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MR. BEAT TAKESHI
2
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Yes?
3
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Excuse me.
4
00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:43,291
Will this work?
5
00:00:43,375 --> 00:00:45,583
-Yeah. Leave it right there.
-Okay.
6
00:00:46,375 --> 00:00:49,291
Excuse me.
We're about to start. Please follow me.
7
00:00:49,375 --> 00:00:50,208
Break a leg.
8
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,500
We'll finish the interview later.
9
00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:54,250
Oh, okay. Thanks.
10
00:00:54,333 --> 00:00:55,791
Thank you for waiting.
11
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Everything's fine now…
12
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Hello.
13
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Hi.
14
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She'll put your mic on.
15
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Have some water.
16
00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:11,250
We have wonderful guests
here today as always.
17
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All members of the audience
are our guests too, so let's have fun!
18
00:01:16,625 --> 00:01:19,083
-Please wait here.
-You may be on camera.
19
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,541
Fix your makeup while you can.
20
00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:25,250
Cameras nowadays
have 4K and 8K resolution.
21
00:01:25,875 --> 00:01:29,875
Even with your usual makeup,
your pores will be very visible.
22
00:01:29,958 --> 00:01:34,125
But don't worry. This show
doesn't have that much of a budget.
23
00:01:34,791 --> 00:01:37,875
I'm sure you can tell
from the gifts we gave you.
24
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I'm here talking nonsense,
but we're ready to go.
25
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Now, give it up for your host today,
26
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Mr. Beat Takeshi!
27
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Young people these days are scary.
28
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Someone was hit
with a metal bat the other day.
29
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:05,083
I recently got in a fight with some.
We bumped shoulders.
30
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-Really?
-And they had metal bats.
31
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-That's scary.
-Not wanting to be belittled, I go…
32
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-"Where's your elementary school?!"
-That young?!
33
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1974
34
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-Hey!
-Yes?
35
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Don't "Yes?" me. You're up.
36
00:02:19,583 --> 00:02:21,291
Oh, thank you.
37
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-You get 20 minutes.
-Okay.
38
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-Just one touch.
-Don't be silly.
39
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I said, "You'll get fat."
40
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All right. We're going to have
a special comedy show now.
41
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They came all the way from Tokyo for this.
42
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Um… What was their name?
43
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All right, take it away!
44
00:02:59,708 --> 00:03:03,541
Hello. We're Shokakuya Takeshi-Kiyoshi.
Nice to meet you.
45
00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:07,416
-Oh, Niigata is a nice place.
-Yeah, we've never been here before.
46
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We're from Asakusa, Tokyo.
47
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Yes, we do comedy skits at strip clubs.
48
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We do comedy skits between strips.
49
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Sometimes he gets confused and strips.
50
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I do not. Why would I get naked?
51
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:23,583
Anyway, young people these days are scary.
52
00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:26,583
Someone was hit
with a metal bat the other day.
53
00:03:26,666 --> 00:03:30,041
I recently got in a fight with some.
We bumped shoulders.
54
00:03:30,125 --> 00:03:31,833
-Really?
-They had metal bats.
55
00:03:31,916 --> 00:03:34,291
-Scary.
-Not wanting to be belittled, I go…
56
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-"Where's your elementary school?!"
-That young?!
57
00:03:36,708 --> 00:03:39,958
-"We go to Adachi Elementary School."
-They're girls?!
58
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"What?! Adachi?!"
59
00:03:41,541 --> 00:03:44,916
-Why were you scared?
-"My uncle is the vice-principal there!"
60
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How embarrassing!
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They were only
elementary school girls. Gee!
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You always tell this story.
63
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Listen, you fools.
64
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We're doing manzai here!
65
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Shut up and listen, you fools!
66
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Whoa, hey, what are you saying?
67
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I'm sorry. He's just kidding!
68
00:04:12,458 --> 00:04:16,416
Anyway, let's talk about
Mr. Shigeo Nagashima's retirement.
69
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That quote was quite touching, wasn't it?
70
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You look like a dog's balls, you bastard.
71
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That's not how it went…
72
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Hey, I'm talking about you right there!
73
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-What's with the chitchatting?
-Oh, yeah!
74
00:04:30,041 --> 00:04:32,958
-I'll show you…
-If it's such a funny story…
75
00:04:33,041 --> 00:04:35,666
-…a little magic.
-…come up here and share it.
76
00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:39,791
-It's just an ordinary…
-Come on. It's funny, right?
77
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-Hey!
-…handkerchief.
78
00:04:41,916 --> 00:04:43,875
-Enough!
-You've drunk too much.
79
00:04:43,958 --> 00:04:45,875
-Hey, stop it.
-Get out of my way!
80
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If I wrap it around like this…
81
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,791
Who do you think you are?!
82
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,875
…and blow on it…
83
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I'm a comedian, you fool.
84
00:05:01,916 --> 00:05:03,916
Behold! A flower!
85
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I recently got in a fight with some.
We bumped shoulders.
86
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-They had metal bats.
-That's scary.
87
00:05:36,708 --> 00:05:37,875
Not wanting to be…
88
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-That young?!
-"We go to Adachi Elementary School."
89
00:05:48,291 --> 00:05:50,000
They're girls?!
90
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:53,291
"What?! Adachi?!
My uncle is the vice-principal there!"
91
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:31,125
TAKESHI-KIYOSHI
92
00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:37,916
Hello. We're Shokakuya Takeshi-Kiyoshi.
Nice to meet you.
93
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I like Nagoya.
94
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Yeah, we've never been here before.
95
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We're from Asakusa, Tokyo.
96
00:06:43,833 --> 00:06:45,083
At strip clubs…
97
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Get out!
98
00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:47,916
Go away, you punks!
99
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There!
100
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You bastards!
101
00:07:12,791 --> 00:07:14,625
-They had metal bats.
-Scary.
102
00:07:14,708 --> 00:07:16,583
Not wanting to be belittled, I go…
103
00:07:16,666 --> 00:07:19,458
-"Where's your elementary school?!"
-That young?!
104
00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:24,375
Mister. What's the matter?
105
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:27,375
Oh, I wanna go to the bathroom real quick.
106
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Can't I?
107
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,500
Oh, no. Go ahead.
108
00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:58,708
Sorry. Did I butt in too late earlier?
109
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It's better if you interrupt me.
110
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Yeah, I thought so.
111
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Not wanting to be belittled, I go…
112
00:08:34,041 --> 00:08:36,208
-"Where's your elementary school?!"
-That young?!
113
00:08:36,291 --> 00:08:39,500
-"We go to Adachi Elementary School."
-They're girls?!
114
00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:42,208
-"What?! Adachi?!"
-Why are you scared?
115
00:08:42,291 --> 00:08:46,375
-"My uncle is the vice-principal there!"
-How embarrassing!
116
00:08:55,375 --> 00:08:58,375
They reserved us a room
at this kinky-looking hotel?
117
00:08:59,083 --> 00:09:02,041
Well, it's better than
a bench at a train station.
118
00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:11,791
What are we doing?
119
00:09:14,541 --> 00:09:19,375
Should we go back to France-za?
Apologize to Master?
120
00:09:20,958 --> 00:09:25,166
I heard he's saying, "If Take comes,
don't let him into the theater."
121
00:09:25,791 --> 00:09:27,291
That's not an option then.
122
00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:38,500
Why did you make it rotate?
123
00:09:39,541 --> 00:09:41,958
Well, because it rotates.
124
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What do you mean by that?
125
00:10:05,416 --> 00:10:08,875
TWO YEARS EARLIER
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00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:11,333
ASAKUSA
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Hey, Master!
Yesterday's last race was a big upset.
128
00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:31,750
I bought two-eight.
129
00:10:31,833 --> 00:10:34,250
Let's celebrate at my restaurant tonight!
130
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:36,750
You fool. As if I could use it all there.
131
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:39,500
I wanna say that someday! Bye!
132
00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:40,416
Bye!
133
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,916
Master, good morning.
134
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,583
-Hey. Beautiful as always.
-Am I?
135
00:10:44,666 --> 00:10:47,375
-I'm talking about the cleaning.
-Oh, come on!
136
00:10:48,666 --> 00:10:50,291
Good morning.
137
00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:57,083
Leading by the strings of the moon,
138
00:10:57,166 --> 00:11:00,041
I'll cut the darkness
with my itching sword.
139
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:02,916
I am the third generation, Tsukikage--
140
00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:07,125
It's a shame… You fool!
141
00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:09,166
You cut me too soon!
142
00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:12,041
I was giving a cool speech.
Wait until I finish.
143
00:11:12,125 --> 00:11:13,041
I'm sorry.
144
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:17,166
I am the third generation,
Tsukikage Musashi!
145
00:11:21,250 --> 00:11:22,375
You're late!
146
00:11:23,125 --> 00:11:24,750
Attack me at the right time!
147
00:11:24,833 --> 00:11:26,958
"Tsukikage Musashi." Pow! Then, yah!
148
00:11:27,041 --> 00:11:27,875
I'm sorry.
149
00:11:27,958 --> 00:11:29,250
Tsukikage Musashi!
150
00:11:29,333 --> 00:11:30,208
Pow!
151
00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:32,166
Don't say it out loud, you fool!
152
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:35,208
That makes the duel so idiotic!
Say it to yourself!
153
00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:36,125
I'm sorry.
154
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,833
Tsukikage Musashi!
155
00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:40,083
You're wide open!
156
00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:44,833
No, stop it. Why are you
showing your butt to the audience?
157
00:11:44,916 --> 00:11:47,416
Turn your head. Show your face as you die!
158
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,833
-I'm sorry!
-Come on!
159
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,375
You're wide open!
160
00:11:55,791 --> 00:11:59,541
{\an8}GREAT MARCH OF THE NUDES
161
00:11:59,625 --> 00:12:02,750
TODAY'S PERFORMANCES
162
00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:05,250
SENZABURO FUKAMI, TROUPE DIRECTOR
163
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:14,958
Ma'am.
164
00:12:16,291 --> 00:12:19,333
What's going on with that thing?
About Master…
165
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,583
Steamed cakes?
166
00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:34,875
I didn't come to Asakusa
to be an elevator boy.
167
00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,750
I know.
168
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:39,416
Oh, welcome!
169
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,166
-It's 800 yen.
-800 yen, okay.
170
00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:45,916
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
171
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:48,833
Enjoy.
172
00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:53,500
Hi. Oh, it's unusual for you
to be here this early.
173
00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:55,458
I'm working nights from this month.
174
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:57,666
Enjoy.
175
00:12:59,541 --> 00:13:01,166
ASAKUSA FRANCE-ZA
176
00:13:06,958 --> 00:13:09,208
Leading by the strings of the moon,
177
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:13,791
I'll cut the darkness
with my itching sword.
178
00:13:13,875 --> 00:13:16,833
I am Tsukikage Musashi.
179
00:13:20,541 --> 00:13:23,750
You're late, you fool!
I've already finished saying it.
180
00:13:25,666 --> 00:13:27,208
You're late, you fool!
181
00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:29,250
Loved
182
00:13:30,916 --> 00:13:32,625
Dumped
183
00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:36,791
Forgotten
184
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:39,916
In the corner of the room
185
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:44,208
I
186
00:13:45,416 --> 00:13:47,625
Commit
187
00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:50,916
Myself
188
00:13:52,375 --> 00:13:54,166
To you
189
00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:58,916
That was
190
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:03,458
Transient love
191
00:14:05,416 --> 00:14:11,791
Just a passing fancy
192
00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:18,541
I don't know why
But I don't want to think so
193
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:26,583
That makes my heart wrench so bad
194
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:34,083
Like a doll
195
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:40,708
Covered in dust
196
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:47,250
Waiting impatiently
197
00:14:48,333 --> 00:14:54,041
Weeping floods of tears
In the corner of the room
198
00:14:55,291 --> 00:15:02,083
I commit myself
199
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:08,375
To you
200
00:15:09,583 --> 00:15:16,000
I commit myself
201
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:22,416
To you
202
00:15:43,875 --> 00:15:44,916
Hi.
203
00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:46,333
Who are you?
204
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:53,166
Well, I'm living in the dressing room now
and I heard you singing…
205
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,916
Oh, you're the elevator boy.
206
00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:01,708
What do you want?
207
00:16:05,208 --> 00:16:08,083
Well, I'm not here for anything.
208
00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:15,916
You're… a good singer.
209
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,208
I won't let you bang me.
210
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:18,750
What?
211
00:16:20,666 --> 00:16:23,500
I just said, "You're a good singer."
212
00:16:24,375 --> 00:16:26,458
But you thought you could bang me.
213
00:16:29,541 --> 00:16:31,500
No, I didn't!
214
00:16:34,958 --> 00:16:38,833
I mean, why would I think like that?
215
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:50,000
I tell you, it's a big mistake
to assume that all men think about that.
216
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,375
Oh, can I bang you?
217
00:17:10,416 --> 00:17:14,416
Could you at least listen to
what he has to say? You know him.
218
00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:22,416
Fine. But is he worth it?
219
00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:26,083
-Oh, it's him!
-Good morning.
220
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:28,625
We were just talking about you, Take.
221
00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:30,666
Please give me your support!
222
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,958
Hmm…
223
00:17:32,833 --> 00:17:34,916
And? What kind of skill do you have?
224
00:17:35,666 --> 00:17:36,500
What?
225
00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:39,583
An artistic skill.
You wanna be a performer, right?
226
00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:41,458
What kind of skill do you have?
227
00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:45,416
Nothing in particular.
228
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:49,958
What?! You fool! Are you messing with me?
229
00:17:50,041 --> 00:17:52,583
You can't become a showman
without any skills.
230
00:17:52,666 --> 00:17:53,500
I'm sorry.
231
00:17:53,583 --> 00:17:58,750
Whether it's singing or dancing,
you must have a skill to perform onstage.
232
00:18:00,208 --> 00:18:03,750
Oh, but I like jazz.
I used to work part-time at a jazz cafe.
233
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,375
Oh, can you play it?
234
00:18:05,458 --> 00:18:06,333
No, I listen.
235
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:08,875
What good is that?!
You wanna be a spectator?
236
00:18:08,958 --> 00:18:11,875
I thought you wanted to be a performer.
237
00:18:13,791 --> 00:18:14,625
That's right.
238
00:18:14,708 --> 00:18:18,666
Don't just clam up.
Entertainers need to have quick comebacks.
239
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:21,458
-You can't even do that…
-Now, now, Master.
240
00:18:21,541 --> 00:18:24,958
You suddenly asked him about his skill
so he's confused.
241
00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:32,166
I'm sorry, but go ask someone else.
242
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,833
I don't want anyone else!
243
00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:47,291
I really like your skits, Master.
244
00:18:51,375 --> 00:18:53,708
I've seen various comedians' skits,
245
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,708
but Master's skits are the best.
246
00:18:59,708 --> 00:19:00,875
It's like…
247
00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:05,250
even if it's the same pun,
248
00:19:06,541 --> 00:19:10,208
you can make it way funnier
than other people.
249
00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:16,125
You talk like you know a lot about comedy.
250
00:19:16,208 --> 00:19:19,666
Gee. My skits are the best?
251
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:23,333
You don't know anything about comedy,
you little shit.
252
00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:27,125
What's so funny?!
253
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:30,500
Nothing. Do you want some steamed cakes?
254
00:19:30,583 --> 00:19:32,166
No I don't, you fool!
255
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:39,750
Hey!
256
00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:42,041
Isn't this your job?!
257
00:19:42,125 --> 00:19:43,333
Oh, I'm sorry.
258
00:20:02,541 --> 00:20:03,416
What?
259
00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:05,166
Here.
260
00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:07,125
Okay.
261
00:21:04,708 --> 00:21:06,583
That's what an artistic skill is.
262
00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:10,625
If you're serious, I'll teach you.
263
00:21:19,416 --> 00:21:21,708
Oh, hey! Give me back my bag, you fool!
264
00:21:22,208 --> 00:21:24,250
-Hey!
-Oh, okay!
265
00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:26,375
-My bag!
-I'll bring it to you!
266
00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:29,250
KING AND QUEEN
CHIHARU
267
00:22:35,541 --> 00:22:37,208
Fukami, come on.
268
00:24:05,666 --> 00:24:07,333
It's starting to look good.
269
00:24:07,958 --> 00:24:08,875
Yeah?
270
00:24:10,375 --> 00:24:11,291
Here.
271
00:24:29,041 --> 00:24:30,250
Stop it.
272
00:24:32,458 --> 00:24:36,000
That "I'm enjoying my youth" look.
It's embarrassing to watch.
273
00:24:36,083 --> 00:24:37,250
Oh, shut up.
274
00:24:40,625 --> 00:24:42,125
-Anyway…
-You can't bang me.
275
00:24:42,208 --> 00:24:43,583
I wasn't gonna say that.
276
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:49,000
Why are you working here as…
277
00:24:50,416 --> 00:24:51,250
You know.
278
00:24:53,458 --> 00:24:54,291
A stripper?
279
00:24:57,125 --> 00:24:58,208
I've forgotten.
280
00:24:59,791 --> 00:25:03,208
I was traveling around Japan
acting and singing in a troupe,
281
00:25:03,708 --> 00:25:05,625
but I found myself dancing naked.
282
00:25:07,916 --> 00:25:09,125
So you were a singer.
283
00:25:11,333 --> 00:25:13,250
No wonder you can sing so well.
284
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:18,291
Anyone can do as much.
285
00:25:27,791 --> 00:25:30,791
I envy you. You're still at the beginning.
286
00:25:35,666 --> 00:25:37,125
No… Never mind.
287
00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:41,333
Continue.
288
00:25:57,583 --> 00:25:58,416
Hey, Take.
289
00:25:59,291 --> 00:26:00,416
-Yes?
-You're on.
290
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:01,333
What?
291
00:26:01,916 --> 00:26:04,666
Kiyoshi can't go on, so Master wants you.
292
00:26:04,750 --> 00:26:05,625
But…
293
00:26:06,208 --> 00:26:07,250
This is your chance.
294
00:26:07,333 --> 00:26:09,791
Hurry up or Master will change his mind.
295
00:26:10,375 --> 00:26:12,583
Go. I'll handle the elevator for you.
296
00:26:12,666 --> 00:26:13,708
-Thanks.
-Mm-hm.
297
00:26:14,375 --> 00:26:15,375
A cocktail waitress?
298
00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:19,083
Yeah. I'm the aniki and Takayama
is my sworn younger brother.
299
00:26:19,166 --> 00:26:24,041
And after Takayama leaves, I'll say,
"I've got to pick up a hot chick, too,"
300
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:25,458
then, you walk by.
301
00:26:27,166 --> 00:26:28,208
Then what?
302
00:26:28,875 --> 00:26:31,458
It depends on the audience reaction.
303
00:26:31,541 --> 00:26:32,875
I have to improvise?
304
00:26:32,958 --> 00:26:37,375
Yeah, I'll tell you what to do
so just go along with it.
305
00:26:38,666 --> 00:26:40,041
Just go along?
306
00:26:40,125 --> 00:26:42,583
Can you remember your lines then?
307
00:26:42,666 --> 00:26:45,166
Huh? Can you?!
308
00:26:45,958 --> 00:26:47,666
Then go get ready!
309
00:26:47,750 --> 00:26:48,708
Okay.
310
00:27:00,083 --> 00:27:01,041
Hey, Take.
311
00:27:01,958 --> 00:27:03,500
-Yes?
-What are you doing?
312
00:27:04,875 --> 00:27:08,875
-Well, I'm a cocktail waitress…
-You fool! Remove it now!
313
00:27:09,375 --> 00:27:11,416
-But I should be…
-Just remove it!
314
00:27:15,291 --> 00:27:18,958
Listen, Take. Comedians must
get a laugh with their skill.
315
00:27:19,041 --> 00:27:23,250
If we wanna get it with a funny face,
we can put some ugly person onstage.
316
00:27:24,666 --> 00:27:27,000
If you're a comedian get into your role.
317
00:27:27,083 --> 00:27:29,583
There's no waitress
who tries to look ugly.
318
00:27:30,708 --> 00:27:33,166
"I'll be the most beautiful in the world!"
319
00:27:33,250 --> 00:27:35,458
Put on your makeup with that spirit.
320
00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:37,625
I'm sorry.
321
00:27:38,125 --> 00:27:41,875
I don't know about other troupes,
but if you wanna work under me,
322
00:27:42,625 --> 00:27:44,125
don't be laughed at.
323
00:27:45,708 --> 00:27:47,000
Make them laugh.
324
00:27:50,916 --> 00:27:51,791
Okay.
325
00:27:53,666 --> 00:27:54,708
Remove it.
326
00:28:01,833 --> 00:28:03,666
-Aniki.
-Yeah.
327
00:28:03,750 --> 00:28:06,291
I picked up a hot chick thanks to you.
328
00:28:06,375 --> 00:28:07,208
You sure did.
329
00:28:07,291 --> 00:28:10,875
I'm gonna go to a hotel
with that chick now.
330
00:28:10,958 --> 00:28:12,166
Yeah, go ahead.
331
00:28:16,458 --> 00:28:20,625
All right. I've got to pick up
a hot chick for myself too.
332
00:28:20,708 --> 00:28:22,250
Oh, here comes one now.
333
00:28:23,833 --> 00:28:27,583
Hey, Miss, would you like
to hang out with me?
334
00:28:27,666 --> 00:28:29,250
Yes, thank you.
335
00:28:29,333 --> 00:28:31,041
Oh, thank you.
336
00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:34,875
The skit's gonna end!
337
00:28:35,791 --> 00:28:39,125
You have to reject it.
No, you must ignore me and go past.
338
00:28:39,208 --> 00:28:42,208
This guy is so shady,
so you should just ignore him.
339
00:28:42,291 --> 00:28:43,166
-Ignore?
-Got it?
340
00:28:43,250 --> 00:28:44,250
Okay.
341
00:28:44,333 --> 00:28:47,250
Hey, Miss, would you like
to hang out with me?
342
00:28:50,541 --> 00:28:52,041
Say something!
343
00:28:52,125 --> 00:28:55,833
-You told me to ignore…
-No, you must say something. Come back!
344
00:28:55,916 --> 00:28:58,875
If we don't talk at all,
this skit's not gonna work.
345
00:28:59,791 --> 00:29:02,666
Miss, do you have something to do?
346
00:29:09,458 --> 00:29:11,500
Just say something!
347
00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:14,375
If you're a comedian,
just say something. Say it!
348
00:29:14,458 --> 00:29:17,750
I… I was gonna go shopping.
349
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,958
Hey, you, right there.
Don't applaud unnecessarily.
350
00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:26,166
Getting applause for that
isn't good for him.
351
00:29:26,250 --> 00:29:30,291
Hey, I paid to see this!
Don't tell me what to do.
352
00:29:30,791 --> 00:29:32,458
Who do you think you are?
353
00:29:35,583 --> 00:29:37,583
I'm a comedian, you fool.
354
00:29:40,083 --> 00:29:44,333
We don't ask you to watch us.
We offer you comedy. So shut up and watch!
355
00:29:49,875 --> 00:29:51,791
Why are you the one shutting up?!
356
00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:56,166
You're a comedian, so speak.
Say something funny.
357
00:29:57,375 --> 00:30:01,000
What?! Excuse me?
Oh, do you wanna spend a night with me?
358
00:30:01,083 --> 00:30:05,708
What are you doing all of a sudden?!
There's no such chick! And you're a guy!
359
00:30:05,791 --> 00:30:09,250
HOGEISEN
360
00:30:15,375 --> 00:30:17,458
Take, how was your first performance?
361
00:30:17,541 --> 00:30:18,583
Awful.
362
00:30:19,291 --> 00:30:22,541
Master ragged me after that
like, "You suck!"
363
00:30:22,625 --> 00:30:25,166
He's a narrow-minded old man.
364
00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:26,083
He really is.
365
00:30:26,166 --> 00:30:27,041
Hey!
366
00:30:28,708 --> 00:30:29,833
Oh, sorry.
367
00:30:29,916 --> 00:30:34,750
It's okay. I'm with that guy all the time.
Can you imagine?
368
00:30:35,666 --> 00:30:37,250
I respect you for that.
369
00:30:39,166 --> 00:30:43,041
Oh, Inoue. Have you finished writing
the skit you told me about?
370
00:30:43,125 --> 00:30:46,416
Oh, yes, a rough outline.
I'll ask Master to read it tomorrow.
371
00:30:46,500 --> 00:30:48,375
Give me a good role.
372
00:30:49,041 --> 00:30:51,666
Oh, yeah. Inoue, you're a writer.
373
00:30:51,750 --> 00:30:56,666
No, I'm just an aspiring writer
I hope I can become one someday.
374
00:30:56,750 --> 00:31:00,083
Hmm… I'm jealous that you all have dreams.
375
00:31:00,166 --> 00:31:03,750
What are you talking about?
You wanna be a singer, right?
376
00:31:03,833 --> 00:31:06,291
You said you'd sing at the Japan Theatre.
377
00:31:06,375 --> 00:31:07,625
But that's--
378
00:31:07,708 --> 00:31:10,875
Well, she's secretly
practicing after the shows.
379
00:31:10,958 --> 00:31:14,083
Shut up. You don't have to tell them that.
380
00:31:14,708 --> 00:31:16,583
Hey, everyone, eat more.
381
00:31:16,666 --> 00:31:19,875
As they say,
"Eat gei and polish your gei."
382
00:31:19,958 --> 00:31:20,875
"Gei"?
383
00:31:21,541 --> 00:31:23,750
"Gei" means both "whale" and "skill."
384
00:31:23,833 --> 00:31:25,416
-I see.
-Don't act smart.
385
00:31:25,500 --> 00:31:28,250
You asked me how to read it before.
386
00:31:28,333 --> 00:31:30,666
I don't know what you're talking about.
387
00:31:30,750 --> 00:31:32,333
Don't play dumb.
388
00:31:32,416 --> 00:31:33,583
Here, eat this.
389
00:31:33,666 --> 00:31:36,125
-Yeah, eat up.
-Here, Take, eat this, too.
390
00:31:36,208 --> 00:31:38,291
-Here, Take.
-I'll eat them. Thanks.
391
00:31:38,375 --> 00:31:39,333
Thanks.
392
00:31:42,708 --> 00:31:45,166
Anyway, we only have a small audience.
393
00:31:46,708 --> 00:31:48,833
It's the age of TV now.
394
00:31:50,250 --> 00:31:52,541
Master doesn't like it though.
395
00:31:52,625 --> 00:31:55,333
He said it's not suited for performances.
396
00:31:55,416 --> 00:31:56,500
Yeah.
397
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:02,458
And only old people go to strip clubs now.
398
00:32:04,208 --> 00:32:05,333
Oh, wait a sec.
399
00:32:09,041 --> 00:32:10,583
What are you doing?
400
00:32:10,666 --> 00:32:13,041
Sending a threatening letter
to demand money?
401
00:32:13,125 --> 00:32:14,458
It's for my mother.
402
00:32:15,708 --> 00:32:19,750
I left home saying
I was gonna be a writer.
403
00:32:20,833 --> 00:32:23,875
So I at least want them
to know that I'm alive.
404
00:32:25,416 --> 00:32:29,125
Could you write a letter
to my mother for me?
405
00:32:29,208 --> 00:32:32,333
You're from Umejima.
You can walk there from here.
406
00:32:36,208 --> 00:32:38,708
I broke free from my old life.
407
00:32:41,083 --> 00:32:42,000
What?
408
00:32:43,333 --> 00:32:48,416
I dropped out of college and I had nothing
to do, so I worked part-time for a living.
409
00:32:49,958 --> 00:32:55,000
The people who were so involved in
the student protests are now wearing ties.
410
00:32:55,500 --> 00:32:57,708
Everyone's so shrewd and calculating.
411
00:32:57,791 --> 00:32:59,208
Gee.
412
00:33:00,375 --> 00:33:03,958
And I'm living like a vagabond.
413
00:33:04,916 --> 00:33:08,166
I feel pathetic and frustrated.
414
00:33:09,583 --> 00:33:11,541
That's why I came to Asakusa.
415
00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:16,208
To break free from my old life
and become a comedian.
416
00:33:18,041 --> 00:33:20,458
Quit college to be a comedian?
What a waste.
417
00:33:21,541 --> 00:33:23,750
It's more wasteful to not do anything.
418
00:33:25,750 --> 00:33:28,875
That's how dreamers think
and end up dying in a ditch.
419
00:33:32,458 --> 00:33:35,333
Then, I'll die in a funny way
and make you laugh.
420
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,250
Wanna pay a visit to the temple?
421
00:33:44,166 --> 00:33:45,791
Can I borrow some money?
422
00:33:45,875 --> 00:33:50,291
Hey, normal people don't make a wish
with other people's money.
423
00:33:50,375 --> 00:33:51,208
Just a little?
424
00:33:51,291 --> 00:33:52,916
-You have money.
-No, I don't.
425
00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,416
No, I know you have at least five yen.
426
00:33:55,500 --> 00:33:56,333
I don't.
427
00:34:05,750 --> 00:34:07,750
Mari!
428
00:34:24,583 --> 00:34:27,291
It was great! Mari, you were beautiful!
429
00:34:27,375 --> 00:34:29,250
You mean it? I'm so happy!
430
00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:32,375
-Here's the usual.
-Thank you. Come back again.
431
00:34:32,458 --> 00:34:34,416
-Mm-hm.
-Don't go anywhere else.
432
00:34:34,500 --> 00:34:36,458
I only love you, Mari! See you!
433
00:34:36,541 --> 00:34:38,333
Thank you very much!
434
00:34:41,375 --> 00:34:43,208
Take! Take!
435
00:34:43,958 --> 00:34:45,291
That was a good show.
436
00:34:45,375 --> 00:34:48,625
-You studied engineering at school, right?
-Yes.
437
00:34:48,708 --> 00:34:50,708
Then, are you good with machines?
438
00:34:51,500 --> 00:34:53,750
No, I only went to college for a week.
439
00:34:53,833 --> 00:34:56,791
The rotating platform's broken.
Can you take a look?
440
00:34:56,875 --> 00:34:59,375
-But I'm not…
-Oh, Mr. Miyoshi!
441
00:34:59,458 --> 00:35:00,958
I'll leave it to you.
442
00:35:01,041 --> 00:35:04,375
I got this from someone.
Share it with Inoue.
443
00:35:05,791 --> 00:35:10,458
Thank you very much!
I'm so happy to see you!
444
00:35:35,583 --> 00:35:36,416
Hey.
445
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:03,875
Is it fixed?
446
00:36:04,458 --> 00:36:06,541
I've never done it, so I don't know.
447
00:36:16,958 --> 00:36:19,083
I'm impressed, Mr. Engineer.
448
00:36:19,166 --> 00:36:20,375
Shut up.
449
00:37:08,916 --> 00:37:10,958
KING AND QUEEN
CHIHARU
450
00:38:51,916 --> 00:38:53,750
Master. I'm sorry, I'll just…
451
00:40:00,666 --> 00:40:01,625
Hey, Take!
452
00:40:03,875 --> 00:40:05,208
Master was here!
453
00:40:14,416 --> 00:40:15,458
Master!
454
00:40:16,916 --> 00:40:18,333
I'm sorry!
455
00:40:20,333 --> 00:40:22,708
You're pissing me off, you bastard.
456
00:40:24,125 --> 00:40:28,333
All right. You can have those shoes.
457
00:40:28,875 --> 00:40:29,708
What?
458
00:40:30,375 --> 00:40:33,333
How can I wear shoes
that were worn by an amateur?!
459
00:40:35,041 --> 00:40:36,166
Thank you!
460
00:40:36,666 --> 00:40:37,583
It's 500 yen.
461
00:40:38,750 --> 00:40:41,625
What?
I thought you were gonna give them to me.
462
00:40:41,708 --> 00:40:46,708
You brazen bastard. Do you know
how much they are? Why would I--
463
00:40:46,791 --> 00:40:48,875
Never mind. I'll buy them.
464
00:40:49,791 --> 00:40:51,125
Thank you very much.
465
00:40:51,708 --> 00:40:53,666
-Gee.
-Oh, Master!
466
00:40:54,375 --> 00:40:55,583
Um…
467
00:40:56,541 --> 00:40:58,583
Could you teach me other steps?
468
00:41:00,375 --> 00:41:02,000
I refuse, you fool.
469
00:41:03,041 --> 00:41:03,875
What?
470
00:41:05,916 --> 00:41:07,875
There are no more steps to teach!
471
00:41:12,708 --> 00:41:14,083
Come see me tomorrow.
472
00:41:16,041 --> 00:41:17,458
Don't forget the 500 yen!
473
00:41:23,041 --> 00:41:24,750
-Good morning!
-Morning!
474
00:41:24,833 --> 00:41:26,291
Have some sponge cakes.
475
00:41:26,375 --> 00:41:28,208
-Yum!
-Yay!
476
00:41:29,000 --> 00:41:29,875
What?
477
00:41:30,916 --> 00:41:32,250
Didn't you hear?
478
00:41:33,041 --> 00:41:36,166
I'll let you perform officially
as a comedian.
479
00:41:36,666 --> 00:41:39,500
Really? Thank you very much.
480
00:41:39,583 --> 00:41:40,958
You did it, Take.
481
00:41:42,125 --> 00:41:44,875
You're now a stage manager, too.
Don't collapse.
482
00:41:44,958 --> 00:41:46,708
A stage manager?
483
00:41:46,791 --> 00:41:51,208
Setting and removing props, picking up
costumes… Basically any odd job.
484
00:41:51,958 --> 00:41:54,000
If you have any questions, ask him.
485
00:41:54,708 --> 00:41:55,791
Please teach me.
486
00:41:56,875 --> 00:42:01,458
Also, you haven't got a place and
been sleeping in the dressing room, right?
487
00:42:01,541 --> 00:42:02,541
Yes.
488
00:42:02,625 --> 00:42:06,875
The room below ours just
became vacant, so I rented it for you.
489
00:42:07,750 --> 00:42:10,291
Thank you. Thank you for everything.
490
00:42:10,375 --> 00:42:13,250
-All right, let's just start with this.
-Okay.
491
00:42:15,291 --> 00:42:18,250
Now, I think I'm gonna take a break…
492
00:42:18,333 --> 00:42:19,541
-Takayama.
-Yes?
493
00:42:19,625 --> 00:42:21,333
-Polish my shoes.
-What?
494
00:42:21,416 --> 00:42:22,250
Got a problem?
495
00:42:54,708 --> 00:42:56,208
-Really?
-Yay!
496
00:42:56,291 --> 00:42:57,291
I should do it.
497
00:42:57,375 --> 00:42:59,500
-Great! Let's do it.
-It's no good.
498
00:42:59,583 --> 00:43:01,125
-You sure?
-Yes.
499
00:43:01,208 --> 00:43:04,000
Because Hiro said he wanted to wear it.
500
00:43:04,083 --> 00:43:05,583
Next, Chiharu, you're up.
501
00:43:05,666 --> 00:43:06,625
Okay.
502
00:43:10,375 --> 00:43:12,916
Oh, Take, could you zip it up?
503
00:43:15,541 --> 00:43:17,875
-Today's audience is a bit tough.
-I see.
504
00:43:18,541 --> 00:43:20,375
Then I'm gonna go do my best.
505
00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:33,708
NUMBER 2 MATSUKURA APARTMENT
506
00:43:35,875 --> 00:43:41,208
Well, it's for Room 102 and this room,
so the change is…
507
00:43:41,291 --> 00:43:43,250
Oh, no. Keep it.
508
00:43:43,333 --> 00:43:47,791
Yeah? Thank you as always, Master.
509
00:43:48,458 --> 00:43:51,416
-Okay, good night.
-Yeah.
510
00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:53,583
Mari. Good night.
511
00:43:53,666 --> 00:43:56,333
Yes, thanks. Good night.
512
00:43:56,416 --> 00:43:57,458
Thanks.
513
00:44:02,875 --> 00:44:04,375
How's Take?
514
00:44:04,458 --> 00:44:05,375
What?
515
00:44:06,458 --> 00:44:07,500
Oh…
516
00:44:08,166 --> 00:44:10,875
Well, I don't know yet.
517
00:44:11,375 --> 00:44:15,416
But you're even paying for his rent,
so you have high hopes for him.
518
00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:17,833
Yeah, I sort of do.
519
00:44:19,041 --> 00:44:22,458
Maybe he'll become successful.
520
00:44:27,250 --> 00:44:28,166
Hey.
521
00:44:30,666 --> 00:44:32,791
I think I'll work as a geisha.
522
00:44:33,708 --> 00:44:34,541
What?
523
00:44:35,125 --> 00:44:38,000
I can make more money as a geisha
than as a dancer.
524
00:44:38,083 --> 00:44:42,291
What are you talking about?
You don't have to worry about that.
525
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,125
Then who's gonna worry about it?
526
00:44:45,208 --> 00:44:48,791
Hm? Are you gonna worry about it for me?
527
00:44:50,416 --> 00:44:52,833
-Are you?
-It's gonna be alright.
528
00:44:52,916 --> 00:44:56,000
People will come back to the theater
soon enough.
529
00:44:56,666 --> 00:45:00,750
Because, after all, I'm Fukami of Asakusa.
530
00:45:04,708 --> 00:45:10,000
Well, the thing is if you become
a geisha, you'll get popular.
531
00:45:10,083 --> 00:45:14,791
Then I think I'll go see you every day.
I'll end up spending money anyway.
532
00:45:15,875 --> 00:45:17,958
Right, Mari?
533
00:45:18,458 --> 00:45:20,166
I'll end up spending money.
534
00:45:21,875 --> 00:45:26,125
I think you better make the introduction
easier to understand.
535
00:45:26,208 --> 00:45:30,791
But if you explain things too much
you'll end up spoiling the joke.
536
00:45:30,875 --> 00:45:31,916
You're right.
537
00:45:32,666 --> 00:45:36,291
But I think that's okay,
so let's give it a try…
538
00:45:38,041 --> 00:45:40,416
-I don't really like it.
-Why?
539
00:45:48,125 --> 00:45:50,625
-All right. I'll be back soon.
-Okay.
540
00:45:52,833 --> 00:45:55,541
Oh, right.
541
00:45:57,250 --> 00:45:58,875
What should I do?
542
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:28,833
Here.
543
00:46:30,166 --> 00:46:33,333
Thanks. Need anything on the way back?
544
00:46:34,541 --> 00:46:35,833
A mink fur.
545
00:46:37,666 --> 00:46:40,791
Okay. Sorry if I come back
with a mikan orange peel.
546
00:46:41,875 --> 00:46:43,541
I said a mink fur!
547
00:46:46,083 --> 00:46:48,166
No, it's just how you do it…
548
00:46:48,250 --> 00:46:49,583
Oh, Master, hi.
549
00:46:49,666 --> 00:46:52,833
Oh, it's you guys. What are you doing?
550
00:46:53,333 --> 00:46:55,541
Well, we were rehearsing our skit.
551
00:46:55,625 --> 00:46:58,625
Rehearsing?
Sounds like you guys are already pros.
552
00:46:58,708 --> 00:47:00,458
Good timing. Wanna go eat?
553
00:47:00,541 --> 00:47:04,041
Good timing?
Master, you said the same thing yesterday.
554
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:06,083
Shut up, you idiot.
555
00:47:06,166 --> 00:47:08,041
-Do you wanna go or not?
-I'll go.
556
00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:09,375
-Me, too.
-I'm hungry.
557
00:47:09,458 --> 00:47:11,000
Then say so from the start.
558
00:47:11,625 --> 00:47:12,875
What do you wanna eat?
559
00:47:12,958 --> 00:47:14,375
-Sushi.
-Sushi.
560
00:47:14,458 --> 00:47:18,708
Sushi? Why don't you guys
say something more reasonable?
561
00:47:18,791 --> 00:47:20,333
-Eel?
-That's no different.
562
00:47:20,416 --> 00:47:22,291
-Reasonable.
-They're both expensive.
563
00:47:23,125 --> 00:47:24,625
Udon sounds good, right?
564
00:47:28,833 --> 00:47:30,791
Here is your beer.
565
00:47:30,875 --> 00:47:33,333
No, no. You don't need to pour it.
566
00:47:35,416 --> 00:47:36,500
Just eat.
567
00:47:39,541 --> 00:47:44,083
Guys, I've been wanting to mention this,
but what are you wearing?
568
00:47:44,833 --> 00:47:45,750
What?
569
00:47:45,833 --> 00:47:48,208
Comedians must wear nice clothes.
570
00:47:48,708 --> 00:47:53,291
No matter how foolish you act onstage,
you should be cool offstage.
571
00:47:53,375 --> 00:47:54,375
Got it?
572
00:47:56,333 --> 00:47:57,875
But I'm a writer…
573
00:47:58,458 --> 00:48:02,541
What? Yeah.
That's why I wasn't talking to you.
574
00:48:02,625 --> 00:48:04,333
But you were talking to him.
575
00:48:04,416 --> 00:48:05,666
Shut up, you idiot!
576
00:48:06,166 --> 00:48:07,375
Listen, Take.
577
00:48:07,458 --> 00:48:09,250
Wear nice clothes.
578
00:48:09,333 --> 00:48:12,541
If you don't eat for three days,
no one'll notice,
579
00:48:12,625 --> 00:48:14,750
but everyone'll notice what you wear.
580
00:48:16,750 --> 00:48:18,500
Then, pay me more.
581
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:23,916
Oh, no. Gee. That's not the point here.
582
00:48:24,416 --> 00:48:27,583
Oh, speaking of which,
you haven't paid me 500 yen yet.
583
00:48:27,666 --> 00:48:28,791
Oh, yeah.
584
00:48:28,875 --> 00:48:31,000
I didn't give them to you for free.
585
00:48:34,375 --> 00:48:36,500
Master, thank you as always.
586
00:48:36,583 --> 00:48:38,333
Sure. Everything was delicious.
587
00:48:38,416 --> 00:48:40,875
-Please come again.
-Thanks for the meal.
588
00:48:41,583 --> 00:48:42,541
You fool!
589
00:48:43,791 --> 00:48:44,875
Look there.
590
00:48:47,708 --> 00:48:49,125
I wanted those.
591
00:48:49,916 --> 00:48:50,750
What?
592
00:48:50,833 --> 00:48:52,250
I'd put them on and say,
593
00:48:52,333 --> 00:48:54,500
"Oh, did I get taller?"
594
00:48:54,583 --> 00:48:56,416
"No, you fool!"
595
00:48:57,250 --> 00:48:58,750
That's how you learn.
596
00:49:00,208 --> 00:49:03,833
If you can't act silly offstage,
you can't do it onstage.
597
00:49:06,458 --> 00:49:08,375
Comedians must always act silly.
598
00:49:09,208 --> 00:49:10,083
Okay.
599
00:49:10,958 --> 00:49:12,583
-Let's go.
-Thank you.
600
00:49:12,666 --> 00:49:14,500
-See you.
-Yes, come again.
601
00:49:26,833 --> 00:49:27,708
Excuse me…
602
00:49:32,541 --> 00:49:36,541
I've been wondering
about Master's left hand…
603
00:49:39,083 --> 00:49:40,791
Oh, about that.
604
00:49:42,791 --> 00:49:47,083
I heard that it happened
at a munition plant during the war.
605
00:49:48,583 --> 00:49:52,000
It got caught in a conveyor belt
and this all got chopped off.
606
00:49:53,708 --> 00:49:55,708
That's why it's always bandaged.
607
00:49:55,791 --> 00:49:57,291
I see.
608
00:50:01,041 --> 00:50:05,541
But he can even play the guitar
with those fingers,
609
00:50:05,625 --> 00:50:07,541
so Master's a hell of a man.
610
00:50:09,166 --> 00:50:10,250
I'm what?
611
00:50:10,333 --> 00:50:13,333
Oh, good morning.
612
00:50:13,416 --> 00:50:14,625
-Move.
-Good morning.
613
00:50:14,708 --> 00:50:16,833
Don't "Good morning" me, you fool.
614
00:50:16,916 --> 00:50:19,541
You were talking behind my back,
you bastard.
615
00:50:19,625 --> 00:50:21,458
No, we weren't.
616
00:50:38,500 --> 00:50:39,416
Master.
617
00:50:41,083 --> 00:50:43,166
-What?
-I just heard from Takayama.
618
00:50:44,541 --> 00:50:45,833
About your left hand.
619
00:50:48,958 --> 00:50:50,125
What about it?
620
00:50:54,250 --> 00:50:57,375
Did you really eat it
because you were hungry?
621
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:11,333
I'm not an octopus, you fool!
Why would I eat myself?!
622
00:51:11,416 --> 00:51:13,500
I'm not that hungry, you bastard!
623
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:18,833
Okay. But it must be hard to swim.
You can't help but go towards the left.
624
00:51:18,916 --> 00:51:21,958
Yeah, even if I swim hard,
I'll end up where I started.
625
00:51:22,041 --> 00:51:22,875
Shut up!
626
00:51:22,958 --> 00:51:25,416
-I'm actually a good swimmer.
-Yeah?
627
00:51:25,500 --> 00:51:28,333
But when I compete,
I always lose by a touch.
628
00:51:28,416 --> 00:51:30,250
You fool! Don't make me say it!
629
00:51:30,333 --> 00:51:33,791
{\an8}ASAKUSA FRANCE-ZA
630
00:51:33,875 --> 00:51:34,750
You're an adult!
631
00:51:34,833 --> 00:51:37,250
-I'm a child.
-A child? What are you saying?
632
00:51:37,333 --> 00:51:39,500
-How old are you?
-I'm eight.
633
00:51:39,583 --> 00:51:40,541
Eight?!
634
00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:42,583
On all accounts, he's over 30.
635
00:51:42,666 --> 00:51:44,666
What? Old man, I'm really eight.
636
00:51:44,750 --> 00:51:46,083
Eight? No way.
637
00:51:46,166 --> 00:51:49,708
Fine, then what were you doing today?
638
00:51:49,791 --> 00:51:51,666
I went to the zoo today.
639
00:51:51,750 --> 00:51:52,708
The zoo?
640
00:51:52,791 --> 00:51:56,958
There were so many horses,
so I got excited and bet all my money!
641
00:51:57,041 --> 00:52:00,125
That's a horse race.
You don't call it a zoo.
642
00:52:00,208 --> 00:52:05,125
Azuhachi, I'm so impressed.
I heard you're all over TV these days.
643
00:52:05,208 --> 00:52:07,000
No, no.
644
00:52:07,541 --> 00:52:10,166
You impudently became a big star.
645
00:52:10,708 --> 00:52:11,750
Thanks to you.
646
00:52:13,916 --> 00:52:18,708
By the way, that young fellow, Take.
He's improved a lot since I last saw him.
647
00:52:18,791 --> 00:52:20,708
Oh, you think so?
648
00:52:20,791 --> 00:52:25,000
These days, people even come
just to see his skits.
649
00:52:26,416 --> 00:52:29,416
Maybe that punk will become successful.
650
00:52:29,500 --> 00:52:30,625
That's great.
651
00:52:33,291 --> 00:52:34,791
Now, Master.
652
00:52:37,083 --> 00:52:41,250
I kind of heard something
through the grapevine.
653
00:52:45,125 --> 00:52:46,583
It's hard to ask,
654
00:52:48,083 --> 00:52:51,708
but is this theater
in quite serious financial trouble?
655
00:52:52,958 --> 00:52:53,916
What?
656
00:52:57,291 --> 00:52:58,125
That's right.
657
00:52:58,708 --> 00:53:01,333
I mean, it was always in trouble.
658
00:53:03,916 --> 00:53:09,333
The thing is, one of my disciples
is running a company,
659
00:53:10,166 --> 00:53:15,166
and he says he can afford
to hire one person. What do you think?
660
00:53:20,875 --> 00:53:22,208
What do you mean?
661
00:53:22,958 --> 00:53:26,875
Are you telling me
to retire from the stage?
662
00:53:28,291 --> 00:53:29,958
You know it, Master.
663
00:53:30,916 --> 00:53:32,333
It's outdated.
664
00:53:33,291 --> 00:53:37,416
France-za and Asakusa
are losing its people.
665
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,416
It's time to sell this place or close it--
666
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:41,375
Shut up!
667
00:53:42,583 --> 00:53:44,416
It's outdated?
668
00:53:44,958 --> 00:53:46,416
Whose fault is that?!
669
00:53:46,916 --> 00:53:49,875
You fools abandoned Asakusa
and fawn over TV people.
670
00:53:49,958 --> 00:53:53,875
Master, I owe you a lot,
so I just wanted to help you--
671
00:53:53,958 --> 00:53:57,833
You come to see me after a long time
and start talking nonsense?
672
00:53:57,916 --> 00:53:59,125
Leave, you bastard!
673
00:54:00,583 --> 00:54:02,500
-Master--
-I said leave!
674
00:54:07,791 --> 00:54:11,666
It doesn't have to be now.
Please think about it.
675
00:54:21,458 --> 00:54:23,583
It's good to be number one.
676
00:54:23,666 --> 00:54:26,750
Even if you're so-so smart
and go to a so-so college,
677
00:54:26,833 --> 00:54:29,083
you'll end up becoming a so-so teacher.
678
00:54:29,166 --> 00:54:30,583
You making a fool of me?
679
00:54:32,083 --> 00:54:32,916
How was it?
680
00:54:33,833 --> 00:54:34,916
What?
681
00:54:35,791 --> 00:54:37,958
I don't know anything about skits.
682
00:54:38,041 --> 00:54:40,583
Give us your honest opinion.
683
00:54:43,250 --> 00:54:45,083
The first half was funnier.
684
00:54:45,166 --> 00:54:49,500
Yeah, you're right.
It becomes dull halfway through.
685
00:55:01,458 --> 00:55:02,291
What is it?
686
00:55:03,416 --> 00:55:05,416
It's nothing.
687
00:55:08,750 --> 00:55:10,125
Well…
688
00:55:12,166 --> 00:55:16,000
Even stars like Kiyoshi Atsumi
and Kinichi Hagimoto
689
00:55:17,125 --> 00:55:18,791
stood on this stage, right?
690
00:55:20,583 --> 00:55:26,166
That means they were probably
practicing like this right here.
691
00:55:28,291 --> 00:55:31,375
When I think about it,
it's kind of amazing.
692
00:55:33,916 --> 00:55:38,166
Take, do you really think
you can be like Kin-chan?
693
00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:40,416
I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't.
694
00:55:45,916 --> 00:55:49,333
-Why don't you sing, Chiharu?
-What?
695
00:55:49,916 --> 00:55:52,958
I've been thinking about it.
You're a good singer.
696
00:55:53,041 --> 00:55:56,333
In between strips, if we can do skits,
why not singing?
697
00:55:57,125 --> 00:55:58,666
I don't sing anymore…
698
00:55:59,250 --> 00:56:01,375
You're good enough to get paid.
699
00:56:02,708 --> 00:56:04,416
Inoue can play the guitar.
700
00:56:04,500 --> 00:56:05,916
-Right?
-What?
701
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,708
-The guitar?
-Yeah.
702
00:56:08,208 --> 00:56:10,625
Hey, Take, I've fixed this…
703
00:56:13,833 --> 00:56:16,666
I'll talk to Master tomorrow. Okay?
704
00:56:16,750 --> 00:56:18,958
This part, "It'll stain the wall"…
705
00:56:21,083 --> 00:56:23,083
Then, "What brand do you smoke?"
706
00:56:23,583 --> 00:56:26,416
"Dad, give me a drink…"
707
00:56:27,666 --> 00:56:28,750
Okay.
708
00:56:28,833 --> 00:56:29,833
How about it?
709
00:56:31,291 --> 00:56:33,583
-Yeah, and then here we can…
-Yeah.
710
00:56:33,666 --> 00:56:38,000
Next Wednesday, someone became unavailable
so I think Chiharu can fill in.
711
00:56:38,083 --> 00:56:42,666
We have to fill
that 15-minute slot anyway.
712
00:56:43,291 --> 00:56:45,666
Well, I think she's a good singer…
713
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:49,625
Singing?
714
00:56:50,500 --> 00:56:51,708
Well, I don't mind…
715
00:56:51,791 --> 00:56:53,000
Really?
716
00:56:53,583 --> 00:56:55,333
-But, Take--
-Chiharu!
717
00:56:56,416 --> 00:56:57,500
He said yes.
718
00:56:59,708 --> 00:57:00,958
Are you sure?
719
00:57:02,333 --> 00:57:03,166
Yeah.
720
00:57:05,208 --> 00:57:06,916
Thank you very much!
721
00:57:07,000 --> 00:57:09,750
Next Wednesday I'm gonna be the emcee,
722
00:57:09,833 --> 00:57:13,208
and I'll introduce you, like boom…
723
00:57:22,541 --> 00:57:25,875
-Inoue, I'm counting on you.
-Yeah.
724
00:57:26,791 --> 00:57:28,083
NERVES
725
00:57:34,208 --> 00:57:36,958
What? I didn't know you had a cute side.
726
00:57:37,041 --> 00:57:38,250
Shut up.
727
00:57:38,333 --> 00:57:39,166
Write "whale."
728
00:57:53,708 --> 00:57:54,916
Do your best.
729
00:58:02,500 --> 00:58:05,916
Okay, it's getting exciting in here,
730
00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:12,958
and tonight, we'll present you with
a special singing performance by Chiharu.
731
00:58:13,541 --> 00:58:17,250
All right, give it up for Chiharu.
732
00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:01,083
If Johnny comes, tell him
733
00:59:02,083 --> 00:59:06,833
That I waited two hours for him
734
00:59:08,541 --> 00:59:15,500
And I left rather cheerfully
735
00:59:16,541 --> 00:59:22,791
Tell him while you're serving him a drink
736
00:59:23,791 --> 00:59:30,208
If you're his friend, tell him
737
00:59:30,791 --> 00:59:35,375
Without upsetting him
738
00:59:37,916 --> 00:59:42,791
I'll take the next bus
739
00:59:44,458 --> 00:59:49,208
Doesn't matter if it'll go west or east
740
00:59:52,250 --> 00:59:53,958
I noticed
741
00:59:56,166 --> 00:59:59,166
What a lonely town
742
01:00:00,166 --> 01:00:07,125
This town was
743
01:00:17,291 --> 01:00:18,750
That was great!
744
01:00:32,000 --> 01:00:35,500
I like your singing,
but it's time to lose those clothes!
745
01:00:44,208 --> 01:00:48,000
Johnny says
he wants to see your boobs, too!
746
01:00:48,083 --> 01:00:50,666
-Boobs!
-Boobs, boobs!
747
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:00,375
Don't be so impatient.
748
01:01:10,750 --> 01:01:12,041
Show us more!
749
01:01:16,291 --> 01:01:17,875
I'll show you more later.
750
01:01:21,166 --> 01:01:23,416
Wait! Hey!
751
01:01:24,583 --> 01:01:27,000
Hey! Hey!
752
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:40,916
Hey.
753
01:01:41,416 --> 01:01:42,500
It's been a while.
754
01:01:44,041 --> 01:01:45,583
Master's already left.
755
01:01:45,666 --> 01:01:47,041
Oh, that's okay.
756
01:01:47,666 --> 01:01:48,500
Say…
757
01:01:49,625 --> 01:01:50,666
are you hungry?
758
01:01:54,291 --> 01:01:57,500
How have you been doing
since leaving France-za?
759
01:01:58,291 --> 01:02:01,291
Yeah, this has to do with that, but…
760
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:08,375
Take, do you wanna do manzai with me?
761
01:02:09,458 --> 01:02:10,291
Manzai?
762
01:02:10,875 --> 01:02:13,541
Yeah, how about it?
763
01:02:15,666 --> 01:02:18,375
Well, manzai is going to be a thing now.
764
01:02:19,083 --> 01:02:22,666
All you need is a mic
and you can do it anywhere in Japan.
765
01:02:23,166 --> 01:02:26,833
If things go well,
we can go on TV and make a lot of money,
766
01:02:26,916 --> 01:02:28,416
and drive an imported car.
767
01:02:29,666 --> 01:02:32,625
What's with you?
I'm not interested in manzai.
768
01:02:33,750 --> 01:02:36,166
Since you're quite skillful,
769
01:02:36,750 --> 01:02:39,416
don't you wanna test your abilities
elsewhere?
770
01:02:39,500 --> 01:02:42,000
Elsewhere? What about France-za?
771
01:02:44,625 --> 01:02:46,291
If I leave…
772
01:02:47,458 --> 01:02:51,583
I owe Master a lot,
so I don't wanna say this,
773
01:02:52,541 --> 01:02:56,083
but honestly, I think France-za
is already in trouble.
774
01:02:56,583 --> 01:02:58,375
You can tell by the empty seats.
775
01:03:01,500 --> 01:03:02,916
That's my point.
776
01:03:04,250 --> 01:03:06,583
What will happen to it if I leave now?
777
01:03:08,291 --> 01:03:11,208
Well, I understand your concern,
778
01:03:12,916 --> 01:03:14,666
but what about yourself?
779
01:03:15,166 --> 01:03:18,000
I thought you really wanted to do comedy.
780
01:03:19,625 --> 01:03:23,875
Gee. There's nothing
to take anymore. There!
781
01:03:23,958 --> 01:03:26,291
Yes! Three Lights!
782
01:03:26,375 --> 01:03:29,083
Did you still have it?
Oh, gee. Wait a minute.
783
01:03:29,166 --> 01:03:33,708
Thank you, thank you.
Let's keep playing. Hey, Koi-Koi!
784
01:03:35,875 --> 01:03:37,875
Hey, Take. Change the channel.
785
01:03:37,958 --> 01:03:38,791
-Sure.
-50 yen.
786
01:03:38,875 --> 01:03:41,083
Watching that will suck my luck away.
787
01:03:41,166 --> 01:03:45,833
-Thank you.
-That manzai nonsense is a joke.
788
01:03:45,916 --> 01:03:48,291
-Deal the cards.
-Let's call it a night.
789
01:03:48,375 --> 01:03:52,958
SHOCHIKU ENGEI HALL
790
01:03:53,041 --> 01:03:56,875
-I know I got married a little late.
-Not a little. Really late.
791
01:03:56,958 --> 01:03:59,250
-All I did was work.
-He had no chance.
792
01:03:59,333 --> 01:04:01,791
-But I got married.
-She must've given up.
793
01:04:01,875 --> 01:04:03,000
Shut up!
794
01:04:03,083 --> 01:04:05,208
Like, "Oh, I can't find anyone else!"
795
01:04:05,291 --> 01:04:08,625
It was worth the wait.
We had more than 300 guests.
796
01:04:08,708 --> 01:04:11,458
-Guests?
-Politicians, business leaders, celebs.
797
01:04:11,541 --> 01:04:15,875
Blood clams, geoduck clams,
and even scallops? But it's a shame…
798
01:04:15,958 --> 01:04:19,166
Hey, don't smoke, you fool!
It'll stain the wall!
799
01:04:19,250 --> 01:04:20,875
That's not important!
800
01:04:20,958 --> 01:04:24,250
-This is a rented house.
-No, mister, that's not the point.
801
01:04:24,333 --> 01:04:29,000
-Teacher, the school building's rented?
-Mister, listen. Here's the thing.
802
01:04:29,083 --> 01:04:32,416
Your son may only smoke cigarettes now.
803
01:04:32,500 --> 01:04:36,458
But smoking could lead to shoplifting.
And then, thinner sniffing.
804
01:04:36,541 --> 01:04:41,416
And then, getting locked up.
That's how delinquents escalate.
805
01:04:42,708 --> 01:04:44,625
Take! Take!
806
01:04:46,500 --> 01:04:47,333
Yes?
807
01:04:47,416 --> 01:04:48,708
Have you fed Pippi?
808
01:04:49,708 --> 01:04:50,541
What?
809
01:04:51,541 --> 01:04:54,166
I asked if you've fed the parakeet.
810
01:04:54,875 --> 01:04:56,208
Oh, I'm sorry.
811
01:04:56,291 --> 01:05:01,125
Cut the "I'm sorry" crap!
I always tell you to feed the bird.
812
01:05:01,750 --> 01:05:03,416
I was preparing for the skit.
813
01:05:04,416 --> 01:05:05,458
Skit?
814
01:05:08,708 --> 01:05:12,250
Listen, I've been
wanting to say this for a while.
815
01:05:12,958 --> 01:05:14,458
I think you're confused.
816
01:05:15,250 --> 01:05:16,083
Sachi.
817
01:05:16,166 --> 01:05:20,000
People come to this theater
to see us naked.
818
01:05:20,083 --> 01:05:22,541
To see our boobs.
819
01:05:22,625 --> 01:05:24,958
Not skits or singing.
820
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:31,291
Your job is to make sure
that we can concentrate on dancing.
821
01:05:31,375 --> 01:05:33,375
Skits are just fillers.
822
01:05:33,458 --> 01:05:35,666
Enough, Sachi.
823
01:05:35,750 --> 01:05:37,166
Take, you're good to go.
824
01:05:40,958 --> 01:05:42,625
Tell me, am I wrong?
825
01:06:32,791 --> 01:06:36,000
DO NOT MASTURBATE
826
01:07:24,833 --> 01:07:26,041
Hello!
827
01:07:30,166 --> 01:07:32,250
Sorry to keep you waiting.
828
01:07:32,916 --> 01:07:34,916
-Your drink?
-I'll have the same.
829
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:35,833
Okay.
830
01:07:36,333 --> 01:07:37,291
What's wrong?
831
01:07:38,958 --> 01:07:42,458
Well… about that thing.
832
01:07:43,250 --> 01:07:44,291
What thing?
833
01:07:45,708 --> 01:07:47,375
What you said the other day.
834
01:07:48,916 --> 01:07:50,541
About us doing manzai.
835
01:07:53,250 --> 01:07:55,541
What? So…
836
01:08:19,375 --> 01:08:21,916
Hey, Takayama. Let's have a game.
837
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:24,208
No, I'll pass.
838
01:08:24,291 --> 01:08:28,291
What? How can a disciple turn down
his master's invitation?
839
01:08:28,375 --> 01:08:32,125
Rather, how can a master
take money from his disciple?
840
01:08:33,083 --> 01:08:34,833
You just have to win.
841
01:08:35,500 --> 01:08:36,708
Let's do it.
842
01:08:37,708 --> 01:08:41,416
Here he comes.
Take, you'll accept my challenge, right?
843
01:08:43,083 --> 01:08:46,833
You see?
This is what makes you and him different.
844
01:08:47,625 --> 01:08:50,166
This determination will show onstage.
845
01:08:50,250 --> 01:08:52,875
All right. As usual, 10 yen per point.
846
01:08:55,666 --> 01:08:56,916
I quit.
847
01:08:57,875 --> 01:08:59,041
What?
848
01:09:01,000 --> 01:09:04,083
Would you rather 50 yen per point?
849
01:09:05,250 --> 01:09:09,666
I like that. I accept your challenge,
you bastard. Bring it on!
850
01:09:09,750 --> 01:09:11,416
I'm not talking about that…
851
01:09:15,416 --> 01:09:16,458
What's the matter?
852
01:09:19,083 --> 01:09:20,791
I quit France-za.
853
01:09:26,416 --> 01:09:29,125
Let me quit and compete
in the outside world.
854
01:09:37,958 --> 01:09:39,916
I've decided to do manzai.
855
01:09:45,416 --> 01:09:49,291
I've decided to do manzai with Kiyoshi
who used to perform here.
856
01:09:49,375 --> 01:09:51,291
What are you talking about?!
857
01:09:51,375 --> 01:09:54,583
Now that you can do skits a bit better,
you want out?
858
01:09:54,666 --> 01:09:58,583
What can a fool like you
with half-baked skills do out there?!
859
01:09:59,125 --> 01:10:03,291
And manzai of all things?
What've you learned from me, you bastard?
860
01:10:03,375 --> 01:10:06,625
That crap isn't even entertainment!
861
01:10:06,708 --> 01:10:11,166
Two people, just talking nonsense!
You wanna charge your audience for that?!
862
01:10:12,583 --> 01:10:15,416
There's hardly even an audience
to charge here.
863
01:10:16,666 --> 01:10:18,083
What did you say?!
864
01:10:18,166 --> 01:10:20,291
I can't get on TV if I stay here.
865
01:10:24,458 --> 01:10:28,291
You can't do this to Master
who's been so good to you.
866
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:33,666
Then, should I just die miserably here?
867
01:10:35,833 --> 01:10:36,875
What?
868
01:10:36,958 --> 01:10:40,208
What's the point in making people
who seek nudity laugh?
869
01:10:41,125 --> 01:10:44,625
Even if I get a big laugh here,
it won't take me anywhere!
870
01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:47,416
What's gotten into you, Take?
871
01:10:51,166 --> 01:10:52,083
Hey.
872
01:10:54,916 --> 01:10:57,500
You're really making me laugh, Take.
873
01:10:58,833 --> 01:11:02,041
When did you learn to say
such funny stuff, you bastard?
874
01:11:08,375 --> 01:11:10,541
You trained me.
875
01:11:25,375 --> 01:11:26,333
Hey.
876
01:11:27,625 --> 01:11:28,833
Hey, Take!
877
01:11:35,375 --> 01:11:36,333
Take!
878
01:11:46,625 --> 01:11:47,625
I'm sorry.
879
01:11:56,291 --> 01:11:57,291
That hurts.
880
01:12:04,833 --> 01:12:06,250
Don't ever come back.
881
01:12:08,583 --> 01:12:10,000
Be a star at any cost.
882
01:12:11,791 --> 01:12:13,458
Be like Kin-chan.
883
01:12:14,541 --> 01:12:15,458
Got it?
884
01:12:18,333 --> 01:12:19,250
Mm-hm.
885
01:12:23,041 --> 01:12:24,250
If I become a star…
886
01:12:27,625 --> 01:12:28,791
You can't bang me.
887
01:12:34,416 --> 01:12:35,791
Okay, just go.
888
01:12:37,791 --> 01:12:39,958
Go, go, just go.
889
01:12:58,791 --> 01:13:01,791
There's no way we can bang like this.
890
01:13:09,958 --> 01:13:10,875
Bang?
891
01:13:12,125 --> 01:13:14,708
Whoa, wait a minute. What?
892
01:13:20,208 --> 01:13:21,250
I…
893
01:13:23,041 --> 01:13:27,250
broke free from my old life
not just once but twice.
894
01:13:30,541 --> 01:13:34,041
A guy like that must not
do things half-heartedly, you fool.
895
01:13:37,875 --> 01:13:42,875
Take? What do you mean by bang?
What are you talking about?
896
01:13:42,958 --> 01:13:44,666
Shut up and go to sleep.
897
01:13:45,666 --> 01:13:48,416
-But you said bang…
-Shut up.
898
01:13:49,875 --> 01:13:51,625
I can't help feeling uneasy.
899
01:13:52,916 --> 01:13:55,541
I wanna do manzai
that I've never seen before.
900
01:13:56,916 --> 01:13:57,916
What do you mean?
901
01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:01,291
We're gonna destroy traditional manzai.
902
01:14:02,125 --> 01:14:06,291
First of all, having "Shokakuya"
before our name is so old-fashioned.
903
01:14:06,375 --> 01:14:10,500
What? Then, do you wanna change our name?
904
01:14:10,583 --> 01:14:15,500
There was an American comedian named
Lenny Bruce. He took drugs and died young.
905
01:14:15,583 --> 01:14:18,500
I used to work part-time at a jazz cafe.
906
01:14:19,083 --> 01:14:21,166
Each song has its own tempo.
907
01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:26,791
And this Lenny Bruce guy recklessly talked
about racism and criticized religion.
908
01:14:27,541 --> 01:14:29,708
I wanna do something like that.
909
01:14:29,791 --> 01:14:33,291
There are eight-beat rhythms
and four-beat rhythms…
910
01:14:33,916 --> 01:14:36,625
Then, there are two of us so…
911
01:14:38,458 --> 01:14:39,791
Two Beat it is.
912
01:14:40,375 --> 01:14:43,000
TWO BEAT
913
01:14:44,375 --> 01:14:45,333
Hello.
914
01:14:45,416 --> 01:14:47,541
We're Two Beat.
915
01:14:47,625 --> 01:14:50,375
Hey Granny, don't die during our manzai.
916
01:14:50,458 --> 01:14:51,750
What are you saying?
917
01:15:00,333 --> 01:15:02,125
That's too much. Here you go.
918
01:15:02,208 --> 01:15:03,833
-Take it.
-Thank you.
919
01:15:03,916 --> 01:15:05,875
Okay, here you go.
920
01:15:05,958 --> 01:15:07,250
Count them.
921
01:15:07,333 --> 01:15:09,250
Thank you as always.
922
01:15:14,166 --> 01:15:15,583
Pardon me.
923
01:15:17,083 --> 01:15:18,291
Here is your tea.
924
01:15:18,958 --> 01:15:22,666
That guy, Take,
who used to perform at France-za…
925
01:15:23,708 --> 01:15:27,708
I heard he teamed up with Kiyoshi
and they're doing well.
926
01:15:28,250 --> 01:15:30,041
I heard so, too.
927
01:15:31,875 --> 01:15:36,541
They say that now even comedians
are going out of their way to watch them.
928
01:15:36,625 --> 01:15:38,500
It's quite impressive.
929
01:15:38,583 --> 01:15:43,666
Oh, yeah? They're that popular now?
930
01:15:45,666 --> 01:15:48,083
I've counted it all.
931
01:15:49,791 --> 01:15:53,666
Then sign your name here.
Just a formality.
932
01:16:00,291 --> 01:16:02,625
PROMISSORY NOTE
300,000 YEN
933
01:16:02,708 --> 01:16:07,041
So, how long are you two gonna continue?
934
01:16:07,125 --> 01:16:08,041
What?
935
01:16:08,125 --> 01:16:09,416
France-za.
936
01:16:10,791 --> 01:16:12,583
It's in deep trouble, right?
937
01:16:13,583 --> 01:16:15,250
Just close it.
938
01:16:17,000 --> 01:16:19,416
How long are you gonna keep doing this?
939
01:16:24,166 --> 01:16:26,375
The times have changed.
940
01:16:28,125 --> 01:16:29,583
Tell Fukami so.
941
01:16:31,666 --> 01:16:33,125
Here you go.
942
01:16:36,791 --> 01:16:38,375
Thank you very much.
943
01:16:46,625 --> 01:16:49,583
The matinee performance has been canceled.
944
01:16:50,250 --> 01:16:51,625
What?
945
01:16:53,000 --> 01:16:57,000
You should've told us sooner.
We were getting ready for it.
946
01:16:59,125 --> 01:17:02,916
Shut up. Rather than complain,
bring people in.
947
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:08,458
What should we do? Go out to eat?
948
01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:09,750
No…
949
01:17:26,833 --> 01:17:30,750
TWO BEAT
950
01:17:30,833 --> 01:17:32,833
The law will be changed next year.
951
01:17:32,916 --> 01:17:37,375
-Anyone over 80 will be put to death.
-How could you! That's nonsense!
952
01:17:37,458 --> 01:17:40,750
-But I'm kind to the elderly.
-Oh, are you?
953
01:17:40,833 --> 01:17:43,791
I am. A grandma asked
for directions the other day.
954
01:17:43,875 --> 01:17:45,875
-I told her a shortcut.
-Did you?
955
01:17:45,958 --> 01:17:48,500
-She happily walked onto the highway.
-No!
956
01:17:49,500 --> 01:17:52,708
-She might get hit by a car!
-So many accidents lately.
957
01:17:52,791 --> 01:17:55,416
-So many cars.
-Remember traffic slogans.
958
01:17:55,500 --> 01:17:58,041
-There are lots.
-"Caution does no harm."
959
01:17:58,125 --> 01:18:02,083
-"Jump in front of cars, happy kids!"
-Hey! There's no such slogan!
960
01:18:02,166 --> 01:18:04,416
"Let's run the red light together."
961
01:18:04,500 --> 01:18:06,791
No! You can't run it!
962
01:18:06,875 --> 01:18:09,500
And "A grandma buys tampons to show off."
963
01:18:09,583 --> 01:18:11,166
-That's irrelevant!
-So many.
964
01:18:11,250 --> 01:18:12,250
That's unrelated!
965
01:18:12,333 --> 01:18:14,916
"No worries. The grandma has no future."
966
01:18:15,000 --> 01:18:17,833
Stop! Why do you
always say such cruel things?
967
01:18:17,916 --> 01:18:20,125
"Beware! Ugly girls try to get groped."
968
01:18:20,208 --> 01:18:23,041
That makes no sense.
That's not a traffic slogan!
969
01:18:23,125 --> 01:18:25,750
Like you'd know.
Yamagata doesn't have any.
970
01:18:25,833 --> 01:18:27,458
Of course we have them.
971
01:18:27,541 --> 01:18:29,583
-He's from Yamagata.
-Yes, I am.
972
01:18:29,666 --> 01:18:33,125
-Before Tokyo, he'd never seen a person.
-Hey!
973
01:18:33,208 --> 01:18:36,208
-His dad was a cannibal until last year.
-A cannibal?
974
01:18:36,291 --> 01:18:38,500
When a plane flies by, they worship it.
975
01:18:38,583 --> 01:18:41,833
-No we don't!
-They call any plane a B-29!
976
01:18:41,916 --> 01:18:43,375
We don't say that!
977
01:18:46,500 --> 01:18:48,416
I am Tsukikage Musashi…
978
01:18:48,500 --> 01:18:50,583
It's a shame… You fool!
979
01:18:51,083 --> 01:18:53,000
-You cut me too soon!
-I'm sorry.
980
01:18:53,083 --> 01:18:56,208
I was giving a cool speech.
Wait until I finish.
981
01:18:56,291 --> 01:18:57,125
I'm sorry.
982
01:18:57,708 --> 01:19:01,416
I am the third generation,
Tsukikage Musashi!
983
01:19:01,500 --> 01:19:04,333
-Mari, why don't you drink, too?
-Oh, thank you.
984
01:19:04,416 --> 01:19:06,916
You've got to drink. There.
985
01:19:07,000 --> 01:19:08,750
Yeah, that's it.
986
01:19:12,083 --> 01:19:14,416
What a woman!
987
01:19:29,125 --> 01:19:31,416
Hi, it's me.
988
01:19:35,083 --> 01:19:36,875
I'm sorry to bother you.
989
01:19:48,750 --> 01:19:50,958
Mari, could you take these?
990
01:19:53,041 --> 01:19:54,208
Okay.
991
01:19:57,416 --> 01:20:00,041
Hello. Sorry to keep you waiting!
992
01:20:00,958 --> 01:20:04,916
-Were you waiting for me?
-I was waiting for you!
993
01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:06,458
Hey now, hold on.
994
01:20:06,541 --> 01:20:08,000
Here.
995
01:20:08,083 --> 01:20:09,583
-Me?
-I'll pour for you.
996
01:20:09,666 --> 01:20:11,458
All right…
997
01:20:55,541 --> 01:20:57,625
-Mr. Kawamura.
-Yes, yes.
998
01:20:58,125 --> 01:20:59,583
-Yes?
-This is the man.
999
01:20:59,666 --> 01:21:03,083
Oh, then, come here. Right here.
1000
01:21:03,958 --> 01:21:05,125
Um…
1001
01:21:05,208 --> 01:21:06,875
-Nice to meet you.
-Yeah.
1002
01:21:06,958 --> 01:21:10,583
This one and this one. Put them here.
1003
01:21:10,666 --> 01:21:13,583
Then, a screw. Like this…
1004
01:21:14,416 --> 01:21:15,458
And do this…
1005
01:21:30,291 --> 01:21:32,041
Mari?!
1006
01:21:33,708 --> 01:21:34,541
Mari!
1007
01:21:34,625 --> 01:21:35,625
Are you okay?!
1008
01:21:37,541 --> 01:21:40,166
I have a bad toothache.
1009
01:21:40,666 --> 01:21:41,833
Do you brush?
1010
01:21:45,208 --> 01:21:47,333
Hey, Mr. Fukami.
1011
01:21:48,291 --> 01:21:50,375
Is it true you were a comedian?
1012
01:21:51,125 --> 01:21:52,166
Yes, kind of.
1013
01:21:52,250 --> 01:21:54,125
-You were a comedian?
-He was.
1014
01:21:54,208 --> 01:21:55,750
-He was.
-No way!
1015
01:21:55,833 --> 01:21:57,333
Can you do something now?
1016
01:21:57,833 --> 01:21:58,875
A comedian, right?
1017
01:21:58,958 --> 01:22:01,041
That means you can do something now.
1018
01:22:01,125 --> 01:22:04,666
They do magic tricks
and rakugo, right? Show us.
1019
01:22:04,750 --> 01:22:07,000
-Please. Do it, Mr. Fukami.
-Mr. Fukami.
1020
01:22:07,083 --> 01:22:09,250
-Do it. Show us.
-I wanna see it now.
1021
01:22:09,333 --> 01:22:11,625
-Okay, let's do it!
-All right!
1022
01:22:12,333 --> 01:22:13,625
Show us a good one.
1023
01:22:17,000 --> 01:22:18,833
There are no tricks or gimmicks.
1024
01:22:20,666 --> 01:22:22,125
Prepare to be mystified…
1025
01:22:29,083 --> 01:22:31,250
My fingers are gone.
1026
01:22:40,125 --> 01:22:41,125
Oh, Mr. Fukami.
1027
01:22:41,708 --> 01:22:43,750
-Yes?
-There's a phone call for you.
1028
01:22:43,833 --> 01:22:44,666
For me?
1029
01:22:46,208 --> 01:22:47,208
I'm Kuroda.
1030
01:22:47,291 --> 01:22:48,791
TOKYO 12 CHANNEL TV
DIRECTOR
1031
01:22:52,416 --> 01:22:54,750
-Is it a TV job?
-Yes.
1032
01:22:55,416 --> 01:22:58,708
I know it's next Friday,
but we suddenly have an opening.
1033
01:23:00,833 --> 01:23:01,666
So?
1034
01:23:01,750 --> 01:23:04,625
Well, we have to do manzai here…
1035
01:23:04,708 --> 01:23:08,416
We can do it. Of course.
We'll figure something out.
1036
01:23:09,250 --> 01:23:10,708
-You sure?
-Yes!
1037
01:23:12,583 --> 01:23:14,291
What time should we be there?
1038
01:23:17,916 --> 01:23:20,500
Thank you for everything.
1039
01:23:20,583 --> 01:23:22,416
Oh, I was surprised.
1040
01:23:22,500 --> 01:23:25,708
-You know Mr. Taniguchi's wife, right?
-Yeah.
1041
01:23:25,791 --> 01:23:29,791
She happened to be there and called me.
1042
01:23:30,416 --> 01:23:31,666
I see.
1043
01:23:31,750 --> 01:23:36,166
Anyway, eat something good with this.
1044
01:23:36,250 --> 01:23:39,750
That's okay, Master.
You don't have to do that.
1045
01:23:41,583 --> 01:23:43,250
I mean it. Don't worry.
1046
01:23:44,833 --> 01:23:46,291
-Thank you.
-All right.
1047
01:23:46,375 --> 01:23:48,583
-Take care of Mari.
-Yeah.
1048
01:23:49,375 --> 01:23:50,708
Thank you very much.
1049
01:23:50,791 --> 01:23:54,708
No, you don't need to get up.
Don't push yourself.
1050
01:23:54,791 --> 01:23:56,375
-Yes.
-See you.
1051
01:23:58,250 --> 01:23:59,250
Thank you.
1052
01:24:03,791 --> 01:24:05,833
What? Do you wanna get up?
1053
01:24:05,916 --> 01:24:07,125
All right.
1054
01:24:07,916 --> 01:24:09,041
Hold on a sec.
1055
01:24:13,625 --> 01:24:15,333
Do you want some tea?
1056
01:24:27,375 --> 01:24:29,375
-Here.
-Thanks.
1057
01:24:40,458 --> 01:24:45,916
I'm sorry.
I guess I made you push yourself.
1058
01:24:48,833 --> 01:24:53,625
But, actually, I got a job.
1059
01:24:57,583 --> 01:25:01,166
Well, that bastard Azuhachi,
1060
01:25:01,250 --> 01:25:07,125
begged me to take it
because they were really short-handed.
1061
01:25:07,625 --> 01:25:12,125
And I can't ignore
when my disciple is in trouble, right?
1062
01:25:12,916 --> 01:25:14,250
I didn't have a choice.
1063
01:25:15,333 --> 01:25:16,958
You'll do it again, right?
1064
01:25:18,375 --> 01:25:19,291
What?
1065
01:25:19,875 --> 01:25:22,458
You belong onstage.
1066
01:25:25,791 --> 01:25:28,875
I like you when you're onstage.
1067
01:25:32,333 --> 01:25:35,541
Does that mean you don't like me offstage?
1068
01:25:36,500 --> 01:25:38,833
What's there to like about you offstage?
1069
01:25:41,958 --> 01:25:43,166
That's true.
1070
01:25:44,500 --> 01:25:48,083
You're so sexy onstage.
1071
01:25:49,000 --> 01:25:51,750
The way you stand and the way you talk…
1072
01:25:51,833 --> 01:25:56,541
It's like, "This is Fukami of Asakusa."
1073
01:25:58,791 --> 01:26:00,708
Why are you telling me this now?
1074
01:26:01,291 --> 01:26:02,750
Did you hit your head?
1075
01:26:05,541 --> 01:26:08,416
I'll take back France-za for you.
1076
01:26:09,791 --> 01:26:10,625
What?
1077
01:26:11,333 --> 01:26:15,583
It doesn't have to be France-za,
somewhere smaller is fine.
1078
01:26:15,666 --> 01:26:19,166
I really wanna see you onstage.
1079
01:26:19,916 --> 01:26:20,833
Okay?
1080
01:26:29,125 --> 01:26:32,583
To tell you the truth,
I have an idea for a new skit.
1081
01:26:33,208 --> 01:26:34,250
Really?
1082
01:26:35,041 --> 01:26:38,750
I'm thinking about bringing a dog onstage.
1083
01:26:39,291 --> 01:26:42,083
You mean an actual dog?
1084
01:26:42,166 --> 01:26:43,625
That's right.
1085
01:26:43,708 --> 01:26:46,083
-You know, like a police dog.
-Mm-hm.
1086
01:26:46,916 --> 01:26:49,583
First, a lingerie thief enters
from stage left.
1087
01:26:49,666 --> 01:26:50,916
Gee.
1088
01:26:51,000 --> 01:26:54,041
Saying, "What a haul!"
1089
01:26:54,125 --> 01:26:56,291
Then, the dog starts barking.
1090
01:26:56,375 --> 01:26:57,666
Woof, woof, woof!
1091
01:26:57,750 --> 01:26:59,291
He goes, "What happened?"
1092
01:26:59,375 --> 01:27:01,958
Why did you stop me? Let me die, you fool!
1093
01:27:02,041 --> 01:27:04,416
-I'll die if you don't let me die!
-What?
1094
01:27:04,500 --> 01:27:06,166
-He talked nonsense.
-Yeah.
1095
01:27:06,250 --> 01:27:08,875
And the other day,
when I visited my neighbor,
1096
01:27:08,958 --> 01:27:11,333
their son was hanging himself
with a gas pipe.
1097
01:27:11,416 --> 01:27:13,625
-I stopped him and told him…
-Oh, good!
1098
01:27:13,708 --> 01:27:15,416
-"Put it in your mouth."
-No.
1099
01:27:15,500 --> 01:27:18,166
-Use gas properly!
-Except for that occasion!
1100
01:27:18,250 --> 01:27:20,166
-People are odd these days.
-Yeah.
1101
01:27:20,250 --> 01:27:22,958
-They concentrate too much on anything.
-True.
1102
01:27:25,875 --> 01:27:27,166
What are you doing?
1103
01:27:28,041 --> 01:27:30,583
-Yes?
-This is not a variety hall.
1104
01:27:30,666 --> 01:27:33,583
This is TV, okay? A live TV show.
1105
01:27:34,708 --> 01:27:37,958
You can't make fun of
ugly girls or suicide.
1106
01:27:39,916 --> 01:27:43,000
Don't you have anything else
that's suitable for TV?
1107
01:27:44,500 --> 01:27:46,125
You have plenty of time.
1108
01:27:47,250 --> 01:27:48,625
Come up with something.
1109
01:27:51,166 --> 01:27:52,125
Okay.
1110
01:27:55,083 --> 01:27:56,291
How about…
1111
01:27:57,750 --> 01:28:00,375
changing this part to the skiing one?
1112
01:28:00,458 --> 01:28:05,958
Oh, but he said we shouldn't
talk about ugly girls, either.
1113
01:28:12,583 --> 01:28:17,333
Then, change the first part
to the metal bat one?
1114
01:28:17,416 --> 01:28:18,833
Oh, that one.
1115
01:28:20,041 --> 01:28:23,666
But we can't expect
a big laugh with that one.
1116
01:28:28,333 --> 01:28:29,750
-Finely chop it.
-I see.
1117
01:28:30,291 --> 01:28:31,500
-Pow!
-What?
1118
01:28:31,583 --> 01:28:32,583
What was that?
1119
01:28:32,666 --> 01:28:34,125
-The final chop!
-Enough!
1120
01:28:34,708 --> 01:28:35,708
Thank you!
1121
01:28:39,541 --> 01:28:43,791
All right, that was Comedy Number One.
They were both funny, right?
1122
01:28:43,875 --> 01:28:47,125
Now, will they be able to keep winning?
1123
01:28:47,208 --> 01:28:49,083
We'll be right back.
1124
01:28:50,666 --> 01:28:52,750
Okay! We're in a commercial break!
1125
01:28:52,833 --> 01:28:56,708
Give it up for Comedy Number One.
Thank you, guys.
1126
01:28:59,541 --> 01:29:02,625
How are you all doing?
Not too tired from laughing?
1127
01:29:03,750 --> 01:29:09,583
If you want to go to the bathroom
or fix your makeup, please do so now.
1128
01:29:09,666 --> 01:29:13,541
There'll be many more wonderful comedians…
1129
01:29:13,625 --> 01:29:18,333
It's gonna be fine.
It's no different from variety halls.
1130
01:29:34,458 --> 01:29:37,500
Many more wonderful comedians…
1131
01:29:45,000 --> 01:29:46,916
What've you learned from me, you bastard?
1132
01:29:48,958 --> 01:29:49,791
Don't ever come back.
1133
01:29:51,916 --> 01:29:53,125
Don't be laughed at.
1134
01:29:57,875 --> 01:29:59,166
Make them laugh.
1135
01:30:04,833 --> 01:30:06,250
Five seconds to go!
1136
01:30:06,875 --> 01:30:08,083
-Four! Three!
-Take?
1137
01:30:09,541 --> 01:30:10,583
I won't do it.
1138
01:30:11,583 --> 01:30:12,875
You won't do what?
1139
01:30:12,958 --> 01:30:15,041
We'll do our jokes as they are.
1140
01:30:15,791 --> 01:30:16,916
All of them.
1141
01:30:17,666 --> 01:30:18,666
No, but…
1142
01:30:18,750 --> 01:30:23,000
Okay, let's bring on
this week's challenger.
1143
01:30:23,583 --> 01:30:28,375
Up-and-comers from Asakusa, Two Beat!
Come on out!
1144
01:31:30,208 --> 01:31:32,041
{\an8}1981
1145
01:31:32,125 --> 01:31:33,416
{\an8}Comaneci!
1146
01:31:33,500 --> 01:31:35,500
{\an8}Comaneci! Comaneci!
1147
01:31:35,583 --> 01:31:37,625
-Comaneci!
-Satoshi!
1148
01:31:37,708 --> 01:31:40,083
-Let's go.
-Oh, Mom!
1149
01:31:40,166 --> 01:31:42,541
Takeshi was here just now!
1150
01:31:42,625 --> 01:31:44,708
Which Takeshi are you talking about?
1151
01:31:44,791 --> 01:31:47,666
Beat Takeshi! He was just here!
1152
01:31:48,250 --> 01:31:52,333
Don't be ridiculous! Let's go home.
Your dad is waiting for us.
1153
01:31:53,333 --> 01:31:56,750
It's true. See?
He signed an autograph for me.
1154
01:31:59,958 --> 01:32:03,166
Hey, Mom, what does this kanji mean?
1155
01:32:12,958 --> 01:32:13,916
This kanji…
1156
01:32:18,541 --> 01:32:20,250
It means "whale."
1157
01:32:20,333 --> 01:32:21,666
I see.
1158
01:32:25,583 --> 01:32:27,416
Let's go home for dinner.
1159
01:32:31,583 --> 01:32:32,791
Let's sing something.
1160
01:32:32,875 --> 01:32:34,791
Sure. What do you wanna sing?
1161
01:32:36,000 --> 01:32:37,375
-How about…
-Hm?
1162
01:32:37,875 --> 01:32:41,666
A bear cub watched a game of hide-and-seek
1163
01:32:41,750 --> 01:32:45,500
A child who showed their bottom
Won the first prize
1164
01:32:45,583 --> 01:32:49,458
The sun is going down, so see you tomorrow
1165
01:32:49,541 --> 01:32:52,166
See you tomorrow
1166
01:32:59,500 --> 01:33:01,416
-Hello!
-Hi.
1167
01:33:05,750 --> 01:33:08,333
-I'll have the usual.
-Okay. Eggs and chives.
1168
01:33:08,416 --> 01:33:09,250
Got it.
1169
01:33:11,541 --> 01:33:15,333
Hey, why are you watching baseball, ma'am?
The Manzai is on today.
1170
01:33:15,416 --> 01:33:16,916
It's a home run!
1171
01:33:19,833 --> 01:33:21,625
If we're bad, we'll go to hell.
1172
01:33:21,708 --> 01:33:23,916
Oh, yes! It's Two Beat.
1173
01:33:24,000 --> 01:33:27,125
They're quite successful.
1174
01:33:27,708 --> 01:33:31,958
Now it kind of feels strange to think
that they used to be in Asakusa.
1175
01:33:32,500 --> 01:33:35,083
I wanna watch baseball.
1176
01:33:35,166 --> 01:33:38,375
What are you talking about?
You don't even like base…
1177
01:33:39,916 --> 01:33:41,833
Oh, the Giants are playing today.
1178
01:33:41,916 --> 01:33:43,000
Don't touch it!
1179
01:33:45,333 --> 01:33:47,416
Don't touch it…
1180
01:33:47,500 --> 01:33:50,041
-What's in the second room?
-It's on ice.
1181
01:33:50,125 --> 01:33:53,208
Everyone steps on it and goes,
"It's cold, it's cold!"
1182
01:33:53,291 --> 01:33:55,791
-You'll get frostbite.
-I pleaded for mercy.
1183
01:33:55,875 --> 01:33:57,958
-Yeah.
-He said, "This is the last."
1184
01:33:58,041 --> 01:34:00,041
-The third room.
-When I opened it…
1185
01:34:00,125 --> 01:34:03,500
Everyone was soaking in poop
up to their necks like this.
1186
01:34:03,583 --> 01:34:04,416
In poop?!
1187
01:34:04,500 --> 01:34:05,583
-And smoking.
-Smoking?
1188
01:34:05,666 --> 01:34:09,916
Well, but you know, Master.
They're getting a little rough.
1189
01:34:10,000 --> 01:34:13,791
Their performances have been getting rough
since they went on TV.
1190
01:34:14,458 --> 01:34:19,458
Entertainers must have some skills
to entertain people.
1191
01:34:19,541 --> 01:34:21,583
-When I think about it--
-Hey.
1192
01:34:25,083 --> 01:34:27,791
What are you blabbering about,
you bastard?
1193
01:34:27,875 --> 01:34:28,833
What?
1194
01:34:31,666 --> 01:34:34,416
Don't talk like you know everything!
1195
01:34:35,333 --> 01:34:38,041
What do you know about them, you fool?!
1196
01:34:38,708 --> 01:34:40,166
They don't have skills?
1197
01:34:40,875 --> 01:34:43,500
Do you have a problem with my disciples?!
1198
01:34:43,583 --> 01:34:45,125
-You bastard!
-What?!
1199
01:34:48,375 --> 01:34:50,250
Are you okay, Master? I'm sorry.
1200
01:34:50,333 --> 01:34:52,333
What are you doing?!
1201
01:34:52,416 --> 01:34:53,750
-Because…
-Gee!
1202
01:34:53,833 --> 01:34:56,708
Just go home! Go, go!
1203
01:34:56,791 --> 01:34:58,000
Hey, honey, look!
1204
01:34:58,083 --> 01:35:01,041
-Whose disciples do you think they are?
-Some ice!
1205
01:35:01,125 --> 01:35:03,791
And bring me the first aid kit, too!
1206
01:35:03,875 --> 01:35:06,166
-It's upstairs!
-Then I'll go get it!
1207
01:35:06,250 --> 01:35:10,458
The 11th Japan Broadcasting
Entertainment Awards grand prize goes to…
1208
01:35:11,125 --> 01:35:12,583
Two Beat!
1209
01:35:13,958 --> 01:35:15,416
Congratulations!
1210
01:35:16,416 --> 01:35:18,041
Thank you very much!
1211
01:35:18,125 --> 01:35:19,000
Thank you!
1212
01:35:19,083 --> 01:35:22,250
Now, they'll receive the prize money
and the trophy!
1213
01:35:22,333 --> 01:35:24,250
-Congratulations.
-Thank you.
1214
01:35:24,333 --> 01:35:25,708
Unbelievable!
1215
01:35:27,250 --> 01:35:28,625
What are you doing?!
1216
01:35:28,708 --> 01:35:30,708
-Can't I take her home?
-No!
1217
01:35:30,791 --> 01:35:32,750
You take the trophy home!
1218
01:35:44,083 --> 01:35:45,541
-Mister.
-Yes?
1219
01:35:45,625 --> 01:35:48,166
Could you take me to Asakusa, instead?
1220
01:36:30,750 --> 01:36:32,791
It's not safe to leave it unlocked.
1221
01:36:48,250 --> 01:36:50,416
What are you doing here, you bastard?
1222
01:36:54,000 --> 01:36:56,416
I just happened to be in the neighborhood.
1223
01:36:58,291 --> 01:37:00,458
If you're coming, at least call me.
1224
01:37:02,333 --> 01:37:03,458
I'm sorry.
1225
01:37:18,416 --> 01:37:21,958
Do you wanna eat something?
Are you hungry?
1226
01:37:22,041 --> 01:37:24,541
No, I'm fine.
1227
01:37:25,125 --> 01:37:27,791
There's a ramen place
that delivers right away.
1228
01:37:28,750 --> 01:37:31,583
No, I'm really not hungry.
1229
01:37:41,416 --> 01:37:42,250
Master.
1230
01:37:43,875 --> 01:37:44,875
Take this.
1231
01:37:45,583 --> 01:37:49,541
{\an8}PRIZE MONEY
1232
01:37:55,250 --> 01:37:56,416
What's this?
1233
01:37:56,500 --> 01:37:57,875
It is…
1234
01:37:59,416 --> 01:38:01,083
your allowance.
1235
01:38:04,375 --> 01:38:06,041
Are you messing with me?
1236
01:38:08,458 --> 01:38:10,333
How could I possibly accept it?
1237
01:38:37,000 --> 01:38:38,416
Gee.
1238
01:38:40,041 --> 01:38:43,541
I've never heard of
a disciple giving his master
1239
01:38:44,208 --> 01:38:46,083
an allowance, you fool!
1240
01:38:49,250 --> 01:38:50,583
One, two, three…
1241
01:38:50,666 --> 01:38:52,625
You're counting them!
1242
01:38:53,750 --> 01:38:55,791
Stop counting, you shitty old man!
1243
01:38:55,875 --> 01:38:58,375
-Who you calling that, you fool?!
-I'm sorry.
1244
01:39:01,500 --> 01:39:03,625
-Do you wanna go for a drink?
-Yes.
1245
01:39:03,708 --> 01:39:07,208
Okay, I'm gonna get ready,
so wait a little bit.
1246
01:39:07,750 --> 01:39:11,958
HOGEISEN
1247
01:39:12,041 --> 01:39:13,125
No, it's true!
1248
01:39:13,208 --> 01:39:18,000
Now he's on TV like he's some big shot,
but at first, he was a complete mess.
1249
01:39:18,083 --> 01:39:23,666
When Mari told him to run a bath for her
bathing show, this fool ran boiling water!
1250
01:39:24,291 --> 01:39:29,208
It was too hot, so she hopped around
the tub with her foot in it like "Ow, ow!"
1251
01:39:30,000 --> 01:39:31,083
She was so angry.
1252
01:39:31,166 --> 01:39:32,458
Of course, you fool!
1253
01:39:32,541 --> 01:39:37,208
After that, she was blushing furiously
and saying, "I'm not Goemon Ishikawa!"
1254
01:39:37,708 --> 01:39:39,291
But Master was crazy, too.
1255
01:39:39,375 --> 01:39:41,750
We were watching an idol singing on TV.
1256
01:39:41,833 --> 01:39:45,000
He said, "Lift the TV up,"
and I wondered what he'd do.
1257
01:39:45,083 --> 01:39:47,333
He actually tried to see her panties.
1258
01:39:48,333 --> 01:39:50,166
Don't say that, you fool!
1259
01:39:50,250 --> 01:39:52,291
I was trying to see her panties,
1260
01:39:52,375 --> 01:39:55,333
but Kiyoshi said, "It's heavy"
and let go of the TV.
1261
01:39:56,041 --> 01:39:59,291
The TV fell and hit me.
I was badly hurt, you fool!
1262
01:40:00,250 --> 01:40:03,583
You've come back after all this time
talking nonsense.
1263
01:40:03,666 --> 01:40:07,125
You never stop talking,
so my balls are about to explode!
1264
01:40:08,333 --> 01:40:09,541
Your shoes, Master.
1265
01:40:09,625 --> 01:40:10,833
Thanks.
1266
01:40:12,458 --> 01:40:14,000
Oh, did I get taller?
1267
01:40:14,083 --> 01:40:15,375
No, you fool!
1268
01:40:16,541 --> 01:40:18,625
Why would I wear these pink heels?
1269
01:40:19,708 --> 01:40:21,500
How could you not tell?!
1270
01:40:22,416 --> 01:40:23,708
We got lots of laughs.
1271
01:40:24,541 --> 01:40:25,958
Yeah, we did.
1272
01:40:27,166 --> 01:40:28,583
We got lots of laughs.
1273
01:40:29,083 --> 01:40:31,333
The lady in front of me was in tears.
1274
01:40:31,416 --> 01:40:33,833
Well, I was making her laugh.
1275
01:40:33,916 --> 01:40:37,166
What are you talking about?
She was laughing at my story.
1276
01:40:37,250 --> 01:40:39,375
No, that… that was my story--
1277
01:40:41,416 --> 01:40:42,541
Hey, taxi!
1278
01:40:43,500 --> 01:40:45,291
-Take, get in.
-I can still drink.
1279
01:40:45,375 --> 01:40:47,708
No, you have work early tomorrow, right?
1280
01:40:47,791 --> 01:40:49,458
-Go home and sleep.
-You okay?
1281
01:40:49,541 --> 01:40:51,125
Yes, I am, you fool!
1282
01:40:51,625 --> 01:40:52,666
Oh, yeah.
1283
01:40:55,875 --> 01:40:57,416
Here's your cab fare.
1284
01:40:57,500 --> 01:40:58,458
Oh, thank you.
1285
01:40:58,541 --> 01:41:00,708
But this is the money I gave you!
1286
01:41:01,208 --> 01:41:02,916
-Is it?
-Yes.
1287
01:41:03,875 --> 01:41:05,250
Okay, just get in.
1288
01:41:10,875 --> 01:41:12,708
-Thank you for the meal.
-Yeah.
1289
01:41:14,291 --> 01:41:16,375
-Hey, Take.
-Yes?
1290
01:41:20,875 --> 01:41:22,416
If there's any left over,
1291
01:41:24,333 --> 01:41:25,958
bring me back the change.
1292
01:41:28,166 --> 01:41:29,125
Okay.
1293
01:42:23,041 --> 01:42:24,875
Hey, Mari.
1294
01:42:27,666 --> 01:42:30,750
It's been a while
since we last drank together.
1295
01:42:34,333 --> 01:42:37,791
I'm sure they don't have
good sake over there.
1296
01:42:55,291 --> 01:42:56,458
Mari.
1297
01:42:58,625 --> 01:42:59,916
Take said
1298
01:43:01,291 --> 01:43:03,833
it was my allowance.
1299
01:43:12,083 --> 01:43:14,375
And he gave this to me.
1300
01:43:15,291 --> 01:43:17,750
What an insolent brat, right?
1301
01:43:19,291 --> 01:43:20,875
I'm his master.
1302
01:43:24,333 --> 01:43:26,166
I've never heard of
1303
01:43:27,625 --> 01:43:30,875
a disciple giving his master an allowance.
1304
01:43:36,708 --> 01:43:37,750
But…
1305
01:43:46,333 --> 01:43:49,208
He is something.
1306
01:43:53,458 --> 01:43:56,583
I knew he would do it.
1307
01:43:58,958 --> 01:44:01,666
He did become successful.
1308
01:44:05,333 --> 01:44:06,166
But…
1309
01:44:07,875 --> 01:44:10,083
I have to keep up, too.
1310
01:44:12,416 --> 01:44:13,750
Because I'm…
1311
01:44:16,166 --> 01:44:19,000
Fukami of Asakusa.
1312
01:44:25,541 --> 01:44:26,791
Oh, yeah.
1313
01:44:31,041 --> 01:44:33,416
I came up with a new skit.
1314
01:44:34,708 --> 01:44:38,416
I told Take about it
1315
01:44:39,416 --> 01:44:42,291
and he said, "Let's do it together."
1316
01:44:48,083 --> 01:44:51,458
We're gonna get a big laugh.
1317
01:45:06,041 --> 01:45:10,041
We're gonna get a big laugh…
1318
01:45:22,625 --> 01:45:23,583
Hello.
1319
01:45:26,583 --> 01:45:29,625
Oh, hi. It's been a while.
1320
01:45:35,208 --> 01:45:36,083
Yes.
1321
01:45:43,625 --> 01:45:44,625
Yes.
1322
01:46:22,708 --> 01:46:26,125
-Do you think he'll come?
-Isn't he coming? Takeshi?
1323
01:46:26,208 --> 01:46:28,500
-Maybe he won't come today.
-Yeah.
1324
01:46:28,583 --> 01:46:30,166
I hope he does.
1325
01:46:30,250 --> 01:46:33,250
-We've got no story here without Takeshi.
-None.
1326
01:46:35,458 --> 01:46:37,666
SENZABURO FUKAMI'S FUNERAL
1327
01:46:38,833 --> 01:46:39,958
What should we do?
1328
01:46:40,833 --> 01:46:43,416
Should I ask them
to let us in from the back?
1329
01:46:43,958 --> 01:46:46,750
-Excuse me. Take us to the back door.
-Okay.
1330
01:46:49,041 --> 01:46:50,291
Oh, it's here.
1331
01:46:52,500 --> 01:46:54,625
I'm gonna go deal with the reporters.
1332
01:47:02,833 --> 01:47:03,875
Hey.
1333
01:47:11,250 --> 01:47:16,875
It's me who told Master
to close France-za.
1334
01:47:17,875 --> 01:47:19,791
Yes, I heard about it.
1335
01:47:20,708 --> 01:47:22,916
I never thought he'd die this young.
1336
01:47:24,083 --> 01:47:29,166
When I think about how he could've
remained a comedian until the end,
1337
01:47:29,750 --> 01:47:32,000
I feel so responsible.
1338
01:47:32,666 --> 01:47:33,875
No…
1339
01:47:34,875 --> 01:47:37,625
I'm the one who should've done more,
1340
01:47:39,041 --> 01:47:40,000
so thank you.
1341
01:47:40,083 --> 01:47:41,375
Not at all.
1342
01:47:46,625 --> 01:47:52,250
When I first asked Master
about closing France-za,
1343
01:47:52,791 --> 01:47:55,541
he got really angry at me.
1344
01:47:56,750 --> 01:48:00,250
Well, I had been prepared for that.
1345
01:48:01,750 --> 01:48:06,333
What I didn't expect
was for Master to say,
1346
01:48:06,416 --> 01:48:10,125
"If I close this place,
what would happen to Take?"
1347
01:48:12,583 --> 01:48:13,875
Leave, you bastard!
1348
01:48:15,250 --> 01:48:17,208
-Master.
-I said leave!
1349
01:48:22,458 --> 01:48:26,333
It doesn't have to be now.
Please think about it.
1350
01:48:38,625 --> 01:48:40,041
If I close this place,
1351
01:48:41,916 --> 01:48:43,416
what would happen to Take?
1352
01:48:48,041 --> 01:48:50,125
Who's gonna look after him?
1353
01:48:52,041 --> 01:48:55,916
That fool is the real deal.
1354
01:48:58,708 --> 01:49:00,666
Until I teach him everything…
1355
01:49:03,166 --> 01:49:05,166
I can't close this place.
1356
01:49:07,458 --> 01:49:09,333
Even after you left,
1357
01:49:10,041 --> 01:49:14,458
I heard he visited other theater managers
with a bottle of sake as a gift,
1358
01:49:14,541 --> 01:49:19,666
and bowed to them saying,
"Please take care of them."
1359
01:49:20,583 --> 01:49:21,416
Hi, Master!
1360
01:49:22,000 --> 01:49:24,625
-I'm sorry, I know you're busy.
-It's fine.
1361
01:49:24,708 --> 01:49:29,625
-For you. Give them odd jobs or anything.
-I can't believe he bowed to others.
1362
01:49:33,125 --> 01:49:36,250
Even when he got involved with yakuza,
he never bowed.
1363
01:49:40,250 --> 01:49:42,458
He cared so much about you.
1364
01:49:43,916 --> 01:49:46,125
I wish he did the same for me.
1365
01:50:24,125 --> 01:50:25,916
Why did you do that, Master?
1366
01:50:28,041 --> 01:50:29,791
You're so impatient.
1367
01:50:34,791 --> 01:50:37,666
Someone is gonna burn you
when you die anyway,
1368
01:50:39,333 --> 01:50:41,625
so why bother burning yourself?
1369
01:50:52,250 --> 01:50:53,875
But I heard
1370
01:50:55,333 --> 01:50:57,625
they got a call from the crematory.
1371
01:50:59,333 --> 01:51:02,666
Since you're half-burned,
they'll do it at half price.
1372
01:51:04,041 --> 01:51:05,041
Man…
1373
01:51:07,208 --> 01:51:08,625
What a deal.
1374
01:51:10,791 --> 01:51:11,791
Right?
1375
01:52:33,833 --> 01:52:38,333
ASAKUSA FRANCE-ZA ENGEI HALL
TOYOKAN
1376
01:53:06,083 --> 01:53:10,791
{\an8}ASAKUSA FRANCE-ZA
1377
01:53:28,541 --> 01:53:29,750
Oh, Take!
1378
01:53:29,833 --> 01:53:32,791
I have lots of mikan oranges
so come get them later.
1379
01:53:56,291 --> 01:53:59,958
Listen, Take.
Don't suck up to your audience.
1380
01:54:00,833 --> 01:54:04,833
You tell them what's funny.
1381
01:54:18,708 --> 01:54:21,958
Oh, Take.
Master said we can do this skit tomorrow.
1382
01:54:22,041 --> 01:54:25,625
About the casting,
I think you'll be better as the novelist.
1383
01:54:25,708 --> 01:54:27,125
Is this enough?
1384
01:54:27,208 --> 01:54:31,375
Take, you wore this in a skit
without asking. I said no.
1385
01:54:31,458 --> 01:54:35,000
Look here. It's come undone.
What are you gonna do about it?
1386
01:54:37,833 --> 01:54:40,833
Ah, five minutes to curtain!
1387
01:54:42,083 --> 01:54:46,375
Take, I heard you spent all the money
that Master won on the horse race.
1388
01:54:46,458 --> 01:54:49,166
This is bad.
He's gonna be furious with you.
1389
01:54:58,541 --> 01:55:01,416
Take, Master's handing out
full-house bonuses.
1390
01:55:01,916 --> 01:55:03,166
But it's only 50 yen.
1391
01:55:03,250 --> 01:55:06,291
-Hey, stop!
-Why don't you get naked sometimes?
1392
01:55:06,375 --> 01:55:08,875
-Mari, stop. I mean it!
-Take, restrain him!
1393
01:55:08,958 --> 01:55:10,583
Hey, Take! Help!
1394
01:55:10,666 --> 01:55:12,791
Hey, Take! Whoa, no!
1395
01:55:13,375 --> 01:55:15,125
Hey… Oh, gee.
1396
01:55:15,208 --> 01:55:16,375
Pippi fled!
1397
01:55:16,458 --> 01:55:20,041
Hey, Take! That way! Hurry up!
1398
01:55:21,250 --> 01:55:23,375
Take! The toilet won't flush.
1399
01:55:23,458 --> 01:55:25,583
You studied engineering, right?
1400
01:55:28,750 --> 01:55:32,416
-You fool, lift it up more. More!
-You won't see them, Master.
1401
01:55:32,500 --> 01:55:33,875
Shut up. A little more.
1402
01:55:33,958 --> 01:55:37,125
Oh, I think we can see them.
Hey, Take! Help us!
1403
01:55:37,208 --> 01:55:39,333
-We can't!
-Oh, I think I saw them!
1404
01:55:39,833 --> 01:55:41,791
Those were panties, weren't they?!
1405
01:55:43,416 --> 01:55:46,500
Merry Christmas!
1406
01:55:46,583 --> 01:55:48,583
Hey, Take. Can we switch places?
1407
01:55:49,083 --> 01:55:50,833
-What, why? It's cute.
-No.
1408
01:55:50,916 --> 01:55:53,083
-It's cute, right, Take?
-No. Please.
1409
01:55:53,166 --> 01:55:56,416
Hey, Take! You got a little laugh
and got carried away.
1410
01:55:56,500 --> 01:55:59,291
How'd a five-minute skit
last 20 minutes, you fool?!
1411
01:55:59,375 --> 01:56:01,625
My skit was shortened because of that.
1412
01:56:01,708 --> 01:56:03,541
Know your place, you fool!
1413
01:56:06,041 --> 01:56:07,791
Take, you're late!
1414
01:56:08,583 --> 01:56:12,500
-He's finally here!
-Did you forget? I told you we'd go pray.
1415
01:56:12,583 --> 01:56:16,166
Get ready now.
Heaven will punish you for this.
1416
01:56:16,791 --> 01:56:18,458
We'll see you there!
1417
01:56:20,041 --> 01:56:22,958
Happy birthday!
1418
01:56:23,875 --> 01:56:27,291
Huh? Take… What are you doing, Take?
1419
01:56:27,375 --> 01:56:30,583
Hey, I told you to bring Master here.
1420
01:56:30,666 --> 01:56:32,416
No, no. Let's do it again.
1421
01:56:32,500 --> 01:56:35,291
-We're out of poppers.
-Master's coming!
1422
01:56:35,375 --> 01:56:36,750
What should we do?
1423
01:56:38,000 --> 01:56:39,250
Just smile!
1424
01:56:59,833 --> 01:57:02,833
Hey, you, right there.
Don't applaud unnecessarily.
1425
01:57:03,500 --> 01:57:06,541
Getting applause for that
isn't good for him.
1426
01:57:06,625 --> 01:57:10,958
Hey, I paid to see this!
Don't tell me what to do.
1427
01:57:11,500 --> 01:57:12,708
Who do you think you are?
1428
01:57:15,875 --> 01:57:17,916
I'm a comedian, you fool.
1429
02:02:38,083 --> 02:02:42,875
{\an8}Subtitle translation by: Tsuyoshi Koide