1 00:00:58,146 --> 00:00:59,773 Onward, Chauncey! 2 00:00:59,856 --> 00:01:02,651 To the highest room of the tallest tower 3 00:01:02,734 --> 00:01:07,823 where my princess awaits rescue from her handsome Prince Charming! 4 00:01:19,167 --> 00:01:23,005 This is worse than Love Letters. I hate dinner theater! 5 00:01:23,088 --> 00:01:24,339 Me, too. 6 00:01:26,174 --> 00:01:28,176 Whoa there, Chauncey! 7 00:01:29,511 --> 00:01:30,554 Hark! 8 00:01:30,637 --> 00:01:33,223 The brave Prince Charming approacheth. 9 00:01:33,307 --> 00:01:34,683 Fear not, fair maiden. 10 00:01:34,766 --> 00:01:37,227 I shall slay the monster that guards you, 11 00:01:37,311 --> 00:01:40,022 then take my place as rightful king. 12 00:01:40,772 --> 00:01:42,399 What did she say? 13 00:01:46,153 --> 00:01:47,404 It's Shrek! 14 00:01:47,487 --> 00:01:49,823 Whoo, Shrek, yeah! 15 00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:56,121 Prepare, foul beast to enter into a world of pain 16 00:01:56,204 --> 00:01:58,332 with which you are not familiar! 17 00:01:58,415 --> 00:02:01,043 Happy birthday to thee Happy birthday to thee 18 00:02:01,126 --> 00:02:03,128 Do you mind? 19 00:02:03,211 --> 00:02:05,756 Do you mind? Boring! 20 00:02:10,594 --> 00:02:12,929 Prepare, foul beast... 21 00:02:22,064 --> 00:02:24,775 Someday you'll be sorry. 22 00:02:24,858 --> 00:02:26,651 We already are! 23 00:02:52,427 --> 00:02:53,428 Mommy... 24 00:02:57,724 --> 00:03:00,435 You're right. I can't let this happen. 25 00:03:01,853 --> 00:03:03,105 I can't! 26 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:08,235 I am the rightful King of Far Far Away. 27 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:10,362 And I promise you this, Mother, 28 00:03:10,445 --> 00:03:13,031 I will restore dignity to my throne. 29 00:03:18,036 --> 00:03:19,287 And this time 30 00:03:19,579 --> 00:03:22,165 no one will stand in my way. 31 00:03:40,475 --> 00:03:41,935 Good morning. 32 00:03:43,061 --> 00:03:44,521 Good morning. 33 00:03:46,273 --> 00:03:47,566 Morning breath. 34 00:03:47,649 --> 00:03:50,277 know. Isn't it wonderful? 35 00:03:51,278 --> 00:03:53,780 Good morning, good morning 36 00:03:53,864 --> 00:03:56,032 The sun is shining through 37 00:03:56,116 --> 00:03:58,660 Good morning, good morning, to you 38 00:03:58,743 --> 00:04:00,871 And you! And you! 39 00:04:04,833 --> 00:04:06,710 They grow up so fast. 40 00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:08,378 Not fast enough. 41 00:04:10,672 --> 00:04:13,550 You'll be filling in for the King and Queen. 42 00:04:13,633 --> 00:04:16,678 Several functions require your attendance, sir. 43 00:04:16,761 --> 00:04:19,097 Great! Let's get started. 44 00:04:19,806 --> 00:04:22,851 Come on, lazybones. Time to get moving! 45 00:04:23,977 --> 00:04:26,104 You need to get a pair of jammies. 46 00:04:33,445 --> 00:04:36,948 I got some sleep and I needed it 47 00:04:37,032 --> 00:04:40,076 Not a lot, just a little bit 48 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,954 Someone's always trying to keep me from it 49 00:04:43,038 --> 00:04:46,374 It's a crying shame 50 00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:49,127 It's a royal pain in the neck 51 00:04:49,211 --> 00:04:50,879 I knight thee. 52 00:05:12,567 --> 00:05:15,487 If you're filling in for a king, you should look like one. 53 00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:18,406 Can somebody come in and work on Shrek? 54 00:05:20,951 --> 00:05:22,160 I will see what I can do. 55 00:05:43,682 --> 00:05:45,141 Yeah, wow. 56 00:05:46,601 --> 00:05:48,645 Is this really necessary? 57 00:05:49,396 --> 00:05:51,273 Quite necessary, Fiona. 58 00:05:51,356 --> 00:05:53,859 -I'm Shrek, you twit. -Whatever. 59 00:05:53,942 --> 00:05:57,863 This isn't a rehearsal, peoples. Let's see some hustle! 60 00:05:57,946 --> 00:06:00,073 Smiles, everyone! Smiles! 61 00:06:00,156 --> 00:06:03,076 I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. 62 00:06:03,159 --> 00:06:06,413 I'm sorry, but can you just try to grin and bear it? 63 00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:08,873 It's just until Dad gets better. 64 00:06:10,834 --> 00:06:12,085 Shrek? 65 00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:15,213 You look handsome. 66 00:06:15,922 --> 00:06:17,507 Come here, you. 67 00:06:31,438 --> 00:06:33,148 My butt is itching up a storm 68 00:06:33,231 --> 00:06:36,067 and I can't reach it in this monkey suit. 69 00:06:36,943 --> 00:06:40,071 Hey, you! Come here. What's your name? 70 00:06:40,155 --> 00:06:41,823 Fiddlesworth, sir. 71 00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:43,491 Perfect. 72 00:06:46,411 --> 00:06:48,622 Ladies and gentlemen... 73 00:06:48,705 --> 00:06:51,917 Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek! 74 00:06:57,213 --> 00:06:59,799 You've got it. A little to the left. 75 00:07:00,717 --> 00:07:02,677 That's it! That's good. 76 00:07:03,094 --> 00:07:06,598 Oh, yeah! Scratch that thing! You're on it. 77 00:07:06,681 --> 00:07:08,141 Shrek! 78 00:07:13,521 --> 00:07:15,774 -My eye! -What are you doing? 79 00:07:22,197 --> 00:07:23,365 Fiona! 80 00:07:25,992 --> 00:07:28,995 -Are you okay? -Yeah. I'm fine. 81 00:07:33,291 --> 00:07:35,126 Shrimp! My favourite! 82 00:07:45,845 --> 00:07:48,556 -That's it! We're leaving! -Calm down. 83 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:49,808 Calm down? 84 00:07:49,891 --> 00:07:53,478 Who do you think we're kidding? I am an ogre. 85 00:07:53,561 --> 00:07:57,190 I'm not cut out for this, Fiona, and I never will be. 86 00:08:01,403 --> 00:08:02,487 think that went well. 87 00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:03,780 Donkey! 88 00:08:04,239 --> 00:08:05,824 Come on, Shrek! 89 00:08:06,366 --> 00:08:09,327 Some people just don't understand boundaries. 90 00:08:18,878 --> 00:08:20,296 Just think. 91 00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:23,800 A couple more days and we'll be back home 92 00:08:23,883 --> 00:08:27,345 in our vermin-filled shack strewn with fungus 93 00:08:27,429 --> 00:08:29,764 and filled with the stench of mud and neglect. 94 00:08:29,848 --> 00:08:32,475 You had me at "vermin-filled." 95 00:08:33,435 --> 00:08:38,106 And maybe even the pitter-patter of little feet on the floor. 96 00:08:38,773 --> 00:08:41,484 That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning. 97 00:08:41,985 --> 00:08:43,194 No. 98 00:08:43,278 --> 00:08:47,198 What I'm thinking of is a little bigger than a swamp rat. 99 00:08:47,282 --> 00:08:49,033 -Donkey? -No, Shrek. 100 00:08:50,118 --> 00:08:52,203 What if, theoretically, 101 00:08:53,329 --> 00:08:55,457 they were little ogre feet? 102 00:09:01,629 --> 00:09:05,216 Honey, let's be rational about this. 103 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,677 Have you seen a baby lately? 104 00:09:07,761 --> 00:09:10,680 They just eat and poop, and they cry 105 00:09:10,764 --> 00:09:13,892 then they cry when they poop and poop when they cry. 106 00:09:13,975 --> 00:09:17,395 Now, imagine an ogre baby. 107 00:09:17,479 --> 00:09:20,690 They extra-cry and they extra-poop. 108 00:09:21,191 --> 00:09:24,819 Shrek, don't you ever think about having a family? 109 00:09:25,653 --> 00:09:28,698 Right now, you're my family. 110 00:09:32,494 --> 00:09:34,662 Somebody better be dying. 111 00:09:37,082 --> 00:09:38,792 I'm dying. 112 00:09:41,252 --> 00:09:42,504 Harold? 113 00:09:44,881 --> 00:09:47,926 Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian. 114 00:09:48,009 --> 00:09:49,844 Of course, darling. 115 00:09:51,805 --> 00:09:53,348 Fiona. 116 00:09:53,431 --> 00:09:54,474 Yes, Daddy? 117 00:09:54,557 --> 00:09:57,310 I know I made many mistakes with you. 118 00:09:58,436 --> 00:09:59,771 It's okay. 119 00:09:59,854 --> 00:10:02,190 But your love for Shrek has 120 00:10:02,982 --> 00:10:04,609 taught me much. 121 00:10:06,194 --> 00:10:07,779 My dear boy, 122 00:10:08,571 --> 00:10:11,449 I am proud to call you my son. 123 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:15,245 And I'm proud to call you my frog... 124 00:10:15,328 --> 00:10:17,122 King dad-in-law. 125 00:10:17,205 --> 00:10:22,377 Now there is a matter of business to attend to. 126 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:36,724 The Frog King is dead. 127 00:10:44,899 --> 00:10:46,693 Put your hat back on, fool. 128 00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:48,069 Shrek, 129 00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:50,655 please come hither. 130 00:10:54,409 --> 00:10:55,785 Yeah, Dad? 131 00:10:55,869 --> 00:10:58,997 This kingdom needs a new king. 132 00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:04,836 You and Fiona are next in line for the throne. 133 00:11:06,671 --> 00:11:08,256 Next in line. 134 00:11:08,339 --> 00:11:10,925 You see, Dad, that's why people love you. 135 00:11:11,009 --> 00:11:14,262 Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes. 136 00:11:18,308 --> 00:11:21,811 Come on, Dad. An ogre as king? 137 00:11:21,895 --> 00:11:24,397 That's not such a good idea. 138 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,733 There must be somebody else. 139 00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,234 Anybody! 140 00:11:28,318 --> 00:11:33,031 Aside from you, there is only one remaining heir. 141 00:11:33,698 --> 00:11:36,409 Really? Who is he, Dad? 142 00:11:36,492 --> 00:11:38,328 His name is... 143 00:11:39,913 --> 00:11:40,955 Is... 144 00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:42,665 What's his name? 145 00:11:43,166 --> 00:11:44,375 Is... 146 00:11:46,461 --> 00:11:47,629 Daddy! 147 00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,648 His name is Arthur. 148 00:12:07,106 --> 00:12:08,316 Arthur? 149 00:12:12,654 --> 00:12:17,700 I know you'll do what's right. 150 00:12:21,829 --> 00:12:22,956 Harold? 151 00:12:23,039 --> 00:12:24,874 Dad? Dad! 152 00:12:26,251 --> 00:12:27,502 Dad? 153 00:12:28,002 --> 00:12:29,837 Do your thing, man. 154 00:12:59,659 --> 00:13:03,621 When you were young and your heart 155 00:13:03,705 --> 00:13:05,915 Was an open book 156 00:13:07,959 --> 00:13:11,629 You used to say live and let live 157 00:13:12,130 --> 00:13:15,842 You know you did, you know you did You know you did 158 00:13:16,342 --> 00:13:22,015 But if this ever changing world In which we live in 159 00:13:22,098 --> 00:13:25,727 Makes you give in and cry 160 00:13:29,063 --> 00:13:31,232 Say live and let die 161 00:13:34,277 --> 00:13:35,945 Live and let die 162 00:14:13,149 --> 00:14:16,361 Hey, lady You, lady 163 00:14:17,361 --> 00:14:19,238 Cursing at your life 164 00:14:20,281 --> 00:14:22,950 You're a discontented mother 165 00:14:24,577 --> 00:14:27,246 And a regimented wife 166 00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:56,401 What does a prince have to do to get a drink here? 167 00:14:58,236 --> 00:14:59,445 Mabel! 168 00:14:59,529 --> 00:15:03,574 Why they call you an ugly stepsister, I'll never know. 169 00:15:04,867 --> 00:15:07,703 Where's Doris? Taking the night off? 170 00:15:07,787 --> 00:15:11,040 She's not welcome here, and neither are you. 171 00:15:13,543 --> 00:15:15,628 What do you want, Charming? 172 00:15:15,711 --> 00:15:19,048 Not much. Just a chance at redemption. 173 00:15:21,342 --> 00:15:22,844 And a Fuzzy Navel. 174 00:15:23,302 --> 00:15:26,055 And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends! 175 00:15:30,184 --> 00:15:32,186 We're not your friends. 176 00:15:34,355 --> 00:15:36,566 You don't belong here. 177 00:15:37,024 --> 00:15:40,611 You're absolutely right, but, I mean, do any of us? 178 00:15:40,695 --> 00:15:42,029 Do a number on his face. 179 00:15:42,113 --> 00:15:43,823 Wait, wait, wait! 180 00:15:44,407 --> 00:15:47,118 We are more alike than you think. 181 00:15:47,201 --> 00:15:48,202 Wicked Witch! 182 00:15:48,286 --> 00:15:51,164 The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White, and what happened? 183 00:15:51,247 --> 00:15:52,290 Oh, what's it to you? 184 00:15:52,373 --> 00:15:54,917 They left you the unfairest of them all. 185 00:15:55,001 --> 00:15:56,419 Now here you are, 186 00:15:56,502 --> 00:15:59,088 hustling pool to get your next meal. 187 00:15:59,881 --> 00:16:01,716 How does that feel? 188 00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:08,723 Pretty unfair. 189 00:16:08,806 --> 00:16:10,224 And you! 190 00:16:10,308 --> 00:16:14,395 Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father. 191 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,983 I hate that little wooden puppet. 192 00:16:19,066 --> 00:16:20,401 And Hook. 193 00:16:20,943 --> 00:16:22,612 Need I say more? 194 00:16:25,740 --> 00:16:28,743 -And you, Frumpypigskin! -Rumpelstiltskin. 195 00:16:28,826 --> 00:16:31,621 Where's that firstborn you were promised? 196 00:16:33,873 --> 00:16:34,874 Mabel. 197 00:16:34,957 --> 00:16:37,710 Remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot 198 00:16:37,793 --> 00:16:40,087 into that tiny glass slipper? 199 00:16:42,089 --> 00:16:46,010 Cinderella is in Far Far Away right now, 200 00:16:46,093 --> 00:16:47,470 eating bonbons, 201 00:16:47,553 --> 00:16:50,932 cavorting with every last fairy tale creature 202 00:16:51,015 --> 00:16:53,267 that has ever done you wrong! 203 00:16:54,018 --> 00:16:58,814 Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. 204 00:16:59,398 --> 00:17:02,026 But there are two sides to every story 205 00:17:02,109 --> 00:17:04,779 and our side has not been told! 206 00:17:04,862 --> 00:17:07,031 So who will join me? 207 00:17:07,114 --> 00:17:09,992 Who wants to come out on top for once? 208 00:17:10,076 --> 00:17:14,372 Who wants their "happily ever after"? 209 00:17:31,973 --> 00:17:33,641 This way, gents. 210 00:17:45,152 --> 00:17:47,405 It's out of my hands, sefiorita. 211 00:17:47,488 --> 00:17:50,116 The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. 212 00:17:50,199 --> 00:17:54,245 But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. 213 00:17:54,328 --> 00:17:56,205 As are you. 214 00:17:56,622 --> 00:17:58,165 And, you. 215 00:17:59,917 --> 00:18:02,503 I don't know you, but I'd like to. 216 00:18:03,462 --> 00:18:04,880 I got to go! 217 00:18:06,299 --> 00:18:08,217 I don't wanna leave you either. 218 00:18:08,301 --> 00:18:11,596 But you know how Shrek is. The dude's lost without me. 219 00:18:11,679 --> 00:18:15,308 But don't worry. I'll send you airmail kisses every day! 220 00:18:17,018 --> 00:18:18,978 Be strong, babies. 221 00:18:19,061 --> 00:18:21,605 Coco, Peanut, listen to your mama. 222 00:18:21,689 --> 00:18:25,234 Bananas, no roasting marshmallows on your sister's head. 223 00:18:26,569 --> 00:18:28,195 That's my special boy! 224 00:18:28,279 --> 00:18:31,532 Come here, all of you! Give your daddy a big hug! 225 00:18:37,955 --> 00:18:39,290 Shrek? 226 00:18:40,291 --> 00:18:44,295 Maybe you should just stay and be King. 227 00:18:44,378 --> 00:18:48,424 Come on. There's no way I could run a kingdom. 228 00:18:48,507 --> 00:18:51,135 That's why your cousin Arthur is a perfect choice. 229 00:18:51,218 --> 00:18:54,388 It's not that. You see... 230 00:18:54,472 --> 00:18:58,809 And if he gives me trouble, I always have persuasion and reason. 231 00:18:58,893 --> 00:19:01,812 Here's persuasion and here's reason. 232 00:19:04,607 --> 00:19:05,941 Fiona, 233 00:19:06,025 --> 00:19:09,028 soon it's just going to be you, me 234 00:19:09,612 --> 00:19:11,155 and our swamp. 235 00:19:13,074 --> 00:19:15,743 It's not going to be just you and me. 236 00:19:16,619 --> 00:19:18,871 All aboard! 237 00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:22,792 It will be. I promise. 238 00:19:23,918 --> 00:19:25,419 I love you. 239 00:19:32,259 --> 00:19:34,929 -That's lovely. -Bye-bye, babies! 240 00:19:43,062 --> 00:19:44,271 Shrek! 241 00:19:45,272 --> 00:19:47,149 -Wait! -What is it? 242 00:19:47,733 --> 00:19:49,443 I'm... I'm... 243 00:19:53,197 --> 00:19:55,533 I love you, too, honey! 244 00:19:55,616 --> 00:19:57,952 No! I said I'm... 245 00:20:01,205 --> 00:20:02,456 You're what? 246 00:20:02,540 --> 00:20:04,959 I said I'm pregnant! 247 00:20:09,296 --> 00:20:10,714 What was that? 248 00:20:10,798 --> 00:20:13,884 You're going to be a father! 249 00:20:15,803 --> 00:20:17,304 That's great! 250 00:20:17,722 --> 00:20:20,808 Really? I'm glad you think so! 251 00:20:21,142 --> 00:20:22,810 I love you! 252 00:20:22,893 --> 00:20:24,019 Yeah! 253 00:20:24,729 --> 00:20:27,064 Me, too! You! 254 00:20:30,651 --> 00:20:34,155 I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle! 255 00:20:34,655 --> 00:20:37,491 And you, my friend, are royally... 256 00:21:16,614 --> 00:21:17,740 Home. 257 00:21:29,710 --> 00:21:30,961 Shrek! 258 00:21:33,464 --> 00:21:34,673 Fiona! 259 00:21:38,719 --> 00:21:39,929 Fiona? 260 00:21:59,406 --> 00:22:00,616 Oh, no. 261 00:22:04,036 --> 00:22:06,455 Better out than in, I always say. 262 00:22:16,257 --> 00:22:18,008 No, no, no! 263 00:22:20,135 --> 00:22:22,721 It's okay. It's gonna be all right. 264 00:22:27,935 --> 00:22:29,895 Stop! Hey, wait! 265 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,863 Donkey. Donkey! 266 00:23:20,946 --> 00:23:22,156 Wake up! 267 00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:25,868 Dada! 268 00:23:28,329 --> 00:23:30,164 Shrek! Are you okay? 269 00:23:32,124 --> 00:23:35,169 I can't believe I'm going to be a father. 270 00:23:35,252 --> 00:23:37,421 How did this happen? 271 00:23:37,504 --> 00:23:39,089 Allow me to explain. 272 00:23:39,173 --> 00:23:42,134 When a man has feelings for a woman 273 00:23:42,217 --> 00:23:44,720 a powerful urge sweeps over him. 274 00:23:44,803 --> 00:23:46,805 I know how it happened. 275 00:23:48,265 --> 00:23:50,309 I just can't believe it. 276 00:23:53,187 --> 00:23:55,022 How does it happen? 277 00:24:01,862 --> 00:24:07,201 And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon 278 00:24:07,284 --> 00:24:09,870 Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon 279 00:24:09,954 --> 00:24:12,623 When you coming home, son ? I don't know when 280 00:24:12,706 --> 00:24:15,125 But we'll get together then, Dad 281 00:24:15,209 --> 00:24:17,378 Donkey! Can you just cut to the part 282 00:24:17,461 --> 00:24:20,589 where you're supposed to make me feel better? 283 00:24:20,673 --> 00:24:23,258 You know I love Fiona, boss. Right? 284 00:24:23,342 --> 00:24:27,221 What I am talking about is you, me, my cousin's boat, 285 00:24:27,304 --> 00:24:31,975 an ice cold pitcher of mojitos and two weeks of nothing but fishing. 286 00:24:32,976 --> 00:24:34,853 Don't listen to him! 287 00:24:35,229 --> 00:24:37,898 Having a baby isn't going to ruin your life. 288 00:24:37,982 --> 00:24:40,818 It's not my life I'm worried about ruining, 289 00:24:40,901 --> 00:24:42,653 it's the kid's. 290 00:24:42,736 --> 00:24:46,865 When have you ever heard the phrase "as sweet as an ogre" 291 00:24:46,949 --> 00:24:49,451 or "as nurturing as an ogre" 292 00:24:49,535 --> 00:24:54,164 or "You'll love my dad. He's a real ogre"? 293 00:24:54,248 --> 00:24:55,916 Okay. I get it. 294 00:24:55,999 --> 00:24:59,461 It's not going to be easy. But you got us to help you. 295 00:24:59,545 --> 00:25:00,963 "hat's true. 296 00:25:01,714 --> 00:25:03,215 I'm doomed. 297 00:25:03,298 --> 00:25:04,883 You'll be fine. 298 00:25:05,759 --> 00:25:07,386 You're finished. 299 00:25:10,597 --> 00:25:12,599 With your journey. 300 00:25:20,899 --> 00:25:23,485 "Wor-ces-ters-shiree"? 301 00:25:23,569 --> 00:25:25,237 Now that sounds fancy! 302 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:27,948 -It's Worcestershire. -Like the sauce? 303 00:25:28,782 --> 00:25:30,200 It's spicy! 304 00:25:33,871 --> 00:25:35,956 They must be expecting us. 305 00:25:41,879 --> 00:25:44,423 What in the shista-shire kind of place is this? 306 00:25:44,506 --> 00:25:48,594 Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty. 307 00:25:48,677 --> 00:25:50,929 -Must be a high school. -High school? 308 00:25:51,013 --> 00:25:52,723 -Ready? -Okay! 309 00:25:52,806 --> 00:25:55,476 Wherefore art thou headed, to the top? 310 00:25:55,559 --> 00:25:57,227 Yeah, we think so, we think so! 311 00:25:57,311 --> 00:25:59,813 And dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped? 312 00:25:59,897 --> 00:26:02,483 Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not! 313 00:26:07,654 --> 00:26:10,616 All right, Mr Percival, ease up on the reins. 314 00:26:14,828 --> 00:26:18,540 For lo, bro, don't burn all my frankincense and myrrh. 315 00:26:18,832 --> 00:26:22,086 I'm feeling nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies! 316 00:26:22,169 --> 00:26:24,296 How did you receive wedgies 317 00:26:24,379 --> 00:26:26,632 when you are clearly not the wearer of underpants? 318 00:26:26,715 --> 00:26:29,676 Let's just say some things are better left unsaid. 319 00:26:29,927 --> 00:26:34,348 So I was all like, "I'd rather get the black plague than go out with you." 320 00:26:34,431 --> 00:26:36,517 -Oh, totally. -Pardon me. 321 00:26:37,101 --> 00:26:39,436 -Totally ew-eth. -Yeah, totally. 322 00:26:41,021 --> 00:26:43,565 I just altered my character level to +3 superb-ability. 323 00:26:43,649 --> 00:26:46,527 Hi. We're looking for someone named... 324 00:26:46,610 --> 00:26:48,362 Who rolled a +9 dork spell 325 00:26:48,445 --> 00:26:51,198 and summoned the beast and his quadrupeds? 326 00:26:52,616 --> 00:26:54,451 I know you're busy not fitting in, 327 00:26:54,535 --> 00:26:57,663 but can you tell me where I can find Arthur? 328 00:26:57,746 --> 00:26:59,373 He's over there. 329 00:27:18,976 --> 00:27:23,397 There is no sweeter taste on thy tongue than victory! 330 00:27:25,899 --> 00:27:28,819 Strong, handsome, face of a leader. 331 00:27:28,902 --> 00:27:31,655 Does Arthur look like a king or what? 332 00:27:33,532 --> 00:27:34,867 Sorry. 333 00:27:35,492 --> 00:27:37,870 Did you say you were looking for Arthur? 334 00:27:37,953 --> 00:27:40,205 That information is on a need-to-know basis. 335 00:27:40,289 --> 00:27:41,915 It's top secret! 336 00:27:42,499 --> 00:27:45,627 Now, gentlemen, let's away. To the showers! 337 00:27:48,797 --> 00:27:52,092 Greetings, Your Majesty. This is your lucky day. 338 00:27:52,843 --> 00:27:54,761 What are you supposed to be? 339 00:27:54,845 --> 00:27:58,098 Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun or something? 340 00:27:59,558 --> 00:28:02,477 Giant mutant... You made a funny. 341 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:05,397 Unhand me, monster! 342 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,025 Stop squirming, Arthur. 343 00:28:08,108 --> 00:28:09,860 I'm not Arthur. 344 00:28:11,945 --> 00:28:14,281 am Lancelot. 345 00:28:14,656 --> 00:28:17,326 "hat dork over there is Arthur. 346 00:28:23,624 --> 00:28:25,542 This is, like, totally embarrassing, 347 00:28:25,626 --> 00:28:28,629 but Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. 348 00:28:28,712 --> 00:28:32,132 She thought perchance thou would ask her to the Homecoming Dance. 349 00:28:32,216 --> 00:28:33,967 -Excuse me? -Like, whatever. 350 00:28:34,051 --> 00:28:37,387 She's into college guys and mythical creatures. 351 00:28:40,641 --> 00:28:42,643 Oh, Arthur, 352 00:28:42,726 --> 00:28:46,021 come out, come out, wherever you are! 353 00:28:49,066 --> 00:28:51,151 You better run, you little punk no-goodniks! 354 00:28:51,234 --> 00:28:54,196 The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over! 355 00:29:01,536 --> 00:29:02,996 Hold it. 356 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,540 We're here for the mascot contest. 357 00:29:09,670 --> 00:29:12,923 We're here for the mascot contest, too. 358 00:29:13,006 --> 00:29:14,716 "his is a costume? 359 00:29:15,676 --> 00:29:17,970 Worked on it all night long. 360 00:29:19,054 --> 00:29:20,430 Looks pretty real to me. 361 00:29:20,514 --> 00:29:22,933 If he were real, could I do this? 362 00:29:24,977 --> 00:29:26,270 Or this? 363 00:29:27,729 --> 00:29:32,734 If it were real, that would have been agonisingly painful. 364 00:29:32,818 --> 00:29:35,821 -Now watch this! -That's quite enough, boys. 365 00:29:36,113 --> 00:29:39,700 Thank you to Professor Primbottom and his lecture 366 00:29:39,783 --> 00:29:41,660 on "just say nay." 367 00:29:42,369 --> 00:29:44,496 And now, without further ado, 368 00:29:44,579 --> 00:29:46,707 let's give a warm Worcestershire hoozah 369 00:29:46,790 --> 00:29:50,293 to the winner of our mascot contest, the... 370 00:29:51,712 --> 00:29:52,879 Ogre? 371 00:29:54,589 --> 00:29:56,675 That's right. I'm the new mascot. 372 00:29:56,758 --> 00:30:00,053 So let's really try and beat the other guys 373 00:30:00,137 --> 00:30:03,640 at whatever it is they're doing! 374 00:30:07,561 --> 00:30:10,230 "his is all a bit unorthodox... 375 00:30:11,398 --> 00:30:14,651 Where can I find Arthur Pendragon? 376 00:30:16,528 --> 00:30:17,988 Hey, wait... 377 00:30:22,409 --> 00:30:23,869 Classic. 378 00:30:23,952 --> 00:30:25,454 You should be ashamed of yourself! 379 00:30:25,537 --> 00:30:27,748 I didn't do it. They did. 380 00:30:33,253 --> 00:30:34,588 Please don't eat me. 381 00:30:34,671 --> 00:30:37,257 Eat him! Eat him! Eat him! 382 00:30:38,216 --> 00:30:40,385 I'm not here to eat him! 383 00:30:42,554 --> 00:30:45,057 Time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. 384 00:30:45,140 --> 00:30:47,684 You're the new King of Far Far Away. 385 00:30:47,768 --> 00:30:48,935 What? 386 00:30:50,604 --> 00:30:54,775 Artie a king? More like the Mayor of Loserville! 387 00:30:59,946 --> 00:31:01,156 Burn. 388 00:31:04,326 --> 00:31:05,452 Is this for real? 389 00:31:05,535 --> 00:31:09,873 Absolutely. Clean out your locker, kid. You have a kingdom to run. 390 00:31:09,956 --> 00:31:12,626 So, wait. I'm really the only heir? 391 00:31:14,127 --> 00:31:15,796 The one and only. 392 00:31:16,546 --> 00:31:18,507 Give me a second. 393 00:31:20,717 --> 00:31:22,427 My good people, 394 00:31:22,511 --> 00:31:25,097 there's a lesson here for all of us. 395 00:31:25,472 --> 00:31:29,768 Next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, stop and think, 396 00:31:29,851 --> 00:31:32,354 "Hey, maybe this guy has feelings. 397 00:31:33,105 --> 00:31:35,565 "Maybe I should cut him some slack. 398 00:31:35,649 --> 00:31:39,069 "'Cause maybe, just maybe, 399 00:31:39,152 --> 00:31:42,656 "this guy's gonna turn out to be, I don't know, a king? 400 00:31:43,323 --> 00:31:45,659 "Maybe his first royal decree 401 00:31:45,742 --> 00:31:47,869 "will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him." 402 00:31:47,953 --> 00:31:50,497 I'm looking at you, jousting team! 403 00:31:51,373 --> 00:31:52,666 And Guin? 404 00:31:53,333 --> 00:31:54,668 Oh, Guin. 405 00:31:55,293 --> 00:31:57,170 I've always loved you. 406 00:31:58,171 --> 00:32:01,258 Good friends, it breaks my heart, but 407 00:32:01,341 --> 00:32:04,428 enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world! 408 00:32:04,511 --> 00:32:06,304 Okay, let's not overdo it. 409 00:32:06,388 --> 00:32:10,058 I'm building my city, people, on rock 'n' roll! 410 00:32:10,142 --> 00:32:11,935 You just overdid it. 411 00:32:21,278 --> 00:32:22,696 Look at you! 412 00:32:23,071 --> 00:32:26,366 -You look darling. -Just precious. Look at her. 413 00:32:26,450 --> 00:32:29,411 Any cravings since you got pregnant? 414 00:32:29,494 --> 00:32:31,580 No. Not at all. 415 00:32:32,956 --> 00:32:34,958 Do you smell ham? 416 00:32:35,041 --> 00:32:37,586 It's present time! 417 00:32:39,212 --> 00:32:43,633 Fiona, please open mine first. It's the one in front. 418 00:32:44,301 --> 00:32:46,303 "Congratulations on your new mess..." 419 00:32:46,386 --> 00:32:48,388 Oh, mess maker! 420 00:32:48,471 --> 00:32:51,850 "Hopefully this helps. Love, Cinderella." 421 00:32:52,684 --> 00:32:54,769 -Look at that! -What is it? 422 00:32:56,354 --> 00:32:58,231 It's for the poopies. 423 00:32:58,940 --> 00:33:02,152 -Wait. Babies poop? -Everyone poops, Beauty. 424 00:33:02,235 --> 00:33:03,486 Fiona! 425 00:33:03,570 --> 00:33:06,573 We all chipped in for a little present, too. 426 00:33:07,282 --> 00:33:08,658 Ta-da! 427 00:33:09,701 --> 00:33:12,829 You know the baby will love it, because I do! 428 00:33:12,913 --> 00:33:15,540 Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you. 429 00:33:16,333 --> 00:33:17,375 Who's this one from? 430 00:33:17,459 --> 00:33:20,003 I got you the biggest one, because I love you most. 431 00:33:20,086 --> 00:33:23,381 "Have one on me. Love, Snow White." 432 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:28,511 What is it? 433 00:33:28,595 --> 00:33:31,306 -He's a live-in babysitter. -Where's the baby? 434 00:33:31,389 --> 00:33:35,518 You're too kind, Snow, but I can't accept this. 435 00:33:35,602 --> 00:33:37,729 It's nothing. I have six more at home. 436 00:33:37,812 --> 00:33:39,648 -What does he do? -Cleaning. 437 00:33:39,731 --> 00:33:41,525 -Feed -Burp 438 00:33:41,608 --> 00:33:43,818 So, what are Shrek and I supposed to do? 439 00:33:43,902 --> 00:33:46,404 Work on your marriage. 440 00:33:47,781 --> 00:33:50,992 Thanks, Rapunzel. What's that supposed to mean? 441 00:33:51,076 --> 00:33:54,371 Come on now, Fiona. You know what happens. 442 00:33:55,664 --> 00:33:57,666 You're tired all the time. 443 00:33:57,749 --> 00:33:59,376 You start letting yourself go. 444 00:33:59,459 --> 00:34:00,710 Stretch marks. 445 00:34:00,794 --> 00:34:02,712 Say goodbye to romance. 446 00:34:04,464 --> 00:34:07,884 I'm sorry, but how many of you have kids? 447 00:34:08,551 --> 00:34:09,636 She's right! 448 00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:14,307 A baby will only strengthen the love Shrek and Fiona have. 449 00:34:14,391 --> 00:34:17,143 How did Shrek react when you told him? 450 00:34:17,227 --> 00:34:21,606 When he first found out, Shrek said... 451 00:34:34,411 --> 00:34:36,413 Onward, my new friends! 452 00:34:36,496 --> 00:34:38,665 To our happily ever afters! 453 00:34:44,504 --> 00:34:46,673 Now, bombs away! 454 00:35:03,064 --> 00:35:06,067 Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan. 455 00:35:06,151 --> 00:35:08,820 -His name's not Peter. -Shut it, Wendy. 456 00:35:27,213 --> 00:35:30,383 Enough pillaging! To the castle! 457 00:35:49,069 --> 00:35:50,779 You go! Take care of the baby! 458 00:35:50,862 --> 00:35:53,823 Everybody stay calm! We're going to die! 459 00:35:58,453 --> 00:36:00,288 Everyone in! Now! 460 00:36:00,372 --> 00:36:02,707 Come on! Put some back into it! 461 00:36:05,794 --> 00:36:07,754 We don't have time. Now go! 462 00:36:07,837 --> 00:36:09,464 Quickly, ladies! 463 00:36:11,466 --> 00:36:14,177 We'll hold them off as long as we can! 464 00:36:29,025 --> 00:36:31,695 Where are Shrek and Fiona? 465 00:36:31,778 --> 00:36:34,781 -The name doesn't ring a bell. -No bell. 466 00:36:35,740 --> 00:36:38,993 I suggest you freaks cooperate 467 00:36:39,077 --> 00:36:41,663 with the new King of Far Far Away! 468 00:36:41,746 --> 00:36:46,209 The only thing you're ever gonna be king of is King of the Stupids! 469 00:36:46,292 --> 00:36:47,836 -Hook! -Right! 470 00:36:48,378 --> 00:36:50,630 Avast, ye cookie. 471 00:36:53,258 --> 00:36:54,801 Start talking. 472 00:36:59,055 --> 00:37:00,390 -Gingy! -Papa! 473 00:37:00,473 --> 00:37:01,808 Settle down now. 474 00:37:15,822 --> 00:37:19,200 On the good ship Lollipop 475 00:37:19,284 --> 00:37:22,829 It's a sweet trip to the candy shop 476 00:37:22,912 --> 00:37:24,080 You! 477 00:37:25,123 --> 00:37:26,666 You can't lie. 478 00:37:27,167 --> 00:37:31,171 So tell me, puppet, where is Shrek? 479 00:37:34,007 --> 00:37:37,010 Well, I don't know where he's not. 480 00:37:37,093 --> 00:37:39,304 You don't know where Shrek is? 481 00:37:39,387 --> 00:37:41,598 It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume 482 00:37:41,681 --> 00:37:46,603 that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost partially incorrect. 483 00:37:46,686 --> 00:37:48,104 So you do know where he is! 484 00:37:48,188 --> 00:37:50,940 On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less 485 00:37:51,024 --> 00:37:53,193 not definitely rejecting the idea 486 00:37:53,276 --> 00:37:57,113 that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty... 487 00:37:57,197 --> 00:38:00,617 -Stop it! -I do not know where he shouldn't be. 488 00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:02,911 If that indeed wasn't where he isn't. 489 00:38:02,994 --> 00:38:06,831 Even if he wasn't not where I knew he was, it could mean... 490 00:38:06,915 --> 00:38:09,542 On the good ship Lollipop 491 00:38:09,626 --> 00:38:11,002 Enough! 492 00:38:11,085 --> 00:38:13,963 Shrek went off to bring back the next heir! 493 00:38:17,091 --> 00:38:18,718 He's bringing back the next heir? 494 00:38:18,801 --> 00:38:19,886 No! 495 00:38:21,387 --> 00:38:24,641 Hook! Get rid of this new "King." 496 00:38:24,724 --> 00:38:26,643 But bring Shrek to me. 497 00:38:26,726 --> 00:38:29,604 I have something special in mind for him. 498 00:38:29,687 --> 00:38:32,148 He'll never fall for your tricks! 499 00:38:33,691 --> 00:38:34,984 Oh, boy. 500 00:38:45,286 --> 00:38:47,705 I can't believe it. Me, a king? 501 00:38:48,414 --> 00:38:51,668 I knew I came from royalty, but 502 00:38:51,751 --> 00:38:54,003 I figured everyone forgot about me. 503 00:38:54,087 --> 00:38:57,590 Oh, no. In fact the King asked for you personally. 504 00:38:58,216 --> 00:39:00,260 Really? Wow. 505 00:39:01,594 --> 00:39:04,222 But I know it's not all fun and games. 506 00:39:04,305 --> 00:39:06,933 It really is all fun and games, actually. 507 00:39:07,016 --> 00:39:10,854 Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two. 508 00:39:10,937 --> 00:39:15,191 By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the bottle. 509 00:39:15,275 --> 00:39:18,152 Any idiot can hit a boat with a bottle. 510 00:39:19,195 --> 00:39:22,365 Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks. 511 00:39:22,448 --> 00:39:24,033 This is going to be huge. 512 00:39:24,117 --> 00:39:28,204 Parties, princesses, castles. 513 00:39:28,288 --> 00:39:29,664 Princesses. 514 00:39:30,790 --> 00:39:32,166 You'll be living in the lap of luxury. 515 00:39:32,250 --> 00:39:34,711 The finest chefs will wait for your order. 516 00:39:34,794 --> 00:39:38,131 And fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters. 517 00:39:38,214 --> 00:39:39,382 What do they do? 518 00:39:39,465 --> 00:39:44,137 Taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not poisoned. 519 00:39:44,637 --> 00:39:46,764 -Poisoned? -Or too salty. 520 00:39:46,848 --> 00:39:50,310 Don't worry. Your bodyguards will keep you safe. 521 00:39:50,393 --> 00:39:53,062 -Bodyguards? -All of them willing at a moment's notice 522 00:39:53,146 --> 00:39:56,149 to lay down their lives out of devotion to you. 523 00:39:56,232 --> 00:39:57,483 Really? 524 00:39:57,567 --> 00:40:01,404 The whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance. 525 00:40:01,487 --> 00:40:03,114 Make sure they don't die of famine! 526 00:40:03,197 --> 00:40:04,907 -Or plague. -Plague is bad. 527 00:40:04,991 --> 00:40:08,328 The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores. 528 00:40:09,579 --> 00:40:11,247 Festering sores! 529 00:40:11,873 --> 00:40:14,167 You are one funny kitty cat. 530 00:40:14,667 --> 00:40:15,627 What did I say? 531 00:40:15,710 --> 00:40:18,671 We don't want Artie getting the wrong idea. 532 00:40:20,048 --> 00:40:21,215 Artie? 533 00:40:25,345 --> 00:40:29,015 -There goes my hip! -Artie! What are you doing? 534 00:40:30,725 --> 00:40:32,685 What does it look like? 535 00:40:35,563 --> 00:40:38,149 This really isn't up to you. 536 00:40:38,232 --> 00:40:41,361 I don't know anything about being king! 537 00:40:41,444 --> 00:40:43,529 You'll learn on the job! 538 00:40:45,031 --> 00:40:48,701 -Sorry, but I'm going back. -Back to what? 539 00:40:49,285 --> 00:40:50,828 Being a loser? 540 00:40:53,873 --> 00:40:57,502 -Now look what you did! -Look what I did? 541 00:40:57,585 --> 00:40:59,921 Who's holding the wheel, chief? 542 00:41:01,089 --> 00:41:02,382 Shrek! 543 00:41:14,727 --> 00:41:16,729 Land ho! 544 00:41:29,409 --> 00:41:31,077 How humiliating. 545 00:41:32,203 --> 00:41:34,747 Oh, nice going, Your Highness. 546 00:41:34,831 --> 00:41:38,501 Now it's "Your Highness"? What happened to "loser"? 547 00:41:39,085 --> 00:41:42,171 If you think this is getting you out of anything, it isn't. 548 00:41:42,255 --> 00:41:46,300 We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another. 549 00:41:46,384 --> 00:41:48,845 And you're going to be a father! 550 00:41:48,928 --> 00:41:50,179 What? 551 00:41:51,013 --> 00:41:52,974 You just said "father." 552 00:41:53,057 --> 00:41:55,309 King! You're going to be king! 553 00:41:55,393 --> 00:41:58,104 "You're going to be king!" Yeah, right. 554 00:41:59,689 --> 00:42:01,107 Where are you going? 555 00:42:01,190 --> 00:42:03,526 Far Far Away... from you! 556 00:42:03,609 --> 00:42:06,028 Get back here, young man! 557 00:42:07,780 --> 00:42:10,241 Boss? I don't think he's coming back. 558 00:42:10,324 --> 00:42:13,703 Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly king material. 559 00:42:13,786 --> 00:42:17,290 When did you plan to tell him you were supposed to be king? 560 00:42:17,373 --> 00:42:19,959 Come on. Why would I do that? 561 00:42:20,043 --> 00:42:23,296 Besides, he'll be ten times better at it than me. 562 00:42:24,464 --> 00:42:28,426 Then change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with him. 563 00:42:29,677 --> 00:42:31,512 You're right, Donkey. 564 00:42:33,765 --> 00:42:35,558 What about this? 565 00:42:35,641 --> 00:42:39,145 -Shrek! -Come on. It's just a joke. 566 00:42:41,022 --> 00:42:42,315 Still... 567 00:42:58,915 --> 00:43:00,458 Listen, Artie. 568 00:43:01,250 --> 00:43:06,339 If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. 569 00:43:06,422 --> 00:43:10,551 I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof. 570 00:43:10,635 --> 00:43:12,136 But what I am screamin' is, 571 00:43:12,220 --> 00:43:16,265 yo, check out this kazing thazing, bazaby! 572 00:43:16,349 --> 00:43:18,935 If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying 573 00:43:19,018 --> 00:43:21,604 ain't straight trippin', say, "Oh, no, you didn't! 574 00:43:21,687 --> 00:43:24,065 "You're getting on my last nerve." 575 00:43:24,148 --> 00:43:27,276 And then I'll know it's... I'll know it's wack! 576 00:43:28,986 --> 00:43:30,196 Help! 577 00:43:30,279 --> 00:43:32,949 I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me! 578 00:43:33,032 --> 00:43:36,869 -Artie, wait. -Come on! Help! Hello? 579 00:43:38,704 --> 00:43:42,291 Greetings, cosmic children of the universe. 580 00:43:42,375 --> 00:43:44,710 Welcome to my serenity circle. 581 00:43:44,794 --> 00:43:49,006 Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. 582 00:43:49,090 --> 00:43:51,133 Now prepare... 583 00:43:56,556 --> 00:43:59,392 I knew I should have got that warranty! 584 00:44:02,270 --> 00:44:03,688 Mr Merlin? 585 00:44:03,771 --> 00:44:05,189 You know this guy? 586 00:44:05,273 --> 00:44:06,315 Yeah. 587 00:44:06,399 --> 00:44:10,027 He was the school magic teacher, until he had his nervous breakdown. 588 00:44:10,111 --> 00:44:13,239 Technically, I was merely a victim of a level 3 fatigue. 589 00:44:13,322 --> 00:44:15,491 At the request of my therapist, 590 00:44:15,575 --> 00:44:19,287 and the school authorities, I retired to the tranquillity of nature 591 00:44:19,370 --> 00:44:21,664 to discover my divine purpose. 592 00:44:23,082 --> 00:44:26,502 Can I interest anyone in a snack or beverage? 593 00:44:26,586 --> 00:44:27,587 No. 594 00:44:27,670 --> 00:44:30,923 Sure you don't want to try my Rock Au Gratin? 595 00:44:34,093 --> 00:44:35,344 It's organic. 596 00:44:35,428 --> 00:44:38,097 Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in. 597 00:44:38,181 --> 00:44:41,100 We need directions to Far Far Away. 598 00:44:41,183 --> 00:44:43,519 "We"? Who said I was going with you? 599 00:44:43,603 --> 00:44:44,854 I did. 600 00:44:44,937 --> 00:44:48,232 People are counting on you, so don't try to weasel out of it. 601 00:44:48,316 --> 00:44:51,027 If the job's so great, you do it. 602 00:44:51,110 --> 00:44:55,364 Understand this, kid. No more Mr Nice Guy from here on out. 603 00:44:55,448 --> 00:44:57,325 That was your Mr Nice Guy? 604 00:44:57,408 --> 00:45:00,077 I know, and I'm going to miss him. 605 00:45:00,161 --> 00:45:04,081 Why don't you go terrorise a village and leave me alone! 606 00:45:04,165 --> 00:45:06,709 Was that a crack about ogres? 607 00:45:06,792 --> 00:45:08,836 You get your royal highness to Far Far Away 608 00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:10,379 before I kick it there! 609 00:45:10,463 --> 00:45:13,049 Now, which way am I kicking? 610 00:45:13,132 --> 00:45:15,760 I could tell you, but since you're in the midst 611 00:45:15,843 --> 00:45:18,095 of a self-destructive rage spiral, 612 00:45:18,179 --> 00:45:20,139 it would be karmically irresponsible. 613 00:45:20,222 --> 00:45:24,352 Self-destructive... Are you going to help us or not? 614 00:45:24,435 --> 00:45:27,188 Most definitely, but only after you 615 00:45:27,271 --> 00:45:30,566 take the journey to your soul! 616 00:45:30,650 --> 00:45:32,568 don't think so. 617 00:45:32,652 --> 00:45:35,988 It's either that or primal scream therapy. 618 00:45:37,907 --> 00:45:40,576 All right. Journey to the soul. 619 00:45:41,369 --> 00:45:45,831 Now, all of you, look into the Fire of Truth 620 00:45:45,915 --> 00:45:48,459 and tell me what you see. 621 00:45:52,004 --> 00:45:53,756 Ooh, charades! 622 00:45:53,839 --> 00:45:58,594 Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte with cinnamon swirls! 623 00:45:58,678 --> 00:46:00,846 Okay, monster, go for it. 624 00:46:10,189 --> 00:46:11,774 I see a rainbow pony. 625 00:46:11,857 --> 00:46:15,569 -Excellent work! Now the boy. -This is lame. 626 00:46:15,653 --> 00:46:18,072 You're lame! Just go for it. 627 00:46:19,490 --> 00:46:20,700 Okay. 628 00:46:21,617 --> 00:46:25,246 There's a baby bird and a father bird sitting in a nest. 629 00:46:25,871 --> 00:46:27,873 Yes! Stay with it! 630 00:46:29,166 --> 00:46:31,335 The dad just flew away. 631 00:46:31,419 --> 00:46:33,921 Why did he leave the little bird all alone? 632 00:46:34,005 --> 00:46:37,216 It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to. 633 00:46:38,217 --> 00:46:40,177 It's going to fall! 634 00:46:45,057 --> 00:46:48,811 Proper head case you are. Really messed up. 635 00:46:52,565 --> 00:46:56,652 Okay, I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. 636 00:46:56,736 --> 00:46:58,070 So what? 637 00:47:09,498 --> 00:47:11,125 Look, Artie... 638 00:47:16,589 --> 00:47:19,508 Just thought I'd help set the mood 639 00:47:19,592 --> 00:47:22,428 for your big heart-to-heart chat. 640 00:47:31,312 --> 00:47:34,857 I know what it's like to not feel ready for something. 641 00:47:36,859 --> 00:47:38,903 Even ogres get scared. 642 00:47:40,154 --> 00:47:42,782 You know, once in a while. 643 00:47:44,867 --> 00:47:48,287 I know you want me to be king, but I can't. 644 00:47:48,829 --> 00:47:51,791 I'm not cut out for it, and I never will be. 645 00:47:52,541 --> 00:47:55,378 Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. 646 00:47:55,461 --> 00:47:58,631 He dumped me at that school first chance he got 647 00:47:59,131 --> 00:48:01,592 and I never heard from him again. 648 00:48:03,135 --> 00:48:06,639 My dad wasn't really the fatherly type, either. 649 00:48:07,389 --> 00:48:09,767 doubt he was worse than mine. 650 00:48:10,518 --> 00:48:11,727 Oh, yeah? 651 00:48:11,811 --> 00:48:14,063 My father was an ogre. 652 00:48:14,146 --> 00:48:15,898 He tried to eat me. 653 00:48:16,857 --> 00:48:19,026 I guess I should have realised it. 654 00:48:19,110 --> 00:48:20,861 He bathed me in barbecue sauce 655 00:48:20,945 --> 00:48:23,864 and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth. 656 00:48:25,324 --> 00:48:27,451 I guess that's pretty bad. 657 00:48:30,121 --> 00:48:31,997 It may be hard to believe, 658 00:48:32,081 --> 00:48:35,334 what, with my obvious charm and good looks, 659 00:48:35,417 --> 00:48:38,129 but people used to think I was a monster. 660 00:48:39,130 --> 00:48:42,633 And for a long time, I believed them. 661 00:48:44,844 --> 00:48:46,262 But after a while, 662 00:48:46,345 --> 00:48:49,473 you learn to ignore the names people call you 663 00:48:50,224 --> 00:48:52,560 and just trust who you are. 664 00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,523 You know, you're okay, Shrek. 665 00:48:58,691 --> 00:49:02,987 You just need to do a little less yelling and use a little more soap. 666 00:49:03,571 --> 00:49:05,156 Thanks, Artie. 667 00:49:05,239 --> 00:49:08,909 The soap's because you stink really bad. 668 00:49:10,202 --> 00:49:12,496 Yeah, I got that. 669 00:49:17,042 --> 00:49:19,211 This place is filthy! 670 00:49:19,920 --> 00:49:21,755 feel like a hobo. 671 00:49:22,715 --> 00:49:25,467 I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me. 672 00:49:25,551 --> 00:49:29,847 Everything's always about you. It's not like your attitude is helping. 673 00:49:29,930 --> 00:49:33,851 Maybe it just bothers you I was voted fairest in the land. 674 00:49:33,934 --> 00:49:36,228 You mean in that rigged election? 675 00:49:36,312 --> 00:49:39,315 Give me a break. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, 676 00:49:39,398 --> 00:49:41,984 "let down thy golden extensions!" 677 00:49:42,067 --> 00:49:47,406 Ladies, let go of your petty complaints and let's work together! 678 00:49:50,701 --> 00:49:53,496 So I guess the plan is we just wander aimlessly 679 00:49:53,579 --> 00:49:55,706 in this stinkhole until we rot. 680 00:49:55,789 --> 00:49:59,668 No, we get inside and find out what Charming's up to. 681 00:49:59,752 --> 00:50:01,670 I know he's a jerk and everything, 682 00:50:01,754 --> 00:50:05,925 but that Charming makes me hotter than July. 683 00:50:07,927 --> 00:50:09,261 That's it! 684 00:50:37,289 --> 00:50:39,333 Come on! This way! 685 00:50:39,416 --> 00:50:41,001 Rapunzel, wait! 686 00:50:50,469 --> 00:50:52,263 Charming, let go of her. 687 00:50:52,346 --> 00:50:54,765 But why would I want to do that? 688 00:51:00,312 --> 00:51:01,355 What? 689 00:51:01,438 --> 00:51:06,318 Say hello, ladies, to the new Queen of Far Far Away. 690 00:51:10,656 --> 00:51:12,575 Rapunzel, how could you? 691 00:51:12,658 --> 00:51:14,159 Jealous much? 692 00:51:14,952 --> 00:51:17,329 Soon you'll be back where you started, 693 00:51:17,413 --> 00:51:19,999 scrubbing floors or locked away in towers. 694 00:51:20,082 --> 00:51:23,669 That is, if I let you last the week. 695 00:51:25,838 --> 00:51:28,591 Pookie, you promised not to hurt them. 696 00:51:28,674 --> 00:51:32,678 Not here, kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later. 697 00:51:33,804 --> 00:51:35,931 Now forgive us. We have a show to put on. 698 00:51:36,015 --> 00:51:39,560 Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry. 699 00:51:39,643 --> 00:51:41,145 Sorry? 700 00:51:41,228 --> 00:51:45,608 Don't you realise once Shrek sets foot in Far Far Away, 701 00:51:45,691 --> 00:51:47,192 he's doomed? 702 00:52:26,732 --> 00:52:28,692 Look out! They got a piano! 703 00:52:28,776 --> 00:52:32,071 Kill them all, except the fat one. 704 00:52:32,154 --> 00:52:36,325 King Charming has something special in mind for you, ogre. 705 00:52:36,408 --> 00:52:37,868 King Charming? 706 00:52:37,951 --> 00:52:39,370 Attack! 707 00:52:45,793 --> 00:52:47,294 Artie, duck! 708 00:53:01,350 --> 00:53:03,018 Ready the plank! 709 00:53:18,450 --> 00:53:19,952 -Shrek! -Help! 710 00:53:39,388 --> 00:53:40,431 Cowards! 711 00:53:40,514 --> 00:53:42,516 What has Charming done with Fiona? 712 00:53:42,599 --> 00:53:45,477 She's going to get what's coming to her. 713 00:53:46,311 --> 00:53:49,648 And there ain't nothing you can do to stop him! 714 00:53:51,233 --> 00:53:54,570 -We've got to save her. -But she's so far far away! 715 00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,406 Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid. 716 00:53:57,489 --> 00:54:00,617 No, Shrek. Hold on. I've got an idea. 717 00:54:00,701 --> 00:54:02,494 I am a buzzing bee. 718 00:54:03,996 --> 00:54:07,082 Mr Merlin? They need a spell to get them, 719 00:54:07,166 --> 00:54:10,377 I mean us, back to Far Far Away. 720 00:54:10,461 --> 00:54:13,756 Forget it. I don't have that kind of magic in me any more. 721 00:54:13,839 --> 00:54:17,593 How about a hug? That's the best kind of magic. 722 00:54:17,676 --> 00:54:20,053 Please. I know you can do it. 723 00:54:20,137 --> 00:54:22,181 I said forget it! 724 00:54:22,264 --> 00:54:23,515 But... 725 00:54:30,981 --> 00:54:32,566 What's with you? 726 00:54:33,859 --> 00:54:36,653 It's just so hard, you know? 727 00:54:37,821 --> 00:54:41,408 They need to get back, 'cause their kingdom's in trouble. 728 00:54:42,034 --> 00:54:44,578 'Cause there's a really bad man. 729 00:54:44,661 --> 00:54:46,413 It's just so hard! 730 00:54:47,706 --> 00:54:52,211 -Take it easy. -No! I don't think you understand! 731 00:54:52,336 --> 00:54:56,840 There's a mean person doing mean things to good people. 732 00:54:56,924 --> 00:54:58,550 Have a heart, old man. 733 00:54:58,634 --> 00:55:03,889 They really need your help to get back. Why won't you help them? 734 00:55:07,184 --> 00:55:08,560 Okay. 735 00:55:08,644 --> 00:55:10,646 I'll go get my things. 736 00:55:13,482 --> 00:55:16,401 -Piece of cake. -Well, well. 737 00:55:16,485 --> 00:55:18,320 You want eggs with that ham? 738 00:55:18,403 --> 00:55:22,366 I am a little rusty, so there could be some side effects. 739 00:55:22,449 --> 00:55:23,700 -Side effects? -Don't worry. 740 00:55:23,784 --> 00:55:27,412 Whatever it is, no matter how excruciatingly painful, 741 00:55:27,496 --> 00:55:30,374 it will wear off eventually. I think. 742 00:55:32,584 --> 00:55:35,003 -Oops. -You sure about this? 743 00:55:35,087 --> 00:55:38,966 If Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me. 744 00:55:39,675 --> 00:55:41,510 Even if his robe doesn't cover... 745 00:55:41,593 --> 00:55:44,388 Alacritous expeditious, 746 00:55:44,471 --> 00:55:47,015 a-zoomy-zoom-zoom! 747 00:55:47,099 --> 00:55:49,935 Let's help our friends get back... 748 00:55:52,813 --> 00:55:54,106 Soon! 749 00:56:01,530 --> 00:56:02,948 It worked! 750 00:56:11,957 --> 00:56:15,168 I haven't been on a trip like that since college! 751 00:56:15,252 --> 00:56:16,587 Donkey? 752 00:56:16,670 --> 00:56:19,006 What? Is something in my teeth? 753 00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:22,926 Oh, no! 754 00:56:23,010 --> 00:56:27,306 I've been abracadabra-ed into a Fancy Feasting, second-rate sidekick! 755 00:56:29,308 --> 00:56:33,020 At least you don't look like some kind of bloated pinata! 756 00:56:33,103 --> 00:56:35,063 You should think about going on a diet! 757 00:56:35,147 --> 00:56:39,776 You should get yourself a pair of pants. I feel all exposed and nasty! 758 00:56:41,987 --> 00:56:44,323 So you two think this is funny? 759 00:56:46,533 --> 00:56:48,368 I'm really sorry, guys. 760 00:56:48,452 --> 00:56:50,829 Don't be. You got us back, kid. 761 00:56:56,835 --> 00:56:58,920 How in the Hans Christian Andersen 762 00:56:59,004 --> 00:57:01,590 am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots? 763 00:57:01,673 --> 00:57:04,593 Hey, hey, hey! Be very careful with those. 764 00:57:06,386 --> 00:57:10,182 They were made in Madrid by the finest... 765 00:57:10,265 --> 00:57:12,559 You'll learn to control that. 766 00:57:14,978 --> 00:57:16,355 Seriously. Ow! 767 00:57:16,438 --> 00:57:20,317 You need some comfort inserts or arch support or something. 768 00:57:26,698 --> 00:57:30,952 Watch it. I'm walking here and I'm gonna keep going until... 769 00:57:31,036 --> 00:57:32,371 Pinocchio! 770 00:57:33,038 --> 00:57:35,165 Shrek! Help me! 771 00:57:35,248 --> 00:57:38,460 -What happened? -Charming and the villains took over! 772 00:57:38,543 --> 00:57:39,628 They attacked us. 773 00:57:39,711 --> 00:57:42,381 Fiona and the Princesses got away. Now she's... 774 00:57:42,464 --> 00:57:44,007 She's what? What? 775 00:57:45,926 --> 00:57:48,178 Puss! Loan me five bucks. 776 00:57:48,261 --> 00:57:50,389 You heard him. Help the brother out. 777 00:57:50,472 --> 00:57:52,808 Do you see any pockets on me? 778 00:57:52,891 --> 00:57:54,559 Hold on a second. 779 00:57:57,104 --> 00:58:01,316 I had no idea, really. I... I swear. 780 00:58:02,776 --> 00:58:04,861 Quick! Where is Fiona? 781 00:58:04,945 --> 00:58:07,447 Charming has her locked away someplace. 782 00:58:07,531 --> 00:58:08,699 You have to find him! 783 00:58:08,782 --> 00:58:11,326 He's probably getting ready for the show! 784 00:58:11,410 --> 00:58:14,246 Wait, Pinocchio! What show? 785 00:58:19,418 --> 00:58:21,503 "It's a Happily Ever After After All." 786 00:58:21,586 --> 00:58:24,256 "Shrek's final performance"? 787 00:58:24,923 --> 00:58:28,343 Shrek! You didn't tell us you were in a play! 788 00:58:28,427 --> 00:58:31,847 I guess I've been so busy I forgot to mention it. 789 00:58:31,930 --> 00:58:33,724 The ogre! Get him! 790 00:58:34,641 --> 00:58:36,435 Don't worry, jefe. 791 00:58:36,518 --> 00:58:37,936 I got this. 792 00:58:44,443 --> 00:58:45,861 Kill it! 793 00:58:46,445 --> 00:58:47,654 Look. 794 00:58:47,738 --> 00:58:50,449 Don't you know who he thinks he is? 795 00:58:50,532 --> 00:58:51,616 How dare you! 796 00:58:51,700 --> 00:58:53,118 We're dealing with amateurs. 797 00:58:53,201 --> 00:58:56,371 He's a star, people! Hello? 798 00:58:56,455 --> 00:58:58,373 I'm so sorry about this, Mr Shrek. 799 00:58:58,457 --> 00:58:59,875 I'm going to lose it! 800 00:58:59,958 --> 00:59:02,252 Is everything ready? 801 00:59:02,335 --> 00:59:04,713 You did get the list for the dressing room? 802 00:59:04,796 --> 00:59:07,090 Breakfast croissant stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. 803 00:59:07,174 --> 00:59:10,385 And I hope you have the saffron-corn with Jalapeno honey butter. 804 00:59:10,469 --> 00:59:13,597 Our client cannot get into his proper emotional state 805 00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,724 without jalapeno honey butter! 806 00:59:15,807 --> 00:59:17,350 I just lost it. 807 00:59:18,143 --> 00:59:20,437 They should talk to Nancy in Human Resources. 808 00:59:20,520 --> 00:59:23,774 Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise! 809 00:59:25,901 --> 00:59:28,403 "With this sword, I do..." 810 00:59:28,487 --> 00:59:29,529 No. "With..." 811 00:59:29,613 --> 00:59:33,950 "With this sword, I do smote thee!" 812 00:59:34,034 --> 00:59:36,703 Is "smote" the right word? "Smoot"? 813 00:59:36,787 --> 00:59:38,622 don't think that's a word. 814 00:59:38,705 --> 00:59:43,001 Maybe I should just "smite" him. Let's try this again. Now... 815 00:59:44,336 --> 00:59:48,256 Shrek attacks me. I pretend to be afraid. 816 00:59:48,340 --> 00:59:52,427 "Now the kingdom will get the happily ever after they deserve. Die, ogre!" 817 00:59:52,511 --> 00:59:56,181 Blah, blah, blah. Oh, it just doesn't feel real enough! 818 00:59:58,350 --> 01:00:00,602 Who told you to stop dancing? 819 01:00:00,685 --> 01:00:01,853 Wink and turn. 820 01:00:01,937 --> 01:00:05,190 What are you laying around for? Get up! Honestly! 821 01:00:13,990 --> 01:00:17,369 Our happily ever after is nearly complete, Mommy. 822 01:00:17,452 --> 01:00:19,621 And I assure you, 823 01:00:19,704 --> 01:00:24,709 the people of this kingdom will pay dearly for every second 824 01:00:25,836 --> 01:00:27,504 we've had to wait. 825 01:00:29,256 --> 01:00:30,340 Break a leg. 826 01:00:30,423 --> 01:00:33,593 On second thought, let me break it for you. 827 01:00:33,677 --> 01:00:34,719 Thank goodness. 828 01:00:34,803 --> 01:00:37,931 I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time. 829 01:00:38,014 --> 01:00:39,516 Where's Fiona? 830 01:00:39,599 --> 01:00:40,934 Don't worry. 831 01:00:41,017 --> 01:00:43,770 She and the others are safe, for now. 832 01:00:53,071 --> 01:00:56,575 Let me guess. Arthur. 833 01:00:57,284 --> 01:00:59,286 It's Artie, actually. 834 01:00:59,369 --> 01:01:04,040 This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away? 835 01:01:06,418 --> 01:01:07,669 How pathetic. 836 01:01:07,752 --> 01:01:10,255 Stand still, so I won't make a mess. 837 01:01:10,338 --> 01:01:14,217 Charming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted. 838 01:01:14,301 --> 01:01:16,178 "his isn't about him. 839 01:01:16,928 --> 01:01:20,891 Then who's it about? I'm supposed to be king, right? 840 01:01:22,309 --> 01:01:26,605 You weren't really next in line for the throne. 841 01:01:27,105 --> 01:01:28,356 I was. 842 01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:31,902 But you said the King asked for me personally. 843 01:01:31,985 --> 01:01:34,988 -Not exactly. -What does that mean? 844 01:01:35,071 --> 01:01:37,991 I said whatever I had to say, all right? 845 01:01:38,074 --> 01:01:41,786 I wasn't right for the job, so I needed some fool to replace me. 846 01:01:41,870 --> 01:01:45,415 And you fit the bill. So just go! 847 01:01:48,793 --> 01:01:50,378 You were playing me the whole time. 848 01:01:50,462 --> 01:01:52,672 You catch on real fast, kid. 849 01:01:52,756 --> 01:01:55,842 Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought. 850 01:02:02,224 --> 01:02:04,476 You know, for a minute, 851 01:02:05,310 --> 01:02:06,895 -I actually thought... -What? 852 01:02:06,978 --> 01:02:10,315 That he cared about you? He's an ogre. 853 01:02:10,398 --> 01:02:12,233 What did you expect? 854 01:02:22,452 --> 01:02:25,997 You really do have a way with children, Shrek. 855 01:02:38,510 --> 01:02:41,930 Leave me out with the waste 856 01:02:42,013 --> 01:02:45,600 This is not what I do 857 01:02:45,684 --> 01:02:49,312 It's the wrong time 858 01:02:49,396 --> 01:02:51,773 She's pulling me through 859 01:02:51,856 --> 01:02:55,318 It's a small crime 860 01:02:56,027 --> 01:02:58,530 And I got no excuse 861 01:02:58,613 --> 01:03:01,157 And is that all right, yeah? 862 01:03:02,367 --> 01:03:05,453 Is that all right with you? 863 01:03:05,537 --> 01:03:09,374 Is that all right, yeah? 864 01:03:10,292 --> 01:03:14,295 If I give my gun away when it's loaded? 865 01:03:16,589 --> 01:03:21,261 If you don't shoot It how am I supposed to hold it? 866 01:03:24,222 --> 01:03:27,517 Is that all right? Is that all right? 867 01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:30,020 Is that all right with you? 868 01:03:31,062 --> 01:03:32,147 No 869 01:03:32,230 --> 01:03:33,857 Had we stayed put like I suggested, 870 01:03:33,940 --> 01:03:36,318 we'd be sipping tea out of little heart-shaped cups. 871 01:03:36,401 --> 01:03:38,653 Yeah, heart-shaped cups. 872 01:03:38,737 --> 01:03:41,406 And eating crumpets smothered with loganberries. 873 01:03:41,489 --> 01:03:43,199 Yeah, loganberries. 874 01:03:43,283 --> 01:03:45,160 -Shut up, Cindy. -Yeah, shut up. 875 01:03:45,243 --> 01:03:47,829 -No, you shut up. -Stay out of this. 876 01:03:47,912 --> 01:03:50,540 Who cares who's "running the kingdom"? 877 01:03:51,291 --> 01:03:54,544 -I care. -You should all care. 878 01:03:58,757 --> 01:04:01,259 I have your badge number, tin can! 879 01:04:01,926 --> 01:04:03,720 -Donkey? -Princess! 880 01:04:03,803 --> 01:04:05,013 Puss? 881 01:04:06,056 --> 01:04:09,017 I am Puss, stuck here inside this hideous body. 882 01:04:09,100 --> 01:04:10,894 -And I'm me! -But you're... 883 01:04:10,977 --> 01:04:14,064 Everything's fruity in the loops, but what happened is 884 01:04:14,147 --> 01:04:16,191 we went to high school, the boat crashed 885 01:04:16,274 --> 01:04:19,027 and we got bippity-boppity-booped by the magic man. 886 01:04:19,110 --> 01:04:21,279 You poor sweet things. 887 01:04:21,362 --> 01:04:22,614 I don't get it. 888 01:04:22,697 --> 01:04:26,701 The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet. What's to get? 889 01:04:26,785 --> 01:04:28,995 -Who dat? -Where's Shrek? 890 01:04:29,079 --> 01:04:30,413 Charming has him. 891 01:04:30,497 --> 01:04:34,417 He plans to kill Shrek tonight in front of the whole kingdom! 892 01:04:34,959 --> 01:04:36,586 All right, everyone. 893 01:04:36,669 --> 01:04:40,006 -We need to find a way out now. -You're right. 894 01:04:40,090 --> 01:04:42,300 Ladies, assume the position! 895 01:04:47,305 --> 01:04:49,557 What are you doing? 896 01:04:49,641 --> 01:04:51,101 Waiting to be rescued. 897 01:04:51,184 --> 01:04:52,519 You've got to be kidding me. 898 01:04:52,602 --> 01:04:55,563 What else can we do? We're just four, 899 01:04:56,064 --> 01:04:59,275 I mean three, super-hot princesses, 900 01:04:59,359 --> 01:05:02,821 two circus freaks, a pregnant ogre and an old lady! 901 01:05:04,322 --> 01:05:08,409 Excuse me. Old lady coming through. 902 01:05:17,293 --> 01:05:18,670 Mom! 903 01:05:19,254 --> 01:05:23,133 You didn't think you got your fighting skills from your father, did you? 904 01:05:23,216 --> 01:05:26,511 Excuse me. There's still one more. 905 01:05:36,604 --> 01:05:38,773 Why don't you just lie down? 906 01:05:41,568 --> 01:05:46,531 Okay, girls, from here on out we take care of business ourselves. 907 01:06:05,425 --> 01:06:06,759 The Far Far Away Theater 908 01:06:06,843 --> 01:06:09,429 at the Charming Pavilion is proud to present 909 01:06:09,512 --> 01:06:10,680 "It's A Happily Ever After After All." 910 01:06:10,763 --> 01:06:14,017 Enjoy your evening of theatrical reverie, citizen. 911 01:06:14,100 --> 01:06:17,437 Oi! No food or beverages in the theatre! 912 01:06:31,326 --> 01:06:32,493 Places, everyone! 913 01:06:37,916 --> 01:06:39,918 -Eas -Sorr 914 01:06:40,001 --> 01:06:43,046 I was showing off for the little one. 915 01:06:43,838 --> 01:06:47,425 It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day. Come here, beautiful. 916 01:06:50,303 --> 01:06:53,306 Well, she's got your eye. 917 01:06:54,766 --> 01:06:56,976 Who would have thought a monster like me 918 01:06:57,060 --> 01:06:59,729 deserved something as special as you? 919 01:07:41,020 --> 01:07:44,774 Little birdies, take wing 920 01:07:44,857 --> 01:07:47,568 Flitting down from the trees they appear 921 01:07:47,652 --> 01:07:50,571 And to chirp in my ear 922 01:07:51,656 --> 01:07:54,659 All because I sing 923 01:08:24,230 --> 01:08:25,315 Move it! Go! 924 01:08:31,654 --> 01:08:33,197 My babies! 925 01:08:35,491 --> 01:08:36,743 Help! 926 01:09:21,579 --> 01:09:23,581 Hey, how's it going? 927 01:09:33,966 --> 01:09:35,760 O to the K. The coast is clear. 928 01:09:35,843 --> 01:09:38,638 Let's do this. Go, Team Dynamite! 929 01:09:38,721 --> 01:09:42,350 I thought we agreed to use the name Team Super Cool. 930 01:09:42,433 --> 01:09:44,811 recall it was Team Awesome. 931 01:09:44,894 --> 01:09:48,231 -I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron. -Okay! 932 01:09:48,314 --> 01:09:51,401 From henceforth, we will be Team Alpha Super Awesome 933 01:09:51,484 --> 01:09:53,027 Cool Dynamite Wolf Squadron. 934 01:09:53,111 --> 01:09:57,615 Ach du lieber! There is some strange little girl over there staring at us! 935 01:09:58,825 --> 01:10:00,076 Artie! 936 01:10:00,368 --> 01:10:01,911 Wait, wait! 937 01:10:01,994 --> 01:10:03,955 Where is the fire, senor? 938 01:10:04,038 --> 01:10:06,124 Please. Don't act so innocent. 939 01:10:06,207 --> 01:10:09,919 You both knew what was going on and kept it to yourselves. 940 01:10:10,002 --> 01:10:11,713 It's not like it seems. 941 01:10:11,796 --> 01:10:14,632 It's not? I think it seems pretty clear. 942 01:10:14,966 --> 01:10:17,385 He was using me. That's all. 943 01:10:17,468 --> 01:10:19,929 Using you? You really don't get it. 944 01:10:20,012 --> 01:10:22,974 Shrek only said those things to protect you. 945 01:10:23,641 --> 01:10:26,436 Charming was going to kill you, Artie! 946 01:10:26,519 --> 01:10:28,438 Shrek saved your life. 947 01:10:38,865 --> 01:10:40,491 Cue the spot! 948 01:10:44,162 --> 01:10:47,039 I wait alone up here 949 01:10:47,123 --> 01:10:50,084 I'm trapped another day 950 01:10:50,168 --> 01:10:53,254 Locked up here, please set me free 951 01:10:53,337 --> 01:10:56,257 My new life I almost see 952 01:10:56,340 --> 01:10:59,093 A castle, you and me 953 01:10:59,177 --> 01:11:03,639 Yes, a castle, you and me 954 01:11:06,184 --> 01:11:07,435 Cherubs! 955 01:11:11,564 --> 01:11:14,984 77s I, 77s I Upon my regal steed 956 01:11:15,067 --> 01:11:16,819 Princess, my love 957 01:11:16,903 --> 01:11:19,697 At last you shall be freed I'm strong 958 01:11:19,780 --> 01:11:22,450 And brave And dashing my way there 959 01:11:22,533 --> 01:11:27,371 With speed! With might! With soft and bouncy hair! 960 01:11:29,123 --> 01:11:32,794 -Through the blistering desert -Hot! 961 01:11:32,877 --> 01:11:35,838 -Across the stormiest sea -Wet! 962 01:11:35,922 --> 01:11:39,091 -Facing creatures so vile -Foul! 963 01:11:39,175 --> 01:11:42,970 So you can gaze upon me! 964 01:11:45,056 --> 01:11:47,308 I knew you'd come for me 965 01:11:47,391 --> 01:11:50,978 And now we finally meet 966 01:11:51,062 --> 01:11:52,897 I knew you'd wait 967 01:11:52,980 --> 01:11:57,527 And from my plate of love you'd eat 968 01:12:17,338 --> 01:12:20,550 Who is this terribly ugly fiend Who so rudely intervened? 969 01:12:20,633 --> 01:12:22,510 Will Charming fight or flee? 970 01:12:22,593 --> 01:12:23,844 Please rescue me! 971 01:12:23,928 --> 01:12:25,846 From this monstrosity! 972 01:12:25,930 --> 01:12:27,848 Fear thee not, honey lamb! 973 01:12:27,932 --> 01:12:32,353 I will slice this thing up like a ham! 974 01:12:32,436 --> 01:12:33,521 Oh, boy. 975 01:12:33,604 --> 01:12:36,983 You are about to enter a world of pain 976 01:12:37,066 --> 01:12:40,736 with which you are not familiar! 977 01:12:45,491 --> 01:12:49,912 It can't be any more painful than your lousy performance. 978 01:12:53,499 --> 01:12:55,459 "Prepare, foul beast." 979 01:12:57,128 --> 01:13:00,631 Prepare, foul beast, your time is done! 980 01:13:01,132 --> 01:13:04,343 Could you kill me and then sing? 981 01:13:05,761 --> 01:13:07,054 Be quiet! 982 01:13:07,138 --> 01:13:11,601 I'm just having fun with you. That's actually a very nice leotard. 983 01:13:12,643 --> 01:13:15,438 -Thank you. -Do they come in men's sizes? 984 01:13:18,316 --> 01:13:20,026 Now that be funny! 985 01:13:20,443 --> 01:13:21,777 Enough! 986 01:13:24,530 --> 01:13:28,576 Now you'll finally know what it's like 987 01:13:28,659 --> 01:13:32,038 to have everything you worked for, 988 01:13:32,121 --> 01:13:36,250 everything that's precious to you, taken away. 989 01:13:36,334 --> 01:13:39,462 Now you'll know how I felt. 990 01:13:46,969 --> 01:13:48,471 Sausage roll! 991 01:14:05,946 --> 01:14:08,658 Pray for mercy from Puss! 992 01:14:08,741 --> 01:14:10,201 And Donkey! 993 01:14:22,672 --> 01:14:24,131 Hi, honey. 994 01:14:24,215 --> 01:14:26,842 Sorry we're late. You okay? 995 01:14:26,926 --> 01:14:29,387 Much better, now that you're here. 996 01:14:32,014 --> 01:14:34,642 So, Charming, you want to let me out of these 997 01:14:34,725 --> 01:14:36,936 so we can settle this ogre-to-man? 998 01:14:37,019 --> 01:14:41,065 Ooh, that sounds fun. But I have a better idea. 999 01:14:57,415 --> 01:14:59,667 -Fiona! -No! Let go of me! 1000 01:14:59,750 --> 01:15:02,920 You will not ruin things this time, ogre. 1001 01:15:03,004 --> 01:15:04,296 Kill it. 1002 01:15:07,842 --> 01:15:09,593 Everybody, stop! 1003 01:15:11,721 --> 01:15:13,764 Oh, what is it now? 1004 01:15:13,848 --> 01:15:15,099 Artie? 1005 01:15:24,942 --> 01:15:27,987 Who thinks we need to settle things this way? 1006 01:15:31,615 --> 01:15:35,202 You mean you want to be villains your whole lives? 1007 01:15:35,286 --> 01:15:38,873 But we are villains! It's the only thing we know. 1008 01:15:38,956 --> 01:15:41,834 You never wish you could be something else? 1009 01:15:41,917 --> 01:15:45,379 Easy for you to say. You're not some evil enchanted tree. 1010 01:15:45,463 --> 01:15:48,049 You morons! Don't listen to him! Attack! 1011 01:15:48,132 --> 01:15:51,552 What Steve means is it's hard to come by honest work 1012 01:15:51,635 --> 01:15:53,220 when the whole world's against you. 1013 01:15:53,304 --> 01:15:55,055 Right. Thanks, Ed. 1014 01:15:56,348 --> 01:15:59,810 Fair enough. You're right. I'm not a talking tree. 1015 01:15:59,894 --> 01:16:01,270 But you know, 1016 01:16:01,353 --> 01:16:04,148 a good friend once told me 1017 01:16:04,231 --> 01:16:08,694 just because people treat you like a villain, or an ogre, 1018 01:16:09,737 --> 01:16:11,781 or just some loser, 1019 01:16:13,199 --> 01:16:15,242 doesn't mean you are one. 1020 01:16:17,995 --> 01:16:22,041 What matters most is what you think of yourself. 1021 01:16:22,124 --> 01:16:26,420 If there's something you really want, or someone you want to be, 1022 01:16:26,504 --> 01:16:30,299 the only person standing in your way is you. 1023 01:16:30,382 --> 01:16:31,842 -Me? -Get him! 1024 01:16:31,967 --> 01:16:33,511 No, no, no! 1025 01:16:33,594 --> 01:16:36,514 What I mean is each of you, 1026 01:16:37,014 --> 01:16:39,266 is standing in your own way. 1027 01:16:43,187 --> 01:16:45,773 I always wanted to play the flute. 1028 01:16:45,856 --> 01:16:49,276 I'd like to open up a spa, in France! 1029 01:16:49,360 --> 01:16:51,195 I grow daffodils. 1030 01:16:52,154 --> 01:16:54,115 And they're beautiful. 1031 01:17:42,830 --> 01:17:45,791 A new era finally begins! 1032 01:17:47,918 --> 01:17:50,254 Now all of you 1033 01:17:50,337 --> 01:17:52,256 bow before your King! 1034 01:17:59,221 --> 01:18:01,557 You need to work on your aim. 1035 01:18:03,934 --> 01:18:06,979 This was supposed to be my happily ever after! 1036 01:18:07,062 --> 01:18:09,565 Well, you need to keep looking 1037 01:18:11,400 --> 01:18:13,861 because I'm not giving up mine. 1038 01:18:18,782 --> 01:18:19,950 Mommy? 1039 01:18:31,253 --> 01:18:33,339 It's yours if you want it. 1040 01:18:34,006 --> 01:18:36,342 But this time it's your choice. 1041 01:18:58,989 --> 01:19:00,115 Author! 1042 01:19:04,912 --> 01:19:08,457 Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie! 1043 01:19:08,540 --> 01:19:10,626 Excuse me. That's my seat. 1044 01:19:12,086 --> 01:19:14,046 Okay, Senor Hocusy-Pocusy, 1045 01:19:14,129 --> 01:19:16,924 the time has come to rectify some wrongs! 1046 01:19:17,007 --> 01:19:19,468 Though I have been enjoying these cat baths. 1047 01:19:19,551 --> 01:19:20,719 Please say you didn't. 1048 01:19:20,803 --> 01:19:22,763 All right! Look. 1049 01:19:22,846 --> 01:19:26,642 You'll feel a pinch and possibly lower intestinal discomfort, 1050 01:19:26,725 --> 01:19:29,061 but this should do the trick. 1051 01:19:33,273 --> 01:19:35,609 -Are you... -I'm me again! 1052 01:19:35,693 --> 01:19:37,987 -And I am not you! -All right! 1053 01:19:39,613 --> 01:19:40,781 Oops. 1054 01:19:42,992 --> 01:19:43,993 Never mind. 1055 01:19:48,205 --> 01:19:52,334 What did I tell you? The kid's going to be a great king. 1056 01:19:52,418 --> 01:19:56,005 Well, for what it's worth, you would have, too. 1057 01:19:57,548 --> 01:20:00,551 I have something much more important in mind. 1058 01:20:26,160 --> 01:20:27,411 Finally. 1059 01:20:33,959 --> 01:20:35,294 Dada. 1060 01:20:37,463 --> 01:20:41,925 Was I wrong about the world? It's a beautiful new place 1061 01:20:42,009 --> 01:20:44,053 smell Shrek Junior! 1062 01:20:44,136 --> 01:20:47,389 Where else could a creep like me 1063 01:20:47,473 --> 01:20:49,892 Meet such a pretty face 1064 01:20:49,975 --> 01:20:54,271 Meeting every day with the rising sun 1065 01:20:56,690 --> 01:20:59,526 Looking up, it's looking like 1066 01:20:59,610 --> 01:21:02,321 My losing streak is done 1067 01:21:03,697 --> 01:21:05,115 Peek-a-boo! 1068 01:21:05,199 --> 01:21:06,533 Peek-a-boo! 1069 01:21:09,161 --> 01:21:11,205 A bouncy, bouncy, boy! 1070 01:21:11,288 --> 01:21:14,333 Used to always feel like 1071 01:21:14,416 --> 01:21:16,794 Wished that I was dressed better 1072 01:21:18,170 --> 01:21:19,213 Where's the baby? 1073 01:21:19,296 --> 01:21:23,217 Never had a lot of luck Until I finally met her 1074 01:21:33,644 --> 01:21:37,648 Meeting every day with the rising sun 1075 01:21:40,359 --> 01:21:43,070 Looking up, it's looking like 1076 01:21:43,153 --> 01:21:46,156 My losing streak is done 1077 01:21:48,158 --> 01:21:50,494 My losing streak is done 1078 01:22:01,255 --> 01:22:04,007 Well, what shall we do now? 1079 01:22:20,357 --> 01:22:22,025 I got it. 1080 01:22:28,240 --> 01:22:32,619 Puss and Donkey, baby! Once again, come on! 1081 01:22:32,703 --> 01:22:37,499 I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1082 01:22:37,583 --> 01:22:38,625 Again! 1083 01:22:38,709 --> 01:22:40,294 Look at my hips! 1084 01:22:40,377 --> 01:22:45,549 I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1085 01:22:46,049 --> 01:22:47,426 Again! 1086 01:22:53,056 --> 01:22:54,683 -Break it down! -Let's go! 1087 01:22:54,766 --> 01:22:57,186 Stiff all in the collar 1088 01:22:58,854 --> 01:23:01,023 Fluffy In the face 1089 01:23:03,025 --> 01:23:05,527 Chit chat chatter trying 1090 01:23:07,237 --> 01:23:09,406 Stuffy in the place 1091 01:23:11,408 --> 01:23:14,244 Thank you for the par-tay 1092 01:23:15,329 --> 01:23:17,039 But I could never stay 1093 01:23:17,122 --> 01:23:18,457 I'm sorry 1094 01:23:19,374 --> 01:23:22,377 I got many things on my mind 1095 01:23:23,504 --> 01:23:25,672 But the word's in the way 1096 01:23:26,798 --> 01:23:31,970 And I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1097 01:23:32,054 --> 01:23:33,555 Again 1098 01:23:34,431 --> 01:23:36,350 Different strokes for different folks 1099 01:23:36,433 --> 01:23:40,312 Thank you for letting me be myself 1100 01:23:40,395 --> 01:23:41,897 Again 1101 01:23:44,066 --> 01:23:45,567 Break it down! 1102 01:23:46,109 --> 01:23:49,279 Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! 1103 01:23:50,280 --> 01:23:52,282 Puss and Donkey, baby! 1104 01:23:53,158 --> 01:23:55,327 Dance to the music 1105 01:23:57,329 --> 01:23:59,206 All night long 1106 01:24:01,458 --> 01:24:03,418 Everyday people 1107 01:24:05,712 --> 01:24:07,881 Sing a simple song 1108 01:24:09,841 --> 01:24:11,802 Mama's so happy 1109 01:24:14,012 --> 01:24:16,014 Mama start to cry 1110 01:24:18,183 --> 01:24:20,143 Papa's still singing 1111 01:24:21,812 --> 01:24:25,399 You can make it if you try So try! 1112 01:24:26,525 --> 01:24:30,404 Thank you for letting me be myself 1113 01:24:30,487 --> 01:24:31,822 Again 1114 01:24:34,992 --> 01:24:38,787 Thank you for letting me be myself 1115 01:24:38,870 --> 01:24:40,205 Again 1116 01:24:40,664 --> 01:24:43,500 Come on, Donkey. Do something right! 1117 01:24:43,584 --> 01:24:47,087 Put the hoofs together! Put the hoofs together! 1118 01:24:47,170 --> 01:24:49,172 Stomp your boots, baby! 1119 01:24:49,256 --> 01:24:51,591 Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! 1120 01:24:51,675 --> 01:24:55,512 Thank you for letting me be myself 1121 01:24:55,595 --> 01:24:57,097 Again 1122 01:24:59,266 --> 01:25:03,770 I want to thank you for letting me be myself 1123 01:25:03,854 --> 01:25:04,938 Again 1124 01:25:05,022 --> 01:25:07,482 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 1125 01:25:07,566 --> 01:25:10,777 Want to thank you Just to be my 1126 01:25:10,861 --> 01:25:14,281 Because I just want to be my... See? 1127 01:25:14,364 --> 01:25:17,200 Can I, can I thank you! Can I 1128 01:25:17,284 --> 01:25:19,119 Yes! Yes!