1 00:00:33,477 --> 00:00:35,345 Shoppers already? 2 00:00:35,412 --> 00:00:36,881 Hey, Monty, I'm getting outta here, man. 3 00:00:36,948 --> 00:00:38,248 It's Thanksgiving. 4 00:00:40,151 --> 00:00:42,486 What time did they start showing up last year? 5 00:00:43,688 --> 00:00:45,890 - About noon. - Noon? 6 00:00:49,127 --> 00:00:50,661 Freaking vultures! 7 00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:13,484 Oh, shit. 8 00:01:46,283 --> 00:01:47,819 What the fuck is that? 9 00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:20,417 Monty. 10 00:02:20,484 --> 00:02:23,520 Yo, Monty! 11 00:02:30,695 --> 00:02:33,064 Oh, what the fuck, Monty? 12 00:02:33,131 --> 00:02:35,365 You had one job. 13 00:02:35,432 --> 00:02:36,935 Jesus Christ. 14 00:02:39,771 --> 00:02:42,874 Monty? 15 00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:46,563 All right, influencers, time to go. 16 00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:49,300 Come on. Mom's is boring. 17 00:04:49,367 --> 00:04:51,703 Mom's house isn't boring. 18 00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,604 Her and Grant are... 19 00:04:54,671 --> 00:04:56,307 well, they're kinda lame. 20 00:04:56,374 --> 00:04:58,876 - He uses Axe body spray. - I know. 21 00:04:58,943 --> 00:05:01,312 And he farts, like, all the time. 22 00:05:01,379 --> 00:05:03,681 Come on, Dad. We had Thanksgiving breakfast. 23 00:05:03,748 --> 00:05:05,850 Talk about sad. 24 00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:07,018 Mom's waiting. Let's go. 25 00:05:07,085 --> 00:05:09,253 Come on, let's go. Come on, kiddo. 26 00:05:11,621 --> 00:05:13,257 Why do you have to work on Thanksgiving, Dad? 27 00:05:13,324 --> 00:05:14,959 It's not fair. 28 00:05:17,362 --> 00:05:19,663 Listen, kiddo. 29 00:05:19,731 --> 00:05:22,467 Heroes work on the holidays, okay? 30 00:05:22,532 --> 00:05:25,703 Cops, firefighters, your dad. 31 00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,639 Come on. Come on, let's go. 32 00:05:29,707 --> 00:05:31,075 - Come on. - I love you, Daddy. 33 00:05:31,142 --> 00:05:33,144 I love you too, baby. Give me a big hug. 34 00:05:33,211 --> 00:05:34,979 Oh, big squishes. 35 00:05:36,114 --> 00:05:37,749 Hey, hey. 36 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:41,419 Grant does not work today. 37 00:05:41,486 --> 00:05:43,921 Take that for what you will, okay? 38 00:05:43,988 --> 00:05:46,290 Okay, get out here. Love you. I love you. 39 00:05:50,161 --> 00:05:52,196 That's a sweater, huh? 40 00:06:13,484 --> 00:06:15,953 Has anyone seen my hand sanitizer? 41 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:18,056 Uh, check the drawer in the foyer. 42 00:06:18,122 --> 00:06:20,024 Yeah, maybe check that shithole you call a room. 43 00:06:21,159 --> 00:06:22,592 - Hey, pass the pie, will ya? - Yeah. 44 00:06:22,659 --> 00:06:24,062 Hey, has anyone seen a new one? 45 00:06:24,128 --> 00:06:25,096 Uh, check the... 46 00:06:25,163 --> 00:06:26,531 Oh! My pocket's got it. 47 00:06:26,596 --> 00:06:27,698 Honey, I think your ride's here. 48 00:06:27,765 --> 00:06:28,699 Christopher, we're trying to enjoy 49 00:06:28,766 --> 00:06:30,368 Thanksgiving dinner, okay? 50 00:06:31,235 --> 00:06:33,438 - You have to work all weekend? - I don't know. 51 00:06:33,504 --> 00:06:35,206 Is Dad still charging me rent? 52 00:06:36,741 --> 00:06:38,443 All weekend. I love you guys. 53 00:06:38,509 --> 00:06:40,044 Happy Thanksgiving, honey. 54 00:06:41,779 --> 00:06:43,081 Happy Black Friday. 55 00:06:55,293 --> 00:06:58,662 Coming to the ring, weighing 35 pounds, 56 00:06:58,729 --> 00:07:00,765 looking like an absolute vegetarian... 57 00:07:00,832 --> 00:07:02,033 Whoo-whoo-whoo! 58 00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,068 Chris Godecki! 59 00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:08,638 What's up, buddy? 60 00:07:08,706 --> 00:07:10,408 Come on. Turn that frown upside down. 61 00:07:10,475 --> 00:07:13,244 You look like you don't want to be working on Thanksgiving. 62 00:07:13,311 --> 00:07:14,946 Oh, nice booster seat. 63 00:07:15,012 --> 00:07:16,881 Got any juice boxes for after the game? 64 00:07:18,116 --> 00:07:20,518 The booster seat's for you, little man. 65 00:07:28,059 --> 00:07:29,393 I hate that this shift is something 66 00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:30,828 I've done more than once. 67 00:07:32,130 --> 00:07:34,065 So you're feeling good, then? 68 00:07:34,132 --> 00:07:35,766 It's like, everyone's at home watching football, 69 00:07:35,833 --> 00:07:37,468 eating pumpkin pie. 70 00:07:37,535 --> 00:07:38,736 This is so depressing. 71 00:07:38,803 --> 00:07:41,005 Buddy, I had to hand my kids off 72 00:07:41,072 --> 00:07:43,508 to their mother at sundown. 73 00:07:43,574 --> 00:07:47,111 Gracie remarked how sad it was we had Thanksgiving breakfast. 74 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:51,883 That almost makes me feel better. 75 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:54,452 We Luv Toys loves Black Friday deals, 76 00:07:54,519 --> 00:07:56,387 so come on down! 77 00:08:02,260 --> 00:08:03,261 That's weird. 78 00:08:03,327 --> 00:08:04,695 Why would they be closed tonight? 79 00:08:04,762 --> 00:08:07,598 Whoa! Whoa! 80 00:08:07,664 --> 00:08:09,267 I guarantee that was some soccer mom 81 00:08:09,333 --> 00:08:11,636 high on the thrill of being a douche. 82 00:08:11,702 --> 00:08:14,405 - Black Friday massacre. - Yeah. 83 00:08:21,345 --> 00:08:23,514 Oh, I don't... I don't feel good. 84 00:08:23,581 --> 00:08:25,449 You're fine. 85 00:08:38,329 --> 00:08:41,065 Go clock in. You don't want to talk to me for free. 86 00:08:41,132 --> 00:08:42,767 Ready for the shit show? 87 00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,635 What's up, man? 88 00:08:54,779 --> 00:08:56,147 I'd say be careful, 89 00:08:56,214 --> 00:08:58,416 but I bet you're tougher than any guy here. 90 00:08:58,482 --> 00:09:00,451 You're too sweet. 91 00:09:00,518 --> 00:09:01,687 All set in the back? 92 00:09:01,752 --> 00:09:03,187 Should be. Keys are in the truck 93 00:09:03,254 --> 00:09:05,356 and I've got a shit ton of toys to unload. 94 00:09:05,423 --> 00:09:07,358 Thanks, Lou. Your work's appreciated. 95 00:09:11,229 --> 00:09:12,563 Thought we said we weren't gonna wear 96 00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:14,131 the same outfits tonight. 97 00:09:14,198 --> 00:09:16,702 Man, I guess you should just go home, then. 98 00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:19,203 Huh. Don't tempt me. 99 00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:20,838 You brought the shopping carts back in, right? 100 00:09:20,905 --> 00:09:22,773 Yeah, you bet. 101 00:09:25,309 --> 00:09:26,377 Knock, knock. 102 00:09:27,845 --> 00:09:29,447 Who's there? 103 00:09:29,513 --> 00:09:30,581 A doughnut. 104 00:09:30,648 --> 00:09:32,316 A doughnut who? 105 00:09:34,151 --> 00:09:36,220 I doughnut fucking believe you. 106 00:09:38,089 --> 00:09:40,258 We still on for pancakes tonight? 107 00:09:40,324 --> 00:09:41,892 Are you buying? 108 00:09:41,959 --> 00:09:43,361 I don't think we've ever been introduced. 109 00:09:43,427 --> 00:09:45,763 I'm the artist formerly known as half to my ex. 110 00:09:49,735 --> 00:09:51,535 Hey, let me get my holiday bonus. 111 00:09:51,602 --> 00:09:52,837 Nice try, Bates, 112 00:09:52,903 --> 00:09:54,905 but you get it when you clock out at 6:00. 113 00:09:56,207 --> 00:09:57,875 6:00? 114 00:09:57,942 --> 00:10:01,912 That's a ten-hour descent into hell! 115 00:10:01,979 --> 00:10:03,314 Oh, my back. 116 00:10:04,448 --> 00:10:05,516 We've got "I-View Sky" 117 00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:07,351 reporting on tonight's meteor showers. 118 00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:09,453 We've got tips on how to snap 119 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,322 the perfect meteor... 120 00:10:11,389 --> 00:10:13,124 It's okay to be sad, depressed, and even suicidal. 121 00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:14,458 Toy does not come with any chokeable parts 122 00:10:14,525 --> 00:10:16,060 - or pieces that can be... - Thanks, Sandy. 123 00:10:16,127 --> 00:10:17,528 And reports are telling us now 124 00:10:17,595 --> 00:10:19,630 people should go nowhere near these things. 125 00:10:19,698 --> 00:10:22,233 And Chucky says we're all going to die. 126 00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,468 Alice, who really told you that? 127 00:10:26,003 --> 00:10:27,471 Corporate sent cake? 128 00:10:27,538 --> 00:10:28,839 You don't have to eat it. 129 00:10:28,906 --> 00:10:30,641 It's just nice to know they... care. 130 00:10:30,709 --> 00:10:32,744 They don't care about shit. 131 00:10:32,810 --> 00:10:33,944 I'll take it to the storage area. 132 00:10:34,011 --> 00:10:35,846 Archie's guys will eat it. 133 00:10:44,021 --> 00:10:45,856 Yo, Godecki, you see the line out there? 134 00:10:47,491 --> 00:10:50,061 Yeah, it's like something out of my nightmares. 135 00:10:50,828 --> 00:10:52,229 Are you kidding me? Old man Peruso 136 00:10:52,296 --> 00:10:54,165 offered to give me a handy in the back alley 137 00:10:54,231 --> 00:10:56,267 if I promised to save him a Dour Dennis. 138 00:10:57,902 --> 00:10:59,203 Congrats. 139 00:11:00,604 --> 00:11:02,106 Christopher. 140 00:11:02,173 --> 00:11:03,641 Happy Black Friday, Anita. 141 00:11:03,709 --> 00:11:06,243 Green Friday. 142 00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:07,244 What? 143 00:11:07,311 --> 00:11:09,213 Corporate said Black Friday was racist, 144 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,750 so they changed it to Green Friday. 145 00:11:11,817 --> 00:11:14,686 Green like Christmas and money. 146 00:11:14,753 --> 00:11:16,253 Good to know. 147 00:11:17,789 --> 00:11:20,124 Your undershirt is untucked. 148 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,094 That's grounds for a write-up. 149 00:11:29,835 --> 00:11:31,268 Hey, guys. 150 00:11:31,335 --> 00:11:33,637 Hey, Daddy's at work. Look. 151 00:11:33,705 --> 00:11:36,073 Ho, ho, ho, ho! 152 00:11:42,613 --> 00:11:45,216 - Jesus fucking Christ, man. - Come on, please. 153 00:11:45,282 --> 00:11:47,051 - Fuck. - Bathroom. 154 00:11:47,118 --> 00:11:49,520 - Okay, okay. - I'm parking a Buick, man. 155 00:11:49,587 --> 00:11:51,322 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 156 00:11:51,389 --> 00:11:53,692 It's in the back room, okay? 157 00:12:07,873 --> 00:12:09,708 Black Friday. 158 00:12:09,775 --> 00:12:11,642 What a bunch of suckers. 159 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:24,823 Shit! 160 00:12:27,859 --> 00:12:29,427 Yo, Chris! 161 00:12:31,362 --> 00:12:34,298 Yo, Chris, open up! I'm locked out here again, bro. 162 00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:38,436 Chris, come on! 163 00:12:38,502 --> 00:12:40,237 Don't make me take the main entrance with those... 164 00:12:40,304 --> 00:12:42,440 Shoppers. 165 00:12:48,345 --> 00:12:49,313 My man. 166 00:12:49,380 --> 00:12:51,115 You know I hold things down. 167 00:12:51,182 --> 00:12:54,218 That's "hold you down." 168 00:12:54,285 --> 00:12:56,454 I'll... I'll get it, I swear. 169 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,122 Thank you. 170 00:12:58,189 --> 00:13:00,291 How about a nonsexual back rub? 171 00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:02,026 Please don't. 172 00:13:02,092 --> 00:13:03,795 All right. 173 00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:06,197 More for me then, right? 174 00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:08,399 You see they gave Anita employee of the month again? 175 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:11,202 Yeah, I saw that. 176 00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,237 Fucking Jonathan, right? 177 00:13:13,304 --> 00:13:15,539 I came in early five times this pay period. 178 00:13:15,606 --> 00:13:17,742 He made me learn how to work a fucking forklift 179 00:13:17,809 --> 00:13:19,243 all for nothing. 180 00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:20,411 It might come in handy 181 00:13:20,478 --> 00:13:23,314 if you ever need to do some forklifting. 182 00:13:24,148 --> 00:13:25,817 Everybody listen up. 183 00:13:37,161 --> 00:13:41,232 Happy Black Friday, We Luv Toys. 184 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,534 Some quick notes before we open our doors. 185 00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:46,570 First off... 186 00:13:46,637 --> 00:13:48,439 From OSHA. 187 00:13:48,506 --> 00:13:50,809 Uh, statistically when it comes to retail, 188 00:13:50,876 --> 00:13:54,545 there's no day more harmful to retail workers than this day. 189 00:13:54,612 --> 00:13:56,948 Remember, OSHA changed their rules 190 00:13:57,014 --> 00:13:59,550 after somebody was trampled to death. 191 00:13:59,617 --> 00:14:03,454 So look out for each other, okay? 192 00:14:03,521 --> 00:14:06,223 Also, Dour Dennis has been recalled, 193 00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:08,559 so if anybody asks for it, we don't have it. 194 00:14:08,626 --> 00:14:09,694 We never had it. 195 00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:11,662 Some safety issue with the battery. 196 00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:13,564 I'm not... I'm not... I'm not doing well. 197 00:14:13,631 --> 00:14:15,332 Doing well... doing... doing... doing well... doing well. 198 00:14:15,399 --> 00:14:18,970 I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm exhausted, exhausted. 199 00:14:19,036 --> 00:14:20,739 Uh, finally, 200 00:14:20,805 --> 00:14:24,943 um, corporate has contacted me to inform you 201 00:14:25,010 --> 00:14:28,445 that they will not be able to offer paid breaks tonight. 202 00:14:28,512 --> 00:14:30,414 Thank you for your understanding. 203 00:14:30,481 --> 00:14:32,650 Fuck this. 204 00:14:34,118 --> 00:14:36,453 Let's quell this sitch, please. 205 00:14:41,392 --> 00:14:44,194 I know that this is not ideal, 206 00:14:44,261 --> 00:14:47,364 but this is a really big night. 207 00:14:47,431 --> 00:14:50,568 I would hate for a sour mood to ruin our sales. 208 00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:52,469 What about our holiday bonus? 209 00:14:52,536 --> 00:14:54,305 Corporate promised us time and a half 210 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:55,740 for the holiday weekend. 211 00:14:56,908 --> 00:14:58,542 Yes. 212 00:14:58,609 --> 00:15:01,412 That is still... 213 00:15:01,478 --> 00:15:02,681 yes. 214 00:15:03,581 --> 00:15:05,115 All right, game faces, team. 215 00:15:05,182 --> 00:15:07,217 I want smiles. 216 00:15:07,284 --> 00:15:09,587 What do we love? 217 00:15:09,653 --> 00:15:11,088 Toys! 218 00:15:15,626 --> 00:15:17,494 Ugh. 219 00:15:17,561 --> 00:15:21,465 I got a migra... migraine. 220 00:15:21,532 --> 00:15:23,400 My back hurts, hurts, hurts. 221 00:15:25,102 --> 00:15:27,338 Chris, back here. 222 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:29,473 I'm not myself. 223 00:15:29,540 --> 00:15:31,843 You're on reg for the night. 224 00:15:31,910 --> 00:15:33,344 All night? 225 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:36,480 We're short-staffed. We need the coverage up front. 226 00:15:36,547 --> 00:15:39,249 I'm not doing well, well, well. 227 00:15:39,316 --> 00:15:41,753 Looks like your massage will have to wait. 228 00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:43,120 Bye, Chris. 229 00:15:43,187 --> 00:15:44,388 Yet others are going through much worse, 230 00:15:44,455 --> 00:15:46,223 through much worse. 231 00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:48,793 Wait, Mister? Wait up. 232 00:15:51,295 --> 00:15:53,397 Marnie said I should shadow you. 233 00:15:53,464 --> 00:15:55,633 I'm Emmett, but you can call me Em. 234 00:15:57,736 --> 00:15:58,937 No, I can't. 235 00:16:00,739 --> 00:16:02,807 You, uh... 236 00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:04,809 you ever work retail before? 237 00:16:04,876 --> 00:16:06,343 - Never. - No? 238 00:16:07,277 --> 00:16:10,547 Well, uh... 239 00:16:10,614 --> 00:16:12,483 I'm gonna let you in on a little secret 240 00:16:12,549 --> 00:16:14,953 only a pro like me knows. 241 00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:17,221 Yeah. 242 00:16:17,287 --> 00:16:20,491 When I find myself in a pickle... 243 00:16:20,557 --> 00:16:25,864 I take a deep breath and I think to myself... 244 00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:27,699 "What would an idiot do?" 245 00:16:27,766 --> 00:16:30,334 For example, okay? 246 00:16:30,401 --> 00:16:32,169 If some crazy lady comes up to me and asks me, 247 00:16:32,236 --> 00:16:33,705 "Where's the Duncan yo-yos?" 248 00:16:33,772 --> 00:16:35,272 I'd... 249 00:16:35,339 --> 00:16:37,207 Escort them to the yo-yo section and then... 250 00:16:37,274 --> 00:16:38,777 No. 251 00:16:38,843 --> 00:16:41,112 No. No. You're already trying too hard. 252 00:16:41,178 --> 00:16:42,814 You point them in the direction of fucking wherever 253 00:16:42,881 --> 00:16:45,382 - and they'll find it, yeah? - Yeah. 254 00:16:45,449 --> 00:16:46,450 - Okay? - Yeah. 255 00:16:46,517 --> 00:16:47,752 - All right? - Okay. 256 00:16:47,819 --> 00:16:49,087 All right, get on out of here, youngster. 257 00:16:49,154 --> 00:16:51,188 Hey, team, remember: 258 00:16:51,255 --> 00:16:53,091 no matter how bad these suburban savages 259 00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:55,559 get under your skin, the customer is always right. 260 00:16:55,626 --> 00:16:57,962 Whoo! Yes! It's go time. 261 00:16:58,029 --> 00:16:59,329 Places, everyone. 262 00:16:59,396 --> 00:17:01,933 Smiles, please. Holiday cheer. 263 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:08,106 I want faces that love toys. 264 00:17:08,173 --> 00:17:11,710 Brian, unleash the beast in... 265 00:17:11,776 --> 00:17:12,777 five... 266 00:17:14,179 --> 00:17:16,014 Four, 267 00:17:16,081 --> 00:17:18,615 three, 268 00:17:18,683 --> 00:17:20,284 two. 269 00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:21,786 Go, baby! 270 00:17:21,853 --> 00:17:24,321 Go, Black Friday! 271 00:17:45,777 --> 00:17:47,011 Stop it! 272 00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:03,895 Aw, man! 273 00:18:24,916 --> 00:18:26,650 Good job. 274 00:18:29,553 --> 00:18:31,790 Thank you very much. Happy holidays. 275 00:18:34,491 --> 00:18:35,592 Will you hurry up? 276 00:18:35,659 --> 00:18:36,861 Ma'am, I'm trying. 277 00:18:36,928 --> 00:18:39,296 Oh, get it together, dickless! 278 00:18:47,138 --> 00:18:48,305 Ugh. 279 00:18:52,309 --> 00:18:54,344 Hey, my turn. 280 00:19:00,852 --> 00:19:02,653 Oh, oh! 281 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:06,257 Oh, I must have been good this year! 282 00:19:06,323 --> 00:19:07,959 Oh, Santa! 283 00:19:11,062 --> 00:19:12,063 What's the sitch here? 284 00:19:12,130 --> 00:19:15,266 Oh, pussy boy here is taking forever. 285 00:19:15,332 --> 00:19:16,968 There's, like, jam in the keyboard. 286 00:19:17,035 --> 00:19:18,435 Ah. 287 00:19:20,738 --> 00:19:21,739 Sorry, folks, looks like I'm gonna 288 00:19:21,806 --> 00:19:23,241 have to shut this lane down. 289 00:19:26,311 --> 00:19:28,880 Ma'am, if you would head back to the Santa's rear village, 290 00:19:28,947 --> 00:19:31,115 - someone will meet you there. - Ugh! 291 00:19:31,182 --> 00:19:32,884 Dude, what the hell? 292 00:19:34,052 --> 00:19:35,186 Full discloszh, 293 00:19:35,253 --> 00:19:38,522 some guy just blew chunks all over the ride-ons. 294 00:19:38,589 --> 00:19:40,024 You're cleaning it up. 295 00:19:43,194 --> 00:19:45,096 Th-throw up? Um... 296 00:19:45,163 --> 00:19:47,131 it's... it's a little germy, no? 297 00:19:47,198 --> 00:19:49,499 What about the floor workers? 298 00:19:49,566 --> 00:19:52,469 But I thought you preferred the floor. 299 00:19:53,738 --> 00:19:55,707 Sawdust's in the maint's closet. 300 00:20:00,044 --> 00:20:02,446 Ah, these fucking idiot customers. 301 00:20:04,716 --> 00:20:06,217 Idiots! 302 00:20:06,284 --> 00:20:08,019 Is that what you think we are? 303 00:20:08,086 --> 00:20:09,386 Jesus Christ, lady. 304 00:20:09,453 --> 00:20:10,688 You watch your mouth, asshole, 305 00:20:10,755 --> 00:20:13,423 or I'll rip this place apart, including you! 306 00:20:15,559 --> 00:20:17,494 I believe you. 307 00:20:31,242 --> 00:20:33,745 Deep breaths. It's just barf. 308 00:20:33,811 --> 00:20:36,446 You don't have to touch it. Don't breathe around it. 309 00:20:38,016 --> 00:20:39,416 Aah! 310 00:20:39,483 --> 00:20:41,485 That's way more than I expected! 311 00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:49,526 Okay, um, sir? 312 00:20:49,593 --> 00:20:51,195 Sir, let's get you some help. 313 00:20:55,967 --> 00:20:58,002 Oh! Holy shit! 314 00:21:09,981 --> 00:21:11,249 Oh, fuck! 315 00:21:20,425 --> 00:21:22,894 Chris, what the fuck? 316 00:21:22,961 --> 00:21:26,731 All customers must vacate the premises of We Luv Toys. 317 00:21:26,798 --> 00:21:29,000 We apologize for the inconvenience. 318 00:21:29,901 --> 00:21:32,170 All customers must vacate the premises... 319 00:21:32,236 --> 00:21:34,138 Yo, took me two years, 320 00:21:34,205 --> 00:21:35,639 but I finally got the hang of this thing. 321 00:21:35,707 --> 00:21:36,874 Look at that. 322 00:21:36,941 --> 00:21:38,343 Whoa, whoa, watch this, watch this. 323 00:21:38,409 --> 00:21:40,244 Oh! 324 00:21:40,311 --> 00:21:42,714 So what exactly happened with that Chris guy? 325 00:21:44,481 --> 00:21:46,084 I don't know. 326 00:21:46,150 --> 00:21:48,853 I think he smashed some woman with a mini pink SUV. 327 00:21:53,157 --> 00:21:54,993 Right. 328 00:21:58,763 --> 00:21:59,964 Um, ma'am, I'm sorry, 329 00:22:00,031 --> 00:22:01,933 but we're actually closing early tonight. 330 00:22:05,970 --> 00:22:08,006 What happened? 331 00:22:08,072 --> 00:22:09,539 I don't know. 332 00:22:09,606 --> 00:22:11,976 Came out, and it was a fucking disaster. 333 00:22:14,511 --> 00:22:16,881 Okay. Go check it out. 334 00:22:16,948 --> 00:22:18,316 I'll keep an eye on Chris. 335 00:22:19,784 --> 00:22:21,152 I'll be back. 336 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,596 I told you guys. 337 00:22:32,662 --> 00:22:35,466 I am sorry that I crushed that woman. 338 00:22:35,532 --> 00:22:37,634 But... 339 00:22:37,702 --> 00:22:39,303 Check the security footage! 340 00:22:39,370 --> 00:22:41,272 We don't have to check shit. 341 00:22:41,339 --> 00:22:43,174 This is a citizen's arrest. 342 00:22:45,276 --> 00:22:48,545 There is something really wrong out there. 343 00:22:48,612 --> 00:22:51,416 Yes, something is really wrong. 344 00:22:51,482 --> 00:22:53,051 We're one hour into Black Friday 345 00:22:53,117 --> 00:22:55,753 and we're escorting customers away from the store? 346 00:22:55,820 --> 00:22:57,621 Yeah, of course that's his concern. 347 00:22:57,688 --> 00:23:01,225 No, no, no, Marnie, wait. Please, you have to believe me. 348 00:23:01,292 --> 00:23:03,227 She attacked me. 349 00:23:03,294 --> 00:23:04,661 Ask Archie. 350 00:23:04,729 --> 00:23:06,563 Archie went to go check on that nasty puke bitch 351 00:23:06,630 --> 00:23:09,300 you attempted to murder. 352 00:23:09,367 --> 00:23:12,203 You're going to jail, Chris. 353 00:23:14,172 --> 00:23:16,107 Uh, miss? 354 00:23:17,574 --> 00:23:19,343 Oh, oh, my God. 355 00:23:21,179 --> 00:23:22,612 No, no, no! 356 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,248 Aah! No! 357 00:23:28,052 --> 00:23:29,619 Shit! 358 00:23:35,993 --> 00:23:37,661 Come on, kid. Let's go! 359 00:23:44,335 --> 00:23:47,038 What the hell is going on out there? 360 00:23:47,105 --> 00:23:48,906 This is some next-level bath salt shit. 361 00:23:48,973 --> 00:23:51,209 No, it's just Black Friday. 362 00:23:51,275 --> 00:23:52,810 Excitement is in the air. 363 00:23:52,877 --> 00:23:54,378 - Green Friday. - That's right. 364 00:23:54,445 --> 00:23:56,747 Green Friday, baby. It's all part of the fun. 365 00:23:56,814 --> 00:23:58,716 It's known as competitive shopping. 366 00:23:58,783 --> 00:24:01,651 Anita got a black eye last year and she took it like a champ. 367 00:24:01,719 --> 00:24:02,987 No, no. Fuck that. 368 00:24:03,054 --> 00:24:05,089 Some woman just attacked Emmett. 369 00:24:05,156 --> 00:24:07,525 It's like she wasn't a person anymore. 370 00:24:07,592 --> 00:24:09,494 I hit her with a fucking skateboard. 371 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:10,862 She didn't even feel it. 372 00:24:12,029 --> 00:24:14,232 - Try calling the cops. - Oh, no. No. 373 00:24:14,298 --> 00:24:16,467 Do not call the cops. 374 00:24:16,534 --> 00:24:17,802 Are you kidding? 375 00:24:17,869 --> 00:24:19,971 You call the cops, and this place shuts down. 376 00:24:20,037 --> 00:24:21,239 Now, if we work efficiently, 377 00:24:21,305 --> 00:24:23,207 we can reopen by maybe 2:00 a.m. 378 00:24:23,274 --> 00:24:25,810 Reopen? Are you insane? 379 00:24:25,877 --> 00:24:28,813 Line's busy. I got their voice mail. 380 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,381 Did you know the police had a voice mail? 381 00:24:30,448 --> 00:24:32,350 This is the biggest night of the year, okay? 382 00:24:32,416 --> 00:24:35,920 Corporate expects us to do six figures this weekend. 383 00:24:35,987 --> 00:24:37,822 I'm sure corporate will understand. 384 00:24:37,889 --> 00:24:39,490 Relax. Okay? 385 00:24:39,557 --> 00:24:42,293 I know we all want to go home. It's a holiday. 386 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,529 Blardy blardy blar. Let me tell you something... 387 00:24:44,595 --> 00:24:46,330 What was wrong with that lady? 388 00:24:46,397 --> 00:24:48,065 Am I gonna be okay? 389 00:24:53,704 --> 00:24:55,907 Hey, bud. 390 00:24:55,973 --> 00:24:57,475 Can I get you anything? 391 00:24:57,542 --> 00:24:58,843 Oh, man. 392 00:24:58,910 --> 00:25:01,345 There is something wrong with the shoppers. 393 00:25:01,412 --> 00:25:02,480 Christopher, 394 00:25:02,547 --> 00:25:05,683 you are not supposed to provoke the customers. 395 00:25:05,750 --> 00:25:07,785 The training video says... 396 00:25:07,852 --> 00:25:10,288 ♪ Leave them be and then you'll see ♪ 397 00:25:10,354 --> 00:25:13,558 ♪ The love of toys is all we need ♪ 398 00:25:13,624 --> 00:25:17,828 Anita, please shut the fuck up! 399 00:25:19,730 --> 00:25:22,200 You wonder why you never get Employee of the Month. 400 00:25:22,266 --> 00:25:24,068 You know what? 401 00:25:24,135 --> 00:25:25,603 No one gives a flying fuck 402 00:25:25,670 --> 00:25:28,206 about your training videos or your plaques, Anita. 403 00:25:28,272 --> 00:25:32,076 Oh, I know you don't, but there are those who do. 404 00:25:32,143 --> 00:25:35,413 The ones who don't care are the ones like you two, 405 00:25:35,479 --> 00:25:39,450 'cause you have squandered every single opportunity 406 00:25:39,517 --> 00:25:42,987 that life has handed to you to do a subpar job 407 00:25:43,054 --> 00:25:45,691 ringing people up at We Luv Toys 408 00:25:45,756 --> 00:25:47,858 for the rest of your life! 409 00:25:50,027 --> 00:25:51,062 Stand back. Stand back. Stand back. 410 00:25:51,128 --> 00:25:52,698 I got this. I got this. 411 00:25:52,763 --> 00:25:54,732 Hey, buddy. You all right? 412 00:25:54,799 --> 00:25:55,967 Here, come here. Come here. 413 00:25:56,033 --> 00:25:57,768 Hey, buddy. Hey. Okay. 414 00:25:57,835 --> 00:25:59,503 Okay. Spit it out. 415 00:25:59,570 --> 00:26:01,272 Holy fuck! 416 00:26:01,339 --> 00:26:03,207 Uh, okay. All right. 417 00:26:03,274 --> 00:26:05,876 You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay. Hey. 418 00:26:05,943 --> 00:26:08,045 Somebody get me a fucking pillow! 419 00:26:10,248 --> 00:26:12,850 - Okay. Okay. Fuck! - Move! 420 00:26:12,917 --> 00:26:15,319 Okay. Okay. 421 00:26:15,386 --> 00:26:17,622 The handbook says we're not really supposed 422 00:26:17,689 --> 00:26:19,357 to make physical contact. 423 00:26:36,107 --> 00:26:38,309 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 424 00:26:38,376 --> 00:26:40,244 Okay, okay! Enough! Enough! Enough! 425 00:26:40,311 --> 00:26:42,513 Protect me. 426 00:26:42,580 --> 00:26:44,750 Oh, God! 427 00:26:44,815 --> 00:26:47,618 Hey, corporate sent that! 428 00:26:47,686 --> 00:26:48,986 Back the fuck up, homey! 429 00:26:49,053 --> 00:26:50,588 Hey! 430 00:26:50,655 --> 00:26:52,423 You're fucked now, Junior! 431 00:26:52,490 --> 00:26:54,792 Sit your ass down. 432 00:27:00,732 --> 00:27:02,033 Was that the new guy? 433 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,608 Hello? 434 00:27:10,675 --> 00:27:12,877 Anyone? 435 00:27:12,943 --> 00:27:14,680 Bartlett won't pick up. 436 00:27:14,746 --> 00:27:15,813 We've got to separate that kid 437 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:17,281 from the rest of the shoppers. 438 00:27:17,348 --> 00:27:19,083 You know, the first time I worked Black Friday, 439 00:27:19,150 --> 00:27:21,886 they separated shoppers by race. 440 00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,490 Oh, great time for that story, Ruth! 441 00:27:26,557 --> 00:27:28,259 Great time for that. 442 00:27:28,326 --> 00:27:30,594 That's it. It's not safe in here. 443 00:27:30,661 --> 00:27:32,798 - Can someone please untie me? - Schaumburg answered. 444 00:27:32,863 --> 00:27:34,298 I got Schaumburg. 445 00:27:35,900 --> 00:27:37,501 Hello, Schaumburg. 446 00:27:37,568 --> 00:27:39,403 This is Jonathan Wexler, manager of store... 447 00:27:39,470 --> 00:27:41,038 Hello? Hello? 448 00:27:41,105 --> 00:27:43,574 Oh, thank God. Our shoppers are going crazy. 449 00:27:43,641 --> 00:27:46,944 They're attacking us. We can't get out! 450 00:27:47,011 --> 00:27:48,646 Wait. What? 451 00:27:48,714 --> 00:27:49,980 Listen to me. 452 00:27:50,047 --> 00:27:51,750 Whatever you do, don't let them in. 453 00:27:51,817 --> 00:27:54,753 And for the love of God, don't let them gather. 454 00:27:54,820 --> 00:27:56,220 They're building something. 455 00:27:56,287 --> 00:27:57,455 What? 456 00:27:57,521 --> 00:27:59,725 Get... I need... just don't let them gather! 457 00:27:59,791 --> 00:28:01,092 - Don't let them... - Hello? 458 00:28:02,460 --> 00:28:03,894 Hello! 459 00:28:03,961 --> 00:28:06,197 Okay, hang up. 460 00:28:07,198 --> 00:28:09,567 Oh, we gotta do something. 461 00:28:10,167 --> 00:28:12,970 I mean, dying in a toy store isn't how it ends for me. 462 00:28:14,638 --> 00:28:16,640 Does anyone have a car big enough to fit us all? 463 00:28:18,142 --> 00:28:19,778 Dad-mobile. 464 00:28:19,845 --> 00:28:22,246 Fits seven, but, you know, we could all squeeze. 465 00:28:22,313 --> 00:28:24,148 - Ew. - Brian, don't start. 466 00:28:24,215 --> 00:28:25,883 Ken's truck won't be enough. 467 00:28:25,950 --> 00:28:27,184 There's people on the sales floor. 468 00:28:27,251 --> 00:28:28,652 So we gotta make a run for it, right? 469 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,287 Do we? 470 00:28:30,354 --> 00:28:31,690 We don't even know what these things are or what they want. 471 00:28:31,757 --> 00:28:33,090 They want to hurt us. 472 00:28:33,157 --> 00:28:36,227 Oh, yeah, speaking of, can someone please untie me? 473 00:28:37,395 --> 00:28:39,230 Ruth can't run. 474 00:28:39,296 --> 00:28:43,367 Survival of the fittest... and non-geriatric. 475 00:28:43,434 --> 00:28:45,603 Those things are the fittest. 476 00:28:45,669 --> 00:28:47,438 You saw Emmett. 477 00:28:47,505 --> 00:28:50,107 We have to stay here and protect ourselves. 478 00:28:50,174 --> 00:28:52,376 Who knows where else this is happening? 479 00:28:52,443 --> 00:28:55,546 I say we get everyone together on the sales floor, 480 00:28:55,613 --> 00:28:58,482 lock the doors, hang tight till this shit cools off. 481 00:29:00,451 --> 00:29:02,920 You guys are gonna feel dumb when this all blows over. 482 00:29:07,558 --> 00:29:10,461 Jonathan, this isn't blowing over. 483 00:29:12,596 --> 00:29:15,266 You know, the company sends me this cheap champagne 484 00:29:15,332 --> 00:29:17,168 for making our sales goals. 485 00:29:17,234 --> 00:29:21,572 Now, they expect me to generate revenue tonight. 486 00:29:21,639 --> 00:29:23,441 That's my job. 487 00:29:25,009 --> 00:29:27,545 Your job is to be our manager. 488 00:29:27,611 --> 00:29:31,215 Protect us. Manage us. 489 00:29:32,650 --> 00:29:34,151 I can't. 490 00:29:41,192 --> 00:29:42,159 Let's move. Come on. 491 00:29:42,226 --> 00:29:43,994 Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. 492 00:29:47,398 --> 00:29:49,701 Find anyone you can and reconvene at the service desk. 493 00:29:49,768 --> 00:29:50,836 Oh, and look out for Emmett. 494 00:29:50,902 --> 00:29:53,839 The less we have to interact with the shoppers... 495 00:29:53,905 --> 00:29:55,072 the better. 496 00:29:55,139 --> 00:29:56,474 Where is everyb... oh. 497 00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:58,008 Shh. 498 00:30:10,654 --> 00:30:12,724 How did all these shoppers get in here? 499 00:30:14,225 --> 00:30:15,259 The team must've tried to leave 500 00:30:15,326 --> 00:30:17,394 through the employee exit. 501 00:30:17,461 --> 00:30:19,663 Who knows how many of those things got in? 502 00:30:19,731 --> 00:30:21,365 I say we split up. 503 00:30:21,432 --> 00:30:23,768 Close that door. Secure the store. 504 00:30:23,835 --> 00:30:26,570 Ken, you take Ruth and Marnie through the back hall. 505 00:30:26,637 --> 00:30:28,672 Hole up in the office until we get back. 506 00:30:28,740 --> 00:30:29,975 Yeah. 507 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,076 Chris, Brian, Jonathan, 508 00:30:32,142 --> 00:30:34,278 we're gonna run recon to that exit. 509 00:30:34,345 --> 00:30:36,347 No, no, I should be with the other group 510 00:30:36,413 --> 00:30:39,049 'cause Brian represents me on the sales floor. 511 00:30:40,451 --> 00:30:43,955 I will carry your grace to the sales floor as always. 512 00:30:44,021 --> 00:30:44,990 Let's just go. 513 00:30:55,099 --> 00:30:56,066 Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. 514 00:31:15,286 --> 00:31:16,721 Where you going? 515 00:31:17,956 --> 00:31:18,924 To the bathroom. 516 00:31:18,990 --> 00:31:20,090 Why? 517 00:31:20,157 --> 00:31:21,693 'Cause I have to go. 518 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,127 Ooh, I gotta go too. 519 00:31:23,193 --> 00:31:24,763 I've been holding it. 520 00:31:33,404 --> 00:31:36,507 Your man, so hunky. 521 00:31:36,574 --> 00:31:38,609 They don't make 'em like that anymore. 522 00:31:38,676 --> 00:31:41,012 You know, fierce. Stern. 523 00:31:41,078 --> 00:31:43,180 A real smolder. 524 00:31:43,247 --> 00:31:45,449 Ruth, he's not my man. We're not dating, okay? 525 00:31:45,516 --> 00:31:47,451 - Oh! - Or... it doesn't matter. 526 00:31:47,518 --> 00:31:51,555 Oh, so... so more like consensual fuck partners. 527 00:31:53,557 --> 00:31:54,926 Wow. 528 00:32:03,133 --> 00:32:05,269 Follow me. Stay low. 529 00:32:39,104 --> 00:32:40,705 Oh, no, no, no, no! 530 00:32:45,442 --> 00:32:48,612 What part of "follow me" did you not understand? 531 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:50,214 Follow me. 532 00:32:54,052 --> 00:32:55,586 Hey, so let me know if you leave the bathroom, 533 00:32:55,653 --> 00:32:57,889 'cause I can always pinch and run, okay? 534 00:33:06,131 --> 00:33:07,966 - Gotcha! - What are you doing? 535 00:33:08,033 --> 00:33:10,200 Getting my stash, man. 536 00:33:11,069 --> 00:33:12,704 You can't do that! 537 00:33:12,771 --> 00:33:14,271 Circumstances have changed, Jonathan. 538 00:33:14,338 --> 00:33:15,807 That's against the code! 539 00:33:27,351 --> 00:33:29,453 - Oh, no. - What? What's going on? 540 00:33:34,425 --> 00:33:36,094 We gotta get to that door. 541 00:33:36,161 --> 00:33:38,029 Let's go. 542 00:33:38,096 --> 00:33:39,396 Brian, step back. 543 00:33:57,581 --> 00:33:59,450 We're clear. 544 00:34:14,565 --> 00:34:16,735 All set. Come on. 545 00:34:19,070 --> 00:34:21,906 So what do we do now? They... they got the door shut. 546 00:34:28,645 --> 00:34:30,314 What are the shoppers doing? 547 00:34:34,485 --> 00:34:37,188 Ruth, wait here. 548 00:34:37,254 --> 00:34:38,857 Okay. 549 00:35:54,598 --> 00:35:56,901 You park that Buick? 550 00:36:00,138 --> 00:36:01,172 - Johnathan! - Shit! 551 00:36:14,919 --> 00:36:15,987 Jonathan! 552 00:36:23,460 --> 00:36:25,730 Oh! 553 00:36:53,390 --> 00:36:55,226 Are we safe up here? 554 00:36:55,293 --> 00:36:56,660 Define safe. 555 00:37:01,498 --> 00:37:03,667 Ken, come on. 556 00:37:03,735 --> 00:37:05,402 I think we were safer in my office. 557 00:37:06,237 --> 00:37:08,206 The doors are closed. Now we wait, yeah? 558 00:37:08,273 --> 00:37:10,208 No, no, no. We can't wait. 559 00:37:10,275 --> 00:37:12,143 I'm with her. 560 00:37:12,210 --> 00:37:14,245 Lou was in there and he was trying to eat me 561 00:37:14,312 --> 00:37:15,780 or pull me into him. 562 00:37:15,847 --> 00:37:18,049 - He was trying to... - Gather? 563 00:37:18,116 --> 00:37:19,416 Exactly. 564 00:37:19,483 --> 00:37:20,752 Just like Schaumburg said. 565 00:37:20,818 --> 00:37:22,320 Yeah, they're doing it at Santa's village. 566 00:37:22,387 --> 00:37:23,654 I saw something. 567 00:37:23,721 --> 00:37:25,023 I don't know what it was, but I think the shoppers 568 00:37:25,089 --> 00:37:26,456 are trying to reach each other and... 569 00:37:26,523 --> 00:37:28,625 At this point, we're just in their way. 570 00:37:28,693 --> 00:37:30,128 We're gonna have to fight whatever's left. 571 00:37:30,194 --> 00:37:31,561 Whoa, whoa. 572 00:37:31,628 --> 00:37:33,097 God damn it. 573 00:37:33,164 --> 00:37:34,564 What's wrong? 574 00:37:34,631 --> 00:37:36,533 I can't get dinner with my kids. 575 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,635 I can't get a drink at work. 576 00:37:38,703 --> 00:37:41,739 I can't even get a goddamn text to send. 577 00:37:43,374 --> 00:37:45,209 Uh... I'll go get that. 578 00:37:46,411 --> 00:37:48,913 You know what? I'm getting my bonus 579 00:37:48,980 --> 00:37:50,547 and I'm getting the fuck outta here. 580 00:37:50,614 --> 00:37:52,516 Are you fucking kidding me? 581 00:37:52,582 --> 00:37:54,018 Jonathan, give me the keys. 582 00:37:54,085 --> 00:37:55,652 Oh, uh... 583 00:37:55,720 --> 00:37:57,989 I left the keys in my office. 584 00:37:59,023 --> 00:38:00,457 Archie. 585 00:38:11,869 --> 00:38:13,603 Where's the holiday bonuses? 586 00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,710 Are they, like, in your office or something? 587 00:38:18,776 --> 00:38:20,845 I thought that I told you 588 00:38:20,912 --> 00:38:24,949 that there were gonna be no holiday bonuses this year. 589 00:38:26,184 --> 00:38:27,685 What the fuck? 590 00:38:27,752 --> 00:38:30,487 Jonathan, this is bullshit even for you. 591 00:38:33,791 --> 00:38:35,994 That's not what you told me. 592 00:38:36,060 --> 00:38:39,464 All you said was that there'd be layoffs after the holidays. 593 00:38:39,563 --> 00:38:43,234 Whoa! What the hell? Like who? 594 00:38:43,301 --> 00:38:45,569 I mean, fo' sho' you with them bathroom breaks. 595 00:38:45,635 --> 00:38:47,105 I wash my fucking hands! 596 00:38:47,171 --> 00:38:48,638 This place is a cesspool! 597 00:38:48,706 --> 00:38:50,775 Hey, guys, shut up. 598 00:38:50,842 --> 00:38:53,711 Jonathan, is this true? 599 00:38:53,778 --> 00:38:56,014 ♪ Little girl ♪ 600 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:57,715 Well... 601 00:38:57,782 --> 00:39:00,685 it isn't not untrue. 602 00:39:00,752 --> 00:39:03,021 - Oh, my God. - I mean, yeah, yes, it's true. 603 00:39:06,257 --> 00:39:09,060 I quit, you fucking joke. 604 00:39:09,127 --> 00:39:10,161 For your nose. 605 00:39:12,063 --> 00:39:14,631 Ruth, get away from the window. 606 00:39:14,699 --> 00:39:16,666 No, the police are here. 607 00:39:16,734 --> 00:39:18,870 Oh, thank God! 608 00:39:30,281 --> 00:39:33,017 Hey, Brian, wait up! 609 00:39:33,084 --> 00:39:34,318 No! 610 00:39:36,586 --> 00:39:38,588 Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! 611 00:39:42,260 --> 00:39:43,294 Go! 612 00:39:57,607 --> 00:39:59,744 Oh, God! 613 00:40:06,784 --> 00:40:08,019 They're all headed for that. 614 00:40:09,586 --> 00:40:11,322 What is that thing? 615 00:40:11,389 --> 00:40:12,356 Let's go. 616 00:40:16,727 --> 00:40:18,096 Chris, go. 617 00:40:18,162 --> 00:40:19,831 No, man. 618 00:40:19,897 --> 00:40:23,201 Chris, I'ma hold you down. 619 00:40:23,267 --> 00:40:24,634 Now go. Go! 620 00:40:48,392 --> 00:40:51,362 Got your doorbusters right here, motherfucker. 621 00:42:14,645 --> 00:42:15,713 Oh! 622 00:42:24,222 --> 00:42:25,756 Ken, block the door! 623 00:42:40,805 --> 00:42:42,073 Oh! 624 00:42:52,183 --> 00:42:54,051 They're never really dead. 625 00:42:57,455 --> 00:42:58,856 Archie? 626 00:43:02,728 --> 00:43:05,529 If they got to him, what the hell are we gonna do? 627 00:43:05,596 --> 00:43:08,099 I don't think this night can get any worse. 628 00:43:14,405 --> 00:43:16,907 Okay. 629 00:43:16,974 --> 00:43:18,744 Does anybody else just think that's funny? 630 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,282 How long do you think that door will hold? 631 00:43:26,450 --> 00:43:29,487 It's the only idea we've got and it's gotten us this far. 632 00:43:29,553 --> 00:43:31,856 It's safe for now. 633 00:43:33,124 --> 00:43:35,092 My name is Emmett, and I have loved toys 634 00:43:35,159 --> 00:43:36,927 since the first of the month. 635 00:43:46,037 --> 00:43:48,472 I think that that is the shortest 636 00:43:48,539 --> 00:43:49,708 anyone has ever worked here. 637 00:43:59,751 --> 00:44:03,054 I have loved toys for eight years. 638 00:44:04,855 --> 00:44:06,824 I wanted to be a dentist, you know. 639 00:44:09,593 --> 00:44:11,797 Ten years. 640 00:44:11,862 --> 00:44:13,331 Got laid off. 641 00:44:14,733 --> 00:44:16,600 Told my wife it'd be temporary. 642 00:44:22,073 --> 00:44:23,607 Four years. 643 00:44:25,176 --> 00:44:28,079 I'd throw my name tag in the middle, but I lost mine. 644 00:44:31,817 --> 00:44:33,117 Two years. 645 00:44:34,118 --> 00:44:35,419 Imagine making your living 646 00:44:35,486 --> 00:44:37,121 at the place you begged your mom and dad 647 00:44:37,188 --> 00:44:38,889 to take you to when you were younger. 648 00:44:45,629 --> 00:44:49,367 I ran home to tell my dad after I got hired, 649 00:44:49,433 --> 00:44:50,935 and he goes... 650 00:44:52,970 --> 00:44:55,039 "Welcome to corporate hell, kid." 651 00:44:56,207 --> 00:44:58,844 This place isn't impressive. 652 00:44:58,909 --> 00:45:02,580 It isn't fun or magical. 653 00:45:02,646 --> 00:45:04,348 It's a prison. 654 00:45:04,415 --> 00:45:05,950 It's a ruse. 655 00:45:08,720 --> 00:45:09,987 It's a lie. 656 00:45:11,322 --> 00:45:12,656 Well, that just sucks, you know, 657 00:45:12,724 --> 00:45:16,026 'cause I always saw you as manager material. 658 00:45:19,530 --> 00:45:21,132 Shut up, Jonathan. 659 00:45:22,633 --> 00:45:27,138 You guys want to know why I applied here 27 years ago? 660 00:45:28,139 --> 00:45:29,974 I was lonely. 661 00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:31,710 I believe that there's a place for everyone, 662 00:45:31,777 --> 00:45:34,345 and this is my place. 663 00:45:34,412 --> 00:45:35,747 It's a place where you have worth, 664 00:45:35,814 --> 00:45:38,182 where regional managers call you and ask for numbers, 665 00:45:38,249 --> 00:45:40,651 where you can reprimand somebody 666 00:45:40,719 --> 00:45:43,855 and they have to listen to you. 667 00:45:43,921 --> 00:45:46,957 Where the women have to laugh at all your corny jokes 668 00:45:47,024 --> 00:45:49,960 and even the coolest guys have to obey. 669 00:45:51,462 --> 00:45:54,131 That's what We Luv Toys means to me. 670 00:45:59,203 --> 00:46:01,372 That's some dark shit right there. 671 00:46:01,439 --> 00:46:04,475 I legitimately always thought you were a serial killer. 672 00:46:11,215 --> 00:46:12,751 I can't believe I missed Thanksgiving 673 00:46:12,818 --> 00:46:15,519 with my family for this. 674 00:46:15,586 --> 00:46:18,690 Well, at least you were invited to a Thanksgiving. 675 00:46:20,324 --> 00:46:23,594 I'm sorry. Truly. 676 00:46:28,232 --> 00:46:29,600 What are you doing? 677 00:46:52,623 --> 00:46:54,693 No one should be without Thanksgiving. 678 00:46:57,963 --> 00:46:59,263 Turkey. 679 00:47:00,531 --> 00:47:02,132 Thank you. 680 00:47:02,199 --> 00:47:04,235 Cranberry. 681 00:47:05,837 --> 00:47:07,271 Football. 682 00:47:08,974 --> 00:47:10,040 Black Friday. 683 00:47:11,609 --> 00:47:13,377 Here's some Black Friday trivia. 684 00:47:14,445 --> 00:47:16,614 The phrase was first used by Philly cops 685 00:47:16,681 --> 00:47:17,716 to describe the crowds 686 00:47:17,782 --> 00:47:20,117 and the traffic the day after the holiday. 687 00:47:20,184 --> 00:47:22,286 Mm! And here's some retail trivia. 688 00:47:22,353 --> 00:47:25,757 The promise of savings is an illusion 689 00:47:25,824 --> 00:47:28,425 'cause everything they put out there is sold at a loss 690 00:47:28,492 --> 00:47:30,494 to get you through the door. 691 00:47:30,561 --> 00:47:32,663 Things are still selling for a high margin too. 692 00:47:32,731 --> 00:47:34,498 So yeah, sure. 693 00:47:34,565 --> 00:47:36,600 Go ahead and get that cheap flat-screen TV, 694 00:47:36,667 --> 00:47:39,136 but now you need the wall mount and the cables. 695 00:47:40,070 --> 00:47:41,639 Customers aren't always right. 696 00:47:41,706 --> 00:47:43,708 They just want to think that they are. 697 00:47:44,776 --> 00:47:45,710 Jesus Christ. 698 00:47:45,777 --> 00:47:47,244 Mm. 699 00:47:47,311 --> 00:47:49,446 Well, for our last Thanksgiving meal, 700 00:47:49,513 --> 00:47:51,816 - it sure was informative. - No. 701 00:47:51,883 --> 00:47:54,019 Don't say that. 702 00:47:54,084 --> 00:47:55,486 Don't say this is our last. 703 00:47:55,553 --> 00:47:57,054 I think she was just making a joke. 704 00:47:57,121 --> 00:47:58,790 No. I got two kids out there 705 00:47:58,857 --> 00:48:00,257 that I plan to see again. 706 00:48:00,324 --> 00:48:02,961 Calm down. We get it. 707 00:48:03,028 --> 00:48:04,528 You don't know shit, Chris. 708 00:48:05,997 --> 00:48:08,566 - You don't have a... - I don't have a what, Ken? 709 00:48:08,632 --> 00:48:10,702 A family that gives a shit about me? 710 00:48:12,704 --> 00:48:13,571 Maybe you're right. 711 00:48:13,637 --> 00:48:15,272 But at least I don't love it here. 712 00:48:16,206 --> 00:48:17,508 I don't love it here. 713 00:48:18,977 --> 00:48:20,444 Look at how hard you try 714 00:48:20,511 --> 00:48:23,080 to be the coolest person working at We Luv Toys. 715 00:48:23,147 --> 00:48:24,716 Guys, can we not do this right now? 716 00:48:24,783 --> 00:48:26,216 Me? 717 00:48:26,283 --> 00:48:27,384 You're the one that's always 718 00:48:27,451 --> 00:48:29,353 trying to get employee of the month. 719 00:48:29,420 --> 00:48:31,088 It's a fake award, Christopher. 720 00:48:31,155 --> 00:48:33,123 Don't blame me for trying my best. 721 00:48:33,190 --> 00:48:35,026 Your best. 722 00:48:35,092 --> 00:48:36,995 You call this your best? 723 00:48:37,062 --> 00:48:40,164 I've never seen a bigger waste of potential in my life. 724 00:48:40,230 --> 00:48:42,666 Oh, fuck off! 725 00:48:42,734 --> 00:48:44,268 You try to give me all these tips 726 00:48:44,335 --> 00:48:47,304 about how to live and when you were my age. 727 00:48:47,371 --> 00:48:49,473 You're not my age. 728 00:48:49,540 --> 00:48:52,944 I still have time to realize that this job was a mistake. 729 00:48:53,011 --> 00:48:54,846 You got a lot to learn, kid. 730 00:48:54,913 --> 00:48:56,881 "Kid." 731 00:48:56,948 --> 00:48:58,850 I'm not your kid. 732 00:48:58,917 --> 00:49:01,518 You see me way too often to be your actual child. 733 00:49:10,795 --> 00:49:12,296 Don't. 734 00:49:12,363 --> 00:49:14,933 At least I acknowledge that this job bums me out. 735 00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:18,569 But, my God, you treat it like it's high school, 736 00:49:18,636 --> 00:49:20,604 like you're the cool guy in shop, 737 00:49:20,671 --> 00:49:22,774 dating someone 20 years younger than you. 738 00:49:22,841 --> 00:49:24,675 Okay, we're not dating. 739 00:49:31,348 --> 00:49:32,717 I thought we were a thing. 740 00:49:32,784 --> 00:49:33,885 A thing, yeah. 741 00:49:35,285 --> 00:49:38,123 But, Ken, you're almost my dad's age. 742 00:49:40,524 --> 00:49:42,459 I will fucking kill you, nerd! 743 00:49:43,661 --> 00:49:44,996 What about all the late-night shifts? 744 00:49:45,063 --> 00:49:46,597 What about the time we made out on the train table? 745 00:49:46,664 --> 00:49:49,500 - You did what? - We made out. 746 00:49:51,002 --> 00:49:52,937 It passes the time. 747 00:49:53,004 --> 00:49:54,706 But, Ken, I don't really know you. 748 00:49:55,874 --> 00:49:57,641 I've never seen you outside of the store. 749 00:49:57,709 --> 00:49:59,778 I mean, I've... I've never even met your kids. 750 00:50:01,178 --> 00:50:03,148 Would we ever go out on a date? 751 00:50:03,213 --> 00:50:04,783 I don't think so, right? 752 00:50:05,950 --> 00:50:07,351 Pancakes. 753 00:50:11,856 --> 00:50:13,091 No? 754 00:50:25,070 --> 00:50:26,603 So that's it? 755 00:50:28,006 --> 00:50:31,341 You guys all think I'm some sort of fucking loser, huh? 756 00:50:39,751 --> 00:50:40,819 I'm out of here. 757 00:50:43,287 --> 00:50:44,621 Let's go. 758 00:51:08,479 --> 00:51:10,380 What exactly are we looking for? 759 00:51:10,447 --> 00:51:11,883 I'm fresh out of ideas. 760 00:51:17,254 --> 00:51:20,457 There's got to be a circuit breaker or something in here. 761 00:51:38,209 --> 00:51:39,878 I can do you one better. 762 00:52:10,374 --> 00:52:12,110 Hey, what's the plan? 763 00:52:12,177 --> 00:52:13,510 Lou attacked you guys, right? 764 00:52:13,577 --> 00:52:15,379 Damn straight. He showed Ken what's what. 765 00:52:15,445 --> 00:52:16,580 Right, which means the truck 766 00:52:16,647 --> 00:52:17,949 is still parked in the loading dock. 767 00:52:18,016 --> 00:52:19,784 And the keys are still in the truck. He told me. 768 00:52:19,851 --> 00:52:20,985 If we bust open those locks, 769 00:52:21,052 --> 00:52:22,386 we can get into the bed of the truck. 770 00:52:22,452 --> 00:52:23,755 That's our way out of here. 771 00:52:23,822 --> 00:52:25,355 What happens when you get into the truck bed? 772 00:52:25,422 --> 00:52:26,523 I figured there's got to be a hatch 773 00:52:26,590 --> 00:52:28,092 to the front seat, right? 774 00:52:28,159 --> 00:52:30,295 Got it! Let's go. 775 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:32,429 All right, team. 776 00:52:32,496 --> 00:52:34,232 Listen up. 777 00:52:34,299 --> 00:52:36,234 I've made a decision. 778 00:52:36,301 --> 00:52:39,336 As captain... 779 00:52:39,403 --> 00:52:40,705 I'm going down with the ship. 780 00:52:40,772 --> 00:52:42,339 - No! - I'm staying behind. 781 00:52:42,406 --> 00:52:43,507 That's it. 782 00:52:43,574 --> 00:52:46,510 We had turkey together. 783 00:52:46,577 --> 00:52:47,879 And pretzels. 784 00:52:47,946 --> 00:52:51,182 Jonathan, now is not the time, okay? 785 00:52:51,249 --> 00:52:53,350 Then when is my time, huh? 786 00:52:55,552 --> 00:52:58,622 Call me a fool, but I love it here. 787 00:52:59,824 --> 00:53:01,658 This is my favorite place in the whole world, 788 00:53:01,726 --> 00:53:05,029 and it would be an honor to stay with the store 789 00:53:05,096 --> 00:53:06,965 in its final hours, 790 00:53:07,031 --> 00:53:09,834 as any good and strong manager would. 791 00:53:13,403 --> 00:53:16,241 I told you they never die. 792 00:53:20,444 --> 00:53:23,047 Oh, this just got really bad. 793 00:53:47,805 --> 00:53:49,640 Go, get outta here! 794 00:53:58,683 --> 00:54:00,051 - Ken! - Don't! 795 00:54:19,170 --> 00:54:22,907 Motherfucker! Ow! Ow! 796 00:54:34,185 --> 00:54:35,219 Ow! 797 00:54:36,453 --> 00:54:38,455 I think we're clear. 798 00:54:38,522 --> 00:54:39,891 Maybe they do die. 799 00:54:39,958 --> 00:54:41,125 - Ken. - Are you okay? 800 00:54:41,192 --> 00:54:42,827 Wait, wait, wait. 801 00:54:42,894 --> 00:54:44,729 Stay back. Do not come over here. 802 00:54:46,463 --> 00:54:47,899 Oh, my God. 803 00:54:47,966 --> 00:54:49,133 What happened? 804 00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,669 What does it look like? Fucking new guy bit me. 805 00:54:54,638 --> 00:54:56,341 I can fix this. We can fix this. 806 00:54:56,407 --> 00:54:57,709 No. No. 807 00:54:57,775 --> 00:54:59,543 You saw what happened to Anita and Emmett. 808 00:54:59,609 --> 00:55:00,878 If they bite you, you turn into one of them. 809 00:55:00,945 --> 00:55:02,512 No, no, no, no. Don't say that. 810 00:55:02,579 --> 00:55:03,881 Well, that is the mythos, right? 811 00:55:03,948 --> 00:55:06,150 Shut the fuck up, Jonathan! 812 00:55:06,217 --> 00:55:09,153 What happened to going down with the ship, huh, Captain? 813 00:55:09,220 --> 00:55:10,788 I guess I changed my mind. 814 00:55:10,855 --> 00:55:12,656 We can cut the arm off. 815 00:55:12,724 --> 00:55:14,726 Let's lop it off. 816 00:55:14,792 --> 00:55:17,996 Guys, you already took my dignity. 817 00:55:19,197 --> 00:55:20,530 Leave my arm. 818 00:55:22,300 --> 00:55:23,567 Get out of here. 819 00:55:23,633 --> 00:55:26,037 Put something in the door. Don't let me out. 820 00:55:28,638 --> 00:55:30,008 Here. 821 00:55:31,409 --> 00:55:33,277 Ken, I'm... I'm sorry. 822 00:55:35,747 --> 00:55:37,547 Yeah, me too, kid. 823 00:56:05,476 --> 00:56:06,844 Fuck. 824 00:56:08,112 --> 00:56:11,149 Come on, man! When are you gonna take me? 825 00:56:11,215 --> 00:56:13,518 Fuck! 826 00:56:13,583 --> 00:56:15,920 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 827 00:56:15,987 --> 00:56:19,223 Want to go someplace new, new. 828 00:56:19,290 --> 00:56:21,993 Not my... not myself. 829 00:56:22,060 --> 00:56:25,063 Been a long... been a long day, day, day. 830 00:56:25,129 --> 00:56:27,799 Been a long... been a long day. 831 00:56:27,865 --> 00:56:29,367 Fuck off, Dour Dennis. 832 00:56:29,434 --> 00:56:31,635 Yet others are going through much worse. 833 00:56:31,702 --> 00:56:33,171 Fuck off, man. 834 00:56:39,110 --> 00:56:40,945 You know what you're doing? 835 00:56:41,012 --> 00:56:43,748 No, but I figure if I climb out of the hatch 836 00:56:43,815 --> 00:56:45,349 and get to the front seat, it's our way out of here. 837 00:56:45,416 --> 00:56:47,085 Okay. Good plan. 838 00:56:47,151 --> 00:56:49,754 'Cause my Elks Lodge is only about six miles away. 839 00:56:49,821 --> 00:56:51,355 Or the police station. 840 00:56:51,422 --> 00:56:53,491 The police are here and they're monsters now. 841 00:56:53,558 --> 00:56:54,725 Now? 842 00:56:54,792 --> 00:56:57,829 Look, I'll get us somewhere, okay? 843 00:56:57,895 --> 00:57:00,031 Brian, about a year ago, 844 00:57:00,098 --> 00:57:01,766 corporate sent transportation... 845 00:57:01,833 --> 00:57:03,633 Hey, I hope you don't believe what Ken said. 846 00:57:03,701 --> 00:57:05,103 It's not true. 847 00:57:06,270 --> 00:57:07,671 It's true. 848 00:57:07,738 --> 00:57:09,673 I don't know if he meant it, but it's true. 849 00:57:11,342 --> 00:57:14,345 I made things uncomfortable by bringing you into that fight. 850 00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:17,181 You're too good of a person. 851 00:57:17,248 --> 00:57:18,483 You remember Christmas last year, 852 00:57:18,549 --> 00:57:19,851 we caught that woman stealing? 853 00:57:19,917 --> 00:57:21,252 I wanted to stop her. Y-y... 854 00:57:21,319 --> 00:57:24,288 She had kids. She was stealing for them. 855 00:57:24,355 --> 00:57:25,456 What? 856 00:57:27,058 --> 00:57:29,060 What was I supposed to do, call the cops 857 00:57:29,127 --> 00:57:31,429 so that she'd get arrested and her kids would find out 858 00:57:31,496 --> 00:57:34,365 in the worst possible way that Santa's not real? 859 00:57:34,432 --> 00:57:35,867 You let her do it? 860 00:57:35,933 --> 00:57:38,903 Marnie... you did the right thing. 861 00:57:41,706 --> 00:57:43,040 Let's help Chris out. 862 00:58:03,728 --> 00:58:06,063 Hey, how do you feel today, feel today? 863 00:58:06,130 --> 00:58:09,000 You know, I'm not doing too good, Dour Dennis, 864 00:58:09,066 --> 00:58:10,434 but I appreciate the sentiment. 865 00:58:10,501 --> 00:58:13,371 Just always feel bad, bad, bad. 866 00:58:13,437 --> 00:58:14,872 That's great. 867 00:58:14,939 --> 00:58:16,841 That's just fucking awesome. 868 00:58:21,779 --> 00:58:23,080 I'm good. 869 00:58:35,526 --> 00:58:37,128 Ah, fuck. 870 00:58:38,729 --> 00:58:40,431 God damn it, Brian! 871 00:58:46,170 --> 00:58:48,839 What are the odds Chris fucks this up? 872 00:58:48,906 --> 00:58:50,875 You know, you are a real boner killer, 873 00:58:50,942 --> 00:58:51,943 you know that? 874 00:58:59,483 --> 00:59:00,518 Bircher. 875 00:59:26,811 --> 00:59:29,681 An emergency at-home order has been put in place... 876 00:59:31,649 --> 00:59:33,484 What do I do here? 877 00:59:33,551 --> 00:59:35,553 Civilians are advised... 878 00:59:35,620 --> 00:59:36,754 What is this? 879 00:59:36,821 --> 00:59:38,289 What are all these buttons? 880 00:59:38,356 --> 00:59:41,058 I repeat: stay in your home. 881 00:59:41,125 --> 00:59:44,195 An emergency at-home order has been put in place... 882 00:59:44,262 --> 00:59:47,531 "You should have taken shop." Shut the fuck up, Dad! 883 00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:50,702 Civilians are advised to avoid 884 00:59:50,768 --> 00:59:52,603 any and all retail areas. 885 00:59:55,573 --> 00:59:57,208 I can't do this at my house. 886 00:59:57,275 --> 00:59:59,711 My house is a mess, mess, mess, mess. 887 00:59:59,777 --> 01:00:01,445 Quiet, Dennis. They'll hear us. 888 01:00:04,582 --> 01:00:06,150 Oh, fuck. 889 01:00:11,222 --> 01:00:12,423 Get it together, together. 890 01:00:12,490 --> 01:00:14,058 It's not like my life was my choice. 891 01:00:14,125 --> 01:00:16,961 Hey! This is for employees only! 892 01:00:19,030 --> 01:00:20,498 Come on, Dennis. 893 01:00:25,202 --> 01:00:26,937 My wife left me, so I guess 894 01:00:27,004 --> 01:00:29,407 I can do whatever the fuck I want. 895 01:00:51,028 --> 01:00:52,897 What happened to the plan, Chris? 896 01:00:52,963 --> 01:00:54,565 I can't drive this truck. 897 01:00:54,632 --> 01:00:56,735 That's what you get for not taking shop class. 898 01:00:56,802 --> 01:00:58,602 Shh, shh! The... they'll hear us. 899 01:00:58,669 --> 01:01:00,304 I saw Bircher outside. 900 01:01:00,371 --> 01:01:03,641 He was like Emmett. He turned but maybe worse. 901 01:01:03,709 --> 01:01:05,543 I-I don't know. 902 01:01:05,609 --> 01:01:08,212 I don't think he saw me. 903 01:01:55,893 --> 01:01:57,294 Are you okay? 904 01:01:58,662 --> 01:02:00,131 Chris! 905 01:02:03,901 --> 01:02:05,603 No, no, no, no, no, no! 906 01:02:07,138 --> 01:02:08,840 Help! 907 01:02:12,943 --> 01:02:15,312 Aah! 908 01:02:15,379 --> 01:02:16,914 Shit! 909 01:02:16,981 --> 01:02:19,617 Jonathan, open the back door! 910 01:02:19,684 --> 01:02:21,152 We're safe in here, no? 911 01:02:21,218 --> 01:02:22,353 No! Obviously not. 912 01:02:22,420 --> 01:02:23,822 These things are fast and strong. 913 01:02:23,889 --> 01:02:24,922 They'll rip this truck apart. 914 01:02:28,058 --> 01:02:29,660 Go! Go! Get the back! 915 01:02:29,728 --> 01:02:31,095 - Okay. Okay. - GO! Go! 916 01:03:16,842 --> 01:03:18,442 What are we gonna do? 917 01:03:18,509 --> 01:03:22,246 Okay. Marnie, grab the back of my sweater. 918 01:03:22,313 --> 01:03:24,448 Then Chris, Brian, you last. 919 01:03:24,515 --> 01:03:25,649 Me last? 920 01:03:25,717 --> 01:03:27,418 Well, unfortunately, these things are hungry, 921 01:03:27,485 --> 01:03:30,020 and well, you're the slowest and the juiciest. 922 01:03:46,337 --> 01:03:48,005 Are you crazy? We can't see in there. 923 01:03:48,072 --> 01:03:49,507 You can't, maybe. 924 01:03:49,573 --> 01:03:52,042 I can walk through this whole store with my eyes closed. 925 01:03:52,109 --> 01:03:54,178 Come on. Grab on. Let's move! 926 01:03:58,182 --> 01:03:59,684 I can't see anything. 927 01:03:59,751 --> 01:04:01,552 Shut the fuck up, juicy. 928 01:04:27,177 --> 01:04:28,479 This was a good call. 929 01:04:28,546 --> 01:04:30,314 Go high, you know. That's what they say. 930 01:04:30,381 --> 01:04:32,918 - Who? - I don't know, sports people? 931 01:04:32,984 --> 01:04:35,787 Marnie, where did the rest of the shoppers go? 932 01:04:46,831 --> 01:04:48,365 Hello, hello, hello. 933 01:04:48,432 --> 01:04:51,435 Maybe you could love me. Maybe you could love me. 934 01:05:04,248 --> 01:05:06,785 Guys, over here. 935 01:05:07,953 --> 01:05:09,553 Hey, uh, 936 01:05:09,620 --> 01:05:12,222 I'm totes sorry that I left you on the sales floor. 937 01:05:12,289 --> 01:05:13,390 It's all right. Forget about it. 938 01:05:13,457 --> 01:05:15,225 No, I've been a bitch. 939 01:05:15,292 --> 01:05:17,661 But I've totally taken control since then. 940 01:05:17,729 --> 01:05:19,563 I totally helped with Ken. 941 01:05:19,630 --> 01:05:20,732 What? 942 01:05:22,132 --> 01:05:23,300 Oh, no! 943 01:05:23,367 --> 01:05:24,869 It's spreading too fast. 944 01:05:26,136 --> 01:05:29,273 No, no, no! We got to put it out. 945 01:05:30,942 --> 01:05:32,811 No, no! 946 01:05:32,877 --> 01:05:35,279 I don't care how much smoke. Back down the hatch! 947 01:05:42,119 --> 01:05:43,989 Oh, there they are. 948 01:05:44,055 --> 01:05:46,024 We don't have a way out. 949 01:05:46,091 --> 01:05:49,627 You know the worst thing about holiday shoppers? 950 01:05:50,494 --> 01:05:53,263 They can never accept the fact that the night is over. 951 01:05:54,099 --> 01:05:57,869 They have no idea what it takes to work in retail. 952 01:05:57,936 --> 01:06:02,673 Year after year dealing with hordes of unruly customers. 953 01:06:02,741 --> 01:06:04,709 You know what? 954 01:06:04,776 --> 01:06:08,780 My face hurts because of all the fake smiles! 955 01:06:11,582 --> 01:06:14,719 My ears hurt from listening to Air Supply 956 01:06:14,786 --> 01:06:17,922 50,000 times! 957 01:06:19,256 --> 01:06:24,161 Worst of all, my fucking feet hurt! 958 01:06:24,228 --> 01:06:26,163 What is he doing? 959 01:06:26,230 --> 01:06:27,766 I think he's finally had enough. 960 01:06:27,832 --> 01:06:31,903 It's right there in the manager's handbook. 961 01:06:31,970 --> 01:06:36,206 The people that work for you should be treated... 962 01:06:36,273 --> 01:06:37,709 like family. 963 01:06:37,776 --> 01:06:40,712 Well, these kids, they're special to me. 964 01:06:41,913 --> 01:06:44,149 They're my family. 965 01:06:44,214 --> 01:06:45,850 Jonathan, what are you doing? 966 01:06:49,353 --> 01:06:51,923 So attention, shoppers, 967 01:06:51,990 --> 01:06:56,226 Black Friday is over! 968 01:06:56,293 --> 01:06:57,962 Whoo! 969 01:07:44,608 --> 01:07:46,477 Somebody say something. 970 01:07:49,313 --> 01:07:51,281 I bit Ken. 971 01:07:51,348 --> 01:07:52,382 You what? 972 01:07:56,888 --> 01:08:00,591 Ma'am, I have the right to refuse service to anybody! 973 01:08:00,657 --> 01:08:03,061 And it doesn't matter appear you're wearing a shirt 974 01:08:03,128 --> 01:08:05,964 or shoes, ma'am! 975 01:08:08,532 --> 01:08:10,667 I'll rip this place apart, including you! 976 01:08:10,735 --> 01:08:12,771 Oh, get it together, dickless! 977 01:08:28,585 --> 01:08:31,421 I made a choice, and I bit him. 978 01:08:33,057 --> 01:08:35,994 Ken Bates was no hero. 979 01:08:36,060 --> 01:08:38,328 He was a drunk and a creep. 980 01:08:39,898 --> 01:08:42,000 So I did us all a favor. 981 01:08:42,066 --> 01:08:45,136 You are a horrible person. 982 01:08:45,203 --> 01:08:47,272 You piece of shit. 983 01:08:47,337 --> 01:08:48,840 What the fuck? 984 01:08:48,907 --> 01:08:50,241 You didn't even think about his daughters! 985 01:08:50,307 --> 01:08:51,475 Marnie! Marnie, please! 986 01:08:51,542 --> 01:08:52,911 These are more than microaggressions! 987 01:08:52,977 --> 01:08:54,279 I fucking hate you! 988 01:08:54,344 --> 01:08:56,547 Guys, stop fighting, okay? Not now. 989 01:08:56,613 --> 01:08:58,016 Grab some garland and some lights. 990 01:08:58,082 --> 01:08:59,483 We can rappel off this thing. 991 01:09:43,328 --> 01:09:44,762 I'm okay! 992 01:09:46,130 --> 01:09:47,431 Yeah, me too! 993 01:09:47,497 --> 01:09:49,868 Oh, why are those things so filthy? 994 01:09:51,401 --> 01:09:52,971 Guys, why is the garbage so wet? 995 01:09:53,037 --> 01:09:55,039 Chris, you can do it. 996 01:09:56,207 --> 01:09:57,742 Three, two. 997 01:09:57,809 --> 01:09:58,675 Come on. 998 01:09:58,743 --> 01:10:00,345 Mm-mm. Mm-mm. 999 01:10:00,410 --> 01:10:03,047 Oh! Five, four... 1000 01:10:03,114 --> 01:10:05,216 Whoa! 1001 01:10:05,283 --> 01:10:06,918 Oh, God. 1002 01:10:06,985 --> 01:10:09,254 Are you okay? 1003 01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:11,089 That thing just shook me off the side of the roof, 1004 01:10:11,155 --> 01:10:13,457 which is perfectly fine because I was gonna jump anyway. 1005 01:10:13,523 --> 01:10:14,424 It's, like, not even that bad in here. 1006 01:10:14,491 --> 01:10:16,493 Okay, Chris. Let's go. 1007 01:10:16,560 --> 01:10:18,997 Chris? What about me? 1008 01:10:20,798 --> 01:10:24,335 You can stay here with the rest of the trash. 1009 01:10:24,401 --> 01:10:26,237 Ow! 1010 01:10:26,304 --> 01:10:27,972 I'm sorry! 1011 01:10:28,039 --> 01:10:31,075 He was kind of on all of our shit, though, right? 1012 01:10:31,142 --> 01:10:32,576 I mean, he said you were 1013 01:10:32,643 --> 01:10:35,847 a waste of potential, Chris, right? 1014 01:10:35,914 --> 01:10:38,448 He said that you were his girlfriend. 1015 01:10:38,515 --> 01:10:40,450 Girl, bye! 1016 01:10:40,517 --> 01:10:42,419 Dude was gonna lead us to certain death 1017 01:10:42,486 --> 01:10:44,621 'cause he was afraid for his daughters. 1018 01:10:45,690 --> 01:10:47,591 I did us all a favor! 1019 01:10:49,827 --> 01:10:50,962 Hey! 1020 01:11:00,004 --> 01:11:01,672 We have to make a run for it. 1021 01:11:01,739 --> 01:11:03,908 Check every car, and try to stay quiet. 1022 01:11:09,914 --> 01:11:11,716 Any of those things out here? 1023 01:11:11,783 --> 01:11:14,686 I think they're inside of that... thing. 1024 01:11:14,752 --> 01:11:16,020 Looks like the coast is clear. 1025 01:11:18,588 --> 01:11:20,224 This place is gonna blow. 1026 01:11:20,291 --> 01:11:22,459 Try to find a car that's unlocked. 1027 01:11:22,526 --> 01:11:23,493 Jonathan would have had a plan! 1028 01:11:23,560 --> 01:11:26,230 We need a plan! 1029 01:11:26,297 --> 01:11:28,166 Oh, shit! 1030 01:11:36,606 --> 01:11:38,343 Oh, Brian, God damn it! 1031 01:11:42,512 --> 01:11:44,015 Let's go. 1032 01:11:54,092 --> 01:11:56,660 What the fuck is he doing now? 1033 01:12:03,533 --> 01:12:06,004 Oh, my God. 1034 01:12:08,306 --> 01:12:10,108 What is that thing? 1035 01:12:18,349 --> 01:12:21,052 It's mom-fucking-Kong. 1036 01:12:28,625 --> 01:12:29,894 What do we do now? 1037 01:12:32,397 --> 01:12:34,032 It's all the shoppers. 1038 01:12:40,104 --> 01:12:42,006 What if I can get through to it? 1039 01:12:46,310 --> 01:12:47,611 Are you crazy? 1040 01:12:48,612 --> 01:12:50,748 It's a management thing. 1041 01:12:50,815 --> 01:12:52,483 You'd never understand, Marnie. 1042 01:12:58,256 --> 01:13:00,491 Hi there! 1043 01:13:00,557 --> 01:13:02,960 My name is Brian. 1044 01:13:03,027 --> 01:13:04,495 And I love toys! 1045 01:13:13,504 --> 01:13:14,806 Okay. 1046 01:13:14,872 --> 01:13:16,908 I know you're scared. 1047 01:13:16,974 --> 01:13:20,378 I'm scared too. That's right. 1048 01:13:20,445 --> 01:13:22,612 I'm not gonna hurt you. 1049 01:13:22,680 --> 01:13:24,648 Come closer. 1050 01:13:24,715 --> 01:13:26,851 You and I have been through a lot, you know? 1051 01:13:28,152 --> 01:13:31,055 You remember Black Friday 2016? 1052 01:13:34,225 --> 01:13:37,728 Uh, I know the shopper experience. 1053 01:13:37,795 --> 01:13:40,465 I mean, as I always say, 1054 01:13:40,531 --> 01:13:42,967 when in doubt, go shopping! 1055 01:13:49,073 --> 01:13:52,210 You and me, we have so many mems. 1056 01:13:54,644 --> 01:13:56,646 If anyone knows, 1057 01:13:56,714 --> 01:13:58,249 the customer's always r... 1058 01:13:59,750 --> 01:14:01,352 Oh, my God. 1059 01:14:03,855 --> 01:14:05,389 Shit. Shit. 1060 01:14:05,456 --> 01:14:06,858 Ken's SUV is over there. 1061 01:14:07,825 --> 01:14:09,659 He didn't give us the keys. 1062 01:14:12,396 --> 01:14:15,166 And he didn't put the fucking carts away! 1063 01:14:15,233 --> 01:14:16,666 Knock, knock! 1064 01:14:20,738 --> 01:14:23,774 You're supposed to say, "Who's there?" 1065 01:14:23,841 --> 01:14:25,977 - Now a bad time for a dad joke? - Ken! 1066 01:14:28,212 --> 01:14:29,847 We didn't think you'd make it. 1067 01:14:29,914 --> 01:14:31,349 Did you see Brian get just fucking... 1068 01:14:31,415 --> 01:14:32,517 Like a paper football. 1069 01:14:36,687 --> 01:14:39,423 Ken, I'm sorry. 1070 01:14:39,490 --> 01:14:42,527 I'm sorry too. I was an asshole. 1071 01:14:42,593 --> 01:14:43,828 You're too good for a toy store. 1072 01:14:43,895 --> 01:14:45,229 You both are. 1073 01:14:45,296 --> 01:14:46,864 That's why we need to get out of here. 1074 01:14:46,931 --> 01:14:48,699 Come on, let's go. Go, go, go, go! 1075 01:15:08,019 --> 01:15:09,320 What the hell are we gonna do? 1076 01:15:09,387 --> 01:15:11,822 If we run, that thing's gonna pick us off. 1077 01:15:12,924 --> 01:15:14,091 I have an idea. 1078 01:15:19,897 --> 01:15:21,966 Chris, please don't play hero. 1079 01:15:22,033 --> 01:15:24,402 Can you distract that thing? 1080 01:15:24,468 --> 01:15:25,703 I'ma hold you down. 1081 01:15:25,770 --> 01:15:28,372 - Don't. - No, Jonathan was right. 1082 01:15:28,439 --> 01:15:30,007 It's fucking Thanksgiving. 1083 01:15:30,074 --> 01:15:31,409 I'm deciding right here right now, 1084 01:15:31,475 --> 01:15:32,843 you guys are my family. 1085 01:15:32,910 --> 01:15:34,111 - So can you do it? - Yeah. 1086 01:15:35,646 --> 01:15:37,582 No, I'll do it. He's got kids. 1087 01:15:37,648 --> 01:15:39,784 No, no, you won't. Hey! Hey! 1088 01:15:39,850 --> 01:15:41,619 Whoa! Hey, right here! 1089 01:15:41,687 --> 01:15:44,255 Hey, right here! Hey! 1090 01:15:48,926 --> 01:15:51,028 I don't like you. 1091 01:15:51,095 --> 01:15:53,164 I don't have to help you. 1092 01:15:53,231 --> 01:15:55,566 I got your discount right here. 1093 01:15:55,633 --> 01:15:57,802 Look at this. Whoa, whoa, hey! 1094 01:15:57,868 --> 01:15:59,971 Hey, check this out. Check it out, huh? 1095 01:16:00,037 --> 01:16:03,140 You see that? Hey! Hey! 1096 01:16:03,207 --> 01:16:05,776 Right here, you big bitch! Right here! 1097 01:16:07,778 --> 01:16:10,181 I don't need to help you. 1098 01:16:10,248 --> 01:16:13,584 I got your discount right here! Look at this. 1099 01:16:13,651 --> 01:16:16,220 Look here! 1100 01:16:16,287 --> 01:16:18,122 Hey! Hey! 1101 01:16:18,189 --> 01:16:20,057 Yo! 1102 01:16:32,169 --> 01:16:33,739 Oh, no! 1103 01:16:33,804 --> 01:16:36,574 Oh, no, Chris. No. 1104 01:17:07,538 --> 01:17:09,307 Come on! 1105 01:17:26,424 --> 01:17:28,092 Yes! Bang! 1106 01:17:56,087 --> 01:17:57,855 I think I just pissed it off. 1107 01:18:12,970 --> 01:18:14,572 Come on! I think we can make it to my car. 1108 01:18:14,638 --> 01:18:15,741 Let's go! Come on! 1109 01:18:15,807 --> 01:18:16,974 Come on! 1110 01:18:39,865 --> 01:18:41,665 Just a thing? 1111 01:18:41,733 --> 01:18:43,300 Just a thing. 1112 01:18:43,367 --> 01:18:44,435 Let's go. 1113 01:18:48,439 --> 01:18:49,907 Leah texted. 1114 01:18:49,974 --> 01:18:52,042 My daughters are okay. 1115 01:18:52,109 --> 01:18:54,478 They set up safe havens for people. 1116 01:18:55,212 --> 01:18:57,214 Sounds good to me. Let's do it. 1117 01:18:58,349 --> 01:19:00,651 We gotta make a detour first. 1118 01:19:00,719 --> 01:19:02,019 For what? 1119 01:19:03,487 --> 01:19:04,689 For pancakes. 1120 01:19:07,726 --> 01:19:08,959 Let's go! 1121 01:19:11,362 --> 01:19:12,798 Well... 1122 01:19:12,864 --> 01:19:14,932 well... well... well, 1123 01:19:14,999 --> 01:19:17,201 it's been a long day, day, day. 1124 01:19:17,268 --> 01:19:20,438 And this is surely the end.