1
00:01:16,618 --> 00:01:18,609
Jj

2
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:38,026
When I was a kid, in the summer,

3
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:41,904
I would go up into northern Canada
with my father and two brothers fishing.

4
00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:45,245
The one male bonding thing we did.

5
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,074
And the only extravagance
my rather workaholic,

6
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,750
miserly good,
country-boy father could muster.

7
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:57,709
We flew by bush plane, small planes
with pontoons, info a wilderness lake

8
00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:01,170
where we would be met by an old trapper
who lived there year-round.

9
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:05,265
He hadn't been back
to civilization for 20 years,

10
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:09,766
and communicated with the fish camp
organizers on a shortwave radio.

11
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,684
Once we got to his camp,

12
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:16,985
a group of small cabins
nestled around his little house,

13
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:20,860
with the sides stacked head high
with a mountain of dried bones.

14
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:26,282
Behind, there were teepees
with a small group of cree Indians

15
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,240
who would take us out
on the water and be our guides.

16
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:35,713
They had names like Tom pitt,
rod rat, Billy deer.

17
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,754
All toothless, passive, and alcoholic.

18
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,720
However, they were not allowed
liquor while they worked.

19
00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:47,265
Although their eyes always were
an angry, bloodshot red,

20
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,343
so maybe they were sneaking drinks.

21
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,971
They were truly
romantic figures gone to seed.

22
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,349
Anyway, the point.

23
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,943
At this camp, there was a group of huskies

24
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:02,238
that that trapper kept for his dogsled
for work in the winter.

25
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,156
It wasn't until we stopped going

26
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,530
that this guy got rid of them
for a showmobile.

27
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:11,202
These dogs were sweet,
but wild enough to be scary.

28
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:16,294
The biggest manhood challenge
for me at six years old

29
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,793
was running from our cabin
to the outhouse,

30
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:22,502
because the dogs would chase you
and nip at your heels.

31
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,587
While you were in the outhouse,

32
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,172
they would scratch at the door and growl.

33
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:28,803
Horrific.

34
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:31,761
And then, when you were through,

35
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:34,221
you'd race back
to the safety of your cabin

36
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:37,149
hoping the nips wouldn't turn into bites.

37
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:40,976
Okay.

38
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,350
Rum it is.

39
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,232
Good.

40
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,401
They're hungry.

41
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,293
Sugar?

42
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:19,760
Okay.

43
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:54,893
Hey, can I get another one
of these when you get a chance?

44
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,822
- How often you play?
- Never.

45
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,653
- Why?
- I don't need to.

46
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,246
- But you might win.
- I don't wanna win.

47
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,451
Why?

48
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,163
I don't wanna lose.

49
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:22,264
- Oh.
- Okay.

50
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,047
- Come on. Yep.
- Here we go.

51
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,302
Ready...

52
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,229
- There you go. There you go.
- Mm.

53
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,644
- Come on.
- Come on.

54
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,226
- Come on...
- Come on, baby.

55
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,777
Come on.

56
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,721
Jj

57
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,119
Shh.

58
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:58,497
Okay. It's okay.

59
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,696
Good?

60
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:49,033
Mitchell?

61
00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:06,172
Mitchell?

62
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,694
Jj

63
00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:33,544
Jj

64
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,061
I don't understand...

65
00:26:09,234 --> 00:26:12,192
How you can have anything to do
with someone like her.

66
00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:21,785
Just because you don't understand
doesn't mean it cannot be.

67
00:26:23,624 --> 00:26:24,864
But why?

68
00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:28,037
That's the wrong question.

69
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:30,289
The right question is,

70
00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:34,669
"is this the way of the world?"
And the answer is yes.

71
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:38,218
What do you know?
You don't live in the world.

72
00:26:39,473 --> 00:26:42,965
You stuck yourself at the end
of the universe in here.

73
00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:48,180
You can't see your selfishness,
arrogance, and above all, your ignorance.

74
00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:52,141
You pretend to be open to all things

75
00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:55,854
but can't see how closed-minded you are.

76
00:26:57,116 --> 00:27:00,984
Do you actually believe
you'll find your soul here?

77
00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:04,077
My soul is within me.

78
00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:08,453
Wrong again, brother.

79
00:27:08,544 --> 00:27:11,957
Your soul is outside of you,
and you must claim it.

80
00:27:13,340 --> 00:27:14,500
I have.

81
00:27:16,552 --> 00:27:19,134
I began a journey that finished here.

82
00:27:19,221 --> 00:27:21,553
There is no beginning.

83
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:24,256
There is ho end. That's babble.

84
00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:26,342
That's not the language of the soul.

85
00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:32,894
Time will pass,
and you'll continue to be lost.

86
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:36,860
You sound like my father.

87
00:27:36,947 --> 00:27:40,405
You complain that your father
didn't know you.

88
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:44,030
He carried you on his back through life,

89
00:27:44,121 --> 00:27:48,956
and all you can do is criticize
some oversights he committed,

90
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:52,876
while you are guilty
of the biggest crimes.

91
00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:56,748
Really? What crimes were those?

92
00:27:57,968 --> 00:27:59,048
You tell me.

93
00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:04,968
No, instead you'd like to hear it
from my mouth, so you can deny it.

94
00:28:06,059 --> 00:28:10,018
That's the same cowardly game
you played with your father.

95
00:28:11,023 --> 00:28:12,604
I love my father.

96
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:15,307
You were not a loving son.

97
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,730
You were a burden to him.

98
00:28:19,114 --> 00:28:20,729
And now to me.

99
00:28:25,162 --> 00:28:28,154
Jj

100
00:30:28,493 --> 00:30:29,679
When I had been pondering

101
00:30:29,703 --> 00:30:32,866
many different things
to myself for a long time,

102
00:30:33,874 --> 00:30:38,664
and had for many days been seeking
my own self and what my own good was,

103
00:30:38,754 --> 00:30:40,961
and what evil was to be avoided,

104
00:30:41,965 --> 00:30:46,584
there suddenly spoke to me...
What was jt?

105
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:48,839
I myself or someone else?

106
00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:51,672
Inside or outside me?

107
00:30:52,851 --> 00:30:57,345
This is the very thing
I would love to know, but don't.

108
00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:13,868
No.

109
00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,134
Hup.

110
00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:32,300
Okay! Okay!

111
00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,891
Jj

112
00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:51,110
Good dog.

113
00:34:13,635 --> 00:34:15,626
Jj

114
00:35:14,154 --> 00:35:15,735
Whoa!

115
00:37:36,629 --> 00:37:41,248
I just wanted to see the dells.

116
00:37:44,971 --> 00:37:49,806
I just wanted to see the dells.

117
00:37:51,770 --> 00:37:56,104
I just wanted to see the dells.

118
00:38:00,570 --> 00:38:05,655
I just wanted to see the dells.

119
00:38:08,411 --> 00:38:13,701
I just wanted to see the dells.

120
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:20,788
I just wanted to see the dells.

121
00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:30,221
I'm waiting for the doctor.

122
00:38:32,435 --> 00:38:34,801
I'm waiting for the doctor.

123
00:38:35,897 --> 00:38:38,229
I'm waiting for the doctor.

124
00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:42,650
I'm waiting for the doctor.

125
00:38:42,737 --> 00:38:46,275
I'm waiting for the doctor.

126
00:38:48,409 --> 00:38:50,525
Where is the doctor?

127
00:38:51,538 --> 00:38:53,244
Where is the doctor?

128
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:59,955
Teach me... how to die.

129
00:39:01,464 --> 00:39:05,252
Teach me... how to die.

130
00:39:06,386 --> 00:39:08,217
Where is the doctor?

131
00:39:08,304 --> 00:39:14,807
Where is the doctor?
Where is the doctor?

132
00:39:14,894 --> 00:39:16,009
Where is the doctor?

133
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,262
Where is the doctor?

134
00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:21,723
The doctor where is...

135
00:39:21,818 --> 00:39:23,558
Where is the doctor?

136
00:39:24,821 --> 00:39:26,186
The doctor...

137
00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:29,239
Where is the doctor?
Where is the doctor?

138
00:39:29,325 --> 00:39:33,534
- Teach me... how to die.
- Where is the doctor?

139
00:39:34,539 --> 00:39:36,279
Where is the doctor?

140
00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:37,989
The doctor...

141
00:40:13,995 --> 00:40:15,531
I'm glad you're here.

142
00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:18,950
Dad?

143
00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:23,497
I just gotta get some gear.

144
00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:26,211
What gear?

145
00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:31,383
I promised you I'd take you fishing.

146
00:40:31,471 --> 00:40:34,304
Just gotta go get the boat
out of the garage,

147
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:36,255
and hitch it up to the buick,

148
00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:40,469
and head out at the crack of dawn
to old partridge lake.

149
00:40:40,563 --> 00:40:44,181
That'd be a heck of a lot more fun
than sitting around watching TV.

150
00:40:46,152 --> 00:40:50,566
But, dad, don't you remember
what the doctor said?

151
00:40:52,158 --> 00:40:53,364
What did he say?

152
00:40:55,244 --> 00:40:56,484
He said you're dead.

153
00:40:58,539 --> 00:40:59,870
Don't listen to him.

154
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:06,248
Tell me again, what grade you in?

155
00:41:09,509 --> 00:41:13,172
Ah, never mind. We're going fishing.

156
00:41:13,262 --> 00:41:17,346
We'll get to fremont
before the sun comes up.

157
00:41:17,433 --> 00:41:22,427
I'll lower the alumacraft in the water,
fill it up with gear,

158
00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:28,024
poles... tackle boxes,

159
00:41:28,111 --> 00:41:29,726
life preservers,

160
00:41:29,821 --> 00:41:34,906
an ice chest full of cheese and bologna
sandwiches, potato chips...

161
00:41:36,077 --> 00:41:37,077
Cookies.

162
00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:42,663
A large thermos
of ice cold Hawaiian punch.

163
00:41:45,753 --> 00:41:52,215
And ['ll take the Johnson 20-horse
outboard,

164
00:41:52,301 --> 00:41:54,007
put it in the water,

165
00:41:54,095 --> 00:41:56,711
and pull on the starter cord.

166
00:42:06,315 --> 00:42:08,431
I'll let you drive

167
00:42:08,526 --> 00:42:12,485
till we get to where I think the fish are,

168
00:42:12,572 --> 00:42:15,439
where there's tree stumps and tall reeds

169
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:17,819
and half submerged rocks.

170
00:42:17,910 --> 00:42:20,697
That's their cover, that's where they are.

171
00:42:20,788 --> 00:42:25,282
I'll hit the kill switch on the motor.

172
00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:27,992
And we'll drift it
so we don't spook the fish.

173
00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:30,666
It's so quiet.

174
00:42:33,134 --> 00:42:36,843
I'll put on my lucky mouse lure.

175
00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:38,920
A lazy lke for you.

176
00:42:39,015 --> 00:42:44,601
And for your brother, a dardevle spoon
with a pork rind skirt.

177
00:42:44,687 --> 00:42:49,272
In the stillness you can hear
the distant calls...

178
00:42:50,276 --> 00:42:51,812
Of the loons.

179
00:43:07,085 --> 00:43:10,043
Sounds like a woman being strangled.

180
00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:19,858
I see a spot.

181
00:44:19,949 --> 00:44:24,409
I cast my plug right there,
right between the Lily pads.

182
00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:27,786
I let it sit...

183
00:44:29,584 --> 00:44:32,417
Then I play the lure. Make it dance.

184
00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:37,289
Make it look like something he wants,
something he's hungry for,

185
00:44:37,383 --> 00:44:38,463
then, bang!

186
00:44:40,511 --> 00:44:43,173
And then you set the hook, reel him in.

187
00:50:33,322 --> 00:50:34,482
Dad...

188
00:50:40,746 --> 00:50:41,746
Scalpel.

189
00:51:01,475 --> 00:51:06,640
Respect the presence of sleep.

190
00:51:07,648 --> 00:51:09,263
That is the first thing.

191
00:51:09,358 --> 00:51:12,896
And keep away
from those who sleep badly...

192
00:51:14,196 --> 00:51:16,983
Or stay awake all night.

193
00:51:18,075 --> 00:51:23,786
Modest is even the thief
in the presence of sleep.

194
00:51:23,872 --> 00:51:27,205
He walks slowly through the night.

195
00:51:28,294 --> 00:51:31,411
Immodest is the night watcher

196
00:51:31,505 --> 00:51:33,712
with carrying his light and horn.

197
00:51:37,303 --> 00:51:40,170
No small art is it to sleep.

198
00:51:41,515 --> 00:51:46,179
That's why we must keep awake all day.

199
00:51:47,688 --> 00:51:51,556
Ten truths have to be found
during the day,

200
00:51:51,650 --> 00:51:54,938
otherwise your soul will be hungry

201
00:51:55,029 --> 00:51:58,442
and search the truth at night.

202
00:51:58,532 --> 00:52:02,741
Ten times we must laugh during the day

203
00:52:02,828 --> 00:52:04,534
and be cheerful.

204
00:52:04,622 --> 00:52:07,409
Otherwise your stomach,
the father of affliction,

205
00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:09,706
will disturb you at night.

206
00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:16,623
Jj

207
00:53:50,728 --> 00:53:52,059
Friend.

208
00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:57,560
How are you?

209
00:53:58,861 --> 00:54:00,226
I'm fine.

210
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,187
Who are you? What are you doing here?

211
00:54:03,282 --> 00:54:05,819
I'm interested in the black arts.

212
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:08,195
They say you're a great magician.

213
00:54:11,415 --> 00:54:14,657
- Really?
- What can you tell me?

214
00:54:14,752 --> 00:54:16,868
That there is nothing to tell.

215
00:54:18,839 --> 00:54:23,333
I'm not here to steal from you.
I'm here to learn.

216
00:54:24,803 --> 00:54:26,668
I came from a long way.

217
00:54:29,933 --> 00:54:32,049
Why did you come to see me?

218
00:54:34,730 --> 00:54:39,645
Because you have heard that I have once
helped people that were sick or abandoned,

219
00:54:39,735 --> 00:54:42,317
- is that it?
- How did you do it?

220
00:54:43,322 --> 00:54:44,687
With compassion.

221
00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:49,737
Just like that?
I thought it would be more difficult.

222
00:54:51,914 --> 00:54:56,874
Tell me, professor,
what do you make of the black arts?

223
00:54:57,961 --> 00:55:02,295
It's an act of vanity
beneath nature, beneath science.

224
00:55:04,635 --> 00:55:07,593
You've arrived at this through reason.

225
00:55:08,764 --> 00:55:10,300
That is your problem.

226
00:55:14,895 --> 00:55:16,476
Don't criticize me.

227
00:55:16,563 --> 00:55:19,521
You make me laugh.

228
00:55:20,526 --> 00:55:24,690
What is funny about you
is that your reason does not stop you.

229
00:55:25,948 --> 00:55:30,032
The secrets you want to know
are the negative of all knowledge.

230
00:55:30,118 --> 00:55:33,531
Your reason is an obstacle.

231
00:55:46,552 --> 00:55:48,964
It's impossible to live without reason.

232
00:56:35,392 --> 00:56:37,257
What do you want with me now?

233
00:56:40,439 --> 00:56:43,772
Haven't you caused everyone enough pain?

234
00:56:43,859 --> 00:56:45,895
As much as you cost me.

235
00:56:50,866 --> 00:56:52,322
I'm so angry.

236
00:56:56,371 --> 00:56:59,704
I'm so... angry.

237
00:57:03,045 --> 00:57:06,879
- You know I thought about getting a gun.
- To kill me?

238
00:57:08,300 --> 00:57:10,040
But no one would give me one.

239
00:57:11,553 --> 00:57:13,168
You didn't try hard enough.

240
00:57:14,348 --> 00:57:16,213
No one would help me find one.

241
00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:19,721
No, you didn't try hard enough
to understand what I did.

242
00:57:21,647 --> 00:57:24,480
I guess they were afraid
I'd use it on myself.

243
00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:27,519
You wouldn't do that.

244
00:57:33,951 --> 00:57:35,987
Why did you humiliate me?

245
00:57:38,413 --> 00:57:39,949
You didn't take care.

246
00:57:41,416 --> 00:57:45,659
You stopped paying attention,
you made room for bad things to happen.

247
00:57:47,589 --> 00:57:49,625
My therapist says you're selfish.

248
00:57:49,716 --> 00:57:51,957
You need a new therapist.

249
00:57:57,808 --> 00:58:01,642
- You destroyed my life.
- We destroyed our life.

250
00:58:03,355 --> 00:58:05,471
We became coarse with each other.

251
00:58:07,943 --> 00:58:10,480
Guilt isn't something to be shared.

252
00:58:12,072 --> 00:58:15,815
The only thing I'm guilty of
is loving you too much.

253
00:58:18,704 --> 00:58:20,319
Tell that to your son.

254
00:58:23,375 --> 00:58:24,535
Is he here?

255
00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:56,864
You know, the only thing I'm guilty of
is loving you too much.

256
00:58:56,950 --> 00:58:58,235
You know that, right?

257
00:59:42,079 --> 00:59:43,319
Hey.

258
01:00:48,478 --> 01:00:51,470
Jj

259
01:01:05,704 --> 01:01:07,695
Jj

260
01:02:40,632 --> 01:02:44,750
Clint, you look so tired.

261
01:02:46,388 --> 01:02:49,095
I walked all the way home.

262
01:02:49,182 --> 01:02:52,845
Yeah, all the way from the school.

263
01:02:52,936 --> 01:02:54,927
Yes, I waited for you.

264
01:02:55,021 --> 01:02:57,103
I would have picked you up.

265
01:02:57,190 --> 01:02:59,226
- No.
- Oh, yes.

266
01:02:59,317 --> 01:03:03,185
- No, that's what you always say.
- I would have come.

267
01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:06,488
I wait, and I wait, and I wait,
and you never come.

268
01:03:06,574 --> 01:03:10,908
I come. I would have come.

269
01:03:10,996 --> 01:03:11,996
Mm.

270
01:03:13,581 --> 01:03:15,117
Clint...

271
01:03:20,380 --> 01:03:22,962
Mom, I'm sorry.

272
01:03:23,967 --> 01:03:25,207
For what?

273
01:03:27,137 --> 01:03:29,219
That I wasn't there at the end.

274
01:03:30,307 --> 01:03:34,425
It's all right, you were busy.

275
01:03:40,900 --> 01:03:43,733
You're all...

276
01:03:43,820 --> 01:03:49,736
Equal in-in attention to the family

277
01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:52,738
and that's really wonderful,

278
01:03:52,829 --> 01:03:55,571
'cause you might get one that's lazy

279
01:03:55,665 --> 01:03:58,372
and doesn't want to get up and go and...

280
01:03:58,460 --> 01:04:00,826
Well... we could...

281
01:04:02,756 --> 01:04:04,963
This is... listen, you're gonna age.

282
01:04:05,050 --> 01:04:09,840
And then I thought, "oh, that's...
No, we shouldn't do that."

283
01:04:09,929 --> 01:04:12,386
And right about that time...

284
01:04:13,391 --> 01:04:15,256
I think that was...

285
01:04:50,845 --> 01:04:53,962
Hey, get off the horse.

286
01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:42,449
Who are you?

287
01:06:43,917 --> 01:06:45,407
Who am I?

288
01:06:46,419 --> 01:06:47,625
It doesn't matter.

289
01:06:49,214 --> 01:06:51,796
You don't need to know
who I am to talk to me.

290
01:06:55,845 --> 01:07:00,054
You seem to be a disciple
of the black arts,

291
01:07:00,141 --> 01:07:03,554
3 student of heretics and non-believers.

292
01:07:06,898 --> 01:07:11,267
Don't tell me who I am when you're
struggling to know who you are.

293
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:15,861
What are you hiding?

294
01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:22,698
You are Sincere, well-meaning.

295
01:07:23,998 --> 01:07:26,330
Do you think that makes you a Saint?

296
01:07:29,337 --> 01:07:32,579
I believe in right and wrong,
but I am no Saint.

297
01:07:36,219 --> 01:07:40,633
Okay, don't be so hard on yourself or me.

298
01:07:40,723 --> 01:07:44,841
You are not a Saint, so be human.

299
01:07:46,479 --> 01:07:49,471
Enjoy, fuck up...

300
01:07:50,692 --> 01:07:54,685
Shake your ass, dance.

301
01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:24,566
Jj

302
01:10:20,216 --> 01:10:22,207
Jj

303
01:11:00,214 --> 01:11:02,045
Whoa!

304
01:15:26,063 --> 01:15:27,928
Whoa!

305
01:15:29,400 --> 01:15:31,061
Whoa!

306
01:21:45,901 --> 01:21:47,892
Jj