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ASTERIX & THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
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The year is 50 B.C.
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All of Gaul is under Roman occupation.
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All of it?
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No!
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One village of indomitable Gauls
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keeps up the good fight
against the invader.
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And life is not easy
for the Roman legionaries
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in their camps at Totorum,
Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.
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What I love in life
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Is wandering day and night
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In the forest what's really fun
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Is going for a wander with my chum
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It rhymes.
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Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy.
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Too much meat.
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- Too much meat?
- Sure.
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Wild boar for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
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Supper, too!
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Not to mention ale.
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It can't be good for us.
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What else is there to eat?
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I don't know.
We could try balancing it out with...
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vegetables.
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Veg...
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Vegetables?
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You make me laugh, Asterix.
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Hear him, Dogmatix?
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Imagine chewing a stick of celery,
not a bone!
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Vegetables!
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You can laugh.
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I honestly don't see the point
of ruining our health.
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Same with the magic potion.
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Could be, it's bad for our systems.
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Where's the data, honestly? Where?
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Above all, do we really need it?
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You okay?
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No, I'm not okay.
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I'm just saying,
throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms...
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Chestnuts!
When they're in season, obviously.
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You snagged one already.
Leave the poor things alone.
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Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas!
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Ave! Sorry, we're lost.
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Who knew we're so near the village?
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Me. I kept telling you.
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- Didn't.
- Did.
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And you said, "To hell with the Gauls!"
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"They get up my nose."
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"They can shove their menhirs."
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I'm a terrible liar.
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Leave this to me.
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I'll show you I don't need this.
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Strength is here.
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And here.
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Take a seat, sit tight and enjoy the show.
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Hello.
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Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet.
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You plan to step in?
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No, not allowed.
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Help me, silly!
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Harder!
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Not fair!
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Cheat!
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Not at all. Without it, same result.
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You don't have to.
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I do.
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{\an8}THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
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Where is everyone?
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It's hardly fresh.
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- And you are?
- What?
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No, nothing.
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{\an8}Getafix, he won't let me
smoke my boar in the house.
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{\an8}Just because
Mr. Asterix has decided to quit
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doesn't mean I have to.
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Panacea!
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Panacea!
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Morning, girls.
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- Coming to the market?
- Yes!
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Hi, Panacea.
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Hi, Obelix.
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I just wanted to say...
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I carved this menhir thinking of you.
It's a gift.
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Sweet, but what use is it to me?
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See you.
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She refused it.
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She refused my menhir.
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Obviously. It weighs a ton.
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What use is it? Put it on her finger?
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Getafix, your sickle.
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Thanks, Fulliautomatix.
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Slow down.
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Say...
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{\an8}Asterix has the right to change his diet.
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{\an8}Not everyone else's.
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Getafix, what's wrong?
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I'm sinking.
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You're sinking?
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It must be quicksand.
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There is no quicksand in the region.
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If you ask me, someone needs to know.
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{\an8}Chariot ahoy!
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{\an8}Chariot ahoy!
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{\an8}Excuse me.
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{\an8}Some nights, my voice just wants to scream
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Shut it, will you!
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{\an8}For once, I had a customer.
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{\an8}For once, you have fresh fish!
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What? My fish isn't fresh?
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{\an8}I'll take a look.
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{\an8}for Louise and Marcel
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Hold still.
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Bankruptis, already here? It's not autumn.
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You were hit?
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- Where's your uncle?
- Quiet, for goodness' sake!
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My friends, how are you?
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I come from China to ask for help.
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It's nuts!
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Why are you blond?
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I was going to say.
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I'm a Gaul, all right? Always have been.
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Please... No slip-ups.
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No slip-ups, I'm begging you.
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I'll explain. Come on.
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That one...
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The beautiful girl fast asleep
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is a princess.
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Named Sa See.
Daughter of the Empress of China.
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You do know where China is?
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- Two princesses!
- Actually, no.
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That's her bodyguard. Ka Ra Tay.
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Believe me, she's insane.
Smashed everyone on the way.
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She smashed Scythians,
smashed Parthians, smashed Huns!
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A beautiful woman.
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A female bodyguard? Don't make me laugh!
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Go ahead, laugh.
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Share with us your Alpha male experience.
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Alpha male, just try to touch her.
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- Be my guest.
- All right.
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There you go!
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You drank potion?
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No.
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I don't get it.
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I get what's going on.
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And you'd better stop right now.
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Princess and I are more than friends, see?
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- You are?
- We are.
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Princess...
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We have arrived.
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What is all this?
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- It's the chief!
- Run!
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Vitalstatistix is chief of all us Gauls.
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Glad to see you, by Toutatis!
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Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis?
His silk scarves are too small.
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Really?
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He said they'd loosen up. I look loose?
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- No.
- He's a crook!
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He sent me. Let me explain.
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Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See,
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daughter of the Empress of China.
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Who's she?
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- Thanks, Bankruptis.
- You're welcome.
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Great Chief Vitalstatistix,
let me explain the reasons for my visit.
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Getafix, is China far?
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Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way.
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Since the Princess's story
could be very, very long,
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and not devoid of emotion,
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allow me to give you a potted version.
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The Princess lives with her mother,
the Empress,
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who reigns with difficulty,
since her husband's death,
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over her nation's six kingdoms.
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Beloved by her people, the Empress
is confronted by ambitious princes
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who secretly covet her throne.
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The trouble began
on the birthday of Princess Sa See,
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whom you met in the village.
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So this is a flashback.
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Another vase?
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Each year, same deal.
Who's interested in Chinese vases?
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I'm 20 today, and never left this palace.
Just gardens and guards!
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Sa See, for your security, you know...
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Father promised to take me to Lutetia.
Its shops, its taverns...
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I want to see Gaul.
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We discussed this.
It's dangerous to travel so far.
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The answer is no.
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Here, open this one.
185
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It's a coin with your head on it.
Newly minted.
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To buy a dress in Lutetia?
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Sa See!
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00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:16,206
Prince Deng Tsin Quin...
189
00:12:19,664 --> 00:12:22,372
I hear you raised taxes again
in your kingdom,
190
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while your people endure famine.
191
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If I may, Your Majesty,
192
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Julius Caesar levied taxes
across the Roman world, and it works!
193
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No pain, no pleasure,
as they say back home.
194
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Who is he?
195
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Scar Dee Kat, my new strategic advisor.
196
00:12:36,956 --> 00:12:39,831
In Rome, he wielded power and influence.
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Put the Chinese people
before bad Roman advice.
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Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty.
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Before I leave,
200
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have you considered my marriage proposal?
201
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I spoke with Princess Sa See.
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And?
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It made us laugh.
204
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Make a woman laugh and...
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Sorry.
206
00:13:04,872 --> 00:13:07,497
If it made Your Majesty
and her daughter laugh,
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00:13:07,497 --> 00:13:08,872
then so be it.
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Ka Ra Tay...
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My faithful warrior,
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fetch my daughter.
211
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This is China.
212
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The Chinese love all things Gaul,
so we're Gauls. Simple.
213
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,164
For a Phoenician,
it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis.
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Ekonomikrisix!
215
00:13:56,581 --> 00:13:58,664
Get it into your head!
216
00:13:58,664 --> 00:14:01,081
You guys are Premix and Overmix.
217
00:14:01,581 --> 00:14:02,956
We are Gauls.
218
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Gotix?
219
00:14:03,956 --> 00:14:05,872
As usual, we make all the efforts.
220
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Only you?
221
00:14:10,664 --> 00:14:12,289
Laugh? You're laughing?
222
00:14:12,289 --> 00:14:14,581
Am I laughing about going blond?
223
00:14:15,247 --> 00:14:17,789
Grab those papyri
and hit the streets. Move!
224
00:14:17,789 --> 00:14:19,914
Go, yalla! I mean, let's go.
225
00:14:19,914 --> 00:14:21,914
Put those helmets on! There!
226
00:14:22,497 --> 00:14:23,539
Let's go!
227
00:14:23,539 --> 00:14:24,872
China is ours!
228
00:14:26,539 --> 00:14:27,622
No snooping.
229
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You need help?
230
00:14:29,664 --> 00:14:31,206
Touch it, buy it. Golden rule.
231
00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:33,414
They're genuine Louboutix?
232
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:35,122
"They're genuine Louboutix?"
233
00:14:35,122 --> 00:14:37,831
Of course they are. Look at the sole!
234
00:14:37,831 --> 00:14:41,706
As red as the price tag.
If you can't afford them, try Diskountos.
235
00:14:43,414 --> 00:14:46,414
Give my stall some space. Scram!
236
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You nincompoop!
237
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Sorry, Her Majesty.
238
00:14:50,831 --> 00:14:52,456
Sorry for my nephew.
239
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He has his mother's temper.
240
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True, everybody says so.
241
00:14:56,622 --> 00:14:59,622
Of course, for you,
sandals are on the house.
242
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I'll take them out of his wages.
243
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- That hurt.
- Yup. Your fault.
244
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Ekonomikrisix, at your service.
245
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No one shakes hands here.
246
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- No one.
- Not one.
247
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A most regrettable mistake, Princess.
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Gorgeous.
249
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Bankruptix, the nephew.
250
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I have my mother's temper.
251
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As well as...
252
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her eyes.
253
00:15:26,997 --> 00:15:28,622
I envy you your blond hair.
254
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I had no choice, Princess.
I was born this way.
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Nature decided for me.
256
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Your Imperial Majesty,
257
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if you'd care to forgive us
and taste our famous nectar from Gaul,
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the honour's all ours.
259
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Come in.
260
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A great vintage.
261
00:15:47,289 --> 00:15:50,456
To celebrate
the great and majestic empress.
262
00:15:51,956 --> 00:15:53,622
On the nose, fruity notes.
263
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There's sunshine.
264
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There's pine and shade.
265
00:15:57,664 --> 00:15:59,872
I'm getting hints of chestnut.
266
00:15:59,872 --> 00:16:01,081
Bananas.
267
00:16:01,081 --> 00:16:02,747
And dates.
268
00:16:02,747 --> 00:16:05,872
Overall, more fruit salad than wine.
269
00:16:10,164 --> 00:16:11,497
I want Gaul of it
270
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,122
I'll take the lot.
271
00:16:25,539 --> 00:16:26,789
Perfumes from Gaul?
272
00:16:26,789 --> 00:16:28,706
But of course, Princess.
273
00:16:28,706 --> 00:16:30,706
All our perfumes come from Gaul.
274
00:16:30,706 --> 00:16:32,247
Like me and my sales team.
275
00:16:33,581 --> 00:16:35,331
This is the latest creation
276
00:16:35,331 --> 00:16:38,247
that every Gaul lady
would die for. Amphor.
277
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:39,789
Amphor?
278
00:16:40,289 --> 00:16:41,372
I adore!
279
00:16:41,372 --> 00:16:42,706
I adore, too.
280
00:16:42,706 --> 00:16:44,122
Archers! Loose!
281
00:16:44,122 --> 00:16:45,164
Watch out!
282
00:16:53,122 --> 00:16:54,539
Sa See, are you hurt?
283
00:16:54,539 --> 00:16:55,956
No, mother, I'm fine.
284
00:16:55,956 --> 00:16:56,872
Anything broken?
285
00:16:56,872 --> 00:16:58,664
No, I'm fine.
286
00:16:58,664 --> 00:17:00,039
I meant the stock.
287
00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:01,122
Nice.
288
00:17:01,122 --> 00:17:02,539
Hey, Empress!
289
00:17:02,539 --> 00:17:03,872
Come out, hands up!
290
00:17:03,872 --> 00:17:06,081
And no one will get hurt.
291
00:17:06,622 --> 00:17:07,706
You're encircled.
292
00:17:07,706 --> 00:17:09,039
And slanted!
293
00:17:11,289 --> 00:17:14,081
You said "encircled",
like eyes with makeup.
294
00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:15,539
And I added "And..."
295
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:20,997
There's another exit?
296
00:17:20,997 --> 00:17:22,664
Yes. My secret passage.
297
00:17:22,664 --> 00:17:24,622
In case customs raid...
298
00:17:24,622 --> 00:17:26,372
I mean, in case of fire.
299
00:17:26,372 --> 00:17:28,081
It's the fire escape.
300
00:17:28,956 --> 00:17:31,206
Ka Ra Tay, take my daughter and go.
301
00:17:31,206 --> 00:17:32,997
No, Mother. Flee with us.
302
00:17:32,997 --> 00:17:35,122
The Empress of China does not flee. Go!
303
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:36,747
The traitor wants you.
304
00:17:37,247 --> 00:17:38,081
Let's go.
305
00:17:39,872 --> 00:17:41,247
- Bye, Princess.
- Stop it!
306
00:17:41,247 --> 00:17:44,456
I'll stay. A good merchant
never abandons his merchandise.
307
00:17:44,456 --> 00:17:45,914
Like a ship's captain.
308
00:17:47,872 --> 00:17:49,247
Go home and fetch the others.
309
00:17:49,247 --> 00:17:50,622
What? Uncle Mahmood?
310
00:17:50,622 --> 00:17:52,456
No! Our other home.
311
00:17:52,456 --> 00:17:53,831
- That home?
- That home!
312
00:17:53,831 --> 00:17:54,872
It's miles away!
313
00:17:54,872 --> 00:17:55,997
So get going!
314
00:17:57,122 --> 00:17:58,081
No, wait!
315
00:17:58,747 --> 00:18:00,456
Take good care of the princess.
316
00:18:00,456 --> 00:18:01,997
We are not losing this sale.
317
00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:05,497
Just imagine.
You're saving the Princess of China.
318
00:18:13,081 --> 00:18:14,456
I'll work it out later.
319
00:18:14,456 --> 00:18:15,664
Take care, Unc!
320
00:18:20,706 --> 00:18:22,831
I trained in Phoenician boxing.
321
00:18:22,831 --> 00:18:23,914
Leave this to me.
322
00:18:24,872 --> 00:18:27,122
So you guys are harassing the ladies?
323
00:18:32,622 --> 00:18:34,497
I went in there and...
324
00:18:35,664 --> 00:18:36,831
What happened?
325
00:18:36,831 --> 00:18:38,622
You got kicked in the head.
326
00:18:39,289 --> 00:18:41,039
All right, I get it now.
327
00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:43,164
So who's laughing now, Empress?
328
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,372
Excuse me a second, who are you?
329
00:18:45,372 --> 00:18:48,664
I don't get any of this.
I'm confused, totally lost.
330
00:18:49,706 --> 00:18:51,706
- Well?
- The Princess has vanished.
331
00:18:51,706 --> 00:18:54,164
If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie!
332
00:18:54,664 --> 00:18:56,622
A shifty little fish!
333
00:18:57,789 --> 00:18:58,831
Scour the kingdom!
334
00:18:58,831 --> 00:19:00,372
Offer a handsome reward!
335
00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:03,622
I want her alive
at our magnificent forced marriage!
336
00:19:06,206 --> 00:19:07,456
I know my daughter.
337
00:19:07,956 --> 00:19:09,372
She'll come for revenge.
338
00:19:09,372 --> 00:19:12,622
Scary!
A spoilt little girl who never left home.
339
00:19:12,622 --> 00:19:14,789
- That's my wife you're talking about.
- Sorry.
340
00:19:14,789 --> 00:19:18,789
I'm sorry too.
I'm so confused, totally lost!
341
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:20,789
I'll have you beheaded, Empress.
342
00:19:20,789 --> 00:19:23,789
No, there'll be no beheading.
It's rude, sir.
343
00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:26,581
Yes, Deng Tsin Quin,
you can't kill the Empress.
344
00:19:26,581 --> 00:19:27,956
What?
345
00:19:27,956 --> 00:19:31,206
It's tricky.
The other four kingdoms' princes hate you.
346
00:19:31,206 --> 00:19:33,706
They claim you're not Emperor material.
347
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:36,997
They say you are
"physically unbecoming with a tiny..."
348
00:19:36,997 --> 00:19:38,664
- Nonsense.
- No, army!
349
00:19:39,164 --> 00:19:41,581
A tiny army. The tiniest of all of them.
350
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:43,456
In combat, it's hopeless.
351
00:19:43,456 --> 00:19:46,206
Your impudence suggests you have a plan.
352
00:19:46,206 --> 00:19:47,456
Naturally.
353
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:49,664
My idea...
354
00:19:51,622 --> 00:19:53,414
Take them away! Let's go!
355
00:19:53,414 --> 00:19:54,706
Take it easy!
356
00:19:54,706 --> 00:19:57,497
Easy! Mind the Empress and my wares.
357
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,497
China is ours!
358
00:20:31,414 --> 00:20:32,956
Princess, it'll be fine.
359
00:20:32,956 --> 00:20:34,081
I'm here for you.
360
00:20:35,247 --> 00:20:36,331
I'm here.
361
00:20:38,331 --> 00:20:39,872
Don't worry. We'll help you.
362
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:43,581
Everyone knows that we Gauls
just love to help.
363
00:20:43,581 --> 00:20:44,497
No!
364
00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:48,081
Not a chance.
365
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,914
Was it just me or did her story drag on?
366
00:20:52,289 --> 00:20:56,372
By Benelos, how come folks
always come asking us for help?
367
00:20:57,039 --> 00:20:58,372
Vitalstatistix,
368
00:20:58,372 --> 00:20:59,747
it's a tradition
369
00:20:59,747 --> 00:21:01,872
for us to help those in need.
370
00:21:02,456 --> 00:21:04,539
Not forgetting Bankrup...
371
00:21:05,247 --> 00:21:06,164
Tis.
372
00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:07,539
Bankruptix.
373
00:21:08,081 --> 00:21:09,497
The answer's no. There!
374
00:21:09,497 --> 00:21:11,039
It's often been yes.
375
00:21:11,039 --> 00:21:11,956
But it's no.
376
00:21:12,622 --> 00:21:14,039
I'm not feeling it.
377
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,539
China's unknown to us.
378
00:21:15,539 --> 00:21:17,289
We don't know where it is.
379
00:21:17,289 --> 00:21:18,247
Sure we do.
380
00:21:18,247 --> 00:21:19,331
Even I know.
381
00:21:19,831 --> 00:21:22,497
It's the way where the sun rises.
382
00:21:23,247 --> 00:21:24,497
Stumped him.
383
00:21:24,997 --> 00:21:26,706
I don't know and I decide.
384
00:21:26,706 --> 00:21:28,789
Great Chief, I respect your decision.
385
00:21:28,789 --> 00:21:31,289
I depart to save my mother and country.
386
00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:32,622
Princess!
387
00:21:35,331 --> 00:21:36,539
I'm up for it.
388
00:21:37,081 --> 00:21:39,831
And anyway, I'm free right now.
389
00:21:40,997 --> 00:21:42,289
I'm free too.
390
00:21:42,289 --> 00:21:44,081
I want to go too.
391
00:21:44,081 --> 00:21:46,247
You two! Who's in the chair?
392
00:21:47,539 --> 00:21:48,914
You're chief now?
393
00:21:49,497 --> 00:21:51,372
Discussion over. It's no.
394
00:21:51,372 --> 00:21:53,372
Are you out of your mind?
395
00:21:54,081 --> 00:21:55,664
Some village chief!
396
00:21:56,164 --> 00:21:58,039
Ignoring a damsel's tears.
397
00:21:58,039 --> 00:22:00,039
- Mimenta...
- Don't Mimenta me!
398
00:22:00,039 --> 00:22:02,914
- Welcome our Chinese friends!
- Yup.
399
00:22:03,497 --> 00:22:04,539
You and your Gaul!
400
00:22:05,289 --> 00:22:06,831
All because it's too far?
401
00:22:06,831 --> 00:22:08,664
As if you'd be going!
402
00:22:10,039 --> 00:22:12,456
No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual.
403
00:22:14,039 --> 00:22:16,414
If some idiot writes our history one day,
404
00:22:16,414 --> 00:22:19,872
the title will never be
The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul.
405
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,622
Dogmatix travels more than you.
406
00:22:22,456 --> 00:22:23,581
Hear that, Dogmatix?
407
00:22:26,372 --> 00:22:27,581
Stones fired!
408
00:22:27,581 --> 00:22:30,997
Magic potion for the boys
in the village, you're in.
409
00:22:30,997 --> 00:22:33,456
But anything more delicate, you're out?
410
00:22:42,664 --> 00:22:43,664
All right, go.
411
00:22:46,747 --> 00:22:48,497
Thank you. Heartfelt thanks.
412
00:22:49,289 --> 00:22:52,789
So you're starting on a journey
413
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:55,872
So we're parting tonight
414
00:22:57,914 --> 00:22:59,206
My heart has turned to...
415
00:22:59,206 --> 00:23:00,247
jelly
416
00:23:08,872 --> 00:23:12,831
Meanwhile, in the eternal,
beautifully irrigated city of Rome,
417
00:23:12,831 --> 00:23:15,956
Julius Caesar, in his magnificent palace,
418
00:23:15,956 --> 00:23:19,414
lives in domestic bliss
with the powerful Queen of Egypt,
419
00:23:19,414 --> 00:23:22,039
sublime, dulcet Cleopatra.
420
00:23:22,039 --> 00:23:23,706
I've had it up to here!
421
00:23:23,706 --> 00:23:26,581
Know what? I've had it up to here!
422
00:23:31,872 --> 00:23:33,331
May I ask what you're doing?
423
00:23:33,331 --> 00:23:35,872
Packing my trunks and heading home.
424
00:23:35,872 --> 00:23:37,581
Why didn't I listen to Mummy?
425
00:23:39,081 --> 00:23:41,914
Now it's over, I can tell you.
There's another man.
426
00:23:41,914 --> 00:23:43,372
What do you mean?
427
00:23:44,997 --> 00:23:46,456
You can't be serious.
428
00:23:47,789 --> 00:23:49,872
What do you mean, another man?
429
00:23:50,539 --> 00:23:53,247
What is this? Infidelitatis?
430
00:23:53,247 --> 00:23:54,206
Nailed it.
431
00:23:56,331 --> 00:23:57,247
And...
432
00:23:58,789 --> 00:24:01,664
May I ask
for whom you leave mighty Caesar?
433
00:24:03,039 --> 00:24:04,247
Tabascos!
434
00:24:05,581 --> 00:24:06,414
Tabascos?
435
00:24:06,414 --> 00:24:07,539
The Greek?
436
00:24:11,164 --> 00:24:13,247
Tabascos the Greek!
437
00:24:13,247 --> 00:24:16,206
So you'd leave mighty Caesar
438
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:19,747
to shack up with a gym teacher?
439
00:24:21,372 --> 00:24:24,164
Well, we'll discuss this after the lions.
440
00:24:25,164 --> 00:24:27,122
I forbid you to harm him.
441
00:24:28,164 --> 00:24:29,747
I love him, you hear?
442
00:24:30,497 --> 00:24:31,456
You love him?
443
00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,081
You love him?
444
00:24:35,622 --> 00:24:36,914
What's he got that I don't?
445
00:24:36,914 --> 00:24:39,247
He's an international gymnast.
446
00:24:39,247 --> 00:24:41,831
Outside Rome and Gaul,
you're a complete unknown.
447
00:24:43,956 --> 00:24:46,039
A complete unknown? Julius Caesar?
448
00:24:46,664 --> 00:24:50,456
Fine. You have international ambitions?
Go with your athlete.
449
00:24:50,456 --> 00:24:53,122
{\an8}Let the Greek tsat your ziki!
450
00:24:54,831 --> 00:24:56,664
May I, O Caesar?
451
00:24:56,664 --> 00:24:59,414
Minor marital contretemps. All settled.
452
00:25:00,206 --> 00:25:04,206
Speak, Slius Foxxus,
devious and unsightly advisor of mine.
453
00:25:04,206 --> 00:25:05,122
Ave, Caesar!
454
00:25:05,122 --> 00:25:07,914
Your perspicacity captures me perfectly.
455
00:25:16,206 --> 00:25:18,081
May I introduce Scar Dee Kat,
456
00:25:18,081 --> 00:25:22,539
envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
the new master of China.
457
00:25:22,539 --> 00:25:26,206
How does an empire so big
have an advisor so small?
458
00:25:26,789 --> 00:25:29,497
Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar.
459
00:25:29,497 --> 00:25:31,247
Some men have neither.
460
00:25:34,497 --> 00:25:35,664
She's a looker.
461
00:25:36,164 --> 00:25:37,039
Well, half-pint?
462
00:25:37,039 --> 00:25:41,081
I come to offer you
the riches of my adopted land
463
00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:43,581
in return for modest military support.
464
00:25:43,581 --> 00:25:47,206
Your land? Even great Alexander
abandoned the conquest of China.
465
00:25:47,206 --> 00:25:51,289
A great opportunity to expand my empire.
Your empire, O Caesar!
466
00:25:51,289 --> 00:25:53,497
I have conquered enough.
467
00:25:53,497 --> 00:25:56,872
My name will go down
in the annals of history.
468
00:25:56,872 --> 00:25:59,581
I love when you say that. Love it!
469
00:25:59,581 --> 00:26:01,914
What a way with words. Right?
470
00:26:01,914 --> 00:26:04,039
Biopix, my Gallician biographer.
471
00:26:04,039 --> 00:26:08,164
How inspiring is the fabulous tale
of almighty Caesar!
472
00:26:08,164 --> 00:26:09,664
Vade retro, both of you.
473
00:26:09,664 --> 00:26:11,289
Caesar, may I point out,
474
00:26:11,289 --> 00:26:13,081
in terms of going down in history,
475
00:26:13,581 --> 00:26:15,664
in China, you are unknown.
476
00:26:15,664 --> 00:26:17,247
What was I saying?
477
00:26:18,622 --> 00:26:20,497
That's quite enough!
478
00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:24,414
I, Julius Caesar,
man of a thousand conquests?
479
00:26:24,414 --> 00:26:25,789
Unknown?
480
00:26:25,789 --> 00:26:26,872
Alas!
481
00:26:38,706 --> 00:26:40,247
He speaks the truth.
482
00:26:40,247 --> 00:26:41,497
In China, at least.
483
00:26:41,497 --> 00:26:43,914
It's all good, don't worry.
484
00:26:44,414 --> 00:26:47,956
Scar Dee Kat, step forward
to discuss our alliance
485
00:26:48,456 --> 00:26:49,497
with your land
486
00:26:49,497 --> 00:26:51,789
that will soon know my name!
487
00:26:54,122 --> 00:26:57,622
Explain clearly.
Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad.
488
00:27:01,914 --> 00:27:04,456
I swapped your clunker
for something tougher.
489
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:07,747
That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable!
On loan from cousin Turbo.
490
00:27:08,331 --> 00:27:09,664
I added boar stomachs.
491
00:27:10,872 --> 00:27:13,372
A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks.
492
00:27:14,456 --> 00:27:15,581
The sunroof!
493
00:27:16,872 --> 00:27:18,039
You know what?
494
00:27:18,039 --> 00:27:19,497
I made a perfect chariot.
495
00:27:19,997 --> 00:27:20,914
Magnificent.
496
00:27:25,372 --> 00:27:26,247
Let's go!
497
00:27:27,872 --> 00:27:29,914
Princess, if you'd care to board.
498
00:27:34,164 --> 00:27:34,997
Too bad.
499
00:27:36,914 --> 00:27:38,247
We'll have a great trip.
500
00:27:40,081 --> 00:27:43,497
Asterix, I made you
a flask of magic potion,
501
00:27:43,497 --> 00:27:46,831
but Obelix tells me
you don't need it, so I...
502
00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:48,706
No, that's fine.
503
00:27:51,581 --> 00:27:52,747
But just in case.
504
00:27:54,331 --> 00:27:55,664
I'm cutting down.
505
00:27:55,664 --> 00:27:58,081
Watch out, I beefed it up.
506
00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:05,331
You had some?
507
00:28:06,581 --> 00:28:08,247
No, just a quick taste.
508
00:28:08,247 --> 00:28:09,622
Just to see.
509
00:28:12,331 --> 00:28:13,581
Good luck, Princess.
510
00:28:14,331 --> 00:28:15,206
As for you two,
511
00:28:15,706 --> 00:28:17,622
be brave, reckless
512
00:28:17,622 --> 00:28:20,122
and disingenuous. In a word...
513
00:28:20,622 --> 00:28:21,622
Be Gauls!
514
00:28:23,747 --> 00:28:24,789
Hold on tight.
515
00:28:25,289 --> 00:28:28,122
It'll be much faster than on the way here.
516
00:28:30,831 --> 00:28:33,247
Sorry but can I just point out,
517
00:28:33,914 --> 00:28:37,831
the bard's role is
to celebrate heroes and their exploits?
518
00:28:39,289 --> 00:28:41,539
If I never travel, what am I?
519
00:28:43,039 --> 00:28:43,956
Excellent idea.
520
00:28:44,872 --> 00:28:46,414
Cacophonix will go with...
521
00:28:51,456 --> 00:28:52,997
They forgot me.
522
00:28:53,831 --> 00:28:56,789
They forgot me!
523
00:29:02,372 --> 00:29:05,706
And so, at high speed,
our friends head south,
524
00:29:05,706 --> 00:29:09,289
favouring the maritime route that,
according to Getafix,
525
00:29:09,289 --> 00:29:11,289
is faster than the Silk Road.
526
00:29:12,039 --> 00:29:14,747
Having rowed across the Mediterranean,
527
00:29:14,747 --> 00:29:16,122
thanks to Obelix,
528
00:29:16,122 --> 00:29:18,331
they reach northern Africa.
529
00:29:24,914 --> 00:29:26,414
Rub and wring.
530
00:29:26,997 --> 00:29:28,872
Ka Ra Tay, I asked to learn kung fu.
531
00:29:31,747 --> 00:29:32,872
Rub...
532
00:29:33,914 --> 00:29:35,081
and wring.
533
00:29:42,039 --> 00:29:43,247
No, not again.
534
00:29:44,831 --> 00:29:46,747
All good? Enjoying the show?
535
00:29:46,747 --> 00:29:49,539
Want a beer? A chair? Coming right up.
536
00:29:50,664 --> 00:29:53,289
Not coming up! What are you doing?
537
00:29:53,289 --> 00:29:54,414
Same as you.
538
00:29:54,414 --> 00:29:56,247
She knows you peep?
539
00:29:56,247 --> 00:29:57,622
I might tell her.
540
00:30:01,331 --> 00:30:02,164
Sublime!
541
00:30:03,081 --> 00:30:04,872
She's learning to do laundry
542
00:30:04,872 --> 00:30:08,414
to prepare for her new, tougher life
in Gaul with me.
543
00:30:09,414 --> 00:30:12,164
A Chinese princess in Gaul?
With those hicks?
544
00:30:12,164 --> 00:30:13,247
Don't make me laugh.
545
00:30:13,747 --> 00:30:16,831
When I say Sa See and I are together,
you turn Deaf?
546
00:30:16,831 --> 00:30:20,164
- You're not together.
- We are together. Six months now.
547
00:30:20,164 --> 00:30:21,247
Really?
548
00:30:21,872 --> 00:30:23,122
No way!
549
00:30:23,122 --> 00:30:25,039
My friends, once and for all,
550
00:30:25,039 --> 00:30:28,081
Sa See and I are serious.
It's love. And marriage.
551
00:30:29,331 --> 00:30:31,414
- Congrats, Bankruptis.
- Thank you.
552
00:30:31,414 --> 00:30:33,247
I love weddings. Love them.
553
00:30:33,247 --> 00:30:35,164
- With a banquet?
- Of course.
554
00:30:35,164 --> 00:30:37,456
Know what? You'll be my best man.
555
00:30:38,456 --> 00:30:40,581
Thank you. I was never anyone's best man.
556
00:30:40,581 --> 00:30:43,581
Can you stop being so gullible?
557
00:30:43,581 --> 00:30:44,872
It gets annoying.
558
00:30:44,872 --> 00:30:47,497
- If they're in love, don't blame me.
- Yup.
559
00:30:47,497 --> 00:30:49,039
They're not in love.
560
00:30:49,039 --> 00:30:51,581
If Sa See isn't with anyone,
she's with no one.
561
00:30:51,581 --> 00:30:52,789
It's on.
562
00:30:52,789 --> 00:30:56,039
I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her
563
00:30:56,789 --> 00:30:58,997
you're a phony Gaul and fake blonde.
564
00:30:58,997 --> 00:31:03,414
Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her your moustache...
565
00:31:03,414 --> 00:31:04,914
What about it?
566
00:31:04,914 --> 00:31:06,164
Your moustache...
567
00:31:07,331 --> 00:31:08,372
sucks.
568
00:31:11,622 --> 00:31:12,539
So lame.
569
00:31:15,372 --> 00:31:16,289
I went too far.
570
00:31:16,289 --> 00:31:17,539
Not the moustache!
571
00:31:17,539 --> 00:31:19,122
I know, but he pushes me.
572
00:31:19,122 --> 00:31:20,997
Sure but not the moustache!
573
00:31:21,997 --> 00:31:22,914
What's he doing?
574
00:31:23,664 --> 00:31:25,914
Unbelievable! He's snitching on us!
575
00:31:25,914 --> 00:31:28,039
He's something else, your friend!
576
00:31:28,039 --> 00:31:29,081
She's coming our way.
577
00:31:31,831 --> 00:31:32,706
What's up?
578
00:31:32,706 --> 00:31:36,081
Nothing. We're just looking for a date.
579
00:31:37,122 --> 00:31:38,331
For the wedding.
580
00:31:38,331 --> 00:31:40,122
No, to eat. The fruit!
581
00:31:40,122 --> 00:31:41,164
At the wedding.
582
00:31:41,164 --> 00:31:42,539
No, to eat here.
583
00:31:42,539 --> 00:31:43,622
I'm the best man!
584
00:31:44,206 --> 00:31:46,789
He's impossible. He talks nonsense.
585
00:31:48,206 --> 00:31:49,331
Yes, let's go.
586
00:31:51,497 --> 00:31:53,497
Is it so hard to let me do the talking?
587
00:31:59,706 --> 00:32:01,206
'Night, Smartypants!
588
00:32:02,747 --> 00:32:04,331
'Night, Two-Faced Friend!
589
00:32:05,914 --> 00:32:07,122
'Night, Veggie Lover!
590
00:32:07,706 --> 00:32:10,372
Veggies are yummy. So yummy!
591
00:32:10,372 --> 00:32:12,081
'Night, Fake Blonde!
592
00:32:12,081 --> 00:32:14,581
Can't you just say goodnight?
593
00:32:15,622 --> 00:32:16,664
It was him.
594
00:32:16,664 --> 00:32:17,997
'Night, Ka Ra Tay.
595
00:32:24,247 --> 00:32:26,372
You think Mother's still alive?
596
00:32:26,372 --> 00:32:29,831
The Empress is
the daughter of the heavens.
597
00:32:30,331 --> 00:32:31,539
No harm can come to her.
598
00:32:35,372 --> 00:32:37,747
'Night, I'm In Love and can't admit it!
599
00:32:37,747 --> 00:32:41,539
'Night, Poppycock
who's so fat that he's all belly!
600
00:32:41,539 --> 00:32:45,331
'Night, Lonesome Gaul,
so alone like a tiny insect!
601
00:32:45,831 --> 00:32:47,497
- Enough!
- Yes.
602
00:32:47,497 --> 00:32:48,497
Sorry.
603
00:33:08,789 --> 00:33:11,331
Hello, how are you?
604
00:33:11,331 --> 00:33:12,706
Good trip?
605
00:33:28,539 --> 00:33:31,622
Your daughter's vanished.
We looked too long in a land too big.
606
00:33:31,622 --> 00:33:34,247
Hello perhaps? There's two of us.
607
00:33:34,247 --> 00:33:37,706
When military support arrives,
off with your head.
608
00:33:37,706 --> 00:33:42,122
I remember now.
You're the guy who loves beheading folks.
609
00:33:42,122 --> 00:33:43,206
You too, merchant.
610
00:33:43,789 --> 00:33:46,497
No, leave me out of this.
We really need to...
611
00:33:46,497 --> 00:33:47,914
Balls for you!
612
00:33:52,872 --> 00:33:53,914
Day one.
613
00:33:54,539 --> 00:33:57,706
When no balls are left,
if the princess won't show,
614
00:33:59,372 --> 00:34:00,206
you two...
615
00:34:03,081 --> 00:34:04,247
We have two lives.
616
00:34:04,247 --> 00:34:07,331
The second begins
when we see we have only one.
617
00:34:08,997 --> 00:34:09,956
I thank you.
618
00:34:13,789 --> 00:34:15,706
That's what I call an Empress.
619
00:34:16,289 --> 00:34:17,164
Love it.
620
00:34:17,164 --> 00:34:19,914
We have two lives and it ends when...
621
00:34:19,914 --> 00:34:22,164
The second life begins with...
622
00:34:23,747 --> 00:34:26,581
We have two lives and when they begin...
623
00:34:27,414 --> 00:34:28,414
I thank you.
624
00:34:35,206 --> 00:34:36,164
Meanwhile,
625
00:34:36,164 --> 00:34:39,164
Caesar, his immense army and Scar Dee Kat
626
00:34:39,164 --> 00:34:42,831
travel the Silk Road,
headed at top speed for China.
627
00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:43,997
Or almost.
628
00:34:45,581 --> 00:34:46,789
This is the Silk Road?
629
00:34:46,789 --> 00:34:49,206
We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it.
630
00:34:49,872 --> 00:34:51,914
Woopsus, what is this route?
631
00:34:51,914 --> 00:34:54,706
At least 9,000 men struck northwards.
632
00:34:54,706 --> 00:34:56,372
I can't work like this.
633
00:34:56,372 --> 00:34:57,872
It's just impossible!
634
00:34:58,664 --> 00:35:00,497
Join the army, they said!
635
00:35:04,664 --> 00:35:06,872
Woopsus, your call, left or right?
636
00:35:06,872 --> 00:35:08,956
Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left.
637
00:35:08,956 --> 00:35:10,206
So we'll go right.
638
00:35:10,747 --> 00:35:13,789
Sorry, will this go on long?
Left-right, right-left...
639
00:35:13,789 --> 00:35:16,497
We'll reach China on the 12th of Never.
640
00:35:16,497 --> 00:35:17,956
The upstart!
641
00:35:17,956 --> 00:35:19,747
Hail! Risklus, imperial security.
642
00:35:20,456 --> 00:35:22,206
Risklus, imperial security.
643
00:35:24,081 --> 00:35:27,872
Risklus! Everyone knows you here.
Where is Antivirus?
644
00:35:27,872 --> 00:35:30,081
Still on the campaign in Milan.
645
00:35:30,081 --> 00:35:32,039
He's not reading my pigeons.
646
00:35:33,706 --> 00:35:34,956
Caesar, I'm here.
647
00:35:35,914 --> 00:35:38,706
- It's not the same.
- Not at all the same.
648
00:35:38,706 --> 00:35:39,956
What do you want?
649
00:35:40,497 --> 00:35:44,039
Almighty Caesar,
Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience.
650
00:35:44,039 --> 00:35:46,872
She has demands. For respect or something.
651
00:35:46,872 --> 00:35:47,831
I beat her?
652
00:35:48,581 --> 00:35:49,456
Are you nuts?
653
00:35:50,164 --> 00:35:51,206
Show her in.
654
00:35:54,622 --> 00:35:55,456
Tapioca!
655
00:36:01,956 --> 00:36:04,081
So, Carioca, what do you want?
656
00:36:04,081 --> 00:36:08,039
Caesar, we received new outfits
and what do we see?
657
00:36:08,039 --> 00:36:10,206
Shorter than ever. What a surprise!
658
00:36:11,706 --> 00:36:14,956
If you want go-go taverns,
Rome is full of them.
659
00:36:15,539 --> 00:36:16,997
I'm sure I have no idea.
660
00:36:16,997 --> 00:36:19,664
Sure! The Palladium near the market.
661
00:36:19,664 --> 00:36:21,539
Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum.
662
00:36:21,539 --> 00:36:22,622
Right...
663
00:36:23,664 --> 00:36:26,956
So, what do you want?
Longer outfits for your dancers?
664
00:36:26,956 --> 00:36:28,039
It's a start.
665
00:36:28,039 --> 00:36:32,331
And let's talk about
the role of women in Roman society.
666
00:36:32,331 --> 00:36:35,497
Look closely and it's all about men here.
667
00:36:35,497 --> 00:36:37,247
Gladiators? Men.
668
00:36:37,247 --> 00:36:38,747
Senators? Men only.
669
00:36:38,747 --> 00:36:40,372
Legionaries? Men only.
670
00:36:40,372 --> 00:36:41,997
Caesars? Men only.
671
00:36:42,497 --> 00:36:43,789
You want a Julia Caesar?
672
00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:49,706
You want Rome run by a woman?
673
00:36:52,122 --> 00:36:52,997
I see.
674
00:37:01,456 --> 00:37:03,206
Back to our friends.
675
00:37:03,206 --> 00:37:08,289
After crossing the Egyptian desert
in sweltering heat,
676
00:37:08,289 --> 00:37:12,164
they reach the Red Sea
and the city of Klysma,
677
00:37:12,164 --> 00:37:16,206
a small Egyptian port,
later known as Suez.
678
00:37:16,206 --> 00:37:17,539
Yes, like the canal.
679
00:37:23,664 --> 00:37:27,331
If we want a captain,
I guarantee we'll find one here.
680
00:37:27,997 --> 00:37:30,831
Look, Asterix,
the tavern's called Little Lutetia.
681
00:37:30,831 --> 00:37:37,372
Dare to come and cast the first stone
682
00:37:40,581 --> 00:37:43,122
To fall for one head over heels
683
00:37:43,122 --> 00:37:45,039
leaves a wound that never heals
684
00:37:45,039 --> 00:37:49,247
But the love you feel is the real deal
685
00:37:52,372 --> 00:37:54,997
So don't be harsh or disapprove
686
00:37:55,664 --> 00:37:58,497
When a woman falls in love
687
00:38:00,456 --> 00:38:02,831
- You don't know it.
- I know it by heart.
688
00:38:02,831 --> 00:38:05,539
With a man who sweeps her off her feet
689
00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:13,622
See? That's Gaul for you!
690
00:38:13,622 --> 00:38:15,122
I love this place.
691
00:38:15,122 --> 00:38:17,581
Exactly how I pictured Lutetia.
692
00:38:19,539 --> 00:38:20,539
Same here.
693
00:38:25,497 --> 00:38:27,914
That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure.
694
00:38:27,914 --> 00:38:30,206
Yes, duckie. Born and bred.
695
00:38:30,206 --> 00:38:33,081
- You've lived here long?
- Donkey's years.
696
00:38:33,081 --> 00:38:35,206
I had a small cabaret in Lutetia.
697
00:38:35,206 --> 00:38:39,122
A hotspot, raking it in,
but I fell for a fella,
698
00:38:39,122 --> 00:38:41,539
a lowlife who wanted me as his floozy.
699
00:38:41,539 --> 00:38:43,497
And to clean me out!
700
00:38:44,331 --> 00:38:46,872
So who took her dosh
and hightailed it here?
701
00:38:46,872 --> 00:38:49,331
Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me!
702
00:38:50,164 --> 00:38:51,956
What brings you blondies here?
703
00:38:51,956 --> 00:38:54,331
Looking for the best ship's captain.
704
00:38:55,372 --> 00:38:56,581
He's your man. Titanix!
705
00:38:58,664 --> 00:38:59,539
He's reliable?
706
00:39:00,039 --> 00:39:02,831
Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable!
707
00:39:03,956 --> 00:39:05,039
Thanks for your help, Tipsy.
708
00:39:05,039 --> 00:39:06,497
Anything for a Gaul!
709
00:39:07,497 --> 00:39:09,164
Normally, mutts stay outside.
710
00:39:09,164 --> 00:39:10,789
But you're a real cutie.
711
00:39:17,247 --> 00:39:19,622
We're looking for a boat to China.
712
00:39:19,622 --> 00:39:22,456
China by sea? Too much hassle.
713
00:39:23,289 --> 00:39:24,789
Here's what I got for you.
714
00:39:24,789 --> 00:39:26,664
A quick visit of the coves of Klysma,
715
00:39:26,664 --> 00:39:29,831
all-you-can-eat and swimming,
plus the sunset.
716
00:39:31,122 --> 00:39:31,956
Tasty.
717
00:39:33,539 --> 00:39:34,997
Another time.
718
00:39:34,997 --> 00:39:37,206
This is worth more than your boat.
719
00:39:38,164 --> 00:39:39,747
Why didn't you say so?
720
00:39:40,331 --> 00:39:41,372
So how's it...
721
00:39:41,372 --> 00:39:44,414
You think I'll stand by
and let you extort me?
722
00:39:44,414 --> 00:39:46,872
Get out before I get out my cudgel!
723
00:39:46,872 --> 00:39:49,581
Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy.
724
00:39:49,581 --> 00:39:50,831
A problem, Tipsy?
725
00:39:50,831 --> 00:39:53,414
These gents want to dip into my pockets.
726
00:39:53,414 --> 00:39:57,372
They'll get a dose of their own medicine.
Nobody messes with Tipsy.
727
00:39:58,706 --> 00:40:00,997
Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul.
728
00:40:00,997 --> 00:40:02,664
What do you want with the lady?
729
00:40:04,289 --> 00:40:05,206
You're the lightweight.
730
00:40:10,622 --> 00:40:11,622
Screwy.
731
00:40:11,622 --> 00:40:12,914
Princess, in Gaul,
732
00:40:12,914 --> 00:40:15,622
when heavyweights run their mouths off,
733
00:40:16,497 --> 00:40:18,997
flyweights don't listen.
734
00:40:46,581 --> 00:40:47,581
He's a lizard!
735
00:40:55,747 --> 00:40:56,581
What is this?
736
00:41:07,872 --> 00:41:10,747
A very, very strong batch. He overdid it.
737
00:41:11,664 --> 00:41:13,622
Give me a drop. No one will know.
738
00:41:13,622 --> 00:41:14,747
No chance.
739
00:41:18,664 --> 00:41:20,331
One's yours. Take your pick.
740
00:41:20,914 --> 00:41:22,289
The big guy, I guess.
741
00:41:25,372 --> 00:41:26,456
Gentlemen...
742
00:41:35,872 --> 00:41:39,372
I'm not allowed it
ever since I fell in as a kid.
743
00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:41,164
So it will hurt less.
744
00:42:00,247 --> 00:42:03,456
Imagine a mini-amphora
with two wings painted on it,
745
00:42:03,456 --> 00:42:05,581
containing a drop of magic potion.
746
00:42:05,581 --> 00:42:07,497
A kind of pick-me-up.
747
00:42:07,497 --> 00:42:10,289
We market it as an invigorating drink...
748
00:42:10,289 --> 00:42:12,706
I'll come up with a name for it.
749
00:42:13,206 --> 00:42:17,789
In Rome, with all the orgies
and kids dancing through the night,
750
00:42:17,789 --> 00:42:19,081
we'll make a killing.
751
00:42:19,081 --> 00:42:21,914
Count me in. I'll handle transport.
752
00:42:22,997 --> 00:42:24,039
What's that?
753
00:42:24,622 --> 00:42:25,831
It's tai chi.
754
00:42:25,831 --> 00:42:28,789
An ancestral technique
to boost the body's energy.
755
00:42:29,789 --> 00:42:31,747
It's crazy, us meeting now.
756
00:42:31,747 --> 00:42:35,122
My new lifestyle's
so in step with your culture.
757
00:42:35,747 --> 00:42:38,664
Balance, nutrition, energies, everything!
758
00:42:39,622 --> 00:42:41,164
The two of us are so connected.
759
00:42:47,081 --> 00:42:48,831
- Done?
- Meditation.
760
00:42:48,831 --> 00:42:50,622
- Great!
- No talking!
761
00:42:56,831 --> 00:42:58,122
It's a fine coin.
762
00:43:00,872 --> 00:43:01,872
That's you?
763
00:43:02,539 --> 00:43:05,081
Yes. A gift from my mother.
764
00:43:06,247 --> 00:43:07,289
That's real love.
765
00:43:10,664 --> 00:43:11,956
When I received it,
766
00:43:12,872 --> 00:43:13,789
I didn't smile.
767
00:43:14,914 --> 00:43:16,372
Don't worry, Princess.
768
00:43:16,872 --> 00:43:18,581
I'll rescue your mother.
769
00:43:19,664 --> 00:43:20,539
I'm here for you.
770
00:43:21,747 --> 00:43:23,331
Quick correction, sorry.
771
00:43:23,331 --> 00:43:24,914
We are here for you.
772
00:43:24,914 --> 00:43:28,539
Some of us were here for you
from the start of the adventure.
773
00:43:29,539 --> 00:43:30,872
Excuse me.
774
00:43:30,872 --> 00:43:32,247
Princess...
775
00:43:38,039 --> 00:43:39,164
What are you doing?
776
00:43:39,164 --> 00:43:40,956
That was two balls!
777
00:43:40,956 --> 00:43:42,789
Put one back. That was two balls!
778
00:43:42,789 --> 00:43:45,497
Put one back. Don't screw me on the balls.
779
00:43:45,497 --> 00:43:47,122
It's extra jailtime for me.
780
00:43:48,664 --> 00:43:50,747
By the way, did you think over
781
00:43:52,122 --> 00:43:52,997
my offer?
782
00:43:55,956 --> 00:43:57,497
Playing hard to get.
783
00:43:57,997 --> 00:44:00,872
I'm used to tough negotiations, though.
784
00:44:00,872 --> 00:44:02,664
- Ekonomikrisis...
- Yes?
785
00:44:02,664 --> 00:44:04,414
If we get out one day,
786
00:44:04,914 --> 00:44:07,289
would you like to keep trading in China?
787
00:44:07,789 --> 00:44:09,789
- Sure.
- So shut up.
788
00:44:11,706 --> 00:44:13,914
They put us together to torture me.
789
00:44:14,581 --> 00:44:15,831
Let's not exaggerate.
790
00:44:17,039 --> 00:44:18,372
Perhaps it's...
791
00:44:19,081 --> 00:44:20,664
destiny bringing us together.
792
00:44:21,164 --> 00:44:22,914
Maktub, as they say back home.
793
00:44:24,164 --> 00:44:26,581
You're very beautiful in a temper.
794
00:44:45,456 --> 00:44:46,289
Gents!
795
00:44:46,289 --> 00:44:49,122
Here, on the Red Sea,
no more fatal encounters!
796
00:44:49,122 --> 00:44:51,622
Who are the predators here?
797
00:44:51,622 --> 00:44:53,372
- We are!
- Bang on!
798
00:44:54,914 --> 00:44:57,164
Ship ahoy!
799
00:44:58,289 --> 00:44:59,372
Thanks, lookout!
800
00:44:59,372 --> 00:45:00,497
Just doing my job!
801
00:45:00,497 --> 00:45:03,456
No lavish ship will escape us.
802
00:45:03,456 --> 00:45:04,789
We sleep tonight in silk!
803
00:45:19,997 --> 00:45:20,831
The Gauls?
804
00:45:20,831 --> 00:45:23,247
It's the Gauls!
805
00:45:25,956 --> 00:45:27,122
Peek-a-boo!
806
00:45:27,622 --> 00:45:28,539
Hi, guys!
807
00:45:33,331 --> 00:45:34,539
Not the Gauls!
808
00:45:34,539 --> 00:45:35,539
Why us?
809
00:45:36,997 --> 00:45:38,289
There are other ships.
810
00:45:39,206 --> 00:45:41,622
Morning, could you pretend not to see us?
811
00:45:41,622 --> 00:45:43,206
But we have seen you.
812
00:45:43,206 --> 00:45:44,581
That's fair.
813
00:45:45,706 --> 00:45:46,747
Prepare our defences!
814
00:45:46,747 --> 00:45:47,831
Let's go!
815
00:45:52,372 --> 00:45:54,289
Freshly painted too!
816
00:45:54,789 --> 00:45:56,164
Watch out now!
817
00:46:00,914 --> 00:46:02,581
Don't think I enjoy it.
818
00:46:03,872 --> 00:46:04,956
No, wait.
819
00:46:05,914 --> 00:46:07,414
Watch some Chinese fighting.
820
00:46:25,789 --> 00:46:27,039
What now, skipper?
821
00:46:28,456 --> 00:46:29,664
I'm not feeling it.
822
00:46:29,664 --> 00:46:31,622
Let's go anyway. Attack!
823
00:46:35,456 --> 00:46:36,664
No, go back!
824
00:46:36,664 --> 00:46:38,247
Michel, go on!
825
00:46:52,622 --> 00:46:54,081
That's gotta hurt.
826
00:47:02,372 --> 00:47:03,664
That's too many feet!
827
00:47:05,039 --> 00:47:06,331
Let me through.
828
00:47:10,081 --> 00:47:11,331
Sorry, skipper.
829
00:47:11,331 --> 00:47:12,664
Where you going?
830
00:47:12,664 --> 00:47:14,331
Going out like a prince.
831
00:47:15,664 --> 00:47:17,164
Behind you!
832
00:47:21,581 --> 00:47:23,372
Cool it, crazywoman!
833
00:48:03,831 --> 00:48:04,706
Comrades,
834
00:48:05,206 --> 00:48:07,372
official reason for us sinking,
835
00:48:07,372 --> 00:48:09,497
we ran into a Chinese tornado.
836
00:48:19,456 --> 00:48:20,456
May I?
837
00:48:21,039 --> 00:48:21,914
Yes.
838
00:48:25,872 --> 00:48:26,831
Beautiful.
839
00:48:28,414 --> 00:48:29,706
I wanted to say,
840
00:48:30,372 --> 00:48:31,872
you fight fabulously.
841
00:48:32,789 --> 00:48:33,789
Thank you.
842
00:48:34,956 --> 00:48:37,331
How come you never use the potion?
843
00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:38,581
I'm not allowed to.
844
00:48:40,539 --> 00:48:43,289
Dangerous, apparently. One shot too many.
845
00:48:45,956 --> 00:48:49,039
I'd love to feel that kick
just one more time.
846
00:49:38,747 --> 00:49:39,914
Obelix?
847
00:49:41,872 --> 00:49:42,872
Mummy!
848
00:49:48,331 --> 00:49:49,831
The feeling is extraordinary.
849
00:49:50,331 --> 00:49:52,831
Fizzing through your head and body.
A bit like...
850
00:49:52,831 --> 00:49:54,581
falling in love, so I hear.
851
00:50:21,331 --> 00:50:23,747
Having found their way again at last,
852
00:50:24,247 --> 00:50:26,497
Caesar and his powerful army
853
00:50:26,497 --> 00:50:29,831
cross Persia, the mountains of India,
854
00:50:29,831 --> 00:50:31,581
the Mongolian steppes,
855
00:50:31,581 --> 00:50:34,247
and finally reach the gates of China,
856
00:50:34,247 --> 00:50:36,581
where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin
857
00:50:36,581 --> 00:50:38,664
is perfecting his dastardly plan
858
00:50:38,664 --> 00:50:40,831
to conquer all six kingdoms.
859
00:50:47,747 --> 00:50:48,664
Ave!
860
00:50:49,164 --> 00:50:50,122
This is the war?
861
00:50:50,122 --> 00:50:51,414
Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
862
00:50:51,414 --> 00:50:52,997
allow me to introduce...
863
00:50:53,497 --> 00:50:57,122
Julius Caesar himself.
Impressive, I know, but deep breaths
864
00:50:57,122 --> 00:50:58,706
and everything will be fine.
865
00:50:59,247 --> 00:51:02,247
So where are these rebels
you can't keep in check?
866
00:51:02,247 --> 00:51:05,622
War's a full-time job.
Good idea to call in the professionals.
867
00:51:07,539 --> 00:51:09,289
Aren't you overthinking it?
868
00:51:09,289 --> 00:51:11,622
No, simply following Sun Tzu,
869
00:51:12,206 --> 00:51:13,664
the greatest Chinese strategist,
870
00:51:13,664 --> 00:51:15,247
who wrote The Art of War.
871
00:51:15,956 --> 00:51:17,164
The Fart is Raw?
872
00:51:18,789 --> 00:51:22,789
Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open.
We'll make short work of this.
873
00:51:23,622 --> 00:51:26,122
{\an8}- All right. If you want peace...
- Prepare for war.
874
00:51:26,122 --> 00:51:27,164
{\an8}Exactly!
875
00:51:28,497 --> 00:51:29,664
He's hard work.
876
00:51:29,664 --> 00:51:30,872
A maniac.
877
00:51:30,872 --> 00:51:34,039
Mega-pretentious, too.
First decan cancer. The pits.
878
00:51:34,747 --> 00:51:37,372
I had no idea. I need sleep. Chariot-lag.
879
00:51:41,664 --> 00:51:43,331
Biopix, new chapter.
880
00:51:43,331 --> 00:51:45,956
After Caesar the Seducer,
881
00:51:46,622 --> 00:51:47,997
Caesar the Strategist.
882
00:51:47,997 --> 00:51:50,622
Hold on, change of scroll
and I'm all yours.
883
00:51:50,622 --> 00:51:52,372
- Helmet!
- Gallopus!
884
00:52:03,997 --> 00:52:04,997
Sword!
885
00:52:08,581 --> 00:52:09,456
What on Earth?
886
00:52:09,456 --> 00:52:11,831
- Last time you cut yourself...
- Enough!
887
00:52:13,247 --> 00:52:15,039
Any news of Antivirus?
888
00:52:15,039 --> 00:52:17,206
He's here and ready, almighty Caesar.
889
00:52:17,206 --> 00:52:18,414
All right, let's go!
890
00:52:23,497 --> 00:52:24,372
All together!
891
00:52:27,997 --> 00:52:29,164
Goose bumps.
892
00:52:29,164 --> 00:52:30,414
Same here.
893
00:53:49,997 --> 00:53:51,289
Antivirus, I love you!
894
00:54:04,414 --> 00:54:07,081
Antivirus, don't go losing your cool.
895
00:54:07,581 --> 00:54:09,414
Cut the pushing. It hurts.
896
00:54:09,414 --> 00:54:11,456
You wanted Antivirus,
897
00:54:11,456 --> 00:54:13,372
I gave you Antivirus.
898
00:54:13,372 --> 00:54:16,456
Now go back to your chariot races.
899
00:54:18,372 --> 00:54:21,164
Why talk when you can fly?
900
00:54:45,747 --> 00:54:47,414
A walk in the park!
901
00:54:49,872 --> 00:54:51,247
In a few days,
902
00:54:51,247 --> 00:54:52,997
I shall be master of China.
903
00:54:54,081 --> 00:54:58,247
I almost envy you,
getting a first taste of Rome's power.
904
00:54:58,831 --> 00:55:01,122
Veni, vidi, vici.
905
00:55:02,122 --> 00:55:04,414
Caesar, you spoil me.
906
00:55:04,414 --> 00:55:06,372
I've got it word for word.
907
00:55:06,372 --> 00:55:08,956
- Awkward. This is for dinner?
- Yes.
908
00:55:08,956 --> 00:55:10,789
- No sense of hospitality.
- No.
909
00:55:11,956 --> 00:55:13,747
And Antivirus? Not here?
910
00:55:13,747 --> 00:55:15,122
He's sleeping.
911
00:55:15,122 --> 00:55:16,122
Sleeping?
912
00:55:16,122 --> 00:55:17,289
I'm here, Caesar.
913
00:55:17,289 --> 00:55:19,664
- Yes, but it's not the same.
- Not at all.
914
00:55:21,414 --> 00:55:23,997
You have one last kingdom to conquer.
915
00:55:23,997 --> 00:55:25,039
The trickiest.
916
00:55:26,331 --> 00:55:28,289
Our victories echo around the land.
917
00:55:28,289 --> 00:55:30,122
And the Ku Koos never give up.
918
00:55:30,122 --> 00:55:33,372
Fine. Let's see who's the biggest Ku Koo.
919
00:55:35,081 --> 00:55:38,081
Not laughing.
King So Ku Koo passed this winter.
920
00:55:38,831 --> 00:55:41,664
His son and heir, Prince of Ku Koo, is 20
921
00:55:41,664 --> 00:55:44,539
and wears a mask
to hide a terrible malformation.
922
00:55:44,539 --> 00:55:46,331
The man in the bamboo mask.
923
00:55:46,831 --> 00:55:47,706
A death
924
00:55:47,706 --> 00:55:51,289
and taking a drubbing from Caesar.
Bad year for the Ku Koos.
925
00:55:52,456 --> 00:55:53,497
By the way...
926
00:55:54,956 --> 00:55:56,539
you seem a bit cuckoo.
927
00:55:57,164 --> 00:55:59,539
No, I'm a Quin. No relation.
928
00:55:59,539 --> 00:56:00,581
I mean...
929
00:56:03,581 --> 00:56:05,039
you're totally cuckoo, right?
930
00:56:11,414 --> 00:56:16,164
Why would you want my help
in ousting you from your own kingdom?
931
00:56:16,164 --> 00:56:18,247
What do you stand to gain,
932
00:56:18,247 --> 00:56:20,331
Deng Tsin Quin?
933
00:56:21,622 --> 00:56:23,872
You plan to give me a Caesarian
934
00:56:23,872 --> 00:56:25,914
after I conquer all the kingdoms?
935
00:56:25,914 --> 00:56:27,164
No.
936
00:56:27,747 --> 00:56:29,039
I'd never do that.
937
00:56:29,622 --> 00:56:30,622
Really?
938
00:56:31,956 --> 00:56:32,789
I would.
939
00:56:33,581 --> 00:56:35,122
At the drop of a hat!
940
00:56:36,622 --> 00:56:37,581
Good one!
941
00:56:39,706 --> 00:56:41,372
Tell me, O Caesar,
942
00:56:42,039 --> 00:56:44,081
did you know that Queen Cleopatra
943
00:56:44,081 --> 00:56:45,747
is highly respected in China?
944
00:56:46,497 --> 00:56:47,456
That's true.
945
00:56:47,456 --> 00:56:50,831
She's done so much
for the conservation of pandas that...
946
00:56:51,414 --> 00:56:53,581
What's she like in real life? Cool?
947
00:57:08,581 --> 00:57:10,122
Home at last.
948
00:57:11,497 --> 00:57:14,414
Can you smell the bamboo,
eucalyptus and ginger?
949
00:57:15,872 --> 00:57:17,997
Don't bother. They have no idea.
950
00:57:17,997 --> 00:57:19,997
I smell them, though.
951
00:57:20,831 --> 00:57:21,914
What sweet scent!
952
00:57:22,497 --> 00:57:23,456
Titanix,
953
00:57:23,456 --> 00:57:25,622
you'll head straight back to Egypt?
954
00:57:25,622 --> 00:57:28,414
No, straight on
till I'm back where I started,
955
00:57:28,414 --> 00:57:30,081
to prove the earth's round.
956
00:58:00,581 --> 00:58:02,622
Didn't I promise you'd be back?
957
00:58:08,206 --> 00:58:10,914
Ka Ra Tay, how will we find
your master here?
958
00:58:10,914 --> 00:58:12,289
He will find us.
959
00:58:30,414 --> 00:58:32,122
- What was the message?
- Nothing.
960
00:58:33,872 --> 00:58:35,164
The bald guy's a friend?
961
00:58:36,539 --> 00:58:38,664
Why not tell me if it's nothing?
962
00:58:40,497 --> 00:58:44,289
Master Sill Lee will come to the inn
where we're staying.
963
00:58:45,414 --> 00:58:47,747
Why all the mystery?
964
00:58:47,747 --> 00:58:49,164
I've lost my appetite now!
965
00:58:52,081 --> 00:58:53,664
He's never like that.
966
00:58:55,081 --> 00:58:59,122
Could be the fatigue,
time difference and culture shock.
967
00:58:59,122 --> 00:59:00,914
Can we talk honestly?
968
00:59:01,747 --> 00:59:05,206
We're hardly bosom buddies.
I hate you, and it feels mutual.
969
00:59:06,414 --> 00:59:08,831
But it's really tense between you two.
970
00:59:08,831 --> 00:59:10,664
The tension's getting to us all.
971
00:59:11,331 --> 00:59:12,372
- It is?
- Yes.
972
00:59:13,539 --> 00:59:15,247
I have an idea for you both
973
00:59:15,247 --> 00:59:19,039
and honestly it will do you
the world of good.
974
00:59:21,706 --> 00:59:23,622
Obelix, we need to talk.
975
00:59:24,164 --> 00:59:25,331
I'm all ears.
976
00:59:25,331 --> 00:59:29,247
You've noticed the Princess and I
have a real good thing going?
977
00:59:31,164 --> 00:59:32,164
For sure.
978
00:59:33,789 --> 00:59:36,039
I think it would be simpler...
979
00:59:36,747 --> 00:59:38,956
if she moved to our village.
980
00:59:38,956 --> 00:59:40,081
All right.
981
00:59:40,997 --> 00:59:42,414
You and I are...
982
00:59:42,914 --> 00:59:44,497
We've lived together for ages.
983
00:59:45,289 --> 00:59:47,289
We never said it was for life.
984
00:59:48,497 --> 00:59:49,747
Seeing as, originally,
985
00:59:50,247 --> 00:59:52,081
it was my parents' hut...
986
00:59:56,122 --> 00:59:57,872
You'd like me to move out?
987
00:59:59,039 --> 01:00:00,039
Yes.
988
01:00:04,039 --> 01:00:05,539
What a relief!
989
01:00:05,539 --> 01:00:08,956
I want to move out
and had no idea how to tell you.
990
01:00:09,539 --> 01:00:10,372
Really?
991
01:00:12,997 --> 01:00:14,414
I'm in love, too.
992
01:00:15,914 --> 01:00:16,914
You're in love?
993
01:00:17,914 --> 01:00:18,997
Beautiful Ka Ra Tay.
994
01:00:22,747 --> 01:00:23,581
Ka Ra Tay?
995
01:00:24,497 --> 01:00:25,789
Our Ka Ra Tay?
996
01:00:26,289 --> 01:00:27,122
Seriously?
997
01:00:29,872 --> 01:00:30,831
What's so funny?
998
01:00:32,122 --> 01:00:33,331
I'm just surprised.
999
01:00:33,331 --> 01:00:34,664
By me falling in love?
1000
01:00:35,331 --> 01:00:36,539
Come on, Oby...
1001
01:00:36,539 --> 01:00:37,622
Don't Oby me.
1002
01:00:38,122 --> 01:00:39,164
No more Oby!
1003
01:00:40,789 --> 01:00:41,622
What's funny?
1004
01:00:41,622 --> 01:00:43,289
I've no right to love?
1005
01:00:43,789 --> 01:00:45,081
No rights at all!
1006
01:00:45,081 --> 01:00:46,997
Nonsense! It's all about you.
1007
01:00:46,997 --> 01:00:48,956
- It is not!
- It is!
1008
01:00:50,081 --> 01:00:52,164
No magic potion for Obelix.
1009
01:00:52,164 --> 01:00:53,456
No love for Obelix!
1010
01:00:53,456 --> 01:00:56,539
Poor Obelix!
He can't have any magic potion.
1011
01:00:57,331 --> 01:00:58,289
Poor Obelix!
1012
01:00:58,289 --> 01:00:59,706
Now I'm not allowed
1013
01:00:59,706 --> 01:01:03,081
to roast my wild boar in my own hut!
1014
01:01:03,664 --> 01:01:06,456
Sorry, not my hut. Asterix's parents' hut!
1015
01:01:06,456 --> 01:01:09,456
- Correct!
- And he wants me to eat fruit and veg!
1016
01:01:09,456 --> 01:01:11,956
Why should we eat fruit and veg?
1017
01:01:11,956 --> 01:01:12,956
For your sake!
1018
01:01:13,456 --> 01:01:14,414
Your health!
1019
01:01:14,414 --> 01:01:16,581
Don't say the word! Don't say it!
1020
01:01:16,581 --> 01:01:17,997
Because you're fat!
1021
01:01:20,372 --> 01:01:22,622
I am curvaceous!
1022
01:01:23,456 --> 01:01:24,581
But at least I'm...
1023
01:01:25,081 --> 01:01:26,289
strong.
1024
01:01:26,289 --> 01:01:28,372
There we go. Thank you!
1025
01:01:28,372 --> 01:01:31,164
You think it's easy always being weaker?
1026
01:01:31,664 --> 01:01:33,039
Dependent on a flask!
1027
01:01:33,039 --> 01:01:34,289
Serves you right!
1028
01:01:34,789 --> 01:01:36,081
There, I said it!
1029
01:01:37,497 --> 01:01:40,456
Needles work well. Release tensions.
1030
01:01:42,081 --> 01:01:44,164
Speak freely.
1031
01:01:56,456 --> 01:01:58,289
- Romans!
- No, Obelix.
1032
01:01:58,289 --> 01:01:59,497
What now?
1033
01:01:59,497 --> 01:02:01,664
We protect the princess's identity.
1034
01:02:03,122 --> 01:02:04,414
What brings Caesar to China?
1035
01:02:04,414 --> 01:02:07,539
The traitor Deng Tsin Quin
has sold us out.
1036
01:02:09,914 --> 01:02:11,331
News flash!
1037
01:02:12,331 --> 01:02:13,622
People of China,
1038
01:02:13,622 --> 01:02:16,247
Prince Deng Tsin Quin and Julius Caesar
1039
01:02:16,247 --> 01:02:18,789
are delighted to announce
the public execution
1040
01:02:18,789 --> 01:02:20,164
of the ex-Empress.
1041
01:02:21,206 --> 01:02:24,706
Beheading will take place
in seven days at sunset.
1042
01:02:25,872 --> 01:02:29,831
Fries will be stirred.
Book early to avoid disappointment.
1043
01:02:29,831 --> 01:02:30,872
Nobody told me.
1044
01:02:30,872 --> 01:02:32,747
By papyrus? You're not in the group?
1045
01:02:32,747 --> 01:02:34,706
I never am!
1046
01:02:34,706 --> 01:02:36,706
I am Princess Sa See!
1047
01:02:36,706 --> 01:02:39,039
Nobody harms the daughter of the heavens,
1048
01:02:39,039 --> 01:02:41,581
Her Majesty the Empress, my mother!
1049
01:02:41,581 --> 01:02:43,039
Arrest her!
1050
01:02:49,747 --> 01:02:50,622
Hey, doggie.
1051
01:02:51,497 --> 01:02:52,331
Bring it on.
1052
01:02:52,331 --> 01:02:55,622
Anyone who touches a single hair
of my future wife
1053
01:02:55,622 --> 01:02:58,164
must prepare for a world of pain.
1054
01:03:00,039 --> 01:03:01,331
I said that?
1055
01:03:07,664 --> 01:03:09,872
Hold on, timeout. Pause it.
1056
01:03:09,872 --> 01:03:12,664
Just a second, I'll be right back.
1057
01:03:13,872 --> 01:03:15,081
You're kidding me.
1058
01:03:17,622 --> 01:03:18,622
You good?
1059
01:03:22,622 --> 01:03:23,539
We can start?
1060
01:03:24,164 --> 01:03:25,831
- Toilet break.
- Sure.
1061
01:03:25,831 --> 01:03:27,122
Not buying it.
1062
01:03:57,372 --> 01:03:58,372
Wring!
1063
01:04:21,539 --> 01:04:22,747
How about that.
1064
01:04:28,414 --> 01:04:31,122
The acupuncturist prescribed me
two days' rest.
1065
01:04:31,122 --> 01:04:32,581
For what we get paid...
1066
01:04:34,414 --> 01:04:35,706
Act like we never met?
1067
01:04:35,706 --> 01:04:36,747
We never met.
1068
01:05:31,956 --> 01:05:34,372
Say, he just flew off my fist.
1069
01:05:34,372 --> 01:05:35,581
Yeah, I saw that.
1070
01:05:35,581 --> 01:05:37,581
Let's face it, no one beats you.
1071
01:05:38,456 --> 01:05:39,706
What's this?
1072
01:05:42,872 --> 01:05:43,997
Insane! So tight.
1073
01:05:43,997 --> 01:05:45,872
Come on, Princess, it's not safe.
1074
01:05:45,872 --> 01:05:48,039
"Come on, Princess, it's not safe."
1075
01:05:49,747 --> 01:05:50,872
A problem?
1076
01:05:50,872 --> 01:05:51,956
Maybe.
1077
01:05:52,914 --> 01:05:53,997
Potion's worn off?
1078
01:05:53,997 --> 01:05:55,706
Maybe. Try me, you'll see.
1079
01:05:57,539 --> 01:05:58,414
We'll talk later.
1080
01:05:59,206 --> 01:06:00,372
Ready when you are.
1081
01:06:19,331 --> 01:06:20,456
Halt!
1082
01:06:25,247 --> 01:06:27,081
THE ORIGINAL 2CV
1083
01:06:32,414 --> 01:06:34,081
SOAPS by CLEO
1084
01:06:36,539 --> 01:06:38,331
Who whistled?
1085
01:06:49,289 --> 01:06:50,414
I go off to war.
1086
01:06:51,331 --> 01:06:53,331
I risk my life and nothing from her.
1087
01:06:53,914 --> 01:06:55,664
No messages, no news.
1088
01:06:55,664 --> 01:06:57,331
No papyrus, no pigeons.
1089
01:06:57,331 --> 01:06:59,414
Time to snap out of it!
1090
01:06:59,414 --> 01:07:02,206
We were the intrepid, conquering hero.
1091
01:07:02,206 --> 01:07:04,706
- We've gone a bit flat.
- He's right.
1092
01:07:04,706 --> 01:07:06,331
You messaged her?
1093
01:07:06,331 --> 01:07:09,331
No, we said no messages. We play it cool.
1094
01:07:09,331 --> 01:07:12,247
We do nothing. Let her stew like beef.
1095
01:07:12,247 --> 01:07:14,372
Butt out, cupcake!
1096
01:07:14,372 --> 01:07:16,331
Come again, sentry?
1097
01:07:16,331 --> 01:07:19,664
Risklus! An aquarium,
with water on the brain!
1098
01:07:19,664 --> 01:07:22,872
Two-bit Antivirus!
You're not fit to shine his sandals.
1099
01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:24,622
Shut your trap!
1100
01:07:28,247 --> 01:07:29,872
Who wears the toga at home?
1101
01:07:30,372 --> 01:07:31,289
Who's the boss?
1102
01:07:31,914 --> 01:07:32,831
I am.
1103
01:07:33,372 --> 01:07:34,456
Anyone hear that?
1104
01:07:35,081 --> 01:07:36,622
Who's the boss?
1105
01:07:37,997 --> 01:07:39,456
- I am.
- There you are!
1106
01:07:39,456 --> 01:07:41,414
You're back. Julius Caesar!
1107
01:07:41,414 --> 01:07:43,039
Our champion! Number one!
1108
01:07:43,956 --> 01:07:45,664
The only message is,
1109
01:07:45,664 --> 01:07:48,831
"Take your trunks and stuff,
and go home to Egypt!"
1110
01:07:48,831 --> 01:07:51,664
"Walking straight or sideways,
whatever, just go!"
1111
01:07:55,622 --> 01:07:56,914
You're right. Scribe!
1112
01:08:08,331 --> 01:08:09,706
Better!
1113
01:08:09,706 --> 01:08:13,289
I want my palace in Rome
empty of sarcophagi and bandages.
1114
01:08:14,247 --> 01:08:17,331
As of today,
you know who wears the toga at home.
1115
01:08:18,414 --> 01:08:19,664
Ave, me!
1116
01:08:19,664 --> 01:08:23,831
There, that's big-time Caesar. Masterful!
1117
01:08:23,831 --> 01:08:25,622
The Queen of Egypt?
1118
01:08:25,622 --> 01:08:27,622
Queen of Nitwits more like!
1119
01:08:28,539 --> 01:08:30,456
They're not singing anymore...
1120
01:08:30,456 --> 01:08:33,456
They're not singing, the Egyptians!
1121
01:08:33,456 --> 01:08:35,206
- Send.
- Yes!
1122
01:08:39,247 --> 01:08:40,497
Pigeon!
1123
01:08:43,831 --> 01:08:44,956
A bunny!
1124
01:08:46,039 --> 01:08:46,997
It's a bunny.
1125
01:08:46,997 --> 01:08:48,372
Scary!
1126
01:08:48,956 --> 01:08:50,581
A raccoon!
1127
01:08:54,289 --> 01:08:55,206
A goat!
1128
01:08:56,039 --> 01:08:57,247
A billy goat.
1129
01:09:03,289 --> 01:09:04,997
Come on, sweetie, let's go.
1130
01:09:14,164 --> 01:09:15,289
From Cleopatra.
1131
01:09:15,289 --> 01:09:16,289
Already?
1132
01:09:17,872 --> 01:09:18,706
Read it.
1133
01:09:30,414 --> 01:09:32,956
- Don't understand a word.
- I don't understand.
1134
01:09:35,247 --> 01:09:36,872
"I wanted to apologise
1135
01:09:37,831 --> 01:09:39,039
for my behaviour."
1136
01:09:39,039 --> 01:09:40,414
"I went too far."
1137
01:09:40,414 --> 01:09:41,539
For sure.
1138
01:09:42,706 --> 01:09:46,622
"Four months apart
and I dream of us being reunited.
1139
01:09:47,206 --> 01:09:49,872
"Waiting for you in Rome. Come back soon."
1140
01:09:50,664 --> 01:09:51,997
"Your loving Cleo."
1141
01:09:53,414 --> 01:09:55,081
Stop the pigeon!
1142
01:09:55,081 --> 01:09:56,622
Cancel the pigeon!
1143
01:09:56,622 --> 01:09:58,456
- Fast!
- We can't cancel it.
1144
01:09:58,456 --> 01:10:00,872
Sent is sent. I beat him?
1145
01:10:01,456 --> 01:10:02,581
Everybody out!
1146
01:10:07,664 --> 01:10:08,872
I said everybody.
1147
01:11:26,789 --> 01:11:28,706
Hungry? There's lots of fruit.
1148
01:11:28,706 --> 01:11:29,956
- Hands off.
- What?
1149
01:11:29,956 --> 01:11:31,331
They're offerings.
1150
01:11:31,997 --> 01:11:33,664
Sorry. I didn't...
1151
01:11:41,331 --> 01:11:42,331
Hold on.
1152
01:11:42,331 --> 01:11:44,372
Move along. Have a good evening.
1153
01:11:44,956 --> 01:11:45,831
Good luck.
1154
01:11:46,331 --> 01:11:47,789
Just a beggar.
1155
01:11:53,289 --> 01:11:54,414
Master Sill Lee.
1156
01:11:55,289 --> 01:11:56,331
Sorry.
1157
01:11:57,289 --> 01:11:59,997
Profuse apologies, Mr. Sill Lee.
I thought...
1158
01:11:59,997 --> 01:12:03,331
Master Sill Lee is a hermit
who devotes his life to meditation.
1159
01:12:03,831 --> 01:12:05,581
He took a vow of absolute poverty.
1160
01:12:06,289 --> 01:12:09,372
Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind.
1161
01:12:09,372 --> 01:12:10,706
It's beyond me.
1162
01:12:10,706 --> 01:12:13,872
In that case,
allow me to relieve you of the money.
1163
01:12:13,872 --> 01:12:16,831
Try to take back your coin,
1164
01:12:16,831 --> 01:12:18,372
little grasshopper.
1165
01:12:22,747 --> 01:12:24,581
It's too easy. You're blind.
1166
01:12:24,581 --> 01:12:28,039
Never assume a man cannot see
because he's...
1167
01:12:29,747 --> 01:12:31,289
You saw that coming?
1168
01:12:33,289 --> 01:12:34,789
There we are!
1169
01:12:35,331 --> 01:12:36,622
It was his game.
1170
01:12:36,622 --> 01:12:37,831
Leave him.
1171
01:12:37,831 --> 01:12:38,997
Little grasshopper!
1172
01:12:39,581 --> 01:12:40,872
Sir, over here.
1173
01:12:41,706 --> 01:12:44,164
You are as swift as a cobra.
1174
01:12:44,164 --> 01:12:45,247
Yup, Sill Lee.
1175
01:12:45,247 --> 01:12:47,831
Can we move on to important matters?
1176
01:12:53,997 --> 01:12:55,539
By Toutatis!
1177
01:12:55,539 --> 01:12:59,456
Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror
across the whole country.
1178
01:12:59,456 --> 01:13:01,581
Do not touch.
1179
01:13:02,539 --> 01:13:03,414
Hard to resist.
1180
01:13:03,997 --> 01:13:05,164
I see
1181
01:13:05,164 --> 01:13:07,206
an old abandoned temple.
1182
01:13:07,206 --> 01:13:09,164
The temple in Xuan.
1183
01:13:09,664 --> 01:13:13,289
Her Majesty the Empress is held prisoner.
1184
01:13:14,456 --> 01:13:16,539
After releasing her,
1185
01:13:16,539 --> 01:13:19,581
you must go with all speed
1186
01:13:19,581 --> 01:13:21,372
to the Ku Koos' palace,
1187
01:13:21,372 --> 01:13:25,664
before Caesar seizes the final kingdom.
1188
01:13:26,247 --> 01:13:28,289
You will encounter
1189
01:13:28,914 --> 01:13:30,039
the hideous...
1190
01:13:30,039 --> 01:13:32,039
the unsightly...
1191
01:13:32,039 --> 01:13:36,164
the monstrous crown prince,
1192
01:13:36,164 --> 01:13:37,581
Prince of Ku Koo,
1193
01:13:37,581 --> 01:13:40,872
the man in the bamboo mask.
1194
01:13:42,872 --> 01:13:44,622
Don't worry, it's fake.
1195
01:13:44,622 --> 01:13:46,497
Good luck!
1196
01:13:47,081 --> 01:13:49,539
We must go our separate ways.
1197
01:13:50,247 --> 01:13:51,414
Grand master,
1198
01:13:51,914 --> 01:13:53,622
are you done with the ball?
1199
01:13:55,456 --> 01:13:56,539
Yes.
1200
01:14:00,414 --> 01:14:01,497
Holy cow!
1201
01:14:04,581 --> 01:14:06,539
There you are. You broke it.
1202
01:14:06,539 --> 01:14:08,289
He said do not touch.
1203
01:14:10,289 --> 01:14:11,372
He's right.
1204
01:14:12,289 --> 01:14:14,122
I said do not touch!
1205
01:14:20,122 --> 01:14:21,122
Why'd you touch it?
1206
01:14:27,164 --> 01:14:29,706
Seen Princess Sa See? With two warriors...
1207
01:14:33,872 --> 01:14:35,247
Princess Sa See?
1208
01:14:35,247 --> 01:14:38,622
Seen her?
With two superhuman foreign warriors.
1209
01:14:39,206 --> 01:14:40,081
And a dog.
1210
01:14:55,456 --> 01:14:57,956
You're waiting for an ale? Bring them in!
1211
01:14:58,747 --> 01:15:00,414
- Asterix!
- What? Run!
1212
01:15:00,914 --> 01:15:02,247
- Asterix!
- What?
1213
01:15:02,247 --> 01:15:04,122
Why are we running?
1214
01:15:04,122 --> 01:15:05,956
- So I don't have to fight.
- Why?
1215
01:15:05,956 --> 01:15:07,997
No more potion with the Princess.
1216
01:15:07,997 --> 01:15:09,997
I'm sick of looking stupid.
1217
01:15:10,497 --> 01:15:12,622
Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw.
1218
01:15:12,622 --> 01:15:13,789
Come on!
1219
01:15:15,581 --> 01:15:16,581
Fast!
1220
01:15:17,289 --> 01:15:18,372
Faster!
1221
01:15:22,914 --> 01:15:24,331
He does this on purpose.
1222
01:16:17,206 --> 01:16:18,289
All right.
1223
01:16:23,622 --> 01:16:26,747
One more ball and it's curtains for us.
1224
01:16:27,789 --> 01:16:29,039
So, our last night...
1225
01:16:29,914 --> 01:16:31,206
I was thinking...
1226
01:16:31,872 --> 01:16:33,956
maybe as a memento...
1227
01:16:33,956 --> 01:16:34,872
Majesty!
1228
01:16:36,664 --> 01:16:37,747
Gave me a fright!
1229
01:16:37,747 --> 01:16:39,331
We'll get you out.
1230
01:16:39,331 --> 01:16:40,581
Who's that?
1231
01:16:42,664 --> 01:16:43,956
Stand back.
1232
01:16:54,747 --> 01:16:55,747
All good?
1233
01:17:03,997 --> 01:17:04,831
Sorry.
1234
01:17:17,664 --> 01:17:18,539
Rise.
1235
01:17:20,289 --> 01:17:21,122
Let's go.
1236
01:17:21,122 --> 01:17:22,622
Jump. We'll catch you.
1237
01:17:22,622 --> 01:17:24,456
What? Jump?
1238
01:17:24,456 --> 01:17:26,206
I can't leave right now!
1239
01:17:26,206 --> 01:17:28,414
Abandon a negotiation? Not my style!
1240
01:17:28,997 --> 01:17:30,831
In two balls, the guard caves.
1241
01:17:30,831 --> 01:17:33,497
Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up.
1242
01:17:34,122 --> 01:17:34,956
Are you sure?
1243
01:17:35,956 --> 01:17:36,956
Yes.
1244
01:17:37,956 --> 01:17:38,914
As you wish.
1245
01:17:42,414 --> 01:17:43,289
Take care.
1246
01:17:44,247 --> 01:17:45,497
And keep your head.
1247
01:17:47,747 --> 01:17:49,206
You're afraid for me.
1248
01:17:50,456 --> 01:17:54,414
You see, you're even more beautiful
smiling than in a temper.
1249
01:18:02,289 --> 01:18:03,956
She's so impressive!
1250
01:18:05,331 --> 01:18:06,331
Thank you.
1251
01:18:07,914 --> 01:18:08,831
Mother!
1252
01:18:09,497 --> 01:18:11,122
What joy to see you again.
1253
01:18:21,581 --> 01:18:23,122
- Alert!
- Run!
1254
01:18:23,122 --> 01:18:24,122
They've escaped!
1255
01:18:35,039 --> 01:18:36,539
Which way now? Which way?
1256
01:18:38,081 --> 01:18:39,081
Wait.
1257
01:18:40,081 --> 01:18:42,164
Good. We lost them.
1258
01:18:42,164 --> 01:18:44,497
Friends from Gaul. Thanks for your help.
1259
01:18:44,497 --> 01:18:46,414
Our pleasure, Your Majesty.
1260
01:18:47,247 --> 01:18:49,372
Seeing as no one introduces me...
1261
01:18:51,122 --> 01:18:52,414
Bankruptis.
1262
01:18:52,414 --> 01:18:54,956
We already met at the market.
1263
01:18:55,664 --> 01:18:56,706
That's right.
1264
01:18:57,497 --> 01:18:59,206
Life's full of surprises.
1265
01:19:01,581 --> 01:19:03,331
Attention issues for the Empress.
1266
01:19:04,539 --> 01:19:07,747
Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos.
Secure their support.
1267
01:19:07,747 --> 01:19:11,164
Meanwhile I'll rally
our army and followers.
1268
01:19:11,997 --> 01:19:13,247
Ka Ra Tay, come with me.
1269
01:19:13,914 --> 01:19:15,664
I shall honour you, Mother.
1270
01:19:15,664 --> 01:19:16,831
You'll be proud of me.
1271
01:19:18,706 --> 01:19:20,039
I'm already proud of you.
1272
01:19:21,956 --> 01:19:23,122
Let's go, Ka Ra Tay.
1273
01:19:40,706 --> 01:19:42,081
This will end badly.
1274
01:20:04,956 --> 01:20:06,997
Ka Ra Tay has fallen for Obelix.
1275
01:20:08,997 --> 01:20:09,831
Obelix, too.
1276
01:20:12,622 --> 01:20:15,664
I don't like all the falling-for
in this adventure.
1277
01:20:16,706 --> 01:20:17,789
So let's go.
1278
01:20:19,206 --> 01:20:20,747
Obelix, come on.
1279
01:20:29,164 --> 01:20:31,789
- What's the wine made from?
- Rice.
1280
01:20:32,872 --> 01:20:35,039
Refinement is not your strong suit.
1281
01:20:39,372 --> 01:20:41,914
Got a kick but not all bad.
1282
01:20:42,664 --> 01:20:43,789
It's relaxing.
1283
01:20:43,789 --> 01:20:44,914
Rice wine.
1284
01:20:45,539 --> 01:20:48,747
Maybe take a few amphorae
for fight nights with Wifey.
1285
01:20:51,247 --> 01:20:52,331
You see...
1286
01:20:52,331 --> 01:20:54,081
At times like this...
1287
01:20:57,456 --> 01:20:58,456
I miss her.
1288
01:20:58,956 --> 01:21:00,747
What's with the music?
1289
01:21:00,747 --> 01:21:01,747
A full band?
1290
01:21:01,747 --> 01:21:03,164
Four and a singer.
1291
01:21:03,664 --> 01:21:05,539
- You take them everywhere?
- Yes.
1292
01:21:05,539 --> 01:21:06,747
It's practical.
1293
01:21:07,747 --> 01:21:09,872
I always have my favourite music.
1294
01:21:11,456 --> 01:21:12,289
Know it?
1295
01:21:12,289 --> 01:21:13,664
Sure, obviously.
1296
01:21:14,789 --> 01:21:17,039
Now that's what I call music.
1297
01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:20,414
None of your ching-chong nonsense.
1298
01:21:34,039 --> 01:21:35,247
Amore!
1299
01:21:36,331 --> 01:21:37,331
What are you doing?
1300
01:21:39,206 --> 01:21:41,581
- I saw my wife.
- I'm nobody's wife.
1301
01:21:43,414 --> 01:21:44,289
Know what?
1302
01:21:44,289 --> 01:21:46,914
Your libation brought back the urge.
1303
01:21:49,581 --> 01:21:52,581
I shall become the next Emperor of China.
1304
01:21:53,164 --> 01:21:54,039
Wow...
1305
01:21:54,039 --> 01:21:56,831
Mama Cleo will never get over it.
1306
01:21:57,622 --> 01:22:00,372
Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo.
1307
01:22:17,789 --> 01:22:20,164
Slow down. Our exit's coming up.
1308
01:22:20,164 --> 01:22:21,539
Yes, next one.
1309
01:22:23,497 --> 01:22:25,664
Once more, thanks to Obelix,
1310
01:22:25,664 --> 01:22:29,664
our friends beat Caesar's army
to the palace of Prince Ku Koo,
1311
01:22:29,664 --> 01:22:31,414
the man in the bamboo mask.
1312
01:22:31,914 --> 01:22:32,997
Keep up.
1313
01:22:36,747 --> 01:22:37,914
I am To Fu.
1314
01:22:38,914 --> 01:22:41,956
Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo.
1315
01:22:42,539 --> 01:22:43,914
Can you prove
1316
01:22:44,622 --> 01:22:46,747
you really are Princess Sa See?
1317
01:22:47,914 --> 01:22:50,581
I give my word.
I am the Empress's daughter.
1318
01:22:50,581 --> 01:22:54,289
Sadly, your word is not enough.
1319
01:22:55,539 --> 01:22:57,206
You could be a spy
1320
01:22:57,831 --> 01:22:58,997
in the pay
1321
01:22:58,997 --> 01:23:00,581
of Deng Tsin Quin!
1322
01:23:03,122 --> 01:23:03,956
The coin!
1323
01:23:09,872 --> 01:23:13,372
Will you now bow
before your Empress's daughter?
1324
01:23:15,372 --> 01:23:17,497
I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See.
1325
01:23:17,497 --> 01:23:19,247
We must be careful.
1326
01:23:19,872 --> 01:23:22,289
His Highness, the Prince...
1327
01:23:22,289 --> 01:23:23,414
of Ku Koo!
1328
01:23:35,789 --> 01:23:36,789
What the heck?
1329
01:23:37,414 --> 01:23:39,581
Don't turn your back. It's rude!
1330
01:23:39,581 --> 01:23:40,664
In his house.
1331
01:24:03,289 --> 01:24:04,289
Princess Sa See,
1332
01:24:04,289 --> 01:24:06,956
Prince of Ku Koo, with my men,
at your service.
1333
01:24:06,956 --> 01:24:09,581
We support your mother, our Empress.
1334
01:24:11,289 --> 01:24:12,289
Thanks.
1335
01:24:12,956 --> 01:24:14,081
Sorry, I'm lost for...
1336
01:24:14,664 --> 01:24:16,956
All my fault.
My cursed mane frightens you.
1337
01:24:17,706 --> 01:24:19,539
On the contrary, it suits you.
1338
01:24:21,164 --> 01:24:22,581
Nobody ever said that.
1339
01:24:22,581 --> 01:24:24,539
I never wanted to say it.
1340
01:24:39,956 --> 01:24:42,122
That's love at first look.
1341
01:24:42,122 --> 01:24:44,581
Whole weeks of work for nothing.
1342
01:24:47,372 --> 01:24:49,331
Back to the friend zone.
1343
01:24:50,664 --> 01:24:51,706
Let's go.
1344
01:24:53,164 --> 01:24:54,664
We have a country to save.
1345
01:25:08,664 --> 01:25:10,831
Gotta be cuckoo
to build a palace in a hollow.
1346
01:25:11,331 --> 01:25:12,497
No way out.
1347
01:25:12,997 --> 01:25:14,872
Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief.
1348
01:25:18,914 --> 01:25:20,289
Here we go again.
1349
01:25:20,289 --> 01:25:21,539
Blah-blah time.
1350
01:25:33,456 --> 01:25:35,289
I am Princess Sa See.
1351
01:25:35,289 --> 01:25:37,664
Submit to the sole Empress of China.
1352
01:25:39,414 --> 01:25:40,831
Sa See darling,
1353
01:25:40,831 --> 01:25:42,497
we can marry at last.
1354
01:25:42,497 --> 01:25:45,997
Don't bet on it.
You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin.
1355
01:25:46,872 --> 01:25:49,706
- She's no pushover.
- Can't lie, sparks aren't flying.
1356
01:25:49,706 --> 01:25:52,164
I have a question for you.
1357
01:25:53,497 --> 01:25:54,831
How many?
1358
01:25:54,831 --> 01:25:56,206
Ten thousand.
1359
01:25:56,206 --> 01:25:59,831
Because we are 80,000-strong!
1360
01:26:05,997 --> 01:26:09,206
That's experience for you.
Not boasting, I've never lost.
1361
01:26:09,206 --> 01:26:10,289
You're wonderful.
1362
01:26:10,289 --> 01:26:11,956
You miscounted, Princess.
1363
01:26:11,956 --> 01:26:13,622
Ten thousand plus two.
1364
01:26:13,622 --> 01:26:14,956
If you still need me.
1365
01:26:14,956 --> 01:26:16,206
Peek-a-boo, Julius!
1366
01:26:16,206 --> 01:26:17,414
It's us!
1367
01:26:17,414 --> 01:26:18,331
The crazies!
1368
01:26:18,331 --> 01:26:19,622
Not plus two.
1369
01:26:19,622 --> 01:26:20,831
Plus three!
1370
01:26:21,414 --> 01:26:23,122
The man in the bamboo mask.
1371
01:26:25,039 --> 01:26:25,956
Gross!
1372
01:26:25,956 --> 01:26:27,831
Poor guy's blond!
1373
01:26:27,831 --> 01:26:28,872
It's not too bad.
1374
01:26:28,872 --> 01:26:30,497
Not plus three. Plus four!
1375
01:26:31,206 --> 01:26:32,331
I'm the man
1376
01:26:33,122 --> 01:26:34,247
with feather feet!
1377
01:26:34,247 --> 01:26:35,539
What is this?
1378
01:26:42,039 --> 01:26:44,372
Why talk when you can run?
1379
01:26:56,831 --> 01:26:59,081
He didn't warm up. The chump!
1380
01:26:59,081 --> 01:27:00,872
- Did I say charge?
- No.
1381
01:27:03,789 --> 01:27:04,872
Substitute!
1382
01:27:09,081 --> 01:27:10,456
Antivirus!
1383
01:27:47,331 --> 01:27:49,206
Asterix, I'll have a drop.
1384
01:27:49,789 --> 01:27:50,831
Not enough for four.
1385
01:27:50,831 --> 01:27:52,081
"Not enough for four!"
1386
01:27:55,789 --> 01:27:57,164
The cheats!
1387
01:27:57,164 --> 01:27:58,331
Won't help them.
1388
01:27:59,872 --> 01:28:01,747
Charge!
1389
01:28:18,997 --> 01:28:19,997
Yes?
1390
01:28:20,539 --> 01:28:21,539
Of course.
1391
01:29:11,206 --> 01:29:12,164
Help me.
1392
01:29:12,747 --> 01:29:13,831
Pipe down.
1393
01:29:13,831 --> 01:29:14,914
You've got gall.
1394
01:29:15,456 --> 01:29:16,289
Gall...
1395
01:29:16,289 --> 01:29:17,372
Gaul!
1396
01:29:30,289 --> 01:29:31,622
Can I join in?
1397
01:29:31,622 --> 01:29:32,956
Yeah, sure.
1398
01:29:32,956 --> 01:29:34,039
Archers!
1399
01:29:34,997 --> 01:29:35,914
Prepare!
1400
01:29:36,497 --> 01:29:37,497
Draw!
1401
01:29:37,997 --> 01:29:39,081
Loose!
1402
01:29:40,456 --> 01:29:42,747
Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China!
1403
01:29:45,664 --> 01:29:46,664
Arrows!
1404
01:30:01,247 --> 01:30:02,706
You can't be serious.
1405
01:30:02,706 --> 01:30:04,122
Don't judge me.
1406
01:30:06,747 --> 01:30:07,706
I feel it.
1407
01:30:08,956 --> 01:30:10,414
I feel it rising.
1408
01:30:13,581 --> 01:30:14,706
It's insane!
1409
01:30:16,164 --> 01:30:18,247
That's it?
1410
01:30:20,956 --> 01:30:22,331
No way! It's a joke.
1411
01:30:32,247 --> 01:30:33,414
I smell victory.
1412
01:30:35,247 --> 01:30:36,414
A particular scent?
1413
01:30:37,622 --> 01:30:39,747
Do readers care for such details?
1414
01:30:39,747 --> 01:30:41,164
It sets the scene.
1415
01:30:42,956 --> 01:30:44,622
The scent of laurels.
1416
01:30:44,622 --> 01:30:47,414
Excellent!
1417
01:31:09,581 --> 01:31:10,539
Thanks.
1418
01:31:10,539 --> 01:31:11,789
You're welcome.
1419
01:31:15,122 --> 01:31:17,039
We fell out but I can help out.
1420
01:31:17,622 --> 01:31:18,456
Sure.
1421
01:31:18,456 --> 01:31:19,456
I'm on your side.
1422
01:31:21,122 --> 01:31:21,956
Sure.
1423
01:31:23,497 --> 01:31:25,039
You'll always be my chum.
1424
01:31:28,206 --> 01:31:29,039
Sure.
1425
01:31:30,372 --> 01:31:31,706
Sorry, Obelix.
1426
01:31:56,539 --> 01:31:57,497
Stop!
1427
01:32:12,039 --> 01:32:13,456
Before I die...
1428
01:32:14,872 --> 01:32:16,622
I must tell you, Princess...
1429
01:32:42,664 --> 01:32:43,497
Look!
1430
01:32:45,247 --> 01:32:47,039
Just when all seems lost,
1431
01:32:47,622 --> 01:32:49,247
the Empress arrives,
1432
01:32:49,247 --> 01:32:52,289
followed by her army and entire people.
1433
01:32:52,289 --> 01:32:53,747
They are all there,
1434
01:32:53,747 --> 01:32:57,372
marching across the middle kingdom
1435
01:32:57,372 --> 01:32:59,831
to the scene of the final battle.
1436
01:33:16,872 --> 01:33:18,789
- What on Earth is this?
- Not sure.
1437
01:33:18,789 --> 01:33:21,331
Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels.
1438
01:33:21,872 --> 01:33:23,247
Pine boxes maybe.
1439
01:33:32,206 --> 01:33:33,747
I am Empress of China.
1440
01:33:33,747 --> 01:33:36,372
I order you to leave my empire forthwith.
1441
01:33:37,414 --> 01:33:38,497
Never!
1442
01:33:38,997 --> 01:33:41,164
She has a temper. Reminds me of someone.
1443
01:33:43,122 --> 01:33:44,247
Your Majesty!
1444
01:33:45,122 --> 01:33:47,456
Rather than ruin everything in anger,
1445
01:33:47,456 --> 01:33:50,164
perhaps we could envisage
a sort of alliance.
1446
01:33:50,164 --> 01:33:53,081
When the cloud conceals the sun,
1447
01:33:53,081 --> 01:33:55,497
my army will reduce you to dust.
1448
01:33:56,331 --> 01:33:57,497
What's that?
1449
01:33:58,039 --> 01:33:58,997
A local proverb?
1450
01:33:58,997 --> 01:34:01,747
No, it's literal. It's happening.
1451
01:34:07,456 --> 01:34:08,706
How many of you?
1452
01:34:08,706 --> 01:34:09,997
He's at it again.
1453
01:34:10,622 --> 01:34:11,456
One
1454
01:34:11,997 --> 01:34:12,831
million!
1455
01:34:15,956 --> 01:34:17,039
Game changer.
1456
01:34:18,747 --> 01:34:20,997
I'll be going. I'm not from here.
1457
01:34:20,997 --> 01:34:23,081
I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted.
1458
01:34:24,081 --> 01:34:25,164
Don't desert us.
1459
01:34:25,164 --> 01:34:26,664
There's a million of them.
1460
01:34:27,456 --> 01:34:28,456
It's not my war.
1461
01:34:34,247 --> 01:34:35,539
I can't go like this.
1462
01:34:38,622 --> 01:34:39,664
Rear up!
1463
01:34:51,206 --> 01:34:52,331
Got your message!
1464
01:34:52,331 --> 01:34:55,289
Say goodbye to my little pyramid!
Cleopatra
1465
01:34:56,539 --> 01:34:58,247
It's been a tough day.
1466
01:34:59,081 --> 01:34:59,914
A tough day.
1467
01:35:39,206 --> 01:35:40,789
That feels good.
1468
01:35:42,289 --> 01:35:44,289
Here we are, back in Gaul.
1469
01:35:44,789 --> 01:35:47,372
Not only
for our friends' customary banquet,
1470
01:35:48,081 --> 01:35:51,956
but also to celebrate Gaul and China.
1471
01:35:55,247 --> 01:35:57,914
And now the Empress will speak.
1472
01:35:59,956 --> 01:36:01,039
Valiant Gauls!
1473
01:36:02,122 --> 01:36:03,914
You have my eternal gratitude.
1474
01:36:04,664 --> 01:36:06,706
It was an honour, Your Majesty.
1475
01:36:06,706 --> 01:36:09,206
I insisted we come to help.
1476
01:36:10,622 --> 01:36:12,456
We made this long journey
1477
01:36:12,456 --> 01:36:14,497
to celebrate a beautiful alliance.
1478
01:36:23,206 --> 01:36:24,747
That's my cousin Remix.
1479
01:36:25,331 --> 01:36:27,122
A specialist in world music.
1480
01:36:27,956 --> 01:36:29,164
He's my cousin.
1481
01:36:29,164 --> 01:36:31,456
Mine. Not yours, mine!
1482
01:37:18,122 --> 01:37:20,622
We have a lot in common, you and I.
1483
01:37:20,622 --> 01:37:21,789
We're chiefs.
1484
01:37:21,789 --> 01:37:24,456
I always think
power isolates you from people.
1485
01:37:24,456 --> 01:37:25,789
Don't you agree?
1486
01:37:28,164 --> 01:37:30,039
And I'm not done.
1487
01:37:30,039 --> 01:37:32,372
And behind every great man
1488
01:37:32,372 --> 01:37:33,539
is a great woman.
1489
01:37:33,539 --> 01:37:36,622
Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing.
At home, she holds the shield.
1490
01:37:36,622 --> 01:37:39,372
I'm not disturbing you?
You're having a good day?
1491
01:37:40,747 --> 01:37:41,706
We'll talk at home.
1492
01:37:43,372 --> 01:37:44,289
Mimenta!
1493
01:37:44,914 --> 01:37:47,497
Excuse me, minor marital contretemps.
1494
01:37:51,122 --> 01:37:52,872
I thought he'd never leave.
1495
01:37:54,581 --> 01:37:57,581
You know, when you left the cell,
I kept my head...
1496
01:37:59,122 --> 01:38:00,122
However...
1497
01:38:00,789 --> 01:38:01,997
I lost my heart.
1498
01:38:02,747 --> 01:38:03,831
Now, now.
1499
01:38:04,331 --> 01:38:06,581
Well then, where's my little heart?
1500
01:38:09,581 --> 01:38:10,664
Bankruptis, look.
1501
01:38:11,247 --> 01:38:12,997
Uncle didn't nod off in prison.
1502
01:38:13,914 --> 01:38:14,997
Classy!
1503
01:38:21,956 --> 01:38:22,789
One more plate.
1504
01:38:22,789 --> 01:38:24,914
No, a dish. A big dish! Share?
1505
01:38:25,914 --> 01:38:27,706
- I won't crack.
- Silly me.
1506
01:38:29,081 --> 01:38:30,664
Still don't miss it?
1507
01:38:31,164 --> 01:38:32,289
Not at all.
1508
01:38:32,789 --> 01:38:33,789
Honestly...
1509
01:38:34,289 --> 01:38:35,456
the smell is vile.
1510
01:38:36,747 --> 01:38:38,664
There are still triggers, though.
1511
01:38:39,622 --> 01:38:41,872
Drink an ale and it becomes tricky.
1512
01:38:43,331 --> 01:38:44,331
Hi, Obelix.
1513
01:38:45,039 --> 01:38:45,872
Panacea.
1514
01:38:46,914 --> 01:38:47,831
I'm interrupting?
1515
01:38:48,872 --> 01:38:50,122
I can see I am.
1516
01:38:50,789 --> 01:38:51,956
You ignore me now.
1517
01:38:53,372 --> 01:38:54,581
Are the rumours true?
1518
01:38:54,581 --> 01:38:56,039
You and Ka Ra Tay?
1519
01:38:57,039 --> 01:38:57,956
Seriously?
1520
01:38:57,956 --> 01:39:00,164
Long-distance relationships don't work.
1521
01:39:00,164 --> 01:39:02,122
Honestly, her there, you here...
1522
01:39:02,122 --> 01:39:03,039
And I'm here.
1523
01:39:03,622 --> 01:39:06,331
Waiting for you for months, worried sick,
1524
01:39:06,331 --> 01:39:07,872
and you fall in love?
1525
01:39:08,747 --> 01:39:09,914
Don't you love me?
1526
01:39:10,831 --> 01:39:12,206
Is that a yes or a no?
1527
01:39:12,206 --> 01:39:13,539
You wanted me.
1528
01:39:14,039 --> 01:39:15,289
Is it a yes or a no?
1529
01:39:15,289 --> 01:39:17,331
- I forget you?
- Say yes!
1530
01:39:17,331 --> 01:39:18,414
Panacea...
1531
01:39:19,706 --> 01:39:20,581
Don't bother.
1532
01:39:20,581 --> 01:39:23,456
You know the village
thrives on new adventures.
1533
01:39:25,247 --> 01:39:27,372
It's time for me to do the same.
1534
01:39:27,372 --> 01:39:28,414
Nothing personal.
1535
01:39:29,497 --> 01:39:30,539
Excuse me...
1536
01:39:31,372 --> 01:39:32,331
You're nuts.
1537
01:39:34,122 --> 01:39:35,414
But I'd...
1538
01:41:59,206 --> 01:42:00,164
Good, wasn't it?
1539
01:42:00,664 --> 01:42:02,414
Everyone had a great time.
1540
01:42:04,164 --> 01:42:05,372
Yes, a fine feast.
1541
01:42:08,372 --> 01:42:10,581
So Ka Ra Tay has gone home?
1542
01:42:10,581 --> 01:42:12,497
Sure. It's a long ride.
1543
01:42:14,539 --> 01:42:16,164
She said I'm her true love.
1544
01:42:17,372 --> 01:42:18,372
Did she?
1545
01:42:19,039 --> 01:42:19,872
Wonderful.
1546
01:42:21,039 --> 01:42:22,164
Even so...
1547
01:42:22,747 --> 01:42:23,664
she didn't stay?
1548
01:42:23,664 --> 01:42:25,497
She'd have loved to, but...
1549
01:42:25,997 --> 01:42:29,247
Too much work in China,
lots of responsibility at the palace.
1550
01:42:30,122 --> 01:42:31,747
But there's time, we'll meet again.
1551
01:42:32,247 --> 01:42:33,081
As grown-ups.
1552
01:42:34,206 --> 01:42:35,039
As grown-ups?
1553
01:42:35,622 --> 01:42:36,456
Yes.
1554
01:42:38,997 --> 01:42:40,581
Tired. I'm going to bed.
1555
01:42:46,122 --> 01:42:47,456
One for the road?
1556
01:42:47,456 --> 01:42:49,331
I wouldn't say no.
1557
01:42:58,622 --> 01:42:59,747
My chum!
1558
01:43:15,706 --> 01:43:16,789
{\an8}THE END
1559
01:43:16,789 --> 01:43:19,247
{\an8}For René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo
1560
01:44:18,706 --> 01:44:20,247
You don't want me to sing?
1561
01:44:25,206 --> 01:44:26,497
I'm gonna sing anyway
1562
01:44:28,581 --> 01:44:30,372
You don't want me to sing?
1563
01:44:32,122 --> 01:44:34,081
You don't want me to sing
1564
01:44:34,081 --> 01:44:35,331
The surprise!
1565
01:44:35,331 --> 01:44:37,081
- What surprise?
- Hold on.
1566
01:44:39,789 --> 01:44:42,664
So what is it? My voice or just me?
1567
01:44:42,664 --> 01:44:45,289
So is it me or my voice?
1568
01:44:46,289 --> 01:44:49,206
So is my voice not right?
It's what you don't like?
1569
01:44:49,206 --> 01:44:50,956
Or is it just me?
1570
01:44:51,706 --> 01:44:54,414
Tell me what's wrong
Always something wrong
1571
01:44:55,706 --> 01:44:57,456
Don't do this, don't do that
1572
01:44:57,456 --> 01:45:00,289
Is it my lyrics or my voice I don't get it
1573
01:45:00,289 --> 01:45:03,206
Don't call me paranoid
You're all against me
1574
01:45:28,372 --> 01:45:29,831
Caesar said,
1575
01:45:29,831 --> 01:45:31,956
"I want it gleaming when I get back."
1576
01:45:32,789 --> 01:45:33,872
So buff!
1577
01:45:34,706 --> 01:45:35,956
Buff, buff, buff!
1578
01:45:38,372 --> 01:45:39,581
That's the spirit!
1579
01:45:42,997 --> 01:45:44,247
You keep Gaul.
1580
01:45:44,247 --> 01:45:46,331
I take China, rest of the world.
1581
01:45:46,331 --> 01:45:47,706
It'll go gangbusters.
1582
01:45:47,706 --> 01:45:49,997
Take it or leave it right now.
1583
01:45:50,581 --> 01:45:52,122
What might go gangbusters?
1584
01:45:52,122 --> 01:45:53,997
- I didn't say that.
- Sure you did.
1585
01:45:53,997 --> 01:45:55,789
Top-notch merchants like me,
1586
01:45:55,789 --> 01:45:58,581
we read your lips
even five kilometers away.
1587
01:45:58,581 --> 01:46:00,581
- Why'd you say that?
- I didn't!
1588
01:46:00,581 --> 01:46:02,872
- You did.
- I'll lash out!
1589
01:46:04,956 --> 01:46:07,831
You know, duckie,
your Julius is no lost cause.
1590
01:46:07,831 --> 01:46:10,331
So just send him a message.
1591
01:46:10,331 --> 01:46:13,456
"I'd go above and beyond,
I'd dye my hair blond..."
1592
01:46:13,456 --> 01:46:16,122
It's in the bag. The rascal will be back.
1593
01:46:17,122 --> 01:46:19,997
You're right.
Why did I ever flip my headdress?
1594
01:46:22,956 --> 01:46:25,872
Flat out. You got a pigeon charger?
1595
01:46:26,456 --> 01:46:28,372
Sit tight, I'll find you one.
1596
01:46:29,664 --> 01:46:31,456
With an Egyptian connector!
1597
01:46:32,247 --> 01:46:33,581
Why Egyptian?
1598
01:46:44,706 --> 01:46:47,206
Are you done making a ruckus?
1599
01:46:47,789 --> 01:46:49,456
We're trying to sleep!
1600
01:46:55,081 --> 01:46:55,997
Sorry.
1601
01:46:59,997 --> 01:47:01,831
Goodnight!
1602
01:47:01,831 --> 01:47:04,081
Goodnight, little Gauls!
1603
01:50:32,914 --> 01:50:35,122
Subtitle translation by Simon John