1
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:35,725
是人吗

2
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:36,977
这么小

3
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:41,610
你们捅我脚心干嘛

4
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:45,190
唐僧唐僧 这边这边

5
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:45,944
唐僧

6
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,241
这边啊

7
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,361
看你睡了这么久 就叫醒你

8
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,872
现在你醒了就好了

9
00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:54,874
我们有好消息

10
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:57,205
对不起

11
00:00:58,517 --> 00:00:59,370
对不起

12
00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:00,501
对不起

13
00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:04,004
唐僧 我们有个天大的好消息

14
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:06,802
要告诉你 恭喜你

15
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,220
你终于来到

16
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,015
你梦寐以求的目的地了

17
00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:12,057
这里是天竺吗

18
00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,600
没错

19
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,560
天竺

20
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,515
我终于来到目的地了

21
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,808
对不起

22
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,613
师父

23
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,698
你也这么小

24
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,746
师父 你怎么也在天竺

25
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:45,087
玄奘 你果然不负众望

26
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,759
你要的那二十二本经书

27
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:50,384
已经为你准备好 放在那十辆马车上

28
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:51,888
你喜欢就拿去

29
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,966
千万不要客气

30
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,057
不过我今天来的主要目的

31
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,146
是想颁个奖给你

32
00:01:59,245 --> 00:02:00,223
什么奖 师父

33
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,391
终身成就奖

34
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,741
试一下

35
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:17,831
怎么好意思呢

36
00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,494
我好喜欢

37
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,204
你想低调还是气派

38
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,039
可以自己控制

39
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,380
左边有光出来了 你适应得很快

40
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,713
你看 右边也亮了 真不得了

41
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,719
快说两句获奖感言

42
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,174
好 我想想

43
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,394
师父

44
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,721
什么事

45
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,519
好玩吧

46
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,085
和尚 你再挣不到钱

47
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,291
班主要赶你走了

48
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,380
我知道了

49
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:16,932
盲人飞刀 独臂倒立 胸口碎石

50
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:20,387
走过路过 千万不要错过

51
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:30,362
西游路上应急客串

52
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:32,902
猪 鱼 猴

53
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,326
精彩表演

54
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:39,455
优惠期两文钱一位

55
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,327
半价 帮你开张

56
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,874
买一送一

57
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,331
好吧 就这样

58
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,536
谢谢

59
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,913
过来看看吧

60
00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,297
天蓬元帅 猪八戒

61
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:53,469
女人

62
00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,633
你叫什么名字 今年几岁

63
00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,933
神经病

64
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,348
卷帘大将

65
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,645
流沙河大鱼怪 沙悟净

66
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,323
吓到小孩子了 你真缺德

67
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:19,612
退钱

68
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,114
退钱

69
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,825
你还要赔偿我的损失

70
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,373
赔钱

71
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,172
你再给我一次机会

72
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,090
我还有好东西

73
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,132
满意就扯平

74
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:33,967
不满意的话

75
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:36,045
这里所有人都得赔双倍

76
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,555
好

77
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:42,176
美猴王齐天大圣

78
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,268
假的 赔钱

79
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,605
悟空 你翻两个跟斗吧

80
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,532
全场赔双倍我们就挂了

81
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,503
多谢施舍

82
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:11,956
这些都是可以吃的

83
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,045
先捡起来

84
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,839
班主 这个人装神弄鬼

85
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:19,797
看他样子肯定赔不起 赶他走吧

86
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,098
你怎么出来走江湖的 滚

87
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,559
施主 我们不是走江湖的

88
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,022
是出家人

89
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,567
因为一路长途跋涉 又没有吃的

90
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,564
再加上我有病

91
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,313
在身

92
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,991
已经很多天没吃东西了

93
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:41,156
那么可怜 来

94
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,409
这两个包

95
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:45,656
是用来给那些

96
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,742
真正值得帮助的正义之士

97
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,247
你觉得自己配吗

98
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,291
我们真的是来自东土大唐的

99
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,247
驱魔团队啊

100
00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:57,669
悟空 你露两手给大家看看

101
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:14,901
打我

102
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,070
打我

103
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:18,613
不太好吧 大师兄

104
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,196
打你 我不就是自杀

105
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,493
那我打你吧

106
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,863
我更加不建议啊 大师兄

107
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,123
死就死吧 我打你

108
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,037
大师兄你好硬啊

109
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,339
我整条手臂都被你震断了

110
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,838
小子 你们还要不要脸啊

111
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:40,711
请你看下去再说

112
00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,342
也请你不要再捅我

113
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,263
我就捅

114
00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:49,103
打我 师父说表演

115
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,480
好饿啊 没力气

116
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,224
再捅

117
00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,227
你这个混蛋 饿就不用干活吗

118
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,691
打我 混蛋

119
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,404
听说有一伙假装驱魔人的贼

120
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:02,108
坑蒙拐骗 还打伤了很多人

121
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,363
肯定是你吧 老弟

122
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,118
是小弟做的

123
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:08,163
只是我的徒弟 用力过度误伤无辜

124
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,162
臭不要脸的 你吹牛吹大点

125
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,176
露一手就够了

126
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,761
谢幕吧

127
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,014
可以收队了

128
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,984
真的好性感啊

129
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,652
我来帮你去去火

130
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,697
救命啊

131
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,734
悟空 你还趴着干吗

132
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,239
快把它搞定

133
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,814
不好意思 我们真的已经收队了

134
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,521
刚才那几下是送的

135
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:22,571
兄台

136
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:26,025
你一举手一投足都光芒四射

137
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,907
什么话也不说了 你拿着这串葫芦

138
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,362
咱们以后就是兄弟了

139
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,958
你误会了 他们力气有多大你都看见了

140
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,910
就是经常控制不了

141
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,547
其实我们真的是帮人驱魔的

142
00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:40,418
当然 当然

143
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,005
悟空 收拾好就过来道歉

144
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,640
把箍捡起来

145
00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:58,857
戴好

146
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,273
戴正

147
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,612
在戴了

148
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,324
咬着树枝说话很酷吗 臭猴子

149
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,446
你不喜欢就不咬吧

150
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,626
不要叫我臭猴子行不行

151
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,454
我叫又怎样 臭猴子

152
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,209
臭猴子

153
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:22,585
臭猴子

154
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:23,962
你牛

155
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:27,010
你有种就再说一次

156
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,470
我好害怕啊

157
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,639
真的好恐怖 想吓死人吗

158
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,261
你们怕不怕啊

159
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,234
骂他两句就发脾气

160
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,981
这种人惯不得

161
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,858
我们一起大声骂他

162
00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,940
一 二 三

163
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,742
臭猴子

164
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:56,998
（孩子 孩子）

165
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,294
（为何你这么坏）

166
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,579
（欺负 欺骗）

167
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:06,008
（为何你做出来）

168
00:10:06,148 --> 00:10:08,218
（学会做好小孩）

169
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,671
（相亲相爱）

170
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,383
（关怀就在心中）

171
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,343
（充满色彩）

172
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,680
（乖乖）

173
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,275
（你快回来）

174
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,527
（我怀抱）

175
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,695
（乖乖）

176
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,869
（要真心悔改）

177
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:38,290
（原来人性都是善良像小）

178
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:52,129
老板 我们做小生意的

179
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,886
连内裤都翻出来也就那么多

180
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:57,350
如果你还嫌不够的话

181
00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,770
我们全家就只能死在你面前

182
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,142
打住

183
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:05,104
第一我不是来勒索的

184
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:06,606
第二

185
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,071
我也没话可说了

186
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:12,343
《西游伏妖篇》

187
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,731
令寿堂什么时候开始

188
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:26,932
变成这样的

189
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,646
都好几天了

190
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,148
不知道为什么

191
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,979
自从我们搬进来之后

192
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,438
她就开始胡言乱语

193
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,158
一靠近

194
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:41,038
就发疯地抓我 连我也认不出来

195
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,828
我也不知道她为什么会变成这样

196
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,125
我都已经心力交瘁了

197
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,370
还好有我两个女儿

198
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,497
帮我照顾娘亲

199
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,543
真是辛苦她们了

200
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,845
她们是你女儿

201
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,262
干女儿

202
00:12:58,737 --> 00:12:59,715
今年几岁啊

203
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:00,845
刚满十六岁

204
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,552
看上去有些憔悴

205
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,141
最近太忙才变成这样

206
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,723
她们本来是很标致的

207
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,308
这么可怕

208
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:12,190
婆婆 你先吃口粥吧

209
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,113
你一整天没吃饭了

210
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:16,983
又来了

211
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:20,990
娘亲 你怎么了

212
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,197
娘亲 娘亲

213
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,076
娘亲 是我 你冷静点

214
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,540
照妖镜 快点

215
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:34,375
来了

216
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,425
万神朝礼使雷霆

217
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,550
妖魔鬼怪无遁形

218
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,055
现形

219
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,638
妖魔鬼怪无遁形

220
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,563
难道没有妖怪

221
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:59,821
可是我闻到整个房子都是尸臭味

222
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,444
一定有妖怪 如果不是她

223
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,159
那可能是她有阴阳眼

224
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,832
她看到别人是妖怪

225
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:09,743
就吓成这个鬼样

226
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,829
难道是 她两个女儿

227
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,252
她们俩我忍了好久

228
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,383
妖魔鬼怪无所遁形

229
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:26,552
你照得我们眼睛都睁不开了

230
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,394
也不是她们

231
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,891
难道

232
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,319
大闸蟹

233
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,963
你这只臭猴子

234
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,296
臭猴子

235
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:09,394
臭猴子

236
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,058
你看

237
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,523
师父的藤条今天真的很厉害

238
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,985
这藤条曾经困了大师兄五百年

239
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,691
很厉害的

240
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,457
你明知他们俩是变态的

241
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,380
你为什么不喝止他们

242
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,087
你叫我表演

243
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,262
我就表演了

244
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,680
表什么演

245
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:46,965
我让你这么演吗

246
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,676
你又搞得人家破人亡

247
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,219
那你就不要叫我臭猴子

248
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,773
你明知我一听见臭猴子就发火

249
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,605
师父叫你臭猴子是无心之失

250
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,106
谁都知道我是无心的

251
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,904
这点小事你就想要我的命

252
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:01,696
太绝情了吧

253
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,191
要我的命吗 张大嘴巴

254
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:08,783
再张大点 你不是想要我的命吗

255
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,414
我现在就把命给你

256
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,792
咬下来 不咬就是混蛋

257
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:21,124
来 有戏看

258
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:22,588
咬啊

259
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:23,760
来啊

260
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:29,591
你为什么要这样对我

261
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,095
说啊 为什么不说话

262
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,228
你为什么不断地

263
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,602
欺骗我 刺激我

264
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:40,277
伤害我 折磨我 虐待我

265
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,773
看来我们这个驱魔团队

266
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,902
不该留在世上了

267
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,497
不如解散吧

268
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,124
解散

269
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,629
解散的意思是不是要咔嚓我们

270
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:00,706
师父

271
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:06,257
徒弟明白师父的一片苦心

272
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,884
你还是先喝药吧 身子要紧

273
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,342
徒弟以后再也不敢了

274
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:16,555
你说什么 又不是罚你

275
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,813
师父 你该知道

276
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:24,317
我们师兄弟们是心连心的

277
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,195
你打在大师兄身上就痛在我心

278
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,070
现在我的心

279
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,073
真是痛得不得了

280
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,457
真的是心连心

281
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,250
我打你 我的心

282
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,326
真的痛得不得了

283
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,912
师父 不信你试一试

284
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,340
师父打你们

285
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,503
心何尝不是痛得不得了

286
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,221
如果我一个人去取经

287
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,719
早就到了

288
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,933
根本都不用你们

289
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:56,478
不是说笑 师父一个打一百几十个

290
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,554
是很平常的

291
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,638
难道要告诉你吗

292
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:02,146
师父的如来神掌多厉害

293
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,727
难道又要大声告诉你

294
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,698
所以现在不是你们帮师父去取经

295
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,692
而是师父帮你们几个孙子去积善修佛

296
00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,869
我今天说得那么清楚

297
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,320
你们明白了吧

298
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,947
明白明白

299
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,378
不早了 不早了

300
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:24,877
明天还要赶路 睡吧睡吧

301
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,389
孽猴

302
00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:40,438
看我如来神掌

303
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:19,970
有没有想我

304
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:24,307
师父现在连大师兄都不放过

305
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:25,767
境界比我高好几级

306
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,195
师父抱的不是大师兄

307
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,276
是另外一个人

308
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:45,628
阿弥陀佛 阿弥陀佛

309
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,797
师父昨晚好开心

310
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:50,549
我们也替你开心

311
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,919
我们不会说出去的

312
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,548
你一大早的说什么

313
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:56,927
水喝光了

314
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,679
二师兄 快去打水

315
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,220
你为何觉得水喝光了就要我去打呢

316
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:02,304
你这个构思是

317
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:03,513
如何产生的呢

318
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,599
别吵了 我去吧

319
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,493
施主 不好意思

320
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:21,493
贫僧刚好路过

321
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,575
想要点水 做个饭

322
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,915
何必这么麻烦

323
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,039
进来吃个饭就好了

324
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,840
但我是吃斋的

325
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,675
那么巧

326
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,675
我们今天正好吃斋

327
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,718
大家都是修道之人

328
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,640
一起吃个便饭有什么关系

329
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,348
不如这样 吃完后留下来

330
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,438
我们互相交流一下佛学

331
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:49,643
病成这样 还能吃吗

332
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,946
可以的 治好了再吃

333
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,069
那我就恭敬不如从命了

334
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,276
不用煮了 过来吃饭吧

335
00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:00,119
我煮好的粥

336
00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:01,992
现在怎么办

337
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,370
你的粥快糊了

338
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,202
快点去看火吧

339
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,778
施主 这药果然有效

340
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,901
贫僧一喝就好了

341
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,362
他们是我的三个劣徒

342
00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,469
你好

343
00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:04,183
你好吗

344
00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:06,102
你好

345
00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:08,688
你好你好

346
00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,188
要这么帅吗

347
00:22:15,293 --> 00:22:17,363
你好

348
00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:19,566
好什么好 有这么好吗

349
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:21,860
悟净 你做什么

350
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:23,657
我的粥都煮好了

351
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,284
你们是什么意思

352
00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:26,489
还好好好好好

353
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:28,325
我完全不明白

354
00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:30,998
不好意思 我这个徒弟智力有点问题

355
00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:32,416
不要紧

356
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:33,997
请问施主

357
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:36,082
你们这里有没有妖怪

358
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:38,502
大师 你不要吓我

359
00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:39,927
我们这里怎么会有妖怪呢

360
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:41,717
你也太夸张了吧

361
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,049
大师问这个做什么

362
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:47,635
是这样的

363
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:49,687
我们是驱魔人

364
00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:52,515
真的吗 为什么

365
00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:54,351
承蒙施主盛情款待

366
00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:55,856
贫僧无以为报

367
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:58,188
特送免费驱魔服务一次

368
00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:01,650
真的吗 为什么 你好厉害

369
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:03,868
不过可惜了

370
00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:05,866
我们这里没有妖怪

371
00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:10,120
我们不要拐弯抹角了

372
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:11,417
打我

373
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:14,412
快点

374
00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:17,170
不是我打死你 就是你打死我

375
00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:19,334
真的吗

376
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,964
为什么

377
00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:28,552
我叫你打我 混蛋

378
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,561
你听不听得到

379
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:34,349
快点打我 你这个混蛋

380
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,191
你又做什么

381
00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,692
我不是混蛋

382
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,941
你当然是混蛋

383
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:45,026
不过我刚才是说她 混蛋

384
00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:46,532
顶你个肺

385
00:23:46,843 --> 00:23:48,447
你们两个混蛋还当我是师父吗

386
00:23:48,553 --> 00:23:49,247
给我滚出去

387
00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:51,415
出去出去出去

388
00:23:52,014 --> 00:23:52,742
失礼失礼

389
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:55,460
滚出去

390
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,334
人家盛情款待我们

391
00:23:57,895 --> 00:24:00,750
你们又拍桌子 又叫人家打你

392
00:24:00,857 --> 00:24:02,051
还骂人家混蛋

393
00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,879
全部给我面壁思过

394
00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:04,758
反省一下

395
00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:07,466
自己一生中对社会有什么贡献

396
00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:10,348
没想明白就不得有任何动作

397
00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:22,655
你们回来

398
00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:24,531
师父 我们还没想明白

399
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:25,858
还有什么可想

400
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:26,985
回来

401
00:24:27,508 --> 00:24:29,738
不行 我还没反省呢

402
00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:31,493
反什么反 出人命了

403
00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:05,315
耙

404
00:25:09,717 --> 00:25:10,695
起

405
00:25:10,801 --> 00:25:11,779
起

406
00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:13,748
起

407
00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:20,671
可以停了 可以停了

408
00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:49,196
师父 到你出手了

409
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,119
对我那么好

410
00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:13,098
美女

411
00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:15,593
有前有后 腿又长

412
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,099
你干嘛 好漂亮

413
00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:25,315
我是蜘蛛

414
00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:27,318
你不是吧

415
00:26:29,005 --> 00:26:30,199
我也是只猪

416
00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:31,696
没有问题

417
00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:41,126
你越反抗 我越强壮

418
00:26:46,355 --> 00:26:48,300
别走 我叫你啊

419
00:27:57,426 --> 00:27:58,654
什么声音

420
00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:00,664
没事 是三师弟

421
00:28:01,305 --> 00:28:03,284
悟净 你没事吧

422
00:28:04,642 --> 00:28:06,872
我中了毒 有点晕

423
00:28:12,566 --> 00:28:15,717
看来师父是没办法不出手了

424
00:28:15,820 --> 00:28:18,425
降魔伏妖靠的是真诚

425
00:28:18,531 --> 00:28:20,135
渡妖向善

426
00:28:20,241 --> 00:28:22,220
不一定要打打杀杀的

427
00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:29,940
放下屠刀 立地成佛

428
00:29:04,702 --> 00:29:06,101
且慢

429
00:29:06,704 --> 00:29:08,023
悟空

430
00:29:08,497 --> 00:29:09,850
你不要那么粗鲁

431
00:29:09,957 --> 00:29:11,436
力气那么大 不如去挑泥吧

432
00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:12,270
走开

433
00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:13,776
等我来

434
00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:22,739
师兄 你手轻一点

435
00:29:22,887 --> 00:29:24,582
这位姑娘跟我较量过

436
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,705
她有前有后 脚又长

437
00:29:26,807 --> 00:29:27,876
真是可遇不可求

438
00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:28,578
闭嘴

439
00:29:31,812 --> 00:29:33,256
放

440
00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:03,697
师父 搞定了

441
00:30:05,888 --> 00:30:07,116
你说什么

442
00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:09,660
我都没表演 你就买单了

443
00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:11,041
你居心何在啊

444
00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:14,128
这是什么话 你知道刚才有多危险吗

445
00:30:14,438 --> 00:30:16,542
它差一点把你吞下去

446
00:30:16,649 --> 00:30:18,219
幸好你徒弟我的手够快

447
00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:19,261
一拳就把它打爆了

448
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,464
我不是跟你说过很多次了

449
00:30:21,570 --> 00:30:23,174
降魔伏妖是要靠感化

450
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,350
刚才你没看到人家是带着微笑的吗

451
00:30:26,367 --> 00:30:27,641
微笑

452
00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:29,347
它带着微笑是要吃你啊 师父

453
00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:30,890
你太离谱了

454
00:30:30,996 --> 00:30:33,226
人家笑得多真诚

455
00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:36,941
我笑得更真诚

456
00:30:37,044 --> 00:30:38,272
你猜我是爱你呢

457
00:30:38,379 --> 00:30:39,949
还是要杀你呢

458
00:30:47,513 --> 00:30:48,411
你找哪位

459
00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:50,118
我有什么可以帮你吗

460
00:31:05,322 --> 00:31:07,051
你快看看他有多帅

461
00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:09,645
你现在差点就比我帅了

462
00:31:09,827 --> 00:31:11,397
你自己能知道

463
00:31:12,246 --> 00:31:13,941
我知道 你不爽嘛

464
00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:14,729
是不是啊

465
00:31:14,832 --> 00:31:16,811
我当然不爽 你爽吗

466
00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:19,738
别吵 你看死秃驴在那边搞什么

467
00:31:19,837 --> 00:31:20,940
他在想事情

468
00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:22,070
想什么

469
00:31:22,172 --> 00:31:23,525
段小姐

470
00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:34,037
我管他想谁 关我屁事

471
00:31:35,185 --> 00:31:37,961
死秃驴动不动喊打喊杀我都算了

472
00:31:38,063 --> 00:31:39,633
最近还踩了我的底线

473
00:31:39,773 --> 00:31:42,799
晚上在我背后扫来扫去

474
00:31:42,902 --> 00:31:45,473
还说想我 又说不要离开我

475
00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:47,926
我那么嚣张 都觉得很尴尬

476
00:31:48,032 --> 00:31:49,806
听你这么说 这不是办法

477
00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:51,388
不如杀了他吧

478
00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:54,227
算了吧

479
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,152
死秃驴一唱歌你就只能跳舞

480
00:31:58,626 --> 00:31:59,729
拿他没办法

481
00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:01,359
那我把他的舌头拉出来

482
00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:02,360
打个结

483
00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:04,658
再塞回去 看他怎么唱

484
00:32:05,299 --> 00:32:08,075
他还有一招如来神掌

485
00:32:08,385 --> 00:32:09,363
我才不怕呢

486
00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:11,449
把他的手打断 断成这样

487
00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,284
我看他还如什么来神什么掌

488
00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:22,384
师父 你站在这里多久了

489
00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:25,087
刚刚而已

490
00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:26,673
我来看看你们搞什么

491
00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:28,633
放心 我什么都没听见

492
00:32:31,075 --> 00:32:32,178
师父

493
00:32:32,785 --> 00:32:34,059
你失声了吗

494
00:32:34,161 --> 00:32:35,935
没有这样的事

495
00:32:36,038 --> 00:32:36,982
荒山野岭

496
00:32:37,748 --> 00:32:40,854
那么大声说话 吵到别人就不好了

497
00:32:41,669 --> 00:32:42,488
原来是这样

498
00:32:42,586 --> 00:32:43,735
当然

499
00:32:43,837 --> 00:32:46,658
师父何时有骗过你们

500
00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:50,447
你们继续 师父先去方便一下

501
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:09,764
佛祖啊佛祖

502
00:33:09,863 --> 00:33:11,967
我这三个徒弟顽劣成性

503
00:33:12,074 --> 00:33:13,678
弟子玄奘管教无方

504
00:33:14,076 --> 00:33:15,725
除了儿歌三百首之外

505
00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:16,977
就什么都不会

506
00:33:17,079 --> 00:33:19,900
一路以来虚张声势 装模作样

507
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,315
真是撑得好辛苦

508
00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:24,568
现在徒弟们已经对我起了杀心

509
00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:26,900
而我又失声唱不了歌

510
00:33:27,089 --> 00:33:28,943
祈求佛祖你大发慈悲

511
00:33:29,133 --> 00:33:32,159
赐我那一招如来神掌防身

512
00:33:32,261 --> 00:33:34,786
弟子必定感激不尽

513
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,626
我求求你 求求你

514
00:33:44,231 --> 00:33:46,381
佛祖 你听不听得到啊

515
00:33:46,817 --> 00:33:49,342
给我丁点儿提示好吗

516
00:33:49,737 --> 00:33:51,967
随便放个屁也好

517
00:34:00,789 --> 00:34:03,986
八戒 你站在这里多久了

518
00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:06,780
我刚来到这里 你不叫我都没看见你

519
00:34:06,879 --> 00:34:08,608
放心 我什么都没听到

520
00:34:12,009 --> 00:34:13,613
师父对你那么好

521
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,789
你知道该怎么做吧

522
00:34:16,972 --> 00:34:18,416
什么叫该怎么做

523
00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:20,369
我就做我自己

524
00:34:20,851 --> 00:34:22,705
师父的意思是

525
00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:25,791
祸从口出 沉默是金

526
00:34:26,148 --> 00:34:28,878
师父 我放了个屁而已

527
00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:30,804
你又恐吓又勒索的

528
00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:33,428
徒弟压力真的好大啊

529
00:34:34,615 --> 00:34:36,389
玩这套

530
00:34:36,909 --> 00:34:38,558
那你自己看着办吧

531
00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:40,059
我知道你住在哪里的

532
00:34:40,162 --> 00:34:41,265
当然当然

533
00:34:52,716 --> 00:34:54,115
悟空 你在干嘛

534
00:34:57,971 --> 00:34:59,825
你自己看着办啦

535
00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:01,626
我想领教一下

536
00:35:01,725 --> 00:35:03,920
师父的如来神掌

537
00:35:04,478 --> 00:35:06,628
你做什么 你说什么

538
00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:08,755
听不见吗

539
00:35:09,233 --> 00:35:12,464
我说 我想跟师父你切磋武功

540
00:35:17,366 --> 00:35:18,810
跑

541
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:36,661
（孩子 孩子）

542
00:35:36,927 --> 00:35:40,283
（为何你这么坏）

543
00:35:40,556 --> 00:35:41,955
（欺负 欺骗）

544
00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:44,082
（为何你做出来）

545
00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,214
（学会做好小孩）

546
00:35:47,396 --> 00:35:49,091
（相亲相爱）

547
00:35:50,107 --> 00:35:51,176
（关怀就在心中）

548
00:35:51,275 --> 00:35:53,505
死秃驴 有种你别唱

549
00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:55,089
跟我单挑

550
00:35:55,946 --> 00:35:58,426
（乖乖）

551
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,622
师父 看你还能跑到哪

552
00:36:24,975 --> 00:36:27,330
好 既然你

553
00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:30,504
真的要 为师就成全你

554
00:36:31,565 --> 00:36:33,795
那我来了 你站稳了

555
00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:35,512
等等 我先补个妆

556
00:36:55,047 --> 00:36:56,867
我就是跟师父你玩一下

557
00:36:56,965 --> 00:37:00,037
做做运动出身汗 舒服

558
00:37:04,223 --> 00:37:05,451
吓死我了

559
00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:25,763
你又想怎样啊

560
00:37:25,953 --> 00:37:27,147
我做了什么

561
00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:29,476
你现在真的帅得不得了

562
00:37:29,581 --> 00:37:30,650
真的吗

563
00:37:31,917 --> 00:37:33,441
骗你是孙子

564
00:37:38,465 --> 00:37:39,284
怎么样

565
00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:41,203
死秃驴是不是给你打得七窍流血

566
00:37:41,301 --> 00:37:43,155
断手断脚抽筋扒皮了

567
00:37:45,681 --> 00:37:48,081
不是吧 你真的杀了他

568
00:37:49,268 --> 00:37:50,997
你耍我

569
00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:14,316
八戒 你现在知道什么是祸从口出了吗

570
00:38:14,418 --> 00:38:16,568
知道了

571
00:38:26,430 --> 00:38:29,251
中毒你就牛掰了 我还得拉你

572
00:38:44,156 --> 00:38:45,680
你喷完了没有

573
00:38:45,866 --> 00:38:48,517
我着凉了 流鼻涕啊

574
00:38:51,788 --> 00:38:54,860
你着什么凉 你干脆死了就一了百了

575
00:38:55,125 --> 00:38:56,194
不要害人了

576
00:38:58,128 --> 00:38:58,981
悟空

577
00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:02,410
你说沙僧什么时候会变回人形呢

578
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,496
不知道 我完全没有在意

579
00:39:06,595 --> 00:39:07,664
师父 你很想知道吗

580
00:39:07,763 --> 00:39:08,536
我

581
00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:09,866
不想

582
00:40:01,608 --> 00:40:04,008
九宫真人到

583
00:40:05,112 --> 00:40:07,512
国师好

584
00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:25,530
三藏法师不愧是大唐高僧

585
00:40:25,632 --> 00:40:27,236
风采超然

586
00:40:28,218 --> 00:40:31,995
九宫真人心悦诚服

587
00:40:46,862 --> 00:40:47,886
幸会幸会

588
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,180
请问国师怎么知道我的来历的

589
00:40:50,282 --> 00:40:52,227
贫僧实在是受宠若

590
00:40:53,410 --> 00:40:55,310
若惊 受宠若惊

591
00:40:55,412 --> 00:40:57,687
久闻三藏法师盛名

592
00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,064
还有另外三位高徒也是

593
00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:02,195
正气凛然

594
00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:03,989
得知你们师徒四人

595
00:41:04,296 --> 00:41:05,866
途经此地

596
00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:09,240
国王特派本宫在此等候多时

597
00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:11,863
不如我们一起回宫

598
00:41:15,432 --> 00:41:17,036
聊聊天吧

599
00:41:22,314 --> 00:41:23,758
好戏法

600
00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:28,005
见笑了 请

601
00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:34,185
不要乱搞

602
00:41:34,284 --> 00:41:36,809
没有啊 什么都没搞

603
00:41:36,912 --> 00:41:38,106
真是的

604
00:41:45,754 --> 00:41:47,153
花开

605
00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:48,574
变

606
00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:52,613
真人

607
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,994
有个问题困扰了我好一阵子

608
00:41:55,805 --> 00:41:57,033
你的法术

609
00:41:57,307 --> 00:41:59,207
是故意做得那么假吗

610
00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:03,378
法师 你我乃同道中人

611
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,755
都知这世间法术怎会有真

612
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:09,759
所以真真假假 又何必在意

613
00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:11,180
请吧

614
00:42:16,785 --> 00:42:19,310
修法不同于变戏法

615
00:42:19,412 --> 00:42:20,891
最重要的

616
00:42:21,289 --> 00:42:22,358
是内心

617
00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:23,814
法师

618
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:27,530
你有点放不开

619
00:42:28,213 --> 00:42:29,908
是不是有心事呢

620
00:42:30,590 --> 00:42:34,697
法师的心里 有一个人朝思暮想

621
00:42:34,803 --> 00:42:37,124
念念不忘

622
00:42:38,557 --> 00:42:40,286
没 没 没这样的事

623
00:42:40,392 --> 00:42:41,541
做人呢

624
00:42:41,643 --> 00:42:43,167
跟修法一样

625
00:42:43,270 --> 00:42:48,424
讲究的是随心随性 才可以青春常驻

626
00:42:49,276 --> 00:42:52,427
一个人若是不忠于自己的内心

627
00:42:52,529 --> 00:42:54,554
那就是伪善

628
00:42:54,656 --> 00:42:57,932
所以本宫修的随心随性大法

629
00:42:58,159 --> 00:42:59,979
就是这个意思

630
00:43:01,705 --> 00:43:04,811
随心随性大法就是

631
00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:07,730
就是想干嘛就干嘛

632
00:43:19,723 --> 00:43:21,202
他们跪在这里干嘛

633
00:43:21,308 --> 00:43:24,664
玩游戏 输了要罚跪

634
00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:27,590
国王最近吃了返老还童丹

635
00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:29,293
心智就变成了小孩子

636
00:43:29,983 --> 00:43:33,384
正符合我要宣扬的随心随性大法

637
00:43:34,863 --> 00:43:37,559
这个国王很好哄的

638
00:43:37,741 --> 00:43:40,096
你拍他马屁 就重重有赏

639
00:43:41,578 --> 00:43:44,558
到时不要忘记分我一份

640
00:43:44,664 --> 00:43:46,985
一人一半你没有问题吧

641
00:43:48,710 --> 00:43:49,313
这

642
00:43:49,419 --> 00:43:51,694
我开玩笑的 你不会当真吧

643
00:43:54,215 --> 00:43:56,285
美女和你们打招呼

644
00:43:57,469 --> 00:44:00,791
好玩 我欣赏

645
00:44:07,771 --> 00:44:08,749
皇上

646
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:10,424
贵宾到了

647
00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:11,501
贫僧三藏

648
00:44:11,608 --> 00:44:12,586
途经贵国

649
00:44:12,692 --> 00:44:15,047
特带三个劣徒来拜见国王

650
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,550
抱抱

651
00:44:22,369 --> 00:44:23,518
好

652
00:44:25,413 --> 00:44:27,142
这个国王好像比师父还傻

653
00:44:27,248 --> 00:44:28,351
你乱说

654
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:31,188
没人会傻得过师父 神经病

655
00:44:36,216 --> 00:44:37,660
抱抱

656
00:44:37,884 --> 00:44:41,035
国王用终极大礼迎接你 回礼吧

657
00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:45,369
来不及了 摆架子

658
00:44:46,768 --> 00:44:48,167
这边

659
00:44:55,652 --> 00:44:57,176
听说你是驱魔人

660
00:44:57,278 --> 00:44:59,132
没错 在下正是

661
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,844
我不信 耍两下露两手

662
00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:05,437
我想皇上可能搞错了

663
00:45:05,537 --> 00:45:07,641
驱魔不是耍杂技

664
00:45:07,831 --> 00:45:10,982
我叫你做什么 就做什么

665
00:45:11,084 --> 00:45:13,109
我叫你说什么就说什么

666
00:45:13,211 --> 00:45:14,485
你不照我说的做

667
00:45:14,587 --> 00:45:16,441
就是不给面子

668
00:45:16,715 --> 00:45:18,114
我现在就砍你的头下来

669
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:19,695
挂在大门口

670
00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:22,705
这个国王有些想法

671
00:45:22,804 --> 00:45:23,828
我支持他

672
00:45:23,930 --> 00:45:24,533
来人

673
00:45:25,014 --> 00:45:25,617
砍他

674
00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:28,999
没事没事

675
00:45:31,271 --> 00:45:32,420
是吗 真的没事吗

676
00:45:32,522 --> 00:45:33,671
开玩笑的

677
00:45:33,773 --> 00:45:35,252
原来是这样

678
00:45:35,358 --> 00:45:37,258
不太像开玩笑

679
00:45:37,444 --> 00:45:38,547
不像吗

680
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:42,012
皇上皇上

681
00:45:42,115 --> 00:45:44,185
我想起来了 没理由不耍两下的

682
00:45:44,492 --> 00:45:47,347
悟空快露两手 给皇上欣赏一下

683
00:45:48,371 --> 00:45:50,771
找个随从来应酬我

684
00:45:50,874 --> 00:45:52,569
就是更瞧不起我

685
00:45:52,667 --> 00:45:53,770
砍死他

686
00:45:54,002 --> 00:45:56,106
皇上 这两下我耍定了

687
00:45:56,212 --> 00:45:58,032
不要劝我 我一定要

688
00:45:58,339 --> 00:46:00,990
我随便补补妆马上就来

689
00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:03,951
那快点吧

690
00:46:04,179 --> 00:46:06,784
法师 你真的要耍两下吗

691
00:46:07,182 --> 00:46:09,377
我可以不耍吗

692
00:46:17,984 --> 00:46:19,258
卡住了

693
00:46:20,737 --> 00:46:21,465
现在怎么办

694
00:46:21,571 --> 00:46:24,472
没什么大不了 就出如来神掌

695
00:46:24,574 --> 00:46:26,644
你以为如来神掌随便出的吗

696
00:46:27,410 --> 00:46:28,604
不如我变成师父的样子

697
00:46:28,703 --> 00:46:30,147
出去表演给国王看不就行了

698
00:46:30,580 --> 00:46:33,481
你就吹吧 你想出去强奸宫女而已

699
00:46:33,583 --> 00:46:34,982
有种你就去吧

700
00:46:38,755 --> 00:46:40,029
剪刀 石头 布

701
00:46:40,131 --> 00:46:41,359
剪刀 石头 布

702
00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:44,700
我有办法了

703
00:46:44,886 --> 00:46:45,739
听话符

704
00:46:46,554 --> 00:46:48,533
又来 老桥段了

705
00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:50,668
哪有这么多新的 老板

706
00:46:50,767 --> 00:46:52,746
混口饭而已 将就一下吧

707
00:46:52,852 --> 00:46:54,126
我一贴上去

708
00:46:54,229 --> 00:46:55,924
我做什么他就做什么

709
00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:58,217
而且动作和我的一模一样

710
00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:45,382
仆街 砍死他

711
00:47:47,156 --> 00:47:49,056
不行 你脱光衣服到处晃我就完蛋了

712
00:47:49,158 --> 00:47:50,182
我不会中计的

713
00:47:50,285 --> 00:47:51,013
你不信我啊

714
00:47:52,036 --> 00:47:52,639
不信

715
00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:57,023
枉费我真心真意想要帮你

716
00:47:58,126 --> 00:47:59,400
你是不是还不信我

717
00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:02,778
不信

718
00:48:03,131 --> 00:48:05,656
如果中间有不妥当 你可以喊停

719
00:48:06,759 --> 00:48:07,703
你不会骗我

720
00:48:08,261 --> 00:48:09,785
我像吗

721
00:48:11,055 --> 00:48:12,249
我什么时候骗过你

722
00:48:12,348 --> 00:48:13,747
你从来没有不骗我

723
00:48:13,850 --> 00:48:15,044
对啊 你知道就好

724
00:48:15,768 --> 00:48:16,837
仆街啦你

725
00:48:31,951 --> 00:48:32,849
好

726
00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:46,363
停

727
00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:53,162
在哪里

728
00:48:53,598 --> 00:48:55,873
还不表演是不是瞧不起我

729
00:48:55,975 --> 00:48:56,669
继续吧

730
00:49:04,484 --> 00:49:05,633
走开

731
00:49:15,620 --> 00:49:16,393
真可怜

732
00:49:16,496 --> 00:49:17,895
跳脱衣舞是我强项

733
00:49:17,997 --> 00:49:19,942
师父跳得没我好

734
00:49:22,752 --> 00:49:23,855
人呢

735
00:49:24,379 --> 00:49:25,482
去了哪里

736
00:49:30,218 --> 00:49:31,037
停

737
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:32,822
不要停

738
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:35,366
你喊什么停

739
00:49:35,473 --> 00:49:37,077
你再喊停 我就把你的头砍下来

740
00:49:37,183 --> 00:49:38,627
开玩笑的

741
00:49:40,269 --> 00:49:41,622
原来不是开玩笑的

742
00:49:41,729 --> 00:49:44,050
再喊停 就肯定砍你的头下来

743
00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:45,801
继续吧

744
00:49:58,621 --> 00:50:01,272
厉害啊 还有更骄傲的东西拿出来吗

745
00:50:05,670 --> 00:50:07,023
赏你耳光

746
00:50:07,130 --> 00:50:08,529
赏你耳光

747
00:50:10,717 --> 00:50:11,570
再赏你耳光

748
00:50:11,676 --> 00:50:13,075
再赏你耳光

749
00:50:18,558 --> 00:50:20,628
他打我

750
00:50:21,561 --> 00:50:23,961
他打我

751
00:50:28,151 --> 00:50:29,425
快点快点

752
00:50:29,527 --> 00:50:32,507
趁国王还在哭 你们快点走吧

753
00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:47,272
法师 我已经尽力帮你了

754
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:49,194
你搞出这样的事情

755
00:50:49,297 --> 00:50:51,276
法师的招牌恐怕是

756
00:50:54,093 --> 00:50:56,288
无可救药了

757
00:50:57,013 --> 00:50:58,366
来人

758
00:50:59,265 --> 00:51:01,085
这里有些盘缠

759
00:51:02,060 --> 00:51:04,130
你先拿去用吧

760
00:51:04,228 --> 00:51:06,799
这十年八年你就别出现了

761
00:51:06,898 --> 00:51:09,128
我弄成这样 怎么可以拿你的

762
00:51:09,233 --> 00:51:11,588
算了 人心都是肉长的

763
00:51:12,236 --> 00:51:13,760
相见难

764
00:51:14,113 --> 00:51:16,013
离别就更难

765
00:51:16,115 --> 00:51:18,811
今日一别 不知何时还能再见

766
00:51:19,368 --> 00:51:20,437
保重了

767
00:51:20,536 --> 00:51:21,685
唐唐

768
00:51:26,250 --> 00:51:28,605
国师超级喜欢你

769
00:51:28,711 --> 00:51:30,611
师父你是吃定她了吧

770
00:51:30,713 --> 00:51:32,567
你的桃花运真好 佩服佩服

771
00:51:32,673 --> 00:51:35,653
不过你的确是有魅力 该有这种艳福

772
00:51:37,553 --> 00:51:38,827
你这只臭猴子

773
00:51:38,930 --> 00:51:40,625
你还好意思说话

774
00:51:40,807 --> 00:51:42,786
我料到这次会出事

775
00:51:42,892 --> 00:51:44,086
没想到你玩那么大

776
00:51:44,185 --> 00:51:46,415
你给我跪下

777
00:51:46,687 --> 00:51:48,587
不跪我就打到你跪

778
00:51:49,107 --> 00:51:49,801
跪下

779
00:51:49,941 --> 00:51:50,919
打啊

780
00:51:51,192 --> 00:51:54,138
你知不知道当众出丑是什么感受吗

781
00:51:54,278 --> 00:51:56,974
我整天当众被罚跳这种烂舞

782
00:51:57,073 --> 00:51:58,426
你能知道我的感受吗

783
00:51:58,533 --> 00:51:59,386
在小弟们面前

784
00:51:59,492 --> 00:52:01,437
跪在地上像狗一样被你打

785
00:52:01,786 --> 00:52:03,515
你知不知道我感受

786
00:52:03,913 --> 00:52:04,607
没错

787
00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:05,933
我就是要耍你

788
00:52:06,207 --> 00:52:07,651
让你知道什么叫没有尊严

789
00:52:11,546 --> 00:52:12,615
好

790
00:52:13,256 --> 00:52:15,110
既然都说到这个地步

791
00:52:15,383 --> 00:52:16,532
我就一掌打死你

792
00:52:16,634 --> 00:52:17,703
你打啊

793
00:52:18,136 --> 00:52:18,955
我早就想好了

794
00:52:19,053 --> 00:52:20,998
我宁死也不要被你折磨

795
00:52:21,639 --> 00:52:23,209
我只想告诉你

796
00:52:23,474 --> 00:52:25,874
什么叫己所不欲

797
00:52:26,144 --> 00:52:27,623
勿施于人

798
00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:43,980
对不起 我错了

799
00:52:47,206 --> 00:52:49,561
滚 别跟我来这套

800
00:52:51,711 --> 00:52:54,612
你说得对 己所不欲勿施于人

801
00:52:56,090 --> 00:52:57,910
师父整天罚你跳舞

802
00:52:58,426 --> 00:52:59,700
让你当众出丑

803
00:53:00,136 --> 00:53:03,742
现在我才知道 没有尊严是有多惨

804
00:53:03,848 --> 00:53:05,042
有多惨

805
00:53:06,267 --> 00:53:08,667
师父叫你臭猴子是错的

806
00:53:08,769 --> 00:53:11,465
一天到晚只知道打你骂你

807
00:53:12,607 --> 00:53:14,632
完全没有顾及你的感受

808
00:53:18,988 --> 00:53:20,137
其实有问题的人

809
00:53:20,740 --> 00:53:21,684
是我

810
00:53:22,283 --> 00:53:24,103
是我搞到大家都不开心

811
00:53:24,952 --> 00:53:26,726
我真的知道错了

812
00:53:27,121 --> 00:53:29,225
希望你原谅我一次吧

813
00:53:29,749 --> 00:53:32,070
给我一次机会 原谅我吧

814
00:53:34,295 --> 00:53:36,240
师父终于良心发现了

815
00:53:36,672 --> 00:53:40,369
没见识 这招以退为进够厉害的

816
00:53:40,468 --> 00:53:42,447
在适当的时候下跪认错

817
00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:44,157
可以收买人心

818
00:53:44,347 --> 00:53:46,998
你看 大师兄现在不就服服帖帖吗

819
00:53:49,143 --> 00:53:50,667
师父看着傻

820
00:53:50,770 --> 00:53:52,920
其实他是管理学的高手

821
00:53:55,107 --> 00:53:56,256
师父

822
00:53:57,610 --> 00:53:59,430
其实我做得也有点过分

823
00:54:01,030 --> 00:54:02,383
快起来

824
00:54:05,534 --> 00:54:07,058
师父其实很疼你的

825
00:54:07,161 --> 00:54:09,231
难道要告诉你吗

826
00:54:10,289 --> 00:54:12,393
师父 你对我怎样

827
00:54:12,500 --> 00:54:13,979
我的心里很清楚

828
00:54:14,085 --> 00:54:14,688
可我以后

829
00:54:14,794 --> 00:54:16,694
真的不想再跳那些舞蹈了

830
00:54:17,046 --> 00:54:18,195
坦白说 悟空

831
00:54:18,381 --> 00:54:19,905
你跳舞是很有天份的

832
00:54:20,841 --> 00:54:21,990
师父 还说这些

833
00:54:22,093 --> 00:54:23,037
不好吧

834
00:54:23,135 --> 00:54:25,080
不要叫我师父了

835
00:54:25,179 --> 00:54:27,204
我们两个是一辈子的兄弟

836
00:54:27,390 --> 00:54:30,120
以后叫我大哥就行了 好吗

837
00:54:32,311 --> 00:54:33,414
大哥

838
00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:36,751
大哥

839
00:54:37,984 --> 00:54:39,303
你看效果多显著

840
00:54:39,402 --> 00:54:42,474
不单握手言和 还准备亲上了

841
00:54:42,697 --> 00:54:44,221
你不服都不行

842
00:54:45,533 --> 00:54:48,513
皇宫禁地 擅闯者格杀勿论

843
00:54:49,787 --> 00:54:51,015
不好意思

844
00:54:51,122 --> 00:54:52,350
法师

845
00:54:54,083 --> 00:54:54,936
你回来干嘛

846
00:54:55,251 --> 00:54:55,899
真人

847
00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:57,981
我想了又想 越想越不对劲

848
00:54:58,087 --> 00:54:59,031
必须救救我的招牌

849
00:54:59,130 --> 00:55:00,779
我想跟皇上解释一下

850
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:04,279
我拜托你赶紧走吧

851
00:55:04,385 --> 00:55:06,239
你还要进去 只会有更多的混乱

852
00:55:06,429 --> 00:55:09,034
国师 我招牌很值钱 别人不知道

853
00:55:09,140 --> 00:55:11,040
你就最清楚了 帮帮忙吧

854
00:55:20,526 --> 00:55:22,096
你们还敢回来

855
00:55:23,738 --> 00:55:25,091
皇上息怒

856
00:55:25,197 --> 00:55:27,347
唐僧有话要说

857
00:55:27,450 --> 00:55:28,519
是的 皇上

858
00:55:28,617 --> 00:55:30,346
刚才的事 跟我无关

859
00:55:30,453 --> 00:55:32,774
完全是这个劣徒 一手造成

860
00:55:32,955 --> 00:55:35,059
所以特意带他来 向你道歉

861
00:55:35,166 --> 00:55:36,895
顺便奉上精彩的

862
00:55:37,001 --> 00:55:38,525
驱魔表演

863
00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:40,110
悟空

864
00:55:52,183 --> 00:55:52,956
打我

865
00:55:53,934 --> 00:55:54,912
你们变态的

866
00:55:55,436 --> 00:55:56,084
对啊

867
00:55:56,187 --> 00:55:59,418
玩游戏让皇上消消气也好

868
00:55:59,523 --> 00:56:00,842
孙长老

869
00:56:00,941 --> 00:56:02,841
我跟你解释一下游戏规则

870
00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:09,726
法师

871
00:56:09,825 --> 00:56:12,555
这会不会太随心随性了

872
00:56:23,172 --> 00:56:24,446
是不是没吃饭

873
00:56:24,548 --> 00:56:25,742
用力一点行吗

874
00:56:25,841 --> 00:56:27,160
这样打

875
00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:57,437
滚

876
00:57:00,709 --> 00:57:01,937
危险

877
00:57:34,535 --> 00:57:35,888
红孩儿

878
00:57:35,995 --> 00:57:37,269
孙悟空

879
00:57:37,371 --> 00:57:38,975
你终于现形了

880
00:57:39,540 --> 00:57:41,485
我早就看出你有古怪

881
00:57:41,584 --> 00:57:42,232
传闻

882
00:57:42,334 --> 00:57:44,404
你手执丈八火尖枪

883
00:57:44,503 --> 00:57:45,231
脚下

884
00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:47,525
是赤焰掣金轮 幸会了

885
00:57:49,216 --> 00:57:50,695
你叫齐天大圣

886
00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:52,363
那就是很厉害了

887
00:57:52,553 --> 00:57:53,497
露两手

888
00:57:53,596 --> 00:57:54,824
给本少爷瞧瞧

889
00:58:22,541 --> 00:58:23,485
出阴招

890
00:58:25,794 --> 00:58:27,113
看我的

891
00:58:38,933 --> 00:58:40,537
法师 快过来

892
00:59:34,321 --> 00:59:36,141
三昧真火

893
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,140
接招

894
01:00:32,087 --> 01:00:32,985
皇宫

895
01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:35,739
没了

896
01:00:37,551 --> 01:00:40,076
全毁了

897
01:00:40,929 --> 01:00:42,123
笨猴子

898
01:00:42,222 --> 01:00:43,120
别躲了

899
01:00:43,641 --> 01:00:45,211
出来见我

900
01:02:19,403 --> 01:02:20,631
到我了

901
01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:33,652
救命啊

902
01:02:34,626 --> 01:02:35,945
救命啊

903
01:02:36,670 --> 01:02:37,944
发生什么事

904
01:02:38,046 --> 01:02:40,401
是不是地震啊

905
01:02:41,258 --> 01:02:41,986
皇上

906
01:02:44,470 --> 01:02:45,539
打住

907
01:02:47,514 --> 01:02:48,538
让我来

908
01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:05,017
好萌的妖怪

909
01:03:06,158 --> 01:03:08,388
这只妖我收了 送给你做纪念

910
01:03:08,494 --> 01:03:10,689
好 那我就日夜诵经

911
01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:12,649
为它去除魔性

912
01:03:13,165 --> 01:03:14,644
我尽力而为吧

913
01:03:17,628 --> 01:03:18,822
国王

914
01:03:20,756 --> 01:03:22,155
皇上

915
01:03:28,263 --> 01:03:29,616
多谢各位高僧

916
01:03:29,723 --> 01:03:31,998
让我们终于找到真正的国王

917
01:03:32,100 --> 01:03:34,330
我们还准备了厚礼送给法师

918
01:03:34,436 --> 01:03:35,585
请看

919
01:03:48,951 --> 01:03:51,556
本王后宫佳丽三千

920
01:03:51,662 --> 01:03:53,061
你随意吧

921
01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:53,731
都给我吗

922
01:03:53,831 --> 01:03:56,686
当然 本王连王位都给你

923
01:03:56,792 --> 01:03:58,271
皇上 你冷静点

924
01:03:59,127 --> 01:04:00,822
皇上的意思是

925
01:04:01,088 --> 01:04:03,534
你可以多挑几个宫女随行

926
01:04:03,757 --> 01:04:04,610
是这个意思

927
01:04:04,716 --> 01:04:06,616
谢皇上一番好意 可贫僧

928
01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:08,538
师父跟我们是这种人吗

929
01:04:08,637 --> 01:04:10,457
我们最痛恨的就是女色

930
01:04:10,556 --> 01:04:11,454
有本事你就全给我

931
01:04:11,557 --> 01:04:13,252
我一个一个收拾她们

932
01:04:14,142 --> 01:04:15,040
鱼快干死了

933
01:04:15,143 --> 01:04:16,246
不要浪费

934
01:04:16,770 --> 01:04:18,214
你的口水好臭啊

935
01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:19,291
便宜你了

936
01:04:19,398 --> 01:04:21,093
随便吧 比没有好

937
01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:24,296
其实怎么都会用得上

938
01:04:24,403 --> 01:04:25,802
挑一两个吧 对啊

939
01:04:26,154 --> 01:04:29,385
这次不让我收拾她们就说不过去了

940
01:04:29,825 --> 01:04:31,975
如果皇上一定要诚意报答的话

941
01:04:32,077 --> 01:04:33,055
依贫僧之意

942
01:04:33,620 --> 01:04:35,690
不如还众佳丽自由 好吗

943
01:04:35,956 --> 01:04:36,854
没问题

944
01:04:36,957 --> 01:04:39,437
你们谁谁谁 想走就尽管走

945
01:04:39,543 --> 01:04:42,569
本王绝不追究 君无戏言

946
01:04:43,088 --> 01:04:44,658
皇上 那

947
01:04:44,756 --> 01:04:45,529
我很想哭

948
01:04:45,632 --> 01:04:48,078
后宫佳丽三千 没一个有人样

949
01:04:48,176 --> 01:04:49,154
又那么能吃

950
01:04:49,261 --> 01:04:52,913
一天七顿饭 每顿吃七碗 早点走吧

951
01:04:53,140 --> 01:04:54,368
你们自由了 走吧

952
01:04:54,474 --> 01:04:55,543
你有病啊

953
01:04:55,642 --> 01:04:56,540
做皇妃做得好好的

954
01:04:56,643 --> 01:04:57,712
我为什么要走

955
01:04:57,811 --> 01:04:59,881
死秃驴 你算哪颗葱

956
01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:01,254
不要捣乱 不然我喊人了

957
01:05:01,982 --> 01:05:03,176
我们这么爱慕虚荣吗

958
01:05:03,567 --> 01:05:05,762
我们是为了真爱

959
01:05:05,861 --> 01:05:07,761
赶走唐僧 保卫爱情

960
01:05:08,030 --> 01:05:10,225
赶走唐僧 保卫爱情

961
01:05:10,324 --> 01:05:12,724
赶走唐僧 保卫爱情

962
01:05:12,826 --> 01:05:14,646
赶走唐僧 保卫爱情

963
01:05:15,203 --> 01:05:17,808
你看 她们有多爱你啊

964
01:05:18,790 --> 01:05:20,644
打得你断子绝孙

965
01:05:20,918 --> 01:05:22,237
对不起 我不对 使劲打

966
01:05:22,628 --> 01:05:25,233
好了好了 都留下好吧

967
01:05:28,717 --> 01:05:31,038
我好想死

968
01:05:37,476 --> 01:05:39,296
就是 就是

969
01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:41,172
就是 你

970
01:05:41,271 --> 01:05:42,124
我 对

971
01:05:42,230 --> 01:05:45,131
就是你后面穿黑衣服的

972
01:05:45,233 --> 01:05:47,633
你啊 我怎么没有见过你

973
01:05:47,736 --> 01:05:49,431
这是新来的宫女

974
01:05:49,529 --> 01:05:51,303
她原先是一名歌姬

975
01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:55,554
你叫什么名字

976
01:05:56,995 --> 01:05:58,769
奴婢小善

977
01:05:58,956 --> 01:06:00,400
既然是歌姬

978
01:06:00,582 --> 01:06:02,561
就赶快表演一曲

979
01:06:02,668 --> 01:06:04,898
送给大师们饯行吧

980
01:06:06,171 --> 01:06:07,274
是

981
01:06:24,398 --> 01:06:26,047
胖女人 我才不怕你

982
01:06:48,755 --> 01:06:50,780
（昨天 今天）

983
01:06:50,882 --> 01:06:54,659
（过去不再回来）

984
01:06:57,097 --> 01:06:58,997
（红颜落下）

985
01:06:59,099 --> 01:07:03,877
（色彩变苍白）

986
01:07:04,354 --> 01:07:08,176
（从前直到现在）

987
01:07:09,109 --> 01:07:12,636
（爱还在）

988
01:07:12,738 --> 01:07:16,094
（愿去等你漂泊）

989
01:07:16,700 --> 01:07:20,101
（白云外）

990
01:07:22,164 --> 01:07:24,860
（痛爱）

991
01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:27,779
（让人悲哀）

992
01:07:29,838 --> 01:07:32,944
（在世上）

993
01:07:33,050 --> 01:07:37,578
（命运不能更改）

994
01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:41,080
（放开）

995
01:07:41,683 --> 01:07:46,507
（不能再相爱）

996
01:07:46,605 --> 01:07:53,340
（难道这是上天的安排）

997
01:07:58,533 --> 01:08:01,639
好 声色艺俱全 精彩

998
01:08:13,548 --> 01:08:14,492
法师

999
01:08:15,717 --> 01:08:16,285
什么

1000
01:08:17,469 --> 01:08:19,573
皇上问你 让小善陪你西行

1001
01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:20,657
好不好

1002
01:08:20,764 --> 01:08:21,788
不行不行

1003
01:08:21,932 --> 01:08:24,002
贫僧西行取经是苦行修佛

1004
01:08:24,392 --> 01:08:25,745
恐怕是不太合适

1005
01:08:26,937 --> 01:08:29,132
小善一直都有烧香礼佛

1006
01:08:29,231 --> 01:08:30,584
对佛理兴趣浓厚

1007
01:08:30,690 --> 01:08:33,090
取经路上风餐露宿 粗衣粝食

1008
01:08:33,235 --> 01:08:35,635
女孩子不行的 捱不了的

1009
01:08:35,946 --> 01:08:37,174
我不怕

1010
01:08:37,531 --> 01:08:39,010
小善家境清贫

1011
01:08:39,116 --> 01:08:41,562
自幼挑柴煮饭 织布造衫

1012
01:08:41,660 --> 01:08:43,764
早就习惯了艰苦生活

1013
01:08:43,870 --> 01:08:44,564
好

1014
01:08:44,663 --> 01:08:46,267
说得太感人了

1015
01:08:46,373 --> 01:08:47,943
这个小善

1016
01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:50,896
能歌善舞 还会洗衣做饭

1017
01:08:51,169 --> 01:08:55,071
此乃是居家旅行必备之良品啊

1018
01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:55,901
不过

1019
01:08:56,133 --> 01:08:58,408
大师 你真的不要吗

1020
01:08:59,386 --> 01:09:00,114
不要

1021
01:09:01,763 --> 01:09:03,162
你不后悔吗

1022
01:09:03,557 --> 01:09:04,285
不后悔

1023
01:09:04,599 --> 01:09:08,000
大师你冷静一下 再想清楚

1024
01:09:08,103 --> 01:09:09,377
我再问你一次

1025
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:10,673
你真的不要

1026
01:09:11,189 --> 01:09:11,712
是

1027
01:09:11,815 --> 01:09:13,794
有没有搞错 这么好的姑娘

1028
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:16,721
你为什么不要呢 天理不容

1029
01:09:17,195 --> 01:09:18,093
国师

1030
01:09:18,196 --> 01:09:20,221
这样吧

1031
01:09:20,323 --> 01:09:23,975
小善 有多快就多快送来我房间

1032
01:09:26,371 --> 01:09:27,520
皇上

1033
01:09:33,795 --> 01:09:36,070
那贫僧就先行告辞了

1034
01:09:41,761 --> 01:09:42,989
来人 送客

1035
01:09:43,096 --> 01:09:44,120
把鱼拖出去

1036
01:09:44,222 --> 01:09:45,450
你过来

1037
01:10:28,475 --> 01:10:29,624
有过痛苦

1038
01:10:30,352 --> 01:10:32,172
方知众生痛苦

1039
01:10:33,730 --> 01:10:34,879
有过执着

1040
01:10:35,398 --> 01:10:36,717
放下执着

1041
01:10:38,818 --> 01:10:39,921
有过牵挂

1042
01:10:41,112 --> 01:10:42,807
了无牵挂

1043
01:10:44,991 --> 01:10:46,765
这是一种境界

1044
01:10:48,620 --> 01:10:49,723
而我

1045
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:52,646
只是一个凡人

1046
01:10:56,878 --> 01:10:57,947
皇上

1047
01:10:58,046 --> 01:11:00,196
法师又回来了

1048
01:11:04,135 --> 01:11:06,410
三藏大师途中折返

1049
01:11:06,513 --> 01:11:08,333
莫非遇到了什么事

1050
01:11:08,556 --> 01:11:10,160
贫僧翻来覆去

1051
01:11:10,267 --> 01:11:11,211
觉得还是不要辜负

1052
01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:12,958
皇上的一番美意

1053
01:11:13,061 --> 01:11:16,041
恳请皇上赐小善陪贫僧上路

1054
01:11:17,524 --> 01:11:19,128
应该没有问题吧

1055
01:11:21,611 --> 01:11:22,509
不过

1056
01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:23,465
不过什么

1057
01:11:23,571 --> 01:11:26,551
本王已经跟小善爱情动作了

1058
01:11:29,411 --> 01:11:31,732
不如这样 你再选别人吧

1059
01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:36,652
法师

1060
01:11:36,751 --> 01:11:39,072
本宫也爱莫能助了

1061
01:11:41,464 --> 01:11:44,115
这样而已 贫僧不介意

1062
01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:47,447
小善得到皇上的指导

1063
01:11:47,554 --> 01:11:48,782
贫僧深感光荣

1064
01:11:48,888 --> 01:11:50,116
这样你都不介意

1065
01:11:50,682 --> 01:11:51,876
绝不介意

1066
01:11:51,975 --> 01:11:53,419
你不介意

1067
01:11:53,518 --> 01:11:55,463
我介意

1068
01:11:58,732 --> 01:12:00,677
其实据本宫所知

1069
01:12:00,775 --> 01:12:02,754
昨晚小善誓死不从

1070
01:12:02,861 --> 01:12:04,465
坚决不肯做皇妃

1071
01:12:04,571 --> 01:12:07,301
还说如果逼她的话 情愿一死了之

1072
01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:09,636
那就是

1073
01:12:09,743 --> 01:12:10,937
是

1074
01:12:11,036 --> 01:12:12,105
是我骗你

1075
01:12:12,203 --> 01:12:13,807
那又怎样

1076
01:12:13,913 --> 01:12:16,814
我昨天是不是问了你八次

1077
01:12:16,916 --> 01:12:18,360
你都说你不要

1078
01:12:18,460 --> 01:12:21,236
你现在莫名其妙地回来说要

1079
01:12:21,338 --> 01:12:24,318
你要赶尽杀绝吗

1080
01:12:24,883 --> 01:12:26,453
别那么生气了

1081
01:12:26,551 --> 01:12:28,200
我们捶捶腿吧

1082
01:12:28,303 --> 01:12:29,702
后宫佳丽三千人

1083
01:12:30,263 --> 01:12:32,993
个个长得跟雷劈了一样

1084
01:12:33,099 --> 01:12:35,499
就这么一个好看的

1085
01:12:35,602 --> 01:12:37,923
你连根骨头都不留给我吗

1086
01:12:38,021 --> 01:12:38,794
是

1087
01:12:38,897 --> 01:12:40,421
你这个混蛋

1088
01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:43,886
既然法师已经想清楚了

1089
01:12:43,985 --> 01:12:45,759
小善又不肯做皇妃

1090
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:48,012
我们不如成人之美吧

1091
01:12:48,907 --> 01:12:49,635
就这么定了

1092
01:12:49,741 --> 01:12:51,265
把小善带上来

1093
01:12:51,826 --> 01:12:53,305
谢皇上成全

1094
01:13:35,453 --> 01:13:36,147
师父

1095
01:13:36,246 --> 01:13:37,270
喝水

1096
01:13:39,833 --> 01:13:40,902
你先喝

1097
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:42,103
谢谢

1098
01:13:45,380 --> 01:13:47,029
悟空 你干嘛

1099
01:13:47,132 --> 01:13:48,326
撒尿

1100
01:13:48,591 --> 01:13:50,536
有女孩子在啊 你有没有搞错

1101
01:13:50,635 --> 01:13:52,284
去那边

1102
01:13:53,888 --> 01:13:55,412
小善 你陪我去

1103
01:13:56,349 --> 01:13:57,452
我不急啊

1104
01:13:57,559 --> 01:13:58,628
我说你急就急

1105
01:13:58,726 --> 01:13:59,750
走了

1106
01:14:01,479 --> 01:14:03,083
你等等我马上回来

1107
01:14:05,150 --> 01:14:06,344
小师妹

1108
01:14:07,110 --> 01:14:08,134
你是谁

1109
01:14:08,611 --> 01:14:10,090
二师兄啊

1110
01:14:10,196 --> 01:14:12,972
我的真面目是不是帅得很过份呢

1111
01:14:14,951 --> 01:14:15,599
有时候

1112
01:14:16,453 --> 01:14:19,024
我一照镜子 自己都吓一跳

1113
01:14:19,456 --> 01:14:20,059
二师兄

1114
01:14:20,665 --> 01:14:22,235
大师兄在看你

1115
01:14:22,625 --> 01:14:24,069
所以我不能照镜子的

1116
01:14:24,169 --> 01:14:25,363
万一不小心照到

1117
01:14:27,589 --> 01:14:29,819
会心跳加速 犹如鹿撞

1118
01:14:40,101 --> 01:14:41,500
重口味 好

1119
01:14:41,603 --> 01:14:44,049
小善 快拿鞭子打师兄

1120
01:14:44,355 --> 01:14:46,255
调教我 凌辱我

1121
01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:49,303
蹂躏我 惩罚我 折磨我

1122
01:14:51,029 --> 01:14:52,303
你笑什么

1123
01:14:55,074 --> 01:14:56,598
三师兄 你咳嗽了

1124
01:14:56,701 --> 01:14:58,100
喝点水吧

1125
01:14:59,579 --> 01:15:01,649
为什么要塞着鼻子

1126
01:15:17,263 --> 01:15:18,036
好舒服啊

1127
01:15:18,431 --> 01:15:21,036
原来你打个喷嚏就变回人形

1128
01:15:21,142 --> 01:15:23,838
早知道就不用那么辛苦拉你了

1129
01:15:24,812 --> 01:15:26,416
拜托你

1130
01:15:26,523 --> 01:15:29,003
就算你没尿 也尽力挤一点出来

1131
01:15:29,108 --> 01:15:30,507
好好照照自己的样子

1132
01:15:34,447 --> 01:15:36,426
帅爆了 有什么可帮到你

1133
01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:39,346
爆你个头啊 你头发都没有

1134
01:15:39,994 --> 01:15:41,313
小善还有点姿色

1135
01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:42,765
她有什么理由连皇后也不做

1136
01:15:42,872 --> 01:15:44,567
跟你出来啊

1137
01:15:45,291 --> 01:15:46,815
那你说为什么呢

1138
01:15:47,001 --> 01:15:49,777
因为她是妖精 她想吃你

1139
01:15:51,631 --> 01:15:53,110
别滋过来

1140
01:15:55,218 --> 01:15:57,573
她是妖精你不早说 现在才说

1141
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:00,250
妖精分好多类

1142
01:16:00,348 --> 01:16:01,918
有的一眼就能看出来

1143
01:16:02,016 --> 01:16:04,917
有的还真不那么容易看出来

1144
01:16:07,981 --> 01:16:09,380
那就是没有证据了

1145
01:16:10,358 --> 01:16:12,258
证据是要找的

1146
01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,134
泡妞泡傻了吧

1147
01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:15,932
大明咒 照妖镜

1148
01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:17,516
你不是不知道吧

1149
01:16:17,615 --> 01:16:19,515
你是出来混的吗 驱魔人

1150
01:16:44,058 --> 01:16:45,161
找什么

1151
01:16:45,393 --> 01:16:46,587
找一面镜子

1152
01:16:47,103 --> 01:16:48,297
我有

1153
01:16:52,442 --> 01:16:53,716
谢谢

1154
01:16:55,194 --> 01:16:56,968
这面镜子发光的

1155
01:17:01,576 --> 01:17:02,600
坏了吗

1156
01:17:03,703 --> 01:17:04,556
没坏啊

1157
01:17:09,751 --> 01:17:11,070
玩够了吗

1158
01:17:11,711 --> 01:17:13,190
小善过来 我帮你梳头

1159
01:17:23,181 --> 01:17:24,534
你干嘛

1160
01:17:25,725 --> 01:17:27,044
只要将妖精的血滴上去

1161
01:17:27,143 --> 01:17:28,417
就会冒烟

1162
01:17:30,647 --> 01:17:31,375
没有啊

1163
01:17:31,481 --> 01:17:32,505
不可能

1164
01:17:32,815 --> 01:17:34,214
闭嘴吧你 驱魔人

1165
01:17:34,317 --> 01:17:36,171
大家冷静一下 如果不是 你是哪里人

1166
01:17:36,277 --> 01:17:37,721
我是河口村人

1167
01:17:38,488 --> 01:17:39,056
河口村

1168
01:17:39,280 --> 01:17:40,429
河口村就在那边

1169
01:17:40,531 --> 01:17:42,055
敢不敢跟我们走一趟

1170
01:17:42,158 --> 01:17:43,637
我从没见过妖精有家人的

1171
01:17:43,743 --> 01:17:44,937
去就去

1172
01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,033
小善 你好久没回来了

1173
01:17:57,131 --> 01:18:00,282
娘 我是跟大唐的高僧去取经修行

1174
01:18:02,011 --> 01:18:03,865
你看这一家人多好

1175
01:18:03,971 --> 01:18:05,620
还不快跟小善道歉

1176
01:18:06,015 --> 01:18:07,960
道歉 想得美

1177
01:18:16,359 --> 01:18:17,462
爹

1178
01:18:22,699 --> 01:18:25,099
妖女 请了那么多临时演员回来

1179
01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:26,020
你好下本啊

1180
01:18:26,119 --> 01:18:28,019
我不知道我和你之间有什么误会

1181
01:18:28,121 --> 01:18:29,395
我求求你放了我娘亲

1182
01:18:29,497 --> 01:18:31,351
放我家人一条生路

1183
01:18:31,541 --> 01:18:34,112
大师兄你别冲动 先放手

1184
01:18:34,210 --> 01:18:35,234
娘

1185
01:18:35,628 --> 01:18:37,949
师兄不要这样 师父只是照顾师妹

1186
01:18:38,047 --> 01:18:38,900
不代表他不疼你

1187
01:18:39,507 --> 01:18:40,986
你不要嫉妒她了

1188
01:18:41,592 --> 01:18:42,661
嫉妒

1189
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:45,410
都给我闭嘴

1190
01:18:48,725 --> 01:18:50,829
娘 快走

1191
01:18:52,186 --> 01:18:54,131
你要我说多少次才会信我

1192
01:18:54,230 --> 01:18:55,424
这个女人是妖精

1193
01:18:55,523 --> 01:18:56,626
她们串通好来害你的

1194
01:18:56,733 --> 01:18:58,086
明明小善家有老小

1195
01:18:58,443 --> 01:19:00,343
你还要冤枉他们

1196
01:19:01,028 --> 01:19:02,848
现在害人的是你

1197
01:19:02,947 --> 01:19:04,141
你才是妖精

1198
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:06,595
你是不是信她 不信我

1199
01:19:06,826 --> 01:19:07,895
是

1200
01:19:07,994 --> 01:19:08,767
好

1201
01:19:08,995 --> 01:19:10,144
那我杀了她

1202
01:19:16,878 --> 01:19:18,948
你居然为了一只妖精打我

1203
01:19:19,589 --> 01:19:20,738
是不是我喜欢的女人

1204
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:22,114
都要像段小姐

1205
01:19:22,216 --> 01:19:23,615
那样死在你手上

1206
01:19:24,385 --> 01:19:25,909
终于说出来了

1207
01:19:30,141 --> 01:19:32,211
原来这事你一直都记住

1208
01:19:32,310 --> 01:19:33,880
我当然记住

1209
01:19:34,061 --> 01:19:35,005
我永远都会记住

1210
01:19:35,104 --> 01:19:37,584
她是怎么被你活生生打死的

1211
01:19:38,483 --> 01:19:40,132
我以为你真把我当兄弟

1212
01:19:40,651 --> 01:19:41,629
兄弟

1213
01:19:42,069 --> 01:19:44,594
天天跟你这个变态杀人狂在一起

1214
01:19:44,697 --> 01:19:47,598
我不跟你装兄弟 我能怎么办

1215
01:19:47,700 --> 01:19:49,804
你 死十次都不嫌多

1216
01:19:49,911 --> 01:19:52,141
我希望你下地狱 永不超生

1217
01:19:52,246 --> 01:19:53,190
好

1218
01:19:53,581 --> 01:19:55,185
这个世界不是朋友

1219
01:19:55,750 --> 01:19:57,399
就是敌人了

1220
01:19:58,586 --> 01:19:59,939
我们从头到尾都是敌人

1221
01:20:00,588 --> 01:20:01,691
滚

1222
01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:04,694
趁我今天心情好 你有多远滚多远

1223
01:20:05,843 --> 01:20:07,367
你今天心情好 是吧

1224
01:20:07,470 --> 01:20:09,074
你们给我听着

1225
01:20:09,305 --> 01:20:11,580
一路以来 我杀的妖

1226
01:20:11,682 --> 01:20:12,626
降的魔

1227
01:20:12,725 --> 01:20:14,249
全都是为了他

1228
01:20:14,727 --> 01:20:16,797
而我这治不好的偏头痛

1229
01:20:16,896 --> 01:20:18,670
和满身的鞭痕

1230
01:20:18,815 --> 01:20:20,760
全都是他赐给我的

1231
01:20:21,317 --> 01:20:22,636
我欠他的

1232
01:20:22,735 --> 01:20:24,384
已经还清了

1233
01:20:24,779 --> 01:20:27,600
他欠我的 也不必再还

1234
01:20:28,115 --> 01:20:30,265
从今以后 你我师徒二人

1235
01:20:30,368 --> 01:20:31,767
恩断义绝

1236
01:20:33,329 --> 01:20:34,728
大师兄 不要理他

1237
01:20:42,964 --> 01:20:43,908
爹

1238
01:21:08,614 --> 01:21:10,013
小善 他们怎样了

1239
01:21:10,116 --> 01:21:13,222
敷了药休息了 希望没事

1240
01:21:14,120 --> 01:21:17,146
算了吧 这事与你无关

1241
01:21:17,331 --> 01:21:19,276
谁是段小姐

1242
01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:24,987
段小姐也是驱魔人

1243
01:21:25,882 --> 01:21:28,282
我们一起经历过生生死死

1244
01:21:28,759 --> 01:21:29,908
其实我很爱她

1245
01:21:30,553 --> 01:21:32,748
不过我从来都不敢承认

1246
01:21:33,556 --> 01:21:34,409
直到那天

1247
01:21:34,515 --> 01:21:35,868
我亲眼看到她被悟空

1248
01:21:35,975 --> 01:21:37,374
活生生打死

1249
01:21:37,894 --> 01:21:39,293
一切已经太迟了

1250
01:21:40,271 --> 01:21:41,750
是我辜负了她

1251
01:21:42,648 --> 01:21:45,253
如果你再遇到一个喜欢的人

1252
01:21:45,359 --> 01:21:46,929
你还会辜负她吗

1253
01:21:53,993 --> 01:21:56,518
其实我的理想很简单

1254
01:21:57,580 --> 01:21:59,480
找一个如意郎君

1255
01:22:00,291 --> 01:22:03,647
组织一个小家庭 生一个小宝贝

1256
01:22:04,670 --> 01:22:06,774
然后简简单单地过生活

1257
01:22:10,509 --> 01:22:11,658
那个人

1258
01:22:12,053 --> 01:22:13,247
就是你

1259
01:22:36,410 --> 01:22:37,604
师父 出事了

1260
01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:38,601
大师兄他疯了

1261
01:22:38,704 --> 01:22:41,150
见人就杀 我们拦都拦不住

1262
01:22:52,885 --> 01:22:53,988
悟能 悟净

1263
01:22:54,095 --> 01:22:55,289
你们快去看看 还有没有人能救活

1264
01:22:55,388 --> 01:22:57,037
娘 爹

1265
01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:09,337
爹 娘

1266
01:23:09,902 --> 01:23:12,723
杀了那么多人你还笑得出来

1267
01:23:12,822 --> 01:23:14,392
你是着魔了吗

1268
01:23:15,157 --> 01:23:17,307
我杀的那些 全部都是妖精

1269
01:23:18,119 --> 01:23:19,472
算了吧

1270
01:23:19,578 --> 01:23:20,852
反正我说什么你都不信

1271
01:23:22,248 --> 01:23:23,351
再杀最后一只

1272
01:23:23,457 --> 01:23:24,651
收工

1273
01:23:27,795 --> 01:23:28,614
你不要逼我

1274
01:23:28,713 --> 01:23:30,943
为了这个妖女 你命都不要了吗

1275
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,614
我不会再让你伤害

1276
01:23:32,717 --> 01:23:34,070
我喜欢的人

1277
01:23:34,385 --> 01:23:36,580
没救了 你才是着了魔 死开

1278
01:23:39,390 --> 01:23:40,163
你够了吧

1279
01:23:41,642 --> 01:23:42,495
好啊

1280
01:23:42,601 --> 01:23:44,546
既然你想死 我就成全你

1281
01:23:44,854 --> 01:23:47,334
（孩子 孩子 为何你）

1282
01:23:47,940 --> 01:23:49,794
（孩子 孩子）

1283
01:23:49,900 --> 01:23:51,970
（为何你这么坏）

1284
01:23:52,278 --> 01:23:54,052
我替你唱

1285
01:23:57,241 --> 01:23:57,969
如来神掌

1286
01:24:02,413 --> 01:24:04,392
如来神掌 还在装

1287
01:24:04,498 --> 01:24:05,726
你懂个球

1288
01:24:09,795 --> 01:24:12,241
死也不信我 死仆街

1289
01:24:15,676 --> 01:24:16,779
不要啊

1290
01:24:16,886 --> 01:24:18,956
你不要再打你师父了

1291
01:24:19,055 --> 01:24:21,205
我求求你不要再打了

1292
01:24:23,851 --> 01:24:25,421
我被你感动到了

1293
01:24:25,519 --> 01:24:26,872
那我就先杀了你

1294
01:24:36,655 --> 01:24:38,725
死秃驴 不死也没用

1295
01:24:39,742 --> 01:24:42,518
不要再打了 不要打了

1296
01:24:42,620 --> 01:24:44,815
我承认 我是妖精

1297
01:24:45,956 --> 01:24:46,650
我其实就是

1298
01:24:46,749 --> 01:24:49,149
一堆白骨化成的妖精

1299
01:24:49,335 --> 01:24:51,530
整条村都是我变出来的幻象

1300
01:24:52,296 --> 01:24:53,740
你现在听到了吗

1301
01:24:53,839 --> 01:24:57,536
当年我跟未婚夫在路上遇到山贼

1302
01:24:57,802 --> 01:25:00,908
我最心爱的人居然丢下我自己跑了

1303
01:25:01,013 --> 01:25:01,991
让我受尽凌辱

1304
01:25:04,850 --> 01:25:07,705
山贼将我蹂躏之后就弃尸荒野

1305
01:25:09,188 --> 01:25:11,509
直至化成一堆白骨

1306
01:25:11,607 --> 01:25:14,053
我的怨气到现在还没有散

1307
01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:22,186
其实我只是一堆白骨

1308
01:25:24,036 --> 01:25:25,230
对不起

1309
01:26:09,707 --> 01:26:11,652
出事了 师父挂了 不用取经了

1310
01:26:11,792 --> 01:26:13,111
太好了

1311
01:26:42,281 --> 01:26:43,851
全部搞定了

1312
01:26:44,200 --> 01:26:46,054
九宫真人 你真厉害

1313
01:26:47,953 --> 01:26:49,978
这只猴子魔性大发

1314
01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:51,775
现在牠连师父也吃了

1315
01:26:53,876 --> 01:26:56,026
如来这次肯定被气死

1316
01:26:56,128 --> 01:26:57,322
解说完了吗

1317
01:26:59,757 --> 01:27:02,237
本宫有一个梦想

1318
01:27:02,676 --> 01:27:03,574
就是要令世间

1319
01:27:03,677 --> 01:27:05,747
所有虚伪丑陋的面目

1320
01:27:05,846 --> 01:27:07,495
原形毕露

1321
01:27:08,849 --> 01:27:10,498
小善 不用躲

1322
01:27:10,601 --> 01:27:12,501
来来来 出来

1323
01:27:12,811 --> 01:27:14,631
你这出离间计演得不错

1324
01:27:15,189 --> 01:27:17,840
本宫知道你对唐僧也动了真情

1325
01:27:17,942 --> 01:27:19,921
也算是随心随性

1326
01:27:20,527 --> 01:27:24,258
这正是本宫所提倡的大无上智慧

1327
01:27:26,075 --> 01:27:28,976
这一大佗就是传说中的齐天大圣

1328
01:27:29,578 --> 01:27:31,148
好可爱啊

1329
01:27:31,247 --> 01:27:33,647
来 吃不吃啊

1330
01:27:41,465 --> 01:27:44,411
好 养起来以后慢慢玩

1331
01:27:45,094 --> 01:27:45,947
好

1332
01:27:46,053 --> 01:27:46,826
六只手

1333
01:27:46,929 --> 01:27:50,126
一二三四五六

1334
01:27:52,726 --> 01:27:54,205
到我了

1335
01:28:08,367 --> 01:28:10,141
什么妖魔之王

1336
01:28:10,494 --> 01:28:12,268
我随便咳了两声

1337
01:28:12,371 --> 01:28:14,225
就把你吓得腿软了

1338
01:28:16,583 --> 01:28:17,607
还不叫主人

1339
01:28:18,502 --> 01:28:20,072
你乖乖听话吧

1340
01:28:20,170 --> 01:28:21,899
否则 家法伺候

1341
01:28:49,658 --> 01:28:51,558
你终于露出狐狸尾巴了

1342
01:28:52,161 --> 01:28:53,105
哪有

1343
01:28:53,203 --> 01:28:54,977
我的尾巴都藏好了

1344
01:28:56,040 --> 01:28:57,143
和尚

1345
01:28:57,541 --> 01:28:59,771
是你的尾巴露出来了

1346
01:28:59,877 --> 01:29:01,947
你跟白骨精卿卿我我的样子

1347
01:29:02,629 --> 01:29:03,982
动了凡心吧

1348
01:29:04,214 --> 01:29:06,159
小善她善性未泯

1349
01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:08,954
我要超渡她向善 让她投胎做人

1350
01:29:09,428 --> 01:29:10,452
你有离间计

1351
01:29:10,846 --> 01:29:12,746
我们也有反间计

1352
01:29:12,931 --> 01:29:16,412
传说中白骨精的妖气是无人能看出

1353
01:29:16,518 --> 01:29:17,496
你以为找到她

1354
01:29:17,603 --> 01:29:19,582
就可以离间我们师徒俩

1355
01:29:19,938 --> 01:29:22,589
你太低估悟空的金睛火眼了

1356
01:29:22,691 --> 01:29:25,387
整条村子都是白骨精变出来的幻象

1357
01:29:25,486 --> 01:29:26,635
我们早就知道了

1358
01:29:27,279 --> 01:29:30,476
我们装作不知 顺着这场戏演下去

1359
01:29:30,574 --> 01:29:32,769
就是要让你这个幕后黑手现身

1360
01:29:32,868 --> 01:29:33,471
九宫

1361
01:29:33,577 --> 01:29:35,272
再告诉你一件事

1362
01:29:35,746 --> 01:29:37,600
其实我是很聪明的

1363
01:29:43,962 --> 01:29:45,532
聪明

1364
01:29:45,631 --> 01:29:48,031
笨和尚也有大智慧

1365
01:29:49,676 --> 01:29:52,327
凭你们几个又能把我怎么着

1366
01:29:54,598 --> 01:29:55,701
打他

1367
01:29:56,433 --> 01:29:57,786
打他

1368
01:30:43,689 --> 01:30:46,260
师父 捉住我的尾巴

1369
01:30:50,487 --> 01:30:51,556
小善

1370
01:30:51,655 --> 01:30:53,509
危险 快躲好

1371
01:30:56,285 --> 01:30:58,606
我是齐天大圣

1372
01:30:58,954 --> 01:31:00,979
妖精 看你怎么逃

1373
01:31:07,463 --> 01:31:10,239
臭猴子 这么一个笨和尚

1374
01:31:10,340 --> 01:31:12,035
值得你为他卖命吗

1375
01:31:13,010 --> 01:31:14,329
师父她揭你老底

1376
01:31:14,428 --> 01:31:15,781
她说你笨

1377
01:31:15,971 --> 01:31:18,326
你别听她乱说 其实我很聪明的

1378
01:31:19,183 --> 01:31:20,332
接招

1379
01:31:20,893 --> 01:31:21,962
挡我

1380
01:31:22,436 --> 01:31:23,585
挡得了吗

1381
01:31:29,693 --> 01:31:30,887
孙悟空

1382
01:31:31,111 --> 01:31:32,635
你的克星来了

1383
01:31:51,798 --> 01:31:53,026
如来佛祖

1384
01:31:53,342 --> 01:31:56,288
如来都请来了 九宫你好大的面子

1385
01:32:08,524 --> 01:32:09,718
没可能的

1386
01:32:09,942 --> 01:32:11,136
他是假的

1387
01:32:11,235 --> 01:32:14,011
对啊 鼻子和下巴好像动过

1388
01:32:14,112 --> 01:32:15,591
孙悟空

1389
01:32:16,198 --> 01:32:18,473
你不是见识过如来的威力吗

1390
01:32:18,617 --> 01:32:20,266
来验验货就知道了

1391
01:32:22,829 --> 01:32:25,434
好 看我定海神针

1392
01:32:35,425 --> 01:32:38,451
水再大 也大不过东海

1393
01:33:04,246 --> 01:33:06,601
师父 躲到我耳朵里

1394
01:33:51,293 --> 01:33:52,521
两个如来

1395
01:34:27,162 --> 01:34:28,766
悟空 悟空

1396
01:35:52,873 --> 01:35:54,977
九头金雕

1397
01:35:55,083 --> 01:35:57,483
你在我身边练法修行

1398
01:35:58,545 --> 01:36:00,740
但是一点悟性都没有

1399
01:36:01,506 --> 01:36:05,237
难怪乱闯人间散播歪理

1400
01:36:06,720 --> 01:36:07,994
如来

1401
01:36:08,096 --> 01:36:09,825
我为你而生

1402
01:36:09,931 --> 01:36:12,877
这么多年来我在你身边

1403
01:36:13,393 --> 01:36:15,497
可你没有正眼看过我一次

1404
01:36:15,771 --> 01:36:16,999
无需多言

1405
01:36:18,356 --> 01:36:21,302
九头金雕 现形

1406
01:37:01,066 --> 01:37:02,465
你要振作 小善

1407
01:37:02,901 --> 01:37:04,596
我现在帮你驱除魔性

1408
01:37:06,321 --> 01:37:07,891
魔性太重

1409
01:37:08,156 --> 01:37:09,726
就算救了我

1410
01:37:10,033 --> 01:37:12,183
也难保我不会害人

1411
01:37:12,702 --> 01:37:14,021
你是伏妖高僧

1412
01:37:14,538 --> 01:37:15,891
我是妖

1413
01:37:16,331 --> 01:37:17,901
超渡我

1414
01:37:20,961 --> 01:37:22,030
她说得对

1415
01:37:22,504 --> 01:37:25,610
她怨恨太深 只能灰飞烟灭

1416
01:37:28,176 --> 01:37:29,450
小善

1417
01:37:30,262 --> 01:37:33,959
世上最难过的 是情关

1418
01:37:36,768 --> 01:37:40,295
她 在你心里

1419
01:37:40,397 --> 01:37:42,217
是无比地重要

1420
01:37:42,649 --> 01:37:43,877
如果

1421
01:37:44,818 --> 01:37:48,800
我也可以给你留一点点回忆的话

1422
01:37:48,905 --> 01:37:50,224
就心满意足了

1423
01:37:55,412 --> 01:37:56,731
不要看着我

1424
01:37:56,830 --> 01:37:58,650
这种事你自己来吧

1425
01:37:58,748 --> 01:38:01,103
免得日后你又怪我杀了你的妞

1426
01:38:01,877 --> 01:38:03,071
走了

1427
01:38:07,716 --> 01:38:09,069
其实我

1428
01:38:09,426 --> 01:38:11,530
真的爱上了你

1429
01:38:13,013 --> 01:38:15,208
你有没有爱过我一点点

1430
01:38:18,435 --> 01:38:19,584
对不起

1431
01:38:20,020 --> 01:38:21,373
我心里面

1432
01:38:22,022 --> 01:38:23,876
再容纳不了第二个了

1433
01:38:25,567 --> 01:38:27,341
我觉得我真的好傻

1434
01:38:28,737 --> 01:38:29,886
明知没有

1435
01:38:30,155 --> 01:38:31,383
还要问

1436
01:38:35,994 --> 01:38:37,188
小善

1437
01:38:39,581 --> 01:38:41,105
我要送你上路了

1438
01:39:37,472 --> 01:39:39,451
师父 聊两句

1439
01:39:39,557 --> 01:39:42,128
你到底有没有对小善姑娘动过情啊

1440
01:39:44,479 --> 01:39:45,798
我问你啊

1441
01:39:46,231 --> 01:39:48,631
你到底有没有对小善动过情啊

1442
01:39:50,485 --> 01:39:51,588
当然没有了

1443
01:39:51,695 --> 01:39:53,265
我心里只有你一个人

1444
01:39:53,655 --> 01:39:54,758
只有我一个

1445
01:39:54,990 --> 01:39:55,843
大师兄

1446
01:39:55,949 --> 01:39:58,304
其实你头上的金刚箍是段小姐的

1447
01:39:58,410 --> 01:39:59,513
师父是追忆成狂

1448
01:39:59,619 --> 01:40:01,223
整天把你当成段小姐

1449
01:40:01,329 --> 01:40:03,479
你看他嘴角含春又来了

1450
01:40:04,124 --> 01:40:05,398
不是吧

1451
01:40:08,044 --> 01:40:09,648
不是吧

1452
01:40:11,006 --> 01:40:13,156
你不是连我也不信吧

1453
01:40:17,220 --> 01:40:20,371
有没有动过情 你还没回答我

1454
01:40:21,141 --> 01:40:24,042
当然没有了 你这么问是多余的

1455
01:40:24,144 --> 01:40:25,668
你真觉得我会说有吗

1456
01:40:25,770 --> 01:40:27,214
为什么你们老是要这样问

1457
01:40:27,313 --> 01:40:29,463
那就是有了 贱人

1458
01:40:29,733 --> 01:40:30,802
贱人

1459
01:40:39,117 --> 01:40:41,017
这样不是办法 先拿回金刚箍

1460
01:40:41,119 --> 01:40:42,563
免得再给她追问

1461
01:40:43,955 --> 01:40:45,183
你干嘛

1462
01:40:45,582 --> 01:40:46,651
把箍还给我

1463
01:40:46,750 --> 01:40:48,604
你给了我 就是我的了

1464
01:40:48,710 --> 01:40:50,985
不合适你 你戴得好难看

1465
01:40:51,087 --> 01:40:52,907
你早说 我就还给你

1466
01:40:53,006 --> 01:40:54,530
那你给啊 你还走

1467
01:40:54,632 --> 01:40:56,532
说了给你 是不是不信我

1468
01:40:56,634 --> 01:40:58,283
你不要再说了 你给我吧

1469
01:40:58,386 --> 01:40:59,239
我还没给你吗

1470
01:40:59,345 --> 01:41:01,245
你没给 只是嘴上说给我

1471
01:41:01,347 --> 01:41:02,746
是啊 我说了给你的

1472
01:41:02,849 --> 01:41:05,249
对啊 你只是一直说但从来没给我

1473
01:41:05,351 --> 01:41:06,830
有这样的事 不是吧

1474
01:41:06,936 --> 01:41:08,540
是真的 你信我一次好不好

1475
01:41:08,646 --> 01:41:09,169
我不信

1476
01:47:57,889 --> 01:47:58,708
走吧

1477
01:47:58,806 --> 01:48:00,660
等等 还有彩蛋看

1478
01:48:00,766 --> 01:48:02,745
没有彩蛋啊 不要等啦

1479
01:48:02,852 --> 01:48:04,422
请带齐随身物品

1480
01:48:04,520 --> 01:48:06,590
多谢大家 出口在那边

1481
01:48:07,106 --> 01:48:09,461
大片一定有彩蛋的

1482
01:48:09,567 --> 01:48:11,171
不是大片

1483
01:48:11,277 --> 01:48:12,756
所以没有彩蛋

1484
01:48:14,238 --> 01:48:15,512
我再重复一次

1485
01:48:15,615 --> 01:48:16,968
不是大片

1486
01:48:17,283 --> 01:48:18,682
没有彩蛋

1487
01:48:19,535 --> 01:48:21,105
如果是大片

1488
01:48:21,829 --> 01:48:23,103
又怎会没有彩蛋呢