The underdog Saints
and the favorites, the Colts, locked in a tight one in the second half.
If Peyton Manning can't come up with something here,
the Saints are going to walk away with their first Super Bowl victory.
It's a resilient football team, this New Orleans Saints.
They just have some toughness that they've shown all year.
And I'll tell you, Super Bowl week,
they weren't out playing patty-cake gettin' ready for this game.
They practiced hard.
Let's go! Let's go! Hut!
It's picked off! It's picked off!
It's Tracy Porter again! He's running free!
He's gonna go all the way!
Hands outstretched! It is a Saint touchdown!
Seventy yards on the return!
For the first time ever,
the New Orleans Saints are the world champions.
It's time for the presentation of the Lombardi trophy.
Coach Payton, what does it feel like to be holding that trophy?
Nobody thought we had a chance when I came to New Orleans.
Nobody thought we had a chance entering this season.
Nobody thought we had a chance entering this game. It feels pretty good.
I'll bet it does, Coach.
But, for the record, I believed in you,
and I believed in this team from the very start.
I don't remember you saying that.
I didn't share that opinion publicly, but I said it a few times around my house.
Okay.
You can get going now.
You got it, Coach.
Hey, come on in.
Hey, Coach, um, I was just wondering--
Get me a piece of Juicy Fruit.
Okay, is that code for something?
Yeah, it's code for "I-I like the taste of gum."
Get it.
-You need something? -Uh, yeah.
Uh, Mr. Good-all is on the phone. Line one.
Roger Goodell on the phone? The commissioner.
Uh, he didn't say what his job was.
Roger.
The National Football League,
an American institution and ten billion-dollar-a-year industry,
is caught up in one of its biggest scandals.
The New Orleans Saints paying players to injure opponents on the field.
He condoned a bounty system.
He lied about it to the NFL's faces.
As a head coach,
you need to be held accountable and responsible.
Coach Payton has been suspended for a year.
How much contact can he have with the team?
The league has told me Sean Payton's
not to have any communication that relates to coaching activity.
Okay, so you're out in front of it.
Then why is it all over the news, huh? They're throwing me to the wolves. You--
It cannot be condoned…
Well, just fix it. All right? Do your job!
Payton should be gone for the year.
You know what I think when people say they didn't do enough?
You did nothing. All these guys deserve what they got.
-Watch the line. -On your feet, everyone. Let's go.
Hey, Coach Bizone is here.
I'm sorry I'm late, guys. Freaking chain.
-Cool bike. You get it for Christmas? -No. It was my neighbor's. He died.
Oh, I'm sorry for your loss. No kickstand, Coach?
It didn't come with one. That's why you lean.
Coach Bizone taught us something. It only took three seasons.
All right. That's enough. That's enough. Take a lap.
Who, me?
No, Mitch, not you. Them. Go. Let's go.
Okay, good. I don't take a lap for nobody.
You get out of here too.
All right, let's get going, guys.
All right, Warriors.
Uh…
It was a good practice, right?
Marcos, way to hustle. The rest of you, um…
Yeah. You know?
Remember, game is tomorrow at two o'clock.
Wait. Two? I thought it was four.
Come on. It was four last week 'cause it was an away game.
Tomorrow's at two because we're playing at home.
Wait, who did we lose to last week?
I forget. It was the team with the orange helmets and the swords.
Could've been the Vikings, the Romans, or the Knights.
-The Blacksmiths. -Thanks, Paulie.
Marcos, count us out.
All right. Come on! Come in here, baby!
Come on, come on! Hype up, hype up!
-My body hurts. -All right.
Ready? One, two--
Warriors!
I got you, Coach.
Hello, and how are we tonight?
Uh, good, I guess. Not sure why I even drove out here.
-Are you staying with us tonight? -Yeah, what do you have available?
Let's see. All we have left is our presidential suite.
Great. I'll take it.
Ah.
It's $125 a night.
That's fine.
Do you know how long you're gonna be staying?
Mm, not sure.
Because I have to put in a check-out date in the computer. That's how it works.
Let's just say three nights.
If you stay four nights, you can get the fifth free.
-Fine, four nights. -So you don't want the fifth night?
Why don't you tell me how many nights I should stay?
I'm not allowed to do that, sir.
Then let's go with five, as long as the fifth night isn't more of this.
Thank you for that thoughtful answer.
And with the blue and white Warriors losing by 34 points,
here comes Harlan Haire for the field goal.
-There's our boy, number 44. -There he is. Go, Connor!
-Let's go, Connor! -Connor!
Harlan, you okay?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Hut!
-My butthole!
This is nice, huh?
I'm feeling kind of dumb wearing this, Jamie.
It's cozy.
Our combined body heat's actually melting the M&M's in my trail mix.
Baby, everyone is staring at us.
They're not staring at us.
They're staring at your ex-husband.
Sean?
What are you doin' here?
Hey. It's nice to see you too.
I didn't mean it like that. Like, "What are you doin' here?"
I meant it like, "It's nice to see you, but what are you doin' here?"
Just came to watch my son play.
It's nice to meet you. I'm a little nervous.
I've only seen you on TV
and in the pictures that your ex-wife threw away of you.
I'm Jamie, Beth's new husband.
Oh. Sean.
Sorry about the chocolate. Um…
Just awkward, you know.
This is your Snuggie, and you're…
Don't be awkward.
I'm just happy, uh, Beth found someone to Snuggie with.
What the heck was that, ref? Come on!
These kids are 12 years old!
What are we teaching them about violence and conflict resolution?
That's another touchdown for the Vikings.
I'm guessing we're not the Vikings.
That'll do it.
Seems like the Warriors are gonna save on some electricity yet again.
What's with that?
Once a team gets up by 40, they turn off the scoreboard. Game over.
Kind of put an end to the trauma pain fest.
Big football fan, Jamie?
I'm, uh, more of a fan of my stepson.
-That's why I'm here.
Hi, Con.
-What are you doing here? -Wow. Glad everybody's happy to see me.
Oh, he didn't mean it like that. Did you, honey?
I just came here to do some scouting.
You never can find good prospects too early.
Hey, you, uh, you played a great game out there.
We lost zero to 40.
No, no, I mean, you. You were personally great.
You can't help it if all your teammates are horrible.
No, no. He was… he was good too. Couple of good guys.
Couple of horrible ones.
Listen, I was just hoping to get some time together.
Maybe we can catch up, you know?
Good game, Connor.
Hey, we're having a barbecue tomorrow with some of Connor's teammates.
Why don't you come by?
-All right. Yeah, that sounds good. -Okay.
It's at three o'clock. I'm doing some interesting things with saffron.
The scoreboard thing is tough, huh?
The league don't want the boys to feel too bad about themselves.
I think it makes 'em feel worse.
-Definitely doesn't feel great.
You did a nice job out there, Coach.
Thanks. We're getting there. Troy Lambert.
Hey, Troy, I'm Sean. Sean--
I know who you are. Connor's a fine young man.
Well, his mom did a great job.
That she did. It was a pleasure meeting you.
Okay.
Hey, Sean.
How you doing? Mitch Bizone. I'm Connor's coach.
Well, assistant coach. But, still, you know, we're all part of the team.
Uh, anyway, um, I-I hope I'm not out of line here,
but, uh, I am really sorry about everything that's been goin' on with you.
I mean, I've been seein' everything all over the news.
It's all good. Thank you.
Bountygate!
Yep. That's what they're callin' it.
Yep. Newspapers, radio…
-It's online too. -Yep, I know.
-You know, the Internet-- -I know what the Internet is.
Yep. Bountygate.
-Everyone's talking about it. -Okay.
-You okay on that thing? -All good.
Front desk. Eric speaking.
Yeah, uh, could you send, uh, maintenance up here?
Uh, turn this Jacuzzi off. It's making a lot of noise.
Oh, it's not on. It's just the filter.
Okay, well, how do we get rid of the noise?
Most guests find the sound soothing, sir.
I find it aggravating.
Okay, I could bring you up a fan to counter the noise.
But then, wouldn't I hear the fan?
Very much so.
Sean, so glad you could make it. Come on in.
I wanna shake the hand that shook the hand of Drew Brees.
-There you go. All right? -So are you gonna be our new coach?
-We need you. Like, we really need you. -We suck so bad.
Sadly, it's true.
If we didn't have Marcos, we'd be the worst team in the league.
We are the worst team.
But, Brian, can you imagine how bad we'd be without Marcos?
Hell yeah! I'm blowing up, man. And I'm not gonna be here long.
-Lucky to have me. -Tell you what.
You hang on to that confidence.
And the rest of you, listen to your coach. Coach Troy and Coach Bizone.
-That's what you do. -Coach Bizone.
Bizone.
-What's with Coach? -He keeps drinking too much coach's juice.
He doesn't think we know, but he got his license taken away four years ago.
Says the bike's part of a fitness regimen.
Hey, where's Connor?
Oh, he's still downstairs.
All right, boys. Food's ready outside.
Hey, Con.
-Our boy doesn't talk much, does he? -Can you blame him?
-You missed a lot, Sean. -I understand.
But that's… That's why I'm here.
That's great, but it's gonna take some time.
Let's go.
Where's your helmets?
Helmets.
-New Orleans Saints. Emma. I-It's Emma, right?
Listen, it's Coach Payton. I'm trying to get through.
I need to get to the, uh, new defensive coordinator.
Mm, I'm not allowed to be talking to you. No contact.
Well, first of all, this is nothing official, all right?
We're just two friends talking. That's all we're doing.
Yeah, I'm so sorry. I don't wanna get in trouble. Bye!
Emma. Emma! Uh, Emma! Emily?
Was it Emily?
I think it was Emily.
Connor, you've got outside contained. Don't… don't guess.
-Let's run it again.
Hey, Coach, my boy's Paulie, the center.
You got any pointers, you just pipe right on up.
-He needs all the help he can get. -Sure thing.
Take a look at him. He's good.
He's not great, but he's good.
Pretty good. He's okay. See what you can do with him.
Try that if you want to.
Connor, Harlan, you guys up for some vegan ice cream?
It tastes just like regular ice cream.
As long as you've never eaten regular ice cream.
Try it?
Come on!
It's made with green tea, banana leaves.
-You'll love it. -Sure.
It's a new hemp ice cream place. Gonna close in two weeks.
I guarantee it. Come on in.
Any one of you guys got any cash? Your dad give you a credit card?
Wait, you want me to pay?
-Who this? -I'm sorry. Uh, what's up, man?
Nothing. I'm just saying, "Who this."
Okay.
Black and gold, baby.
Argh! Son of a… Not again.
Stupid, cheap chain.
Freaking…
-Another tie.
Front desk.
Okay. Well, now the Jacuzzi filter won't stop babbling.
Sounds like a guy that doesn't know when to shut up.
Oh, no, no, Mr. Payton.
Those voices you're hearing are from the Jacuzzi in our royal suite.
-You guys have a royal suite? Oh, yeah.
There's some fellows in there from SMU.
Let me know if they get too loud. I'll bring up a fan.
Tell you what. Bring up a toaster. We can end it all. Sound good?
All right. See you then.
Set! Down!
Blue, white! Blue, white!
Hut!
Marcos drops back.
Makes the throw, and it sails way over Brian's head.
And the Warriors blow yet another chance to score in the red zone.
The Knights will now take possession.
It's over! Step up.
This guy's got all day.
Get it, get it! Come on!
-Time-out.
Come on, guys.
Hey, Payton, two more points, then it's lights out.
This quarterback's unstoppable.
No. The QB doesn't check his blind side when he drops into the pocket.
They should just bring the safeties.
Where's he going?
Hopefully he's gonna teach 'em to cheat. We're getting killed out there.
Oh. Coach, did you see that? Some punk just threw my visor.
-Huddle up. Let's go. -Who? Point him out. I'll snap his neck.
All right, guys. It's that time of the game.
We can't let 'em score here.
I want all you d-backs to drop into coverage, okay?
Actually, not… not all of you.
We're gonna blitz.
Linebacker blitz?
Safety blitz.
From the right?
From the left? Weak side safety blitz.
You heard… Yeah. Weak side safety blitz, all right, guys.
Let's go get 'em. Come on! Come on!
Let's do this. Come on, guys.
Is this the one? Say you're sorry to the man for throwing his visor.
-Sorry. -It's not him!
You can't grab people by the neck.
It's fine. It's my nephew.
Son of a…
Uncle Mitch, you're the worst.
You're an embarrassment to the family tree.
I'll pedal over to your mama's house.
You're gonna be on time-out for, like, a month and a half.
Little punk-ass.
Blind 38! Blind 38!
Oh, and it's a fumble.
Connor Payton picks it up.
Oh my God! Can you believe this? Can you believe this?
He's at the 20. He's at the ten.
Oh my God! Touchdown, Warriors!
-Connor! -Connor!
-That was our guy!
First touchdown of the season!
And just as the game comes to an end.
That was a touchdown! A real touchdown!
Take it easy. Act like you've been here.
Fully happened!
Folks, that'll do it.
Final score here, Warriors, 6. Knights, 38.
Boys, boys, boys! Hey! Everybody, take a look over there. You see what I see?
Electricity!
One, two, three, Warriors!
This is a Manhattan?
At J.D. McGilligan's, our middle name is "Fun."
Well, if that's true, shouldn't it be "J.F. McGilligan's?"
I'll ask Mr. McGilligan.
Okay. I'm… I'm gonna change this into a Lone Star? How about that?
Actually, make that two Lone Stars.
I hope you didn't mind me butting in like that.
Mind? That was our first touchdown all year.
Tough year, huh?
Look, they're great kids.
And they're not untalented.
No, I know. I see speed.
They're eager to learn. They've got a good attitude.
-Yeah. -You know.
Yeah. They just…
They need some better plays to run and maybe a little motivation.
That's why I'm fixin' to get a whistle around your neck.
Oh, right.
Oh, you're serious?
No… no pressure. Uh, we'd… we'd love to have you.
I don't know how long I'm gonna be here, 'cause I'm appealing my suspension.
I'm hoping to be back at work before the season starts.
You miss it?
I really don't know anything else, you know.
I mean, being a head coach of an NFL team is like going a hundred miles an hour,
365 days a year.
Look, I figured.
I mean, I've been coaching your son since peewee league.
I just met you last week.
Another reason I don't want a whistle. I'm not even sure Connor would like it.
Look, being Sean Payton's son ain't easy.
Not for a kid playing football in Texas.
Hell, my dad coached our local high school team,
and I never lived it down.
You won the damn Super Bowl.
-I never pushed him to play. -No, but he did.
And it may be easier on him,
and you, and, frankly, me
if you were on that field with us every day.
Come on! Get off the wall!
My chain now, McGilligan.
You do need help.
Hey, you got any more bagels back there?
Um, no.
Well, what about those right there?
Oh, yeah, those are for my wife.
She's pregnant.
This is your first?
No, it's my third. I've been nibbling all morning.
I meant kids.
Oh. Yeah, it's my first.
Hey, listen, I'm, uh, gonna extend my stay.
-How long? -I'm not doin' this again with you.
Just extend it, okay?
Now, you guys got a copy machine? I'm gonna need 23 copies of this.
Oh, technically it's self-service.
I got you, Mr. Payton.
-Got anything I can spread this jelly on? -There's some hard-boiled eggs over there.
I didn't say the worst thing you could spread jelly on.
You didn't say the best.
God.
What are you doing?
What was I doing?
Transcendental Meditation.
It's where I repeat a mantra to myself
until I reach a deeper state of consciousness.
Hmm. What's a mantra?
A mantra is a word or a phrase or even a noise that you repeat
and it helps you focus and clear your mind.
You know, we could meditate together,
and clear our minds and share memories and feelings.
-Isn't that cool? -Well, like what?
I could tell you about the time when I was in college
and I was backpacking through Asia.
I thought for sure they were all women.
-Jamie. -Yes?
Connor shouldn't be hearing about that at his age.
But he's… he's not hearing. He's feeling.
That's even worse.
Oh, that must be your dad. He's gonna take you to practice today.
What?
He called this morning and asked if he could take you.
Why didn't you say no?
I think it'll be good for you guys to connect and get some one-on-one time.
Well, I don't want any one-on-one time with him.
-I'm not going to practice. -Yeah, skip practice.
Stay here. I'll share with you the time I was in a bathhouse
with ten sumo wrestlers.
-These guys prune up everywhere. -All right. I'll go. I'll go.
Any music you like?
You still into country?
You know where you're going?
The only place I've been other than my hotel for the last week?
Yeah, I got an idea.
I meant from my house.
You know I used to live there, right? Before the dream catchers and salt lamps.
I've been told.
So,
guess who the new offensive coordinator for the Warriors is?
How did that happen?
Coach Troy asked me,
and I thought it'd be cool because we'll get to hang.
Hang?
Yeah. What we're doing right now. Hangin'.
It's tough enough right now with you just in the bleachers.
You know what Paulie's dad said about you?
I don't give a crap about what Paulie's dad thinks.
Maybe I do.
Hell yeah, I want stuffed crust. What kind of question's that?
Paulie, are you seriously ordering a pizza right now?
We're about to practice.
Ordering it now so it gets here at the peak of my hunger.
I don't care. Hang up the phone.
All right, Warriors. Our season hasn't got off to the best start.
What are you talking about? We scored a touchdown.
All right. All right. True, but we did still lose 38 to 6.
Wow, killing the vibe, Coach.
Look, I know each of y'all are doing your best, okay?
We just need somethin' to pull it all together. A new voice.
Is Mr. Payton gonna be our new coach?
Coach Payton is gonna be our new offensive coordinator.
-Okay. -How about that?
Our defense sucks too.
Thank you.
Look, I want you boys to treat Mr. Payton with the same respect you treat me.
Oh, oh, we can do better than that.
But to clarify, Coach Payton is third in line.
In other words, if Coach Troy were the president,
I'd be the vice president.
And if Coach Troy happened to get assassinated,
I'd take over.
Coach Payton would then become the vice president.
Um, what happens if both of you guys got shot?
Well, I think they'd, uh, cancel. I don't think we could play that game.
Okay, that's good to know. Guys, let's line up.
-Hey, when I tell my guys to line up,
the last one there, he'd be running stairs till sundown.
Gentlemen, it's about speed.
So if you don't got it, you better hurry up and get it.
Now, on my count,
we're gonna run to that 40-yard line as fast as you can.
You said, "On my count."
How many Mississippis is that gonna be?
How about this?
One, two, three, four.
Congratulations. You four just became our new wide receivers.
Let's get those pads on. Let's get to work. Come on.
Get over that. Go, go, go, go!
Keep goin'.
Whoa! Slow down there, buddy.
Drop them hips down.
What happened here?
Quick feet, quick feet!
Quick shoes. I like that.
There you go. All right, come on.
-Full rush, let me see it. Set, hit!
Nice. Okay, Nate, all right, let me see that spin.
Set, hit!
We'll get it, okay?
Hey, Mitch.
-That's what you get! -Bizone is down!
-All right. -Thanks.
There you go, Harlan. You got a great leg.
What's happenin' during the game?
This is practice. No pressure in practice.
That's your problem. You know what the pros do?
They put all the pressure on during practice
so that when the game comes along, there's none left.
Paulie, how you doing at center?
It doesn't matter. I'm just playing so my dad can relive his glory days.
If you're not happy by end of the season, I'll talk to him. How's that sound?
-Really? -Yep, but I'm not gonna have to.
Everybody, listen up.
The only reason to play football is to have fun.
And the only way to have fun
is to win.
And the only way to win
is with this.
A new playbook?
Whoa!
Awesome!
Are these real NFL plays?
Oh my God!
We'll be winning the championship.
-How can they stop us? -Whoa!
Look at Page 16.
I see you made a few minor changes.
It's upside down. Just turn it.
-Oh. -Yeah.
Got it.
Yeah. The base is all there. I just expanded on it, that's all.
Listen, I want you to study them, take 'em home with you tonight.
-Keep 'em with you at all times. -Yes, sir.
All right.
What play is this?
Mr. Coach Payton. Cindy Jenkins, Dennis's mom.
-Nice to meet you. -I wanna talk to you about Dennis.
Whatever position I asked him to play, that's what he's playing for a while.
I don't care what position he's playin' as long as he's playin' football.
I just don't want you goin' easy on him. That little peanut needs toughenin' up.
I treat all my players the same. Always have.
It's just Dennis is so nice and sweet.
This is Texas, Coach. That won't fly.
-Sounds like a job for Dennis's dad. -Oh, he's out the picture.
He went out to Meineke for a new muffler in 2007 and never came back.
All right, well, I'm sorry about that.
Listen, come on over to the house.
Run some drills with him, maybe me. I'll make dinner.
It's awful nice of you, but, uh, it's not necessary.
Well, how many nights in a row can you eat at J.D. McGilligan's?
I'm making gumbo.
Please, for Dennis.
All right, fine, but for now, I got a game to get ready for, so…
-You do you, baby. -Mm-hmm.
Got a girlfriend!
New Orleans Saints, huh?
I was a hell of a running back myself.
In '86, I was the man.
I scored a touchdown with four defenders on my back.
Blown out knee, blown out ankle,
severe jock itch, a cavity,
everybody still on my back,
helped a woman have a baby,
scored the touchdown,
did my touchdown dance,
and came home to save my mama from a heart attack.
Gus, keep your eyes on the road.
Still got the jock itch though.
With the Rams leading 6-0,
they have the ball on the Warriors' 45-yard line.
Second down with three yards to go for the first down.
Come on, Dennis!
Go, Dennis!
Mama!
-Did Dennis just fall down? -Yeah, he doesn't like contact.
Does he know he's playin' football?
Hey, uh, Dennis, come here.
So you, uh… you wanna tackle that guy, huh?
I mean, I did. Then I didn't.
Coach Troy and I have been thinking about it,
and we're gonna move you to fullback.
Fullback? I-I can't play fullback. Everyone's gonna try and hit me.
Well, you better make sure that they don't.
That was good. Some real sports psychology right there.
Yeah, a little bit.
What you got in there?
Uh, it's for my…
It's for my, uh, skin condition.
Yeah.
I want 42 long, I-formation, wideout trips, all right? Go, go, go, go!
All right, huddle up, uh…
42 long, I-formation wide, something, something.
-Wait. Am I the formation? -Who's number 42?
-Dennis, we're on offense. -They told me to come.
-Where am I supposed to line up? -You're the center.
Right.
Didn't any of you study the plays?
My dad didn't even understand these plays.
-Everyone, just go long. -Okay, ready?
Ready!
Watch that pass! Watch that pass!
Set! Set!
Blue, white. Blue, white. Hut!
-Whoa! -Uh, thanks.
Way to go, Coach.
Good job, good job.
Marcos, nice throw.
All right. Hey, good first half.
Some minor adjustments, all right? Marcos.
Coach.
You are the most talented player on our team.
-Too true. -Don't remind him.
-Second most talented.
Focus up, boys. Listen. You're not a quarterback.
-We're moving you to running back. -I'll do both. I could do it all.
You can't play QB and running back at the same time.
All good. Whatever the team needs, baby.
Okay. What did you call me?
-Coach. -That's what I thought.
-Brian, you're new starting quarterback. -Yes!
Finally! You can all suck it.
Brian, you know in the NFL, when the linemen don't like the QB,
you know what they do? They let the defense through.
Sorry, everybody. I'll suck it.
Yeah!
Okay, guys, let's go.
Everybody else, you're in the same positions.
Let's get some effort. A little energy. Let's go!
Sure about doing this at halftime?
What we were doing wasn't workin'. We gotta adjust.
I don't wanna adjust these kids into the emergency room.
They'll be fine.
They can barely play the positions they've been playing all year.
They're all in different places. That's good?
He switched it all up.
Dennis, I think you're over here.
-Why ain't Marcos the quarterback? -I don't know.
Ready. Set. Go!
Now that could not have been an actual play.
Maybe we go back to the old, dumb, peewee playbook for the rest of the game.
I know this is like buildin' an airplane while you're flyin' it, but trust me.
Yeah, more like crappin' in a rainstorm when you're buildin' an outhouse.
-That doesn't make sense. -Neither do these plays, Troy.
Let's get you some water. Come on, come on.
Let's go. Field goal unit.
What the hell is he lookin' at?
Harlan.
Hike.
My butthole!
Come on!
Hey, Payton!
You can't just switch everything up. This ain't no merry-go-round.
What you doin'? Marcos has been a quarterback his whole life.
He'll be a running back for the rest of it.
Are you blind? My boy's got a cannon.
He's the best player on the team besides Paulie.
He's more of an asset as a running back.
He's not one of your assets. He's my son, and he's a quarterback.
Here's the thing.
I'm here to win games,
not make you feel better about what position your son's playing.
So stay in the stands with the parents,
and I'll be on the sidelines with the coaches.
Guys, give it a chance, please.
I think we're, uh, finished here, fellas, for the day.
The bus is full anyway.
Man, I expected today to go better.
Yeah, we're worse than we were before he showed up.
I thought this guy was supposed to be some type of Super Bowl-winning coach.
Yeah, and we scored a touchdown without him.
Yeah.
All right, boys, listen up.
I know it might not have felt like it, but I saw a lot of improvement out there.
As soon as we get a handle on these new plays,
we're gonna turn things around real quick.
Yeah, um, Coach, I don't think any of us understand the new plays.
What? Who's having trouble with the playbook?
It looks unanimous.
Gotta line up here. I want everybody hip-to-hip here.
I don't want any space here. People were getting through here.
Salt shaker right there… Okay?
We gotta get set up here.
Connor, Jason, you are our tortilla chips.
That means, Dennis and Marcos, you're our lime wedges. You're right here.
-Which makes our hot sauce… That's Brian. -Brian's more of a napkin.
We're going green right formation. That's our initial formation. You with me?
Yes, Coach. Yeah.
Great. Okay. Now we have our X chip on the side here, and our Z--
-Where's the Z chip? What did you do? -Sorry.
All right. Okay, here we go.
We got our Z chip here, but we're gonna send our Z chip in motion.
Now we have both wide receivers on this side.
Once they cross the line of scrimmage, they cut right, which means our hot sauce…
-I drop back and fake it to the lime. -Yes.
I'm the lime. I pretend to get the ball and block?
Yeah.
-Jason and I cut to the right. -I throw it to the open tortilla chip.
Yes! There you go!
Now let's go with X whip.
We're gonna do the same thing, but we're not linin' up that way.
We'll bring this chip here. Don't eat it.
Hey, Coach, what if a cupcake tries to attack 'em?
-You're afraid of a cupcake now? -Cupcakes sound good.
-Can I see a dessert menu?
You get that first step, you're up the sideline, you know?
It's all you.
You gonna stick around for the rest of the season?
Well, if I win my appeal, I'll probably… I'll probably have to go back.
Con,
it's my job.
-I wish you guys were closer. -Why can't you be closer?
Coach the Cowboys. Dallas is, like, 45 minutes away.
'Cause Dallas already has a coach.
Look,
I know this hasn't been easy.
No, you don't.
What do you mean?
What is it, Con?
People always ask me about you.
And most of the time, I have to just make it up, because…
I don't know you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, C-Connor, look, I'm here.
I'm here now.
You can ask me anything.
What do you wanna know?
What made you decide to go for the onside kick in the Super Bowl?
That's a good question.
Sometimes to succeed, you need to do the unexpected.
That's what I did with that onside kick. I knew it would surprise 'em, and it did.
Any other questions?
Did you do it?
Do what?
What happened with your team.
It's complicated, Connor.
But look, at the end of the day, I'm the head coach,
so I-I-I've gotta be the one to take responsibility.
If you're taking responsibility, then why are you appealing?
Wow.
That's another good question.
I don't know. I guess…
I couldn't see myself being away from football for another year.
Well, you're not away from it anymore, I guess.
You gonna pick me up for practice tomorrow?
Assuming Coach Troy doesn't fire me.
Nine seconds left. We're down by two. This is it. This is our season.
We make it or break it right here. We got time for one more play.
And this is how we define ourselves. We gotta decide who do we want to be?
-Paulie, pay attention! -Y-Yes, Coach.
Here's where we're goin'. We're gonna go turbo stack, green four. Okay?
-What? -Two limes. One hot sauce.
-Bring the queso? -Bring the queso, guys!
Yeah!
Let's go!
Go, seven!
Let's go!
Get down! Go, baby! Go!
Down, set, go!
Get it. You got it. Yeah!
Come on, Marcos.
Go, go, go, go, go, go! Go, go!
Jamie, we won! We won!
-We won our first game! -We won!
Way to go, man.
Over here! I'm open!
Ah, so this is what it feels like to win.
-Next stop, championship! -Yeah!
Don't get ahead of yourself, Jason.
No, no, no. I like the energy. Hey, listen up, everybody.
Hey, you guys earned this, okay? Enjoy it.
I want you to carry this feeling to the next game.
Yeah!
Hi. We're getting a lot of complaints.
About what?
The noise. Splashing noises, mostly, with some yelling.
Who complained?
Uh, hotel people.
What hotel people?
Uh…
No one complained, did they, Eric?
No.
Why are you upset about the noise?
It's bumming me out that you guys get to swim and I have to work.
Well, why don't you take a break and swim with us?
-Really? -Absolutely.
That would be great! Do you think it'd be okay if I swam in my underwear?
-I think that would be inappropriate. -Oh.
Hey, do you work here?
I do.
Someone got their hand stuck in the ice machine.
Oh.
We've all been there.
Hey, good move.
Connor, go deep.
Warriors!
Dennis, don't turn around.
Oh my God, Connor Payton recovers!
Come on. Come on.
Whoa!
Yes!
That's my boy!
Harlan, get in here.
Okay, Coach.
Is that what this is about? That young lady?
It's got nothing to do with her.
Hey, I need you to focus. Forget about everything else.
Block it out. All right? She… she is not here.
She's right there. I see her.
Hey, hey, we practice hard so that there's no pressure in the game, remember?
Okay. I'm gonna do it, Coach.
All right. That's my boy. Go get 'em.
Line it up. Let's go.
-Think he's gonna do it? -Nope.
He looks even more scared than the last time.
I know. What a little wussy.
Come on! Let's go, Warriors!
-Hut! The ball is snapped.
-Harlan with the kick.
My butthole!
And the Warriors win, but the extra point is no good.
Thank you, Mom.
Let's go!
Did you see Connor score that goal?
Yeah. I was, uh… I was… I was out there.
Yes, I saw you.
I like you and Connor connecting.
You said it would take some time, and it did,
but I feel like we're moving in the right direction.
You know, when I was a kid, I idolized my father so much.
Then, when I was eight, they got divorced.
My dad moved out. I resented him so much. I…
He used to call the house. I wouldn't even pick up the phone.
He'd come by outside school, and I…
I'd walk right by him and not even acknowledge him.
I know that must've hurt him.
So when did you guys reconnect?
Oh, we never did.
Yeah. He could be dead by now. It was 30 years ago, but…
Anyway, good game today.
Uh, why… Why would you tell me that story?
You're wearing the same cologne as he did, and it just reminded me of him.
I-I don't wear cologne.
Oh. My bad. Sorry about that.
I just thought…
I-I got a whiff of something, and I… I just spilled my maté.
It's okay.
Sorry again.
Oh, right on time.
Oh, and dressed so snazzy.
-Come on in. -Thank you for having me.
Oh, and you brought a tiny cake.
Hey there, buddy. What you working on?
-Oh, Spanish. -Bueno.
Huh?
I hope you like Pinot Grigio. We drink a lot of it.
"We"?
Well, just me. Makes it more fun around here.
You know, I-I think I'm good on the wine.
You know, we got a big game tomorrow. Right, Dennis? The Porcupines.
They've been league champs for four years in a row.
Hope they don't humiliate us too bad.
Hey, muy pesimistico.
Oh, you're so funny, Sean.
But I sense a lot of pain underneath that jovial exterior.
Was it a rough breakup with Beth?
It was… It was just one of those things.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, those skinny girls can never handle a strong, robust man.
They snap like a twig under real pressure.
I don't think we should talk about it in front of Dennis.
-Dennis, go to your room. -But I'm hungry.
You always hungry.
I'm pretty hungry too. It smells amazing. So why don't we, uh, get to dinner, huh?
You should see how I do on breakfast.
Oh, hold on now.
Oh, eyelash stuck. Hold on.
Let me just see if I can just put my fingernail up in there.
And, nope. Damn it. I can't get it open.
I need to run to the ladies' room to unstick this.
It won't be but a minute.
Dennis, check on that gumbo.
-I don't wanna get it burnt up for Coach. -Yes, Mama.
-I gotta take this. This is important. -This is your chance to get out.
-Yeah. Tell your mom I said thank you. Just go!
Hey, great timing with the call. How'd we do?
Sorry. It's over. They aren't gonna let you coach this year.
What? You said you were out in front of this thing.
-Come on, guys. Let's go.
There he is. Hurry up.
You lost your appeal with the NFL. Any comments?
I'm just here to watch my son play football.
It has nothing to do with my situation with the NFL.
-Just a few questions. -No comment.
-Hey, Marcos, say something. -I have a comment.
Coach Payton is the best!
-Yeah! -Come on. Let's go.
-We got a game. Focus. -Harlan loves you, Brooke Davis!
-Not guilty! -No comment. No comment.
They weren't asking you nothin'.
-Porcupine! Stick 'em!
-Stick 'em!
Stick 'em!
-Stick 'em!
Hey, don't… don't look at them.
Eyes up here, guys. Let's go. Come on.
Why, ain't this nice? Super Bowl-winning coach.
Eastern Illinois Hall of Fame.
Coach of the Year, 2006.
And now you're here.
-Porcupine!
-Stick 'em!
Oh!
Personal foul! Roughing the passer!
Yes!
Was that Drew Brees we just dropped? Don't look like Drew Brees.
Not quite the same footwork.
Give me some. You gotta give me some quicker.
I mean, there's no way these guys are 12. 52 doesn't look like no kid.
He looks like he has a kid.
Set. Blue, 88. Blue, 88. Hike.
Go! Go!
That's another touchdown for the Porcupines.
Yes!
Hey, Fancy Pants!
Your big ole trophy don't scare me.
You in football country now. I own you.
-Is there any way to stop them?
Not unless you wanna put Gus on the line.
Put me in, Coach.
Down, set, go.
Fumble! Go! Go! Go!
And that's another touchdown for the Porcupines.
It's too easy!
Which will close this one out.
Guys, just a disastrous effort by Sean Payton.
That's that.
Good game, Big Time.
You remember the last time Sean Payton was on?
I think he injured his shoulder. He was pattin' himself on the back,
telling us the offensive innovator and all this great stuff.
Well, he lost his appeal.
The Saints just won their first game without him,
and he's coaching his 12-year-old son's football team.
And what did they do with Sean Payton as their head coach?
They got crushed by their crosstown rivals, the Porcupines.
Woo! That's the hit you only see in your nightmares.
I know that coach, Daryl Fitzsimmons, had to love this, because he…
Hey, change the channel, would you?
Doesn't get any worse than that--
Ouch. Maybe Payton's lost his magic touch.
It makes you wonder if the Saints will even bring him back.
Maybe they'll hire the coach from the Porcupines.
That Porcupines coach is pretty good.
Has some funny zingers.
Like, one time at a gas station,
he told me I looked like if Ellen DeGeneres and a robot had a baby.
So good.
God.
Payton, maybe it's time to give Marcos another chance at QB? What do you say?
Hey, Calvin. Funny, I didn't hear from you when we won six straight.
Yeah, and Paulie's tired of getting kicked in the ass too.
All right. I forgot my notebook on the sidelines.
Let me go grab it so I can write some notes down.
-Oh. Okay. -Thanks for considering that.
-You mind if I address the whole team? -Be my guest.
Everybody, take a knee.
That was a bad loss.
We are going to get our revenge.
We don't play them again.
Oh, thank God.
We play them again in 27 days. In the championship game.
I know they're gonna be at the championship game,
but how are we gonna get there?
-We'd have to win the rest of our games. -That's right, Jason.
You guys know what Drew Brees does after every game?
When everybody else has gone home, Drew stays on the field,
and he runs through the progressions in his head
to see what he could've done better.
That's what separates him from the rest.
That's how you become great.
You think we can beat 'em, Dad?
We're not only gonna beat 'em,
we're gonna shut the scoreboard off. How about that?
Yeah, boys.
Yeah!
Last Saturday, I saw a team get beat mentally!
I saw guys quitting!
I saw guys not at their physical best.
So how do we bring that to the next level?
I'll tell you how.
We start running laps. Go!
He wasn't talking about me quitting and not being my physical best, was he?
He wasn't, but a couple of laps wouldn't hurt.
Let's go. Get in there. Get in there. Line it up. Let's go. Who wants it now?
Yeah!
Again! Harder! You knock him in the dirt!
Paulie, put the pizza down. That's not your physical best.
Listen up, guys.
We need to address our weakest link, which is our kicking game.
-My butt hurts, man. -It's because of Harlan's girlfriend.
She's not my girlfriend.
-Tell her not to come. -You need to focus, man.
Hey, hey, hey, cut it out.
Listen up. Harlan's your teammate. You're all gonna go through the same thing,
so we need to help him with his girlfriend problems.
Guys, she's not my girlfriend. She doesn't even know I exist.
-Have you ever talked to this girl? -I can't.
I dropped out of chorus the first day she joined.
Aw, big loss. Harlan's got the voice of an angel.
I say stay away from her.
-Oh God, not again. -She'll break your heart.
-Next thing, she's seeing some busboy. -Mitch.
-Then you're moving in with your mother. -We talked about this.
-M-M-Mitch, stop. -And this kid's gonna kick my ass?
Okay, Mitchell.
-25 years old? H-How am I gonna fight him? -Mitch, shut up.
I've got a bad hip and a back made out of saltines, for crying out loud.
Hey!
Hey, Mitch, chill, man. I'm setting you up with my twin sister.
Guys, look, Harlan's our teammate, okay?
He's got a problem. We need to help him solve it.
I mean, my mom likes it when I make her breakfast in the morning.
Make her breakfast.
-I don't even know how to cook. -But you do know how to sing.
Trust me, this is gonna work. Ladies, they love the lanterns.
Had these left over from my third wedding.
Ah, I always have problems.
Good luck, kid. Don't screw it up.
Woo!
Here she comes!
What do you want?
Wow, she's much older than I thought she would be.
I was sleepin'. Do you know what time it is?
It's like 7:30.
Uh, hi. Is Brooke home?
Wrong house, dummy. It's across the street.
Argh, fire!
Mom!
Okay, guys, uh, I think I'm gonna call it a night.
-How are you gonna get to work tomorrow? -I won't. I'll be fired, but I'll be okay.
Well, at least she knows who you are now.
Coming down there!
-Yeah, boys. -Yeah, yeah.
There is excitement in Argyle, Texas, today, boys.
-Gentlemen. Amazing news. -Hey, Jamie.
Since I got fired from the health food store
for letting the cat sleep in the kale,
I've been in the kitchen, your old kitchen,
perfecting my recipe for the ultimate energy bar.
-Okay. -And today, I finally succeeded.
Gentlemen, may I present to you the Super Log.
-Okay, great. Thank you. -You mind if I hand 'em out to the boys?
Great, Jamie. Go ahead.
Hey, listen, guys. Wake up! Come on over here. Everybody. Let's go.
Come on.
Now, we are one game away.
One game away from the championship.
I can't go out there and win it for you.
Each and every one of you has to do your job.
Do your job and have fun.
-Let's get on that bus. Let's go! -Yeah!
Super Log. Super Log. Grab one, a Super Log.
Uh, do you think I'll get in today, Coach?
-Let me talk to Coach Payton about it. -Okay.
All right.
The Warriors could win with a field goal,
but Coach Payton has decided to go for the touchdown.
With a trip to the championship at stake,
they'll have one final play to secure their spot.
Ain't gonna score, boys. Season's over for ya.
That's what you think. We're going to the champ--
Ugh. Ew!
Ew, dude!
Time-out! Time-out!
That's our last time-out! What are you doin'?
You okay, Paulie?
-I am feeling better now that I hurled. -Okay.
Coach, I don't feel so--
Ew, Marcos, that's so--
What the hell is happening?
Jamie's Power Logs.
-Super Logs. -How many of y'all had a Log?
Oh, I forgot I had one.
I don't know what the penalty is, but I'm calling a forfeit.
Don't forfeit. We are five yards away from a championship game.
-We are finishing this. -They're all sick.
Blue Delta Lightning! Let's go! Let's go!
Ten!
Touchdown, Warriors! Incredible victory!
The Warriors have barfed their way into the championship.
The championship game is set.
Warriors versus the Porcupines.
-Sean.How you holding up? Been better, Coach.
I can't hear you. Are you in a tornado or something?
Oh, no, no, it's a-a Jacuzzi filter a-and a fan.
Uh, look, um, I-I'm coaching my son's team,
and we-we're coming up against an offense I've never seen before.
Okay, what's it look like?
They got four backs, an unbalanced lineman, and it just--
Single wing.
The Steelers used to use this as their base formation in their offense
up until the early '50s.
For the life of me, I can't figure it out.
Easy. Take your wide receivers and make them linebackers.
-Okay. -This is not about skill set.
It's about speed.
By the way, if you lose, do not tell anybody that I helped you.
-Yeah, I promise. Good.
The other thing you have to focus on is this.
You're taking offensive players to defense…
Oh, I love that. Okay, great. That's great.
And welcome to the North Central Texas Championship,
where today's matchup is against the defending Springtown Porcupines
and the Argyle Warriors.
Captains to the center.
That's far enough. For the toss,
we'll be using the North Central Texas Championship commemorative coin.
Warriors, call it in the air.
Tails.
-Tails it is. Kick or receive? -Receive.
Enjoy it. It's the only thing you're gonna win all night.
That's a good one. Do you have a response? No? That's all right.
And away we go.
Remember the feeling you had after we lost to these guys.
A lot of times, we don't get a shot at redemption.
In the NFL, you lose to a team,
you may not see them for the rest of the season.
You gotta carry that feeling for another year.
You guys earned this,
and tonight we get to put that right by showing them exactly who we are.
Now, who are we?
Warriors!
Now, let's shut that scoreboard down.
-Let's go, boys. Game time! -Get in there! Let's go!
That got me. That got me.
Uh, hey, uh,
do you think Harlan could play tonight?
-What? -Well, he hasn't played in a while.
I understand he's your bud and all, but, uh, no, he-he sits.
I got you, Payton!
We about to eat!
We about to eat good too!
Y'all ready? Y'all ready? Let's do this! Let's do this! Come on!
Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Get that ball.
Marcos Gutierrez to return.
-Come on! -Run it! Run it!
Yes! Yes!
Hey! Hey!
Here we go! Here we go!
To the 30.
-To the 20. -Go!
To the ten!
-Touchdown, Warriors! -Woo!
Let's go! Yeah! Let's go. Come on!
What a tremendous open for the Warriors.
Okay! Okay. Okay, Payton!
All right! Let's go, defense! D-D-D!
Hey! That's what I'm talking about.
Get in there. Way to go, guys. Get it done.
Here, listen up.
Okay, when we get out there, we're gonna be in a 3-4.
But, Jason, I had an idea for you.
I know how to attack this offense.
Okay? What they're running is called a "single wing." And we gotta--
Aren't you running the offense now?
I can do both. Here's the deal.
To beat the single wing, we gotta do this with speed.
We're gonna take our two fastest players, Connor and Marcos,
and we're gonna put you guys as defensive ends--
Uh, uh, I thought I was the defensive lineb--
You were. Okay? You're not now. We gotta be able to adjust, okay?
-When did you come up with this? -Last night.
By myself. Layin' on my bed in a crappy hotel, drinkin' a scotch.
Okay, here it is.
Defensive ends, we're gonna send them all with speed, speed, speed, okay? Let's go.
Get it done.
-So we're not on D anymore? -I don't know what we're doing.
Don't you think you have your hands full with the offense?
Listen, this game is gonna be either won or lost by defense.
But I don't know how I feel about sitting so many guys.
I know exactly how I feel.
Hey, what's goin' on?
Hike!
That's my boy! Okay, get 'em, okay!
Yeah!
Oh, so you wanna make adjustments?
I can adjust too.
I'm an adjustable chair, baby.
I'mma pull it back on you. I'm reclining on you.
You ain't never seen a La-Z-Boy like this.
-Hut!
-Ball is loose! -Get on it!
Yeah!
-Warrior ball! And Warriors recover!
-That's right! -That's how you play football!
-Yeah, Connor! -Yes!
You seeing this, Ronald?
All right, good stuff, team. Good stuff!
There you guys go. Way to go. What are you guys doing? Get out there.
Wait, Marcos and I are on offense too?
Yeah, offense and defense. Let's go. Come on.
All right, everyone! Let's go! Let's go!
3-8-8. Set!
-Brian drops back.
He airs it out to Payton.
Who hauls it in. Touchdown, Warriors!
There we go! There we go!
What was that?
And just like that,
the Warriors take an early two-touchdown lead.
Blue 88.
I'm comin' for you! I'm comin' for you!
The Porcupines will try to capitalize in the red zone
and put some points on the board.
It's a handoff to Bunche. Oh, he jukes a defender.
-Touchdown Porcupines. What I'm talking about.
They can't hold you! They can't hold you!
They can't hold him! They can't hold him! They can't hold him!
You can't hold him!
Set, hut!
Another throw from Brian to Connor.
Touchdown, Warriors!
Neither team ready to take their foot off the gas.
We head to the second quarter.
Sean Payton is runnin' these kids ragged.
And with just seven seconds left in the half,
the Porcupines will have one last shot at the end zone to tighten the score.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
That's a touchdown for the Porcupines.
Yes! You can't coach speed.
You got all of halftime to think about that one, Sean.
That'll do it for the first half.
For the first time all season,
the Porcupines are down.
Warriors lead 18 to 17.
Ronald is already celebrating with his lucky halftime pickle.
We're looking good.
You can be sure they're gonna make adjustments.
So we need to be ready.
-I'm tired, Coach. -That happens when you put the work in.
-You're gonna get tired. Suck it up. -I'm exhausted too, Dad.
Why can't Nate and Jason get back on defense, Coach?
'Cause sometimes you need to sacrifice for the good of the team, Dennis.
Yeah, right.
I'm sorry?
You never sacrifice for anyone. You make everyone else sacrifice for you.
Settle down there, son. Listen, Brian. I want you to--
You're yelling at everybody
and won't let anybody listen to Coach Troy.
-You haven't let Harlan play in weeks. -I'm trying to win a championship.
Just so you don't look bad.
Ever since you got embarrassed on ESPN, you've been riding all of us.
-I thought this was supposed to be fun. -W-Was it fun losin' every week?
Was that fun?
It was more fun than this.
Hey, if you're not having fun, you're welcome to ride the bench. Okay?
So you're just gonna bench the whole team then? What is your problem?
I am here trying to make this work!
You're only here 'cause you got suspended.
Okay, guys, that's halftime.
Ooh, no, no, my bad. We got another five… Seven minutes. Another seven minutes.
That's okay. Let's just… Let's… let's go now.
Fourth down!
And Connor Payton goes down hard.
No gain on the fourth down.
And the Porcupines will take over at their own 35-yard line.
Hey, you remember what you told me that night?
You said you didn't want a whistle around your neck
because you didn't think Connor would like it.
Yeah.
I know you don't wanna be right.
Hey, you two.
You guys take a break.
Nate, Jason, get back in on defense. Let's go.
We're playing in the championship game, Nate.
-This is awesome! -I know. I'm terrified!
We are deep in this fourth quarter.
This next field goal should put it out of reach for the Warriors.
There's the snap. The hold. The kick.
Yes!
-And it's blocked! -Yes!
First down, Warriors!
Attaboy, Nate.
Hey, hey, hey. You ready, big man?
The question is, are they ready?
All right!
All right, hey, hey, hey! Come here. Listen, trips right, red seven.
-What? -All right.
Grande burrito with everything.
-Oh, okay. -Yeah!
Go team, go! Go team, go!
Grande burrito. Grande burrito!
Hike!
Come on, Dennis!
-Yes. Yes! -Go!
Keep going!
Yes!
Yeah!
That's my baby! That's my boy!
Thanks for getting me where I needed to be on this journey. I will never forget you.
All right, all right!
Hey, we got time for one more play. Green Stick Lookie! Let's finish this!
It's Wildcat! Wildcat!
T-T-Time-out! Change of play!
Hey, hey, hey!
Field goal unit.
What?
You realize that's just gonna tie.
Yeah. That's right. Harlan. Harlan. Come on. Get in here.
Hey, hey, I thought we earned it. Redemption.
Yeah, that's what I'm doin'.
Are you sure, Dad?
Yeah. Last game of the season. Everybody plays.
Come on. Get in there. Get in there.
All right, boys. Let's do our field goal.
I can't believe it.
Sean Payton, down three, has decided to go for the tie
with a field goal kicker that hasn't made one all season.
Wow.
Come on, let's go. Let's make this happen.
Let's go, Harlan!
Why is my stepdaughter blowing that kid a kiss?
Hut.
Snap is back. The ball is down.
The kick is up.
It's goin'.
It's goin' wide.
It's goin' very wide.
Oh my goodness. It's still goin'.
No good.
Yes! Yes!
Oh, explosion!
There is fireworks in Argyle, Texas, tonight.
We shut it down!
What?
Dennis! Yes, Dennis!
Oh, this is such a great ending.
The Porcupines have won the game, though, just to be totally clear.
Harlan! Harlan! Harlan! Harlan! Harlan!
Hey. Played a heck of a game.
Yeah, and I coached it. Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Ooh, baby!
-How you feeling? -I'm feeling good.
-Yeah. -I feel real good.
Thank you, again, for everything. Seriously.
Hopefully, I'll have your playbook down before next season.
I'm sure if you don't, Coach Mitch will have you covered.
Oh! Looks like he found his ride home.
-Oh. You know he likes gumbo.
Hey, listen, I wanted to thank you. You've taught me so much this season.
You really did.
You keep coaching like this, I promise you,
you're gonna earn yourself one of these. Try it on.
Connor's dad is giving his Super Bowl ring to Coach Troy.
No. He's just tryin' it on. He's borrowing it. That's all.
That's all, guys. Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Whoa, guys!
-Awesome! -Hey, come on.
You take care, Eric.
Oh, Mr. Payton, you're checking out?
Uh, yeah. What gave it away? The, uh, "take care" or the bag?
Well, I hope you enjoyed your stay here, and…
Oh, wait. You gotta see this.
Look, it's a boy!
Whoa. Is… is that mid-birth?
Isn't it beautiful? That's his little head poking out.
Wow. He… he looks just like you.
Your wife might not appreciate you showing that picture to a lot of people.
Oh crap.
Gotta say I was really impressed with your speed this season.
-Guessing you get that from your old man. -Oh, definitely not.
I think I get that from Mom.
I get the soft hands from Jamie. He makes his own lavender soap.
Of course he does.
Hey, I wanted to thank you.
For what?
Well, I wanted you to know that
I-I needed you and the…
and the team more than you guys needed me.
Yeah, you did.
I was talking to your mom.
Thought maybe you comin' out to New Orleans for some visits this year.
-What do you think of that? -For sure.
-Okay. -That'd be really fun. I'd love that.
-All right.
Can I go to games?
That's what you're coming out there for. You're not stayin' in my house!
-You think I can meet Drew? -Nah, he don't wanna meet you.
We'll have some fun.
-I love you, Connor. -I love you too, Dad.
I'm gonna need a scouting report on every RB in the draft.
And RB is Russell brouts?
No, a running back, and that's not how you say that vegetable.
Oh. A-And we get these scouting reports from…
The scouting department.
Wow! You're a lot more patient with me after working with kids for a year.
Yeah. Enjoy it while it lasts, Emma.
-Lionel! -Coach!
-Good to have you back. -It's good to be back.
I missed you so much.
Ah, I missed you too.
We really suck without you.