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(Court bell)
Order.
JUDGE: Silence in the court
In view of the witnesses and the testimony...
...the court has reached the conclusion that...
...Jayantilal is a professional criminal.
This court therefore holds the accused, Ratan alias Jayantilal...
...guilty of murder and under sections...
...302, 304 and 306 of the Indian Penal code...
...awards him death by hanging.
To be hanged till death.
(Background music)
(Photo capture sound)
Move away.
(Gunshot)
- Hurry up! - Mother.
Hurry up, nurse. Please!
- O God! - Don't worry, you'll be fine.
(Gasps)
Come on. Hurry up.
(Gasps)
Please wait here.
(Gasps)
(Baby's crying)
What happened, nurse? Is everything okay?
Congratulations, sir. Your wife has just delivered twins.
- What? Congratulations! - Congratulations!
- Thank you. - Double congratulations.
Congratulations to you too!
- Nurse, can I go inside? - Yes sir.
Thank you.
- Don't' worry, everything's fine. - Geeta.
Are you okay, Geeta?
- Yes. - Congratulations!
To you, too.
- Come. - One moment.
Doctor, what are those bandages for?
The babies were born hugging each other.
We had to do an operation to physically separate them.
Operation? There no danger then, is there?
No. There's nothing to worry about.
But both the children will share a reflex action.
- I don't understand. - Let me explain.
Now look at this.
(Baby's crying)
Which means that if one of them is hurt...
...the other will feel the pain, too?
Exactly. When one laughs, the other will also laugh.
And when one of them is hungry, the other will experience hunger too.
- Sir! - Yes?
The operation on Ratan is over, sir.
- Okay. Take him away to the central jail. - Okay sir.
(Background music)
- They're very cute, aren't they? - Of course, they are.
- They've taken after their mom. - No.
- They look like you. - No way.
They've taken after you!
Malhotra! Hands up! (Gun fire)
(Baby's crying)
No. Don't! Leave them.
(Gun fire)
- Leave my baby alone, Ratan! - Freeze, Malhotra!
Or I'll strangle this baby! Stop!
You can't escape, Ratan! Leave my kid alone, Ratan!
Let me have my baby! Don't do something crazy, Ratan!
(Baby crying)
Take care of the baby, nurse.
Look after Geeta.
Come on. Let's go.
(Background music)
(Foot steps)
(Train honking horn)
(Baby crying)
(Foot steps)
(Gasps)
- Ratan! - Dad!
- My son... - Dad!
Ratan, my brother! How did you get here?
There's no time to waste! Cop Malhotra is following me!
We must escape, before he gets here!
Ratan... (Police siren)
...you are surrounded from all the sides.
Return my baby to me!
Give yourself up!
(Police siren)
- Father, father. - Ratan.
Father!
- Don't cry son. - Father.
You're brave son of a brave father.
Get out of this place, as quickly as possible.
No, father... I can't leave you alone in this state!
Don't be stubborn, my boy. You must live a long life...
- To avenge your father's death. - Yes...
You must perform the last rites on my remains only when...
...you have killed Malhotra to avenge my death.
Give me your word, son... You will kill him, won't you?
That's my promise to you, father... I won't let him live! - Bravo!
Father!
(Crying) Come, you have to go.
No, no.
No! Father! - Then how will you avenge your father's death?
(Gun fire)
(Bomb explored)
Let's go, son! Son, come on, hurry up.
No.
- No. - Stop, sir! Wait.
Let me go! Leave me alone.
My son!
(Baby crying)
(Train honking horn)
(Background music)
(Birds chirping)
The doctor has given up hope, Sharma.
According to him, this is how she will always be.
That just can't be.
There's no ailment in the world which cannot be cured.
I have a friend in America who's a doctor. Let me talk to him.
Take your wife there.
As for the business, I'll handle it. Don't worry about that.
Go on.
(Background music)
Oh my!
How about the late-night show today?
The little fool!
(Laughs)
(Baby crying)
My God! This temple's turning into an orphanage!
They dump their children here after they are born.
Say what, priest? You can watch the baby crying.
Can't you cajole it into keeping quiet?
Why don't you do it, if that's how concerned you are?
Oh, sure!
Oh, baby!
Now look. Both of us have no one in this world.
This makes you my sister. Come along.
I'll bring you up.
Take care of yourself first, Raja! Think of others later.
I haven't been begging from you, have I?
You're hungry, aren't you? Come.
Let me get you some milk.
Milk, please.
- How about the money? - I'll pay you later.
Take the milk later, too. Scram!
- Two cold drinks. - Yes.
Here.
I've got milk for you!
My little sister will have milk.
The thief! Catch him!
Nab him. He's running with the purse!
Catch him! Thief!
Who are you?
- My name is Rangeela. - What?
Rangeela!
Why are you hiding? Come here.
How can I? They'll bash me up!
What a shame! A grown-up boy getting scared of a beating!
Watch it, ok? She's my sister.
Your sister is my sister. Don't worry.
Hit them.
Wait.
Hammer him.
More.
You silly idiot! You dare tease my sister?
Why, you fool? You were teasing Raja's sister.
- Let me go, for god's sake! - Let you go?
How can I let you go?
Look here.
What's all this about?
- Come on! - Come on.
Hit me!
You!
It's fun.
- Hit him in the face! - Where? The teeth?
Hit his teeth.
Very good!
Hi. (Cycle bell)
- One. - Two!
1, 2. - 1, 2.
Get lost.
How about it? Have a cold drink.
Nothing official about it.
Hit him!
Hit him more!
That's not a fight you're enjoying on television!
Go there and stop my brother!
Why are you spoiling all the fun?
What a thrashing he's giving them!
Hit him! Go on!
This is a college, okay? I study here.
- All this will spoil my reputation! - No way!
It'll only improve your reputation!
Let alone these thugs, even the principal...
...of the college will be scared of you!
(Foot steps)
- Is he your brother? - Yes sir.
You get your brother to the college to bully around.
I can rusticate you for that.
Whom are you trying to threaten, fatso?
My sister's not going job-hunting after finishing her studies.
She's going to do business, like me.
Let's go home. You've studied enough.
- Brother. - Come on!
I want to study in the college!
But I don't want it closed down!
(Car engine)
Move aside.
Where are you going?
- Have you read the scriptures? - He means the religious one.
Younger brother goes with the elder one.
- But you can't go there! - Why not?
Because he got into violence. Not you.
But I stood there clapping. How about that?
Shut up!
I get it now! You take away only those...
...who get into fights, right? - Yes.
Come here.
- What? - Come.
"Life rocks."
How about taking me too?
Get in, you fool!
Just sing the song.
Hello!
- Hi, guys! - How are you?
You're back.
They are back!
Uncle. - Hello. - Hello.
Hello!
"Life's good." - Here's your cell.
(Gasps)
Is that where we are going to stay?
It's terrible! The cell's neither painted.
No air conditioner. No bathroom.
I'd die in the heat!
- He says he'd suffocate to death. - Yes.
I know about your standards.
Manage with this room today.
I'll find another one tomorrow.
- All right. - All right.
- Listen. - What?
Tomorrow's the Republic day.
- So? - We'll have sports tomorrow.
- Would you guys be interested? - No, thanks. I'd rather sleep.
No, I'll play.
I love sports! I'm all game! What competitions do you have?
We're having a 400-metre running competition - Yes.
We'll have high-jump, long-jump and the pole-jump (vault), too.
Pole-jump? You mean we'd have to break the poles apart?
That's great!
The pole is actually a long stick which is held like this.
As you run towards the target, dig it into the ground and...
...jump across to the other end!
(Car break)
(Car engine)
(Background music)
Very good!
Very bad!
- Who are these guys? - Jack.
- Catch! - Catch!
- Come.
- Come along! - What are you doing?
- He's roughing me up! - Got you.
I'm sure to get another promotion now!
I'll get a double-promotion!
How's that? - The chap you've got is the assistant.
- I've got his boss here! - Get lost!
- Hand him to me. - No! I've caught him!
Do you know me?
- Sure! The rustic from Jaunpur! - I'm your boss.
Senior inspector!
He became my boss by cheating.
- Betrayal? - Yes!
He betrayed me and won a promotion!
I can't understand this thing about one cop conning another!
- Did you hear that? - See?
We'll decide about the truth now.
To begin with, leave Raja.
- Leave Raja alone, he says. - Yes.
State your case now.
And let Mr. Raja decide the case.
- He'll decide. - He'll decide, the chap says!
- Okay. - What happened...
...recently, was that I walked 5 kilometers to nab...
...the dreaded criminal, Charles Sobhraj.
This chap arrived there and said have a soft-drink while...
...I keep an eye on the criminal.
The commissioner came there and asked...
...who'd caught the crook and he said he'd caught him!
I wasn't lying, was I? I was actually holding him.
I told that to the commissioner.
But I who caught him!
And I'd turned him in!
- You're a cheat! - Don't you be insolent!
You'll lose your job, if I report to the commissioner!
I'll lose my job, when I will.
- But you've already lost yours! - How's that?
- There goes the job with your jeep! - Catch them. Please.
No. I'm not well.
That's an order. Catch them!
Not catch. Chase.
- Let's go! - This way!
- I've got a brilliant idea. - Idea? (Car stopped)
(Car engine)
Let's take advantage till we have this jeep with us! - What?
- Let's steal all day! - What?
Steal.
- Steal? - Yes.
And people will blame the cops!
Look! There's a bank there!
(Car passing sound)
Why are you clutching the bag to your heart?
Any crook would know you've...
...withdrawn lots of money from the bank!
- So then? - Walk casually.
- You know what? - What?
You've said something sensible for the first time in your life!
Shut up.
Such wisdom does not befit you!
Let's go.
Look at him inviting the thieves!
The lousy idiot!
They repent that...
...they've been robbed and plundered!
Stop there!
The thief has made away with our stuff! What do we do now?
Turn the jeep around!
Start it.
My God! What a calamity! I hope you aren't hurt, sir.
What a shame! Having taken birth in the holy land of India, this chap...
...instead of slogging like a mule and living like a dog...
...is into thievery!
Who the hell are you?
- What's wrong with his voice? - Who is he?
(Background music)
It's a tramp in the garb of the thief!
Where are you from?
- From the central jail, no less! - What?
Who are you to be questioning us?
We're going to do all the asking now, okay?
Where are you coming from?
Why?
- Because we're cops! - Cops?
But you look like crooks!
But that's the idea!
All the crooks of the world think we're one of them.
Oh really? - And that's exactly how we catch them!
For instance, you're a thief.
- But you look beautiful! - She's very good-looking.
Isn't she?
Just step back and give that bag to me.
Walk straight to the police station and give yourself up to the law!
Why? Won't you come?
Yes! Let's go.
- Let's take her! - Yes.
Go and sit in the jeep!
- Okay. - She's good.
- Woo her. - What is it?
Look there!
Where are you off to?
We'd have to push it. The battery's down!
- Let's go! - There she goes!
Meet me later, sister-in-law.
- Where are you going? - There's my loyal jeep...
...out in search of me!
- Come! - Stop this jeep!
It isn't looking for you. It's hurtling towards us! - Stop it.
Save yourself!
Go inside. Jam the gears!
God!
Where are the crooks who had escaped away with my jeep? - What?
They were crooks?
Never mind that. Where are they?
They've even stolen my bag!
- How much was there? - Vidyarthi!
- How much money? - Only my father knows.
You mischief-maker!
After making me lose my dough with your silly advice...
...you're having a feast in here!
No lunch for one year for you.
- A year? But, brother-in-law? - Yes.
You get no toilet-soaps for 2 years!
- I'll spread the stink around! - That's all right!
You will get no hair-oil for 3 years.
And razors for a shave are out for 4 years!
You haven't lost a treasure that...
...you're punishing as if I'm a dreaded criminal.
How much money was the bag carrying?
Don't ask! You'd faint out of shock!
- It had 110 rupees. - God!
You've lost a fortune, haven't you?
Your father's a tough man who didn't suffer a stroke...
...fearing the expenses.
Whoever has stolen my money, will never be happy in life!
He'll rot to death.
The family will become beggars one day.
It's not fair to curse his whole family, daddy!
Curse the thief, if you must!
What? A female?
I'm dead.
How do you find your daughter?
Like my daughter, naturally. How else would she be?
Have you seen her clothes?
I think she's the thief.
Shut up!
My daughter hasn't reached a stage...
...that she would've to steal to live!
She's destined to rule the world!
The astrologer who predicted...
...had also said that she'd marry a thief! (Gasps)
(Background music)
"Come and settle in my heart."
"Come and settle in my heart. Woo me or get wooed."
"This is a monsoon story."
"Drench me in your love. My youths' ever so thirsty."
"Why are you thinking, rain on me."
"My youths' ever so thirsty."
"What are you thinking, pour on."
"Woo me, or get wooed."
"What are you thinking, pour on. Woo me, or get wooed."
"Come and settle in my heart. Woo me or get wooed."
"Come, settle in my heart. Woo me, or get wooed."
"Slippery is the path of love."
"And your seducing gaze."
"The paths of love are slippery."
"And so are your eyes."
"The paths of love are slippery."
"And so are your eyes."
"What are you thinking, slip on."
"Woo me, or get wooed."
"What are you thinking, slip on."
"Woo me, or get wooed."
"Come, settle in my heart."
"Woo me, or get wooed."
"The eyes shall meet the eyes."
"And pass such cutting gaze."
"Our eyes will meet."
"And pass such cutting gaze."
"Our eyes will meet."
"And pass such cutting gaze."
"Either save me or be gone."
"Woo me, or get wooed."
"Either save me or be gone."
"Woo me, or get wooed."
"Come, settle in my heart."
"Woo me, or get wooed."
"You're salty, let me taste you."
"On my lips let me put you."
"You're salty, let me taste you."
"On my lips let me put you."
"You're salty, let me taste you."
"On my lips let me put you."
"You'll be in trouble, go and hide."
"Woo me, or get wooed."
"You'll be in trouble, go and hide."
"Woo me, or get wooed."
"Come and settle in my heart. Woo me or get wooed."
"Reside into my heart."
"Hook me or get hooked."
(singing) My darling brother.
What is it, darling-sister?
Do you know how many girls are getting married nowadays?
There are so many weddings around.
We're not part of a band, okay?
Nor are we labourers working at the celebrations...
...to keep track of that!
I'm bored of life. I need a companion.
Don't worry about that! I'll bring home a wife who will...
...wash your hair. - Apply shampoo to it!
- When you want your hair done. - She'll do it for you!
- When your brother goes out. - She'll spend time with you!
- And when you go out. - She'll spend time with me!
Shame on you! You have an unmarried sister at home...
...and you're thinking of your own wedding!
We thought you were talking about your brother's marriage.
If this is how you guys will be, you'd better watch out!
I'll bring home a guy one fine day...
...and ask you to accept him as your brother-in-law!
- Neelam? - Yes.
You've brought me to my senses today!
I'll find you a good husband!
We'll have to work day and night, collecting money for your dowry!
- Really? - Got it?
- I do! Do you understand too? - No.
No, she doesn't!
"My darling sister will soon be a bride."
Greetings, sir.
Greetings. Do come in and sit down.
What can I do for you?
I don't keep knives as mortgage.
Ornaments will do.
This is not meant to be pawned!
It's meant to stab you! Now quietly hand us all the ornaments!
How can I? It belongs to other people?
Hurry up. This chap has already killed thrice.
Pardon me?
I've murdered thrice.
- Let me have the jewels or I'll stab you. - Yes.
Hurry up! We don't have time to waste!
This is good.
Take this!
- It's good! - Look at this necklace!
It'd look great on my sister!
- Look at these heavy bangles! - It's fantastic!
They're better than the jewels that the film stars wear.
What are you laughing for?
Look down.
- There's nothing there. - At the knife, I say!
So, my boys. Acting smart with me, are you?
Now look! Quietly hand over the ornaments to me!
Or this knife will stab and kill both of you.
- My mother's! - What?
These ornaments are mementos of my late mother!
How can I give them away to him?
He's a thief.
We don't want to pawn our ornaments with him...
...but he's forcing us into parting with them!
- Is anyone there to help us? - Help!
- They're lying! - Help!
Born in the holy land in India...
...instead of slogging like a mule...
...and living the life of a miserable dog...
...you're into thievery now? So, what's going on?
That's a line from the block buster.
Not the film, you idiot.
They are actually my words! She's that thief!
And you, you impostor! Out with the ornaments!
- You seem to be my hero! - Oh really?
Come on. Quick!
- Out with the ornaments! - But that's mine.
Shut up!
When two thieves...
I mean, when a cop is talking to a thief, never interfere.
- Okay? - Excuse me!
- What is it? - Take a look.
- It's the cops! Let's flee! - Police!
- Run. - My jewels.
Where are they? What's wrong?
- What happened? - Robbers?
I've seen a cop flee at the sight of another cop for the first time!
- They're not cops but thieves. - Thieves?
Let us grace them.
Not grace, but chase them.
- Okay please! - Let's go!
Catch him!
(Foot steps) God. I'm so tired.
Looks like there's no one around in this house either!
So, let's make away with whatever we can find!
This is a police station!
Rangeela? You?
Why are you following me?
Why? I'd even lay down my life for you.
- I only need your consent. - Lay off!
Have you ever seen yourself - I have.
I certainly look like a heroine!
What do you think, my hero?
(Car engine sound) Get lost.
Look!
They've slipped out of my hands again.
Had you listened to me, it wouldn't have happened!
Listen to you? First speak to me properly!
Had you extended any bit of operation today... - Co-operation.
Had you extended co-operation I'd have been promoted!
Promotion!
Seen yourself?
Shall I rap it?
- Touch me, if you can! - The lousy mosquito!
(Gasps)
Where are you, Raja?
My Raja's lost.
This is a police station?
No. It's a railway station.
And we're both express trains. Hop in!
I haven't come to hop in!
My Raja's asleep.
So what can we do, if he's asleep?
He's asleep.
- He's lost, you mean? - Yes!
This chap is Rangeela. His side-kick.
- You're Rangeela? - I'm Nandu! I'm everyone's, friend.
Are you? Then prove it.
"Don't break my heart."
This is Nandu from the blockbuster film Raja Babu.
I've seen it 8 times. He's Nandu.
My friend is lost.
Now don't cry!
Just sit down, while I note down your complaint.
- Sit down. - Yes.
Raja.
Okay, Vidyarthi. Sit here and give him company
- while I go and find them. - You are not going anywhere. I am.
You want to catch them and ruin my promotion!
No, not done.
You are not going. I am going.
- But... - No!
Well, okay. Go ahead.
(Gasps)
Now wait a minute! Why is he so considerate towards me today?
Something is certainly fishy! But I'm smarter.
(Singnig)
I've got both of you!
- Let me go! - I'll get my promotion!
Let them go! I've got a...
...loaded gun and I have your back to me!
- I have a gun, too! - Who's that?
Police commissioner.
- Good night sir. - Okay.
- What a commissioner!? - Turn.
- Nandu? - Everyone's pal.
Catch them!
- Why? You catch them! - Catch!
- I won't. - I beg of you.
- No, you catch. - Please!
(Foot steps)
(Telephone ringing)
Hello!
Hello! This is Malhotra calling from America.
Just a moment! I'll call my brother-in-law.
There's a call from America, brother-in-law!
How often have I told you not to touch those phones from America?
I've only picked up the Indian phone.
- He's handling the phone there in America - Quiet!
Hello? Sharma here!
Sharma? This is Malhotra calling from America.
How are you out there?
How did you find the pickles I'd sent?
(Laugh)
They were excellent.
I'll send you some more, when I find someone going abroad.
Actually, my son is landing in India by tomorrow morning's flight.
For the pickles?
What a colossal waste of money!
I'll send them to you.
It's not for the pickles.
He has a musical program in India.
What?
Your son is a singer then?
You could say that. Actually,
I wonder if you could show him a girl he can marry.
Why another girl? My daughter's here.
You wouldn't find a girl like her anywhere else in the world!
Your daughter, did you say. Fantastic.
I have no objections, if my son approves of your daughter!
But just remember this.
In spite of staying in America, he has...
...not forgotten his Indian roots and culture.
My daughter is also...
...a hardcore Indian.
I'll have your son put up at my place, okay? Don't worry!
Okay bye!
My luck! I've found a son-in-law without any efforts!
Roopa!
Are you ready?
It's time for the flight to land. Hurry up!
Now look at my baby! You still have no dress-sense, do you?
What's wrong with this dress?
It's typically Indian, isn't it?
The dress is undoubtedly Indian.
But the person arriving is an American, isn't he?
How is he going to approve of you, dressed like this?
You've covered yourself from head to toe!
The charms of my beautiful girl are just not on show!
You haven't even let your neck be bare so he could put the holy thread.
I'm going to the airport only to receive him.
And not marry him, okay?
May the lord save my innocent little girl from the evil eye!
Why have I spent so much of money...
...and called him over from America to perform in India?
So that he approves of you and becomes my son-in-law! Understand?
Now wear the dress I ask you to and come with me!
- Okay mom. - You're a good daughter.
Hurry up, dear!
Come!
Hurry up, brother-in-law.
The aircraft must have landed. Come.
- But, dad, I don't want to come with you! - Come.
- Is he returning from the airport, dad? - He's going to stay with us!
I could have met him at home.
Why did you have to drag me here?
The moment he lands in India,
I want you to be the first girl he sets his eyes on.
- And fall in love with you, too. - Let me go!
Whom will he marry, if he loves her?
- Why? He'll marry me! - You?
What would people think, if you continue dragging me like this?
- What is this? - Daughter and father...
...love each other deeply! - Oh really!
So the father is dragging the daughter away.
That's not right, brother-in-law. They'd think...
...that your daughter's in love with a hooligan.
- So you're sending her away abroad! - Got it?
Your mouth stinks! Use some adhesive to shut it!
- Greetings, Mr. Sharma. - What?
- How are you? - Fine.
- What brings you here? - To play cricket.
I'm here to receive my friend's son.
Can't you see that much?
Watch it, brother-in-law. The garland will snap!
This girl isn't made of flowers to...
- Where's Mala (garland)? - It's in your hands.
Not this, you idiot! Where's Mala, my daughter?
That's right. Where is she?
Here you are! I've been looking for you all over.
- Come closer, will you? - Why?
Because my father wants to be a grandpa.
- And my uncle wants... - Keep your distance!
- I'm worried, anyway. - Do you know?
My father has imported a brand new hero for me from America!
- That deserves applause! - What?
To welcome the new hero!
(Background music)
That American is supposed to marry me, you know?
I see! But, that's wonderful!
What?
- I am very sorry. - It's all right.
It seemed as if someone had pushed me.
Okay, it's all right.
I am very sorry.
I said it's okay. Sir!
Put the matrimonial necklace around my neck, my love!
And let this Mala adorn your neck!
Move aside!
- I'm not interested in such things, okay? - Is that so?
I've apologized to you thrice, for falling on you just once.
But you still pushed me!
I haven't pushed you, sir.
I wonder what's happening!
This chap falls over girls, even as he walks around!
Let's make some love, before you go!
Now look! I can't waste time on these things!
Can I have a dozen kisses?
Why are you being a bore? Just get lost!
Get lost.
- One sip, please! - No.
One sip to me and one for you.
Oh inspector!
What was that?
Nothing. It's your ears!
Hi, there!
- What are you doing? - Come here.
- Sorry! - Sorry.
Hello! Welcome to India!
You?
I'm Sundari Motwani, from the women's organization.
I'm the one who has organized this program for you.
This is my daughter, Roopa.
Looks like my sister, doesn't she?
That's Prem (love), Roopa.
You may love him! I mean, say hello.
- Hello. - Why are you calling them?
To get a kiss from you.
But if they come over, I'll be in trouble!
- Then quietly give me a kiss. - Won't you behave yourself?
Inspector!
Mummy!
Good boy! That's a fast boy, isn't he?
- You've answered my prayers at last, lord - Mummy?
- That chap's kissing her! - Get lost.
- What am I supposed to do? - Stop him!
Relax, son, this isn't America! You're in India.
- That could land you in trouble! - Say, sir.
They're kissing out of love. Why do you interfere?
Are you nuts?
You've barged in without reason.
Brother-in-law! He's still at it.
That's my tough luck!
Had my daughter been here, he'd have been kissing her!
That chap seems to be in such a hurry...
...that had you arrived first, he'd have grabbed you and... - Shut up!
What would they say, if they heard you?
- She's listening! - What is it?
- Baby! - Baby.
(Crying) I am sorry! I am very sorry!
Please understand!
(Crying) Here.
I am very sorry!
She must've felt bad.
But I haven't taken any offense!
Why must you anyway? You're not the one he has kissed!
Do you recognise me, son?
Yes - I'm your uncle!
- Uncle! - Yes.
- Come son. - Let's go home.
- Come along. - Prem?
The fool has taken him away!
Rupa.
Did you see what your daughter has done?
She's ruined all the efforts I had put in.
I'd taken her to the airport...
...so that he'd see her there and approve of her.
I wonder where she's disappeared!
She is your daughter, after all. I spoke.
"O stranger, don't go away."
What's this daddy? Where did you disappear?
Dad? Do you know how worried I was?
That's wonderful! Now she's accusing me!
Was it we who disappeared or was it you? You decide this!
- What? - It's your mistake.
You've spoilt her with your pampering.
- She's taken after you. - Get lost.
What are you standing here for?
The American is upstairs. Go and keep him company!
Sure! After I've kept him company,
he'll run away from India and head straight for the U. S!
- See you dad! - Don't do something funny.
What's that now?
Everything is fine!
Just because the Americans didn't let you sing and dance...
...you came to India, right?
But you won't achieve anything here! You'd better return.
It's you?
You're fantastic, my love!
You've even packed off the Yankee and landed in my bedroom!
Oh my Lover! You are so clever!
- Raja? - I'm not your lover.
Leave me alone!
What's up? What happened!
- Why did you scream? - Why?
- Who's she? - She's my sister's daughter.
How's she related to you?
- She... - This man's my sister's husband.
Let me speak! That's my daughter, Mala.
Forgive me, my lord!
Sorry.
- My benefactor, my dear father! - Who? - My father!
I've taken him for my husband, with all my heart and soul!
Oh God!
(Gasps)
How did the Indian traditional spring from western?
What did you do to her? She has changed completely.
I'm no son-in-law! My name is Prem Malhotra.
This chap can't be your son-in-law.
Did I ask you for your opinion?
I won't speak anymore.
I get a scolding on speaking.
(Telephone ringing)
- Hello? - Hello.
Sundari speaking.
Oh hello! How are you?
Prem here.
When is the program?
It's scheduled for 6 p.m.
But you must be there at 7 p.m. sharp.
At 7 p.m? Why is that?
That's Indian punctuality!
Nobody pays attention to those who are punctual in this country!
The latecomers are considered to be stars!
No, thank you. I'll be there at 5...
...and begin the show at 6 p.m.
"Maiden from London, no way."
"American beauty, no way."
"The girl from Hong Kong, no way."
"Mademoiselle from Paris, no way."
"India."
"Nothing official about it!"
"The girl from here is just great."
"Saree on her body is just great."
"Dot on her forehead is great."
"Earrings are great."
"Anklets on her feet are great."
"Lipstick on her lips is just."
"Her innocence is just great."
"Her coyness is just great."
"The best in the world is our India!"
"We are the little birdies of this utopia!"
"It's ours."
"East or West! India is the best!"
"East or west, India's the best."
"The weather here is just great."
"The monsoon here is just great."
"The garden here is just great."
"The life here is just great."
"Industrialists are just great."
"The flour here is just great."
"Brands of shoes are great."
"Pretty girl's slap is just."
"Cricketer's batting is just great."
"Superstar's acting is just great."
"The batsman is just great."
"The bowler is just great."
"The singer is just great."
"The percussionist is just great."
"The dance form is just great."
"The Punjabi dance is just great."
"The Marathi dance here is just great."
"The Gujarati dance here is just great."
"Our India is best in the world..."
"We are the buds and it is our garden." - "It is ours..."
"East or west, India is the best..."
"Everyone here lives their lives in absolute ecstasy."
"The fun that you will find here is rare."
"The Eid here is just great."
"The Diwali here is just great."
"The Holi here is just great."
"The bride's palanquin is great."
"The traditional dress is great."
"The sweet talk is just great."
"North, south, east or west!"
"India is the best!"
"The land of culture, the land of green."
"This is the land of you and me!"
"The leader is just great."
"The Mughal emperor is just great."
"Mahatma Gandhi is just great."
"Mr. Nehru is just great."
"Baba Ambedkar is just great."
"Mother Teresa is just great."
"We are taking it up. We are taking it down."
"This is the Indian town."
"Together we are strong. In god we trust."
"Yes, you cannot beat us."
"Taj Mahal is just great."
"Charminar is just great."
"Mango pickle is just great."
"The love here is just great."
"The superstar is just great."
"The model is just great."
"All India Radio is just great."
"DD Metro is just great."
"National television is just great."
"The army here is just great."
"The navy here is just great."
"So, come on. Everybody in India."
"Come on. You know I'm telling you."
"Come on. Everybody in India."
"Welcome to India."
"The best in the world is our India!"
"We are the little birdies of this utopia!"
"It's ours!"
"East or West! India is the best!"
"East or west, India is the best."
"Come on! Let me hear you say."
"India."
C'mon, c'mon, everybody say!" - "India!"
"India, we love you!"
"India, for me and you!"
"India from the bottom to the top."
"India is here, you cannot stop."
"India, let me see your smile."
"India, I love that style."
"India, is happening now."
"India is here, we are so proud!"
Speak up!
Go on! I'll get the truth out of you, no matter how long it takes!
Tell me.
Speak up! Whom do those trucks belong to?
- Who owns them? Tell me! - I don't know.
Tell me! Speak up!
- I don't know. - They belong to us.
(Grunts)
(Foot steps)
They call me uncle.
I'm Tiger's mentor.
What brings you here?
It's nothing much, inspector.
I have about a 100 trucks plying in the country...
...which transport cocaine, marijuana and other narcotics.
You don't have to be surprised.
Every cop here knows about it.
But they keep their lips sealed.
Sit down.
Inspector, the government pays you about...
...5000 rupees a month for your job.
But I will pay you 50,000 rupees a month.
Besides which, for esteemed guests, such as you...
...I keep the doors of my guest-house always open!
Thank you very much.
- I'm your type of man, too. - I see.
That's right. I only accept a salary that pays for my efforts.
By the way, for guests like you I have...
...a little guest-house in there, too.
I've already been transferred nine times.
I'm prepared for the 10th time.
Now look, my boy.
I have more experience in years than your age.
Listen to me carefully and try to understand it.
Release all the trucks that you've confiscated.
That would be in your own interests.
And what if I don't?
Think of your wife and kids, inspector.
Because I didn't want the threats of crooks like you to affect me,
I haven't even got married.
What a pity! Aren't you married then?
You mean, you have no one to cry over your dead body?
Tiger. May the Lord bless him.
Here.
- Hi baby! - What can I bring for you, sir?
- Get me delicacies. - Yes.
How's it going, ma'am?
This is a nice wrist-watch. How much is it worth?
It costs 4,500 rupees.
I ask you for delicacies and you got me this?
You said it's nice! And flung it away!
I don't know what's wrong!
- Rupa! - Hi!
How about it?
Rupa!
What's up with you?
Please save me!
- Let me go! - Let her go.
How is she related to you?
I can't say that.
But she does seem to be your sister!
Move!
Get up, idiot.
That was a nice punch. Let me go now.
- No way! - No.
Did you say something?
- Did you? - No.
I didn't say anything either.
- Go outside and get betel leaf. - But...
Okay! I'll go and get it.
But you have the tea upstairs.
- That's where I'm headed! - Yes.
- Okay bye. - Yes.
Got you. Got you.
Got you.
Who is it? - You? - Constable! - Got you.
But why catch hold of me? Get him. He's the ruffian!
You're the worst.
And it's your arrest that will get me a promotion!
Oh yes? Take this!
- Hit me. - Hey, what are you doing?
Hit.
Oh my god! How did I hit a cop?
I'm in a mess.
Got him! I won't let go!
You can't escape my clutches.
- Got him! - You.
- Catch him! - Catch me if you can.
Get him.
Rupa!
(Birds chirping)
Oh my god! Trust the Americans to be so fast!
You kissed her at the airport the other day.
I wonder what you've done today,
that you've had to carry her!
You're home, my boy! You may set her down.
- She's in no state to be set down. - Naughty boy!
And what did you do that she can't be set down?
She has passed out.
Passed out?
- That's where he must have gone. - That side.
Okay. Look for him, I'll go home.
No way. You look for him!
- Who's that? - What?
Son-in-law!
Father-in-law!
- My respects, sir! - Bless you, son!
But there's something I can't understand.
Why did you have to jump the gate?
It's a habit. Ever since I was a kid!
As a kid? But his father said he was a singer who...
- See. - They have a huge lawn.
Never take a load!
- I'll be confused? - Yes. - I've a headache.
- Let's go inside and talk about it. - Inside?
Instead of getting locked up, it's better to follow him.
Dear...
...this chap is feeling terribly shy to tell me what's happened.
You tell me now, what he did to you that you even passed out?
Mom! The thug!
- Am I a thug? - Not you!
- The one you bashed up! - Did I bash up someone?
There was this deadly ruffian who caught hold of me.
And this gentleman beat him up...
...and made mincemeat of him!
You must be exhausted after the fight, son.
How about some chilled-beer and crisps, then?
No, thank you. I drink only milk.
Here you are. Have a glass of milk.
Pour the milk in a dairy, fatso!
- Why give it to me? - No.
But you must have the milk!
- Are you crazy? - Why?
What he says is right. Where's the glass?
Lousy idiot! - Give it. - Here you are.
But I just can't digest milk.
- Then what can you digest? - I always find my food!
- Like? - See.
(Sniff)
It's over there!
Brother-in-law.
Here I am!
- I think he's the wrong guy. - I'll smash your ugly face!
And I?
What a throw!
He can't be our guy!
He's only thrown the cork at you. I'll smash a bottle on your head!
- Here you are. - Thank you.
Great stuff!
(Cough)
Have you mixed something?
Sugar, apart from the water by the milkman.
I see. But why is it so strong?
I feel as if I had liquor.
- It's giving me a kick! - There you are!
You're bound be intoxicated, when Rupa serves...
...you a drink! Go ahead and have.
How about it?
- Rupa! - What's wrong, mom?
The milk really seems to have given him a great kick!
The way he winked at me.
- Mom. - Take him away. Go on! Hurry up!
Why did you hit her on her bottom, son-in-law?
She's not your wife, is she?
Not at all! She's the maid-servant of our house.
So, what's he jealous about?
- Are they going around? - Brother-in-law.
You're thinking of marrying your daughter to him and...
...he's flirting with the maid!
Look at him having a ball!
(Gasps) Get lost.
What are you doing? She's a maid-servant!
My daughter's up there, in the bedroom.
- Your daughter's in the bedroom. - Yes.
For me.
(Laughs)
Hi hero!
Oh heroine!
Your dad's a fantastic guy.
I must say! But he's not as good as I!
- Let's go! - What?
- Yes, let's go! - Brother-in-law.
Another word from you and I'll shove my foot in your mouth!
(Sighs)
Go dear!
"The building is tall and the lift's not working."
"How do I ever come?"
"My heart is so willing."
"The building's tall and the lift is not working."
"How do I ever come?"
"My heart is so willing."
"Come with the music and the band."
"I miss you oh so very much."
"My groom, come take my hand."
"Come with the music and the band."
"I miss you oh so very much."
"My groom, come take my hand. - But how?"
"The building is tall. And the lift is closed."
"How shall I come?"
"The door is closed."
"I'll come running for you."
"I'll even climb 100 stairs for you."
"You are my sweetheart, you have to come."
"You'll have to bear with my airs."
"A storm has risen, my life's in danger."
"Though I wish to come my heart's turned a betrayer."
"The building's tall and the lift is not working."
"How do I ever come?"
"My heart is so willing."
"Come with the music and the band."
"I miss you oh so very much."
"My groom, come take my hand."
"Come with the music and the band."
"I miss you oh so very much."
"My groom, come take my hand."
"The building is tall. And the lift is closed."
"How shall I come?"
"My heart doesn't listen."
"You go ahead, I'll follow you."
"Like a magnet you pull me."
"Where are you going with eyes shut tight?"
"You'll be run down by Michael's cycle in broad day light."
"You are far as much as you seem close."
"You wink at me. You're a girl so weird."
"Mumbai is shut. The train's not working."
"How shall I come?"
"My heart doesn't listen."
"The power too is out."
"The lights too fused out."
"How shall I come?"
"My heart doesn't listen. My heart doesn't listen."
"Come with the music and the band."
"'I miss you oh so very much."
"My groom, come take my hand."
"Come with the music and the band."
"I miss you oh so very much."
"My groom, come take my hand."
(Bike engine sound)
What do you mean by blocking my path?
Tiger has decided when you will die, my boy.
Only the ceremonial coconut needs to be broken!
What was it that Mr. Gandhi had said, uncle? - See no evil, he said.
- What else did he say? - Speak no evil.
There was something more he preached, uncle. - Hear no evil.
Heard that?
Neither will the people here see anything now...
...nor will they speak of anything.
And neither will they squeal.
Why did you scream like that?
- Have you seen something? - Yes, I did.
Did you hear the dead man scream?
Yes, I did.
Will you tell anyone of what you've heard and seen here?
I'll tell the court about it.
Really?
Brother.
What's happened?
Who was it? Who did this?
Brother.
That man, Tiger.
What?
Sir, ever since your father passed away,
you always feed thousands on his death-anniversary.
But it will not pacify your...
...father's soul unless you perform the last rites.
So why don't you perform the last rites today?
No, priest.
Till the time I don't kill my father's assassin...
...I will not perform the last rites!
You get down to beating up women now.
You call yourself Tiger and behave like a lousy fool!
Okay, get up idiot.
(Shouts) Run.
Wait!
Uncle!
What is it, son?
What had Mr. Gandhi preached?
See no evil, he said.
But it's not at all evil to see this fool getting beaten up.
So, you'd better watch!
What else had Mr. Gandhi preached, uncle?
Hear no evil, he said.
But there's nothing wrong with hearing his cries of agony.
So, I'd say you can enjoy his cries!
- Uncle. - He also said not to speak evil.
C'mon!
Wait. Don't move!
Aunt! Oh my sweet aunt!
Hi aunt!
(Birds Chirping)
Who's this young chap who openly goes about calling me aunt?
Don't you recognize me? I'm Tony!
The small kid.
Tony!
Where were you all these years?
I was in Singapore, the beautiful country.
Singapore? What profession were you into?
I was into many things, aunt.
Do you know, aunt...
...that the toilets in Singapore are famous for their cleanliness?
And who's responsible for that? For me.
Were you a sweeper in Singapore then? How disgusting!
Good God! The Indians are really filthy!
They spit anywhere they please!
But I always carry my broom, which is famous for hygiene!
By the way, aunt, where is my future wife?
Your future wife?
I mean, Rupa.
How could you ever imagine that I'd get Rupa married to you?
Aunt, you are mistaken.
Your husband had said get married while dying.
You idiot! He had told me to get married again!
When I haven't married again, how can you get married?
Besides, it's Prem I'll get Rupa married to.
Do they have no mirrors in Singapore? Do you know how you look?
Wants to marry me?
Rupa? Are you rejecting me, too? (Birds Chirping)
I'm very good at keeping things clean. (Birds Chirping)
Besides, you must remember I will kill the man you intend to marry!
Who's he anyway? - He's Michael Jackson, when he dances.
And as handsome as the super star.
And when it comes to stunts, he's no less.
"Your arrival and departure and the way you dwell in my heart."
"My heart now belongs to you."
"You saw me and kept seeing. I saw you and kept looking."
"My heart has become yours."
"Your arrival and departure and the way you dwell in my heart."
"My heart now belongs to you."
"You saw me and kept seeing. I saw you and kept looking."
"And my heart became yours."
"Your arrival and departure and the way you dwell in my heart."
"My heart has become yours."
"Do tell me when you fell in love with me?"
"That first time when I set my eyes on you."
"Why not from my face, can you take away your gaze?"
"No matter how much I see I yearn for you like crazy."
"You are my first sweetheart."
"How uneasy is this heart."
"I wait for you, dear."
"Dear."
"Your arrival and departure and the way you dwell in my heart."
"My heart has become yours."
"You saw me and kept seeing. I saw you and kept looking."
"My heart has become yours."
"Your arrival and departure and the way you dwell in my heart."
"My heart has become yours."
"Give me your wishes in writing."
"All that I've asked in the note is what you wish from me?"
"I wish to stay in your heart."
"If that is all, there's nothing more to say."
"You are my first sweetheart."
"How uneasy is this heart."
"I wait for you, o dear."
"Dear."
"Your arrival and departure and the way you dwell in my heart."
"My heart now belongs to you."
"You saw me and kept seeing. I saw you and kept looking."
"My heart now belongs to you."
"Your arrival and departure and the way you dwell in my heart."
"My heart now belongs to you."
Prem, Tony has arrived from Singapore.
- He's forcing me to marry him. - I see.
What?
Won't you do anything, if he forces me to marry him?
What can I do?
You'll have to fight him! Bash him up!
I haven't hurt a mosquito in my life.
How will I bash him up?
Come.
- Now that we're here,let's eat something. - Yes.
- Waiter! - Yes sir!
Yes sir!
I can't read English. Read it for me.
- Chicken delicacy. - Prem?
Chicken fry. Mutton fry, chicken rice, mutton rice...
Do you have fritters?
We do sir. - Hurry up and get us two plates - Prem?
- Right away sir. - Listen.
- Get me lemonade. - And half a cup of tea!
Yes sir!
What are you looking at me like that?
I can't do without you anymore.
- When will you marry me? - Marry you?
Let my sister get married first.
- After that. - What?
- Do you even have a sister? - Neelam?
She means the world to me!
- Really? - I've even found a suitor for her.
Once she gets married, we can have all the fun.
Here's the plate of fritters.
- We had asked for sandwiches. - Fritters?
What is this?
Here's Tony.
Hi. Hello, Tony!
Is this how they serve it?
Don't we pay for what we have?
Wait till I set him right. Stay here!
- Raja, where are you going? - So, you're the guy?
- Leave him alone! - But, what's wrong?
Because you are the obstacle between me and Rupa.
As long as you are alive, Rupa and I can never be married, get it?
- You want to hit me? - Yes!
- Do you want to kill me? - Of course!
- Will you really hit me? - Yes!
- Watch out. - What? Where?
- Toilet. - You!
You take me for an idiot, do you?
You were throwing fritters at us?
Get me another plate. Quick!
Where were you going?
Have you gone nuts?
You called me a nut?
I am sorry!
Have you just walked out of the asylum?
No!
I'm from Singapore!
But why did you push me?
I'll hit you.
That hurts, you hippo!
Hurts?
Sorry! - I am sorry! - I am sorry!
- Sorry! - Thank you!
Thank you sir!
- What man? - Yes.
(Screaming)
Sorry sir!
Did that hurt?
- I hope? - I am so sorry sir!
I know you're fond of fighting!
- But let him go! Let's go! - But why did he start the fight?
- Let's go! - Just a minute! One last kick!
- Idiot. - Sorry! (Foot steps)
Let's shake hands, Prem!
- You're fantastic! - What?
You packed him off to...
- ...Singapore without a passport! - But I've done nothing!
Now don't pretend!
Let's go!
Son, that girl has decided to testify against you in the court.
- If she makes it to the court. - Hold it, uncle!
That girl and her brother must not make it to the courts!
Give it a thought. Think of a way out, uncle!
Sister-in-law, we believe your sister. (Birds Chirping)
Give way! I want to get ready.
Move! The boy must be on his way. Let me get ready.
Tell me how I look?
You look cheap.
You guys are dressing up as if you're the ones getting married.
The suitor must have arrived.
Look after them while I go and get Neelam ready.
Go on! Hurry up!
- Okay! - And remember...
...to speak of good things about Neelam.
But, of course! She's my sister.
My sister is one in billions, really!
That's not all! When there's a queue at the ration shop...
...she pushes and jostles to make it to the top of the queue!
She brings the provisions in no time at all!
She must be given an award in the art of catching running buses!
Whether the bus stops or not, she manages to board it!
She returns home all alone, after a late-night movie!
Because nobody would dare mess with her! She's very strong! Very strong.
What a lucky man you are! What a girl you got!
- What was that? - What a fine girl you've got!
You've praised her so much. Call her.
Let's see her.
Here's the special person for the special occasion. Neelam!
Look at her and choose her.
He's ogling at her!
- People will say she's an amazing girl. - Pardon me?
Daughter-in-law.
- Daughter-in-law! - She's very pretty, really.
So now tell me something. There's no dowry involved, I hope?
No, there's nothing we want as dowry.
We'd be content with just 50 kilos of gold. - 50 kilos of gold?
My wife weighs at least 50 kilos, doesn't she?
I'd already began to calculate that for 50 kilos of gold...
...how many jewellery shops we'd have to break into! - What?
- We'd have to buy it, he means! - Buy!
We approve of your sister.
Neelam approves of your son, too. Isn't that right, Neelam?
Speak up! - Here's what we'll do. Let's set the wedding-date.
- Tell them! - What?
He's only saying that we must finalize
- the date of the wedding. - Yes.
That's okay, isn't it?
So, let's get cracking then. All right.
It's okay!
- Bless them! - Bride.
Rangeela, you too.
- God! There's a power failure! - Power failure?
What about my nuptial-night?
- Let the power be restored. - It won't.
The transistor blew up.
Transistor?
- Transformer! - Yes.
Never mind. Just send the bride inside quickly.
The groom seems to be in a tearing hurry!
Come along, darling. Let me embrace you!
Stop blowing in the bamboo-shoot so early in the morning.
Here.
Tiger hasn't come to your doorstep to beg for alms.
His favorite little dog is lying in your house whom he has come to see.
Tommy!
It's you, master?
Come over.
My master.
- Tommy! - Yes.
- Look at my feet, Tommy. - Dirty?
Let me clean them up!
- Tommy! - Yes, master?
Your wife, his sister, has robbed me of my peace of mind.
That's okay, sir. I'll rob his sister of her peace of mind then!
It's because of your wife that her brother humiliated me in public!
What are you going to do about that?
I'll humiliate his sister then!
Will you still send your sister to the court...
...and have her testify against me?
Who's he anyway?
His sister is now my wife. I'll talk to her right now!
Are you listening? Come outside for a moment.
Is that you, Sushila?
- Who's this girl? - She's...
- She's your sidekick's lady-love! - What nonsense?
Lost your composure, haven't you?
We got into the act, when they were about to take the vows.
We covered her face in a veil and sent her to the wedding altar.
And we blew the lights out, when they were to have their nuptials!
We sent this guy where he belonged!
He's made a mistake, hasn't he?
- Doesn't he deserve a slap? - Go ahead!
Our sister and brother-in-law are over there!
Master.
We got them married, even before this fool could wed.
Your game is up, Tiger. We'll now meet in the court.
(Background music)
Keeping in view the testimony and evidence at hand...
...this court has reached the conclusion that...
...Tiger, alias Ratanlal has murdered inspector Sharma.
This Court, therefore, under section 302 of the I.P.C awards...
...the accused a death sentence.
To be hanged till death!
- Sharma! - Hi.
- How are you, my friend? - How are you?
- It's so good to see you! - It's been ages, right?
How true! I am just fine.
The joy one experiences in returning to one's motherland...
...is always unique. - That's true.
- It's been ages since we last met. - Yes.
And how's your wife?
What do I say?
She's been a living corpse ever since that...
...incident that took place years ago.
We've made a vegetable out of her, feeding her medicines everyday.
Don't worry.
- The almighty takes care. She'll be alright. - Who's this old man?
He's pretending to be your father?
He's really my father.
Stop pretending now, okay?
And look at your perfectly trained mother.
She's putting up such a natural act! Too good!
Mala.
- Take her away to the bedroom, my dear. - Sure.
- Let's go. - Go.
- So, Malhotra? - Yes.
- We're not friends anymore. - Why?
- You want to fight with me? - Yes.
We're relatives now. You're the father of my son-in-law!
But that's great news! - Great news, my foot! I should be mourning!
Won't you expect dowry from me?
- Come on! I can't do that, Sharma! - Won't you? Really?
- But tell me something. - What?
- Has my son consented too? - Consented?
He's even sung a couple of love-songs!
He sings well, really. And here he is!
Do you love Mala, Prem?
Love? She isn't even worthy of being hated, dad!
- What? - Come on! I know you're a good actor.
Now give your consent.
Marry her? No thanks, dad!
I've had enough of your play-acting, okay?
Stop acting as an American-returned and tell them the truth!
But we have really come in from America, dear!
I see! Was it America, or was it Andheri?
Smart.
- Sharma? - Never pull them by the tie.
- No matter who it is! - Why?
Mr. Malhotra is Prem's father.
- They're really from America! - Yes.
My naive father! Have you been taken in by this fraud, too?
- Fraud? - Now wait a minute.
Yes. - This chap is a known criminal from the slums of Dharavi...
...and this chap is a crook from the same area!
Had you known the truth, you would not have agreed to the marriage.
That's why he's dragged these fake parents.
- Fake? - Will you wait another minute?
How long will I wait now? - Do you want me to present his sister,
if you don't believe me?
I don't think you're sane anymore.
- Now listen to me. - Believe me, dad! It's true!
If we hang around any longer, dad...
...we're going to lose our mind. - Right!
- What? - Sharma.
Your daughter has reached the last stages of insanity.
You must immediately rush her to a mental hospital!
But such a thing has never happened! Malhotra. - Listen.
Now listen. - Dad! - Brother-in-law.
Let me fix the American today!
It's going to be the last day of his life!
(Honking horn)
(Vehicle's passing sound) Had a son?
Take a look, my friend!
Someone's forgotten his bag.
It's because of guys like this that we survive!
Must be an idiot! Go and get it. Go on!
I've got the bag!
- But, who are you? - This is no time for jokes!
I've got the loot. Let's scoot!
I'll summon the police!
You've gone mad?
You asked me to grab the bag and I did.
- So, let's go! - Well, okay.
Keep the bag in the place you picked it from.
Back?
But I'll get mad, if you ask me to bring it back!
Go and keep it, he says! He's gone crazy!
Move aside!
Where's the bag?
Are you out of your mind?
Where's the bag, I say!
You asked me to steal the bag from the car, which I did!
And you say, keep it back there. And I did!
And now you want it back?
Why don't you admit you've chickened out? That you have no guts!
- Sure. Why don't you get it then? - Here goes. Just watch!
The idiot!
There's Raja! Let's hide.
(Indistinct)
Who are you? - Vidyarthi? - Teacher?
Thank god you're alive!
Oh my God! Tony!
Okay!
This is the right place! Let me relieve myself.
From where did you steal my looks?
You fought at the restaurant, right?
Yes, I'm Raja.
- But who are you? - Prem.
I'm Prem Malhotra. From America.
I see! So you're the one from America, are you?
Mala's father mistook me for you and welcomed...
...me as his son-in-law.
What's brewing between you and that guy from Singapore? - Nothing.
He's already attacked me twice!
I faced a bomb-attack today.
A bomb-attack!
Mr. Raja, he wants to kill me...
...because I'm in love with Rupa. And he wants to marry her.
Don't involve me in this, okay?
Go and tell him right now that we're two different guys!
If I were to tell him the truth...
- ...your wedding would be endangered. - How's that?
That's because Mr. Sharma is getting...
...Mala married to you because he thinks you're no one but me.
But if I tell him the truth, it will only...
Well, I agree you're right.
But we won't hide the truth from our girls. Okay?
Okay. I'll go and fetch Mala...
...and you bring Rupa.
But why will you fetch my girl?
Because the Singapore guy is shadowing my girl.
Well, all right. I'll go and bring your girl.
But stay away from my girl!
She has a habit of clinging.
- I'll leave? - Go.
- Can I go and get your girl? - Go on!
I won't, if you say so.
- Go on, or you'll get a slap! - Okay, I'll go.
Strange chap! He's a nut.
(Birds Chirping) Who is it?
Prem!
Rupa!
- Prem. - Rupa.
Prem.
- Rupa, my child! - Rupa...
Yes, mom?
Come here quick! Let me go!
Now, that's something.
And who are you?
- Prem! - Rupa!
- Prem. - Rupa.
You?
- Rupa. How are you, my raspberry? - Raspberry?
Why are you talking like this?
But that's how I talk, don't I? Come on.
Let's go to the garden!
Prem! You're fine, aren't you?
Yes aunt, very fine!
100 rupees caught fine. 1 month in central jail!
Why are you tensed?
Let's go for a walk. Come on!
Central jail!
My God!
No food from now.
No breakfast henceforth.
No food from now.
Listen.
Hello! Is Mala there?
He's asking for Mala.
What is it with Mala now?
To rush her to the mental hospital?
To the garden, actually.
He called her. - What? - By whom?
By that I meant...
His heart beckons, I suppose.
He's in love with her!
Love? But wait a moment.
He refused the match in front of his father the other day. - Yes!
You don't know my dad.
Had I told him then, that I'm in love...
...with Mala he'd have been furious.
Old thinking.
He's come up with a plausible explanation at last!
But you scared me.
- But let's celebrate. Come on! - What's this?
- It's liquor! - But I don't drink.
There you go again!
You knocked off a whole bottle, the other day. - I?
Now, brother-in-law. This chap seems to be a cheat.
Why do you think he's a cheat?
Could you call Miss Mala?
Have a sip.
- Please call her... - Let's celebrate.
- Mala! - Mala!
Why have you come?
To take you to the garden, Miss Mala.
Such formality?
What's all this nonsense?
He's a cheat. He's so formal.
It just doesn't seem right.
You love me, right?
Those in love will always love.
You'll marry me?
Those who love will also marry.
Oh my hero! Let's go!
I'm sure, he's a cheat! Positive! 100 per cent!
How can you be so sure?
I'll prove it to you! Just come along.
Let's go! - Where? - Let's go!
What have you brought me here for, Prem?
Let me light a cigarette first.
Cigarette! Do you smoke?
I smoke and also drink. So what?
- You're a liar! - Yes!
Move away, Rupa or there'll be trouble!
I'm already in trouble, for being in love with you.
I've brought you here, only because there should be no further trouble.
- Saw the film about the twins? - No.
You can see it today.
Fool.
The idiots are here.
What an idiot! He's carted the father along.
- Let's start! - Yes.
What?
You said it was something important. So, what is it?
Right. But let them come.
Who?
I mean...
- You're Raja, aren't you? - Yes, I'm Raja, of course.
It's a fraud.
Just wait, okay?
I know he's a cheat.
Your eyes are rotten, like your mind! Shut up!
You're suspicious.
I'm really Raja.
But my Raja never keeps this distance.
He holds my hand and then speaks!
I'll know that in a minute.
Whack her.
Yes!
You're Raja!
Raja, I love you!
- Lay off! - I'll bash you up!
Please, lay off!
(Background music)
Do you agree now, that this is no fraud?
I will not agree, till I die.
Till you die? I'll kill you.
"Sometimes Uh! Sometimes Hi!"
"Sometimes Hi! Sometimes Bye!"
"Sometimes comes! Sometimes goes!"
"Sometimes why so? Sometimes why?"
"Sometimes yes! Sometimes no!"
"There's something about my love."
"This brightness is short-lived."
"And then there's gloom again."
"This youth is ephemeral."
"This is something to think about."
"If you are born, love."
"Live your life somewhat and then be gone."
"If you're born, love."
"Live your life somewhat and then be gone."
"Pair of ear rings adorn the ears of my darling."
"Silver anklets tinkle in the feet of my darling."
"Silver anklet is worth a million."
"Have accumulated this treasure of beauty in eons."
"A teeny weeny heart throbs within my chest."
"Have completed sweet sixteen just last month."
"I'll target your heart with my eyes."
"And then you'll truly enjoy your life."
"Fill your heart with the colours of love."
"Live your life somewhat and then be gone."
"If you are born, love."
"Live your life somewhat and then be gone."
"You just put on an airs, you are arrogant."
"You're like a cool path in the sweltering month of June."
"She is so precious to me she's my sweetheart."
"You are the effect of my first love."
"You are sweet and bitter at times."
"We may be apart but our hearts are together."
"You are the first miracle of my first love."
"I'll tell everyone you are my love."
"Live your life to the fullest and make merry."
"Live your life somewhat and then be gone."
"If you are born, love."
"Live your life somewhat and then be gone."
(Birds Chirping) (Gasps) Raja!
(Birds Chirping)
(Gasps)
Where has he gone?
I'd sent you to fetch Mala, hadn't I?
Why did you get her father?
And her uncle too?
No. You're mistaken.
Why would I bring them along?
They came hidden in the boot of your car, fool.
Why did they sit there?
I'd have brought them seated, had they only told me.
- You are a nut. - What are you doing?
- Open the door. - Who's' that?
Who else? It's Mala. Open the door.
I can't open the door for her.
Go ahead and open it.
Open up! Quick! What are you up to?
Will you do it or do I box you?
Okay, I am opening.
Don't push me.
- Where were two voices coming from? - Raja and I.
- Raja and you? What? - I mean.
I'm Raja. This is how I talk, when I'm excited.
But why did you leave me behind and rush here?
The song-and-dance really wore me out.
I came here for a bath.
A bath? Great!
It's going to be fun! Just the two of us!
Let's bathe together!
- But we can't bathe together! - Why not?
Before marriage, it's a sin.
Come on now!
But I won't take off my pants!
Take off your trousers, while I go and change. - Okay.
- What are you looking at? - Brother-in-law.
There's a lot of hanky-panky in the bathroom!
Shameless creature! It must be my daughter and son-in-law.
Do you want to watch them? Get down.
Well now, my boy. Tell me.
Why have you stripped?
Your girl has forcibly stripped me and has asked me to bathe with her.
- I see! - May I bathe with her?
If she asks you jump in deep waters...
...will you jump? - Yes.
Just get lost, you bum! Making use of his face.
There's soap in my nose.
- Stay in the water! - Listen.
I could hear two voices again!
Must say, darling. You have amazing ears!
People are hard of hearing and you actually hear more!
But why haven't you stripped?
I'll strip, if you so wish, darling!
- Go and quickly change. - Go on!
What happened?
You were out just now. How did you take off your clothes?
I was dying to bathe with you, you know.
That's how. Quickly.
I don't know why but I'm getting confused.
What's wrong with you?
You were fine just now. Have you gone senile?
Here I am in one piece!
I can't see anything, thanks to the lather you have on you.
But you're seeing double-images.
Come to me.
- All right! - Get going, you idiot.
Or you'll get a whack from me! Go on.
We've bathed enough. Let's get out.
Where are you going?
It was great fun.
When you bathe after a month it's bound to be fun!
I'll go and change.
Bye.
You? How have you got here?
I walked.
I wiped your head just now!
How did you get lather on your head?
To got myself wiped again...
I applied some lather on my head and shoulder.
- I see! - Prem!
- Hi! - What are you doing here?
Prem? Who's Prem?
Raja? Who's that?
Who are you?
Rupa. Who are you?
- The name is Mala. - What are you doing with her?
- He was having a bath with me. - What?
You love me, but you bathe with her?
I'll bathe with you, too.
He's in love with me. Stop clinging to him.
That's not true! He loves me!
You bashed the jeep into me...
...and even slapped my bottom!
Didn't you meet me at the airport and kiss me publicly?
You conned my father...
...got into my house and got me to dance with you?
You got into a brawl for me...
...carried me home and sang a love-song with me, too!
What?
- You lousy cheat! Two timer! - Raja?
- What do you think? - Please save me!
Hello brother!
Hey girl!
What?
- No! - Don't faint!
Already fainted!
"The girl stole my heart and ran away."
- The thief! Catch him! - My purse.
You've stolen the wagon and I've pinched this bag!
You stole again?
Cut the comedy, okay?
- There he is. - Raja.
- Save me now. - I see.
You're looking for the bag-lifter, right? He's in. Here.
- Come out. - Leave me.
Don't hit me please!
It really hurts!
Just hand him over to the police.
Hey, relax. What's wrong with you, Raja?
Come... I won't spare you. I'll get even with you, you fool!
(Growling)
Is he scared or is he scaring us?
(Laugh)
I don't need to scare you!
You're already scared stiff!
Shut up! Just tell me where your boss, Raja, is!
You can't make him tell you that, even if you're born again!
He's right.
Your sidekick is really wiser than you are!
He's called you my sidekick!
I've seen it in the movies that during a fracture... - Torture!
During a torture, they have the big light switched on!
And, no sooner is the light is switched on...
...than the culprit confesses. Light.
Lights!
I know nothing! I swear. Train it on the convict! - Keep it down.
Is it okay?
Tell me now where is Raja?
He's not scared.
(Sighs)
- Move the light. - Do it yourself.
Who'll hit him, if I move it?
He'll bash you up! Just move the light!
I'll deal with you later.
- Let go. - Leave it alone!
(Sighs)
What was that?
(Telephone ringing) - Special effect! - Then why didn't you tell me?
Wanted to hurt you.
Sir, there's a call for you.
(Laugh)
- Fool. - What?
Fool.
- Fool, right? - You.
Why do you keep calling me up, wife?
I'll get all the cosmetics.
Is that a police-station or a cosmetics-store?
Who are you?
Don't you know how to talk to the commissioner?
Sir. I'm sorry.
Couldn't get your voice.
No problem, my boy.
You've achieved a lot, by arresting Raja's assistant!
Thank you sir!
- The police department is proud of you! - Thank you sir!
- I'm very happy with you, too. - Thank you sir!
Set Rangeela free immediately.
Set him free? Why is that, sir?
A wise inspector like you...
...shouldn't ask such a question.
When you set him free...
...he'll go straight to his master.
With you hot on his heels you can arrest Raja, too!
You will be made S.P, from the D.S.P that you are!
Brilliant idea, sir! But I've been made the DSP, haven't I?
Am I now empowered to suspend a constable, sir?
Sure! You have all the power now, buddy!
Let Rangeela go.
Yes sir! I'll set him free right now.
Thank you sir!
- Guru! - What is it?
Let Rangeela go!
Go on. I'm going to follow you! And I'll arrest Raja, too!
- Are you sure? - Absolutely!
- That's great. - He asks me if I'm sure!
- What foolishness is that? - Shut up!
The commissioner had called. I'm promoted!
He asked me to let the guy off.
- The commissioner? - Yes.
He's in Delhi for a conference.
Whose call was it then?
It was Raja. He called you from outside.
Arrest him!
No way. You do it.
- Please get him or he'll escape! - You go.
Welcome!
You Americans could teach people a lesson or two in punctuality!
Amazing punctuality!
You've driven here, at the stroke of seven!
Go and get ready. The minister will be here shortly.
- The minister is here! Go ahead. - Okay.
I'll go and welcome him.
- It's good that I've found you! - I am sorry!
Listen!
Good thing I found you people.
It's good that we've found you!
That Singapore guy wants to kill me.
He wants to kill you?
Hands up!
I've got him at last!
Looks like a wedding. Let's have some free-food!
What are you doing here? And this dress is so typical of our culture.
Nothing nasty about my clothes, okay?
The super star gets is stitched from the same tailor.
That's great! But it's time for the show. Take him inside.
- This way, please. - Leave me alone!
God! The idiot's photo?
Let's go.
- Let's go. - Protect my honour, lord!
"Set me on fire and killed me."
"My heart is wounded."
"Heard you got many lovers."
"You are surrounded by dozens."
"Make me your moon."
"Brighten up your lucky star."
"Just once is not enough for me. Turn around and see me once more."
"Want to come for a late show?"
"What are you thinking?"
"Let's beat it from here."
"Want to come for a late show?" - "Want to come?"
"Got two tickets for the late night show."
"Shall I open my purse?"
"I'll stick to you."
"I'll hire a cab and take you."
"Don't think I'm a nobody. I'm loaded."
"I'll feed you a lot."
"We'll have hot snacks."
"You are my soft drink and I'm yours."
"During the interval we'll enjoy a chilled mango drink."
"Hope the heat doesn't rise up too soon."
"Just once is not enough for me. Turn around and see me once more."
"Want to come for a late show?"
"Want to come..."
"Seeing you dancing to the melody."
"I'll whistle everyday."
"Been thinking for many days."
"How about I show you a movie."
"Friday night is good."
"We'll watch a new movie."
"No need to bother about the heat."
"Theatre's air-conditioned."
"The movie is way too good. The movie's good."
"The star cast is superb."
"Two tickets for the back rows."
"We'll love each other on sly."
"Just once is not enough for me. Turn around and see me once more."
"Want to come for a late show?"
"What are you thinking of? Let's run away from here?"
"Want to come for a late show?"
"You killed me with your eyes."
"My heart is wounded."
"Want to come for a late show?"
"Heard you got many lovers."
"You are surrounded by dozens."
"Want to come for a late show?"
"Make me you moon."
"Brighten up your lucky star."
"Want to come for a late show?"
(Screaming)
Yes, show of the late hour. (Cheering)
Why is commissioner here?
To arrest me for catching Raja, I suppose!
He's here to give me a promotion for arresting Raja! - Attention!
Which one of you has arrested Mr. Prem?
That's not Prem, sir. He's Raja!
The notorious criminal of Dharavi!
I had a tough time arresting him, sir!
You must promote me and make me the S.P.
I've come to give you demotion.
That's wrong English, sir.
- It's promotion, actually! - Shut up!
Set him free, constable.
Please wait, sir. That's not Prem. He's Raja.
He's not Raja. He's Prem, sir. The famous singer.
And this chap has dared to arrest such a famous personality!
- See. - He's lying, sir.
He's lying. And you're speaking the truth, I suppose?
Of course sir!
Which is why I'll promote him and give you a demotion instead!
No sir. How can you say that?
Thank you sir. I'll bring him here right now!
I beg of you, sir. Please don't do this to me!
(Lockup unlocking)
- Can I come in sir? - Yes, come in!
Constable Vidyarthi reporting sir.
Where were you earlier?
Shaitan Chowki, sir.
And you had such a poor record that...
...they demoted you from an inspector to a constable!
I've always had an impeccable record, sir.
But it's because of that lousy constable...
...who tarnished my unblemished reputation!
But I'll not spare him.
So what if I'm not wearing the inspector's uniform anymore.
But I'll teach him such a lesson that...
...he won't even be a constable anymore.
- You? - Mind your language!
But, you were always formal with me.
That's only because you never did deserve any better!
You've tortured me, haven't you?
I'll make you account for every atrocity you've committed!
You will not serve the government but be my personal servant now!
No!
- You will get milk for my house! - No!
- Drop my children at school! - No!
- You will get my lunch everyday. - No!
Not only will you help my wife with her cooking every evening...
...but wash our clothes too.
You will bring my children back from school!
It's time for me to take the rounds of the prison.
Go and get my lunch.
- No. - Shut up!
- Ok. - Go on.
Get back.
(Background music)
Why isn't he getting up?
Make him stand.
Oh, yes. I get it now. He's angry with me.
Well, all right. I'll call you sir.
I'll do as you say!
I'll drop your kids at school and fetch them back, too.
I'll serve you well. Get up.
What's wrong? If he doesn't get up...
...who will I fight with?
Who will argue with me?
Okay! I won't even talk about a promotion...
...but who will help me improve my English?
Calm down, Vidyarthi.
Courage?
But you were my courage.
But you've deserted me now leaving me all alone!
You have always kept me company.
What right do you have to desert me like this?
Guru, Guru.
(Crying)
Watch out! Everything will be all right!
I think you're going to have twins, too!
Send Raja over to the hospital.
- All right. - Go.
(Van engine sound)
- Who's in the house? - There's no one.
They're all in the hospital.
How's Neelam, doctor?
- Are you Raja? - Yes.
She has to be operated. Get these medicines quickly. - Okay.
Move.
- Wait here, while I go and meet the doctor. - Okay.
(Gun fire)
(Police siren) (Gun fire)
Malhotra!
Prem.
Thank God! You arrived just in time.
- Brother! - Shut up!
Help me, brother.
If my sister gets harmed in any way...
...I'll kill you, Tiger.
If you want to save your sister...
...just bring Malhotra to us, whom you saved at the hospital.
We'll have your sister treated well...
...and return her to you, with the baby!
No way! There's no way I will do that!
Don't be silly, Raja.
This chap whom you want to protect and...
...risk your sister's life, isn't related to you, right?
There's no time to waste!
Make up your mind, Raja!
If your sister is not operated on, in an hour...
...it'll be impossible to save her!
(Screaming)
Brother!
Malhotra!
Where's Malhotra?
(Background music)
Are you deaf?
I'm asking you where's Malhotra?
Why aren't you telling me?
Where's Malhotra?
Why aren't you speaking?
Have you returned then?
Geeta.
- You. - Listen.
- This is our son. - That's right. This is our son, Prem.
Cut the act with the old lady and just come with me!
What are you saying?
I'm not Prem, okay? I'm Raja!
- What sort of a joke is this? - Leave him alone, son.
I'm nobody's son, okay? Just get lost!
Mother!
That's my father.
I don't care how he's related to you, idiot.
I must take him to Tiger.
- Don't do that, Raja. - Don't stop him.
Perhaps he doesn't know that he's taking not only your dad...
...but his own too.
Let's not have a father-son drama now, okay?
It's only a co-incidence that we look alike.
- Now come. - Son.
This is the truth.
You're twins.
For 25 years after losing you, your mother was...
...nothing but a living corpse!
Tell me.
No medicine has ever worked on your...
...mother in all these years! But today.
But a mere touch from you has revived a corpse! How?
Because, the blood that flows in your veins...
...is your mother's blood.
What's wrong?
Tiger has kidnapped Neelam.
He promises to return her...
- ...when I hand you to him. - Hand me over to him then.
Raja is here with Malhotra.
What do you want?
Revenge!
Revenge?
Revenge for what?
Ask my dad!
Take a good look! Those are the last remains of my father!
I've preserved them with great care for the last 25 years!
Do you know why?
Only to kill you before setting them afloat.
Now look! I've brought him here, as you wished.
Now you must keep your promise and let my sister go.
You made a mistake by trusting us, my boy!
A hero is one who keeps his promise.
And the villain is known by the promises he breaks!
Daddy!
Which makes them the father, the son and the daughter!
They're all here, uncle!
No.
We'll tie them up in knots, dad!
Get them!
Everything will be okay, my child.
- What's up? - They've given me a thrashing!
But the villain always gets beaten up by the hero!
It's my stammering-problem. Which explains the pauses!
What are you staring at, idiot? We're twins!
- Hello brother? - Hello!
- How are you? - Fine.
Wait! Let me give him a few good punches! Enjoy.
Flautist. Play your flute!
Hope your flute breaks! May you rot in hell!
Why are you walking towards me?
You can fight my brother Raja.
- Save me, Raja! - Don't be a coward, Prem!
- Clobber him! - I can't do it.
- Thrash him, I say! - I know my capacity. I can't do.
What's going on?
Why is it hurting him? My friend.
Get up!
What's going on.
You're okay, aren't you?
Do you get that now?
Just watch what your brother does?
I get it, too! Hurry up and hit me.
If you hit me, he'll hit him.
And that will save that brother of mine.
It's going to hurt me, all right. But do hit me!
It's fun hitting someone. What do I do now?
Watch out!
Raja, I am enjoying! What a catch!
More power!
Mind blowing.
Rangeela, I've beaten you up very badly.
- Are you hurt? - Not at all!
Can a true friend ever hurt?
Go and check out how your brother is.
Embrace me please!
The beating hurts!
Brother! (Rod sound)
You were wonderful, little fellow!
You're fine, aren't you? Watch me...
...blow the pipe at him now!
Catch him!
This is your death, Tiger.
You are under my breast!
That's wrong! You're supposed to say that he's under arrest.
- What was that? - Under arrest!
- Oh arrest! - Yes.
Would you like to be a cop?
It was my mother's dream that I become a cop. - What?
His mother always dreamt of this guy being a cop!
Her dream will now be fulfilled!
Thank you! I'll be a cop!
I'll catch all the thieves!
- I'll beat them up and be a good man. - Really?
- Will you beat me up, too? - How can I beat you up?
You're my brother, after all!
- Let's go. - Yes.
Hit.