A qmet evemng The mm: have ﬂown home
A courtyard bathed m hght A ﬁred footbaH game
An oh! song on the rams
A sHent dog
Sudderﬂy the dang of cymbms
And Goddess Durga appears m the sky
AH eyes Mow her
Manohar unde \s stunned‘ so are Karma and Wrﬂa
Her shadow moms overthe nmghbourhood
teahhg through the sky‘ as “She“ advances
But no one knew
on a roof m that same me
a man stood between We and death
They say your We ﬂashes m front of your eyes before you me
Butthe omy thmg he comd see
was the face ofthat gm
Many teach you how/to We
was no one teaches you how to forget that We
“My Sweet Bmdu “
Love \s not an easy thmg
Thxs much \ know
Von are a rwer ofﬂre H10 not know how/to swxm
Von do not know how to drown
h/Mss ChawAa
Von seem very opposed to Abmmanyu Roy‘: new:
Hxs stones are expmxtatwe
Hxs Worms dark and mtter
AH hrs characters are Mk2 rurrn rregatwe‘ angry and horny
And he portrays aH m: Women as hearﬂess WRChES
None of m: characters are reah \ teH you
Mr Roy?
Obwousw my characters arerﬂt rem
Monk! harrﬂy Want a scary ghost
vveanng a saree sxmng nextto me
Munch prefer a h/Mss mma
$eev
Thafs the promem
He never mscusses anythmg rea\
lust mdes behmd cheap humor
Sm take thxs
Love \s not an easy thmg
Thxs much \ know
Von are a rwer ofﬂre H10 not know how/to swxm
Von comd Wnte poetry or cnme thnHers Why horror stones?
When today‘: youth prefer We stones
Se? Boy meets gm they hve happﬂy ever after The End
Everybody Wntes We stones
Bankers‘ msurance agents‘ housewwes
Horror \s reaHy mterestmg as a genre
The more you scare peop\e‘ the more they Wahtto be scared
AH the best‘ sxr
“The mm Eﬂouse “
\ cannot teH you how many comes \t has ssh!‘
Ws broken the 10-year record ofthe Enghsh-Hmdx mchonary
- Can \ take a same? - Sure
Three years have gone by
when \s your next book?
Love \s not an easy thmg
Thxs much \ know
Von are a rwer ofﬂre H10 not know how/to swxm
Of course Wsthe paper‘: famt‘ Ab?“
How much mnger?
We need a book Von need a book
‘(our gohiﬂsh needs a book
Stop eatmg ketchup and bread aH day‘
Von smoke non-stop Von dorﬂt answer any caHs
Pm fed up of caHmg God answers but notyou
Quxet‘
The pubhsher paw! you two years ago
- His chasmg me - \ dorﬂt care
Hxs m: used to My my \ap Wxth m: goo New he googms aH day
TeH you What
- Gwe me a date - Gwe me space
Ws a We story
Wnew yum! make me proud
Dorﬂt do that‘
A normm We story‘ ﬁght? GW-meets-boy?
Gw-gxrW
Boy-meets-boyv
- (MH-meets-horse? - Are you mad?
Peome Wnte strange stuff Take Hack Beauty
Voxfre the hrrut
Von Worﬂt get any wieas
mam moors At mast open the Wmdow‘
Letthe axr m hieas WM ﬂoat mto the room
- Dorftyou have a copy? . W
Why dorﬂtyou use a mptop Mk2 normm Wnters?
Everythmg \s onhne Even raﬂway bookmgs
PH MU you
Ma‘ Pm busy CaH you back
Voxfre aways busy‘ Buma Thafs Why thxs has happened
Whafs happened?
Betteryou hear Mrom me than someone e\se
Vourfather and \ are gettmg dworced
- Voxfre crackmg up - Pm cracked?
Vourvoxce \s crackmg up PH caH you back
‘(our baba anrH
Baba \s on huh!
Saba‘ What‘: up?
- Cuttmg me out ofyourw/HW - Wire gettmg dworced
Buma?
Have you heard? Buma \s corrung to Kmkata
ReaHyv
His corrung?
When do We see rum?
My son \s corrung home The best mazes‘ mease
Hope he“ stay mg?
Bum‘: corrung? Wow‘
Lemon tea for everyone‘
Nephew mndmg
How are you?
Who \s he?
Come msxde PH teH you
\s he here?
Mmd your backs‘
Surpnse‘
Ma...
Nephew‘ hsten to me
- Von Wnte so WeH - Come here
- Wire ﬁrst m hne - Let me go
Gwe me a good hug
What happened to that gm?
Left hm ﬁght?
Voxfre so thm Eat‘
Nephew‘ hear me out
Vows Wntten a ternﬂc book
Keep on scarmg us
How about some Wh\SkEy7 Neat?
Thafs Vodka
Same mfference Do you remember me?
- Bhooby aunty - Bhooby aunty?
Bhooby aunty from Sak Lake
Bhooby aunty How comd \ forget?
Naughw‘
Why are you so stressed?
What \s aH m?
Rwas her wiea
Rwas my ma?
Von aways say \ never gwe you any credxt
- Mearung? - The dworce yarn
How comd you magma Pr! ask your motherfor anythmg
\et amne a dworce
W comrrutted smcxde at my age‘ Wham/mm! peome say?
Baba‘you
Von haverﬂt come home forages
Unbehevatﬂe‘ Ma Mavetoﬂrush my book and
Von make me come aH the Way to drmk Vodka Wxth Aunt Bhooby
We were rrussmg you
No more surpnses‘ \ hope?
Next Wednesday w; yourfathefs bvthday
Nowthatyoxfre here
\ thought Wed have a smaH party for se\ected guests
Orﬂy dose famHy and fnends Speak up‘
Thafs good Quxet new‘
- Comdrﬂtyou teH me on the phone? - Wonk! you have some?
Come Come Thefamﬂy photo
Von carﬂt manage anythmg Von prefervodka to your son
- \t hams me actmg - Dorﬂt over do \t
\can‘t overact as naturaHy as you
What happens when he hhds out aboutyour other man?
Why shouhirﬂt W
HFSNSIWESUHQ m: We
because ofthat gm
My boy‘ Devdas‘ How are you? Hrussed thatface
Gwe me a hug‘
Phase have some
Come Wxth me
Hurry HP‘
My daughter \s an aw! reader
Rabmdranath Tagore \s herfavourxte
Then San/apt Ray Then “EdW Bwton
Von come a dose fourth
Hove Das Cabm
Whata concept Gnppmg‘
Read us somethmg
Wow
Wymfre feehng shy‘ gwe Mo ma‘ PH read
Gwe Mo me
\ mu a mt of theatre m coHege
“M aya‘s body was new Wrapped around Raw “
“Nxce trousers“ she says
“She puts her hand mto m: pocket
“He attacks her Mk2 a hungry Bengah busmessman
“ attacks a mate of hot samosas
“ after a hard day atwork
“As Maya starts moarung
_ was “ - No
Thafs enough
Enough
Surnames‘ w; about pubhsher demands
AH nght We better be gomg
Lefs go
Das Cabm? Gnppmg‘
Saba‘ no ghost came?
N0‘ someone ass mu
Baba
Shﬁs sweet
Ma‘ are you senous?
OK Von teH me What mm! of gm you Want?
Her haw/as Mk2 the my mght
Her eyes were hke trafﬂc hgrrts Red Green Red Green
Herfragrance ran through my vems Mk2 woken \ava
Lookmg for somethmg?
Von Wuirﬂt know you were here
- \ am here - \ can see that
Mean! you comrrutted smcxde
So that Wasrﬂt you?
Obwousw not
She \sn‘t here
- Are you recordmg? - Ves
These are Bmdu and Abhﬂs top ten favounte songs
Notfavourxte songs But songs that are part of our hves
So thxs \s the soundtrack to the hves ofAbhx and Bmdu
Dorﬂt go away‘ dorﬂt have me new
my heart hasrﬂt had Rs ﬂH ofyou
Some songs become part ofyour We
Wrapped m thevtunes are stones‘ mg and smaH
Many memones
Bmdu and \ had ﬂHed a cassette Wxth our memones
Our rruxed tape
Our4x2 5“ My secret
A tape Med Wxth Lata‘ Kxshore‘ Asha‘ Rain RD‘ Bappx-da
And Bmdu
Dorﬂt go away‘ dorﬂt have me new
my heart hasrﬂt had Rs ﬂH ofyou
“My Sweet Bmdu “
m one Word - she was “trauma “
She was unusuah a Mme crazy
Forever crrarrgrrrg her rrurrd
She was marﬂy m We Wxth We
but she Wed herseW a Mme more
At age E
she mayed a bee m a schom may
She adored her costume so much‘ she kept \t on for a Week
A Week mar
she threw \t out Mk2 an oh! toy
Neverwore \t agam
Wham/M you be when you grow up?
Her answer changed every day
A Pnme Mvuster‘ a WiShEf-WUFHEH‘ a nurse
Then one day she saw/the Mm “Guxdﬁ on TV
She thought Waheeda was svxgmg herseW
so every smgervvas as beautm as Waheeda
Was Wvaheedds magxc or Lata Mangeshkar‘:
she had to be a smger
PH have an army offans Waxt and see‘
She adored her mother
She taught her that We was Mk2 memng me-cream
Game \t up or M get Wasted
She was scared of herfather
Herfather‘ the Malor‘ stumtﬂed home drunk every mght
W he was m a bad mood‘ he‘d mck Bmdu m the bathroom
Bum/ho comd he her down?
She had WhEﬂS under herfeet
She never setﬂed for a mace or a thmg
one UbjECl or even one person
She Mt everythmg hiW-Wiy AfHm A book A hobby
Before she turned 25
she broke two engagements
- Let me m: you - Phase go for \t
Be senous‘
God had gwen me so many mgns
But \ was too obsessed by Bmdu to ever notxce
Bmdu was Mk2 that memdy
thatyou hear once
and carﬂt get out ofyour head
1953
Thatyear KapH Dev Won the Work! Cup at Lords
Nshore-da sang “Taakx o taakx “
And We warned about thunderstorms m our geography mass
My Mme thunderstorm came qmeﬂy
on a bormg Tuesday m an oh! green Ambassador car
To Wetome our new nmghbouri Ma made mmce-meat samosas
uke aH great mdxan We stones‘ mme too started
Wxth samosas and green chutney
There she was‘ swung on those trunks m the am:
F\erce\y guardmg the secrets they contamed
She had her headphones on‘ mokmg at me Wxth suspxcxon
That mow
Oh God‘ that mu
FmaHy she saw!
usten to thxs Thxs WM change your We
Thxs WM change my We? What mu she mean?
The song? The headphones? Or she herseW
Even today \ fee\ she had eyes omy forthe green chutney
We Wont be awe to Watch the show?
Thxs TV has become a paw
Cncket and Mm songs aways brought mma dosertogether
Every Wednesday evenxng‘ \ nad to batﬂe Wxtn tne antenna
- \s \t on? - Ves Dorﬂt move
Before the 4 1U secs of “Aaxye Meherbaan“ were over
Madhubma had Ashok Kumar svvoorung over her
And \ had found my bestfnend
Come to ma‘ my mm! mend
Take a seat‘ sweetheart
\ mwte you
to take the test of We
Letthe song ﬂmsh
Ws my name Bmdu
What mm! of name ts that?
Bmdu Shankarnaraynan Mhat a name for a rock star?
- Wow‘ Are you reaHy stnppmg? - Eyes on the road
Do you know Why my father named me “Bmdu”
- Von mm \ care? - Go on‘ guess
After m: favounte actress‘ Saxra Banu
“My sweet Bmdu “
Who names thew omy daughter
after a comm character m a 70s Mm?
Why mm he name me “Sara”
Such an attractwe name
- My pet name \s Buma - Eyes on the road‘ Buma
\t sounds Mk2 a Bengah versxon of “Bubtﬂe Wrap“
- \ dorﬂt even have my own song - Buma reaHy stmks
Butyour parents caHed you Abmmanyu too
Pm stuck Wxth thxs one name
AH my We \ WM stay a Bmdu
Uncooh unmarned Forhfe
DonW/orry MAM marry you
Butyou need to mprove yourﬂgure ﬁrst
Von unﬁt BengaW
vwm a name Mk2 Ema‘ dreammg about hot gws?
50W
0k Buma \s a great name PH marry you
Are you sure?
BuH carﬂtwmk Pm Wearmg ma:
W511 30pm mrorrusedto gwe Rahm my car
So how are We gomg to the party?
Ws an emergency
‘Thaf mm! of emergency?
Where \s he?
- What are you domg? - Look away
Whafs up‘ bro?
Hm Rahm
How are you? Good? Very good
Thanks
- Have fun - Bye
\ need a cab
- Lefs go - Where?
Hurry up Mow/that car
Heft my keys behmd
Von Wantthem new?
WU take a second
Where are they? Where?
OWHmPmky
Gmwmgx
No keys here
Found them Thank God
FoHoW me
\can‘t behave you senowy mu that
RahuPs face turned bnght red
And What about h/Mss Pvxky Rastogx?
- Now/they“ know - We“ ﬁnd a taxx further on
Buma
Dorﬂt sum Bums Wrap
Come
- Why are you so heavy? - Know WhaH Mk2 aboutyou?
What?
\ am thmkmg
We the Way you scrunch up your nose when yowre angry
\a\so Mk2 those ohi-fashxoned sweaters you Wear m the summer
- PH drop you here - But‘ but Hove
Thatyowre a rem genﬂeman
Vow! never drop a heuﬂess gm on a com road
Never‘
Vow
The gm from Kmkata
A Bengah qawah
Let me 5mg‘
Let \t go to heH
the materm Work!
Let me drop by your home some day
Leave yourwmdow open
and \et me ﬂy away
Let me may
Mloy overcome me
O \ove\y gxrh \et me get dose to you
Vouryouth
"W youth
Worﬂt \et go of me
\ roam streets and ﬁnes
come to me‘ sweetheart
Hy to me m these petriﬁed ﬁnes
Come to me Letthe rumours spread
Everyone at home WM have a promem Wxth us
Let me
Myom get oursewes a bad name
What \s youth Worth?
W \t \sn‘tfuH ofwmked fun
We are buddxes who meet at rrudrught
Vouryouth
"W youth
Worﬂt \et go of me
Page seven
Dorﬂt
Who Wants page seven?
zzzzzzzzzzzzﬂﬂ bucks?
Page 3
Phase
Mustwe attach the questxon paper Wxth the answer sheet?
Pm done
Me and my crazy nmghbour
Our homes were nextto each other‘ So were our hves
Mk2 Gabbar and Sambha Munna and Cvcmt‘ Gurup and Show
Here No more rentmg your car No more emergencxes
- Come on - Voxfre nuts
She aways managed to make me do Wm! and crazy thmgs
Thxs ‘two-phone rmgs‘ gm WM trap mm one day
As mng as w; a gm
Wave to get some notes from Prakash
Where to?
PH be back
Buma‘
Just mu at mm
Two rmgs means an emergency Von know‘ ﬁght?
Everybody m North Kmkata knows
OK.
usten
Bmdu‘ Whatever xt \s‘ w; a no
Von know dorﬂt Mk2 dogs
Someone ran over m: mother
Thxs Mme guy was crymg on the road
Pa Worﬂt \et me keep mm
How can We abandon mm on the streets?
- Know Wham/e must caH rum? - Someone e\se‘s promem?
We“ caH mm Devdas
Can We keep Devdas?
What do \ teH Ma?
mstead of notes‘ Mame back Wxth a dog?
Not a dog Ws Devdas
No chance End of mscussxon
Theh came the mg day m the coHege cmehdar
The Xavxefs Annum footbaH match Smence vs Commerce
PH dam Wxth you mar
These games added new Words to my vocabxdary
Crushes Rebounds Boyfnend‘ gwfnend
good THEHIMHSITHEHU Ws comphcated Etc‘ etc
And \ mscovered Why goaMeepers hate centre-forwards
We mstthe match barﬂy
But Mek as though \ had mt somethmg more
Very heuﬂess‘ very heuﬂess
Fm score Ufa 2 Abmmanyu Roy U
Run‘ run‘
Who asked you to End the car?
Damn‘ He banged the car
Who \s the mot drwmg my car?
Dhruv‘
Rmeased the handbrake by rrustake
Centre-forward
His aveady scored
Ws Bmdu
cw m you“ getyour money
Von better
My sweet Bmdu
My mnocent Bmdu
Why make out oh the front seat? The back seat
has more room
Ws med and tested
mounm gwen you a crash course
‘(our hero \s gomg to pay forthe car
AbhW
One WUFIL Hmdx
One Word‘
Ternﬂc
‘Htamc?
Siijiﬂ Ohms Sasurm
- Swabhxmaan - Ws Na
Keep qmet
Ves Boss
Rangeem
QSQT
O Darhng‘ thxs \s mma
Jo Jeeta Worn wander
Apu TrHogy
- PH mtyou - She was domg WeH
Von
One Word? Hmdx Uﬂe
Nagm
S07
Canrﬂes Canrﬂes Canrﬂes
One second Prn mokxng for one
Stop w‘ 9W5
My memdy has mended Wxth your mght
Wave a mend who rents m: car for such emergencxes
Von Want w?
Whatlust happened
uke the Chnstmas hghts on Park Street
some strange newfeehngs were surﬁng msxde us
We were stxH nmghbours
but our paths were separatmg
Von guys are a mad mt
\ am trymg to Wnte
Von shoot Mk2 a mssy‘
The referee carﬂt hearyou Shout muder
Dorﬂt get angry‘ Buma
\ am not angry
They We you so much
Love \s overrated \ need peace
60mg back to M umbax?
Ws your baba‘: bvthday m three days
Pm not gomg anywhere PH come back Staymg m a mm
PH be back Mead Urns away from thxs madhouse Pm gomg nuts
VWH stay m a hoteW
Wham/M peome trunk? Voxfre m Kmkata‘ but not staymg at home
Do What \s nght The book \s more mportant
- Wham/M you eat? - Ws a hoteL Ma They“ have food
Why dorﬂtyou ever say somethmg?
What can \ say? His grown up new He“ do as he meases
Two eyes
and one story
Thxs was my mothefs favounte song
She used to smg \t at mght to put me to swap
waver mu anythmg for my mother
\ thought
Monk! someday
Pr! have enough Urns
Enough chances
Meverthought Pr! run out ofhme
Two eyes
and one story
A few scattered ﬁends a few drops of ram
One story
Afterthat rught‘ the hght never came on m the am:
Her father Wasrﬂt charged for drunk drwmg
But Bmdu neverforgave mm
Hxs face kept rerrundmg her ofthe acmdent
She ran away from home
To Austraha
To her aunt
uke most thmgs m her We
she Mt her stumes hiW-Wiy
Buma
My sweet Bmdu
Vourfather gave me your address
Hope thxs Mter reaches you on Urns
Vourfather \s a changed man
He has stopped drmkmg
Hiorﬂt getthe Urns to go to Kmkata‘ but Ma ﬂHs me m by phone
mm m Bangamre‘ studymg management at W18
Ws very mfferent out here
No ohe shares headphones They mscuss grades and stamhg smahes
wuss you Send me your number
mm pretty broke BuH can manage a mng mstance caH
Abmmanyu‘
HeHo‘ stranger Ves
Thxs \s me Ufa \s crazy Austraha \s crazy
Sendmg you a postcard‘ so \ dorﬂt have to Wnte a mt
Who mm you to do an MBA?
Von Wnte WeH Von shouhfve become a Wnter
Vow! be happxer and nap m the afternoons
Love and msses to Devdas \ rruss you too
m Austraha‘ they caH me Bmdamo‘
My name conﬁrms: to rum my We How are the trucks?
Ohms? Von mean gws?
There are two gws m our batch They have moustaches
Therﬁs a semor caHed Manlan
She Wears baggy trousers and keeps saymg s \
Everyone at W18 \s crazy about her
Before \ get mterested m boys‘ mease come back
My emaH u! muqqaddarkasxkandar 1977@hotma\\ com
Love Ab?“
PS What happened to front seat Dhruv?
Dhruv? Who?
Von know/the thmg about boys‘ some have great eyes‘ or great noses
some have great hps
A Shah Rukh Khah mamgue Butthe thought \s rruhe
HuAbhH
m Ca\ for a Week
My hearﬂess father has found a smtame boy for me
What do you say? Show \ get warned?
Voxfre gettmg warned? When? Where?
Congratxﬂatxons my We‘
Wonk! have Wed to come But w; macementweek
Devdas must be svxgmg a sad song foryou
His heartbroken
Ws Huh‘
My sweet Bmdu
Ma saw! you ran away from your engagement
Smw ﬂap
Ma a\so saw! how much money yourfather mt
Takmg musxc senousw? Amazmg news
Pm movmg to Mumbax‘ Anmytxc Dwsxon at a bank
Wnte more often
HeHo‘ m Bonlour‘ \ am m Pans Wxth my hopmess band
Hiorﬂt get a Word ofwhat the boys say here
Maybe thafs Why \ ﬁnd them so hot
My sweet Bmdu Mops aH \s WeH Happy DWVEH
Happy mrthday‘ Ab?“ Love‘ B
My sweet Bmdu Mops aH \s good Wxth you
We started Workmg Mylob has taken Ma‘s mace
Never have: me amne for a mmute
Wave to Work rem hard And zero money
PH Wnte on Saturday
That Saturday \ mu notwnte to her
Nor on the Mow/mg Saturday
Days and years msappeared m a bhnk of an eye
Mas mt m the embrace of Mumbax‘ thxs crazy my
Can you ﬁx m, Amk-da?
Oh goodness ma‘ Ws Abmmanyu
Von vamshed after coHege
Days ofthe cassette are over
TheyWe dmosaurs new
What about some popxﬂar MP3s?
Nothmg can match the songs on thxs cassette
FuH emotxon?
What a song‘
RD Burman and Gxﬂzar
OP Nayyar and Asha
Nshore Kumar and RijESh Khanna
There are some combmatxons
thaw/ark so WeH together
Wonderfut on thexr own‘ but rruracutous together
Pure magxc‘
Keep thxs carefuHy
Combmatmns Mk2 these are rare
Goa Candohm Four years mar
As usuaL Wwhoutwarnmg
accomparued by a Burman Saab tune
she expmded mto my We once agam
Wet 50D rupees‘ yoxfre breakmg up Wxth Mamshree
Shut um
Where are Vmay and Mamshree?
Maybe atthe Cherrusfs
Cherrust? Von are gettmg Mcky torught‘ man
But afterthat‘ yowre gomg to break up Pmlust saymg
Huh! thxs
5mm Stop the bus‘
Stop the bus
Drwe fast
Bmdu‘
O prmcess of my dreams‘ when WM you come to ma?
The season of We \s here‘ when WM you come to ma?
Our hves WM pass us by. when WM you come to ma?
Von comrfve hopped onto that bus
Rwas so crowded We couhirﬂttmk
Pm seemg you Mk2 What afterfouryears?
Remember my 50D rupees And a NH tank
Mmd your own busmess PH ﬂH your tank
Where are you nowadays?
Nearyou
Mumbax‘
- What are you saymg? - Veah‘ w; been two months
Pm stxH trymg my Mck at svxgmg
And you must be researchmg somethmg bormg atyour bank
Research \s a useM thmg‘ sweetheart
Research says 82% of peome who randorrﬂy meet m Goa faH m We
\s that so?
usten
Hmowthatyour dream was to have a beach Weddmg m Goa
Lefs stop nght here and get warned
Ternﬂc wiea buH am engaged
SUM dorﬂt mse hope
We run away from two engagements before One veg‘ one non veg
Von must be consuiered a goddess by the catermg mdustry
Not runrung thxs Urns?
My famHy and fnends have mated bets
But not thxs Urns
HeaHy Mk2 mm
- What caste \s he? - How does \t matter‘ unde?
Caste‘ race‘ amour‘ rehgxon Mmd your own busmess
His a South mdxan Chnstxan Arm Matthew
- Star mgn? - Cancenan
- \ am Cancertoo - Voxfre mood cancer
Vows mt out‘ my boy
- Thank you forthe mks rule‘ unde - Von can rule \t new
Rwas crazy meetmg you Mk2 thxs
\ know
Look afteryourseW And come to my Weddmg Wynn can
Von too‘ unde
PH be m Mumbax Take my number CaH me
Gwe me a pen
Gws Mk2 Bmdu Shankarnaraynan are trauma
Von never know when they WM go to your head hke a TequHa shot
We gotta go Bye‘ unde
Fnends Warned me
mvmg a gm Mk2 her \s freefaHmg
No one knows Where you WM mm!
and m how many mace:
- Here‘: your pen - At mast hang onto that
God mess you‘
But no one had Warned me
despxte aH the suffermg m We
yowre ready to do \t agam
To gwe We another shot
Many teach you how/to We
was‘ no one teaches you how to forget that We
2005
Thatyearthe ﬂoods neaﬂy drowned Mumbax
Gxﬂzar Saab Wrote a song about A\shwarya‘s dark eyes
and Bmdu and \ Ended up m the same my
CaH \t We or Newtorﬂs Law of Grawty
Thmgs were on a common course
Pm starvmg‘
HeHo
Abhﬂ Where were you? Have been trymg to reach you
Ws an emergency Can you come to the bar?
"Now? “(WNW
Hurry‘ DonW/aste Urns
Abhﬂ
Are We checkmg out your competmon?
D\sco B2
MY tummy‘: growhng
Thaw/med scoundrm
Rwasrﬂt me
Two kebabs and two beers
Gwe me that
- His run off That rascm . who?
That South mdxan guy? Mr Matthew?
Thxs Urns he dumped you
50W
He caHed Pa And sent me a stupxd 8M8
HeaHy hked thxs one The mot dumped me
Why do these guys agree to marry you?
They shank! know yourtrack record Vows the runner
- But arerVH hot? - Sure
- \ smg WeW - True
What eke do you Want?
Sure‘ Pm a Mme msensxtwe
A Mme mpaxtent‘ msecure
Surnames Pm out of controh omy sometxmes
But everyone makes rrustakes
Correct Nobodys perfect
Von eatﬂrst
Gwfnend?
Von Wantto go‘ go
Everyone mamas So Why not \ may housewxfe too?
Bum/hen the day comes near
Ntartfeehng daustrophobm
Thxs one was a ternﬂc guy
S ‘Why mu he run? The damn Cancenan
We Watched Btg Boss together Theh she feH asteep
She mm even eat
- Somethmg came up - Of course‘
My sweet ‘(our sweet Bmdu
Thxs Worﬂt and WeH Von Worﬂt have ewher her or Bmdu
The msttxme you spoke to a gm mmra Gandhx was PM
- What do you know about gws? - Of course
PH make \t upto her Long drwe‘ foot massage
- Eng Boss‘ emsode no 27 - WhiW
Tomorrow mght PH be Watchmg Ep 27 Wxth her
Want a bet?
- Getthe cash from an ATM - Ws on‘
Take her away Where WM \ swap?
He doesrﬂt We you
Why? PH get warned Any promem?
Of course rentmg to a s\ng\e gm m Mumbax \s an offence
Duirﬂtyou know/that?
What mm! of estate agent are you‘ Sameer bhaW
Forget the ﬂat Fwd me a husband
0k Bye
-H\ -H\
- Von mstthe Juhu ﬂattoo? - Thafs nght
Ws notthe and ofthe Work!
stay Wxth your Mr M atthew for a few days more
Hiorﬂt know how/to swxm
W faH
Phone Boss \s caHmg
Hem sv Of course‘ sxr
My aunt ts feehng much better‘ str
Shﬁs even smmng a mt
PH see you atthe ofﬂce By three?
Four‘ sv Sure‘ sxr 0k‘ sxr
What a crazy my‘
Nhomd go back to Kmkata
W dwirﬂtwantto be a smger Monk! be gone by new
So when WM you be the next mdxan HM?
To heH Wxth that‘
FHm composers teH me my voxce needs “spew travung “
“Come home some Urns “
MourUme-pass gwfnend Wasrﬂt staymg Wxth you‘ \ Wonk!
Earherwe were nmghbours‘ now you“ sneak mto my home?
When pasta codes change‘ than fnends become Mk2 famHy
- Thought ofthe day‘ Thank you - Wow
Why nottry “dubbmg”
TM you make \t as a smger‘ try dubbmg
Never know
Good optxon‘ no?
Hm Sameer bhaW
Wave seen the face ofthe moon
Wave seen a sky NH of stars
BuH have seen no one qmte hke you
Husband? Or a ﬂat?
m your \ove\y eyes
thafs Where \ Wantto drown
No one can stop me from faHmg m We
My heart \s mm me
Von mst‘
Von have Won my heart
A reaps for aubergme “bharta “
Read \t m your own 5M2
Fvsttake the aubergme
and roast \t
Then forfwe mmutes
stxr \t
Then may Wxth Mar a mt
And than
roast \t agam
Opened-eyes \ saw you
yowre a beautm dream
Ram Saw/ant \s out ofthe house‘
Von are the sweetness
Nhng my heart
‘(our \ove\y name
So \ found a Way to bnbe We
and stumtﬂed from fnendshxp mto We
But ﬁrst \t was Urns for the ehrrunatmn round
Ws the ﬁrms
Pm mavmg you
Why?
Phase Let her go Ws the ﬁrms
HeaHy am mavmg
usten
Phase Let her go
Oh ygy
Haw/on‘
Von were dumped too
How some‘ Buma Roy?
\sn‘t \t strange?
We Went our separate Ways
Wed m mfferent cmes‘ had mfferent careers
Today WETE together agam
11 30pm 8mg on Mumbaﬁs Manna Drwe‘ WETE chﬂhng out
The omy thmg rrussmg \s our dog
Von‘ me and our dog Devdas
We the sound of \t
So you“ expmxt me on the rebound?
Unbehevatﬂe
Do you remember my house amt?
Of course \ remember
Whenever \ was very sad orvery happy
Monk! go and rude there
VWH aways be my am:
Phase start paymg the rent
Thxs song \s demcated to
Abmmanyu Roy and Bmdu Shankarnarayanan
And to aH those \one\y boys and gws m thxs mad my
Whose hearts have been broken
man remember
your We
Where arh W Where are you? Where have you gone?
Come to me new
‘Ws Mhe rught‘ oryour mack ﬂow/mg haxr
BeautxfuH
Stop your rrudrught poetry‘
Nobodys tawng to you Von fooH
“Or \s Mhe moonhght 7“
Gwe Javed Akhtar a break‘
Von know my Hmdx \s shaky
Ws not Hmdx anyway w; Urdu
‘Ws thxs the moon 7“ Somethmg‘ somethmg
What mu Mr Bachchan 5mg?
“Where have We reached
- WEWHQ suie by we?“ - Shut up‘
\mustteH hem/hat \ fem about her
She aveady knows
Everybody knows‘ even peome who dorﬂt know you‘ know
\mustteH her Hove her so much
VUHNSIWEHIIU have fun
Are you mad?
Ws true We We Wed her smce Mas a m: My ﬁrst crush
Ws omy attractxon Thafs 0k
How do you speH We?
Attractxon
Von threw my shoe
We“ get \t mar
Tomorrow morrung
gwe her some ﬂowers‘ and propose to her
From the Urns \ comdrﬂt speH ‘Wave? \et amne understand \t
Hover! her When that gm says yes‘ \ comd fem my heart burstmg
Hewound that moment and mayed \t agam and agam m my head
Magma Dvn hghtmg Beautm dresses
vwm wohns maymg Mk2 they do m romantxc Nms
Butthxs was my We story
0k‘ teH me
What‘: 3 Down
Arabxc preparatxon for gnHed meat Matters‘ one Word
Matters? Shawarma
“m the show/en“ m Gularatx
- Oh God‘ - Last one
5 Down‘ 7 Across
Enghsn pnrase to exmaxn an \rrat\ona\ fondness for someone
Wwhout any rhyme‘ reason or context
often used as a pretext to make out
Three Words starts Wxth ‘W “
Thafs the due?
- Check \t - ReaHW
\ We you?
Von too‘ Same here
Lofs get warned tomorrow
- Chmese CMSWE \h a church - Shut up‘
Lefs go for \t
One mmute
Abmmanyu Roy
Were you proposmg to ma?
Bmdu Shankarnaraynan
5 Down‘ 7 Across
\s that w?
Thxs \s a hfe-changmg moment
Peome Work hard at w‘ they man
HeHm \ Worked hard too
Research says 70% of remhonshxps stamng m fnendshxp
mstthe mngest
82% of bestfnends marry and We happﬂy after ever
Ahd 22% behave Shah Rukh Khah when he says
m Kuch Kuch Hota Hax thatfnendshxp \s We
Phase say somethmg
‘(our Mom mks hot m red
Why are We tawng about Mom?
Buma‘
MwBaba
See We broughtyour favounte bvyam
Phase come m Waxt‘
The room stmks of msect spray
Gwe me two mmutes
CareM
Wave had \t Phase go and dam Wxth them
Get up‘ you 9W5
Getwhafs-her-name up‘
Go (Jean the mess‘ mease
Get up‘ My Mk5 are here
What \s w?
(Jean that corner
PM up aH those homes
Go back to swap‘ moron
Who the heH are you?
Bmdu?
What are you domg these days?
Dubbmg
Are you Smgmg?
N0‘ aunty Pm domg vows-overs m TamH Nms
Ws very comfortatﬂe Gwes you maxvnum measure‘
Gmgmgo Grab Mow‘
Do they pay you?
Not much Butyou know Pa \s nah
He sends me money every month
Atonement For ktHtng my mother
Se‘ youwe been m touch Wxth Ab?“ aH these years?
- Thafs qmte sweet‘ Bmdu - Thafs very sweet
The room \s messy
They Work Wxth me atthe bank Credxt card department
Bro
Sxt
\ better go
Bye‘ unde
Aunb/
Credxt card Dept
PH be nght back
Hove teasmg your mother
Forget Ma What about us?
- What? - Gwe me your answer
Or eke mHhons of Bengah boys Mk2 me WUHHUFQWE you
They“ curse you
Justthose three Words that Pm dymg to hear
“Du ﬁght‘ Wm “
- Shut up‘ - 5 Down‘ 7 Across
PH MU you
Abmmanyu Buma Roy
\ We you
- Say wwthoutthe “Buma “ - Veah‘ nght
Tmy Mme drops of We
uke a sweet drmk
SwAy We grows and grows
A Mme nawe
A Mme naughty
Sofﬂy a hamt grows and grows
When We are face to face
What can \ do?
Must carﬂt behave \t
From dawn to dusk
\ seek you
\ cannot stop myseW
Thxs We \s mtoxmatmg
Our We \s mtoxmatmg
Thxs We \s mtoxmatmg
Our We \s mtoxmatmg
Now you see‘ WhaH do to you
- We got an wiea - No
- Lefs make a tape - No
usten‘ Lefs make a rruxed tape
The bestofourhves Our story tohi through Mm songs
The soundtrack of our hves
uke ourfavourxte songs?
Notnecessarﬂy Butthey must be hnked to our hves
There are so many beautm songs
Sad songs‘ rubbxsn songs Our songs
- uke our My secret? - Exacﬂy
- Justtape them back to back - Ten for ma‘ ten foryou
Sula B shank! have 5 mms wank at the and
We keep a space forthe \ast song
Hove the ma‘ Lefs do thxs
PH eatyou up
\ mek a Mme
\ shp a Mme
\stumb\e a Mme
and faH mto your arms
Nhde a Mme
\ shp a Mme
Surnames \ change my mmd for no reason
mstance between us from new
New sprmg become one Wxth my breath
We meet on every path
We exchange gmnces
Thxs We \s mtoxmatmg
Our We \s mtoxmatmg
Get out of here - Abhﬂ
Thxs mtoxmatxon may gwe me a hangover
Our We \s mtoxmatmg
Von are a dew‘
VWH go to heH
So you Mk2 thxs Mow?
Does he We Wxth you?
He wshes
Wham/mm! you say to Ma W she were ahve?
To your mother?
“Sorry “ \ guess
mm sorry \ comdrﬂt make her happy
mm sorry \ was drunk that mght
The car‘ \ mm even see Mum
Vthere was one thmg \ comd change m We
wwomd be to make her happy
My chm!
Pm sorry
Hey Banker‘
WW are you crymgv
The vahaht hero hhaHy persuaded the hero\he‘s crue\ father
And they aH hved happﬂy ever after
But nobody saw! thaws so much more beyond ‘happﬂy over after‘
usten sometxme‘ your heart says thmgs
Come spread yourwmgs
Ufa \s Wmspermg m your ears
Come spread yourwmgs
Open your arms Wwie
vwm your arms Wwie open
SwAy new‘ teach yourseW how/to We
Breathe free\y‘ breathe deemy
SwAy new‘ teach yourseW how/to smHe
Surnames ﬂoatwxth the douds
m the open sky
What are you scared of?
usten sometxme‘ your heart says thmgs
Carﬂtyou hearthe sky \s caHmg you
AH the ttungs you Wantto forget that cause paw
Let them ﬂy away too
usten sometxme‘ your heart says thmgs
Come spread yourwmgs
Open your arms Wwie
vwm your arms Wwie open
SwAy new‘ teach yourseW how/to We
Sorry‘ \ got \ate Come \et‘s go
Om Sham Om Two Uckets 1U 3U show
Not m the mood
Drmk up ‘(our mood WM change Come
Here
Come on‘
Whafs WFUHQ7
Do \ need your perrrussxon to go to the mo?
Whafs come overyou?
Can \ go ﬁrst? Ws an emergency
Thxs \s an emergency too‘
Are you nuts?
We carﬂt keep Om and Sham Wamng Wire gettmg \ate
Not everythmg \s aloke‘ Ab?“
0k TeH me What‘: happened?
Dorﬂtyou know?
Oh God‘ Not agam
Try and forget about your amum‘ mease
Abm you dorﬂt get \t
Just go Abm stop m
Therﬁs more to We than musxc
usten to me
Excuse me
Pm sorry
Bmdu‘ \ We you The rest doesrﬂt matter
Hove you‘ too‘ Ab?“
was a Whom hfetxme ahead of me
Nothmg excxtes me
HnyseW dorﬂt know What \ Want Thafs scary
- What are you domg? - 0k ‘Mme out
NowteH me
Where do you see yourseW m ﬁve years?
Fme PH go ﬁrst
Marned Devdas
2 bed ﬂat m Matunga
Two mds We“ take them for footbaH practxce every Saturday
Vourturn
New myseW somewhere‘ Ab?“
On TV‘ on amum covers
On a stage somewhere m Argentma‘ or BKC or Mussoorxe
Svxgmg m front of thousands
Hiorﬂt know about the rest
Bmdu‘ hsten‘
Jest‘ Vmay \et \t be
Saba‘ stop‘
Forget \t guys
Thxs WM change your We
My sweet Bmdu
My mnocent Bmdu
My Bmdu on my brow
My We boat \s m a Wh\r\poo\
hem \t reach the shore
Putyour arms around my neck
Mk2 a gaﬂand of ﬂowers
Lefs swmg on a We swmg
Hurry and come to me
and bnghten thxs dark We of mme
Bnghten my We
My Bmdu
So sweet
Congrats Ab?“
What a day‘ Thxs \s not how \t mayed out m my head
Never mmd
AH that choreography‘ sxx rhohths‘ ptahhthg
‘(our Dad‘ my Mom
Von shouhfve seen the rehearsm wdeos They were hHanous
Look atthevfaces
Baba \s smepmg Wxth m: mouth open
Bmdu
SUM mad‘ are you?
N0.
‘(our Mom made me Wear \t What does she have agamst ma?
Ws 20D years oh! \t bemnged to my great-grandmother
Smce \ was 12
Ma has been mokmg for someone who“ Wear \t
Hiorﬂt know‘ Ab?“
Fora WhHe \ thoughﬂ comd go mung Wxth your mans for us
PH smg
you“ do your 9 to Slob‘ W?“ be happy
But
But‘ What?
But
speak HP
\t doesrﬂt make me happy
Hiorﬂt know how/to exmam \t
No‘ my parents are here
your Dad \s here
Wham/as the pomt of aH m?
\ am sorry
Sorry for What?
Von comrfve mscussed \t Wxth me
How do you expect an honest answer
when there \s so much expectatxon
Stop thmkmg about What \ Want
Whatyour Dad Wants What my parents Want
We never mattered before Why trunk of us new?
The questxon \s What do you Want?
- Ws notthat svnme - Goddamrrut What do you Want?
\can‘t do m, Ab?“
Ws too much
\can‘t dam Wxth thxs
How can \ exmam w?
Thxs \s too heavy New suffocated
Bmdu Mtfor Bangamre
She needed some qmet Ume to mm
She caHed that mght
Wuirﬂt pmk up
For months she emaned‘ messaged and caHed
‘W am sorry TaM to me
“Everythmg happened so fast The Urns was Wrong
‘W am trymg to ﬁnd myseW mm reaHy sorry
“Worﬂtyou forgwe ma‘ Bubtﬂe Wrap?“ Etc‘ etc
\ remember every comma‘ every fuHstop
Hek every emotxon human behmd herwords
CaH \t anger‘ ego or somethmg e\se
Wuirﬂt answer her
Perhaps there was nothmg Mtto say
She stopped WHUHQ after 2B3 emaHs
Chapter dosed
Then one day \ deemed to move on
Qmt mylob
and Ended up m the Work! of Hmdx pxﬂp pubhshers
Mr Roy‘ yowre trymg too hard
Dorﬂt copy Gxﬂzar Ws beyond you
Dorﬂttry to be deep
WhaH hked
was the horror sectxon mthe rrudrﬂe Pathbreakmg‘
Bravo‘ Von had me
“The mm Shpper “ Bravo‘
Svwst change the Uﬂe from “Shppeﬂ to “Bmuse “
Add some heat
Sm thafs the answer to aH promems
L\fe‘s summon‘ sxr
The one Urns you dorﬂt have to ask
Whetheryoxfre dressed nght forthe occasxon Rght?
Justthxs tag hne
“Who \s behmd the mouse?“
G at w?
Nome Trusxsxt
Crack \t open‘ 5W
Enterthe dark suie
Come
to the dark suie
- Nme meetmg you - Thank you
17 December 2009
My ﬁrst book “The mm Bmuse“ was pubhshed
Many caHed congratxﬂatmg me
Comctdentatty that day tgot another caH
Heﬂo?
Abmmanyu Roy?
Bmdu Shankarnaraynan
Frorn an unknown number
At mastyou answered
Two years mar
FmaHy
112\ongd\stance caHs
Eght \oca\ caHs Twenty-three Mters
metyour mother m Kmkata Mme
\fe\tterr\b\e when you mm remy
But \ Mt Worse
when \ reahsed you were nght motto
\ Mt
How are you?
Pm good
Abm \ reaHy had to taM to you
Why?
Von see
Pm gettmg warned
Atthe and ofthe month m Bangamre
AbhW
Vesv
Nothmg
Wnow you Worﬂt come
but \ ﬁgured \ shank! do one thmg nght
Wnow Pm bemg semsh
But how comd \ marry Wwhouttewng you?
Pm happy WW“
0k Pm hangmg up
Wnowthatyou are new a strangerto me
but stxH
sometxmes thxs thought crosses my mmd
Carrom \s beyond you
MusH aways open the door?
M m‘
Buma?
The mm was too cosﬂy Wﬂrs for m\nera\ Water
Ves‘ We were a\so rrussmg you
Butyoxfre too \ate
We pohshed off aH the sweets
Come‘ may Carrom Wxth us
Move over‘ The champxon \s here
New starts the Carrom board horror show
Thank you
Looks Mk2 these WaHs rrught coHapse anytxme
Von must have Mnch Wxth us
Von sruftmg?
No!
Just takmg the furmture for a pmmc
They got bored swung at home
Pm ﬂnaHy seHmg the house
No strength to mu after \t any more
They“ soon bum! a rugh-nse here
PH stay Wxth Amta
Aunt/kruta?
Why not stay Wxth Bmdu?
We never understood you two
Nor have \ understood you two
Bmdu‘: mcyde
Von know got Mar her when she was 5 years oh!
Andthe dent \ crashed \t agamstthe \amp post
\gothurt She mm
One ofyou had to get hurt some day
Abhﬂ
Stopx
Abm Waxt‘
PH commam to your mother
My pants WM spht Stop there‘
Chat mar Get on Wxth the Work
Pack aH the furmture
Emctncxan‘
Wherﬁs that madman gone?
Where are you gomg‘ Buma?
Hi.
Whafs your name?
Pm very hungry
ShaH \ eatyourfmger?
Von have ﬁve
Phase
Justthe Mme one‘ w; yummy
. W - Kaanchx
Made fnends?
Gwe ustxme Hendto grow on peome
\ forgot Wham/as our emergency code?
Two‘ orthree rmgs?
Everythmg was an emergency to you
There was no other code
Pa mm me you were here
So ﬂnaHy Malorwm We Wxth you?
\ know
We“ soon be at each othefs throats
\ Wanted Kaanchx to see our oh! house
Kaanchx? uke m the song?
S07
ActuaHy shﬁs caHed Kanchan m the song
Know how mng \ have Waxted forms moment?
A revenge song ways
trembhng you say “Forgwe ma‘ master
‘W made a rrustake “
So you became a best-sewng Wnter after aW
Mhouhfve Waxted a mt mnger
- Have you read my books? - Are you nuts?
Carﬂt even read 4 pages of the “Bangamre Tvnes “
But
on the book cover \ read
“The VWd Washerwoman“ WM Wash you away
So how comd \ resxst?
- Wham/as the other one? - \ WorVtteH you
“Tncyde “ WU puncture your We
‘(new
Abm Where are you?
When are We cuttmg the cake?
Romtved Prakash‘ sxr
We come to coHect Abhﬂs manuscnpt
AbhW Who knows Where he \s
BuH have to teH you
your new: are super entertammg
No matterwhat Von had to become a Wnter
Horror \s easy
We been trymg to ﬂmsh a We story for 3 years
mm sure w; mfﬂcuk
What new \s there to say about We?
VWH ﬁnd a new angm for sure‘ Buma Roy
Wnow you that much
Von mustﬂnxsh \t
VWH have a hundred mta Mk2 Sachm
Made a century But mstthe match
Von adwsmg me new?
Von have never commeted anythmg m We
Von shank! see me as a Mom
Nurpnse myseW sometxmes
\ We \t
Buma‘ thxs \s the one thmg Pm not a msaster at
Waxt here
HeHo‘ heHo
Have you somethmg agamst my stavcase?
Ws such romantxc Weather
Look at mm gobtﬂe the cake
Abhﬂ The manuscnptwm get drenched And PH drown
Rmned my cake too
Just read
So many pages? \t must be pretty sent\menta\
Not anotherword Read \t
Takmg your revenge? Why not may the revenge song too?
Where mu you ﬁnd that?
Dorﬂt go away Dorﬂt have me new
my heart hasrﬂt had Rs ﬂH ofyou
Von have omyjust arrwed
As beautm as the Sprmg
Emmy the fragrant axr
Bmdu m one Word
My nmghbour‘ my bestfnend
Von and ma‘ musxc maymg m the background
Many teach you how/to We
was no one teaches you
how to forget that We
Bmdu
Vwthout her‘ \ comd never be commete
She was betterthan a haw-smoked mgarette
Betterthan hottea m the com ram
More heartbreakmg than the \ast 1U mmutes ofthe Mm “Anand “
Better than Zakxr Hussaxrﬂs tama
Sachm Tendmkafs straxght drwe
Hotter than M adhurx or Raveena dancmg m the ram
Geeta Butt‘: voxce
The Words of a sad Gxﬂzar song
Hover! Bmdu more than aH these thmgs
And \ Wanted her back
- Why are you out of breath? - \ was runrung
From Mumbax?
Take ofthose headphones‘
Abm \ know
m thxs moment
no song was maymg
nor sound m the background
No sMeen-pxece orchestra
Orﬂy Ab?“
and Bmdu
and thevfast beatmg hearts
The End
Happy endmgs seH better
Thxs \s your story‘ Ab?“
My versxon Wonk! be mfferent
ReaHyv
Wham/mm! be yourversxon?
What mfference does \t make? We thxs one better
At mast
you found your happy endmg
‘(our Mr Rght
\guess
Mr Rght mace‘ nghttxme
Does he mu Mk2 ma? Hot and handsome
ActuaHy‘ his reaHy handsome
Not Mk2 you at aH
Worﬂtwant anyone e\se to read \t
My mother‘ your husband
Thxs \s ours
Veah
usten
TeH me Wynn stxH Wantto run away Wxth me
PH carry you on my shudders
and Whoosh‘
PH be too heavy foryou new
mdrrutwe are notfnends
mdrrutwe are not Wars
But do notturn to mu at me
my heart cannot be trusted
mdrrutwe are notfnends
Wwe meet somewhere by chance
stop and shake my hand
W someone \s WEWHQ by your suie
than smHe at me from afar
But m that smHe
show not a trace offarruhanty
Do not \etyour eyes express
WhaH carﬂt deny
mdrrutwe are notfnends
Ufa keeps turmng from Sula A to Sula B
Surnames you Mk2 a song so much you fear MAN and
Surnames a song never have: your hps
Somettmes t‘: onty the tune that hngers
Those memones m the Mus ofthe pages
Mthem turn to dust
W my name comes to your hps
lust say M/as a rrustake
But even that rrustake shank! be one
thatyou nevertxre of
Today she \s Mrs Naxr
A mother‘ a daughter-m-mw
Butts ma‘ shﬁs stxH my Bmdu
She stxH comes mto my dark We and bnghtens \t
My Bmdu
My sweet Bmdu