to Asia, traveled around,
903
00:41:45,250 --> 00:41:47,791
got a horrible disease, um, came back,
904
00:41:47,875 --> 00:41:50,750
and then I just recently qualified
as a structural engineer...
905
00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:52,666
at last. [chuckles]
906
00:41:52,750 --> 00:41:54,000
Hey! That was eight seconds!
907
00:41:54,083 --> 00:41:55,750
-You were actually counting?
-Mm-hmm.
908
00:41:55,833 --> 00:41:59,583
I mean, you have two seconds left,
but you don't have anything to fill.
909
00:41:59,666 --> 00:42:02,291
No, I really don't.
It's a sad, sad, sad admission.
910
00:42:02,375 --> 00:42:04,583
I mean, that's a lot of just... blah.
911
00:42:04,666 --> 00:42:07,083
[speaking in Italian]
912
00:42:09,875 --> 00:42:11,750
-Hey.
-Sorry, just one second.
913
00:42:13,333 --> 00:42:14,541
You're-- You're awake.
914
00:42:14,625 --> 00:42:16,041
I'm awake. Of course I'm awake.
915
00:42:16,125 --> 00:42:18,458
Why wouldn't I be awake?
Anyway, we need to talk.
916
00:42:20,083 --> 00:42:21,458
Right. Um, yes.
917
00:42:21,541 --> 00:42:24,291
Just as long as you're not going to say
that we're meant to be together.
918
00:42:24,583 --> 00:42:25,708
Oh, uh...
919
00:42:26,750 --> 00:42:27,833
We are meant to be together.
920
00:42:28,333 --> 00:42:30,041
What planet are you on, Marc?
921
00:42:30,750 --> 00:42:32,583
Do you want me to just tattoo it
on my forehead?
922
00:42:32,666 --> 00:42:34,291
I love Roberto.
923
00:42:34,583 --> 00:42:36,041
Uh, no.
924
00:42:37,666 --> 00:42:38,666
What do you mean, "no"?
925
00:42:38,750 --> 00:42:40,916
The connection between us is undeniable.
926
00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:43,583
You're just scared of telling Roberto,
but it's okay, it's okay.
927
00:42:43,666 --> 00:42:46,583
He does need to know,
so you tell him, or I'll do it for you.
928
00:42:46,666 --> 00:42:48,791
[host] Signore e signori,
ladies and gentlemen...
929
00:42:49,166 --> 00:42:52,541
[host speaking Italian]
930
00:42:52,625 --> 00:42:54,708
[host, in English] We'll now have
our first dance
931
00:42:54,791 --> 00:42:56,083
with Hayley and Roberto.
932
00:42:56,166 --> 00:42:57,250
[guests applauding]
933
00:42:58,666 --> 00:42:59,791
Please stay here.
934
00:43:00,416 --> 00:43:02,416
[cheers and applause]
935
00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:05,500
[Op. 75 from Romantic Pieces
by Dvořák playing]
936
00:43:32,958 --> 00:43:34,625
So, come on. Your turn.
937
00:43:35,041 --> 00:43:37,333
I was a foreign correspondent,
as you might remember.
938
00:43:37,416 --> 00:43:40,500
I went off to some very horrific places.
939
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,291
I saw a lot of people get shot.
I was kidnapped.
940
00:43:43,375 --> 00:43:44,291
Came back home.
941
00:43:44,375 --> 00:43:46,416
My mom got sick and died.
942
00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:48,208
And I found out that my boyfriend
943
00:43:48,291 --> 00:43:51,916
loves having sex with anything
with an available orifice, so...
944
00:43:54,416 --> 00:43:55,250
That's...
945
00:43:55,625 --> 00:43:56,833
-Wow.
-That's it.
946
00:43:57,833 --> 00:43:59,708
-Um...
-Yeah. [chuckles]
947
00:44:00,166 --> 00:44:01,125
I'm sorry.
948
00:44:01,458 --> 00:44:03,750
Oh, yeah, it's okay. It's just--
You know, it's life.
949
00:44:03,833 --> 00:44:06,125
No, I mean I'm sorry
that it was 12 seconds.
950
00:44:06,208 --> 00:44:07,208
[laughs]
951
00:44:07,291 --> 00:44:08,208
So, that's...
952
00:44:08,625 --> 00:44:10,458
Oh, it means you lose.
953
00:44:11,083 --> 00:44:11,958
Wow.
954
00:44:12,041 --> 00:44:12,916
Well, let's...
955
00:44:13,625 --> 00:44:14,583
Hey, let's just hope...
956
00:44:15,375 --> 00:44:17,541
it's only good luck from now, right?
957
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,416
Yeah, fingers crossed.
958
00:44:23,833 --> 00:44:25,833
[guests applauding]
959
00:44:31,625 --> 00:44:33,125
-Your dress!
-Sorry!
960
00:44:33,208 --> 00:44:35,791
-Where are we going?
-Just here is fine. Just here.
961
00:44:37,041 --> 00:44:38,541
-You okay?
-No, not really.
962
00:44:38,625 --> 00:44:40,875
-Marc is still totally fucking wide awake!
-What? How?
963
00:44:40,958 --> 00:44:42,666
Jesus, Jack. It was a simple plan.
964
00:44:42,750 --> 00:44:44,291
How did you mess this up?
965
00:44:44,375 --> 00:44:45,375
[stammers] Hey!
966
00:44:45,458 --> 00:44:47,791
You do know this is my first time
spiking someone's drink.
967
00:44:47,875 --> 00:44:48,750
Shush!
968
00:44:48,833 --> 00:44:51,500
-I already feel awful about it, and now--
-Yeah, I know.
969
00:44:51,583 --> 00:44:55,125
Look, please, will you just make sure
he doesn't go anywhere near Roberto?
970
00:44:55,208 --> 00:44:56,458
I have to go and do something.
971
00:44:56,541 --> 00:44:58,916
-What do you have to go do?
-Just more fucking photos!
972
00:44:59,500 --> 00:45:00,791
How's it going with Dina?
973
00:45:01,250 --> 00:45:03,041
Yeah, no, it's good, it's good, it's good.
974
00:45:03,125 --> 00:45:04,333
-It's good.
-That's great.
975
00:45:04,416 --> 00:45:06,291
You know what, though?
It's like Mum used to say.
976
00:45:06,375 --> 00:45:08,416
You expect the worst,
but hope for the best,
977
00:45:08,500 --> 00:45:10,208
and I feel like this is our moment.
978
00:45:10,291 --> 00:45:12,458
-This is-- This is--
-Yeah, that's great. Great.
979
00:45:18,166 --> 00:45:19,291
[sighs]
980
00:45:21,291 --> 00:45:22,208
Hello, nads.
981
00:45:23,041 --> 00:45:23,875
Hello.
982
00:45:24,083 --> 00:45:25,125
-Hi.
-Hi.
983
00:45:25,208 --> 00:45:27,875
-I'm Cristina.
-Would you mind holding that, Cristina?
984
00:45:28,833 --> 00:45:30,125
I need to do a bit of, um...
985
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:32,833
a bit of admin.
986
00:45:34,375 --> 00:45:36,000
Kilt... Hang on.
987
00:45:36,125 --> 00:45:37,083
[Cristina clears throat]
988
00:45:37,166 --> 00:45:38,000
Sorry.
989
00:45:39,041 --> 00:45:40,125
Under the, uh...
990
00:45:41,208 --> 00:45:42,916
How do they bloody do this?
991
00:45:44,083 --> 00:45:46,541
That's wrapped 'round like nunchucks.
992
00:45:47,625 --> 00:45:48,541
Ah.
993
00:45:48,958 --> 00:45:49,833
Just unwrapping.
994
00:45:54,250 --> 00:45:55,416
Hm. Hey presto.
995
00:45:56,208 --> 00:45:58,083
Thank you. I'm Sidney.
996
00:45:58,166 --> 00:45:59,000
Okay.
997
00:45:59,625 --> 00:46:00,500
Okay.
998
00:46:01,208 --> 00:46:02,083
That's okay.
999
00:46:02,833 --> 00:46:03,750
[Sidney] Off she goes.
1000
00:46:05,083 --> 00:46:06,000
[sighs]
1001
00:46:11,666 --> 00:46:12,541
[Chaz] Mm!
1002
00:46:12,958 --> 00:46:14,458
Hey, man. Uh...
1003
00:46:14,583 --> 00:46:15,416
All right?
1004
00:46:15,500 --> 00:46:17,208
I was gonna say, well done back there.
1005
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:18,833
Excuse me?
1006
00:46:18,916 --> 00:46:20,291
No, it's the way you orchestrated
1007
00:46:20,375 --> 00:46:22,791
that you'd be sitting next to Amanda
at the wedding. [chuckles]
1008
00:46:23,750 --> 00:46:27,125
What, you think I wanted to sit next to
my ex-girlfriend at my sister's wedding?
1009
00:46:27,208 --> 00:46:28,708
But I'm not a masochist.
1010
00:46:28,791 --> 00:46:31,291
-Bit of a coincidence, though, isn't it?
-Is it, though?
1011
00:46:31,375 --> 00:46:32,833
Yeah, it is. You know, yeah.
1012
00:46:32,916 --> 00:46:35,666
Look, uh, mate, um...
1013
00:46:35,750 --> 00:46:38,875
Amanda and I are totally, totally done.
1014
00:46:38,958 --> 00:46:40,416
I mean, we went out for two years,
1015
00:46:40,500 --> 00:46:42,708
but by the end of which,
we pretty much hated each other.
1016
00:46:42,791 --> 00:46:44,208
So you're saying you hate her now, eh?
1017
00:46:44,750 --> 00:46:47,083
-"Hate" is a strong word.
-You just said it.
1018
00:46:47,166 --> 00:46:49,083
But definitely dislike.
1019
00:46:49,666 --> 00:46:50,583
You be careful, mate.
1020
00:46:50,666 --> 00:46:53,000
'Cause that's my future fiancée
you're talking about.
1021
00:46:53,125 --> 00:46:55,083
-Really?
-What do you mean, "really?"
1022
00:46:56,041 --> 00:46:58,708
Oh, what? Because I haven't got that?
Yeah?
1023
00:46:59,083 --> 00:47:02,375
I couldn't fill those boots? Huh? What?
What went through your mind just then?
1024
00:47:02,458 --> 00:47:04,000
"Oh, this guy in front of me
1025
00:47:04,083 --> 00:47:06,541
has got a really tiny, weird penis
that everyone's laughing at."
1026
00:47:06,625 --> 00:47:08,041
No, they're not. They're laughing at you.
1027
00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:10,625
'Cause you're the weirdo
who's walking around with your big penis.
1028
00:47:10,708 --> 00:47:13,625
"Oh, look at me!
I'm at a wedding with a big dick!
1029
00:47:13,708 --> 00:47:15,875
Everyone respect me
because of my big penis!
1030
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:18,333
Ooh! Oh, it's really girthy!
It's really girthy!
1031
00:47:18,416 --> 00:47:20,125
Please like it! Please like it!"
1032
00:47:23,041 --> 00:47:25,416
-I'm sorry, you completely lost me.
-Exactly.
1033
00:47:25,750 --> 00:47:27,125
Stay away from her.
1034
00:47:28,333 --> 00:47:29,500
-Okay.
-Good.
1035
00:47:29,583 --> 00:47:30,666
-I will.
-Okay.
1036
00:47:31,416 --> 00:47:32,500
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1037
00:47:32,583 --> 00:47:34,500
-Good chat.
-Yeah, great chat.
1038
00:47:34,583 --> 00:47:36,333
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
1039
00:47:37,041 --> 00:47:38,416
-All right.
-Yeah.
1040
00:47:40,916 --> 00:47:42,041
Hey.
1041
00:47:43,125 --> 00:47:45,458
-Hey, you.
-Is everything okay?
1042
00:47:45,541 --> 00:47:46,500
[chuckles]
1043
00:47:46,833 --> 00:47:48,083
Uh, yeah, yeah.
1044
00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:51,833
-[Dina] Do you want a drink?
-[Jack] Yeah, no, I really do.
1045
00:47:51,916 --> 00:47:54,333
I think I might change out the wine
and go for a gin and...
1046
00:47:54,583 --> 00:47:55,458
[Jack] Fuck.
1047
00:47:56,041 --> 00:47:56,916
One sec.
1048
00:48:00,041 --> 00:48:02,083
He wants a Gin and Fuck, please. Thanks.
1049
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:06,125
I'm kidding. [chuckles]
1050
00:48:13,166 --> 00:48:14,458
[Marc] What are you doing?
1051
00:48:14,541 --> 00:48:15,583
-[Jack] Just here.
-Ow!
1052
00:48:15,666 --> 00:48:16,833
I'm so sorry.
1053
00:48:16,916 --> 00:48:18,125
Sorry. Sorry.
1054
00:48:18,375 --> 00:48:20,958
Um... Why... No, okay.
1055
00:48:21,041 --> 00:48:23,375
Just hold on one sec.
1056
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,041
Sorry.
1057
00:48:25,125 --> 00:48:27,083
I know you have this thing
for Hayley, right,
1058
00:48:27,166 --> 00:48:29,958
but she doesn't feel the same,
so you need to accept that.
1059
00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,666
Oh, oh, oh. Is that right?
1060
00:48:31,750 --> 00:48:33,208
Then, um... hmm...
1061
00:48:33,291 --> 00:48:36,125
how come we shagged three weeks ago?
1062
00:48:41,500 --> 00:48:42,875
-What?
-That's right.
1063
00:48:43,625 --> 00:48:45,916
Shagged.
1064
00:48:46,291 --> 00:48:47,541
Just... [laughs]
1065
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,708
Okay, I really-- I really don't know
what's happening here,
1066
00:48:50,791 --> 00:48:52,166
but I do know that she's happy.
1067
00:48:52,375 --> 00:48:53,250
[Jack sighs]
1068
00:48:53,333 --> 00:48:55,416
Please, please don't ruin that.
1069
00:48:55,500 --> 00:48:56,625
Okay, okay.
1070
00:48:56,708 --> 00:48:58,875
But I'm gonna make her happy! Idiot!
1071
00:48:58,958 --> 00:49:01,041
[Jack grunts] No, okay...
1072
00:49:01,666 --> 00:49:02,791
Okay, okay...
1073
00:49:03,291 --> 00:49:04,458
Oh, God, this is happening!
1074
00:49:04,541 --> 00:49:07,041
-[Jack] I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
-[muffled yelling]
1075
00:49:08,291 --> 00:49:11,000
-Ah, now, Jack...
-Sidney!
1076
00:49:11,083 --> 00:49:13,625
I'm gonna nip back to the hotel,
put some trousers on.
1077
00:49:13,708 --> 00:49:15,291
-The kilt's too much.
-Brilliant! Great!
1078
00:49:15,375 --> 00:49:17,875
Could you just give me
a hand for just one second? Sidney!
1079
00:49:17,958 --> 00:49:19,708
-Sidney!
-Yes. Yes, Jack.
1080
00:49:19,791 --> 00:49:21,333
-Sidney!
-Yes, I'm coming.
1081
00:49:22,041 --> 00:49:24,041
-I need to find a room.
-Yeah, what's going on?
1082
00:49:24,125 --> 00:49:25,458
I'll explain it later.
1083
00:49:26,208 --> 00:49:28,583
-I'm Federico Vitelli.
-Dina.
1084
00:49:28,666 --> 00:49:30,500
-Dina, nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
1085
00:49:31,125 --> 00:49:32,000
I love your work.
1086
00:49:32,375 --> 00:49:33,291
[Sidney] Ah!
1087
00:49:33,375 --> 00:49:35,416
We're in! Okay.
1088
00:49:36,083 --> 00:49:37,000
-Sidney?
-Yes?
1089
00:49:37,083 --> 00:49:37,916
-That cupboard!
-Yes.
1090
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:39,708
-The other door, Sidney!
-Both doors?
1091
00:49:39,791 --> 00:49:41,291
There we go. Okay.
1092
00:49:42,208 --> 00:49:43,166
Wowzers!
1093
00:49:43,250 --> 00:49:45,333
-Please don't put me in the cupboard!
-Bye-bye!
1094
00:49:45,416 --> 00:49:47,125
-[straining]
-I think Jim has that painting.
1095
00:49:47,208 --> 00:49:49,250
-Yeah!
-Lovely stuff.
1096
00:49:49,875 --> 00:49:52,333
[Marc] Please! Help!
1097
00:49:52,416 --> 00:49:54,416
[Marc yells and pounds on cupboard door]
1098
00:49:57,541 --> 00:49:58,416
[in Italian] Hello.
1099
00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,625
[in English] Can I borrow you for a sec?
1100
00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:02,041
Uh, yeah, sure.
1101
00:50:02,208 --> 00:50:03,708
Um, sorry.
1102
00:50:04,250 --> 00:50:05,166
[in Italian] Sorry.
1103
00:50:06,166 --> 00:50:07,083
Jack?
1104
00:50:09,125 --> 00:50:10,083
All right.
1105
00:50:10,375 --> 00:50:11,875
I want an answer, and I want it now.
1106
00:50:12,125 --> 00:50:13,541
About what, Chaz?
1107
00:50:13,625 --> 00:50:15,083
Just the whole marriage thing.
1108
00:50:15,166 --> 00:50:17,666
Look, is it because of your ex-boyfriend?
Is that the issue?
1109
00:50:17,750 --> 00:50:19,500
Oh, God! Don't be ridiculous!
1110
00:50:20,166 --> 00:50:21,583
All right, good, 'cause, um...
1111
00:50:21,958 --> 00:50:23,208
he said he hated you, so...
1112
00:50:24,583 --> 00:50:25,500
[Chaz] Mmm.
1113
00:50:27,458 --> 00:50:28,375
That's good stuff.
1114
00:50:31,333 --> 00:50:32,166
He what?
1115
00:50:36,333 --> 00:50:37,416
[muffled yelling]
1116
00:50:37,500 --> 00:50:38,375
[Marc] Help me!
1117
00:50:38,458 --> 00:50:39,833
I'm in the cupboard!
1118
00:50:40,125 --> 00:50:41,125
Hello!
1119
00:50:41,208 --> 00:50:42,291
[pounding on cupboard door]
1120
00:50:45,458 --> 00:50:46,833
[coughing]
1121
00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:52,916
What?
1122
00:50:53,583 --> 00:50:56,041
So, I just heard something
a little bit weird.
1123
00:50:56,375 --> 00:50:59,583
Apparently, you shagged
Marc Fisher three weeks ago.
1124
00:51:01,208 --> 00:51:02,125
Did he say that?
1125
00:51:02,791 --> 00:51:05,250
You know, that really is unbelievable.
I mean, the nerve!
1126
00:51:05,333 --> 00:51:08,083
My God! You are the worst liar
in the entire world!
1127
00:51:08,166 --> 00:51:09,375
What were you thinking?
1128
00:51:09,458 --> 00:51:12,208
I know, I really fucked up.
It was an accident.
1129
00:51:12,916 --> 00:51:14,333
-[woman] Hello!
-Hello.
1130
00:51:15,166 --> 00:51:16,291
[Hayley and Jack chuckle]
1131
00:51:17,708 --> 00:51:19,958
How the hell do you have sex
with someone by accident?
1132
00:51:20,041 --> 00:51:20,916
How does that happen?
1133
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,541
Shh. Please. Let me explain.
1134
00:51:22,625 --> 00:51:24,583
You know when I came to London
a couple weeks ago,
1135
00:51:24,666 --> 00:51:26,291
and I was really fucking stressed
about the wedding?
1136
00:51:26,375 --> 00:51:28,375
I went to the pub,
and I had a couple of drinks,
1137
00:51:28,458 --> 00:51:30,125
and who walks in but Marc Fisher.
1138
00:51:30,208 --> 00:51:32,041
We start chatting,
we had a couple of shots,
1139
00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:34,458
and before we know it,
one thing leads to another, all right?
1140
00:51:34,541 --> 00:51:36,291
But it didn't mean anything, Jack.
1141
00:51:36,750 --> 00:51:40,458
Of course, it turns out that he's been
obsessed with me since we were 15.
1142
00:51:40,541 --> 00:51:43,125
Fifteen, Jack, and nothing ever happened.
1143
00:51:43,208 --> 00:51:45,958
Yeah, we snogged a couple of times.
Maybe he felt my tits. I don't know.
1144
00:51:46,041 --> 00:51:48,791
-Maybe I rubbed him up against his jeans.
-I don't need the details.
1145
00:51:48,875 --> 00:51:49,708
Sorry.
1146
00:51:50,625 --> 00:51:52,708
Jesus, Hayley.
I thought you loved Roberto.
1147
00:51:52,791 --> 00:51:54,791
Oh, my God. I do.
1148
00:51:55,208 --> 00:51:57,000
I do. More than anything.
1149
00:51:57,958 --> 00:51:59,500
He can never find out.
1150
00:52:00,041 --> 00:52:01,208
It would kill him.
1151
00:52:01,875 --> 00:52:03,208
[host] Ladies and gentlemen,
1152
00:52:03,291 --> 00:52:07,375
now we'll have the speech
of the maid of honor, Bryan.
1153
00:52:07,791 --> 00:52:09,375
[guests applauding]
1154
00:52:10,333 --> 00:52:11,375
Where is Bryan?
1155
00:52:17,625 --> 00:52:18,458
Bryan.
1156
00:52:19,833 --> 00:52:22,375
Oh! Hey, hey. How you doing, man?
1157
00:52:22,791 --> 00:52:23,666
Okay.
1158
00:52:23,875 --> 00:52:24,833
Um...
1159
00:52:25,333 --> 00:52:27,916
-They're calling to do your speech.
-Speech?
1160
00:52:28,541 --> 00:52:30,791
The speech you have to do
for the wedding, remember?
1161
00:52:30,875 --> 00:52:32,000
-What wedding?
-This one.
1162
00:52:32,083 --> 00:52:34,375
The one we're at. Hayley's wedding.
You're maid of honor.
1163
00:52:34,458 --> 00:52:36,375
-Man of honor, yeah.
-Yeah, right, right, right.
1164
00:52:36,458 --> 00:52:39,750
-You wanted to impress Vitelli, remember?
-Oh, yeah, Vitelli.
1165
00:52:40,958 --> 00:52:41,916
[chuckles nervously]
1166
00:52:42,708 --> 00:52:43,958
[in Italian] Where is he?
1167
00:52:45,708 --> 00:52:46,750
Oh!
1168
00:52:53,625 --> 00:52:54,833
[Jack] Whoa, whoa, hey.
1169
00:52:57,208 --> 00:52:58,208
[applause stops]
1170
00:53:03,666 --> 00:53:04,666
[inhales]
1171
00:53:04,750 --> 00:53:05,625
[murmurs]
1172
00:53:14,375 --> 00:53:15,208
Mm.
1173
00:53:19,041 --> 00:53:21,458
[slurring] Why are all these people
looking at me?
1174
00:53:26,625 --> 00:53:27,458
Oh.
1175
00:53:28,125 --> 00:53:30,083
This dream just gets weirder and weirder.
1176
00:53:33,500 --> 00:53:34,750
[murmurs]
1177
00:53:35,875 --> 00:53:37,250
Even Vitelli.
1178
00:53:38,625 --> 00:53:40,083
The Italian film director.
1179
00:53:41,458 --> 00:53:43,125
Yeah, he's good-looking, isn't he?
1180
00:53:44,625 --> 00:53:45,750
I fancy him a bit, but...
1181
00:53:45,833 --> 00:53:47,166
[groaning gently]
1182
00:53:47,250 --> 00:53:48,625
I'm not even gay, but...
1183
00:53:48,708 --> 00:53:49,958
[groaning gently]
1184
00:53:50,041 --> 00:53:51,083
I'd do it anyway.
1185
00:53:51,666 --> 00:53:52,541
[Bryan] Mm.
1186
00:53:53,416 --> 00:53:55,750
I wish he'd give me a part
in one of his films, though.
1187
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:58,000
Just a part.
1188
00:53:58,416 --> 00:53:59,541
Just a little part.
1189
00:54:01,291 --> 00:54:02,208
I'd do it good.
1190
00:54:02,791 --> 00:54:03,875
I'd do it good for you.
1191
00:54:07,416 --> 00:54:09,458
[Bryan] Just give me a part, you bastard!
1192
00:54:09,541 --> 00:54:11,666
[indistinct whispering from guests]
1193
00:54:11,750 --> 00:54:13,958
-[blows into mic]
-[feedback whines gently]
1194
00:54:14,458 --> 00:54:17,666
[Bryan hums]
1195
00:54:19,166 --> 00:54:20,000
[Bryan] That's cake.
1196
00:54:23,125 --> 00:54:24,000
[Bryan] Dream cake.
1197
00:54:26,958 --> 00:54:28,083
[Roberto] Bryan, Bryan...
1198
00:54:28,916 --> 00:54:30,583
[audience gasps and yells]
1199
00:54:37,833 --> 00:54:39,375
-I'll just...
-No!
1200
00:54:39,458 --> 00:54:41,458
I'm just gonna take you
to the toilet, okay?
1201
00:54:41,541 --> 00:54:43,916
[host] An applause for the maid of honor.
1202
00:54:44,291 --> 00:54:45,708
[scattered applause]
1203
00:54:45,791 --> 00:54:47,583
[host speaking Italian]
1204
00:54:48,375 --> 00:54:49,208
Yeah. Hm.
1205
00:54:51,833 --> 00:54:53,416
[muffled yelling]
1206
00:54:53,833 --> 00:54:54,916
[Marc] Help!
1207
00:54:55,541 --> 00:54:56,958
Help!
1208
00:54:57,041 --> 00:54:58,083
[pounding on cupboard door]
1209
00:54:58,166 --> 00:54:59,500
Help!
1210
00:55:00,083 --> 00:55:01,041
[Marc continues yelling]
1211
00:55:01,125 --> 00:55:02,916
Help! Help! Help!
1212
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,291
Help! Help! Help!
1213
00:55:05,666 --> 00:55:06,625
Anybody!
1214
00:55:07,833 --> 00:55:09,083
-[Marc yells]
-[woman gasps]
1215
00:55:09,208 --> 00:55:10,708
[panting] Oh.
1216
00:55:14,208 --> 00:55:15,041
Thanks.
1217
00:55:15,916 --> 00:55:17,083
[host] That beautiful cake.
1218
00:55:17,166 --> 00:55:18,041
[clears throat]
1219
00:55:19,041 --> 00:55:20,000
[chuckles nervously]
1220
00:55:20,291 --> 00:55:21,875
-[cell phone buzzing]
-What? What's wrong?
1221
00:55:22,541 --> 00:55:25,375
Oh, my God. I've got a crisis at work.
I have to leave.
1222
00:55:25,916 --> 00:55:28,875
-We can take my car if you want.
-Oh, my God, that would be amazing.
1223
00:55:28,958 --> 00:55:31,500
-Thank you so much.
-Yeah. Let's go. [chuckles]
1224
00:55:32,000 --> 00:55:33,375
[Vitelli] I'll see you out there.
1225
00:55:40,916 --> 00:55:42,625
Hayley, hi. Scusi.
1226
00:55:42,708 --> 00:55:44,000
I have to leave. I'm so sorry.
1227
00:55:44,083 --> 00:55:45,250
-Oh, no!
-Something at my work.
1228
00:55:45,333 --> 00:55:46,708
Oh, okay. Look, don't worry.
1229
00:55:47,166 --> 00:55:49,000
Dina's leaving. Come on, go.
1230
00:55:49,291 --> 00:55:50,125
[Bryan groans]
1231
00:55:50,208 --> 00:55:51,208
-Okay.
-Oh, God!
1232
00:55:51,291 --> 00:55:52,250
Um...
1233
00:55:53,333 --> 00:55:55,333
Yeah, uh, sit down. Sit down, Bryan.
1234
00:55:55,416 --> 00:55:56,541
[groans]
1235
00:55:56,625 --> 00:55:57,791
Oh, my God.
1236
00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:00,333
Okay.
1237
00:56:00,750 --> 00:56:01,666
Bye, Bryan.
1238
00:56:02,500 --> 00:56:03,458
Bye.
1239
00:56:08,333 --> 00:56:09,333
Dina?
1240
00:56:09,875 --> 00:56:11,958
Jack. Hi. I was looking for you.
1241
00:56:12,041 --> 00:56:13,916
-You're not going, are you?
-I know. I'm so sorry.
1242
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,583
I was trying to say goodbye.
There's been this hurricane in Mexico.
1243
00:56:16,666 --> 00:56:18,583
I gotta get back 'cause
my editor has food poisoning.
1244
00:56:18,666 --> 00:56:20,333
It's a long story, but I'm so sorry.
1245
00:56:20,416 --> 00:56:23,458
But maybe we can
get together another time or...
1246
00:56:23,541 --> 00:56:26,916
Will you be in Mexico
or Guadalajara anytime soon?
1247
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:29,250
Look, I just have to say something. Um...
1248
00:56:29,666 --> 00:56:30,583
Yeah.
1249
00:56:31,125 --> 00:56:32,333
Listen. I--
1250
00:56:32,416 --> 00:56:33,791
[Amanda] Ha! There he is!
1251
00:56:33,875 --> 00:56:36,708
-So, you hate me, huh?
-What?
1252
00:56:36,791 --> 00:56:39,041
-Chaz just told me you hate me.
-I didn't say "hate."
1253
00:56:39,125 --> 00:56:40,166
Well, you did say, so...
1254
00:56:40,250 --> 00:56:43,541
[stammers] Okay, no, I did say "hate,"
1255
00:56:43,625 --> 00:56:44,916
but then I changed it.
1256
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:46,083
Yeah, to "dislike."
1257
00:56:46,166 --> 00:56:49,708
-Aww, that's so sweet of you, Jack.
-You don't like me either!
1258
00:56:49,791 --> 00:56:53,291
Why do we have to pretend our relationship
was anything other than the misery it was?
1259
00:56:57,375 --> 00:57:00,000
-Right?
-Okay. Yeah, okay.
1260
00:57:00,125 --> 00:57:02,458
-I guess you make a fair point.
-[cell phone buzzing]
1261
00:57:03,250 --> 00:57:04,583
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
1262
00:57:05,041 --> 00:57:06,208
Just one more thing.
1263
00:57:06,291 --> 00:57:08,708
-What?
-Oh my God! Jack!
1264
00:57:08,791 --> 00:57:10,625
You are a piece of shit!
1265
00:57:10,708 --> 00:57:12,208
-Jack, are you okay?
-[Jack wails]
1266
00:57:12,291 --> 00:57:13,541
Oh, my God. Jack, wait.
1267
00:57:13,625 --> 00:57:15,083
Yes, I will marry you, Chaz.
1268
00:57:15,166 --> 00:57:16,833
Yeah, I don't know if I...
1269
00:57:17,125 --> 00:57:17,958
Um...
1270
00:57:18,041 --> 00:57:19,083
Let me just--
1271
00:57:19,583 --> 00:57:21,166
-Woo!
-[Jack] My nose bleeds all the time!
1272
00:57:21,250 --> 00:57:23,458
[indistinct chatter]
1273
00:57:23,541 --> 00:57:25,541
[classical chamber music playing]
1274
00:57:28,625 --> 00:57:29,666
Hayley and I shagged!
1275
00:57:29,750 --> 00:57:30,583
[music stops]
1276
00:57:30,666 --> 00:57:32,875
-[woman, in Italian] What did he say?
-[woman 2, in Italian] No!
1277
00:57:32,958 --> 00:57:34,833
But what is he doing?
1278
00:57:35,458 --> 00:57:37,958
Sorry, but it's true, Hayley and I shagged,
and we love each other.
1279
00:57:38,041 --> 00:57:39,916
Hayley, come on. Tell them.
1280
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:41,458
Get the hell off the stage.
1281
00:57:41,541 --> 00:57:44,333
[audience gasps, yells]
1282
00:57:45,541 --> 00:57:47,750
[Roberto] Hayley! Hayley! Hayley!
1283
00:57:48,875 --> 00:57:51,041
-No, you go. You go save the world.
-I'm so sorry.
1284
00:57:51,333 --> 00:57:52,416
It always bleeds.
1285
00:57:52,500 --> 00:57:53,458
[cell phone buzzing]
1286
00:57:53,541 --> 00:57:54,416
It's fine.
1287
00:57:55,166 --> 00:57:56,416
Go. [laughs]
1288
00:57:56,500 --> 00:57:57,666
-I'll text you.
-Yeah.
1289
00:57:58,083 --> 00:57:59,500
[sighs] Damn it.
1290
00:57:59,583 --> 00:58:01,500
Go. Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
1291
00:58:01,750 --> 00:58:02,666
Pfft!
1292
00:58:06,375 --> 00:58:08,208
-[woman] Hayley!
-[Hayley yells]
1293
00:58:08,291 --> 00:58:09,541
[Roberto] Hayley!
1294
00:58:09,625 --> 00:58:12,166
[Hayley panting]
1295
00:58:14,250 --> 00:58:15,166
Is it true?
1296
00:58:16,833 --> 00:58:18,291
[Hayley breathing rapidly]
1297
00:58:21,166 --> 00:58:23,291
[Hayley weeps]
1298
00:58:25,541 --> 00:58:26,583
Listen...
1299
00:58:26,666 --> 00:58:27,500
No...
1300
00:58:32,541 --> 00:58:34,916
["Clair de Lune" by Debussy playing]
1301
00:58:35,416 --> 00:58:37,666
[man, in Italian] Come on, take a seat.
1302
00:58:46,708 --> 00:58:47,833
[Bryan] Vitelli...
1303
00:58:48,500 --> 00:58:49,458
Vitelli...
1304
00:58:50,208 --> 00:58:51,333
Vitelli...
1305
00:58:52,208 --> 00:58:53,833
Give us a part, you bastard.
1306
00:58:57,791 --> 00:58:59,416
[birds chirping]
1307
00:59:01,750 --> 00:59:02,833
[groaning]
1308
00:59:02,916 --> 00:59:04,125
Oh, shit.
1309
00:59:09,458 --> 00:59:10,750
Roberto, please.
1310
00:59:11,291 --> 00:59:12,625
Please just talk to me.
1311
00:59:12,708 --> 00:59:14,125
[Roberto mutters in Italian]
1312
00:59:14,208 --> 00:59:15,875
I can't believe it. How could you do it?
1313
00:59:16,333 --> 00:59:18,541
-It's a fucking nightmare, Hayley.
-I know.
1314
00:59:18,625 --> 00:59:21,375
It was such a mistake, and I'm so sorry,
and I love you more than--
1315
00:59:21,458 --> 00:59:22,791
No, it's over.
1316
00:59:22,875 --> 00:59:26,083
-Please, let me just explain it to you.
-No, no, no. I don't want to talk to you.
1317
00:59:26,166 --> 00:59:28,166
Never. Never again. It's over.
1318
00:59:28,625 --> 00:59:30,375
-This wedding is over!
-Roberto!
1319
00:59:30,458 --> 00:59:31,541
Oh, my God!
1320
00:59:31,958 --> 00:59:33,125
[music stops]
1321
00:59:37,250 --> 00:59:38,500
[The Oracle] And there we go.
1322
00:59:39,416 --> 00:59:42,541
One bit of bad luck
and it all goes tits up.
1323
00:59:43,666 --> 00:59:45,750
But what if things had gone differently?
1324
00:59:46,958 --> 00:59:50,000
Remember what I was saying
about the thousands of ways
1325
00:59:50,083 --> 00:59:52,250
eight people can sit around a table?
1326
00:59:52,333 --> 00:59:54,333
[dramatic orchestral music playing]
1327
01:00:51,125 --> 01:00:52,000
Cheers.
1328
01:00:52,708 --> 01:00:53,625
Cheers.
1329
01:00:54,125 --> 01:00:55,375
And then, finally,
1330
01:00:55,791 --> 01:00:59,291
there's just one last hope
that it might all go right.
1331
01:01:00,750 --> 01:01:02,041
Hey, uh, everyone.
1332
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,291
[indistinct chatter]
1333
01:01:11,958 --> 01:01:12,916
Oh, fuck.
1334
01:01:15,166 --> 01:01:16,916
-What's the matter?
-Oh, fuck!
1335
01:01:17,291 --> 01:01:18,125
Jack?
1336
01:01:18,208 --> 01:01:20,833
Oh, shit!
1337
01:01:21,291 --> 01:01:23,416
-[Dina] Jack, what's--
-I'm not supposed to be here.
1338
01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:24,750
What? Jack.
1339
01:01:28,250 --> 01:01:29,375
[in Italian] Sorry, sorry...
1340
01:01:29,458 --> 01:01:30,541
[in English] Sorry.
1341
01:01:31,041 --> 01:01:31,875
[Jack] Fuck!
1342
01:01:32,750 --> 01:01:34,166
Excuse us. Scusi.
1343
01:01:46,416 --> 01:01:47,750
[groaning]
1344
01:01:49,083 --> 01:01:50,791
What on earth are you doing?
1345
01:01:50,875 --> 01:01:52,750
I've just taken a really strong sedative.
1346
01:01:52,833 --> 01:01:55,708
That's a really weird thing
to do at your sister's wedding.
1347
01:01:55,791 --> 01:01:57,958
Well, I didn't do it on purpose, you tit!
1348
01:01:58,041 --> 01:01:59,166
[retching]
1349
01:01:59,250 --> 01:02:00,791
Stop it, Jack. You're making me sick.
1350
01:02:00,875 --> 01:02:03,416
Jesus! How do you make this
fingers-down-the-throat thing work?
1351
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:05,500
Oh, I can't-- I can't do it.
1352
01:02:06,041 --> 01:02:08,625
Look, you have to help me.
Put your fingers down my throat.
1353
01:02:09,458 --> 01:02:12,041
-What?
-I can't do it myself. I just--
1354
01:02:12,125 --> 01:02:13,625
I need you to do it for me, all right?
1355
01:02:13,708 --> 01:02:16,375
You've got those big, long, weird,
gangly fingers.
1356
01:02:16,458 --> 01:02:18,291
They'll go further down my throat.
1357
01:02:18,375 --> 01:02:21,166
I've got to go impress Vitelli.
I can't be getting involved in this.
1358
01:02:21,250 --> 01:02:23,166
What's Dina gonna think
if I start falling asleep at the table?
1359
01:02:23,250 --> 01:02:26,250
-She's gonna think I'm a total fuck-wit!
-Yeah.
1360
01:02:26,333 --> 01:02:27,916
Please, Bryan, for me.
1361
01:02:28,375 --> 01:02:30,791
-I don't want to.
-I really need you to do this for me.
1362
01:02:30,875 --> 01:02:32,333
I really don't want to.
1363
01:02:32,458 --> 01:02:33,916
Please, it's Hayley's wedding.
1364
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,041
[sighs]
1365
01:02:36,708 --> 01:02:38,500
[whimpers]
1366
01:02:38,583 --> 01:02:40,583
-Okay, okay.
-Okay.
1367
01:02:40,666 --> 01:02:42,791
But I want you to remember
what a good friend I am.
1368
01:02:42,875 --> 01:02:44,583
Okay, yeah. Great friend.
1369
01:02:44,666 --> 01:02:47,166
-Best friend.
-Best friend. You're my best friend.
1370
01:02:52,333 --> 01:02:54,958
[wedding host] Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. and Mrs. Carboni.
1371
01:02:59,208 --> 01:03:00,916
[cheering in Italian]
1372
01:03:02,833 --> 01:03:05,125
How do you-- How do you want to--
1373
01:03:05,208 --> 01:03:07,208
-No!
-Just give me your fucking fingers.
1374
01:03:07,291 --> 01:03:08,916
-Okay, okay, okay!
-Just keep 'em straight.
1375
01:03:09,000 --> 01:03:09,916
I am.
1376
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:12,291
No!
1377
01:03:12,375 --> 01:03:14,208
-No, no, no!
-[Jack coughs]
1378
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,458
Oh, God!
This is the worst moment of my life.
1379
01:03:18,083 --> 01:03:19,000
[Bryan] Oh, no!
1380
01:03:19,083 --> 01:03:21,416
[Bryan groaning]
1381
01:03:21,500 --> 01:03:23,125
-[Jack groans]
-Oh.
1382
01:03:23,916 --> 01:03:24,875
[gasps]
1383
01:03:25,500 --> 01:03:26,625
[Dina] Uh...
1384
01:03:26,708 --> 01:03:28,541
Uh, sorry-- No, I was just--
1385
01:03:28,625 --> 01:03:31,250
I just wanted to check to see
if you guys were good. You good?
1386
01:03:31,750 --> 01:03:32,708
Good? Uh...
1387
01:03:33,500 --> 01:03:35,583
Yeah, I can-- I'm gonna find--
I'm just gonna--
1388
01:03:35,666 --> 01:03:37,500
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna find something...
1389
01:03:37,583 --> 01:03:40,166
["Non più andrai" by Mozart playing]
1390
01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:01,291
[utensils clinking]
1391
01:04:04,708 --> 01:04:05,708
[Dina] Um...
1392
01:04:05,833 --> 01:04:06,916
Great. Thank you. Could I--
1393
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:08,666
Could I also grab, um...
1394
01:04:09,291 --> 01:04:10,416
some coffees?
1395
01:04:10,875 --> 01:04:12,166
-[Jack] Thanks.
-I have no idea.
1396
01:04:17,958 --> 01:04:19,458
Look, I'd wish you'd never...
1397
01:04:19,541 --> 01:04:21,041
Can we just pretend that,
1398
01:04:21,125 --> 01:04:23,166
you know, whatever you saw back there
never happened?
1399
01:04:23,916 --> 01:04:25,541
It's a pretty enduring image.
1400
01:04:25,625 --> 01:04:27,166
Kind of hard to forget.
1401
01:04:27,250 --> 01:04:28,083
[Dina chuckles]
1402
01:04:28,166 --> 01:04:29,916
Right. Uh, no.
1403
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:31,583
There's-- There's a totally...
1404
01:04:32,333 --> 01:04:34,291
totally reasonable explanation for that.
1405
01:04:34,375 --> 01:04:35,333
It's a funny story.
1406
01:04:35,625 --> 01:04:37,291
Really. Very funny.
1407
01:04:38,041 --> 01:04:41,416
And I will tell you about it,
just not today.
1408
01:04:41,750 --> 01:04:43,875
Could we just try to forget it?
1409
01:04:48,125 --> 01:04:49,250
Yeah, I can try.
1410
01:04:49,333 --> 01:04:50,500
-Good, good.
-Okay.
1411
01:04:50,833 --> 01:04:52,333
That was-- It was weird. It was weird.
1412
01:04:52,708 --> 01:04:54,208
Yeah. I know.
1413
01:04:54,291 --> 01:04:55,833
-But...
-I'm sorry. So, come on.
1414
01:04:55,916 --> 01:04:58,625
[stammers] You were about to tell me...
1415
01:04:59,416 --> 01:05:01,625
what you've been up to
since I last saw you.
1416
01:05:01,708 --> 01:05:04,875
Okay, well, I guess the main thing
has been work. Uh...
1417
01:05:04,958 --> 01:05:06,833
You know, it's taken everything.
1418
01:05:07,291 --> 01:05:10,958
Honestly. I mean, I only really
stopped and looked up
1419
01:05:11,041 --> 01:05:12,208
when my mom got sick.
1420
01:05:16,458 --> 01:05:18,708
Is my mom's terminal cancer boring you?
1421
01:05:18,791 --> 01:05:21,000
No. No, it's not.
1422
01:05:22,083 --> 01:05:22,916
Carry on.
1423
01:05:23,541 --> 01:05:24,583
-You sure?
-Yeah.
1424
01:05:24,708 --> 01:05:25,583
[chuckles]
1425
01:05:25,833 --> 01:05:26,666
Okay.
1426
01:05:27,750 --> 01:05:28,583
Um...
1427
01:05:32,583 --> 01:05:33,416
You know, I...
1428
01:05:33,500 --> 01:05:37,875
I had-- I know told you how
she and I were really close, and, um...
1429
01:05:38,083 --> 01:05:39,000
Hm.
1430
01:05:39,416 --> 01:05:40,583
Well, you know, it just...
1431
01:05:42,375 --> 01:05:44,458
You know, the whole thing was just
1432
01:05:44,541 --> 01:05:47,083
a really huge punch to the gut, honestly.
1433
01:05:49,541 --> 01:05:50,916
-[Jack yawns]
-[Dina] Uh...
1434
01:05:54,416 --> 01:05:57,750
The truth is, I just can't get over
the randomness of it, you know?
1435
01:05:59,916 --> 01:06:00,791
Like, why her?
1436
01:06:02,708 --> 01:06:03,625
Yeah, why?
1437
01:06:03,708 --> 01:06:04,750
You know, I don't, um...
1438
01:06:05,791 --> 01:06:07,208
[voice breaking] I don't normally...
1439
01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:11,375
talk to people about this
because it just feels really weird, but...
1440
01:06:11,458 --> 01:06:12,333
Mm-hmm?
1441
01:06:14,083 --> 01:06:16,041
[Dina] You know,
I'm really devastated by it.
1442
01:06:19,291 --> 01:06:21,375
I don't really think I'm over it, and I...
1443
01:06:24,125 --> 01:06:27,500
The truth is, I don't think I'll ever
really be over it, you know?
1444
01:06:27,583 --> 01:06:28,875
[snoring]
1445
01:06:30,958 --> 01:06:32,666
Are you fucking kidding me?
1446
01:06:32,875 --> 01:06:35,375
["Piano Concerto No. 20"
by Mozart playing]
1447
01:06:44,916 --> 01:06:46,166
Sorry. One second.
1448
01:06:46,250 --> 01:06:49,166
-Why are you awake?
-Why am I awake? Why wouldn't I be awake?
1449
01:06:53,041 --> 01:06:53,916
[Sidney] Ah.
1450
01:06:54,875 --> 01:06:55,916
Shots!
1451
01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:57,791
-[Sidney] Shots?
-Shots, shots, shots, shots!
1452
01:06:57,875 --> 01:06:59,833
-She's saying shots.
-Shots! Shots! Shots!
1453
01:06:59,916 --> 01:07:01,125
Get this lady a shot.
1454
01:07:03,041 --> 01:07:04,291
All right.
1455
01:07:05,125 --> 01:07:06,916
-Maddie Richards.
-What?
1456
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:09,583
Maddie Richards never had any complaints
about me in the bedroom.
1457
01:07:09,666 --> 01:07:12,625
She always said I was
a solid 7,5 out of 10.
1458
01:07:13,125 --> 01:07:15,500
And most of the time,
I didn't even have a full erection,
1459
01:07:15,583 --> 01:07:17,208
so imagine what you're getting.
1460
01:07:20,791 --> 01:07:22,125
I'm so lucky, right?
1461
01:07:22,583 --> 01:07:24,250
Well done. Well done.
1462
01:07:24,333 --> 01:07:25,666
Yeah, well, you are lucky, and...
1463
01:07:26,666 --> 01:07:27,791
you should feel lucky.
1464
01:07:29,458 --> 01:07:31,250
[Bryan] Come on, come on, come on.
1465
01:07:31,333 --> 01:07:33,375
Just go over and say hello for God's sake.
1466
01:07:49,291 --> 01:07:50,458
Bryan, fuck off.
1467
01:07:54,541 --> 01:07:55,375
Jack.
1468
01:07:56,541 --> 01:07:57,916
Jack. Jack.
1469
01:07:58,458 --> 01:07:59,291
Hm?
1470
01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:01,833
Jack!
1471
01:08:03,250 --> 01:08:04,791
[groggily] Wassup?
1472
01:08:05,250 --> 01:08:07,166
So, Chaz asked me to marry him.
1473
01:08:13,791 --> 01:08:16,083
I said, Chaz asked me to marry him.
1474
01:08:17,083 --> 01:08:18,083
[hoarsely] Oh, congrats.
1475
01:08:21,250 --> 01:08:23,041
[Jack inhales sharply]
1476
01:08:33,208 --> 01:08:34,125
[Jack] Oh, fuck.
1477
01:08:44,583 --> 01:08:45,625
[sighs heavily]
1478
01:08:45,916 --> 01:08:48,083
Uh... what d'you want?
1479
01:08:49,916 --> 01:08:50,875
Dude.
1480
01:08:51,791 --> 01:08:53,625
Don't ruin my sister's wedding, all right?
1481
01:08:53,708 --> 01:08:55,000
It's out of order.
1482
01:08:55,333 --> 01:08:57,500
I'm not ruining anything.
1483
01:08:57,625 --> 01:08:59,583
[Jack groans]
1484
01:08:59,666 --> 01:09:01,125
I'm saving her.
1485
01:09:02,250 --> 01:09:04,791
[wedding host] Signore e signori,
ladies and gentlemen...
1486
01:09:05,208 --> 01:09:06,208
No, Marc.
1487
01:09:08,250 --> 01:09:12,083
[host] We'll now have our first dance
with Hayley and Roberto.
1488
01:09:12,833 --> 01:09:13,833
[guests applauding]
1489
01:09:13,916 --> 01:09:14,875
[groans]
1490
01:09:14,958 --> 01:09:17,958
[Op. 75 from Romantic Pieces
by Dvořák playing]
1491
01:09:34,708 --> 01:09:35,666
Jack.
1492
01:09:36,750 --> 01:09:37,750
Jack.
1493
01:09:39,291 --> 01:09:41,333
-Come on.
-Hey, Bryan.
1494
01:09:41,416 --> 01:09:43,041
Get up, Jack.
1495
01:09:44,708 --> 01:09:45,916
[Bryan strains]
1496
01:09:46,291 --> 01:09:47,583
Oh, my God.
1497
01:09:47,958 --> 01:09:49,458
Jack, come on.
1498
01:09:52,458 --> 01:09:53,375
[Bryan grunts]
1499
01:09:54,125 --> 01:09:55,166
[Bryan sighs]
1500
01:09:55,833 --> 01:09:56,791
Jack.
1501
01:09:58,375 --> 01:09:59,333
Jack.
1502
01:10:01,125 --> 01:10:02,083
Jack!
1503
01:10:02,375 --> 01:10:04,166
Ow! What are you doing?
1504
01:10:04,250 --> 01:10:05,375
I'm trying to help you.
1505
01:10:05,458 --> 01:10:07,125
By whacking me in the face?
1506
01:10:07,208 --> 01:10:09,125
Fine. Go to sleep, then. I'm just--
1507
01:10:09,208 --> 01:10:11,625
No, look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1508
01:10:11,708 --> 01:10:13,000
I know you're trying to help.
1509
01:10:13,083 --> 01:10:14,666
I'm just really stressed.
1510
01:10:14,750 --> 01:10:16,666
Hayley's in a really big mess.
1511
01:10:16,750 --> 01:10:19,541
Look, you're always getting Hayley
out some mess or other.
1512
01:10:19,625 --> 01:10:22,166
Well, yeah, she's my sister. She needs me.
1513
01:10:24,833 --> 01:10:27,375
[sighs] Also, I think Dina hates me.
1514
01:10:27,875 --> 01:10:28,750
Why?
1515
01:10:30,916 --> 01:10:34,166
I was falling asleep as she was telling me
about her mum dying.
1516
01:10:34,500 --> 01:10:35,583
Oh, man.
1517
01:10:36,416 --> 01:10:38,166
-Yeesh.
-Yeah.
1518
01:10:38,250 --> 01:10:39,583
-[music stops]
-[guests applaud]
1519
01:10:39,666 --> 01:10:40,833
I'm such an arsehole.
1520
01:10:40,916 --> 01:10:42,583
No, you're not an arsehole, Jack.
1521
01:10:43,416 --> 01:10:44,375
-I am.
-You're not.
1522
01:10:45,000 --> 01:10:47,000
I think you might be
the best person I know.
1523
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:50,416
But you can't keep putting
everybody else first.
1524
01:10:51,333 --> 01:10:52,708
I'm worried about you, man.
1525
01:10:54,083 --> 01:10:54,958
[chuckles]
1526
01:10:55,916 --> 01:10:56,791
Yeah.
1527
01:10:59,041 --> 01:11:00,166
[exhales]
1528
01:11:00,333 --> 01:11:01,666
I love you, man.
1529
01:11:03,250 --> 01:11:05,916
-Yeah, all right.
-No, I mean-- No, no.
1530
01:11:07,250 --> 01:11:08,375
[mumbles incoherently]
1531
01:11:10,041 --> 01:11:11,416
I properly love you.
1532
01:11:12,375 --> 01:11:14,000
More than just a mate, you know?
1533
01:11:15,958 --> 01:11:17,583
Yeah... All right--
1534
01:11:17,666 --> 01:11:19,666
[snoring loudly]
1535
01:11:20,458 --> 01:11:22,375
[spitting]
1536
01:11:24,666 --> 01:11:26,250
Hey! [chuckles]
1537
01:11:26,333 --> 01:11:27,291
You told Roberto yet?
1538
01:11:27,375 --> 01:11:30,291
-I haven't. Piss off.
-I'll give you till the cake comes out.
1539
01:11:30,708 --> 01:11:31,666
[sniffles]
1540
01:11:33,416 --> 01:11:34,833
[Jack sighs]
1541
01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:36,541
[Hayley scoffs]
1542
01:11:36,958 --> 01:11:38,041
[exhales]
1543
01:11:38,333 --> 01:11:39,166
Oh, my God.
1544
01:11:40,083 --> 01:11:41,833
Jack, come with me.
1545
01:11:41,916 --> 01:11:43,708
-Come on.
-Oh, come on. I'm too tired.
1546
01:11:43,791 --> 01:11:44,875
Up you get. Come on.
1547
01:11:45,541 --> 01:11:47,500
[Hayley] You've taken the sleep drops,
haven't you?
1548
01:11:47,583 --> 01:11:48,666
-[Jack] Hmm?
-Jack!
1549
01:11:48,750 --> 01:11:50,333
-[Jack mumbles]
-[Hayley laughs nervously]
1550
01:11:50,416 --> 01:11:51,791
You total bell end.
1551
01:11:51,875 --> 01:11:54,000
-Please wake up.
-I'm so awake.
1552
01:11:54,083 --> 01:11:55,916
-Walking!
-I am walking.
1553
01:11:57,500 --> 01:11:58,791
-Honestly.
-I am walking.
1554
01:11:59,833 --> 01:12:03,750
-[Jack] Where are you taking me?
-Just somewhere private.
1555
01:12:04,791 --> 01:12:06,166
[Jack] This is so private.
1556
01:12:07,458 --> 01:12:08,291
[Jack sighs]
1557
01:12:08,375 --> 01:12:10,000
Jack, please.
1558
01:12:10,083 --> 01:12:12,666
-Ow! Why does everyone keep hitting me?
-I need you.
1559
01:12:12,750 --> 01:12:13,583
Why?
1560
01:12:13,666 --> 01:12:16,541
I mean, look, is this really
such a big deal?
1561
01:12:16,625 --> 01:12:18,541
Like, can't we just relax and go to sleep?
1562
01:12:18,875 --> 01:12:20,583
Marc is gonna tell Roberto...
1563
01:12:21,500 --> 01:12:23,000
that I had sex with him.
1564
01:12:23,541 --> 01:12:26,250
But, like, from when you were younger?
1565
01:12:26,916 --> 01:12:28,000
[inhales sharply]
1566
01:12:31,500 --> 01:12:33,541
-How recently?
-A few weeks ago.
1567
01:12:33,625 --> 01:12:34,583
Oh, Jesus.
1568
01:12:35,291 --> 01:12:37,333
And Roberto is gonna leave me!
And I deserve it!
1569
01:12:37,416 --> 01:12:39,583
Because I fuck everything up!
1570
01:12:39,666 --> 01:12:41,458
-No, you don't.
-Yes, I do! Yes!
1571
01:12:41,541 --> 01:12:43,708
I'm a colossal loser!
1572
01:12:43,791 --> 01:12:45,958
You are not a loser.
1573
01:12:47,625 --> 01:12:48,458
All right?
1574
01:12:49,041 --> 01:12:50,666
You are my sister.
1575
01:12:52,750 --> 01:12:56,125
And you're the funniest, most brilliant,
most caring person in the world.
1576
01:12:56,208 --> 01:13:00,583
And if it turns out that Roberto can't
forgive you for a really stupid mistake--
1577
01:13:00,666 --> 01:13:03,125
-Oh, Jack!
-But-- No, listen, listen, listen.
1578
01:13:03,208 --> 01:13:05,625
If he can't--
Look, if he can't forgive you...
1579
01:13:08,750 --> 01:13:09,750
I'll still be here.
1580
01:13:13,708 --> 01:13:15,000
I'll always be around.
1581
01:13:17,541 --> 01:13:18,625
We can be losers together.
1582
01:13:18,916 --> 01:13:20,000
[laughs]
1583
01:13:21,041 --> 01:13:23,916
["Clair de Lune" by Debussy playing]
1584
01:13:28,416 --> 01:13:29,250
[Jack] Hey.
1585
01:13:29,708 --> 01:13:30,666
[Hayley sighs]
1586
01:13:31,041 --> 01:13:33,166
I think you and I have the same problem.
1587
01:13:34,000 --> 01:13:34,833
Do we?
1588
01:13:34,916 --> 01:13:35,875
[Jack] Mm-hmm.
1589
01:13:36,500 --> 01:13:40,250
We're just afraid to let
a real relationship happen 'cause...
1590
01:13:42,541 --> 01:13:45,000
we know how easy it is
to lose the ones we love.
1591
01:13:57,750 --> 01:13:59,250
-Jack. Jack!
-I'm awake.
1592
01:13:59,958 --> 01:14:02,416
-I'm awake, I'm awake, I'm awake.
-Please.
1593
01:14:02,833 --> 01:14:04,458
-Please.
-I'm so here.
1594
01:14:07,625 --> 01:14:08,541
Coffee?
1595
01:14:09,125 --> 01:14:10,083
-Yeah.
-Okay.
1596
01:14:11,958 --> 01:14:15,791
[Sidney] So, I arrived back at my desk
to find...
1597
01:14:15,875 --> 01:14:17,875
[Sidney laughs]
1598
01:14:19,250 --> 01:14:20,708
They've smashed my laptop.
1599
01:14:20,791 --> 01:14:21,750
Jim and Jeff?
1600
01:14:21,833 --> 01:14:23,750
An old laptop. It's not my main laptop.
1601
01:14:25,416 --> 01:14:27,166
Jim and Jeff sound like assholes.
1602
01:14:28,541 --> 01:14:29,625
An old laptop.
1603
01:14:30,333 --> 01:14:32,416
-Oh, my God, I have to tell you something.
-Mm-hmm?
1604
01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:34,625
-They're not your friends. Cheers.
-Cheers.
1605
01:14:38,083 --> 01:14:39,916
-You drink that?
-I am drinking this.
1606
01:14:41,708 --> 01:14:43,125
Oh, God, I need bread.
1607
01:15:01,541 --> 01:15:02,375
[Rebecca] Hello!
1608
01:15:03,416 --> 01:15:05,541
A vision in navy. [chuckles]
1609
01:15:05,625 --> 01:15:07,875
[lounge music playing in background]
1610
01:15:07,958 --> 01:15:08,791
[clears throat]
1611
01:15:08,875 --> 01:15:10,041
-Rebecca?
-Yes?
1612
01:15:10,750 --> 01:15:11,750
Why do you like me?
1613
01:15:12,375 --> 01:15:13,291
I...
1614
01:15:13,458 --> 01:15:17,250
I mean, I'm a totally self-obsessed,
neurotic mess.
1615
01:15:18,250 --> 01:15:21,041
Yeah. Yeah. But I'm... I'm...
1616
01:15:21,625 --> 01:15:24,583
I suppose I don't really mind
those-- those things about you.
1617
01:15:25,583 --> 01:15:27,416
But don't you think I'm a bit of an idiot?
1618
01:15:28,333 --> 01:15:29,458
Oh, yeah.
1619
01:15:29,541 --> 01:15:30,375
Yeah.
1620
01:15:30,458 --> 01:15:32,333
I mean, you're a massive idiot. Yeah.
1621
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:34,625
-Yeah.
-Well, yeah.
1622
01:15:36,541 --> 01:15:38,666
But I suppose there's one or two people
1623
01:15:38,750 --> 01:15:42,458
who would say that I am
a bit of a massive idiot.
1624
01:15:44,250 --> 01:15:46,958
And so you being
a massive idiot is sort of
1625
01:15:47,041 --> 01:15:50,625
what I actually like the best about you.
1626
01:15:53,250 --> 01:15:56,458
I suppose what I'm saying is
that I just like you for being you.
1627
01:15:57,416 --> 01:15:58,291
[chuckles]
1628
01:15:58,708 --> 01:15:59,583
Oh, wow.
1629
01:16:00,916 --> 01:16:01,750
That's...
1630
01:16:02,166 --> 01:16:03,166
It's...
1631
01:16:03,958 --> 01:16:07,000
I don't think anybody's ever
liked me for being me before.
1632
01:16:07,083 --> 01:16:09,500
They usually like me
for who I pretend to be.
1633
01:16:10,083 --> 01:16:11,083
Like, occasionally.
1634
01:16:13,666 --> 01:16:14,500
Well...
1635
01:16:16,166 --> 01:16:18,125
with me you don't have to pretend.
1636
01:16:37,208 --> 01:16:38,041
Oh.
1637
01:16:42,583 --> 01:16:43,500
Um...
1638
01:16:44,208 --> 01:16:45,041
Thank you.
1639
01:16:45,125 --> 01:16:46,333
No, thank you.
1640
01:16:48,125 --> 01:16:50,041
-Sorry, that was-- I didn't know this--
-No.
1641
01:16:50,125 --> 01:16:51,750
-No, I don't--
-I just, I--
1642
01:16:51,833 --> 01:16:53,125
I-- I definitely didn't.
1643
01:16:54,208 --> 01:16:55,375
'Cause it's, uh...
1644
01:16:56,583 --> 01:16:57,833
I'm-- Would you mind if--
1645
01:16:57,916 --> 01:16:59,541
-If we did just one more?
-That'd be good.
1646
01:16:59,625 --> 01:17:00,833
-Yeah? [laughs]
-Yeah.
1647
01:17:13,666 --> 01:17:14,500
She's yours.
1648
01:17:15,666 --> 01:17:16,500
[exhales sharply]
1649
01:17:20,250 --> 01:17:21,375
-Marc!
-What do you want?
1650
01:17:21,458 --> 01:17:24,166
-I just want to talk to you.
-Well, there's nothing to talk about.
1651
01:17:24,250 --> 01:17:26,208
Marc, please, please, please, please.
1652
01:17:26,291 --> 01:17:28,375
Just... Just-- Just listen.
1653
01:17:28,458 --> 01:17:30,833
I know how you feel about Hayley.
1654
01:17:31,750 --> 01:17:34,958
But maybe some things
just aren't meant to be.
1655
01:17:35,041 --> 01:17:36,375
-Not this.
-Just...
1656
01:17:38,333 --> 01:17:40,833
What I do know is that Hayley
deserves to be happy.
1657
01:17:40,916 --> 01:17:41,750
Yeah.
1658
01:17:44,083 --> 01:17:46,041
But she's happy with Roberto.
1659
01:17:48,125 --> 01:17:49,166
[sighs] If you...
1660
01:17:50,333 --> 01:17:54,541
If you really, truly care about her,
please let her go.
1661
01:18:02,708 --> 01:18:04,458
[sighs]
1662
01:18:10,791 --> 01:18:12,541
Okay. Okay.
1663
01:18:12,625 --> 01:18:14,583
[chamber music playing]
1664
01:18:19,041 --> 01:18:20,208
[groans]
1665
01:18:22,666 --> 01:18:24,458
[footsteps approaching]
1666
01:18:25,458 --> 01:18:26,291
Jack.
1667
01:18:26,375 --> 01:18:27,333
Jack.
1668
01:18:27,416 --> 01:18:28,250
Sidney...
1669
01:18:29,208 --> 01:18:32,416
-I'm really not on my best right now.
-You see, Jack, you're good with ladies,
1670
01:18:32,500 --> 01:18:34,666
and I was wondering
if you had any pointers.
1671
01:18:35,333 --> 01:18:41,458
Believe me, I'm not the best person
to ask for advice about anything.
1672
01:18:41,541 --> 01:18:43,125
-Yes, you are, Jack.
-Not right now.
1673
01:18:43,541 --> 01:18:46,250
Now, I know I'm not as sexy as...
1674
01:18:47,125 --> 01:18:47,958
Brad Pitt.
1675
01:18:53,625 --> 01:18:55,833
But now I'm starting to worry
that I might be...
1676
01:18:57,166 --> 01:18:59,041
I'm probably overthinking it, but...
1677
01:19:00,583 --> 01:19:01,666
Well, am I boring?
1678
01:19:02,666 --> 01:19:03,791
[snoring]
1679
01:19:03,875 --> 01:19:04,708
Jack?
1680
01:19:10,250 --> 01:19:11,083
Jack?
1681
01:19:15,041 --> 01:19:16,208
[snoring]
1682
01:19:21,958 --> 01:19:24,208
-Sidney? Sidney, Sidney.
-Yes? Sorry, Jack.
1683
01:19:24,875 --> 01:19:25,750
Go on.
1684
01:19:26,458 --> 01:19:27,416
Look.
1685
01:19:27,833 --> 01:19:31,208
-Try to listen more--
-Yes. Because you're good at that.
1686
01:19:31,291 --> 01:19:32,333
-No.
-You're--
1687
01:19:32,416 --> 01:19:33,375
Yes.
1688
01:19:33,458 --> 01:19:35,333
-Try to--
-You let people have their say.
1689
01:19:36,166 --> 01:19:37,583
-Sidney--
-You create a vibe.
1690
01:19:37,666 --> 01:19:38,916
You create a vibe.
1691
01:19:41,833 --> 01:19:44,958
Just listen more to people.
1692
01:19:45,375 --> 01:19:47,458
And I know they're your friends,
all right, but...
1693
01:19:49,250 --> 01:19:50,708
stop going on about Jim and Jeff.
1694
01:19:50,791 --> 01:19:51,750
[chuckles]
1695
01:19:53,250 --> 01:19:54,708
I don't know them that well.
1696
01:19:58,416 --> 01:20:00,083
Then why do you go on about them?
1697
01:20:01,416 --> 01:20:03,791
I suppose to make myself
sound more popular.
1698
01:20:04,708 --> 01:20:05,708
It's not working.
1699
01:20:07,750 --> 01:20:08,625
No.
1700
01:20:11,875 --> 01:20:13,500
-No?
-[whispers] No.
1701
01:20:14,291 --> 01:20:16,000
-Definitely not?
-It's--
1702
01:20:16,083 --> 01:20:17,583
Stop talking about Jim and Jeff.
1703
01:20:18,083 --> 01:20:19,041
And for heaven's sake...
1704
01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:21,000
listen.
1705
01:20:22,333 --> 01:20:23,166
Good luck.
1706
01:20:24,416 --> 01:20:25,541
-Onwards.
-Yeah.
1707
01:20:43,916 --> 01:20:45,875
Signore e signori,
ladies and gentlemen,
1708
01:20:45,958 --> 01:20:49,041
now we'll have the speech
of the maid of honor, Bryan.
1709
01:20:49,125 --> 01:20:50,250
[guests applaud]
1710
01:20:50,333 --> 01:20:52,041
-Where are you going?
-Shit, that's me.
1711
01:20:52,125 --> 01:20:53,166
That's you. That's you.
1712
01:20:53,583 --> 01:20:54,416
Hey! [laughs]
1713
01:20:59,083 --> 01:21:00,916
[audience cheers]
1714
01:21:08,250 --> 01:21:09,250
[glass clinking]
1715
01:21:13,916 --> 01:21:14,791
Hello, everyone.
1716
01:21:15,500 --> 01:21:16,416
Uh...
1717
01:21:16,958 --> 01:21:19,125
Apologies for my lack of Italian.
1718
01:21:19,250 --> 01:21:20,166
Um...
1719
01:21:22,500 --> 01:21:23,583
[Bryan sighs]
1720
01:21:25,291 --> 01:21:26,125
[Bryan exhales]
1721
01:21:27,375 --> 01:21:28,208
[Bryan] Um...
1722
01:21:31,333 --> 01:21:33,000
Love is a weird thing, isn't it?
1723
01:21:34,333 --> 01:21:36,291
It's unpredictable sometimes...
1724
01:21:37,625 --> 01:21:38,541
confusing.
1725
01:21:40,583 --> 01:21:41,625
But I think...
1726
01:21:42,416 --> 01:21:43,958
the most important thing...
1727
01:21:46,166 --> 01:21:47,708
is that the person you're with...
1728
01:21:48,750 --> 01:21:50,500
loves you for being you.
1729
01:21:51,541 --> 01:21:52,583
[Bryan] You are enough.
1730
01:21:53,541 --> 01:21:55,458
And you love them just for being them.
1731
01:21:55,875 --> 01:21:57,958
And that's what Hayley and Roberto have.
1732
01:22:01,958 --> 01:22:03,583
And that's what I have with Rebecca.
1733
01:22:04,208 --> 01:22:05,041
[yelps]
1734
01:22:05,458 --> 01:22:06,291
[in Italian] Animal!
1735
01:22:06,375 --> 01:22:08,125
I am-- I am so sorry. My God.
1736
01:22:12,291 --> 01:22:14,708
I love you to bits, Hayles, and...
1737
01:22:15,041 --> 01:22:18,416
I'm so glad you're happy.
1738
01:22:19,500 --> 01:22:22,125
And I hope it lasts forever.
1739
01:22:22,208 --> 01:22:24,041
[laughs softly]
1740
01:22:24,750 --> 01:22:25,916
Hayley and Roberto.
1741
01:22:26,875 --> 01:22:28,875
[all] Hayley and Roberto!
1742
01:22:28,958 --> 01:22:30,291
[guests applauding]
1743
01:22:30,375 --> 01:22:31,208
[Bryan] Thank you.
1744
01:22:42,375 --> 01:22:43,625
[stammers] Was that okay?
1745
01:22:43,708 --> 01:22:44,583
Mm.
1746
01:22:44,958 --> 01:22:46,958
I thought it was brilliant.
You were very good.
1747
01:22:48,166 --> 01:22:50,916
-Um, I'll just get another drink.
-Yeah, yeah.
1748
01:22:54,916 --> 01:22:55,916
[sighs]
1749
01:22:59,416 --> 01:23:01,416
[romantic string music playing]
1750
01:23:02,416 --> 01:23:03,833
[inaudible]
1751
01:23:19,750 --> 01:23:20,791
Hayley and I...
1752
01:23:21,791 --> 01:23:23,041
[audience quietens]
1753
01:23:27,500 --> 01:23:28,541
Hayley and...
1754
01:23:32,041 --> 01:23:32,875
Hayley...
1755
01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:35,500
Hayley... uh...
1756
01:23:38,708 --> 01:23:40,541
Hay... Hayley...
1757
01:23:56,041 --> 01:23:56,958
Hayley...
1758
01:23:57,750 --> 01:23:58,583
and...
1759
01:24:00,208 --> 01:24:01,083
Roberto...
1760
01:24:09,166 --> 01:24:10,000
I hope you'll...
1761
01:24:11,583 --> 01:24:13,583
both be very happy together.
1762
01:24:20,000 --> 01:24:21,541
[guests applaud]
1763
01:24:23,833 --> 01:24:24,791
Thank you.
1764
01:24:26,500 --> 01:24:27,708
[indistinct chatter]
1765
01:24:27,791 --> 01:24:28,666
Chin-chin.
1766
01:24:31,875 --> 01:24:33,333
I'll be-- I'll be right back, okay?
1767
01:24:37,333 --> 01:24:38,166
Just--
1768
01:24:38,250 --> 01:24:40,041
-I'm gonna go and talk to him.
-Okay, okay.
1769
01:24:41,625 --> 01:24:42,875
-Here you go.
-Oh, thank you.
1770
01:24:46,458 --> 01:24:47,375
[Bryan murmurs]
1771
01:24:50,375 --> 01:24:51,208
Marc.
1772
01:25:07,791 --> 01:25:11,333
["Clair de Lune" by Debussy playing]
1773
01:25:25,166 --> 01:25:26,125
All right?
1774
01:25:26,958 --> 01:25:27,791
Hey.
1775
01:25:27,875 --> 01:25:28,750
Um...
1776
01:25:28,875 --> 01:25:29,833
I've been thinking.
1777
01:25:31,416 --> 01:25:32,333
We...
1778
01:25:33,208 --> 01:25:34,541
Maybe we shouldn't get married.
1779
01:25:36,500 --> 01:25:38,291
'Cause, I mean...
1780
01:25:38,375 --> 01:25:40,458
you're clearly not in love with me, and...
1781
01:25:41,875 --> 01:25:44,000
that wouldn't really work, would it?
1782
01:25:47,875 --> 01:25:48,708
Would it?
1783
01:25:50,916 --> 01:25:54,375
Someone somewhere is going to be
so lucky to have you.
1784
01:25:55,750 --> 01:25:56,750
[voice breaking] Yeah.
1785
01:25:57,833 --> 01:26:00,125
Especially with those awesome genitals.
1786
01:26:00,625 --> 01:26:01,458
Ah...
1787
01:26:02,041 --> 01:26:02,875
I knew it.
1788
01:26:03,666 --> 01:26:06,708
It's-- But it's nice of you
to confirm it 'cause...
1789
01:26:06,791 --> 01:26:09,583
[sniffles] ...it's been
playing on my mind.
1790
01:26:09,708 --> 01:26:11,833
So, yeah.
1791
01:26:13,750 --> 01:26:14,750
[sighs]
1792
01:26:28,250 --> 01:26:29,208
[sighs]
1793
01:26:29,500 --> 01:26:32,000
No, here your watermelons
have way too many seeds.
1794
01:26:32,083 --> 01:26:33,458
That's where you're wrong.
1795
01:26:33,541 --> 01:26:34,458
You're wrong.
1796
01:26:34,541 --> 01:26:36,250
Okay, in America, we don't do seeds.
1797
01:26:36,333 --> 01:26:38,083
You know, we just make 'em
without the seeds.
1798
01:26:38,166 --> 01:26:39,166
I don't even know how...
1799
01:26:41,833 --> 01:26:42,750
[Sidney sighs]
1800
01:26:45,625 --> 01:26:46,500
-Hi.
-Hello.
1801
01:26:47,333 --> 01:26:49,250
-My name is Cristina.
-Cristina?
1802
01:26:49,333 --> 01:26:51,333
-Cristina, yeah.
-My name's Sidney.
1803
01:26:51,541 --> 01:26:53,041
-Oh, Sidney.
-Hello.
1804
01:26:53,666 --> 01:26:56,666
-Ah, so what do you do, Sidney?
-I'm in car insurance.
1805
01:26:56,750 --> 01:26:57,666
Oh.
1806
01:26:58,416 --> 01:26:59,916
Not as dry as it sounds.
1807
01:27:00,625 --> 01:27:02,000
I work with a couple of, um...
1808
01:27:04,750 --> 01:27:06,541
Tell me about yourself.
What do you do?
1809
01:27:06,958 --> 01:27:08,458
-Myself?
-What do you do? Yeah.
1810
01:27:08,541 --> 01:27:09,416
[both chuckle]
1811
01:27:09,500 --> 01:27:12,291
-I work in a post office.
-In the post office?
1812
01:27:12,375 --> 01:27:14,583
-Yeah, in Rome.
-You're joking me. Wow. In Rome?
1813
01:27:15,208 --> 01:27:17,041
-And I have one friend.
-Very exotic. Go on.
1814
01:27:17,125 --> 01:27:19,458
-She works with me. Julia.
-Julia?
1815
01:27:19,541 --> 01:27:20,625
-Julia.
-Keep talking.
1816
01:27:20,708 --> 01:27:23,166
-Yeah, she's a very crazy woman.
-Mad lady.
1817
01:27:23,250 --> 01:27:25,125
-Funny.
-Yeah, fantastic.
1818
01:27:25,208 --> 01:27:27,125
-Yeah.
-She sounds incredible. [chuckles]
1819
01:27:28,541 --> 01:27:29,375
Oh.
1820
01:27:30,041 --> 01:27:32,208
-I love your kilt.
-Ooh, careful!
1821
01:27:32,833 --> 01:27:34,750
Buy me dinner first. [chuckles]
1822
01:27:35,333 --> 01:27:36,916
[Cristina] Are you here alone?
1823
01:27:37,000 --> 01:27:38,958
I am here alone, yes.
1824
01:27:40,333 --> 01:27:41,625
Are you here alone?
1825
01:27:41,875 --> 01:27:43,500
Yes, I'm alone.
1826
01:27:43,958 --> 01:27:44,916
Oh.
1827
01:27:45,208 --> 01:27:47,791
[romantic orchestral music playing]
1828
01:27:58,541 --> 01:27:59,625
What time is it?
1829
01:28:00,666 --> 01:28:02,458
Um, I don't know. I don't know.
1830
01:28:02,541 --> 01:28:04,166
[laughs] I don't know, no.
1831
01:28:05,708 --> 01:28:06,750
I don't know.
1832
01:28:06,833 --> 01:28:08,833
-[Rebecca] What, do you live in a box?
-[Bryan] Yeah.
1833
01:28:09,333 --> 01:28:11,791
'Cause it's, like, seedless,
kind of thing.
1834
01:28:13,166 --> 01:28:14,041
Shit.
1835
01:28:14,500 --> 01:28:15,833
Oh, God, I have to go.
1836
01:28:17,500 --> 01:28:19,166
Ciao. All right.
1837
01:28:19,250 --> 01:28:20,875
[indistinct chatter]
1838
01:28:20,958 --> 01:28:21,791
[Dina] Hayley!
1839
01:28:21,958 --> 01:28:23,333
-Hi. Sorry.
-Hey, Dina.
1840
01:28:24,000 --> 01:28:25,958
[Dina] You look so beautiful.
I'm so happy for you.
1841
01:28:26,291 --> 01:28:28,875
I'll call you 'cause I've just got to go
to some work thing.
1842
01:28:28,958 --> 01:28:30,250
-[Hayley] Right now?
-Yeah, sorry.
1843
01:28:30,333 --> 01:28:32,708
[Hayley] I love you, babe. Bye! Bye!
1844
01:28:38,583 --> 01:28:39,458
Dina?
1845
01:28:41,041 --> 01:28:42,666
Oh, look who's woken up.
1846
01:28:45,583 --> 01:28:46,958
Uh, hi.
1847
01:28:47,708 --> 01:28:50,791
Yeah, I am so sorry
about what happened earlier. I...
1848
01:28:52,041 --> 01:28:55,416
Tonight didn't quite turn out
as I'd planned.
1849
01:28:55,500 --> 01:28:56,625
[chuckles] Yeah? Well...
1850
01:28:57,041 --> 01:28:58,708
what in life really turns out as planned?
1851
01:28:59,583 --> 01:29:01,250
Yeah, I suppose. [chuckles]
1852
01:29:01,791 --> 01:29:02,791
-[cell phone buzzes]
-Um...
1853
01:29:03,000 --> 01:29:04,083
[chuckles]
1854
01:29:04,583 --> 01:29:06,000
-Shit.
-So you're going?
1855
01:29:06,083 --> 01:29:07,166
Oh, yeah, I have to.
1856
01:29:07,250 --> 01:29:10,791
I've had, like, 16 missed calls from work,
and I was just too drunk to notice.
1857
01:29:11,416 --> 01:29:12,416
[sighs]
1858
01:29:13,416 --> 01:29:14,291
I, uh...
1859
01:29:14,375 --> 01:29:15,333
Huh?
1860
01:29:15,416 --> 01:29:16,833
[stammers] I was, um...
1861
01:29:17,125 --> 01:29:18,166
I was about to kiss you...
1862
01:29:19,333 --> 01:29:20,166
that night.
1863
01:29:20,625 --> 01:29:21,458
I...
1864
01:29:22,375 --> 01:29:25,083
I just felt that there was something
special between us.
1865
01:29:25,958 --> 01:29:28,125
And, um, I know this seems nuts
1866
01:29:28,208 --> 01:29:31,500
'cause we'd only known each other
a couple of days, but I...
1867
01:29:33,208 --> 01:29:36,041
I've never felt a connection
like that before.
1868
01:29:38,166 --> 01:29:39,125
Or since.
1869
01:29:41,250 --> 01:29:43,750
And I had a feeling you felt the same.
1870
01:29:48,125 --> 01:29:49,083
So I just want to--
1871
01:29:49,166 --> 01:29:51,000
I just need to know, uh...
1872
01:29:51,916 --> 01:29:53,041
if I was imagining it.
1873
01:29:59,375 --> 01:30:00,666
You weren't imagining it.
1874
01:30:02,083 --> 01:30:03,875
I guess we just missed our moment.
1875
01:30:05,375 --> 01:30:06,666
-God.
-Right.
1876
01:30:08,250 --> 01:30:09,083
Right. Uh...
1877
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:10,833
I...
1878
01:30:11,625 --> 01:30:12,458
Yeah.
1879
01:30:20,666 --> 01:30:22,666
[romantic music echoes from inside]
1880
01:30:28,333 --> 01:30:29,166
Right.
1881
01:30:49,833 --> 01:30:51,000
Yeah. Thank you.
1882
01:30:53,083 --> 01:30:53,916
Grazie.
1883
01:30:54,875 --> 01:30:55,875
Hey.
1884
01:30:55,958 --> 01:30:56,833
Hey.
1885
01:30:57,541 --> 01:30:59,666
Oh, so you and Rebecca, eh?
1886
01:30:59,750 --> 01:31:00,791
I mean, I don't...
1887
01:31:01,458 --> 01:31:03,791
I just-- I don't know.
I don't know how that happened.
1888
01:31:06,208 --> 01:31:07,541
Where's the American?
1889
01:31:07,625 --> 01:31:08,750
Ah, she's gone.
1890
01:31:10,791 --> 01:31:11,791
I'm sorry, man.
1891
01:31:13,541 --> 01:31:15,500
Some things just aren't meant to work out.
1892
01:31:15,583 --> 01:31:16,416
True.
1893
01:31:16,791 --> 01:31:18,125
Like me and acting.
1894
01:31:19,666 --> 01:31:20,666
-Really?
-Yeah.
1895
01:31:21,583 --> 01:31:25,083
I've realized that I don't need to act.
I'm fine just being me.
1896
01:31:27,291 --> 01:31:28,625
So that's it. Just...
1897
01:31:28,708 --> 01:31:29,583
That's it.
1898
01:31:30,625 --> 01:31:32,208
Done. No more.
1899
01:31:32,875 --> 01:31:35,041
You've got to change
at some point, don't you?
1900
01:31:35,458 --> 01:31:37,166
-You can't keep--
-[Vitelli] Oh, you're here.
1901
01:31:38,041 --> 01:31:39,125
-Hi.
-Hey.
1902
01:31:40,208 --> 01:31:41,541
I was really moved by your speech.
1903
01:31:42,000 --> 01:31:43,250
-Really?
-Yeah, really.
1904
01:31:43,333 --> 01:31:44,583
[Bryan] Thank you very much.
1905
01:31:45,000 --> 01:31:47,000
-You're Hayley's actor friend?
-Yes, I am.
1906
01:31:47,458 --> 01:31:49,083
I'm doing my new film.
1907
01:31:49,166 --> 01:31:50,416
Why don't you take my card
1908
01:31:50,500 --> 01:31:52,916
and give my assistant a call tomorrow?
1909
01:31:53,000 --> 01:31:54,208
-Yeah.
-We'll have a coffee.
1910
01:31:54,291 --> 01:31:55,875
-Yeah, brilliant. I will.
-Okay.
1911
01:31:55,958 --> 01:31:58,041
-I love coffee.
-See you. Bye. Yeah.
1912
01:31:58,375 --> 01:32:00,041
[laughs] Oh, my God!
1913
01:32:00,125 --> 01:32:03,583
-That was incredible. What just happened?
-I don't know.
1914
01:32:04,125 --> 01:32:06,666
I thought you were quitting acting.
1915
01:32:06,750 --> 01:32:08,916
No, that's bullshit. I'm all about acting.
1916
01:32:09,583 --> 01:32:10,500
[chuckles]
1917
01:32:11,625 --> 01:32:13,333
At least one of us has had some luck.
1918
01:32:13,958 --> 01:32:15,666
What are you talking about?
We're all lucky.
1919
01:32:16,083 --> 01:32:17,166
Are we really?
1920
01:32:20,041 --> 01:32:23,916
Have you ever thought
about how small the chances are
1921
01:32:24,000 --> 01:32:25,166
that you would be born?
1922
01:32:26,541 --> 01:32:28,708
If just one thing in history had changed,
1923
01:32:29,458 --> 01:32:31,750
just one of your millions of ancestors
1924
01:32:31,833 --> 01:32:34,583
hadn't crossed paths
at the exact moment they did,
1925
01:32:35,416 --> 01:32:36,666
then you wouldn't exist.
1926
01:32:39,250 --> 01:32:41,291
You'd never have even lived a single day.
1927
01:32:43,333 --> 01:32:44,625
-Did you just make that up?
-No.
1928
01:32:44,708 --> 01:32:47,625
It's a quote from one of Vitelli's films.
But it's true, though, right?
1929
01:32:47,708 --> 01:32:48,541
Yeah.
1930
01:32:49,291 --> 01:32:51,375
I mean, it's pretty scary,
1931
01:32:52,041 --> 01:32:53,666
but if we're honest with ourselves,
1932
01:32:53,750 --> 01:32:55,416
then it all comes down to chance.
1933
01:32:56,041 --> 01:33:00,000
And I guess life is about grabbing
those chances when they come 'round.
1934
01:33:00,083 --> 01:33:03,083
[romantic string music playing]
1935
01:33:21,250 --> 01:33:23,250
[romantic music swells]
1936
01:33:51,958 --> 01:33:53,416
Can I call you right back?
1937
01:33:53,500 --> 01:33:54,333
Thanks.
1938
01:33:56,750 --> 01:33:58,083
[music fades out]
1939
01:34:03,166 --> 01:34:04,083
[Dina chuckles]
1940
01:34:05,583 --> 01:34:06,416
Hi.
1941
01:34:08,416 --> 01:34:09,250
Hi.
1942
01:34:13,875 --> 01:34:15,250
Just going for run? [chuckles]
1943
01:34:15,333 --> 01:34:17,333
[romantic music playing]
1944
01:34:22,291 --> 01:34:23,291
-Dina?
-[music stops]
1945
01:34:24,416 --> 01:34:25,583
-Hi.
-Oh, my God!
1946
01:34:25,666 --> 01:34:27,541
-Do I know you?
-Do you remember we met at that--
1947
01:34:27,625 --> 01:34:28,625
Fuck off.
1948
01:34:30,958 --> 01:34:32,291
Seriously, fuck off.
1949
01:34:36,375 --> 01:34:37,250
Yeah.
1950
01:34:38,000 --> 01:34:38,916
Okay.
1951
01:34:39,625 --> 01:34:40,666
-Okay.
-[Dina laughs]
1952
01:34:41,583 --> 01:34:43,583
[romantic music resumes]
1953
01:34:53,083 --> 01:34:55,541
["On an Evening in Roma"
by Dean Martin playing]
1954
01:34:59,625 --> 01:35:00,750
Hey, everyone.
1955
01:35:00,875 --> 01:35:03,208
Hang on. You're not supposed
to be sat there, are you?
1956
01:35:03,333 --> 01:35:04,625
I think I am.
1957
01:35:08,375 --> 01:35:11,416
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck was that about?
1958
01:35:13,833 --> 01:35:15,375
He's the most amazing actor
you've ever seen.
1959
01:35:15,458 --> 01:35:17,708
-I don't know about that.
-No, he is. He's brilliant.
1960
01:35:18,250 --> 01:35:19,375
-Yeah.
-Thank you.
1961
01:35:19,458 --> 01:35:20,666
And you'd be, uh...
1962
01:35:20,750 --> 01:35:24,791
You'd be "amoron"
not to put him into one of your movies.
1963
01:35:24,875 --> 01:35:26,708
-Like, an actual fucking moron.
-Calm it down.
1964
01:35:26,791 --> 01:35:28,833
If he was any more obsessed with you,
he'd be a stalker.
1965
01:35:28,916 --> 01:35:30,541
-I'm not a stalker.
-He's not a stalker.
1966
01:35:30,625 --> 01:35:32,583
-I'm a watcher.
-But he's a bit like a crazy fan.
1967
01:35:32,958 --> 01:35:35,458
Expect him in your shower
being like, "I wanna watch your films."
1968
01:35:35,541 --> 01:35:36,791
-No!
-Thank you.
1969
01:35:38,083 --> 01:35:40,041
I'm sorry, sir. Oh, my goodness!
1970
01:35:40,125 --> 01:35:42,666
-It was an accident!
-There you go! Whoa!
1971
01:35:42,750 --> 01:35:45,166
I thought it'd be cold on top of hot!
1972
01:35:48,083 --> 01:35:50,125
I hope he didn't burn his penis.
1973
01:35:53,708 --> 01:35:56,333
-[Jack grunts]
-[Marc yells]
1974
01:35:58,666 --> 01:35:59,791
-Hello.
-Hi.
1975
01:36:09,291 --> 01:36:10,166
-Thanks!
-[woman gasps]
1976
01:36:12,333 --> 01:36:13,791
[Bryan retches loudly]
1977
01:36:13,875 --> 01:36:15,458
Nothing's coming up. It's just air.
1978
01:36:15,541 --> 01:36:17,458
Bryan!
1979
01:36:18,500 --> 01:36:19,416
Oh. [chuckles]
1980
01:36:19,833 --> 01:36:21,875
There's a wolf licking a baby's arsehole!
1981
01:36:22,916 --> 01:36:24,083
I don't like that.
1982
01:36:24,958 --> 01:36:26,916
[Bryan yells incoherently]
1983
01:36:27,458 --> 01:36:29,833
It's formed--
A rash is forming because of the kilt.
1984
01:36:30,041 --> 01:36:31,750
Ah, here he is!
1985
01:36:32,458 --> 01:36:33,541
You cock!
1986
01:36:33,625 --> 01:36:35,166
-Get it out, then.
-Excuse me?
1987
01:36:35,250 --> 01:36:37,666
Look, everyone!
Jack's about to get his dick out!
1988
01:36:37,750 --> 01:36:38,791
Take off your--
1989
01:36:39,208 --> 01:36:41,583
[Chaz yells angrily]
1990
01:36:42,791 --> 01:36:44,625
-What are you doing?!
-[woman screams]
1991
01:36:45,875 --> 01:36:48,625
[Jack yells in pain]
1992
01:36:50,250 --> 01:36:52,541
[in Italian] These British folk are mad!
1993
01:36:52,625 --> 01:36:55,083
♪ But in Rome do as the Romans do ♪
1994
01:36:55,416 --> 01:36:57,208
♪ With you ♪
1995
01:36:57,916 --> 01:37:00,500
♪ On an evening in Roma ♪
1996
01:37:01,166 --> 01:37:03,166
[singing in Italian]
1997
01:37:04,541 --> 01:37:07,708
♪ On an evening in Roma ♪
1998
01:37:12,750 --> 01:37:14,166
[song ends]
1999
01:37:15,041 --> 01:37:17,041
[instrumental score playing]