[CHILDREN'S CHOIR SINGING]
Jimmy: HI.
MY NAME'S JIMMY LIVINGSTON.
MY MOM SAYS WHEN I WAS BORN,
I CAME GIFT-WRAPPED FROM HEAVEN.
AAAH!
[BOINGING]
WHOA! WHOA! HUH.
Blink 182: WELL, I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP
Jimmy: MY FIRST MEMORIES ARE KIND OF HAZY.
ALL I REMEMBER IS A PLACE WITH WHITE WALLS,
BRIGHT LIGHTS, AND A GIGANTIC BIRD.
I WAS THERE BECAUSE I WAS BORN WITH NO IMMUNITIES.
A SINGLE GERM COULD KILL ME.
BUT WHEN I WAS 4,
MY MOM TOOK ME HOME...
TO BEAUTIFUL PALMDALE, CALIFORNIA.
[KIDS PLAYING]
OH!
Jimmy: MOM HELPED ME MAKE FRIENDS RIGHT AWAY.
[HISSES]
LET'S GO.
[CLATTERING]
Mom: GET HIM IN!
Jimmy: OUR HOUSE WAS ENORMOUS LIKE A CASTLE,
AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, I FELT COMPLETELY FREE.
THERE.
[PANTING] NOW YOU'RE SAFE
FROM THAT EVIL, FILTHY WORLD.
YOU'RE HOME, JIMMY!
AND YOU'LL NEVER, EVER,
EVER HAVE TO GO OUT THERE AGAIN.
[PLASTIC SQUEAKS]
[CLATTERING]
[QUIET SQUEAL]
[GASPS] LOOK AT THAT.
LOOK WHAT MOMMY MADE FOR JIMMY.
Jimmy: I HAD A BIG ROOM WITH MY OWN BED,
LOTS OF TOYS,
AND 2 PAIRS OF RETRACTABLE ARMS.
Mom: "AND THE PRINCE CLIMBED
"TO THE TOP OF THE TOWER AND SAID,
'COME WITH ME
AND WE'LL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.'
"AND RAPUNZEL LEFT HER PLASTIC BUBBLE
AND DIED."
THE END.
Mom: THOSE EVIL DOCTORS.
NOBODY'S GONNA GET ANY GERMS
ON MY LITTLE BOY NOW.
YOU'LL ALWAYS STAY PURE.
WON'T YOU, JIMMY?
[CLANKING]
Mom: JIMMY!
BREAKFASTIE!
Jimmy: I HAD MY READING.
I WISH THEY HAD MORE THAN ONE MAGAZINE
IN THE WORLD, MOM.
SO DO I, DEAR.
Jimmy: MY FAVORITE TV SHOW, LAND OF THE LOST.
I WISH TVs HAD MORE THAN ONE CHANNEL, MOM.
SO DO I, DEAR.
Jimmy: AND I HAD THE BEST TEACHER
IN THE WHOLE, WIDE WORLD.
AND THEN THE INDIANS
DECIDED TO MOVE TO THE RESERVATIONS
WHERE THEY COULD OPEN CASINOS
AND SELL TAX-FREE CIGARETTES
AND STAY OUT OF THE WHITE MAN'S WAY.
ANOTHER A-PLUS.
Jimmy: THE NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS ALWAYS WANTED
TO HANG AT MY HOUSE.
LIVES IN A BUBBLE, SMELLS LIKE POOP
[GRUNTS]
BUBBLE BOY, BUBBLE BOY
[SCREAMING]
Mom: GET OUT OF HERE, YOU LITTLE BUGGERS!
GO ON!
Jimmy: BUT I LIKED TO HANG WITH MY DAD.
OH, MOTHER OF SHIT, MORTON!
ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL HIM WITH THAT THING?
[CRASHES]
[CLANGING]
Mom: JIMMY, LUNCHIE.
[AIR HISSES]
Jimmy: SUPPERTIME WAS THE BEST.
NOTHING COULD BEAT MOM'S HOMEMADE, VITAMIN-RICH,
SOY-BASED, GERM-FREE, FAT-FREE FIBER COOKIES.
[CRUNCH] MMM. MM-HMM.
Jimmy: I GREW UP LIKE ANY OTHER KID.
AT 16, I DIDN'T GET A CAR,
BUT I DID GET AN ELECTRICAL ROCK-MUSIC GUITAR!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THE THINGS I FOUND
I NEED TO FIND MY WAY
I'M LOST, I'M LOST
I DO BELIEVE I'M LIVING
IN THE LAND
OF THE LOST
[PLAYS RIFF]
I'M LIVING IN THE LAND
LIVING IN THE LAND
[PLAYS RIFF]
LIVING IN THE LAND
OF THE LOST
Jimmy: I WAS SO HAPPY.
I HAD EVERYTHING A BOY COULD EVER WANT.
UNTIL...
CHLOE.
Mom: "AND THEN PINOCCHIO
"CAME OUT OF HIS PLASTIC BUBBLE,
"TOUCHED THE FILTHY LITTLE WHORE NEXT DOOR,
AND DIED. THE END."
[SLAMS SHUT]
Singer: OOH, BABY
AHH
OH, YEAH
Jimmy: OVER THE NEXT FEW YEARS,
I WASHED MY WINDOW A LOT.
AHH
[GIGGLES]
OH, MY
Jimmy: SOMETHING WAS HAPPENING TO ME.
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT.
[GASPING]
[THWAP]
MOM!
JIMMY!
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
Jimmy: MOM!
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
WHAT IS IT?
OH! OH, MY GOD!
OW!
DON'T TOUCH IT!
HANDS OFF!
NOW, JUST RELAX, DON'T GET UPSET.
IT HURTS!
JUST DO WHAT I TELL YOUR FATHER--
JUST SAY THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
OVER AND OVER UNTIL IT GOES AWAY.
COME ON!
Both: I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS,
ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE,
WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.
Both: I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA...
AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS,
ONE NATION UNDER GOD...
THANKS, MOM.
[MC HAMMER SINGING] CAN'T TOUCH THIS
CAN'T TOUCH THIS...
[WHIMPERS]
[TURNS OFF ENGINE]
Mark: DUDE!
YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR TO THE BUBBLE BOY.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I HEARD?
THE ONLY THING THAT KID CAN DRINK
IS HIS OWN URINE.
OH, YEAH. TRUE STORY.
SWEAR TO GOD.
I HEARD THE SAME THING, MAN. IT'S GROSS.
THEN WHAT DID HE DRINK IN THE FIRST PLACE
TO MAKE THE URINE?
WELL, IT WOULD, UM...
TELL HER.
SHOTGUN!
HE'S NOT A MONSTER, YOU GUYS.
HE'S JUST A BOY IN A BUBBLE.
[STRANGE VOICE] I AM NOT A MONSTER.
I'M A HUMAN BEING.
BYE, LISA.
BYE, CHLOE.
I WISH I WAS THE BOY IN HER BUBBLE.
OH, YEAH!
[STARTS ENGINE]
LET'S HIT THE ARCADE.
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
[CHUCKLING]
HI, MR. LIVINGSTON?
I'M CHLOE.
I LIVE...NEXT DOOR.
HYAH!
[DISTANT GRUNTING SOUNDS]
[DISTANT GROWLING]
[CRASH]
[GASPS] OH, MY GOSH!
WHAT?
ARE YOU OK?
WHAT? WAIT, NO, NO, NO. DON'T--
I WAS--I WAS JUST PLAYING.
I WAS JUST PLAYING.
MAYDAY! YOU KNOW, THAT.
OH.
AHEM.
WAS THAT PAKUNI YOU WERE SPEAKING?
FROM LAND OF THE LOST? I LOVE LAND OF THE LOST.
I LOVE YOU, TOO.
IT! IT, TOO.
I LOVE IT, TOO.
I'M JIMMY.
I'M--
CHLOE, THE WHORE NEXT DOOR.
WHAT?
HEH HEH.
WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?
MY MOM.
SHE TEACHES ME EVERYTHING.
WELL, REALLY SHE GOT IT WRONG.
I'M ACTUALLY MORE OF A BITCH THAN A WHORE.
A BITCH.
OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
A BITCH.
ABSOLUTELY, A BITCH.
YEAH. [LAUGHING]
YOU PLAY GUITAR?
OH, OH, YEAH, YEAH!
UH, DO YOU WANNA TRY IT?
OH, NO, I DON'T KNOW HOW.
I COULD TEACH YOU.
RIGHT NOW.
[GIGGLES] I CAN'T RIGHT NOW, BUT...
I SHOULD GO.
[CLUNK]
HOW ABOUT TOMORROW?
OH, JEEZ, I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW, BITCH.
I GOT A LOT TO DO.
SEE YOU TOMORROW. BYE.
SHE'S CERTAINLY PROUD
OF THOSE BOOBIES, ISN'T SHE?
SOMETHING TELLS ME SHE'S NOT
THE KIND OF FRIEND JESUS WOULD PICK, JIMMY.
WHEN I LOOK [STRUMMING GUITAR]
ALL A--
--ROUND [STRUMMING]
OH, I SUCK.
NO, NO. COME HERE.
NO.
YOU HAVE TO JUST PRESS HARDER.
OK.
HARDER. HERE.
LIKE...
NOW GO. NOW GO.
OK.
HARDER.
WHEN I LOOK [STRUMMING]
ALL AROUND [STRUMMING]
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS,
ONE NATION UNDER GOD...
[LAUGHS] EVERYTHING OK?
YEAH. LET'S GO.
Beach Boys: WOULDN'T IT BE NICE
IF WE WERE OLDER
THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT SO LONG
AND WOULDN'T IT BE NICE TO LIVE TOGETHER
IN THE KIND OF WORLD WHERE WE BELONG
YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA MAKE IT THAT MUCH BETTER
WHEN WE CAN SAY GOOD NIGHT...
Kids: TRICK OR TREAT!
Boy: SMELL MY FEET!
Jimmy: OH, HEY!
[CREAK]
Kids: AAH!
IN THE MORNING WHEN THE DAY IS NEW...
[BOTH LAUGHING]
IT'S BUBBLE GUINEA.
[SQUEAKING]
OH, MY GOD!
HI, BUBBLE GUINEA.
Chloe, softly: JIMMY!
[BOTTLE CLANKS]
Chloe: OW! AH!
STUPID GUTTER.
JIMMY! AH! OUCH.
JIMMY. AHH. HELLO.
CHLOE?
YEAH.
BUBBLE BOY!
WHAT ABOUT YOUR PARTY?
JIMMY, YOU HAVE TO WISH ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR PARTY?
UHH, THE PARTY.
I'LL SHOW YOU A PARTY.
COME HERE.
DON'T BE SHY.
HUH?
COME HERE.
MY MOM'S ASLEEP.
DON'T YOU WANNA GIVE ME A BIRTHDAY KISS?
CHLOE. HEH HEH. SHH.
SHH.
WHOA! OH, CHLOE!
Chloe: I HATE THIS STUPID BUBBLE.
I GOT EVERYTHING I WANTED FOR MY BIRTHDAY
EXCEPT YOU, JIMMY.
THAT'S WHY I'M COMING IN.
CHLOE, WAIT!
WHOA, WHOA.
DON'T WORRY.
YOU CAN DECONTAMINATE ME.
HEE HEE HEE.
WHAT?
RELAX. HAVE A BEER.
WAIT, UM, WAIT. CHLOE?
[BEER BOTTLE BREAKS]
I'M NOT SO SURE THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA.
JIMMY.
PLEASE LET ME IN.
OH, BABY
PLEASE?
AHH
UM, CHLOE? UH...
I, UH...
Jimmy: MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE LET HER IN,
BUT I WAS SCARED.
SO WHO COULD REALLY BLAME HER
FOR WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
HOLD ON.
[GIGGLING]
YOU LOOK BEAUTIF--
OH, HI.
Chloe: OOH, CORSAGE.
OH, I'M SORRY.
UM, MARK, JIMMY.
JIMMY, MARK.
Mark: 'SUP, JIMBO?
'SUP, M-MARKO?
Mark: YOU READY?
YEAH. JUST LET ME USE THE BATHROOM, OK?
ALL RIGHT.
PINCH IT QUICK.
SHE LOVES THAT ONE.
HMM.
CIGARETTE?
WHAT?
[SIZZLING]
S-SO CHLOE TELLS ME YOU'RE A MUSICIAN.
WELL, I ROCK, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
AHH YOU KNOW?
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GONNA DO TONIGHT?
YOU KNOW, A LITTLE BIT OF THIS.
UHH! UHH! UHH!
OH, YEAH.
OH, THAT'S IT, AHH.
OH, OH!
THAT'S IT. OHH!
SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
Chloe: ALL RIGHT.
ALL READY.
THAT'S HOW I DO IT ON STAGE.
DID I TELL YOU HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOK?
COME HERE.
Mark: I'M GONNA BE THE LUCKIEST GUY AT THE PROM.
Jimmy: ONE THING WAS FOR SURE.
MARK WAS COOL.
BYE, JIMMY.
Jimmy: WHO COULD COMPETE WITH A GUY LIKE THAT?
Chloe: HANDS.
Mark: I'M SORRY.
Mark: COME ON, CHLOE.
WE'VE BEEN GOING OUT FOR 2 YEARS,
I WANT A LITTLE ACTION.
Chloe: MARK, I TOLD YOU--
I WANNA WAIT TILL I GET MARRIED.
Chloe: HANDS.
I TRIED TO WARN YOU, BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN.
ALL WOMEN WILL LEAVE YOU SOMEDAY.
THAT GIRL DIDN'T LOVE YOU.
SHE JUST FELT SORRY FOR YOU.
YOU REALLY THINK SHE'D WANNA MARRY A BOY
WHO COULDN'T EVEN TOUCH HER?
[BURBLING]
Chloe: HEY.
HI.
ARE YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?
UM, YEAH.
YOU KNOW MARK?
WELL, WE'VE SORTA BEEN GOING OUT
OFF AND ON FOR A WHILE NOW
AND, UM...
WELL, HE...KIND OF...
ASKED ME TO, UM...
TO GO FISHING?
NO!
TO GO TO THE MOVIES?
NO!
TO GET MARRIED?
YES!
[GIGGLES]
THE WEDDING'S THIS SATURDAY IN NIAGARA FALLS.
I DI--I DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO TELL YOU, JIMMY, BECAUSE...
THE THING IS, UM,
I REALLY WANTED TO KNOW
IF YOU THINK HE'S THE RIGHT ONE,
BECAUSE IT'S SUCH A BIG STEP, YOU KNOW? AND...
JIMMY?
I MADE YOU SOMETHING.
[GUINEA PIG SQUEAKING]
TAKE BUBBLE GUINEA PIG,
'CAUSE I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE.
[HISS]
Chloe: SO THAT'S IT?
THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING TO SAY?
BYE, JIMMY.
[VIDEO GAME BEEPING]
GOOD-BYE.
CAN YOU STILL REMEMBER
HOW IT SEEMED
THAT WE COULD LIVE FOREVER
IN A LOVERS' DREAM?
THE FALLING WAS THE BEST PART
BUT NOW YOU KNOW
THE THINGS YOU CLING TO
YOUR HEART CAN START TO GROW
YOU, YOU'RE WALKING AWAY
I'VE BEEN THERE
NOW I KNOW WHAT TO SAY
I'M THE KING OF YESTERDAY
WHY DON'T--WHY DON'T YOU
STAY CHLOE!
GOD...BLESS AMERICA!
THAT NASTY LITTLE SLUT
LEFT JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME, MORTON.
[THEME FROM ROCKY PLAYS]
Jimmy: I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS UP AGAINST.
CHLOE HADN'T TOLD ME MUCH.
ALL I KNEW WAS THAT SHE WAS IN NEW YORK,
WHICH MAY AS WELL BEEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GALAXY,
AND I ONLY HAD 3 DAYS TO GET THERE.
3 DAYS. I JUST NEEDED
THE BUBBLE SUIT TO LAST THAT LONG.
FLYING HIGH NOW
I'M SO HIGH NOW
[HISS]
OOH!
OOH! OH, OH, OH!
[CRASHING] [JIMMY LAUGHING]
GETTING STRONG NOW
MOVING ON NOW
[MUSIC STOPS]
UHH!
AAH!
GRASS.
STREET LAMP.
[SQUISH] OH.
[SQUISH] OOH.
DOG POOP!
THIS IS AWESOME!
[LAUGHING]
I'M RUNNING!
[LAUGHING]
WELL, I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP
[LAUGHING]
WELL, I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP
[KNOCKING]
Jimmy: HELLO? HELLO?
HI. IT'S MY FIRST DAY OUT IN THE WORLD.
UM, I'D LIKE TO GO TO NIAGARA FALLS.
[CLICKS MICROPHONE ON] THAT'LL BE $260.
[CLICKS OFF]
[CLICK] PLUS I GOTTA CHARGE YOU
FOR AN ADDITIONAL SEAT FOR THAT...
STUPID THING YOU'RE WEARING. [CLICK]
OH, MONEY.
OH. MONEY.
[COINS JINGLING]
HOW FAR WILL THIS GET ME?
[CLICK] TAKE A STEP BACK.
[CLICK]
THAT FAR.
[CLICK]
[LAUGHS]
Jimmy: UM...
THE GIRL I LOVE IS GETTING MARRIED
AND I HAVE TO STOP THE WEDDING.
[CLICK] THAT'S FANTASTIC.
NEXT! [CLICK]
[CLICK] NEXT IN LINE, PLEASE.
[CLICK]
OK. HAVE A NICE DAY.
[HONKING]
[TIRES SCREECH]
[CLICK] THE WHITE ZONE'S
FOR LOADING AND UNLOADING ONLY.
[CLICK] [BUS BEEPING]
HEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
Lorraine: ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
WHAT IS IT?
Todd: OH, HE'S ALIVE!
[CHEERING]
I NEED TO GET TO NIAGARA FALLS
BY SATURDAY TO STOP CHLOE FROM GETTING MARRIED.
All: OH.
I'M TODD.
AND I'M LORRAINE.
AND WE CAN GET YOU TO NIAGARA FALLS.
All: YEAH!
BRIGHT AND SHINY!
Man: STICK HIM IN THE REAR!
[ALL TALKING]
[CHEERING]
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
PEOPLE ALL ACROSS THE LAND
COME AND JOIN OUR HAPPY BAND
ALWAYS HAPPY, NEVER GAY
LIVING CLEAN IS A-OK
BRIGHT
AND SHINY...
EXCUSE ME, TODD.
AND SHINY
IF YOU SAVE YOURSELF FOR GOD
YOU WILL GET THE GOLDEN ROD
GIVE UP ON SOCIETY
WE WILL BE YOUR FAMILY
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
[LAUGHTER] [HONKING]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
JIMMY! BREAKFIE!
[GASPS]
[DROPS DISHES]
Mom: JIMMY!
[DOGS HOWLING]
[COYOTES HOWLING]
All: THE KLOOBDA.
[TAMBOURINE JINGLING]
Lorraine: THE KLOOBDA IS
THE HOLY GUIDE TO LIVING PURE,
DICTATED TO GIL
BY A TALKING SALAMANDER.
BUT MORE ON THAT LATER.
THIS WILL HELP EXPLAIN.
Jimmy: PUT IT IN THE DECONTAMINATION BAY.
RIGHT THERE.
[HISS]
Lorraine: FIRST, WE PREPARE OUR SOULS
BY STRIPPING OURSELVES OF ALL MATERIAL POSSESSIONS
AND SEXUAL DESIRES.
HA HA HA HA!
[LAUGHING WEAKLY]
Woman: KOOL-AID, LORRAINE?
Second woman: THANKS, LORRAINE.
LORRAINE?
OOH!
HER NAME'S LORRAINE, TOO?
WE'RE ALL LORRAINE.
AND YOU WILL BE TODD,
A NAME CHOSEN ESPECIALLY FOR YOU BY GIL.
WHAT DOES BILL DO WITH ALL YOUR STUFF?
HE'S HOLDING IT FOR US AT THE COMPOUND.
WHERE'S THE COMPOUND?
I'M NOT REALLY SURE.
IN TEXAS?
OH.
Jimmy: YOU'RE NOT A SINGING GROUP,
YOU'RE A CULT!
HA HA HA HA HA!
Jimmy: WHY'D WE STOP?
THIS ISN'T NIAGARA FALLS!
THIS IS A DESERT!
YES--YES--YES, I-I REALIZE
THAT IN TYPICAL CASES
YOU HAVE TO WAIT 48 HOURS.
BUT, YOU SEE, THIS IS NOT A TYPICAL CASE.
MY SON IS A BUBBLE BOY.
HE'LL DIE OUT THERE!
WELL, YOU'LL CERTAINLY
BE IN MY PRAYERS TONIGHT.
AND I'LL BE PRAYING YOU GET NUT CANCER!
[SLAMS PHONE DOWN]
ALL RIGHT, PLAN B.
DID YOU FINISH THE NOTE?
"MR. AND MRS. LIVINGSTON,
"WE HAVE KIDNAPPED YOUR SON.
"PAY $100,000 OR HE DIES.
SIGNED, THE JEWS."
ARE YOU KIDDING?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND
IS GONNA BELIEVE THIS NOTE?
IT'S THE JEWS, MORTON!
THEY'RE GONNA WANT MORE THAN $100,000!
THINK, MAN, THINK!
I'M HAVIN' A BAD DAY
[COUGHING]
GET OUT OF MY WAY
[PANTING]
'CAUSE I'M HAVIN' A BAD DAY
UHH!
HAVIN' A BAD DAY
[SCREECHES]
GET OUT OF MY WAY
'CAUSE I'M HAVIN' A BAD DAY
HAVIN' A BAD DAY
GET OFF!
HAVIN' A BAD DAY
GET OUT OF MY WAY...
[SCREECHES]
UHH! AAH!
HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON?
[RAPS ON WINDOW] HELLO?
I THINK HE'S DEAF.
HAVE YOU SEEN MY BOY?
[CLICK] YEAH, YOUR WEIRD-ASS SON
GOT ON A BUS FULL OF, LIKE,
HAPPY PEOPLE SKIPPING AROUND ALL OVER THE PLACE,
AND THEY HEADED TOWARDS VEGAS.
YOU KNOW, SATAN'S ANUS. [CLICK]
THANK YOU.
YOU FILTHY, FAT, FILTHY DEAF MAN!
[CLICK] UM, I HEARD THAT.
[CLICK]
LET'S MOVE IT!
[CLICK] I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW
THAT I'VE LOST 2 POUNDS.
I HAVE MY ANKLE WEIGHTS ON RIGHT NOW
AND IT'S VERY HOT IN HERE
AND I'M LOSING WEIGHT.
I'VE LOST 4 POUNDS IN THE LAST 2 MONTHS.
[CLICK]
HAVIN' A BAD DAY
GET OUT OF MY WAY
'CAUSE I'M HAVIN' A BAD DAY
I'M HAVIN' A BAD DAY
GET OUT OF MY WAY...
HEY!
HEY, HEY!
WHOA!
WHAT ARE YOU...
[TAPS BUBBLE]
SOME KIND OF ASTRONAUT?
Jimmy: NO, I'M, UH,
I'M SOME KIND OF BUBBLE BOY.
HOW DO YOU TAKE A DUMP IN THAT THING?
UM, I THINK I COULD HELP YOU
WITH YOUR SITUATION HERE.
HOW'S SOME BUBBLE VATO GONNA HELP ME?
I GOT PATCHES.
PATCHES?
I COULD USE SOME STINKIN' PATCHES.
[CHEERING]
GIL!
GIL, WE LOVE YOU!
Gil: WELCOME, MY CHILDREN. WELCOME.
TODAY WILL TRULY BE A TIME OF SPIRITUAL ILLUMINATION.
[ALL GASP]
NOW, CAN ANYONE GUESS WHY WE'RE ALL HERE?
OOH!
OOH, ME!
Gil: YES, TODD.
TO FIND--
NO, THE OTHER TODD.
TO FIND OUT THE FINAL INCARNATION
OF THE CHOSEN ONE?
Gil: EXACTLY.
I CAN SEE YOU'VE BEEN READING YOUR KLOOBDA.
THE CHOSEN ONE IS AMONG US!
[CROWD GASPS]
HE WALKS THE EARTH.
HIS FINAL INCARNATION WILL BE...
[CROWD GASPS]
Gil: A ROUND ONE!
[CROWD CHEERS]
YES, THE ROUND ONE.
THE HOLY MESSENGER TRAPPED IN A LIVING GLOBE.
WE MUST FIND HIM AND RELEASE HIM
SO THAT HE MAY CARRY US,
ONLY TRUE BELIEVERS, TO THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.
AND THOSE WHO REJECT HIM WILL MUTATE
AND BURN ETERNALLY ON PLANET PX-41.
[CROWD GASPS] OR PX-42...
[CROWD GASPS]
IF THEY RUN OUT OF ROOM.
Gil: IF THERE ARE NO FURTHER QUESTIONS,
LET'S MOVE ON TO THE BUFFET.
[CHEERING]
SO THEY KICKED YOU OUT OF THE BUS
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT
TO DIE LIKE SOME PERRO?
YEP.
WHERE YOU HEADED?
Jimmy: NIAGARA FALLS.
I GOTTA GET THERE BY SATURDAY
TO STOP CHLOE FROM GETTING MARRIED
TO THE WRONG MAN.
HA HA HA HA!
LET'S CUT THE VATO, HUH, ESE?
I WASN'T PLANNING ON CUTTING THE VATO, NO.
SOMEBODY RUN OFF WITH YOUR OLD LADY,
LEGALLY YOU'RE ALLOWED TO CUT HIM.
Jimmy: SHE WASN'T TECHNICALLY MY OLD LADY.
I JUST NEVER, UM...
I JUST NEVER TOLD HER HOW I FELT.
Slim: WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
I WAS IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN.
Jimmy: DEBBIE?
NO.
OH, DANIELLE.
Slim: NO.
WILDFIRE!
OH, WILDFIRE!
SHE LOOKS REALLY NICE.
YEAH, BUT SHE LEFT ME FOR SOME OTHER VATO.
YOU KNOW, REAL BUTTONED-DOWN,
"I GOTTA GET A JOB" KIND OF VATO, YOU KNOW?
TO THIS DAY, ESE, I REGRET NOT FINDING HIM
AND CUTTING HIS HEART OUT IN A REALLY VIOLENT WAY.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
DON'T BE LIKE ME, ESE. DON'T LIVE IN REGRET.
WE'LL BE RIDING WILDFIRE
WE'LL BE RIDING
WILDFIRE Jimmy: OHH!
I'M--I'M OK.
Jimmy: LOOK AT THE LIGHTS!
Slim: NOW THIS IS LAS VEGAS, JIMMY!
Jimmy: WOW!
PARIS!
THAT'S BEAUTIFUL, AIN'T IT?
AND NEW YORK!
Slim: THAT'S BIG NEW YORK.
THIS IS AMAZING, SLIM.
HA HA HA HA!
GO FASTER! GO FASTER!
YOU LIKE THE WIND IN YOUR HAIR?
YEAH.
HA HA HA HA!
"WE HAVE THE LOOSEST SLUTS."
Slim: THAT'S "SLOTS"!
I'LL SHOW YOU HOW TO PLAY THE SLOT MACHINES.
WE CAN WIN SOME GAS MONEY
SO WE CAN GET TO NIAGARA FALLS!
ALL RIGHT, CHICAS!
HA HA HA HA HA!
Slim: OW!
HA HA HA!
THIS IS AMAZING!
Slim: THIS TOWN NEVER GOES TO SLEEP.
WE'RE GONNA DO SOME PARTYING!
[PLAYING HEAVY METAL MUSIC]
[WHISTLES]
WHOA! OH, NO!
Jimmy: WOW! OH HO!
HA HA HA HA! WHOO!
JIMMY!
WHERE ARE YOU, BABY?
MY BABY JIMMY?
HERE WE GO.
OH, YEAH.
OH, YEAH, COMIN' THROUGH.
EXCUSE US.
COME ON, TALK TO ME, BABIES.
LOOKIN' GOOD!
YES, ALL RIGHT.
[SLOT MACHINE CHIMES]
SLIM?
YEAH.
WHAT'S IT LIKE?
HA HA HA HA HA!
I COULD TELL YOU WHAT IT WAS LIKE WITH ME AND WILDFIRE.
1200 CCs OF AMERICAN STEEL VIBRATING BETWEEN YOUR LEGS.
OH, MAN.
I'M TALKING FOURTH GEAR.
4,000 RPMs! AY!
HA HA HA HA!
THAT SOUNDS AMAZING!
HA HA!
HEY, HORS D'OEUVRES?
Jimmy: OH, NO, THANKS.
I GOT MY OWN.
Slim: OK.
LAST ONE.
YOU GO FOR IT!
OH, NO. I COULDN'T.
Slim: GO ON.
YOU WANT TO WIN THE MONEY FOR OUR TRIP, DON'T YOU?
BUT WHAT IF I LOSE AGAIN?
YOU DIDN'T GET OUT OF THAT BUBBLE ROOM
TO PLAY IT SAFE, DID YOU?
YOU'RE RIGHT.
GO FOR IT.
[SLOT MACHINE MUSIC PLAYS]
[DING, DING, DING] OH!
Slim: I'M TAPPED OUT.
I'M GONNA GO STEAL SOME QUARTERS FROM THAT BLIND LADY.
SLIM, I DON'T THINK--
Slim: WAIT HERE! NO! HEY!
I GOTTA GO.
I ONLY HAVE 2 DAYS TO--
[OVERLAPPING TALKING]
WAIT! NO, SLIM!
I GOTTA GO!
I ONLY HAVE 2 DAYS LEFT!
Slim: IT'S GONNA AWESOME!
I ONLY HAVE 2 DAYS LEFT!
BOW-WOW BA-BA-BA BOW-WOW
BA-BA-BA-BA
BOW-WOW BA-BA-BA BOW-WOW
BA-BA-BA-BA
BOW-WOW BA-BA-BA BOW
RRROW-WOW BA-BA-BA BOW-WOW
BA-BA-BA-BA
Jimmy: I DIDN'T LIKE LEAVING SLIM
WITHOUT SAYING GOOD-BYE,
BUT I KNEW THE VATO WOULD UNDERSTAND.
THE WEDDING WAS 2 DAYS AWAY,
AND I ONLY HAD 12 CCs OF AMERICAN STEEL
TO GET ME THERE.
DON'T THINK I CAN'T SEE YOU GAWKING AT THOSE NEON BOOBIES.
JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE ROAD, MISTER.
HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN MY LITTLE BUDDY?
HE'S GOT, LIKE, FRIZZY HAIR,
AND HE'S--
HE'S IN A BUBBLE.
HEY, WHAT'S UP?
UHH!
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS LITTLE BUBBLE GUY, MA'AM?
[BUS BEEPS AND SLIM MUTTERS]
[TO HIMSELF] I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
Todd: EXCUSE. HOLA.
WE'RE A BIT LOST.
COULD YOU TELL US THE WAY TO--
NIAGARA FALLS?
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
YEAH. 'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE MY LITTLE BUDDY WAS HEADED
WHEN YOU LEFT HIM IN THE DESERT TO DIE!
[OVERLAPPING YELLING AND POUNDING]
Slim: COME BACK!
YOU BRIGHT AND SHINIES--
COME BACK AND GET SHINY ON MY KNIFE, HUH?
[BUS BEEPS]
Slim: HEY. HEY. HEY! HEY!
[CRASH]
[BUS STOPS BEEPING]
[CLATTER]
AAH!
THIS LOOKS LIKE AREA 51.
Mom: HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT, MORTON!
WHAT IS THAT?
A SPACE CREATURE? AN ALIEN?
OH, MY GOD! JIMMY!
BOW-WOW BA-BA-BA BOW-WOW
BA-BA-BA-BA
JIMMY!
STOP THE CAR!
JIMMY!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
AAH! [CRASH]
Jimmy: AAH!
UHH!
AAH!
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
[SIGNAL CLANGING]
Jimmy: I WASN'T QUITE SURE
JUST HOW I'D GOTTEN ON BOARD,
BUT I'D ALWAYS DREAMED OF RIDING A TRAIN.
THANK GOODNESS THE WORST WAS BEHIND ME...
OR SO I THOUGHT.
[WHISPERING]
Rubber woman: LOOK, HE'S AWAKE.
[WHISPERING CONTINUES]
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
[WHISPERING CONTINUES]
AAH!
SHH!
DR. PHREAK IS GONNA HEAR YOU!
HE'S GONNA HEAR YOU!
WHAT?
YOU GOTTA HIDE!
UM...
WH--WHAT DID YOU SAY?
HE SAID BE QUIET OR THE DOCTOR WILL HEAR YOU. SHH!
WHO ARE YOU?
THEY CALL ME THE HUMAN SASQUATCH.
WHAT'S YOUR REAL NAME?
UM...
CLARK?
SO WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?
WHY ARE YOU IN A BUBBLE?
TO PROTECT ME FROM GERMS.
I WAS BORN WITHOUT ANY IMMUNITIES,
SO EVEN A SINGLE ONE COULD KILL ME.
BUT YOUR DOCTOR WOULD KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT.
Li'l Zip: BE QUIET!
HE'S GONNA COME!
HE'S NOT YOUR AVERAGE DOCTOR.
HE'S DR. PHREAK.
WE'RE ALL A PART OF HIS NEW TRAVELING PHREAK SHOW.
HE OWNS US.
OWNS YOU?!
SHH!
Li'l Zip: BE QUIET!
HERE COMES DR. PHREAK!
Flipper boy: HE'S AN EX-CON.
IF HE FIND OUT YOU'RE IN THIS TRAIN, HE'LL OWN YOU, TOO.
[BRAKES SCREECH]
OH, LOOK! OH, NOW YOU DID IT, BUBBLE BUTT.
HERE HE COMES!
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! RUN!
HE'S A VICIOUS BRUTE.
[YELLING]
[THUD]
YOU'RE DR. PHREAK?
HA HA HA HA!
YOU'RE SO MINI! HA HA HA!
MINI? OH, NO!
NO!
ME, MINI?!
I'M NOT MINI!
NOT! NOT! NOT!
I'M NOT MINI!
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
Chicken man: HE'S THE BUBBLE BOY.
SHUT YOUR BEAK!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF YOUR COOP?
I SHUT UP.
YOU KNOW, I COULD USE
SOME FRESH MEAT IN MY SHOW.
WHY DON'T YOU HOP
YOUR LITTLE BUBBLE BUTT
BACK ON THAT TRAIN?
UH, THANKS, BUT, UM...
I GOTTA GET TO NIAGARA FALLS BY SATURDAY
TO STOP CHLOE FROM GETTING MARRIED.
THAT'S SO, SO BEAUTIFUL.
I, TOO, ONCE LOVED ANOTHER.
YEAH?
Dr. Phreak: FOR 10 MINUTES.
THEN I KICKED HER ASS OUT OF THE CAR.
OK. WELL, I GOTTA GET GOING.
Dr. Phreak: GOING?!
OH!
Dr. Phreak: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
YOU'RE A FREAK, AND I SHOULD KNOW.
THAT'S MY BUSINESS.
NO DECENT GIRL'S GONNA WANT TO MARRY A BUBBLE FREAK.
ONCE YOU GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK, FREAKY SKULL,
THEN GIVE ME A CALL.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING A FREAK?! UHH!
AAH!
[GASPS] [GASPS]
OH!
THAT HURT!
DOCTOR?
Jimmy: IS HE OK?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO...
Flipper boy: HE LOOKS SO SWEET WHEN HE'S NOT YELLING
YOU'VE KILLED HIM.
[TALKING QUIETLY]
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
WHOA!
GOOD LUCK! BYE!
UHH!
HEADS UP, BUBBLE!
OK. BYE!
GET YOUR OWN BAGS! WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM--BELLHOP?
HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING?
WE'RE GOING WITH YOU, DR. BUBBLE.
WE'RE GOING WITH YOU.
DR. BUBBLE? NO, NO!
NO. I--
YOU GUYS ARE FREE.
YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT NOW.
Chicken man: OH, WE'RE FREE!
FREE AS A BIRD!
ON TO NIAGARA FALLS!
ALL THE WAY!
OH, I LOVE IT!
Jimmy: LOOK, YOU GUYS. UH...
I GOTTA DO THIS ALONE.
OH, YEAH.
Jimmy: BYE!
Jimmy: IT SURE WAS NICE
OF THE TRAIN MAN TO LOAN ME HIS VEHICLE,
BUT IF I WAS EVER GONNA MAKE IT
TO THE WEDDING ON TIME,
I WAS GONNA HAVE TO FIND SOMETHING WITH A MOTOR.
OH, MY GOD!
HE AIN'T EATING MEAT!
CAN YOU ALL BELIEVE IT?
IT'S TOFU!
TOFU!
Jimmy: COULD ANYBODY GIVE ME A RIDE?
TOFU GIVES ME SUCH GAS!
Bar guy 3: BLOODY RED MEAT!
RARE! RARE AMERICAN MEAT!
[LAUGHTER]
YOU KNOW, THAT'S--THAT'S THE STUPIDEST LOOKING HAT
I'VE EVER SEEN.
IT'S ADORABLE!
Jimmy: HEY!
HEY!
[LAUGHTER STOPS]
STOP PICKING ON HIM.
OH!
I DON'T WANT ANY TROUBLE.
I'M JUST--
Sheriff: REALLY?
Bar guy: SISSY BEACH BALL!
WHY ARE YOU IN THAT BUBBLE, BOY?
Sheriff: HUH?
WELL, UM, BECAUSE I WAS BORN
WITHOUT ANY IMMUNITIES AND I--
IMMUNITIES?! WHAT THE HELL ARE IMMUNITIES?!
WELL, I AIN'T STICKING AROUND TO FIND OUT!
ME, NEITHER.
WHAT?
EVERYBODY OUT!
HE'S GOT IMMUNITIES!
Jimmy: NO, NO, NO, NO!
Bar guy: HE'S CONTAGIOUS!
I DON'T HAVE ANY IMMUNITIES!
DON'T TRY TO CHANGE YOUR STORY NOW, BOY!
Jimmy: I DON'T HAVE GERMS!
I'M NOT CONTAGIOUS!
I JUST NEED A RIDE!
I NEED A RIDE!
I HEREBY DECLARE THIS PLACE QUARANTINED!
Jimmy: I DON'T HAVE GERMS!
I DON'T--
[CRASH]
OH! OHH!
WHAT'S GOING ON, SHERIFF?
OH!
GUYS, I THINK YOUR BUILDING'S ON FIRE.
CARL PETERSON'S BEST PIG JUST DIED!
IT'S SPREADING!
BURN, BABY, BURN
DISCO INFERNO
BURN, BABY, BURN
BURN THAT MOTHER DOWN, Y'ALL
BURN, BABY, BURN
DISCO INFERNO
BURN, BABY, BURN
WHOO! JUST LIKE CALCUTTA IN THE SUMMER!
COME! FOLLOW ME!
COME ON!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
WHOA!
I DON'T THINK I'M IN!
Pushpop: STOP MESSING ABOUT!
THIS WHOLE TOWN IS GOING TO BLOW!
[CRASH]
[TIRES SQUEAL]
HA HA HA HA! BOY, HOWDY!
NOW, THAT'S A GOOD FIRE!
HEH HEH HEH!
[CRASH]
UH-OH.
[LOUD EXPLOSION]
DISCO INFERNO, YEAH
BURN, BABY, BURN
BURN THE MOTHER DOWN
BURN, BABY, BURN
[LOUD EXPLOSION]
ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!
CURRY!
Human Sasquatch: LET'S GO. LET'S GO. COME ON
WATCH OUT FOR THE FEET.
I TOLD YOU.
I TOLD YOU BEFORE.
LOOK OUT!
COMING THROUGH!
I'M ON THE RUN!
[TRAIN BRAKES SCREECH]
Mom: MORTON, THAT'S THE ONE!
JIMMY! JIMMY! WE'RE HERE!
MORTON, GET THIS THING OPEN.
JIMMY?! JI--
JIMMY--OOH!
LOOK AT THIS CUTE LITTLE BOY, MORTON!
CAN YOU TELL ME, HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON?
HE'S WEARING A LARGE PLASTIC BUBBLE SUIT.
I KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
I'LL GIVE YOU SOME CANDY.
HE STOLE MY FREAKS, THAT SON OF A BITCH!
OH! WHAT A POTTY MOUTH YOU HAVE!
WHERE WAS HE GOING?
SCREW YOU, LADY!
AAH!
[INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING]
Jimmy: THANKS.
THANKS FOR SAVING ME BACK THERE.
Pushpop: YOU'RE WELCOME.
THOSE WERE SOME CRAZY VATOS.
FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON, SHIVA HAS BROUGHT YOU
INTO MY LIFE LIKE A HOT FLASH.
YOU CAME TO MY DEFENSE,
AND THE LAW OF KARMA REQUIRES ME
TO RETURN THE FAVOR. YOU SEE,
THIS ICE CREAM TRUCK IS MERELY A CATALYST,
A WAY TO TEACH THE WISDOM
OF THE SACRED COW.
FOR WHO CAN RESIST ICE CREAM, EH?
I KNOW I CAN'T.
SO, HOW MAY I BE OF SERVICE TO YOU,
MY ZIP-LOCKED FRIEND?
I NEED TO GET TO NIAGARA FALLS BY SATURDAY
TO STOP CHLOE FROM GETTING MARRIED.
OH. I WAS THINKING
MORE ALONG THE LINES OF A FREE SNOW CONE,
BUT, OK.
NIAGARA FALLS IT IS.
LIVIN' IN THE LAND OF THE LOST
LIVIN' IN THE LAND...
[ROARS]
NO WAY IS THIS BETTER THAN JURASSIC PARK.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU AND BUBBLE GEEK
ACTUALLY LIKED THIS SHOW.
THE EFFECTS LOOK TOTALLY FAKE.
THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.
WHAT? IT'S SUPPOSED TO LOOK FAKE?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
I'M NOT HERE.
[RING, BEEP]
HELLO?
Mom: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY SON?
MRS. LIVINGSTON?
IS HE WITH YOU?
Chloe: HOW COULD HE BE HERE?
WELL, APPARENTLY HE'S ON HIS WAY
TO YOUR WEDDING IN A BUBBLE SUIT,
EXPOSING HIMSELF TO ALL THE WICKEDNESS
AND FILTH THIS WORLD HAS TO OFFER!
AND YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE!
Girl on TV program: COME ON! OVER HERE! COME ON!
COME ON!
Boy: OVER HERE!
Girl: COME ON! THIS WAY!
Boy: COME ON!
LET'S GO, MORTON.
CORRECTION. YOU TWO AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE
UNTIL I GET MY FREAKS BACK.
DON'T YOU TAKE THAT TONE OF VOICE
WITH ME, YOUNG MAN!
MORTON, ARE YOU JUST GONNA SIT THERE
AND LET HIM TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?
YEAH, MORT. ARE YA?
[FREAKS YELLING]
MY CAR!
MY FREAKS!
[YELLING]
[MOO]
Chloe: HELP! JIMMY!
AAH! JIMMY!
HELP!
HANG ON! HANG ON!
AAH! [CRUNCH]
SCREW YOU, GRUMPY!
HOP ON, BABE.
THANKS FOR SAVING ME, MARK.
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
IMMUNITIES, BABY.
IMMUNITIES.
[ROARS] AAH!
[CRASH]
[GASPS]
OH, DEAR.
OH!
LOOK AT THAT.
IT'S AN ELK.
OR IS IT A CARIBOU?
OR AN AMERICAN BISON?
[COW MOOS]
I, UH...
I THINK THAT IT'S A COW.
OH, REALLY?! A COW?!
I DIDN'T KNOW. [BEGINS TO SOB]
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
IT'S JUST A COW, PUSHPOP.
IT'S NOT--
[SPUTTERING]
JUST A COW?
JUST A COW?!
IN MY RELIGION, THE COW IS THE WOMB
FROM WHICH ALL LIFE SPRINGS!
HEH HEH HEH!
I HAVE TRANSGRESSED AGAINST SHIVA!
[SOBBING]
SHIVA?
Pushpop: THE 6-ARMED GODDESS.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KARMICALLY BITCH-SLAPPED
BY A 6-ARMED GODDESS?
I'LL TAKE THAT AS A NO! [SOBS]
OH! UM...
IT'S OK, PUSHPOP.
YOUR RELIGION'S ALL LIES.
PARDON?
THAT'S WHAT MY MOM SAYS.
I MEAN...
BOLLOCKS.
I MUST ATONE.
Pushpop: HIS MOTHER TAUGHT HIM.
WHAT NONSENSE.
MAY SHIVA SHINE UPON YOUR JOURNEY!
WELL, CAN'T WE, UH...
CAN'T WE DRIVE AND ATONE?
NO. ONE FOR THE ROAD.
WHAT?
NO, NO, NO. UM...
THERE ARE GERMS IN HERE!
FROZEN! NO GERMS!
[PUSHPOP BEGINS CHANTING IN PRAYER]
NO GERMS?
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?
[CHANTING]
Jimmy: THANKS FOR THE LIFT!
SO LONG!
ICE CREAM
Jimmy: IT WAS ONE THING THAT MY MOM
HAD NEVER HEARD OF THE BITCH-SLAPPING GODDESS,
BUT IT SEEMED LIKE EVERYBODY SHOULD HAVE HEARD
OF FROZEN, GERM-FREE ICE CREAM.
OHH!
[JIMMY LAUGHS WILDLY]
EVERYBODY LOVES ICE CREAM.
Dr. Phreak: STRIPPER.
Dr. Phreak: DYKES.
DEAR LORD, IF THOU FINDEST
THE STEALING OF THIS TRUCK OFFENSIVE IN ANY WAY,
PLEASE DIRECT THY WRATH UPON THAT MIDGET
AND NOT UPON US, THY HUMBLE SERVANTS. AMEN.
[ENGINE STARTS]
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S HAUL ASS.
ONE OF YOU TWO GOTTA DRIVE.
I CAN'T REACH THE PEDALS.
OK. UPSY-DAISY. WHOO!
[TRUCK HORN HONKS]
[HONK]
[MUTTERING]
[HORN BLARES]
[CHANTING]
[CRUNCH]
I AM COMING BACK AS A COCKROACH.
DEFINITELY A COCKROACH.
UHH! [MUTTERING]
AAH!
OH HO HO!
AAH! AAH!
NOW, WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THOSE HANDS HAVE BEEN, DO WE?
RUB THEM TOGETHER.
KILL THOSE GERMS!
THAT'S RIGHT.
GOOD BOY.
NO! STOP!
SHOW SOME RESPECT!
[MOTORCYCLES IDLING]
Slim: HEY! YO, HIPPIE!
YOU SEEN A BIG, YELLOW BUS WITH A LOT OF BRIGHT
AND SHINY CABRONES PASS THROUGH HERE?
NO, SIR.
I DON'T BELIEVE I HAVE.
YOU GOT ANY BOMB POPS ON THAT TRUCK?
OH, YES. PLEASE, TAKE THE WHOLE DAMN TRUCK.
ALL RIGHT!
[MEN CHEERING]
WHO WANTS A BLUE ONE?
[BRIGHT AND SHINIES SINGING]
EVERYTHING IS A-OK
BRIGHT AND SHINY
[BUS BEEPING]
[CRUNCHING]
UHH! UHH!
[MEN YELLING]
WHAT HAVE I DONE?
Mark's sister: YOU OK?
Chloe: YEAH.
IT'S JUST--
JIMMY'S MY BEST FRIEND.
WE BASICALLY SPENT EVERY DAY TOGETHER IN HIGH SCHOOL.
YEAH?
DID YOU EVER...
YOU KNOW, GET IN HIS BUBBLE?
Chloe: NO.
NOT THAT I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT, THOUGH.
Mark's sister: I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
I USED TO PLAY "SPIN THE BOTTLE"
WITH THE KID FROM SPECIAL ED. HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!
WELL.
I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, IT WOULD'VE NEVER WORKED OUT
BETWEEN THE TWO OF US.
YEAH. I MEAN, RUBBER COMES IN HANDY
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,
BUT LET'S NOT GO OVERBOARD.
YOU'RE WAY BETTER OFF WITH MY BROTHER.
YEAH. WAY BETTER OFF.
TAKE A LITTLE TIME
THROW IT ON THE LINE
LET ME BELIEVE
THAT YOU BELIEVE IN ME
BABY, TURN AROUND
LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT
TAKE A LITTLE TIME
THROW IT ON THE LINE
LET ME BELIEVE
THAT YOU BELIEVE IN ME
STAND AND TURN AROUND
LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND
YOU WERE THE ONE THAT I WANTED
TAKE A LITTLE TIME
THROW IT ON THE LINE
LET ME BELIEVE
THAT YOU BELIEVE IN ME
BABY, TURN AROUND
LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND
YOU WERE THE ONE THAT I WANTED
Jimmy: TAXI! TAXI!
HI! I NEED TO GET TO NIAGARA FALLS BY TOMORROW.
CAN YOU TAKE ME THERE?
DEPENDS.
DEPENDS ON WHAT?
GOIN' THAT FAR I'LL HAVE TO GET ME SOME DEPENDS.
AND 500 SMACKERS!
$500?!
WHERE AM I GONNA GET $500?
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
[CROWD CHEERING]
Emcee: WHO WANTS TO BE NEXT?
WHO WANTS THE $500?
NOW, WE NEED SOME FRESH BLOOD HERE!
WHOA! SPOTLIGHT ON THE DANCE FLOOR!
WHOA, I LIKE THE LOOK OF THIS!
MR. ALIEN, IS IT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DUMMY?
I SAW THE SIGN OUTSIDE
AND IT SAID THAT YOU HAVE $500, AND SO...
YOU WANT $500?
YES.
I WOULD LIKE $500.
YOU WANT $500?
YES. PLEASE, I WOULD LIKE $500.
[SCREAMING] YOU WANT $500?
[SCREAMING] YES, I WANT $500!
$500!
ALL RIGHT! [CHEERING]
OUR NEXT CONTESTANT, MR. ALIEN!
RED HOT, WORKING GIRL, BRING HIM ON OVER!
A BIG CHEER FOR MR. ALIEN!
[THEME FROM ROCKY PLAYS]
Crowd: MUD! MUD! MUD! MUD!
MUD! MUD! MUD!
$500!
Jimmy: AAH! HEY!
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING]
WHOA! OH, WHOA!
UNH!
[CHEERING]
[GIRLS GRUNTING]
$500!
[CHANTING] BUBBLE BOY! BUBBLE BOY!
[GIRLS SQUEALING]
$500!
GODDESS SHIVA, I REALLY NEED THAT MONEY!
OHH!
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS!
[CHEERING AND LAUGHING]
HA HA HA!
WE HAVE WINNER!
WINNER! WINNER! WINNER!
Radio: BITCH-SLAP ME, JESUS
I'VE LOST MY WAY
STRAYED FROM YOUR PATH
YET I PRAY
[SWITCHES STATIONS]
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT
WOOF WOOF WOOF
MORTON! I WAS LISTENING TO THAT!
YEAH, MORT.
A GIRL CAN'T GET 5 MINUTES OF QUALITY TIME WITH JESUS.
[INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING]
MAN, THIS IS SOME GOOD CURRY!
HA HA! YEAH!
[DOORS BANG]
Jimmy: I GOT THE MONEY!
Lorraine: LOOK! THERE HE IS!
I'VE GOT THE MONEY!
HA HA!
WE FOUND YOU, TODD.
WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
WE'VE COME TO SET YOU FREE!
OW!
Todd: YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE!
Jimmy: I DON'T NEED YOU TO SET ME FREE!
I DON'T--OH! [YELLING]
WAIT! WAIT!
LOOK! THOSE PEOPLE HAVE JIMMY!
STEALTH!
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
WE'VE GOTTA GET HIM AWAY FROM THOSE FREAKS.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
WE NEED A PLAN.
WE BLEND.
I GOT A PLAN.
WHAT SIZE SHIRT YOU WEAR?
AND NOW, TO AVOID MUTATING AND BURNING ON PLANET PX-41,
WE RELEASE THE CHOSEN ONE USING THE CEREMONIAL TWEEZERS.
[ALL GASPING]
WITH THIS TINY PRICK, I RELEASE THEE!
NO! NO! DON'T!
I'LL DIE!
[ALL GASPING]
IT MUST BE A TEST!
WHERE'S MY KLOOBDA?
RIGHT THERE, LORRAINE!
THANK YOU.
Chicken man: YOU'RE WELCOME.
Todd: WAIT A MINUTE!
YOU'RE NOT A SHINY!
WHO ARE YOU?
UH....TODD?
OH!
HI, TODD.
WAIT A MINUTE!
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR ARMS?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY ARMS!
WE'RE TOO LATE!
WE'RE MUTATING!
[SCREAMING]
WE'RE GONNA GET YOU OUT THROUGH THE FRONT OF THE BUS.
OH, GOD!
WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME?
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
HA HA HA HA!
HE'S GOT A BUBBLY FACE
AND A BUBBLY NOSE
MR. BUBBLE
[CLICK]
BUBBLE, BUBBLICIOUS
THE ULTIMATE BUBBLE.
[CLICK]
TINY BUBBLES
Audience: TINY BUBBLES
IN THE WINE
[CLICK]
I KNOW.
I MISS HIM, TOO.
COME ON, BUBBLE BOY!
HURRY UP!
COME ON!
THIS WAY, GUYS!
HURRY!
THIS WAY!
OW! GUYS! OH!
HEY! COME ON! TODD!
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
HEY, SHINIES! [SPEAKS SPANISH]
WE HAVE SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS, HUH?
NO, NO, SLIM.
THEY'RE MY FRIENDS.
THEY GOT HIM BRAINWASHED!
NO! NO! NO!
WAIT!
BUBBLE, WE'RE GONNA HELP YOU OUT! DON'T WORRY!
I'LL TAKE YOU ALL ON WITH ONE FLIPPER BEHIND MY BACK!
YOU WANT A MOUTHFUL OF TUNA?
FREE WILLY! FREE WILLY!
YOU'RE ALL...
I'M GONNA WHUP THAT ASS!
YEAH!
AAH! OH, MY GOD!
GET IT OFF OF ME!
[YELLING]
HA HA HA HA!
NIAGARA FALLS, AND STEP ON IT!
[TIRES SQUEAL]
[TRUCK BACKFIRES]
[SIRENS]
L'il Zip: IT'S THE COPS!
WAIT A MINUTE!
Sasquatch: DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!
WAIT A MINUTE!
WHERE'S BUBBLE BOY?
[TRUCK BACKFIRING]
YOU ASK ME IF I LOVE YOU
AND I CHOKE ON MY REPLY
I'D RATHER HURT YOU HONESTLY
POON[BANG]!
HUH?
CHASING A DAME, AREN'T YOU?
WHO AM I TO JUDGE YOU
LAST TIME I WAS IN A COMMOTION LIKE THAT,
IT WAS ALL ON ACCOUNT OF POON[BANG].
OH, WHAT THE ASTRONAUTS DRINK.
NO, NO. MY WIFE.
MY LITTLE CHINA DOLL.
YEAH, TILL THAT DAMN BROTHER OF MINE
TOOK HER OFF TO WAXAHACHIE.
SNATCHED MY POON[BANG] RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER ME.
86 YEARS AGO.
I AIN'T SPOKE TO THAT BASTARD SINCE.
DON'T LIVE IN REGRET, ESE.
HE'S YOUR FAMILY.
FAMILY. HEH.
Man: I REALLY GOTTA GO!
I TOLD YOU, ONCE WE'RE ON THE ROAD WE'RE NOT STOPPING!
THAN MISLEAD YOU WITH A LIE
Mom: AND AFTER ALL THAT,
THEY STILL DIDN'T GET YOU A NEW PUPPY?
NO.
OHH. [KISS] POOR LITTLE THING.
NO WONDER YOU TURNED OUT THE WAY YOU DID.
OHH.
AND SOMETIMES WHEN WE TOUCH
THE HONESTY'S TOO MUCH
[BACKFIRING]
[BACKFIRE]
[YAWNS]
[SQUEAKING]
MORNING, PAPPY.
YOU MUST BE TIRED.
YOU GET ANY SLEEP?
HA HA HA!
HEH HEH. I SAID, YOU GET ANY SLEEP?
PAPPY!
PAPPY? [TAPPING]
[BACKFIRE]
PAPPY?
PAPPY? PAPPY! STOP!
AAH!
[THUMP] OH! OW!
YOW! YEAH, I'M FINE.
[TRUCK BACKFIRING]
YOU HAVE A PHONE?
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[SHAVER BUZZING]
[RING]
[BEEP] YELLO.
[RING]
[BEEP]
[RING]
[BEEP] HELLO?
HI. IS CHLOE THERE?
Mark: UH, WHO CAN I SAY IS CALLING?
IT'S JIMMY.
OH. HELLO, JIMMY.
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
I'M REALLY CLOSE. LIKE, IN NEW YORK, I THINK.
LOOK, I DON'T MEAN TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE, JIMBO,
BUT IF YOU GOT A THING FOR CHLOE,
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, OK?
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN ONE HOUR.
WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTING TO HAPPEN, HUH?
YOU CAN'T EVEN TOUCH HER.
HOW ARE YOU GONNA HAVE CHILDREN?
DO YOU EVEN HAVE SPERM?
[STAMMERS]
FACE IT, DUDE, YOU'RE A CHARITY CASE.
CHLOE JUST FELT SORRY FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU LIVED IN A BUBBLE.
DO US ALL A FAVOR.
GO ON BACK TO PALMDALE WHERE YOU BELONG.
[BEEP]
[SIGHS]
[BUZZING]
[DIAL TONE]
Jimmy: I WASN'T QUITE SURE
WHAT MARK MEANT ABOUT THE SPERM...
BUT HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING.
EVEN IF I DID GET THERE...
I COULDN'T EVER REALLY HOLD CHLOE IN MY ARMS
OR KISS HER FOR REAL.
I REALLY WAS A FREAK.
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
[BEEP] HELLO.
HI, DR. PHREAK.
IT'S JIMMY.
Phreak: JIMMY WHO?
THE BUBBLE BOY.
JIMMY?!
GIVE ME THAT!
THAT'S MY PHONE!
HELLO? JIMMY?
MOM?
JIMMY!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH DR. PHREAK?
WHERE ARE YOU?
WHERE ARE MY FREAKS?
OH! OK, SWEETHEART, WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
DON'T MOVE!
MORTON, WE'VE GOT OUR BOY BACK!
GIMME THAT.
AAH! OW! OOH!
OW! EEK! OHH!
SON OF A BITCH.
MAMA.
[MUZAK PLAYING]
OHH! AAH!
[CANS FIZZING]
[CLANK]
I NEVER STOLE ANYTHING BEFORE
AND I JUST FELL OFF A DEAD MAN'S CAR
AND MY PARENTS ARE ABOUT TO COME PICK ME UP
AND THIS IS THE GIRL I LOVE'S FAVORITE BEER
AND I WAS JUST WONDERING, COULD I BORROW IT?
YEAH, SURE.
THANKS.
[BUBBLE SQUEAKING]
[DOOR JINGLES]
[COCKS GUN] NOW OPEN THE SAFE!
DO IT! CHOP CHOP!
[BEER FIZZING]
OHH...
AAH!
MY BABY!
THE SWEET LORD HAS DELIVERED YOU FROM EVIL.
OHH!
I MUST SAY, YOU PUT US THROUGH HECK, YOUNG MAN!
BUT I THINK YOU LEARNED A VALUABLE LESSON.
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME.
OK, MORTON, LOAD HIM IN THE CAR.
THE SPIRIT'S BURNING SO STRONG IN MY BOSOM,
I THINK I HAVE TO WEE-WEE.
[DOOR JINGLES]
[SIGHS]
HOW--AHEM--HOW WAS IT OUT THERE?
WAS IT FUN?
YOU CAN SEE THE MOON TODAY.
YOU KNOW, IT KIND OF MAKES YOU WONDER
WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF NEIL ARMSTRONG
HAD GONE ALL THE WAY TO THE MOON...
AND THEN NEVER STEPPED ON THE SURFACE.
[CLICK]
JIMMY!
MORTON, WHERE'S JIMMY?!
WHAT HAPPENED?
JIMMY! JIMMY!
JIMMY! COME TO MOMMY!
NO, MOM! I'M SORRY!
I GOTTA DO THIS!
IT'S ALL RIGHT TO TELL ME
I'M NOT COMING HOME!
JIMMY!
Lorraine: TODD!
JIMMY!
TODD, WE LOVE YOU!
WE'VE COME TO SET YOU FREE!
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
BACK OFF, BITCH!
HE'S THE MESSIAH!
WE LOVE YOU, TODD!
Mom: JIMMY, NO!
PEDAL TO THE METAL, FLIPPY!
LOOK!
[YELLING]
I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP
HEY!
WHOA!
[YELLING]
[SQUAWKS]
OH!
Flippy: JIMMY!
HA HA HA!
VAYA CON DIOS, BUBBLE BOY.
Man: HANG ON, KID.
PAPPY?
WH--AAH! SHIT!
Mom: WATCH OUT!
[TIRES SQUEALING]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
SLIM?
WILDFIRE?
WILDFIRE
Jimmy: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, PAPPY?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.
I AIN'T PAPPY.
I'M PIPPY.
I AIN'T TALKED TO THAT SUMBITCH BROTHER OF MINE
IN 86 YEARS.
AND THAT'S ALL ON ACCOUNT OF THAT--
POON[BANG]!
POONANI!
POONANI?
SISTER TO POON[BANG].
PAPPY TALKED ABOUT POON[BANG],
BUT HE NEVER MENTIONED ANY POONANI, PIPPY.
[ORGAN PLAYING WEDDING MARCH]
OH! HA HA!
Jimmy: OH, MY GOSH!
I MADE IT! I MADE IT!
Jimmy: HA HA HA!
NIAGARA FALLS!
OH, THERE'S THE CHURCH!
THERE'S THE CHURCH!
CHLOE! HA HA HA!
[AIRPLANE BACKFIRES]
[BACKFIRES]
TAKE ME DOWN, PIPPY!
TAKE ME DOWN!
[ENGINE STALLS]
OH, WE'RE GOIN' DOWN.
[BACKFIRING]
VERY FAST.
PIPPY!
Jimmy: AAH!
CHLOE!
[GRUNTING]
Slim: YOU DIDN'T BREAK OUT OF THAT BUBBLE ROOM
TO PLAY IT SAFE.
DON'T LIVE IN REGRET, ESE.
NO REGRETS.
NO REGRETS. NO REGRETS.
NO REGRETS! NO REGRETS!
NO REGRETS!
I MADE IT! HA HA HA!
SCORE, DUDE.
MMM.
I'M LATE! I'M LATE!
Minister: DO YOU, MARK, TAKE CHLOE...
TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE?
TO HONOR AND CHERISH, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH,
AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE?
OH, YEAH.
I'M ALMOST THERE!
I'M ALMOST...
AND DO YOU, CHLOE...
TAKE MARK TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND,
TO HONOR AND CHERISH, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH,
AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE?
COME ON, BABE.
EASY QUESTION.
Jimmy: CHLOE!
CHLOE!
JIMMY!
HEY, DUDE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO HEAD ON HOME?
JUST HOLD ON A SECOND, VATO.
VATO?
SHUT UP!
AM I OUT OF LINE HERE?
CHLOE, I...
WHAT?
JIMMY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[AIR HISSING]
JIMMY?
[HISS]
[GUESTS MURMURING]
I'D RATHER SPEND ONE MINUTE HOLDING YOU
THAN THE REST OF MY LIFE KNOWING I NEVER COULD.
SO IF YOU DON'T MIND...
MAY I KISS THE BRIDE?
[GUESTS MURMURING]
IS IT ME?
I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU, CHLOE.
JIMMY?
FOREVER.
OK?
JIMMY?! NO!
JIMMY!
JIMMY?
I LOVE YOU, JIMMY.
I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU.
HE'S DEAD!
YOU KILLED HIM!
OH!
OHH!
OH, JIMMY!
[SHOUTING]
Mom: MY LITTLE SWEET JIMMY.
[SOBBING]
OHH.
Mom: OH, MY ANGEL.
MY PRECIOUS LITTLE ONE.
[SOBBING] MY ANGEL.
TELL HIM.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
TELL HIM WHAT?
HE'S NOT DEAD.
YOU'RE NOT DEAD, JIMMY.
HE'S LYING.
TELL HIM.
TELL HIM EVERYTHING.
OHH...
YOU'RE NOT DEAD, JIMMY.
I'M NOT?
[GASPS]
OHH!
YOU DEVELOPED IMMUNITIES WHEN YOU WERE 4.
I COULDN'T BEAR TO LET THE WORLD RUIN YOU WITH ITS FILTH!
THERE ARE SO MANY AWFUL THINGS OUT THERE, JIMMY.
THERE'S SO MANY HORRIBLE...
[MOTHER SOBS]
I LOVE YOU, MOM.
OH!
OHH. MMM.
AIN'T THAT SWEET.
OH.
[SIGHS]
SO...
SINCE I'M NOT DEAD, UM...
[GIGGLES]
[APPLAUSE]
WOULDN'T IT BE NICE
IF WE WERE OLDER
THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT SO LONG
WOULDN'T IT BE NICE TO LIVE TOGETHER
IN THE KIND OF WORLD WHERE WE BELONG
MAY SHIVA BLESS YOUR UNION.
THANKS FOR THE ICE CREAM CAKE, PUSHPOP.
WELL SAID, MASTER.
[COW MOOS]
YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW ME THIS CLOSELY.
EVERYONE!
THE BUFFET IS OPEN!
[CHEERING]
Men: WINNER! WINNER! WINNER!
HERE.
FOR YOUR HONEYMOON.
WHAT IS IT?
$500!
$500?
$500!
$500.
$500!
HA HA HA HA!
IT'S A LONG STORY.
I'LL TELL YOU ON THE HONEYMOON.
THANK YOU.
TO FAMILY.
THAT'S RIGHT.
AND MY 40.
Mom: HAVE FUN, YOU TWO!
YOU, TOO, MOM.
DON'T WORRY. WE WILL.
HIT IT, SLIM.
HIT IT, ACE.
[MOTORCYCLE REVS]
[CHEERING]
TO FRIENDSHIP.
L'il Zip: NOW WE'RE GONNA PARTY!
JIMMY!
[CHEERING]
Pippy: CONGRATULATIONS, KIDS.
READY TO TAKE OFF?
PIPPY?
YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT FAMILY, KID.
PAPPY?
POON[BANG]!
POONANI! POONANI!
[BROTHERS LAUGHING]
WOULDN'T IT BE NICE
[CANS RATTLING]
[SCREECHES]
WOULDN'T IT BE NICE, OH, BABY
SLEEP TIGHT, MY BABY
GOOD NIGHT, MY BABY
SLEEP TIGHT
[MUSIC STARTS]
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
PEOPLE ALL ACROSS THE LAND
COME AND JOIN OUR HAPPY BAND
ALWAYS HAPPY, NEVER GAY
LIVIN' CLEAN IS A-OK
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
IF YOU SAVE YOURSELF FOR GOD
YOU WILL GET THE GOLDEN ROD
GIVE UP ON SOCIETY
WE WILL BE YOUR FAMILY
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
[CLAPPING]
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
PEOPLE ALL ACROSS THE LAND
COME AND JOIN OUR HAPPY BAND
ALWAYS HAPPY, NEVER GAY
LIVIN' CLEAN IS A-OK
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
IF YOU SAVE YOURSELF FOR GOD
YOU WILL GET THE GOLDEN ROD
GIVE UP ON SOCIETY
WE WILL BE YOUR FAMILY
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
BRIGHT
AND SHINY
L'il Zip: OH, I LOVE CADILLACS!
Chicken man: SHOTGUN!
SHUT UP, CHICKEN!
WE'LL NEVER FIT.
WHUP THAT ASS!