1 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,419 [suspenseful music playing] 2 00:00:50,844 --> 00:00:52,721 It is time. 3 00:00:54,514 --> 00:01:00,520 They've reached the second crucial turning point in their destiny. 4 00:01:00,729 --> 00:01:05,191 Their message is about to reach millions. 5 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:09,154 But... we will change all that. 6 00:01:10,864 --> 00:01:13,950 When our mission is successful... 7 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,288 ...no longer will the world be dominated... 8 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:23,752 ...by the legacy of these two fools! 9 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:27,130 No longer will we hear this: [guitar noise] 10 00:01:27,881 --> 00:01:29,841 We will stop them now! 11 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,011 Brothers and sisters... 12 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:36,431 ...are we ready? 13 00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:37,724 [guns being cocked] 14 00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,519 [glass breaking] 15 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:57,220 [electricity crackling] [whooshing] 16 00:03:07,647 --> 00:03:11,442 - Greetings, my excellent pupils. - Station. 17 00:03:11,693 --> 00:03:15,864 Today we continue our study of the physics of acoustical reverberation. 18 00:03:16,156 --> 00:03:19,617 I'd like you to meet today's most non-bogus guest speakers. 19 00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:21,828 Say hello to an old friend, Thomas Edison. 20 00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:23,705 Hello there. 21 00:03:23,955 --> 00:03:26,082 And to help us on the musical side of things: 22 00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:28,209 Johann Sebastian Bach. 23 00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:34,465 And Sir James Martin of Faith No More... 24 00:03:35,175 --> 00:03:39,721 ...founder of the Faith No More Spiritual and Theological Center. 25 00:03:41,014 --> 00:03:45,310 - Station! - Station! 26 00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:48,479 And a special treat from the 23rd century: 27 00:03:48,771 --> 00:03:50,440 Miss Ria Paschelle. 28 00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:57,739 Miss Paschelle, as you all know, is the inventor of the... 29 00:03:57,989 --> 00:04:01,534 ...statiophonicoxygeneticamp- lifiagraphiphonideliverberator. 30 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,662 Kind of hard to imagine the world before we had them, isn't it? 31 00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:10,168 OK, remember, this Friday, Ben Franklin and Aretha Franklin will be here. 32 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:15,340 Saturday is the field trip to Babylonia. And very important: 33 00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:19,761 Do not do your homework without wearing headphones... 34 00:04:19,969 --> 00:04:22,931 Repeat... [explosions] 35 00:05:18,194 --> 00:05:21,114 De Nomolos. My old teacher. 36 00:05:21,656 --> 00:05:26,202 Rufus. My favorite pupil. 37 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,997 - I thought you were... - Dead? 38 00:05:29,664 --> 00:05:31,082 No. 39 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,918 Just in preparation. 40 00:05:36,212 --> 00:05:40,842 I worked within the system until I could stand it no longer. 41 00:05:41,092 --> 00:05:42,885 And soon... 42 00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:49,100 ...soon, the system will never have existed. 43 00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:52,979 - You won't get away with it. - Time will tell. 44 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,731 Time has told. 45 00:05:55,023 --> 00:06:00,778 I'll go back and change that, with the aid of my secret weapons! 46 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,618 How's it going, dudes? 47 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:31,059 Friends, friends, friends. These are automatons. 48 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:35,480 Replicas only. Furnished with my agenda. 49 00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:38,441 Now, what is your mission? 50 00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:43,780 - First, we totally kill Bill and Ted. - Yeah, then we take over their lives. 51 00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:46,282 Then we utterly destroy them. 52 00:06:46,491 --> 00:06:49,327 Then, at the Battle of the Bands, we give the speech they were gonna give 53 00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:51,371 except totally different. 54 00:06:51,746 --> 00:06:55,583 And thus a new future is born. A great future. 55 00:06:56,084 --> 00:06:58,211 Don't tell us, duder. You programmed us. 56 00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:01,130 - He's totally a robot! - So are you, dude! 57 00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:03,257 We're total metal heads! 58 00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,342 [guitar noodling] 59 00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:05,968 Do shut up. 60 00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:11,099 Now. 61 00:07:11,307 --> 00:07:11,891 [guitar noodling] 62 00:07:12,058 --> 00:07:14,352 - What is the fuel? - Fear! 63 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:17,230 - What is the engine? - Discipline! 64 00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,732 - What is the ideal? - Order! 65 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:22,110 And how do we achieve it? 66 00:07:31,369 --> 00:07:32,954 Death to Bill and Ted! 67 00:07:36,374 --> 00:07:38,960 Catch you later, evil dude. 68 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:43,923 [buttons pressing] 69 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:54,183 [electricity crackling] 70 00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,418 [rock music playing] 71 00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:24,005 I am Bill S. Preston... 72 00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:25,882 ...Esquire! 73 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:32,221 This is Ted "Theodore" Logan! 74 00:08:34,891 --> 00:08:37,101 On drums and keyboards... 75 00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:40,938 ...celebrating their fifth year in the 20th century... 76 00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:44,192 ...the beautiful princesses from medieval England. 77 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:47,153 Joanna and Elizabeth. 78 00:08:48,613 --> 00:08:49,822 And we are... 79 00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,284 ...Wyld Stallyns. 80 00:08:53,493 --> 00:08:55,244 [band noise] 81 00:08:56,662 --> 00:08:57,580 Guys! 82 00:08:57,788 --> 00:09:01,209 You keep telling me you're gonna be the greatest band in the world, but you stink. 83 00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:02,543 Yeah. 84 00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:04,629 We don't understand it either. 85 00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:07,089 I mean, you can't sing. 86 00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:11,969 - The girls can play. But you guys? - Girls mature faster than guys. 87 00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,680 Plus, they started in the 15th century. 88 00:09:15,014 --> 00:09:16,182 What do you mean? 89 00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:19,727 - They're from medieval England. - Ted, shut up. 90 00:09:20,228 --> 00:09:22,021 Medieval England, Iowa. 91 00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,357 Guys, the point is the Battle of the Bands is 92 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,692 the biggest event for new groups in the area. 93 00:09:26,943 --> 00:09:29,654 We're talking about a $25,000 first prize... 94 00:09:29,904 --> 00:09:32,198 ...a two-year record deal and a chance to be seen by 95 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:34,075 the most important people in the business. 96 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:37,245 I mean, we've even got live coverage on Channel 12. 97 00:09:37,453 --> 00:09:40,373 Now, if you were me, would you put you guys on? 98 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:41,749 No way. 99 00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:46,796 However, since you guys do work for Pretzels 'N' Cheese, I'll give you a shot. 100 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,631 Excellent! 101 00:09:49,257 --> 00:09:50,508 [guitar noodling] 102 00:09:50,716 --> 00:09:56,055 But last. Midnight. Probably by that time, everyone will be gone home. 103 00:09:56,264 --> 00:09:58,808 That's all right. I mean, we're used to that. 104 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:02,436 Yeah, we fully cleaned out Ted's little brother's junior high school dance. 105 00:10:02,687 --> 00:10:06,148 They totally turned on "La Bamba" while he was playing his solo. 106 00:10:06,357 --> 00:10:08,150 Shut up, Ted! 107 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:12,446 Guys, do yourself a favor. Prepare a little. 108 00:10:12,655 --> 00:10:15,658 Work on your act. I mean, think of something. 109 00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:19,203 Don't worry, Ms. Wardroe. We won't let you down. 110 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:27,920 - Dude, we gotta win at that concert. - Yeah, then we could finally propose to the ladies. 111 00:10:28,087 --> 00:10:28,921 I know. 112 00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:32,800 There's no way we can raise a family on the money we make at Pretzels 'N' Cheese, dude. 113 00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:37,138 I'll call Missy, tell her we're on our way. 114 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:40,641 Should be a most resplendent birthday party. 115 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:45,271 - Shall we, ladies? - Great, sure. 116 00:10:47,857 --> 00:10:50,151 ♪ [rock music playing] ♪ 117 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,295 So I understand you two have a little something else to celebrate tonight. 118 00:11:09,879 --> 00:11:12,340 We got into the Battle of the Bands. 119 00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:14,300 - Yeah! - Yeah! 120 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:18,095 If we win, I can totally pay you back the money I owe you. 121 00:11:18,304 --> 00:11:20,348 And what if you don't win? 122 00:11:22,391 --> 00:11:26,687 Well, um, I guess... 123 00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:31,067 Maybe sell some more blood. 124 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:34,612 Perhaps you should think about selling a couple of the instruments. 125 00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:38,699 Of course, we've always got a spot for you, Ted. 126 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:43,454 You remember my old friend, Colonel Oats from the Alaskan Military School? 127 00:11:44,997 --> 00:11:46,415 Oh, um... 128 00:11:48,793 --> 00:11:50,378 - "How's it going?", Ted? - Yeah. 129 00:11:50,628 --> 00:11:52,421 Splendidly. 130 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,091 Remember... 131 00:11:55,341 --> 00:11:57,927 ...it's not too late for you, Ted. 132 00:12:00,805 --> 00:12:01,681 Yeah. 133 00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:04,183 Whoa. 134 00:12:04,517 --> 00:12:05,976 For either of you. 135 00:12:07,103 --> 00:12:09,188 For all four of you. 136 00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,357 [laughing] 137 00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:19,031 Fresh fudge. 138 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,284 - Hi, Oatsie. - Hi. 139 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:24,870 Darling. 140 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:28,332 - Hi, guys. - Hi, Missy. 141 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:31,210 Hey, Missy. I mean, Mom. 142 00:12:36,549 --> 00:12:39,635 I can't believe Missy divorced your dad... 143 00:12:39,844 --> 00:12:41,470 ...and married mine. 144 00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:44,014 Shut up, Ted. 145 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,481 - Your dad looks bad. - I know. 146 00:12:54,483 --> 00:12:55,651 What's next? 147 00:12:55,943 --> 00:13:00,781 - Maybe she'll marry you. - Yeah, then you'll be your own stepdad. 148 00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:08,289 You've probably noticed we haven't given you our gifts yet. 149 00:13:08,497 --> 00:13:11,959 Yeah. That's because... 150 00:13:14,378 --> 00:13:16,672 Uh... well... 151 00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:20,718 That's because what we wanted to say was, uh... 152 00:13:22,762 --> 00:13:26,348 well... uh... 153 00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:30,352 Excuse us, dude. 154 00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:41,697 I wrote this myself. 155 00:13:41,906 --> 00:13:43,991 I wrote this last night. 156 00:13:49,163 --> 00:13:50,122 "Elizabeth..." 157 00:13:50,414 --> 00:13:51,332 "Joanna... 158 00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:56,545 ...as I wander through this dark and lonely forest of life..." 159 00:13:56,754 --> 00:13:59,089 "...surrounded by various beasts..." 160 00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:02,384 "...bears, vipers, squirrels..." 161 00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:05,095 "Not to mention barnacles and algae..." 162 00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:09,350 "...man-of-wars, starfish, blowfish, catfish..." 163 00:14:09,934 --> 00:14:11,769 Oh, no, that's freshwater. 164 00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:16,941 The point is, I know we promised you a better life than this. 165 00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:23,322 What I mean to say is, I realize when we took you out of England... 166 00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:26,951 ...we said the future held some really good stuff. 167 00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:30,329 Although stuff hasn't worked out the way we thought... 168 00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:33,958 ...it will, we hope. 169 00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,962 The day after tomorrow, if things work out... 170 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:40,798 What this is about is... 171 00:14:48,848 --> 00:14:50,516 - Will you...? - Marry us? 172 00:14:57,481 --> 00:14:59,275 - Theodore... - I'd love to. 173 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,587 [guitar noodling] 174 00:15:22,381 --> 00:15:23,382 Yeah! 175 00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:28,095 [lightning crackles] 176 00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:38,814 ♪ [suspenseful music] ♪ 177 00:15:40,733 --> 00:15:45,404 - Aim for the cat, dude! Aim for the cat! - I'm trying, Evil Ted! I'm trying! 178 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,034 [electricity crackling] [crash] 179 00:15:50,284 --> 00:15:51,952 Aw, just missed! 180 00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:06,216 - Not bad. - Yeah, let's make it bad. 181 00:16:06,425 --> 00:16:08,344 [laughing] 182 00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,311 [electronic beeping] 183 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:18,979 We're here, dude. 184 00:16:20,064 --> 00:16:21,398 Is Rufus with you? 185 00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:23,692 One second. 186 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:39,333 Looks like we lost him in the circuits of time, duder. 187 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:42,878 Good. Then he's gone forever. 188 00:16:43,087 --> 00:16:46,465 Our first act of business: 189 00:16:46,674 --> 00:16:49,885 Destroy that ridiculous, insipid band! 190 00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:52,388 You got it, dude! 191 00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:54,556 Get to work. 192 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,518 Now! 193 00:16:57,768 --> 00:16:59,436 Study these books well. 194 00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:02,189 When my mission is completed... 195 00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:05,192 ...this will be the new history. 196 00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:08,153 What a shithead. 197 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,202 - Bye! - Bye! 198 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:17,871 Drive safe! 199 00:17:19,415 --> 00:17:20,374 - Dude. - What? 200 00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:24,044 I wonder if after we're married, the princesses will stay over with us? 201 00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,714 Yeah, our girlfriends are most chaste. 202 00:17:26,922 --> 00:17:29,883 - Yeah. At least they're not dating our dads. - Good point, dude. 203 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,885 Yeah. [telephone rings] 204 00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:39,268 - Hello? - Hello, Bill. This is Joanna. 205 00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:42,479 Hey, Joanna! How'd you call us so fast? 206 00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:44,815 It's not important. This is: 207 00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:49,361 Elizabeth and I have spoken, and we've decided we're quitting Wyld Stallyns. 208 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,529 What? 209 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:51,864 - Yes! - Why? 210 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:55,034 We think you're losers and we never want to see you again. 211 00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:56,201 No way! 212 00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:58,662 We're going to the desert to be alone. 213 00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:01,999 - But... - It's over. Goodbye. 214 00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:14,094 - I totally fooled those other usses. - Yeah, they're completely brilliant. 215 00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:15,345 Not! 216 00:18:15,554 --> 00:18:16,263 [guitar noodling] 217 00:18:16,472 --> 00:18:18,849 - Let's fitch the booth and start phase two. - Station. 218 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,351 [buttons pressing] 219 00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:34,782 [electronic beeping] [electricity crackling] 220 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:44,833 [guitar noodling] 221 00:18:47,586 --> 00:18:50,255 An incredible fortune in stones. 222 00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:54,802 Yet I would trade them all for a hand phaser. 223 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,430 Or a good solid club. 224 00:18:59,389 --> 00:19:02,810 Maybe we should've proposed to them sooner. 225 00:19:04,812 --> 00:19:06,772 How could we, Ted? 226 00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:09,525 We could barely afford our own apartment. 227 00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:14,071 This is most non-non-heinous. 228 00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:17,783 - What are we gonna do? - We gotta find them. 229 00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:19,243 Talk to 'em. 230 00:19:20,244 --> 00:19:21,161 But how? 231 00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:39,054 [knocking] 232 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,349 Wonder who that could be? 233 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,568 How's it going, Bill and Ted? 234 00:19:52,943 --> 00:19:55,362 Ted, it's us again. 235 00:19:56,155 --> 00:19:59,241 - How's it going, Bill? - Not bad, Bill. And you? 236 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:00,450 Bad. 237 00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:05,831 We came to help you guys in your most unfortunate situation. 238 00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:06,832 Yeah. 239 00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:15,507 How? 240 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,759 Come with us. We'll show you. 241 00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:19,094 Okay. 242 00:20:20,012 --> 00:20:21,388 Excuse us. 243 00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:22,389 Dude. 244 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:28,145 - I got a weird feeling here. - Why? 245 00:20:28,729 --> 00:20:29,980 I don't know. 246 00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:33,901 How do we know these guys are really us? 247 00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:40,282 Ted, we've been through this before. 248 00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:43,243 Now if it wasn't for the previous intervention of our future selves... 249 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:47,331 ...would we have even passed history? Or met the babes? 250 00:20:47,998 --> 00:20:51,418 Or had a most excellent adventure through time? 251 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:53,378 Okay. 252 00:20:56,048 --> 00:21:00,427 Ted, if you're really me, how many fingers am I about to hold up? 253 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:01,637 Three. 254 00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:03,639 - Whoa! - Whoa! 255 00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:05,182 You're right! 256 00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:09,561 Let's go, guys. We'll drive. 257 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:17,110 - Ted. - What? 258 00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:22,157 I have a feeling we're about to embark on a most unprecedented expedition. 259 00:21:24,243 --> 00:21:25,702 - Dude. - What? 260 00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:30,082 I got a full-on robot chubby. 261 00:21:31,083 --> 00:21:32,417 Later, Evil Ted. 262 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,169 Later. 263 00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:37,965 ♪ [Faith No More's "The Perfect Crime" playing] ♪ 264 00:21:48,850 --> 00:21:50,102 I'm cold. 265 00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,520 Yeah. 266 00:21:52,646 --> 00:21:55,399 Hey! Dudes! Can we have some heat back here? 267 00:21:55,649 --> 00:21:57,109 Shut up, Bill. 268 00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:01,613 That other you's a real jerk. 269 00:22:01,863 --> 00:22:07,661 Yeah! I better remember to be more considerate towards myself when I become him. 270 00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:09,913 He said, shut your holes! 271 00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:12,040 Dude. 272 00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:14,918 I got a very bad feeling. 273 00:22:49,077 --> 00:22:50,162 Out. 274 00:22:57,669 --> 00:23:01,089 So, where are Joanna and Elizabeth? 275 00:23:01,590 --> 00:23:02,341 They're not here. 276 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:07,471 Yeah. We lied. Here's the truth, we're totally gonna kill you now. 277 00:23:07,679 --> 00:23:08,513 [laughing] 278 00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:10,599 - No way! - Yes way, Ted. 279 00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:15,437 - We're fully programmed to do it. - Yeah, and we want to do it, too. 280 00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:18,065 You dick, Bill! 281 00:23:18,273 --> 00:23:19,358 [laughing] 282 00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:21,943 [metallic clang] Ow! 283 00:23:22,402 --> 00:23:26,323 - You're metal, dude! - I know. Check it out! 284 00:23:27,616 --> 00:23:29,159 [electronic beeping] 285 00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:30,952 Whoa! 286 00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:36,458 [guitar noodling] 287 00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:37,626 Let's go. 288 00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:39,836 Bogus. 289 00:23:40,045 --> 00:23:46,176 ♪ [Megadeth's "Go To Hell" playing] ♪ 290 00:24:12,536 --> 00:24:15,414 [laughing] Ted... 291 00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:17,541 ...we gotta do something. 292 00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:21,670 Dudes, even though you're doing this... 293 00:24:21,962 --> 00:24:25,298 ...we, we... 294 00:24:25,549 --> 00:24:27,008 ...we love you. 295 00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:28,969 We love you. 296 00:24:31,263 --> 00:24:32,639 Fags! 297 00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:35,058 [Bill and Ted screaming] 298 00:24:37,811 --> 00:24:40,981 Catch you later, Bill and Ted! 299 00:24:44,151 --> 00:24:45,360 [laughing] 300 00:24:58,623 --> 00:25:01,877 Yes! I totally loogied on that good dead me! 301 00:25:02,043 --> 00:25:02,919 Yeah! 302 00:25:03,128 --> 00:25:03,962 [metallic clank] 303 00:25:04,171 --> 00:25:06,798 - We're fully, full-on evil robots. - Yeah! 304 00:25:06,965 --> 00:25:11,845 [guitar noodling] 305 00:25:12,721 --> 00:25:15,390 - You wanna take the van? - No, it's beat. 306 00:25:18,101 --> 00:25:19,269 There's a Porsche. 307 00:25:19,478 --> 00:25:21,146 ♪ [King's X's "Junior's Gone Wild" playing] ♪ 308 00:25:21,313 --> 00:25:22,439 Let's bag it. 309 00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:25,734 Station. 310 00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:05,232 Bill... 311 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:08,193 ...what happened? 312 00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:10,820 Ted... 313 00:26:12,197 --> 00:26:13,657 ...we're dead, dude. 314 00:26:17,452 --> 00:26:21,206 - No way. - Yes way. 315 00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:22,791 Look. 316 00:26:29,506 --> 00:26:31,216 Now what? 317 00:26:35,178 --> 00:26:36,429 Who's that? 318 00:26:43,603 --> 00:26:44,771 Whoa! 319 00:26:46,982 --> 00:26:48,191 Who are you? 320 00:26:49,067 --> 00:26:49,776 Ted... 321 00:26:51,528 --> 00:26:53,530 ...it's the Grim Reaper, dude. 322 00:26:53,738 --> 00:26:54,406 Oh. 323 00:26:56,992 --> 00:26:58,702 How's it hanging, Death? 324 00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:02,330 You will come with me. 325 00:27:05,375 --> 00:27:08,545 We can't. We gotta get back to the babes. 326 00:27:08,753 --> 00:27:11,214 Ted, we can't. We're dead, dude. 327 00:27:11,423 --> 00:27:14,509 We gotta stop those evil usses. We gotta try. 328 00:27:17,012 --> 00:27:20,140 Excuse us, dude, but is there any way back? 329 00:27:22,601 --> 00:27:25,604 You may challenge me to a contest. 330 00:27:26,229 --> 00:27:27,814 But if you lose... 331 00:27:28,690 --> 00:27:31,610 ...you will remain here in the afterlife... 332 00:27:32,152 --> 00:27:33,570 ...forever. 333 00:27:33,737 --> 00:27:35,530 [gulping] 334 00:27:38,283 --> 00:27:40,368 What if we win? 335 00:27:41,453 --> 00:27:45,081 No one has ever won. 336 00:27:46,374 --> 00:27:49,836 - Dude, we gotta ditch this guy. - Definitely. 337 00:27:50,420 --> 00:27:51,504 But how? 338 00:27:54,257 --> 00:27:55,884 Melvin. 339 00:27:56,343 --> 00:27:57,844 [guitar noodling] 340 00:28:00,096 --> 00:28:02,557 Excuse us, dude... 341 00:28:02,766 --> 00:28:05,352 ...but your shoes are untied. 342 00:28:06,436 --> 00:28:07,354 Oh. 343 00:28:09,147 --> 00:28:11,941 [fabric ripping] [Death screams] 344 00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:19,115 I can't believe we just Melvined Death. 345 00:28:19,282 --> 00:28:20,158 Yeah! 346 00:28:21,743 --> 00:28:23,662 Let's just hope he doesn't catch up with us. 347 00:28:40,595 --> 00:28:42,514 Whoa. 348 00:28:47,977 --> 00:28:51,022 ♪ [Neverland's "For The Love (of Music)" playing] ♪ 349 00:29:05,662 --> 00:29:07,080 No way! 350 00:29:10,667 --> 00:29:11,668 This isn't funny. 351 00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:13,378 Way to go, Joanna! 352 00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:16,297 I don't understand what's come over you two. 353 00:29:16,548 --> 00:29:20,427 You see, we used to be puss-weeds, but now we're metal. 354 00:29:20,677 --> 00:29:22,095 So get over here and put out! 355 00:29:24,681 --> 00:29:27,809 Let's go. You can forget about us playing tonight. 356 00:29:28,727 --> 00:29:29,686 Fine. 357 00:29:35,483 --> 00:29:37,694 Then I guess that's that. 358 00:29:37,902 --> 00:29:38,945 [mocking] 359 00:29:39,863 --> 00:29:41,948 Yeah, see 'ya. 360 00:29:43,283 --> 00:29:47,120 [guitar noise] 361 00:29:54,502 --> 00:29:56,588 Catch you later, babes! 362 00:29:58,548 --> 00:30:01,760 [squishing sounds] 363 00:30:06,139 --> 00:30:08,308 Ted, I have an idea. 364 00:30:08,558 --> 00:30:11,394 Tonight at the concert after we make De Nomolos' speech... 365 00:30:12,228 --> 00:30:14,189 ...let's waste them. 366 00:30:14,939 --> 00:30:19,152 Station. In the meantime, let's trash this lame little rathole. 367 00:30:19,402 --> 00:30:20,820 Stellar, Evil Ted! 368 00:30:27,452 --> 00:30:32,040 - Ted, we have got to stop them. - Yeah. But how? 369 00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:37,754 I hope this works. 370 00:30:37,962 --> 00:30:40,924 It worked in The Exorcist. I and Ill! 371 00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:47,514 Alright, Hirschfeld, 372 00:30:47,722 --> 00:30:51,684 you'll move downtown so DeLoach can take her maternity leave. 373 00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:55,188 Also, we need to make a few shifts. Anyone interested in moonlighting... 374 00:30:55,438 --> 00:30:58,858 ...we'll be stepping up security at the amphitheater tonight for the Battle of the Bands. 375 00:30:59,108 --> 00:31:02,320 I hear your son's band is playing? 376 00:31:02,904 --> 00:31:04,697 [laughter] 377 00:31:04,948 --> 00:31:09,160 Thank you for reminding me, sergeant. Also, Scott Frank... 378 00:31:09,494 --> 00:31:13,832 - So, how do we do this? - I don't know. 379 00:31:15,333 --> 00:31:17,293 Why don't you try something? 380 00:31:18,503 --> 00:31:19,629 Okay. 381 00:31:24,217 --> 00:31:27,512 [stretching sounds] 382 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:33,393 Whoa! 383 00:31:37,230 --> 00:31:39,357 Okay, dudes. 384 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,360 I mean, fellow policemen... 385 00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:45,572 ...my son, Ted "Theodore" Logan... 386 00:31:45,822 --> 00:31:48,408 ...and his friend Bill S. Preston, Esquire... 387 00:31:48,658 --> 00:31:53,079 ...have been murdered and replaced by evil robots from the future. 388 00:31:53,288 --> 00:31:54,998 You totally did it, dude! 389 00:31:55,164 --> 00:31:57,041 I totally possessed my dad. 390 00:31:57,333 --> 00:32:00,920 [guitar noodling] 391 00:32:02,213 --> 00:32:03,339 Okay. 392 00:32:04,132 --> 00:32:06,426 You got to go over and arrest these robots 393 00:32:06,634 --> 00:32:09,178 so they don't ruin everything for me and Bill. 394 00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:11,931 I mean, my son and Bill. 395 00:32:12,557 --> 00:32:16,811 And, most importantly, they don't hurt the babes. 396 00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:19,439 The princesses. 397 00:32:21,983 --> 00:32:23,109 This isn't working. 398 00:32:23,359 --> 00:32:25,945 - Back me up, dude. - You got it, dude. 399 00:32:29,699 --> 00:32:32,368 [stretching sounds] 400 00:32:38,082 --> 00:32:40,668 I totally believe you, dude. 401 00:32:40,877 --> 00:32:42,170 - Yeah! - Yeah! 402 00:32:42,378 --> 00:32:46,633 - Whoa! Doughnuts! - Whoa! Excellent! 403 00:32:46,841 --> 00:32:48,509 Savory cruller. 404 00:32:49,177 --> 00:32:52,639 - I got really hungry being dead. - Yeah! 405 00:32:53,473 --> 00:32:54,432 Bill? 406 00:32:54,641 --> 00:32:57,060 I don't think they believe us. 407 00:32:58,061 --> 00:33:00,939 We'll have to find somebody who will. 408 00:33:01,856 --> 00:33:04,484 Catch you later, cop dudes! 409 00:33:10,698 --> 00:33:13,076 Ted, we can't go like this. 410 00:33:13,409 --> 00:33:15,870 Oh. Yeah! 411 00:33:16,913 --> 00:33:19,540 [stretching sounds] 412 00:33:25,463 --> 00:33:27,465 Thanks, Dad. 413 00:33:29,509 --> 00:33:33,179 - Good morning. - Sergeant. 414 00:33:38,309 --> 00:33:39,227 Gandhi. 415 00:33:41,646 --> 00:33:43,439 Anne Boleyn. 416 00:33:44,482 --> 00:33:45,942 Aristotle. 417 00:33:46,693 --> 00:33:49,529 - President Chester A. Arthur. - Yes! 418 00:33:51,030 --> 00:33:52,782 Clark Gable. 419 00:33:53,533 --> 00:33:55,118 Charlemagne. 420 00:33:55,660 --> 00:33:57,495 And I would like to contact Ty Cobb. 421 00:34:04,585 --> 00:34:07,839 - Has this séance stuff ever worked? - No. 422 00:34:09,382 --> 00:34:11,676 But it will today, dude. 423 00:34:11,884 --> 00:34:14,387 [speaking gibberish] 424 00:34:19,225 --> 00:34:22,353 O great spirits from the netherworld... 425 00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:26,441 ...leave your celestial abode and speak upon us... 426 00:34:26,733 --> 00:34:29,902 ...with your life lessons. 427 00:34:34,073 --> 00:34:37,702 [whooshing] Whoa! 428 00:34:40,621 --> 00:34:42,957 I feel the spirits have arrived! 429 00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:44,959 How's it going... 430 00:34:45,251 --> 00:34:48,087 ...New Age dudes? 431 00:34:48,838 --> 00:34:51,799 Spirits, can you hear me? 432 00:34:52,008 --> 00:34:53,134 Yeah! 433 00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:57,138 And we can totally see down your... 434 00:34:57,430 --> 00:35:00,224 Ted, it's your mom, dude! 435 00:35:02,060 --> 00:35:05,229 Whoa, you're right! Move over, dude. 436 00:35:06,481 --> 00:35:09,692 Spirits, what have you to say to us? 437 00:35:09,859 --> 00:35:10,693 OK... 438 00:35:10,902 --> 00:35:14,572 ...the princesses are in trouble. 439 00:35:14,739 --> 00:35:19,160 Yeah. Ted and his most excellent friend Bill... 440 00:35:19,452 --> 00:35:21,162 ...were killed! 441 00:35:22,747 --> 00:35:24,373 - Listen to us. - You must go. 442 00:35:24,582 --> 00:35:26,209 Beware of evil Bill! 443 00:35:27,126 --> 00:35:30,379 Warn the princesses! 444 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,216 O evil spirits from Hell... 445 00:35:33,466 --> 00:35:36,594 ...I send you back into the darkness from whence you came! 446 00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:44,393 - What's she doing? - I don't know, but I don't think it's good. 447 00:35:45,895 --> 00:35:47,355 Uh-oh. 448 00:35:47,980 --> 00:35:49,524 No way! 449 00:35:52,443 --> 00:35:56,781 [lightning crackles] [chanting] 450 00:36:16,425 --> 00:36:19,929 [Bill and Ted screaming] 451 00:36:40,908 --> 00:36:44,495 [Bill and Ted screaming] 452 00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,167 - Dude, this is a totally deep hole. - Yeah! 453 00:36:52,170 --> 00:36:55,298 - Now what? - I don't know. 454 00:36:56,382 --> 00:37:03,973 [Bill and Ted screaming] 455 00:37:07,935 --> 00:37:08,811 Hey. 456 00:37:09,145 --> 00:37:13,649 - You wanna play 20 Questions? - Okay. I got one. 457 00:37:14,108 --> 00:37:15,109 Are you a mineral? 458 00:37:16,694 --> 00:37:17,403 Yeah. 459 00:37:18,279 --> 00:37:19,363 Are you a tank? 460 00:37:19,572 --> 00:37:21,324 Whoa, yeah! 461 00:37:21,532 --> 00:37:22,742 Good one! 462 00:37:23,326 --> 00:37:24,702 [thuds] 463 00:37:25,244 --> 00:37:25,995 Whoa! 464 00:37:26,871 --> 00:37:29,999 - Not bad! - Yeah. Can we do it again? 465 00:37:30,958 --> 00:37:35,338 I'm working as hard as I can! 466 00:37:35,630 --> 00:37:37,548 No way! 467 00:37:41,636 --> 00:37:44,639 This is not what I expected this place to look like at all. 468 00:37:44,847 --> 00:37:48,643 Yeah. We got totally lied to by our album covers, man. 469 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,397 [rocks crunching] 470 00:38:00,738 --> 00:38:02,156 Whoa. 471 00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:03,950 Who's that? 472 00:38:04,408 --> 00:38:07,745 Ted, who do you think it is, dude? 473 00:38:09,455 --> 00:38:10,706 Oh yeah! 474 00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:14,543 How are we gonna get his attention? 475 00:38:15,461 --> 00:38:17,171 Sign of the devil, dude! 476 00:38:17,838 --> 00:38:21,676 - Hey, Devil dude! Yo! - Down here! 477 00:38:21,842 --> 00:38:24,095 Down here, dude! 478 00:38:24,345 --> 00:38:27,098 Two little guys! 479 00:38:27,348 --> 00:38:29,350 Big dude! Down here! 480 00:38:30,518 --> 00:38:32,395 Right down here, bro! 481 00:38:32,645 --> 00:38:37,275 [metallic grinding] [chains clinking] 482 00:38:40,736 --> 00:38:43,948 Dude, I kind of like this. 483 00:38:44,156 --> 00:38:45,908 Whoa! 484 00:38:46,117 --> 00:38:47,785 Excellent! 485 00:38:49,829 --> 00:38:52,331 - Let's get out of here, dude. - OK. 486 00:38:57,545 --> 00:39:01,799 Ted, if I die, you can have my Megadeth collection. 487 00:39:02,008 --> 00:39:03,926 But, dude, we're already dead! 488 00:39:04,218 --> 00:39:05,094 Oh. 489 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:09,807 - Well, then they're yours, dude. - Whoa! Thanks, dude. 490 00:39:12,435 --> 00:39:16,397 [grunting] 491 00:39:30,661 --> 00:39:32,788 How's it going, Beelzebub? 492 00:39:32,997 --> 00:39:34,665 So, uh... 493 00:39:34,874 --> 00:39:37,168 Okay. Can we go now? 494 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,421 You may go. 495 00:39:40,629 --> 00:39:42,423 [laughing] 496 00:39:42,631 --> 00:39:44,300 Whoa! 497 00:39:44,508 --> 00:39:45,968 - Thanks, dude! - Yeah! 498 00:39:46,260 --> 00:39:50,973 You know, you got a bad rap, but you're actually an okay dude! 499 00:39:51,182 --> 00:39:53,100 [metallic grinding] [Bill and Ted screaming] 500 00:40:02,985 --> 00:40:03,778 Whoa. 501 00:40:04,862 --> 00:40:08,157 - Where are we? - I don't know. 502 00:40:09,784 --> 00:40:12,244 Maybe we should try one of these tunnels. 503 00:40:20,669 --> 00:40:23,255 - Dude, where are we? - I don't know. 504 00:40:24,048 --> 00:40:26,175 Maybe we should try one of these doors. 505 00:40:29,053 --> 00:40:30,971 [metallic grinding] 506 00:40:32,181 --> 00:40:34,100 After you, dude. 507 00:40:42,191 --> 00:40:43,901 Now where are we? 508 00:40:44,944 --> 00:40:46,987 [footsteps] 509 00:40:47,238 --> 00:40:48,280 Who's that? 510 00:40:53,119 --> 00:40:54,370 It's Colonel Oats! 511 00:40:55,121 --> 00:40:56,705 No way! 512 00:40:57,081 --> 00:40:58,749 Gentlemen! 513 00:41:00,709 --> 00:41:03,421 Welcome to Hell. 514 00:41:03,712 --> 00:41:06,173 - No way. - What?! 515 00:41:06,340 --> 00:41:07,967 No way, sir? 516 00:41:08,175 --> 00:41:09,969 You two... 517 00:41:11,137 --> 00:41:14,640 ...will do whatever I tell you to do... 518 00:41:14,932 --> 00:41:17,768 ...from now on. 519 00:41:18,060 --> 00:41:20,396 Is that clear? 520 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,733 - Yes, sir, dude! - What?! 521 00:41:25,401 --> 00:41:28,279 - Yes, dude, sir! - What?! 522 00:41:28,863 --> 00:41:30,698 Yes, sir, sir dude! 523 00:41:30,906 --> 00:41:33,701 Get down and give me... 524 00:41:33,951 --> 00:41:36,078 ...infinity. 525 00:41:39,290 --> 00:41:43,169 Stupid, pathetic, craven little cretins. 526 00:41:43,377 --> 00:41:44,336 Dude. 527 00:41:44,712 --> 00:41:50,009 - There's no way I can possibly do infinity pushups! - Pitiful little morons. 528 00:41:50,342 --> 00:41:52,928 - Maybe if he lets us do 'em girlie-style. - Jokers! 529 00:41:53,179 --> 00:41:57,558 You petty, base, bully, bullock, bugger billies. 530 00:41:57,808 --> 00:42:01,520 You're not strong! You're silky boys! 531 00:42:02,062 --> 00:42:06,233 Silk comes from the butts of Chinese worms. 532 00:42:06,442 --> 00:42:08,611 Dude, we gotta get out of here. 533 00:42:08,819 --> 00:42:11,697 I'll eat you up like the warm, toasty little butter cakes you are. 534 00:42:11,947 --> 00:42:14,325 Get back here! 535 00:42:18,204 --> 00:42:19,830 - Dude. - What? 536 00:42:20,122 --> 00:42:22,750 I think we're in our own personal hell. 537 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:27,087 - Let's split up. - Yeah. That way he can't get us so bad. 538 00:42:34,637 --> 00:42:37,389 [metallic grinding] 539 00:42:47,525 --> 00:42:49,443 What happened? 540 00:43:11,465 --> 00:43:15,052 ♪ [old-time music playing] ♪ Whoa! 541 00:43:16,428 --> 00:43:18,180 Bogus! 542 00:43:23,310 --> 00:43:32,653 ♪ Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! ♪ 543 00:43:33,112 --> 00:43:38,784 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Granny! ♪ 544 00:43:39,493 --> 00:43:44,623 ♪ Happy birthday to you! ♪ 545 00:43:45,666 --> 00:43:50,254 Granny S. Preston, Esquire. 546 00:43:50,546 --> 00:43:51,964 No way. 547 00:44:02,349 --> 00:44:03,350 Theodore! 548 00:44:05,519 --> 00:44:07,438 You made your little brother cry. 549 00:44:08,230 --> 00:44:09,607 How about... 550 00:44:09,982 --> 00:44:11,650 ...a kiss... 551 00:44:12,234 --> 00:44:16,780 ...for your dear old granny, Bill? 552 00:44:23,704 --> 00:44:25,080 Come along. 553 00:44:31,086 --> 00:44:32,630 [puckering] 554 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,716 You stole Deacon's Easter basket. 555 00:44:35,966 --> 00:44:39,428 No way. This was 10 years ago! 556 00:44:39,637 --> 00:44:40,929 Uh-huh! 557 00:44:43,098 --> 00:44:44,433 [puckering] 558 00:44:48,312 --> 00:44:49,313 Come here! 559 00:44:49,521 --> 00:44:52,316 [metallic grinding] Whoa! 560 00:44:54,151 --> 00:44:57,988 That was non, non, non... Non-heinous! 561 00:44:58,238 --> 00:44:59,490 Choose... 562 00:44:59,782 --> 00:45:00,949 ...your... 563 00:45:01,241 --> 00:45:03,285 ...eternity. 564 00:45:03,494 --> 00:45:06,497 [evil laugh] 565 00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:09,958 Choose your own, you fag! 566 00:45:10,167 --> 00:45:11,919 [Ted screaming] 567 00:45:18,759 --> 00:45:23,597 You ugly, red source of all evil! 568 00:45:23,806 --> 00:45:25,599 [Bill screams] 569 00:45:30,604 --> 00:45:33,273 Hello, girls. 570 00:45:34,942 --> 00:45:36,193 [screaming] 571 00:45:40,364 --> 00:45:42,658 [Bill and Ted screaming] 572 00:45:42,991 --> 00:45:44,242 - Dude. - What? 573 00:45:44,243 --> 00:45:46,412 - Hell sucks! - Definitely! 574 00:45:46,620 --> 00:45:53,168 - You total no-nosed salamanders! - Deac's Easter basket! Nya-na-na-na-na 575 00:45:53,377 --> 00:45:54,837 [wicked laughing] 576 00:45:55,045 --> 00:45:56,338 Come to Oatsie! 577 00:46:00,801 --> 00:46:02,928 I wanted one right on the lips! 578 00:46:04,304 --> 00:46:09,518 - Ted, there's only one way outta here, man! - Right, dude. We gotta play the Reaper! 579 00:46:16,275 --> 00:46:18,819 Choose your game. 580 00:46:19,361 --> 00:46:21,572 But if you lose... 581 00:46:21,864 --> 00:46:24,491 ...you will stay here in Hell... 582 00:46:25,367 --> 00:46:27,077 ...forever. 583 00:46:43,886 --> 00:46:46,180 D-1. 584 00:46:50,851 --> 00:46:51,810 Miss. 585 00:47:01,111 --> 00:47:02,404 B... 586 00:47:02,696 --> 00:47:03,781 ...3. 587 00:47:05,282 --> 00:47:06,950 Miss. 588 00:47:08,702 --> 00:47:11,330 C-6. 589 00:47:15,709 --> 00:47:16,877 Hit. 590 00:47:20,798 --> 00:47:23,509 - Dude... - I know. 591 00:47:30,349 --> 00:47:32,684 J-7. 592 00:47:33,769 --> 00:47:35,896 J-7... 593 00:47:37,481 --> 00:47:38,440 Hit. 594 00:47:38,607 --> 00:47:40,108 Yeah! 595 00:47:40,275 --> 00:47:44,279 A hit. You have sunk my battleship. 596 00:47:45,030 --> 00:47:45,989 Excellent! 597 00:47:48,492 --> 00:47:51,620 - I totally knew he put it in the J's. - Good thinking, Ted. 598 00:47:51,870 --> 00:47:53,789 You must play me again. 599 00:47:54,498 --> 00:47:58,418 - What?! - Um, best two out of three. 600 00:47:58,669 --> 00:47:59,878 No way! 601 00:48:03,799 --> 00:48:05,634 Yes way. 602 00:48:06,301 --> 00:48:08,178 ♪ [ominous music] ♪ 603 00:48:14,268 --> 00:48:16,353 - What's he doing? - I don't know. 604 00:48:27,114 --> 00:48:29,199 I believe... 605 00:48:29,449 --> 00:48:33,537 ...Col. Mustard did it in the study with the candlestick. 606 00:48:41,837 --> 00:48:45,048 Sorry, Death. You lose. It was Professor Plum. 607 00:48:45,299 --> 00:48:49,219 - I said "Plum." - No way. You said "Mustard!" 608 00:48:49,469 --> 00:48:50,804 Can we go back now? 609 00:48:53,181 --> 00:48:54,808 Best three out of five. 610 00:48:56,018 --> 00:48:58,228 I don't believe this guy. 611 00:49:10,282 --> 00:49:12,701 - Best of seven? - Damn right! 612 00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:16,163 [grunting] 613 00:49:17,623 --> 00:49:19,583 Right hand, green. 614 00:49:24,504 --> 00:49:26,506 Left hand, red. 615 00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:28,050 [grunting] 616 00:49:30,886 --> 00:49:33,013 Right foot, green. 617 00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,098 Right foot... 618 00:49:44,983 --> 00:49:48,028 [sniffs] Oh! Oh, dude! 619 00:49:56,203 --> 00:49:57,329 [falls] 620 00:49:57,537 --> 00:49:58,622 Yeah! 621 00:49:59,081 --> 00:50:00,374 Yeah! 622 00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:02,668 Well? 623 00:50:07,839 --> 00:50:09,257 I will... 624 00:50:11,176 --> 00:50:12,678 ...take you back. 625 00:50:13,679 --> 00:50:15,347 [guitar noodling] 626 00:50:20,018 --> 00:50:24,690 - You played very well, Death. - Especially with your totally heavy death robes. 627 00:50:24,982 --> 00:50:26,733 Don't patronize me. 628 00:50:26,984 --> 00:50:31,238 Whoa, whatever, dude. But you got a lot to learn about sportsmanship. 629 00:50:32,406 --> 00:50:33,865 This way. 630 00:50:34,992 --> 00:50:36,868 Now we can go back and save the babes. 631 00:50:37,119 --> 00:50:41,081 Yeah, but Bill, when we get back, how will we fight those other usses? 632 00:50:41,331 --> 00:50:45,335 I mean, they're totally stronger than us. And way smarter than us. 633 00:50:45,585 --> 00:50:47,337 Yeah, plus, they already killed us once. 634 00:50:47,546 --> 00:50:49,339 Yeah. [clears throat] 635 00:50:50,007 --> 00:50:51,758 One minute, duder! 636 00:50:52,175 --> 00:50:57,389 Okay, if we were good human usses and we had to fight two evil robot usses... 637 00:50:57,639 --> 00:51:01,184 ...what would we do? - Make good robot usses? 638 00:51:01,435 --> 00:51:03,937 Ted, good thinking, dude! 639 00:51:04,104 --> 00:51:05,313 Excuse us. 640 00:51:05,731 --> 00:51:08,400 - Excuse me, Death? - Oh, now what? 641 00:51:08,608 --> 00:51:11,862 Well, could you take us to someone who could help us? 642 00:51:12,112 --> 00:51:15,490 You have beaten me. I am at your command. 643 00:51:15,782 --> 00:51:16,992 Cool! 644 00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:18,869 This way. 645 00:51:20,412 --> 00:51:22,122 - Ted. - What? 646 00:51:22,330 --> 00:51:23,956 Don't fear the Reaper. 647 00:51:23,957 --> 00:51:25,208 [guitar noodling] 648 00:51:25,417 --> 00:51:27,377 I heard that. 649 00:51:27,586 --> 00:51:30,589 ♪ [angelic music playing] ♪ 650 00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:37,429 Whoa. 651 00:51:39,890 --> 00:51:42,726 This is most atypical. 652 00:52:07,250 --> 00:52:08,877 Welcome to Heaven. 653 00:52:11,171 --> 00:52:13,090 I'm sure I'll enjoy it. 654 00:52:13,799 --> 00:52:15,050 Thank you. 655 00:52:17,260 --> 00:52:18,428 Through there. 656 00:52:18,678 --> 00:52:19,846 Welcome to Heaven. 657 00:52:20,013 --> 00:52:21,389 - Hello. - Hello. 658 00:52:21,556 --> 00:52:23,558 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 659 00:52:24,976 --> 00:52:29,439 "Only the most serene and enlightened souls shall gain audience." 660 00:52:29,731 --> 00:52:31,733 Dude, we're in big trouble. 661 00:52:34,277 --> 00:52:36,279 I think I have an idea, dude. 662 00:52:42,536 --> 00:52:45,080 - Hello, welcome to Heaven. - Psst. Hey. 663 00:52:45,288 --> 00:52:46,915 Wise dudes. 664 00:52:47,207 --> 00:52:49,584 - Can we ask you a question? - OK. 665 00:52:49,918 --> 00:52:51,670 Right this way, please. 666 00:52:53,505 --> 00:52:57,467 [punching, groans] [thuds] 667 00:53:02,514 --> 00:53:05,350 Dude, we're in Heaven, and we just mugged three people. 668 00:53:05,559 --> 00:53:09,187 I know. We better get outta here before we ruin it for everybody. 669 00:53:12,607 --> 00:53:14,401 Come on, Death. 670 00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:17,279 You look great, dude. 671 00:53:18,613 --> 00:53:20,198 You think so? 672 00:53:20,907 --> 00:53:23,827 [snickers] Yeah. 673 00:53:25,203 --> 00:53:26,705 You do. 674 00:53:26,913 --> 00:53:28,707 [Bill and Ted laughing] 675 00:53:29,624 --> 00:53:31,209 Shut up. 676 00:53:32,335 --> 00:53:34,838 - Come on, dude. - It's not funny. 677 00:53:35,630 --> 00:53:38,008 I can't believe I'm doing this stupid... 678 00:53:38,258 --> 00:53:41,178 How did I end up in this ridiculous situation? 679 00:53:57,277 --> 00:53:58,403 [coughing] 680 00:54:00,947 --> 00:54:02,115 How's it going? 681 00:54:03,742 --> 00:54:05,744 What is the meaning of life? 682 00:54:07,537 --> 00:54:09,331 [whispering] Dude, I have no idea what it is. 683 00:54:15,879 --> 00:54:19,925 Every rose has its thorn 684 00:54:20,217 --> 00:54:24,262 Just like every night has its dawn 685 00:54:24,471 --> 00:54:27,474 Just like every cowboy 686 00:54:27,641 --> 00:54:31,937 Sings a sad, sad song 687 00:54:36,942 --> 00:54:40,111 Every rose has a thorn 688 00:54:42,572 --> 00:54:43,990 Don't I know you? 689 00:54:45,825 --> 00:54:46,952 No. 690 00:54:56,086 --> 00:55:02,467 ♪ [angelic fanfare ♪ 691 00:55:27,993 --> 00:55:32,831 OK. So, God, as if you didn't know... 692 00:55:33,498 --> 00:55:36,876 ...we're not the three wise people that you might have thought we were. 693 00:55:37,043 --> 00:55:42,549 No. We mugged three people and took their clothes. Sorry. 694 00:55:42,799 --> 00:55:46,428 - I'm Bill S. Preston. - I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan. 695 00:55:46,678 --> 00:55:50,515 Together, we are Wyld Stallyns! 696 00:55:50,724 --> 00:55:52,309 [laughing] Yeah. 697 00:55:53,184 --> 00:55:55,729 This lovely lady is the Grim Reaper. 698 00:55:55,979 --> 00:55:58,565 He brought us here when we challenged him and won. 699 00:55:58,773 --> 00:56:01,234 Now? OK. 700 00:56:01,651 --> 00:56:06,698 First of all, congratulations on Earth! It's a most excellent planet. 701 00:56:06,948 --> 00:56:11,786 - And Bill and I enjoy it on a daily basis. - Yeah, not to mention your other great planets. 702 00:56:11,995 --> 00:56:15,498 Mars, Jupiter, Uranus. 703 00:56:15,707 --> 00:56:17,459 [laughter] [guitar noodling] 704 00:56:18,418 --> 00:56:22,005 But the point is, okay, we died. 705 00:56:22,255 --> 00:56:24,674 Most unfairly. 706 00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:27,886 But we won the chance to come back. 707 00:56:28,136 --> 00:56:30,930 We need to construct something to help save the women we love. 708 00:56:31,139 --> 00:56:36,144 Yeah, and we don't got a lot of time. So we were wondering... 709 00:56:36,478 --> 00:56:39,898 ...could you maybe help us find somebody who can maybe help us build something? 710 00:56:40,690 --> 00:56:43,068 Station. 711 00:56:43,568 --> 00:56:46,196 Well, we were thinking along the lines... 712 00:56:46,363 --> 00:56:49,657 ...of maybe a scientist or something. 713 00:57:03,129 --> 00:57:04,506 Cool. 714 00:57:07,759 --> 00:57:09,552 Thanks, God. 715 00:57:09,886 --> 00:57:13,640 Yeah. You are a just and noble creator. 716 00:57:13,848 --> 00:57:15,433 OK, well... 717 00:57:15,642 --> 00:57:18,520 - We'll be going now. - Yeah, keep up the good work. 718 00:57:18,770 --> 00:57:20,855 Catch you later, God. 719 00:57:31,199 --> 00:57:34,994 Sorry. They Melvined me. 720 00:57:37,872 --> 00:57:40,458 [crashing] 721 00:57:40,834 --> 00:57:43,837 All right, upside-down cake! 722 00:57:44,045 --> 00:57:46,798 - Hey, Evil Ted. - What? 723 00:57:47,006 --> 00:57:48,800 [crashing] 724 00:57:52,095 --> 00:57:53,847 We're out of dishes. 725 00:57:55,348 --> 00:57:57,267 Check this out. 726 00:58:00,728 --> 00:58:02,522 Not bad, E.T. 727 00:58:05,442 --> 00:58:06,651 Let me try. 728 00:58:09,779 --> 00:58:11,156 [Evil Bill screaming] 729 00:58:13,658 --> 00:58:16,119 You totally didn't see the fan. 730 00:58:21,249 --> 00:58:24,419 Tell my body to get over here and get me! 731 00:58:24,919 --> 00:58:27,797 That's all right. I'll get you. 732 00:58:29,466 --> 00:58:31,885 Got your head, dude. 733 00:58:34,679 --> 00:58:37,432 I'm totally gonna tackle you, dude. 734 00:58:40,768 --> 00:58:45,607 - Touchdown for Evil Ted! - We're total headbangers. 735 00:58:48,860 --> 00:58:52,197 Come on. There you go. 736 00:58:58,161 --> 00:59:01,956 Stop wasting time. Proceed with the plan now. 737 00:59:02,248 --> 00:59:03,917 Okay, dude. 738 00:59:04,959 --> 00:59:08,296 What do you say we trash their relationships? 739 00:59:11,007 --> 00:59:12,509 I hate them. 740 00:59:12,759 --> 00:59:15,887 I hate the robot versions of them. 741 00:59:16,429 --> 00:59:18,306 You made us, dude. 742 00:59:24,687 --> 00:59:27,815 Well, looks like this is the place, dude. 743 00:59:28,149 --> 00:59:30,985 Now all we gotta do is find that scientist. 744 00:59:32,070 --> 00:59:35,615 - What kind of name is Station, anyway? - I don't know. 745 00:59:35,865 --> 00:59:38,159 Must be some kind of future guy. 746 00:59:43,873 --> 00:59:45,833 Okay, how many syllables? 747 00:59:48,044 --> 00:59:50,296 Is it a play or a song or...? 748 00:59:52,549 --> 00:59:53,967 It's something big. 749 00:59:55,635 --> 00:59:57,845 My money's on Einstein. 750 01:00:00,598 --> 01:00:02,100 That's Station? 751 01:00:03,017 --> 01:00:06,312 Did you assume that the most brilliant scientist... 752 01:00:06,479 --> 01:00:10,316 ...in the entire universe would be from Earth? 753 01:00:11,401 --> 01:00:12,819 Yeah. 754 01:00:17,782 --> 01:00:19,409 Movies? 755 01:00:20,410 --> 01:00:22,745 - Nine words. - Good, Mr. Franklin. 756 01:00:22,996 --> 01:00:25,290 Fire? Cigarettes? 757 01:00:25,540 --> 01:00:28,084 - Clouds, clouds. - Smoke? 758 01:00:29,210 --> 01:00:32,463 Butch and Sundance: The Early Years. 759 01:00:38,428 --> 01:00:41,723 - Death! - Sorry. 760 01:00:45,059 --> 01:00:48,062 Smokey and the Bandit III. 761 01:00:48,271 --> 01:00:51,149 Smokey is the bandit! 762 01:01:00,533 --> 01:01:03,369 Excuse us. Martians? 763 01:01:04,078 --> 01:01:07,373 First, my friend Bill and I would like to congratulate you... 764 01:01:07,624 --> 01:01:10,627 ...on a most well-played round of charades. 765 01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:13,087 Secondly, you've been referred to Ted and me... 766 01:01:13,379 --> 01:01:17,175 ...as the most brilliant scientists in the whole universe. 767 01:01:17,383 --> 01:01:21,804 So, how would you like to come to Earth with us and help us build good robot usses... 768 01:01:22,055 --> 01:01:25,892 ...to save two beautiful princesses from bad robot usses? 769 01:01:29,395 --> 01:01:32,023 [speaking alien language] 770 01:01:35,360 --> 01:01:37,111 Sounds good, Station. 771 01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:39,113 - [speaking alien language] - Let's go. 772 01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:42,492 Let's rock, Death. 773 01:01:56,881 --> 01:02:00,718 [chime] Whoa! 774 01:02:08,768 --> 01:02:09,769 Ted? 775 01:02:11,479 --> 01:02:14,232 - We're alive. - Yeah. 776 01:02:14,440 --> 01:02:18,945 But I think a buzzard was pecking at my head. 777 01:02:24,659 --> 01:02:27,078 Dinner's over, worm-dude. 778 01:02:30,790 --> 01:02:32,542 You guys okay? 779 01:02:34,085 --> 01:02:35,878 Where's Death? 780 01:02:36,087 --> 01:02:37,880 [Death screaming] 781 01:02:40,883 --> 01:02:43,511 [thud] [laughing] 782 01:02:45,054 --> 01:02:46,389 You okay, dude? 783 01:02:50,226 --> 01:02:52,186 I'm fine. 784 01:02:57,775 --> 01:03:02,655 OK. First on the agenda, we go back to town and we clean up. 785 01:03:02,905 --> 01:03:05,199 Second, call the princesses and warn 'em. 786 01:03:05,408 --> 01:03:09,287 Third, we purchase stuff to build good robot usses. 787 01:03:10,204 --> 01:03:12,707 OK. Let's go! 788 01:03:13,833 --> 01:03:15,626 [laughing] 789 01:03:16,043 --> 01:03:18,129 What? What? 790 01:03:20,965 --> 01:03:24,927 ♪ [Love on Ice's "Showdown" playing] ♪ 791 01:03:26,179 --> 01:03:27,638 [Death screaming] 792 01:03:32,977 --> 01:03:36,439 Here, kitty, kitty! Here, kitty, kitty! 793 01:03:36,731 --> 01:03:38,399 There's one, dude! 794 01:03:40,318 --> 01:03:42,195 Just missed, dude. 795 01:03:43,070 --> 01:03:45,364 Dude, we're there. 796 01:03:45,573 --> 01:03:47,283 Okay. I got an idea. 797 01:03:52,288 --> 01:03:54,415 [glass crashing] 798 01:03:54,624 --> 01:03:56,417 [girls screaming] 799 01:04:04,967 --> 01:04:06,302 [guitar noodling] 800 01:04:07,386 --> 01:04:11,015 Whoa. How's it going, lady humans? 801 01:04:12,975 --> 01:04:16,813 ♪ [Richie Kotzen's "Dream Of A New Day" playing] ♪ 802 01:04:39,794 --> 01:04:42,797 Okay, Stations, this is the Builders Emporium... 803 01:04:43,047 --> 01:04:46,926 ...a repository for earthly electronics and robot-building materials. 804 01:04:47,176 --> 01:04:51,514 Get what you need to make metal usses, understand? OK. 805 01:04:54,475 --> 01:04:58,646 - Ready for the big night, babes? - No! We're not going. 806 01:05:01,399 --> 01:05:04,443 I think you guys should stop right there. 807 01:05:05,570 --> 01:05:07,947 Catch you later, future wife. 808 01:05:10,074 --> 01:05:11,909 Whoa! Evil breath! 809 01:05:12,243 --> 01:05:13,244 Who are you two? 810 01:05:13,452 --> 01:05:15,538 Well, you see... 811 01:05:20,251 --> 01:05:22,670 [electronic beeping] 812 01:05:27,633 --> 01:05:28,926 Come on. 813 01:05:30,887 --> 01:05:34,557 - Any luck? - No. They're not at our place or at theirs. 814 01:05:34,807 --> 01:05:39,228 I'm gonna try your dad's place. Maybe they went to talk to Missy. 815 01:05:41,230 --> 01:05:43,608 [phone ringing] 816 01:05:48,321 --> 01:05:49,739 Hello. Logan residence. 817 01:05:50,031 --> 01:05:53,326 Evil Bill S. Preston, Esquire, speaking. 818 01:05:55,912 --> 01:05:59,248 - It's them! They're back from the dead. - Oh. 819 01:05:59,498 --> 01:06:01,667 I guess we get to kill them again. 820 01:06:01,959 --> 01:06:03,127 Excellent! 821 01:06:19,060 --> 01:06:21,437 See you real soon. 822 01:06:22,813 --> 01:06:24,023 Oh yeah? 823 01:06:24,815 --> 01:06:28,527 - Yeah, but this time we're ready for you! - Yeah! 824 01:06:32,239 --> 01:06:34,659 I think we can be ready for them, too. 825 01:06:34,951 --> 01:06:37,954 Good luck getting to the concert, losers! 826 01:06:41,791 --> 01:06:43,042 [electronic beeping] 827 01:06:44,627 --> 01:06:48,255 - Initiate the final plan, now! - You got it, great one. 828 01:06:49,924 --> 01:06:52,343 Do not fail me. 829 01:06:53,386 --> 01:06:54,929 Metallic buffoons. 830 01:07:01,018 --> 01:07:04,188 - That other me is a dick. - Yeah. 831 01:07:06,315 --> 01:07:08,067 I hope the Stations know what they're doing. 832 01:07:08,275 --> 01:07:09,568 Huh? 833 01:07:28,754 --> 01:07:31,173 Station! What are you doing? 834 01:07:33,384 --> 01:07:37,138 Dudes! This is no time to be playing games! 835 01:07:39,056 --> 01:07:41,600 [yelling] [electricity crackling] 836 01:08:11,964 --> 01:08:14,675 Station. 837 01:08:15,634 --> 01:08:16,927 - Station! - Station! 838 01:08:22,183 --> 01:08:24,018 [guitar noodling] 839 01:08:24,977 --> 01:08:28,147 ♪ [Winger's "Battle Stations" playing] ♪ 840 01:09:54,358 --> 01:09:55,568 Whoa! 841 01:09:57,278 --> 01:09:58,904 That one's me, right? 842 01:09:59,071 --> 01:10:00,739 Station. 843 01:10:02,575 --> 01:10:04,368 Not bad. 844 01:10:04,660 --> 01:10:07,204 How's it going, Good Robot Bill? 845 01:10:08,080 --> 01:10:09,874 How's it doing? 846 01:10:21,886 --> 01:10:24,430 Kate Axelrod for KJM Channel 12... 847 01:10:24,638 --> 01:10:27,808 ...reporting live from the San Dimas Civic Auditorium. 848 01:10:28,058 --> 01:10:31,187 We're rocking at the 4th Annual Battle of the Bands. 849 01:10:31,437 --> 01:10:34,815 So stay tuned and hold tight until we find out... 850 01:10:35,107 --> 01:10:38,277 ...who will be your winner. 851 01:10:38,569 --> 01:10:42,198 ♪ [Primus' "Tommy The Cat" playing] ♪ 852 01:10:48,370 --> 01:10:49,747 You guys ready? You're up. 853 01:10:49,997 --> 01:10:51,332 Where are the girls? 854 01:10:51,540 --> 01:10:55,878 - Oh, they're hanging from the rafters. - Yeah, we're gonna kill them at the finale. 855 01:10:56,795 --> 01:10:58,756 Good luck, gentlemen. 856 01:11:04,762 --> 01:11:06,931 Bill, check it out. 857 01:11:07,514 --> 01:11:08,849 Whoa! 858 01:11:09,058 --> 01:11:10,434 Not bad. 859 01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:17,942 [guitar noise] 860 01:11:21,946 --> 01:11:24,114 ♪ [Primus' "Tommy The Cat" playing] ♪ 861 01:11:31,956 --> 01:11:35,626 [audience cheering] 862 01:11:36,085 --> 01:11:39,588 Let's hear it for Primus! Yeah! 863 01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:19,628 - Station, are they ready? - Station. 864 01:12:19,878 --> 01:12:21,714 Excellent work, dude. 865 01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:25,926 - What about me? I made the wigs. - Okay, Death. 866 01:12:26,218 --> 01:12:29,637 I helped do the shopping. I was pushing the cart. 867 01:12:29,638 --> 01:12:32,933 - Do these work like we asked? - Station. 868 01:12:34,351 --> 01:12:35,519 Whoa! 869 01:12:36,437 --> 01:12:39,481 You are a most excellent scientist, Station. 870 01:12:40,232 --> 01:12:43,777 Plus, you got an excellently huge Martian butt. 871 01:12:44,403 --> 01:12:45,988 Station! 872 01:12:46,196 --> 01:12:47,990 [guitar noodling] 873 01:12:49,366 --> 01:12:52,870 Please feel free to split in two parts again and relax. 874 01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:57,374 Don't overlook my butt. I work out all the time. 875 01:12:57,624 --> 01:13:00,627 And reaping burns a lot of calories. 876 01:13:03,756 --> 01:13:10,095 OK, you two dudes ready to take on those evil usses and save the babes? 877 01:13:11,847 --> 01:13:15,768 Fight evil usses. Save the babes. 878 01:13:16,018 --> 01:13:18,729 - Ready, Bill? - Ready, Ted. 879 01:13:20,064 --> 01:13:21,899 Let's go get 'em. 880 01:13:22,149 --> 01:13:24,860 And now, the last band of the evening. 881 01:13:25,110 --> 01:13:27,863 Wyld Stallyns! 882 01:13:28,030 --> 01:13:29,865 [audience clapping] 883 01:13:38,540 --> 01:13:40,876 How's it going, worms? 884 01:13:41,418 --> 01:13:44,088 I'm Bill S. Preston, Esquire! 885 01:13:44,380 --> 01:13:46,965 And I'm Ted "Theodore" Logan! 886 01:13:47,257 --> 01:13:51,929 Together, we are Wyld Stallyns! 887 01:13:53,555 --> 01:13:55,641 Hold it right there! 888 01:13:58,769 --> 01:14:01,021 We're Wyld Stallyns! 889 01:14:01,313 --> 01:14:05,150 No, dudes. We're Wyld Stallyns! 890 01:14:05,317 --> 01:14:07,111 [audience cheering] 891 01:14:07,820 --> 01:14:11,865 You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweeds! 892 01:14:12,157 --> 01:14:14,660 Yeah, and we're fully gonna do it again! 893 01:14:14,910 --> 01:14:18,705 Plus, we're gonna totally kill your girlfriends, too. 894 01:14:20,124 --> 01:14:21,041 [ropes snapping] 895 01:14:26,839 --> 01:14:30,217 Don't worry, babes! We'll save you. 896 01:14:32,928 --> 01:14:36,432 Everybody, say hello to Station's creation! 897 01:14:36,765 --> 01:14:39,685 Good Robot Bill and Ted! 898 01:14:45,065 --> 01:14:46,775 [audience clapping] 899 01:14:52,239 --> 01:14:55,159 Dude, we may have met our match. 900 01:14:55,576 --> 01:14:58,579 Kudos to you, good human usses. 901 01:15:00,497 --> 01:15:04,877 - Catch you later, Bill and Ted! - Catch you later, Bill and Ted! 902 01:15:09,756 --> 01:15:11,175 [Death laughing] 903 01:15:14,887 --> 01:15:16,722 [explosion] 904 01:15:17,806 --> 01:15:21,351 [crowd cheering] 905 01:15:28,442 --> 01:15:30,694 [metallic clunks] Whoa! 906 01:15:30,903 --> 01:15:32,696 [Death laughing] 907 01:15:41,330 --> 01:15:43,499 - Elizabeth! - Theodore! 908 01:15:44,082 --> 01:15:46,877 - Joanna! - William! 909 01:15:49,421 --> 01:15:51,715 [crowd cheering] 910 01:15:51,924 --> 01:15:53,717 [electricity crackling] 911 01:15:59,973 --> 01:16:01,725 Who is that? 912 01:16:19,409 --> 01:16:20,410 Who are you? 913 01:16:21,620 --> 01:16:22,829 Who am I? 914 01:16:30,254 --> 01:16:32,923 I am De Nomolos. 915 01:16:34,007 --> 01:16:35,926 I am their master. 916 01:16:37,553 --> 01:16:40,931 And I must see to it that you die. 917 01:16:42,349 --> 01:16:43,141 What? 918 01:16:43,725 --> 01:16:45,394 But first... 919 01:16:45,936 --> 01:16:49,690 [electricity crackling] 920 01:16:51,400 --> 01:16:55,028 [electricity crackling] 921 01:16:58,740 --> 01:17:00,075 [speaking Italian] 922 01:17:10,794 --> 01:17:15,841 We are now transmitting on every television channel throughout the world. 923 01:17:16,383 --> 01:17:18,218 My word! 924 01:17:18,427 --> 01:17:20,220 [speaking Russian] 925 01:17:22,806 --> 01:17:25,976 I want the whole universe to behold this... 926 01:17:26,226 --> 01:17:28,478 ...transfer of power. 927 01:17:30,314 --> 01:17:33,358 No longer will our future society... 928 01:17:33,609 --> 01:17:36,737 ...be based on the ideas and the music... 929 01:17:36,987 --> 01:17:38,780 ...of these two fools! 930 01:17:42,075 --> 01:17:45,037 They will be based on my ideas... 931 01:17:46,997 --> 01:17:49,416 ...and my ideas alone! 932 01:17:50,834 --> 01:17:53,587 Dude, how do we get out of this? We don't got any time. 933 01:17:53,795 --> 01:17:57,424 Yeah we do, dude. Look, after we get away from this guy, we use the booth... 934 01:17:57,633 --> 01:18:02,054 ...we time-travel back to before the concert and set up the things we need to get him now. 935 01:18:02,262 --> 01:18:04,306 Whoa, yeah, like what? 936 01:18:04,514 --> 01:18:07,434 Like, uh... like a sandbag. 937 01:18:10,646 --> 01:18:11,313 [rope snapping] 938 01:18:13,690 --> 01:18:15,025 Excellent! 939 01:18:15,233 --> 01:18:16,151 Then we'll get a cage. 940 01:18:16,360 --> 01:18:16,943 [rope snapping] 941 01:18:19,905 --> 01:18:20,614 [metallic crash] 942 01:18:20,822 --> 01:18:22,616 [crowd applauding] 943 01:18:24,868 --> 01:18:26,370 My friends. 944 01:18:27,079 --> 01:18:29,456 I, too, can play the time game. 945 01:18:29,706 --> 01:18:32,918 If you do that, once I have vanquished you... 946 01:18:33,210 --> 01:18:37,255 ...I will go back and set up this key. 947 01:18:41,009 --> 01:18:41,927 [click] 948 01:18:47,766 --> 01:18:50,435 And another gun. 949 01:18:57,526 --> 01:18:58,443 [click] 950 01:19:00,278 --> 01:19:03,365 Right, dude. Only there's one thing you didn't think of. 951 01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:06,952 Yeah. Only the winners are gonna be able to go back and set things up. 952 01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:09,788 Yeah. And that's gonna be us, dude. 953 01:19:09,996 --> 01:19:12,916 We set up the key, and we set up the gun. 954 01:19:13,083 --> 01:19:16,044 [crowd cheering] 955 01:19:16,628 --> 01:19:18,547 Excuse me. 956 01:19:18,797 --> 01:19:21,341 - Your shoelaces are untied. - What? 957 01:19:27,556 --> 01:19:29,808 [laughing] Melvined. 958 01:19:30,767 --> 01:19:33,854 [guitar noodling] 959 01:19:43,822 --> 01:19:45,365 You're under arrest, pal. 960 01:19:45,532 --> 01:19:47,284 Way to go, Dad! 961 01:19:52,080 --> 01:19:53,915 Book him, Danno. 962 01:19:57,627 --> 01:19:59,671 [guitar noodling] 963 01:20:00,964 --> 01:20:02,591 Good job, Death. 964 01:20:07,888 --> 01:20:09,556 Who was that guy? 965 01:20:09,806 --> 01:20:12,934 Perhaps I can answer that question, gentlemen. 966 01:20:13,268 --> 01:20:15,312 Ms. Wardroe, thanks for the help. 967 01:20:15,520 --> 01:20:18,190 Yeah. You know, we definitely... 968 01:20:18,982 --> 01:20:20,984 Take it off, baby! 969 01:20:29,534 --> 01:20:31,036 Rufus! 970 01:20:31,244 --> 01:20:32,496 How long you been here, dude? 971 01:20:32,954 --> 01:20:35,081 Got here just in time for your audition, William. 972 01:20:35,457 --> 01:20:38,752 So you were Ms. Wardroe all along. 973 01:20:38,960 --> 01:20:42,631 Hey. Would anyone else have let you in this contest? 974 01:20:43,423 --> 01:20:44,591 [all:] No. 975 01:20:45,133 --> 01:20:49,888 Now, amigos, that was Mr. Chuck De Nomolos, my old gym teacher. 976 01:20:50,138 --> 01:20:54,601 And, by the way, sit-up champion of the 27th century. 977 01:20:54,810 --> 01:20:59,356 And now, gentlemen, I believe the stage belongs to you. 978 01:20:59,523 --> 01:21:00,899 Thanks, Rufus. 979 01:21:14,079 --> 01:21:16,623 Dude, we still don't know how to play. 980 01:21:17,165 --> 01:21:19,292 Maybe we ought to get good, Ted. 981 01:21:19,584 --> 01:21:20,752 How? 982 01:21:25,966 --> 01:21:27,843 [buttons pressing] 983 01:21:43,066 --> 01:21:46,903 That was a fast 16 months of intensive guitar training, dude. 984 01:21:47,070 --> 01:21:51,616 Yeah, except for that two-week medieval honeymoon. 985 01:21:53,660 --> 01:21:56,037 Hello, San Dimas! 986 01:21:56,246 --> 01:21:57,163 Hello! 987 01:21:57,372 --> 01:21:59,666 Want to introduce you to a little friend of mine. 988 01:22:00,000 --> 01:22:01,626 This is little Ted. 989 01:22:02,252 --> 01:22:04,588 Hello, little Ted! 990 01:22:04,838 --> 01:22:06,715 This is little Bill. 991 01:22:06,923 --> 01:22:08,717 Hello, little Bill! 992 01:22:10,260 --> 01:22:14,639 Now for the rest of our band. Ted? 993 01:22:16,683 --> 01:22:21,438 On conga and bongos, proof positive that you can't tell a book by its cover... 994 01:22:21,730 --> 01:22:24,357 ...the dude who can make one word mean anything... 995 01:22:24,649 --> 01:22:26,526 ...Station! 996 01:22:31,656 --> 01:22:33,158 Our backup dancers... 997 01:22:33,408 --> 01:22:36,077 ...Station's most bodacious creations... 998 01:22:36,286 --> 01:22:38,997 ...the Good Robot Usses! 999 01:22:45,420 --> 01:22:46,546 And over here... 1000 01:22:46,838 --> 01:22:49,716 ...our bass player, the Duke of Spooks... 1001 01:22:50,008 --> 01:22:52,677 ...the Doc of Shocks, the Man With No Tan... 1002 01:22:52,928 --> 01:22:55,764 ...please say hello to Death himself... 1003 01:22:56,056 --> 01:22:58,058 ...the Grim Reaper! 1004 01:22:59,935 --> 01:23:03,480 ♪ [Steve Vai feat. William Sadler's "Meet The Reaper" playing] ♪ 1005 01:23:05,649 --> 01:23:08,276 You might be a king Or a little street sweeper 1006 01:23:08,485 --> 01:23:11,863 But sooner or later You dance with the Reaper 1007 01:23:16,785 --> 01:23:19,329 Get down with your bad self! 1008 01:23:25,919 --> 01:23:29,589 I love show business. [laughs] 1009 01:23:29,798 --> 01:23:31,591 Ladies and gentlemen... 1010 01:23:32,258 --> 01:23:34,302 ...we've been to the past. 1011 01:23:34,678 --> 01:23:36,513 We've been to the future. 1012 01:23:36,930 --> 01:23:39,307 We've been all around the afterlife. 1013 01:23:39,933 --> 01:23:42,727 And you know... Ted? 1014 01:23:43,478 --> 01:23:45,438 The best place to be... 1015 01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:49,776 ...is here. 1016 01:23:50,819 --> 01:23:52,737 And the best time to be... 1017 01:23:53,279 --> 01:23:54,698 ...is now. 1018 01:24:00,578 --> 01:24:03,206 And all's we can say is... 1019 01:24:05,208 --> 01:24:06,418 ...let's rock! 1020 01:24:07,669 --> 01:24:09,212 One! Two! 1021 01:24:09,462 --> 01:24:12,173 One, two, three, four! 1022 01:24:12,382 --> 01:24:14,175 ♪ [Steve Vai's "Final Guitar Solo" playing] ♪ 1023 01:24:54,632 --> 01:24:58,428 ♪ [Kiss' "God Gave Rock 'N' Roll to You II" playing] ♪ 1024 01:25:36,633 --> 01:25:39,385 Right good! Right good! 1025 01:27:46,846 --> 01:27:47,805 [over radio] Stallyns One... 1026 01:27:47,972 --> 01:27:51,559 Stallyns One, you are clear to leave... 1027 01:27:52,227 --> 01:27:53,519 Drums... 1028 01:27:53,728 --> 01:27:55,521 - Ten... nine... - Keyboards... 1029 01:27:55,730 --> 01:27:56,981 - ...eight... - Affirmative. 1030 01:27:57,190 --> 01:27:59,275 Ignition sequence start. Engines on. 1031 01:27:59,484 --> 01:28:02,195 - ...five... four... three... two... - That's a check. 1032 01:28:02,403 --> 01:28:04,197 - ...one. - Good luck boys. 1033 01:28:11,996 --> 01:28:13,915 You are go, Stallyns One! 1034 01:28:14,958 --> 01:28:17,252 Come home soon. We'll miss you.