Qin Feng, why do you want to be a police officer?
Can't answer? Get out then.
Try next time.
It's no big deal.
Bring the aiplane ticket, take a vacation in Thailand.
He will treat you very well.
He is your
great-aunt's husband's cousin's wife's nephew.
Your third cousin, once removed.
Number One Detective of Chinatown.
Tang Ren.
Time is gone with the wind.
The past is the past.
We are childhood sweethearts...
What?
Grandma Wang's son has gone missing?
It's an important case.
I'll be sure to help her.
Get out of the car.
The gold is not here.
Are you sure?
We have searched everywhere. No sign of it.
Mr. Huang.
Kon Tai is here.
Thank you, Mr. Huang.
For what?
For protecting the crime scene for me.
Are you on drugs?
This is my precinct, so the case is mine.
I have been on the gold robbery for three months,
and almost caught the suspects with the goods.
Now the gold is gone,
and the suspect is dead.
And you tell me this is your case?
Why don't you ask the victim why he died in here.
Come again?
I'm in charge.
Don't make me punch you!
I'll pull the gun if you hit me.
You've got a problem with that?
Suspected murder weapon.
Why are you still standing here?
Check for finger prints.
Why are you still standing here?
Check for finger prints.
See if there are any other entrances,
windows or corridor.
See if there are any other entrances,
windows or corridor.
Pull the security footage outside the house,
and send to my office.
Pull the security footage outside the house,
and send to my office.
I dare you to repeat my words again!
I win!
Tang Ren, you really have some dumb luck.
Let me listen to the call first.
You can't leave right after you win.
Leave?
I have an azure dragon drinking on the left,
and a white tiger tail-whipping on the right.
Put sand in your pocket,
and the money follows.
Sit in front of a tree,
and God of Wealth will come.
I'm going to
win everything on you
including all your clothes.
Not you.
Autopsy report.
Give it to me.
What are you looking at?
What are you doing here?
You think you are in a gangster movie?
You two,
come to the conference room.
Come on.
The victim Sompat,
male, 37 years old, the owner of Sompat Workshop.
The suspect of the gold robbery in Chinatown.
The cause of death is blunt head trauma.
Eleven fatal wounds on the back of the head.
According to the wound edges,
the murderer is a mid-aged male.
The murder weapon
is this iron vajra.
I can't believe he killed him with this.
What about the finger prints?
We are processing it.
Yes.
The entrance?
According to the investigation, there is no other access
to the workshop other than the front door.
Yes, yes, yes.
Locked room murder.
I have pulled all the video footages
near Sompat Workshop.
There are four cameras outside the front door.
The video footages are automatically overwritten every seven days.
I have brought the footages here.
Yes.
What about the gold?
It's gone.
I assume that Sompat's partners killed him
and took the gold.
Yes.
You all know that Mr. Yan owns the gold.
Even the mayor called me for this. I feel a lot of pressure.
The one who nabs the suspect
and gets the gold back
will be
the deputy chief.
Yes sir.
Tang Ren.
You lose your mojo.
It doesn't make sense.
Come on.
Hello!
Mr. Tang, will you be here?
On the way.
Qin Feng.
Welcome to Thailand.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
You know I'm a famous detective,
and have a lot on my plate.
I was on a big case just now.
Are you
a mute?
I am...
Not a mute,
but a stutterer.
Forget about the college.
After a few happy days in Thailand,
you will even forget about your grandmother.
Do you know? Bangkok is
the paradise for guys
to have an unforgettable experience.
Tai,
you should drink three shots for getting here late.
I was on a case.
What's going on?
Nothing.
Where is your cousin?
There he is.
He doesn't look like you.
Not as cute as me, right?
He is my boss.
Tai from the Chinatown police.
Just have fun.
It's all on me.
Don't worry. I won't tell your grandma.
How old are you?
Are you still a virgin?
You are into men?
Shemales?
He has been stressed out at home.
Drink, drink.
You can count on me for the next few days.
I'll make it a life-enhancing trip for you.
Cheers.
You are in Bangkok.
Yours is drugged too?
You drank mine?
Mine is even spicier!
Quiet!
How can you do something like this
at such a young age?
I didn't...
What?
You didn't have enough?
You know,
it is hot water this time,
and it will be sulfuric acid next time.
Who are you?
I'm
I'm his...
Parallel cousin.
He is my little brother.
Do you know who this
noble and beautiful woman
you peeped is?
She is my landlady.
The most beautiful girl in Chinatown.
Xiang.
He is your cousin?
As cute as me, right?
No, as horny as you.
Tang Ren.
Play Mahjong with us.
You have to wait for another week.
I'm completely booked.
Uncle Xiang. Morning.
Who is he?
My cousin.
Chun.
They are bigger.
Nasty boy.
Come around for tea sometime.
Remember.
Don't you ever call me uncle.
Why?
When you become Jiny Ng?
They all think I'm born after the 90s.
So what should I call you?
Call me Tang.
And what do you call me?
Qin.
I have made you a schedule for the week.
Menam River.
Floating Market.
Shemale show.
Wat Arun.
And I will take you to
the best-known scenic spot in Thailand,
the Grand Palace.
I want to see the Siamese Twin.
What?
Ellery Queen.
The fictional detective.
Your grandma told me that
you are into all the freaky stuff.
Not freaky.
The novels and movies are trying to fool you kids.
If you want to be a detective,
go solve a missing person case with me now.
Do you want it like this?
Exactly like this.
I need to borrow some money.
I'll pay you back soon.
Surprise!
Grandma Wang.
I found your son.
Ban Ban
Why does he look different?
He has been starving,
and will recover in a couple of days.
Why doesn't he recognize Grandma?
He does now.
He does now. See?
Thanks.
Grandma Wang.
I'm on a big case.
Are you owing me something?
Um...
Tang.
This is fraud.
What do you know?
I care about the elderly's mental health.
It doesn't matter whether a dog is black or white,
as long as he can make the elderly happy.
Here you are.
This is your so-called case?
Be patient.
I'll take you to solve a crime now.
This one.
What do you think?
So...
So pretty?
So ugly.
What do you know?
Uncle Qiang,
give me some discount.
Forty percent.
I need to borrow some more.
What?
I'll pay you back soon. Don't you believe me?
I thought you are going to take me...
It's for the case.
Come on, come on.
What are you doing?
Why are you being so grumpy?
Where are you going?
I hate liars.
How did I lie to you?
You are a detective?
Absolutely.
You bought the necklace to solve a case?
Of course.
It's not a birthday gift for your landlady?
How do you know that?
Getting late for picking me up
is because you were playing Mahjong.
How do you know that?
You had strong smell of cigarettes,
bloodshot eyes,
and dirt in your fingernails,
especially your right hand.
Your left hand was stained,
but you are a right-handed smoker.
Your right trouser leg was dirtier than the left one.
And they were both worn out.
All these signs
lead to one thing.
Playing Mahjong.
I win!
You learn that from the novels?
Am I right?
I was...
I usually have a lot of cases.
For example?
Search for missing persons.
Cats and dogs.
Tail a suspect.
Someone's mistress.
Escort important supplies.
Express delivery.
How can you know it all?
They are all in Chinese.
You are such a loser.
Where else can you go?
You have to stay here for six more days.
If I upset you,
you can look away.
I'll be with you for six more days,
then my job is done.
I'll take you to the Grand Palace tomorrow.
Don't lie to me again.
I hate liars.
Fine.
No more lies.
The results for the fingerprints came in.
It's him.
Let's go.
Get him.
Yeah.
I'm talking about you.
Hot Fuzz.
Go, go, go!
Do you think
Xiang will kiss me when she sees this?
You should try it, too.
You will get cuter.
You think
I am a loser, don't you?
You think you are smarter than me?
Fine.
Let's play a game.
Quiz.
If I lose, I'll give you 50 baht.
If you lose, you have to give me 100 baht.
How about that?
Because you are smarter than me.
All right.
You are younger than me, so you ask me first.
What is the linear distance between the earth and sun?
The mean distance is 149,600,000 kilometers.
What is his name?
So what's the answer?
The answer is he's a man!
Buy me a coke. Cold one.
Be smart next time.
It's reddish between your eyes.
It means you are getting lucky with the ladies.
It's blackish at the top of your nose bridge.
It means you are about to be in big trouble.
Bah!
Sawatdee krab.
You killed someone and the police are after you.
You think that's funny?
You are surrounded by the cops.
Listen.
The evidence is conclusive. You are a dead man if you get arrested.
Run for your life.
Ready.
Go.
Come on, hurry up.
Hurry up!
He is a cop.
Run!
Let me be.
Get him!
Go.
I thought you were taking me to the Grand Palace.
Yeah.
To the Grand Palace.
Why, why...
Why are the police after you?
Yeah.
Why?
I'm asking you.
Why?
You hit me?
No, I didn't.
You didn't hit me?
No.
Why...
Why are they after you?
They said I killed someone.
Who did you kill?
Who did I kill?
Tell me who you killed.
Tell me who I killed.
How could I know who you killed?
How could I know who I killed?
Huang Landeng, how can you do something like this?
You catch my man in my precinct
without my knowledge?
Bastard.
Your bubby?
Are you kidding?
Everyone in Chinatown knows Tang Ren is my bubby.
You can ask them about it.
What evidence do you have for arresting him?
Landeng.
The evidence.
Three months ago in Chinatown,
four gold shops
were robbed overnight.
A ton of gold has gone missing.
The first suspect we locked in on in the robbery gang
is the craftsman Sompat from Sompat Workshop.
And we have verified that
the stolen gold is hidden in his workshop.
On April 15th,
when we were about to arrest Sompat,
he was found dead.
The time of death is
from 11 PM to 1 AM on April 14th.
According to our thorough investigation,
there is only one entrance to his workshop,
that is the front door.
Thanks to the CCTV footage
we found out that during the time the murder happened,
the only one who went into the crime scene
was Tang Ren.
Tang Ren's finger prints are all over the murder weapon,
and the gold is gone.
So we figure out that
Tang Ren is the short guy among the five suspects.
He double-crossed his partner,
and killed him
for the gold.
As long as we find Tang Ren,
we can retrieve the stolen gold.
Is that clear?
Yes!
Mr. Kon.
Do you still have something to say?
I've to declare that
I have nothing to do with that Tang Ren.
I thought you said everyone in Chinatown knows Tang Ren is your bubby.
I heard you are the big boss
of that private detective agency.
Don't you ever say anything like that.
I can sue you for slander.
I'll sue you for slander.
Every one of you please recognize what he's doing.
He is slandering me.
Hello
Tai, you...
Cut it out.
How dare you murder a man?
Don't say anything and I give you six hours
to turn yourself in.
Tai, I...
Cut it out.
Don't run away from this!
Never take a smuggler to leave Thailand,
and transfer to Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam and Burma.
Never let me see you again!
I will eat you alive if I do.
I will not live under the same sky with crime.
Great!
What should we do now?
I have to meet Kon Tai to figure this out.
You should turn yourself in.
What?
Turn yourself in.
There is no death sentence in Thailand anyway.
You only have to serve a sentence of about 40 years.
Are you
listening to yourself?
Who wants to be in jail for 40 years?
I am your uncle.
No, just a cousin.
Blood is thicker than water.
But you are a murderer.
I am not.
Tell this to the police.
Will they listen to me?
They dislike me actually.
It's alright when I behave,
but once I break the law,
they can do whatever they want to me.
I don't want to spend the rest of my life in prison.
It's none of my business.
I don't want to run anymore.
You know, you assaulted the police.
That's a felony in Thailand.
You have to stay in jail for at least a dozen years.
I'm a tourist.
You are in Thailand now. It's not up to you anymore.
Since you can't even speak fluent in your mother language,
who would listen to you?
They would beat you up at the dark side
and help you to write the confession
to throw you in prison.
Do you know what they have most in Thailand?
For a cute guy like you,
when you get in jail,
you will be gang-raped by a dozen big guys.
I'm Master of Grabbed
Thank you.
Thank you?
Cut it out.
Blindfold him.
Son of a bitch.
You poked my eyes,
and grabbed...
grabbed my nuts.
Enough.
Where is it?
What?
You are still playing dumb, aren't you?
I'll give whatever you want.
It seems you didn't take the hint.
Where is the gold?
The gold is on his neck.
Neck?
A tattoo?
We are all street boys.
Show me some respect.
Why is it incomplete?
I couldn't stand the pain when it was half done,
so I told them to stop.
A half-baked dragon.
Don't!
Cut it out!
It's not the gold I want.
Tell me,
after you killed Sompat,
where did you take the gold?
Who is Sompat?
You took their stuff,
just give it back.
Shut up! I am your uncle here.
Turns out you are his uncle.
Tell us,
or I'll shoot him.
That won't make me know something I don't.
Just tell him.
I am your nephew.
No, just a cousin.
I...
No. Stay calm.
Give me a hint.
That box of gold.
You mean
in the statue workshop?
Go on.
That man called me
and asked me to pick up the box.
We don't ask clients what they are shipping out.
Where did you take the box?
That man asked me
to deliver it to the underground parking lot of Haitian Mansion,
and drop it off next to a van.
King Kong.
Watch over them.
Okay.
Afro-hair
Let's go find the box.
Okay.
If you lie to me...
You can kill me.
You want to eat?
You stole our gold,
so we have to eat this.
Do it!
Again!
Let go!
Let go, let go!
We let go together.
Fine.
One, two, three.
Give me the necklace.
Here.
Come on.
Run!
Let go, let go, let go!
It's all your fault.
What about the Grand Palace?
You have caused me so many troubles here.
You are such a bird of ill omen.
Where are you going now?
I have to give this to Xiang.
Are you out of your mind?
I'll ask Tai to meet us there.
I don't want to die for no good reason.
How could the gangsters know where we were?
What are you talking about?
How could they have handcuffs?
You mean
they have a dirty cop in police force?
Even so, it can't be Tai.
You trust him?
I'm sure he won't lie to me.
Do you think the bike is still working?
Who knows.
Ask him for the case report
in Chinese.
Why?
You want to know who you killed, don't you?
Come in.
Hurry up.
What are you doing here?
You are wanted in all of Bangkok.
Happy birthday to you.
Nuts.
I didn't kill anyone. Do you trust me?
There is no point in me trusting you.
You have to make the police trust you.
So I want to meet Tai here to figure it out.
Did you steal the gold or not?
I...
It's Tai?
Go upstairs.
What do you want?
You are Xiang, right?
We are friends of Tang Ren.
Who is Tang Ren?
Drop the act.
Aren't you the love of his life?
Who the hell are you?
We are
Tang Ren's partners.
Come in.
Hurry up.
You really stole the gold?
Didn't he share it with you?
Yes.
Isn't it pretty?
He is so cheap.
You deserve more.
They didn't say how much you stole in the news.
Where is he?
I'll ask him to tell you himself.
Why does he have to meet me here?
If anybody sees this,
it will affect my reputation.
Where is he?
Mr. Huang.
Go upstairs.
Happy birthday...
Thank you.
Quiet!
You are home alone?
Yeah.
Nobody is celebrating your birthday for you?
I'm too old for that.
Who?
Nobody.
No way.
Mr. Huang.
There is nobody up there.
Mr. Huang.
Who is he?
My cousin.
I thought you said there's nobody here.
He is nobody.
He is retarded.
Mr. Huang.
I won't see you out since you are so busy..
Come to Night In Shanghai sometime.
I'm right next door.
You are so handsome.
Bye bye.
Who are they?
Tang Ren's partners.
Partners for what?
Robbing the gold shops.
They are not my partners.
We are.
You really stole the gold?
No, I didn't.
We did it together.
Bullshit.
You killed the man, too?
He killed him.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
You really killed him?
No, I didn't.
And I didn't steal the gold, either.
I don't have any partners.
So,
Who am I?
I know who you are.
He knows who you are.
But who the hell are they?
Yeah.
Who the hell are you?
You get it done?
No.
Follow me.
Mr. Huang, what brings you here again?
There is only my cousin upstairs.
Nobody else.
He just shows up out of thin air.
He is my other cousin.
Second elder cousin.
How many cousins do you have?
Where is your eldest cousin?
Your third elder cousin?
Happy Birthday to you.
Surprise!
Happy Birthday to you.
Thank you, guys.
Cousin.
You must feel surprised today.
Be happy.
Thanks.
Thank you, guys.
I have something else to do.
So I gotta go.
Goodbye, cousins.
Happy Birthday to you.
Goodbye, eldest cousin.
Xiang.
Your taste of men is so special.
Mr. Huang, I'll see you out.
Tai.
This is the last time I help you.
I've got you,
the things you need and the boat.
The time and place are all in here.
Tai.
Don't say anything.
I can't help you anymore.
I'd better never see you again for the rest of my life.
Take care.
Tai.
I have nothing to repay you for all these years' brotherhood.
Keep my heirloom as a token.
What the hell is this?
It's been blessed and efficacious.
With it, you can win the first prize of mark six.
Damn, horse race dividend is much better.
You really didn't kill that man?
Of course I didn't.
So why did you go there?
I was playing Mahjong,
and got a phone call from a stranger.
Sawatdee krab.
The caller
asked me to go to Sompat Workshop
at 12 PM on April 14th...
I went to go pick it up
and drop it off at the parking lot of Haitian Mansion.
And he said...
he would pay me there.
That man asked me to fill out a carrier's note,
and gave me the money.
The man was still alive when I left.
Where is the box?
I delivered it
to the parking lot of Haitian Mansion as asked.
There was only one van waiting.
Did you see the consignee?
No, I didn't.
That man asked me to put the box next to the van.
It was so gloomy.
No one will be there.
I was sure it was a jinx.
So I left right away.
Didn't you open the box?
It was sealed.
Who would know there was gold inside?
Interesting.
Interesting?
According to the evidence,
you are the murderer.
No, I am not.
So how did he die?
How would I know?
I've been tricked.
Don't you want to know the truth?
I want to survive.
Stay here.
For what?
Solving the case.
Are you ok?
Why do you talk nonsense then?
It's fun.
Bullshit.
I'm risking my life.
You are on your own now.
I have to leave.
The boat is here.
I'm getting out of here.
Goodbye, Thailand.
Thailand.
I don't know
how to explain to the folks.
Why do I suddenly go back when I have a good life here?
To think that
I'll never see Xiang again.
I am torn with grief.
Torn with grief, you know?
Come on, hurry up.
We are leaving.
They are going to China, too?
Who told you that?
So where are you going?
Equatorial Guinea.
What?
Equatorial Guinea.
Where is that?
I think it's in Africa.
Will we die there?
Maybe...
we will...
die on the boat.
Get on board.
No, no, no.
Are you coming or not?
No, we are not.
We are not?
I'd rather go to prison.
You go ahead.
Go.
Let's solve the case.
No way.
You are just a loser rejected by the police academy.
You are the Number One Detective of Chinatown, aren't you?
Detective my ass.
I'm not a detective, neither are you.
But we can probably solve it together.
What are you doing?
We need to equip ourselves for the case.
Why don't we look like detectives at all?
What's this?
It can check Feng Shui
and find good or bad luck.
The ancients use it to seek treasures,
while I use it to track down murderers.
It's a Chinese treasure of five thousand years.
The Americans use it to find aliens.
Its name is
Dowsing Rod.
And our ancestors called it
Dragon-seeking Ruler.
The van parked right there.
But now it's gone.
What have you found?
Due to the unity in the heart
it points to the south.
The murderer is there.
A van without a plate.
An abandoned parking lot.
Conspiracy.
It must be a conspiracy.
The van had been parked here for a long time.
The left-front tire is new.
What are you doing?
Sherlock Holmes can identify the carriage type
by the smell on the ground.
Fish odor.
Do you smell that?
No.
Not at all.
You have a dog's nose?
What else do you remember about that van?
Nothing.
Do we have to find that seafood van
in the six million vehicles of Bangkok?
There aren't that many seafood market in Bangkok, are there?
Let's go to Klong Toey first. It's in the south.
Yeah.
We had a white van like this,
but it was scrapped a month ago.
Scrapped? So where is it now?
The junk yard.
What?
Do you register your own garbage at home?
You have to find it yourselves.
Come on, let's go.
Come on.
The airflow scatters in all directions and doesn't come back.
It's a haunted house.
Do what you have to do.
We can't stay here for too long.
What are you doing?
This is called professional.
There is really no other entrance here.
So?
So you are the murderer.
He sat right here when I left.
But nobody else came here after you left.
So?
So you are the murderer.
You got anything?
Nothing.
Can you say something else other than "shit?"
The room is neither messy nor smelly.
He must be a sissy or a gay.
I have searched here,
and found nothing at all.
There are two more rooms.
Keep searching.
You can't hide so much gold
without being noticed.
Tang Ren must have transferred it.
Hello.
We haven't found it.
It must have been...
transferred by Tang Ren.
Okay.
I will be right there.
Go!
Poked my eyes,
and grabbed my nuts.
My behind is still burning now.
I'll kill him when I get him.
I'm sure I will kill him.
What are you looking at?
Nothing.
Who is he calling?
The man who called you and told you to run away.
The man who saw us but let us go.
Huang Landeng's assistant?
Why would he do that?
Give it a guess.
He thought I had the gold.
So he doesn't want me to be arrested.
You are not that dumb after all.
Is he one of the robbers?
Plus the victim.
That's all five of them.
So who asked me to transfer the gold?
If we find him, we can solve the case.
And I will be proved innocent.
But who is he?
I don't know.
You don't know?
You tell me you don't know after such a long night?
I have to watch the surveillance footages first.
They are at the police station.
Yeah.
So?
So you have no access to them.
I have to watch them.
You think you own the police station or what?
You can't do whatever you want.
It's nearly dawn.
We can ask Tai for help.
Don't you want to have some sleep?
We haven't slept for two days.
When you are put into jail,
you can sleep for 40 years.
Who is this?
Tai, it's me.
Tang Ren, are you calling from Malaysia or South Korea?
I'm on your doorstep.
Why are you still here?
I have to prove my innocence.
I have to find the killer.
You think you are in a movie?
Hamlet.
You've got to help me.
I have helped you to leave Thailand.
You've got to help me again.
I will be fired.
If they know you collect bribes
and own a mini casino...
How dare you threaten me?
If you wife knew you have a mistress...
How can I help you?
We want the details on Sompat.
And his expense lists for the last six months.
Okay.
And we have to go to the police station
to watch the surveillance footages.
Are you crazy?
You and the police chief's wife...
Let's draw up a plan.
Huang Landeng keeps
all the computer data in his office.
To get to his office,
you have to go through the office areas
of a dozen of cops.
It's impossible.
We can go in at night.
All the computer systems turn off automatically at night.
And I don't have the password.
We go there during daytime then.
It won't take too long.
You are both wanted.
Do you think all the cops are blind?
Why do you look at me?
You draw them away.
Draw them away?
What are you talking about?
Send more people to the airport, railway station and ports
to find Tang Ren.
If Tang Ren leaves Bangkok,
you will be fired.
Out!
Get out!
A short guy,
who has curly hair,
small eyes,
and a gold tooth.
It's curious.
We can't find him anywhere in Bangkok.
Hurry.
Sawatdee krab.
Tang Ren?
Get him!
Stop him!
Hurry!
Get him!
Get down!
Hit him!
Don't step on me!
I'm the chief.
Seven days of video footages
before the murder from the four cameras are all here.
Play them for me,
starting from day one.
It's impossible for you to watch them all.
Just play them.
Fast forward.
Faster.
What can you see at such a high speed?
Faster.
Mr. Huang. Mr. Huang.
Wipe it off.
Stop it!
Get him!
What did you get?
Where is the stuff I want?
All in here.
They are in Thai.
Why are you here?
My computer crashed.
So I used yours to play games.
Play games?
Oh, actually I'd watch porno.
We are men, you know?
Sompat got divorced with his wife nine years ago.
It doesn't mention the reason here.
He moved to Bangkok from Lamkan
and ran the statue workshop.
He has a son called Dan,
who went missing a year ago.
Can you read Thai?
Where...
Where is this?
A Chinese market.
It's in Chinatown.
And where is this?
Lucky Coffee Shop.
It points to the east.
This way.
Where are we going?
The coffee shop.
What does the coffee shop have to do with it?
Answer me.
I watched all the footages.
Before you were there,
everybody went in and out.
And after you left,
nobody went in.
Besides,
there is only one entrance.
So you think I'm the murderer?
Or...
Who?
A ghost.
What does the ghost have to do with the coffee shop?
According to the placement of the camera,
the victim used it all the time.
But there's no SD card in it.
Unless...
It was taken out.
I still don't know
what it has to do with the coffee shop.
For the past three months,
the usual visits of the victim
are the supermarket,
and the coffee shop.
Why did he go all the way there to have coffee?
Because the coffee there is good.
This is the last clue.
Are you coming or not?
The murderer is so arrogant that he provoked at the police station!
And you actually let him slip away!
I will order all the cops of Bangkok to get Tang Ren.
Three days. I'll give you three days.
If you can't get him by then,
the warning letter is well prepared.
Have you seen this guy?
This guy
used to come here all the time.
He sat there every time.
But he hasn't shown up
for a while.
Anything special about him?
Nothing special.
He often aimed his camera
at the outside,
and took pictures.
Sawadee krub.
Sirs,
coffee or tea?
Do we have to drink something?
Come on, this is a coffee shop.
Fine, a coffee for me.
100 baht.
Thank you.
Why do you want to take pictures of a busy building?
The building was his target.
I want to check the household register here.
No, you can't.
Sirs, coffee or tea?
I thought we ordered coffee.
But you left.
But we come back now.
You have to order again when you come back.
We just went to the bathroom.
First, you went to the bathroom at the same time.
Second, you didn't use our bathroom.
Third, it took you too long
in the bathroom.
A coffee for me.
100 baht.
I'll be sure to dislike your shop at openrice.com
Thank you.
What does this mean?
Gong...Gong Pa.
Ding...Shading.
Gong Tai Pu Sa Ti Sa San.
The name of a middle school.
Sompat's son went there.
This is the only overlapping information in the two materials.
Is it a breakthrough?
What a Super Brain you have!
You are a human camera and an automatic recognition machine.
Let's see who they are.
Who is it?
The police.
What should we say?
Leave it to me.
You are Chinese?
Yeah, so are you.
Girl, what a coincidence.
Look.
We are with the police.
Can we ask you a few questions?
Um.
What's your name?
I'm Snow.
You parents are not home?
My dad went to work.
You are too young to be a cop, aren't you?
He is my assistant.
Girl.
Do you know him?
He is my schoolmate next door.
He hasn't gone to school for a long time.
Everybody says he went missing.
Do you know why?
Do you know this guy?
Have you been stalked
by anyone lately?
No.
Have anything weird happened to you lately?
Or have you run into any weirdos?
Do you guys count?
What are you doing?
You
are so pretty.
Thank you.
Ah, youth.
Have you got anything?
You have a crush on her, don't you?
What are you talking about?
It's so obvious.
Again!
Our boss wants to see you.
Nice to meet you, boss.
Do you know who the owner of the stolen gold is?
Mr. Yan.
Mr. Yan, we didn't steal the gold.
The police told me it was you.
The police make mistakes all the time.
I know the five guys who stole your gold.
Who are they?
Let us go after I tell you.
Are you bargaining with me?
No, no, no.
The victim Sompat,
Huang Landeng's assistant, Tony,
a northeasterner,
a Vietnamese with afro hair style
and a fat,
big guy,
who looks like a fool.
How do I know you are telling the truth?
He can prove it.
I can prove it.
Are you performing standup comedy?
I can prove it, too.
Xiang.
Mr. Yan.
I met those three guys.
And I know that
Kon Tai helped him get the boat to leave here.
If they have the gold,
they wouldn't have stayed.
Xiang.
Shut up.
Mr. Yan.
Please trust me.
Even if you didn't steal it,
you transferred it from Sompat's Workshop.
I knew nothing about it.
For Xiang's sake,
I'll give you ten days to find the gold.
I won't press you
for ten days.
Find it in time,
or I will throw you into the Menam River to feed the crocodiles.
Thank Mr. Yan for that.
Ten days?
How about twenty days?
Seven days.
Half a month. Half a month will do.
Five days.
Fine, fine.
Five days.
It can't be less than that.
What do you think?
Okay, it's a deal.
Three days.
Just three days.
Are you out of your mind?
All right, three days.
- It's a deal. - You are gonna get me killed.
- I'll give you three days. - I don't have that much time before I go home.
Just let me know
if you need any help.
Find the gold in time,
or I promise that
you will be fed to the crocodiles.
Crazy.
You must be crazy.
You asked for three days instead of five.
How can we find the gold in three days?
Do you know who Mr. Yan is?
Most of the gold shops in Chinatown are owned by him.
The taxi company, floating market, Chinese market and KTV club
are all owned by him.
Nobody wants to mess with him in Thailand,
the officials or the gangsters.
Even the president shows him respect.
He's just like a Yamaraja.
He can control your life or death.
He meant you,
not us.
What are you talking about?
You want to be done with me now?
Aren't we partners?
The detectives of Chinatown?
And I'm your uncle, too.
You are inhumane!
Where are we going now?
To the girl's school.
You are going to pick up girls now?
Man,
we only have three days.
Then we will be fed to the crocodiles.
Only after we solve the murder
can we find the gold.
Bullshit. Do you have any clues?
I have been with you these days.
I don't think you have gotten anything.
Where is the murderer?
You don't even know
when he went in and out.
You think you are a real detective
because you read a few fiction novels?
You've got it wrong.
I'm on vacation here.
And?
I haven't gone to the Grand Palace,
and I haven't
eaten or slept for the last few days.
Anyway, there are three days left.
I know.
Three days later,
you will fly home,
and leave me here for the crocodiles, won't you?
Yeah.
We are partners.
The detectives of Chinatown.
They are all lies, aren't they?
Yeah.
I am your uncle.
No, just a cousin.
I don't have a loser uncle like you.
You are Tang, and I'm Qin.
You think I can't find the gold
and solve the case without you?
I don't want to be your babysitter anymore.
You think I want to be with a moron like you?
Break up!
Fine.
Break up!
Mr. Yan wants to see you.
Where is your uncle?
He is not with you?
I...
Nobody's home. Let's go.
Give me a light.
Why are you alone at home again?
My parents died in a car accident,
and my stepfather adopted me from the orphanage.
He went to work.
What about your parents?
My mom passed away a long time ago.
What about your dad?
He is in prison.
What did he do?
I don't know.
Is he a bad guy?
Good?
Or bad.
It depends.
You've always been talking like this?
I barely talked when I was younger.
I'm better now.
Why did you pose as the police?
Who told you that?
I knew it from the news report.
So why did you invite me in?
I don't think you are a bad guy.
But why did you come to me?
Dan's father
had been stalking you.
Did he?
Why?
I also want to know that.
Our physics teacher left us a funny assignment today.
To make a piece of paper stand.
It can't be so simple.
Yeah, you are right.
Dad.
Who is he?
My classmate.
I gotta go.
I'll see you out.
Huang Landeng.
Stop chasing me.
Only if
you stop running.
I will,
as soon as you stop.
Not before
you stop.
Go ahead.
I'm exhausted.
Don't push me.
If you push me again,
I'll jump.
Go ahead, jump!
God bless me.
Even God can't help you now.
Tang Ren.
You stole the gold,
and murdered Sompat.
You are under arrest.
Sawadee krub.
Tang Ren, come back here!
I knew you were here.
I know.
You said there was nobody
going in or out but me in the footages, right?
Right.
You and the police are sure
there's no other entrance, right?
Yeah.
Sompat
was killed by the vajra.
Is it possible that
he did too many evils,
and the vajra made its power felt.
The vajra is here!
How can you laugh at such a creepy thing?
The video footages
are automatically ovenwritten every seven days.
So?
I don't believe in supernatural beings.
The only explanation is that
the murderer had been hiding here a week before.
What?
Hiding here a week before.
How is that possible?
In Shogo Utano's "The Secret Chamber of the Seeker",
the murderer hides in the courtyard
for a month to kill someone.
Man, that's fictional.
Sherlock Holmes said,
"When you have eliminated all which is impossible,
then whatever remains, however improbable,
must be the truth."
So where did he hide?
He'd be discovered, wouldn't he?
Do you remember Dan's room?
Sompat didn't go to the room of his dead son often.
So the murderer hid under Dan's bed.
That footprint
was left by him accidentally.
Yes.
But what did he eat every day?
And what if he wanted to go the bathroom?
Sompat often went to the coffee shop,
remember?
This guy used to come here all the time.
A man who wants to kill you
has been hiding in your home.
It's so creepy just to think about.
Now let's re-enact the murder.
Is it necessary?
To solve the crime,
you have to approach it,
or even be it.
I'll play you,
and you'll play Sompat.
Sir,
I'm here for a pick up.
No.
What?
I didn't stutter.
Fine, you'll play yourself,
and I'll play Sompat.
Remember,
don't miss any details.
I'm here for a pick up.
Sit.
Stop.
Your finger prints.
Go on.
Stop.
Again?
Are you sure
he gave you the money first,
then handed you the note?
Yeah, why?
All he said to you was "sit"?
Yes.
Okay.
Go on.
Stop.
I knew it.
When you left,
you didn't see Sompat?
He was in his studio, and all I saw was his silhouette.
His silhouette.
Silhouette, silhouette, silhouette.
The Sompat you saw that day
was like this, wasn't he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
What's going on?
Where is the murderer?
He is right under your eyes.
You are the murderer?
Yes, I am the murderer.
Stop it!
No.
The man I play is the murderer.
You play Sompat.
You mean Sompat killed himself?
I know.
He committed suicide.
Detective,
try to smash the back of your own head.
So what the hell was going on?
You didn't see his face clearly, did you?
Yeah, the light was too dim.
Was it like this that day?
Yeah, exactly like this.
He didn't want you to see him clearly.
Because he was not Sompat.
He was...
- The murderer.
The murderer is here!
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
Who is he?
He wants to kill us.
It means...
What?
We are right.
We are right?
Oh, no!
Run!
Tang!
Qin!
Tang!
Qin!
Tang!
Tang, I'm here!
Qin!
Come on, help us.
Come on, come on.
Are you insane?
Let's go!
One, two, three.
What do you want this for?
This is evidence.
Which is more important,
your life or solving the case?
They are both important.
Let's go.
Mr. Yan has blown my cover.
I can't stay in Thailand anymore.
You can go to Australia.
It's got great sunshine,
and delicious seafood.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Are you kidding me?
It's simple.
I'll count to three.
And you tell me where the gold is.
Or I'll shoot her.
One.
We really don't know.
Really?
I really don't know!
Really?
Really!
Brothers.
Have some pity on me.
I am damned.
We have planned
for this over half a year.
And when we finally got the gold,
it was gone.
Now I can't stay in Thailand anymore.
I still have to provide for my mother.
I have to leave here.
I am in misery.
Put the gun down.
You tell him.
Me?
I...
Oh, well, he is a stutterer.
And even more so when he is nervous.
Take it easy. I can wait.
I have a lot of time.
Two.
Don't!
I...
I know!
You won't stutter if you sing.
You can sing it out.
I can't sing.
What's so difficult about that?
Sing along with me.
Time is gone with the wind.
Ready?
Sing!
Time is gone...
Stop, stop, stop.
You are out of tune. You sing it wrong.
So la so mi.
La mi la do la do.
Time is gone...
La mi la do la do.
With the wind.
It's better now. Your "time" sounds very well.
You have to keep "wind" longer.
Wind.
Keep it longer.
Gone with the wind.
Wind.
Do you think I'm dumb?
Am I dumb?
Fine. It's okay.
This is your last chance.
No!
Two and a half.
Just tell him!
I...
You are such a loser,
stuttering when the crunch comes.
No wonder you can't get into college.
No college will admit a little stutterer like you.
I'm better than you.
You think you are a detective,
but you are actually an old hooligan.
How dare you call me that?
So what? You old hooligan!
You little stutterer!
You old hooligan!
You little stutterer!
You old hooligan!
- I'm the point. - You old stutterer!
Little hooligan!
Xiang!
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
Xiang!
Call Uber to take her to the hospital
Call Uber?
Call the ambulance!
Xiang!
Please stop here.
Let's go!
To where?
The police are here!
I don't care!
They can arrest me here.
Xiang.
Now I know how much you love me.
You are willing to take a bullet for me.
How can I let her down?
You think too much.
When she gets well,
I'll have kids with her.
A lot of kids.
Why do you look at me?
Thanks for saving me.
I hope you don't blame me for dragging you down.
Your vacation
turns out like this.
Why did you come to Thailand?
Anyone
who has a good life at home
won't go to another country.
We all have reasons
to go abroad and stay.
It's not like that.
The whole town
knew about the scandal soon.
I finally
knew that...
What material do you want to use?
Being pitied by everyone is more miserable
than being despised by them.
It's been a long time.
Don't you want to go home?
There is no place
like home.
But what can I do, even if I go back?
I have been bragging about my life here.
They all think I have a successful career.
But
I have to bear my own cross.
And nobody knows my bitterness.
Anybody who stays away from home
has their own problems.
What about you?
You are so smart.
It's a big loss of the police force for rejecting you.
Qin Feng.
Why do you want to get into the Criminal Police College?
It's so hard to answer?
I
don't want to lie to you.
We don't want you to lie.
I want to
commit a perfect crime.
What?
You actually said that?
You are really a freak.
You read all the books and watch all the movies
not to solve crimes, but to commit one?
Does it have something to do with your dad in prison?
I'll tell you next time.
Next time? When is that?
It's not life threatening.
She is fine.
We can't run away this time.
The case is almost solved, isn't it?
How about we surrender?
No, I need the last piece of the puzzle.
We have to run again?
Yeah.
With all the police out there,
we really can't escape this time.
Got it!
Let's get help.
Brother.
Any news?
Tony says Tang Ren and the gold are all in the hospital.
Brother,
our ordeal is coming to an end.
Finally!
Come on!
Hurry up! Get in!
You didn't die in peace.
Quiet.
Quiet, quiet.
Stop!
It will never happen again. Yes, Mr. Mayor.
You all heard that.
We have actually accomplished something in this operation.
We shot a man dead and arrested two
of the robbery gang.
So you blew off a hospital?
It was the police station last time,
and now it's the hospital.
Do you have to blast all of Bangkok to get Tang Ren?
No. No.
I'm not listening to your crap.
No.
Tomorrow is the deadline.
If you can't get him by then,
you can sell yourselves at COWBOY!
I thought you said warning letter.
Get out!
Do you know who the murderer is?
Snow's stepfather, Lee.
How can it be him?
He works at the junk yard.
It's a coincidence.
But it doesn't mean he is the murderer.
He took a week's leave
before April 13th.
Not so much a coincidence, huh?
How do you know that?
I asked the Chinese guy in the junk yard.
But what about the gold?
We have two days left.
I don't want to go to prison or be fed to the crocodiles.
This is all elaborately planned by him.
We can find the gold when we find the murderer.
So where are we going now?
To figure out the motive for murder.
Snow.
Sleeping pills. Suicide.
What are you doing?
Give her mouth-to-mouth.
Cut it out. It's not like she is drowned.
Right, let's take her to hospital.
What's in there?
The motive.
What motive?
What's really in there?
How is she?
We have pumped her stomach.
She is out of danger now.
She is fine.
We are haunted.
Little Tang.
I figured it out.
What?
Let's find the van first.
Where are you going?
Sompat Workshop.
Now?
This is our last chance.
For what?
Finding the gold.
Mr. Huang,
it's Tang Ren.
Over there.
Get him, go, go, go!
Block them at the next intersection.
Look there!
It's the Grand Palace.
Don't fire. I want him alive.
Tang Ren,
stop resisting
and surrender now.
What do we do now?
You have nowhere to go now.
Run them over!
Run now!
Get him alive!
Here!
Get in the car!
Excuse me! Excuse me!
We can't get to Chinatown this way.
Call Mr. Yan.
Thank you for giving Tony to me.
But you only have less than two days.
We don't need two days.
We can get your gold back today.
But you have to help us!
Go, go!
Go out of the way!
Go around it!
Help from heaven.
Let's go!
You just signed your own death warrant.
Besiege here!
What the hell are you looking for?
The gold.
It has been transferred by me, hasn't it?
It should still be here.
It's over 100 kg.
Shouldn't be so hard to find.
The police have searched several times,
and didn't find anything.
Come on!
What if we can't find it?
We are dead meat then.
The megaphone!
The men in there, listen carefully.
Don't kick against the pricks.
You are besieged.
Tang Ren, I only have so much patience.
I'll count to three.
If you don't come out by then,
we are going in.
We are going in.
One.
Two.
Three.
Tang Ren, what's wrong with you?
Holding the Buddha statue hostage?
Huang Landeng.
The gold you are looking for is in here.
What the hell?
The gold was in here the whole time.
It never left the place.
But,
Sompat made it into a Buddha statue,
and didn't tell his partners
before he got killed.
The five suspects
of the robbery gang
are Sompat,
your assistant Tony,
and the three guys in the hospital yesterday.
The owner of the stolen gold, Mr. Yan, can prove that.
But you are still the murderer.
No, not me.
It's someone else.
We have found him.
And we can take you to him now.
To testify against him.
Huang Landeng.
I know you are the Hot Fuzz.
Don't you want to know the truth?
It's thrilling.
I'll trust you one more time.
Don't play tricks with me.
The gold robbery case is yours.
What?
And the homicide case is mine.
I...
And I will be the deputy chief, too.
Here, it's brain-boosting.
Do you have any questions?
You get to
confront with the murderer.
Why me again?
What...
What do you think?
You shouldn't have done this.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Employer.
What are you talking about?
We have met.
On the night Sompat died.
Don't you remember that?
I don't know what you are talking about.
It sounds like a line of the villain in a lame film.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like to point out that
the murder of Sompat
and the gold robbery are two different cases.
But coincidentally,
Sompat was one of the robbers,
so it brings
so much trouble for Detective Huang and me.
Get to the point!
The story begins on April 7th,
seven days before the murder.
On that day,
I got a phone call from a stranger.
Sawadee krub.
Now I know that
the caller is Mr. Lee here.
It's a part of his plan -
finding a fall guy first.
I went to Sompat Workshop as asked.
I thought the guy I met was Sompat,
but the man I really saw
was Mr. Lee.
It's impossible.
How did he get into the workshop?
He doesn't even show up in the footages.
Mr. Lee knows
the video footages
are automatically ovenwritten every seven days.
So he hid in Sompat's workshop
a week in advance.
The footprint he left under the bed
gives him away.
On the night of April 14th,
With careful timing,
Mr. Lee killed Sompat with the vajra
before I showed up.
Mr. Lee didn't turn on the light that night.
He lit a candle instead.
Because it could not only dazzle me,
but also burn out itself.
And he
dressed like Sompat,
and put on wig and glasses
to make me believe that
he was Sompat.
Soon,
I arrived in time.
I came for the pick up.
Now for the highlight of the story.
What we couldn't figure out was
how the killer left the crime scene.
Just a while ago,
when I knocked over a trolley in the hospital,
I figured it out.
This is so perfect.
What he asked me to pick up
was himself.
He got into the wooden box
and turned on the speaker in the studio
to make me believe
the working man was Sompat.
But in fact,
what I saw was a dead body.
He locked the box from inside.
I thought I left with a Buddha statue.
And you thought I left with the gold.
But no one ever thought that
I left with him,
the murderer.
In Jacques Futrelle's "The Problem of the Lost Radium",
the murderer sneaks into the lab lying in a suitcase.
In Yugo Aosaki's
Murder in the Gym,
the murderer
left the scene in a trolley.
It's not
something new
in our detective world.
The murderer
took advantage of the surveillance footages
to set me up,
and took advantage of me to bring the real murderer out.
I have to say,
he did such a good job.
If he didn't
miss a step
and took the Number One detective of Chinatown
as his fall guy,
the crime
he committed
would be perfect.
It sounds interesting.
But what's his motive?
You must know that
Sompat's son, Dan
went missing a year ago.
Yes.
But what you don't know
is that Dan
is Snow's schoolmate.
It led us
to another
brokenhearted story.
You must have read
this journal.
Whose journal is it?
Hers.
She tried to burn it before she committed suicide,
but we stopped her in time.
What's in the journal?
The motive for murder.
Snow's journal
keeps track of the psychological changes of Sompat
after his son had gone missing.
He started to stalk his son's schoolmates.
It's so creepy.
What's creepier is that
he brought Snow home
and raped her.
Shut up!
The girl felt ashamed to tell anybody,
so she kept the painful experience
in her journal.
But unfortunately,
the stepfather read the journal one day.
Even if what's in the journal is true,
you can't testify against me.
I have never gone to that workshop,
or met Sompat.
That van
comes from the junk yard.
And you work there, don't you?
It's just a coincidence.
Where is the evidence?
We fought against the real murderer last night.
If I've got it right,
your right arm is injured.
Even if I am,
it's from an accident at work a few days ago.
You...
Look at you.
Your eyebrows are pointy at front and wide at rear.
And you have a black mole at you Life Palace,
bloodshot eyes, and crow's feet.
Someone having a face like that
is either violent or wicked.
You want evidence,
don't you?
The Bluetooth-enabled speaker
can remember the users.
Turn on your phone,
and see if it connects automatically.
Dad,
is this true?
I don't regret this.
I love you.
I know.
No,
You don't know.
I love you.
He has retrieved the stolen gold,
and killed the murderer who tried to escape.
So welcome our next
deputy chief of Chinatown police,
Kon Tai.
I hope you will come to Thailand again.
Thank you.
You have to come to our wedding.
Who says I'm gonna marry you, pauper?
I have to call you aunt now, don't I?
Of course.
Aunt?
Isn't he your brother?
Aren't you born after the 90s?
Goodbye.
Liar!
What?
You don't want to leave, do you?
What will you miss more, Thailand or Thai people?
What are you talking about?
I mean you don't want to leave me.
Stop, stop!
What is on
that sign?
It's the name of that bar.
It's the most famous gay bar in Bangkok.
Sompat got divorced with his wife nine years ago.
The room is neither messy nor smelly.
He must be a sissy or a gay.
I thought you are going home today.
I...
I want to tell you a story.
Both you and that uncle love stories.
A boy went missing.
His father had been looking for him.
He suspected that his son died.
More importantly,
he thought the murderer of his son
might be a girl.
The girl found that out.
She was afraid to get exposed,
So
she decided to get rid of the father.
She knew about the perverted love her stepfather had for her.
So,
she fabricated a journal,
and let her stepfather read it intentionally.
I wonder what's in the part
that has been ripped off,
the thing she doesn't want us to know.
Maybe...
It's the way of murder.
If I can kill him,
I'd find a scrapped van
and a fall guy first.
I'd get into his house before the footage is automatically overwritten.
I'd make him suffer thousands of times worse than I did.
The girl didn't expect we were coming after her.
So she changed her plan
to use us
to get rid of her perverted stepfather.
The timing that journal showed up
and its burning speed
were exactly on spot.
But the girl doesn't know
the man she framed a rape against
is a gay.
You don't stutter now.
Of course,
these are all hypothesized.
No evidence can prove the sexual orientation of a dead man.
But I really don't understand that.
Forget it.
This book says,
while we are individual lives,
the summation of good and evil is invariant.
Everyone plays his role from birth.
Some of them are good,
and some of them are evil.
What are you?
Should the villain smile like this?
So this is it?
There's nothing else I can do.
Nobody cares about the truth.
They only believe
the truth they want to see.
Good and evil are incompatible.
When there is evil,
there has to be good.
Yeah.
There are so many mysteries.
As detectives of Chinatown, we have to uphold justice,
and punish the evil and praise the good.
The plane!
What should I do?
How would I know that?
So I have to endorse the visa.
Or you can stay.
For another seven days.
I'll take you to the Grand Palace tomorrow.
No!
Sawadika
Detective Weirdo Made In China
Sawadika
The unpleasant top kill
Such adorable,
who said gold grillz do not belong to handsome
So attractive,
top detective can also stammer
Hot and furious,
I'm gonna turn Bangkok upside down
Now is the time,
I will ignite your passion
Show you the brand
new Super Star among detectives
Rushing down the road,
box office skyrocketing
Direnjie is out
I love adventures,
cowards get out of my way
Get away from my sight,
let me get justice done
I just want to ask for trouble,
let all my opponents know
My rampant arrogance
shall overcome all evil
This is the feeling I want
Our alliance shall solve all mysteries
Even those unsolvable cases for Detective Conan
Sherlock Holmes will have a hard time dealing with my cases
The trouble I run into makes Justice Bao shake his head
Sawadika
Detective Weirdo Made In China
Sawadika
The unpleasant top kill
Such adorable,
who said gold grillz do not belong to handsome
So attractive,
top detective can also stammer
We are the perfect best partners
Standing next to each other, strike with crushing blow
No matter what obstacle life prepares for us
We need to bounce back and slap it back
I love adventures,
cowards get out of my way
Get away from my sight,
let me get justice done
I just want to ask for trouble,
let all my opponents know
My rampant arrogance
shall overcome all evil
This is the feeling I want