Humans?
So tiny!
Why poke my foot?
Monk Tang, over here!
Monk Tang
Over here!
You've been asleep for ages
We wanted to wake you...
We have good news...
Sorry
Monk Tang, we have great news to tell you
Congratulations!
You're in the place...
...you've always dreamed of
This is India?
Correct!
India
I've reached my destination at last
Sorry
Master
You've shrunk too?
Master, why are you in India too?
Monk Tang, you haven't let me down
You wanted 22 sutras
They're loaded on 10 horsecarts
They're yours if you want them
Help yourself
But the main reason I'm here today...
...is to give you an award
What award?
For living this long
Try it on
What an honor
I like it
Discreet or bold...
You control it
The right side is brighter, you see?
You can even it up
May we ask for a few words?
I need to think about it
Master!
What...is going on?
Have fun!
Monk! Pay your way...
...or the boss will throw you out
I know
Blindfold knife-throwing! Amazing physical feats!
Roll up, roll up! Don't miss this!
Our guest stars are travelers heading west...
The pig, the fish and the monkey
Greatest show on earth
Only two cents per person
How about half price?
Buy one, get one free?
It's a deal
Thank you
Show time
The gorgeous...Pigsy!
Woman...
What's your name? Your age?
Crazy!
The great fish monster...
...Sandy!
How dare you scare my kid! Shame on you!
Money back!
Money back?
Making me angry?
Money back!
Give us another chance!
We have more to show you
Give us another chance!
If we don't like 'em...
You pay everyone back double!
All right
His Excellency...The Monkey King!
Fake! Money back!
Monkey, do some somersaults!
Paying back double will clean us out!
All right...
Your generosity will keep us fed for several days
Take it back
Boss, this monk cheats!
He can't pay us back! Throw him out!
You're a disgrace to my circus! Scram!
Boss, we're not circus people
We are Buddhist monks
Our road is long and hard, we are hungry
And I'm sick!
My body aches
It's been days since I last ate
So pitiful? Come...
These two buns...
...are for righteous men
Men who deserve help
Are you worthy?
We're really from the Great Tang Dynasty
We conquer demons
Monkey, show them your skills
Hit me
I can't do that, Brother Monkey
I'm not suicidal
Shall I hit you then?
I'd like that even less, Brother Monkey
Fine, you only live once, I'll hit you
Brother, you're hard as a rock!
It's as if my whole arm is shattered!
Pretty boy, have you no shame?
Watch some more before you complain
And stop poking me
I need to
Hit me...Master wants us to perform
I'm hungry, I have no strength
Again
That's no excuse for shirking
Hit me, stupid!
I've heard there are fake demon-vanquishers around
They've left many people hurt
You must be the ones!
Yes, we're guilty
The problem is that my disciples are too strong
Sure, you just keep on bragging...
One blow is enough
Stop now
That'll do for now
You're so desirable!
Let me stoke your fires a little
No! Get off me!
Monkey, don't just squat there
Do something about it!
I'm so sorry, that's really all from us
No charge for what you've just seen
Great sir
Your performance is more than impressive
Say no more, try this candied fruit
Let us be brothers
Brother, now you've seen what they can do
I wish they could control themselves better
We really do conquer demons
Of course you do
Monkey, come and apologize
Pick up your head-band
Put it on
Wear it properly now
I'm doing it
You talk while chewing a twig? Bad monkey!
I won't if you don't like it
But stop calling me 'Bad monkey'!
I can call you that if I want to
Bad monkey
Great!
Say it just one more time...
I'm scared
It's horrible! Makes me so scared!
Aren't you all afraid?
Even if he throws tantrums
You can't be lenient
Let's all scold him together
1, 2, 3...
Bad monkey!
"My boy, my boy..."
"Why are you so bad?"
"Bullying, cheating..."
"Why make me so sad?"
"Learn to be a good boy"
"Learn to love"
"Care for others"
"Fill your heart with color"
"My good boy..."
"Hurry back to me"
"My embrace..."
"My good boy..."
"Be sincere"
"You're the one I love most"
Master, ours is just a small enterprise
What you see is all we have
If it's not enough for you...
...then all we can is offer our lives
Stop
First, I'm not here to extort anything from you
Second...
Never mind, I won't say it
JOURNEY TO THE WEST: THE DEMONS STRIKE BACK
When did your mother...
...start behaving like this?
A few days ago
I don't know why
Soon after we moved here...
...she began talking nonsense
If I approach her...
...she scratches me like a mad thing
I have no idea why she's like this
I'm completely exhausted
Luckily my two daughters...
...help me take care of my mother
It wears them out
They're your daughters?
God-daughters
How old are they?
They just turned sixteen
They look a little haggard
They've been working too hard
They were radiant before
How horrible!
Grandma, have some congee
You haven't eaten all day
Another fit?
Ma, are you all right?
Ma, Ma, Ma...
It's me...Calm down
Quick! The exorcism mirror!
Coming right up!
Ten thousand gods send down thunderbolts...
...to reveal the hidden demons!
Show yourself!
All demons, be revealed!
Nothing?
But the whole room smells foul
If it's not her body, then...
...maybe she has second sight
She sees the demons in others
That's why she's so scared
Could it be those two?
I've put up with them for too long
All demons, be revealed!
Too bright! I can't see anything!
What? Not them either
Could it be...
A hairy crab!
You bad monkey!
Bad monkey!
Look at that
Master's whip is really strong today
That whip has kept Monkey under control for 500 years
It needs to be strong
You knew those two were shape-shifters
Why didn't you stop them?
You asked me to perform
So I did
And what did you perform?
I asked for a couple of somersaults
And you destroyed a family!
Then you shouldn't have called me "Bad monkey"
You know that makes me go berserk
I didn't mean to call you that
Everyone knows I don't mean it
Such a small thing and you try to kill me?
Such ruthless
Open your mouth!
Wider! You want my life
Now I'm offering you my life
Bite! You're a coward if you don't
Hey, something to see here!
Bite!
Do it
Why did you treat me like that?
Speak! Say something!
Why do you keep doing it?
Cheating me! Provoking me!
Hurting me! Torturing me! Mistreating me!
It seems our days of conquering demons...
...have come to an end
Let's disband
"Disband"?
Does "disband" mean he wants to kill us?
Master!
I understand why Master does these things
But please drink this medicine first
From now on...I'll be obedient
What are you saying? I'm not punishing you
Master, you surely know...
My brothers and I...We are all of one heart
If you punish Brother Monkey... Then my heart aches too
And my heart...
...is really aching
That's so true
When I hit you
My heart really aches
Master, try it if you don't believe us
When I punish you...
I suffer heartache too
If I'd set off to find the sutras on my own...
I'd have got there long ago
Having you with me doesn't help at all
I can subdue one hundred foes...
...single-handed
Do I need to tell you this?
I've mastered Buddha's Palm
Do I really need to tell you this?
So it's not that you're helping me to find the sutras
I'm helping you to make merit and learn Buddhism
Do I make myself crystal clear?
Do you get it?
Yes, we do
That's enough for now
Go to bed, we've got much to do tomorrow
"Sinful monkey!"
"I'll show you my Buddha's Palm!"
Did you miss me?
He's even teasing Brother Monkey
Master's mind has reached such a high level
That's not Brother Monkey he's embracing
It's someone else
Amitabha, Amitabha
Master, you seemed happy last night
We were happy to see you happy
But we won't tell on you
What are you on about?
No water left
Second Brother, fetch some water
Why do I have to do it?
How did you come up...
...up with that idea?
Stop quarreling, I'll go
Alms giver, excuse me...
I was just passing
May I trouble you for water to boil rice?
There's no need for that
You're welcome to eat here
I'm vegetarian
What luck!
We're having vegetarian food
We're devout too, we share the same path
It's natural for us to share our meal
And you can stay after eating
We'll be able to compare notes
He's ill, won't he taste bad?
Never mind, we can heal him first
It would be impolite to refuse
No need to cook come and eat here
What about my congee?
I prepared it this morning
Your congee will be burnt
Go back and watch the fire
Alms giver, your medicine works a treat
I feel better already
These three are my delinquent disciples
Nice to meet you
Don't flirt
Nice to meet you
To hell with that, what's nice about it?
Sandy, what are you saying?
I was cooking congee
What are you up to?
"Nice, nice, nice..."
What do you all think you're doing?
I'm sorry, my disciple is a touch simple-minded
It doesn't matter
May I just ask you...
Are there any demons here?
Master, please don't scare me
Why would there be demons here?
You're going too far
Why ask such a question?
Actually...
We conquer demons
I did wonder...Really?
You've been so hospitable...
But we have nothing to repay it
All I can offer is a one-off exorcism
Really? You're terribly kind...
But, sad to say...
There are no demons here
See my face?
Hit me
Come on, quick!
If you don't, I'll beat you to death
Really?
Why?
I told you to hit me, scum
I'll ask you again
Hit me, you asshole!
Have you lost it again?
I'm not an asshole
You definitely are
But I was calling her an asshole, not you
Damn you!
You assholes take me as your Master?
Clear out of here
Sorry about that
Get out, all of you
She kindly invited us to eat
You bang her table and ask her to hit you
And call her an asshole
Go and face the wall
Contemplate what you've done
What have you ever contributed to society?
Don't come back until you figure it out
Come back!
Master, we haven't figured it out yet
Don't give it any more thought
Come back!
Still contemplating it
She's caught me!
Rake
Up, up!
Quick, up!
You can stop now
Master, time to show your hand
You're so kind
Beauty!
Such long legs...
- What're you doing? - I like them
I'm a spider!
You must be kidding!
I'm just a pig
I wasn't kidding
Your resistance makes me stronger
Don't go, I am talking to you!
What's that noise?
Don't worry, it's Sandy
Sandy, are you all right?
A bit poisoned, a bit dazed
Seems like time for me to step in now
Conquering demons takes sincerity
Lead them to benevolence
No violence necessary
"Without a knife, a butcher can be a Buddha"
Stop!
Monkey...
You are too rude
Only a coolie needs to use such strength
Go away
Let me handle this
Brother Monkey, be more gentle
I've only just got started with her
She has such long legs
A rare species though
Quiet
Let go
All done, Master
What?
You finished her before I had a chance
What were you thinking?
What, don't you know you were in great danger?
She coulda swallowed you whole
You're lucky I strike fast
I took her out with one blow
How many times have I told you?
To conquer a demon, educate it
Didn't you see the smile on her face just now?
Smile?
She smiled at the prospect of eating you
Outrageous!
That smile was so sincere
My smile is even more sincere
Guess: do I love you?
Or will I kill you?
Who the hell are you?
How can I help you?
Did you see that? He's so handsome
You're almost better-looking than me
You know that?
Of course, you can't stand it?
Can you?
Of course not, how about you?
What's Baldy doing up there?
Thinking
About what?
About Miss Duan
I don't care who he's thinking about
I can overlook this baldy's propensity for violence
But he's started going too far
Lying beside me, swaying and fondling...
Asking if I miss him...
Just thinking of it gives me goosebumps
Well, that needs to stop
Why not just kill him?
Forget it
You always dance to Baldy's tune
You can do nothing
I'll pull out his tongue...
...and tie it in a knot!
What kind of tune would he sing then?
He still knows the Buddha's Palm technique
I'm not scared
If I break his arm...
...how can use Buddha's sodding Palm?
Master, how long have you been standing there?
Just now
I came to see how you're doing
Don't worry, I heard nothing
Master...
How come you lost your voice?
I haven't
Out here in the wild...
...we shouldn't disturb others by being loud
Really?
For sure
Have I ever...lied to you?
All right, you all relax, I'll just relieve myself
Buddha, Buddha
My three disciples are unruly
I have failed to teach them well
I know three hundred songs for children
But nothing else
I've been pretending to be capable
How can I go on like this?
Now they are plotting to kill me
And I've lost my singing voice
Be merciful, Buddha
Teach me your holy Buddha's Palm
Your follower will be forever grateful
I beg you, please
Buddha, do your hear me?
Give me a sign please
Even a little fart would do...
Pigsy, how long have you been there?
Not long, I didn't see what you were doing
Don't worry, I didn't hear anything either
I've been good to you
You know what you should do
What should I do?
All I can do is be myself
What I was getting at is...
"Silence is golden"
Master, all I did was break wind
But all your threats and pressures...
...weigh on me heavily
So that's your game
You should watch out
I know where your family is
Understood
Monkey, what are you doing?
You're the one who needs to watch out
I'd like to experience...
...my Master's holy Buddha's Palm
What are you talking about?
You didn't get it?
I want to compare strength with you
You run?
"My boy, my boy"
"Why are you so naughty?"
"Bullying, cheating..."
"Why behave that way?"
"Learn to behave better"
"Closeness, love"
"Be tender in your heart"
Damn Baldy, enough with the singing
Fight me!
"Good child..."
Where can you run to?
All right
If that's what you really want, I'll indulge you
So it's clobbering time
Wait, give me a moment
I was just toying with you, Master
Just working up a sweat
You scared me to death
What on earth are you up to now?
None of your business
You're so handsome, you've gone bald...
Do you mean that?
I'd be a pig if I lied
How did it go?
Did you tear Baldy to shreds?
Was his blood running everywhere?
Wait, have you really killed him?
You tricked me
Pigsy, have you learnt what "Silence is golden" means?
I just did
Now you're poisoned, I have to pull you
Will you please stop dousing me?
I caught a cold, my nose is runny
Caught a cold? Bullshit! You'd better die now
Less trouble for me that way
Monkey...
When do you think Sandy will turn back into a man?
No idea, I have never paid attention to that
Master, you really want to know?
Maybe...
...not
"Bi-Qiu Kingdom"
The Minister is here
Hail, your eminence
Master Tang is an eminent monk indeed
His bearing is graceful
My admiration is heartfelt
It's a pleasure to meet you
May I ask how your eminence knew I was coming?
I am flattered...
Most flattered
Master Tang's reputation precedes him
And your three brilliant companions...
...are also awe-inspiring
I learned that the four of you...
...would pass by here
The king sent me to greet you here
Let's go to the palace
We can chat there
Neat trick
It's just a trifle
Don't play any more tricks
It wasn't me, I didn't do anything
What did I do?
Bloom
Hey presto
Your eminence...
There's something which puzzles me for a while
Are your magic tricks...
...intended to seem fake?
Master, we both know that in this world...
...magic tricks are illusions
Why care whether they seem real or fake?
Let's go
Cultivating oneself is different from playing tricks
The crucial thing...
...is what's in the heart
Master...
You are bottling something up
What's on your mind?
There's someone in your heart, you yearn for her
You can't forget her
I'm afraid you're wrong, there's not
Learning humanity...
...is like having religious faith
Following your heart will keep you young
A person who can't be honest with himself...
...is hypocritical
That's why I cultivate myself...
...according to my heart's desires
So what 'cultivation' means to you is...
Doing what I damn well like
What are they kneeling for?
It's a game, losers have to kneel
The king has lately taken rejuvenation pills
Now he behaves like a child
It's as if he took my counsel about following his heart
The king is easily coaxed
Simply fawn on him and you'll be well rewarded
I'll expect my cut, of course
Let's split it by 50/50, ok?
That's...
I'm just joking, you didn't think I was serious?
Look, our beauties are greeting you
Impressive, I like it
Your Majesty...
Honorable guests are here
I am Tang
I am crossing your great country
My three disciples and I are here to pay our respects
Hug, hug
Splendid
Look, this king is sillier than our Master
No way
No-one is sillier than our Master
Hug, hug
Please respond in kind to the king's high protocol
Too late, he's too stuck-up
Here
I hear that you conquer demons
It's true
Don't believe it, show me some tricks
I think Your Majesty is confused
Conquering demons is not an acrobatic trick
You will do as I order
You will speak...as I order
If you don't obey
You insult my dignity
Now I'll have your head chopped off
And hand it on the door
Great, this king has brilliant ideas
My kind of king
Men
Off with his head!
Don't worry...
Really, Minister?
It's a joke
I see...
It doesn't seem so
Doesn't seem what?
Your Majesty
We can perform a bit for you
Monkey, show His Majesty a few tricks
You ask a nobody to entertain me?
That's a deliberate insult!
Death penalty!
Your Majesty, I must show you my tricks
Don't try to talk me out of it, I'll do it
Just give me a moment and I'll be with you
Get a move on
Master, are you really going to perform?
Do I have any choice?
He can't get through
What should we do?
No big deal, just show them your Buddha's Palm
It's not a parlor trick
How about I take Master's form?
I can perform something for the king
You just want to have your way with the maids
Go now if you have the guts
Stone, paper, scissors
I know what...
Use the talisman of obedience
That again? That's an old idea
New ideas are thin on the ground, boss
It will have to do
Stick it on him...
And he'll do whatever I do
Identical movements
Damn it, chop him up
I'd be doomed if you do striptease again
I'm not going to do this
You don't trust me
I don't
I'm sincerely trying to help
And you really don't trust me?
I don't
If you find that something goes wrong you can always stop me
You won't cheat me?
I look like a cheat?
Have I ever cheated you?
More times than I can remember
You're right
You're an asshole
Good
Stop it
Where is he?
You want to make me lose face again?
Move
Out of the way...
Poor Master
I specialize in striptease
Master isn't as good as I am
Brother Monkey
Where did he go?
Stop
Don't stop
No stopping
If you shout 'Stop' again, I'll have your head
You are joking?
He's not joking
If you shout 'Stop' again, you'll lose your head
Go on then
Great! Any more tricks up your sleeve?
Go to hell
"Go to hell"
Go to hell again!
"Go to hell again!"
He hit me
He hit me!
Hurry! Quick!
You must flee right away if the king cries
Master, I did my best to help you
But after what just happened...
I'm afraid that...
Your reputation cannot be repaired
Attendants
Here's some expenses money
Use it on your travels
Don't show up here again for 8 to 10 years
How can I accept, after all that...?
Don't mention it, I know it's hard for you
Meetings are hard
But partings are harder
You and I may not meet again
Take care
Tang Tang
The Minister fancies you
You have a good chance with her
You always get so many dates, I envy you
You're really charming, so it's understandable
You bad monkey!
How dare you say this to me?
I feared it might go wrong
But I didn't expect to risk my life
Now kneel to me
I'll beat you until you kneel
Kneel
Beat away
Did you ever think how it feels to demean yourself in front of people?
Now you know what crazy dancing feels like
So you know how bad I feel
You always make me...
...kneel like a dog before you
You know how shaming that is?
You're right
I did manipulate you
So that you'd know how indignity feels
I see
Now that you've said all that...
I'll finish you off with one slap
Go ahead!
I'm ready for it
I'd rather die than suffer this torture
All I wanted was to tell you...
"Do unto others as you'd wish them..."
"...to do unto you"
I'm sorry, I'm at fault
Stop, don't try that on me
You're right, we should be considerate for each other
I've punished you by making you dance
By taking away your dignity in public
Now I realize what a loss of dignity feels like
How miserable it is
I've been wrong to call you 'bad Monkey'
I've beaten and scolded you all day long
I've been oblivious to your feelings
The problem here is me
Not you
I'm the one who spreads unhappiness
Now I realize my mistakes
Please forgive me this once
Give me one more chance, forgive me
Master's conscience is awakened at last
Don't you see he's using "Advance by retreating"?
To admit a mistake at the right time...
...can win people's hearts
You see, it worked so well on brother Monkey
Master often seems silly
But he knows how to manage risk
Master...
I guess I overdid it
Please get up
I actually care a lot for you
I just didn't know how to express it
Master, I know in my heart...
...how you feel about me
From now on, though...
Don't ever make me do crazy dancing
But frankly speaking, Monkey...
You're good at it
Don't even think that, Master
Never again
Please stop calling me 'Master'
We're sworn brothers for life
So just call me 'Elder' from now on
Elder...
See how well it works?
They're all but kissing
Impressive, no?
No entry to the palace, on pain of death
Pardon us
Master...
Why are you back?
Minister
I've been thinking
I need to restore my reputation
I can't leave things as they were
Master, please get away while you still can
If you come back, there'll be carnage
Minister, I value my reputation
How can I be a good monk with a bad rep?
How dare you return!
Your Majesty, please calm down
Monk Tang has something to say
Your Majesty
What happened before had nothing to do with me
It was all caused by my errant disciple
So I've brought him to apologize to you
And while we're about it...
We'll conquer a demon or two
Monkey...
Hit me
Are you a pervert?
Brilliant
A game is just the thing to appease the king
Master Monkey...
Let me run through the rules of this game
Master...
Don't you think you're doing a bit too much?
You haven't eaten yet
Can't you do it harder?
Is that it?
Out of the way!
Danger!
Red Boy
Monkey
You show your true face at last
I saw from the start there's something odd about you
According to legend...
You own the long Firecloud Spear
And move on...
The flaming Golden Wheel! Well met!
So you're the Monkey King...
...who has great strengths
Show your senior...
...the best you can do
Playing foul?
You ain't seen nothin' yet
Master, over here
Three-tier Fire!
Take that!
The palace...
It's in ruins
Ruins...
Stupid monkey...
Don't hide!
Come out to face me
My turn!
Help!
What happened?
Was there an earthquake?
Your Majesty...
Wait
Let me do it
What a cute little monster
I've subdued it, keep it as a souvenir
I will chant sutras day and night
Until its evil nature is defeated
I'll do my best
The king...
Your Majesty!
Thank you, your reverences
We have our real king back at last
We've prepared lavish gifts for you
See for yourselves
The palace's 3000 beauties
Choose which you like
All for me?
Too few? You can have the throne too
Calm down, Your Majesty
His Majesty is offering...
Ladies-in-waiting for your journey
So it is
I'm grateful for his generosity, but I...
You think we're the types to accept such a gift?
Women make us seriously ill
Put me in change of them...
And see how badly I treat them all
Come on, the fish is getting very dry
Put that to good use
Your saliva smells bad
Don't be picky
Better than nothing
It's good to have someone for help
- Please pick one or two - Yes
Don't fight with me, I'll handle them one by one
If Your Majesty insists on repaying us...
Maybe I can suggest something?
Could you free these ladies?
Sure, no problem
Anyone who wants to leave can leave
No blame attached, you have my word
Your Majesty, so...
I feel like crying
All those women in my harem are ugly-looking gluttons
They eat really a lot
They eat 7 meals a day, better send them away
You can go, you're free
Are you out of your mind?
Being imperial concubines is just fine
Why would we want to leave?
Damned bald monk, who do you think you are?
If you stir thing up, we'll sort you out!
You think we're vain?
Damn you, we're here for love!
Monk Tang, get out! Protect our love!
See how they love you?
I'll crush your balls
- I'm sorry... - Sparing on effort!
Calm down, you can all stay
I want to die
That one...
You...You...
- Me? - Yes!
The one in black behind you
How come I've never seen you before?
This lady is a newcomer
She's a songstress
What's your name?
Felicity
Since you're a songstress...
Give us a quick song
To send the Masters on their way
Yes, sire
Fatso, am I afraid of you?
"Yesterday, today"
"The past has slipped away"
"Without make-up..."
"...colors fade"
"All through history..."
"...love endures"
"Your love awaits your return"
"Wandering beyond the clouds"
"Love-sickness..."
"...begets sorrow"
"In this world..."
"...fate is immutable"
"Let it go"
"We cannot be together"
"Is this truly our destiny?"
Splendid! Her artistry is magnificent
Master...
What is it?
His Majesty asks if you'd like to have Felicity...
...for your travels?
Out of the question!
I go to the west to find sutras and cultivate myself
She couldn't make such an arduous journey
I have burned incense and prayed to Buddha
I am a devout Buddhist
We must brave the elements with little to eat
A young woman couldn't endure it
I'm not afraid
My family was poor
I've done household chores since I was young
I'm accustomed to hardship
Wonderful!
What touching words
This songstress...
She can sing, dance, cook and wash
What a resource, at home and on travels
Still...
Master, you really don't want her?
I don't
You won't regret it?
No regrets
Master, please take time to reflect
I'll ask you once again
You don't want her?
I don't
You must be kidding! Such a charming girl!
Why don't you want her? You're weird!
Minister...
Please arrange this
I want the girl sent to my chambers ASAP
Your Majesty...
We'll take our leave now
Attendants, see them out
Help them with the fish too
Come with me
When you've suffered pain...
...you know the pain of all sentient beings
When you've insisted...
...you know how to let go
When you've cared for others...
...you know how to move on
That's what spiritual attainment is all about
But me...
I'm just an ordinary man
Your Majesty...
The Master is back again
Master, you have broken your journey
What trouble did you encounter?
I've been pondering
I don't think I should reject...
...Your Majesty's great generosity
Please allow Felicity to join me on my journey
You can do that, right?
I can, but...
But what?
I had my way with Felicity
Tell you what...Choose someone else
Master...
I sympathize, but there's nothing I can do
You mean...But I don't mind
Your Majesty has favored Felicity
That makes me all the more honored
You don't mind?
Definitely not
You don't mind...
But I mind
The fact of the matter is...
Felicity resisted him last night
She refuses to be a concubine
She says she'd rather die than be forced into it
Then...
Yes!
I lied to you
So what?
Yesterday I asked you eight times...
And you refused
Now you come back and change your mind
How reckless!
Don't get worked up
Put down the drum
All the women in the harem...
...look like they've been struck by lightning
But this one is good-looking
You won't grant me this one morsel?
That's right
You bastard!
Now that Master has made up his mind
And since Felicity refuses to be a concubine
Let's move towards a happy ending
Attendants
Fetch Felicity
Thank you, Your Majesty
Master
Drink some water
You first
Thank you
Monkey, what are you doing?
Taking a leak!
In front of a girl? What's got into you?
Go over there!
- Felicity... - Master, come with me
I don't need to go
Yes, you do!
Come
One moment, I'll be right back
My dear...
Who are you?
I'm Second Brother
Isn't my true face...Completely irresistible?
Sometimes...
When I look in the mirror, my beauty stuns me
Second Brother...
Brother Monkey is watching you
So I can't look in the mirror
When I accidentally do...
I would feel dizzy
Extreme!
Mistress, go get a whip
Lash me, correct me...
Insult me, beat me, punish me...
You're laughing at me
You're coughing, Third Brother
Drink some water
What's blocking your nose?
That's more comfortable!
So you get back human form when you sneeze
You should've said, it's hard work pulling you
Master
Try to pee just a little even if you don't want to
Make a puddle to look at your reflection
I'm handsome, does that bother you?
You're not, you don't even have hair
Felicity is quite good-looking
Why did she pass up being a queen...
To follow you instead?
What's on your mind?
She's actually a demon, she plans to eat you
Don't do that!
Why didn't you tell me this earlier?
There are many kinds of demon
Some are easy to spot
Others aren't easy at all
So you have no proof
It's not hard to check
You've let her looks blind you
Get on her case
Do I have to tell you how?
Aren't you a professional demon-hunter?
What are you looking for?
A mirror
I have one
Thank you
What a shining bronze mirror!
Doesn't it work?
It's fine
Have you finished?
I'll help comb your hair
What are you doing?
A demon's blood will vaporize...
...on the mirror
That's impossible!
Nothing happened
Shut it, demon-hunter
- Let's calm down - Where are you from?
I'm from Rivermouth Village
Rivermouth Village
It's on the other side of that hill
I dare you to take me there
I've never known a demon with a family
I'll go!
"Rivermouth Village"
Felicity, it's so long since you visited us
Ma, I'm following a monk west to find sutras
See how nice her family is?
You'd better apologize to them now
Apologize? Dream on!
Dad!
Demon girl, you hired a big supporting cast
No expense spared
I don't know what the misunderstanding is
But please let my mother go
Spare the lives of my family
Don't be rash! Let her go
Ma
Brother Monkey, Master likes this young woman
But he still loves you too
Don't be jealous
Jealous?
Will you shut up?
Ma, Run
How many times must I tell you?
This woman is really a demon
They're in league to do you harm
They're a family, three generations!
And you keep slandering them!
You're the one doing harm
You're the demon
So you believe her rather than me?
Yes
Fine
Then I'll kill her
How dare you smite me as a demon?
All the women that I like
Such as Miss Duan before her
You want to kill them all?
He finally said it
So you haven't forgotten
Of course I remember
I'll always remember
The way you beat her, beat her to death!
I thought you were really treating me as a brother
Brother?
Since I'm stuck with a mad killer like you, day in, day out...
...I have to pretend to get along with you!
If you died ten times, it wouldn't be enough
I wish you'd go to hell and be damned forever
I see
If you're not my friend in this world...
You're my enemy
We've been enemies all along
Get out!
Go away as far as possible, while I'm in a good mood
So you're in a good mood?
Listen, all of you
For all the demon I killed...
...on this journey...
I did it for him
My constant headaches...
The lash-scars all over my body...
That's all his doing
Whatever I owed him...
I've repaid it in full
Whatever he owes me, no need to repay
From now on, our master-disciple bond...
...is at an end!
- Brother Monkey! - Let him go
Dad
Felicity, how's your family?
They're recovering, they'll be fine
Please don't blame yourself
Who's Miss Duan?
Miss Duan was also a demon-hunter
We faced life or death struggles together
I loved her a lot
But I dared not admit it
Until the day I saw...
...the way Monkey beat her
Beat her to death
And then it was too late
I let her down
And if you meet someone else you like...
...will you let her down again?
I never wanted too much from life
Just find the right man...
Get married, have a baby...
Settle down
I've found that man...
It's you
Master, it's a crisis!
Brother Monkey has gone mad
He killed everyone in sight, we couldn't stop him!
Pigsy, Sandy...
See if anyone can be saved
Ma!Dad!
Dad! Ma!
You can smile after killing so many?
You're possessed by the devil
Those I killed were all demons
So I won't waste words
You don't believe anything I say
I'll kill the last one
And have done with it
Don't force me
You'll give your life to protect a demon?
I won't let you hurt any more...
...of the people I love
You're possessed! Out of my way!
That's enough!
Enough?
You want to die, so be my guest
"Child, child, why..."
"Child, child..."
"Why are you so bad?"
I'll sing it for you
Buddha's Palm?
Buddha's Palm? Still pretending!
You can't do it!
Don't believe me, asshole?
No!
Please don't strike your Master
Stop, I beg you
That's very touching
I'll kill you first
Baldy, you're worth nothing
Don't hit him!
I'll admit it, I'm a demon
I'm a demon
My real form is a skeleton
I conjured up the illusion of this village
You need to hear her say it again?
My beloved and I were waylaid by mountain brigands
My love abandoned me and fled
I was horribly abused
The brigands raped me and left me to die
I turned into a heap of bones
But my grievances have never died
In truth, I'm nothing but bones
I'm sorry
Heavens! Master is dead! We can forget those sutras!
Hurray!
Case closed!
Minister, you're so great!
You had provoked Monkey's demonic nature
He's even gobbled up his Master
See how Buddha rages in the western sky
Shut up!
I have a dream
I want all the world's liars
and monsters to show...
...their true colors
Felicity, no need to hide
Come on, show yourself
Your stratagem of sowing discord was smart
I know you have true feelings for the monk
You're following your heart
My very own path to supreme wisdom
So this is the legendary Monkey King?
So cute!
Like a banana?
Fine, we can adopt him as our pet
Why not!
Six hands
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
My turn!
King of demons?
All I did was cough
And you were terrified
I'm your new Master
You'd better obey me
Or you'll be spanked
So you're finally revealing your foxtail
My tail?
No, I keep it well hidden
Monk...
You're the one who stands exposed
All that canoodling with skeleton-demon here...
Worldly desires are back?
Felicity hasn't lost her virtues
I'll make it possible for her to reincarnate
Your stratagem is to sow discord
But we have a counter-stratagem
You thought we were fooled by Felicity
You thought she could sow discord...
...between Monkey and me
But you underestimated Monkey's vision
The skeleton-demon conjured up the village
We knew it at the beginning
And we pretended to be fooled by it, as you hoped
We tricked you into revealing yourself
Minister...
I'll tell you one more thing
I'm actually very wise!
Wise?
Comfort yourself with your illusions
Let's see what you can do to me
Strike!
All right!
Master, grasp my tail
Felicity!
Take care! Stay clear!
I'm the Monkey King!
Demon, you cannot flee!
Bad monkey, he's such a stupid monk
Is it worth dying for him?
Master, she knows you too well
She says you're stupid
Don't listen to her, I'm very wise
See my moves
Ward me off?
You think you can?
Monkey...
Your nemesis is here!
Buddha!
Even Buddha is invited! Giving you real face!
It's not possible
It's an imposter
Yep, looks like he's had a nose and chin job
Monkey...
You've felt Buddha's power
Come closer for the full effect!
Fine, try my Anchoring Pole
No wave-swell can match the East Sea itself!
Master, shelter in my ear-lobe
Two Buddhas!
Monkey, Monkey...
Immortal gold vulture
You have cultivated yourself beside me
Yet you do not understand
No wonder you spread sophistry in the world
Lord Buddha
I live for you
I've been by your side for so many years
But did you ever notice me?
Say no more
Immortal gold vulture, show your true self
Try to stand, Felicity
I will try to exorcise your demonic traits
There's too much demon in me
Even if you save me...
I can't be sure I won't harm humans again
You conquer demons
And I am a demon
Free my soul
She's right
Her acrimony runs too deep, she has to burn
Felicity...
The greatest obstacle in the world is love
She...is always here in your heart
She fills it
If only...
I could...Remain as a trace in your memories...
I'll be content
Don't look at me
Clean up your own mess
I don't want you saying I've killed your girl
Let's go
The truth is...
I really have fallen for you
Do you like me at least a tiny bit?
Sorry...
My heart...
...has no space for anyone else
I'm so silly, aren't I?
I knew that
But I still asked
Felicity...
I'm going to send you on your way
Master, we should talk...
Did you ever have feelings for Felicity?
I'm asking you...
Did you ever have feelings for Felicity?
Of course not!
You're the only one in my heart
Only me?
Brother Monkey...
Your headband was once Miss Duan's
The memory of her still haunts Master
So he sometimes takes you for her
You can see it in his smile, look!
Impossible!
Really?
You don't trust even me?
So did she ever touch your heart?
Of course not, it's a meaningless question
Did you really think I'd say yes?
You women always ask the same question
So you did, you lowlife!
Lowlife!
This can't go on, I'd better get back the headband
Or she'll ask again
What are you doing?
Give back the headband
Are you crazy? You gave it to me
It doesn't suit you, it makes you look awful
You should have said so before, you can have it
Hand it over! Why are you running off?
I said i will give back to you and you don't trust me?
Stop talking, give back to me
I've given it to you
No, you just said you would
Right, I said I would
You said you would, but you haven't done so
Haven't I? Are you sure?
I'm sure! Believe me for once!
I don't
Let's go
Hang on, there's probably more after the credits
No need to wait, there's no post-credits scene
Please be sure to take all your belongings
Exit on the right side, thank you
Hey, blockbusters always have a post-credits scene!
This isn't a blockbuster
So there isn't one
I repeat
It's not a blockbuster
So there isn't one
If this were a blockbuster
There'd be one