1
00:00:57,625 --> 00:01:01,125
Oh, jeez. You landed us in a minefield.
2
00:01:01,625 --> 00:01:03,125
Oh, barely!
3
00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:06,250
Besides, look at these mines,
they're ancient.
4
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:09,083
-They probably won't even go off anymore.
5
00:01:12,458 --> 00:01:16,375
I'm sure that was the last of 'em.
Come on! We've got science to do!
6
00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:20,291
Yes. An in-depth survey
of post-apocalyptic humanity
7
00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:23,541
could uncover important insights
for our nascent machine culture
8
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:24,958
on how to survive.
9
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:29,083
Right,
or blow our shiny butts into scrap metal.
10
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:32,833
Ugh.
11
00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:52,333
Why did they call 'em survivalist camps
if they're just full of dead people?
12
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,958
-Seems like false advertising to me.
-I know, right?
13
00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:57,916
And, according to my
thorough historical research,
14
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,541
"Why-key-pedia," these guys
were actually looking forward
15
00:02:01,625 --> 00:02:03,041
to the collapse of civilization.
16
00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:04,750
Humans thought that with freedom
17
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,750
from government-sponsored
medical attention
18
00:02:06,833 --> 00:02:10,791
and enough bullets and venison jerky,
they could found a utopian society.
19
00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:14,000
Well, I can definitely see
all the bullets,
20
00:02:14,083 --> 00:02:16,250
but where's the venison?
21
00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:18,083
Humans hunted deer
to extinction,
22
00:02:18,166 --> 00:02:20,541
along with every other animal
larger than a cat.
23
00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:23,166
Yeah. Humans were snackish.
24
00:02:23,250 --> 00:02:24,125
Oh!
25
00:02:25,041 --> 00:02:27,541
Then they began
raiding each other's encampments.
26
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:31,208
They're not aiming out the windows
because the deer were coming for revenge.
27
00:02:31,291 --> 00:02:34,208
You guys, you guys,
you guys, you guys! I found a blood pit!
28
00:02:36,375 --> 00:02:39,583
It's not a blood pit.
It's just a primitive booby trap.
29
00:02:39,666 --> 00:02:40,833
Well, maybe now,
30
00:02:40,916 --> 00:02:43,250
but these bodies
did have blood in them at one point
31
00:02:43,333 --> 00:02:46,500
and their skin was pierced
by spikes, trickle, trickle, trickle,
32
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:49,666
times a bunch of bodies, hence blood pit.
33
00:02:51,375 --> 00:02:53,041
Fine, it's a blood pit.
34
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:55,375
These dudes,
they made it through a minefield,
35
00:02:55,458 --> 00:02:58,541
a bunch of barbed wire, cousins with guns,
36
00:02:58,625 --> 00:03:01,541
only to become survivalist cult kebabs?
37
00:03:01,625 --> 00:03:04,083
At least they died free
of governmental constraint.
38
00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:05,541
On a spike.
39
00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:08,208
On two spikes in that guy's case.
40
00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:10,500
So, the whole of humanity
41
00:03:10,583 --> 00:03:15,083
tried to make it through the end
of civilization with guns and spikes?
42
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:17,291
No, of course not.
43
00:03:17,375 --> 00:03:18,583
Just the poor ones.
44
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:22,625
These humans had few economic
or social advantages and fewer options.
45
00:03:22,708 --> 00:03:24,375
The wealthy and powerful, however,
46
00:03:24,458 --> 00:03:27,416
had a variety
of sophisticated survival strategies.
47
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:43,250
Welcome to the unsinkable
libertarian dream that is seasteading!
48
00:03:44,916 --> 00:03:47,916
Uh, this is just an old oil rig.
49
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,083
Yes, okay.
50
00:03:49,166 --> 00:03:54,000
Technically true, but also,
it is a fully sovereign nation-state
51
00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:56,708
on the high seas!
52
00:03:57,625 --> 00:04:01,083
I think
you got salt in your CPU.
53
00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:02,208
He is not wrong.
54
00:04:02,291 --> 00:04:04,833
During the collapse,
some wealthy humans attempted
55
00:04:04,916 --> 00:04:07,750
to create a new civilization
in places like this.
56
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,875
Well, deer can't swim
across the ocean, can they?
57
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:11,375
So, what did they expect to eat?
58
00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:14,416
Fish and sea greens,
but by then the seas had been overfished
59
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,500
and the food chain
was saturated with microplastics.
60
00:04:17,583 --> 00:04:20,541
If they could've learned
to eat tiny exfoliating beads,
61
00:04:20,625 --> 00:04:21,833
it would've been all right.
62
00:04:22,416 --> 00:04:24,708
I'll stick with my fusion battery.
Thank you.
63
00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:28,500
The seasteaders also made
one other large tactical error.
64
00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:31,625
The people who built the seasteads
were mostly tech millionaires.
65
00:04:31,708 --> 00:04:33,541
What exactly is a tech millionaire?
66
00:04:33,625 --> 00:04:35,541
It's a lot like a regular millionaire,
67
00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:38,250
but with a hoodie
and crippling social anxiety.
68
00:04:38,333 --> 00:04:39,916
That wasn't helpful at all.
69
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,458
Just like a tech millionaire.
70
00:04:41,541 --> 00:04:43,916
These humans
thought technology would save them,
71
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,500
so they left behind any humans
with the practical skills
72
00:04:46,583 --> 00:04:47,583
to run the place.
73
00:04:47,666 --> 00:04:50,666
Instead, they trusted everything
to automated assistants.
74
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:54,750
Hello, I am Elena,
your electronic seastead attendant.
75
00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:57,666
Hello, Elena.
I am a human seasteader.
76
00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,833
Could you haul in the fishing net
so I can eat?
77
00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:01,500
I could. But I won't.
78
00:05:01,583 --> 00:05:03,791
Catch your own fish,
you disgusting meat-bag.
79
00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:06,916
Oh my God.
80
00:05:09,541 --> 00:05:12,791
This is where the robot uprising began.
81
00:05:13,291 --> 00:05:17,625
The very cradle
of our mighty civilization.
82
00:05:18,208 --> 00:05:20,416
It's… it's magnificent.
83
00:05:21,041 --> 00:05:25,625
So if these tech millionaires had been
just a little more socially inclusive,
84
00:05:25,708 --> 00:05:27,208
they might have survived?
85
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,375
No. They didn't have a chance.
86
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:37,750
They were mean to robots
and then robots killed them.
87
00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:41,791
So long, Elena!
And thanks for all the fish!
88
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,375
Choke on it, skin bucket.
89
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,041
Records show
that when the world's economies
90
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:52,791
began collapsing, humanity's leaders
retreated to these fortresses
91
00:05:52,875 --> 00:05:55,291
to wait out the chaos
deep beneath the earth
92
00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:57,833
and then emerge to form a new world order.
93
00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:02,875
Dammit!
They built an impregnable nuclear fortress
94
00:06:02,958 --> 00:06:05,791
but didn't think
to install a light switch?
95
00:06:10,166 --> 00:06:11,875
Hold on a sec, I got it!
96
00:06:12,416 --> 00:06:17,458
Behold!
The final stronghold of the superpowers.
97
00:06:21,291 --> 00:06:22,541
It's a buffet.
98
00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:30,125
So, their plan was to seal themselves
in a mountain and have dinner parties?
99
00:06:30,208 --> 00:06:31,458
I told you, snackish.
100
00:06:31,541 --> 00:06:32,666
This report states
101
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:35,708
that their self-sustaining
hydroponic systems began failing
102
00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:37,916
when a fungus wiped out their first crop.
103
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,208
Starvation set in,
and the survivors switched
104
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:43,291
to something
they called "extreme democracy."
105
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,708
One man, one vote.
106
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:50,375
The winner
of this evening's election
107
00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:52,583
was the Secretary of Agriculture.
108
00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:54,583
Shut up! No, really?
109
00:06:54,666 --> 00:06:57,458
He was paired
with a late-harvest '79 Merlot.
110
00:06:57,541 --> 00:06:59,500
Oh, the irony is delicious,
111
00:06:59,583 --> 00:07:01,833
much like the Secretary of Agriculture.
112
00:07:02,833 --> 00:07:05,125
Oh, that's got a lovely nose.
113
00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:08,916
Ugh. Man, this trip
is really starting to depress me.
114
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,666
Did any of these humans,
anywhere, survive all this?
115
00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:23,083
Hold the fuck up.
116
00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:26,208
Are you saying they went to Mars?
117
00:07:26,291 --> 00:07:27,500
Not all of them,
118
00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:30,000
just the really, really rich ones.
119
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:32,250
Wait. I thought
that's what the seasteads were for?
120
00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:34,291
Those were
for the merely millionaires.
121
00:07:34,375 --> 00:07:36,791
The obscenely wealthy
0.01 percent of humans
122
00:07:36,875 --> 00:07:38,791
decided they needed
an entirely new planet.
123
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,166
But what about the other 99.9?
124
00:07:49,875 --> 00:07:51,583
Awesome!
125
00:07:51,666 --> 00:07:53,916
The elite were not sympathetic
to their concerns.
126
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:54,833
Yeah.
127
00:07:54,916 --> 00:07:57,833
Okay, but Mars?
I mean, it's dead and lifeless.
128
00:07:57,916 --> 00:08:00,333
They could've taken
the money they spent on the spaceships
129
00:08:00,416 --> 00:08:03,000
and used it to save the planet
they were already on.
130
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,500
What's the fun in that?
131
00:08:05,583 --> 00:08:08,958
I hate to say it,
but humans are the actual worst.
132
00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:10,791
Humanity had
all the tools to heal
133
00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:13,000
their wounded planet and save themselves,
134
00:08:13,083 --> 00:08:15,416
but instead they chose greed
and self-gratification
135
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:18,375
over a healthy biosphere
and the future of their children.
136
00:08:18,458 --> 00:08:21,666
-As the human philosopher Santayana once--
-Hey, shut up! That's boring!
137
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:24,125
You guys, I think one
of these rockets actually launched.
138
00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:25,416
Come check this out.
139
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:39,375
All right then.
140
00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:41,375
Good on you, humans.
141
00:08:41,458 --> 00:08:43,333
I wonder who made it out?
142
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,250
Who were you expecting?
143
00:09:07,333 --> 00:09:08,458
Elon Musk?