1
00:01:11,055 --> 00:01:13,958
Did your brother say he was
joining us for lunch?

2
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,325
Yeah. He said maybe.

3
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,234
- What is that?
- What?

4
00:01:23,267 --> 00:01:24,936
- What is going on?
- Do you feel that?

5
00:01:24,969 --> 00:01:26,204
I feel shaky.

6
00:01:48,425 --> 00:01:49,827
Headquarters.

7
00:01:50,261 --> 00:01:51,329
A what?

8
00:02:11,015 --> 00:02:12,049
Come in here.

9
00:02:31,969 --> 00:02:34,738
All right. How's that smoke?
Good? All right.

10
00:02:34,772 --> 00:02:37,440
Here we go.
Full tight on the monster. Rolling.

11
00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:41,678
Is me being pulled in
only that much to the table, it's fine?

12
00:02:41,711 --> 00:02:44,514
But the main thing is
we need to hide your body more.

13
00:02:53,723 --> 00:02:56,961
Wee man! Whoa! Wee man!

14
00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:05,870
Fucking look!
Wee man, right there!

15
00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:19,516
Ow!

16
00:03:27,758 --> 00:03:29,026
Oh!

17
00:03:45,409 --> 00:03:46,978
There! Fire!

18
00:03:55,953 --> 00:03:57,188
What?

19
00:03:57,221 --> 00:03:58,222
Whoo!

20
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,995
Fire this way!

21
00:04:09,433 --> 00:04:10,935
Fire! Shoot it!

22
00:05:18,803 --> 00:05:21,138
Oh... settle down, big fella.

23
00:05:22,106 --> 00:05:24,241
This is all just a big
misunderstanding.

24
00:05:24,975 --> 00:05:27,511
We can work this out like pals.

25
00:05:27,545 --> 00:05:30,147
Settle! Settle! Set...

26
00:05:48,399 --> 00:05:51,936
Oh, no! Oh, no!

27
00:06:05,015 --> 00:06:08,185
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville!
Welcome to <i>jackass!</i>

28
00:06:18,661 --> 00:06:21,799
Hey. Steve-O, how does it
feel to be on set 20 years later?

29
00:06:22,732 --> 00:06:24,201
Man, it's uh...

30
00:06:26,837 --> 00:06:28,906
It's pretty heavy, dude.

31
00:06:28,939 --> 00:06:32,642
You think about how the last movie
had, like, the credits,

32
00:06:32,675 --> 00:06:36,013
which showed us when we first
started and it was ten years later...

33
00:06:36,046 --> 00:06:38,883
- Yeah.
- And now it's another ten years.

34
00:06:38,916 --> 00:06:40,451
I gotta say, I look great,
though.

35
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:41,585
You look 20 millions...

36
00:06:41,619 --> 00:06:43,621
Yeah.

37
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,289
That's how my dogs
jumped up on the...

38
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,925
The big one lays down and the
little one gets on top there.

39
00:06:48,359 --> 00:06:49,426
Lance.

40
00:06:53,564 --> 00:06:55,432
Oh, my god!

41
00:06:55,466 --> 00:06:59,236
Yeah! Poopies! Poopies!

42
00:06:59,270 --> 00:07:00,971
That was really uncool.

43
00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:02,773
Do you feel the vibration?

44
00:07:03,574 --> 00:07:05,776
- Wow!
- Oh, shit!

45
00:07:05,809 --> 00:07:08,512
Hi, I'm Preston Lacy.
This is a human ramp.

46
00:07:11,081 --> 00:07:13,484
That's Dave gravette.
Come on, we gotta go.

47
00:07:13,517 --> 00:07:14,652
Fuck, we gotta go.

48
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,719
Someone's being
a little dramatic.

49
00:07:16,754 --> 00:07:19,523
Come on.
Oh, my god, we gotta go.

50
00:07:19,557 --> 00:07:21,025
Here he goes.

51
00:07:21,058 --> 00:07:22,126
He's coming!

52
00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:24,228
- Here, watch this.
- There he is.

53
00:07:24,261 --> 00:07:25,329
Brace yourselves.

54
00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:28,432
Oh, my goodness!

55
00:07:33,804 --> 00:07:36,040
Oh, god! You all right?

56
00:07:36,073 --> 00:07:37,241
Yeah!

57
00:07:37,942 --> 00:07:38,976
Wow!

58
00:07:39,009 --> 00:07:41,045
You're not filming
my bald spot are you?

59
00:07:41,078 --> 00:07:41,979
No, no, no.

60
00:07:42,012 --> 00:07:44,114
You all right?

61
00:07:49,954 --> 00:07:52,323
God damn it,
is that why you put that camera...?

62
00:07:56,827 --> 00:07:58,762
No more bald spot!

63
00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:01,332
All right, here we go!

64
00:08:05,336 --> 00:08:06,370
Oh!

65
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,671
Shit!

66
00:08:07,705 --> 00:08:09,406
Oh, my... oh, what happened?

67
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,043
Oh, man, fuck this.
I gotta just get up and walk this off.

68
00:08:16,447 --> 00:08:18,249
Yeah!

69
00:08:20,284 --> 00:08:21,385
Oh!

70
00:08:23,053 --> 00:08:24,188
Backfire!

71
00:08:26,824 --> 00:08:29,393
You look like the kool-aid man.

72
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:33,664
It's time to introduce Zach Holmes
and say goodbye to the human ramp.

73
00:08:33,697 --> 00:08:35,065
Goodbye, human ramp!

74
00:08:35,666 --> 00:08:37,001
Oh, fuck!

75
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,436
We're gonna fuckin' die!

76
00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:40,471
Two, one...

77
00:08:43,307 --> 00:08:44,441
Whoa!

78
00:08:44,475 --> 00:08:46,477
Oh!

79
00:08:46,510 --> 00:08:47,745
- All right!
- Oh, my god.

80
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:48,846
Man falling.

81
00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:51,915
Holy shit! Yes! Fuck yes!

82
00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:54,251
- Oh, my god!
- Oh, my god, yes!

83
00:08:54,285 --> 00:08:55,319
I'm so glad I put this...

84
00:08:55,352 --> 00:08:57,721
Oh!

85
00:08:59,823 --> 00:09:01,125
That was awesome.

86
00:09:03,694 --> 00:09:05,195
I don't think Preston's okay.

87
00:09:05,729 --> 00:09:07,798
Motherfucker!

88
00:09:07,831 --> 00:09:09,900
Oh, dude, my back.
That hurt so bad.

89
00:09:09,933 --> 00:09:11,502
Oh, my god.

90
00:09:11,535 --> 00:09:12,803
Well done, Preston.

91
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:17,608
All right,
my name's Johnny Knoxville.

92
00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,043
Welcome to the dum dum game.

93
00:09:19,076 --> 00:09:20,978
Oh! I'm... I'm sorry, dude.

94
00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:22,680
Are you fucking kidding me?

95
00:09:22,713 --> 00:09:23,814
I...

96
00:09:23,847 --> 00:09:26,150
My hand hit the button!

97
00:09:26,183 --> 00:09:28,252
Oh, my god!

98
00:09:28,285 --> 00:09:29,553
Oh!

99
00:09:29,586 --> 00:09:31,021
Is that...

100
00:09:31,055 --> 00:09:32,056
Fuck!

101
00:09:32,623 --> 00:09:33,857
God!

102
00:09:33,891 --> 00:09:35,259
Dick pain hurts.

103
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,495
All right, let's play this game.

104
00:09:38,529 --> 00:09:43,200
Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville,
welcome to the dum dum game.

105
00:09:43,233 --> 00:09:46,904
Our lucky contestants are going
to be answering trivia questions.

106
00:09:46,937 --> 00:09:49,173
All these questions are on
a fourth-grade level.

107
00:09:49,206 --> 00:09:52,009
If you get them right,
you're safe and in the clear,

108
00:09:52,042 --> 00:09:53,744
and if you get them wrong...

109
00:09:53,778 --> 00:09:55,479
Oh, boy!

110
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,748
Last man standing is the winner.

111
00:09:57,782 --> 00:10:00,984
Okay, first question. Poopies.

112
00:10:01,018 --> 00:10:03,153
"Jenny has two plates
of 12 cookies.

113
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:05,824
Frank has four plates
of six cookies.

114
00:10:05,856 --> 00:10:07,591
Who has more cookies?"

115
00:10:07,624 --> 00:10:08,692
Jen!

116
00:10:08,726 --> 00:10:10,728
Jesus Christ!

117
00:10:14,932 --> 00:10:16,633
I can't do math!

118
00:10:20,170 --> 00:10:23,941
I'll remember that on my next
question, poopies.

119
00:10:23,974 --> 00:10:25,374
- I won't...
- Yeah, thanks, Johnny.

120
00:10:26,877 --> 00:10:28,312
Dude!

121
00:10:28,345 --> 00:10:29,781
Okay, ehren!

122
00:10:29,814 --> 00:10:32,883
Please spell the word
"dumbbell".

123
00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:34,718
"Dumbbell".

124
00:10:34,753 --> 00:10:36,220
D-u-m-b...

125
00:10:40,524 --> 00:10:41,592
What is it?

126
00:10:42,761 --> 00:10:44,328
D-u-m...

127
00:10:45,529 --> 00:10:47,231
B-e-i-i?

128
00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:52,002
Oh, god!

129
00:10:54,705 --> 00:10:56,106
Sorry, that was wrong.

130
00:10:56,140 --> 00:10:58,542
Don't be a dumbbell!

131
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:04,448
Poopies. Who played the piano on Elton
John's album <i>madman across the water?</i>

132
00:11:07,718 --> 00:11:08,986
Um...

133
00:11:10,487 --> 00:11:11,488
What's his name?

134
00:11:11,856 --> 00:11:12,990
Elton.

135
00:11:13,023 --> 00:11:14,425
Elton John!

136
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,795
Oh, that is correct!

137
00:11:16,828 --> 00:11:19,663
That is correct, poopies.

138
00:11:19,696 --> 00:11:22,166
I didn't think
you were gonna get that one.

139
00:11:22,199 --> 00:11:23,967
At last, see, you're doin' good!

140
00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:26,270
- Yes!
- Way to go!

141
00:11:26,303 --> 00:11:27,137
Fuck, yeah.

142
00:11:27,171 --> 00:11:28,505
Wee man, question:

143
00:11:28,539 --> 00:11:32,276
"What family of instruments
does the piano belong to?"

144
00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:35,279
S...

145
00:11:38,582 --> 00:11:39,716
Strings.

146
00:11:39,751 --> 00:11:40,895
It's a percussion instrument!

147
00:11:40,919 --> 00:11:42,519
I was gonna say that!

148
00:11:45,389 --> 00:11:47,558
I'm sorry, wee man,
but you're out.

149
00:11:47,591 --> 00:11:51,295
- All right. Good for me.
- Some integrity on that.

150
00:11:51,328 --> 00:11:55,867
Poopies, if you get this next
question wrong ehren, unfortunately, wins.

151
00:11:55,900 --> 00:12:00,137
"If a square is five inches
tall and five inches wide,

152
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,272
what is the area?"

153
00:12:04,943 --> 00:12:08,445
Ten inches direct... around.

154
00:12:08,479 --> 00:12:10,681
I'm sorry, poopies,
but that is wrong!

155
00:12:17,187 --> 00:12:21,759
Ehren, I'm sorry,
I hit the wrong button.

156
00:12:24,294 --> 00:12:26,430
But poopies, that was wrong.

157
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:31,468
Fuck this shit.
I'm outta here! Fuck it!

158
00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:35,439
- Ehren! Ehren is the winner!
- Ehren won!

159
00:12:35,472 --> 00:12:36,673
Yeah!

160
00:12:36,707 --> 00:12:38,342
Ehren is the winner!

161
00:12:57,094 --> 00:12:58,462
Oh, yes!

162
00:13:08,806 --> 00:13:10,541
Oh, my god.

163
00:13:10,574 --> 00:13:12,010
Yeah, that rang my bell!

164
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,311
I took a huge shit in there too.

165
00:13:14,344 --> 00:13:17,015
- Oh, my...
- Whoo!

166
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:21,019
So today we're gonna bring the
cast into this room two at a time

167
00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,420
because they think I'm doing
a rattlesnake stunt.

168
00:13:23,453 --> 00:13:27,391
But that's just a ruse to get them
in here so we can lock the door,

169
00:13:27,424 --> 00:13:30,160
turn out the lights,
and make their life a living hell.

170
00:13:30,193 --> 00:13:32,797
This is silence of the lambs.

171
00:13:33,898 --> 00:13:37,267
Dave england, ehren mcghehey...

172
00:13:37,301 --> 00:13:40,404
- We have Jules here. Are you excited?
- Jules, the snake guy.

173
00:13:40,437 --> 00:13:42,048
- I'm out. See you guys.
- Come on, ehren!

174
00:13:42,072 --> 00:13:44,274
You guys are just
peanut gallery for this.

175
00:13:44,308 --> 00:13:45,986
He's got a western
diamondback rattlesnake.

176
00:13:46,010 --> 00:13:47,387
He's going to release it
on the ground.

177
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,881
Pontius is gonna take a cookie
and set in on its head.

178
00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:53,918
And then, I'm going to try and
take the cookie off its head.

179
00:13:53,952 --> 00:13:57,789
This western diamondback
rattlesnake is very, very venomous.

180
00:13:57,822 --> 00:14:01,224
He will bite you if you get too close
to him and he will kill you, or try to.

181
00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:03,293
- I'm not kidding.
- Well, let's look at it.

182
00:14:04,461 --> 00:14:07,799
- Oh, my god!
- Oh, shit!

183
00:14:08,833 --> 00:14:10,500
Oh, my god.

184
00:14:10,534 --> 00:14:11,903
Fuck this, man.

185
00:14:14,304 --> 00:14:15,672
Can you feel my heart?

186
00:14:16,808 --> 00:14:18,977
- Wow, dude!
- All right.

187
00:14:19,010 --> 00:14:20,812
It's going as fast
as that rattlesnake.

188
00:14:20,845 --> 00:14:22,947
- That's why I won't do this.
- I did your part.

189
00:14:22,981 --> 00:14:25,083
I'm really scared for Johnny
right now.

190
00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,160
All right. Let's put the snake
away and get these guys mic'd.

191
00:14:27,184 --> 00:14:28,285
It's time to do this.

192
00:14:28,318 --> 00:14:30,454
Big ass snake.

193
00:14:30,487 --> 00:14:31,923
Oh, I know.

194
00:14:31,956 --> 00:14:33,123
All right, switch the bucket.

195
00:14:33,156 --> 00:14:34,625
Let's get the snake
out of the room.

196
00:14:41,164 --> 00:14:42,599
Is there an "antidope" here?

197
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:45,335
It's getting Knoxville for me.

198
00:14:45,369 --> 00:14:48,072
That's what it's called,
anti-venom, not "antidope".

199
00:14:48,106 --> 00:14:50,207
What's "antidope" mean?
I don't even know.

200
00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,209
- Johnny Knoxville.
- They're coming in right now.

201
00:14:52,242 --> 00:14:53,282
All right. You guys ready?

202
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:54,846
What's "antidope"?

203
00:14:54,879 --> 00:14:56,814
That's like...

204
00:14:56,848 --> 00:14:57,949
Oh, my fucking god!

205
00:14:57,982 --> 00:14:59,182
- No!
- No!

206
00:14:59,216 --> 00:15:02,754
- God damn!
- Oh, fuck you guys!

207
00:15:02,787 --> 00:15:05,222
How... why are we the only ones
in here now?

208
00:15:05,255 --> 00:15:06,758
I don't know, dude.

209
00:15:10,427 --> 00:15:12,329
- Doggone it!
- What?

210
00:15:12,362 --> 00:15:14,731
- Shit!
- Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville.

211
00:15:14,766 --> 00:15:16,433
Welcome to hell!

212
00:15:16,466 --> 00:15:18,936
Oh, fuck. Fucking
rattlesnake in here.

213
00:15:18,970 --> 00:15:21,251
Ehren, what are you doing?
Don't use me as a human shield!

214
00:15:21,738 --> 00:15:23,107
So if we get bit we die.

215
00:15:23,141 --> 00:15:25,877
Are you serious?

216
00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:28,478
This is so fucked up!
I knew this was going to fucking happen.

217
00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:30,380
Why the fuck did we go down
to the basement?

218
00:15:30,882 --> 00:15:32,249
Come on!

219
00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:36,954
Knox, what the fuck? Come on.

220
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,325
Come on!

221
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:43,895
What the fuck!

222
00:15:43,928 --> 00:15:45,562
Dude, what the hell?

223
00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:47,674
- What the fuck! No, stop!
- I knew this was going to happen!

224
00:15:47,698 --> 00:15:50,968
Stop! Stop! Oh!
Fuck, you guys, dude!

225
00:15:53,104 --> 00:15:54,438
P, where are you?

226
00:15:56,306 --> 00:15:57,909
I'm gonna break
that fucking door down.

227
00:15:57,942 --> 00:15:58,943
Do it, ehren.

228
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:02,479
Did they just...

229
00:16:02,512 --> 00:16:05,449
Fuck this shit!
Ah, fuck you guys!

230
00:16:07,752 --> 00:16:09,954
Fuck it, get the fuck
outta here!

231
00:16:09,987 --> 00:16:12,824
All right, now go for the
bucket and cue the snake sound.

232
00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:16,626
Oh, shit!

233
00:16:17,461 --> 00:16:18,328
Ahh!

234
00:16:18,361 --> 00:16:20,098
- Oh, oh, shit.
- Oh, my god!

235
00:16:20,131 --> 00:16:22,232
It might...
Guys, stay on the couch.

236
00:16:22,265 --> 00:16:24,135
The fuckin' snake. Stay still.

237
00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:27,004
- Oh, my fucking god.
- Hey, guys, honestly, be fuckin' chill.

238
00:16:27,038 --> 00:16:31,308
- Holy shit.
- This is not cool, seriously, get me the fuck out of here.

239
00:16:31,776 --> 00:16:33,878
Oh, fuck off!

240
00:16:33,911 --> 00:16:35,378
There's the snake, Dave.

241
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:38,381
Where are you, ehren?
Ehren? Ehren?

242
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,417
What the fuck! Ehren!

243
00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:42,352
How am I supposed to
even help you, Dave?

244
00:16:42,385 --> 00:16:43,988
I just need to know
you're there.

245
00:16:45,522 --> 00:16:47,491
- Fuck this!
- Ehren!

246
00:16:47,524 --> 00:16:50,795
Oh, I got a weapon now, motherfuckers.
I got a weapon.

247
00:16:50,828 --> 00:16:52,897
- Don't hit me, ehren. Ehren!
- No, I got a weapon!

248
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,099
- Don't hit me!
- You fuckin'...

249
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,068
Ehren, don't fuckin'
not answer me.

250
00:16:57,101 --> 00:16:58,401
They're knifin' me.

251
00:17:00,905 --> 00:17:03,440
Fuck, there's the door.
Dave over here!

252
00:17:03,473 --> 00:17:05,109
- Dave, this way!
- Yeah, right!

253
00:17:05,143 --> 00:17:06,486
- Dave, this way!
- Fuck that door.

254
00:17:06,510 --> 00:17:07,855
Fuck that. There's something
bad over there, probably!

255
00:17:07,879 --> 00:17:08,712
No, I promise!

256
00:17:08,745 --> 00:17:10,547
No, you don't know shit!

257
00:17:10,580 --> 00:17:12,917
There's a door.
I just opened it. I swear to god!

258
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:15,352
Oh, wow, how convenient.

259
00:17:15,385 --> 00:17:17,621
Come this way, I swear to god,
I'm not lying to you.

260
00:17:17,654 --> 00:17:19,694
- Fuck that door.
- You're on your own then, fucker!

261
00:17:19,723 --> 00:17:21,993
Ahh, shit! Ahh!

262
00:17:25,897 --> 00:17:26,964
Ehren!

263
00:17:27,865 --> 00:17:31,701
What the fuck is going on?

264
00:17:31,735 --> 00:17:34,571
I can't even...
I can't even fucking do it.

265
00:17:34,604 --> 00:17:37,440
This is fucking scary.
Seriously, this is fucked up.

266
00:17:38,276 --> 00:17:40,011
This is not cool, dude.

267
00:17:41,979 --> 00:17:43,513
Fuck! What the fuck! His head!

268
00:17:43,547 --> 00:17:45,883
- Oh, my god! Fuck! Oh, fuck.
- What?

269
00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:47,752
- Did I just get bit?
- Did you get bit?

270
00:17:47,785 --> 00:17:49,887
Dude, I got bit by something!
What the fuck was that?

271
00:17:49,921 --> 00:17:52,857
- Fuck! Jeff! He got fuckin' bit!
- No way!

272
00:17:52,890 --> 00:17:56,260
- Jeff, this is fuckin' unsafe.
- What the fuck, there's no lights!

273
00:17:56,294 --> 00:17:57,829
Oh, my god, dude,
this is so fucked up.

274
00:17:57,862 --> 00:17:59,973
You got snake bit.
We got to get you medical attention.

275
00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:01,265
Here. Come here.

276
00:18:01,299 --> 00:18:02,867
We got to get him
to the fucking medic.

277
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,802
I'm gonna have a
fuckin' heart attack, dude.

278
00:18:04,836 --> 00:18:07,872
Just, okay? Just go straight.

279
00:18:07,905 --> 00:18:09,240
- Okay?
- Okay.

280
00:18:09,273 --> 00:18:12,375
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!

281
00:18:12,409 --> 00:18:14,078
Motherfucker!

282
00:18:14,111 --> 00:18:16,948
Oh, I don't even know where my glasses are.
What the fuck!

283
00:18:18,381 --> 00:18:20,517
Oh, great! Fucking awesome!

284
00:18:24,322 --> 00:18:25,689
What the fuck is this?

285
00:18:26,623 --> 00:18:27,959
Ah!

286
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:30,928
Oh, holy shit!

287
00:18:31,829 --> 00:18:33,164
Motherfuckin...

288
00:18:36,399 --> 00:18:39,402
- Oh, my god!
- Ow! Fucking bitch!

289
00:18:42,173 --> 00:18:44,175
Lights on. Lights on. Come on.

290
00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:45,675
Zach, you all right?

291
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,187
- Holy shit...
- I cleared the fucking thing!

292
00:18:47,211 --> 00:18:49,847
I heard Zach, it sounded like
he's getting murdered in here.

293
00:18:51,015 --> 00:18:53,117
I thought this was like
the only way to get out.

294
00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:54,551
So I just climbed over it.

295
00:18:54,584 --> 00:18:55,920
And then, it broke.

296
00:18:57,221 --> 00:18:58,289
Let ehren out.

297
00:18:58,322 --> 00:18:59,522
Let me out.

298
00:19:06,898 --> 00:19:09,276
- Can we go outside now?
- No, we're done, we're done. We're done.

299
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,434
- No, we're not.
- God.

300
00:19:11,468 --> 00:19:13,737
The rest of my life I'm gonna
have nightmares, dude.

301
00:19:13,771 --> 00:19:16,307
I wanna go now.
Open that fuckin' door.

302
00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:17,875
Go out that one.
This one is locked.

303
00:19:17,909 --> 00:19:18,976
No, fuck you!

304
00:19:20,111 --> 00:19:22,380
I'll start a new life in here.

305
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,048
I will start...

306
00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:25,816
I will fuckin' live here.

307
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:31,721
How does this look?

308
00:19:32,455 --> 00:19:34,524
It's fuckin'... lubed up.

309
00:19:34,557 --> 00:19:36,093
Are we sponsored by glide?

310
00:19:36,127 --> 00:19:37,494
No. Not yet.

311
00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:38,939
Just say, "this is body
surfing", we don't need an intro.

312
00:19:38,963 --> 00:19:40,539
- Do you guys agree?
- I wanna say my name.

313
00:19:40,563 --> 00:19:42,009
- All right, say your name.
- This is Zach.

314
00:19:42,033 --> 00:19:44,501
I'm Jasper. And this is
bodysurfing, motherfucker.

315
00:19:46,904 --> 00:19:47,905
Fuck, fuck!

316
00:19:47,939 --> 00:19:50,808
No, no, no! No, Jasper, no, no!

317
00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:53,677
No! No!

318
00:19:53,710 --> 00:19:56,680
- Bye-bye, Jasper!
- Oh, shit, he's hauling ass!

319
00:20:00,284 --> 00:20:02,787
- That was great.
- The rocks hurt.

320
00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:05,990
I am poopies.
Big time movie star.

321
00:20:07,557 --> 00:20:10,194
And today,
we're big wave surfing.

322
00:20:15,967 --> 00:20:19,003
Oh, he got knocked off.

323
00:20:20,137 --> 00:20:21,339
He has no arms.

324
00:20:21,372 --> 00:20:23,140
- Dude, you have no arms?
- Shit.

325
00:20:23,174 --> 00:20:24,342
Oh, that sucks.

326
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:26,143
And then came the
heartbreaking news

327
00:20:26,177 --> 00:20:28,312
that horses don't have arms.

328
00:20:30,982 --> 00:20:33,483
I am Eric manaka,
and this is a horse race.

329
00:20:37,021 --> 00:20:38,923
- Put your hat on and go, man.
- My eyes!

330
00:20:40,191 --> 00:20:41,624
Oh, god.

331
00:20:42,393 --> 00:20:44,261
Run, run.

332
00:20:44,295 --> 00:20:45,963
Oh, Jesus Christ.

333
00:20:48,631 --> 00:20:50,234
- This is perfect.
- Oh, god.

334
00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:51,802
Oh! Eric, all back.

335
00:20:53,670 --> 00:20:54,872
Is he okay? He's not moving.

336
00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:56,974
Well, he can't.
His arms are trapped.

337
00:20:59,243 --> 00:21:00,277
That fucking hurt.

338
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:03,848
Two, one, go!

339
00:21:03,881 --> 00:21:05,349
We're going the wrong way.

340
00:21:05,383 --> 00:21:06,417
We're going the wrong...

341
00:21:06,450 --> 00:21:08,052
Oh, Jesus Christ.

342
00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:09,854
Oh, shit.

343
00:21:10,221 --> 00:21:12,655
Oh, my god.

344
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,058
Oh, he's nuts!

345
00:21:15,259 --> 00:21:16,726
Oh!

346
00:21:16,761 --> 00:21:18,229
Oh, my god.

347
00:21:20,364 --> 00:21:22,133
- Holy shit!
- Dude!

348
00:21:22,166 --> 00:21:23,167
That's crazy.

349
00:21:28,839 --> 00:21:31,574
Oh, my god.
I'm not doing that again.

350
00:21:31,608 --> 00:21:33,944
This guy's one
badass dude right here.

351
00:21:33,978 --> 00:21:35,346
I love you, dude.

352
00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:37,448
That is sick.

353
00:21:37,481 --> 00:21:39,250
You showed us how to surf.

354
00:21:40,985 --> 00:21:41,852
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

355
00:21:41,886 --> 00:21:43,586
Dude, I don't look
that good, man.

356
00:21:45,456 --> 00:21:48,225
Oh, shit.

357
00:21:48,259 --> 00:21:50,094
All right, take off the lid.

358
00:21:50,127 --> 00:21:52,496
Tap that right
over the top of it.

359
00:21:52,530 --> 00:21:55,966
Ooh! Ow! One got me already!

360
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,035
Ah, ah!

361
00:21:58,069 --> 00:22:01,038
Ow! Gosh damn!

362
00:22:01,072 --> 00:22:03,007
Oh. Here comes the queen.

363
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:06,510
Oh, yeah. Looking for her king.

364
00:22:06,544 --> 00:22:09,646
Jesus Christ, dude.
This is fucking wild.

365
00:22:09,679 --> 00:22:11,549
I was like, "yeah, cool,
let's do this."

366
00:22:13,751 --> 00:22:17,455
This little brown box
has the queen bee in it.

367
00:22:17,488 --> 00:22:20,458
Apparently,
she's pretty important.

368
00:22:20,491 --> 00:22:23,761
And that's going to attract the
other bees to the queen, right?

369
00:22:23,794 --> 00:22:25,763
- Yes.
- Oh, boy.

370
00:22:25,796 --> 00:22:28,466
There's a lot of bees, Steve-O.

371
00:22:28,499 --> 00:22:32,269
Just remember, don't pinch between
his balls and those bees, 'cause...

372
00:22:32,303 --> 00:22:33,904
He'll feel it real quickly.

373
00:22:33,938 --> 00:22:36,774
Dude, relax. Poopies relax, dog.
Relax, man.

374
00:22:36,807 --> 00:22:38,641
Poopies just got stung.

375
00:22:39,676 --> 00:22:41,744
Can we add all the bees
or is it better to go...

376
00:22:41,779 --> 00:22:43,848
You gotta kinda gently
put 'em up.

377
00:22:44,714 --> 00:22:46,114
Watch out. Move your
hands, Steve-O.

378
00:22:47,184 --> 00:22:48,219
Oh, shit.

379
00:22:48,252 --> 00:22:51,122
Ah. Aaaah! Ooooh!

380
00:22:51,155 --> 00:22:52,189
What? What?

381
00:22:52,223 --> 00:22:55,658
God, my fucking dick got one.
Oooooh!

382
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,761
Oooooh!

383
00:22:57,795 --> 00:23:01,165
Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus.

384
00:23:01,198 --> 00:23:03,267
Put 'em right up there
on top of it.

385
00:23:06,137 --> 00:23:08,572
They're really
latching on now, Steve-O.

386
00:23:08,606 --> 00:23:09,940
It's working, it's working.

387
00:23:09,974 --> 00:23:11,842
It's going good, Steve-O.

388
00:23:13,511 --> 00:23:15,312
Oh, boy, that...
They're really...

389
00:23:15,346 --> 00:23:16,713
Oh, goddamn it.

390
00:23:18,616 --> 00:23:20,117
Give them a little bridge.

391
00:23:21,585 --> 00:23:23,154
There you go, find your mommy.

392
00:23:23,187 --> 00:23:25,523
There's a lot of them right
in like the taint area.

393
00:23:28,893 --> 00:23:30,761
Your whole zen
approach to staying calm

394
00:23:30,794 --> 00:23:32,429
is really working, Steve-O.

395
00:23:32,463 --> 00:23:34,298
That yoga's really been helping.

396
00:23:35,132 --> 00:23:36,133
Meditating.

397
00:23:36,967 --> 00:23:39,236
- Ooh!
- Around the table.

398
00:23:39,270 --> 00:23:41,138
It's gonna make you
look good, Steve-O.

399
00:23:41,172 --> 00:23:42,806
Yeah, it's adding length.

400
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,476
It's kinda like
Mr. Snuffleupagus. Okay.

401
00:23:45,509 --> 00:23:48,312
Ow! Ow!

402
00:23:48,345 --> 00:23:50,713
Oooh. Oooh.

403
00:23:50,747 --> 00:23:53,784
- Are you good, o?
- Ahhh!

404
00:23:54,985 --> 00:23:56,921
It moves when you move.

405
00:23:58,556 --> 00:24:00,624
It's wiggling. It's wiggling.

406
00:24:00,658 --> 00:24:03,360
- Wiggle!
- The best thing to do is take off running, Steve-O.

407
00:24:03,394 --> 00:24:05,196
- Lay down, Steve-O.
- Just take off running.

408
00:24:05,229 --> 00:24:09,400
Run, Steve-O. That's the only
way the bees won't sting you.

409
00:24:14,171 --> 00:24:17,408
I got a fucking ballsack
full of bee stingers, dude.

410
00:24:19,109 --> 00:24:20,945
Yeah, I got a fucking
bunch of them.

411
00:24:20,978 --> 00:24:22,880
- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh.

412
00:24:28,619 --> 00:24:30,720
Hello, my name is Irving zisman,

413
00:24:30,754 --> 00:24:32,722
and this is my
good-for-nothing granddaughter

414
00:24:32,756 --> 00:24:36,026
and our not-so-handy
handyman, Zach.

415
00:24:36,060 --> 00:24:38,495
Today we're gonna do a little
furniture shopping.

416
00:24:44,802 --> 00:24:47,404
Hey, do you guys think this
looks straight, or is it sorta,

417
00:24:47,438 --> 00:24:49,049
- it's like if it was...
- I think you would have to...

418
00:24:49,073 --> 00:24:51,675
If you would hang the top
left side,

419
00:24:51,709 --> 00:24:52,953
I could tell if it's straight
or not 'cause...

420
00:24:52,977 --> 00:24:54,345
Oh, okay, for sure.

421
00:24:54,378 --> 00:24:55,813
Is everything on sale?

422
00:24:55,846 --> 00:24:58,515
Right now, I'm just doing the pillows.
They're half price, but...

423
00:24:58,549 --> 00:25:01,352
- Oh, okay, thank you.
- But I'm sure everything might be on sale.

424
00:25:01,385 --> 00:25:02,453
Okay.

425
00:25:05,522 --> 00:25:07,191
What is this over here?

426
00:25:10,561 --> 00:25:13,964
Oh. This is pretty good.

427
00:25:13,998 --> 00:25:17,101
A fella could have a pretty
good time on this.

428
00:25:17,134 --> 00:25:19,570
Hey, can you hand me
the black tape over there?

429
00:25:24,008 --> 00:25:25,509
Oh, my god.

430
00:25:27,478 --> 00:25:28,879
Oh, my god.

431
00:25:28,912 --> 00:25:30,514
What the hell happened?

432
00:25:30,547 --> 00:25:34,852
- Ow!
- Are you okay?

433
00:25:34,885 --> 00:25:37,354
I went up high
as a moose's caboose.

434
00:25:38,222 --> 00:25:39,923
Oh, my god.

435
00:25:39,957 --> 00:25:41,659
- Oh, my god.
- Did you do that?

436
00:25:41,692 --> 00:25:45,362
I am so sorry. It's literally my
second day on the job. I fell off.

437
00:25:45,396 --> 00:25:48,565
You tried to take
advantage of a defenseless old man?

438
00:25:49,300 --> 00:25:51,001
Grandpa, are you okay?

439
00:25:51,035 --> 00:25:52,569
I was attacked.

440
00:25:52,603 --> 00:25:55,873
He went higher than that roof.
He went all the way up in there.

441
00:25:55,906 --> 00:25:57,975
- What?
- See this thing right here.

442
00:25:58,008 --> 00:26:03,080
Your grandfather just sat on it and
laid back. This guy, he fell down,

443
00:26:03,113 --> 00:26:05,416
and he knocked your
grandfather through the roof.

444
00:26:05,449 --> 00:26:08,018
Jesus,
he does this shit all the time.

445
00:26:10,321 --> 00:26:13,490
I am Rob dyrdek, and this
is musical chair bags.

446
00:26:13,524 --> 00:26:17,928
Incredible fine young men,
new talent, war dogs.

447
00:26:17,961 --> 00:26:23,233
War dogs, new talent. One of them
is about to get blown sky high.

448
00:26:23,267 --> 00:26:26,103
The rest are gonna get really
lucky and just sit comfortably.

449
00:26:26,136 --> 00:26:29,373
Our dj for the day is
miss Rachel wolfson.

450
00:26:29,406 --> 00:26:32,643
Wee man's going to space.

451
00:26:32,676 --> 00:26:34,044
- Ah, shit.
- Wow.

452
00:26:34,078 --> 00:26:36,013
Man, wee man. I am sorry, man.

453
00:26:36,046 --> 00:26:37,981
How many times
do we get to play?

454
00:26:39,083 --> 00:26:41,485
- Oh, this is probably a one'r.
- Oh, it is.

455
00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:43,822
Shit.

456
00:26:49,093 --> 00:26:51,061
I am loving the energy, fellas.

457
00:26:51,095 --> 00:26:54,565
- Keep it up, nice twirl.
- The happiness.

458
00:26:56,567 --> 00:26:57,568
Oh, shit. Get in it.

459
00:27:01,872 --> 00:27:03,808
And let's keep going.

460
00:27:12,751 --> 00:27:14,418
Oh, find your chairs!

461
00:27:16,620 --> 00:27:18,956
One more time!

462
00:27:23,394 --> 00:27:25,396
What happened to the dance?

463
00:27:25,429 --> 00:27:29,533
- Just do it already.
- Wee man is not happy.

464
00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:31,068
He's not happy.

465
00:27:31,101 --> 00:27:33,772
- Wee man, come on!
- Put some spirit in it.

466
00:27:33,805 --> 00:27:35,472
- I'm spiriting it.
- Yeah.

467
00:27:35,506 --> 00:27:36,673
Fuck it.

468
00:27:36,707 --> 00:27:38,275
Oh!

469
00:27:42,045 --> 00:27:43,380
Oh, my god.

470
00:27:44,748 --> 00:27:46,216
Holy fuck.

471
00:27:46,885 --> 00:27:48,753
Oh, god.

472
00:27:48,787 --> 00:27:51,321
- Oh, man.
- What happened to you?

473
00:27:51,355 --> 00:27:55,459
I believe he shot up
and into the hole.

474
00:27:55,492 --> 00:28:01,231
<i>Wee man flipped.
How did you go backwards?</i>

475
00:28:01,265 --> 00:28:03,967
We have our champion.

476
00:28:04,001 --> 00:28:05,736
I landed on all that shit.

477
00:28:05,770 --> 00:28:08,505
Look at the safety precautions.

478
00:28:08,539 --> 00:28:12,276
I thought we were supposed to have
pads on the tubes and the metal.

479
00:28:12,309 --> 00:28:13,677
We forgot that detail.

480
00:28:16,146 --> 00:28:18,649
Once upon a time,
lived a father and son

481
00:28:18,682 --> 00:28:20,584
imprisoned on the
island of crete.

482
00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:23,720
Tired of life in the joint,
the father had the son gather up feathers

483
00:28:23,755 --> 00:28:26,156
that were lying around the cell
and he made them both wings.

484
00:28:26,190 --> 00:28:29,660
And they went off to escape
the island of crete forever.

485
00:28:29,693 --> 00:28:33,497
But there's that one thing they
left out of the ancient myth.

486
00:28:33,898 --> 00:28:35,232
The Cannon.

487
00:28:37,334 --> 00:28:41,505
Hello, I am Johnny Knoxville and
this is the flight of icarus.

488
00:28:41,538 --> 00:28:44,308
And if you think we're wearing
underpants under these tunics,

489
00:28:44,341 --> 00:28:46,677
you're sadly mistaken,
my friend.

490
00:28:48,178 --> 00:28:50,247
Mmm, mmm.
A little something for ya?

491
00:28:52,483 --> 00:28:53,984
They should just point it
straight up.

492
00:28:54,017 --> 00:28:56,487
Either way it goes,
he's gonna land in this lake.

493
00:28:56,520 --> 00:29:00,190
How big of an angle is
it gonna be?

494
00:29:00,224 --> 00:29:02,927
Oh, god,
they're going to make it bad.

495
00:29:02,961 --> 00:29:06,096
- Oh, god, I can't take it!
- Shit, man.

496
00:29:06,129 --> 00:29:08,967
- Man, that's steep.
- Holy shit, Knox.

497
00:29:08,999 --> 00:29:13,604
In ten, nine, eight,

498
00:29:13,637 --> 00:29:17,608
seven, six, five, four,

499
00:29:17,641 --> 00:29:21,645
three, two, one. Whooo!

500
00:29:22,045 --> 00:29:24,448
Yes!

501
00:29:30,053 --> 00:29:34,291
- I felt like I got a 200-pound colonic up my ass.
- Oh, my god.

502
00:29:38,763 --> 00:29:41,665
You flew like an angel.

503
00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:44,468
<i>Unfortunately,
young icarus got a little bit cocky,</i>

504
00:29:44,501 --> 00:29:46,871
<i>and sure enough flew
too close to the sun.</i>

505
00:29:46,905 --> 00:29:48,773
<i>And fell to his doom.</i>

506
00:29:56,848 --> 00:29:58,549
Ooooh!

507
00:30:04,288 --> 00:30:06,590
- That was rad, dude.
- There's blood on the elbows.

508
00:30:06,623 --> 00:30:07,892
Yeah, attaboy.

509
00:30:07,926 --> 00:30:10,394
Good job, man.
Fucking right on, dude.

510
00:30:10,427 --> 00:30:11,896
- Your legs okay?
- Yeah.

511
00:30:11,930 --> 00:30:13,730
Good job.

512
00:30:16,166 --> 00:30:17,734
This is the quiet game.

513
00:30:17,769 --> 00:30:23,041
The object of this game is to remain
completely silent. How was that?

514
00:30:23,073 --> 00:30:27,177
Do we all understand the rules and
we're not gonna make any noise?

515
00:30:28,478 --> 00:30:30,614
All right,
well, let's get started.

516
00:30:30,647 --> 00:30:34,919
Rachel, your challenge in the quiet
game is to lick the electric lollipop.

517
00:30:34,953 --> 00:30:36,486
Are you ready?

518
00:30:37,354 --> 00:30:39,289
Jesus.

519
00:30:46,764 --> 00:30:50,467
Whooooaaah!

520
00:30:51,168 --> 00:30:54,304
Our first mime did really well.

521
00:30:54,338 --> 00:30:56,808
- Oh, yeah.
- Way to go.

522
00:30:57,708 --> 00:30:59,610
Yeah!

523
00:30:59,643 --> 00:31:02,579
- Bar's been set. You'll be hard to beat.
- Damn!

524
00:31:04,581 --> 00:31:07,417
For our next challenge,
our friend Jules here

525
00:31:07,451 --> 00:31:10,520
is going to help poopies
kiss this deadly viper.

526
00:31:12,289 --> 00:31:13,390
What kind of snake is it?

527
00:31:13,423 --> 00:31:15,359
It's a Texas rat snake.

528
00:31:15,392 --> 00:31:18,362
He's a feisty little bugger.
How you feeling, poopies?

529
00:31:21,164 --> 00:31:22,733
Is that venomous?

530
00:31:22,767 --> 00:31:25,702
Eh.

531
00:31:27,170 --> 00:31:28,438
We ready?

532
00:31:30,607 --> 00:31:32,175
- Go, go, go.
- Go in for the kiss.

533
00:31:32,209 --> 00:31:33,249
You have to get in closer.

534
00:31:33,276 --> 00:31:34,645
- Closer.
- Closer, closer.

535
00:31:34,678 --> 00:31:37,581
Up and down,
up and down. Up and down.

536
00:31:37,614 --> 00:31:39,884
You know you don't...
You need to stay. Stay!

537
00:31:39,917 --> 00:31:41,251
Give him a kiss.

538
00:31:41,284 --> 00:31:42,486
- Move your head.
- Closer.

539
00:31:42,519 --> 00:31:44,488
- Move your head.
- Closer.

540
00:31:44,521 --> 00:31:45,890
Here it comes, here it comes.

541
00:31:45,923 --> 00:31:48,225
- Oh, my god.
- One more.

542
00:31:48,258 --> 00:31:49,535
Get another one,
get another one.

543
00:31:49,559 --> 00:31:51,461
- Go again.
- We didn't get it.

544
00:31:51,495 --> 00:31:53,172
Come on, poopies,
you need to go again, dude.

545
00:31:53,196 --> 00:31:55,332
Oh, my god.

546
00:31:55,365 --> 00:31:58,002
- Work, work. You got this.
- You can do it.

547
00:31:58,036 --> 00:31:59,871
Right there. Touch his tail.

548
00:31:59,904 --> 00:32:01,438
Do it, come on, man.

549
00:32:01,471 --> 00:32:04,708
- Come on, man.
- Oh, my goodness.

550
00:32:04,741 --> 00:32:05,843
A little kissy.

551
00:32:05,877 --> 00:32:06,978
Here it goes.

552
00:32:07,011 --> 00:32:09,646
Oh!

553
00:32:11,015 --> 00:32:13,051
Oh, my goodness.

554
00:32:13,084 --> 00:32:17,187
Rachel and poopies laying
down the gauntlet on Steve-O.

555
00:32:18,056 --> 00:32:19,123
I gotta save you!

556
00:32:23,660 --> 00:32:24,996
I am saving you.

557
00:32:27,364 --> 00:32:29,000
I gotta save Jeff.

558
00:32:32,469 --> 00:32:35,940
Oh! Ow!

559
00:32:35,973 --> 00:32:37,274
Oh, fuck.

560
00:32:38,176 --> 00:32:39,509
I have one on me.

561
00:32:39,543 --> 00:32:41,112
I couldn't get it out.

562
00:32:42,379 --> 00:32:45,515
So, confidence
is very, very high

563
00:32:45,549 --> 00:32:47,919
with our third contestant,
Steve-O,

564
00:32:47,952 --> 00:32:50,253
for the skateboard guillotine.

565
00:32:53,124 --> 00:32:54,992
Wow.

566
00:32:55,026 --> 00:32:56,259
He's talking smack.

567
00:32:56,293 --> 00:32:58,029
Some mime shit talking
over there.

568
00:33:01,732 --> 00:33:02,733
Huh?

569
00:33:03,201 --> 00:33:04,401
All the way.

570
00:33:06,804 --> 00:33:07,905
All the way?

571
00:33:13,577 --> 00:33:15,746
- He's bold.
- Wow.

572
00:33:15,780 --> 00:33:18,281
- He's very cocky, this guy.
- Get your feet up.

573
00:33:18,315 --> 00:33:20,952
All right, on three!

574
00:33:21,886 --> 00:33:23,154
Aaaaah!

575
00:33:27,591 --> 00:33:30,762
<i>I forgot to
be fucking quiet, dude.</i>

576
00:33:30,795 --> 00:33:32,562
Aaaaah!

577
00:33:32,596 --> 00:33:36,600
Well, we have our winners,
and we have Steve-O.

578
00:33:42,739 --> 00:33:45,877
Zackass,
he's a real wild, crazy guy.

579
00:33:45,910 --> 00:33:48,445
He's a gnarly superstar.

580
00:33:48,478 --> 00:33:50,580
Zackass.

581
00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:54,252
There's nothing
he won't do. Zackass.

582
00:33:54,284 --> 00:33:56,386
He'll jump in cactus for you.

583
00:33:56,419 --> 00:33:59,422
Oh!

584
00:34:01,358 --> 00:34:04,862
While we all
stand and laugh. Go, go, Zach!

585
00:34:06,596 --> 00:34:08,665
The jackass guys are
getting old, we paid our dues,

586
00:34:08,698 --> 00:34:10,734
so we're handing the torch
to you.

587
00:34:12,904 --> 00:34:14,071
All right.

588
00:34:16,373 --> 00:34:17,574
Man, that was good.

589
00:34:22,512 --> 00:34:24,081
What are you going to be
doing today?

590
00:34:24,949 --> 00:34:27,885
Hit somebody in the nuts.

591
00:34:27,919 --> 00:34:32,622
Francis hits harder than any
heavyweight in the MMA. It's insane.

592
00:34:32,656 --> 00:34:33,991
Does ehren know this?

593
00:34:34,025 --> 00:34:36,961
No, I told ehren it was
a lightweight.

594
00:34:36,994 --> 00:34:40,397
I didn't tell him it was a heavyweight.
Jeff and I forgot to mention that.

595
00:34:42,834 --> 00:34:44,534
All right, he's coming, guys.

596
00:34:47,370 --> 00:34:52,176
That's not a fucking lightweight.
What are you guys talking about? What? No!

597
00:34:52,210 --> 00:34:56,013
What's going on here?
You guys can't...

598
00:34:56,047 --> 00:35:00,383
Almost 20 years ago today we
filmed the original cup test.

599
00:35:00,417 --> 00:35:03,453
Hi, I am Johnny Knoxville,
and this is the cup test.

600
00:35:03,486 --> 00:35:05,056
Oh!

601
00:35:05,089 --> 00:35:06,690
Oh!

602
00:35:06,723 --> 00:35:08,292
Oh!

603
00:35:08,326 --> 00:35:13,463
And now, 20 years later,
we're still doing the same stupid shit.

604
00:35:13,496 --> 00:35:15,498
This is the cup test.

605
00:35:16,968 --> 00:35:18,735
Ah!

606
00:35:18,769 --> 00:35:20,670
I love how you're just
smiling at him.

607
00:35:24,474 --> 00:35:27,778
I just googled the hardest
punch ever recorded.

608
00:35:27,812 --> 00:35:29,379
<i>Francis ngannou's punch is</i>

609
00:35:29,412 --> 00:35:33,818
<i>the equivalent of being hit
by a Ford escort at top speed.</i>

610
00:35:33,851 --> 00:35:38,022
- His punch is the equivalent...
- Wait. You don't need to read that now.

611
00:35:41,125 --> 00:35:43,895
You're about to
be hit by a car, ehren.

612
00:35:45,129 --> 00:35:46,396
All right, fight fans.

613
00:35:50,067 --> 00:35:51,701
Oh!

614
00:35:56,573 --> 00:36:04,115
- Did you hear something break?
- Yeah, I heard this crack. I thought it was the cup.

615
00:36:04,148 --> 00:36:06,650
<i>Is that the hardest you've
ever hit someone in the ding ding?</i>

616
00:36:06,683 --> 00:36:12,522
<i>Oh, yeah. Because I've never
hit somebody in the ding ding on purpose.</i>

617
00:36:13,723 --> 00:36:15,293
Eric, what's about to
go down here?

618
00:36:15,326 --> 00:36:19,797
Ehren's gonna get the world's
fastest softball pitcher.

619
00:36:19,830 --> 00:36:22,133
She's gonna like,
pitch a softball at his balls.

620
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:26,304
Oh!

621
00:36:26,337 --> 00:36:29,739
We ain't a fucking bunch of NASA
scientists over here, you know what I mean?

622
00:36:29,774 --> 00:36:32,676
This ain't a mensa convention.
We're getting down and dirty!

623
00:36:32,709 --> 00:36:35,745
I am danger ehren,
and this is the softball test.

624
00:36:35,780 --> 00:36:36,914
Let's do it.

625
00:36:36,948 --> 00:36:38,149
Play ball!

626
00:36:40,351 --> 00:36:42,552
She can't wait to hit him
in the dick.

627
00:36:46,324 --> 00:36:48,159
Oh!

628
00:36:48,192 --> 00:36:49,726
That was all thigh.

629
00:36:50,727 --> 00:36:52,863
Don't turn!
That would have hit him!

630
00:36:52,897 --> 00:36:54,231
You turned into...

631
00:36:54,265 --> 00:36:56,334
What, you can't quit already!

632
00:36:56,367 --> 00:36:57,734
That would have hit him!

633
00:36:57,768 --> 00:36:59,046
That would have hit you
in the ding-ding

634
00:36:59,070 --> 00:37:00,905
and you would have been done
for the day.

635
00:37:00,938 --> 00:37:01,973
It's a softball.

636
00:37:02,006 --> 00:37:04,241
There's nothing soft
about this fucking ball,

637
00:37:04,275 --> 00:37:05,475
it's just bigger.

638
00:37:11,248 --> 00:37:14,285
She keeps hitting him
in the same exact spot.

639
00:37:14,318 --> 00:37:16,988
- You're moving, dude!
- Why'd you move?

640
00:37:17,021 --> 00:37:18,122
I don't know!

641
00:37:20,958 --> 00:37:22,235
Don't hang brains out
of the side...

642
00:37:22,259 --> 00:37:25,562
I'm not trying to,
but it keeps slipping around.

643
00:37:25,595 --> 00:37:27,765
Well, you're wearing it
backwards, or upside-down.

644
00:37:27,798 --> 00:37:30,301
I don't need physics
from you guys right now.

645
00:37:30,334 --> 00:37:32,635
Physics.

646
00:37:37,274 --> 00:37:38,776
Fuck, yeah! Let's go!

647
00:37:39,509 --> 00:37:40,845
Oh, god!

648
00:37:45,349 --> 00:37:46,549
Ehren!

649
00:37:46,583 --> 00:37:48,285
What the fuck, dude!

650
00:37:49,286 --> 00:37:50,720
No, no, no, time out!

651
00:37:50,755 --> 00:37:54,025
Hey, ehren, no joke,
you're fucked.

652
00:37:54,058 --> 00:37:55,059
You're done.

653
00:37:56,927 --> 00:37:59,696
I'm here with professional
hockey player p.K. Subban.

654
00:37:59,729 --> 00:38:01,932
This is the hockey cup test.

655
00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:05,836
Yeah!

656
00:38:06,937 --> 00:38:08,005
Come on!

657
00:38:23,586 --> 00:38:25,356
<i>That was about
85 miles per hour.</i>

658
00:38:25,389 --> 00:38:27,958
<i>Oh, shit, man.
That fucking knocked me out.</i>

659
00:38:28,793 --> 00:38:31,694
What the fuck, man.
That was insane.

660
00:38:31,728 --> 00:38:33,464
Now I'm gonna go for your nuts.

661
00:38:33,497 --> 00:38:34,697
Oh, god.

662
00:38:36,233 --> 00:38:37,768
Fuck you, ehren!

663
00:38:50,448 --> 00:38:51,748
We got him!

664
00:38:52,249 --> 00:38:53,583
That a boy!

665
00:38:57,188 --> 00:39:01,125
We got the "whambulance" coming for
you if you don't get to this next bit.

666
00:39:01,158 --> 00:39:04,295
Hey, I'll tell you right now,
if the jokes continue

667
00:39:04,328 --> 00:39:05,896
I will stand up and walk away.

668
00:39:05,930 --> 00:39:08,099
He's going to
take his nuts and go home?

669
00:39:13,270 --> 00:39:16,240
- Sneak up on it.
- Teasing. He's teasing.

670
00:39:18,375 --> 00:39:19,609
Whoa!

671
00:39:22,179 --> 00:39:23,447
Perfect!

672
00:39:23,481 --> 00:39:25,249
- Oh!
- Oh, my goodness.

673
00:39:29,652 --> 00:39:30,921
Oh, dude!

674
00:39:31,755 --> 00:39:34,825
His nuts are bleeding.
We got blood.

675
00:39:34,859 --> 00:39:37,161
Dude. I'm sorry, dude.

676
00:39:37,194 --> 00:39:39,396
Fuck, this cup sucked.

677
00:39:40,931 --> 00:39:43,901
This is the worst
cup of them all.

678
00:39:43,934 --> 00:39:46,303
I'm starting to think
those cups don't work, dude.

679
00:39:48,205 --> 00:39:50,107
<i>That cup sucks.</i>

680
00:39:50,141 --> 00:39:52,610
<i>Yeah, it slipped down and
pinned your nuts to the ground.</i>

681
00:39:52,642 --> 00:39:54,879
Oh, my god!

682
00:39:55,745 --> 00:39:57,314
Fuck, dude.

683
00:39:58,115 --> 00:40:00,084
Oh. Ooh!

684
00:40:00,117 --> 00:40:02,453
Lance?

685
00:40:02,486 --> 00:40:03,720
How you doing, Lance?

686
00:40:06,790 --> 00:40:08,325
Let me have your camera, Lance.

687
00:40:12,296 --> 00:40:14,465
Can I get another mask?

688
00:40:14,498 --> 00:40:16,367
Can Lance get another mask?

689
00:40:19,036 --> 00:40:22,206
You guys got any predictions who
we might get today with this?

690
00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:24,775
I'm worried, like we've
been hitting the guys

691
00:40:24,808 --> 00:40:26,443
pretty hard all week so...

692
00:40:27,912 --> 00:40:30,414
Their nerves are
pretty well shot.

693
00:40:30,447 --> 00:40:33,683
If they do trust us
to go to the bathroom today,

694
00:40:33,716 --> 00:40:34,919
they're pretty...

695
00:40:36,287 --> 00:40:39,990
They're pretty less
intelligent than I thought.

696
00:40:40,024 --> 00:40:41,926
We're gonna build
cobra Kai dojos

697
00:40:41,959 --> 00:40:43,761
- all over this valley.
- Hell yeah, we are.

698
00:40:43,794 --> 00:40:46,363
- I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen...
- I'm gonna watch it.

699
00:40:46,397 --> 00:40:47,631
Miyagi, miyagi's dojo...

700
00:40:47,665 --> 00:40:49,633
Wee man would totally
be a cobra Kai.

701
00:40:49,667 --> 00:40:52,236
He's not even worried about it.

702
00:40:52,269 --> 00:40:53,771
Cobra Kai rules.

703
00:40:58,375 --> 00:41:00,578
Oh, yeah!

704
00:41:08,185 --> 00:41:09,887
- Oh.
- Wow!

705
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:12,923
- What happened?
- I don't know, dude.

706
00:41:12,957 --> 00:41:15,593
- Oh, my god.
- I was trying to take a shit.

707
00:41:17,294 --> 00:41:20,197
Even with an outbreak you're
still blowing people up.

708
00:41:21,432 --> 00:41:23,133
As if life is not hard enough.

709
00:41:27,004 --> 00:41:29,907
To fart or not to fart.
That is the question.

710
00:41:29,940 --> 00:41:32,276
Well, I hope to...

711
00:41:32,309 --> 00:41:35,913
'Cause we've been trying
to get this bit for 14 years,

712
00:41:35,946 --> 00:41:37,948
trying to light
a fart underwater.

713
00:41:38,616 --> 00:41:40,651
Since <i>jackass number two.</i>

714
00:41:40,684 --> 00:41:42,486
Get your fucking ass up there.

715
00:41:42,519 --> 00:41:44,021
Just let me do it, okay?

716
00:41:51,595 --> 00:41:54,131
Oh, god.
I didn't mean to do that.

717
00:41:54,164 --> 00:41:56,267
Who didn't see that coming?

718
00:41:56,300 --> 00:41:59,403
I'm very excited
because we are lighting

719
00:41:59,436 --> 00:42:01,972
the first ever fart underwater.

720
00:42:02,006 --> 00:42:04,108
And Tory belleci is here today

721
00:42:04,141 --> 00:42:05,843
to help us achieve our dream.

722
00:42:05,876 --> 00:42:07,845
It's good to have dreams.

723
00:42:07,878 --> 00:42:10,447
All right, so, somebody
is going to sit in the tank

724
00:42:10,481 --> 00:42:11,882
and when they fart,

725
00:42:11,915 --> 00:42:14,885
that glass dome is our
fart catcher, inside there,

726
00:42:14,918 --> 00:42:17,888
we have a little
bit of oxygen and a spark.

727
00:42:17,921 --> 00:42:19,690
And so hopefully,
once that methane gas

728
00:42:19,723 --> 00:42:21,825
gets caught in there,
it will ignite,

729
00:42:21,859 --> 00:42:25,396
and we'll get the underwater
exploding fart.

730
00:42:25,429 --> 00:42:27,374
- Yo, Steve-O, are you ready?
- You ready to make history?

731
00:42:27,398 --> 00:42:29,342
I'm ready to get in there
and just see what happens.

732
00:42:29,366 --> 00:42:31,702
Oh, my goodness,
we're about to make history

733
00:42:31,735 --> 00:42:32,870
with Steve-O.

734
00:42:32,903 --> 00:42:36,507
Okay, make sure
his feet look good.

735
00:42:36,540 --> 00:42:38,275
- Ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready.

736
00:42:38,309 --> 00:42:40,744
- It's in there, man.
- Remember to give us a countdown.

737
00:42:40,779 --> 00:42:41,979
It's in there.

738
00:42:42,713 --> 00:42:44,515
How was work today, honey?

739
00:42:50,187 --> 00:42:51,588
I know I'm gonna get it.

740
00:42:51,622 --> 00:42:52,656
Just relax.

741
00:42:52,690 --> 00:42:54,759
Ooooh!

742
00:42:54,793 --> 00:42:56,226
We got a fart!

743
00:42:57,928 --> 00:43:01,098
Oh, that was a huge one.

744
00:43:01,131 --> 00:43:03,209
- Wow. They're like ten, dude.
- They're perfect bombs.

745
00:43:03,233 --> 00:43:05,936
There's not enough
methane in his fart.

746
00:43:05,969 --> 00:43:08,105
<i>The spark in that bowl
is going nonstop though,</i>

747
00:43:08,138 --> 00:43:10,240
<i>so we just need to catch
enough farts.</i>

748
00:43:11,308 --> 00:43:12,811
Oooh!

749
00:43:12,843 --> 00:43:14,211
The farts aren't igniting.

750
00:43:14,244 --> 00:43:16,880
- We need an open flame.
- Yeah, bring it in.

751
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:23,187
This won't hurt a bit.

752
00:43:31,261 --> 00:43:32,329
Come on, o.

753
00:43:35,733 --> 00:43:36,801
There it goes. Catch it.

754
00:43:36,835 --> 00:43:38,535
Yeah. Get it. Get it!

755
00:43:45,743 --> 00:43:48,645
What was that?
Was that it? Was that it?

756
00:43:49,246 --> 00:43:50,147
- Yes!
- Dude!

757
00:43:50,180 --> 00:43:52,049
I'm not a fucking
scientist, man,

758
00:43:52,082 --> 00:43:54,084
but that sounded pretty sweet.

759
00:43:55,953 --> 00:43:57,187
How did that explode?

760
00:43:57,221 --> 00:43:59,423
The spark in the fart
catcher exploded it.

761
00:44:01,458 --> 00:44:04,595
<i>That fucking really
rocked my balls. That's for sure.</i>

762
00:44:08,499 --> 00:44:09,900
All right, jaws, you ready?

763
00:44:10,501 --> 00:44:11,502
Three.

764
00:44:12,503 --> 00:44:13,570
Two.

765
00:44:15,105 --> 00:44:16,340
One.

766
00:44:21,712 --> 00:44:23,414
- Jesus Christ!
- I got you.

767
00:44:23,447 --> 00:44:25,215
What the fuck!

768
00:44:25,249 --> 00:44:26,785
Dude, I was like, "catch him."

769
00:44:29,119 --> 00:44:30,587
- Wow.
- Are you okay?

770
00:44:30,621 --> 00:44:31,756
- Yeah.
- Yeah?

771
00:44:31,790 --> 00:44:33,724
Dude... where were you?

772
00:44:33,758 --> 00:44:35,092
I'm just... I...

773
00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:36,927
Where were you?

774
00:44:39,329 --> 00:44:40,697
What's going on, Jasper?

775
00:44:40,731 --> 00:44:43,367
So today we got my dad,
dark shark on set and honestly

776
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:45,569
- I don't think he's gonna like it.
- Why not?

777
00:44:45,602 --> 00:44:48,472
So you know my dad,
ex-convict, ex-gang banger,

778
00:44:48,505 --> 00:44:50,507
doesn't fear anything
except for like,

779
00:44:50,541 --> 00:44:53,143
he kinda doesn't
like bugs or spiders,

780
00:44:53,177 --> 00:44:55,746
cats, dogs, basically anything
that's not normal to the hood.

781
00:44:55,780 --> 00:44:57,181
So we're gonna fuck
with him today

782
00:44:57,214 --> 00:44:59,216
and it should be good.

783
00:44:59,249 --> 00:45:03,654
All right, this is dark shark,
our newest star, Jasper's dad.

784
00:45:03,687 --> 00:45:06,957
He's going to battle ehren
in the spider helmet.

785
00:45:06,990 --> 00:45:10,093
You look scareder than me
and this is your shit.

786
00:45:10,127 --> 00:45:11,728
Shall we begin taping, fellas?

787
00:45:11,763 --> 00:45:14,140
I'm gonna fuck you up, man.
You supposed to be having my back.

788
00:45:14,164 --> 00:45:16,400
- Not too tight.
- I got you a job!

789
00:45:16,433 --> 00:45:18,711
Don't do it. I'm telling you.
I'm gonna flip this chair over.

790
00:45:18,735 --> 00:45:20,070
I got you a job!

791
00:45:20,103 --> 00:45:21,681
If I flip the chair over,
that thing gonna bite me

792
00:45:21,705 --> 00:45:23,006
- if I flip the chair over?
- No.

793
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,975
No, you gotta be careful
with the spider.

794
00:45:25,008 --> 00:45:27,020
- Can't hurt the spider.
- I'm just worried about breathing, man.

795
00:45:27,044 --> 00:45:28,847
I don't even like
handcuffs on me no more.

796
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,056
Dude, I don't think we gotta...

797
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:31,748
Okay.
We're gonna leave the tape.

798
00:45:31,783 --> 00:45:32,951
You got it, dog.

799
00:45:32,983 --> 00:45:35,385
All right, here we go, fellas.

800
00:45:36,687 --> 00:45:38,823
- How is that?
- Oh shit, hell, nah.

801
00:45:38,857 --> 00:45:41,225
Okay. Oh, and by the
way, the loser has to take

802
00:45:41,258 --> 00:45:43,060
- the bite from the spider.
- What?

803
00:45:43,093 --> 00:45:44,695
Yeah.

804
00:45:44,728 --> 00:45:47,531
- Jules, can you bring in the spider?
- Love to.

805
00:45:47,564 --> 00:45:49,801
You got it, dark shark.
You got it, man.

806
00:45:49,834 --> 00:45:52,102
This one is an absolute bastard.

807
00:45:52,135 --> 00:45:53,704
Oh, hell, nah.

808
00:45:53,737 --> 00:45:56,173
All right. Let's go.

809
00:45:56,206 --> 00:45:58,575
On the count of three.
One, two, three.

810
00:46:05,817 --> 00:46:07,651
Don't move, dark shark.

811
00:46:09,052 --> 00:46:10,822
Dark shark, stay down.

812
00:46:14,591 --> 00:46:16,159
Oh, shit!

813
00:46:16,928 --> 00:46:18,462
Chill, chill, chill!

814
00:46:19,864 --> 00:46:22,399
You got it, chill!

815
00:46:24,601 --> 00:46:26,136
It's not goin' touch you.

816
00:46:28,639 --> 00:46:31,041
Ow! Ow!

817
00:46:36,346 --> 00:46:39,249
Dark shark,
why are you pulling on me?

818
00:46:39,283 --> 00:46:40,417
I think he passed out.

819
00:46:40,450 --> 00:46:42,519
Dark shark, you gotta let go!

820
00:46:42,553 --> 00:46:46,089
- You gotta let go! Sit down. Calm down.
- There you go.

821
00:46:46,123 --> 00:46:48,392
- Oh, my god.
- Don't hurt the spider.

822
00:46:48,425 --> 00:46:50,962
Dark shark, if you let go
of me I will get the spider out.

823
00:46:50,995 --> 00:46:53,130
- Who is that?
- It's Johnny.

824
00:46:53,163 --> 00:46:55,265
- There you go.
- We all day. Guess what?

825
00:46:55,299 --> 00:46:57,134
Okay, I'll get it.

826
00:46:57,167 --> 00:46:58,535
I'm gonna pull him out.

827
00:46:59,536 --> 00:47:02,172
- He's out, he's out, he's out.
- He's out!

828
00:47:02,874 --> 00:47:06,076
All right, we have our winner.

829
00:47:06,109 --> 00:47:08,245
Dark shark!

830
00:47:08,278 --> 00:47:10,714
How the fuck
is he gonna be the winner?

831
00:47:10,747 --> 00:47:12,082
- Oh, no.
- Get it off me.

832
00:47:12,115 --> 00:47:13,483
How is he the winner?

833
00:47:13,517 --> 00:47:15,218
Ehren has to take
a bite from the spider.

834
00:47:15,252 --> 00:47:17,454
- I didn't do anything. Jesus.
- This man was brave.

835
00:47:17,487 --> 00:47:21,926
- Brave? The spider went in his helmet!
- Great job, dark shark.

836
00:47:25,596 --> 00:47:27,598
And I was like,
it was either my life or yours.

837
00:47:27,631 --> 00:47:30,334
I was like, fuck your life.
I was like, man.

838
00:47:30,367 --> 00:47:32,736
I'm tapped out, out here
and still I was like,

839
00:47:32,770 --> 00:47:34,237
I feel like grabbing his ass.

840
00:47:34,271 --> 00:47:35,873
The bastard.

841
00:47:35,907 --> 00:47:37,474
So where should it bite him?

842
00:47:37,507 --> 00:47:39,576
Just do it on my arm. It's fine.

843
00:47:39,610 --> 00:47:41,879
- Well...
- Have it crawl onto my arm.

844
00:47:41,913 --> 00:47:43,180
- Nipples!
- I just won't do it.

845
00:47:43,213 --> 00:47:45,716
Nipple. I like nipple. Nipple.

846
00:47:45,749 --> 00:47:47,651
Just give it, just do a boob.

847
00:47:47,684 --> 00:47:48,886
All right. Fine.

848
00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,322
Nipple, no. Boob, sure.

849
00:47:53,724 --> 00:47:55,659
Is he gonna bite him for real?

850
00:47:55,692 --> 00:47:58,763
- Oh, my god.
- Oh, yeah, your man titties are looking dope.

851
00:47:58,796 --> 00:47:59,897
Oh, man.

852
00:47:59,931 --> 00:48:01,966
Oh, my god. Look at his fangs.

853
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:03,433
I don't wanna see the fangs.

854
00:48:03,467 --> 00:48:05,135
Make sure ehren sees the fangs.

855
00:48:05,168 --> 00:48:06,536
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute!

856
00:48:06,570 --> 00:48:09,040
No, you, no. Ehren lay down.

857
00:48:09,073 --> 00:48:11,042
- Wait a minute.
- Oh, look at the venom!

858
00:48:11,075 --> 00:48:13,020
- I'll show you the venom while it's there.
- Yeah.

859
00:48:13,044 --> 00:48:14,611
Oh, my god.

860
00:48:14,645 --> 00:48:16,513
Here, hold my hand,
Steve-O. Hold my hand.

861
00:48:16,546 --> 00:48:19,282
- Hold my hand, Steve-O.
- Hold his hand, Steve-O.

862
00:48:19,316 --> 00:48:22,686
- Pierce that nipple.
- One, two, three.

863
00:48:23,988 --> 00:48:25,656
Shit!

864
00:48:28,325 --> 00:48:30,895
- Oh, shit!
- Stay, stay.

865
00:48:30,928 --> 00:48:32,162
<i>Did it go in or no?</i>

866
00:48:32,195 --> 00:48:33,765
<i>- Oh, yeah.
- Fuckin' went in.</i>

867
00:48:33,798 --> 00:48:36,366
<i>You went from a
triple a to a b on this side.</i>

868
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:38,201
<i>Yeah, ehren.</i>

869
00:48:39,269 --> 00:48:41,471
Watch out, ehren!

870
00:48:41,505 --> 00:48:43,407
Oh, my god,
I thought it was the real thing.

871
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,308
I'm done! I'm done! I can't.

872
00:48:45,843 --> 00:48:46,978
I'm outta here.

873
00:48:47,011 --> 00:48:48,880
No more of this spider crap.
I'm out.

874
00:48:56,788 --> 00:48:58,255
Excuse me, ma'am?

875
00:48:58,288 --> 00:49:01,258
I need to get my basket
closer to this pole.

876
00:49:01,291 --> 00:49:02,726
Do you think
you can help me, ma'am?

877
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:07,065
- Sure.
- There's a red handle at the back of this truck.

878
00:49:07,098 --> 00:49:08,900
It's more of a pinky orange.

879
00:49:08,933 --> 00:49:11,936
- This one?
- Yeah, just pull back on it just a little.

880
00:49:11,969 --> 00:49:13,838
Wait, should I do reverse?

881
00:49:13,871 --> 00:49:16,074
Yeah, do the reverse.

882
00:49:16,107 --> 00:49:18,475
Yeah, no, no!
Oh, that was... noooo!

883
00:49:18,508 --> 00:49:20,210
Oh, why did you hit the red one?

884
00:49:20,243 --> 00:49:22,046
Ow! Ow!

885
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:23,114
Help!

886
00:49:23,147 --> 00:49:24,849
- Help!
- Help me!

887
00:49:24,882 --> 00:49:26,349
Hit the lever! Hit the lever!

888
00:49:26,383 --> 00:49:27,952
Hit the blue! Hit the override!

889
00:49:27,985 --> 00:49:29,821
I don't know where the blue is?

890
00:49:29,854 --> 00:49:31,122
Are you color blind?

891
00:49:31,155 --> 00:49:34,125
- Please, help me!
- I'm trying to help you, sir!

892
00:49:34,158 --> 00:49:36,226
Just do the override
like it says!

893
00:49:36,259 --> 00:49:38,162
It doesn't say shit here!

894
00:49:38,196 --> 00:49:40,798
Pop to the right, then slide!

895
00:49:40,832 --> 00:49:42,399
Pop and slide!

896
00:49:44,534 --> 00:49:46,737
You just got me electrocuted!

897
00:49:46,771 --> 00:49:49,040
Oh, my ass!

898
00:49:49,073 --> 00:49:51,675
- You forgot the slide.
- God, bless!

899
00:49:51,708 --> 00:49:53,878
I don't want to touch anything
because I don't know...

900
00:49:53,911 --> 00:49:56,580
You gotta touch something!
I gotta get down from here!

901
00:49:56,613 --> 00:49:59,349
- Which one?
- Well, don't hit the ones you been hitting!

902
00:49:59,382 --> 00:50:01,618
'Cause you've been
hitting the wrong ones!

903
00:50:01,651 --> 00:50:04,654
- I don't know what I'm doing.
- Well, clearly!

904
00:50:06,289 --> 00:50:08,793
Did you see <i>dirty dancing?</i>

905
00:50:08,826 --> 00:50:11,495
No. The old one,
you mean with the chair?

906
00:50:11,528 --> 00:50:12,897
- The only one.
- Yeah.

907
00:50:12,930 --> 00:50:13,965
Yeah.

908
00:50:13,998 --> 00:50:15,066
That's <i>flashdance.</i>

909
00:50:15,099 --> 00:50:16,500
Oh, <i>flashdance</i>
is what I'm thinking.

910
00:50:16,533 --> 00:50:18,544
<i>Dirty dancing</i> with Jennifer
grey and Patrick Swayze.

911
00:50:18,568 --> 00:50:21,505
For the final dance
she runs at them.

912
00:50:21,538 --> 00:50:23,007
She runs to Patrick Swayze

913
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:26,676
- and he catches her and he lifts her off the ground.
- Okay.

914
00:50:26,710 --> 00:50:28,989
- Can you do that with Preston?
- I think I could do it with Preston.

915
00:50:29,013 --> 00:50:32,282
Yeah, work it out a little bit.
I want more than just a big jump.

916
00:50:35,987 --> 00:50:38,555
Oh, my god. I just shit my pants.

917
00:50:38,588 --> 00:50:41,525
- Shut up.
- You're joking, right?

918
00:50:42,559 --> 00:50:44,594
Did you really?

919
00:50:44,628 --> 00:50:47,765
I just shit my pants.
I just shit my fucking pants.

920
00:50:47,799 --> 00:50:50,433
- He did. He really did.
- I just shit my pants.

921
00:50:50,467 --> 00:50:51,969
I fucking shit my pants.

922
00:50:52,003 --> 00:50:53,503
- Why did you?
- Oh, my god.

923
00:50:53,537 --> 00:50:55,672
- Why did you shit your...
- I didn't mean to.

924
00:50:56,673 --> 00:50:57,809
Oh, man.

925
00:50:58,776 --> 00:51:00,477
Technically, you shit our pants.

926
00:51:00,510 --> 00:51:03,915
The show must go on.
I don't see how that stops this.

927
00:51:03,948 --> 00:51:06,150
Let's go on.

928
00:51:06,184 --> 00:51:07,651
Ah, it's so gross.

929
00:51:07,684 --> 00:51:10,520
- Ah, dude.
- It's so fucking gross.

930
00:51:10,554 --> 00:51:14,724
You're full of shit.

931
00:51:14,759 --> 00:51:17,727
I should not have ate Indian
and Cuban food in the same day.

932
00:51:19,496 --> 00:51:23,000
We might be losing Lance again.

933
00:51:26,237 --> 00:51:27,437
Oh, my goodness.

934
00:51:27,470 --> 00:51:28,973
Oh, yuck.

935
00:51:29,841 --> 00:51:31,809
Oh, my god!

936
00:51:32,342 --> 00:51:34,344
I'm a grown man.

937
00:51:34,377 --> 00:51:36,413
I'm fucking 51 years old.

938
00:51:36,446 --> 00:51:38,448
Lance, we need
a closer shot of it.

939
00:51:39,083 --> 00:51:41,384
Oh! Oh, yuck.

940
00:51:43,420 --> 00:51:46,556
Preston should have pooped
before he came to work today.

941
00:51:46,590 --> 00:51:49,593
Fail to prepare.
Prepare to fail. Hmm.

942
00:51:51,028 --> 00:51:52,029
Marker.

943
00:51:54,031 --> 00:51:55,665
Hello, my name's
Johnny Knoxville

944
00:51:55,699 --> 00:51:57,400
and this is the marching band.

945
00:52:00,271 --> 00:52:02,372
Ladies!

946
00:52:22,193 --> 00:52:23,526
Ugh!

947
00:52:24,394 --> 00:52:26,163
That happened so fast!

948
00:52:29,100 --> 00:52:30,567
Damn, I got a hard head.

949
00:52:32,103 --> 00:52:33,503
Oh, my god. You all right?

950
00:52:33,536 --> 00:52:36,439
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Oh, my god. He's bleeding.

951
00:52:36,473 --> 00:52:38,309
My hair line is receding.

952
00:52:38,342 --> 00:52:39,609
Steve-O, are you okay?

953
00:52:40,710 --> 00:52:42,179
You all right, Steve-O?

954
00:52:42,213 --> 00:52:43,314
- Oh, dude.
- Yo, you okay?

955
00:52:43,347 --> 00:52:44,614
Holy shit.

956
00:52:47,318 --> 00:52:49,854
Man, that happened fast.

957
00:52:52,924 --> 00:52:56,394
All that practicing,
right out the window.

958
00:52:56,426 --> 00:52:59,931
I feel like I'm coming back to myself.
I can't remember nothing.

959
00:53:01,032 --> 00:53:03,267
- I didn't wimp out, did I?
- No, you didn't.

960
00:53:03,301 --> 00:53:05,937
You still got those million
dollar teeth, that's for sure.

961
00:53:10,374 --> 00:53:12,442
They're dropping like flies.

962
00:53:15,478 --> 00:53:17,090
I never know what to say
to Rick's camera.

963
00:53:17,114 --> 00:53:20,351
I feel like, I'm just like,
ah ha, man, I'm on <i>jackass.</i>

964
00:53:20,384 --> 00:53:21,886
This is sick.

965
00:53:21,919 --> 00:53:25,790
I'm in the TV show
I used to watch, man.

966
00:53:25,823 --> 00:53:28,491
Everything I say is gonna end up
on the cutting room floor anyways.

967
00:53:28,525 --> 00:53:29,994
So it doesn't matter.

968
00:53:33,264 --> 00:53:34,932
- Hey, how you doin'?
- Hi.

969
00:53:34,966 --> 00:53:36,801
- Can I get a cold brew?
- Yeah, of course.

970
00:53:36,834 --> 00:53:37,935
Thanks.

971
00:53:42,206 --> 00:53:43,740
Do you mind if I get a photo?

972
00:53:43,774 --> 00:53:45,943
- Sure.
- I'm a big fan.

973
00:53:54,852 --> 00:53:56,053
Oh, my god!

974
00:54:01,392 --> 00:54:02,994
What did you guys do to Eric?

975
00:54:03,027 --> 00:54:06,663
Fuck, everything was perfect.
I was like,

976
00:54:06,696 --> 00:54:08,698
cold brew coffee, all right.

977
00:54:09,967 --> 00:54:11,634
Yes, please.

978
00:54:11,668 --> 00:54:14,038
"A picture? Okay, yeah, sure."

979
00:54:14,071 --> 00:54:15,773
Motherfucker.

980
00:54:40,231 --> 00:54:42,199
- What happened?
- What do you mean?

981
00:54:42,233 --> 00:54:43,968
He just got his nuts beat up.

982
00:54:44,869 --> 00:54:46,569
His balls are in his tummy.

983
00:54:46,603 --> 00:54:50,307
Oh. Ah, god damn it hurts.

984
00:54:50,341 --> 00:54:51,809
I think we gotta go one more.

985
00:54:55,046 --> 00:54:56,347
Can you do one more?

986
00:54:56,380 --> 00:54:58,215
Jeff said he needs one more.

987
00:55:00,751 --> 00:55:02,820
Hey, wee man,
help him get through that hole.

988
00:55:03,954 --> 00:55:05,423
I'll guide.

989
00:55:05,456 --> 00:55:07,425
They're not hanging as low as
they were.

990
00:55:07,458 --> 00:55:08,926
- Can you blame him?
- No.

991
00:55:08,959 --> 00:55:10,428
I'm getting 'em right now.

992
00:55:10,461 --> 00:55:12,695
Ehren "fluffer" mcghehey.

993
00:55:13,097 --> 00:55:15,232
Oh, my god.

994
00:55:16,666 --> 00:55:19,602
- Oh, fuck, it hurts.
- Hold on, get ready.

995
00:55:20,703 --> 00:55:23,074
- Okay, there.
- Here we go. Here we go.

996
00:55:24,508 --> 00:55:26,043
- Now we're primed.
- One more time.

997
00:55:26,077 --> 00:55:28,279
Ah, fuck you.

998
00:55:31,015 --> 00:55:32,582
You ready? Action.

999
00:55:33,284 --> 00:55:34,318
Everybody shut up!

1000
00:55:35,119 --> 00:55:36,153
Boxer.

1001
00:55:40,690 --> 00:55:42,326
Oh, Preston.

1002
00:55:47,832 --> 00:55:51,268
Here with Steve-O and our
special handsome guest star,

1003
00:55:51,302 --> 00:55:52,635
machine gun Kelly.

1004
00:55:52,669 --> 00:55:54,704
This is the bicycle backhand

1005
00:55:54,737 --> 00:55:56,606
and it's a competition.

1006
00:55:56,639 --> 00:55:59,543
The faster you pedal your bike

1007
00:55:59,577 --> 00:56:02,546
the faster the other guy's
hand goes back.

1008
00:56:02,580 --> 00:56:04,014
And when it gets
to a certain point,

1009
00:56:04,048 --> 00:56:06,016
boom, someone's gonna
get launched.

1010
00:56:06,584 --> 00:56:08,519
You might be younger,

1011
00:56:08,552 --> 00:56:10,921
taller, better looking, richer,

1012
00:56:10,955 --> 00:56:13,190
more talented,
but, motherfucker,

1013
00:56:13,224 --> 00:56:14,325
I can ride.

1014
00:56:15,392 --> 00:56:17,294
Steve-O's just eat up with envy.

1015
00:56:20,297 --> 00:56:22,632
Charlie, can you push that
hand in a little closer?

1016
00:56:22,665 --> 00:56:25,069
Okay, I'm gonna push this
forward a little.

1017
00:56:25,102 --> 00:56:27,538
Oh, shit!

1018
00:56:27,571 --> 00:56:30,141
What the fuck?

1019
00:56:30,174 --> 00:56:32,675
No one fucking even touched it.

1020
00:56:33,110 --> 00:56:34,945
Oops. Oops.

1021
00:56:36,981 --> 00:56:38,983
It happened so fast.

1022
00:56:39,617 --> 00:56:41,051
Holy shit.

1023
00:56:42,652 --> 00:56:44,255
Oh, my god, dude.

1024
00:56:46,757 --> 00:56:48,392
Dry off, Steve-O,
it's going again.

1025
00:56:51,028 --> 00:56:52,997
<i>Charlie just
touched it, it went boom.</i>

1026
00:56:54,731 --> 00:56:57,067
<i>And now Steve-O
has to do it twice.</i>

1027
00:56:58,469 --> 00:56:59,904
Um, we ready?

1028
00:57:01,205 --> 00:57:02,506
On your marks...

1029
00:57:02,540 --> 00:57:03,574
Get set...

1030
00:57:03,607 --> 00:57:04,875
Go!

1031
00:57:04,909 --> 00:57:06,544
Pedal! Pedal! Pedal!

1032
00:57:06,577 --> 00:57:08,612
Oh, you got this!

1033
00:57:12,249 --> 00:57:14,118
Keep going! Keep going!

1034
00:57:14,151 --> 00:57:15,152
Pedal!

1035
00:57:17,555 --> 00:57:18,989
He's got 'em!

1036
00:57:20,591 --> 00:57:24,028
Steve-O's winning.

1037
00:57:24,061 --> 00:57:25,563
I don't know. I don't know!

1038
00:57:25,596 --> 00:57:26,931
Head up! Head up!

1039
00:57:26,964 --> 00:57:28,265
Don't gas out, Steve-O.

1040
00:57:28,299 --> 00:57:30,733
- Steve-O, you got it.
- You got it!

1041
00:57:34,471 --> 00:57:36,473
Oh, god. It's so cold!

1042
00:57:39,843 --> 00:57:41,345
Bunny, help him.

1043
00:57:42,313 --> 00:57:43,881
The water's so fucking cold.

1044
00:57:43,914 --> 00:57:45,583
Save me motherfucker, fuck.

1045
00:57:45,616 --> 00:57:47,151
I need a towel.

1046
00:57:48,552 --> 00:57:50,988
I totally forgot
I was a lifeguard.

1047
00:57:51,021 --> 00:57:53,023
Dude, it's so cold.
That hurt so bad.

1048
00:57:53,591 --> 00:57:54,892
You got towels? Okay.

1049
00:57:54,925 --> 00:57:57,061
He's in shock right now,
look at his face.

1050
00:57:57,094 --> 00:57:58,028
Yeah, dude.

1051
00:57:58,062 --> 00:58:00,197
I thought my hand was your hand.

1052
00:58:04,068 --> 00:58:06,003
Maybe I didn't explain it right.

1053
00:58:06,036 --> 00:58:09,106
Dude, you said it wasn't gonna
feel like anything.

1054
00:58:09,139 --> 00:58:10,784
<i>What hurt worse,
the cold water or the hand?</i>

1055
00:58:10,808 --> 00:58:12,742
<i>It was the hand. That was harsh.</i>

1056
00:58:13,711 --> 00:58:14,979
<i>I was in the water like...</i>

1057
00:58:15,479 --> 00:58:16,547
<i>Oh, I'm dead.</i>

1058
00:58:16,580 --> 00:58:17,982
<i>That really worked.</i>

1059
00:58:21,385 --> 00:58:22,586
How did you beat me?

1060
00:58:22,620 --> 00:58:24,288
I don't know, dude.
I don't know, man.

1061
00:58:24,321 --> 00:58:28,359
I was coming off my pedals,
it was not my strongest performance.

1062
00:58:28,392 --> 00:58:29,593
Yours was really bad.

1063
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,969
I don't know what's
worse, the wedgie or these

1064
00:58:39,003 --> 00:58:42,106
junkyard mattresses
you gotta land on?

1065
00:58:42,139 --> 00:58:44,375
Look at that
pee-stained one right there.

1066
00:58:44,408 --> 00:58:45,876
Ew, dude.

1067
00:58:45,909 --> 00:58:48,445
Who do you think's more
afraid of being at that height?

1068
00:58:49,179 --> 00:58:50,281
Preston or Zach?

1069
00:58:50,314 --> 00:58:51,982
How are you with heights, Zach?

1070
00:58:52,016 --> 00:58:55,953
I already hate this.

1071
00:58:55,986 --> 00:58:59,758
I'm wee man, and this
is the triple wedgie.

1072
00:58:59,790 --> 00:59:05,062
All right.
Three, two, one. Jump!

1073
00:59:13,237 --> 00:59:15,572
Okay! Put me down!

1074
00:59:15,606 --> 00:59:17,207
Shit, put me down!

1075
00:59:21,578 --> 00:59:24,048
My nuts!

1076
00:59:27,752 --> 00:59:29,353
Well, that went well.

1077
00:59:32,823 --> 00:59:35,125
<i>A little angel
hanging in the air.</i>

1078
00:59:38,962 --> 00:59:41,598
Hollywood has long put
tremendous pressure on women

1079
00:59:41,632 --> 00:59:43,167
to look youthful and sexy.

1080
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:45,436
And sometimes, the only way
to do that is with a team

1081
00:59:45,469 --> 00:59:50,374
of medical professionals
and venomous insects.

1082
00:59:51,909 --> 00:59:54,845
I'm Rachel,
and this is scorpion Botox.

1083
00:59:56,914 --> 00:59:59,016
This is actually
my first time performing

1084
00:59:59,049 --> 01:00:01,051
this procedure.
To be honest with you.

1085
01:00:01,085 --> 01:00:03,153
Oh, my god.
That stinger is huge.

1086
01:00:04,288 --> 01:00:06,825
Pontius, I'm trusting you
with my lips.

1087
01:00:06,857 --> 01:00:08,292
You can trust me, I'm a doctor.

1088
01:00:09,993 --> 01:00:12,396
You want to just put him
on my mouth

1089
01:00:12,429 --> 01:00:13,597
and then fuck with him?

1090
01:00:14,799 --> 01:00:16,801
- Past her lip.
- Ooh!

1091
01:00:16,835 --> 01:00:18,435
Unh-unh. Unh-unh.

1092
01:00:18,469 --> 01:00:21,105
Just relax
and enjoy the procedure.

1093
01:00:22,039 --> 01:00:24,508
- Oh, he's on.
- Oh, no.

1094
01:00:28,879 --> 01:00:29,913
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my...

1095
01:00:29,947 --> 01:00:32,116
Ow!

1096
01:00:32,149 --> 01:00:34,051
- Boob job!
- I don't want it on my boobs!

1097
01:00:34,084 --> 01:00:36,129
I can't take him off your boob
unless you give me permission.

1098
01:00:36,153 --> 01:00:37,856
Permission!

1099
01:00:37,888 --> 01:00:39,824
Consent!

1100
01:00:39,858 --> 01:00:41,525
I'm giving you consent!

1101
01:00:42,993 --> 01:00:45,429
- 21st century, people.
- Yeah.

1102
01:00:45,462 --> 01:00:47,064
All right,
time to get stung in the face.

1103
01:00:47,097 --> 01:00:49,666
- Whoa.
- This is intense.

1104
01:00:53,003 --> 01:00:55,239
- Good job. Good job.
- He got it on my lip.

1105
01:00:55,272 --> 01:00:58,375
You're ready for the red carpet.

1106
01:00:58,409 --> 01:01:01,813
Oh, shit. He's angry.

1107
01:01:01,846 --> 01:01:04,448
- Oh, shit!
- Whoa!

1108
01:01:04,481 --> 01:01:05,983
God dammit, doctor.

1109
01:01:11,288 --> 01:01:13,257
He definitely stung my chin.

1110
01:01:13,290 --> 01:01:15,894
Came for lips
and left with a new chin.

1111
01:01:15,926 --> 01:01:17,394
Do you feel sexier?

1112
01:01:17,428 --> 01:01:20,264
I'm feeling sexier by the minute.

1113
01:01:20,297 --> 01:01:22,132
- Do you have one more in you?
- Yeah, sure.

1114
01:01:22,166 --> 01:01:23,902
Let's make it count.

1115
01:01:23,934 --> 01:01:26,236
- He's coming.
- You got it, doc.

1116
01:01:31,041 --> 01:01:33,878
Oh, my god,
that hurt so fucking bad.

1117
01:01:33,912 --> 01:01:36,980
- Oh, my god, that hurt so bad.
- It's true, it got her good.

1118
01:01:37,014 --> 01:01:39,283
<i>That hurt bad.</i>

1119
01:01:39,316 --> 01:01:41,786
<i>Oh, shit.</i>

1120
01:01:41,820 --> 01:01:44,321
Her lips are really
swollen now. That shit worked.

1121
01:01:44,354 --> 01:01:47,057
Oh, my lip is so fucked up,
you guys.

1122
01:01:47,090 --> 01:01:48,258
I feel fucked up.

1123
01:01:48,292 --> 01:01:50,027
But she looks great.

1124
01:01:56,099 --> 01:01:58,368
- Whoa, a VCR.
- Huh?

1125
01:01:58,402 --> 01:01:59,871
A VCR.

1126
01:01:59,904 --> 01:02:02,206
So that's
a blast from the past, huh?

1127
01:02:02,506 --> 01:02:03,507
Bam!

1128
01:02:06,743 --> 01:02:09,246
Ah, that will work.

1129
01:02:16,653 --> 01:02:18,722
Dang.

1130
01:02:21,558 --> 01:02:24,328
Oh. Oh, my god.

1131
01:02:27,064 --> 01:02:28,499
Whoa! What?

1132
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:32,837
- What the hell?
- What the fuck!

1133
01:02:32,871 --> 01:02:34,304
What happened?

1134
01:02:35,405 --> 01:02:38,509
Holy crap, I fell on my face.

1135
01:02:38,542 --> 01:02:41,078
- Are you okay?
- I'm okay, I just don't understand.

1136
01:02:41,111 --> 01:02:43,380
I don't understand why
you were using the toilet.

1137
01:02:43,413 --> 01:02:47,785
How did you end up here?
And you just took a shit...

1138
01:02:47,819 --> 01:02:50,287
<i>- I didn't take anything.
- That was insane.</i>

1139
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:52,089
<i>What kind of person are you?</i>

1140
01:02:54,358 --> 01:02:58,061
We have every available fan
in Los Angeles on set today.

1141
01:02:58,095 --> 01:03:00,798
The two in the middle
go 100 miles an hour.

1142
01:03:00,832 --> 01:03:05,302
I'm Jasper, and I'm about to take
this gold chair to the fucking moon.

1143
01:03:13,912 --> 01:03:15,412
Oh!

1144
01:03:17,982 --> 01:03:20,584
Oh! Oh! Oh!

1145
01:03:24,756 --> 01:03:26,456
Oh, my god!

1146
01:03:27,691 --> 01:03:29,226
Oh, my god!

1147
01:03:32,095 --> 01:03:34,131
We have a winner!

1148
01:03:38,168 --> 01:03:39,536
<i>Holy shit.</i>

1149
01:03:39,570 --> 01:03:41,738
<i>Oh, fuck. I want to go again.</i>

1150
01:03:43,607 --> 01:03:47,678
Now it's time for some
hot-shit water-skiing. Brah!

1151
01:04:00,223 --> 01:04:02,693
We need a medic. Medic!

1152
01:04:04,428 --> 01:04:08,365
- Poops, you launched.
- Shit!

1153
01:04:08,398 --> 01:04:12,436
- Fuck, dude.
- Dude. Poopies! Poopies!

1154
01:04:12,703 --> 01:04:14,072
Poopies!

1155
01:04:16,139 --> 01:04:18,542
- Yeah.
- Yeah, poopies!

1156
01:04:19,142 --> 01:04:20,377
It worked!

1157
01:04:28,251 --> 01:04:30,420
Oh, shit!

1158
01:04:31,055 --> 01:04:32,689
Dude.

1159
01:04:36,861 --> 01:04:38,295
Quiet, please! Filming.

1160
01:04:38,328 --> 01:04:41,899
Milk, milk, lemonade,
turn the corner and fudge is made.

1161
01:04:41,933 --> 01:04:45,103
Stick your finger in the hole.
Now you've got a tootsie...

1162
01:04:47,105 --> 01:04:49,040
Hey, quiet please, quiet please.

1163
01:04:49,073 --> 01:04:54,277
Everybody quiet.
So he can sing "milk, milk, lemonade."

1164
01:04:56,080 --> 01:04:57,915
Okay this is serious.
Everybody shut up.

1165
01:04:59,182 --> 01:05:00,885
All right, let's get some smoke.

1166
01:05:07,157 --> 01:05:12,396
Behold, our twisted souls have come to the
garden of death to dine with the devil.

1167
01:05:12,429 --> 01:05:17,267
It's time to sacrifice wee man's
juicy ass to the raptor from hell.

1168
01:05:18,669 --> 01:05:20,872
- Oh.
- Looking good.

1169
01:05:22,172 --> 01:05:26,576
- Assume the position.
- Which way? This way?

1170
01:05:28,512 --> 01:05:30,081
Just have fun with it.

1171
01:05:33,583 --> 01:05:35,086
What do you have in there?

1172
01:05:35,119 --> 01:05:37,621
- Just me!
- That's not just you.

1173
01:05:37,654 --> 01:05:38,722
Go ahead.

1174
01:05:39,556 --> 01:05:41,793
Is that? Wait, I'm not...

1175
01:05:41,826 --> 01:05:44,261
That's him!

1176
01:05:44,294 --> 01:05:47,731
When the beast
awakens, the monster arises.

1177
01:05:50,567 --> 01:05:51,468
Touche.

1178
01:05:51,501 --> 01:05:54,471
All right, whoa, dude, whoa!

1179
01:05:54,504 --> 01:05:56,174
Stuff it in his butt
and let's go.

1180
01:06:00,644 --> 01:06:03,981
Okay, there's enough meat there.

1181
01:06:09,352 --> 01:06:11,055
And a cherry on top.

1182
01:06:14,125 --> 01:06:16,560
Let the unholy sacrament begin.

1183
01:06:16,593 --> 01:06:19,831
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, my god!

1184
01:06:19,864 --> 01:06:21,665
Ah, fuck!

1185
01:06:22,332 --> 01:06:23,633
Come.

1186
01:06:26,204 --> 01:06:28,705
Oh, okay!

1187
01:06:28,739 --> 01:06:31,475
- You got this.
- Oh, no!

1188
01:06:31,843 --> 01:06:33,343
Oh, shit!

1189
01:06:34,178 --> 01:06:36,114
Feast on his cock.

1190
01:06:42,153 --> 01:06:44,621
All right! All right!

1191
01:06:46,523 --> 01:06:49,493
Stop, man. Stop, don't do that.

1192
01:06:49,526 --> 01:06:53,998
As the blood rushes to the mast,
the beast awakens from his ancient slumber.

1193
01:07:02,840 --> 01:07:05,176
- He's bleeding.
- Fuck. Come on.

1194
01:07:05,209 --> 01:07:06,878
The beast has drawn blood.

1195
01:07:06,911 --> 01:07:10,114
Jeff. Jeff, can I get out?

1196
01:07:10,148 --> 01:07:11,681
In a second. In a second.

1197
01:07:11,715 --> 01:07:14,651
- Jeff.
- I would, but the bird's right here.

1198
01:07:14,684 --> 01:07:17,387
We're trying to get you
untied but the bird's here.

1199
01:07:17,420 --> 01:07:20,357
Before he returns to
hell, it's time for dessert.

1200
01:07:20,390 --> 01:07:21,691
Come on, let's go.

1201
01:07:25,395 --> 01:07:27,865
- Fuck!
- Don't kick the bird, wee man.

1202
01:07:27,899 --> 01:07:29,299
I didn't kick the bird!

1203
01:07:29,332 --> 01:07:30,835
It was the bird.

1204
01:07:30,868 --> 01:07:33,871
- Okay, let me out.
- Let him out.

1205
01:07:37,340 --> 01:07:40,278
Well, let's not let
this meat go to waste.

1206
01:07:40,310 --> 01:07:42,079
- Dark shark?
- Shut up.

1207
01:07:42,113 --> 01:07:46,117
Hell, no, I ain't going near
none of that. Hell, nah.

1208
01:07:46,150 --> 01:07:47,717
Look at that motherfucker.

1209
01:07:47,752 --> 01:07:49,719
Dark shark, come on,
just put it on your arm.

1210
01:07:49,754 --> 01:07:51,688
Hell, nah, are you crazy?

1211
01:07:51,721 --> 01:07:53,557
- Yeah, dark shark.
- Come on!

1212
01:07:53,590 --> 01:07:55,960
- Dark shark!
- Yeah!

1213
01:08:02,233 --> 01:08:05,937
- Hold your arm straight.
- Look at the camera.

1214
01:08:08,638 --> 01:08:10,808
Don't move. Don't move.

1215
01:08:10,842 --> 01:08:12,642
- Don't move.
- Stand still.

1216
01:08:12,676 --> 01:08:14,111
Ow! He's biting my arm!

1217
01:08:14,145 --> 01:08:15,847
- No, he's not.
- He's clasping your arm.

1218
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:19,817
- Look at Rick! Look at Rick!
- He's too heavy! Get him off me!

1219
01:08:32,129 --> 01:08:35,565
Hey. Feel that shit, man. That
motherfucker was trying to hurt me, man.

1220
01:08:36,733 --> 01:08:39,703
I'm kind of embarrassed
right now. Like...

1221
01:08:40,838 --> 01:08:43,673
I came out of his penis, man.
That's how he acting?

1222
01:08:45,442 --> 01:08:47,044
Hood card taken away.

1223
01:08:50,413 --> 01:08:53,851
We have 15 gallons of pig semen.

1224
01:08:53,885 --> 01:08:57,420
Turns out, pigs produce the
most semen of any animal.

1225
01:08:57,454 --> 01:09:00,557
Up to 17 ounces a load.

1226
01:09:00,590 --> 01:09:05,162
And the guys are going to think they
are getting interviewed about the movie.

1227
01:09:05,196 --> 01:09:08,933
And while they're sitting
there, something may happen.

1228
01:09:10,801 --> 01:09:13,603
There's crust on top of it.

1229
01:09:13,637 --> 01:09:17,775
Harvested gallons and gallons
of this. Does it smell like pig semen?

1230
01:09:17,808 --> 01:09:18,809
Does it smell?

1231
01:09:19,609 --> 01:09:21,112
Why are you looking at me
like that?

1232
01:09:23,047 --> 01:09:25,482
Oh, no!

1233
01:09:26,851 --> 01:09:28,886
It's semen all right.

1234
01:09:32,390 --> 01:09:34,591
Why am I the one to puke?
I don't puke.

1235
01:09:34,624 --> 01:09:36,193
I just wanted you to smell it.

1236
01:09:36,227 --> 01:09:37,594
I wanted to surprise you.

1237
01:09:37,627 --> 01:09:39,797
It's been a while since I ate
the horse semen but...

1238
01:09:40,430 --> 01:09:42,099
I think I prefer the pig.

1239
01:09:43,433 --> 01:09:45,502
Bacon's better than horse
meat, right?

1240
01:09:47,939 --> 01:09:51,876
I'm Tyler. And this is
the electric tap dance.

1241
01:09:51,909 --> 01:09:54,611
While these beautiful men
dance away,

1242
01:09:54,644 --> 01:09:56,613
I'm going to give my guy
Johnny Knoxville a look,

1243
01:09:56,646 --> 01:09:59,216
and he's going to put
some pep in their step.

1244
01:09:59,250 --> 01:10:02,119
It's going to shock
the shit out of them.

1245
01:10:02,153 --> 01:10:04,922
And if you're wondering if
the curtains match the drapes,

1246
01:10:04,956 --> 01:10:08,259
let me tell you, I tore those
drapes out a long time ago.

1247
01:10:11,162 --> 01:10:12,529
This is fucked.

1248
01:10:15,498 --> 01:10:17,802
Five, six, seven, eight.

1249
01:10:26,010 --> 01:10:29,213
That one hurt.

1250
01:10:29,246 --> 01:10:31,514
Shanna, what the fuck
is this under the seat?

1251
01:10:31,548 --> 01:10:32,716
What is this?

1252
01:10:32,749 --> 01:10:33,951
What the fuck is that?

1253
01:10:33,985 --> 01:10:36,153
- What?
- What is that?

1254
01:10:36,187 --> 01:10:37,355
What is that?

1255
01:10:37,388 --> 01:10:39,689
It's how they work,
look. This...

1256
01:10:39,723 --> 01:10:41,993
In tune? It's a piano.

1257
01:10:42,026 --> 01:10:44,661
No, it's metal right here.
I'm not fucking stupid.

1258
01:10:44,694 --> 01:10:47,965
All right, let's go. Quiet!

1259
01:10:53,871 --> 01:10:56,506
Five, six, seven, eight.

1260
01:10:57,975 --> 01:10:59,609
Step and step.

1261
01:11:02,013 --> 01:11:03,580
Fuck!

1262
01:11:08,219 --> 01:11:09,552
Oh, shit!

1263
01:11:11,822 --> 01:11:13,290
Oh! Oh!

1264
01:11:39,749 --> 01:11:41,752
I still feel it in my ass.

1265
01:11:41,786 --> 01:11:44,789
- Yeah, Tyler.
- Those shits hit hard, man.

1266
01:11:44,822 --> 01:11:47,224
How about a hand
for our dancers?

1267
01:11:48,459 --> 01:11:50,127
Our showgirl!

1268
01:11:51,862 --> 01:11:54,098
And our choreographer,
Michael Rooney.

1269
01:11:55,366 --> 01:11:56,967
And Jeff tremaine!

1270
01:12:00,471 --> 01:12:02,506
Jeff should sit on that.

1271
01:12:02,540 --> 01:12:04,975
Jeff, sit on that just once,
bro.

1272
01:12:05,009 --> 01:12:07,311
Who got that remote?
I fucking hate Jeff.

1273
01:12:10,414 --> 01:12:11,681
Wait, are you on it?

1274
01:12:22,359 --> 01:12:23,961
Holy shit!

1275
01:12:26,764 --> 01:12:29,100
All right, thanks man.
We'll do this real fast.

1276
01:12:30,301 --> 01:12:32,903
So we're going to go
from that to this. I just...

1277
01:12:32,937 --> 01:12:34,839
I got shocked so bad
so many times.

1278
01:12:34,872 --> 01:12:36,273
Are we rolling, guys?

1279
01:12:38,509 --> 01:12:42,645
He's about to have five gallons
of pig cum dumped on him.

1280
01:12:42,679 --> 01:12:44,681
Damn, that sounds like me
in London.

1281
01:12:46,217 --> 01:12:47,585
Oh, my god.

1282
01:12:47,617 --> 01:12:50,154
But how did he fucking
fall for this?

1283
01:12:50,821 --> 01:12:52,189
We don't question it.

1284
01:12:52,223 --> 01:12:55,259
My favorite <i>jackass</i> stunt
of all time with me in it

1285
01:12:55,292 --> 01:12:57,660
is the firehose rodeo.

1286
01:12:57,694 --> 01:13:00,630
To be honest,
I drank late into the night,

1287
01:13:00,663 --> 01:13:02,333
woke up still drunk.

1288
01:13:04,135 --> 01:13:05,903
Oh, that's cum!

1289
01:13:15,880 --> 01:13:18,015
That's five gallons of pig cum.

1290
01:13:18,048 --> 01:13:20,584
- You just got cummed on, dude!
- That's pig cum.

1291
01:13:20,618 --> 01:13:22,286
- Oh!
- What is it?

1292
01:13:22,620 --> 01:13:24,121
Pig cum.

1293
01:13:24,155 --> 01:13:25,256
Pig cum.

1294
01:13:27,525 --> 01:13:28,959
- Pig cum.
- That's pig cum?

1295
01:13:28,993 --> 01:13:31,095
That's pig cum. Five gallons.

1296
01:13:31,128 --> 01:13:33,164
Honestly, I think
it tastes good.

1297
01:13:33,197 --> 01:13:34,697
I'm a vegetarian!

1298
01:13:38,701 --> 01:13:39,803
Watch the replay.

1299
01:13:39,837 --> 01:13:41,105
Watch, watch, watch.

1300
01:13:42,473 --> 01:13:44,775
Wait, wait, wait.
Watch his mouth.

1301
01:13:45,242 --> 01:13:46,310
Stay on his mouth.

1302
01:13:46,844 --> 01:13:49,046
Ready? And...

1303
01:13:49,547 --> 01:13:51,081
Poof.

1304
01:13:52,917 --> 01:13:55,352
- It went in his mouth.
- Right in his fucking mouth.

1305
01:13:55,386 --> 01:13:56,554
You look great.

1306
01:13:56,587 --> 01:13:58,255
I just said why can't I wear
my cool hat?

1307
01:13:58,289 --> 01:13:59,290
Now I know why.

1308
01:14:05,629 --> 01:14:07,264
Oh, god!

1309
01:14:07,298 --> 01:14:10,234
Oh, my god, dude!

1310
01:14:12,269 --> 01:14:15,172
So today, ehren's going
to be wearing a shock collar.

1311
01:14:15,206 --> 01:14:18,676
And I'm going to administer
a lie detector test.

1312
01:14:18,708 --> 01:14:22,246
And if he's not truthful,
he's going to get stung.

1313
01:14:25,216 --> 01:14:26,417
Jesus, man!

1314
01:14:26,450 --> 01:14:27,627
You don't have to
feel that again

1315
01:14:27,651 --> 01:14:29,486
as long as you tell the truth.

1316
01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:31,455
- Okay, but...
- Come on.

1317
01:14:31,488 --> 01:14:32,489
All right.

1318
01:14:35,392 --> 01:14:37,428
What is your name?

1319
01:14:37,461 --> 01:14:38,929
Kenneth ehren mcghehey.

1320
01:14:39,863 --> 01:14:42,866
Okay, next question, ehren.

1321
01:14:42,900 --> 01:14:45,803
Are you really allergic to bees?

1322
01:14:46,503 --> 01:14:47,838
Yes.

1323
01:14:47,871 --> 01:14:51,375
Oh, boy,
I think he told a porky.

1324
01:14:51,408 --> 01:14:57,514
Ow! I'm fucking allergic to bees, man.
I got tested by doctors!

1325
01:14:58,515 --> 01:15:01,018
Stop it!

1326
01:15:01,051 --> 01:15:02,219
- What?
- Just for a second.

1327
01:15:02,253 --> 01:15:04,488
Just let me figure
some things out. Okay?

1328
01:15:04,521 --> 01:15:05,522
Okay.

1329
01:15:06,590 --> 01:15:08,158
I got to get out of this thing.

1330
01:15:08,192 --> 01:15:11,562
- This will keep you immune to the bees.
- Oh, come on.

1331
01:15:11,595 --> 01:15:13,097
Are you fucking kidding me
right now?

1332
01:15:13,130 --> 01:15:14,498
I am trapped.

1333
01:15:14,531 --> 01:15:16,367
And you are putting honey on me.

1334
01:15:16,400 --> 01:15:19,236
- And salmon?
- Yeah.

1335
01:15:19,270 --> 01:15:20,638
What are you doing?

1336
01:15:20,671 --> 01:15:22,306
Ehren, please relax.

1337
01:15:23,607 --> 01:15:25,009
You're making this much worse

1338
01:15:25,042 --> 01:15:26,286
on yourself than it needs to be.

1339
01:15:26,310 --> 01:15:28,345
No, it's not much worse,
it is that worse.

1340
01:15:28,379 --> 01:15:29,446
- No.
- Please.

1341
01:15:29,480 --> 01:15:30,714
Now I'm stuck in a room.

1342
01:15:30,748 --> 01:15:33,417
Everyone's going to leave.
Lights out.

1343
01:15:33,450 --> 01:15:36,053
The fucking honey is in my eye!

1344
01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:38,322
Oh, shit.

1345
01:15:46,430 --> 01:15:47,665
Oh, my god.

1346
01:15:49,133 --> 01:15:50,801
- I can't believe it.
- No fucking way.

1347
01:15:50,834 --> 01:15:52,369
Look at his face!

1348
01:15:52,403 --> 01:15:54,872
Ehren, remain calm.

1349
01:16:03,414 --> 01:16:05,015
Talk to it, ehren.

1350
01:16:05,049 --> 01:16:06,116
Try to calm it down.

1351
01:16:06,150 --> 01:16:07,551
Oh, no.
He's going for the salmon.

1352
01:16:08,485 --> 01:16:11,288
- Oh, no.
- Hi, bear.

1353
01:16:11,322 --> 01:16:13,957
Are you really
allergic to bees, ehren?

1354
01:16:18,862 --> 01:16:20,799
- Fuck!
- You're telling a porky!

1355
01:16:20,831 --> 01:16:22,566
I didn't even get to answer.

1356
01:16:24,902 --> 01:16:27,806
- No, no.
- Ooh!

1357
01:16:31,408 --> 01:16:33,610
Ehren, don't make
any sudden movements.

1358
01:16:38,482 --> 01:16:40,551
Oh.

1359
01:16:40,584 --> 01:16:42,821
There's nothing more in there!

1360
01:16:42,853 --> 01:16:44,321
There's nothing more in there!

1361
01:16:44,355 --> 01:16:46,490
Mr. Bear, eat that dick.

1362
01:16:48,359 --> 01:16:51,028
I'm ready to come out
of this. I...

1363
01:16:51,628 --> 01:16:53,097
Uh-oh.

1364
01:16:53,130 --> 01:16:54,732
Fuck, dude,
he tried to bite my hand.

1365
01:16:54,766 --> 01:16:57,668
He's trying to bite my hand.
He's trying to bite my hand.

1366
01:16:57,701 --> 01:16:59,303
He's trying to bite my hand.

1367
01:17:00,671 --> 01:17:02,673
I don't know what... oh, my god!

1368
01:17:02,706 --> 01:17:04,007
Oh, my god!

1369
01:17:04,475 --> 01:17:05,943
Oh, god!

1370
01:17:06,610 --> 01:17:07,812
Oh, god!

1371
01:17:07,846 --> 01:17:10,481
Ow! Oh, my god,
he's going for my dick.

1372
01:17:10,514 --> 01:17:12,983
- I gotta go in.
- He's going for my dick, dude.

1373
01:17:13,016 --> 01:17:16,253
I wanna get outta here, man,
like I'm serious.

1374
01:17:16,887 --> 01:17:18,155
Please.

1375
01:17:18,823 --> 01:17:20,023
Please!

1376
01:17:21,492 --> 01:17:24,395
Yeah, ehren!

1377
01:17:26,865 --> 01:17:28,800
Yeah, get him out of it.

1378
01:17:28,833 --> 01:17:31,135
I feel for you, bro.

1379
01:17:31,168 --> 01:17:32,879
- I feel for you.
- You're good, you're done.

1380
01:17:32,903 --> 01:17:34,004
You're done.

1381
01:17:34,037 --> 01:17:35,506
Is it... is it actually over?

1382
01:17:38,843 --> 01:17:40,644
Yeah, buddy.

1383
01:17:41,512 --> 01:17:42,546
Oh, my god.

1384
01:17:44,381 --> 01:17:47,651
All right. I think this is
a perfect amount of "in it".

1385
01:17:47,684 --> 01:17:48,952
All right, let me...

1386
01:17:48,986 --> 01:17:50,087
Who's got it?

1387
01:17:50,120 --> 01:17:51,164
- I thought I had it.
- I got it.

1388
01:17:51,188 --> 01:17:52,689
All right. This is gnarly.

1389
01:17:53,323 --> 01:17:54,925
This is a trip.

1390
01:17:54,958 --> 01:17:57,670
While you guys are tightening,
I'm going to have to hold the tip of it

1391
01:17:57,694 --> 01:17:59,930
just to keep it steady, huh?

1392
01:17:59,963 --> 01:18:02,666
Ooh, it's starting to take
a firm grip.

1393
01:18:02,699 --> 01:18:03,967
Look at it!

1394
01:18:05,135 --> 01:18:07,204
This is some medieval shit.

1395
01:18:07,237 --> 01:18:10,107
- This is all the way clear.
- No thanks, bro.

1396
01:18:10,140 --> 01:18:12,176
- Watch it, man.
- It's tight, man.

1397
01:18:12,877 --> 01:18:13,977
Oooh.

1398
01:18:14,011 --> 01:18:15,012
That don't hurt?

1399
01:18:15,045 --> 01:18:16,079
That's the weird part,

1400
01:18:16,113 --> 01:18:17,347
it doesn't really hurt.

1401
01:18:17,381 --> 01:18:18,348
Oh, my god.

1402
01:18:18,382 --> 01:18:21,385
Don't look now,
but it's flat as a pancake.

1403
01:18:21,418 --> 01:18:24,923
A lot of people ask, "what will
<i>jackass</i> be like once we're older?"

1404
01:18:24,955 --> 01:18:27,291
Well, it'll get more mature.

1405
01:18:30,494 --> 01:18:32,229
Me and the homie be googling
weird shit,

1406
01:18:32,262 --> 01:18:34,799
but like this would never
pop in their head.

1407
01:18:34,833 --> 01:18:36,400
This is brand new.

1408
01:18:36,433 --> 01:18:38,669
Yeah, you're for sure never
gonna be president.

1409
01:18:40,270 --> 01:18:41,873
You never know.
I'd vote for him.

1410
01:18:41,906 --> 01:18:44,007
Yeah!

1411
01:18:45,742 --> 01:18:47,144
The ball flap.

1412
01:18:47,177 --> 01:18:48,479
Wow!

1413
01:18:52,249 --> 01:18:54,251
Yes! Oh, my god!

1414
01:18:56,453 --> 01:18:57,287
Wow!

1415
01:18:57,321 --> 01:18:58,989
Now we know
what that's all about.

1416
01:19:03,427 --> 01:19:06,931
So, here we are
back at the bullring.

1417
01:19:06,965 --> 01:19:11,268
Even at a time when I wanted to
die, I wouldn't get in the bullring.

1418
01:19:11,301 --> 01:19:13,972
You know, when life
was its least valuable

1419
01:19:14,004 --> 01:19:15,974
I would have no part
in this bullshit.

1420
01:19:16,006 --> 01:19:17,641
And it's my
least favorite thing.

1421
01:19:17,674 --> 01:19:19,343
The movie's going so well.

1422
01:19:19,376 --> 01:19:21,378
Why the fuck are we doing this?

1423
01:19:27,752 --> 01:19:29,486
God, dude!

1424
01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:31,923
- I don't think he's very happy.
- No.

1425
01:19:31,956 --> 01:19:33,066
- Have you been around bulls before?
- No.

1426
01:19:33,090 --> 01:19:34,133
I've never been around a bull

1427
01:19:34,157 --> 01:19:35,592
in my whole entire life.

1428
01:19:35,626 --> 01:19:36,627
Not a real one.

1429
01:19:37,862 --> 01:19:39,062
Oh, shit.

1430
01:19:39,363 --> 01:19:40,397
Oh, shit.

1431
01:19:42,901 --> 01:19:45,870
Hello,
I am Johnny the magnificent.

1432
01:19:45,904 --> 01:19:51,308
Today, I am going to wow you with my
supreme skills of prestidigitation.

1433
01:19:53,011 --> 01:19:55,479
Oh, fuck! Oh, god! Oh, shit!

1434
01:19:55,914 --> 01:19:57,147
Woo-hoo-hoo!

1435
01:20:01,051 --> 01:20:03,086
Oh, no! Oh, shit!

1436
01:20:04,187 --> 01:20:06,123
Oh, no.

1437
01:20:06,156 --> 01:20:07,591
Jesus.

1438
01:20:07,624 --> 01:20:08,760
There we go.

1439
01:20:15,033 --> 01:20:16,099
He's okay.

1440
01:20:16,133 --> 01:20:17,734
Hey, j, talk to me. You okay?

1441
01:20:17,769 --> 01:20:19,369
You all right?

1442
01:20:20,170 --> 01:20:22,139
You doing okay? Johnny?

1443
01:20:23,473 --> 01:20:24,976
He's gettin' back,
he's coming to.

1444
01:20:25,009 --> 01:20:26,276
He's coming back, yeah.

1445
01:20:26,310 --> 01:20:27,711
You all right?

1446
01:20:27,744 --> 01:20:29,047
That was a violent brawl.

1447
01:20:29,079 --> 01:20:30,581
One-sided to be sure.

1448
01:20:32,850 --> 01:20:33,885
Gnarly.

1449
01:20:33,918 --> 01:20:35,252
So we good, Jeff?

1450
01:20:35,285 --> 01:20:36,888
You got exactly what you wanted.

1451
01:20:36,921 --> 01:20:38,589
- Yeah, Knox.
- Yeah, Knox.

1452
01:20:38,622 --> 01:20:40,157
Oh, fuck.

1453
01:20:40,190 --> 01:20:41,893
So what happened
after it hit me?

1454
01:20:41,926 --> 01:20:43,795
Dude, it's gnarly.

1455
01:20:43,828 --> 01:20:45,395
This is you, this is the bull.

1456
01:20:48,900 --> 01:20:50,434
<i>He didn't mess around, dude.</i>

1457
01:20:50,467 --> 01:20:52,436
<i>He turned around
and just nailed him.</i>

1458
01:20:52,469 --> 01:20:54,404
<i>- That was insane.
- Yeah, Knox!</i>

1459
01:20:54,438 --> 01:20:57,240
<i>It's probably the
biggest hit you've ever taken.</i>

1460
01:20:58,141 --> 01:21:00,243
<i>And that's why
he is the captain.</i>

1461
01:21:00,277 --> 01:21:02,713
That bull didn't like
fucking magic.

1462
01:21:04,748 --> 01:21:06,249
Yeah, Knox, we love you!

1463
01:21:06,283 --> 01:21:07,484
Love you!

1464
01:21:08,019 --> 01:21:09,152
Captain!

1465
01:21:12,790 --> 01:21:13,791
Hello, Lance.

1466
01:21:14,993 --> 01:21:16,828
- Hello there.
- How are you?

1467
01:21:16,861 --> 01:21:18,195
Good. What's new?

1468
01:21:18,228 --> 01:21:22,800
Ah, I got a broken wrist,
broken rib, concussion.

1469
01:21:22,834 --> 01:21:25,469
<i>But I was supposed to
pour the milk in the hat,</i>

1470
01:21:25,502 --> 01:21:29,874
and then put the hat back on,
and no milk come out.

1471
01:21:29,907 --> 01:21:31,109
Did milk come out?

1472
01:21:31,141 --> 01:21:32,476
There was some milk on the...

1473
01:21:32,509 --> 01:21:33,677
Oh, shit!

1474
01:21:36,279 --> 01:21:39,083
These guys are gonna get
on that centrifuge back there,

1475
01:21:39,117 --> 01:21:41,853
drink as much milk as they can.

1476
01:21:41,886 --> 01:21:43,253
We're gonna see what happens.

1477
01:21:43,286 --> 01:21:45,722
This is the vomitron.

1478
01:21:45,757 --> 01:21:46,891
- Woo!
- Yeah!

1479
01:21:46,924 --> 01:21:48,525
Taste the rainbow.

1480
01:21:48,558 --> 01:21:51,261
- Taste the rainbow.
- Come on, guys.

1481
01:21:51,294 --> 01:21:54,464
If this is a race to see
who vomits first,

1482
01:21:54,498 --> 01:21:57,501
I think I might have it.

1483
01:21:58,702 --> 01:22:01,105
Zach, aim your head down
when you throw up.

1484
01:22:01,139 --> 01:22:03,373
It's comin' right at me.

1485
01:22:03,407 --> 01:22:04,608
Oh, god.

1486
01:22:04,641 --> 01:22:07,145
I can barely taste
the pig cum in this.

1487
01:22:07,210 --> 01:22:09,947
Right?

1488
01:22:09,981 --> 01:22:11,916
All right, chug, chug.

1489
01:22:11,949 --> 01:22:13,183
Oh, shit.

1490
01:22:13,684 --> 01:22:15,185
Here we go! Fuck me!

1491
01:22:15,218 --> 01:22:16,386
Just look at me, Eric.

1492
01:22:16,420 --> 01:22:18,588
- Pound that milk!
- Yeah, chug it!

1493
01:22:19,556 --> 01:22:20,590
Oh.

1494
01:22:20,624 --> 01:22:22,126
- Fuck it.
- Is he already puking?

1495
01:22:22,160 --> 01:22:23,593
Jasper!

1496
01:22:23,627 --> 01:22:26,363
- Drink your fucking milk!
- I'm trying! I'm fuckin' trying!

1497
01:22:26,396 --> 01:22:29,067
Let's pick up the speed!
Pick up the speed!

1498
01:22:29,100 --> 01:22:30,734
Whoo! It's pickin' up!

1499
01:22:31,601 --> 01:22:34,638
Ah! Ahh!

1500
01:22:36,974 --> 01:22:38,642
What the fuck did you eat?

1501
01:22:39,209 --> 01:22:40,544
What did he eat?

1502
01:22:42,679 --> 01:22:43,680
Go, go, go!

1503
01:22:51,923 --> 01:22:53,758
Oh, shit!

1504
01:22:53,791 --> 01:22:55,827
What's happening now?

1505
01:22:55,860 --> 01:22:57,227
There's an army truck.

1506
01:22:58,029 --> 01:22:59,463
Holy shit.

1507
01:23:00,198 --> 01:23:01,866
Oh, shit, imma pass out!

1508
01:23:02,299 --> 01:23:03,366
I'm passing out!

1509
01:23:03,400 --> 01:23:05,169
Zach's passing out?

1510
01:23:05,203 --> 01:23:06,804
I'm passing out.

1511
01:23:06,838 --> 01:23:10,307
I can't drink the milk.
I'm going too fast.

1512
01:23:10,340 --> 01:23:13,845
Red Robin three.
This is big Hank two.

1513
01:23:13,878 --> 01:23:16,379
I want the perimeter bombed,
god damn it!

1514
01:23:16,413 --> 01:23:18,582
Bomb them into the stone age,
son!

1515
01:23:22,053 --> 01:23:23,620
Stop!

1516
01:23:26,356 --> 01:23:28,592
Stop! Stop!

1517
01:23:30,128 --> 01:23:33,164
What the fuck? What the fuck?

1518
01:23:33,197 --> 01:23:34,397
What the fuck?

1519
01:23:42,672 --> 01:23:44,274
Oh, no!

1520
01:23:44,976 --> 01:23:46,811
It's a paintball time!

1521
01:23:47,544 --> 01:23:48,880
Fire!

1522
01:23:53,217 --> 01:23:55,787
Stop! Stop!

1523
01:23:56,386 --> 01:23:59,389
No more! Oh!

1524
01:23:59,422 --> 01:24:01,491
I got shot in the fuckin' mouth.

1525
01:24:05,897 --> 01:24:07,965
Ah! Dave! Dave!

1526
01:24:07,999 --> 01:24:09,967
Get on the stretcher!

1527
01:24:10,001 --> 01:24:11,368
Get on the stretcher.

1528
01:24:14,504 --> 01:24:16,841
Don't get me! Ah! Fuck!

1529
01:24:27,450 --> 01:24:29,719
Someday this war is gonna end.

1530
01:24:34,926 --> 01:24:36,393
I don't know how to get out.

1531
01:24:37,028 --> 01:24:39,362
Help me, Eric! Help me!

1532
01:24:42,834 --> 01:24:45,970
I love the smell of paintballs
in the morning!

1533
01:24:58,548 --> 01:24:59,549
Ow!

1534
01:25:01,185 --> 01:25:04,856
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

1535
01:25:05,488 --> 01:25:07,792
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

1536
01:25:11,028 --> 01:25:12,362
Ow! Oh!

1537
01:25:12,395 --> 01:25:15,766
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

1538
01:25:16,399 --> 01:25:17,869
Fuck, Jeff!

1539
01:25:19,303 --> 01:25:20,838
Look at Dave's face!

1540
01:25:20,872 --> 01:25:22,106
Look at...

1541
01:25:22,139 --> 01:25:26,710
- Oh, my god!
- Fuck off! Fuck all the way off!

1542
01:25:27,345 --> 01:25:30,214
Dude, what the fuck?

1543
01:25:30,248 --> 01:25:32,649
- I'm sorry, bro.
- That fuckin' hurt!

1544
01:25:33,516 --> 01:25:35,485
Get out there, get out there.

1545
01:25:35,518 --> 01:25:37,255
Poopies... poopies is hurt.

1546
01:25:37,288 --> 01:25:39,323
- Are we done?
- Let me see.

1547
01:25:39,357 --> 01:25:43,261
- Oh, my god.
- Oh my god, damn!

1548
01:25:43,294 --> 01:25:44,628
My dick really hurts, man.

1549
01:25:44,661 --> 01:25:46,063
He got shot in the dick.

1550
01:25:46,964 --> 01:25:47,999
That was fucked!

1551
01:25:50,234 --> 01:25:51,668
Oh, god. Look at that.

1552
01:25:52,736 --> 01:25:54,171
It's gotta be over, dude.

1553
01:25:54,205 --> 01:25:55,773
I can't get any more hurt.

1554
01:25:55,806 --> 01:25:57,875
I think we're all the way
finished, we're through.

1555
01:25:58,376 --> 01:25:59,777
Stick a fork in it.

1556
01:26:00,510 --> 01:26:01,812
We're done.

1557
01:26:05,082 --> 01:26:06,784
Oooh, is that your tooth, dude?

1558
01:26:07,318 --> 01:26:08,518
Wow!

1559
01:26:08,551 --> 01:26:10,354
That's a wrap on the movie.

1560
01:26:28,505 --> 01:26:29,739
Oh!

1561
01:26:30,473 --> 01:26:32,910
Huh?

1562
01:26:38,983 --> 01:26:39,984
Oh, my god!

1563
01:26:42,253 --> 01:26:43,453
Oh, shit!

1564
01:26:43,486 --> 01:26:45,655
- Watch him get hit in the nuts!
- Oh, no!

1565
01:26:46,489 --> 01:26:47,758
Oh, fuck!

1566
01:26:48,692 --> 01:26:50,727
Did anyone even film that?

1567
01:26:50,761 --> 01:26:51,929
He was.

1568
01:26:57,567 --> 01:27:00,404
Oh, shit!

1569
01:27:00,438 --> 01:27:05,076
This is the cup that we used for p.K.
To hit me in the dick.

1570
01:27:05,109 --> 01:27:06,543
And apparently it worked.

1571
01:27:09,447 --> 01:27:11,648
But there's a big giant
dent in it.

1572
01:27:17,989 --> 01:27:19,123
Are you kidding me?

1573
01:27:19,622 --> 01:27:20,825
Flamingo.

1574
01:27:21,691 --> 01:27:23,660
Flamingo, pelican, eh!

1575
01:27:23,693 --> 01:27:24,795
Give that a whirl, yeah.

1576
01:27:24,829 --> 01:27:26,563
Probably, like,
her least concern.

1577
01:27:28,332 --> 01:27:29,800
That's awesome.

1578
01:27:29,834 --> 01:27:31,802
I didn't even know he could go
that fast.

1579
01:27:36,240 --> 01:27:38,909
Oh, my god!

1580
01:27:38,943 --> 01:27:41,045
I got shot with the
elephant gun yesterday.

1581
01:27:41,879 --> 01:27:43,513
Yeah, parks!

1582
01:27:43,546 --> 01:27:46,884
Good job, dude! You launched!

1583
01:27:46,917 --> 01:27:49,253
That was crazy.

1584
01:27:49,286 --> 01:27:53,090
Oh, fuck, yeah, you the main one
talkin' shit. Motherfucker, do it!

1585
01:27:53,124 --> 01:27:54,925
That's a hot mama.

1586
01:27:54,959 --> 01:27:55,793
Who's this?

1587
01:27:55,826 --> 01:27:57,361
He's my offspring.

1588
01:27:57,395 --> 01:27:59,263
For real, like, I've been
watching <i>jackass</i>

1589
01:27:59,296 --> 01:28:03,067
- since I was like 12 years old, 10 years old.
- Right.

1590
01:28:03,100 --> 01:28:06,303
But it's definitely a big impact
on life and guess what? We're here.

1591
01:28:06,337 --> 01:28:07,938
We're here, baby!

1592
01:28:07,972 --> 01:28:10,207
Poopies doesn't have the
biggest penis in the world,

1593
01:28:10,241 --> 01:28:12,777
not the second biggest either.

1594
01:28:12,810 --> 01:28:15,645
I think I have the smallest
one out of the whole group.

1595
01:28:15,678 --> 01:28:21,152
That was what... that was what I was
most nervous about is showing it on...

1596
01:28:21,185 --> 01:28:22,453
To the whole world.

1597
01:28:22,486 --> 01:28:25,322
- Yeah.
- But that's what we're here for.

1598
01:28:30,727 --> 01:28:33,630
My name's Irving zissman,
and I'm a prick.

1599
01:28:35,732 --> 01:28:37,234
And that's the truth.

1600
01:28:38,169 --> 01:28:40,703
I kind of feel like praying
right now.

1601
01:28:40,737 --> 01:28:42,907
Boom, boom. Boom, boom.

1602
01:28:46,277 --> 01:28:47,610
Was that a prank?

1603
01:28:52,416 --> 01:28:54,385
Y'all ain't right, man.

1604
01:28:54,418 --> 01:28:57,354
That was beautiful.

1605
01:28:57,388 --> 01:28:58,956
I love you guys, man, for that.

1606
01:28:58,989 --> 01:29:01,459
Did they put that goofy-ass
beard on in makeup?

1607
01:29:01,492 --> 01:29:02,836
You a hater.
I knew he was gonna come over

1608
01:29:02,860 --> 01:29:05,563
and say some fuck shit
about my nice-ass beard.

1609
01:29:05,595 --> 01:29:07,965
Yeah, 'cause that's...

1610
01:29:11,268 --> 01:29:12,937
Oh, my god!

1611
01:29:12,970 --> 01:29:14,371
Holy fuck.

1612
01:29:18,542 --> 01:29:20,945
Oh, my god, dude.

1613
01:29:21,345 --> 01:29:22,913
Come on, Zach!

1614
01:29:26,517 --> 01:29:27,751
Oh, god!

1615
01:29:29,587 --> 01:29:32,156
Oh, my, you missed the bucket.

1616
01:29:34,925 --> 01:29:37,194
I'm in the weirdest position.

1617
01:29:37,228 --> 01:29:40,264
All right, let's get that
camera ready with the 16 mil,

1618
01:29:40,297 --> 01:29:41,932
right down main street.

1619
01:29:46,736 --> 01:29:48,172
- Hey, Rick.
- Hey!

1620
01:29:58,415 --> 01:29:59,884
I was trying to look stoked.

1621
01:30:03,354 --> 01:30:05,256
There it is!

1622
01:30:05,289 --> 01:30:07,024
First time you got cummed on?

1623
01:30:07,057 --> 01:30:08,626
Yeah. For sure.

1624
01:30:08,658 --> 01:30:09,960
Or the second.

1625
01:30:14,664 --> 01:30:17,301
- I am, I have no...
- Okay, listen.

1626
01:30:17,334 --> 01:30:18,701
Did we get it?

1627
01:30:20,171 --> 01:30:22,306
- You just gotta take it.
- You just gotta go.

1628
01:30:22,339 --> 01:30:24,308
- Take it like a man.
- You just gotta take it.

1629
01:30:29,079 --> 01:30:30,080
Cut! Cut!

1630
01:30:30,713 --> 01:30:32,316
That's good.

1631
01:30:32,349 --> 01:30:34,285
Three, two, one!

1632
01:30:36,887 --> 01:30:40,324
- Ow, ow, ow!
- Ow, my hand's burned.

1633
01:30:40,357 --> 01:30:41,992
Ow, my hand's burning!

1634
01:30:42,026 --> 01:30:43,427
Hey, Dave.

1635
01:30:43,460 --> 01:30:44,762
- Dave, you good, bro?
- Yeah.

1636
01:30:44,795 --> 01:30:45,906
I'm all right,
I'll be all right.

1637
01:30:45,930 --> 01:30:47,198
I'm just going... I am burned.

1638
01:30:49,967 --> 01:30:50,968
Oh, god!

1639
01:30:51,235 --> 01:30:52,236
Fuck!

1640
01:30:55,940 --> 01:30:57,274
How's his head?

1641
01:31:01,445 --> 01:31:03,080
Can't have nothin' nice, can I?

1642
01:31:06,217 --> 01:31:08,886
Will you make him an actual
coffee, Stephanie, thank you.

1643
01:31:08,919 --> 01:31:11,288
- Oh, dude.
- Here, I made you another one.

1644
01:31:11,322 --> 01:31:12,323
Awesome.

1645
01:31:30,007 --> 01:31:31,675
That's actually
not the milkshake.

1646
01:31:31,709 --> 01:31:32,910
All right!

1647
01:31:33,711 --> 01:31:35,479
Dude wanted to be just like me.

1648
01:31:36,547 --> 01:31:38,549
What? Dude, that's sick.

1649
01:31:38,582 --> 01:31:41,619
Trailer moment. Don't move.

1650
01:31:46,090 --> 01:31:47,091
We ready?

1651
01:31:49,260 --> 01:31:50,261
Huh?

1652
01:31:50,628 --> 01:31:52,129
He's ready.

1653
01:31:52,162 --> 01:31:54,265
So we're all ready to do this?

1654
01:31:54,298 --> 01:31:55,366
We're ready.

1655
01:31:55,399 --> 01:31:57,134
Everyone rolling?

1656
01:31:57,167 --> 01:31:59,303
Oh, no! Oh, no!

1657
01:32:03,240 --> 01:32:04,875
Oh, my god!

1658
01:32:04,908 --> 01:32:07,878
- Wow!
- That is legit right there.

1659
01:32:07,911 --> 01:32:10,314
Let me get in on that one.

1660
01:32:10,347 --> 01:32:12,850
I'm running around in a
g-string for a living.

1661
01:32:12,883 --> 01:32:14,652
<i>You are making a living
at that right now.</i>

1662
01:32:14,685 --> 01:32:15,719
<i>Yeah.</i>

1663
01:32:15,754 --> 01:32:16,954
<i>It looked good on you.</i>

1664
01:32:18,757 --> 01:32:22,426
I summon sarcophilus satanicus

1665
01:32:22,459 --> 01:32:26,997
to come and eat the flesh
of the wallaby.

1666
01:32:27,031 --> 01:32:29,099
I can totally see through
Steve-O's.

1667
01:32:34,905 --> 01:32:37,975
This is so gross, man.

1668
01:32:38,008 --> 01:32:40,044
Can we get one with the finger
in your mouth?

1669
01:32:43,213 --> 01:32:46,317
I'm gonna shit my pants before
we get to that fuckin' place.

1670
01:32:46,350 --> 01:32:49,019
I'm Dave england
and I got to take a shit.

1671
01:32:53,257 --> 01:32:55,492
I hope you're gonna
get that son of a bitch.

1672
01:32:55,526 --> 01:32:59,129
I took a huge coil in
there and it stunk so bad.

1673
01:32:59,163 --> 01:33:02,833
Weren't you on <i>90210</i> not too long ago...

1674
01:33:10,040 --> 01:33:11,275
Hey, come here. Jump...

1675
01:33:13,778 --> 01:33:16,113
Get it off! Get it off!

1676
01:33:16,146 --> 01:33:18,048
Hold the collar up
so I can see it.

1677
01:33:21,618 --> 01:33:23,554
Did I get you?

1678
01:33:23,587 --> 01:33:28,827
We're going to convince kosick that
this is a piece of audio equipment.

1679
01:33:28,859 --> 01:33:30,961
Unbeknownst to him,
he's gonna be shocked.

1680
01:33:30,994 --> 01:33:32,363
Yeah, it's a microphone.

1681
01:33:32,396 --> 01:33:33,397
I don't hear nothing.

1682
01:33:40,371 --> 01:33:41,605
Stop it now. Stop it.

1683
01:33:44,608 --> 01:33:46,009
Hey, let's eat.

1684
01:33:46,043 --> 01:33:47,678
Who wants some?

1685
01:33:47,711 --> 01:33:48,912
Face your fears.

1686
01:33:50,881 --> 01:33:55,185
He put his hands down!
What a pussy. Don't look.

1687
01:33:55,219 --> 01:33:58,255
Dude, just kick back.
It's not like we really care.

1688
01:33:59,456 --> 01:34:00,657
Dude, dude!

1689
01:34:03,394 --> 01:34:04,695
Ow, ow! Dude!

1690
01:34:04,728 --> 01:34:06,430
Dude! Chill!

1691
01:34:06,463 --> 01:34:07,965
Chill, dude!

1692
01:34:07,998 --> 01:34:09,433
It's for the movie, dude.

1693
01:34:10,033 --> 01:34:12,469
He kicked your ass, dude.

1694
01:34:16,740 --> 01:34:18,542
How's raab not in this?

1695
01:34:18,575 --> 01:34:20,487
I'm the smart one.
I already know what's going to happen.

1696
01:34:20,511 --> 01:34:23,313
Hey, I'm raab himself
and this is bungy-wedgie.

1697
01:34:32,956 --> 01:34:34,358
Watch out.

1698
01:34:39,663 --> 01:34:40,697
Stop it!

1699
01:34:44,769 --> 01:34:46,136
Oh! You got my nuts!

1700
01:34:47,004 --> 01:34:48,605
Oh, man, I'm stuck.

1701
01:35:07,090 --> 01:35:09,359
And cut.