The story, all names, characters and incidents seen here are fictitious.
No identification with actual persons (living or deceased),
places, products, genetic procedures or giant puppies
is intended or should be inferred.
No animals were harmed in the making of this film.
When I was a boy,
my dad loved taking me to see churches,
parks,
palaces...
That kind of thing.
He wasn't very religious, but he loved churches.
He loved looking at the paintings on the ceilings.
He would say, "Diamantino, these ceilings are sublime.
"They are so beautiful...
"that they give faith to people."
His favorite was the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
But he said that today
there are no more painters like Mr. Michelangelo.
They no longer exist.
He said that today, the most beautiful art of all
is created here in this new cathedral.
My dad always said that today's Michelangelo
was me.
Painting was never really my thing,
and I wasn't good at much else.
But my dad always told me:
"What you do on the field is sublime.
"You make such wonderful, wonderful things...
"that you give faith to people."
It was true.
Something magical happened when I played.
Something sort of transcendental.
Everything faded away.
The grass, the fans...
Only I was left.
Me and the fluffy puppies.
So, son...
tell me,
are you nervous?
Tomorrow is the World Cup Final.
You want to win the title for Portugal?
So what?
You may win,
you may lose,
but I'll always love you.
I'll love you forever.
My dad always kept an eye on me.
Him and the entire world.
They all watched me: my fans, the paparazzi
and even those cops...
the Portuguese Secret Service.
Aisha, you scared me.
I caught the guy at the haunted house.
It was so cool. I loved it.
I had no idea,
but these two love birds were spying on me.
Who's that hottie?
Diamantino, the soccer player.
What did he do?
Money laundering.
Look at the idiot.
Tino.
- Throw me a towel. - Two.
Two people, two towels.
Come on, Diamantino. Two each.
Such a fool.
Help us.
Give us a hand.
Diamantino, help your sisters.
What are those muscles for?
Come on.
These are my sisters.
They're twins.
When they got angry, I could not tell them apart.
And they were always angry.
And me? There are two of us, you idiot.
Such a dummy... Two drinks.
Is it that hard?
What is that?
Some refugees.
- Fugees? - Yes.
What's that?
What is it?
It's people that flee, riding on waves.
I wasn't very well-informed.
I didn't know nothing outside of soccer.
I didn't know people like this existed... adrift,
with no country,
no water.
Come.
Grab my hand.
On that boat came a woman
who lost her child at sea.
My God...
I had never seen such sadness in someone's eyes.
Never.
When I came to my senses,
I was in the last minutes of the World Cup final.
We're in the final 5 minutes
of the 2018 World Cup in Russia.
Portugal is losing 1-0.
Sweden is about to win this unique...
but Diamantino steals the ball.
Is this it?
He might score the miracle goal,
the godly goal, the golden goal...
Diamantino looks injured.
We are waiting to see what happened.
Diamantino was on a breakaway and fell. A dive?
What's this idiot gone and done?
He's injured.
The Swedish hyenas have relentlessly attacked...
It doesn't matter if he wins or loses.
- What do you mean? - Just doesn't.
- He loses, we lose our money. - So ungrateful.
Shut up, I want to hear it.
...a tragedy unseen since the Greeks.
The medics are on the field.
Is this the end for Portugal? Diamantino's on the ground.
- He's faking, he's gonna lose the game. - Doesn't matter.
Shut up.
The problem with your son
is that you're his agent.
You know what you did? Made him a pussy.
You're worthless.
We're what?
We're fucking bitches.
It's your fault he's like this, you turned him into a pussy.
All you want is his money.
- Sure. - Really?
Look,
do you know what we'll do? You're done being his agent.
Do you hear me?
Pretending you're dead now?
Just like his son, taking a dive.
He must be so injured.
I don't think he's breathing.
Hold on...
He's not breathing.
I can't believe it.
The Phoenix rises!
Diamantino gets up. Diamantino stays on the field.
The referee grants a penalty kick to Portugal. It's incredible!
The atmosphere is electric.
I can feel every spectator in this stadium.
Such energy, furor, and emotion!
Diamantino, the genius.
This Zeus of the field fires a lightning bolt
to each spectator.
Who could have foreseen this?
Diamantino has a 95% success rate scoring penalties.
One minute left in this World Cup.
One minute to save Portugal.
If Diamantino scores, we'll go into overtime.
I was all mixed up.
My head was getting...
very foggy.
The fluffy puppies began to disappear.
It's a tense moment
for both teams...
Will Diamantino tie the game?
He prepares to shoot and...
A save!
Fuck you, Diamantino.
- You bastard. - Fuck.
Such a tragic moment for Portugal,
and only one man is to blame.
Diamantino,
the king,
the angel, has fallen.
Are you sure you don't want to come?
It's too sad.
I love you so much, Daddy.
I'm going to miss you so much.
I have a proposition for you.
We'd like to enroll your brother
in a trial treatment
that will make you rich.
How rich?
Look...
Can we speak later? We have to hang up.
Come on down to the Ministry and we'll go over the details.
- Send us an estimate. - Please send it.
I had an epiphany.
- A "phany"? - What's that?
Some ideas...
- I'm going to give up soccer. - No.
You're what?
So that's a "phany"?
A "phany"?
It's what Daddy wanted.
How can you be so selfish?
Did you like the proposal?
- We loved it. - Yes.
Diamantino will be our icon and will be cloned by the party.
Do whatever you want,
we don't give a damn.
Where do we sign?
A van will pick up Diamantino every two days.
Lamborghini Genetics
I'm all alone, Mittens.
Such a tragic week for Portugal.
Diamantino Matamouros,
the world's most famous soccer star,
went from national icon
to clown in a matter of days.
The Internet has seen a flood of Diamantino memes,
portraying him as a crying baby,
a baby with dirty diapers
or a baby drinking a bottle.
Diamantino's career is finished,
but his fame as a meme sensation is...
...after another tragedy at the beginning of the week
we're witnessing a rise in refugees
traveling towards Europe,
arriving via Turkey or the Mediterranean sea
in precarious boats.
13% of refugees are children
mostly unaccompanied
or who lost their families during the crossing.
São Vicente Catholic Center created an orphanage.
The center welcomes adoption applications.
The orphans...
- Diamantino... - Come on.
You're late for the interview.
...contact sãovicente.pt.
Are you listening?
More children will continue to arrive
every week.
I don't want to go to the interview.
I'm sad thinking about Dad.
We know.
We are also sad.
Very sad.
We found you a doctor.
Doctor Lamborghini.
Lamborghini? Why?
Like your car.
To help you get back in the zone.
- Your flow. - My flow?
- Your genius. - Your mojo.
Your thing, you know?
So I can see the puppies again?
To see whatever you want, my love.
We'll buy you all the puppies.
- You deserve it all. - We'll buy them.
Good morning.
I am Gisele, and we are here
live from Lisbon, Portugal.
Our guest today is
Diamantino Matamouros.
Diamantino, you tweeted,
"I'll respond honestly to every question."
Are you giving upon your career?
Yes or no?
Yes.
Let's talk about your dad.
A single dad,
he raised you,
he taught you how to play soccer.
He was very important for you, right?
Yes.
He watched you miss
that crucial penalty for Portugal
in the World Cup.
At that moment,
he couldn't take it,
had a stroke
and died.
Let's look at those images, Diamantino.
Good job, Dad.
Hey champ.
What a champ!
These are tough images,
Diamantino.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Gisele. I miss my dad so much.
I miss him terribly.
My last memory of him
was when we were on our yacht
and some people showed up, some "Fugees".
Refugees.
Some can't swim.
Just couldn't swim.
My dad tried to save them.
I want to do good.
I want to help the "Fugees".
And I want to adopt a "fugee", just for me.
Diamantino, you're saying, live on TV,
to the world,
that you'll adopt a refugee?
Yes, I'll adopt a little "fugee"
and give him all the love in the world.
Where will the "fugee" come from?
Anywhere...
maybe Canada.
Is he that soccer player?
Yeah, it's Diamantino.
He wants to adopt kids now?
So gross.
A little "fugee", to give him so much love.
I only want to help.
I gotta get back to my drones.
I've got us a place in Bangkok
for our honeymoon.
I'm so happy.
Aren't you?
...they are so skinny.
I'll feed them Nutella crepes
and Bongo juice.
I'll make a mini Diamantino.
We have to do good
because they have nothing.
They have nothing.
I have it all.
God gave me every thing.
Aisha thought
the adoption was a charm offensive
to get people to like me again.
So she got a crazy idea.
She talked her boss into it.
Soon after came the day
my life was turned upside down.
Lucia played a nun from the Catholic orphanage.
Aisha played Rahim, the refugee orphan.
As for me? I played myself,
the dumb fool.
I've waited all my life to meet you.
All my life.
I'm making you sad.
This isn't a sad moment.
I'll treat you so well and give you everything.
I'll never leave you.
Let's go see your new home.
Thanks, Sister Lucia.
Good luck.
Goodbye, Rahim.
Thank you, Diamantino.
Lucia's heart beat like a hummingbird.
It was a risky ambush.
Her partner was in danger.
But none of us could imagine
the nightmare that would follow.
Aisha was a darn good actress.
Yes, sir.
But she was also surprised.
I was nervous
in my new role as a dad.
Very nervous.
Rahim also seemed nervous.
But when I left him alone,
Rahim turned into Aisha and got to work
on her investigation.
Natasha.
Sonia.
- Get closer. - No, that way.
- Are you nuts? - Son of a bitch.
- Grab him. - No, wait.
Not a chance, pig.
Sisters.
Rahim is here.
Come meet him.
So you adopted a kid?
Everyone is kicking refugees out,
and you bring one into our house?
What the hell has gotten into you?
We thought you were trying to please your fans...
Shit.
Homo.
Sissy.
Faggot.
Get back here.
Tino.
My sisters were often mean.
They abused me, hit me,
shouted at me.
That kind of thing.
But I loved them.
I loved them.
This is Rahim.
Hello, sweetie.
So, you're Rahim...
Rahim?
Right?
Give auntie a kiss, will you?
Such beautiful lips.
Does he talk?
Is he deaf?
Leave Rahim alone.
Shut up.
I was sad
because they weren't nice to Rahim.
So I gave my son the royal treatment.
Bongo juice
and cream and Nutella waffles.
That kind of thing.
Here, a Bongo juice
and Nutella waffles.
Thanks.
See if you like it.
It's Daddy's favorite.
Like it?
Were you very hungry?
Do you like the Bongo juice?
Do you know the Bongo song?
Don't you have Bongo in Mozambique?
Like it?
You were hungry.
Daddy's got a present for you.
Close your eyes.
Do you know what this is?
Samsung Galaxy 9.
It's the 9, the latest model.
Let's take a photo?
You have to make
a deep face.
Like a fish.
I was having terrible nightmares about refugees.
Meanwhile, Aisha got to work.
She was a computer whiz.
She had some gadgets to search my offshore accounts.
Crack password
Search: offshore accounts app
No results
But I had no offshore accounts.
I had no idea what they were.
Tino-Private
I only had photos of baby animals and other cute stuff.
Send files
Aisha thought it was funny.
She sent the photos to Miss Lucia.
Of course, she liked them and laughed.
After all, who doesn't like cute critters?
Portugal was never small.
Vote yes to leave the EU.
After Dad died,
my sisters became my agents.
I didn't know they were stealing from me.
But they were sending my money to a secret account in Panama.
Give me that.
I was scared when I met Dr. Lamborghini.
She freaked me out.
She walked in the water
with the creatures that she researched.
Clams that could talk.
Cucumbers that could walk.
And little fish that looked like zebras.
It was all very strange.
And I was her new specimen.
Take off your clothes.
Supposedly the doctor wanted to find the source of my genius on the field.
Begin brain mapping.
Locate brain activity.
Beginning brain mapping.
- What's your diet? - Normal.
Oreos,
Nutella pancakes...
waffles.
Bongo juice.
Do you like boys or girls?
I like boys and girls. Both.
I like animals too.
I have a kitten, but I didn't bring him.
His name is Mittens.
Very well.
When was the last time you had sex?
The last time?
I've never done that.
Must be cool,
but seems difficult.
Dr. Lamborghini.
The genetic code that you are inserting in Diamantino's body
to reveal genes associated with his athletic performance
carries risks of causing unwanted physical malformations.
I need additional information.
The clownfish genes are linked to hermaphroditic genes
in this species.
Diamantino may grow breasts.
Continue or ignore?
Show me brain activity.
Certainly, Dr. Lamborghini.
All brain activity is functioning at 10% of the normal level.
That's funny.
His cognitive capabilities equal those of a child
yet are full of compassion.
Diamantino, can you describe what you see on the field?
Normal things.
I see the net, the grass.
I also see the linesman
and the puppies.
Fluffy ones.
Fluffy puppies?
Yes.
Puppies.
Can you draw them?
Sure.
At the end of my appointment,
the doctor asked me to draw the fluffy puppies.
I think I did a pretty good job.
Should I draw Mittens as well?
Rahim.
Were you on another continent?
- Look at your dad's cat shit there. - Shit everywhere.
Since you love your daddy so much...
clean it up.
Rahim, what are you doing?
You don't have to clean up.
They'll do it.
Never pick up a mop in this house again, ok?
Never.
From then on, I swore to myself
to never lose sight of Rahim again.
So I brought him along to a film shoot
for a really weird commercial.
I'd acted in a lot of commercials.
But at that time, I must admit,
I didn't really get
what this one was about.
Diamantino,
you must believe you are King Sebastião,
the Christian savior of the Portuguese race.
Every cell of your body must yearn for Moorish blood.
You want to eradicate that pestilent race off the face of the earth.
It's magic hour, let's film.
Sound,
camera,
speed...
Action.
Up you go.
Now, draw the sword.
One, two, three.
You did it. Victory for Portugal.
They're coming, look out.
Begin to fight.
Diamantino, behind you.
And now, the sword move...
Diamantino, what are you doing?
You don't die.
Cut.
It's a wrap.
It was a great time, great fun.
But I had no idea she was getting close to me,
conquering my heart
only to trick me.
Only to trick me.
Aisha, in the role of Rahim, gained my trust,
my tenderness, my love.
And boy was I fooled,
thinking these feelings were mutual.
Totally fooled.
He was an extraordinary man.
My hero, my inspiration.
I wish you had met him.
He meant a lot to me.
Don't laugh.
This is Daddy at his best.
Did you have a lot of girlfriends?
No way,
what?
Daddy is a solitary person.
You never married?
No, never. And I don't want to.
I'll never marry.
I don't want to.
Daddy loves you lots.
Goodnight.
I love you too, Daddy.
This love I felt
that grew between us,
reminded me of my childhood,
like the love I felt for my dad.
They were beautiful moments,
truly beautiful.
But...
they wouldn't last forever.
Sister Lucia was disturbed to see us so happy.
Sister Lucia, how are you?
I need to ask Rahim a few questions.
It should take about an hour.
Sure, no problem.
Thanks.
Aisha.
Are you ok, sweetie?
Yes.
Did he hurt you?
He couldn't hurt a fly.
Are you ok?
Yes.
Do we have enough to arrest him?
I want you out of here quickly.
He's innocent.
What do you mean?
I think it's the sisters that have offshore accounts.
I need to investigate them,
but I need more time.
I'm close.
He won't come in.
Mrs. Lucia missed Aisha terribly.
And investigating my life
was putting stress on their relationship.
Aisha, no.
Stop it.
If you really loved me,
you'd have become a drone pilot.
Lucia wanted Aisha to get an office job,
something less risky.
But Aisha was a little firecracker.
Yes, she was.
Crack Password
Rich Bitches
Crack Password
2 $exy ladies
Transfer from Ministry of Propaganda Project Diamantino
Natasha & Sonia Matamouros LTD...
Search: Project Diamantino
Access Denied
Execute Hacking
Access authorized
Dear leaders of the Portuguese National Front,
I am Helena Guerra, marketing director.
We are six months away from the referendum to leave the EU.
Project Diamantino is going well.
Phase 1, the propaganda campaign, has begun production.
Phase2, cloning Diamantino,
has been initiated at Lamborghini Genetics.
Scientists have analyzed Diamantino's brain
in order to understand his genius, his power.
They have synthesized his DNA and replicated it
to create a team of Diamantino clones
capable of defeating any rival.
Soccer,
the opium of the masses, will elate our country.
Making a happier Portugal.
A more nationalistic Portugal.
My appeal to you
to ensure the masses vote yes to leave the EU
when the crucial moment comes:
leaders of the Front National,
please approve the additional 19 million euros
for Phase 2 of project Diamantino
to clone Diamantino.
Thank you.
Daddy,
where do you go every afternoon?
I visit Dr. Lamborghini for physicals.
My sisters send me there.
But it's sort of weird.
You know, Rahim,
let me tell you something.
I think you're the only one I can trust right now.
The only one.
Goodnight, Rahim.
Lucia?
Where is Aisha?
She's almost here.
I assure you she takes this opportunity very seriously.
Lucia,
Diamantino is our prestige case.
Last night Aisha hacked into government servers.
I know.
Aisha had opened Mrs. Pandora's box.
And her boss
thought she'd gone too far.
Aisha?
Aisha.
Ashisha?
What the fuck is this?
Lucia, calm down.
You want me to calm down?
You're in bed with the suspect.
And you hacked into government servers.
What are you doing?
I found the address of a lab and I'm investigating.
I hope you're having lots of fun with this case.
- Lucia. - Fuck you, Aisha.
Aisha?
Did the nun just say "fuck you"?
How rude.
He's a she?
He's a she.
The cunt...
It was the last day of the shoot.
I was looking at myself in the mirror
and noticed these strange lumps
on my chest.
Oh, dear Lord.
Is Diamantino ready?
This is when you say,
"We will make Portugal great again."
Then you head towards the ball,
you shoot,
you score and celebrate as if you were at the European or World Cup.
You take your t-shirt off and say,
"We all deserve a second chance.
"I deserve a second chance.
"Portugal needs a second chance."
Let's shoot.
Mr. Guerra,
just one...
I just have a little problem...
I have little lumps.
I would rather not show them and...
Let's shoot. Get ready.
Sound,
camera...
Action.
Together we can make Portugal great again.
Take your shirt off, Diamantino.
We all deserve a second chance.
I deserve... a second chance.
And Portugal
deserves a second chance.
Cut.
Vote yes to the wall.
The minister was stunned to see my little lumps,
but I guess it wasn't a big deal
because she broadcast the ad the following day.
I'm Diamantino, the best soccer player in the world.
Portugal has been through a difficult period
since the 2008 economic crisis.
Since then, Troika and the EU
have forced Portugal to pay up.
30 million euros a week.
In exchange for what?
Open borders,
lack of sovereignty...
Portugal is at a breaking point.
But it wasn't always this way.
Portugal was once great,
when our valiant leaders wiped out the infidels in the crusades.
It was all ours.
It was fantastic.
All thanks to the solid walls of our great empire.
But now, our great nation faces a new crusade.
We are being invaded and looted.
Together, we can make Portugal great again.
Build a tougher wall.
We all deserve a second chance.
I deserve a second chance.
Portugal deserves a second chance.
Vote yes
to leave the EU.
Vote yes to the wall.
My goodness.
What a wild commercial.
But, Aisha and I had more pressing issues at hand.
Me: my little lumps.
And Aisha: her investigation.
Close your eyes.
Dr. Lamborghini,
the clownfish genes are increasingly problematic.
They may cause other issues in Diamantino's body.
The growth of his breasts may accelerate
and the hormones may be fatal.
Relax
and free your spirit, Diamantino.
Let your subconscious guide you.
Let your thoughts flow.
Allow your visions to appear, like on the field,
even if they seem odd.
Diamantino...
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking about, Diamantino?
My son.
- Done. - Wait.
- She's a dyke. - Look at this shit.
Fucking bitch.
What a cunt.
Disgusting.
The investigation is over, Aisha.
I'm taking you off the case.
We can't stop now. The Minister is involved.
This is out of our jurisdiction.
Yes, but...
we can't let Diamantino die.
The Secret Service is not responsible for rich soccer players.
No.
Goodbye, Aisha.
Please wait.
Hello, sweetie.
Do you want to play?
Play catch.
Don't you want to play with your aunties?
You wanted the dough, right?
You looking fort his?
Is it Rahim or Aisha?
You thought you could fool us?
Is this what you like?
Poor little refugee.
Want to kiss Daddy?
Give Daddy a kiss.
Fucking dyke.
Natasha?
Turn the music off.
- Tell us everything. - Go on.
I sensed something was wrong.
We're family. You can trust us.
What's going on?
It must be something.
- I don't know. - Go on...
I want to stop seeing Dr. Lamborghini.
No need to hit me.
Natasha, calm down.
She hurts the little fish.
Hey, you.
She hurts them. I don't like it there.
And I got these lumps growing.
Who do you take us for?
I'll give you the lumps.
- So you're growing some lumps? - Yes.
I wish something grew in your head.
That would be great.
What shall we do?
We bleed the pig.
When I saw my son hurt like that,
I almost broke down.
Really.
I wanted to disappear.
You never told me about your past.
Ever.
I'm from Cape Verde.
Cape Verde? You said Mozambique before.
I can sing you a Cape Verdean song.
I think you'll like it.
You sing?
No, you don't.
You can't sing.
I've never seen you sing.
Never.
Go on, sing. I want to hear it.
This one's too sad, I'll change it.
It's nice.
I like it. It's nice.
Mittens likes it too.
Mittens likes the music.
Dance with Mittens, not with me.
I don't know how to dance this.
My poor heart
was a whirlwind of emotions.
The happiest moment of my life
followed by the most disturbing.
Never.
Never had I ever felt such love. True love.
Romantic.
Passionate love.
But the very moment I found love,
I discovered heartbreak.
Don't trust Rahim. Her name is Aisha.
She and the nun are stealing from us.
A violent feeling overcame me...
of disappointment.
As if a knife pierced my heart.
Love,
disappointment...
and then betrayal.
Betrayal.
Waves of new feelings for me.
Where are we going?
I'm so confused.
Calm down.
I don't know what to do.
Diamantino.
Give me a minute.
Player 10:
Connected.
Player 11:
Connected.
Dr. Lamborghini, all players are connected to Diamantino.
We can initiate the gene transfer to the "Golden team".
I must warn you: Diamantino won't survive the transfer.
His body is saturated with hormones.
He won't make it.
I don't give a damn. Do your job and shut up.
Minister, I told you before
Diamantino's brain is totally empty.
Dr. Lamborghini,
if you don't clone Diamantino's genius,
Portugal will be forever forgotten.
So, do your job.
Alert: intruder.
Dr. Lamborghini, a Lamborghini just parked at the entrance.
Aisha.
Hey, sweetie...
Genius transfer failed.
At that moment,
I was almost gone.
But then I felt her tender stroke.
True love's caress.
And then,
I was resuscitated.
I felt her warmth.
Her honest touch.
My dad used to say,
"Love has reasons
"that even reason cannot understand."
It was only then
that I understood what he meant.
And voila.
I returned to this familiar world.
Only this time,
I wasn't meant to stay.
I was here to say goodbye to the fluffy puppies.
So, how do I feel?
I'm not sure...
Right now...
I don't know.
We're happy, that's all.
Aisha and I.
We're together, happy.
Subtitling TITRAFILM