1
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‪NETFLIX 出品

2
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‪（梅麗莎：在吧台，黑髮
‪藍色裙子，很心急想見到你）

3
00:00:27,291 --> 00:00:31,375
‪（無腦的大塊頭
‪一直在撩我，請救我）

4
00:00:31,458 --> 00:00:35,708
‪（趕快！他剛說我長得像他的姊姊
‪正合他意…）

5
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:41,625
‪天哪…

6
00:00:51,041 --> 00:00:52,333
‪不好意思，嗨

7
00:00:53,125 --> 00:00:55,375
‪哇！我沒料到…

8
00:00:56,083 --> 00:00:57,833
‪對不起，我是提姆，幸會

9
00:00:58,541 --> 00:01:00,750
‪對不起，我現在要帶走她

10
00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:01,791
‪妳很美

11
00:01:01,875 --> 00:01:04,250
‪好消息是我們的桌子已準備好
‪我們可以…

12
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‪老兄，你到底在搞什麼鬼？
‪她是跟我一起的

13
00:01:07,625 --> 00:01:10,500
‪先生，我感謝你陪著她
‪但她其實不是跟你約會

14
00:01:10,583 --> 00:01:11,416
‪她是跟我約會

15
00:01:12,416 --> 00:01:14,458
‪相信我，你不希望我當場發飆

16
00:01:20,583 --> 00:01:21,708
‪你要當場發飆嗎？

17
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,333
‪我大概會

18
00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:26,958
‪叫經理來，我一定

19
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‪不

20
00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:30,458
‪我不知道你嗑了什麼藥

21
00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:32,083
‪但你最好離我的老婆遠點

22
00:01:32,375 --> 00:01:34,041
‪不然我要在你的臉上打出一個洞

23
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,375
‪-你的…
‪-提摩西？

24
00:01:36,875 --> 00:01:37,708
‪是你嗎？

25
00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:42,000
‪噢，是我不好，我坐在吧台的另一端

26
00:01:42,875 --> 00:01:44,041
‪我是他約會的對象

27
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:45,875
‪梅麗莎？

28
00:01:45,958 --> 00:01:47,041
‪人人都叫我小妹

29
00:01:47,125 --> 00:01:50,250
‪抱歉搞錯了人
‪這只是小小的相親失誤

30
00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:52,458
‪你們想不到會搞錯了吧？

31
00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:54,250
‪好吧，我們走

32
00:01:56,041 --> 00:01:57,333
‪我整到你了！

33
00:01:57,916 --> 00:02:00,666
‪等等，妳是故意的？為什麼？

34
00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:02,833
‪跟相親對象最佳的破冰方法！

35
00:02:02,916 --> 00:02:05,750
‪破冰方法？
‪那傢伙幾乎打破我身體每塊骨頭

36
00:02:05,833 --> 00:02:08,166
‪這方法不是奏效嗎？
‪我們心情放鬆了，在哈哈大笑

37
00:02:08,250 --> 00:02:09,083
‪我們樂呵呵的

38
00:02:09,166 --> 00:02:11,416
‪天啊，太好笑了

39
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:13,916
‪你知道最了不起的是什麼？
‪你通過了考驗

40
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:15,541
‪什麼考驗？

41
00:02:15,625 --> 00:02:18,958
‪男子氣概考驗
‪你剛才展現出真正的男子氣概

42
00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:21,625
‪寶貝，我很欣賞你，很帥，真棒

43
00:02:22,166 --> 00:02:25,125
‪對了，年齡對我不是問題
‪你年紀多大？65歲？

44
00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:26,208
‪他媽的說什麼？

45
00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:28,375
‪我知道這是金色的假髮，我不在乎

46
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:29,750
‪提摩西？

47
00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:33,333
‪我想把第一印象玫瑰花送給你

48
00:02:34,500 --> 00:02:35,375
‪是你應得的

49
00:02:36,333 --> 00:02:38,500
‪-跟《鑽石求千金》一樣
‪-我明白了

50
00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:40,291
‪嗨，要先點什麼嗎？

51
00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:43,916
‪好，先來兩杯龍舌蘭酒
‪麻煩妳，小姐

52
00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:46,333
‪我其實不喝酒

53
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,458
‪我要一杯蘇打水好了

54
00:02:48,541 --> 00:02:49,458
‪你們有什麼也可以

55
00:02:50,166 --> 00:02:52,041
‪什麼？好吧

56
00:02:52,375 --> 00:02:55,041
‪第一個缺點，完美先生並不完美

57
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:56,083
‪但我們會治好他

58
00:02:58,083 --> 00:02:59,083
‪我只是在開玩笑，別擔心

59
00:02:59,166 --> 00:03:01,208
‪我是合格的物質濫用輔導員

60
00:03:01,291 --> 00:03:03,208
‪我懂得如何處理酗酒者

61
00:03:03,291 --> 00:03:04,875
‪我不是酗酒者

62
00:03:05,291 --> 00:03:06,708
‪-有幾次酒後駕車嗎？
‪-沒有！

63
00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:08,291
‪“我不是酗酒者，長官，我發誓”

64
00:03:08,583 --> 00:03:09,875
‪-從來沒有
‪-你很易醉？

65
00:03:09,958 --> 00:03:11,791
‪-不
‪-你曾經在朋友的沙發上尿尿？

66
00:03:12,041 --> 00:03:13,958
‪-沒有
‪-你曾在卡車休息站做愛？

67
00:03:14,416 --> 00:03:16,916
‪沒有，我只是不喝酒，沒什麼奇怪

68
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,125
‪是這樣的，不喝酒的人總有個故事

69
00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:21,916
‪我沒有故事，抱歉讓妳失望了

70
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:22,958
‪你沒有讓我失望

71
00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:24,958
‪你做什麼也不會讓我失望，我愛你

72
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:27,833
‪哇

73
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,250
‪這事…我們…感覺像命中注定，對吧？

74
00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:33,625
‪再說一次，妳怎樣認識我奶奶？

75
00:03:33,708 --> 00:03:35,458
‪捷飛絡，對

76
00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,625
‪她說： “我的孫兒跟妳天生一對”

77
00:03:37,708 --> 00:03:39,458
‪我說： “我要報名！”就是這樣

78
00:03:39,541 --> 00:03:42,250
‪我要多探望她，或許要悶死她

79
00:03:42,333 --> 00:03:44,250
‪-妳…妳的頭髮…
‪-噢，是嗎？

80
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:45,416
‪-妳頭髮沾到…
‪-是嗎？

81
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:47,500
‪妳需要餐巾嗎？

82
00:03:49,208 --> 00:03:50,458
‪我覺得這不衛生

83
00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:52,000
‪好吧

84
00:03:53,375 --> 00:03:55,500
‪我希望沒有
‪在我們首次約會嚇壞你，我…

85
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:57,541
‪我要告訴妳，我很可能從沒有…

86
00:03:57,625 --> 00:04:00,625
‪-別視姦我！
‪-我沒有，我只是在跟妳說話

87
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:04,958
‪我有男伴！
‪我們想在這好好共進浪漫晚餐！

88
00:04:05,041 --> 00:04:08,541
‪妳以為我們想怎麼？
‪等你們兩個混蛋打斷我們聊天嗎？

89
00:04:08,625 --> 00:04:11,583
‪-喂，我的男友要踢你他媽的屁股！
‪-才不是

90
00:04:11,791 --> 00:04:14,041
‪-我急著要上洗手間，一會兒回來
‪-好的

91
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,083
‪他一回來便會踢你的屁股

92
00:04:25,083 --> 00:04:26,000
‪該死

93
00:04:27,708 --> 00:04:28,708
‪提姆？

94
00:04:30,958 --> 00:04:32,416
‪-該死！
‪-你幹嘛？

95
00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:34,333
‪嘿，是妳

96
00:04:35,666 --> 00:04:37,833
‪很好，我…被妳發現了

97
00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:40,291
‪我打算爬出窗外溜走

98
00:04:40,375 --> 00:04:42,375
‪然後回到餐廳，並悄悄接近妳

99
00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:50,250
‪天啊，我們一起很好玩

100
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:51,541
‪是嗎？

101
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:55,000
‪但是我們必須馬上離開餐廳

102
00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:58,000
‪為什麼？怎麼回事？

103
00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:01,375
‪你去廁所的時候
‪水行俠又再大發議論

104
00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:03,791
‪所以我展露給他看

105
00:05:04,083 --> 00:05:06,291
‪妳向他露出胸部？

106
00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:08,458
‪我沒有向他露出胸部

107
00:05:08,541 --> 00:05:09,541
‪我展露了我的小妹妹

108
00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:12,083
‪-妳的私處？
‪-不是

109
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:15,375
‪我的朋友，我的守護者
‪我的小妹妹席拉

110
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,875
‪天啊，妳搞什麼，妳是鱷魚先生嗎？

111
00:05:17,958 --> 00:05:20,750
‪什麼？這是相親
‪如果你是變態狂怎麼辦？

112
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,375
‪那我就可以砍你的頭

113
00:05:22,916 --> 00:05:24,916
‪不管怎樣
‪妳可以讓我在這裡幾分鐘嗎？

114
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,541
‪你的確要去廁所

115
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:27,958
‪-是
‪-好，我懂了

116
00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,791
‪我大便時，我不想別人跟我說話

117
00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:33,208
‪-你好好拉吧，好朋友
‪-謝謝

118
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:35,333
‪或許我也拉個屎

119
00:05:36,291 --> 00:05:37,208
‪沒必要

120
00:05:37,875 --> 00:05:40,500
‪很難說，我擠一下，一會兒見

121
00:05:55,458 --> 00:05:57,916
‪我來了，提姆！我來了！

122
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:01,208
‪我肯定你現在希望
‪你喝了那龍舌蘭酒，提姆？

123
00:06:01,541 --> 00:06:03,791
‪好，我要盡快把這隻腳接回去

124
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,333
‪-不！
‪-是的，別擔心，我是合格的救護員

125
00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:07,625
‪-不要，妳不是！
‪-一

126
00:06:07,708 --> 00:06:08,625
‪-不要！
‪-二

127
00:06:08,958 --> 00:06:09,791
‪三！

128
00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:12,458
‪四！

129
00:06:20,583 --> 00:06:22,958
{\an8}‪（三個月後）

130
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:27,375
‪-耶
‪-嘿，小子

131
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,500
‪好的，一個好消息，一個壞消息

132
00:06:29,625 --> 00:06:33,583
‪公司合併的第一個受害者
‪漢恩拉罕被炒了

133
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:35,208
‪這是好消息還是壞消息？

134
00:06:35,416 --> 00:06:37,333
‪好，所以這是一個好消息
‪和一個好消息

135
00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:39,916
‪因為你在頂替他的最後名單上

136
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,291
‪我說最後
‪是因為你很矮，老是排在最後

137
00:06:43,541 --> 00:06:44,375
‪只是開玩笑

138
00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:47,375
‪啊，該死！我記起壞消息了

139
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,791
‪只剩下你和"梭魚"了

140
00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:51,458
‪媽的，你從哪裡聽到？

141
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,916
‪我是人力資源部主管，我有方法知道

142
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,333
‪你不知道嗎？

143
00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,250
‪我很高興你去看心理醫生，太好了

144
00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:00,500
‪你不想別人看見你的事
‪就用私人電郵吧

145
00:07:01,083 --> 00:07:04,291
‪啊，媽的，所以是好消息
‪壞消息，和更多壞消息

146
00:07:04,416 --> 00:07:06,708
‪你的前未婚妻會出席退修

147
00:07:06,958 --> 00:07:09,958
‪我部門訂行程的
‪茱莉亞會跟里奇一起去

148
00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:13,708
‪嗯，據我所知
‪歡迎所有配偶和另一半出席

149
00:07:13,791 --> 00:07:16,375
‪所以我不會感到驚訝

150
00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:18,833
‪提姆，我只是擔心

151
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,541
‪你擔心什麼？我要走了

152
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,833
‪我擔心這個，看看你的螢幕保護程式

153
00:07:23,916 --> 00:07:26,416
‪是你的前未婚妻，太荒唐了，提姆

154
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:28,500
‪你為什麼一星期七天
‪都向外送平台訂餐？

155
00:07:28,583 --> 00:07:29,500
‪因為我肚子餓

156
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:33,458
‪你昨晚真的看了七集《婚外情事》？

157
00:07:33,875 --> 00:07:36,791
‪那是我的私人電腦
‪搞什麼鬼，你什麼也監視嗎？

158
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:40,833
‪你的個人帳戶
‪不要用跟公司帳戶相同的密碼

159
00:07:41,291 --> 00:07:42,708
‪是你自己的問題

160
00:07:42,791 --> 00:07:46,791
‪老兄，拜託
‪你跟那瘋婆子約會已是三個月前的事

161
00:07:46,875 --> 00:07:49,416
‪那只是一次約會，脫下健行靴

162
00:07:49,958 --> 00:07:51,208
‪穿上跑步鞋

163
00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:52,750
‪奔向陰道

164
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:54,750
‪我不要再經歷那些爛事

165
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:57,583
‪那女孩去死吧
‪我奶奶去死吧，你去死吧

166
00:07:57,666 --> 00:07:58,958
‪-我去紐瓦克了
‪-什麼？

167
00:07:59,041 --> 00:08:02,083
‪如果我的真命天女真的存在
‪她會找到我，我就在她不遠處

168
00:08:03,541 --> 00:08:05,500
‪這是《婚外情事》的對白嗎？

169
00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:06,458
‪是，沒錯

170
00:08:22,958 --> 00:08:24,291
‪該死

171
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:26,541
‪對不起

172
00:08:27,291 --> 00:08:28,125
‪沒關係

173
00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:29,958
‪-給妳
‪-好

174
00:08:35,625 --> 00:08:37,125
‪天啊

175
00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:40,791
‪媽的

176
00:08:43,083 --> 00:08:43,916
‪嘿

177
00:08:45,041 --> 00:08:45,875
‪給你

178
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,666
‪抱歉，先生，你好像拿錯了機票

179
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:52,583
‪什麼？

180
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:55,666
‪（梅麗莎多赫蒂）

181
00:08:55,958 --> 00:08:57,125
‪該死！

182
00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:58,833
‪不好意思，對不起

183
00:08:59,833 --> 00:09:00,916
‪對不起

184
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:02,708
‪該死

185
00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:08,458
‪不要，來了，我來了

186
00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:11,041
‪啊，你這該死的蠢蛋

187
00:09:11,666 --> 00:09:12,500
‪提摩西？

188
00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:17,000
‪梅麗莎多赫蒂

189
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,750
‪我喜歡妳選手提包的品味

190
00:09:23,083 --> 00:09:25,791
‪可能我們相撞時我撞到頭
‪因為我很混亂

191
00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:28,333
‪好，我知道我們拿了對方的手提行李

192
00:09:28,416 --> 00:09:31,333
‪但我的書怎麼會在你的包包裡？

193
00:09:32,958 --> 00:09:33,916
‪慢著，這本嗎？

194
00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:35,541
‪不，這是我的書

195
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:40,125
‪-這是我的書
‪-不是吧

196
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:41,708
‪哇

197
00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:42,958
‪什麼？

198
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,375
‪你們想喝什麼嗎？

199
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:45,791
‪妳知道嗎？讓我請妳喝一杯

200
00:09:45,875 --> 00:09:48,125
‪我害妳錯過航班
‪我最起碼要這樣做以表歉意

201
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:49,666
‪其實我不喝酒

202
00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:51,583
‪我要一杯青檸蘇打水就好

203
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:55,500
‪妳不喝酒？
‪我要同樣的飲料，我也不喝酒

204
00:09:55,583 --> 00:09:57,916
‪我希望你這樣說不是想讓我舒服一點

205
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,500
‪因為我完全沒關係，你想喝…

206
00:09:59,583 --> 00:10:01,000
‪沒有，我發誓，我不喝酒

207
00:10:01,583 --> 00:10:02,541
‪是只有我

208
00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:06,375
‪還是所有人
‪都不假思索地把你當成大酒鬼

209
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:09,250
‪百分百，所有人！

210
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:10,166
‪所有人！

211
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,250
‪-不，他們都很棒
‪-很妙

212
00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:13,916
‪這些樂團我都喜歡

213
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,666
‪對了，我本要看菲爾柯林斯的演唱會

214
00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:17,625
‪我愛死他

215
00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:22,250
‪我朋友說服我去看虛擬實境演唱會
‪真是蠢透

216
00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:24,500
‪而不去看一流的現場表演

217
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:27,541
‪我看了虛擬實境演唱會
‪我不再跟他說話，根本是兩回事

218
00:10:27,833 --> 00:10:30,291
‪-我很同意，那些東西糟透了
‪-可怕極了，對

219
00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:32,958
‪聽完演唱會
‪我要耳聾一星期才會開心

220
00:10:33,041 --> 00:10:34,208
‪-正是如此
‪-對

221
00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:38,333
‪我要說，這是我很久以來

222
00:10:38,416 --> 00:10:40,875
‪跟男士共度的最美好時光

223
00:10:40,958 --> 00:10:43,250
‪這也是我很久以來
‪跟女孩共度的最美好時光

224
00:10:43,666 --> 00:10:44,666
‪不過這正常不過

225
00:10:44,958 --> 00:10:46,666
‪目前跟我有最親密關係的人

226
00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:49,458
‪是外送平台的送餐員，真是丟臉

227
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:50,708
‪他人很好

228
00:10:50,791 --> 00:10:53,083
‪他讓我踏出舒適區

229
00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:54,750
‪我邀請他看《婚外情事》

230
00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:56,541
‪動機很純粹，因為它很好看

231
00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:59,375
‪然後他說：“我要去送餐”

232
00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:00,916
‪他真的很奇怪

233
00:11:01,125 --> 00:11:02,166
‪《婚外情事》？

234
00:11:02,375 --> 00:11:04,666
‪對，我想妳會喜歡看

235
00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,166
‪我聽過它的好評，我只是…

236
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:08,833
‪它有點觸及痛處

237
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:11,833
‪我的丈夫有婚外情

238
00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:12,958
‪不…

239
00:11:13,250 --> 00:11:15,541
‪我想我應該說前夫

240
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:20,125
‪我也因同樣的原因，有一個前未婚妻

241
00:11:27,291 --> 00:11:28,125
‪該死

242
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:31,208
‪這主意很糟嗎？

243
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,791
‪不！一點也不糟

244
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:38,416
‪這是飛往亞特蘭大
‪452號班機的最後登機廣播

245
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,125
‪該死，那是我，我一定要走

246
00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:42,583
‪我早上有個會議，我不能錯過這班機

247
00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:43,500
‪-當然
‪-好

248
00:11:43,583 --> 00:11:46,541
‪-等等，我可以要妳的電話號碼嗎？
‪-你的號碼是多少？

249
00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:51,333
‪-我的號碼，是503-555-0131
‪-是的

250
00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:53,875
‪-我發我的號碼給你
‪-好

251
00:11:54,791 --> 00:11:56,625
‪-再見
‪-待續

252
00:11:56,708 --> 00:11:58,208
‪-是的，一定
‪-好

253
00:11:58,583 --> 00:12:00,541
‪等等！該死，妳又拿錯包包了

254
00:12:02,541 --> 00:12:03,500
‪-好
‪-再見

255
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:07,583
‪該死

256
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:09,875
‪天啊

257
00:12:16,708 --> 00:12:18,916
‪（我是梅麗莎）

258
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:19,958
‪棒！

259
00:12:44,458 --> 00:12:49,333
‪（我是提姆，雖然我不是很高
‪但很高興認識妳！）

260
00:12:50,083 --> 00:12:51,083
‪真蠢

261
00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:56,333
‪（嘿，不知道妳記不記得我…）

262
00:12:56,416 --> 00:13:00,583
‪（我們今天曾在機場的
‪清潔用品儲藏室共享浪漫一刻）

263
00:13:00,666 --> 00:13:01,500
‪該死

264
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:09,083
‪“我知道我們才剛認識沒多久

265
00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:11,291
‪但首次約會棒極了

266
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:17,041
‪我嘗試忍著不發簡訊給妳
‪但我沒法子不想妳”

267
00:13:25,958 --> 00:13:28,250
‪（嘿，肌肉男！你怎麼這麼久）

268
00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:31,250
‪媽的，棒！

269
00:13:31,625 --> 00:13:32,791
‪現在稍等一下

270
00:13:33,791 --> 00:13:36,583
‪熊翻垃圾已成為常態…

271
00:13:41,916 --> 00:13:46,166
‪（梅麗莎：你在哪？）

272
00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:50,041
‪"在床上"，乏味的回答？

273
00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:55,416
‪（我也是，你穿什麼？）

274
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:57,875
‪再發一個，"睡衣"

275
00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:02,291
‪（我想看那話兒）

276
00:14:05,041 --> 00:14:05,875
‪什麼？

277
00:14:06,958 --> 00:14:09,416
‪（快點，給我看你的
‪然後我給你看我的）

278
00:14:10,375 --> 00:14:11,958
‪香腸照嗎？

279
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:17,416
‪天啊，這是大家都做的事

280
00:14:20,958 --> 00:14:23,291
‪好，我要順從一下，拍吧

281
00:14:30,791 --> 00:14:31,833
‪天啊

282
00:14:32,916 --> 00:14:35,583
‪老兄，我以為你是胡說八道
‪我心想，這沒可能

283
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:38,333
‪然後你開始不斷發那些香腸照

284
00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:40,916
‪就是香腸…

285
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,291
‪你怎麼…我是說，我已改掉所有密碼

286
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:44,458
‪對，我知道，不過…

287
00:14:44,541 --> 00:14:47,291
‪你母親娘家的姓氏和
‪你社會保障號碼的最後四位數字…

288
00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:49,125
‪好了，是這樣的

289
00:14:50,291 --> 00:14:52,625
‪二十年前，他們開始提供男士脫毛

290
00:14:52,916 --> 00:14:54,541
‪你可以清理小弟弟的毛髮

291
00:14:54,791 --> 00:14:56,875
‪有些女孩喜歡

292
00:14:56,958 --> 00:14:59,208
‪不，她們不喜歡，完全不喜歡

293
00:14:59,625 --> 00:15:01,208
‪我看過你的照片，我心想

294
00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:05,000
‪到底是陰毛從陽具長出來
‪還是陽具從陰毛長出來？

295
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:07,458
‪這就像一個謎團，極大的謎團

296
00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:09,708
‪我想，“我要怎樣解開謎團？”

297
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,041
‪無論如何，我要看這小妞的照片

298
00:15:12,125 --> 00:15:13,875
‪上半身的照片，老兄，快給我看

299
00:15:14,583 --> 00:15:16,666
‪天哪，你是說真嗎？

300
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,416
‪老兄，你的真命天女是馬里蘭州小姐

301
00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:23,000
‪她在喬治城大學以第一名畢業

302
00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:25,541
‪身兼大學兩項運動的校隊成員

303
00:15:25,791 --> 00:15:28,083
‪你們兩個女生又在說梭魚的是非嗎？

304
00:15:28,416 --> 00:15:30,875
‪沒有，但妳離開後我們會說
‪因為妳是個變態

305
00:15:30,958 --> 00:15:33,250
‪好吧，嗯，我升任總裁後

306
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:36,166
‪或許要收緊公司瀏覽色情網站的政策

307
00:15:36,250 --> 00:15:38,458
‪這不是色情網站，她是提姆的女友

308
00:15:38,541 --> 00:15:41,083
‪-提米有女友？
‪-不好意思

309
00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:44,166
‪馬里蘭州小姐，你一定在跟我開玩笑

310
00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:48,041
‪我才沒有開玩笑，她以第一名畢業
‪不像妳是騎在教授身上畢業

311
00:15:48,916 --> 00:15:50,416
‪眼見為實

312
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,416
‪再見了，西格弗里德和呆伊

313
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,500
‪好的，不跟你們廢話了

314
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:56,625
‪-我是西格弗里德
‪-我猜我是呆伊

315
00:15:56,708 --> 00:15:57,750
‪-沒錯
‪-誰管？

316
00:15:57,833 --> 00:15:59,625
‪老兄，不管怎樣，你要帶她去夏威夷

317
00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:01,833
‪我不可以帶她去公司退修

318
00:16:01,916 --> 00:16:05,541
‪有何不可？如果你帶上這樣的美女
‪溫斯頓會發瘋的

319
00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:10,125
‪她很出眾，哪個女人不想離開波特蘭
‪到熱帶地方旅遊？

320
00:16:10,208 --> 00:16:12,750
‪她不會來，我才認識她一星期

321
00:16:12,833 --> 00:16:15,333
‪老兄，不用多想，馬上發簡訊給她

322
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:23,416
‪她答應了！

323
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,125
‪耶！

324
00:16:25,541 --> 00:16:29,333
‪叫她把所有資料發給我的助理
‪我替你們預訂同一班機

325
00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:32,416
‪天啊，阿羅哈，混蛋，我就說嘛！

326
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,333
‪好極了！

327
00:16:33,708 --> 00:16:35,875
‪我贏了！

328
00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:57,875
‪嘿，老友

329
00:16:59,041 --> 00:17:03,291
‪你可以幫我個大忙
‪替我聞一聞我的口氣？

330
00:17:03,916 --> 00:17:04,750
‪老友，什麼事？

331
00:17:04,833 --> 00:17:08,458
‪我要在飛機上跟個女孩見面
‪她很出色

332
00:17:08,541 --> 00:17:09,583
‪我不想破壞她對我的好感

333
00:17:10,083 --> 00:17:11,875
‪-我懂你，老兄
‪-我知道這聽來很瘋狂

334
00:17:11,958 --> 00:17:12,833
‪讓我聞一聞

335
00:17:17,833 --> 00:17:18,875
‪好，再來一次

336
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,666
‪快，老兄，用力向我吹口氣

337
00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:36,208
‪很香

338
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:38,833
‪你早上吃了狗屎嗎？

339
00:17:39,916 --> 00:17:41,375
‪我只是開玩笑，你完全沒問題

340
00:17:44,833 --> 00:17:45,875
‪她在哪？

341
00:17:45,958 --> 00:17:47,541
‪（抱歉，提姆
‪我要失約，臨陣退縮）

342
00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:50,708
‪不是吧，什麼？他媽的

343
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:54,500
‪（梅麗莎：只是開玩笑！
‪希望你準備好在高空做愛）

344
00:17:56,291 --> 00:17:59,291
‪（人事部尼特：在高空做愛？
‪老爹喜歡哦！）

345
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,333
‪天啊

346
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,500
‪見到你真好！

347
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,166
‪你很香，是什麼味道？

348
00:18:14,666 --> 00:18:15,500
‪是肥皂嗎？

349
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,000
‪對不起，我滿身汗

350
00:18:17,416 --> 00:18:20,750
‪運輸安全管理局的人略略搜了我身
‪我猜是因為我太性感吧

351
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,750
‪不，我的席拉在我的包包裡

352
00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:28,083
‪但我沒有被攔下來，因為我跟他說
‪那是餐刀，所以不用擔心

353
00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:29,458
‪-你受保護了
‪-真風趣

354
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:33,750
‪妳在這裡幹什麼？

355
00:18:35,041 --> 00:18:37,041
‪“我在這裡幹什麼？”

356
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:40,166
‪”妳在這裡幹什麼？”
‪對了，是送給我的嗎？

357
00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:41,416
‪那不是…

358
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:45,000
‪你送我玫瑰花？真貼心

359
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,125
‪我想把臉埋進玫瑰花裡

360
00:18:50,416 --> 00:18:51,916
‪我從沒有坐過頭等客艙

361
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,166
‪太瘋狂了

362
00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,041
‪等等，包包裡有什麼？

363
00:18:55,833 --> 00:18:56,833
‪什麼鬼？

364
00:18:56,916 --> 00:18:58,041
‪（附註：奶奶見過她）

365
00:18:58,125 --> 00:19:01,333
‪免費的東西？天啊

366
00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:03,041
‪這些我全都沒有

367
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:04,625
‪止汗劑！好極了

368
00:19:04,916 --> 00:19:08,750
‪提姆，當我逮到
‪你從洗手間的窗戶爬出去時

369
00:19:09,166 --> 00:19:12,500
‪我心想：“他跟其他人一樣
‪都不過是個不守諾言的傢伙”

370
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:15,125
‪然後我收到你的簡訊，我就…

371
00:19:16,041 --> 00:19:17,166
‪你救了我一命

372
00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:18,875
‪不，我才沒有

373
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,750
‪-這其實只是個大誤…
‪-你有

374
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:22,708
‪提姆，你不只是我的靈魂伴侶

375
00:19:23,916 --> 00:19:24,833
‪你是我的救星

376
00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:29,125
‪我就在那裡
‪準備從波特蘭最高的橋樑一躍而下

377
00:19:29,583 --> 00:19:32,916
‪但我沒有跳，因為首次約會棒極了

378
00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:34,291
‪那是命中注定的

379
00:19:37,625 --> 00:19:40,875
‪謝謝你沒有傷我的心，因為那會…

380
00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:43,291
‪為我帶來災難性的後果

381
00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:48,416
‪-請問要喝點什麼嗎？
‪-好啊，我要一杯龍舌蘭酒

382
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:49,333
‪兩杯

383
00:19:49,958 --> 00:19:50,791
‪不行

384
00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:53,125
‪什麼？對不起，他是酗酒者

385
00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:56,083
‪先生，有我看管著你
‪我不會讓你再喝酒

386
00:19:56,583 --> 00:19:57,541
‪兩杯

387
00:19:58,541 --> 00:20:01,000
‪-妳要吃什麼？
‪-是你要吃，吃吧

388
00:20:02,791 --> 00:20:03,958
‪我吞下去了！

389
00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:05,583
‪-很好
‪-這他媽的是什麼？

390
00:20:05,666 --> 00:20:07,375
‪-是狗狗的鎮靜劑
‪-什麼？

391
00:20:07,458 --> 00:20:08,291
‪晚安

392
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,500
‪不，我喝兩杯，你沒有

393
00:20:11,583 --> 00:20:14,083
‪好，敬歷來最好的週末

394
00:20:14,458 --> 00:20:16,000
‪機艙門鎖上

395
00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:17,791
‪-他媽的
‪-請準備起飛

396
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:36,500
‪這樣喚醒你，覺得怎樣？

397
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:38,000
‪你喜歡嗎？

398
00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:39,208
‪我的天啊

399
00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:40,250
‪妳在做什麼？

400
00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:41,708
‪他在睡覺

401
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:44,833
‪別擔心，我像刺客般靜悄悄的

402
00:20:44,916 --> 00:20:46,708
‪但他就坐在旁邊

403
00:20:46,791 --> 00:20:49,791
‪你不想打手槍嗎？我塗了護手霜

404
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:51,666
‪我的意思是這很好，我…

405
00:20:51,958 --> 00:20:54,708
‪但我只是不想毀掉這個週末

406
00:20:54,791 --> 00:20:56,208
‪懂我的意思嗎？噢，該死

407
00:21:09,875 --> 00:21:10,708
‪對不起

408
00:21:10,791 --> 00:21:11,625
‪提姆

409
00:21:12,541 --> 00:21:14,083
‪太棒了

410
00:21:22,041 --> 00:21:23,083
‪你要下地獄

411
00:21:25,625 --> 00:21:27,250
‪-多久…
‪-40分鐘

412
00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:28,750
‪-40分鐘…
‪-你有面紙嗎？

413
00:21:29,583 --> 00:21:30,416
‪我…

414
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:33,958
‪我就知道你醒著

415
00:21:34,375 --> 00:21:35,208
‪怪人

416
00:21:47,833 --> 00:21:50,875
‪天哪，這絕對是天堂！

417
00:21:50,958 --> 00:21:52,791
‪歷來第二好的約會！

418
00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:56,166
‪我向上帝發誓
‪如果我在海裡見到海龜，我要騎牠！

419
00:21:56,250 --> 00:21:57,666
‪妳不能騎海龜

420
00:21:58,083 --> 00:22:00,416
‪如果牠們想騎在我身上呢？

421
00:22:00,875 --> 00:22:02,833
‪-這樣說很不恰當
‪-也惹人反感

422
00:22:02,916 --> 00:22:05,375
‪好吧，或許不恰當和
‪惹人反感的是妳們

423
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:07,541
‪我只是好心對待一隻該死的海龜

424
00:22:07,625 --> 00:22:08,750
‪尊重這島嶼

425
00:22:08,833 --> 00:22:10,000
‪他媽的閉嘴！

426
00:22:12,166 --> 00:22:15,208
‪妳們根本不認識我！

427
00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:18,916
‪-高興認識妳們
‪-我愛小孩，我很渴望有孩子

428
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,000
‪阿羅哈，請問要喝杯雞尾酒嗎？

429
00:22:21,083 --> 00:22:22,541
‪噢，有什麼選擇？

430
00:22:22,625 --> 00:22:26,250
‪我們有兩種本地口味
‪有邁泰和熱帶之癢

431
00:22:26,333 --> 00:22:29,291
‪如果這傢伙害我得了熱帶之癢
‪我會變成熱帶賤人模樣！

432
00:22:29,666 --> 00:22:32,333
‪當了35年的人，未曾染上性病

433
00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:35,208
‪-妳有這樣厲害嗎？
‪-對不起

434
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,791
‪登記入住，莫里斯

435
00:22:38,875 --> 00:22:40,250
‪莫里斯先生夫人，歡迎您們

436
00:22:40,791 --> 00:22:42,166
‪真好聽

437
00:22:42,833 --> 00:22:44,083
‪真好摸

438
00:22:44,958 --> 00:22:46,208
‪真好聞

439
00:22:46,916 --> 00:22:49,666
‪唷，阿羅哈，兄弟
‪請問水療中心在哪？

440
00:22:51,416 --> 00:22:54,041
‪提米！你怎麼了，兄弟？

441
00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:56,666
‪里奇，怎麼樣？嘿，茱莉亞

442
00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:58,041
‪嘿，提姆

443
00:22:58,125 --> 00:22:59,625
‪我是小妹，提姆的女友，嗨

444
00:23:01,375 --> 00:23:02,458
‪提姆的朋友，我們是朋友

445
00:23:02,541 --> 00:23:04,750
‪我以為我們已火速越過朋友的界線

446
00:23:04,833 --> 00:23:07,208
‪我們來的時候
‪我在飛機上替他打手槍

447
00:23:07,458 --> 00:23:09,208
‪聽起來有人享受了愉快的航程

448
00:23:09,291 --> 00:23:10,625
‪不，她在開玩笑

449
00:23:10,708 --> 00:23:11,958
‪對，我在開玩笑

450
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:16,833
‪哇

451
00:23:17,166 --> 00:23:21,041
‪我感應到你們之間
‪在性方面有很強的聯繫

452
00:23:21,375 --> 00:23:24,166
‪嗖！她逮住了我們

453
00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:27,541
‪噢，不是，不是你們兩個
‪是你們兩個，你們有一腿嗎？

454
00:23:28,833 --> 00:23:30,208
‪她不知道你們的事？

455
00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:31,250
‪知道什麼？

456
00:23:31,583 --> 00:23:33,458
‪他們曾經訂過婚哩

457
00:23:33,958 --> 00:23:38,125
‪他是前任，我是現任

458
00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:39,708
‪我們要走了，要遲到了

459
00:23:39,791 --> 00:23:41,750
‪好吧，我們之後在歡迎派對再聚聚

460
00:23:42,416 --> 00:23:43,916
‪水療中心在這邊，寶貝

461
00:23:44,666 --> 00:23:47,250
‪唔‥謎團先生

462
00:23:47,333 --> 00:23:49,458
‪你有沒有其他
‪深藏、陰暗的秘密想跟我說？

463
00:23:49,791 --> 00:23:51,333
‪-那太…
‪-我懂，沒關係

464
00:23:51,416 --> 00:23:52,666
‪你走運了，我不是醋罈子

465
00:23:52,958 --> 00:23:56,250
‪其實如果你想跟我幻想愛愛
‪我完全沒有問題

466
00:23:59,208 --> 00:24:00,166
‪跟妳幻想愛愛？

467
00:24:00,250 --> 00:24:04,750
‪對，那就是說，如果我們做愛時

468
00:24:04,833 --> 00:24:09,041
‪你想把我的臉幻想成她的臉
‪我覺得完全自在

469
00:24:09,750 --> 00:24:12,833
‪我絕對覺得不自在

470
00:24:13,750 --> 00:24:14,625
‪無論是哪一部分

471
00:24:16,833 --> 00:24:17,791
‪可以給我鑰匙卡嗎？

472
00:24:18,166 --> 00:24:19,375
‪-謝謝
‪-祝您們有美好的…

473
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,791
‪等等，親愛的

474
00:24:21,166 --> 00:24:22,666
‪我的天啊！

475
00:24:22,750 --> 00:24:25,750
‪你是富翁嗎？這他媽的是什麼？

476
00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:28,833
‪我做到了！

477
00:24:29,041 --> 00:24:30,333
‪耶！

478
00:24:30,541 --> 00:24:32,750
‪我所有老師都可以吃我的屁眼了

479
00:24:34,208 --> 00:24:36,333
‪“阿羅哈，提姆和梅麗莎”

480
00:24:37,625 --> 00:24:38,666
‪我超愛的

481
00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:42,541
‪我要警告你
‪在床上愛打屁屁的妞兒會習慣成自然

482
00:24:43,791 --> 00:24:46,083
‪說句公道話，只是這週末偶一為之

483
00:24:46,500 --> 00:24:48,000
‪我要像這樣咬你

484
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,166
‪噢，玫瑰花花瓣

485
00:24:53,750 --> 00:24:56,000
‪大情聖還藏有什麼招數？

486
00:24:57,958 --> 00:24:58,958
‪該死

487
00:25:02,250 --> 00:25:04,166
‪喂，妳在裡面還好嗎？

488
00:25:04,375 --> 00:25:07,625
‪很好，我只是又掉進馬桶，救我

489
00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:10,291
‪發生什麼事？

490
00:25:11,375 --> 00:25:12,625
‪只是在開玩笑…

491
00:25:13,625 --> 00:25:16,000
‪你為何不進來？
‪讓我們看看你的小弟弟浮在水面

492
00:25:16,083 --> 00:25:17,666
‪是什麼模樣

493
00:25:17,750 --> 00:25:19,750
‪小妹，我們要聊聊

494
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:25,333
‪妳去哪裡？

495
00:25:28,583 --> 00:25:30,833
‪我是地獄之星

496
00:25:30,916 --> 00:25:33,791
‪誰敢踏進我的巢穴？

497
00:25:35,125 --> 00:25:37,416
‪終於可以跟個正常人說話
‪嗨，地獄之星

498
00:25:37,500 --> 00:25:39,625
‪噢，是凡人

499
00:25:40,541 --> 00:25:44,375
‪凡人要取悅地獄之星，唯一的辦法

500
00:25:44,458 --> 00:25:47,291
‪是趴在地上，弓起身體

501
00:25:47,375 --> 00:25:50,000
‪順從暗黑的主人！

502
00:25:53,041 --> 00:25:55,166
‪好吧，地獄之星，這些我們之後再說

503
00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:56,708
‪我要外出一陣子

504
00:25:56,791 --> 00:25:58,541
‪什麼？你要離開？

505
00:25:58,791 --> 00:26:00,625
‪就在氣氛這麼好的時候？

506
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:02,958
‪真蠢

507
00:26:03,041 --> 00:26:07,208
‪我要去迎新派對，跟我的新老闆見面
‪這是必須出席的

508
00:26:07,625 --> 00:26:09,458
‪沒有人逃得過，所以…

509
00:26:10,125 --> 00:26:12,291
‪-我要去…
‪-慢著，我跟你一起去

510
00:26:12,375 --> 00:26:13,750
‪-讓我換…
‪-不要！

511
00:26:14,083 --> 00:26:17,083
‪妳留在這裡，放輕鬆，喝點香檳

512
00:26:17,166 --> 00:26:19,958
‪多弄些泡泡
‪或許把烤箱也放進去，玩玩水

513
00:26:20,041 --> 00:26:22,791
‪妳慢慢泡，慢慢泡

514
00:26:23,125 --> 00:26:24,708
‪噢，提姆！

515
00:26:25,041 --> 00:26:28,333
‪你真貼心，我不知道我怎麼配得上你

516
00:26:28,416 --> 00:26:30,541
‪不過謝謝你，我會的

517
00:26:32,166 --> 00:26:33,000
‪不

518
00:26:33,583 --> 00:26:36,750
‪好吧，一會兒見，呆在浴缸裡

519
00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:39,416
‪現在併購已經完成

520
00:26:39,666 --> 00:26:42,708
‪我只希望美國信用全體員工知道

521
00:26:42,791 --> 00:26:47,041
‪我當上你們的新舵手
‪感到無比光榮和興奮

522
00:26:47,791 --> 00:26:48,708
‪嗖！

523
00:26:49,166 --> 00:26:51,208
‪我們為這次退修準備了很多精彩活動

524
00:26:51,291 --> 00:26:54,333
‪特別是才藝表演
‪我知道大家都很興奮

525
00:26:54,416 --> 00:26:57,250
‪我期待認識你們每一位

526
00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:58,750
‪以及你們的另一半

527
00:26:59,291 --> 00:27:00,125
‪好好享受吧

528
00:27:02,041 --> 00:27:03,791
‪國王在此，他在此

529
00:27:03,875 --> 00:27:06,333
‪-嗨
‪-老兄，跟溫斯頓說起很多你的事

530
00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:07,833
‪為你說盡好話

531
00:27:08,208 --> 00:27:10,083
‪-他媽的
‪-“他媽的”？

532
00:27:10,458 --> 00:27:13,166
‪-我捅了個大婁子
‪-什麼？

533
00:27:13,458 --> 00:27:15,416
‪我房裡的女孩跟我想像中的有出入

534
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,375
‪你想深入了解人家，那是你的錯

535
00:27:17,458 --> 00:27:18,291
‪是你責任，老兄

536
00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:21,041
‪不，記得我之前去過的瘋狂相親嗎？

537
00:27:21,125 --> 00:27:23,375
‪我一直以為在跟我的夢中女神傳簡訊

538
00:27:23,791 --> 00:27:24,916
‪我原來跟那女孩傳簡訊

539
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,166
‪老兄，我也遇過這樣的事
‪我不小心把下體照傳給我叔叔

540
00:27:28,250 --> 00:27:29,750
‪他看到後中了風

541
00:27:30,333 --> 00:27:32,291
‪這是我們一家的噩夢

542
00:27:32,375 --> 00:27:34,458
‪我才懶得管你的叔叔

543
00:27:34,541 --> 00:27:36,083
‪這是真的，我要怎麼辦？

544
00:27:36,166 --> 00:27:37,375
‪老兄，坦白交代吧

545
00:27:37,541 --> 00:27:40,250
‪我也想坦白，但她告訴我她本想自殺

546
00:27:40,333 --> 00:27:41,625
‪收到我的簡訊才打消念頭

547
00:27:41,916 --> 00:27:43,541
‪老友，我們怎能左右命運？

548
00:27:43,833 --> 00:27:47,166
‪如果她壽終正寢，那也沒法子
‪她要去陰間

549
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:48,583
‪馬里蘭州小姐在哪？

550
00:27:48,666 --> 00:27:50,375
‪-溫斯頓先生！
‪-不…

551
00:27:50,458 --> 00:27:52,250
‪-我想向你介紹…
‪-我知道他是誰

552
00:27:52,791 --> 00:27:54,916
‪難道你以為
‪我花五億買下這公司，卻不知道

553
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,250
‪最值錢的“臀”員是什麼？

554
00:27:56,875 --> 00:27:58,333
‪嗯，真是太好

555
00:27:58,416 --> 00:28:00,208
‪詹姆，經常聽到你的名字

556
00:28:00,541 --> 00:28:03,125
‪其實是提姆，提姆莫里斯
‪不過謝謝你，先生…

557
00:28:03,375 --> 00:28:04,291
‪先生，你的咖啡

558
00:28:04,625 --> 00:28:05,791
‪我不要咖啡

559
00:28:07,125 --> 00:28:08,083
‪要我喝掉它嗎？

560
00:28:08,750 --> 00:28:09,625
‪我不在乎

561
00:28:12,958 --> 00:28:15,416
‪尼特一直向我誇耀你的美女
‪她在哪？

562
00:28:16,333 --> 00:28:17,916
‪等等，提姆，聽著

563
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,833
‪-溫斯頓先生的太太是德州小姐
‪-不是吧！

564
00:28:21,916 --> 00:28:25,916
‪沒錯，而她曾經
‪跟拳王埃萬德霍利菲爾德交往

565
00:28:26,208 --> 00:28:28,250
‪-我的天啊！
‪-應該說“我的拳王啊”

566
00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:29,166
‪對

567
00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:30,708
‪泰德，那很好

568
00:28:31,666 --> 00:28:32,833
‪好，那很好

569
00:28:33,208 --> 00:28:34,833
‪我的丈夫保羅曾是牛仔褲模特兒

570
00:28:35,625 --> 00:28:38,125
‪腿以前很瘦，屁股很漂亮

571
00:28:38,291 --> 00:28:41,583
‪他們用電腦把我的下半身
‪跟克勞迪婭席費爾的身軀製作合成照

572
00:28:41,666 --> 00:28:43,375
‪你現在替什麼公司當模特兒？
‪肉桂卷店？

573
00:28:43,458 --> 00:28:47,791
‪很可惜我的選美皇后今天覺得不對勁

574
00:28:47,875 --> 00:28:48,708
‪她生病了嗎？

575
00:28:49,041 --> 00:28:52,791
‪你也可以這樣說
‪我甚至不知道這個週末她能否外出

576
00:28:52,875 --> 00:28:55,125
‪她深受時差之苦

577
00:28:55,208 --> 00:28:56,458
‪五個小時航程的時差？

578
00:28:56,583 --> 00:28:59,583
‪她之前從巴黎飛回來
‪時裝週什麼的…

579
00:28:59,666 --> 00:29:01,541
‪噢，這合理多了

580
00:29:01,833 --> 00:29:03,791
‪尼特告訴我，她也是很厲害的運動員

581
00:29:03,875 --> 00:29:05,375
‪全美網球員

582
00:29:05,458 --> 00:29:08,291
‪對，那是以前的事
‪她曾經，那個，你知道…

583
00:29:08,375 --> 00:29:11,000
‪我不是吹噓
‪但我們夫婦在鄉村俱樂部

584
00:29:11,083 --> 00:29:12,000
‪是衛冕的雙打冠軍

585
00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:14,500
‪我們或許可以跟你和你的女友來一場

586
00:29:14,583 --> 00:29:15,666
‪小小的混雙網球賽

587
00:29:15,750 --> 00:29:18,291
‪噢，好啊
‪下午來一場四人大戰聽起來很好玩

588
00:29:18,666 --> 00:29:19,500
‪嗨…

589
00:29:20,333 --> 00:29:23,416
‪溫斯頓，你沒有告訴我
‪他是一隻小胖豬，他是豬肉派

590
00:29:25,208 --> 00:29:27,750
‪-這位是溫斯頓先生…
‪-這合理多了

591
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,458
‪-抱歉，妳是？
‪-讓提姆射在短褲上的人

592
00:29:32,166 --> 00:29:33,500
‪我是小妹，提姆的女友

593
00:29:35,666 --> 00:29:37,125
‪親愛的，妳今天喝了點香檳

594
00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:38,250
‪-不，是喝了烈酒
‪-好

595
00:29:39,125 --> 00:29:42,041
‪可以跟妳談一會嗎？
‪我們在計劃辦驚喜派對

596
00:29:42,125 --> 00:29:43,500
‪我要受點教訓，壞壞的那種

597
00:29:45,125 --> 00:29:47,375
‪好吧，那老頭子，他是一片烏雲

598
00:29:47,458 --> 00:29:48,916
‪他散發出一些很負面的能量

599
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,750
‪那片烏雲是我的新老闆

600
00:29:50,833 --> 00:29:51,750
‪噢，真該死

601
00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:53,958
‪真的，“真該死”

602
00:29:54,250 --> 00:29:56,125
‪真的假的，真的，真該死

603
00:29:56,583 --> 00:29:57,416
‪什麼？

604
00:29:57,500 --> 00:30:00,833
‪提姆，對不起，你們兩個合不來

605
00:30:00,916 --> 00:30:02,166
‪我覺得你不應再在這公司工作

606
00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:04,125
‪我正為這公司工作，我效力了20年

607
00:30:04,291 --> 00:30:05,125
‪那又如何？

608
00:30:05,208 --> 00:30:09,166
‪聽著，我或許對妳的吹噓過了頭

609
00:30:09,250 --> 00:30:11,375
‪說妳身兼大學兩項運動的校隊成員

610
00:30:11,458 --> 00:30:14,291
‪過去大概贏過選美比賽

611
00:30:15,291 --> 00:30:16,791
‪我的天啊

612
00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:19,083
‪你極度迷戀我

613
00:30:19,583 --> 00:30:20,833
‪我的天啊，好吧

614
00:30:20,916 --> 00:30:22,708
‪最終我們不是結為夫婦

615
00:30:22,791 --> 00:30:25,625
‪便是我赤裸的伏屍在某峽谷

616
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:27,625
‪我覺得那不會發生

617
00:30:27,708 --> 00:30:29,583
‪哪一情況？我都準備好

618
00:30:29,666 --> 00:30:30,541
‪可以幫我忙嗎？

619
00:30:30,625 --> 00:30:32,750
‪這是我公司的退修，是很重要

620
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,125
‪對，很重大

621
00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:38,500
‪所以求求妳
‪請保持冷靜、鎮定和非常沉著

622
00:30:38,583 --> 00:30:40,041
‪提姆，你過慮了

623
00:30:40,125 --> 00:30:42,666
‪好吧，我人緣很好，你沒留意到嗎？

624
00:30:42,875 --> 00:30:43,708
‪對

625
00:30:43,791 --> 00:30:46,750
‪我要牢牢抓住所有悶蛋銀行家的心

626
00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:53,875
‪-我考慮…
‪-失陪一下子

627
00:30:53,958 --> 00:30:55,958
‪對不起，謝謝各位，非常感謝

628
00:30:56,333 --> 00:30:58,916
‪你要把大預言家他媽的趕出去

629
00:30:59,208 --> 00:31:00,500
‪-誰？
‪-小妹！

630
00:31:00,583 --> 00:31:02,666
‪她在為全公司的人占卜

631
00:31:03,208 --> 00:31:06,208
‪可能出現很多可怕的事
‪隨時都可能發生…

632
00:31:06,291 --> 00:31:08,791
‪我才剛跟她談過！老天啊

633
00:31:10,333 --> 00:31:12,375
‪我看到一個小男孩，他名叫凱文

634
00:31:12,458 --> 00:31:15,958
‪對，那是小凱，我是大凱
‪我的兒子出現在妳的眼前

635
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,958
‪他站在你的墳墓旁邊

636
00:31:18,416 --> 00:31:20,083
‪什麼？我死掉？

637
00:31:21,541 --> 00:31:24,791
‪你可以活下去
‪只要未來五個月不坐飛機

638
00:31:25,125 --> 00:31:27,666
‪我們身處島嶼上
‪我要怎樣回波特蘭？

639
00:31:27,750 --> 00:31:29,958
‪跟我坐同一班機，我還會活很久

640
00:31:30,041 --> 00:31:32,625
‪-不好意思，嘿，我可以帶她走嗎？
‪-他是我男友

641
00:31:33,833 --> 00:31:35,083
‪老兄，你死定了

642
00:31:35,333 --> 00:31:37,250
‪說好的冷靜、鎮定和沉著呢？

643
00:31:37,333 --> 00:31:39,166
‪-嘿，小妹
‪-噢，很好，給我

644
00:31:39,250 --> 00:31:41,458
‪妳看到今年誰會贏得超級碗？

645
00:31:41,541 --> 00:31:42,791
‪我待會再跟你談，一條腿

646
00:31:43,458 --> 00:31:44,291
‪“一條腿”？

647
00:31:44,583 --> 00:31:47,291
‪你在十年內
‪會於一宗可怕的摩托車意外失去一腿

648
00:31:47,750 --> 00:31:49,625
‪-什麼？
‪-當局會找到那條腿

649
00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:52,083
‪但他們會把腿前後倒轉接上去
‪你會糟透了

650
00:31:52,166 --> 00:31:55,000
‪是這樣的，蒂托內
‪對不起，水晶球要關閉了

651
00:31:58,250 --> 00:31:59,166
‪妳喝了多少杯？

652
00:32:11,250 --> 00:32:12,666
‪-兩杯？
‪-錯

653
00:32:12,875 --> 00:32:13,958
‪我們是時候出發了

654
00:32:14,458 --> 00:32:15,333
‪噢，表演！

655
00:32:15,416 --> 00:32:16,583
‪-拿著
‪-我不會拿著妳的…

656
00:32:16,666 --> 00:32:17,666
‪提姆，別這麼討厭

657
00:32:18,541 --> 00:32:19,666
‪等我！

658
00:32:20,708 --> 00:32:22,833
‪莫里斯，坦白交代
‪那脫軌的火車是誰？

659
00:32:22,916 --> 00:32:25,833
‪因為她絕對不是
‪我在你電腦上看見的選美皇后

660
00:32:26,333 --> 00:32:28,958
‪不，那是她
‪只是妳看到一張拍壞了的照片

661
00:32:30,125 --> 00:32:32,625
‪莫里斯，別擔心
‪你的秘密在我手上很安全

662
00:33:32,125 --> 00:33:34,208
‪我那杯熱帶之癢在哪？

663
00:33:34,958 --> 00:33:39,041
‪我手癢、腳癢、頭癢、屁股癢

664
00:33:39,125 --> 00:33:42,291
‪是莫里斯太太，繼續給我酒

665
00:33:42,708 --> 00:33:44,625
‪小妹，妳果然懂得炒熱派對的氣氛

666
00:33:44,916 --> 00:33:46,666
‪-謝謝
‪-對了，我是潔西

667
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,000
‪妳應該聽過我的名字

668
00:33:48,375 --> 00:33:49,708
‪他們叫我“梭魚”

669
00:33:52,375 --> 00:33:54,666
‪想一想埃萬德霍利菲爾德
‪怎樣打這一球吧

670
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:57,041
‪他那雙硬硬的手一定不行

671
00:33:57,291 --> 00:33:59,083
‪他偶爾還是會來電

672
00:33:59,583 --> 00:34:00,875
‪只為跟我老婆打聲招呼

673
00:34:01,208 --> 00:34:03,500
‪我待會播些語音留言給你聽
‪你會大吃一驚

674
00:34:04,083 --> 00:34:05,875
‪不顧一切、慾火中燒

675
00:34:07,250 --> 00:34:08,625
‪這可見你太太的魅力吧？

676
00:34:08,708 --> 00:34:09,916
‪對，她是大美人

677
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:11,833
‪我極度以她的成就為榮

678
00:34:12,125 --> 00:34:15,000
‪沒有多少人可以說
‪自己曾經擊倒埃萬德霍利菲爾德

679
00:34:17,541 --> 00:34:20,500
‪唷，莫里斯，你的女友準備跳崖

680
00:34:22,083 --> 00:34:22,916
‪什麼？

681
00:34:26,583 --> 00:34:28,250
‪-去！
‪-跳下去！

682
00:34:28,458 --> 00:34:31,291
‪喂！妳在幹什麼？
‪小妹，到底在搞什麼？

683
00:34:31,458 --> 00:34:34,041
‪我準備做三個後空翻，他們央求我做

684
00:34:34,125 --> 00:34:36,375
‪我是問，妳搞什麼鬼要跳崖？

685
00:34:36,458 --> 00:34:39,583
‪我跟那梭魚賤人說
‪我讀大學時是最出色的跳水運動員

686
00:34:39,666 --> 00:34:40,500
‪妳為何這樣說？

687
00:34:40,583 --> 00:34:44,041
‪因為你跟她說
‪我身兼大學兩項運動的校隊成員

688
00:34:44,625 --> 00:34:47,708
‪我看不到周圍有跳板
‪我還以為我很穩妥，不過…

689
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,416
‪我不會讓妳跳的，好嗎？
‪我不想妳死

690
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:55,250
‪看他多在乎我，他愛我

691
00:34:55,333 --> 00:34:59,000
‪-表演結束了，今天沒有人跳水…
‪-我愛你，提姆莫里斯！

692
00:35:00,250 --> 00:35:01,083
‪該死！

693
00:35:01,625 --> 00:35:03,208
‪該死！天啊！

694
00:35:04,916 --> 00:35:06,250
‪天哪！他媽的！

695
00:35:09,458 --> 00:35:10,958
‪-天啊！
‪-天啊！

696
00:35:12,916 --> 00:35:15,333
‪我應該從沒有見過人跳海

697
00:35:15,416 --> 00:35:16,291
‪卻跳不中

698
00:35:19,583 --> 00:35:21,041
‪她沒死！

699
00:35:22,541 --> 00:35:23,375
‪可惡

700
00:35:23,458 --> 00:35:25,750
‪別招惹地獄之星！

701
00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:28,916
‪請告訴我，有人拍了短片…

702
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:41,666
‪人生真有如派對

703
00:35:56,541 --> 00:35:57,375
‪不

704
00:36:00,625 --> 00:36:01,458
‪狗狗的藥丸

705
00:36:07,958 --> 00:36:11,041
‪你是我的男人，我唯一的男人

706
00:36:11,833 --> 00:36:14,166
‪我很想念妳，我很想要妳

707
00:36:14,250 --> 00:36:16,583
‪你這骯髒的小狗，你在啪啪啪

708
00:36:17,208 --> 00:36:19,833
‪噢，你在啪啪啪，耶，你在啪啪啪！

709
00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:23,291
‪你在啪啪啪！

710
00:36:25,416 --> 00:36:26,250
‪小妹？

711
00:36:26,500 --> 00:36:27,583
‪我們在做什麼？

712
00:36:28,125 --> 00:36:29,000
‪做愛？

713
00:36:29,458 --> 00:36:31,541
‪你不停用硬硬的小弟弟戳我的背

714
00:36:31,625 --> 00:36:33,375
‪還說：“我很想要妳”

715
00:36:34,458 --> 00:36:36,833
‪噢，你在跟我幻想愛愛嗎？真酷！

716
00:36:36,916 --> 00:36:38,708
‪-我不是！沒有
‪-有，你有！

717
00:36:38,916 --> 00:36:41,166
‪沒關係
‪我也跟你幻想愛愛，西蒙高維爾

718
00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:43,875
‪現在你閉上眼睛，說我唱歌很難聽！

719
00:36:45,041 --> 00:36:46,375
‪妳要去好萊塢！

720
00:36:49,041 --> 00:36:50,125
‪我現在過來了

721
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:52,083
‪-哥吉拉在哪？
‪-她在睡覺

722
00:36:52,166 --> 00:36:54,041
‪天啊，你上了她吧？

723
00:36:54,125 --> 00:36:55,458
‪-沒有
‪-你聽起來充滿戒心

724
00:36:55,541 --> 00:36:56,750
‪尼特，我沒有

725
00:36:56,833 --> 00:36:58,583
‪-你要踩著電話簿嗎？
‪-我沒有上她

726
00:36:58,791 --> 00:37:00,833
‪-以你奶奶的性命起誓？
‪-好吧，她上了我

727
00:37:00,916 --> 00:37:02,333
‪-再見
‪-我就知道，你這變態…

728
00:37:31,166 --> 00:37:34,500
‪歡迎來到
‪溫斯頓先生版的《創智贏家》！

729
00:37:39,125 --> 00:37:40,125
‪我不要咖啡

730
00:37:41,125 --> 00:37:43,375
‪這是真正的鯊魚缸

731
00:37:43,791 --> 00:37:47,041
‪沒有燈光，沒有攝影機
‪但動作場面更多

732
00:37:47,833 --> 00:37:51,458
‪因為你們在這裡面對的
‪不是馬克庫班或奇妙先生

733
00:37:51,791 --> 00:37:54,041
‪而是貨真價實的鯊魚

734
00:37:54,583 --> 00:37:58,416
‪我的新朋友科曼特告訴我
‪這些鯊魚在這海域惡名昭彰

735
00:37:58,750 --> 00:37:59,583
‪科曼特？

736
00:38:03,791 --> 00:38:06,125
‪這一帶遍佈鯊魚

737
00:38:07,041 --> 00:38:08,833
‪科曼特，你的手指什麼事？

738
00:38:15,125 --> 00:38:16,250
‪天啊

739
00:38:16,583 --> 00:38:20,375
‪我警告過你們，這個週末
‪沒有弱爆的團隊信任遊戲這類垃圾

740
00:38:20,500 --> 00:38:22,291
‪好了，閒話少說

741
00:38:22,708 --> 00:38:24,125
‪我們起航好嗎？

742
00:38:24,375 --> 00:38:25,250
‪出發！

743
00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:28,750
‪我們去狠狠教訓鯊魚

744
00:38:31,250 --> 00:38:34,500
‪提米！別起航！

745
00:38:35,250 --> 00:38:36,166
‪噢，該死

746
00:38:36,250 --> 00:38:38,958
‪-走
‪-我來了，提姆！

747
00:38:39,166 --> 00:38:40,416
‪不！走！

748
00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:41,833
‪噢，該死，我們走吧

749
00:38:41,916 --> 00:38:44,541
‪嘿，替我解開繩子
‪謝謝，我們要出發了

750
00:38:44,875 --> 00:38:46,250
‪快！我們在幹什麼？

751
00:38:46,333 --> 00:38:49,541
‪這爛東西起航吧，走，出發！

752
00:38:49,625 --> 00:38:51,166
‪-我來了！
‪-她追上來了

753
00:38:51,500 --> 00:38:52,916
‪妳這他媽的獵豹，天啊

754
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:54,375
‪該死的船別走！

755
00:38:54,791 --> 00:38:57,500
‪-該死
‪-我愛你，提姆莫里斯！

756
00:39:23,583 --> 00:39:24,458
‪該死

757
00:39:26,916 --> 00:39:29,333
‪她來了，嘿

758
00:39:31,708 --> 00:39:33,833
‪你阻擋不了地獄之星！

759
00:39:33,916 --> 00:39:36,708
‪不，是我的寶貝

760
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:39,500
‪天啊，妳趕上了

761
00:39:39,833 --> 00:39:40,791
‪對呀

762
00:39:41,041 --> 00:39:42,208
‪來加入派對吧

763
00:39:49,875 --> 00:39:51,666
‪斯圖爾特，有鯊魚嗎？

764
00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:53,458
‪先生，可惜沒有

765
00:39:53,708 --> 00:39:55,416
‪但我好像見到鮭魚

766
00:39:55,708 --> 00:39:57,666
‪鮭魚？天哪！

767
00:39:58,500 --> 00:40:00,125
‪好了，就這樣，我要下去

768
00:40:00,791 --> 00:40:04,208
‪我們沒見到該死的鯊魚前
‪是不會回酒店的

769
00:40:05,083 --> 00:40:07,708
‪泰德！你跟我，走

770
00:40:07,791 --> 00:40:10,833
‪先生，我叫提姆
‪不過你知道，我現在大概不適合下水

771
00:40:11,125 --> 00:40:13,166
‪為什麼？你還未曾下水

772
00:40:13,750 --> 00:40:15,208
‪你不是膽怯吧？

773
00:40:16,375 --> 00:40:19,458
‪不，絕不是膽怯，永不膽怯

774
00:40:19,541 --> 00:40:20,458
‪那麼有什麼問題？

775
00:40:20,541 --> 00:40:22,375
‪其實跟小妹有更大的關係

776
00:40:22,458 --> 00:40:25,083
‪她暈船很嚴重

777
00:40:25,166 --> 00:40:26,375
‪我沒有

778
00:40:26,458 --> 00:40:29,208
‪妳有，而妳才剛克服時差

779
00:40:29,458 --> 00:40:31,083
‪但我想下水，看來很好玩

780
00:40:31,166 --> 00:40:33,166
‪不過誰也可以去玩，我不會生氣

781
00:40:33,250 --> 00:40:35,916
‪-你可以下水…我壓軸
‪-不，提姆，你要下去

782
00:40:36,458 --> 00:40:37,291
‪去吧

783
00:40:37,375 --> 00:40:41,125
‪我不一定要去
‪妳也他媽的不舒服，記得嗎？

784
00:40:41,208 --> 00:40:44,083
‪妳他媽的不舒服，我要陪著妳

785
00:40:44,250 --> 00:40:46,125
‪不，你他媽的不用

786
00:40:46,625 --> 00:40:49,916
‪去！在我於這些雜種面前
‪狠狠掌摑你之前，你快下去

787
00:40:51,666 --> 00:40:53,875
‪-我們為我的事在浪費時間
‪-去

788
00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:01,333
‪你確定要下去嗎？

789
00:41:05,333 --> 00:41:06,208
‪對，我確定

790
00:41:06,791 --> 00:41:07,833
‪我不怕

791
00:41:09,666 --> 00:41:10,583
‪我沒事

792
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:11,833
‪沒事

793
00:41:13,208 --> 00:41:14,875
‪我和你都知道，你有幽閉恐懼症

794
00:41:15,208 --> 00:41:18,416
‪還有什麼被困在籠子裡
‪更讓人覺得幽閉恐懼

795
00:41:19,083 --> 00:41:21,708
‪-對
‪-我知道這週末對你很重要

796
00:41:21,791 --> 00:41:23,500
‪你一直努力工作爭取升職

797
00:41:23,583 --> 00:41:26,958
‪我只是不知道這是否
‪讓你老闆刮目相看的最好機會

798
00:41:27,833 --> 00:41:28,791
‪提姆，我只是…

799
00:41:29,625 --> 00:41:32,291
‪-我絕對不想你…
‪-泰德，來吧！別浪費時間

800
00:41:32,541 --> 00:41:35,041
‪我們在他媽的甲板上不會看到大白鯊

801
00:41:40,041 --> 00:41:41,458
‪我要說的正是這個！

802
00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:43,166
‪讓這膽小鬼渾身濕透吧

803
00:41:54,791 --> 00:41:55,625
‪可以了

804
00:41:57,250 --> 00:41:59,458
‪-可以了，來，拿著
‪-現在塞進嘴吧？

805
00:41:59,541 --> 00:42:00,916
‪對，塞進嘴巴

806
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:01,833
‪泰德，好極！

807
00:42:02,541 --> 00:42:03,375
‪喂

808
00:42:04,333 --> 00:42:06,375
‪如果你見到咬掉我手指的鯊魚

809
00:42:07,208 --> 00:42:09,458
‪你代我跟牠說…

810
00:42:10,416 --> 00:42:11,583
‪怎樣了？

811
00:42:11,833 --> 00:42:13,625
‪寶貝，怎麼了？

812
00:42:13,875 --> 00:42:15,791
‪不好意思，我要接聽電話，怎麼了？

813
00:43:02,166 --> 00:43:03,166
‪嘿，什麼來的？

814
00:43:04,166 --> 00:43:05,000
‪是誘餌嗎？

815
00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:07,333
‪那裡寫著“不得用魚餌誘魚”

816
00:43:07,541 --> 00:43:08,458
‪這是非法的！

817
00:43:08,708 --> 00:43:10,166
‪好的，這裡沒有鯊魚

818
00:43:10,250 --> 00:43:11,833
‪所以我想弄得好玩一點

819
00:43:11,916 --> 00:43:13,291
‪這本應是我們的午餐

820
00:43:13,458 --> 00:43:14,625
‪我們之後要吃的

821
00:43:14,708 --> 00:43:15,541
‪這是湯！

822
00:43:15,625 --> 00:43:17,125
‪如果鯊魚聞到魚餌會怎麼樣？

823
00:43:17,208 --> 00:43:18,958
‪牠們會他媽的發狂！

824
00:43:19,041 --> 00:43:20,208
‪-好
‪-給我！

825
00:43:20,916 --> 00:43:23,458
‪-給我…
‪-老兄，放手！

826
00:43:23,541 --> 00:43:24,500
‪住手！

827
00:43:57,375 --> 00:43:58,458
‪鯊魚！

828
00:43:58,541 --> 00:43:59,916
‪鯊魚！在哪？

829
00:44:01,333 --> 00:44:03,791
‪這是我的工作
‪我尋找鯊魚的！耶！

830
00:44:07,833 --> 00:44:09,416
‪我們他媽的盡情玩吧

831
00:44:34,625 --> 00:44:36,000
‪我不知道，我喜歡《人魚童話》

832
00:44:36,083 --> 00:44:37,708
‪我覺得那電影很好看
‪我明白你為何不…

833
00:44:37,791 --> 00:44:40,500
‪我不覺得那鯨魚討人喜歡
‪那鯨魚一定要討人喜歡

834
00:44:40,583 --> 00:44:43,208
‪不然如果那鯨魚是混蛋
‪誰會在乎？

835
00:44:48,583 --> 00:44:50,083
‪他媽的混蛋

836
00:45:03,791 --> 00:45:05,458
‪-救命！
‪-天啊！牠在籠裡

837
00:45:05,541 --> 00:45:06,666
‪-救命！
‪-天啊！

838
00:45:06,750 --> 00:45:07,666
‪-科曼特！
‪-提姆！

839
00:45:08,500 --> 00:45:09,958
‪-救命！
‪-提姆！

840
00:45:12,041 --> 00:45:13,250
‪去你的！

841
00:45:17,958 --> 00:45:20,583
‪你咬掉了三根手指
‪卻沒有咬掉手掌！

842
00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:31,166
‪-提姆！
‪-天啊！

843
00:45:31,583 --> 00:45:32,708
‪-拉我上來
‪-提姆，老兄！

844
00:45:32,791 --> 00:45:33,666
‪天啊！

845
00:45:34,125 --> 00:45:36,166
‪-天啊！
‪-天啊！提姆

846
00:45:36,250 --> 00:45:38,541
‪-我以為我們失去了你
‪-他媽的把她拉走

847
00:45:38,791 --> 00:45:41,083
‪慢著，溫斯頓在哪？

848
00:45:45,083 --> 00:45:46,916
‪天啊，你殺了他！

849
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,041
‪快，把他拉上來

850
00:45:48,125 --> 00:45:49,166
‪在後面的退後

851
00:45:49,250 --> 00:45:51,958
‪大家退後
‪我是合格的心肺復甦法急救員

852
00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:54,125
‪好吧，溫斯頓先生

853
00:45:55,791 --> 00:45:56,625
‪妳真的可以嗎？

854
00:45:57,125 --> 00:45:57,958
‪退後！

855
00:46:04,833 --> 00:46:05,791
‪他媽的，耶！

856
00:46:07,958 --> 00:46:08,791
‪接著替我做

857
00:46:10,125 --> 00:46:11,666
‪任何一位美女

858
00:46:12,333 --> 00:46:14,125
‪任何一位美女，替我做

859
00:46:15,333 --> 00:46:16,958
‪無任歡迎，任何人！

860
00:46:18,250 --> 00:46:21,458
‪我只是想在你和你老闆之間
‪製造奇妙的一刻

861
00:46:22,041 --> 00:46:25,166
‪難道妳沒有見到告示牌上寫著
‪“絕對不得用魚餌誘魚”

862
00:46:25,375 --> 00:46:28,583
‪那不是魚餌
‪是我聞到魚餌後吐出來的東西

863
00:46:28,791 --> 00:46:30,666
‪妳在我身處的鯊魚籠正上方嘔吐時

864
00:46:30,750 --> 00:46:33,375
‪妳腦袋究竟在想什麼？

865
00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:35,500
‪你需要冷靜一下，好嗎？

866
00:46:35,583 --> 00:46:38,833
‪妳何不寫一張處方給我
‪妳是他媽的五萬樣東西的醫生

867
00:46:38,916 --> 00:46:42,583
‪如果我不是那個範疇的合格人士
‪我絕對不會寫處方

868
00:46:43,166 --> 00:46:46,000
‪什麼？我已經說了
‪我很抱歉幾乎殺死你的老闆

869
00:46:46,375 --> 00:46:48,541
‪-你還想我我怎樣？
‪-別幾乎殺死我的老闆

870
00:46:48,625 --> 00:46:49,625
‪那會是一大幫忙

871
00:46:49,708 --> 00:46:50,625
‪提姆，你知道嗎？

872
00:46:50,875 --> 00:46:53,541
‪如果你想要的女孩，她會安坐在酒店

873
00:46:53,625 --> 00:46:55,291
‪每晚都很開心

874
00:46:55,375 --> 00:46:57,458
‪像一袋沉悶的馬鈴薯，讓你可以上

875
00:46:57,541 --> 00:46:59,625
‪然後一整天都不說話

876
00:46:59,708 --> 00:47:01,708
‪那麼你帶了
‪一個不合適的小妹來這裡！

877
00:47:03,083 --> 00:47:03,916
‪我有…

878
00:47:04,250 --> 00:47:06,083
‪-妳去哪裡？
‪-噢，去你的

879
00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:09,375
‪（梅麗莎：記得我嗎？）

880
00:47:10,500 --> 00:47:11,625
‪噢，太巧了…

881
00:47:11,708 --> 00:47:14,875
‪（妳絕不會相信我犯下的錯誤！）

882
00:47:36,291 --> 00:47:37,791
‪他大概身高170公分

883
00:47:37,916 --> 00:47:39,791
‪很奇怪，因為他的奶奶身高185公分

884
00:47:39,875 --> 00:47:41,833
‪我無所謂
‪我跟他在一起時只穿平底鞋

885
00:47:41,916 --> 00:47:43,500
‪天哪，真是喋喋不休

886
00:47:43,583 --> 00:47:45,291
‪-如果我們有孩子…
‪-嘿

887
00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:46,208
‪小妹

888
00:47:46,875 --> 00:47:48,458
‪-妳可以進來嗎？
‪-好，嗨，提姆

889
00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:50,333
‪聽著

890
00:47:50,958 --> 00:47:52,291
‪我知道你很抱歉，好吧？

891
00:47:52,375 --> 00:47:54,375
‪你不用貶低自己，乞求我的寬恕

892
00:47:54,458 --> 00:47:57,416
‪-我並沒有
‪-你要認識一下我們的鄰居芭芭拉

893
00:47:57,750 --> 00:47:59,791
‪她和她老公昨晚聽到我們在打炮

894
00:48:00,458 --> 00:48:01,875
‪他們幾乎打給保全人員

895
00:48:01,958 --> 00:48:04,083
‪他們以為這裡有個小女孩被虐待

896
00:48:04,958 --> 00:48:06,833
‪-你是那小女孩
‪-是，我明白

897
00:48:06,916 --> 00:48:09,666
‪-你懂嗎？
‪-在那場景，對

898
00:48:09,750 --> 00:48:10,916
‪不過我替她難過

899
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:14,541
‪她說自從30年前度蜜月後
‪她老公再也沒有發出那種聲音

900
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,416
‪所以我指點了她，不收費的

901
00:48:18,166 --> 00:48:19,166
‪不，別這樣做

902
00:48:19,791 --> 00:48:22,250
‪-做什麼？
‪-指點別人，別人不喜歡接受指點

903
00:48:22,333 --> 00:48:23,625
‪-大家都喜歡接受指點
‪-不

904
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:24,958
‪-他們喜歡
‪-不

905
00:48:25,041 --> 00:48:26,541
‪-他們喜歡建議指點
‪-不

906
00:48:26,625 --> 00:48:28,125
‪-現金小費
‪-不

907
00:48:28,208 --> 00:48:29,708
‪-你小弟弟的末端
‪-喂！不要，小妹

908
00:48:29,791 --> 00:48:31,500
‪-他們喜歡你小弟弟的末端
‪-小妹！

909
00:48:34,666 --> 00:48:35,791
‪-我只想…
‪-小弟弟末端！

910
00:48:35,875 --> 00:48:37,250
‪-妳打中了…
‪-讓我摸它！

911
00:48:37,333 --> 00:48:39,000
‪-妳摸到它了
‪-你真討厭

912
00:48:39,083 --> 00:48:41,000
‪拜託，聽著，我很抱歉

913
00:48:41,083 --> 00:48:42,041
‪-好
‪-現在

914
00:48:42,375 --> 00:48:44,291
‪我一定要去見我的團隊

915
00:48:44,375 --> 00:48:46,000
‪妳不要接近我們

916
00:48:46,291 --> 00:48:48,416
‪明白嗎？這是重要的公事

917
00:48:48,500 --> 00:48:49,791
‪所以我不是開玩笑的

918
00:48:50,166 --> 00:48:51,083
‪其實這正好了

919
00:48:51,166 --> 00:48:54,041
‪我和芭芭拉在聊打算去做水療
‪兩個女生可以談心事

920
00:48:56,041 --> 00:48:56,875
‪是嗎？

921
00:48:57,625 --> 00:49:00,208
‪這是個好主意，妳應該去做水療

922
00:49:00,291 --> 00:49:03,375
‪然後可能划獨木舟
‪到一個島上，放鬆一下

923
00:49:03,458 --> 00:49:05,125
‪如果附近或遠處有一個島的話

924
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:08,291
‪好，各位，彩排很棒

925
00:49:08,375 --> 00:49:11,916
‪但請記得，我們必須做出
‪一輩子最棒的表演

926
00:49:12,083 --> 00:49:15,333
‪溫斯頓是這次才藝表演的座上客
‪還有很多人會注視著我們

927
00:49:15,416 --> 00:49:17,041
‪所以我們要表現出色

928
00:49:17,125 --> 00:49:19,708
‪要為提米爭取到那工作！
‪我們才能保住自己的工作

929
00:49:19,791 --> 00:49:21,916
‪那樣就好了，我們要打敗梭魚

930
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,500
‪來，把手伸出來，好，你們都懂的

931
00:49:25,333 --> 00:49:26,833
‪各位，我們明天要做什麼？

932
00:49:26,916 --> 00:49:30,500
‪激發！ 實現！一起！

933
00:49:30,583 --> 00:49:31,416
‪我給B+

934
00:49:31,500 --> 00:49:33,833
‪天啊，看看，是海軍胖海豹部隊

935
00:49:35,250 --> 00:49:36,583
‪-健身吧，各位
‪-我是認真的

936
00:49:36,958 --> 00:49:39,041
‪提姆，我要好好照顧你，好嗎？

937
00:49:39,333 --> 00:49:41,333
‪我們何時把合適的小妹帶來這裡？

938
00:49:41,416 --> 00:49:44,458
‪不可以，因為不合適的小妹還在這裡

939
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:46,250
‪我希望你殺了她

940
00:49:46,333 --> 00:49:49,375
‪不，她在做水療
‪她跟我們的鄰居成了莫逆之交

941
00:49:50,083 --> 00:49:51,250
‪什麼鄰居？

942
00:49:51,333 --> 00:49:52,958
‪我不知道，住在我們隔壁的女士

943
00:49:53,333 --> 00:49:55,291
‪不要跟我說她的名字是芭芭拉

944
00:49:55,625 --> 00:49:57,791
‪好像是，是芭芭拉，怎麼了？
‪你認識她嗎？

945
00:49:57,875 --> 00:49:58,750
‪媽的！

946
00:49:59,333 --> 00:50:04,166
‪我為你的套房升級時
‪我把你安排在傑克溫斯頓的隔壁

947
00:50:04,250 --> 00:50:07,833
‪而他的妻子就是芭芭拉

948
00:50:07,916 --> 00:50:08,875
‪走！

949
00:50:14,958 --> 00:50:15,833
‪再見

950
00:50:16,875 --> 00:50:17,750
‪快點！

951
00:50:19,166 --> 00:50:20,333
‪大家好，我是尼特

952
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:24,291
‪真可憐

953
00:50:28,541 --> 00:50:30,458
‪小妹呢？小妹！

954
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:31,833
‪小妹？

955
00:50:33,500 --> 00:50:34,333
‪小妹？

956
00:50:35,333 --> 00:50:36,375
‪小妹？

957
00:50:39,291 --> 00:50:40,166
‪天啊

958
00:50:40,458 --> 00:50:42,833
‪慢著，妳不是我老婆！

959
00:50:43,416 --> 00:50:44,291
‪嗖！

960
00:50:45,500 --> 00:50:46,916
‪太離譜

961
00:50:47,458 --> 00:50:48,291
‪繼續

962
00:50:48,916 --> 00:50:52,208
‪嗨，妳有碰巧見到
‪一個高高的深色頭髮女孩嗎？

963
00:50:52,291 --> 00:50:53,208
‪她的名字叫小妹

964
00:50:53,416 --> 00:50:56,083
‪有，她已經走了
‪但我希望一切都安好吧

965
00:50:56,583 --> 00:50:57,500
‪妳怎麼會這樣說？

966
00:50:57,583 --> 00:51:00,750
‪那位跟她一起比較老的女士
‪看起來非常激動

967
00:51:01,291 --> 00:51:02,875
‪沒有人離世吧？

968
00:51:03,166 --> 00:51:04,000
‪她馬上會死

969
00:51:08,416 --> 00:51:09,791
‪妳做了什麼？妳說了什麼？

970
00:51:10,208 --> 00:51:12,333
‪-跟誰？
‪-芭芭拉，做水療時

971
00:51:12,500 --> 00:51:13,750
‪提姆，我愛你甚於一切

972
00:51:14,125 --> 00:51:15,625
‪但這是醫生與病人之間的秘密

973
00:51:15,708 --> 00:51:16,583
‪妳不是醫生！

974
00:51:16,666 --> 00:51:19,125
‪我是，我是合格的婚姻諮詢顧問

975
00:51:19,208 --> 00:51:20,291
‪妳當然是

976
00:51:20,375 --> 00:51:23,166
‪即使妳是，她也不是妳的病人

977
00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:24,500
‪事實上她算是我的病人

978
00:51:24,750 --> 00:51:27,291
‪她丈夫是個混蛋，但他超級有錢

979
00:51:28,375 --> 00:51:30,083
‪她付給我現金，作為我的聘用定金

980
00:51:30,541 --> 00:51:31,833
‪看來我得到一位客戶了

981
00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:35,041
‪我們來這裡是為了你的公事
‪但做生意的卻是我

982
00:51:35,125 --> 00:51:35,958
‪很瘋狂吧？

983
00:51:36,041 --> 00:51:38,875
‪妳是否曾想過
‪妳才是需要合格人士幫助的人？

984
00:51:38,958 --> 00:51:41,583
‪-沒有
‪-前幾天妳跟我說打算要跳橋

985
00:51:41,750 --> 00:51:43,708
‪玩高空彈跳的時候就是要跳橋

986
00:51:45,166 --> 00:51:46,416
‪還有其他人想做這事嗎？

987
00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:47,625
‪我不玩了

988
00:51:47,708 --> 00:51:49,083
‪那傢伙去了該死的哪裡？

989
00:51:49,166 --> 00:51:50,375
‪妳說我救了妳一命

990
00:51:50,458 --> 00:51:53,333
‪你可能有，你知道有多少人
‪因玩高空彈跳死亡嗎？

991
00:51:53,416 --> 00:51:54,583
‪是非常危險的

992
00:51:54,666 --> 00:51:56,166
‪我收到你的簡訊，我當時想

993
00:51:56,250 --> 00:52:00,416
‪我不會再做任何危險的事
‪因為有人愛我了

994
00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:01,833
‪小妹

995
00:52:02,916 --> 00:52:06,375
‪我要妳告訴我
‪妳在做水療時確實說了什麼話

996
00:52:07,208 --> 00:52:09,791
‪我為小芭的婚姻關係提供了補救方法

997
00:52:10,083 --> 00:52:11,791
‪那是…？

998
00:52:12,458 --> 00:52:14,458
‪拋棄那個混蛋

999
00:52:15,416 --> 00:52:16,291
‪該死！

1000
00:52:17,333 --> 00:52:18,541
‪妳認真的嗎？

1001
00:52:18,625 --> 00:52:21,458
‪是，我當然認真，我開過玩笑嗎？

1002
00:52:21,958 --> 00:52:23,500
‪我跟她說別和那人再過多一刻

1003
00:52:24,083 --> 00:52:26,083
‪妳知不知道妳做了什麼嗎？

1004
00:52:26,791 --> 00:52:28,750
‪把一個人從痛苦的婚姻中拯救出來？

1005
00:52:28,833 --> 00:52:31,416
‪妳使我老闆的婚姻破裂！

1006
00:52:32,416 --> 00:52:34,250
‪她的丈夫傑克，是傑克…

1007
00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:36,916
‪溫斯頓！對！

1008
00:52:37,125 --> 00:52:38,125
‪天啊

1009
00:52:38,250 --> 00:52:40,333
‪好，就這樣，我走了！

1010
00:52:40,458 --> 00:52:41,416
‪該死

1011
00:52:42,166 --> 00:52:44,500
‪-溫斯頓先生，埃萬德霍利菲爾德…
‪-閉嘴，斯圖爾特

1012
00:52:46,416 --> 00:52:48,291
‪埃萬德，他會再打給你

1013
00:52:51,083 --> 00:52:52,875
‪現在事情合理多了

1014
00:52:53,208 --> 00:52:55,750
‪不，這完全不合理，妳要把事情修正

1015
00:53:07,625 --> 00:53:08,583
‪不停續杯

1016
00:53:09,416 --> 00:53:11,791
‪他們說他們沒有石榴汁糖漿了

1017
00:53:12,166 --> 00:53:14,833
‪那麼用該死的濃糖水吧
‪我一點也不在乎，斯圖爾特

1018
00:53:15,291 --> 00:53:16,708
‪只要確保我喝醉

1019
00:53:21,833 --> 00:53:23,291
‪我完蛋了

1020
00:53:23,583 --> 00:53:26,000
‪別擔心，你的女友會弄好的

1021
00:53:27,750 --> 00:53:29,833
‪傑克，你看來很失落

1022
00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:31,791
‪我不想談這事情

1023
00:53:32,125 --> 00:53:33,333
‪我是很好的聆聽者

1024
00:53:33,916 --> 00:53:36,208
‪你想的話
‪可以跟我說任何關於芭芭拉的事

1025
00:53:36,541 --> 00:53:38,708
‪正好，我跟我妻子吵了一場小架

1026
00:53:38,791 --> 00:53:40,833
‪這事會成為整家公司的頭版新聞

1027
00:53:40,916 --> 00:53:43,125
‪我會說是整家飯店
‪因為你喊叫成那個樣子

1028
00:53:43,208 --> 00:53:44,541
‪你聽起來像變態狂

1029
00:53:48,375 --> 00:53:50,166
‪這味道像該死的濃糖水

1030
00:53:50,500 --> 00:53:53,166
‪-您說如果沒有石榴汁糖漿…
‪-我從不會說這麼笨的話！

1031
00:53:54,458 --> 00:53:57,375
‪斯圖爾特，在你人生中
‪負一點該死的責任，可以嗎？

1032
00:53:57,541 --> 00:53:58,375
‪好的

1033
00:53:58,458 --> 00:54:00,708
‪聽著，有人正在干涉我的婚姻

1034
00:54:01,250 --> 00:54:04,666
‪當我得知是誰對我的芭芭拉洗腦
‪我會把他們…

1035
00:54:08,625 --> 00:54:11,125
‪芭芭拉被你洗腦！

1036
00:54:11,375 --> 00:54:12,625
‪-天啊
‪-是的

1037
00:54:12,750 --> 00:54:14,166
‪妳怎麼這樣說話，妳怎麼了？

1038
00:54:14,250 --> 00:54:17,125
‪怎麼了，嚇到你嗎？
‪或許你需要被嚇一下

1039
00:54:17,291 --> 00:54:21,083
‪讓你害怕會失去唯一有過
‪互相支持、成人之間的關係嗎？

1040
00:54:21,166 --> 00:54:22,416
‪好吧，別再用那種聲音

1041
00:54:22,500 --> 00:54:25,416
‪別再做一個不好的丈夫，大眼袋

1042
00:54:27,083 --> 00:54:28,791
‪嘿！好了，溫斯頓先生

1043
00:54:29,125 --> 00:54:31,208
‪聽著，小妹
‪我們不如給他一點空間吧？

1044
00:54:31,416 --> 00:54:34,625
‪等一下，妳怎麼會對我
‪和我的婚姻知道那麼多？

1045
00:54:34,708 --> 00:54:37,083
‪妳不是介紹那個
‪變態心理醫生給她的人吧？

1046
00:54:37,291 --> 00:54:38,125
‪不是

1047
00:54:38,541 --> 00:54:40,000
‪我就是那個變態心理醫生

1048
00:54:40,375 --> 00:54:43,250
‪妳就是那個想毀掉我婚姻的人？

1049
00:54:43,333 --> 00:54:45,916
‪婚姻是建立於愛，建立於陪伴

1050
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,208
‪你需要愛她，你必須在她身邊，傑克

1051
00:54:50,333 --> 00:54:53,041
‪噢，你承受不了？他承受不了，各位

1052
00:54:53,375 --> 00:54:54,875
‪我開始喜歡這女孩

1053
00:54:55,083 --> 00:54:56,208
‪妳絕對不要靠近我

1054
00:55:00,208 --> 00:55:01,041
‪媽的！

1055
00:55:02,291 --> 00:55:04,041
‪我的脖子，別讓她靠近我

1056
00:55:04,333 --> 00:55:07,375
‪大家放鬆
‪我是合格的脊椎治療師，明白嗎？

1057
00:55:07,541 --> 00:55:08,583
‪我知道我在幹嘛

1058
00:55:08,666 --> 00:55:10,791
‪溫斯頓，我們必須
‪盡快把你的骨接回去

1059
00:55:11,166 --> 00:55:12,250
‪-不要
‪-一

1060
00:55:12,333 --> 00:55:13,333
‪妳連想都不要想

1061
00:55:13,416 --> 00:55:14,541
‪二、三

1062
00:55:15,833 --> 00:55:16,666
‪四！

1063
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:19,083
‪五！

1064
00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:22,208
‪好，你想妻子重投你懷抱？

1065
00:55:23,416 --> 00:55:24,291
‪你想嗎？

1066
00:55:24,875 --> 00:55:28,291
‪如果你想得到幫忙
‪你要願意接受幫忙才行

1067
00:55:28,500 --> 00:55:29,333
‪好嗎？

1068
00:55:30,750 --> 00:55:33,208
‪你，梭魚的笨老公
‪抬起他，送他到他的房間

1069
00:55:33,291 --> 00:55:34,208
‪就位吧，白癡

1070
00:55:34,291 --> 00:55:35,583
‪盡量輕輕的抬起他

1071
00:55:36,541 --> 00:55:37,583
‪提姆，打給服務台

1072
00:55:37,666 --> 00:55:39,416
‪說我們需要一些熱毛巾，一桶冰塊

1073
00:55:39,500 --> 00:55:41,791
‪和一罐凡士林，送到溫斯頓的套房

1074
00:55:41,875 --> 00:55:44,625
‪很抱…我對發生的事很抱歉

1075
00:55:57,791 --> 00:55:58,666
‪早安

1076
00:55:59,208 --> 00:56:01,000
‪嘿，我要退房

1077
00:56:01,083 --> 00:56:03,000
‪沒問題，老婆也是嗎？

1078
00:56:03,333 --> 00:56:04,583
‪她不是我老婆

1079
00:56:04,666 --> 00:56:06,541
‪哎喲，買完東西才後悔吧？

1080
00:56:07,166 --> 00:56:09,666
‪-是的
‪-提姆，你在這裡！

1081
00:56:09,750 --> 00:56:10,666
‪該死

1082
00:56:10,750 --> 00:56:12,250
‪我一直到處找你

1083
00:56:12,541 --> 00:56:14,375
‪你在幹嘛？怎麼回事？

1084
00:56:15,208 --> 00:56:16,375
‪我要回家

1085
00:56:16,458 --> 00:56:19,166
‪我要回到波特蘭，我要開始找新工作

1086
00:56:19,250 --> 00:56:20,291
‪呼吸一下，可以嗎？

1087
00:56:20,375 --> 00:56:22,625
‪我昨晚與芭芭拉和溫斯頓
‪度過了一整夜

1088
00:56:23,541 --> 00:56:27,750
‪他是個固執的老頭
‪但我讓他深深的釋放出來

1089
00:56:27,833 --> 00:56:30,166
‪妳在我老闆的妻子面前為他打手槍？

1090
00:56:31,250 --> 00:56:33,791
‪是釋放情緒，你真惡心

1091
00:56:33,875 --> 00:56:36,750
‪我再次因為醫生與病人之間那事情
‪不能向你詳細交代

1092
00:56:36,833 --> 00:56:39,250
‪但他有很多陰暗面要解決

1093
00:56:39,333 --> 00:56:43,458
‪但他也有一個很棒的心靈
‪而且他愛你

1094
00:56:43,541 --> 00:56:44,375
‪我？

1095
00:56:44,791 --> 00:56:46,541
‪不對，他對我恨之入骨

1096
00:56:46,625 --> 00:56:50,791
‪看著我，提姆
‪你叫我去把事情修正，我修正了

1097
00:56:51,875 --> 00:56:53,166
‪溫斯頓愛你

1098
00:56:54,333 --> 00:56:55,916
‪大聲歡呼！

1099
00:56:56,416 --> 00:56:58,208
‪妳們這些公司蕩婦！

1100
00:56:58,541 --> 00:57:01,083
‪拜託，超厲害的

1101
00:57:03,083 --> 00:57:04,458
‪這傢伙他媽的嗨

1102
00:57:04,833 --> 00:57:06,875
‪我們接下來的才藝表演

1103
00:57:07,291 --> 00:57:09,625
‪請以熱烈掌聲歡迎西北銷售團隊出場

1104
00:57:10,083 --> 00:57:14,000
‪率領他們的是高級副總裁
‪我的好友，提姆莫里斯！

1105
00:57:14,458 --> 00:57:15,916
‪我愛那傢伙！

1106
00:57:18,833 --> 00:57:20,291
‪是的，溫斯頓

1107
00:57:20,583 --> 00:57:23,041
‪好吧，西北銷售團隊

1108
00:57:23,125 --> 00:57:27,541
‪將會以影子舞激勵我們

1109
00:57:30,791 --> 00:57:32,375
‪（美國信用團隊才藝表演）

1110
00:57:32,458 --> 00:57:37,166
‪在美國信用，我們理解
‪財務決定是很困難

1111
00:57:37,250 --> 00:57:39,125
‪所以我們有…

1112
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:42,833
‪“最佳短命”？

1113
00:57:43,083 --> 00:57:44,083
‪這是什麼，挑戰題？

1114
00:57:49,875 --> 00:57:51,000
‪是“短暫”

1115
00:57:51,083 --> 00:57:53,666
‪對了，我們是全國最佳短暫…

1116
00:57:55,125 --> 00:57:56,375
‪快點，來了

1117
00:57:56,708 --> 00:57:59,958
‪期…最佳短期貸款，很棒

1118
00:58:00,041 --> 00:58:02,583
‪非常棒，繼續下去，提姆！

1119
00:58:03,083 --> 00:58:04,125
‪堅持下去

1120
00:58:06,083 --> 00:58:08,791
‪他媽的，嘿，露西
‪可以再來一杯邁泰嗎？

1121
00:58:09,333 --> 00:58:12,000
‪或許你去巴黎旅行需要現金

1122
00:58:12,541 --> 00:58:14,458
‪像這對小情侶

1123
00:58:21,291 --> 00:58:22,333
‪很甜蜜

1124
00:58:25,291 --> 00:58:27,208
‪這真無聊

1125
00:58:28,375 --> 00:58:30,750
‪到底是怎麼回事？

1126
00:58:31,416 --> 00:58:35,583
‪無論如何，你可以依靠我們
‪為你的房子提供抵押貸款

1127
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,041
‪帷幕背後一定有些超聰明的人

1128
00:58:38,541 --> 00:58:40,166
‪把那東西從我臉上移開

1129
00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:41,791
‪你放輕鬆吧，我把它縮起來了

1130
00:58:42,750 --> 00:58:45,625
‪眾所周知美國信用是…

1131
00:58:47,291 --> 00:58:49,333
‪不，這是表演一部分，表演一部分

1132
00:58:53,416 --> 00:58:54,333
‪他怎麼會想到？

1133
00:58:55,791 --> 00:58:59,666
‪無論人生遇到什麼事
‪像稅務詐騙或浴鹽

1134
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:03,250
‪美國信用都會助你一臂之力
‪讓你好好欣賞煙火

1135
00:59:08,833 --> 00:59:11,291
‪看起來好像有人從屁股發射檸檬

1136
00:59:14,583 --> 00:59:16,166
‪-去撿！
‪-我知道了

1137
00:59:16,250 --> 00:59:17,500
‪-撿起來
‪-行了

1138
00:59:21,041 --> 00:59:22,375
‪真是他媽的嗖嗖！

1139
00:59:22,458 --> 00:59:24,500
‪各位，我們在看偉大的藝術

1140
00:59:25,208 --> 00:59:26,041
‪為他們喝采！

1141
00:59:29,291 --> 00:59:31,166
‪好，西北銷售團隊！

1142
00:59:31,250 --> 00:59:32,916
‪請為西北銷售團隊熱烈鼓掌！

1143
00:59:35,083 --> 00:59:36,625
‪請為提姆莫里斯喝采！

1144
00:59:36,916 --> 00:59:38,250
‪我愛那傢伙！

1145
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:41,708
‪做得好！太棒了

1146
00:59:44,041 --> 00:59:46,291
‪真是太棒了！

1147
00:59:46,375 --> 00:59:47,666
‪好了，妳對他做了什麼？

1148
00:59:48,041 --> 00:59:48,875
‪他是誰？

1149
00:59:49,166 --> 00:59:50,500
‪溫斯頓，那個誰

1150
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:52,500
‪昨晚在房裡發生什麼事？

1151
00:59:52,791 --> 00:59:55,291
‪妳對我老闆做了什麼
‪讓他突然喜歡我？

1152
00:59:55,541 --> 00:59:58,541
‪不要看輕自己，提姆
‪你是非常討人喜歡的

1153
00:59:59,666 --> 01:00:03,041
‪可以說是我讓他完全被迷住

1154
01:00:03,333 --> 01:00:04,958
‪那是妳替他打手槍的代號

1155
01:00:05,041 --> 01:00:07,291
‪不，我不會替
‪你老闆的小弟弟打手槍

1156
01:00:07,791 --> 01:00:10,083
‪不，是“我催眠他”的代號

1157
01:00:10,375 --> 01:00:11,833
‪妳催眠他？

1158
01:00:11,916 --> 01:00:14,708
‪我在他的心靈深處游動時

1159
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:18,875
‪我發現傑克對一樣東西的愛至死不渝

1160
01:00:19,291 --> 01:00:20,125
‪他的奶奶

1161
01:00:20,833 --> 01:00:22,666
‪因此當他看見你時

1162
01:00:23,250 --> 01:00:24,666
‪就像看見奶奶

1163
01:00:25,041 --> 01:00:26,916
‪所以這傢伙以為我是他奶奶？

1164
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:28,333
‪別客氣

1165
01:00:32,916 --> 01:00:33,750
‪怎麼了？

1166
01:00:33,833 --> 01:00:36,500
‪美國信用！耶！

1167
01:00:37,458 --> 01:00:39,500
‪好，我們最後的表演

1168
01:00:39,583 --> 01:00:42,166
‪東南銷售團隊創作了

1169
01:00:42,541 --> 01:00:46,791
‪一個挺昂…昂“鬼”的音樂表演

1170
01:00:46,916 --> 01:00:48,791
‪率領演出的是他們的隊長

1171
01:00:48,916 --> 01:00:52,125
‪波特蘭的梭魚，潔西謝帕德！

1172
01:00:54,916 --> 01:00:56,791
‪是的，我算是催眠了他

1173
01:00:56,875 --> 01:00:59,541
‪讓他聽到她的名字
‪只會產生負面的思想

1174
01:01:09,125 --> 01:01:10,458
‪合適的員工

1175
01:01:11,041 --> 01:01:12,833
‪第一聯合是很棒的銀行

1176
01:01:13,250 --> 01:01:14,708
‪美國信用，第一等

1177
01:01:15,166 --> 01:01:17,291
‪但現在我們聯合起來了

1178
01:01:17,375 --> 01:01:19,125
‪你知道我們會非常強大

1179
01:01:19,208 --> 01:01:22,625
‪我們有合適的員工，寶貝

1180
01:01:23,916 --> 01:01:26,333
‪貸款利息很低，讓您笑咪咪

1181
01:01:27,625 --> 01:01:29,666
‪潔西謝帕德得到合適的員工

1182
01:01:30,125 --> 01:01:30,958
‪寶貝

1183
01:01:32,375 --> 01:01:34,791
‪傑克溫斯頓是我們唱這首歌的原因

1184
01:01:36,708 --> 01:01:38,500
‪為了您所有的銀行需要

1185
01:01:38,583 --> 01:01:40,125
‪我們會為您效勞

1186
01:01:40,208 --> 01:01:42,041
‪她是潔西謝帕德

1187
01:01:42,458 --> 01:01:44,666
‪她很合適

1188
01:01:45,541 --> 01:01:46,875
‪大家都知道我值得擁有

1189
01:01:47,250 --> 01:01:48,958
‪一間有景色的辦公室

1190
01:01:49,041 --> 01:01:51,708
‪這女孩的職業道德

1191
01:01:52,291 --> 01:01:53,708
‪是非常好的

1192
01:01:57,750 --> 01:01:58,583
‪嗖！

1193
01:02:00,791 --> 01:02:02,291
‪合適的員工

1194
01:02:02,833 --> 01:02:04,875
‪再來一次，潔西謝帕德！

1195
01:02:08,583 --> 01:02:11,625
‪好吧，我們的“菜藝”表演告一段落

1196
01:02:11,708 --> 01:02:13,208
‪提姆很明顯贏了，對嗎？

1197
01:02:13,750 --> 01:02:16,833
‪太厲害了，但是最好沒有危險

1198
01:02:16,916 --> 01:02:18,458
‪沒有危險，如果你想停止

1199
01:02:18,708 --> 01:02:20,958
‪你只要說出神奇的咒語
‪他就會從催眠醒過來

1200
01:02:21,458 --> 01:02:23,500
‪但如果有人意外地先說了怎麼辦？

1201
01:02:23,583 --> 01:02:24,583
‪沒有人會說的

1202
01:02:24,666 --> 01:02:27,333
‪這句話是“多毛的狼人陰道
‪有黃色的牙齒和舌頭”

1203
01:02:27,416 --> 01:02:29,250
‪天啊，就是這一句？

1204
01:02:29,333 --> 01:02:30,166
‪是

1205
01:02:31,458 --> 01:02:32,541
‪她在這裡

1206
01:02:32,625 --> 01:02:35,041
‪馬里蘭州小姐

1207
01:02:35,125 --> 01:02:36,458
‪天啊

1208
01:02:36,708 --> 01:02:38,291
‪提姆莫里斯怎麼了？

1209
01:02:38,875 --> 01:02:40,000
‪我愛這傢伙！

1210
01:02:42,083 --> 01:02:43,333
‪你讓我感到安全

1211
01:02:43,875 --> 01:02:44,958
‪我希望你長生不死

1212
01:02:47,708 --> 01:02:49,375
‪但眾所周知

1213
01:02:50,250 --> 01:02:53,166
‪在每個好男人背後
‪都有一個更好的女人

1214
01:02:54,750 --> 01:02:56,250
‪你要好好照顧這位女士啊

1215
01:02:57,291 --> 01:02:58,333
‪她是獨一無二，提姆

1216
01:02:58,416 --> 01:03:00,291
‪-完全沒錯
‪-繼續說吧

1217
01:03:04,750 --> 01:03:05,625
‪很不錯

1218
01:03:05,708 --> 01:03:07,583
‪我們待會見，再見

1219
01:03:10,625 --> 01:03:11,708
‪他講對了我的名字

1220
01:03:13,416 --> 01:03:14,375
‪妳是誰？

1221
01:03:14,625 --> 01:03:15,791
‪我是小妹醫生

1222
01:03:15,875 --> 01:03:19,625
‪我給你處方了
‪一些夏威夷龍蝦玉米片，提姆莫里斯

1223
01:03:19,875 --> 01:03:20,958
‪愛那傢伙！

1224
01:03:22,333 --> 01:03:23,166
‪潔西謝帕德

1225
01:03:24,916 --> 01:03:25,750
‪走吧

1226
01:03:31,250 --> 01:03:33,041
‪那麼妳是催眠師

1227
01:03:33,250 --> 01:03:37,666
‪救護員、治療師
‪靈媒、嚮導，還有什麼呢？

1228
01:03:37,750 --> 01:03:39,125
‪我會表演近距離的魔術

1229
01:03:40,125 --> 01:03:41,333
‪-好
‪-都在這裡

1230
01:03:41,416 --> 01:03:42,333
‪-準備好嗎？
‪-是

1231
01:03:44,291 --> 01:03:45,500
‪不在了

1232
01:03:45,625 --> 01:03:46,750
‪-騙到你了
‪-搞什麼鬼？

1233
01:03:46,833 --> 01:03:48,458
‪-在這裡
‪-妳從哪裡學來的？

1234
01:03:50,541 --> 01:03:54,125
‪嗯，當我爸爸離世時，我很孤獨

1235
01:03:54,666 --> 01:03:58,208
‪有人告訴我
‪上課是結識新朋友的好方法

1236
01:03:58,291 --> 01:04:00,166
‪所以我報名參加了一大堆課程

1237
01:04:00,250 --> 01:04:01,750
‪算是成了萬事通

1238
01:04:02,166 --> 01:04:03,250
‪-那很好
‪-對

1239
01:04:03,333 --> 01:04:05,166
‪對，我在飛機上
‪發現了妳在“性事”的技能

1240
01:04:05,250 --> 01:04:08,458
‪噢，對，那種“性事”
‪不，那是無師自通

1241
01:04:08,750 --> 01:04:11,500
‪-是真的嗎？
‪-用香蕉練習，每次都讓它脫皮

1242
01:04:11,625 --> 01:04:12,500
‪真的

1243
01:04:12,583 --> 01:04:14,208
‪對手是我，妳應該用四季豆練習

1244
01:04:14,291 --> 01:04:15,125
‪對啊！

1245
01:04:19,416 --> 01:04:20,875
‪-我是開玩笑
‪-不，你說得對！

1246
01:04:21,083 --> 01:04:22,125
‪不，我…

1247
01:04:22,416 --> 01:04:23,583
‪正正是那大小

1248
01:04:23,666 --> 01:04:26,666
‪-這反應真是無可再差
‪-對不起

1249
01:04:26,750 --> 01:04:29,083
‪-以我的身高體重來算，大小是正常
‪-好啦

1250
01:04:31,541 --> 01:04:33,083
‪對啦

1251
01:04:33,916 --> 01:04:35,833
‪那麼你準備好告訴我
‪你為何不喝酒嗎？

1252
01:04:36,583 --> 01:04:37,541
‪我可以告訴妳

1253
01:04:38,750 --> 01:04:40,125
‪我也有一點瘋狂

1254
01:04:40,208 --> 01:04:41,958
‪-真的嗎？好
‪-是的

1255
01:04:42,125 --> 01:04:44,166
‪我喝酒，喝醉了，然後我…

1256
01:04:44,750 --> 01:04:45,750
‪用雙手走路

1257
01:04:46,541 --> 01:04:48,250
‪好，聽起來不是那麼危險

1258
01:04:48,333 --> 01:04:51,458
‪當你在兄弟會會所屋頂上
‪用雙手走路，就會很危險

1259
01:04:51,541 --> 01:04:53,958
‪好，我覺得你在亂編故事，我不…

1260
01:04:54,041 --> 01:04:55,416
‪說真的，我從9,1米掉下來

1261
01:04:55,500 --> 01:04:57,958
‪不，我是說你
‪獲接納加入兄弟會，我不…

1262
01:04:58,041 --> 01:04:59,041
‪是說那個，是的

1263
01:04:59,125 --> 01:05:00,375
‪我不相信

1264
01:05:00,458 --> 01:05:01,750
‪-這真是一大侮辱
‪-對呀

1265
01:05:02,791 --> 01:05:03,625
‪等一下

1266
01:05:04,083 --> 01:05:05,625
‪（梅麗莎D：一切安好嗎？）

1267
01:05:05,916 --> 01:05:06,791
‪是誰？

1268
01:05:07,458 --> 01:05:08,375
‪不重要的人

1269
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:10,708
‪是你奶奶嗎？查看你的情況

1270
01:05:10,791 --> 01:05:12,583
‪發一些有品味的裸照給我

1271
01:05:14,375 --> 01:05:16,125
‪她只是確定我有好好待妳

1272
01:05:17,791 --> 01:05:19,625
‪你今晚要好好待我

1273
01:05:20,041 --> 01:05:21,791
‪所以你最好不要想著你奶奶

1274
01:05:23,750 --> 01:05:24,583
‪我們要上床

1275
01:05:25,958 --> 01:05:26,791
‪好

1276
01:05:36,541 --> 01:05:38,791
‪我打算在車庫裡
‪放一個熱水浴缸，我決定了

1277
01:05:48,416 --> 01:05:49,250
‪好的

1278
01:05:55,500 --> 01:05:56,333
‪好

1279
01:06:03,291 --> 01:06:04,166
‪嘿，舊情人

1280
01:06:05,041 --> 01:06:05,916
‪抱歉打擾妳

1281
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:08,375
‪我只是想跟提姆說幾句話

1282
01:06:08,458 --> 01:06:10,250
‪他去了拿點大麻

1283
01:06:10,458 --> 01:06:12,291
‪我們準備來一場性愛盛宴

1284
01:06:12,625 --> 01:06:13,500
‪-天啊
‪-對

1285
01:06:13,750 --> 01:06:15,875
‪我們覺得大麻抽嗨了
‪啃咬對方會更好玩

1286
01:06:17,083 --> 01:06:20,416
‪好的，沒問題，我遲些再找他聊

1287
01:06:20,500 --> 01:06:22,208
‪別走！他很快回來

1288
01:06:22,666 --> 01:06:23,583
‪進來吧

1289
01:06:24,083 --> 01:06:27,125
‪妳都知道他的招式
‪妳或許可以指點我一下

1290
01:06:28,750 --> 01:06:30,541
‪-應該只是一陣子吧
‪-對

1291
01:06:30,875 --> 01:06:32,041
‪他不是什麼怪人吧

1292
01:06:32,125 --> 01:06:35,250
‪我不需要在他屁股塗油
‪再讓他在硬木地板上溜來溜去吧？

1293
01:06:35,458 --> 01:06:36,500
‪-不用
‪-好的

1294
01:06:36,916 --> 01:06:38,708
‪我沒有真正的大麻

1295
01:06:38,791 --> 01:06:40,791
‪不然機場的保全人員會槍殺我，老兄

1296
01:06:41,041 --> 01:06:44,333
‪我有大麻牙膏

1297
01:06:44,833 --> 01:06:47,041
‪等等，大麻止汗劑

1298
01:06:47,541 --> 01:06:48,666
‪等等

1299
01:06:48,916 --> 01:06:51,166
‪大麻護唇膏，這是最好的東西，提姆

1300
01:06:51,416 --> 01:06:53,541
‪大麻生髮泡沫

1301
01:06:53,625 --> 01:06:56,625
‪老兄，你塗在頭髮
‪你的頭髮長出來，你便高得很

1302
01:06:57,166 --> 01:06:58,250
‪你真古怪

1303
01:06:58,333 --> 01:06:59,166
‪有用的

1304
01:06:59,916 --> 01:07:01,166
‪我塗了些在陰毛

1305
01:07:01,666 --> 01:07:03,291
‪我的陰毛是島上最濃密的

1306
01:07:04,458 --> 01:07:06,208
‪科曼特睡在我這裡

1307
01:07:06,625 --> 01:07:07,583
‪還有我會跟你回去

1308
01:07:07,666 --> 01:07:10,000
‪不，我說或許，科曼特，我說或許

1309
01:07:10,083 --> 01:07:11,458
‪-跟你一起
‪-不，我說或許

1310
01:07:11,541 --> 01:07:13,041
‪-或許你沒說或許
‪-我有說或許

1311
01:07:13,458 --> 01:07:14,291
‪或許什麼？

1312
01:07:15,458 --> 01:07:16,416
‪對了，到底發生什麼？

1313
01:07:16,500 --> 01:07:18,958
‪你為何不回覆馬里蘭州小姐？
‪你在搞什麼？

1314
01:07:19,541 --> 01:07:21,291
‪我想我開始喜歡上小妹

1315
01:07:22,083 --> 01:07:22,916
‪什麼？

1316
01:07:23,000 --> 01:07:24,958
‪我明白，我不清楚

1317
01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:25,916
‪兩個都上

1318
01:07:26,833 --> 01:07:29,333
‪我有…這裡有些大麻保險套

1319
01:07:29,416 --> 01:07:30,625
‪拿去用，我用不上

1320
01:07:30,708 --> 01:07:32,083
‪不，不用了，我就…

1321
01:07:32,458 --> 01:07:33,583
‪-讓我替你戴上去
‪-不要

1322
01:07:33,666 --> 01:07:34,500
‪讓我看你的小弟弟

1323
01:07:35,041 --> 01:07:35,875
‪不要

1324
01:07:36,750 --> 01:07:37,583
‪科曼特

1325
01:07:38,125 --> 01:07:39,041
‪重新塗抹

1326
01:07:39,375 --> 01:07:41,083
‪看那該死的說明，它寫著重新塗抹

1327
01:07:41,166 --> 01:07:43,375
‪-天啊
‪-你讓我他媽的嗨，是你幹的

1328
01:07:43,458 --> 01:07:44,291
‪科曼特，我…

1329
01:07:44,375 --> 01:07:46,458
‪不過他是，他這樣做！

1330
01:07:46,541 --> 01:07:48,083
‪-我知道！
‪-他有跟妳這樣做？

1331
01:07:48,208 --> 01:07:50,041
‪-每一晚
‪-我就是想知道

1332
01:07:50,125 --> 01:07:51,166
‪我不知道這是否新招

1333
01:07:52,291 --> 01:07:55,041
‪時間剛剛好，我們剛才在談論你

1334
01:07:55,125 --> 01:07:57,625
‪至少現在我知道
‪這旅程有什麼事情讓你耿耿於懷

1335
01:07:59,750 --> 01:08:02,166
‪跟這種性感寶貝分手
‪你怎麼可能不在意？

1336
01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:06,250
‪認真的！這美女在你眼中的優點
‪我通通都看見

1337
01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:09,291
‪你有一位很特別的情人

1338
01:08:11,166 --> 01:08:13,833
‪和我們一起，快點，過來這邊！

1339
01:08:14,291 --> 01:08:15,291
‪我不知道

1340
01:08:17,833 --> 01:08:19,875
‪多虧酒精給予的勇氣

1341
01:08:19,958 --> 01:08:21,541
‪我們這位舊情人

1342
01:08:21,625 --> 01:08:26,166
‪向我透露她仍然對你有很強的感覺

1343
01:08:26,708 --> 01:08:29,375
‪而我也非常肯定你也對她餘情未了

1344
01:08:30,041 --> 01:08:33,625
‪我不是合格的性治療師
‪至少還不是，還有兩堂課

1345
01:08:34,666 --> 01:08:36,541
‪但從我的經驗來看

1346
01:08:37,041 --> 01:08:40,000
‪我知道要了解男女會否有未來

1347
01:08:40,083 --> 01:08:42,625
‪還是完全沒戲可唱，唯一的方法

1348
01:08:42,708 --> 01:08:44,708
‪就是“坐巴士”

1349
01:08:46,833 --> 01:08:48,541
‪什麼東西，坐巴士？

1350
01:08:48,750 --> 01:08:50,250
‪B-U-S

1351
01:08:50,833 --> 01:08:51,875
‪分手後打炮

1352
01:08:52,666 --> 01:08:53,500
‪對

1353
01:08:53,583 --> 01:08:56,166
‪快點，你不可能對她完全沒有感覺

1354
01:08:56,250 --> 01:08:57,458
‪好，我…

1355
01:08:58,791 --> 01:09:00,416
‪這個…我覺得不自在

1356
01:09:00,750 --> 01:09:01,625
‪-很奇怪
‪-沒種

1357
01:09:01,708 --> 01:09:03,625
‪-好，沒關係
‪-小妹，我不會…

1358
01:09:04,333 --> 01:09:07,416
‪在和前度上床時，讓妳在房間外面等

1359
01:09:07,500 --> 01:09:09,500
‪我不會在外面，你這該死的笨蛋

1360
01:09:10,833 --> 01:09:12,083
‪我會和你們兩個做愛

1361
01:09:12,750 --> 01:09:14,083
‪是我們三個

1362
01:09:15,791 --> 01:09:19,250
‪這是讓我們邁步向前的唯一方法

1363
01:09:20,458 --> 01:09:23,208
‪要坐巴士了，我們留了最好座位給你

1364
01:09:23,666 --> 01:09:24,583
‪在我們臉上

1365
01:09:26,583 --> 01:09:27,541
‪等等

1366
01:09:28,416 --> 01:09:29,333
‪你有拿到大麻嗎？

1367
01:09:31,416 --> 01:09:32,250
‪算有吧

1368
01:11:08,958 --> 01:11:11,083
‪我還是不能相信昨晚發生的事

1369
01:11:11,416 --> 01:11:13,666
‪我大概不怎麼知道自己在做什麼

1370
01:11:13,916 --> 01:11:15,916
‪對呀，我知道
‪你用小弟弟磨蹭電源插座

1371
01:11:16,125 --> 01:11:18,500
‪很黑哩！我不知道在發生什麼事！

1372
01:11:19,000 --> 01:11:20,291
‪接下來的派對讓我很興奮

1373
01:11:20,375 --> 01:11:22,750
‪我知道，這是重頭戲，會很好玩

1374
01:11:23,291 --> 01:11:25,166
‪我想你可能穿得略為隆重

1375
01:11:25,291 --> 01:11:28,541
‪我知道大家有點騎牆觀望
‪不過併購會很大規模，老兄

1376
01:11:28,625 --> 01:11:30,708
‪對我大家都有幫助
‪我們會表現得超棒的

1377
01:11:30,791 --> 01:11:32,583
‪目睹事情的發展真讓人很興奮

1378
01:11:33,375 --> 01:11:34,333
‪什麼鬼…

1379
01:11:37,916 --> 01:11:41,041
‪里奇，這到底在發生什麼事？
‪派對本應會烤豬

1380
01:11:41,333 --> 01:11:43,333
‪不，溫斯頓在最後一刻徹底改變派對

1381
01:11:43,625 --> 01:11:45,125
‪他說希望大家回到過去

1382
01:11:45,208 --> 01:11:48,041
‪回到一個社會還未告訴你什麼可以做
‪什麼不可以做的時間

1383
01:11:48,125 --> 01:11:50,083
‪真古怪，你盯著這棵樹幹嘛？

1384
01:11:50,833 --> 01:11:52,250
‪該死的溫斯頓罰我不許玩

1385
01:11:53,500 --> 01:11:55,041
‪我還要多呆十分鐘

1386
01:11:55,125 --> 01:11:57,791
‪你繼續吧，那麼這事與妳有關

1387
01:11:57,916 --> 01:12:00,416
‪溫斯頓很在意大家對他的想法

1388
01:12:00,500 --> 01:12:02,333
‪他希望更無拘無束的思考

1389
01:12:02,666 --> 01:12:06,416
‪所以當他被催眠時
‪我叫他拋棄成年的束縛

1390
01:12:06,666 --> 01:12:08,208
‪-我猜他自己想出這辦法
‪-莫里斯先生？

1391
01:12:08,375 --> 01:12:10,916
‪溫斯頓先生在海裡進行面試

1392
01:12:11,291 --> 01:12:12,625
‪他想接下來會見你

1393
01:12:12,708 --> 01:12:15,000
‪不然他會告訴大家
‪你睡覺還要亮著夜明燈

1394
01:12:16,958 --> 01:12:17,958
‪長頸鹿，謝謝你

1395
01:12:18,250 --> 01:12:19,083
‪別客氣

1396
01:12:19,833 --> 01:12:22,416
‪我認為
‪我們需要研究出售資產抵押債券

1397
01:12:22,500 --> 01:12:25,166
‪好，在水底告訴我

1398
01:12:25,291 --> 01:12:26,125
‪不好意思？

1399
01:12:26,458 --> 01:12:28,333
‪在水底告訴我，我們是人魚

1400
01:12:28,583 --> 01:12:30,000
‪但你聽不懂我說什麼

1401
01:12:30,083 --> 01:12:32,833
‪我當然聽得懂，我們是人魚

1402
01:12:55,416 --> 01:12:56,291
‪如何？

1403
01:12:57,208 --> 01:12:58,125
‪我不喜歡

1404
01:12:58,666 --> 01:13:00,041
‪不過多謝妳來

1405
01:13:04,583 --> 01:13:06,458
‪-情況怎樣？
‪-我表現超棒

1406
01:13:06,750 --> 01:13:09,375
‪真的嗎？魚兒都在竊竊私語

1407
01:13:11,375 --> 01:13:12,750
‪該死，對不起

1408
01:13:13,250 --> 01:13:14,583
‪這他媽的糟透

1409
01:13:14,750 --> 01:13:16,625
‪對，這是濫權

1410
01:13:16,708 --> 01:13:17,750
‪提姆，快點

1411
01:13:18,375 --> 01:13:19,666
‪-啊呀
‪-好樣的！

1412
01:13:20,125 --> 01:13:21,041
‪幹得好！

1413
01:13:21,125 --> 01:13:22,125
‪過來！

1414
01:13:23,208 --> 01:13:24,708
‪用鰭肢！

1415
01:13:26,583 --> 01:13:28,375
‪莫里斯，你是一尾漂亮的美人魚

1416
01:13:29,125 --> 01:13:30,000
‪我來了！

1417
01:13:30,708 --> 01:13:33,333
‪自由暢泳，我的孩子，自由暢泳！

1418
01:13:34,166 --> 01:13:37,958
‪對！釋放你內心小孩的方法
‪我超愛的！

1419
01:13:39,750 --> 01:13:44,166
‪提姆，聽著
‪我很清楚你想當銷售部的總裁

1420
01:13:44,666 --> 01:13:45,833
‪不過我要坦白跟你說

1421
01:13:45,916 --> 01:13:48,333
‪潔西的營業額比你的好多了

1422
01:13:48,458 --> 01:13:49,833
‪她很擅長激勵別人

1423
01:13:50,708 --> 01:13:53,625
‪也很擅長在水底說話

1424
01:13:54,541 --> 01:13:57,625
‪但我感覺到，在我生病時

1425
01:13:57,708 --> 01:13:59,791
‪你是會送湯給我的那類人，是嗎？

1426
01:14:00,666 --> 01:14:03,708
‪對，一定，那是…當然

1427
01:14:03,791 --> 01:14:06,333
‪會跟我說故事
‪告訴我你在二戰後怎樣遇上爺爺

1428
01:14:07,166 --> 01:14:09,333
‪-對
‪-隨我愛吃多少巧克力也可以

1429
01:14:09,416 --> 01:14:10,791
‪不管爸媽說什麼

1430
01:14:11,291 --> 01:14:12,125
‪對

1431
01:14:12,208 --> 01:14:14,208
‪所以我決定憑直覺行事

1432
01:14:15,250 --> 01:14:16,166
‪準備好接受新崗位嗎？

1433
01:14:16,250 --> 01:14:18,000
‪我嗎？準備好！天啊！

1434
01:14:18,250 --> 01:14:21,125
‪-快來抱抱你的孫兒！
‪-好

1435
01:14:34,041 --> 01:14:36,375
‪我不知道妳向溫斯頓施了什麼魔法

1436
01:14:36,458 --> 01:14:38,166
‪不過這顯然奏效

1437
01:14:38,250 --> 01:14:39,916
‪噢，太好了，很高興妳留意到

1438
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:42,291
‪抱歉，不過妳丈夫的眼睛
‪我就沒辦法了

1439
01:14:43,583 --> 01:14:46,000
‪好，妳的通靈能力不怎麼出色吧？

1440
01:14:47,000 --> 01:14:48,958
‪妳甚至不知道妳不應該在這裡出現

1441
01:14:58,208 --> 01:15:00,250
‪我是說，我知道他是被催眠之類

1442
01:15:00,333 --> 01:15:02,416
‪不過他很認真

1443
01:15:02,583 --> 01:15:04,333
‪不管怎樣，我們絕對要慶祝

1444
01:15:05,041 --> 01:15:08,708
‪讓我清理掉全身的沙粒

1445
01:15:08,791 --> 01:15:10,500
‪然後我們去吃晚餐，好嗎？

1446
01:15:10,916 --> 01:15:13,208
‪妳不如帶上妳的朋友地獄之星？

1447
01:15:13,500 --> 01:15:14,583
‪她可能肚子餓了

1448
01:15:14,666 --> 01:15:16,458
‪告訴她我們要去吃晚餐

1449
01:15:16,625 --> 01:15:18,166
‪有主菜，有甜點

1450
01:15:18,250 --> 01:15:20,333
‪因為我是黑暗的克勞迪奧

1451
01:15:20,416 --> 01:15:22,000
‪很可怕，我不知道要怎樣變聲

1452
01:15:22,291 --> 01:15:25,000
‪妳的變聲比較好
‪妳要教我，好嗎？我的喉嚨很痛

1453
01:15:39,250 --> 01:15:41,583
{\an8}‪（我錯發短訊邀請別人來夏威夷
‪她是個瘋子！）

1454
01:15:41,666 --> 01:15:42,666
{\an8}‪（真希望妳在這裡）

1455
01:15:56,250 --> 01:15:57,125
‪小妹

1456
01:15:57,958 --> 01:16:00,833
‪我聽說有一隊本地樂團
‪妳在晚餐後想看他們表演嗎？

1457
01:16:00,916 --> 01:16:02,083
‪應該很好玩

1458
01:16:03,833 --> 01:16:04,708
‪妳覺得怎樣？

1459
01:16:05,583 --> 01:16:06,416
‪小妹？

1460
01:16:13,916 --> 01:16:16,625
‪（她是個瘋子！）

1461
01:16:17,250 --> 01:16:18,208
‪該死

1462
01:16:19,916 --> 01:16:20,750
‪小妹？

1463
01:16:22,083 --> 01:16:22,916
‪小妹

1464
01:16:24,791 --> 01:16:25,625
‪小妹

1465
01:16:27,833 --> 01:16:29,666
‪我來到了！驚喜吧

1466
01:16:31,750 --> 01:16:33,875
‪（你去死吧！）

1467
01:16:38,416 --> 01:16:39,458
‪天啊，見到你真好

1468
01:16:40,041 --> 01:16:41,333
‪航程很長

1469
01:16:41,416 --> 01:16:44,416
‪我很開心你的朋友潔西
‪昨天打給我，叫我來這裡

1470
01:16:44,500 --> 01:16:46,166
‪這裡很漂亮！

1471
01:16:47,000 --> 01:16:48,750
‪想帶個餓壞的女生吃午餐嗎？

1472
01:16:51,125 --> 01:16:53,958
‪真棒，美國信用的新總裁

1473
01:16:54,041 --> 01:16:57,583
‪你一定樂瘋了
‪他們安排寬敞的新辦公室給你嗎？

1474
01:16:58,625 --> 01:17:00,000
‪我還不知道

1475
01:17:00,083 --> 01:17:01,958
‪不管怎樣，很讓人興奮

1476
01:17:02,041 --> 01:17:03,333
‪飲料來了

1477
01:17:03,625 --> 01:17:06,125
‪一杯無酒精鳳梨可樂達
‪六小杯威士忌

1478
01:17:07,166 --> 01:17:08,416
‪我還以為你不喝酒

1479
01:17:08,500 --> 01:17:09,583
‪這些不是給我喝的

1480
01:17:12,333 --> 01:17:13,208
‪妳剛才說什麼？

1481
01:17:13,916 --> 01:17:15,208
‪我只是…

1482
01:17:18,250 --> 01:17:19,083
‪哇

1483
01:17:19,666 --> 01:17:20,750
‪我真的不想喝這酒

1484
01:17:20,833 --> 01:17:22,750
‪對，我知道

1485
01:17:27,916 --> 01:17:28,750
‪哇

1486
01:17:29,250 --> 01:17:30,291
‪你還好嗎？

1487
01:17:32,541 --> 01:17:34,125
‪嘿，妳想見識我的隱藏技能嗎？

1488
01:17:35,333 --> 01:17:37,291
‪好，當然好

1489
01:17:37,375 --> 01:17:38,875
‪我需要一條棍子麵包，不用了

1490
01:17:39,750 --> 01:17:40,583
‪好吧，開始

1491
01:17:45,416 --> 01:17:46,250
‪耶

1492
01:17:48,875 --> 01:17:49,708
‪哇

1493
01:17:52,416 --> 01:17:53,250
‪看看你

1494
01:17:53,666 --> 01:17:55,000
‪用手走路

1495
01:17:55,083 --> 01:17:56,333
‪我辦到了！看！

1496
01:17:56,416 --> 01:17:57,708
‪小心牆角

1497
01:18:01,083 --> 01:18:01,916
‪提姆！

1498
01:18:31,791 --> 01:18:33,791
‪提姆！

1499
01:18:34,083 --> 01:18:35,666
‪提姆！你還好嗎？

1500
01:18:36,125 --> 01:18:36,958
‪嘿，是妳

1501
01:18:37,583 --> 01:18:38,416
‪嗨

1502
01:18:39,833 --> 01:18:42,625
‪不，妳知道嗎，我不好，什麼也不好

1503
01:18:42,708 --> 01:18:43,833
‪我做錯了什麼嗎？

1504
01:18:44,750 --> 01:18:46,875
‪沒有，妳很完美

1505
01:18:47,166 --> 01:18:48,375
‪我們看同一本書

1506
01:18:48,458 --> 01:18:50,708
‪我們因為同樣的笑話而發笑

1507
01:18:51,416 --> 01:18:52,875
‪我們都長得很漂亮

1508
01:18:53,291 --> 01:18:54,333
‪妳他媽的性感

1509
01:18:54,791 --> 01:18:56,791
‪但我認識了別人

1510
01:18:56,875 --> 01:18:59,250
‪她很吵，幾乎算是有精神病

1511
01:18:59,333 --> 01:19:02,000
‪她隨身攜帶一把刀
‪但我想我愛上了她

1512
01:19:02,916 --> 01:19:04,333
‪我不知道，不過我很抱歉

1513
01:19:04,416 --> 01:19:06,083
‪提姆，沒關係

1514
01:19:06,375 --> 01:19:08,458
‪我是說，我們曾在儲藏室裡親熱

1515
01:19:08,541 --> 01:19:09,666
‪我想我沒事的

1516
01:19:09,916 --> 01:19:11,250
‪這女孩在哪？

1517
01:19:11,333 --> 01:19:13,416
‪她跑掉了

1518
01:19:14,041 --> 01:19:15,833
‪她飛走了，我傷了她的心！

1519
01:19:15,916 --> 01:19:19,000
‪什麼？她飛回去了？
‪我本應該跟她坐同一班機

1520
01:19:19,125 --> 01:19:20,666
‪我現在要他媽的搬到這裡？

1521
01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:25,500
‪嘿，妳可以把我的腳踝接回去嗎？

1522
01:19:27,750 --> 01:19:28,791
‪我不會啊

1523
01:19:30,041 --> 01:19:31,000
‪就是嘛

1524
01:19:40,791 --> 01:19:42,375
‪（回到波特蘭，可以聊聊嗎？）

1525
01:19:42,458 --> 01:19:43,791
‪（不）

1526
01:19:43,875 --> 01:19:45,875
‪（人事部尼特：
‪真糟！我們他媽的狂歡吧！）

1527
01:19:50,375 --> 01:19:52,625
‪（提姆：已經一星期了
‪我們何時可以聊？）

1528
01:19:52,708 --> 01:19:54,750
‪（小妹：
‪別、發、簡、訊、給、我）

1529
01:19:54,833 --> 01:19:58,250
‪（提姆：
‪最起碼可否讓我跟地獄之星說話？）

1530
01:20:04,333 --> 01:20:06,375
‪（沒有新訊息）

1531
01:20:08,416 --> 01:20:12,958
‪（外送平台送餐員：
‪我在外面，你的帕尼尼送到了）

1532
01:20:13,041 --> 01:20:14,458
‪（提姆：想一起去玩嗎？）

1533
01:20:14,541 --> 01:20:16,625
‪（外送平台送餐員：不要）

1534
01:20:17,541 --> 01:20:18,500
‪活出你們的人生

1535
01:20:18,583 --> 01:20:20,958
‪你要辭掉工作，所以…好的！

1536
01:20:21,041 --> 01:20:23,833
‪你要辭職，重新開始

1537
01:20:24,208 --> 01:20:26,333
‪你們全是小綿羊，活出你們的人生！

1538
01:20:28,416 --> 01:20:30,541
‪溫斯頓先生？提姆莫里斯來了

1539
01:20:32,625 --> 01:20:33,875
‪我愛那傢伙

1540
01:20:36,250 --> 01:20:37,083
‪提姆，怎麼了？

1541
01:20:37,958 --> 01:20:40,625
‪有新的工作，你是不是很興奮啊？
‪你的表現一直很棒

1542
01:20:40,708 --> 01:20:43,291
‪多毛的狼人陰道有黃色的牙齒和舌頭

1543
01:20:46,375 --> 01:20:48,500
‪慢著，你不是我的奶奶！

1544
01:20:49,041 --> 01:20:50,666
‪-沒錯
‪-滾出去

1545
01:20:51,041 --> 01:20:52,791
‪我會收拾好我的辦公室

1546
01:20:55,916 --> 01:20:57,875
‪（聯合酒吧）

1547
01:21:03,375 --> 01:21:07,333
‪（在吧台，紅髮，黑色外套
‪很心急想見你）

1548
01:21:10,291 --> 01:21:13,708
{\an8}‪（971-555-0188：
‪也在吧台！黑色帽子，黑色運動衫）

1549
01:21:25,833 --> 01:21:26,791
‪嘿，怎麼了？

1550
01:21:27,625 --> 01:21:28,958
‪你是“香草冰”

1551
01:21:29,250 --> 01:21:30,583
‪他媽的不是吧

1552
01:21:30,833 --> 01:21:32,916
‪-想跟我一起坐嗎？
‪-樂意至極！

1553
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:36,166
‪好的，兩杯龍舌蘭酒
‪我們要他媽的狂歡

1554
01:21:36,250 --> 01:21:38,375
‪-妳的酒要加冰冰嗎？
‪-對！

1555
01:21:40,166 --> 01:21:42,583
‪酒要加冰冰，寶貝！耶！

1556
01:21:42,666 --> 01:21:46,083
‪天啊，哇，我們今晚會打炮嗎？

1557
01:21:47,291 --> 01:21:49,000
‪你為什麼要在交友程式上泡妹？

1558
01:21:49,625 --> 01:21:50,625
‪花花公子要獵艷

1559
01:21:51,875 --> 01:21:53,000
‪“花花公子要…”

1560
01:21:53,083 --> 01:21:54,458
‪嘿，小妹

1561
01:21:54,750 --> 01:21:56,250
‪你他媽的在這裡幹什麼？

1562
01:21:56,333 --> 01:21:58,416
‪給妳發簡訊的人是我，是我啊

1563
01:21:58,500 --> 01:22:00,750
‪不，是香草冰給我發簡訊

1564
01:22:01,083 --> 01:22:05,291
‪不是，我們認識那天妳跟我開的玩笑
‪我依樣畫葫蘆

1565
01:22:05,375 --> 01:22:06,291
‪不對

1566
01:22:06,583 --> 01:22:10,041
‪簡訊寫的是黑色帽子和黑色運動衫
‪而不是無恥的假髮

1567
01:22:10,125 --> 01:22:10,958
‪再見

1568
01:22:11,458 --> 01:22:12,833
‪不是我

1569
01:22:13,625 --> 01:22:15,333
‪羅伯，是你

1570
01:22:15,416 --> 01:22:18,750
‪我真希望是我
‪但祝妳跟蝦串發展順利

1571
01:22:20,291 --> 01:22:21,583
‪你是我的約會對象？

1572
01:22:22,083 --> 01:22:22,916
‪對

1573
01:22:24,166 --> 01:22:25,125
‪他媽的

1574
01:22:25,958 --> 01:22:27,208
‪天啊，他很性感

1575
01:22:27,291 --> 01:22:28,750
‪還有我不要跟你說話

1576
01:22:28,833 --> 01:22:30,125
‪等等，我只想告訴妳

1577
01:22:31,833 --> 01:22:34,875
‪我想念妳，我很抱歉發生了那些事

1578
01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:37,750
‪-好
‪-聽著，不，讓我…

1579
01:22:38,833 --> 01:22:40,125
‪不能給我第二次機會嗎？

1580
01:22:41,541 --> 01:22:42,458
‪提姆，我不知道

1581
01:22:44,333 --> 01:22:47,583
‪聽著，我不想當老是一本正經的傢伙

1582
01:22:47,666 --> 01:22:50,625
‪或是容許我老闆的讚許

1583
01:22:50,708 --> 01:22:52,958
‪掩蓋我生命中有意義的一切

1584
01:22:53,375 --> 01:22:55,041
‪所以我今天辭掉了工作

1585
01:22:55,125 --> 01:22:56,958
‪我是說，去他的，我想去旅行

1586
01:22:57,041 --> 01:22:59,625
‪我想走出去，然後…

1587
01:23:00,125 --> 01:23:01,166
‪自由自在

1588
01:23:01,583 --> 01:23:02,708
‪我想當個快活人

1589
01:23:02,916 --> 01:23:04,958
‪我不想為真我而感到歉疚

1590
01:23:05,416 --> 01:23:08,041
‪自己一無所知的東西
‪我想有堅定的意見

1591
01:23:08,625 --> 01:23:10,541
‪我想攜帶大砍刀，我想…

1592
01:23:12,458 --> 01:23:13,416
‪我想跟妳一樣

1593
01:23:15,666 --> 01:23:18,458
‪這一切都在我預期之外
‪但我很慶幸發生了這些事

1594
01:23:19,625 --> 01:23:21,041
‪只是數星期的事，不過…

1595
01:23:22,708 --> 01:23:24,583
‪沒有妳的生活，我不怎麼喜歡

1596
01:23:30,916 --> 01:23:33,041
‪妳接受這朵玫瑰花嗎？

1597
01:23:36,333 --> 01:23:38,833
‪好吧，不過今晚我跟你愛愛時
‪要把你幻想成香草冰

1598
01:23:40,041 --> 01:23:41,625
‪我們不如請他本人加入？

1599
01:23:42,416 --> 01:23:44,000
‪休想，小蝦雞雞

1600
01:23:45,708 --> 01:23:48,000
‪他拒絕了嗎？真尷尬

1601
01:23:53,708 --> 01:23:55,791
‪我要替J.J.點一杯印度香料茶冰沙

1602
01:25:25,916 --> 01:25:28,458
‪這是去波特蘭的正確航道吧
‪科曼特？

1603
01:25:28,541 --> 01:25:30,541
‪對，絕對是…就是這航道

1604
01:25:30,625 --> 01:25:32,333
‪我之前駛過這航道，我想

1605
01:25:32,875 --> 01:25:35,916
‪好的，我們離開時
‪全球定位系統說我們12天後會抵達

1606
01:25:36,000 --> 01:25:37,875
‪12天、星期，都很好

1607
01:25:37,958 --> 01:25:40,041
‪我們很快會到那邊的海岸

1608
01:25:40,625 --> 01:25:42,458
‪-我見不到海岸
‪-什麼？

1609
01:25:43,375 --> 01:25:45,125
‪我見不到海岸

1610
01:25:45,208 --> 01:25:48,166
‪不，當你看到海岸時
‪你便沿海岸往右轉

1611
01:25:48,250 --> 01:25:51,291
‪我要告訴你
‪我開始有點失去信心，科曼特

1612
01:25:51,375 --> 01:25:52,208
‪別失去信心

1613
01:25:52,291 --> 01:25:55,541
‪如果你有多一點頭髮
‪你的信心或許會多一點

1614
01:25:55,625 --> 01:25:57,125
‪我用了一款泡沫，真的有用

1615
01:25:57,208 --> 01:25:59,458
‪我很驚訝
‪你沒有留意到我長得露出來的陰毛

1616
01:25:59,541 --> 01:26:01,291
‪-那些是陰毛嗎？
‪-是

1617
01:26:01,375 --> 01:26:02,625
‪我還以為你繫了皮帶

1618
01:26:02,708 --> 01:26:03,791
‪不，沒有皮帶

1619
01:26:03,875 --> 01:26:06,000
‪你試著拉一拉它，來，跟皮帶一樣好

1620
01:26:06,083 --> 01:26:08,666
‪不用了，我們繼續划吧

1621
01:26:08,958 --> 01:26:11,166
‪好吧，太陽下山後
‪你想拉什麼也可以

1622
01:29:16,958 --> 01:29:18,958
‪字幕翻譯：李恒聰