1
00:01:57,902 --> 00:01:58,735
No.
2
00:02:05,176 --> 00:02:06,811
Get your face up!
3
00:02:06,844 --> 00:02:07,812
- Leave her alone, man.
- Chad.
4
00:02:08,511 --> 00:02:09,080
Chad!
5
00:02:10,513 --> 00:02:11,648
- Hmm.
- No!
6
00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:12,449
Bingo!
7
00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:13,818
No, no, not...
8
00:02:15,452 --> 00:02:16,787
Would somebody help me,
please?
9
00:02:16,821 --> 00:02:17,554
Help!
10
00:02:17,587 --> 00:02:18,956
Help, help, help, please!
11
00:02:20,124 --> 00:02:21,959
- Please!
- Dude took Summer.
12
00:02:21,993 --> 00:02:23,426
Oh, that's a shame, man.
13
00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:24,661
I mean she wasn't really
gonna fuck you anyway.
14
00:02:24,694 --> 00:02:25,329
Wait!
15
00:02:25,363 --> 00:02:26,330
We... we gotta do something!
16
00:02:26,364 --> 00:02:27,731
- Do what? Man has a fucking gun!
- I can't sit...
17
00:02:27,765 --> 00:02:29,767
That is a weapon,
he will kill us.
18
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,601
- Do you want to die, Neil?
- No, I don't want to die.
19
00:02:31,635 --> 00:02:33,104
Do you want to die a virgin,
Neil? I don't.
20
00:02:33,137 --> 00:02:34,972
I mean, I'm not saying
I'm a virgin, I'm just saying...
21
00:02:35,006 --> 00:02:36,073
Okay, look,
I've got to do something.
22
00:02:36,107 --> 00:02:38,175
But, like, Summer doesn't even
know you exist, man.
23
00:02:38,209 --> 00:02:39,576
- Don't be a hero.
- No.
24
00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:41,212
No, no.
25
00:02:43,613 --> 00:02:44,481
Shit!
26
00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:51,188
Rest in peace, Mr. Lincoln.
27
00:02:51,222 --> 00:02:53,723
You're a kind man
and a damn good bus driver.
28
00:03:00,998 --> 00:03:02,233
You just drive over
Mr. Lincoln?
29
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,467
Ah, there's a chance, yeah.
30
00:03:07,805 --> 00:03:09,807
Alright, quick, grab me some
Coke and some Mentos.
31
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:10,674
What the fuck?
32
00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:11,275
Where am I supposed to get
that from?
33
00:03:11,309 --> 00:03:13,144
I don't know, just do it!
34
00:03:13,177 --> 00:03:14,444
Shit!
35
00:03:16,579 --> 00:03:17,014
Here.
36
00:03:17,048 --> 00:03:17,949
Nice!
37
00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,218
Shit!
38
00:03:21,252 --> 00:03:22,219
Alright, grab the wheel,
grab the wheel!
39
00:03:22,253 --> 00:03:23,788
Fuck, no! I'm not grabbing
the fucking wheel!
40
00:03:23,821 --> 00:03:24,587
Yeah, you're gonna grab
the wheel.
41
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:25,923
I need to get closer
to the van.
42
00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,194
Get me closer.
43
00:03:30,227 --> 00:03:31,796
I'm going!
44
00:03:34,765 --> 00:03:35,833
Out of the way!
45
00:03:41,906 --> 00:03:43,240
Oh, fuck!
46
00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:00,257
Oh, fuck!
47
00:04:00,291 --> 00:04:01,058
What the fuck, Neil!
48
00:04:01,092 --> 00:04:02,059
Are you fucking crazy?
49
00:04:07,597 --> 00:04:08,232
Fuck!
50
00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:19,810
Fuck!
51
00:04:22,113 --> 00:04:22,780
Shit!
52
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,431
Please be okay.
53
00:04:40,464 --> 00:04:42,800
I just don't have time to look
for a new best friend right now.
54
00:04:53,844 --> 00:04:54,812
You're a hero!
55
00:04:54,845 --> 00:04:57,181
Yeah, that's my best mother
fuckin' friend!
56
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,282
Way to go, bro!
57
00:05:00,284 --> 00:05:01,285
You're the man, Neil!
58
00:05:01,318 --> 00:05:03,720
You saved me, Neil.
59
00:05:03,754 --> 00:05:05,056
You know my name.
60
00:05:05,089 --> 00:05:06,123
Of course, I do.
61
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:10,094
I've had my eye on you
for a while.
62
00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:12,595
You give me butterflies.
63
00:05:12,629 --> 00:05:14,031
- Really?
- Yeah.
64
00:05:14,065 --> 00:05:15,598
- Me?
- You.
65
00:05:19,103 --> 00:05:21,338
Now kiss me...
66
00:05:21,372 --> 00:05:24,141
...and...
67
00:05:24,175 --> 00:05:26,043
...and simultaneously
finger me.
68
00:05:26,944 --> 00:05:28,345
Your wish is my command.
69
00:05:29,814 --> 00:05:30,848
Perfect!
70
00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:51,235
Can you please fucking knock?
71
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:51,969
Jesus!
72
00:05:52,002 --> 00:05:52,837
Relax needle dick.
73
00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:54,138
I just need to borrow
your charger.
74
00:05:54,171 --> 00:05:56,173
No, you're not gonna borrow it,
you're gonna fucking steal it.
75
00:05:56,207 --> 00:05:56,974
Virgin!
76
00:05:57,007 --> 00:05:58,976
Can you...
you just...
77
00:05:59,009 --> 00:06:01,212
Mom,
can I please get my own bathroom?
78
00:06:01,245 --> 00:06:04,081
It's like Neil's fucking
cum cave in there.
79
00:06:04,115 --> 00:06:05,816
First day of
school, are we all excited?
80
00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:07,351
Yeah, extremely.
81
00:06:07,384 --> 00:06:10,754
Dad, can you please fix
the lock on the bathroom?
82
00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:13,224
And Mom, Jaclyn keeps losing her
chargers and stealing mine.
83
00:06:13,257 --> 00:06:15,359
I will get the door fixed today,
I hope.
84
00:06:15,392 --> 00:06:15,993
Yeah.
85
00:06:18,229 --> 00:06:19,363
Oh, Mom, I'm spending the night
at Madison's tonight.
86
00:06:19,396 --> 00:06:21,432
Oh, yeah, can you rephrase that
as a question, please?
87
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:22,867
And we don't eat this
as a...
88
00:06:24,368 --> 00:06:26,237
May I please sleep over
at Madison's?
89
00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:27,670
You may.
90
00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,142
Excuse me?
91
00:06:31,175 --> 00:06:31,976
Breakfast is served.
92
00:06:32,009 --> 00:06:33,110
Here we go, come on.
93
00:06:33,144 --> 00:06:34,845
Wait.
94
00:06:34,879 --> 00:06:36,247
Waffles again?
95
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,849
Oh, man, I've got cacao banana
and saffron blueberry.
96
00:06:38,883 --> 00:06:39,716
I'm good, Dad.
97
00:06:39,749 --> 00:06:40,351
- Dad, I'm good.
- Oh, they're tasty.
98
00:06:40,384 --> 00:06:41,552
Dad, Daddy, I'm good, too.
99
00:06:41,585 --> 00:06:42,253
- I don't want waffles again.
- No, no, no, nobody's good.
100
00:06:42,286 --> 00:06:44,721
We're gonna sit down together
101
00:06:44,755 --> 00:06:46,223
and eat your father's delicious
breakfast as a family.
102
00:06:46,257 --> 00:06:47,324
Let's go.
103
00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:50,027
I mean even if it's only
for five second,
104
00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:50,895
that's what we're doing.
Understand?
105
00:06:50,928 --> 00:06:52,029
- Okay, Mom.
- Yes.
106
00:06:52,062 --> 00:06:52,863
- Alright, alright.
- Okay, good.
107
00:06:52,897 --> 00:06:54,064
Yes.
108
00:06:54,565 --> 00:06:55,966
- Here you go, dear.
- Thank you.
109
00:07:04,808 --> 00:07:05,776
You know this is really nice...
110
00:07:05,809 --> 00:07:06,343
I gotta go.
111
00:07:06,377 --> 00:07:07,178
I really gotta go.
112
00:07:07,211 --> 00:07:08,078
I'm sorry,
I'm gonna miss the bus.
113
00:07:08,112 --> 00:07:09,046
Do you remember
where you put my bike?
114
00:07:09,079 --> 00:07:11,115
- I stuck it in the garage...
- Thank you, Dad.
115
00:07:11,148 --> 00:07:12,249
- Okay, thank you,
- Love you, Mom.
116
00:07:12,283 --> 00:07:13,384
- Okay, love you guys!
- Love you, too.
117
00:07:15,486 --> 00:07:16,220
I have five seconds.
118
00:07:17,955 --> 00:07:19,089
Wait!
119
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,359
You can find me, come on.
120
00:07:27,331 --> 00:07:27,932
Morning, Neil!
121
00:07:27,965 --> 00:07:29,433
Still riding the bus, huh?
122
00:07:29,466 --> 00:07:31,368
Yeah, keeping you employed,
Mr. Lincoln.
123
00:07:34,305 --> 00:07:37,141
Looks good, can I have some?
124
00:07:37,174 --> 00:07:39,009
Um, alright.
125
00:07:40,177 --> 00:07:41,178
I guess.
126
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:00,331
Hey!
127
00:08:17,047 --> 00:08:19,049
Thank you. Bye, sweetie.
128
00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:19,984
Oh, my God.
129
00:08:20,017 --> 00:08:21,285
It's gonna be amazing.
130
00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:22,653
I know.
131
00:08:27,157 --> 00:08:29,560
Remember it is your senior year,
132
00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:33,297
so we are helping raise money
for the Shape-A-Wish Foundation.
133
00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:36,533
Please speak to me if you would
like to make a contribution
134
00:08:36,567 --> 00:08:38,736
or raise your hand
if you have any questions.
135
00:08:42,072 --> 00:08:43,974
Love the enthusiasm.
136
00:08:44,008 --> 00:08:45,409
Just a dying child.
137
00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:48,846
I'd say one thing I'd wish for
is for high school
138
00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:51,015
to finally be over.
139
00:08:51,048 --> 00:08:53,550
Yeah, you should make
the wish at eleven-eleven,
140
00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:55,286
save us all from this misery.
141
00:08:55,319 --> 00:08:57,354
Ionic bonds
are the kind of bond,
142
00:08:57,388 --> 00:08:58,489
the kind of chemical bond...
143
00:08:58,522 --> 00:09:01,091
Why would I waste my time
doing that?
144
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,126
Why not?
145
00:09:02,159 --> 00:09:04,228
I know this kid in, uh,
Cambodia.
146
00:09:04,261 --> 00:09:05,296
He actually wished
for his village to have
147
00:09:05,329 --> 00:09:06,830
clean drinking water.
148
00:09:06,864 --> 00:09:07,865
It came true.
149
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,869
So if anyone makes a wish
at eleven-eleven,
150
00:09:11,902 --> 00:09:13,504
it just comes true...
151
00:09:13,537 --> 00:09:15,039
What the hell
are we all still doing here?
152
00:09:15,072 --> 00:09:18,275
Well, maybe some of us
are here to learn, Neil.
153
00:09:18,309 --> 00:09:19,943
Are you getting something
from this?
154
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,412
Covalent bonds,
155
00:09:21,445 --> 00:09:23,347
you don't have to worry about
using your math skills.
156
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:24,481
There is a catch, though.
157
00:09:24,515 --> 00:09:25,883
What?
158
00:09:25,916 --> 00:09:27,017
The universe has to agree
with your wish.
159
00:09:27,051 --> 00:09:28,886
Something that only lasts
for about twenty-four hours.
160
00:09:28,919 --> 00:09:31,255
Everything resets the very next
night at eleven-eleven.
161
00:09:31,288 --> 00:09:33,924
Complex acids are the ones you
want to stay away from.
162
00:09:33,957 --> 00:09:36,327
Those are the ones that are
going to burn your face off.
163
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,061
Look it up, man.
164
00:09:37,094 --> 00:09:38,095
Google don't lie.
165
00:09:38,128 --> 00:09:39,096
Binary acid...
166
00:09:40,397 --> 00:09:41,432
Sorry I'm late.
167
00:09:41,465 --> 00:09:42,333
Thank you, Summer.
168
00:09:42,366 --> 00:09:43,467
Back there, please.
169
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,436
Combined together,
170
00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:49,306
they are dangerous and they
smell really bad.
171
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:51,642
So you guys are both invited
to my birthday party tomorrow.
172
00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,277
- Awesome, you look nice.
- Thanks.
173
00:09:55,245 --> 00:09:57,915
...on page 340,
we'll be looking at the evolution...
174
00:10:05,989 --> 00:10:07,558
- 'Sup, guys.
- What's up?
175
00:10:07,591 --> 00:10:09,426
Yo.
176
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:11,662
So did you hear your girl Summer
is having a party this weekend?
177
00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:13,897
- Everyone's talking about it.
- Mm-hmm.
178
00:10:13,931 --> 00:10:14,631
Hey, Madison.
179
00:10:15,132 --> 00:10:17,334
- Hi.
- How you doing?
180
00:10:17,368 --> 00:10:21,071
I might have heard something
about that, yeah.
181
00:10:21,105 --> 00:10:22,339
So are you gonna go?
182
00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:24,475
Not invited... yet.
183
00:10:24,508 --> 00:10:25,509
Yeah.
184
00:10:26,377 --> 00:10:27,578
Why don't you just ask,
185
00:10:27,611 --> 00:10:30,080
because I did
and I got a pineapple.
186
00:10:31,382 --> 00:10:32,649
I'll think about it.
187
00:10:32,683 --> 00:10:34,518
Neil,
she might actually like you.
188
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,519
But how would you know?
189
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,187
You've literally never talked
to her before
190
00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:40,023
or made any contact whatsoever.
191
00:10:40,057 --> 00:10:42,192
What's the worst you think
could happen?
192
00:10:42,861 --> 00:10:44,027
That's actually
really good advice.
193
00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,396
I'm gonna take your advice.
194
00:10:45,429 --> 00:10:48,031
Maddy, would you like
to my girl for cuffing season?
195
00:10:48,065 --> 00:10:49,199
You wish.
196
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:50,467
Yeah, she wants me.
197
00:10:50,501 --> 00:10:51,735
Oh, my God.
198
00:10:51,770 --> 00:10:54,605
You know I hate to agree with
Jaclyn, but she's right, man.
199
00:10:54,638 --> 00:10:55,973
Just do it.
200
00:10:56,006 --> 00:10:57,141
I'm serious,
just go over there and ask.
201
00:10:57,174 --> 00:10:58,075
Let's just try it,
me and you.
202
00:10:58,108 --> 00:10:59,576
We've got this.
203
00:10:59,610 --> 00:11:00,944
No, I'm not gonna go over there
and ask her for anything.
204
00:11:00,978 --> 00:11:01,545
Come on, man.
205
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:02,679
I'm... I'm dead serious.
206
00:11:02,713 --> 00:11:04,214
Come on, come on, Neil.
207
00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:05,616
Come on, come on, you've got to
take the risk.
208
00:11:05,649 --> 00:11:07,184
No, dude,
what am I gonna say to her?
209
00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:07,852
Neil, you're over thinking it.
210
00:11:07,886 --> 00:11:09,219
Just breathe, just breathe.
211
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,954
I can't,
I have nothing to say.
212
00:11:10,988 --> 00:11:11,522
I think I...
213
00:11:11,555 --> 00:11:12,589
Uh, hey, Summer.
214
00:11:12,623 --> 00:11:14,224
Yes.
215
00:11:14,258 --> 00:11:15,259
Uh, my friend Neil would like
to ask you a question.
216
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,361
Okay.
217
00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:21,098
Um, I...
I was just gonna say...
218
00:11:21,766 --> 00:11:22,566
Oh, my...
219
00:11:37,448 --> 00:11:39,383
So, Ava, do you want to be
my girl for cuffing season?
220
00:11:51,528 --> 00:11:53,263
I don't want to see anyone
right now.
221
00:11:54,498 --> 00:11:56,467
Yeah, I know,
but Gilbert's here.
222
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,535
Great, I said I don't want to
see anyone right now...
223
00:11:58,569 --> 00:12:01,171
Too bad now,
I'm already here.
224
00:12:01,205 --> 00:12:02,172
See ya later, guys.
225
00:12:02,206 --> 00:12:03,540
Looking good, Mrs. Tobbler.
226
00:12:03,574 --> 00:12:04,708
I don't feel like dancing.
227
00:12:11,081 --> 00:12:13,083
That's right, good dance!
228
00:12:13,116 --> 00:12:14,117
I can't do it, man.
229
00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,519
I can't go back to school.
230
00:12:15,552 --> 00:12:17,287
And left.
231
00:12:17,321 --> 00:12:18,489
I need to go in like the witness
protection program or something
232
00:12:18,522 --> 00:12:19,189
and get a new identify.
233
00:12:19,223 --> 00:12:20,657
I can't...
I can't handle it.
234
00:12:20,691 --> 00:12:22,025
You've got this.
235
00:12:22,059 --> 00:12:23,627
Well look, as your real friend,
236
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,128
quite frankly, your only friend.
237
00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,029
You're not my only friend.
238
00:12:26,063 --> 00:12:26,597
Alright now.
239
00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:27,765
Who's your other friend?
240
00:12:27,799 --> 00:12:29,099
Uh, Brad.
241
00:12:29,132 --> 00:12:30,802
- Brad from preschool?
- Yeah.
242
00:12:30,835 --> 00:12:33,203
Yeah, cool, so as your only
friend I'm always gonna keep it
243
00:12:33,237 --> 00:12:34,404
a hundred, man.
244
00:12:34,438 --> 00:12:36,106
I'm not gonna act like today
wasn't actually rock bottom,
245
00:12:36,139 --> 00:12:37,674
which it was.
246
00:12:37,708 --> 00:12:39,209
I mean, I'm actually here
on suicide watch.
247
00:12:39,243 --> 00:12:40,677
I don't want to see you
hang yourself with some
248
00:12:40,711 --> 00:12:42,446
plastic bag from the ceiling fan
or some shit.
249
00:12:42,479 --> 00:12:43,547
I've seen that shit
on YouTube.
250
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:44,515
That shit ain't pretty.
251
00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:46,049
Appreciate it.
252
00:12:46,083 --> 00:12:47,417
You're... you're really helping
me to feel better.
253
00:12:47,451 --> 00:12:50,087
What's the one thing we learned
from eighteen "Rocky" movies?
254
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:53,223
Um, Rocky never threw up
on his dream girl?
255
00:12:53,257 --> 00:12:54,525
No.
256
00:12:54,558 --> 00:12:56,393
It's not about how hard you
get hit.
257
00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:58,195
It's about how quick
you get back up.
258
00:12:58,228 --> 00:13:00,798
And move, and move.
259
00:13:01,665 --> 00:13:03,200
You are excellent!
260
00:13:03,233 --> 00:13:05,369
This is too hard a hit to come
back from, man.
261
00:13:05,402 --> 00:13:06,771
I'm never gonna get invited
to a party now.
262
00:13:06,804 --> 00:13:08,605
No.
263
00:13:08,639 --> 00:13:10,407
I'm not gonna get invited
anywhere near her ever again
264
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,108
most likely, like ever.
265
00:13:11,141 --> 00:13:12,743
Ever's a long time. Not ever.
266
00:13:12,777 --> 00:13:13,677
No, like for eternity,
like ever.
267
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,078
Come on, man, no.
268
00:13:15,112 --> 00:13:16,680
No, like the afterlife
and thereafter.
269
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:17,514
- No.
- Yeah.
270
00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:18,682
- No.
- Yeah.
271
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:19,516
Come on, team!
272
00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:20,217
No!
273
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:20,919
That's what I'm saying, yeah.
274
00:13:20,952 --> 00:13:22,319
It can't be that bad, man. No.
275
00:13:22,352 --> 00:13:23,086
Yes, it's that bad.
276
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,288
- Yes.
- No.
277
00:13:24,321 --> 00:13:25,088
- Yeah.
- No.
278
00:13:25,122 --> 00:13:25,556
- Yeah.
- No.
279
00:13:25,589 --> 00:13:26,223
- Yeah.
- No.
280
00:13:26,256 --> 00:13:26,657
- Yeah.
- No.
281
00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:27,524
- Yeah.
- No.
282
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:28,559
- Yes.
- Yeah, you're probably right.
283
00:13:28,592 --> 00:13:29,560
You guys should ache.
284
00:13:29,593 --> 00:13:30,260
It's bad.
285
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,169
Every time I see my neighbour,
he's in a different Porsche
286
00:13:39,202 --> 00:13:40,872
with a different woman.
287
00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:42,739
That is a lot of ass
for one man.
288
00:13:43,808 --> 00:13:44,308
Damn.
289
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,746
I just can't compete
with guys like Chad and Matt.
290
00:13:51,816 --> 00:13:53,183
We have different market
shares.
291
00:13:53,216 --> 00:13:55,485
They... they get hot girls
292
00:13:55,519 --> 00:13:59,256
and I get passwords
to Premium Pornhub.
293
00:13:59,289 --> 00:14:01,325
What you need to do is you need
to stop being stingy
294
00:14:01,358 --> 00:14:03,293
and pass us some Pornhub,
because I want to watch
295
00:14:03,327 --> 00:14:04,328
Premium porn, too.
296
00:14:04,361 --> 00:14:06,730
That's so surprising.
297
00:14:19,343 --> 00:14:21,111
I just wish someone thought
I was cool.
298
00:14:29,386 --> 00:14:31,856
Did you ever think your life
would be... would be different
299
00:14:31,889 --> 00:14:34,558
if you were...
300
00:14:34,591 --> 00:14:37,461
...Bill Gates'
or Steve Jobs' son,
301
00:14:37,494 --> 00:14:39,596
like, someone that mattered
in the universe or...
302
00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:40,932
or actually did cool shit.
303
00:14:40,965 --> 00:14:41,833
Th... that's your problem.
304
00:14:41,866 --> 00:14:43,768
It's not always
about the money, Neil.
305
00:14:46,403 --> 00:14:47,772
Although,
306
00:14:47,805 --> 00:14:49,774
if we're talking about it,
307
00:14:49,807 --> 00:14:51,508
I would like to be
Elon Musk's son.
308
00:14:51,541 --> 00:14:52,944
That's what I'm saying.
309
00:14:52,977 --> 00:14:54,544
I'd even suck your dick if it
meant I could be his son.
310
00:14:54,578 --> 00:14:56,213
Like that's my level of
commitment, man.
311
00:14:56,246 --> 00:14:57,849
So you think
there is an actual scenario
312
00:14:57,882 --> 00:15:00,785
where you sucking my dick
will lead to Elon Musk
313
00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:02,486
being your father?
314
00:15:02,519 --> 00:15:03,387
I don't know, man.
315
00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:05,522
The universe works
in mysterious ways.
316
00:15:05,555 --> 00:15:07,491
Never underestimate
the power of a good dick suck.
317
00:15:07,524 --> 00:15:09,393
I think we both spent most
of our lives thinking about
318
00:15:09,426 --> 00:15:11,561
the power of a good dick suck.
319
00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:13,397
You mean like giving one?
320
00:15:13,430 --> 00:15:15,232
'Cause that's not
what I'm talking about.
321
00:15:15,265 --> 00:15:16,500
See it's not the same thing.
322
00:15:16,533 --> 00:15:18,502
See I don't think
we're on the same page.
323
00:15:18,535 --> 00:15:21,471
No, I don't think I would know
how to give one, honestly.
324
00:15:24,374 --> 00:15:26,243
My dentist says
I gag too easily, anyway.
325
00:15:29,446 --> 00:15:30,815
Can I be honest with you, man?
326
00:15:32,649 --> 00:15:33,918
What's that?
327
00:15:33,951 --> 00:15:36,520
Summer and I would be lucky to
suck your dick.
328
00:15:38,288 --> 00:15:39,690
I mean it.
329
00:15:39,723 --> 00:15:41,491
Thank you.
330
00:15:41,525 --> 00:15:43,727
If it were up to me,
I would knight you,
331
00:15:43,761 --> 00:15:45,228
and then suck your dick.
332
00:15:46,496 --> 00:15:48,532
You know what?
333
00:15:48,565 --> 00:15:50,434
I was thinking that we'd go to
this really nice
334
00:15:50,467 --> 00:15:51,368
fast food restaurant.
335
00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:52,904
- Good night.
- Good night.
336
00:15:52,937 --> 00:15:54,237
You know how I like seafoods.
337
00:16:24,434 --> 00:16:26,904
Today was kind of a rough day,
338
00:16:26,938 --> 00:16:29,539
but hopefully
tomorrow will be better.
339
00:17:17,889 --> 00:17:19,689
Neil, wake up!
340
00:17:20,892 --> 00:17:22,960
Neil, you're gonna be late
for school!
341
00:17:25,863 --> 00:17:26,596
Neil!
342
00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,603
Yeah, you have something like
truffles and fish
343
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:34,972
Hmm.
344
00:17:35,006 --> 00:17:36,941
- Uh, see ya kid.
- Have a great day!
345
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:37,975
Wait!
346
00:17:38,009 --> 00:17:38,943
Wait!
347
00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:40,978
Wait!
348
00:17:41,012 --> 00:17:42,280
Wait!
349
00:17:54,524 --> 00:17:58,095
Frienemies, who, when you're
down, ain't your friend
350
00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:01,398
Dude, I barely slept last night.
351
00:18:01,431 --> 00:18:03,533
I feel like a dumb ass moron
piece of shit loser
352
00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:04,802
who should just off himself.
353
00:18:06,804 --> 00:18:07,939
Cool story, bro.
354
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,875
Gilbert, where you going?
355
00:18:14,578 --> 00:18:15,412
What the fuck?
356
00:18:36,100 --> 00:18:37,734
Fuck!
357
00:19:10,935 --> 00:19:12,803
Sweet baby Jesus!
358
00:19:17,842 --> 00:19:18,876
Mm.
359
00:19:25,850 --> 00:19:27,084
Okay.
360
00:19:30,888 --> 00:19:32,622
- Hey, Neil.
- Hey, man.
361
00:19:32,656 --> 00:19:33,523
Hey.
362
00:19:34,158 --> 00:19:35,226
How are you?
363
00:19:35,259 --> 00:19:36,426
Hello.
364
00:19:37,661 --> 00:19:38,561
Hey, how's it going?
365
00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:39,931
Hey, man.
366
00:19:39,964 --> 00:19:41,531
What's up, guys?
367
00:19:41,564 --> 00:19:43,067
- Yo man.
- Hi.
368
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,201
Hello.
369
00:19:46,037 --> 00:19:47,872
Gilbert,
370
00:19:47,905 --> 00:19:48,873
you're never gonna
believe this,
371
00:19:48,906 --> 00:19:50,540
'cause it's fucking crazy,
372
00:19:50,573 --> 00:19:52,910
but I'm Neil.
373
00:19:52,944 --> 00:19:55,146
Yeah, and I'm fucking
Chris Rock, man.
374
00:19:55,179 --> 00:19:56,981
Now dude, I'm serious,
I'm Neil.
375
00:19:57,014 --> 00:19:59,016
And I'm for real
I'm Biggie Smalls.
376
00:19:59,050 --> 00:20:00,017
I'm not fuckin' around,
Gilbert.
377
00:20:00,051 --> 00:20:01,618
I'm Neil.
378
00:20:01,651 --> 00:20:02,619
Yeah, I'm fuckin' James Brown
back from the dead.
379
00:20:03,586 --> 00:20:04,088
Get the fuck outta here, man.
380
00:20:07,524 --> 00:20:10,094
I would like to knight you
and then suck your dick.
381
00:20:17,268 --> 00:20:18,635
It will be my honour.
382
00:20:25,009 --> 00:20:26,978
Go ahead, ask me any question
that only Neil would know
383
00:20:27,011 --> 00:20:28,012
the answer to.
384
00:20:28,045 --> 00:20:28,879
Yeah, but it wouldn't even
matter...
385
00:20:28,913 --> 00:20:30,247
- 'cause you don't know shit.
- I do.
386
00:20:30,281 --> 00:20:31,282
You're not gonna know
any of these fuckin' answers, man.
387
00:20:31,315 --> 00:20:32,116
- I know everything about you.
- Alright, fine.
388
00:20:32,149 --> 00:20:34,151
What's the all time
beat off record?
389
00:20:34,185 --> 00:20:35,252
Eleven and a half times.
390
00:20:37,687 --> 00:20:38,756
Lucky guess.
391
00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:41,691
My first crush.
392
00:20:41,725 --> 00:20:42,860
Sadly, it's my mom.
393
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:43,727
Yeah, it... it's wrong,
394
00:20:43,761 --> 00:20:44,829
because it's Neil's mom.
395
00:20:44,862 --> 00:20:45,796
That's my mom.
396
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:46,397
Neil's mom actually wants to
have a threesome
397
00:20:46,430 --> 00:20:46,964
with me and Neil's dad.
398
00:20:46,998 --> 00:20:48,698
Next fucking question.
399
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:51,902
If I were to make a rap group,
what would be the name of it?
400
00:20:51,936 --> 00:20:53,237
The Beverly Gil Billies.
401
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:54,704
Name my solo artist.
402
00:20:54,738 --> 00:20:56,073
G-String Fully Unloaded.
403
00:20:56,107 --> 00:20:58,309
My favourite country
to travel to.
404
00:20:58,342 --> 00:21:00,044
The Italian section of Pornhub.
405
00:21:00,077 --> 00:21:01,578
Who did I lose my virginity to?
406
00:21:03,047 --> 00:21:03,948
Neil can draw.
407
00:21:03,981 --> 00:21:05,282
Okay.
408
00:21:05,316 --> 00:21:06,616
He-he's basically like
Picachio or some shit.
409
00:21:06,649 --> 00:21:07,852
Yeah, it's true, Picasso, so.
410
00:21:07,885 --> 00:21:09,020
Whatever, whatever.
411
00:21:09,053 --> 00:21:10,054
Draw me.
412
00:21:10,087 --> 00:21:11,055
What do you mean, draw you?
413
00:21:11,088 --> 00:21:12,655
Prove to me that you're Neil.
414
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:13,991
Draw me like Jack
and I'll be your Rose.
415
00:21:14,025 --> 00:21:15,725
- What, like in Titanic?
- Yeah, like Titanic.
416
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,161
- You've never seen Titanic.
- It doesn't matter.
417
00:21:17,194 --> 00:21:17,727
I've seen her titties.
418
00:21:17,762 --> 00:21:18,728
That's all that matters.
419
00:21:18,763 --> 00:21:19,897
Okay, so you want me to paint
your titties.
420
00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:21,631
- Want me to draw your titties?
- If that's what it takes.
421
00:21:21,664 --> 00:21:22,732
Gilbert!
422
00:21:24,634 --> 00:21:26,937
Have you seen Neil today?
423
00:21:26,971 --> 00:21:28,139
He didn't show up
at school.
424
00:21:30,607 --> 00:21:32,009
Who the fuck are you,
petterass?
425
00:21:34,945 --> 00:21:36,781
This is really fuckin' weird.
426
00:21:36,814 --> 00:21:38,149
Um, don't be jealous.
427
00:21:38,182 --> 00:21:39,817
You can be next
if you want to be.
428
00:21:39,850 --> 00:21:41,185
- I am not jealous.
- You just gotta ask.
429
00:21:41,218 --> 00:21:42,887
Get up.
430
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,021
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Leave me the fuck alone.
431
00:21:44,055 --> 00:21:45,856
You're fuckin' letting
a complete stranger draw you.
432
00:21:45,890 --> 00:21:46,556
What...
433
00:21:52,763 --> 00:21:54,198
I mean it's like looking
in a mirror.
434
00:21:55,698 --> 00:21:57,334
Beauty is definitely in the eye
of the beholder,
435
00:21:57,368 --> 00:21:58,302
'cause that looks nothing
like you.
436
00:21:58,335 --> 00:21:59,702
Why... why can't you just
appreciate good art?
437
00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:00,637
Like what... what is your
problem?
438
00:22:00,670 --> 00:22:02,807
Wait, wait,
we can compare the drawings.
439
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:03,974
Com... compare the drawings
with...
440
00:22:04,008 --> 00:22:05,176
Yeah.
441
00:22:05,209 --> 00:22:06,243
Do you think you're on CSI
or some shit?
442
00:22:06,277 --> 00:22:07,945
What the fuck is wrong with you?
443
00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:09,346
No, do you think that you look
like a drawing or some shit?
444
00:22:09,380 --> 00:22:10,247
Um, I sure do.
445
00:22:10,281 --> 00:22:11,681
Um...
446
00:22:11,714 --> 00:22:12,383
We're not...
we're not looking in my iPad.
447
00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:13,417
It's just a quick scan, alright?
448
00:22:13,451 --> 00:22:14,285
- It's my brother's iPad.
- Final test, I promise.
449
00:22:14,318 --> 00:22:15,419
You know I'm sensitive
about my work.
450
00:22:15,453 --> 00:22:18,355
It's my brother's iPad, so I can
look at it if I want.
451
00:22:18,389 --> 00:22:19,090
It's my iPad.
452
00:22:19,123 --> 00:22:20,024
Why do you...-
Seriously, get...
453
00:22:20,057 --> 00:22:21,358
Oh...
454
00:22:21,392 --> 00:22:22,725
- You're not touching my iPad.
- Stranger Danger!
455
00:22:23,294 --> 00:22:24,128
God!
456
00:22:24,161 --> 00:22:25,963
Fuck!
457
00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:27,198
Fine, quick scan only.
458
00:22:27,231 --> 00:22:28,299
Yep.
459
00:22:28,332 --> 00:22:30,367
- That is what I plan to do.
- Jesus!
460
00:22:34,737 --> 00:22:36,073
Oh, wow, who is that?
461
00:22:37,975 --> 00:22:39,944
"The water is so nice and hot."
462
00:22:41,078 --> 00:22:42,645
- "So is my pussy."
- "So is my pussy."
463
00:22:42,679 --> 00:22:43,314
Wow.
464
00:22:45,682 --> 00:22:46,951
"Take this Game of thrones!"
465
00:22:47,852 --> 00:22:50,321
"And after I want
game of bones."
466
00:22:51,055 --> 00:22:51,688
The fuck?
467
00:22:53,190 --> 00:22:55,392
"I'm coming for your
planet, hero!"
468
00:22:55,426 --> 00:22:57,694
"I'm gonna own
your face dickhead."
469
00:22:57,727 --> 00:23:00,197
"Hope your dickhead
owns my face, Neil."
470
00:23:00,231 --> 00:23:01,232
Creative.
471
00:23:01,731 --> 00:23:03,300
- "Be careful with my pussy."
- That's cute.
472
00:23:05,302 --> 00:23:07,371
Doesn't that kind of look
like...
473
00:23:07,404 --> 00:23:08,939
Fuck, it does.
474
00:23:12,943 --> 00:23:14,145
Do you believe me?
475
00:23:14,178 --> 00:23:15,846
Are we on the same page?
476
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,181
Can you help me out?
477
00:23:17,948 --> 00:23:19,850
Alright, just making
an Insta profile for you, man.
478
00:23:19,884 --> 00:23:21,752
We've got to keep striking
while the iron is hot.
479
00:23:21,785 --> 00:23:22,820
What's your cool new name
for social purposes?
480
00:23:22,853 --> 00:23:23,988
Don't say Neil.
481
00:23:24,021 --> 00:23:25,055
What's wrong with Neil?
482
00:23:25,089 --> 00:23:26,757
Well, it's nerdy.
483
00:23:26,790 --> 00:23:27,958
You know, it doesn't really fit
with the image right now.
484
00:23:27,992 --> 00:23:28,893
No, it does not.
485
00:23:28,926 --> 00:23:30,027
Give me a name, I need a name.
486
00:23:30,060 --> 00:23:30,828
- Greg.
- No.
487
00:23:30,861 --> 00:23:31,428
- Vincent.
- No.
488
00:23:31,462 --> 00:23:32,263
- Arnold.
- No.
489
00:23:32,296 --> 00:23:32,997
- Hernandez.
- No.
490
00:23:33,030 --> 00:23:33,564
- Fred.
- No.
491
00:23:33,597 --> 00:23:35,266
- You're Ace.
- Ace.
492
00:23:35,299 --> 00:23:36,400
No, Ace is terrible.
493
00:23:36,433 --> 00:23:37,168
No, no it's not.
494
00:23:37,201 --> 00:23:39,303
Like Ace Ventura,
Pet Detective.
495
00:23:39,336 --> 00:23:40,703
The greatest film of all time.
496
00:23:40,737 --> 00:23:41,939
What are you talking about?
497
00:23:41,972 --> 00:23:44,041
Listen, I'll cover for you
with Mom and Dad
498
00:23:44,074 --> 00:23:45,776
until we figure out whatever
the fuck is happening
499
00:23:45,809 --> 00:23:47,411
to your body.
500
00:23:47,444 --> 00:23:50,114
Well, my future girl, Ava,
has a gig at the Rusty Records
501
00:23:50,147 --> 00:23:50,981
in an hour.
502
00:23:51,015 --> 00:23:51,815
Yeah.
503
00:23:51,849 --> 00:23:53,050
Stalker.
504
00:23:53,551 --> 00:23:55,452
Well, Summer will probably be
there, too.
505
00:23:55,486 --> 00:23:56,253
Really?
506
00:23:56,287 --> 00:23:57,488
Mm, yeah come on,
507
00:23:57,521 --> 00:23:58,556
we've got to get you
some new clothes,
508
00:23:58,589 --> 00:24:00,723
because right now
you're a ten in two's clothing.
509
00:24:00,758 --> 00:24:02,459
Who do you think you are,
Anna Wintour?
510
00:24:02,493 --> 00:24:03,460
Who the fuck is that?
511
00:24:07,064 --> 00:24:09,133
Yo, yo, this is your boy Gilbert
and I'm here to introduce
512
00:24:09,166 --> 00:24:11,468
my new best friend,
Ace, the actor, the model,
513
00:24:11,502 --> 00:24:12,503
the artist.
514
00:24:12,536 --> 00:24:14,471
Yo, Ace tell
the people about it.
515
00:24:14,505 --> 00:24:16,006
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
516
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,942
Me... me and Gilbert,
we've been best friends since
517
00:24:17,975 --> 00:24:19,476
forever and...
518
00:24:19,510 --> 00:24:21,045
Yeah, so what did you even
wish for?
519
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,282
Second chance with Summer.
520
00:24:25,316 --> 00:24:26,951
Second chance?
521
00:24:26,984 --> 00:24:29,253
Well, what kind of soft basic
shit is that?
522
00:24:29,286 --> 00:24:31,922
You guys could help yourself to
some gum or water or Binaca.
523
00:24:33,357 --> 00:24:34,458
Are you famous, by the way?
524
00:24:34,491 --> 00:24:36,126
No, man. No, I'm not.
525
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,127
Yeah, yeah,
I'm not talking to you, pal.
526
00:24:37,161 --> 00:24:39,163
You have the face of someone
who's not famous.
527
00:24:39,196 --> 00:24:40,497
I'm talking to your
hot friend over there,
528
00:24:40,531 --> 00:24:42,800
that white, steamy cream puff
next to you.
529
00:24:42,833 --> 00:24:44,335
No, me? No, no.
530
00:24:44,368 --> 00:24:45,236
No, I'm not famous.
531
00:24:45,269 --> 00:24:46,537
Well, you could be.
532
00:24:46,570 --> 00:24:47,438
I'm not gay, but my girlfriend
and I are looking
533
00:24:47,471 --> 00:24:48,472
for a third, so.
534
00:24:48,505 --> 00:24:49,773
Face like that...
535
00:24:50,507 --> 00:24:51,408
...booty!
536
00:24:51,442 --> 00:24:53,811
What so, I... I don't have
that look, bro?
537
00:24:53,844 --> 00:24:55,512
Yeah, you have a face,
but it's like a,
538
00:24:55,546 --> 00:24:57,381
like a moon pie.
539
00:24:57,414 --> 00:24:59,049
- Now he's calling you slow.
- Is he paid to be disrespectful?
540
00:25:02,186 --> 00:25:03,954
Are you two being helped?
541
00:25:03,988 --> 00:25:06,190
Uh, no, no, we're just... we're
just browsing for right now
542
00:25:06,223 --> 00:25:08,359
looking for some cool tees,
maybe some ripped jeans.
543
00:25:08,392 --> 00:25:10,294
Nice, nice.
544
00:25:10,327 --> 00:25:12,029
Need help being styled?
545
00:25:12,062 --> 00:25:14,131
Uh, yeah, yeah, that'd great.
546
00:25:14,164 --> 00:25:15,266
I'm... I'm super new to all this.
547
00:25:15,299 --> 00:25:17,134
Yeah? What did you just start
modeling or something?
548
00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:19,003
- Uh, yeah.
- Oh.
549
00:25:19,036 --> 00:25:20,104
Yeah, but we're, uh, trying to
change this into acting 'cause
550
00:25:20,137 --> 00:25:22,406
our fan base is so up our ass
about it, you know.
551
00:25:22,439 --> 00:25:23,207
Yeah, no, I bet.
552
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:23,674
Um...
553
00:25:24,408 --> 00:25:25,409
I would be, too.
554
00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:27,911
Who you with?
555
00:25:27,945 --> 00:25:30,547
Uh, well, I basically just got
offered a hand job from a guy
556
00:25:30,581 --> 00:25:33,050
who sells ball trimmers outside.
I wouldn't say I'm "with" him.
557
00:25:33,083 --> 00:25:34,551
Like, I mean, he's cool
or whatever,
558
00:25:34,585 --> 00:25:36,220
but I don't really know him like
that for him to be, you know,
559
00:25:36,253 --> 00:25:36,954
jerking me off.
560
00:25:39,290 --> 00:25:40,291
Yeah, you're funny, man.
561
00:25:40,324 --> 00:25:43,327
What is this guy,
like your agent or something?
562
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:44,862
Uh, no.
563
00:25:44,895 --> 00:25:47,231
Uh, he actually, no, yeah, yeah,
he's my manger.
564
00:25:47,264 --> 00:25:50,534
Um, we're shopping for an agency
right now.
565
00:25:50,567 --> 00:25:52,436
You know, doing the whole
Hollywood water bottle meet
566
00:25:52,469 --> 00:25:53,137
and greet thing.
567
00:25:53,170 --> 00:25:54,405
Right.
568
00:25:54,438 --> 00:25:55,339
Yeah, you know,
it's such a small community.
569
00:25:55,372 --> 00:25:56,473
Yeah, no, no, I know, I know.
570
00:25:56,507 --> 00:25:58,442
I'm part of the community also.
571
00:25:58,475 --> 00:26:01,445
I mean, look at me, you know.
572
00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:05,616
But, uh, hey, you guys know who
Victoria V is, though, right?
573
00:26:05,649 --> 00:26:09,053
Yeah, but I mean we basically
share a Pilates instructor, man.
574
00:26:09,086 --> 00:26:10,020
Yeah, I love Victoria.
575
00:26:10,054 --> 00:26:11,588
She's a great gal.
576
00:26:11,622 --> 00:26:13,590
Oh, then you probably already
know about her very exclusive
577
00:26:13,624 --> 00:26:16,093
party she's having at her place.
578
00:26:16,126 --> 00:26:20,564
Hot models, and, uh, look I hate
to sound crass, but it's a fact,
579
00:26:20,597 --> 00:26:23,967
a lot of wild, dirty sex
happening.
580
00:26:24,001 --> 00:26:26,870
The password to get in,
Fuckingham Palace.
581
00:26:26,904 --> 00:26:27,971
Sold.
582
00:26:28,005 --> 00:26:29,973
Sweet! You on Insta?
583
00:26:30,007 --> 00:26:31,642
I'll tag you on the invite,
put you on the guest list,
584
00:26:31,675 --> 00:26:34,445
otherwise, like, a thousand
bucks per person to get in.
585
00:26:34,478 --> 00:26:35,646
Yeah, we're... we're actually
about to go see
586
00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:38,215
my girl real quick, but, uh,
if anything, just invite me.
587
00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:39,383
Send me the invite, too.
588
00:26:39,416 --> 00:26:40,617
You know, we'll...
we'll meet up with you,
589
00:26:40,651 --> 00:26:42,353
we'll have some fun.
590
00:26:42,386 --> 00:26:43,520
- You know what I'm saying?
- You can be his plus one, yeah.
591
00:26:43,554 --> 00:26:45,556
Plus...? Yeah, no, that's cool.
Yeah.
592
00:26:51,295 --> 00:26:52,896
Ava, you were amazing.
593
00:26:52,930 --> 00:26:53,630
You killed it.
594
00:26:53,664 --> 00:26:54,098
- Thank you.
- Beautiful.
595
00:26:54,131 --> 00:26:55,199
Yeah, for real.
596
00:26:55,232 --> 00:26:56,433
What she said, man.
597
00:26:56,467 --> 00:26:57,501
I'm gonna need some lessons
from you one day.
598
00:26:57,534 --> 00:26:59,103
Alright babe,
I'll see you...
599
00:26:59,136 --> 00:26:59,771
Fantastic, babe.
600
00:26:59,804 --> 00:27:01,004
- Seriously.
- Thank you!
601
00:27:01,038 --> 00:27:02,473
- Good job.
- Thanks.
602
00:27:02,506 --> 00:27:04,074
- Oh, you did so good!
- Thank you, babe!
603
00:27:05,709 --> 00:27:07,111
Hey, great job.
604
00:27:07,144 --> 00:27:08,979
Some of the most beautiful music
I've ever heard.
605
00:27:09,012 --> 00:27:10,547
Thank you.
606
00:27:10,581 --> 00:27:14,385
Oh, yeah, aren't you
friends with pukey?
607
00:27:14,418 --> 00:27:16,086
Oh, you mean Neil?
608
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:17,121
I don't know his name.
609
00:27:17,154 --> 00:27:19,490
Yeah, no one, no one knows that
was his name.
610
00:27:19,523 --> 00:27:20,224
Yeah, right?
611
00:27:20,257 --> 00:27:21,291
Guy was a loser.
612
00:27:21,325 --> 00:27:22,593
Good night,
thanks.
613
00:27:22,626 --> 00:27:24,962
What's up?
I'm, uh, I'm Chad.
614
00:27:24,995 --> 00:27:26,597
Uh, hi. Oh!
615
00:27:26,630 --> 00:27:28,632
I'm... Ace.
616
00:27:28,665 --> 00:27:30,067
Like Ace Ventura.
617
00:27:30,100 --> 00:27:32,236
Oh, yeah. I love that band.
618
00:27:32,269 --> 00:27:34,204
Are you guys, uh, are you
friends with this guy?
619
00:27:34,238 --> 00:27:36,707
We're best friend, actually,
so you can ease up.
620
00:27:36,740 --> 00:27:38,208
- Wait, excuse me?
- What?
621
00:27:38,242 --> 00:27:39,443
- What did you say?
- What did you hear?
622
00:27:41,145 --> 00:27:41,612
Alright.
623
00:27:46,483 --> 00:27:47,251
- You ready?
- No.
624
00:27:47,284 --> 00:27:48,218
- You ready?
- No.
625
00:27:48,252 --> 00:27:49,453
- Good luck.
- Good luck.
626
00:28:05,269 --> 00:28:07,171
I'm... A... ss...
627
00:28:07,772 --> 00:28:09,339
Ass?
628
00:28:09,373 --> 00:28:11,008
Did your parents hate you
or something?
629
00:28:11,041 --> 00:28:11,575
No.
630
00:28:11,608 --> 00:28:14,611
Um, sorry, sorry.
631
00:28:14,645 --> 00:28:16,013
I don't know what just happened
to my brain.
632
00:28:16,046 --> 00:28:17,314
- Um.
- Um.
633
00:28:17,347 --> 00:28:19,416
My name's Ace.
634
00:28:19,450 --> 00:28:20,451
Ace.
635
00:28:20,484 --> 00:28:22,319
Like the movie.
636
00:28:22,352 --> 00:28:23,654
Yeah, like the movie.
637
00:28:23,687 --> 00:28:26,023
Well, I'm Summer,
like the season.
638
00:28:26,056 --> 00:28:27,391
Hi.
639
00:28:27,424 --> 00:28:29,059
- Nice to meet you.
- Good to meet you, Summer.
640
00:28:29,393 --> 00:28:32,162
You know, Ava, I always thought
you were cute, by the way.
641
00:28:32,196 --> 00:28:33,630
Really? Why is that?
642
00:28:33,664 --> 00:28:35,265
Well, are you a good kisser,
643
00:28:35,299 --> 00:28:36,366
because that would definitely
make you cute in my book.
644
00:28:37,701 --> 00:28:39,703
Are you guys doing anything
after the show or this...
645
00:28:39,736 --> 00:28:41,104
this weekend, or?
646
00:28:41,138 --> 00:28:43,574
Well, um, it's actually
my birthday.
647
00:28:43,607 --> 00:28:47,077
My parents are out of town,
so I'm throwing myself a party.
648
00:28:47,110 --> 00:28:47,678
- You?
- Happy birthday!
649
00:28:47,711 --> 00:28:48,545
Oh, thanks.
650
00:28:48,579 --> 00:28:51,048
Um, I'm not,
I'm not doing anything.
651
00:28:51,081 --> 00:28:51,682
Really?
652
00:28:51,715 --> 00:28:52,784
Nothing in particular, no.
653
00:28:52,817 --> 00:28:54,651
Hmm.
654
00:28:54,685 --> 00:28:56,220
So I was thinking about my
favourite sexual positions today.
655
00:28:56,253 --> 00:28:57,321
That's too much.
656
00:28:58,489 --> 00:28:59,523
Sounds like time well spent.
657
00:28:59,556 --> 00:29:01,759
Well, you know, it's all
situational for me really.
658
00:29:01,793 --> 00:29:03,527
I mean, do I have all the time
in the world
659
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:05,295
or am I trying to get it
after a bad date?
660
00:29:07,064 --> 00:29:08,432
Okay.
661
00:29:08,465 --> 00:29:10,434
If it's a bad date,
why are you trying to get it in?
662
00:29:10,467 --> 00:29:12,369
Uh, 'cause my dick never
has a bad date.
663
00:29:13,470 --> 00:29:15,205
Well, it was nice to meet you.
664
00:29:15,807 --> 00:29:20,744
Yeah, um, Summer, um, do you by
any chance have an extra invite
665
00:29:20,778 --> 00:29:22,713
to your party this weekend?
666
00:29:22,746 --> 00:29:24,214
An invite?
667
00:29:24,248 --> 00:29:25,249
Yeah.
668
00:29:25,282 --> 00:29:30,287
Um, you... you seem cool
and it would be great
669
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,456
to stop by, right?
670
00:29:32,489 --> 00:29:35,125
Yeah, maybe. Unfortunately,
we are at max capacity
671
00:29:35,158 --> 00:29:36,193
for the party.
672
00:29:36,226 --> 00:29:38,428
I could put you
on a waiting list.
673
00:29:38,462 --> 00:29:40,631
Yeah, yeah, o... okay.
Um, yeah, it's...
674
00:29:40,664 --> 00:29:41,665
I'm fucking with you.
675
00:29:42,432 --> 00:29:44,268
I'm sorry.
676
00:29:44,301 --> 00:29:45,402
I have one left.
677
00:29:49,339 --> 00:29:51,508
Uh, I hope to see you
at my party, Ass.
678
00:29:54,111 --> 00:29:55,112
I'm a nice ass.
679
00:30:08,158 --> 00:30:09,326
- I got it!
- You got it.
680
00:30:09,359 --> 00:30:10,394
- I got it!
- Who got it?
681
00:30:10,427 --> 00:30:11,461
- I got it!
- And I got it.
682
00:30:11,495 --> 00:30:12,429
- I got it!
- We got it.
683
00:30:12,462 --> 00:30:13,530
- Who got it?
- We got it.
684
00:30:13,564 --> 00:30:14,799
- We got it.
- Uh-huh!
685
00:30:14,832 --> 00:30:16,533
- Oh, I got the invitation.
- Yeah, that's right.
686
00:30:16,567 --> 00:30:17,634
Huh!
687
00:30:17,668 --> 00:30:18,836
- We got the invitation.
- Invitation!
688
00:30:18,870 --> 00:30:19,804
Nice work my dude.
689
00:30:19,837 --> 00:30:21,338
What's your long-term plan?
690
00:30:21,371 --> 00:30:22,472
Well, that's the Uber guy
right that.
691
00:30:22,506 --> 00:30:23,507
Wait, what do you mean
long-term plan?
692
00:30:23,540 --> 00:30:25,342
Yes, I'm not saying I still have
a lot to learn,
693
00:30:25,375 --> 00:30:26,778
but can I let you in
on a little secret?
694
00:30:26,811 --> 00:30:29,580
No, because you're just gonna
tell me anyway.
695
00:30:29,613 --> 00:30:30,447
Go ahead and tell me.
696
00:30:31,748 --> 00:30:33,383
Hey there, handsome.
697
00:30:33,417 --> 00:30:36,320
Look, Neil, girls want to fuck
just as badly as we do.
698
00:30:37,487 --> 00:30:38,856
And you know this how?
699
00:30:38,890 --> 00:30:41,224
It's actually sexist to think
some shit like that.
700
00:30:41,258 --> 00:30:42,292
Alright, sexism is a real issue.
701
00:30:42,326 --> 00:30:44,294
Okay, I consider myself
to be a proud feminist.
702
00:30:44,328 --> 00:30:45,729
Good God!
703
00:30:45,763 --> 00:30:46,864
Alright, do you-are you
circling the block or some shit?
704
00:30:46,898 --> 00:30:48,565
Are you stalking us?
705
00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:50,500
You got a problem with my five
star Uber driving?
706
00:30:50,534 --> 00:30:52,436
No, I have a problem
with your attitude.
707
00:30:52,469 --> 00:30:53,470
Can I have a private
conversation
708
00:30:53,503 --> 00:30:54,271
with my friend, please?
709
00:30:54,304 --> 00:30:55,840
Yes, by all means.
710
00:30:55,873 --> 00:30:57,274
Go ahead.
711
00:30:57,307 --> 00:30:58,208
So I consider myself to be
a proud feminist.
712
00:30:58,241 --> 00:30:59,576
Yeah, I know, me too.
713
00:30:59,610 --> 00:31:00,477
I love my family.
714
00:31:00,510 --> 00:31:01,645
I... I love women.
715
00:31:01,678 --> 00:31:03,146
I love girls, I respect them.
716
00:31:03,180 --> 00:31:04,849
You know I have a healthy
relationship with my mom
717
00:31:04,882 --> 00:31:07,584
and my psycho sister,
and sometimes I wish that
718
00:31:07,618 --> 00:31:10,654
I was a woman, so I could help
fight feminism from the inside.
719
00:31:10,687 --> 00:31:13,190
Okay, did you know that woman
still make seventy-seven cents
720
00:31:13,223 --> 00:31:13,690
to the man's dollar?
721
00:31:13,724 --> 00:31:14,491
Yes.
722
00:31:14,524 --> 00:31:16,193
Think about that shit.
723
00:31:16,226 --> 00:31:17,795
How would you feel being short
changed by twenty-two cents?
724
00:31:17,829 --> 00:31:19,596
Twenty-three, genius.
725
00:31:19,630 --> 00:31:20,464
See, even worse.
726
00:31:20,497 --> 00:31:22,767
Be the new super cool,
non-sexist dude.
727
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,002
Your wish came true, man.
728
00:31:24,035 --> 00:31:26,403
You finally have a second chance
to step up and take a shot.
729
00:31:26,436 --> 00:31:27,604
You got the invite, baby!
730
00:31:27,638 --> 00:31:28,538
Yeah, I got the invite.
731
00:31:28,572 --> 00:31:30,207
I got... This is all I wanted.
I got it.
732
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:31,508
Oh, my God.
733
00:31:31,541 --> 00:31:32,877
Summer's obviously into you
734
00:31:32,910 --> 00:31:34,344
and you're lacking confidence
right now.
735
00:31:34,378 --> 00:31:35,178
That's fine, that's fine,
736
00:31:35,212 --> 00:31:35,880
'cause it all comes from
practice.
737
00:31:35,913 --> 00:31:37,115
Look it up, Malcolm Gladwell.
738
00:31:37,147 --> 00:31:38,950
You have to bang 10,000 chicks
in order to feel comfortable
739
00:31:38,983 --> 00:31:40,250
having sex with Summer.
740
00:31:40,283 --> 00:31:41,853
Ten...
741
00:31:41,886 --> 00:31:42,686
But we need Viagra, 'cause we're
pressed on time right now.
742
00:31:43,821 --> 00:31:45,355
We need Viagra to bang
10,000 chicks.
743
00:31:45,389 --> 00:31:46,924
- Yes, 10,000 chicks.
- 10,000 chicks.
744
00:31:46,958 --> 00:31:48,826
Do you think LeBron James
or Tom Brady show up
745
00:31:48,860 --> 00:31:50,460
to the championship game
and hope to win?
746
00:31:50,494 --> 00:31:51,461
Or, they fuck people up
all season?
747
00:31:51,495 --> 00:31:53,363
No.
748
00:31:53,397 --> 00:31:54,531
You need to think of Victoria's
party as your season and Summer
749
00:31:54,564 --> 00:31:57,267
as your Super Bowl, and you have
ten hours to fuck up Chad
750
00:31:57,300 --> 00:31:57,935
and win that pussy ring.
751
00:31:57,969 --> 00:31:58,970
Great, got it!
752
00:31:59,003 --> 00:32:00,504
How am I supposed
to fuck up Chad?
753
00:32:00,537 --> 00:32:01,973
I take the school bus.
754
00:32:02,006 --> 00:32:03,206
I've got that covered, man.
755
00:32:16,020 --> 00:32:17,354
Can I help you out
with something?
756
00:32:17,387 --> 00:32:18,288
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
757
00:32:21,926 --> 00:32:23,694
Well, I've got to get to work
soon, so let's hear it.
758
00:32:23,727 --> 00:32:25,763
Oh, wh... what do you do?
759
00:32:25,797 --> 00:32:26,630
I sell Porsches.
760
00:32:26,663 --> 00:32:27,564
You a detective?
761
00:32:28,866 --> 00:32:30,534
Look... look,
I know you're a very busy man.
762
00:32:30,567 --> 00:32:31,903
You know Porsches to sell,
pussies to pop.
763
00:32:31,936 --> 00:32:33,971
I get that, I'm just gonna
cut to the chase.
764
00:32:34,005 --> 00:32:35,840
Alright, my handsome friend
here, he's your new neighbour
765
00:32:35,873 --> 00:32:37,674
and we notice you seem
to have unlimited access
766
00:32:37,708 --> 00:32:38,608
to the sexiest cars.
767
00:32:38,642 --> 00:32:40,410
And we really need
one for one wicked night
768
00:32:40,444 --> 00:32:42,412
of partying we got set up
for tonight.
769
00:32:42,446 --> 00:32:45,917
And you know what they say,
sexy wheels, sexy heels.
770
00:32:45,950 --> 00:32:47,417
"Sexy wheels, sexy heels."
771
00:32:47,451 --> 00:32:49,252
Uh, you funny, man.
772
00:32:49,286 --> 00:32:50,822
So I guess you're the one
with the pretty face that
773
00:32:50,855 --> 00:32:53,256
keeps the girls coming and then,
uh, you keep 'em around
774
00:32:53,290 --> 00:32:54,357
with the funny one liners, huh?
775
00:32:54,391 --> 00:32:55,827
- That's the idea.
- Yeah.
776
00:32:55,860 --> 00:32:56,761
Yeah, yeah, you know, when
you're handsome as hell like us,
777
00:32:56,794 --> 00:32:58,830
you don't need corny jokes.
778
00:32:58,863 --> 00:33:00,497
Alright, Jimbo?
779
00:33:00,530 --> 00:33:01,431
Jimmy.
780
00:33:02,733 --> 00:33:03,801
Time is money and money
is sweet like honey,
781
00:33:03,835 --> 00:33:05,702
so let's talk some rides, guys.
782
00:33:05,736 --> 00:33:08,405
Now, I can take you boys
to the dealership.
783
00:33:08,438 --> 00:33:10,640
We're gonna do everything
on the up where I gotta run
784
00:33:10,674 --> 00:33:12,877
your credit check,
make sure you're over 25,
785
00:33:12,910 --> 00:33:15,345
see what's available on the lot,
yada-yada-yada.
786
00:33:15,378 --> 00:33:18,281
Or, if this little baby's
giving you bedroom eyes,
787
00:33:18,315 --> 00:33:19,750
we can settle everything
right here, right now,
788
00:33:19,784 --> 00:33:20,317
off the books.
789
00:33:20,350 --> 00:33:21,618
No, this car is perfect.
790
00:33:21,651 --> 00:33:24,889
She purrs, and she bites,
791
00:33:24,922 --> 00:33:26,791
but you know what she does best?
792
00:33:26,824 --> 00:33:28,525
She makes them panties drop.
793
00:33:28,558 --> 00:33:29,526
We on the same exact page, man.
794
00:33:29,559 --> 00:33:30,995
I get exactly
what you're saying, my friend.
795
00:33:31,028 --> 00:33:31,829
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
796
00:33:31,863 --> 00:33:33,330
We are reading
the same page here,
797
00:33:33,363 --> 00:33:34,431
like it's our homework
assignment
798
00:33:34,464 --> 00:33:36,901
and it's due tomorrow,
and we're gonna turn it in,
799
00:33:36,934 --> 00:33:38,870
send it off.
800
00:33:40,570 --> 00:33:41,371
Stop.
801
00:33:45,575 --> 00:33:47,477
She's got 430 horsepower,
802
00:33:47,511 --> 00:33:49,781
or as I like to call it,
horsecockpower.
803
00:33:49,814 --> 00:33:51,548
You know what makes the ladies
really excited?
804
00:33:51,581 --> 00:33:52,850
What, respect and equal pay?
805
00:33:52,884 --> 00:33:54,018
Fuck, no!
806
00:33:54,051 --> 00:33:56,620
Press this button right here,
takes you to sports mode.
807
00:33:56,653 --> 00:33:58,756
It's like two beautiful
legs opening right up,
808
00:33:58,790 --> 00:34:01,591
clearing you for expedited
first class entry.
809
00:34:01,625 --> 00:34:02,760
Please remember to fasten
your seat belts
810
00:34:02,794 --> 00:34:04,561
before take off, gentlemen.
811
00:34:04,594 --> 00:34:06,030
- Oh, fuck, yeah!
- No, no, no, no, no.
812
00:34:06,063 --> 00:34:07,430
Can we just slow down
a little bit?
813
00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:08,398
Let's not, uh, uh, uh...
814
00:34:08,431 --> 00:34:09,066
Hey, check the torque on her.
815
00:34:17,008 --> 00:34:19,110
This was fucking crazy.
816
00:34:19,143 --> 00:34:20,677
Yeah. Hangin', bro?
817
00:34:20,710 --> 00:34:22,379
- Yep.
- Where'd your friend go?
818
00:34:22,412 --> 00:34:23,446
Shit!
819
00:34:25,515 --> 00:34:26,650
Ace, you alright, man?
820
00:34:26,683 --> 00:34:27,785
I think so.
821
00:34:27,819 --> 00:34:28,953
Well, then come on, man,
822
00:34:28,986 --> 00:34:30,922
'cause time is money and money
is sweet like honey,
823
00:34:30,955 --> 00:34:32,857
so hop on over here,
'cause it's not funny.
824
00:34:32,890 --> 00:34:33,825
Really sorry about this.
825
00:34:34,691 --> 00:34:37,561
So, how much you got?
826
00:34:37,594 --> 00:34:38,830
How much what?
827
00:34:38,863 --> 00:34:40,530
What? Money?
828
00:34:40,564 --> 00:34:41,665
Yeah, cash.
829
00:34:41,698 --> 00:34:42,967
Yeah, on your person.
830
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:46,003
$50 only, but I seem to have
misplaced my wallet.
831
00:34:46,037 --> 00:34:47,972
I just can't find it
at the moment.
832
00:34:48,005 --> 00:34:51,776
Oh-oh, you, sir, are no liar.
833
00:34:53,044 --> 00:34:53,878
How did you do that?
834
00:34:54,946 --> 00:34:56,546
So I'm gonna level
with you guys.
835
00:34:56,580 --> 00:34:59,716
Believe it or not,
I wasn't always this cool.
836
00:34:59,749 --> 00:35:01,618
Do you think I would have
as many women as I do
837
00:35:01,651 --> 00:35:03,653
if I didn't have access
to all the Porsches?
838
00:35:03,687 --> 00:35:04,989
Yes.
839
00:35:05,022 --> 00:35:06,523
Exactly right,
because I've worked hard at it.
840
00:35:06,556 --> 00:35:09,026
I've trained,
I've put in the time.
841
00:35:09,060 --> 00:35:11,461
You see, practice not
only makes perfect,
842
00:35:11,494 --> 00:35:12,797
it makes panties drop.
843
00:35:12,830 --> 00:35:14,765
It's like you're in my brain,
man.
844
00:35:14,799 --> 00:35:16,767
Does everything
make panties drop?
845
00:35:16,801 --> 00:35:17,601
How about you, cheekbones?
846
00:35:17,634 --> 00:35:19,402
What you got?
847
00:35:19,436 --> 00:35:21,671
I don't think I... I don't
think I have any ca...
848
00:35:21,705 --> 00:35:23,473
Ah, maybe $20?
849
00:35:23,506 --> 00:35:25,176
Am I standing on a street corner
wearing a tight black dress
850
00:35:25,209 --> 00:35:26,844
and some red bottoms?
851
00:35:26,878 --> 00:35:27,945
N... no.
852
00:35:27,979 --> 00:35:31,715
Then stop trying to fuck me.
853
00:35:31,748 --> 00:35:33,150
Do you guys have, like,
a car you can loan me
854
00:35:33,184 --> 00:35:34,517
as collateral?
855
00:35:34,551 --> 00:35:35,685
Oh, no,
that would be a negative.
856
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:38,756
Then get the fuck out of here!
857
00:35:38,789 --> 00:35:40,858
If you see me in the street,
don't look at me.
858
00:35:40,892 --> 00:35:43,928
Just look down starting now.
859
00:35:43,961 --> 00:35:45,495
Get out!
860
00:35:45,528 --> 00:35:46,663
Wait.
861
00:35:50,667 --> 00:35:51,903
What's this party about?
862
00:35:51,936 --> 00:35:53,170
Can... can we look up now?
863
00:35:53,204 --> 00:35:54,805
Yeah, yeah, you can look up.
864
00:35:54,839 --> 00:35:56,673
Um, it's this lady Victoria.
865
00:35:56,706 --> 00:35:58,776
Man, I mean, she's having
a party at Fuckingham Palace.
866
00:35:58,809 --> 00:35:59,810
It's supposed to be crazy, man.
867
00:35:59,844 --> 00:36:02,079
A thousand dollars per person.
868
00:36:02,113 --> 00:36:03,180
A thousand dollars ain't cheap.
869
00:36:03,214 --> 00:36:04,048
We're getting in for free.
870
00:36:04,081 --> 00:36:05,515
You know, VIP, you know.
871
00:36:05,548 --> 00:36:06,583
'Cause of me.
872
00:36:08,052 --> 00:36:09,686
Hmm.
873
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:11,122
Right.
874
00:36:11,923 --> 00:36:13,090
Fuck it.
875
00:36:13,124 --> 00:36:14,926
Alright, my depressingly
poor amigos.
876
00:36:15,525 --> 00:36:16,994
For a mere $70 bucks,
877
00:36:17,028 --> 00:36:19,163
you guys just got
my Seven-Eighteen Boxster GTS
878
00:36:19,196 --> 00:36:19,897
for the night.
879
00:36:20,798 --> 00:36:22,099
- Let's go!
- Sweet!
880
00:36:22,133 --> 00:36:26,070
On one condition, I'm going to
the party with you,
881
00:36:26,103 --> 00:36:28,072
just to, you know, make sure
she's okay and stuff.
882
00:36:28,105 --> 00:36:29,907
Who's she?
883
00:36:29,941 --> 00:36:31,474
The Porsche, moron.
884
00:36:32,810 --> 00:36:34,045
Alright, so here's the plan.
885
00:36:34,078 --> 00:36:35,880
At 7:00 pm tonight,
you're gonna meet me
886
00:36:35,913 --> 00:36:38,049
at Food Mart around
the corner, okay?
887
00:36:38,082 --> 00:36:40,084
You're gonna go inside,
gonna get an extra large
888
00:36:40,117 --> 00:36:42,053
black cherry Slurpee.
889
00:36:42,086 --> 00:36:43,687
I'll be waiting for you
right there with the car.
890
00:36:45,222 --> 00:36:46,857
These Viagras better work, man.
891
00:36:46,891 --> 00:36:49,559
You know old guys
take Viagra to have sex
892
00:36:49,592 --> 00:36:51,728
like guys our age, right?
893
00:36:51,762 --> 00:36:53,697
The only pill I need right now
is Advil because my head
894
00:36:53,730 --> 00:36:55,099
is killing me.
895
00:36:55,132 --> 00:36:56,934
Look, the more you think
about it, the more it hurts.
896
00:36:56,968 --> 00:36:58,069
Alright,
you feel what you attract.
897
00:36:58,102 --> 00:36:59,636
Perception is everything.
898
00:36:59,669 --> 00:37:00,704
I'm not attracting a headache.
899
00:37:00,737 --> 00:37:02,039
I hit the shit out of my head.
900
00:37:02,073 --> 00:37:03,908
- Do you want me to rub it?
- Yeah.
901
00:37:03,941 --> 00:37:05,876
Let's get these dick pills,
alright?
902
00:37:05,910 --> 00:37:07,211
How did you meet this guy again?
903
00:37:07,244 --> 00:37:08,745
On Fortnite.
904
00:37:08,779 --> 00:37:10,214
He's like the Dan Bilzerian
of the school, man.
905
00:37:11,949 --> 00:37:13,150
Enter, it's open.
906
00:37:16,787 --> 00:37:19,156
Is that G-money
I hear behind me?
907
00:37:19,190 --> 00:37:22,193
Is that J-sizzle I see about to
snipe some poor biatches?
908
00:37:22,226 --> 00:37:23,526
Gilbert?
909
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:24,627
Come here, man.
910
00:37:24,661 --> 00:37:26,163
Let this big bear
get his paws on ya.
911
00:37:28,265 --> 00:37:30,234
You look different
than I imagined.
912
00:37:30,267 --> 00:37:31,302
Uh, yeah.
913
00:37:31,335 --> 00:37:32,770
Nah, man, you too.
914
00:37:32,803 --> 00:37:34,571
You... you look healthy.
915
00:37:34,604 --> 00:37:35,139
Thanks man.
916
00:37:35,172 --> 00:37:36,073
I bought an Apple watch.
917
00:37:36,107 --> 00:37:38,109
Helps me to keep track of
my steps, so.
918
00:37:38,142 --> 00:37:39,810
It's still in the box.
919
00:37:39,844 --> 00:37:40,778
It's pretty cool.
920
00:37:40,811 --> 00:37:43,180
Hey, this is Vanessa,
the love of my life.
921
00:37:46,050 --> 00:37:46,649
Oh, they don't mind.
922
00:37:46,683 --> 00:37:48,285
Who is thi handsome devil?
923
00:37:48,319 --> 00:37:50,154
What, are you friends with an
actual walking sex stick?
924
00:37:50,187 --> 00:37:51,055
Thanks.
925
00:37:53,656 --> 00:37:54,058
It's good to...
926
00:37:54,959 --> 00:37:55,993
Thanks for having us.
927
00:37:56,894 --> 00:37:58,829
You are a gentleman
and a scholar, sir.
928
00:37:58,863 --> 00:37:59,930
You're a prince in an alley,
Gilbert.
929
00:37:59,964 --> 00:38:02,233
Guys, come on in,
have a seat.
930
00:38:02,266 --> 00:38:04,201
So, to what do I owe this
gracious visit
931
00:38:04,235 --> 00:38:05,936
from my favourite Fortnite
compatriot?
932
00:38:05,970 --> 00:38:07,637
Hey, man, like I said,
my Viagra girl,
933
00:38:07,670 --> 00:38:08,873
she went MIA on me, man.
934
00:38:08,906 --> 00:38:09,407
What's her name?
935
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:10,007
I probably know her.
936
00:38:10,041 --> 00:38:12,243
Uh, it's, uh... Victoria?
937
00:38:12,276 --> 00:38:14,245
- Victoria V.
- Dope shit!
938
00:38:14,278 --> 00:38:15,413
You know she supplies my guy.
939
00:38:15,446 --> 00:38:19,216
She throws like the craziest,
most legendary parties.
940
00:38:19,250 --> 00:38:21,919
Hey, man, let me ask you
something.
941
00:38:21,952 --> 00:38:24,654
What's it like to go through
life knowing everyone
942
00:38:24,687 --> 00:38:25,722
wants to fuck you?
943
00:38:27,858 --> 00:38:30,627
I... I wouldn't say it's, uh,
everyone.
944
00:38:30,660 --> 00:38:32,163
Pretty sure it is everyone.
945
00:38:32,196 --> 00:38:34,098
Not everyone comes up to me
and says they want to fuck me.
946
00:38:34,131 --> 00:38:35,833
I bet if I did a straw poll
in this house,
947
00:38:35,866 --> 00:38:36,934
it would be everyone.
948
00:38:38,803 --> 00:38:39,870
Um...
949
00:38:39,904 --> 00:38:41,338
So I keep the drugs
in the bedroom.
950
00:38:41,372 --> 00:38:44,075
Why don't we continue this
negotiation in there, alright?
951
00:38:44,108 --> 00:38:45,843
Shall we? Let's do it.
952
00:38:46,410 --> 00:38:48,645
Gentlemen, milady.
953
00:38:55,718 --> 00:38:56,921
So, the pills are right there.
954
00:38:56,954 --> 00:38:59,190
You guys could just grab a vile
and you should be all set.
955
00:38:59,223 --> 00:39:00,690
Thank you so much, J.
956
00:39:00,723 --> 00:39:01,892
How much do we owe you for this?
957
00:39:01,926 --> 00:39:02,793
Aw, your money's no good here.
958
00:39:02,827 --> 00:39:04,228
It's on the house.
959
00:39:04,261 --> 00:39:06,097
We were wondering, though,
if maybe we could ask you guys
960
00:39:06,130 --> 00:39:07,664
for a favour in return?
961
00:39:07,697 --> 00:39:08,631
Yo, anything, man.
962
00:39:08,665 --> 00:39:09,632
Just ask.
963
00:39:09,666 --> 00:39:11,268
- Not anything.
- Shut up.
964
00:39:11,302 --> 00:39:13,871
We think you guys
are really cute.
965
00:39:13,904 --> 00:39:15,705
Do you guys think that
we're cute?
966
00:39:21,779 --> 00:39:23,814
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
967
00:39:23,848 --> 00:39:24,614
How... how do you...
968
00:39:24,647 --> 00:39:25,850
If you don't mean it,
it's okay.
969
00:39:25,883 --> 00:39:26,784
You guys are cute as fuck.
970
00:39:26,817 --> 00:39:28,853
- Really?
- Yeah.
971
00:39:28,886 --> 00:39:30,187
- Are you sure?
- No...
972
00:39:30,221 --> 00:39:31,322
You sure you're not just
saying that?
973
00:39:31,355 --> 00:39:33,057
No, no. I-I mean, um,
'cause with...
974
00:39:33,723 --> 00:39:34,959
Ace?
975
00:39:34,992 --> 00:39:36,393
Yeah, yeah.
976
00:39:36,427 --> 00:39:38,062
No, you guys are super cute.
977
00:39:38,095 --> 00:39:41,065
You guys, uh, you've... you've
good chemistry and... and...
978
00:39:41,098 --> 00:39:42,967
and you guys, you know,
you feed off of each other.
979
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,734
You're comfortable
in your own skin together,
980
00:39:44,768 --> 00:39:45,903
so that's...
that's always a plus.
981
00:39:45,936 --> 00:39:47,670
- That's awesome.
- Hmm.
982
00:39:47,704 --> 00:39:49,273
So Vanessa and I
are gonna make love now
983
00:39:49,306 --> 00:39:51,375
and we'd love for you guys
to just be around.
984
00:39:51,408 --> 00:39:54,979
You know, feel free to hop in
or do whatever's comfortable.
985
00:39:55,012 --> 00:39:57,114
You know, have a seat,
take a load off.
986
00:39:57,848 --> 00:40:01,085
Yeah, positive vibes only, okay?
987
00:40:02,286 --> 00:40:02,987
- Um...
- Um...
988
00:40:03,020 --> 00:40:03,787
Great!
989
00:40:03,821 --> 00:40:05,389
Alexa, play my sex jams.
990
00:40:05,422 --> 00:40:07,191
Playing sex jams.
991
00:40:16,867 --> 00:40:18,402
What the fuck
is happening right now?
992
00:40:20,304 --> 00:40:22,206
This is college.
993
00:40:29,914 --> 00:40:31,115
Hey!
994
00:40:31,148 --> 00:40:32,715
Give me your hand.
995
00:40:33,417 --> 00:40:34,351
Come on.
996
00:40:34,385 --> 00:40:36,187
Press your palm against my palm.
997
00:40:36,220 --> 00:40:37,221
Timothée Chalamet.
998
00:40:37,254 --> 00:40:38,389
Come on.
999
00:40:41,058 --> 00:40:42,026
You've been summoned.
1000
00:40:55,906 --> 00:40:57,241
Yes, that's great.
1001
00:40:58,542 --> 00:40:59,944
Family style, over here.
1002
00:40:59,977 --> 00:41:01,312
Let's cross fingers.
1003
00:41:01,345 --> 00:41:03,080
Let's cross fingers,
family style.
1004
00:41:04,348 --> 00:41:06,817
Bro, you've been summoned,
join us.
1005
00:41:09,820 --> 00:41:10,788
Come on.
1006
00:41:27,238 --> 00:41:28,239
Mm.
1007
00:41:37,881 --> 00:41:39,883
That should do it.
1008
00:41:39,917 --> 00:41:42,186
Thanks so much, boys
for stopping by.
1009
00:41:42,219 --> 00:41:44,088
That's what we call
a win-win, you know.
1010
00:41:47,891 --> 00:41:49,293
We take this to our graves.
1011
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:51,195
Take what?
1012
00:41:51,996 --> 00:41:53,030
Exactly.
1013
00:41:56,267 --> 00:41:57,401
I just don't
know about this guy.
1014
00:41:57,434 --> 00:41:58,569
What if he doesn't show?
1015
00:41:58,602 --> 00:42:00,537
Neil, he's your neighbour,
alright?
1016
00:42:00,571 --> 00:42:01,372
He's, at the very least,
1017
00:42:01,405 --> 00:42:03,274
a very financially stable
homeowner,
1018
00:42:03,307 --> 00:42:04,875
not just some random dude
we met playing video games
1019
00:42:04,908 --> 00:42:06,043
with alright?
1020
00:42:06,076 --> 00:42:08,879
Plus he's normal,
he's cool, he's handsome,
1021
00:42:08,912 --> 00:42:11,048
and you shouldn't be questioning
shit with a $20 investment.
1022
00:42:15,419 --> 00:42:18,489
The cashier seems to have taken
a real liking to us.
1023
00:42:18,522 --> 00:42:19,857
He's probably wondering
what a healthy stud like you
1024
00:42:19,890 --> 00:42:21,292
is even doing here.
1025
00:42:21,325 --> 00:42:22,393
None of this shit is organic.
1026
00:42:26,297 --> 00:42:27,097
Nice.
1027
00:42:27,131 --> 00:42:27,931
Come on, let's go.
1028
00:42:31,335 --> 00:42:32,202
How you doing?
1029
00:42:32,236 --> 00:42:33,370
Get this real quick?
1030
00:42:36,974 --> 00:42:38,609
Time to separate
the men from the boys.
1031
00:42:48,152 --> 00:42:49,320
Okay.
1032
00:42:52,356 --> 00:42:54,425
Alright,
it's go time, boys.
1033
00:42:54,458 --> 00:42:56,860
Let's do this.
1034
00:42:56,894 --> 00:42:58,962
Give me all the money out
of your register now.
1035
00:42:58,996 --> 00:43:01,532
Give me all the money
out of the register!
1036
00:43:01,565 --> 00:43:04,001
- Now, motherfucker!
- Fuck!
1037
00:43:04,034 --> 00:43:05,235
You made me sound like
Samuel Jackson.
1038
00:43:05,269 --> 00:43:06,103
- Jimmy? Jimmy?
- What, chubby?
1039
00:43:06,136 --> 00:43:07,571
What am I supposed to do
with the bags?
1040
00:43:07,604 --> 00:43:09,306
Just hold on to it for a second,
goddamn, man.
1041
00:43:09,340 --> 00:43:10,441
Your move, Apu.
1042
00:43:10,474 --> 00:43:11,375
That's... that's racist.
1043
00:43:11,408 --> 00:43:13,344
That ain't racist,
that's his name, man.
1044
00:43:13,377 --> 00:43:14,978
His mama named him that.
1045
00:43:15,012 --> 00:43:16,113
Look at all this.
1046
00:43:16,146 --> 00:43:17,114
Rob the motherfucker.
1047
00:43:17,147 --> 00:43:19,249
You know them gas prices
is high as hell, man.
1048
00:43:19,283 --> 00:43:19,983
Alright, start the car.
1049
00:43:20,017 --> 00:43:21,118
Let's go!
1050
00:43:21,151 --> 00:43:22,486
The Skittles, nigg...
1051
00:43:22,519 --> 00:43:23,354
Man, come here.
1052
00:43:23,387 --> 00:43:25,022
- Why is this bag so big?
- Shut up, man!
1053
00:43:25,055 --> 00:43:26,357
'Sup with all
these questions?
1054
00:43:26,390 --> 00:43:27,191
Alright, go.
1055
00:43:27,224 --> 00:43:28,892
Get outta here.
1056
00:43:28,926 --> 00:43:29,626
Wait, wait, wait,
there's more money.
1057
00:43:29,660 --> 00:43:30,160
There's more money.
1058
00:43:30,194 --> 00:43:30,961
There's more money.
1059
00:43:30,994 --> 00:43:32,129
Come help,
we're a bout to be rich.
1060
00:43:32,162 --> 00:43:32,563
Oh, shit!
1061
00:43:36,633 --> 00:43:37,301
What the fuck?
1062
00:43:37,334 --> 00:43:38,369
Who pokes eyes?
1063
00:43:38,402 --> 00:43:40,137
Go, go, go, go,
go, go!
1064
00:43:40,170 --> 00:43:41,472
What the fuck!?
1065
00:43:41,505 --> 00:43:42,306
I don't want my fingerprints
on this shit either.
1066
00:43:42,339 --> 00:43:43,240
Press the gas!
1067
00:43:43,273 --> 00:43:44,108
Fine!
1068
00:43:47,945 --> 00:43:49,113
What the hell
is wrong with you, man?
1069
00:43:49,146 --> 00:43:50,414
You never drive before?
1070
00:43:50,447 --> 00:43:51,482
I just got my permit, man!
1071
00:43:59,456 --> 00:44:00,257
Oh, fuck!
1072
00:44:00,290 --> 00:44:01,692
Oh...
1073
00:44:01,725 --> 00:44:02,593
Wait!
1074
00:44:02,626 --> 00:44:03,494
Gilbert!
1075
00:44:03,527 --> 00:44:04,495
Wait, Gilbert!
1076
00:44:04,528 --> 00:44:05,262
What the fuck you doing?
1077
00:44:05,295 --> 00:44:07,398
- I can't leave Neil, man.
- Why?
1078
00:44:07,431 --> 00:44:08,565
He's my best
friend and I love him.
1079
00:44:08,599 --> 00:44:09,400
Oh, my...
1080
00:44:09,433 --> 00:44:11,535
- I love him, man.
- Stop saying that.
1081
00:44:11,568 --> 00:44:12,936
We're not stopping.
1082
00:44:12,970 --> 00:44:15,372
Wait, guys...
No, no, no, no, no, no!
1083
00:44:15,406 --> 00:44:16,540
Pop the trunk!
1084
00:44:16,573 --> 00:44:17,141
Pop the trunk.
1085
00:44:17,174 --> 00:44:18,308
Well, how do I do that?
1086
00:44:18,342 --> 00:44:19,209
Pop the trunk!
1087
00:44:19,243 --> 00:44:20,144
Wait!
1088
00:44:20,177 --> 00:44:21,044
Wait!
1089
00:44:24,014 --> 00:44:25,082
I'll kill you, motherfuckers!
1090
00:44:29,319 --> 00:44:30,020
Whoo!
1091
00:44:30,053 --> 00:44:31,021
What a rush!
1092
00:44:34,425 --> 00:44:36,293
Looks like we have another
one gone wild.
1093
00:44:36,326 --> 00:44:37,661
Go figure.
1094
00:44:37,694 --> 00:44:38,996
It must be all the fresh pizza
and chicken wings.
1095
00:44:41,465 --> 00:44:43,367
Drop your weapon and get down on
the ground, sir!
1096
00:44:43,734 --> 00:44:45,502
- Do it now!
- No, no, no, no.
1097
00:44:45,536 --> 00:44:46,370
They robbed me.
1098
00:44:46,403 --> 00:44:47,538
You should be chasing
that Porsche.
1099
00:44:47,571 --> 00:44:49,640
Yeah, I'm sure guys in Porsches
rob shitty Food Marts
1100
00:44:49,673 --> 00:44:50,274
all the time.
1101
00:44:50,307 --> 00:44:51,508
It makes perfect sense.
1102
00:44:51,542 --> 00:44:53,444
Get down on the ground,
shitbag!
1103
00:44:53,477 --> 00:44:55,212
Do it, now!
1104
00:44:56,046 --> 00:44:58,382
I'm still failing to understand
what the problem is here.
1105
00:44:59,183 --> 00:45:01,385
Okay, for starters, how about
the fact that you didn't tell us
1106
00:45:01,418 --> 00:45:03,153
we were going to be robbing
a fucking Food Mart.
1107
00:45:03,187 --> 00:45:04,488
Okay, first of all,
1108
00:45:04,521 --> 00:45:07,024
Food Marts get robbed
all the damn time, alright?
1109
00:45:07,057 --> 00:45:08,625
That's the price of selling
cheap shit,
1110
00:45:08,659 --> 00:45:09,626
and being on every block.
1111
00:45:09,660 --> 00:45:11,395
Secondly, I didn't plan this.
1112
00:45:11,428 --> 00:45:14,031
It's just, like, you know,
it's a spontaneous thing.
1113
00:45:14,064 --> 00:45:15,098
I'm a spontaneous dude.
1114
00:45:15,132 --> 00:45:15,966
I knew y'all was broke,
1115
00:45:15,999 --> 00:45:17,568
so I went in
and got y'all some money.
1116
00:45:17,601 --> 00:45:18,535
What's wrong with that?
1117
00:45:18,569 --> 00:45:20,370
So you just happened to carry
a mask and...
1118
00:45:20,404 --> 00:45:21,605
and a gun on you?
1119
00:45:21,638 --> 00:45:23,073
See this gun, fake!
1120
00:45:23,106 --> 00:45:23,740
Man, what are you doing?
1121
00:45:23,775 --> 00:45:25,309
Okay.
1122
00:45:25,342 --> 00:45:27,444
And I wear the mask sometimes
'cause, you know,
1123
00:45:27,478 --> 00:45:28,312
chicks like it.
1124
00:45:28,345 --> 00:45:29,446
I'm a freak.
1125
00:45:32,349 --> 00:45:34,418
You realize the cops are gonna
be looking for us, right?
1126
00:45:34,451 --> 00:45:35,552
'Cause our faces
are on that camera,
1127
00:45:35,586 --> 00:45:37,454
not Mister Ski Mask over here.
1128
00:45:37,488 --> 00:45:39,590
Okay, you shouldn't be concerned
with any of that shit.
1129
00:45:39,623 --> 00:45:40,758
I should be.
1130
00:45:40,792 --> 00:45:41,759
Alright, you're good.
1131
00:45:43,527 --> 00:45:45,162
You're fine with this?
1132
00:45:45,195 --> 00:45:46,330
You're fine with the scenario
the way that all this shit
1133
00:45:46,363 --> 00:45:47,431
went down?
1134
00:45:47,464 --> 00:45:49,633
Neil, I wasn't gonna
leave you, man.
1135
00:45:49,666 --> 00:45:51,769
I came back for you,
ma... Jimmy, tell him.
1136
00:45:51,803 --> 00:45:53,237
Yeah, I wanted to leave you.
1137
00:45:53,270 --> 00:45:54,671
I thought you was dead weight.
1138
00:45:54,705 --> 00:45:56,240
But he love you,
so I was like, alright.
1139
00:45:56,273 --> 00:45:57,708
- I love you, man.
- Don't do that.
1140
00:45:57,741 --> 00:45:59,176
- I love you, man.
- You don't love me.
1141
00:45:59,209 --> 00:46:00,310
- Yes, I do.
- You don't love me.
1142
00:46:00,344 --> 00:46:01,578
- Don't...
- Neil, I fuckin' love you, man!
1143
00:46:01,612 --> 00:46:03,213
Don't abuse that word, man.
1144
00:46:03,247 --> 00:46:04,314
Look, is this "The Notebook"?
1145
00:46:04,348 --> 00:46:06,116
Well, y... you wanted
the Porsche.
1146
00:46:06,149 --> 00:46:07,618
You wanted the Porsche,
so we got you the Porsche.
1147
00:46:07,651 --> 00:46:09,353
- I don't care about...
- You wanted to be like Chad.
1148
00:46:09,386 --> 00:46:10,587
- So I got you a Porsche.
- Porsche, baby.
1149
00:46:10,621 --> 00:46:11,421
It's a clean ass Porsche.
1150
00:46:11,455 --> 00:46:12,757
No, I don't care about
the Porsche.
1151
00:46:12,790 --> 00:46:13,457
Who doesn't want a Porsche?
1152
00:46:13,490 --> 00:46:14,191
I never cared about the Porsche.
1153
00:46:14,224 --> 00:46:15,092
No one cares about the Porsche.
1154
00:46:15,125 --> 00:46:16,794
You saying you don't want
this Porsche?
1155
00:46:16,828 --> 00:46:18,562
I want a Porsche.
1156
00:46:18,595 --> 00:46:21,265
In order to have intercourse,
you've got to have a Porsche.
1157
00:46:21,298 --> 00:46:22,599
I didn't want the dick pills.
1158
00:46:22,633 --> 00:46:24,167
And I definitely
don't want to go to jail
1159
00:46:24,201 --> 00:46:25,536
for robbing fucking Food Marts.
1160
00:46:26,670 --> 00:46:29,506
All I wanted was a pineapple
invitation
1161
00:46:29,540 --> 00:46:30,707
and to go to Summer's party.
1162
00:46:30,741 --> 00:46:32,209
Alright, we all got that.
1163
00:46:32,242 --> 00:46:34,244
So me, you and Jimmy,
we can all roll right now
1164
00:46:34,278 --> 00:46:35,746
in the Porsche.
1165
00:46:35,780 --> 00:46:40,317
I... I even held your weird
friend's hand while he orgasmed.
1166
00:46:40,350 --> 00:46:41,385
Hold his hand
when he was whatin'?
1167
00:46:41,418 --> 00:46:43,654
Hey, man, will you...
1168
00:46:43,687 --> 00:46:45,255
I was in there with you.
1169
00:46:45,289 --> 00:46:46,657
Neil, you don't got to say
that shit around him.
1170
00:46:47,892 --> 00:46:50,694
I never would have puked on
Summer if it weren't for you.
1171
00:46:50,727 --> 00:46:52,296
I was just trying to help you.
1172
00:46:54,832 --> 00:46:57,134
Alright, this happens
at my dealership all the time.
1173
00:46:57,167 --> 00:46:59,736
It's called a breakdown of
communication.
1174
00:46:59,771 --> 00:47:02,673
That's what's happening right
now with you guys, okay?
1175
00:47:02,706 --> 00:47:05,810
A great way to solve it is just
by being nice to each other.
1176
00:47:05,843 --> 00:47:07,277
Make up, okay?
1177
00:47:07,946 --> 00:47:09,379
I'm... I'm good.
I'm done.
1178
00:47:15,485 --> 00:47:16,653
Do you want me to shoot him?
1179
00:47:21,893 --> 00:47:23,761
Looks like you're my VIP
customer of the night.
1180
00:47:25,897 --> 00:47:27,497
Where's your
friend, the crazy one?
1181
00:47:31,769 --> 00:47:33,136
Fuck him.
1182
00:47:36,506 --> 00:47:39,242
Y'all pretty tight, huh?
1183
00:47:39,276 --> 00:47:41,913
Yeah, that's my best friend.
1184
00:47:41,946 --> 00:47:44,849
Or was... I guess.
1185
00:47:44,882 --> 00:47:47,651
Man, real best friends fight and
make up all the time, man.
1186
00:47:47,684 --> 00:47:50,554
Y'all'll be back, trust that.
1187
00:47:51,555 --> 00:47:52,389
Yeah.
1188
00:47:54,324 --> 00:47:55,726
Want to loosen up a little bit
before we, uh,
1189
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:57,160
hit this party, though?
1190
00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:11,642
Born ready, man.
1191
00:48:20,250 --> 00:48:21,551
Hey, how's the party?
What's going on?
1192
00:48:21,585 --> 00:48:22,352
Mm.
1193
00:48:22,386 --> 00:48:24,221
Hey, you wanna dance?
1194
00:48:24,254 --> 00:48:27,391
It's alright,
not too crowded yet.
1195
00:48:27,424 --> 00:48:28,392
Is Chad there?
1196
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:31,728
Oh, I said no gifts!
1197
00:48:31,763 --> 00:48:32,964
Yes.
1198
00:48:32,997 --> 00:48:35,198
And I would advise
bringing her a gift.
1199
00:48:35,232 --> 00:48:37,534
Chad is bringing his A game.
1200
00:48:37,567 --> 00:48:39,403
Of course he is.
1201
00:48:39,436 --> 00:48:40,203
What do I get her?
1202
00:48:40,237 --> 00:48:41,873
Something simple, cute.
1203
00:48:41,906 --> 00:48:43,306
Bring her a pocket dildo.
1204
00:48:43,340 --> 00:48:45,509
N... I'm not gonna get
her a dildo, Jaclyn.
1205
00:48:45,542 --> 00:48:46,376
Okay, bye.
1206
00:48:46,410 --> 00:48:47,511
I gotta go.
1207
00:48:54,518 --> 00:48:55,585
Hey, I'm gonna grab something
from the store.
1208
00:48:55,619 --> 00:48:56,821
I'll be right back.
1209
00:48:56,854 --> 00:48:58,823
Cool, I'll be out here having
fun pumping gas.
1210
00:49:00,490 --> 00:49:01,959
- Hey.
- Hey.
1211
00:49:16,974 --> 00:49:19,242
Can I get thirty on seven
and a pack of menthols, please?
1212
00:49:20,343 --> 00:49:21,045
How you doing?
1213
00:49:21,079 --> 00:49:22,814
Good, you?
1214
00:49:22,847 --> 00:49:24,548
Shitty,
we had a Food Mart hit down the street.
1215
00:49:24,581 --> 00:49:25,917
You guys got any suspects?
1216
00:49:25,950 --> 00:49:27,051
We've got video footage.
1217
00:49:27,085 --> 00:49:30,287
Some handsome motherfucker,
his fat friend, and here.
1218
00:49:31,321 --> 00:49:32,689
Guy, that's my dog.
1219
00:49:32,723 --> 00:49:33,557
We've got video footage.
That's Tommy Lee Jones, yeah.
1220
00:49:33,590 --> 00:49:34,759
He's cute. A little excited,
ain't he?
1221
00:49:34,792 --> 00:49:36,326
Yeah,
that's him and I in Ramerwood.
1222
00:49:36,359 --> 00:49:37,161
It's a Chinese restaurant.
1223
00:49:37,195 --> 00:49:38,996
- What are you doing?
- Don't worry.
1224
00:49:39,030 --> 00:49:40,330
I'm not gonna hurt you.
1225
00:49:40,363 --> 00:49:41,298
Oh, my God, no, no, no!
1226
00:49:41,331 --> 00:49:42,299
Don't do it, don't do it!
1227
00:49:42,332 --> 00:49:43,567
What? Why?
1228
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:44,902
I'm already committed here
if you can't tell.
1229
00:49:44,936 --> 00:49:46,369
No, I'm...
I'm trying to help you.
1230
00:49:46,403 --> 00:49:47,237
It's my first time.
1231
00:49:47,270 --> 00:49:48,371
They say the first time's
the hardest.
1232
00:49:48,405 --> 00:49:49,807
No, no, no, wait.
1233
00:49:49,841 --> 00:49:50,775
There's a cop at the register.
Seriously, don't do it.
1234
00:49:50,808 --> 00:49:52,043
Stop fuckin' with me, man.
1235
00:49:52,076 --> 00:49:53,343
Do you think this is easy?
1236
00:49:53,376 --> 00:49:54,578
You should try it, dip shit.
1237
00:49:54,611 --> 00:49:56,013
I'm... I'm not...
I've...
1238
00:49:58,415 --> 00:50:00,350
That's the video.
1239
00:50:00,383 --> 00:50:02,586
These motherfuckers robbed
a Food Mart in a Porsche.
1240
00:50:02,619 --> 00:50:04,287
Who robs a Food Mart
in a Porsche?
1241
00:50:04,321 --> 00:50:05,288
Nobody does.
1242
00:50:05,322 --> 00:50:06,523
It smells fishy.
1243
00:50:06,556 --> 00:50:07,524
We think it's an inside job.
1244
00:50:07,557 --> 00:50:09,626
Let me get two ring pops
for my buddy the Ramrod.
1245
00:50:34,518 --> 00:50:35,385
- What the...
- Don't make me do it!
1246
00:50:35,418 --> 00:50:37,021
Okay, drop the gun now!
1247
00:50:37,054 --> 00:50:38,022
No.
1248
00:50:38,055 --> 00:50:39,791
Drop the gun.
1249
00:50:39,824 --> 00:50:40,624
I'm gonna shoot him.
1250
00:50:40,657 --> 00:50:41,926
No, you're not.
1251
00:50:41,959 --> 00:50:43,761
Yeah, I am and... and then,
and then who knows.
1252
00:50:43,795 --> 00:50:45,062
That shit ain't gonna work
like you think.
1253
00:50:45,096 --> 00:50:48,032
Drop... the gun!
1254
00:50:48,065 --> 00:50:49,466
You drop your gun!
1255
00:50:50,067 --> 00:50:51,002
No!
1256
00:50:57,141 --> 00:50:58,608
I'm gonna shoot him, man.
1257
00:50:58,642 --> 00:51:00,410
You don't know me.
1258
00:51:00,443 --> 00:51:01,645
You don't know
my capabilities.
1259
00:51:01,678 --> 00:51:03,647
Wait a minute,
you shut up for a second.
1260
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:04,748
Are you recording this?
1261
00:51:04,782 --> 00:51:06,349
Yeah, man.
1262
00:51:06,383 --> 00:51:07,852
You guys don't have the best
reputation right now.
1263
00:51:07,885 --> 00:51:09,486
That's right,
Black Lives Matter.
1264
00:51:11,122 --> 00:51:11,789
Okay.
1265
00:51:11,823 --> 00:51:13,124
Neither of you two are Black.
1266
00:51:13,157 --> 00:51:14,457
That's why you haven't
shot him yet?
1267
00:51:17,094 --> 00:51:18,595
I know yo...
1268
00:51:18,628 --> 00:51:20,765
You're the handsome
motherfucker from Food Mart.
1269
00:51:21,999 --> 00:51:24,568
Dude, dude, we've gotta go!
1270
00:51:24,601 --> 00:51:25,702
We gotta go!
1271
00:51:28,405 --> 00:51:29,372
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
1272
00:51:36,479 --> 00:51:37,882
Whose list are you on?
1273
00:51:37,915 --> 00:51:39,784
Uh, that will be Ken,
and my name is Ace.
1274
00:51:39,817 --> 00:51:41,052
Ace, huh?
1275
00:51:42,019 --> 00:51:44,021
Yeah, like...
like Ventura.
1276
00:51:44,055 --> 00:51:45,756
Alrighty, then!
1277
00:51:46,556 --> 00:51:47,158
Welcome, Ace.
1278
00:51:47,825 --> 00:51:48,592
Nice car.
1279
00:51:48,625 --> 00:51:49,994
It's my weekend whip.
1280
00:51:50,027 --> 00:51:50,828
They're good.
1281
00:51:50,862 --> 00:51:52,662
And here are your mandatory
outfits.
1282
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:56,868
Outfits?
1283
00:52:00,972 --> 00:52:01,973
Okay.
1284
00:52:05,843 --> 00:52:07,577
Have a good time, gentlemen.
1285
00:52:17,021 --> 00:52:18,588
Sushi to go.
1286
00:52:18,622 --> 00:52:19,991
Sushi to go.
1287
00:52:26,596 --> 00:52:27,999
Man.
1288
00:52:28,032 --> 00:52:28,866
Okay.
1289
00:52:31,668 --> 00:52:32,904
Yo, man, this is the shit, man.
1290
00:52:32,937 --> 00:52:34,205
What did I tell you?
1291
00:52:34,238 --> 00:52:35,139
What did I tell you?
1292
00:52:35,172 --> 00:52:36,040
You told me.
1293
00:52:36,073 --> 00:52:37,141
You, uh, told me.
1294
00:52:37,174 --> 00:52:38,276
This is it.
1295
00:52:38,309 --> 00:52:41,078
Uh, does this seem like a bit of
a guy thing to you?
1296
00:52:41,112 --> 00:52:43,613
Oh, a guy thing to me is
watching football with a beer
1297
00:52:43,647 --> 00:52:44,882
in one hand and my nuts
in the other,
1298
00:52:44,916 --> 00:52:46,716
but I ain't trippin'.
1299
00:52:46,750 --> 00:52:49,552
This is my first
man on man extravaganza.
1300
00:52:49,586 --> 00:52:50,755
You got any friends here?
1301
00:52:50,788 --> 00:52:51,789
I don't think so.
1302
00:52:52,522 --> 00:52:53,590
Gilbert?
1303
00:52:54,959 --> 00:52:56,559
Gilbert!
1304
00:52:56,593 --> 00:52:57,527
Shit!
1305
00:52:58,930 --> 00:53:00,630
- G Spot!
- Hey.
1306
00:53:00,664 --> 00:53:02,867
How did I know I'd find you
here, you sexy bitch?
1307
00:53:02,900 --> 00:53:04,168
Yeah, we had fun today, right?
1308
00:53:05,669 --> 00:53:06,871
1Up to you, Justin.
1309
00:53:06,904 --> 00:53:08,205
Whoo!
1310
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:08,940
Hey, man, you've got a little
thing on your...
1311
00:53:08,973 --> 00:53:09,572
Whoa!
1312
00:53:09,606 --> 00:53:10,540
Oh!
1313
00:53:11,842 --> 00:53:12,910
- What the fuck was that, man?
- Relax, dude.
1314
00:53:12,944 --> 00:53:14,577
It's just cocaine,
full nose candy.
1315
00:53:14,611 --> 00:53:15,212
Dude, relax.
1316
00:53:15,246 --> 00:53:16,013
Stop being so square.
1317
00:53:16,047 --> 00:53:16,781
Come on.
1318
00:53:20,650 --> 00:53:22,019
Hey, uh, enjoy yourself,
G Spot.
1319
00:53:22,053 --> 00:53:22,887
Wait, wait, wait!
1320
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:23,788
Jimmy, where...
where you goin', man?
1321
00:53:23,821 --> 00:53:24,388
- Come on, dude.
- Where you going, Jimmy?
1322
00:53:24,422 --> 00:53:25,089
We got to dance, bitch!
1323
00:53:25,122 --> 00:53:27,158
Guys,
come meet my friend.
1324
00:53:41,705 --> 00:53:42,974
Oh!
1325
00:53:43,007 --> 00:53:44,641
I'm so glad you made it.
1326
00:53:44,674 --> 00:53:46,811
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
1327
00:53:46,844 --> 00:53:49,512
My pussy and I
have been waiting for you.
1328
00:53:49,546 --> 00:53:52,116
Well, the wait is over
for both of you.
1329
00:53:57,922 --> 00:53:59,090
Hey, buddy.
1330
00:53:59,123 --> 00:54:00,523
Yeah?
1331
00:54:00,557 --> 00:54:01,759
Do you want to hang out
sometime?
1332
00:54:01,792 --> 00:54:03,027
- Uh...
- Here's my card.
1333
00:54:03,060 --> 00:54:05,062
It has all my contact info
on there.
1334
00:54:05,096 --> 00:54:06,730
Oh, and I talked
to my girlfriend.
1335
00:54:06,764 --> 00:54:09,233
She's down to clown around
in threesome town.
1336
00:54:09,266 --> 00:54:11,235
She said you could be
the mayor.
1337
00:54:11,268 --> 00:54:13,137
- Okay.
- Cool.
1338
00:54:26,583 --> 00:54:27,852
Jaclyn, hey.
1339
00:54:27,885 --> 00:54:29,186
Jaclyn?
1340
00:54:29,220 --> 00:54:30,021
Hmm?
1341
00:54:30,821 --> 00:54:32,589
- Where is she?
- No.
1342
00:54:32,622 --> 00:54:33,290
No, no.
1343
00:54:33,791 --> 00:54:34,925
I need your help.
1344
00:54:34,959 --> 00:54:37,061
- Jesus Christ.
- Who are you?
1345
00:54:37,094 --> 00:54:38,728
Oh, Jesus Christ!
1346
00:54:38,763 --> 00:54:39,263
Oh, my God.
1347
00:54:39,296 --> 00:54:40,231
I completely forgot.
1348
00:54:40,264 --> 00:54:41,098
He's...
1349
00:54:41,132 --> 00:54:41,731
- Hmm?
- Oh.
1350
00:54:41,766 --> 00:54:42,800
You could go kiss her now.
1351
00:54:54,644 --> 00:54:55,279
Whoa!
1352
00:54:55,312 --> 00:54:55,846
Sorry, dude.
1353
00:54:55,880 --> 00:54:57,081
Watch your step, man.
1354
00:54:57,114 --> 00:54:58,082
My bad.
1355
00:55:17,068 --> 00:55:17,935
Oh!
1356
00:55:17,968 --> 00:55:19,170
Hey, what's up, Black dude.
1357
00:55:19,203 --> 00:55:20,237
How you doing, man?
1358
00:55:20,271 --> 00:55:22,039
I'm looking
for the fuckin' room.
1359
00:55:22,073 --> 00:55:23,640
Any ideas, Lennox Lewis?
1360
00:55:25,943 --> 00:55:26,743
What you got there?
1361
00:55:39,423 --> 00:55:41,658
Show 'em what you got.
1362
00:55:41,691 --> 00:55:43,828
What is that double dickin' it,
or jizz in the eye?
1363
00:55:43,861 --> 00:55:46,663
Alright, you... can you just
support me right now?
1364
00:55:46,696 --> 00:55:47,531
What the fuck? I am.
1365
00:55:47,565 --> 00:55:48,933
You're not being
a good wingwoman at all.
1366
00:55:48,966 --> 00:55:50,101
Yes, I am being a good...
1367
00:55:50,134 --> 00:55:50,968
That's so mean.
1368
00:55:51,001 --> 00:55:51,402
I led you...
1369
00:55:51,435 --> 00:55:52,403
Whoo!
1370
00:55:52,436 --> 00:55:53,938
Just go dance with her.
1371
00:55:53,971 --> 00:55:55,372
She's right fucking there,
and she's asking for it.
1372
00:55:55,406 --> 00:55:56,173
She wants it.
1373
00:55:56,207 --> 00:55:57,640
It's not... No.
1374
00:55:57,674 --> 00:55:58,242
Go!
1375
00:55:58,275 --> 00:55:59,844
It's not the right time.
1376
00:55:59,877 --> 00:56:02,079
It is the right time.
1377
00:56:02,113 --> 00:56:03,746
Let me tell you a secret.
1378
00:56:03,781 --> 00:56:04,849
It is the right time.
1379
00:56:06,383 --> 00:56:07,785
What are you doing?
1380
00:56:07,818 --> 00:56:09,086
I'm cueing you.
1381
00:56:10,387 --> 00:56:11,088
Hi!
1382
00:56:11,122 --> 00:56:13,090
I bumped right...
That's so crazy!
1383
00:56:14,291 --> 00:56:15,226
I didn't even mean to do that
at all.
1384
00:56:15,259 --> 00:56:16,227
- Hi.
- Hi.
1385
00:56:16,260 --> 00:56:18,162
You look so sexy.
1386
00:56:18,195 --> 00:56:18,829
Wow.
1387
00:56:18,863 --> 00:56:19,662
- Oh, my God.
- Thank you.
1388
00:56:19,696 --> 00:56:21,432
We should make this
thing happen.
1389
00:56:21,465 --> 00:56:22,967
- Oh, really?
- Oh, we're leaving.
1390
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,335
- Alright, I love you.
- We'll see you in a while.
1391
00:56:24,368 --> 00:56:25,735
- Bye.
- Love you!
1392
00:56:31,876 --> 00:56:33,010
Hey, Summer.
1393
00:56:33,043 --> 00:56:34,445
- Hey!
- Hi.
1394
00:56:34,478 --> 00:56:35,146
Made it!
1395
00:56:36,881 --> 00:56:38,748
Ass?
1396
00:56:38,782 --> 00:56:40,284
Um... Ac... actually...
1397
00:56:40,317 --> 00:56:41,385
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
1398
00:56:41,418 --> 00:56:42,253
I know it's Ace.
1399
00:56:42,286 --> 00:56:43,420
Oh, yeah.
1400
00:56:43,454 --> 00:56:44,054
Good one.
1401
00:56:44,088 --> 00:56:45,756
Ass.
1402
00:56:45,789 --> 00:56:47,158
Yeah, well, actually I have a...
I have the invitation.
1403
00:56:47,191 --> 00:56:48,425
I brought it.
1404
00:56:48,459 --> 00:56:50,060
And you still have it?
1405
00:56:50,094 --> 00:56:51,462
Yeah.
1406
00:56:51,495 --> 00:56:53,730
Security didn't take it
at the door?
1407
00:56:53,764 --> 00:56:56,333
Oh, uh, I didn't... I didn't see
security there.
1408
00:56:56,367 --> 00:56:58,735
- What-
- I'm fucking with you.
1409
00:56:58,769 --> 00:57:00,237
There's no security,
It's not the airport.
1410
00:57:00,271 --> 00:57:00,971
Oh!
1411
00:57:02,373 --> 00:57:03,274
You know I think that you're
the only person that
1412
00:57:03,307 --> 00:57:05,176
has that still.
1413
00:57:05,209 --> 00:57:08,245
Oh, uh, it just...
it was nice.
1414
00:57:08,279 --> 00:57:10,014
Oh, my God, um...
1415
00:57:10,047 --> 00:57:11,182
What time is it?
1416
00:57:11,215 --> 00:57:13,851
Um, almost nine.
1417
00:57:14,485 --> 00:57:15,486
I have to go check the food.
1418
00:57:15,519 --> 00:57:17,054
- I'm so sorry.
- Um...
1419
00:57:17,087 --> 00:57:17,922
Okay.
1420
00:57:17,955 --> 00:57:18,822
Stay.
1421
00:57:18,856 --> 00:57:19,456
Dance.
1422
00:57:19,490 --> 00:57:20,291
- Have fun!
- Yeah.
1423
00:57:20,324 --> 00:57:22,692
No, I'll keep...
I'll keep dancing.
1424
00:57:24,128 --> 00:57:25,462
Double dickin' it.
1425
00:57:30,367 --> 00:57:31,302
You know these clowns?
1426
00:57:31,335 --> 00:57:32,203
I know him.
1427
00:57:32,236 --> 00:57:33,103
I know him as Gilbert.
1428
00:57:33,137 --> 00:57:34,737
We play Fortnite together.
1429
00:57:34,772 --> 00:57:35,940
He's a sweet guy.
1430
00:57:35,973 --> 00:57:37,074
He said that you supply him
all the time.
1431
00:57:37,107 --> 00:57:38,909
Oh, that adds up.
1432
00:57:38,943 --> 00:57:40,177
Take the ball gags
out of their fucking mouths.
1433
00:57:42,346 --> 00:57:43,914
Thank you.
1434
00:57:43,948 --> 00:57:45,416
I... I think this is just
all a huge misunderstanding.
1435
00:57:45,449 --> 00:57:47,084
Misunderstanding?
1436
00:57:47,117 --> 00:57:50,221
A misunderstand, no, no,
this is not a misunderstanding.
1437
00:57:50,254 --> 00:57:54,425
This is a fuck up,
that which cannot be un-fucked.
1438
00:57:54,458 --> 00:57:56,327
I throw these parties
because they cater
1439
00:57:56,360 --> 00:57:58,395
to a very specific
clientele base.
1440
00:57:58,429 --> 00:57:59,930
- The gays?
- Yeah.
1441
00:57:59,964 --> 00:58:01,899
Gay guys have so much money
because all they do
1442
00:58:01,932 --> 00:58:05,369
is look amazing, take vacations,
fuck, and do drugs.
1443
00:58:05,402 --> 00:58:07,238
And I throw these parties
knowing I will get back three
1444
00:58:07,271 --> 00:58:10,808
or four times the amount
I put in as an investment.
1445
00:58:10,841 --> 00:58:11,875
It's called an ROI.
1446
00:58:11,909 --> 00:58:14,078
And you two fucking clowns
thought it would be okay
1447
00:58:14,111 --> 00:58:16,547
to come in my house and steal
my motherfucking money.
1448
00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:17,915
Look, I... I completely
understand
1449
00:58:17,948 --> 00:58:19,116
where you're coming from,
Lady Victoria.
1450
00:58:19,149 --> 00:58:21,552
You seem to have a very strong
sense of entrepreneurship,
1451
00:58:21,585 --> 00:58:23,420
but... but I actually graduate
high school pretty soon,
1452
00:58:23,454 --> 00:58:24,955
so maybe I can work
off that debt.
1453
00:58:24,989 --> 00:58:26,090
Shut the fuck up.
1454
00:58:26,123 --> 00:58:27,124
- Justin!
- Yeah?
1455
00:58:27,157 --> 00:58:28,292
Did he just say highschool?
1456
00:58:28,325 --> 00:58:31,562
Uh... I wasn't listening,
1457
00:58:31,595 --> 00:58:33,297
but I'm sending you
my deepest apologies.
1458
00:58:33,330 --> 00:58:35,432
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
1459
00:58:35,466 --> 00:58:37,835
Jimmy, I'm keeping
your fuckin' Porsche.
1460
00:58:37,868 --> 00:58:39,103
You can say
goodbye to that pussy magnet.
1461
00:58:39,136 --> 00:58:41,238
With all due respect,
Miss White Lady,
1462
00:58:41,272 --> 00:58:42,106
you can't have my Porsche.
1463
00:58:42,139 --> 00:58:43,007
It's a dealership vehicle.
1464
00:58:43,040 --> 00:58:44,141
Oh, 'cause it's a dealership
vehicle?
1465
00:58:44,174 --> 00:58:45,075
Yeah, they'll come after you.
1466
00:58:45,109 --> 00:58:46,010
I'll go to fucking Porsche jail?
1467
00:58:46,043 --> 00:58:47,444
Give her the Porsche.
1468
00:58:47,478 --> 00:58:48,479
- I'm not giving her my Porsche.
- Give her the Porsche.
1469
00:58:48,512 --> 00:58:49,847
What the fuck
is wrong with you?
1470
00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:50,781
Give her the Porsche.
1471
00:58:50,814 --> 00:58:51,382
I ain't giving her no damn
Porsche, man.
1472
00:58:51,415 --> 00:58:53,150
Then we'll fuckin' die.
1473
00:58:53,183 --> 00:58:54,585
If either of you two ever come
near me again or ruin
1474
00:58:54,618 --> 00:58:57,021
one of my parties,
I will personally
1475
00:58:57,054 --> 00:58:58,589
be responsible
for burning both
1476
00:58:58,622 --> 00:59:01,458
of your useless fucking
dicks off.
1477
00:59:01,492 --> 00:59:03,427
That makes it... that makes it
sound like one of you
1478
00:59:03,460 --> 00:59:04,561
might have two dicks.
1479
00:59:04,595 --> 00:59:06,497
Okay, to clarify,
you both have one dick
1480
00:59:06,530 --> 00:59:08,565
and I'm burning that dick off.
1481
00:59:09,500 --> 00:59:10,401
The keys are in his pocket.
1482
00:59:17,241 --> 00:59:18,142
Okay.
1483
00:59:18,175 --> 00:59:18,575
Hey!
1484
00:59:18,609 --> 00:59:19,576
Hey, Chad.
1485
00:59:19,610 --> 00:59:20,978
How you doing, man?
1486
00:59:21,011 --> 00:59:22,146
Wh... are you having a good time,
Ace, right?
1487
00:59:22,179 --> 00:59:23,947
Uh, yeah.
1488
00:59:23,981 --> 00:59:25,149
Yeah, thanks, man.
1489
00:59:25,182 --> 00:59:26,283
Just got here, so.
1490
00:59:26,317 --> 00:59:27,885
Listen, um,
1491
00:59:30,587 --> 00:59:33,457
You like Summer, right?
1492
00:59:33,490 --> 00:59:35,359
Uh, she's... she's cool.
1493
00:59:35,392 --> 00:59:37,294
Man, she's beyond cool.
1494
00:59:37,328 --> 00:59:37,861
Am I right, Matt?
1495
00:59:37,895 --> 00:59:39,630
Like, bro, of course.
1496
00:59:39,663 --> 00:59:42,199
We know she your baddy, brah.
1497
00:59:42,232 --> 00:59:43,901
- I don't...
- Listen, listen.
1498
00:59:43,934 --> 00:59:45,903
You know, we're...
we're both handsome guys.
1499
00:59:45,936 --> 00:59:47,905
We skip dessert every now
and then.
1500
00:59:47,938 --> 00:59:49,173
No hard feelings.
1501
00:59:52,609 --> 00:59:54,244
May the best man win.
1502
00:59:55,379 --> 00:59:56,213
What?
1503
00:59:57,147 --> 00:59:58,048
Get outta here, man!
1504
00:59:58,082 --> 00:59:58,916
You too!
1505
00:59:58,949 --> 01:00:00,351
Oh, man!
1506
01:00:02,619 --> 01:00:04,555
I cannot go back to work without
that Porsche, man.
1507
01:00:04,588 --> 01:00:06,490
Why can't you just tell them it
was stolen?
1508
01:00:06,523 --> 01:00:09,159
Because I've used that excuse
like a thousand times.
1509
01:00:13,230 --> 01:00:14,531
Bingo, bitch!
1510
01:00:14,833 --> 01:00:17,134
How're we gonna get it
outta there?
1511
01:00:17,167 --> 01:00:18,102
Um...
1512
01:00:27,444 --> 01:00:28,512
What are you doing, man?
1513
01:00:30,047 --> 01:00:30,914
What are you looking for?
1514
01:00:30,948 --> 01:00:31,682
Uh...
1515
01:00:32,383 --> 01:00:33,283
This.
1516
01:00:34,284 --> 01:00:35,119
Are you sure about this?
1517
01:00:36,587 --> 01:00:38,222
You're welcome to call an Uber.
1518
01:00:38,255 --> 01:00:39,556
I don't have
any fucking pants on.
1519
01:00:39,590 --> 01:00:41,091
My phone was in my pants.
1520
01:00:41,125 --> 01:00:41,692
Exactly.
1521
01:00:41,725 --> 01:00:42,626
Get in.
1522
01:00:44,561 --> 01:00:45,195
Fuck!
1523
01:00:46,563 --> 01:00:48,632
Oh, God!
1524
01:00:48,665 --> 01:00:51,201
This was uh,
this was a fucking mistake.
1525
01:00:53,937 --> 01:00:55,305
Another fucking condom!
1526
01:00:56,473 --> 01:00:57,574
Oh, shit!
1527
01:00:59,176 --> 01:01:00,377
What the fuck was that?
1528
01:01:00,411 --> 01:01:00,911
Nothing.
1529
01:01:00,944 --> 01:01:01,945
I just pooted, man.
1530
01:01:01,979 --> 01:01:02,413
Relax.
1531
01:01:02,446 --> 01:01:03,647
In my face, man?
1532
01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:05,349
We are in a tube of shit.
1533
01:01:05,382 --> 01:01:07,050
I can't fuckin' breathe, man!
1534
01:01:07,084 --> 01:01:08,051
Come on.
1535
01:01:09,753 --> 01:01:11,622
Uh... My back's all fucked up
right now.
1536
01:01:13,223 --> 01:01:14,224
You know I've got problems
with my knees.
1537
01:01:16,326 --> 01:01:17,227
- What the fuck?
- I know.
1538
01:01:17,261 --> 01:01:18,095
- What the fuck?
- I know.
1539
01:01:18,128 --> 01:01:19,229
- What the fuck?
- I know.
1540
01:01:19,263 --> 01:01:20,964
- So get rid of it!
- I can't!
1541
01:01:20,998 --> 01:01:22,599
If I let it go, it's gonna bite
the shit out of me, alright.
1542
01:01:22,633 --> 01:01:23,967
- Do you want that to happen?
- No.
1543
01:01:24,001 --> 01:01:24,568
- Do you?
- No!
1544
01:01:24,601 --> 01:01:25,736
- Do you?
- No!
1545
01:01:25,770 --> 01:01:27,271
Let's find something
to kill it with.
1546
01:01:27,304 --> 01:01:29,373
I'll go get the car.
1547
01:01:32,109 --> 01:01:33,177
Snake!
1548
01:01:33,210 --> 01:01:36,747
Why do I got to keep
seeing you? Mm?
1549
01:01:36,781 --> 01:01:38,081
What did I say?
1550
01:01:38,115 --> 01:01:39,650
Hey!
1551
01:01:39,683 --> 01:01:42,052
Why do I have to keep dealing
with you and your tiny twin?
1552
01:01:42,085 --> 01:01:43,086
Wait, where's your tiny twin?
1553
01:01:55,566 --> 01:01:56,400
I killed her.
1554
01:01:56,433 --> 01:01:57,501
I fucking killed
her, man.
1555
01:01:57,534 --> 01:01:58,735
Shit!
1556
01:01:58,770 --> 01:02:00,537
Shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit!
1557
01:02:00,571 --> 01:02:02,506
Stop!
1558
01:02:02,539 --> 01:02:04,575
She's fine, alright.
1559
01:02:04,608 --> 01:02:06,143
I'm sure this isn't
the first time she's been hit
1560
01:02:06,176 --> 01:02:08,780
in the head
with a fucking shovel.
1561
01:02:08,813 --> 01:02:11,648
And what the fuck
is your problem, man?
1562
01:02:11,682 --> 01:02:13,617
You're the reason
why we're even in this shit.
1563
01:02:13,650 --> 01:02:14,886
You want to rob people and shit.
1564
01:02:14,919 --> 01:02:17,354
You need to stop it, 'cause
you're not good at it, Jimmy.
1565
01:02:17,387 --> 01:02:19,056
You suck at it, Jimmy.
1566
01:02:25,729 --> 01:02:32,469
A thirty year-old grown ass man
who lives in his dad's basement.
1567
01:02:32,503 --> 01:02:36,440
I've accomplished nothing,
literally nothing.
1568
01:02:39,376 --> 01:02:44,548
Now I'm sitting here
in my boxers
1569
01:02:44,581 --> 01:02:49,419
covered in sewage with fucking
snake semen in my eyes.
1570
01:02:55,425 --> 01:02:56,727
She didn't burn our dicks off.
1571
01:03:06,103 --> 01:03:07,839
I think I'm gonna call it
a night.
1572
01:03:07,872 --> 01:03:09,306
I'm not really
in the mood to party.
1573
01:03:11,375 --> 01:03:13,443
Do you think I could come inside
and take a shower,
1574
01:03:13,477 --> 01:03:15,445
borrow some clothes?
1575
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:17,347
Okay.
1576
01:03:21,218 --> 01:03:23,153
I have someone else's shit
in my ass.
1577
01:03:37,668 --> 01:03:39,536
Hey, ladies and gentlemen,
1578
01:03:39,570 --> 01:03:42,439
can I get your attention,
please?
1579
01:03:42,472 --> 01:03:44,274
What do you think?
1580
01:03:44,308 --> 01:03:46,510
Let's have a motherfucking
dance off!
1581
01:04:00,758 --> 01:04:02,192
Boy, you look goofy as hell.
1582
01:04:02,225 --> 01:04:03,627
What do you have me wearing?
1583
01:04:03,660 --> 01:04:06,163
You look like a 90s lesbian,
1584
01:04:06,196 --> 01:04:08,465
like a blackened blueberry.
1585
01:04:08,498 --> 01:04:10,500
You wanna play?
1586
01:04:10,534 --> 01:04:11,468
Get that, get that.
1587
01:04:11,501 --> 01:04:12,703
Yeah, give me all of that.
1588
01:04:12,736 --> 01:04:13,871
Oh, got you shawty.
1589
01:04:13,905 --> 01:04:14,839
Oh, my God!
1590
01:04:14,872 --> 01:04:15,873
Got you shawty.
1591
01:04:15,907 --> 01:04:16,707
Yeah.
1592
01:04:16,740 --> 01:04:17,741
Yeah.
1593
01:04:17,775 --> 01:04:18,843
Why am I going...
1594
01:04:18,876 --> 01:04:21,645
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
1595
01:04:21,678 --> 01:04:25,716
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
1596
01:04:25,749 --> 01:04:29,753
- ♪ Happy Birthday, dear Jimmy ♪
- Oh, my God.
1597
01:04:29,787 --> 01:04:35,158
♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
1598
01:04:35,192 --> 01:04:36,159
Birthday?
1599
01:04:37,829 --> 01:04:40,597
So, how you fellas gonna
celebrate this event?
1600
01:04:41,565 --> 01:04:45,535
Well, I had this really cool
party lined up for tonight.
1601
01:04:45,569 --> 01:04:46,804
Oh.
1602
01:04:46,838 --> 01:04:49,239
But your son here's playing
hardball with me.
1603
01:04:49,272 --> 01:04:50,440
It's a high school party.
1604
01:04:51,776 --> 01:04:52,777
Hmm.
1605
01:04:52,810 --> 01:04:54,745
That's fine.
1606
01:04:54,779 --> 01:04:59,383
I was hoping for some father
and son time anyway.
1607
01:04:59,416 --> 01:05:04,889
You know, I think
"Casablanca" is on TCM again.
1608
01:05:04,922 --> 01:05:09,794
I could fix some popcorn
and s'mores.
1609
01:05:09,827 --> 01:05:11,896
We can hang around,
you know.
1610
01:05:12,964 --> 01:05:14,197
Fuck you, Dad.
1611
01:05:21,005 --> 01:05:24,741
Attention Unit
3465, we have reports that a Porsche,
1612
01:05:24,776 --> 01:05:27,477
tinted windows,
no plate heading westbound,
1613
01:05:27,511 --> 01:05:29,546
Highway 84 towards downtown.
1614
01:05:29,579 --> 01:05:30,514
Please respond immediately.
1615
01:05:30,547 --> 01:05:31,849
Goddamn it!
1616
01:05:31,883 --> 01:05:33,350
I'm not even gonna be able
to finish my dinner now.
1617
01:05:41,324 --> 01:05:42,693
Ooh, this place is nice!
1618
01:05:44,594 --> 01:05:46,229
I'll go look for my buddy.
1619
01:05:46,263 --> 01:05:47,698
Alright.
1620
01:05:47,731 --> 01:05:48,732
Do your thing, man.
1621
01:05:48,766 --> 01:05:49,366
Give me that shit.
1622
01:05:49,399 --> 01:05:50,534
Hey, man, that's my drink.
1623
01:05:50,567 --> 01:05:51,735
Yeah, I know.
1624
01:05:52,202 --> 01:05:53,437
I don't want any fights
from you.
1625
01:05:53,470 --> 01:05:55,405
Yeah, I know.
1626
01:05:55,439 --> 01:05:56,440
With your lemon shirt.
1627
01:06:15,760 --> 01:06:16,928
Looks like it's your turn,
buddy.
1628
01:06:24,468 --> 01:06:25,669
Holy shit, boy!
1629
01:06:40,550 --> 01:06:41,786
What are you doing?
1630
01:06:41,819 --> 01:06:43,453
- We need to do this.
- Do what?
1631
01:06:43,487 --> 01:06:44,122
- Dance.
- Dan...
1632
01:06:44,155 --> 01:06:44,822
We're not dancing right now.
1633
01:06:44,856 --> 01:06:45,722
Yes, we are dancing right now.
1634
01:06:45,757 --> 01:06:47,657
- Yeah, we are.
- No, we're not dancing.
1635
01:06:47,691 --> 01:06:48,893
- You know why?
- Why?
1636
01:06:51,528 --> 01:06:52,897
What are they doing?
1637
01:06:55,732 --> 01:06:57,334
Always got your back,
and you know it, man.
1638
01:06:57,367 --> 01:06:58,368
I've got your back.
1639
01:06:59,469 --> 01:07:00,303
I've got you.
1640
01:07:15,552 --> 01:07:19,389
No, I don't know
why you're not there
1641
01:07:19,422 --> 01:07:23,094
I give you my love,
but you don't care
1642
01:07:23,127 --> 01:07:26,931
So what is right
and what is wrong?
1643
01:07:26,964 --> 01:07:29,066
Give me a sign
1644
01:07:29,100 --> 01:07:30,835
What is love?
1645
01:07:30,868 --> 01:07:33,403
Oh, baby, don't hurt me
1646
01:07:33,436 --> 01:07:36,841
Don't hurt me, no more
1647
01:07:36,874 --> 01:07:38,642
What is love?
1648
01:07:38,675 --> 01:07:40,978
Oh, baby, don't hurt me
1649
01:07:41,012 --> 01:07:44,347
Don't hurt me, no more
1650
01:08:05,803 --> 01:08:06,871
Lemon.
1651
01:08:09,807 --> 01:08:13,610
No, I don't know
what can I do?
1652
01:08:13,643 --> 01:08:17,547
What else can I say?
It's up to you
1653
01:08:17,581 --> 01:08:19,382
I know we're one...
1654
01:08:19,416 --> 01:08:20,885
I love you, Ace!
1655
01:08:20,918 --> 01:08:23,054
I can't go on
1656
01:08:23,921 --> 01:08:24,688
What is love?
1657
01:08:31,996 --> 01:08:33,130
Why do we not notice him?
1658
01:08:33,164 --> 01:08:35,465
Why can't we join in right now?
1659
01:08:35,498 --> 01:08:37,601
Ace, go Ace, go Ace...
1660
01:08:47,211 --> 01:08:48,445
What is love?
1661
01:09:00,892 --> 01:09:03,593
It's not about how hard
you get hit.
1662
01:09:04,762 --> 01:09:06,163
It's about how fast
you get back up.
1663
01:09:12,003 --> 01:09:12,602
I'm sorry, pal.
1664
01:09:12,636 --> 01:09:14,839
You did you did your best.
1665
01:09:14,872 --> 01:09:16,207
Man, I'm just trying
to show love, bro.
1666
01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:19,110
Hey, funny little dude.
1667
01:09:19,143 --> 01:09:20,845
I didn't know you could
dance like that.
1668
01:09:20,878 --> 01:09:22,679
Yeah, well, there's a lot of
things we don't know
1669
01:09:22,712 --> 01:09:23,781
about each other, baby.
1670
01:09:25,615 --> 01:09:27,717
- I crossed the line.
- You absolutely did.
1671
01:09:27,751 --> 01:09:29,486
- I can't call you, baby?
- You definitely cannot.
1672
01:09:29,519 --> 01:09:31,122
You're right.
1673
01:09:31,155 --> 01:09:31,756
You're very right.
1674
01:09:31,789 --> 01:09:32,957
Can we start over, please?
1675
01:09:34,091 --> 01:09:35,692
Sure.
1676
01:09:35,725 --> 01:09:37,560
- Gilbert.
- Ava.
1677
01:09:39,230 --> 01:09:40,563
- Would you like to dance?
- Hi.
1678
01:09:42,499 --> 01:09:43,667
Have fun.
1679
01:10:03,854 --> 01:10:06,123
That was um...
1680
01:10:06,157 --> 01:10:08,192
It's was a lot of fun to watch.
1681
01:10:08,225 --> 01:10:08,893
Thank... thanks.
1682
01:10:08,926 --> 01:10:10,560
Yeah, I've worked on it a lot.
1683
01:10:10,593 --> 01:10:11,695
I can tell.
1684
01:10:13,730 --> 01:10:15,900
Do you want to dance?
1685
01:10:15,933 --> 01:10:18,135
You wa...
you want to dance with me?
1686
01:10:18,169 --> 01:10:19,170
Yes.
1687
01:10:21,072 --> 01:10:22,840
Yeah, just give me one second.
1688
01:10:24,108 --> 01:10:24,976
Okay.
1689
01:10:25,009 --> 01:10:25,776
Cool.
1690
01:10:33,451 --> 01:10:34,819
Where the fuck did that dance
routine come from?
1691
01:10:34,852 --> 01:10:36,220
Okay, so it's a game me
and Neil play.
1692
01:10:36,253 --> 01:10:37,822
No, that is something
you guys rehearsed.
1693
01:10:37,855 --> 01:10:38,621
No, see, no.
1694
01:10:38,655 --> 01:10:40,157
Your timing was tight.
1695
01:10:40,191 --> 01:10:41,859
I don't want y'all to think
we just be in the rooms like...
1696
01:10:41,892 --> 01:10:43,560
You guys do that every night
before you go to bed.
1697
01:10:43,593 --> 01:10:44,261
- 100% right?
- No, no, no.
1698
01:10:44,295 --> 01:10:45,595
Do you know what
I'm saying?
1699
01:10:45,628 --> 01:10:46,797
I believe you this much.
1700
01:10:54,205 --> 01:10:55,940
You're doing great.
1701
01:10:57,607 --> 01:10:58,075
You're doing great!
1702
01:11:06,649 --> 01:11:08,019
Sorry it had to be like this,
bro.
1703
01:11:13,224 --> 01:11:15,159
Oh, my God!
1704
01:11:15,192 --> 01:11:16,559
Oh, my God!
1705
01:11:36,746 --> 01:11:38,315
Aw, man, gross!
1706
01:11:39,716 --> 01:11:40,550
Are you alright?
1707
01:11:40,583 --> 01:11:42,286
- That looked gnarly.
- Fuck you, man!
1708
01:11:42,319 --> 01:11:43,320
Hey, whoa!
1709
01:11:43,354 --> 01:11:44,955
What the hell just happened?
1710
01:11:44,989 --> 01:11:46,323
They pushed the porta potty
in the pool.
1711
01:11:46,357 --> 01:11:47,024
That's a lie.
1712
01:11:47,058 --> 01:11:47,657
Did you fuckin' do this, Chad?
1713
01:11:47,690 --> 01:11:49,226
What? Why would I
do that?
1714
01:11:49,260 --> 01:11:50,693
This guy's our good friend,
1715
01:11:50,727 --> 01:11:52,363
not to mention
hell of a dancer.
1716
01:11:52,396 --> 01:11:53,864
Aw, why would you do that?
1717
01:11:55,299 --> 01:11:56,901
Oh!
1718
01:11:56,934 --> 01:11:58,369
I'm not sorry it
had to be like this, bro.
1719
01:12:01,205 --> 01:12:02,073
Freak!
1720
01:12:02,106 --> 01:12:02,940
This is nasty!
1721
01:12:02,973 --> 01:12:04,741
Get out!
1722
01:12:04,775 --> 01:12:06,143
Get out of my party
right now.
1723
01:12:06,177 --> 01:12:07,812
- What the fuck did we do?
- Just get out!
1724
01:12:09,712 --> 01:12:11,182
Hey, guys, five-O is here!
1725
01:12:11,215 --> 01:12:12,083
Five-O!
1726
01:12:12,116 --> 01:12:14,285
Come on, let's go,
let's go, let's go!
1727
01:12:14,318 --> 01:12:16,120
Hey! Let's go!
1728
01:12:17,922 --> 01:12:18,355
Go!
1729
01:12:20,657 --> 01:12:21,292
Come on!
1730
01:12:24,829 --> 01:12:26,230
Gilbert, come on!
1731
01:12:29,900 --> 01:12:31,102
Oh, shit!
1732
01:12:34,271 --> 01:12:35,106
What are we gonna do?
1733
01:12:35,139 --> 01:12:37,041
Um, come on.
1734
01:12:37,740 --> 01:12:38,708
Come on, come on.
1735
01:12:38,741 --> 01:12:40,677
Wait for me, wait for me!
1736
01:12:40,710 --> 01:12:42,012
Goddamn it.
1737
01:12:42,046 --> 01:12:43,280
I miss high school parties.
1738
01:12:50,955 --> 01:12:51,922
Yes!
1739
01:12:59,763 --> 01:13:00,764
Let's do this.
1740
01:13:03,733 --> 01:13:04,835
That could use some oil.
1741
01:13:06,736 --> 01:13:08,272
What the fuck is
wrong with the garage door?
1742
01:13:10,007 --> 01:13:11,275
Jesus Christ.
1743
01:13:12,276 --> 01:13:12,843
Look at these...
1744
01:13:12,877 --> 01:13:14,178
Yeah, this is a party.
1745
01:13:25,789 --> 01:13:27,424
That was that fat motherfucker
from Food Mart.
1746
01:13:34,064 --> 01:13:35,833
Right? Right?
1747
01:13:35,866 --> 01:13:37,201
Don't you love the sound of
those sirens?
1748
01:13:37,234 --> 01:13:38,869
Yeah, that's why I'm a cop.
1749
01:13:41,906 --> 01:13:43,107
I'm too young to go to jail,
man.
1750
01:13:43,140 --> 01:13:46,243
Ain't going to jail,
not on my watch.
1751
01:13:50,314 --> 01:13:52,883
- Want some?
- Yeah.
1752
01:13:52,917 --> 01:13:54,985
I fuckin' didn't get to finish
my shit earlier.
1753
01:13:56,453 --> 01:13:58,355
Could I have some of that soda,
please?
1754
01:13:58,389 --> 01:13:59,456
No.
1755
01:14:10,000 --> 01:14:11,468
Oh, hey, did I tell you
I was cutting out dairy?
1756
01:14:11,502 --> 01:14:12,269
Yeah.
1757
01:14:12,303 --> 01:14:13,237
I noticed.
1758
01:14:13,270 --> 01:14:14,104
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1759
01:14:14,138 --> 01:14:15,839
You ask for no cheese
on the burger.
1760
01:14:15,873 --> 01:14:17,041
Yeah, I'm not fuckin' around
anymore, man.
1761
01:14:24,148 --> 01:14:24,915
Goddamn.
1762
01:14:26,984 --> 01:14:28,819
Right? Right?
1763
01:14:33,257 --> 01:14:34,391
What the fuck
are we gonna do now?
1764
01:14:40,864 --> 01:14:43,500
Sorry, kid, shit's about to get
real complicated.
1765
01:14:46,003 --> 01:14:48,405
I will find them and I will kill
them myself.
1766
01:14:50,140 --> 01:14:51,242
It's pretty good.
1767
01:14:55,179 --> 01:14:56,280
Fuck!
1768
01:14:56,313 --> 01:14:58,916
Why would you do that?
1769
01:14:58,949 --> 01:15:00,851
What is your problems, man?
1770
01:15:01,751 --> 01:15:03,287
There's only one way out
of here, man.
1771
01:15:03,320 --> 01:15:04,521
We've got to get creative.
1772
01:15:04,555 --> 01:15:05,856
What you about to do, dumbass?
1773
01:15:05,889 --> 01:15:06,490
I'm sorry.
1774
01:15:07,157 --> 01:15:07,558
Yo.
1775
01:15:07,591 --> 01:15:09,226
Oh, fuck!
1776
01:15:09,260 --> 01:15:10,294
I'm sorry.
1777
01:15:10,327 --> 01:15:11,362
- Why?
- Why?
1778
01:15:11,395 --> 01:15:12,396
- Why?
- Sorry.
1779
01:15:12,429 --> 01:15:13,097
- Why?
- Why?
1780
01:15:13,130 --> 01:15:14,798
- Why?
- I don't know, man.
1781
01:15:14,832 --> 01:15:16,100
I'm sorry, man.
1782
01:15:16,133 --> 01:15:17,501
You just shot me.
1783
01:15:22,940 --> 01:15:24,842
- Why?
- Shit, I don't know, man.
1784
01:15:24,875 --> 01:15:25,976
Why?
1785
01:15:26,010 --> 01:15:27,111
Oh, shit!
1786
01:15:28,279 --> 01:15:29,980
You happy? We've even now.
1787
01:15:30,014 --> 01:15:31,181
Why did you do that?
1788
01:15:31,215 --> 01:15:32,483
I don't know,
I see why you was screaming.
1789
01:15:32,516 --> 01:15:34,318
That shit hurt.
1790
01:15:34,351 --> 01:15:35,519
You got to trust me.
1791
01:15:35,552 --> 01:15:37,521
Let me do the talking.
1792
01:15:37,554 --> 01:15:40,357
Do not say anything
to the fucking cops, okay?
1793
01:15:40,391 --> 01:15:41,458
I mean this shit hurts, man.
1794
01:15:41,492 --> 01:15:42,559
Oh man, I know, nigga!
1795
01:15:42,593 --> 01:15:44,128
I just shot me!
1796
01:15:44,161 --> 01:15:45,429
I know.
1797
01:15:46,163 --> 01:15:49,233
Goddamnit man, I regret this!
1798
01:15:53,003 --> 01:15:53,904
Catch!
1799
01:15:57,608 --> 01:15:58,609
Sorry,
ladies, that concludes the joyride portion
1800
01:15:58,642 --> 01:15:59,576
of your evening.
1801
01:15:59,610 --> 01:16:00,444
It's time to pay the piper.
1802
01:16:00,711 --> 01:16:01,912
Officer, help!
1803
01:16:01,945 --> 01:16:03,180
We've just been shot.
1804
01:16:03,213 --> 01:16:04,181
We need to go to the hospital.
1805
01:16:04,214 --> 01:16:06,617
This... this maniac just
went apeshit on us!
1806
01:16:08,185 --> 01:16:11,021
Told you, inside job.
1807
01:16:11,055 --> 01:16:12,156
You're so good.
1808
01:16:13,290 --> 01:16:16,093
Oh, buddy, you know the drill.
1809
01:16:16,126 --> 01:16:17,027
Gun down on the ground.
1810
01:16:17,061 --> 01:16:18,929
Do it, now!
1811
01:16:18,962 --> 01:16:20,531
Lay down, Apu!
1812
01:16:20,564 --> 01:16:21,498
Do it, now!
1813
01:16:21,532 --> 01:16:22,866
Put the gun on the ground, Apu.
1814
01:16:22,900 --> 01:16:25,436
Do it, now!
1815
01:16:25,469 --> 01:16:26,970
I got a goddamn headache
from that.
1816
01:16:29,506 --> 01:16:32,609
Forgot to give Summer
her favourite chocolate.
1817
01:16:32,643 --> 01:16:35,012
Okay, and who cares?
1818
01:16:35,045 --> 01:16:35,612
It's chocolate.
1819
01:16:35,646 --> 01:16:36,980
She'll live without it.
1820
01:16:37,014 --> 01:16:38,248
Yeah, I guess she will.
1821
01:16:43,220 --> 01:16:44,321
What?
1822
01:16:47,358 --> 01:16:50,294
Neil, I know girls.
1823
01:16:50,327 --> 01:16:53,330
Okay,
you know that I know girls.
1824
01:16:53,364 --> 01:16:56,133
Summer is a normal,
down to earth, girl.
1825
01:16:56,166 --> 01:16:57,368
She doesn't give a shit about
all the bullshit
1826
01:16:57,401 --> 01:16:59,503
you think she cares about.
1827
01:16:59,536 --> 01:17:01,672
And, you know what, Neil?
1828
01:17:01,705 --> 01:17:07,010
As much as I fuckin' hate saying
this, you're kind of funny,
1829
01:17:07,044 --> 01:17:08,579
and you're a super-talented
pervert,
1830
01:17:08,612 --> 01:17:10,047
so just go and fucking
talk to her.
1831
01:17:15,586 --> 01:17:16,487
No fuckin' way.
1832
01:17:16,520 --> 01:17:19,256
Why not? What the fuck is wrong
with you?
1833
01:17:19,289 --> 01:17:20,624
You've literally been beating
off to Summer
1834
01:17:20,657 --> 01:17:22,626
for the past five years.
1835
01:17:22,659 --> 01:17:24,228
I'm not gonna let you give up
now, needle dick.
1836
01:17:24,261 --> 01:17:25,129
Go and talk to her.
1837
01:17:25,162 --> 01:17:26,930
I'm not going back there.
1838
01:17:26,964 --> 01:17:27,664
She's sitting over there
with...
1839
01:17:27,698 --> 01:17:29,233
with shit in her pool right now.
1840
01:17:29,266 --> 01:17:30,334
It's not the right time.
1841
01:17:32,035 --> 01:17:34,037
Can I tell you a secret?
1842
01:17:35,172 --> 01:17:37,975
The right time is now.
1843
01:17:38,008 --> 01:17:39,543
- Jaclyn, stop...
- Now!
1844
01:17:39,576 --> 01:17:41,011
- I can't hit you back.
- Go!
1845
01:17:41,044 --> 01:17:42,179
Stop hitting me.
1846
01:17:42,212 --> 01:17:44,047
Promise to talk to me,
just don't hit me.
1847
01:17:44,681 --> 01:17:46,183
Okay, fine.
1848
01:17:46,216 --> 01:17:47,184
God.
1849
01:17:50,554 --> 01:17:51,989
Just go!
1850
01:17:52,556 --> 01:17:53,424
Fuck!
1851
01:17:53,457 --> 01:17:54,258
Okay.
1852
01:17:55,159 --> 01:17:57,294
Fine!
1853
01:17:57,327 --> 01:17:58,328
Alright, see ya later.
1854
01:18:07,237 --> 01:18:08,605
Fucking clean up my own party.
1855
01:18:08,639 --> 01:18:09,440
Jesus.
1856
01:18:12,409 --> 01:18:13,510
Hey!
1857
01:18:15,646 --> 01:18:17,514
Can I help you?
1858
01:18:17,548 --> 01:18:19,049
No, I live here.
1859
01:18:20,250 --> 01:18:21,518
Can I help you?
1860
01:18:21,552 --> 01:18:23,220
I... it's just...
it's a mess out here,
1861
01:18:23,253 --> 01:18:25,022
so I figured you could use
some help.
1862
01:18:25,055 --> 01:18:27,357
No, I just want to be alone.
1863
01:18:27,391 --> 01:18:28,192
Thanks.
1864
01:18:32,797 --> 01:18:35,666
I brought you a birthday
present.
1865
01:18:38,535 --> 01:18:39,636
Those are my favourite.
1866
01:18:42,172 --> 01:18:42,673
How'd you know?
1867
01:18:42,706 --> 01:18:43,707
Are you stalking me?
1868
01:18:44,575 --> 01:18:46,043
Yeah.
1869
01:18:46,076 --> 01:18:47,744
No, no.
1870
01:18:47,779 --> 01:18:50,714
No, really, I... I mean, like,
I've been through your Instagram
1871
01:18:50,747 --> 01:18:55,052
and ha-harmless online stuff,
but not, uh, not drive-bys
1872
01:18:55,085 --> 01:18:57,087
or anything, anything wild.
1873
01:18:57,721 --> 01:18:58,756
Okay.
1874
01:19:00,624 --> 01:19:03,293
As long as it's just
Instagram stalking.
1875
01:19:06,129 --> 01:19:07,164
Cheers!
1876
01:19:14,238 --> 01:19:17,074
Oh, wow, you got, um,
1877
01:19:17,107 --> 01:19:19,176
you've got like a lot of
chocolate in your teeth.
1878
01:19:19,209 --> 01:19:20,611
Oh!
1879
01:19:20,644 --> 01:19:23,247
It kind of looks like you took
a swim in my pool, Neil.
1880
01:19:23,280 --> 01:19:24,147
Sorry.
1881
01:19:27,251 --> 01:19:29,052
What'd you just call me?
1882
01:19:29,086 --> 01:19:29,787
Neil.
1883
01:19:30,220 --> 01:19:32,222
It's your name, right?
1884
01:19:32,689 --> 01:19:33,724
Um...
1885
01:19:35,692 --> 01:19:36,693
What's wrong?
1886
01:19:44,134 --> 01:19:45,369
What is it?
1887
01:19:47,237 --> 01:19:48,105
Nothing, nothing.
1888
01:19:48,138 --> 01:19:50,707
Um, no I'm fine.
1889
01:19:51,575 --> 01:19:53,143
Mm-kay.
1890
01:19:54,344 --> 01:19:58,682
You know what really pisses me
off about all of this?
1891
01:19:58,715 --> 01:20:00,117
None of this was even for me.
1892
01:20:01,485 --> 01:20:03,287
It was for everyone else,
1893
01:20:03,687 --> 01:20:05,389
because if it was for me
I would have just gone to dinner
1894
01:20:05,422 --> 01:20:06,456
with a bunch of friends.
1895
01:20:07,859 --> 01:20:10,127
Girls really just have it harder
than guys do.
1896
01:20:10,160 --> 01:20:11,361
No offense.
1897
01:20:12,596 --> 01:20:14,231
Because we're always trying to
please people
1898
01:20:14,264 --> 01:20:17,501
and avoid the aggressive
douchebags like Chad
1899
01:20:17,534 --> 01:20:19,536
and this new guy named Ace.
1900
01:20:19,570 --> 01:20:20,404
Hmm.
1901
01:20:20,838 --> 01:20:22,139
Dick.
1902
01:20:22,172 --> 01:20:24,809
I hate dicks, but to be
honest with you,
1903
01:20:24,842 --> 01:20:28,545
sometimes I wish I had one,
a dick, like a bigass dick,
1904
01:20:28,579 --> 01:20:30,147
'cause I think that it would
just make my life
1905
01:20:30,180 --> 01:20:31,181
so much easier.
1906
01:20:31,214 --> 01:20:32,215
A bigass dick.
1907
01:20:34,819 --> 01:20:38,622
I don't know if you need a...
a bigass dick, um.
1908
01:20:38,655 --> 01:20:39,824
I hate bigass dicks.
1909
01:20:39,857 --> 01:20:41,391
I... I hate dicks in general.
1910
01:20:41,425 --> 01:20:45,162
I mean, my crazy sister
always says that
1911
01:20:45,195 --> 01:20:47,230
her gender's always
had it rougher
1912
01:20:47,264 --> 01:20:48,766
because historically
they've been treated
1913
01:20:48,800 --> 01:20:49,801
more poorly, so...
1914
01:20:49,834 --> 01:20:50,367
Hmm.
1915
01:20:50,400 --> 01:20:51,468
I'm-I'm on your side.
1916
01:20:51,501 --> 01:20:52,202
I'm on your team.
1917
01:20:52,235 --> 01:20:52,804
Who needs dicks?
1918
01:20:54,371 --> 01:20:55,305
It's good to know.
1919
01:20:55,339 --> 01:20:56,540
Size doesn't really matter.
1920
01:20:59,710 --> 01:21:00,878
Mm.
1921
01:21:03,815 --> 01:21:05,716
Are you hungry,
1922
01:21:05,749 --> 01:21:08,151
because I know a great place
we could go.
1923
01:21:11,355 --> 01:21:12,924
- There you guys go.
- Yeah, thank you.
1924
01:21:12,957 --> 01:21:15,359
And don't forget that catfish
jelly is really great on it.
1925
01:21:15,392 --> 01:21:16,360
But not too much.
1926
01:21:17,427 --> 01:21:18,161
Neil?
1927
01:21:18,195 --> 01:21:19,162
Hi!
1928
01:21:19,196 --> 01:21:19,897
Hey, Dad.
1929
01:21:19,931 --> 01:21:21,732
Um, this... this is Summer.
1930
01:21:21,766 --> 01:21:22,499
Hi.
1931
01:21:22,532 --> 01:21:24,601
Summer, hey.
1932
01:21:24,635 --> 01:21:26,370
Uh, your girlfriend?
1933
01:21:26,403 --> 01:21:27,905
Nope, nope, just hanging out.
1934
01:21:27,939 --> 01:21:30,908
We've just, uh, we...
we just came for food.
1935
01:21:30,942 --> 01:21:32,676
Oh... okay.
1936
01:21:32,709 --> 01:21:35,545
So a couple of Tobbler Specials
for you maybe, huh?
1937
01:21:35,579 --> 01:21:36,713
Perfect.
1938
01:21:36,747 --> 01:21:37,949
- Sound good?
- Great.
1939
01:21:37,982 --> 01:21:38,950
Okay.
1940
01:21:38,983 --> 01:21:40,384
Oh, and by the way,
1941
01:21:40,417 --> 01:21:42,285
I fixed the lock
on the bathroom door for you,
1942
01:21:42,319 --> 01:21:44,321
so you can stop bitchin'
about that.
1943
01:21:45,555 --> 01:21:46,824
Cool.
1944
01:21:46,858 --> 01:21:47,959
You're gonna get the...
1945
01:21:47,992 --> 01:21:48,760
you we're gonna make the
waffles, right?
1946
01:21:50,828 --> 01:21:52,195
Let me get that, yeah.
1947
01:21:52,229 --> 01:21:52,830
- Whenever you get-
- SUMMER: Thank you.
1948
01:21:52,864 --> 01:21:54,231
Yeah, something special.
1949
01:21:54,264 --> 01:21:55,732
- You're gonna love it.
- Thank you!
1950
01:21:55,767 --> 01:21:57,300
Alright.
1951
01:21:57,334 --> 01:21:59,403
Is the bathroom lock like
a frequent issue for you?
1952
01:21:59,436 --> 01:22:00,905
Oh, no, it's a big problem
in my family, yeah.
1953
01:22:00,938 --> 01:22:04,241
My dad is the most embarrassing
person, uh, in the world.
1954
01:22:04,274 --> 01:22:06,610
- He was sweet. He loves you.
- His goal. His goal.
1955
01:22:06,643 --> 01:22:07,544
Oh, my God, are you kidding?
1956
01:22:07,577 --> 01:22:08,679
I wish my parents would
embarrass me.
1957
01:22:08,712 --> 01:22:11,515
All they want from me is for
me to go into medicine,
1958
01:22:11,548 --> 01:22:13,985
which is like fifteen years
of torture.
1959
01:22:14,018 --> 01:22:17,354
So I'm gonna take a year off
and travel around the world
1960
01:22:17,387 --> 01:22:19,423
and then do the cliché
backpacking across Europe
1961
01:22:19,456 --> 01:22:21,391
to find myself.
1962
01:22:21,425 --> 01:22:22,459
The world?
1963
01:22:22,492 --> 01:22:25,863
That, uh, that's...
that's ambitious.
1964
01:22:25,897 --> 01:22:27,364
Thank God for FaceTime.
1965
01:22:28,498 --> 01:22:29,599
Why?
1966
01:22:29,633 --> 01:22:33,403
You know, so we can, uh,
keep in touch
1967
01:22:33,437 --> 01:22:35,873
and look at
each other's faces.
1968
01:22:40,477 --> 01:22:41,445
Well, what about you?
1969
01:22:42,980 --> 01:22:44,314
- With my life?
- Yeah.
1970
01:22:45,950 --> 01:22:49,653
I... I don't know.
1971
01:22:50,353 --> 01:22:51,956
That's so hot.
1972
01:22:51,989 --> 01:22:54,458
Nothing gets me going more than
a guy with no direction.
1973
01:22:57,762 --> 01:22:59,629
Uh, well I got a...
I got a scholarship to Cal Arts,
1974
01:22:59,663 --> 01:23:03,433
and I, I love to draw,
but I just don't... I don't think
1975
01:23:03,467 --> 01:23:06,971
I can make money
with my style of drawing.
1976
01:23:07,004 --> 01:23:08,405
Hmm.
1977
01:23:08,438 --> 01:23:10,007
The scholarship is amazing.
1978
01:23:10,041 --> 01:23:13,677
Plus I see you drawing on your
iPad all the time at school.
1979
01:23:13,710 --> 01:23:15,980
You... you notice me drawing?
1980
01:23:16,013 --> 01:23:18,281
We've been going to school
together for years.
1981
01:23:18,315 --> 01:23:19,382
I'm not blind.
1982
01:23:23,054 --> 01:23:24,454
Can I see your drawings?
1983
01:23:25,355 --> 01:23:26,356
No.
1984
01:23:26,991 --> 01:23:30,762
No, I just-I just, I don't
show them to anyone,
1985
01:23:30,795 --> 01:23:33,831
'cause they're sort of X-rated
and they...
1986
01:23:33,865 --> 01:23:35,432
they might make me come off
as a psycho.
1987
01:23:35,465 --> 01:23:36,666
Stop being such a fucking pussy.
1988
01:23:36,700 --> 01:23:38,635
Just show it to me.
1989
01:23:38,668 --> 01:23:39,636
You'd freak out.
1990
01:23:39,669 --> 01:23:40,772
I would not freak out.
1991
01:23:40,805 --> 01:23:41,773
You would freak out.
1992
01:23:41,806 --> 01:23:44,842
What about me says that
I'm gonna freak out?
1993
01:23:44,876 --> 01:23:46,778
You promise you won't freak out?
1994
01:23:46,811 --> 01:23:48,445
Swear on my life!
1995
01:23:58,388 --> 01:23:59,791
Promise, you promise?
1996
01:23:59,824 --> 01:24:01,491
Oh, yes, I promise. I promise,
I promise, I promise...
1997
01:24:17,641 --> 01:24:19,309
Can I ask you a personal
question, Jimmy?
1998
01:24:19,811 --> 01:24:20,778
Hmm?
1999
01:24:22,379 --> 01:24:23,848
What does pussy feel like?
2000
01:24:25,817 --> 01:24:27,985
Like putting your dick in some
mashed potatoes.
2001
01:24:29,153 --> 01:24:30,087
Hmm.
2002
01:24:31,388 --> 01:24:32,556
Yeah.
2003
01:24:33,858 --> 01:24:35,358
Can I tell you something?
2004
01:24:35,392 --> 01:24:36,459
Mm-hmm.
2005
01:24:38,830 --> 01:24:40,932
It's been the best birthday
I ever had, man.
2006
01:24:43,600 --> 01:24:44,701
I'm sorry.
2007
01:24:45,970 --> 01:24:47,104
It's okay.
2008
01:24:59,749 --> 01:25:01,018
I've just, uh,
2009
01:25:01,052 --> 01:25:04,621
had a crush on
you for a... a really...
2010
01:25:04,654 --> 01:25:07,024
Neil, just shut up and kiss me
and finger me simultaneously.
2011
01:25:11,595 --> 01:25:14,564
You're...
fucking with me right now.
2012
01:25:14,598 --> 01:25:16,100
Yes, I'm fucking with you.
2013
01:25:16,133 --> 01:25:17,768
- See I knew that.
- You sick porn twisted boy!
2014
01:25:17,802 --> 01:25:18,501
I know, I know.
2015
01:25:18,535 --> 01:25:19,203
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2016
01:25:19,237 --> 01:25:20,537
Who the fuck talks like that?
2017
01:25:20,570 --> 01:25:22,139
I know, I... didn't,
I don't even...
2018
01:25:22,173 --> 01:25:25,843
I have never used the word pussy
that many times in my life.
2019
01:25:25,877 --> 01:25:29,646
Jesus, you really know
how to make a girl swoon.
2020
01:25:29,679 --> 01:25:32,549
You know I was gonna invite you
to my birthday party.
2021
01:25:32,582 --> 01:25:33,583
Really?
2022
01:25:33,617 --> 01:25:35,086
Yeah.
2023
01:25:35,119 --> 01:25:39,090
But then you puked on me
in front of everyone, so.
2024
01:25:39,123 --> 01:25:39,891
Yeah.
2025
01:25:39,924 --> 01:25:41,424
Uh...
2026
01:25:42,894 --> 01:25:43,995
Sorry about that.
2027
01:25:47,899 --> 01:25:49,000
I actually don't...
2028
01:25:49,033 --> 01:25:50,167
I actually don't watch
that much porn.
2029
01:25:50,201 --> 01:25:50,868
- I just...
- You don't?
2030
01:25:50,902 --> 01:25:52,669
- No.
- Well, 'cause I do.
2031
01:25:54,138 --> 01:25:55,973
- You do?
- Yeah.
2032
01:25:57,507 --> 01:25:59,944
I can give you passwords.
2033
01:25:59,977 --> 01:26:02,013
You are so much more fucked up
than I thought you'd be.
2034
01:26:05,950 --> 01:26:07,985
Which actually makes
you kind of...
2035
01:26:12,722 --> 01:26:13,758
Kind of... kind of what?
2036
01:26:15,793 --> 01:26:17,094
Cool.
2037
01:26:28,672 --> 01:26:29,907
Cool.
2038
01:27:47,051 --> 01:27:50,121
I don't understand why I'm the
one with handcuffs right now?
2039
01:27:50,154 --> 01:27:52,123
I don't see any bullet holes
in you, Apu.