1
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:35,725
是人嗎

2
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:36,977
這麼小

3
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:41,610
你們捅我腳心幹嘛

4
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:45,190
唐僧唐僧 這邊這邊

5
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:45,944
唐僧

6
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,241
這邊啊

7
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,361
看你睡了這麼久 就叫醒你

8
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,872
現在你醒了就好了

9
00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:54,874
我們有好消息

10
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:57,205
對不起

11
00:00:58,517 --> 00:00:59,370
對不起

12
00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:00,501
對不起

13
00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:04,004
唐僧 我們有個天大的好消息

14
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:06,802
要告訴你 恭喜你

15
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,220
你終於來到

16
00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,015
你夢寐以求的目的地了

17
00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:12,057
這裏是天竺嗎

18
00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,600
沒錯

19
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:15,560
天竺

20
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,515
我終於來到目的地了

21
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,808
對不起

22
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,613
師父

23
00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,698
你也這麼小

24
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,746
師父 你怎麼也在天竺

25
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:45,087
玄奘 你果然不負眾望

26
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,759
你要的那二十二本經書

27
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:50,384
已經為你準備好 放在那十輛馬車上

28
00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:51,888
你喜歡就拿去

29
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,966
千萬不要客氣

30
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,057
不過我今天來的主要目的

31
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,146
是想頒個獎給你

32
00:01:59,245 --> 00:02:00,223
什麼獎 師父

33
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,391
終身成就獎

34
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,741
試一下

35
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:17,831
怎麼好意思呢

36
00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,494
我好喜歡

37
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,204
你想低調還是氣派

38
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,039
可以自己控制

39
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,380
左邊有光出來了 你適應得很快

40
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,713
你看 右邊也亮了 真不得了

41
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,719
快說兩句獲獎感言

42
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,174
好 我想想

43
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,394
師父

44
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:40,721
什麼事

45
00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,519
好玩吧

46
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:07,085
和尚 你再掙不到錢

47
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,291
班主要趕你走了

48
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,380
我知道了

49
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:16,932
盲人飛刀 獨臂倒立 胸口碎石

50
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:20,387
走過路過 千萬不要錯過

51
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:30,362
西遊路上應急客串

52
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:32,902
豬 魚 猴

53
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,326
精彩表演

54
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:39,455
優惠期兩文錢一位

55
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,327
半價 幫你開張

56
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,874
買一送一

57
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,331
好吧 就這樣

58
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,536
謝謝

59
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,913
過來看看吧

60
00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,297
天蓬元帥 豬八戒

61
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:53,469
女人

62
00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,633
你叫什麼名字 今年幾歲

63
00:03:58,739 --> 00:03:59,933
神經病

64
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,348
捲簾大將

65
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:03,645
流沙河大魚怪 沙悟淨

66
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,323
嚇到小孩子了 你真缺德

67
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:19,612
退錢

68
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,114
退錢

69
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,825
你還要賠償我的損失

70
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,373
賠錢

71
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,172
你再給我一次機會

72
00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,090
我還有好東西

73
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,132
滿意就扯平

74
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:33,967
不滿意的話

75
00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:36,045
這裏所有人都得賠雙倍

76
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,555
好

77
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:42,176
美猴王齊天大聖

78
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,268
假的 賠錢

79
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,605
悟空 你翻兩個跟斗吧

80
00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,532
全場賠雙倍我們就掛了

81
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,503
多謝施捨

82
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:11,956
這些都是可以吃的

83
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:14,045
先撿起來

84
00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:16,839
班主 這個人裝神弄鬼

85
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:19,797
看他樣子肯定賠不起 趕他走吧

86
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,098
你怎麼出來走江湖的 滾

87
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,559
施主 我們不是走江湖的

88
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,022
是出家人

89
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,567
因為一路長途跋涉 又沒有吃的

90
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,564
再加上我有病

91
00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,313
在身

92
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,991
已經很多天沒吃東西了

93
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:41,156
那麼可憐 來

94
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,409
這兩個包

95
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:45,656
是用來給那些

96
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,742
真正值得幫助的正義之士

97
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,247
你覺得自己配嗎

98
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,291
我們真的是來自東土大唐的

99
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,247
驅魔團隊啊

100
00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:57,669
悟空 你露兩手給大家看看

101
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:14,901
打我

102
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,070
打我

103
00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:18,613
不太好吧 大師兄

104
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,196
打你 我不就是自殺

105
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,493
那我打你吧

106
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,863
我更加不建議啊 大師兄

107
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,123
死就死吧 我打你

108
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:34,037
大師兄你好硬啊

109
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,339
我整條手臂都被你震斷了

110
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,838
小子 你們還要不要臉啊

111
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:40,711
請你看下去再說

112
00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,342
也請你不要再捅我

113
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,263
我就捅

114
00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:49,103
打我 師父說表演

115
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,480
好餓啊 沒力氣

116
00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,224
再捅

117
00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,227
你這個混蛋 餓就不用幹活嗎

118
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,691
打我 混蛋

119
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,404
聽說有一夥假裝驅魔人的賊

120
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:02,108
坑蒙拐騙 還打傷了很多人

121
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,363
肯定是你吧 老弟

122
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,118
是小弟做的

123
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:08,163
只是我的徒弟 用力過度誤傷無辜

124
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,162
臭不要臉的 你吹牛吹大點

125
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:25,176
露一手就夠了

126
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,761
謝幕吧

127
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,014
可以收隊了

128
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,984
真的好性感啊

129
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:39,652
我來幫你去去火

130
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,697
救命啊

131
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,734
悟空 你還趴著幹嗎

132
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,239
快把它搞定

133
00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,814
不好意思 我們真的已經收隊了

134
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,521
剛才那幾下是送的

135
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:22,571
兄台

136
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:26,025
你一舉手一投足都光芒四射

137
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,907
什麼話也不說了 你拿著這串葫蘆

138
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,362
咱們以後就是兄弟了

139
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,958
你誤會了 他們力氣有多大你都看見了

140
00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,910
就是經常控制不了

141
00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,547
其實我們真的是幫人驅魔的

142
00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:40,418
當然 當然

143
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,005
悟空 收拾好就過來道歉

144
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,640
把箍撿起來

145
00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:58,857
戴好

146
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,273
戴正

147
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,612
在戴了

148
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,324
咬著樹枝說話很酷嗎 臭猴子

149
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,446
你不喜歡就不咬吧

150
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,626
不要叫我臭猴子行不行

151
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,454
我叫又怎樣 臭猴子

152
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,209
臭猴子

153
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:22,585
臭猴子

154
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:23,962
你牛

155
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:27,010
你有種就再說一次

156
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,470
我好害怕啊

157
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,639
真的好恐怖 想嚇死人嗎

158
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,261
你們怕不怕啊

159
00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,234
罵他兩句就發脾氣

160
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,981
這種人慣不得

161
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,858
我們一起大聲罵他

162
00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,940
一 二 三

163
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:50,742
臭猴子

164
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:56,998
（孩子 孩子）

165
00:09:57,097 --> 00:10:00,294
（為何你這麼壞）

166
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,579
（欺負 欺騙）

167
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:06,008
（為何你做出來）

168
00:10:06,148 --> 00:10:08,218
（學會做好小孩）

169
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:10,671
（相親相愛）

170
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:14,383
（關懷就在心中）

171
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,343
（充滿色彩）

172
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,680
（乖乖）

173
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,275
（你快回來）

174
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,527
（我懷抱）

175
00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,695
（乖乖）

176
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:33,869
（要真心悔改）

177
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:38,290
（原來人性都是善良像小）

178
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:52,129
老闆 我們做小生意的

179
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:54,886
連內褲都翻出來也就那麼多

180
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:57,350
如果你還嫌不夠的話

181
00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,770
我們全家就只能死在你面前

182
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,142
打住

183
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:05,104
第一我不是來勒索的

184
00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:06,606
第二

185
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,071
我也沒話可說了

186
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:12,343
《西遊伏妖篇》

187
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,731
令壽堂什麼時候開始

188
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:26,932
變成這樣的

189
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,646
都好幾天了

190
00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,148
不知道為什麼

191
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,979
自從我們搬進來之後

192
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,438
她就開始胡言亂語

193
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,158
一靠近

194
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:41,038
就發瘋地抓我 連我也認不出來

195
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:43,828
我也不知道她為什麼會變成這樣

196
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,125
我都已經心力交瘁了

197
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,370
還好有我兩個女兒

198
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,497
幫我照顧娘親

199
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,543
真是辛苦她們了

200
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:56,845
她們是你女兒

201
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,262
乾女兒

202
00:12:58,737 --> 00:12:59,715
今年幾歲啊

203
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:00,845
剛滿十六歲

204
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,552
看上去有些憔悴

205
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:06,141
最近太忙才變成這樣

206
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,723
她們本來是很標緻的

207
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,308
這麼可怕

208
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:12,190
婆婆 你先吃口粥吧

209
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,113
你一整天沒吃飯了

210
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:16,983
又來了

211
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:20,990
娘親 你怎麼了

212
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:24,197
娘親 娘親

213
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,076
娘親 是我 你冷靜點

214
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,540
照妖鏡 快點

215
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:34,375
來了

216
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,425
萬神朝禮使雷霆

217
00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,550
妖魔鬼怪無遁形

218
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,055
現形

219
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:47,638
妖魔鬼怪無遁形

220
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,563
難道沒有妖怪

221
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:59,821
可是我聞到整個房子都是屍臭味

222
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,444
一定有妖怪 如果不是她

223
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:05,159
那可能是她有陰陽眼

224
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,832
她看到別人是妖怪

225
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:09,743
就嚇成這個鬼樣

226
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,829
難道是 她兩個女兒

227
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,252
她們倆我忍了好久

228
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,383
妖魔鬼怪無所遁形

229
00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:26,552
你照得我們眼睛都睜不開了

230
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,394
也不是她們

231
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,891
難道

232
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,319
大閘蟹

233
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,963
你這隻臭猴子

234
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,296
臭猴子

235
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:09,394
臭猴子

236
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,058
你看

237
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,523
師父的藤條今天真的很厲害

238
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,985
這藤條曾經困了大師兄五百年

239
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,691
很厲害的

240
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,457
你明知他們倆是變態的

241
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,380
你為什麼不喝止他們

242
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,087
你叫我表演

243
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,262
我就表演了

244
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,680
表什麼演

245
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:46,965
我讓你這麼演嗎

246
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,676
你又搞得人家破人亡

247
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,219
那你就不要叫我臭猴子

248
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,773
你明知我一聽見臭猴子就發火

249
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,605
師父叫你臭猴子是無心之失

250
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,106
誰都知道我是無心的

251
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,904
這點小事你就想要我的命

252
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:01,696
太絕情了吧

253
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,191
要我的命嗎 張大嘴巴

254
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:08,783
再張大點 你不是想要我的命嗎

255
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:15,414
我現在就把命給你

256
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,792
咬下來 不咬就是混蛋

257
00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:21,124
來 有戲看

258
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:22,588
咬啊

259
00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:23,760
來啊

260
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:29,591
你為什麼要這樣對我

261
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,095
說啊 為什麼不說話

262
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,228
你為什麼不斷地

263
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,602
欺騙我 刺激我

264
00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:40,277
傷害我 折磨我 虐待我

265
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,773
看來我們這個驅魔團隊

266
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:48,902
不該留在世上了

267
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,497
不如解散吧

268
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,124
解散

269
00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,629
解散的意思是不是要咔嚓我們

270
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:00,706
師父

271
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:06,257
徒弟明白師父的一片苦心

272
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,884
你還是先喝藥吧 身子要緊

273
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,342
徒弟以後再也不敢了

274
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:16,555
你說什麼 又不是罰你

275
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,813
師父 你該知道

276
00:17:21,666 --> 00:17:24,317
我們師兄弟們是心連心的

277
00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,195
你打在大師兄身上就痛在我心

278
00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,070
現在我的心

279
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,073
真是痛得不得了

280
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,457
真的是心連心

281
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,250
我打你 我的心

282
00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:38,326
真的痛得不得了

283
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,912
師父 不信你試一試

284
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,340
師父打你們

285
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,503
心何嘗不是痛得不得了

286
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,221
如果我一個人去取經

287
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,719
早就到了

288
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:53,933
根本都不用你們

289
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:56,478
不是說笑 師父一個打一百幾十個

290
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,554
是很平常的

291
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,638
難道要告訴你嗎

292
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:02,146
師父的如來神掌多厲害

293
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,727
難道又要大聲告訴你

294
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,698
所以現在不是你們幫師父去取經

295
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,692
而是師父幫你們幾個孫子去積善修佛

296
00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,869
我今天說得那麼清楚

297
00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,320
你們明白了吧

298
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,947
明白明白

299
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,378
不早了 不早了

300
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:24,877
明天還要趕路 睡吧睡吧

301
00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:37,389
孽猴

302
00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:40,438
看我如來神掌

303
00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:19,970
有沒有想我

304
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:24,307
師父現在連大師兄都不放過

305
00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:25,767
境界比我高好幾級

306
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:29,195
師父抱的不是大師兄

307
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:31,276
是另外一個人

308
00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:45,628
阿彌陀佛 阿彌陀佛

309
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,797
師父昨晚好開心

310
00:19:48,479 --> 00:19:50,549
我們也替你開心

311
00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:52,919
我們不會說出去的

312
00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,548
你一大早的說什麼

313
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:56,927
水喝光了

314
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,679
二師兄 快去打水

315
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,220
你為何覺得水喝光了就要我去打呢

316
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:02,304
你這個構思是

317
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:03,513
如何產生的呢

318
00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,599
別吵了 我去吧

319
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,493
施主 不好意思

320
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:21,493
貧僧剛好路過

321
00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,575
想要點水 做個飯

322
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,915
何必這麼麻煩

323
00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,039
進來吃個飯就好了

324
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,840
但我是吃齋的

325
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,675
那麼巧

326
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,675
我們今天正好吃齋

327
00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,718
大家都是修道之人

328
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,640
一起吃個便飯有什麼關係

329
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,348
不如這樣 吃完後留下來

330
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,438
我們互相交流一下佛學

331
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:49,643
病成這樣 還能吃嗎

332
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,946
可以的 治好了再吃

333
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,069
那我就恭敬不如從命了

334
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:58,276
不用煮了 過來吃飯吧

335
00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:00,119
我煮好的粥

336
00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:01,992
現在怎麼辦

337
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,370
你的粥快糊了

338
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,202
快點去看火吧

339
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:33,778
施主 這藥果然有效

340
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,901
貧僧一喝就好了

341
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,362
他們是我的三個劣徒

342
00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,469
你好

343
00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:04,183
你好嗎

344
00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:06,102
你好

345
00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:08,688
你好你好

346
00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:13,188
要這麼帥嗎

347
00:22:15,293 --> 00:22:17,363
你好

348
00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:19,566
好什麼好 有這麼好嗎

349
00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:21,860
悟淨 你做什麼

350
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:23,657
我的粥都煮好了

351
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,284
你們是什麼意思

352
00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:26,489
還好好好好好

353
00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:28,325
我完全不明白

354
00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:30,998
不好意思 我這個徒弟智力有點問題

355
00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:32,416
不要緊

356
00:22:32,518 --> 00:22:33,997
請問施主

357
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:36,082
你們這裏有沒有妖怪

358
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:38,502
大師 你不要嚇我

359
00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:39,927
我們這裏怎麼會有妖怪呢

360
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:41,717
你也太誇張了吧

361
00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,049
大師問這個做什麼

362
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:47,635
是這樣的

363
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:49,687
我們是驅魔人

364
00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:52,515
真的嗎 為什麼

365
00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:54,351
承蒙施主盛情款待

366
00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:55,856
貧僧無以為報

367
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:58,188
特送免費驅魔服務一次

368
00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:01,650
真的嗎 為什麼 你好厲害

369
00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:03,868
不過可惜了

370
00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:05,866
我們這裏沒有妖怪

371
00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:10,120
我們不要拐彎抹角了

372
00:23:10,723 --> 00:23:11,417
打我

373
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:14,412
快點

374
00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:17,170
不是我打死你 就是你打死我

375
00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:19,334
真的嗎

376
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,964
為什麼

377
00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:28,552
我叫你打我 混蛋

378
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,561
你聽不聽得到

379
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:34,349
快點打我 你這個混蛋

380
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,191
你又做什麼

381
00:23:39,293 --> 00:23:40,692
我不是混蛋

382
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,941
你當然是混蛋

383
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:45,026
不過我剛才是說她 混蛋

384
00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:46,532
頂你個肺

385
00:23:46,843 --> 00:23:48,447
你們兩個混蛋還當我是師父嗎

386
00:23:48,553 --> 00:23:49,247
給我滾出去

387
00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:51,415
出去出去出去

388
00:23:52,014 --> 00:23:52,742
失禮失禮

389
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:55,460
滾出去

390
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,334
人家盛情款待我們

391
00:23:57,895 --> 00:24:00,750
你們又拍桌子 又叫人家打你

392
00:24:00,857 --> 00:24:02,051
還罵人家混蛋

393
00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,879
全部給我面壁思過

394
00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:04,758
反省一下

395
00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:07,466
自己一生中對社會有什麼貢獻

396
00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:10,348
沒想明白就不得有任何動作

397
00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:22,655
你們回來

398
00:24:23,087 --> 00:24:24,531
師父 我們還沒想明白

399
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:25,858
還有什麼可想

400
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:26,985
回來

401
00:24:27,508 --> 00:24:29,738
不行 我還沒反省呢

402
00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:31,493
反什麼反 出人命了

403
00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:05,315
耙

404
00:25:09,717 --> 00:25:10,695
起

405
00:25:10,801 --> 00:25:11,779
起

406
00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:13,748
起

407
00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:20,671
可以停了 可以停了

408
00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:49,196
師父 到你出手了

409
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,119
對我那麼好

410
00:26:12,154 --> 00:26:13,098
美女

411
00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:15,593
有前有後 腿又長

412
00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,099
你幹嘛 好漂亮

413
00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:25,315
我是蜘蛛

414
00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:27,318
你不是吧

415
00:26:29,005 --> 00:26:30,199
我也是隻豬

416
00:26:30,798 --> 00:26:31,696
沒有問題

417
00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:41,126
你越反抗 我越強壯

418
00:26:46,355 --> 00:26:48,300
別走 我叫你啊

419
00:27:57,426 --> 00:27:58,654
什麼聲音

420
00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:00,664
沒事 是三師弟

421
00:28:01,305 --> 00:28:03,284
悟淨 你沒事吧

422
00:28:04,642 --> 00:28:06,872
我中了毒 有點暈

423
00:28:12,566 --> 00:28:15,717
看來師父是沒辦法不出手了

424
00:28:15,820 --> 00:28:18,425
降魔伏妖靠的是真誠

425
00:28:18,531 --> 00:28:20,135
渡妖向善

426
00:28:20,241 --> 00:28:22,220
不一定要打打殺殺的

427
00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:29,940
放下屠刀 立地成佛

428
00:29:04,702 --> 00:29:06,101
且慢

429
00:29:06,704 --> 00:29:08,023
悟空

430
00:29:08,497 --> 00:29:09,850
你不要那麼粗魯

431
00:29:09,957 --> 00:29:11,436
力氣那麼大 不如去挑泥吧

432
00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:12,270
走開

433
00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:13,776
等我來

434
00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:22,739
師兄 你手輕一點

435
00:29:22,887 --> 00:29:24,582
這位姑娘跟我較量過

436
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,705
她有前有後 腳又長

437
00:29:26,807 --> 00:29:27,876
真是可遇不可求

438
00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:28,578
閉嘴

439
00:29:31,812 --> 00:29:33,256
放

440
00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:03,697
師父 搞定了

441
00:30:05,888 --> 00:30:07,116
你說什麼

442
00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:09,660
我都沒表演 你就買單了

443
00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:11,041
你居心何在啊

444
00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:14,128
這是什麼話 你知道剛才有多危險嗎

445
00:30:14,438 --> 00:30:16,542
它差一點把你吞下去

446
00:30:16,649 --> 00:30:18,219
幸好你徒弟我的手夠快

447
00:30:18,317 --> 00:30:19,261
一拳就把它打爆了

448
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,464
我不是跟你說過很多次了

449
00:30:21,570 --> 00:30:23,174
降魔伏妖是要靠感化

450
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,350
剛才你沒看到人家是帶著微笑的嗎

451
00:30:26,367 --> 00:30:27,641
微笑

452
00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:29,347
它帶著微笑是要吃你啊 師父

453
00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:30,890
你太離譜了

454
00:30:30,996 --> 00:30:33,226
人家笑得多真誠

455
00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:36,941
我笑得更真誠

456
00:30:37,044 --> 00:30:38,272
你猜我是愛你呢

457
00:30:38,379 --> 00:30:39,949
還是要殺你呢

458
00:30:47,513 --> 00:30:48,411
你找哪位

459
00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:50,118
我有什麼可以幫你嗎

460
00:31:05,322 --> 00:31:07,051
你快看看他有多帥

461
00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:09,645
你現在差點就比我帥了

462
00:31:09,827 --> 00:31:11,397
你自己能知道

463
00:31:12,246 --> 00:31:13,941
我知道 你不爽嘛

464
00:31:14,081 --> 00:31:14,729
是不是啊

465
00:31:14,832 --> 00:31:16,811
我當然不爽 你爽嗎

466
00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:19,738
別吵 你看死禿驢在那邊搞什麼

467
00:31:19,837 --> 00:31:20,940
他在想事情

468
00:31:21,046 --> 00:31:22,070
想什麼

469
00:31:22,172 --> 00:31:23,525
段小姐

470
00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:34,037
我管他想誰 關我屁事

471
00:31:35,185 --> 00:31:37,961
死禿驢動不動喊打喊殺我都算了

472
00:31:38,063 --> 00:31:39,633
最近還踩了我的底線

473
00:31:39,773 --> 00:31:42,799
晚上在我背後掃來掃去

474
00:31:42,902 --> 00:31:45,473
還說想我 又說不要離開我

475
00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:47,926
我那麼囂張 都覺得很尷尬

476
00:31:48,032 --> 00:31:49,806
聽你這麼說 這不是辦法

477
00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:51,388
不如殺了他吧

478
00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:54,227
算了吧

479
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,152
死禿驢一唱歌你就只能跳舞

480
00:31:58,626 --> 00:31:59,729
拿他沒辦法

481
00:31:59,835 --> 00:32:01,359
那我把他的舌頭拉出來

482
00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:02,360
打個結

483
00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:04,658
再塞回去 看他怎麼唱

484
00:32:05,299 --> 00:32:08,075
他還有一招如來神掌

485
00:32:08,385 --> 00:32:09,363
我才不怕呢

486
00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:11,449
把他的手打斷 斷成這樣

487
00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,284
我看他還如什麼來神什麼掌

488
00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:22,384
師父 你站在這裏多久了

489
00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:25,087
剛剛而已

490
00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:26,673
我來看看你們搞什麼

491
00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:28,633
放心 我什麼都沒聽見

492
00:32:31,075 --> 00:32:32,178
師父

493
00:32:32,785 --> 00:32:34,059
你失聲了嗎

494
00:32:34,161 --> 00:32:35,935
沒有這樣的事

495
00:32:36,038 --> 00:32:36,982
荒山野嶺

496
00:32:37,748 --> 00:32:40,854
那麼大聲說話 吵到別人就不好了

497
00:32:41,669 --> 00:32:42,488
原來是這樣

498
00:32:42,586 --> 00:32:43,735
當然

499
00:32:43,837 --> 00:32:46,658
師父何時有騙過你們

500
00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:50,447
你們繼續 師父先去方便一下

501
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:09,764
佛祖啊佛祖

502
00:33:09,863 --> 00:33:11,967
我這三個徒弟頑劣成性

503
00:33:12,074 --> 00:33:13,678
弟子玄奘管教無方

504
00:33:14,076 --> 00:33:15,725
除了兒歌三百首之外

505
00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:16,977
就什麼都不會

506
00:33:17,079 --> 00:33:19,900
一路以來虛張聲勢 裝模作樣

507
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,315
真是撐得好辛苦

508
00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:24,568
現在徒弟們已經對我起了殺心

509
00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:26,900
而我又失聲唱不了歌

510
00:33:27,089 --> 00:33:28,943
祈求佛祖你大發慈悲

511
00:33:29,133 --> 00:33:32,159
賜我那一招如來神掌防身

512
00:33:32,261 --> 00:33:34,786
弟子必定感激不盡

513
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,626
我求求你 求求你

514
00:33:44,231 --> 00:33:46,381
佛祖 你聽不聽得到啊

515
00:33:46,817 --> 00:33:49,342
給我丁點兒提示好嗎

516
00:33:49,737 --> 00:33:51,967
隨便放個屁也好

517
00:34:00,789 --> 00:34:03,986
八戒 你站在這裏多久了

518
00:34:04,084 --> 00:34:06,780
我剛來到這裏 你不叫我都沒看見你

519
00:34:06,879 --> 00:34:08,608
放心 我什麼都沒聽到

520
00:34:12,009 --> 00:34:13,613
師父對你那麼好

521
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,789
你知道該怎麼做吧

522
00:34:16,972 --> 00:34:18,416
什麼叫該怎麼做

523
00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:20,369
我就做我自己

524
00:34:20,851 --> 00:34:22,705
師父的意思是

525
00:34:22,811 --> 00:34:25,791
禍從口出 沉默是金

526
00:34:26,148 --> 00:34:28,878
師父 我放了個屁而已

527
00:34:28,984 --> 00:34:30,804
你又恐嚇又勒索的

528
00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:33,428
徒弟壓力真的好大啊

529
00:34:34,615 --> 00:34:36,389
玩這套

530
00:34:36,909 --> 00:34:38,558
那你自己看著辦吧

531
00:34:38,660 --> 00:34:40,059
我知道你住在哪裏的

532
00:34:40,162 --> 00:34:41,265
當然當然

533
00:34:52,716 --> 00:34:54,115
悟空 你在幹嘛

534
00:34:57,971 --> 00:34:59,825
你自己看著辦啦

535
00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:01,626
我想領教一下

536
00:35:01,725 --> 00:35:03,920
師父的如來神掌

537
00:35:04,478 --> 00:35:06,628
你做什麼 你說什麼

538
00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:08,755
聽不見嗎

539
00:35:09,233 --> 00:35:12,464
我說 我想跟師父你切磋武功

540
00:35:17,366 --> 00:35:18,810
跑

541
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:36,661
（孩子 孩子）

542
00:35:36,927 --> 00:35:40,283
（為何你這麼壞）

543
00:35:40,556 --> 00:35:41,955
（欺負 欺騙）

544
00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:44,082
（為何你做出來）

545
00:35:45,644 --> 00:35:47,214
（學會做好小孩）

546
00:35:47,396 --> 00:35:49,091
（相親相愛）

547
00:35:50,107 --> 00:35:51,176
（關懷就在心中）

548
00:35:51,275 --> 00:35:53,505
死禿驢 有種你別唱

549
00:35:53,610 --> 00:35:55,089
跟我單挑

550
00:35:55,946 --> 00:35:58,426
（乖乖）

551
00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,622
師父 看你還能跑到哪

552
00:36:24,975 --> 00:36:27,330
好 既然你

553
00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:30,504
真的要 為師就成全你

554
00:36:31,565 --> 00:36:33,795
那我來了 你站穩了

555
00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:35,512
等等 我先補個妝

556
00:36:55,047 --> 00:36:56,867
我就是跟師父你玩一下

557
00:36:56,965 --> 00:37:00,037
做做運動出身汗 舒服

558
00:37:04,223 --> 00:37:05,451
嚇死我了

559
00:37:24,284 --> 00:37:25,763
你又想怎樣啊

560
00:37:25,953 --> 00:37:27,147
我做了什麼

561
00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:29,476
你現在真的帥得不得了

562
00:37:29,581 --> 00:37:30,650
真的嗎

563
00:37:31,917 --> 00:37:33,441
騙你是孫子

564
00:37:38,465 --> 00:37:39,284
怎麼樣

565
00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:41,203
死禿驢是不是給你打得七竅流血

566
00:37:41,301 --> 00:37:43,155
斷手斷腳抽筋扒皮了

567
00:37:45,681 --> 00:37:48,081
不是吧 你真的殺了他

568
00:37:49,268 --> 00:37:50,997
你耍我

569
00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:14,316
八戒 你現在知道什麼是禍從口出了嗎

570
00:38:14,418 --> 00:38:16,568
知道了

571
00:38:26,430 --> 00:38:29,251
中毒你就牛掰了 我還得拉你

572
00:38:44,156 --> 00:38:45,680
你噴完了沒有

573
00:38:45,866 --> 00:38:48,517
我著涼了 流鼻涕啊

574
00:38:51,788 --> 00:38:54,860
你著什麼涼 你乾脆死了就一了百了

575
00:38:55,125 --> 00:38:56,194
不要害人了

576
00:38:58,128 --> 00:38:58,981
悟空

577
00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:02,410
你說沙僧什麼時候會變回人形呢

578
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,496
不知道 我完全沒有在意

579
00:39:06,595 --> 00:39:07,664
師父 你很想知道嗎

580
00:39:07,763 --> 00:39:08,536
我

581
00:39:08,638 --> 00:39:09,866
不想

582
00:40:01,608 --> 00:40:04,008
九宮真人到

583
00:40:05,112 --> 00:40:07,512
國師好

584
00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:25,530
三藏法師不愧是大唐高僧

585
00:40:25,632 --> 00:40:27,236
風采超然

586
00:40:28,218 --> 00:40:31,995
九宮真人心悅誠服

587
00:40:46,862 --> 00:40:47,886
幸會幸會

588
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,180
請問國師怎麼知道我的來歷的

589
00:40:50,282 --> 00:40:52,227
貧僧實在是受寵若

590
00:40:53,410 --> 00:40:55,310
若驚 受寵若驚

591
00:40:55,412 --> 00:40:57,687
久聞三藏法師盛名

592
00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,064
還有另外三位高徒也是

593
00:41:00,625 --> 00:41:02,195
正氣凜然

594
00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:03,989
得知你們師徒四人

595
00:41:04,296 --> 00:41:05,866
途經此地

596
00:41:05,964 --> 00:41:09,240
國王特派本宮在此等候多時

597
00:41:09,759 --> 00:41:11,863
不如我們一起回宮

598
00:41:15,432 --> 00:41:17,036
聊聊天吧

599
00:41:22,314 --> 00:41:23,758
好戲法

600
00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:28,005
見笑了 請

601
00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:34,185
不要亂搞

602
00:41:34,284 --> 00:41:36,809
沒有啊 什麼都沒搞

603
00:41:36,912 --> 00:41:38,106
真是的

604
00:41:45,754 --> 00:41:47,153
花開

605
00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:48,574
變

606
00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:52,613
真人

607
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,994
有個問題困擾了我好一陣子

608
00:41:55,805 --> 00:41:57,033
你的法術

609
00:41:57,307 --> 00:41:59,207
是故意做得那麼假嗎

610
00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:03,378
法師 你我乃同道中人

611
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,755
都知這世間法術怎會有真

612
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:09,759
所以真真假假 又何必在意

613
00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:11,180
請吧

614
00:42:16,785 --> 00:42:19,310
修法不同於變戲法

615
00:42:19,412 --> 00:42:20,891
最重要的

616
00:42:21,289 --> 00:42:22,358
是內心

617
00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:23,814
法師

618
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:27,530
你有點放不開

619
00:42:28,213 --> 00:42:29,908
是不是有心事呢

620
00:42:30,590 --> 00:42:34,697
法師的心裏 有一個人朝思暮想

621
00:42:34,803 --> 00:42:37,124
念念不忘

622
00:42:38,557 --> 00:42:40,286
沒 沒 沒這樣的事

623
00:42:40,392 --> 00:42:41,541
做人呢

624
00:42:41,643 --> 00:42:43,167
跟修法一樣

625
00:42:43,270 --> 00:42:48,424
講究的是隨心隨性 才可以青春常駐

626
00:42:49,276 --> 00:42:52,427
一個人若是不忠於自己的內心

627
00:42:52,529 --> 00:42:54,554
那就是偽善

628
00:42:54,656 --> 00:42:57,932
所以本宮修的隨心隨性大法

629
00:42:58,159 --> 00:42:59,979
就是這個意思

630
00:43:01,705 --> 00:43:04,811
隨心隨性大法就是

631
00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:07,730
就是想幹嘛就幹嘛

632
00:43:19,723 --> 00:43:21,202
他們跪在這裏幹嘛

633
00:43:21,308 --> 00:43:24,664
玩遊戲 輸了要罰跪

634
00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:27,590
國王最近吃了返老還童丹

635
00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:29,293
心智就變成了小孩子

636
00:43:29,983 --> 00:43:33,384
正符合我要宣揚的隨心隨性大法

637
00:43:34,863 --> 00:43:37,559
這個國王很好哄的

638
00:43:37,741 --> 00:43:40,096
你拍他馬屁 就重重有賞

639
00:43:41,578 --> 00:43:44,558
到時不要忘記分我一份

640
00:43:44,664 --> 00:43:46,985
一人一半你沒有問題吧

641
00:43:48,710 --> 00:43:49,313
這

642
00:43:49,419 --> 00:43:51,694
我開玩笑的 你不會當真吧

643
00:43:54,215 --> 00:43:56,285
美女和你們打招呼

644
00:43:57,469 --> 00:44:00,791
好玩 我欣賞

645
00:44:07,771 --> 00:44:08,749
皇上

646
00:44:08,980 --> 00:44:10,424
貴賓到了

647
00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:11,501
貧僧三藏

648
00:44:11,608 --> 00:44:12,586
途經貴國

649
00:44:12,692 --> 00:44:15,047
特帶三個劣徒來拜見國王

650
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,550
抱抱

651
00:44:22,369 --> 00:44:23,518
好

652
00:44:25,413 --> 00:44:27,142
這個國王好像比師父還傻

653
00:44:27,248 --> 00:44:28,351
你亂說

654
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:31,188
沒人會傻得過師父 神經病

655
00:44:36,216 --> 00:44:37,660
抱抱

656
00:44:37,884 --> 00:44:41,035
國王用終極大禮迎接你 回禮吧

657
00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:45,369
來不及了 擺架子

658
00:44:46,768 --> 00:44:48,167
這邊

659
00:44:55,652 --> 00:44:57,176
聽說你是驅魔人

660
00:44:57,278 --> 00:44:59,132
沒錯 在下正是

661
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,844
我不信 耍兩下露兩手

662
00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:05,437
我想皇上可能搞錯了

663
00:45:05,537 --> 00:45:07,641
驅魔不是耍雜技

664
00:45:07,831 --> 00:45:10,982
我叫你做什麼 就做什麼

665
00:45:11,084 --> 00:45:13,109
我叫你說什麼就說什麼

666
00:45:13,211 --> 00:45:14,485
你不照我說的做

667
00:45:14,587 --> 00:45:16,441
就是不給面子

668
00:45:16,715 --> 00:45:18,114
我現在就砍你的頭下來

669
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:19,695
掛在大門口

670
00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:22,705
這個國王有些想法

671
00:45:22,804 --> 00:45:23,828
我支持他

672
00:45:23,930 --> 00:45:24,533
來人

673
00:45:25,014 --> 00:45:25,617
砍他

674
00:45:27,225 --> 00:45:28,999
沒事沒事

675
00:45:31,271 --> 00:45:32,420
是嗎 真的沒事嗎

676
00:45:32,522 --> 00:45:33,671
開玩笑的

677
00:45:33,773 --> 00:45:35,252
原來是這樣

678
00:45:35,358 --> 00:45:37,258
不太像開玩笑

679
00:45:37,444 --> 00:45:38,547
不像嗎

680
00:45:41,239 --> 00:45:42,012
皇上皇上

681
00:45:42,115 --> 00:45:44,185
我想起來了 沒理由不耍兩下的

682
00:45:44,492 --> 00:45:47,347
悟空快露兩手 給皇上欣賞一下

683
00:45:48,371 --> 00:45:50,771
找個隨從來應酬我

684
00:45:50,874 --> 00:45:52,569
就是更瞧不起我

685
00:45:52,667 --> 00:45:53,770
砍死他

686
00:45:54,002 --> 00:45:56,106
皇上 這兩下我耍定了

687
00:45:56,212 --> 00:45:58,032
不要勸我 我一定要

688
00:45:58,339 --> 00:46:00,990
我隨便補補妝馬上就來

689
00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:03,951
那快點吧

690
00:46:04,179 --> 00:46:06,784
法師 你真的要耍兩下嗎

691
00:46:07,182 --> 00:46:09,377
我可以不耍嗎

692
00:46:17,984 --> 00:46:19,258
卡住了

693
00:46:20,737 --> 00:46:21,465
現在怎麼辦

694
00:46:21,571 --> 00:46:24,472
沒什麼大不了 就出如來神掌

695
00:46:24,574 --> 00:46:26,644
你以為如來神掌隨便出的嗎

696
00:46:27,410 --> 00:46:28,604
不如我變成師父的樣子

697
00:46:28,703 --> 00:46:30,147
出去表演給國王看不就行了

698
00:46:30,580 --> 00:46:33,481
你就吹吧 你想出去強姦宮女而已

699
00:46:33,583 --> 00:46:34,982
有種你就去吧

700
00:46:38,755 --> 00:46:40,029
剪刀 石頭 布

701
00:46:40,131 --> 00:46:41,359
剪刀 石頭 布

702
00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:44,700
我有辦法了

703
00:46:44,886 --> 00:46:45,739
聽話符

704
00:46:46,554 --> 00:46:48,533
又來 老橋段了

705
00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:50,668
哪有這麼多新的 老闆

706
00:46:50,767 --> 00:46:52,746
混口飯而已 將就一下吧

707
00:46:52,852 --> 00:46:54,126
我一貼上去

708
00:46:54,229 --> 00:46:55,924
我做什麼他就做什麼

709
00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:58,217
而且動作和我的一模一樣

710
00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:45,382
仆街 砍死他

711
00:47:47,156 --> 00:47:49,056
不行 你脫光衣服到處晃我就完蛋了

712
00:47:49,158 --> 00:47:50,182
我不會中計的

713
00:47:50,285 --> 00:47:51,013
你不信我啊

714
00:47:52,036 --> 00:47:52,639
不信

715
00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:57,023
枉費我真心真意想要幫你

716
00:47:58,126 --> 00:47:59,400
你是不是還不信我

717
00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:02,778
不信

718
00:48:03,131 --> 00:48:05,656
如果中間有不妥當 你可以喊停

719
00:48:06,759 --> 00:48:07,703
你不會騙我

720
00:48:08,261 --> 00:48:09,785
我像嗎

721
00:48:11,055 --> 00:48:12,249
我什麼時候騙過你

722
00:48:12,348 --> 00:48:13,747
你從來沒有不騙我

723
00:48:13,850 --> 00:48:15,044
對啊 你知道就好

724
00:48:15,768 --> 00:48:16,837
仆街啦你

725
00:48:31,951 --> 00:48:32,849
好

726
00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:46,363
停

727
00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:53,162
在哪裏

728
00:48:53,598 --> 00:48:55,873
還不表演是不是瞧不起我

729
00:48:55,975 --> 00:48:56,669
繼續吧

730
00:49:04,484 --> 00:49:05,633
走開

731
00:49:15,620 --> 00:49:16,393
真可憐

732
00:49:16,496 --> 00:49:17,895
跳脫衣舞是我強項

733
00:49:17,997 --> 00:49:19,942
師父跳得沒我好

734
00:49:22,752 --> 00:49:23,855
人呢

735
00:49:24,379 --> 00:49:25,482
去了哪裏

736
00:49:30,218 --> 00:49:31,037
停

737
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:32,822
不要停

738
00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:35,366
你喊什麼停

739
00:49:35,473 --> 00:49:37,077
你再喊停 我就把你的頭砍下來

740
00:49:37,183 --> 00:49:38,627
開玩笑的

741
00:49:40,269 --> 00:49:41,622
原來不是開玩笑的

742
00:49:41,729 --> 00:49:44,050
再喊停 就肯定砍你的頭下來

743
00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:45,801
繼續吧

744
00:49:58,621 --> 00:50:01,272
厲害啊 還有更驕傲的東西拿出來嗎

745
00:50:05,670 --> 00:50:07,023
賞你耳光

746
00:50:07,130 --> 00:50:08,529
賞你耳光

747
00:50:10,717 --> 00:50:11,570
再賞你耳光

748
00:50:11,676 --> 00:50:13,075
再賞你耳光

749
00:50:18,558 --> 00:50:20,628
他打我

750
00:50:21,561 --> 00:50:23,961
他打我

751
00:50:28,151 --> 00:50:29,425
快點快點

752
00:50:29,527 --> 00:50:32,507
趁國王還在哭 你們快點走吧

753
00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:47,272
法師 我已經盡力幫你了

754
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:49,194
你搞出這樣的事情

755
00:50:49,297 --> 00:50:51,276
法師的招牌恐怕是

756
00:50:54,093 --> 00:50:56,288
無可救藥了

757
00:50:57,013 --> 00:50:58,366
來人

758
00:50:59,265 --> 00:51:01,085
這裏有些盤纏

759
00:51:02,060 --> 00:51:04,130
你先拿去用吧

760
00:51:04,228 --> 00:51:06,799
這十年八年你就別出現了

761
00:51:06,898 --> 00:51:09,128
我弄成這樣 怎麼可以拿你的

762
00:51:09,233 --> 00:51:11,588
算了 人心都是肉長的

763
00:51:12,236 --> 00:51:13,760
相見難

764
00:51:14,113 --> 00:51:16,013
離別就更難

765
00:51:16,115 --> 00:51:18,811
今日一別 不知何時還能再見

766
00:51:19,368 --> 00:51:20,437
保重了

767
00:51:20,536 --> 00:51:21,685
唐唐

768
00:51:26,250 --> 00:51:28,605
國師超級喜歡你

769
00:51:28,711 --> 00:51:30,611
師父你是吃定她了吧

770
00:51:30,713 --> 00:51:32,567
你的桃花運真好 佩服佩服

771
00:51:32,673 --> 00:51:35,653
不過你的確是有魅力 該有這種艷福

772
00:51:37,553 --> 00:51:38,827
你這隻臭猴子

773
00:51:38,930 --> 00:51:40,625
你還好意思說話

774
00:51:40,807 --> 00:51:42,786
我料到這次會出事

775
00:51:42,892 --> 00:51:44,086
沒想到你玩那麼大

776
00:51:44,185 --> 00:51:46,415
你給我跪下

777
00:51:46,687 --> 00:51:48,587
不跪我就打到你跪

778
00:51:49,107 --> 00:51:49,801
跪下

779
00:51:49,941 --> 00:51:50,919
打啊

780
00:51:51,192 --> 00:51:54,138
你知不知道當眾出醜是什麼感受嗎

781
00:51:54,278 --> 00:51:56,974
我整天當眾被罰跳這種爛舞

782
00:51:57,073 --> 00:51:58,426
你能知道我的感受嗎

783
00:51:58,533 --> 00:51:59,386
在小弟們面前

784
00:51:59,492 --> 00:52:01,437
跪在地上像狗一樣被你打

785
00:52:01,786 --> 00:52:03,515
你知不知道我感受

786
00:52:03,913 --> 00:52:04,607
沒錯

787
00:52:04,705 --> 00:52:05,933
我就是要耍你

788
00:52:06,207 --> 00:52:07,651
讓你知道什麼叫沒有尊嚴

789
00:52:11,546 --> 00:52:12,615
好

790
00:52:13,256 --> 00:52:15,110
既然都說到這個地步

791
00:52:15,383 --> 00:52:16,532
我就一掌打死你

792
00:52:16,634 --> 00:52:17,703
你打啊

793
00:52:18,136 --> 00:52:18,955
我早就想好了

794
00:52:19,053 --> 00:52:20,998
我寧死也不要被你折磨

795
00:52:21,639 --> 00:52:23,209
我只想告訴你

796
00:52:23,474 --> 00:52:25,874
什麼叫己所不欲

797
00:52:26,144 --> 00:52:27,623
勿施於人

798
00:52:41,659 --> 00:52:43,980
對不起 我錯了

799
00:52:47,206 --> 00:52:49,561
滾 別跟我來這套

800
00:52:51,711 --> 00:52:54,612
你說得對 己所不欲勿施於人

801
00:52:56,090 --> 00:52:57,910
師父整天罰你跳舞

802
00:52:58,426 --> 00:52:59,700
讓你當眾出醜

803
00:53:00,136 --> 00:53:03,742
現在我才知道 沒有尊嚴是有多慘

804
00:53:03,848 --> 00:53:05,042
有多慘

805
00:53:06,267 --> 00:53:08,667
師父叫你臭猴子是錯的

806
00:53:08,769 --> 00:53:11,465
一天到晚只知道打你罵你

807
00:53:12,607 --> 00:53:14,632
完全沒有顧及你的感受

808
00:53:18,988 --> 00:53:20,137
其實有問題的人

809
00:53:20,740 --> 00:53:21,684
是我

810
00:53:22,283 --> 00:53:24,103
是我搞到大家都不開心

811
00:53:24,952 --> 00:53:26,726
我真的知道錯了

812
00:53:27,121 --> 00:53:29,225
希望你原諒我一次吧

813
00:53:29,749 --> 00:53:32,070
給我一次機會 原諒我吧

814
00:53:34,295 --> 00:53:36,240
師父終於良心發現了

815
00:53:36,672 --> 00:53:40,369
沒見識 這招以退為進夠厲害的

816
00:53:40,468 --> 00:53:42,447
在適當的時候下跪認錯

817
00:53:42,553 --> 00:53:44,157
可以收買人心

818
00:53:44,347 --> 00:53:46,998
你看 大師兄現在不就服服帖帖嗎

819
00:53:49,143 --> 00:53:50,667
師父看著傻

820
00:53:50,770 --> 00:53:52,920
其實他是管理學的高手

821
00:53:55,107 --> 00:53:56,256
師父

822
00:53:57,610 --> 00:53:59,430
其實我做得也有點過分

823
00:54:01,030 --> 00:54:02,383
快起來

824
00:54:05,534 --> 00:54:07,058
師父其實很疼你的

825
00:54:07,161 --> 00:54:09,231
難道要告訴你嗎

826
00:54:10,289 --> 00:54:12,393
師父 你對我怎樣

827
00:54:12,500 --> 00:54:13,979
我的心裏很清楚

828
00:54:14,085 --> 00:54:14,688
可我以後

829
00:54:14,794 --> 00:54:16,694
真的不想再跳那些舞蹈了

830
00:54:17,046 --> 00:54:18,195
坦白說 悟空

831
00:54:18,381 --> 00:54:19,905
你跳舞是很有天份的

832
00:54:20,841 --> 00:54:21,990
師父 還說這些

833
00:54:22,093 --> 00:54:23,037
不好吧

834
00:54:23,135 --> 00:54:25,080
不要叫我師父了

835
00:54:25,179 --> 00:54:27,204
我們兩個是一輩子的兄弟

836
00:54:27,390 --> 00:54:30,120
以後叫我大哥就行了 好嗎

837
00:54:32,311 --> 00:54:33,414
大哥

838
00:54:35,773 --> 00:54:36,751
大哥

839
00:54:37,984 --> 00:54:39,303
你看效果多顯著

840
00:54:39,402 --> 00:54:42,474
不單握手言和 還準備親上了

841
00:54:42,697 --> 00:54:44,221
你不服都不行

842
00:54:45,533 --> 00:54:48,513
皇宮禁地 擅闖者格殺勿論

843
00:54:49,787 --> 00:54:51,015
不好意思

844
00:54:51,122 --> 00:54:52,350
法師

845
00:54:54,083 --> 00:54:54,936
你回來幹嘛

846
00:54:55,251 --> 00:54:55,899
真人

847
00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:57,981
我想了又想 越想越不對勁

848
00:54:58,087 --> 00:54:59,031
必須救救我的招牌

849
00:54:59,130 --> 00:55:00,779
我想跟皇上解釋一下

850
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:04,279
我拜託你趕緊走吧

851
00:55:04,385 --> 00:55:06,239
你還要進去 只會有更多的混亂

852
00:55:06,429 --> 00:55:09,034
國師 我招牌很值錢 別人不知道

853
00:55:09,140 --> 00:55:11,040
你就最清楚了 幫幫忙吧

854
00:55:20,526 --> 00:55:22,096
你們還敢回來

855
00:55:23,738 --> 00:55:25,091
皇上息怒

856
00:55:25,197 --> 00:55:27,347
唐僧有話要說

857
00:55:27,450 --> 00:55:28,519
是的 皇上

858
00:55:28,617 --> 00:55:30,346
剛才的事 跟我無關

859
00:55:30,453 --> 00:55:32,774
完全是這個劣徒 一手造成

860
00:55:32,955 --> 00:55:35,059
所以特意帶他來 向你道歉

861
00:55:35,166 --> 00:55:36,895
順便奉上精彩的

862
00:55:37,001 --> 00:55:38,525
驅魔表演

863
00:55:39,086 --> 00:55:40,110
悟空

864
00:55:52,183 --> 00:55:52,956
打我

865
00:55:53,934 --> 00:55:54,912
你們變態的

866
00:55:55,436 --> 00:55:56,084
對啊

867
00:55:56,187 --> 00:55:59,418
玩遊戲讓皇上消消氣也好

868
00:55:59,523 --> 00:56:00,842
孫長老

869
00:56:00,941 --> 00:56:02,841
我跟你解釋一下遊戲規則

870
00:56:08,657 --> 00:56:09,726
法師

871
00:56:09,825 --> 00:56:12,555
這會不會太隨心隨性了

872
00:56:23,172 --> 00:56:24,446
是不是沒吃飯

873
00:56:24,548 --> 00:56:25,742
用力一點行嗎

874
00:56:25,841 --> 00:56:27,160
這樣打

875
00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:57,437
滾

876
00:57:00,709 --> 00:57:01,937
危險

877
00:57:34,535 --> 00:57:35,888
紅孩兒

878
00:57:35,995 --> 00:57:37,269
孫悟空

879
00:57:37,371 --> 00:57:38,975
你終於現形了

880
00:57:39,540 --> 00:57:41,485
我早就看出你有古怪

881
00:57:41,584 --> 00:57:42,232
傳聞

882
00:57:42,334 --> 00:57:44,404
你手執丈八火尖槍

883
00:57:44,503 --> 00:57:45,231
腳下

884
00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:47,525
是赤焰掣金輪 幸會了

885
00:57:49,216 --> 00:57:50,695
你叫齊天大聖

886
00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:52,363
那就是很厲害了

887
00:57:52,553 --> 00:57:53,497
露兩手

888
00:57:53,596 --> 00:57:54,824
給本少爺瞧瞧

889
00:58:22,541 --> 00:58:23,485
出陰招

890
00:58:25,794 --> 00:58:27,113
看我的

891
00:58:38,933 --> 00:58:40,537
法師 快過來

892
00:59:34,321 --> 00:59:36,141
三昧真火

893
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,140
接招

894
01:00:32,087 --> 01:00:32,985
皇宮

895
01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:35,739
沒了

896
01:00:37,551 --> 01:00:40,076
全毀了

897
01:00:40,929 --> 01:00:42,123
笨猴子

898
01:00:42,222 --> 01:00:43,120
別躲了

899
01:00:43,641 --> 01:00:45,211
出來見我

900
01:02:19,403 --> 01:02:20,631
到我了

901
01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:33,652
救命啊

902
01:02:34,626 --> 01:02:35,945
救命啊

903
01:02:36,670 --> 01:02:37,944
發生什麼事

904
01:02:38,046 --> 01:02:40,401
是不是地震啊

905
01:02:41,258 --> 01:02:41,986
皇上

906
01:02:44,470 --> 01:02:45,539
打住

907
01:02:47,514 --> 01:02:48,538
讓我來

908
01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:05,017
好萌的妖怪

909
01:03:06,158 --> 01:03:08,388
這隻妖我收了 送給你做紀念

910
01:03:08,494 --> 01:03:10,689
好 那我就日夜誦經

911
01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:12,649
為它去除魔性

912
01:03:13,165 --> 01:03:14,644
我盡力而為吧

913
01:03:17,628 --> 01:03:18,822
國王

914
01:03:20,756 --> 01:03:22,155
皇上

915
01:03:28,263 --> 01:03:29,616
多謝各位高僧

916
01:03:29,723 --> 01:03:31,998
讓我們終於找到真正的國王

917
01:03:32,100 --> 01:03:34,330
我們還準備了厚禮送給法師

918
01:03:34,436 --> 01:03:35,585
請看

919
01:03:48,951 --> 01:03:51,556
本王后宮佳麗三千

920
01:03:51,662 --> 01:03:53,061
你隨意吧

921
01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:53,731
都給我嗎

922
01:03:53,831 --> 01:03:56,686
當然 本王連王位都給你

923
01:03:56,792 --> 01:03:58,271
皇上 你冷靜點

924
01:03:59,127 --> 01:04:00,822
皇上的意思是

925
01:04:01,088 --> 01:04:03,534
你可以多挑幾個宮女隨行

926
01:04:03,757 --> 01:04:04,610
是這個意思

927
01:04:04,716 --> 01:04:06,616
謝皇上一番好意 可貧僧

928
01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:08,538
師父跟我們是這種人嗎

929
01:04:08,637 --> 01:04:10,457
我們最痛恨的就是女色

930
01:04:10,556 --> 01:04:11,454
有本事你就全給我

931
01:04:11,557 --> 01:04:13,252
我一個一個收拾她們

932
01:04:14,142 --> 01:04:15,040
魚快乾死了

933
01:04:15,143 --> 01:04:16,246
不要浪費

934
01:04:16,770 --> 01:04:18,214
你的口水好臭啊

935
01:04:18,313 --> 01:04:19,291
便宜你了

936
01:04:19,398 --> 01:04:21,093
隨便吧 比沒有好

937
01:04:22,442 --> 01:04:24,296
其實怎麼都會用得上

938
01:04:24,403 --> 01:04:25,802
挑一兩個吧 對啊

939
01:04:26,154 --> 01:04:29,385
這次不讓我收拾她們就說不過去了

940
01:04:29,825 --> 01:04:31,975
如果皇上一定要誠意報答的話

941
01:04:32,077 --> 01:04:33,055
依貧僧之意

942
01:04:33,620 --> 01:04:35,690
不如還眾佳麗自由 好嗎

943
01:04:35,956 --> 01:04:36,854
沒問題

944
01:04:36,957 --> 01:04:39,437
你們誰誰誰 想走就儘管走

945
01:04:39,543 --> 01:04:42,569
本王絕不追究 君無戲言

946
01:04:43,088 --> 01:04:44,658
皇上 那

947
01:04:44,756 --> 01:04:45,529
我很想哭

948
01:04:45,632 --> 01:04:48,078
後宮佳麗三千 沒一個有人樣

949
01:04:48,176 --> 01:04:49,154
又那麼能吃

950
01:04:49,261 --> 01:04:52,913
一天七頓飯 每頓吃七碗 早點走吧

951
01:04:53,140 --> 01:04:54,368
你們自由了 走吧

952
01:04:54,474 --> 01:04:55,543
你有病啊

953
01:04:55,642 --> 01:04:56,540
做皇妃做得好好的

954
01:04:56,643 --> 01:04:57,712
我為什麼要走

955
01:04:57,811 --> 01:04:59,881
死禿驢 你算哪顆蔥

956
01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:01,254
不要搗亂 不然我喊人了

957
01:05:01,982 --> 01:05:03,176
我們這麼愛慕虛榮嗎

958
01:05:03,567 --> 01:05:05,762
我們是為了真愛

959
01:05:05,861 --> 01:05:07,761
趕走唐僧 保衛愛情

960
01:05:08,030 --> 01:05:10,225
趕走唐僧 保衛愛情

961
01:05:10,324 --> 01:05:12,724
趕走唐僧 保衛愛情

962
01:05:12,826 --> 01:05:14,646
趕走唐僧 保衛愛情

963
01:05:15,203 --> 01:05:17,808
你看 她們有多愛你啊

964
01:05:18,790 --> 01:05:20,644
打得你斷子絕孫

965
01:05:20,918 --> 01:05:22,237
對不起 我不對 使勁打

966
01:05:22,628 --> 01:05:25,233
好了好了 都留下好吧

967
01:05:28,717 --> 01:05:31,038
我好想死

968
01:05:37,476 --> 01:05:39,296
就是 就是

969
01:05:40,103 --> 01:05:41,172
就是 你

970
01:05:41,271 --> 01:05:42,124
我 對

971
01:05:42,230 --> 01:05:45,131
就是你後面穿黑衣服的

972
01:05:45,233 --> 01:05:47,633
你啊 我怎麼沒有見過你

973
01:05:47,736 --> 01:05:49,431
這是新來的宮女

974
01:05:49,529 --> 01:05:51,303
她原先是一名歌姬

975
01:05:53,700 --> 01:05:55,554
你叫什麼名字

976
01:05:56,995 --> 01:05:58,769
奴婢小善

977
01:05:58,956 --> 01:06:00,400
既然是歌姬

978
01:06:00,582 --> 01:06:02,561
就趕快表演一曲

979
01:06:02,668 --> 01:06:04,898
送給大師們餞行吧

980
01:06:06,171 --> 01:06:07,274
是

981
01:06:24,398 --> 01:06:26,047
胖女人 我才不怕你

982
01:06:48,755 --> 01:06:50,780
（昨天 今天）

983
01:06:50,882 --> 01:06:54,659
（過去不再回來）

984
01:06:57,097 --> 01:06:58,997
（紅顏落下）

985
01:06:59,099 --> 01:07:03,877
（色彩變蒼白）

986
01:07:04,354 --> 01:07:08,176
（從前直到現在）

987
01:07:09,109 --> 01:07:12,636
（愛還在）

988
01:07:12,738 --> 01:07:16,094
（願去等你漂泊）

989
01:07:16,700 --> 01:07:20,101
（白雲外）

990
01:07:22,164 --> 01:07:24,860
（痛愛）

991
01:07:24,958 --> 01:07:27,779
（讓人悲哀）

992
01:07:29,838 --> 01:07:32,944
（在世上）

993
01:07:33,050 --> 01:07:37,578
（命運不能更改）

994
01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:41,080
（放開）

995
01:07:41,683 --> 01:07:46,507
（不能再相愛）

996
01:07:46,605 --> 01:07:53,340
（難道這是上天的安排）

997
01:07:58,533 --> 01:08:01,639
好 聲色藝俱全 精彩

998
01:08:13,548 --> 01:08:14,492
法師

999
01:08:15,717 --> 01:08:16,285
什麼

1000
01:08:17,469 --> 01:08:19,573
皇上問你 讓小善陪你西行

1001
01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:20,657
好不好

1002
01:08:20,764 --> 01:08:21,788
不行不行

1003
01:08:21,932 --> 01:08:24,002
貧僧西行取經是苦行修佛

1004
01:08:24,392 --> 01:08:25,745
恐怕是不太合適

1005
01:08:26,937 --> 01:08:29,132
小善一直都有燒香禮佛

1006
01:08:29,231 --> 01:08:30,584
對佛理興趣濃厚

1007
01:08:30,690 --> 01:08:33,090
取經路上風餐露宿 粗衣糲食

1008
01:08:33,235 --> 01:08:35,635
女孩子不行的 捱不了的

1009
01:08:35,946 --> 01:08:37,174
我不怕

1010
01:08:37,531 --> 01:08:39,010
小善家境清貧

1011
01:08:39,116 --> 01:08:41,562
自幼挑柴煮飯 織布造衫

1012
01:08:41,660 --> 01:08:43,764
早就習慣了艱苦生活

1013
01:08:43,870 --> 01:08:44,564
好

1014
01:08:44,663 --> 01:08:46,267
說得太感人了

1015
01:08:46,373 --> 01:08:47,943
這個小善

1016
01:08:48,041 --> 01:08:50,896
能歌善舞 還會洗衣做飯

1017
01:08:51,169 --> 01:08:55,071
此乃是居家旅行必備之良品啊

1018
01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:55,901
不過

1019
01:08:56,133 --> 01:08:58,408
大師 你真的不要嗎

1020
01:08:59,386 --> 01:09:00,114
不要

1021
01:09:01,763 --> 01:09:03,162
你不後悔嗎

1022
01:09:03,557 --> 01:09:04,285
不後悔

1023
01:09:04,599 --> 01:09:08,000
大師你冷靜一下 再想清楚

1024
01:09:08,103 --> 01:09:09,377
我再問你一次

1025
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:10,673
你真的不要

1026
01:09:11,189 --> 01:09:11,712
是

1027
01:09:11,815 --> 01:09:13,794
有沒有搞錯 這麼好的姑娘

1028
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:16,721
你為什麼不要呢 天理不容

1029
01:09:17,195 --> 01:09:18,093
國師

1030
01:09:18,196 --> 01:09:20,221
這樣吧

1031
01:09:20,323 --> 01:09:23,975
小善 有多快就多快送來我房間

1032
01:09:26,371 --> 01:09:27,520
皇上

1033
01:09:33,795 --> 01:09:36,070
那貧僧就先行告辭了

1034
01:09:41,761 --> 01:09:42,989
來人 送客

1035
01:09:43,096 --> 01:09:44,120
把魚拖出去

1036
01:09:44,222 --> 01:09:45,450
你過來

1037
01:10:28,475 --> 01:10:29,624
有過痛苦

1038
01:10:30,352 --> 01:10:32,172
方知眾生痛苦

1039
01:10:33,730 --> 01:10:34,879
有過執著

1040
01:10:35,398 --> 01:10:36,717
放下執著

1041
01:10:38,818 --> 01:10:39,921
有過牽掛

1042
01:10:41,112 --> 01:10:42,807
了無牽掛

1043
01:10:44,991 --> 01:10:46,765
這是一種境界

1044
01:10:48,620 --> 01:10:49,723
而我

1045
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:52,646
只是一個凡人

1046
01:10:56,878 --> 01:10:57,947
皇上

1047
01:10:58,046 --> 01:11:00,196
法師又回來了

1048
01:11:04,135 --> 01:11:06,410
三藏大師途中折返

1049
01:11:06,513 --> 01:11:08,333
莫非遇到了什麼事

1050
01:11:08,556 --> 01:11:10,160
貧僧翻來覆去

1051
01:11:10,267 --> 01:11:11,211
覺得還是不要辜負

1052
01:11:11,309 --> 01:11:12,958
皇上的一番美意

1053
01:11:13,061 --> 01:11:16,041
懇請皇上賜小善陪貧僧上路

1054
01:11:17,524 --> 01:11:19,128
應該沒有問題吧

1055
01:11:21,611 --> 01:11:22,509
不過

1056
01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:23,465
不過什麼

1057
01:11:23,571 --> 01:11:26,551
本王已經跟小善愛情動作了

1058
01:11:29,411 --> 01:11:31,732
不如這樣 你再選別人吧

1059
01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:36,652
法師

1060
01:11:36,751 --> 01:11:39,072
本宮也愛莫能助了

1061
01:11:41,464 --> 01:11:44,115
這樣而已 貧僧不介意

1062
01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:47,447
小善得到皇上的指導

1063
01:11:47,554 --> 01:11:48,782
貧僧深感光榮

1064
01:11:48,888 --> 01:11:50,116
這樣你都不介意

1065
01:11:50,682 --> 01:11:51,876
絕不介意

1066
01:11:51,975 --> 01:11:53,419
你不介意

1067
01:11:53,518 --> 01:11:55,463
我介意

1068
01:11:58,732 --> 01:12:00,677
其實據本宮所知

1069
01:12:00,775 --> 01:12:02,754
昨晚小善誓死不從

1070
01:12:02,861 --> 01:12:04,465
堅決不肯做皇妃

1071
01:12:04,571 --> 01:12:07,301
還說如果逼她的話 情願一死了之

1072
01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:09,636
那就是

1073
01:12:09,743 --> 01:12:10,937
是

1074
01:12:11,036 --> 01:12:12,105
是我騙你

1075
01:12:12,203 --> 01:12:13,807
那又怎樣

1076
01:12:13,913 --> 01:12:16,814
我昨天是不是問了你八次

1077
01:12:16,916 --> 01:12:18,360
你都說你不要

1078
01:12:18,460 --> 01:12:21,236
你現在莫名其妙地回來說要

1079
01:12:21,338 --> 01:12:24,318
你要趕盡殺絕嗎

1080
01:12:24,883 --> 01:12:26,453
別那麼生氣了

1081
01:12:26,551 --> 01:12:28,200
我們捶捶腿吧

1082
01:12:28,303 --> 01:12:29,702
後宮佳麗三千人

1083
01:12:30,263 --> 01:12:32,993
個個長得跟雷劈了一樣

1084
01:12:33,099 --> 01:12:35,499
就這麼一個好看的

1085
01:12:35,602 --> 01:12:37,923
你連根骨頭都不留給我嗎

1086
01:12:38,021 --> 01:12:38,794
是

1087
01:12:38,897 --> 01:12:40,421
你這個混蛋

1088
01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:43,886
既然法師已經想清楚了

1089
01:12:43,985 --> 01:12:45,759
小善又不肯做皇妃

1090
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:48,012
我們不如成人之美吧

1091
01:12:48,907 --> 01:12:49,635
就這麼定了

1092
01:12:49,741 --> 01:12:51,265
把小善帶上來

1093
01:12:51,826 --> 01:12:53,305
謝皇上成全

1094
01:13:35,453 --> 01:13:36,147
師父

1095
01:13:36,246 --> 01:13:37,270
喝水

1096
01:13:39,833 --> 01:13:40,902
你先喝

1097
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:42,103
謝謝

1098
01:13:45,380 --> 01:13:47,029
悟空 你幹嘛

1099
01:13:47,132 --> 01:13:48,326
撒尿

1100
01:13:48,591 --> 01:13:50,536
有女孩子在啊 你有沒有搞錯

1101
01:13:50,635 --> 01:13:52,284
去那邊

1102
01:13:53,888 --> 01:13:55,412
小善 你陪我去

1103
01:13:56,349 --> 01:13:57,452
我不急啊

1104
01:13:57,559 --> 01:13:58,628
我說你急就急

1105
01:13:58,726 --> 01:13:59,750
走了

1106
01:14:01,479 --> 01:14:03,083
你等等我馬上回來

1107
01:14:05,150 --> 01:14:06,344
小師妹

1108
01:14:07,110 --> 01:14:08,134
你是誰

1109
01:14:08,611 --> 01:14:10,090
二師兄啊

1110
01:14:10,196 --> 01:14:12,972
我的真面目是不是帥得很過份呢

1111
01:14:14,951 --> 01:14:15,599
有時候

1112
01:14:16,453 --> 01:14:19,024
我一照鏡子 自己都嚇一跳

1113
01:14:19,456 --> 01:14:20,059
二師兄

1114
01:14:20,665 --> 01:14:22,235
大師兄在看你

1115
01:14:22,625 --> 01:14:24,069
所以我不能照鏡子的

1116
01:14:24,169 --> 01:14:25,363
萬一不小心照到

1117
01:14:27,589 --> 01:14:29,819
會心跳加速 猶如鹿撞

1118
01:14:40,101 --> 01:14:41,500
重口味 好

1119
01:14:41,603 --> 01:14:44,049
小善 快拿鞭子打師兄

1120
01:14:44,355 --> 01:14:46,255
調教我 凌辱我

1121
01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:49,303
蹂躪我 懲罰我 折磨我

1122
01:14:51,029 --> 01:14:52,303
你笑什麼

1123
01:14:55,074 --> 01:14:56,598
三師兄 你咳嗽了

1124
01:14:56,701 --> 01:14:58,100
喝點水吧

1125
01:14:59,579 --> 01:15:01,649
為什麼要塞著鼻子

1126
01:15:17,263 --> 01:15:18,036
好舒服啊

1127
01:15:18,431 --> 01:15:21,036
原來你打個噴嚏就變回人形

1128
01:15:21,142 --> 01:15:23,838
早知道就不用那麼辛苦拉你了

1129
01:15:24,812 --> 01:15:26,416
拜託你

1130
01:15:26,523 --> 01:15:29,003
就算你沒尿 也盡力擠一點出來

1131
01:15:29,108 --> 01:15:30,507
好好照照自己的樣子

1132
01:15:34,447 --> 01:15:36,426
帥爆了 有什麼可幫到你

1133
01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:39,346
爆你個頭啊 你頭髮都沒有

1134
01:15:39,994 --> 01:15:41,313
小善還有點姿色

1135
01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:42,765
她有什麼理由連皇后也不做

1136
01:15:42,872 --> 01:15:44,567
跟你出來啊

1137
01:15:45,291 --> 01:15:46,815
那你說為什麼呢

1138
01:15:47,001 --> 01:15:49,777
因為她是妖精 她想吃你

1139
01:15:51,631 --> 01:15:53,110
別滋過來

1140
01:15:55,218 --> 01:15:57,573
她是妖精你不早說 現在才說

1141
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:00,250
妖精分好多類

1142
01:16:00,348 --> 01:16:01,918
有的一眼就能看出來

1143
01:16:02,016 --> 01:16:04,917
有的還真不那麼容易看出來

1144
01:16:07,981 --> 01:16:09,380
那就是沒有證據了

1145
01:16:10,358 --> 01:16:12,258
證據是要找的

1146
01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,134
泡妞泡傻了吧

1147
01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:15,932
大明咒 照妖鏡

1148
01:16:16,197 --> 01:16:17,516
你不是不知道吧

1149
01:16:17,615 --> 01:16:19,515
你是出來混的嗎 驅魔人

1150
01:16:44,058 --> 01:16:45,161
找什麼

1151
01:16:45,393 --> 01:16:46,587
找一面鏡子

1152
01:16:47,103 --> 01:16:48,297
我有

1153
01:16:52,442 --> 01:16:53,716
謝謝

1154
01:16:55,194 --> 01:16:56,968
這面鏡子發光的

1155
01:17:01,576 --> 01:17:02,600
壞了嗎

1156
01:17:03,703 --> 01:17:04,556
沒壞啊

1157
01:17:09,751 --> 01:17:11,070
玩夠了嗎

1158
01:17:11,711 --> 01:17:13,190
小善過來 我幫你梳頭

1159
01:17:23,181 --> 01:17:24,534
你幹嘛

1160
01:17:25,725 --> 01:17:27,044
只要將妖精的血滴上去

1161
01:17:27,143 --> 01:17:28,417
就會冒煙

1162
01:17:30,647 --> 01:17:31,375
沒有啊

1163
01:17:31,481 --> 01:17:32,505
不可能

1164
01:17:32,815 --> 01:17:34,214
閉嘴吧你 驅魔人

1165
01:17:34,317 --> 01:17:36,171
大家冷靜一下 如果不是 你是哪裏人

1166
01:17:36,277 --> 01:17:37,721
我是河口村人

1167
01:17:38,488 --> 01:17:39,056
河口村

1168
01:17:39,280 --> 01:17:40,429
河口村就在那邊

1169
01:17:40,531 --> 01:17:42,055
敢不敢跟我們走一趟

1170
01:17:42,158 --> 01:17:43,637
我從沒見過妖精有家人的

1171
01:17:43,743 --> 01:17:44,937
去就去

1172
01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,033
小善 你好久沒回來了

1173
01:17:57,131 --> 01:18:00,282
娘 我是跟大唐的高僧去取經修行

1174
01:18:02,011 --> 01:18:03,865
你看這一家人多好

1175
01:18:03,971 --> 01:18:05,620
還不快跟小善道歉

1176
01:18:06,015 --> 01:18:07,960
道歉 想得美

1177
01:18:16,359 --> 01:18:17,462
爹

1178
01:18:22,699 --> 01:18:25,099
妖女 請了那麼多臨時演員回來

1179
01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:26,020
你好下本啊

1180
01:18:26,119 --> 01:18:28,019
我不知道我和你之間有什麼誤會

1181
01:18:28,121 --> 01:18:29,395
我求求你放了我娘親

1182
01:18:29,497 --> 01:18:31,351
放我家人一條生路

1183
01:18:31,541 --> 01:18:34,112
大師兄你別衝動 先放手

1184
01:18:34,210 --> 01:18:35,234
娘

1185
01:18:35,628 --> 01:18:37,949
師兄不要這樣 師父只是照顧師妹

1186
01:18:38,047 --> 01:18:38,900
不代表他不疼你

1187
01:18:39,507 --> 01:18:40,986
你不要嫉妒她了

1188
01:18:41,592 --> 01:18:42,661
嫉妒

1189
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:45,410
都給我閉嘴

1190
01:18:48,725 --> 01:18:50,829
娘 快走

1191
01:18:52,186 --> 01:18:54,131
你要我說多少次才會信我

1192
01:18:54,230 --> 01:18:55,424
這個女人是妖精

1193
01:18:55,523 --> 01:18:56,626
她們串通好來害你的

1194
01:18:56,733 --> 01:18:58,086
明明小善家有老小

1195
01:18:58,443 --> 01:19:00,343
你還要冤枉他們

1196
01:19:01,028 --> 01:19:02,848
現在害人的是你

1197
01:19:02,947 --> 01:19:04,141
你才是妖精

1198
01:19:04,240 --> 01:19:06,595
你是不是信她 不信我

1199
01:19:06,826 --> 01:19:07,895
是

1200
01:19:07,994 --> 01:19:08,767
好

1201
01:19:08,995 --> 01:19:10,144
那我殺了她

1202
01:19:16,878 --> 01:19:18,948
你居然為了一隻妖精打我

1203
01:19:19,589 --> 01:19:20,738
是不是我喜歡的女人

1204
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:22,114
都要像段小姐

1205
01:19:22,216 --> 01:19:23,615
那樣死在你手上

1206
01:19:24,385 --> 01:19:25,909
終於說出來了

1207
01:19:30,141 --> 01:19:32,211
原來這事你一直都記住

1208
01:19:32,310 --> 01:19:33,880
我當然記住

1209
01:19:34,061 --> 01:19:35,005
我永遠都會記住

1210
01:19:35,104 --> 01:19:37,584
她是怎麼被你活生生打死的

1211
01:19:38,483 --> 01:19:40,132
我以為你真把我當兄弟

1212
01:19:40,651 --> 01:19:41,629
兄弟

1213
01:19:42,069 --> 01:19:44,594
天天跟你這個變態殺人狂在一起

1214
01:19:44,697 --> 01:19:47,598
我不跟你裝兄弟 我能怎麼辦

1215
01:19:47,700 --> 01:19:49,804
你 死十次都不嫌多

1216
01:19:49,911 --> 01:19:52,141
我希望你下地獄 永不超生

1217
01:19:52,246 --> 01:19:53,190
好

1218
01:19:53,581 --> 01:19:55,185
這個世界不是朋友

1219
01:19:55,750 --> 01:19:57,399
就是敵人了

1220
01:19:58,586 --> 01:19:59,939
我們從頭到尾都是敵人

1221
01:20:00,588 --> 01:20:01,691
滾

1222
01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:04,694
趁我今天心情好 你有多遠滾多遠

1223
01:20:05,843 --> 01:20:07,367
你今天心情好 是吧

1224
01:20:07,470 --> 01:20:09,074
你們給我聽著

1225
01:20:09,305 --> 01:20:11,580
一路以來 我殺的妖

1226
01:20:11,682 --> 01:20:12,626
降的魔

1227
01:20:12,725 --> 01:20:14,249
全都是為了他

1228
01:20:14,727 --> 01:20:16,797
而我這治不好的偏頭痛

1229
01:20:16,896 --> 01:20:18,670
和滿身的鞭痕

1230
01:20:18,815 --> 01:20:20,760
全都是他賜給我的

1231
01:20:21,317 --> 01:20:22,636
我欠他的

1232
01:20:22,735 --> 01:20:24,384
已經還清了

1233
01:20:24,779 --> 01:20:27,600
他欠我的 也不必再還

1234
01:20:28,115 --> 01:20:30,265
從今以後 你我師徒二人

1235
01:20:30,368 --> 01:20:31,767
恩斷義絕

1236
01:20:33,329 --> 01:20:34,728
大師兄 不要理他

1237
01:20:42,964 --> 01:20:43,908
爹

1238
01:21:08,614 --> 01:21:10,013
小善 他們怎樣了

1239
01:21:10,116 --> 01:21:13,222
敷了藥休息了 希望沒事

1240
01:21:14,120 --> 01:21:17,146
算了吧 這事與你無關

1241
01:21:17,331 --> 01:21:19,276
誰是段小姐

1242
01:21:23,087 --> 01:21:24,987
段小姐也是驅魔人

1243
01:21:25,882 --> 01:21:28,282
我們一起經歷過生生死死

1244
01:21:28,759 --> 01:21:29,908
其實我很愛她

1245
01:21:30,553 --> 01:21:32,748
不過我從來都不敢承認

1246
01:21:33,556 --> 01:21:34,409
直到那天

1247
01:21:34,515 --> 01:21:35,868
我親眼看到她被悟空

1248
01:21:35,975 --> 01:21:37,374
活生生打死

1249
01:21:37,894 --> 01:21:39,293
一切已經太遲了

1250
01:21:40,271 --> 01:21:41,750
是我辜負了她

1251
01:21:42,648 --> 01:21:45,253
如果你再遇到一個喜歡的人

1252
01:21:45,359 --> 01:21:46,929
你還會辜負她嗎

1253
01:21:53,993 --> 01:21:56,518
其實我的理想很簡單

1254
01:21:57,580 --> 01:21:59,480
找一個如意郎君

1255
01:22:00,291 --> 01:22:03,647
組織一個小家庭 生一個小寶貝

1256
01:22:04,670 --> 01:22:06,774
然後簡簡單單地過生活

1257
01:22:10,509 --> 01:22:11,658
那個人

1258
01:22:12,053 --> 01:22:13,247
就是你

1259
01:22:36,410 --> 01:22:37,604
師父 出事了

1260
01:22:37,703 --> 01:22:38,601
大師兄他瘋了

1261
01:22:38,704 --> 01:22:41,150
見人就殺 我們攔都攔不住

1262
01:22:52,885 --> 01:22:53,988
悟能 悟淨

1263
01:22:54,095 --> 01:22:55,289
你們快去看看 還有沒有人能救活

1264
01:22:55,388 --> 01:22:57,037
娘 爹

1265
01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:09,337
爹 娘

1266
01:23:09,902 --> 01:23:12,723
殺了那麼多人你還笑得出來

1267
01:23:12,822 --> 01:23:14,392
你是著魔了嗎

1268
01:23:15,157 --> 01:23:17,307
我殺的那些 全部都是妖精

1269
01:23:18,119 --> 01:23:19,472
算了吧

1270
01:23:19,578 --> 01:23:20,852
反正我說什麼你都不信

1271
01:23:22,248 --> 01:23:23,351
再殺最後一隻

1272
01:23:23,457 --> 01:23:24,651
收工

1273
01:23:27,795 --> 01:23:28,614
你不要逼我

1274
01:23:28,713 --> 01:23:30,943
為了這個妖女 你命都不要了嗎

1275
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:32,614
我不會再讓你傷害

1276
01:23:32,717 --> 01:23:34,070
我喜歡的人

1277
01:23:34,385 --> 01:23:36,580
沒救了 你才是著了魔 死開

1278
01:23:39,390 --> 01:23:40,163
你夠了吧

1279
01:23:41,642 --> 01:23:42,495
好啊

1280
01:23:42,601 --> 01:23:44,546
既然你想死 我就成全你

1281
01:23:44,854 --> 01:23:47,334
（孩子 孩子 為何你）

1282
01:23:47,940 --> 01:23:49,794
（孩子 孩子）

1283
01:23:49,900 --> 01:23:51,970
（為何你這麼壞）

1284
01:23:52,278 --> 01:23:54,052
我替你唱

1285
01:23:57,241 --> 01:23:57,969
如來神掌

1286
01:24:02,413 --> 01:24:04,392
如來神掌 還在裝

1287
01:24:04,498 --> 01:24:05,726
你懂個球

1288
01:24:09,795 --> 01:24:12,241
死也不信我 死仆街

1289
01:24:15,676 --> 01:24:16,779
不要啊

1290
01:24:16,886 --> 01:24:18,956
你不要再打你師父了

1291
01:24:19,055 --> 01:24:21,205
我求求你不要再打了

1292
01:24:23,851 --> 01:24:25,421
我被你感動到了

1293
01:24:25,519 --> 01:24:26,872
那我就先殺了你

1294
01:24:36,655 --> 01:24:38,725
死禿驢 不死也沒用

1295
01:24:39,742 --> 01:24:42,518
不要再打了 不要打了

1296
01:24:42,620 --> 01:24:44,815
我承認 我是妖精

1297
01:24:45,956 --> 01:24:46,650
我其實就是

1298
01:24:46,749 --> 01:24:49,149
一堆白骨化成的妖精

1299
01:24:49,335 --> 01:24:51,530
整條村都是我變出來的幻象

1300
01:24:52,296 --> 01:24:53,740
你現在聽到了嗎

1301
01:24:53,839 --> 01:24:57,536
當年我跟未婚夫在路上遇到山賊

1302
01:24:57,802 --> 01:25:00,908
我最心愛的人居然丟下我自己跑了

1303
01:25:01,013 --> 01:25:01,991
讓我受盡凌辱

1304
01:25:04,850 --> 01:25:07,705
山賊將我蹂躪之後就棄屍荒野

1305
01:25:09,188 --> 01:25:11,509
直至化成一堆白骨

1306
01:25:11,607 --> 01:25:14,053
我的怨氣到現在還沒有散

1307
01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:22,186
其實我只是一堆白骨

1308
01:25:24,036 --> 01:25:25,230
對不起

1309
01:26:09,707 --> 01:26:11,652
出事了 師父掛了 不用取經了

1310
01:26:11,792 --> 01:26:13,111
太好了

1311
01:26:42,281 --> 01:26:43,851
全部搞定了

1312
01:26:44,200 --> 01:26:46,054
九宮真人 你真厲害

1313
01:26:47,953 --> 01:26:49,978
這隻猴子魔性大發

1314
01:26:50,080 --> 01:26:51,775
現在牠連師父也吃了

1315
01:26:53,876 --> 01:26:56,026
如來這次肯定被氣死

1316
01:26:56,128 --> 01:26:57,322
解說完了嗎

1317
01:26:59,757 --> 01:27:02,237
本宮有一個夢想

1318
01:27:02,676 --> 01:27:03,574
就是要令世間

1319
01:27:03,677 --> 01:27:05,747
所有虛偽醜陋的面目

1320
01:27:05,846 --> 01:27:07,495
原形畢露

1321
01:27:08,849 --> 01:27:10,498
小善 不用躲

1322
01:27:10,601 --> 01:27:12,501
來來來 出來

1323
01:27:12,811 --> 01:27:14,631
你這齣離間計演得不錯

1324
01:27:15,189 --> 01:27:17,840
本宮知道你對唐僧也動了真情

1325
01:27:17,942 --> 01:27:19,921
也算是隨心隨性

1326
01:27:20,527 --> 01:27:24,258
這正是本宮所提倡的大無上智慧

1327
01:27:26,075 --> 01:27:28,976
這一大佗就是傳說中的齊天大聖

1328
01:27:29,578 --> 01:27:31,148
好可愛啊

1329
01:27:31,247 --> 01:27:33,647
來 吃不吃啊

1330
01:27:41,465 --> 01:27:44,411
好 養起來以後慢慢玩

1331
01:27:45,094 --> 01:27:45,947
好

1332
01:27:46,053 --> 01:27:46,826
六隻手

1333
01:27:46,929 --> 01:27:50,126
一二三四五六

1334
01:27:52,726 --> 01:27:54,205
到我了

1335
01:28:08,367 --> 01:28:10,141
什麼妖魔之王

1336
01:28:10,494 --> 01:28:12,268
我隨便咳了兩聲

1337
01:28:12,371 --> 01:28:14,225
就把你嚇得腿軟了

1338
01:28:16,583 --> 01:28:17,607
還不叫主人

1339
01:28:18,502 --> 01:28:20,072
你乖乖聽話吧

1340
01:28:20,170 --> 01:28:21,899
否則 家法伺候

1341
01:28:49,658 --> 01:28:51,558
你終於露出狐狸尾巴了

1342
01:28:52,161 --> 01:28:53,105
哪有

1343
01:28:53,203 --> 01:28:54,977
我的尾巴都藏好了

1344
01:28:56,040 --> 01:28:57,143
和尚

1345
01:28:57,541 --> 01:28:59,771
是你的尾巴露出來了

1346
01:28:59,877 --> 01:29:01,947
你跟白骨精卿卿我我的樣子

1347
01:29:02,629 --> 01:29:03,982
動了凡心吧

1348
01:29:04,214 --> 01:29:06,159
小善她善性未泯

1349
01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:08,954
我要超渡她向善 讓她投胎做人

1350
01:29:09,428 --> 01:29:10,452
你有離間計

1351
01:29:10,846 --> 01:29:12,746
我們也有反間計

1352
01:29:12,931 --> 01:29:16,412
傳說中白骨精的妖氣是無人能看出

1353
01:29:16,518 --> 01:29:17,496
你以為找到她

1354
01:29:17,603 --> 01:29:19,582
就可以離間我們師徒倆

1355
01:29:19,938 --> 01:29:22,589
你太低估悟空的金睛火眼了

1356
01:29:22,691 --> 01:29:25,387
整條村子都是白骨精變出來的幻象

1357
01:29:25,486 --> 01:29:26,635
我們早就知道了

1358
01:29:27,279 --> 01:29:30,476
我們裝作不知 順著這場戲演下去

1359
01:29:30,574 --> 01:29:32,769
就是要讓你這個幕後黑手現身

1360
01:29:32,868 --> 01:29:33,471
九宮

1361
01:29:33,577 --> 01:29:35,272
再告訴你一件事

1362
01:29:35,746 --> 01:29:37,600
其實我是很聰明的

1363
01:29:43,962 --> 01:29:45,532
聰明

1364
01:29:45,631 --> 01:29:48,031
笨和尚也有大智慧

1365
01:29:49,676 --> 01:29:52,327
憑你們幾個又能把我怎麼著

1366
01:29:54,598 --> 01:29:55,701
打他

1367
01:29:56,433 --> 01:29:57,786
打他

1368
01:30:43,689 --> 01:30:46,260
師父 捉住我的尾巴

1369
01:30:50,487 --> 01:30:51,556
小善

1370
01:30:51,655 --> 01:30:53,509
危險 快躲好

1371
01:30:56,285 --> 01:30:58,606
我是齊天大聖

1372
01:30:58,954 --> 01:31:00,979
妖精 看你怎麼逃

1373
01:31:07,463 --> 01:31:10,239
臭猴子 這麼一個笨和尚

1374
01:31:10,340 --> 01:31:12,035
值得你為他賣命嗎

1375
01:31:13,010 --> 01:31:14,329
師父她揭你老底

1376
01:31:14,428 --> 01:31:15,781
她說你笨

1377
01:31:15,971 --> 01:31:18,326
你別聽她亂說 其實我很聰明的

1378
01:31:19,183 --> 01:31:20,332
接招

1379
01:31:20,893 --> 01:31:21,962
擋我

1380
01:31:22,436 --> 01:31:23,585
擋得了嗎

1381
01:31:29,693 --> 01:31:30,887
孫悟空

1382
01:31:31,111 --> 01:31:32,635
你的克星來了

1383
01:31:51,798 --> 01:31:53,026
如來佛祖

1384
01:31:53,342 --> 01:31:56,288
如來都請來了 九宮你好大的面子

1385
01:32:08,524 --> 01:32:09,718
沒可能的

1386
01:32:09,942 --> 01:32:11,136
他是假的

1387
01:32:11,235 --> 01:32:14,011
對啊 鼻子和下巴好像動過

1388
01:32:14,112 --> 01:32:15,591
孫悟空

1389
01:32:16,198 --> 01:32:18,473
你不是見識過如來的威力嗎

1390
01:32:18,617 --> 01:32:20,266
來驗驗貨就知道了

1391
01:32:22,829 --> 01:32:25,434
好 看我定海神針

1392
01:32:35,425 --> 01:32:38,451
水再大 也大不過東海

1393
01:33:04,246 --> 01:33:06,601
師父 躲到我耳朵裏

1394
01:33:51,293 --> 01:33:52,521
兩個如來

1395
01:34:27,162 --> 01:34:28,766
悟空 悟空

1396
01:35:52,873 --> 01:35:54,977
九頭金雕

1397
01:35:55,083 --> 01:35:57,483
你在我身邊練法修行

1398
01:35:58,545 --> 01:36:00,740
但是一點悟性都沒有

1399
01:36:01,506 --> 01:36:05,237
難怪亂闖人間散播歪理

1400
01:36:06,720 --> 01:36:07,994
如來

1401
01:36:08,096 --> 01:36:09,825
我為你而生

1402
01:36:09,931 --> 01:36:12,877
這麼多年來我在你身邊

1403
01:36:13,393 --> 01:36:15,497
可你沒有正眼看過我一次

1404
01:36:15,771 --> 01:36:16,999
無需多言

1405
01:36:18,356 --> 01:36:21,302
九頭金雕 現形

1406
01:37:01,066 --> 01:37:02,465
你要振作 小善

1407
01:37:02,901 --> 01:37:04,596
我現在幫你驅除魔性

1408
01:37:06,321 --> 01:37:07,891
魔性太重

1409
01:37:08,156 --> 01:37:09,726
就算救了我

1410
01:37:10,033 --> 01:37:12,183
也難保我不會害人

1411
01:37:12,702 --> 01:37:14,021
你是伏妖高僧

1412
01:37:14,538 --> 01:37:15,891
我是妖

1413
01:37:16,331 --> 01:37:17,901
超渡我

1414
01:37:20,961 --> 01:37:22,030
她說得對

1415
01:37:22,504 --> 01:37:25,610
她怨恨太深 只能灰飛煙滅

1416
01:37:28,176 --> 01:37:29,450
小善

1417
01:37:30,262 --> 01:37:33,959
世上最難過的 是情關

1418
01:37:36,768 --> 01:37:40,295
她 在你心裏

1419
01:37:40,397 --> 01:37:42,217
是無比地重要

1420
01:37:42,649 --> 01:37:43,877
如果

1421
01:37:44,818 --> 01:37:48,800
我也可以給你留一點點回憶的話

1422
01:37:48,905 --> 01:37:50,224
就心滿意足了

1423
01:37:55,412 --> 01:37:56,731
不要看著我

1424
01:37:56,830 --> 01:37:58,650
這種事你自己來吧

1425
01:37:58,748 --> 01:38:01,103
免得日後你又怪我殺了你的妞

1426
01:38:01,877 --> 01:38:03,071
走了

1427
01:38:07,716 --> 01:38:09,069
其實我

1428
01:38:09,426 --> 01:38:11,530
真的愛上了你

1429
01:38:13,013 --> 01:38:15,208
你有沒有愛過我一點點

1430
01:38:18,435 --> 01:38:19,584
對不起

1431
01:38:20,020 --> 01:38:21,373
我心裏面

1432
01:38:22,022 --> 01:38:23,876
再容納不了第二個了

1433
01:38:25,567 --> 01:38:27,341
我覺得我真的好傻

1434
01:38:28,737 --> 01:38:29,886
明知沒有

1435
01:38:30,155 --> 01:38:31,383
還要問

1436
01:38:35,994 --> 01:38:37,188
小善

1437
01:38:39,581 --> 01:38:41,105
我要送你上路了

1438
01:39:37,472 --> 01:39:39,451
師父 聊兩句

1439
01:39:39,557 --> 01:39:42,128
你到底有沒有對小善姑娘動過情啊

1440
01:39:44,479 --> 01:39:45,798
我問你啊

1441
01:39:46,231 --> 01:39:48,631
你到底有沒有對小善動過情啊

1442
01:39:50,485 --> 01:39:51,588
當然沒有了

1443
01:39:51,695 --> 01:39:53,265
我心裏只有你一個人

1444
01:39:53,655 --> 01:39:54,758
只有我一個

1445
01:39:54,990 --> 01:39:55,843
大師兄

1446
01:39:55,949 --> 01:39:58,304
其實你頭上的金剛箍是段小姐的

1447
01:39:58,410 --> 01:39:59,513
師父是追憶成狂

1448
01:39:59,619 --> 01:40:01,223
整天把你當成段小姐

1449
01:40:01,329 --> 01:40:03,479
你看他嘴角含春又來了

1450
01:40:04,124 --> 01:40:05,398
不是吧

1451
01:40:08,044 --> 01:40:09,648
不是吧

1452
01:40:11,006 --> 01:40:13,156
你不是連我也不信吧

1453
01:40:17,220 --> 01:40:20,371
有沒有動過情 你還沒回答我

1454
01:40:21,141 --> 01:40:24,042
當然沒有了 你這麼問是多餘的

1455
01:40:24,144 --> 01:40:25,668
你真覺得我會說有嗎

1456
01:40:25,770 --> 01:40:27,214
為什麼你們老是要這樣問

1457
01:40:27,313 --> 01:40:29,463
那就是有了 賤人

1458
01:40:29,733 --> 01:40:30,802
賤人

1459
01:40:39,117 --> 01:40:41,017
這樣不是辦法 先拿回金剛箍

1460
01:40:41,119 --> 01:40:42,563
免得再給她追問

1461
01:40:43,955 --> 01:40:45,183
你幹嘛

1462
01:40:45,582 --> 01:40:46,651
把箍還給我

1463
01:40:46,750 --> 01:40:48,604
你給了我 就是我的了

1464
01:40:48,710 --> 01:40:50,985
不合適你 你戴得好難看

1465
01:40:51,087 --> 01:40:52,907
你早說 我就還給你

1466
01:40:53,006 --> 01:40:54,530
那你給啊 你還走

1467
01:40:54,632 --> 01:40:56,532
說了給你 是不是不信我

1468
01:40:56,634 --> 01:40:58,283
你不要再說了 你給我吧

1469
01:40:58,386 --> 01:40:59,239
我還沒給你嗎

1470
01:40:59,345 --> 01:41:01,245
你沒給 只是嘴上說給我

1471
01:41:01,347 --> 01:41:02,746
是啊 我說了給你的

1472
01:41:02,849 --> 01:41:05,249
對啊 你只是一直說但從來沒給我

1473
01:41:05,351 --> 01:41:06,830
有這樣的事 不是吧

1474
01:41:06,936 --> 01:41:08,540
是真的 你信我一次好不好

1475
01:41:08,646 --> 01:41:09,169
我不信

1476
01:47:57,889 --> 01:47:58,708
走吧

1477
01:47:58,806 --> 01:48:00,660
等等 還有彩蛋看

1478
01:48:00,766 --> 01:48:02,745
沒有彩蛋啊 不要等啦

1479
01:48:02,852 --> 01:48:04,422
請帶齊隨身物品

1480
01:48:04,520 --> 01:48:06,590
多謝大家 出口在那邊

1481
01:48:07,106 --> 01:48:09,461
大片一定有彩蛋的

1482
01:48:09,567 --> 01:48:11,171
不是大片

1483
01:48:11,277 --> 01:48:12,756
所以沒有彩蛋

1484
01:48:14,238 --> 01:48:15,512
我再重複一次

1485
01:48:15,615 --> 01:48:16,968
不是大片

1486
01:48:17,283 --> 01:48:18,682
沒有彩蛋

1487
01:48:19,535 --> 01:48:21,105
如果是大片

1488
01:48:21,829 --> 01:48:23,103
又怎會沒有彩蛋呢