1 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:33,480 NETFLIX PRESENTS 2 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,280 This is me, 3 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,360 and this is Ana, my girl. 4 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:12,440 We've been together for 8 years and I just asked her to marry me. 5 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,000 But apparently she has other ideas in mind. 6 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,640 I'm sorry, but this relationship is going nowhere. 7 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,440 We're stuck in a rut and marriage would only make it worse. 8 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,560 And now, I think she's going to dump me... 9 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,560 I don't know. We should just... 10 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,320 take a break. 11 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:41,280 So yeah, she dumped me and I'm done listening. 12 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,120 It looks like I am because I look like an idiot, but I'm not. 13 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:47,560 I guess I should listen to know why she's dumping me. 14 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,240 Instead, I'm thinking back to our third date. 15 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,560 When I told her it felt like I already knew her 16 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:54,680 because every love song that played reminded me of her. 17 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,160 It's a little cheesy, I know, but I meant it. 18 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:58,920 And Ana kissed me for the first time. 19 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,360 And then a practical thought hits me, like: 20 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,680 "Who's paying for this dinner?" 21 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:08,000 She's just said every cliché about breaking up except one. 22 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:13,080 If you'd like... we could still be friends. 23 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,760 We're taking a break? 24 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,760 A break... 25 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:21,880 How long is that? 26 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:26,440 A week, a few minutes, a lifetime... 27 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,360 8 years is plenty of time for sure. 28 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,680 So you're going to go out there and win her back. 29 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,880 Getting Ana back, just watch! 30 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:43,880 What's this? 31 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,920 What's left from the shop. We're selling it off online. 32 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,240 We didn't realize it was going so bad with Ana. 33 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,600 I mean, it didn't go that bad. 34 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,760 We were together for 8 years and now we're on a break. 35 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,120 What is this "break" business? How long? 36 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,320 Like a week, a year, a month? 37 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,600 Time is a fun thing, Dad, you never know how long it will last. 38 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,360 -Everyone knows that. Here. -I knew that girl wasn't... 39 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,000 Wasn't what? 40 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,280 We were together 8 years and no one here said a thing. 41 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,560 If you hadn't gone to live at her place... 42 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:16,480 That was to save on rent. I've said it a thousand times. 43 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,040 But she gets to stay at her place 44 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,000 and you have to come live here at 35 years of age. 45 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,560 Guys nowadays are idiots. 46 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,200 Relax. This will only be for a couple days. 47 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,120 And besides... let me finish. My life hasn't fallen apart! 48 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,720 My boss called me in, okay? 49 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,760 And I think he's going to promote me. 50 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,000 Not so dumb after all. 51 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,640 This is my office. Here we make a ton of TV commercials. 52 00:03:56,840 --> 00:04:00,160 Honestly, my work is just checking over other people's work. 53 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,280 What I'd really love is to be a sports journalist. 54 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:04,600 But in the meantime... 55 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,240 You're firing me? 56 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,520 But John, John... Juan... 57 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,880 I know what I do is easy, but I'm good at it. 58 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,320 Layoffs. 59 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,920 So fire Luisma. He's a recent hire. 60 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,360 Luisma. Good point. I hadn't thought of him. Thanks. 61 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,560 No, that Luisma thing was a figure of speech. Don't fire him. 62 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,680 Sure, but you reminded me and we're cutting back. 63 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,000 -Right. It's all good, but... -No. 64 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,880 Right... Could you call in Luisma, please? 65 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,560 My girlfriend dumped me and I was sacked all within 48 hours. 66 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,840 There is no one more pathetic than me on this continent right now. 67 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:49,880 -I'm sure not. -You know what Ana said? 68 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,440 "I don't think we were made for each other." Clearly not! 69 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,240 I wear earplugs to avoid hearing that Melendi shit you like! 70 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,400 And sorry, you can't dump your boyfriend at dinner 71 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:03,520 on the day he proposes. He'll never get over it. 72 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,000 You say, "Let me think." 73 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,240 Then you go home and text him the next day 74 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:09,640 just like everyone else does. 75 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,360 What am I supposed to do with myself now? 76 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,880 She did you a favour, dude. What's this same girl for years shit? 77 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,640 Monogamy doesn't exist. 78 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,400 Do you realize the time you've lost? Look. 79 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:20,880 UNIVERSITY ORGY COME GET WILD 80 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,080 Is that even for real? 81 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,360 This and much more! Give me your phone. 82 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:27,440 -Come on, life is moving on without us. -I'm not... 83 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:31,280 Shut up. You need updating, young Marcos. 84 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,480 -What's your profile? -Left side. My nose looks smaller. 85 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,680 Clearly you are no stud. 86 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,680 Check it out, though... if you make an effort... 87 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,360 -What's that? -Friends with benefits. 88 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,240 I don't know... 89 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,000 -We'll start with some sexy emojis... -Sexy what? 90 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,880 -An eggplant, a peach... -So, vegetables. 91 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,400 You're going to make this difficult, aren't you? 92 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,920 Don't download a virus. What is all this? 93 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,880 I added a few sweet hookup apps. 94 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:04,080 Tinder, Raya, Boompi, Happn, Saken... 95 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:07,120 I know Saken. It's that Japanese drink, right? 96 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,120 -Oh God. -I'm going home, man. 97 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,920 Is your mommy waiting for you? 98 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:14,840 I'm not in the mood. I don't want to be... 99 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,160 Young Marcos, your new life starts now. 100 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:18,000 I know. 101 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,320 -Seize the day, man... -Right. I'll check it out. 102 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,080 That's it, check it out. Trust me! 103 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,680 At this very moment I just found out what my profile is: 104 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:34,360 I'm 35, I live with my parents, I am but a shadow to women, 105 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,360 Ana dumped me and now my life sucks. 106 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,320 And I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want. 107 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,040 Diego has good intentions, but they don't help me. 108 00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,360 I have to look for help from reliable resources. 109 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:49,400 HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK UP 110 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,560 Thanks for choosing the greatest self-help channel 111 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:06,520 in all the Hispanic world. 112 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:09,560 Because when you need help, who can you turn to? 113 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,560 Family? Friends? 114 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,480 No... 115 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:16,120 You go to Google, and here we are. 116 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,000 -Listen up. -Okay. 117 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,400 You want to get out of the hole you're stuck in? 118 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:23,920 Want to look in the mirror and not be ashamed of what you see? 119 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,680 And most importantly, 120 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,640 do you want to get over your ex and start with your new life? 121 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:29,720 Exactly. 122 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:30,600 Good. 123 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,760 Here is my first piece of advice. 124 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,120 Stand up and scream. 125 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,240 Free yourself of all that anger and hate... 126 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,160 Actually, I'm more sad than angry. 127 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,440 Go for it... 128 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,120 That's it! 129 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,360 Say it: "Motherfucker! 130 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,320 You are a motherfucker!" 131 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,000 You are a motherfucker! 132 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,680 Motherfucker! 133 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,600 Motherfucker! 134 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,720 Ah... Motherfucker... Uh... Motherfucker... 135 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:00,520 Can't do it. 136 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,560 Motherfucker! 137 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,360 Don't you feel better? 138 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:10,880 Much better. 139 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,320 Of course, all that weight off your shoulders. 140 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,560 Now, I want you to take a pen and paper 141 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,840 and write down 142 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,560 what it is that you want with all your might. 143 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,720 Don't be a moron and put down "get back together with my ex". 144 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,040 What the hell. 145 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,760 So, in order to get what you really want, 146 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:37,760 the first thing you have to do is become financially independent. 147 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,320 To have money and not depend on your parents. 148 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,160 Of course, yeah, that's fine... 149 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,600 You are 35 years old, have some balls. 150 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:46,640 What are you doing still living with your parents? 151 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:49,600 Stop leeching off your parents and get out of there, you idiot! 152 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,080 It's just how things have been. 153 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,280 You big idiot! Get out of your parents' house, moron! 154 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,680 -Don't insult me... -Get to work! 155 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,280 -Get to work! -Okay, I'll give it a try now. 156 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:01,320 Idiot. 157 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,000 -What's up, dude? Why are you here? -What's up, Diego... 158 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:22,040 Give me a job, I mean, I want a job, I need a job. Give me a job. 159 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:25,360 -What are you talking about? -Give me a job here. Give me a job! 160 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,200 A job? As if I could give anyone a job. 161 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,120 No, young Marcos. Things are really bad now. 162 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,080 You don't understand me. I'm not giving you a choice. 163 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,360 I'm not telling you "Here, let's see if you can give me..." 164 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,280 -No. Give me a job or I'll tell. -You'll tell what? 165 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,240 I'll call your exes and tell how you cheated on them, 166 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,520 I'll call our friends and tell you fucked their girlfriends. 167 00:09:41,680 --> 00:09:43,320 But why are you such an asshole? 168 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,160 It's not just to be an asshole, it's to survive. 169 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,320 I can look to see if there is anything in the Internet department... 170 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,560 -You see? -You son of a bitch, 171 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,480 -you could kill me any other day. -Champ, you are a champ. 172 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:06,920 Hey, stupid! 173 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,520 -I'm the stupid one? -Marcos! 174 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:14,080 -Yes... -It's me, Raquel! 175 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,760 Oh... Which one? 176 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,760 -From 1 B. -You're Raquel from 1 B? 177 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,040 Wow! How's it going? 178 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,680 Well, you caught me right in the middle of a lot of changes. 179 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,040 Lots of work, lots of projects... What are you up to? 180 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,360 I'm going to a funeral. 181 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,520 Oh, well, great... 182 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,520 How long has it been since we last saw each other? 183 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,600 Since high school... or like more than 15 years. 184 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,880 What've you been up to all this time? 185 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,440 Thinking about you. 186 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,560 Of course. 187 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,360 It's a joke, stupid! 188 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,240 I moved to London, remember? 189 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:01,040 -What did you want to play? -Gypsy music. 190 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:04,200 Oh yeah, you played the accordion at the year-end party. 191 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,320 -You were playing barefoot. -Yes! 192 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,200 I remember, you sang great, but you were a freak. 193 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,520 Well of course. 194 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:14,120 You told me you were gonna record a tape for me with that track I liked. 195 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:15,760 The Proclaimers, remember? 196 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,720 I recorded that tape! Didn't I give it to you? 197 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:18,840 No. 198 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:19,920 Why didn't I give it to you? 199 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,360 I don't know. But, if you sing it now, I'll forgive you. 200 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,880 -Sure, right now. -No, seriously. 201 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,640 Let me go home, drop off this box, and I'll come sing. 202 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:30,760 Excuse me. 203 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,840 -Okay, I'll see you later. -Okay. 204 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,200 Diego, what's up? 205 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,560 You'll catch on right away, it's not that hard. 206 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,440 Here we have the girls for handball, 207 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:48,720 here we have the cycling section, and here are our superbloggers. 208 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,680 This will be your spot, okay? 209 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,320 Get settled in. 210 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,360 You'll take care of online summaries for the games 211 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,640 and whatever else we'll be needing, okay? 212 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,520 One thing. 213 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:04,520 If you need help, don't ask me, I have a lot of work to do. 214 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,880 You're a real sports journalist. For a real newspaper! 215 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,120 This has been your dream since you were a little boy! 216 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:16,440 And even if I'm only commenting on ping-pong games, 217 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,080 I have always loved the less-popular sports. 218 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,560 Knowing about soccer is easy, but to know Bulgarian canoeing... 219 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,320 There's where the work is. 220 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:26,680 I'm about to take off. 221 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:33,360 The first litmus test for getting over Ana. My friend. 222 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:35,640 Beers. 223 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,040 My hook-up shirt. 224 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:39,680 And most importantly, 225 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:42,600 girls that Diego has connected with over Tinder. 226 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:47,000 We've made a bet. The winner chooses the target... 227 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,240 I'm freaked out. 228 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:53,360 Okay, young Marcos, here's your audience: the 30-year-olds. 229 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,120 They are all crazy. 230 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,040 And the blowjobs... they do it with... 231 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,040 They do it with what? 232 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,280 I don't know what it is. But they do it with such care and dedication... 233 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,600 -that it makes a difference. -I don't care if they do it or not. 234 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,080 As long as I don't get laughed at today, I'll be happy with that. 235 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,280 Of course, like your ex didn't suck your dick... whatever. 236 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,400 Her neck muscles were weak and messed her up if she did it... 237 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,000 Enough with the jokes. You're justifying her excuses? 238 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,600 Blowjobs are irreplaceable. Everything else is fear... 239 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,560 -Okay, your turn. -My turn. 240 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,040 Now, if I get it in... I'll get it in. 241 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,560 But if I get it in, I choose. 242 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,640 Okay, let's see what happens. 243 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,160 Fuck... 244 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:43,400 Get over there. 245 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,200 You're good at this, I've noticed. 246 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,120 Good move, dude. Helping out. You got this. 247 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,120 Hitting it is complicated. 248 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,720 I would attack it. A little more... 249 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,440 Could you get your hand off me, I can't concentrate. 250 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,880 Of course, your call. 251 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,560 Almost... 252 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,160 I missed. 253 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,480 I'm going home. 254 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,680 Home? No, please, stay and have a beer, won't you? 255 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,640 Actually, no. I have class tomorrow. 256 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,920 It's not even 12. 257 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,480 Teacher won't scold you for missing one class. 258 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:26,760 Excuse me? I am the teacher. I teach at an occupational workshop. 259 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,040 Occupational... workshop. That's interesting. 260 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,880 How the fuck can it be interesting if you don't know what it is? 261 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:38,680 What happened to the code? There used to be a code with girls... 262 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:40,880 your buddy hooks up with one, and you hooked up with the other. 263 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,120 What is this? 264 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:43,480 Hey... 265 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,200 What's up? 266 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,120 You think cuz I'm fat I have to settle for the ugly poorly-dressed one? 267 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,440 In that case if we're being honest with each other, 268 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,920 I don't know, I think the scale evens out. 269 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,560 You Neanderthal! 270 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,640 I'm guessing by your words we aren't going to hook up? 271 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:02,040 No. I'd rather go home and get myself off with my dildo, 272 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,680 you talk way too much. 273 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,680 She's going home with her dildo. 274 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,040 In the past century, I used to hook up, but not too much. 275 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,560 But now, it's like I don't understand any of this... 276 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,080 To hook up with a girl in the XXI century, 277 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,040 I'm going to have to change myself into a man of the XXI century. 278 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,160 I have no other option. 279 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,160 HOW TO BE A MAN IN THE XXI CENTURY 280 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,240 Hello, hello everyone 281 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,520 and welcome to the greatest 282 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,920 self-help channel in all the Hispanic world. 283 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,120 When you need help, who can you turn to? 284 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,080 Family, friends? 285 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:53,840 You. 286 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,120 No, you go to Google, and here we are. 287 00:15:56,600 --> 00:16:00,720 Listen up. Do you want to be a man of the XXI century? 288 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,280 To pick up a girl in the XXI century, 289 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,040 you have to be in harmony with the world you live in. 290 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,200 I'll give you some advice. 291 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,520 First: balance out your body and mind. 292 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:12,760 That is the first step of all. 293 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,600 Do some exercise. 294 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,560 Don't be intimidated by everyone else's toned biceps... 295 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,920 It's only a matter of time before you'll be as strong as them. 296 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,200 Sacrifice and perseverance. 297 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,760 Eating well and your health go hand in hand. 298 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,640 Avoid unhealthy temptations. 299 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,440 Eliminate yogurt, milk and fatty cheeses, 300 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,440 energy drinks, soda and beer, lunch meats... 301 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,120 No, not allowed. 302 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,320 Your outside appearance reflects your self-esteem. 303 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,280 Look through your bathroom. 304 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,760 Make sure you have your eye cream, 305 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,400 face cleanser, tonic, facial peeler... 306 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,000 Anti-wrinkle cream, very important. 307 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,280 Change your look. 308 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,040 Style your hair. 309 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:18,040 Dress like a man of the XXI century. 310 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,360 Update your wardrobe. 311 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:24,640 Don't use plaid shirts, striped t-shirts or sports jerseys... 312 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:44,840 Hey, stupid! 313 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,480 What, you see me and say nothing? 314 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,640 -Don't call me stupid... -You were spying on me. 315 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:54,280 Well, I could either report you or call you stupid, you choose. 316 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,040 Sorry, but this all seems strange. 317 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,200 I haven't seen you for 15 years and now you're everywhere. 318 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,760 -What are you even doing here? -I work here. 319 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,240 What about you? You live around here? 320 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:07,000 Not at all... Well, now I do, since I live with my parents... 321 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:08,480 What a loser. 322 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,320 And you know, my girlfriend dumped me the day I asked her to marry me? 323 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,160 -But you know what? -What? 324 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,440 I'm going to get over my ex right now. 325 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,840 -And how will you do that? -Not the slightest clue. 326 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:23,640 My friend Diego says I should hook up with someone to get over her. 327 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,720 Actually, he tells me I have to hook up a lot. In general. 328 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:29,200 So I'm on my way to buy clothes. 329 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:32,160 Sure, fucking is much better with clothes on. 330 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,280 No, because I have to have a look. A new look. 331 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,360 But why do you have to change your look? 332 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:41,440 I have to, I have a blind date and appearance is everything now. 333 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,040 The last time I bought myself jeans... 334 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,120 Kurt Cobain was still alive I think. 335 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:47,480 Seriously, seriously... 336 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,840 -Hey, I'll be right back! -Okay! 337 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,840 Oh, you're coming with me? 338 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:53,320 My chest feels tight. 339 00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,880 Look, we make such a great couple! 340 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:08,640 I wanna clear something up so we don't feel weird or anything. 341 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:09,440 Okay. 342 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:11,880 Do you remember in school when you sort of told me you liked me? 343 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,600 -You were in love with me, right? -I still am. 344 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,360 15 years later and I can't seem to forget you. 345 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,440 -In school... -I was fat and had lice. 346 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,680 -Of course, and now... -I look good... 347 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:25,720 That's why! 348 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,080 I'm an idiot who believes everything. 349 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,240 Let's go. 350 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,320 -We can be friends. -No, don't tell me that. 351 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,920 -No more than that. -Don't say that or I'll break things. 352 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:38,360 NOELIA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE 353 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,360 The one who really is amazing is the girl at reception. 354 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,040 She's always making jokes. 355 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,920 I laugh so much with her, she is super funny... 356 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:53,080 Hey... 357 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,400 you and I aren't going to hook up, okay? 358 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:56,440 Alright. 359 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,240 SARA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE 360 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,280 CLAUDIA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE 361 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,640 AIDA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE 362 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,920 Be quiet, my roommates are asleep. 363 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,560 Over there, over there, yeah. 364 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:27,360 -I thought you lived alone. -I share a flat with a few friends. 365 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,640 Well, I really feel like making some noise... 366 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:31,760 Okay... 367 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,680 -Home so soon. -Hi! 368 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:40,360 Is she your girlfriend? 369 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,160 Good night, Marcos, sleep well. 370 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,480 Your apartment is a castle of love 371 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:12,360 where some day you'll have to bring the lovely ladies back to. 372 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,840 It doesn't have to look like how you want it, 373 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,000 but how they would like it... 374 00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:21,680 That is how you will reach the main goal of this channel: 375 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:23,440 fuck. 376 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:25,480 Or have sex. 377 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,920 Wow, how hot your parents are! Having sex at their age. 378 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:32,720 Children should never see their parents having sex. 379 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,680 My father was talking to me with a mask on his face. 380 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:35,600 Wow! 381 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:37,280 What were they role-playing, Zorro? 382 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,600 And the girl who you were with? How did she take it? 383 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,800 Fantastic, wedding bells are ringing... 384 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,360 You've got an apartment at least, right? 385 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,640 This is awesome. It's wonderful, the light... 386 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,840 It still doesn't get me laid. 387 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,920 -Do you know Hater? -I don't know anything. What's Hater? 388 00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:57,360 It's an app where you share the things you hate. 389 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,360 For example, I hate the loyalty cards from the supermarkets, 390 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,320 they make me nervous. Electric scooters... 391 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,840 -Killer tourists on fucking segways. -Yes! 392 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:07,720 Selfie sticks! 393 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:09,480 -Japanese restaurants. -Shiitake. 394 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,640 Small children who tell you "sir, sir". I'm a boy! 395 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,440 -Sunflowers. -Why sunflowers? 396 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,560 It's a flower that just makes me nervous. 397 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,640 It's very yellow, and very big... Why are you right there? 398 00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:21,840 This app is very good, it's really great. 399 00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,240 -See? -I'm having a good time. 400 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,600 But it's not going to get me laid either. 401 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,080 Of course. Well, no... 402 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,240 Getting laid or not, I do have good music. 403 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,840 She's erased me from her life. 404 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,560 For Ana, I no longer exist. 405 00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:10,440 Young Marcos, I'm going to give you some advice you need to know 406 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,560 because this is key if you want to succeed with the ladies. 407 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,240 Ignore them. 408 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,600 You can't be so desperate, man. You'll scare them. 409 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,760 And most of all, stop thinking about your ex. 410 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,280 Stop talking about your ex. Nobody gives a fuck about your ex. 411 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,440 I'm only thinking about myself now. I promise. 412 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,560 But I get distracted and... She slips right through... 413 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,440 Don't get distracted. Concentrate on yourself. 414 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,760 Dude, you're doing great at work. 415 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,400 In fact, they told me they want you to oversee 416 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:43,680 the Division 2 Twitter account. 417 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,200 -They told you? -Yeah. 418 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:50,440 -What are you looking at? -Nothing, you're just handsome. 419 00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:55,560 You know, it's like you're... very proportioned, right? 420 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,520 Really, young Marcos? You're acting very strange... 421 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,840 What did I say? It's an observation. 422 00:25:14,120 --> 00:25:15,520 VERONICA LIKES YOU, TOO! SEND A MESSAGE 423 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:32,520 I'm at the girl's house... 424 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,880 And according to the instructions of my crazy Argentinian guru, 425 00:25:37,440 --> 00:25:39,160 I have been mentally adding up 426 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:42,040 all the chances I have to end up in bed with her... 427 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,760 and up to now, 8 out of 10. 428 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,720 If I get to the bar and the girl shows cleavage. 2 points... 429 00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,080 If I ask her what her drink is and she says wine, 1 point; 430 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,400 whisky, 3 points; with a coffee, I leave the bar... 431 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:57,600 What would you like to drink? 432 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,280 -A pint of beer. -A pint of beer. 433 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,320 Excuse me! A pint of beer for her and a vermouth for me. 434 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,160 1.5 points. 435 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:06,240 Dinner is very complicated, 436 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,560 you have to avoid having too many topics of conversation 437 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,320 to avoid the friendzone... 438 00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:14,760 because that's no good, that's like minus 100 or 200 points. 439 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,000 Are you hungry? 440 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,520 No, I'm fine with the fries. Another round? 441 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:21,920 Yes, please. Of course. 442 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,720 1.5 points. 443 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,400 And last of all... moment for drinks. 444 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,600 If we get to that point and we don't know each other that well, 445 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,000 and she looks at me, interested and smiles without realizing it... 446 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,760 That's the moment to kiss her... 447 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:38,360 1 kiss, 1 point. 448 00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,400 A kiss with something else, 4 points... 449 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,320 If she touches my package... a million points. 450 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:46,360 I got 1 point. 451 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,080 Plus two more points. 452 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,200 Of course, because she was the one who told me: 453 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:58,040 "want to come over to my house?" 454 00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:02,840 Tonight is a sure thing. 455 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,360 You know, many people have told me 456 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,640 "careful hooking up over the Internet, you'll end up with a surprise..." 457 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:14,880 And instead, here we are, you and me, two people with things clearly laid out. 458 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,120 Here, without shocks, with the truth in front of us. 459 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,600 I've been using the wrong app. 460 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:30,600 Don't be depressed... 461 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:33,680 At least you've been able to forget about... 462 00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,080 -Ana... -Ana, that's it! 463 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,600 Because you've forgotten about her already, right? 464 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,880 It's a weird phenomenon, because I think more about the things 465 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,120 that drove me nuts about her than what I liked. 466 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,360 However, I still remember her when I wake up, 467 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,000 when I go to sleep, when I cook asparagus... 468 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,640 -Do we really need to see this guy? -Of course, you're gonna like him. 469 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,080 He isn't Argentinian? 470 00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:52,120 No. 471 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,480 To hear him complain, "yes, my life...", I've got myself for that. 472 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,600 Not at all, he isn't one of those singer-songwriters. 473 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,440 You'll like him. He's handsome and plays very well. 474 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:01,880 You want to fuck him. 475 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:06,000 I don't want to fuck him... I already did. Now we're just friends. 476 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:07,040 No. 477 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,280 -What? -That can't happen. 478 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,240 What do you mean, that men and women can't be friends? 479 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,080 If they've already had sex, no. 480 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:17,880 Of course, we haven't had sex and that's why we're friends. 481 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,120 -But this is the end of it... -Why? 482 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,920 You know how many times I've jerked off thinking about you? 483 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,640 -Well, half-sex. -The sunset of our relationship. 484 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:28,840 What a shame. 485 00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:30,560 Look. 486 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,840 Thank you, thank you. It's great that you all came. 487 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:38,280 Well, he was Argentinian. 488 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,480 I'm Ezequiel. I'm a musician. 489 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,880 My mom always tells this story... 490 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,200 When I was young, I was like 4 years old and sitting on the toilet 491 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,280 and said to her "mom, mom" and she said "what, what". 492 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,560 I want to express myself through music. 493 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,800 I want applause, and to share what I have inside of me. 494 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,280 And that's why when I act, I carry this cage with me 495 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:03,040 because it represents everything we have to share from within us. 496 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,200 And there was one day I went to go see a palm-reader 497 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,840 who looked at the palm of my hand and tells me... 498 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,920 Your life line is very broken. 499 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:15,480 And I said, "but what does that mean?" "Tell me, tell me." 500 00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:16,720 And he said... 501 00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:19,160 Life is painful 502 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,640 Life hurts 503 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,480 That is all I can say 504 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:30,200 That is all I can say... 505 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,760 -Hi! -How's it going? 506 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,440 I loved it. 507 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,360 That's good! 508 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:25,280 How's it going? 509 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,520 -Did you like it? -Very much. A lot. 510 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,560 Great, I'm glad to hear it. 511 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,000 You look beautiful. You look great, stunning. 512 00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,720 -You want a beer? -No, I don't drink alcohol. 513 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,480 Alcohol makes you swell up and leaves you walking like a ball 514 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,560 and we can't walk through life like that. 515 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:42,480 Obviously. 516 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:45,280 Men today have to take care of themselves just like women do. 517 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:46,840 -Totally, you know what I mean? -Totally... 518 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,160 Every day I run 25 km., I wax my chest, 519 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,280 I put cucumber masks over my face, and I feel fantastic... 520 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,200 -Waiter! -May I take this away? 521 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:56,200 Yes, please. 522 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:57,560 -You going to drink anything else? -Yes... 523 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,560 I would like sparkling water with lime and no ice. 524 00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:04,040 -Another beer for me. -I'm fine, nothing else. 525 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:07,720 This guy is an idiot... 526 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,720 You're beautiful... 527 00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,680 But he's handsome. A prototype of the XXI century man. 528 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,920 Look at that, he doesn't have an ounce of fat on him... 529 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,240 And Raquel laughs at all his jokes... 530 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,200 If I were like him, 531 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,320 I could say the same bullshit without the ladies thinking: 532 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,200 What is this Neanderthal talking about? 533 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,040 I'm heading out. 534 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:33,440 You're going? 535 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,480 I just remembered tomorrow I have an asphalt drag sled race. 536 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,680 Some Filipino guy is going to blow it out of the water... 537 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,520 But you stay... Stay for a while, won't you? 538 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:42,680 -Yeah, stay, stay... -Stay. 539 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,400 -Really? -Yes, of course, yes. 540 00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,920 -Of course. Dude, a pleasure. -Thanks. See you later. 541 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,440 -See you tomorrow! -Okay! 542 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:57,160 I'm on the right path, I feel it, but... 543 00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,400 it's not enough. 544 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:44,080 Carlos. 545 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,360 -Marcos. -Yes, Marcos. 546 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,080 Listen... 547 00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:49,880 I know we haven't been able to talk since you started here, 548 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,360 but next week, I'm throwing an incredible party 549 00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,280 for everyone in the basketball section. 550 00:32:55,600 --> 00:32:56,640 You should come. 551 00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:58,120 Okay. 552 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:01,320 Marcos. 553 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,200 I'm doing something... 554 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,800 that I never thought I'd have the courage to do... 555 00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:30,360 The only thing is that it's for life. Besides, they're really trendy now. 556 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,040 -What's the smallest one you have? -Do you trust me? 557 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,440 I feel like Jasmine in Aladdin. Yes. 558 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:41,600 You shouldn't, because I could get my revenge on you. 559 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,160 Why are you taking revenge on me? 560 00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,840 Why did you leave me the other night with that idiot? 561 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:49,040 Because he's an idiot, but he's your friend, you tolerate him. 562 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,200 Besides, you were the one who wanted to stay. 563 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,520 But I didn't want to stay really and since you left me... 564 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,360 I had to sleep with him. 565 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,760 Poor Raquel, you can't stop sleeping around... 566 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,880 I promise you that listening to him was worse. 567 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,120 So what do I do? 568 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,120 Take this off and sit here. I'm going to do it free-hand. 569 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,320 "Free-hand"? 570 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:07,240 That sounds dirty. 571 00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,360 -I feel like I'm at the dentist now. -It's going to hurt more. 572 00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,280 So, to make it up, 573 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,440 this Friday I'm taking you to another concert 574 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,600 -and this one I promise you'll like. -I can't this Friday. 575 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,160 -Why not? -My boss, she invited me to a party... 576 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,280 You're going to a party and you weren't going to invite me? 577 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,120 It's not that I didn't want to invite you, but if you come, 578 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,680 I can't focus on the target, which is to hook up... 579 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:35,000 So you're completely sure that this Friday is your night. 580 00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:38,120 -Me hooking up is never for sure. -Who are you going with? 581 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:45,200 -Hey... -What's up? 582 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,160 He's my friend, but he's too good-looking. I can't take him. 583 00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,280 I need someone who makes me seem more than what I really am... 584 00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:55,360 Tomy! 585 00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:00,600 What did I do? 586 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:08,400 Thanks, Marcos! 587 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,840 I'm super excited... 588 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,320 Check out this big screen, look. 589 00:35:21,720 --> 00:35:22,600 Marcos? 590 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,200 When you go to a party, according to my influencer, 591 00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:29,600 if you want to leave the party with her, 592 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:31,880 you have to avoid three big threats. 593 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,840 Don't even think about going to the kitchen to find a beer 594 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,160 and stand around talking about football with a group of guys. 595 00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:40,360 Never. 596 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:43,680 I'm the intern. I help Marcos and... 597 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,360 Watch how much you drink. 598 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,360 I really need to pee... Just a sec, okay? 599 00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:57,360 And most of all, don't be near the ice when it runs out 600 00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,520 and the most beautiful girl at the party wants a drink. 601 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,120 Give me a minute, okay? I'll go find some ice. 602 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:04,680 Never. 603 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,680 Guys! The ice! 604 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,040 If you can avoid those three threats, 605 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,720 then you can focus on what's really important. 606 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:16,000 Looking for a girl. 607 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,200 You looking for a track or are you looking 608 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:23,600 at what kind of music I like? 609 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:27,400 Yes, exactly. It's just that this chill out music seems a bit slow... 610 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,920 But I see here that you have a really good playlist. 611 00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:33,600 Massive Attack, Radiohead... Daft Punk from the beginning... 612 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,200 I have very good music. 613 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:37,560 Marcos? 614 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,400 I'll see you later. 615 00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:41,840 Ana? 616 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,320 What the hell is she doing here? 617 00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:46,880 Don't be nervous... Come on... You can do it... 618 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:50,120 God, my heart is going to explode... I'll have a heart attack here... 619 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:51,400 What are you doing here? 620 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,840 I came with a friend... 621 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,560 What have you done? I almost don't recognize you... 622 00:36:57,720 --> 00:36:59,400 Ignore her, just ignore her. 623 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:01,720 You are the same, as always. 624 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,640 I see these last few months have been good for you. 625 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,600 And you no longer dress like a teenager. 626 00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:09,360 No, I am a new man. 627 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:12,080 I've changed. On the inside, too. I'm chang... 628 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,040 What is she doing with her hand? I'm going to faint! 629 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,120 Get your hand off... Get it off! 630 00:37:16,720 --> 00:37:20,080 She wants to hook up with me! Just ignore her! 631 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:25,160 And who is that very beautiful woman you were talking to? 632 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:28,280 Is she jealous, because...? Ignore her, damn it, ignore her. 633 00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,440 A friend. A friend from... 634 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:33,920 How do I ignore her now? 635 00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:37,680 Of course, as I was telling you... 636 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:40,520 So you want to keep talking or you want to go fuck? 637 00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:43,520 This wasn't planned for in my method. 638 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:48,400 This is a song I wrote in London 639 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,360 which I dedicated to love. 640 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:22,120 My love, dear, kiss me again... 641 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:27,320 My love, dear, kiss me again... slowly 642 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:31,120 My love, dear, kiss me again... 643 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:37,400 My love, dear, kiss me again... slowly 644 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,080 Great! 645 00:39:17,240 --> 00:39:19,680 If you got this far following in my steps, 646 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:22,160 that means your past is now behind you 647 00:39:22,320 --> 00:39:24,360 and you're a XXI century man. 648 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:28,000 And also, you got laid. There you go! 649 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,440 You take care of the caps and I'll get the machines? 650 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:32,440 Sure... 651 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:34,440 Good morning, I got laid! 652 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:36,680 -Hi, Maria. -Hey! 653 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:38,560 It didn't seem like it, it was all going to... 654 00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:40,840 But I did, I got laid. I got laid, and besides that, well. 655 00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:44,120 With this, that, and everything else... The whole thing. 656 00:39:44,280 --> 00:39:47,320 And you came here at 9 AM just to tell me that? 657 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,560 Yes. No. She kicked me out of her house. 658 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:53,200 -But I did want to come tell you. -And how was...? 659 00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,680 Getting laid? Man, I remembered... 660 00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:56,880 The girl, stupid. 661 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,080 Just a regular girl. 662 00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:04,640 The point is I accomplished what I set out to do: 663 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,040 to fuck. Well, twice. 664 00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:08,840 And get over your ex, right? 665 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,360 -Great. -Really great... 666 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:13,840 And the new girl, what? 667 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,840 Have you already proposed or you'll wait 8 years again? 668 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:20,520 What? Of course not. This was just a hook up, nothing else... 669 00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,480 I'm not going to get back together with her... 670 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,400 I'm not going to do it again with her, that's what I mean. 671 00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:29,080 Because I won't. Not at all. I have to go. 672 00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:30,520 -Bye, Maria. -Bye... 673 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,360 Where do you know that guy from? 674 00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:38,320 From school. I was hung up on him when I was 15. 675 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,880 -He's not your type at all. -I know... 676 00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,840 Yes, I'm calling Ana. 677 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,520 But it doesn't mean I want to get back together with her, alright? 678 00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:05,520 I'm just calling her to see how she is... 679 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:06,720 -That's all. -Hi, it's Ana. 680 00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:08,920 It's simply the polite thing to do. 681 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,880 When you hook up with a girl, you have to call her. 682 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,560 Why? Because... you know. 683 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:19,200 It's just standard procedure when you hook up with your ex. 684 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,680 Ana? Hey, what's up? 685 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,760 I was thinking that... We could grab something to eat? 686 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:31,920 No? Okay then. It's no big deal. 687 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:33,560 I didn't mean today though... 688 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:37,120 If you can today... Hold on, let me think if I can. Yeah, today I can. 689 00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:39,560 I don't think I understand if you're saying 690 00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:41,880 that today you can't but you can another day 691 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,200 or if today you could but really you don't want to. 692 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:46,600 You don't want to. 693 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,440 Okay. That's fine. 694 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,360 Talk to you later. Yeah. Sure. 695 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:52,920 Yeah, yeah. Bye. 696 00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:59,000 She must be really busy with her things... 697 00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:02,600 Have you thought about shaving your dick? 698 00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,360 Not recently, no, because, you shouldn't... 699 00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:09,440 What do you mean exactly? 700 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:13,200 It's just that with all that stuff on, I can't really read your face. 701 00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:17,080 I mean your bush. Your afro down below. 702 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,440 That grove of tendrils. 703 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,880 I mean if you wax your fucking balls. 704 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:24,760 Oh, that... 705 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:27,040 No, no I don't. 706 00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:31,280 The ladies love it. I just got a Croatian bikini line wax. 707 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:34,320 It's all the rage. Want to see? 708 00:42:49,280 --> 00:42:51,200 Marcos, explain this to me: 709 00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:56,240 "Sporting may be a Division 2 team, but the players' legs are Number 1." 710 00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:58,560 Wait, there's more. 711 00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:02,640 "The best part about the Elche win was seeing the striker's magnificent abs 712 00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:04,560 when he pulled off his shirt while celebrating the goal." 713 00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:07,320 Why the fuck would you be talking about anybody's abs? 714 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,440 Do you want to get fired? Are we insane? 715 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,200 -You. -Lorena, wait... 716 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:14,200 You're the one behind the Twitter comments from Second? 717 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,360 It's him, but this kid is just going through a rough time... 718 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:18,360 I don't care. 719 00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:22,720 I could care less if it were a mistake, or if soccer players make you horny. 720 00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:25,200 What we have here is a trending topic. 721 00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,160 -What? -Yes, dear, yes. 722 00:43:27,320 --> 00:43:29,680 So as of tomorrow you'll change positions 723 00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:32,240 and you start to cover the games from First. 724 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:36,240 And of course, you'll have a 10% raise. 725 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,640 If that's not good enough, too bad. 726 00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,280 What do I know, what do I know... 727 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,360 You never know anything. 728 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:50,200 Go fuck yourself. 729 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,520 Have you ever sang in the street? 730 00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:14,560 A thousand times! 731 00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:17,520 It's the best way to get used to people ignoring you. 732 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,640 They don't ignore you. They mock you, insult you, throw chewed up food... 733 00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:24,080 But then, when you get up on the stage... 734 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,600 They applaud you! It's... amazing. 735 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,320 I just don't get how you stand up in front of people singing, 736 00:44:31,480 --> 00:44:34,520 and actually enjoy it. I would freak out. With you. 737 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,120 -Is that for me? -No... 738 00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,480 Because I don't know if it would get along with my dragons. 739 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,360 Yeah... Let's go. 740 00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:50,720 It's for that girl! 741 00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,120 But didn't you tell me it was just a hook up? 742 00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:59,240 Yeah, but tomorrow is her birthday and I should get her something. 743 00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,400 How do you know that her birthday is tomorrow? 744 00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:03,680 Because she told me. 745 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,320 But you told me you hardly had any time to talk, 746 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,400 that she practically jumped on you. 747 00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,400 -Yeah, but... -How did she tell you? 748 00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,120 While you were doing it? 749 00:45:14,560 --> 00:45:15,440 What? 750 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,000 -What's wrong with you? -Oh yes! 751 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,120 You're amazing, young Marcos! 752 00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:28,200 By the way, did I tell you that my birthday is November 15th? 753 00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:31,720 -I'm a Sagittarius! -Scorpio. 754 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,320 With a Taurus... 755 00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:38,040 ascendant! 756 00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:41,280 Something like that? 757 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:44,440 -A bit more calm, but pretty close. -Great. 758 00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:48,920 Excuse me, could you do that again but at the end say Libra? Please. 759 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:53,160 -We need to be at the zoo by 4. -Please, I'll pay you 20 euros! 30! 760 00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:57,040 You just made me lose 30 euros. 761 00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:58,400 Run, run, he's coming. 762 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:15,120 Hi, it's Ana. Leave a message and I'll call you back. Thanks. 763 00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:30,200 Diego, watch the plant, man. It'll get smashed. 764 00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:38,000 What's up? Come on. 765 00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:43,000 I've just been thinking about something for a few days. 766 00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:45,280 You're with someone. 767 00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:49,840 What? But... How could I be with anyone, with someone? 768 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:51,120 Let's see, man. 769 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,000 For a month now you haven't been a pain in the ass about your ex 770 00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,560 and that can only mean that you've gotten over your ex, 771 00:46:56,720 --> 00:46:58,920 and if you've gotten over her, it's because you're with someone. 772 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,360 -Crystal clear. -No, no... It's not like that... 773 00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:08,360 I knew it. My little rascal. Do I know her? 774 00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,360 You don't know her. Why would you know her? 775 00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:14,040 Okay, fine. Welcome to the world of the living. 776 00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:15,120 How was the blowjob? 777 00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:19,360 Diego, look, I have a ton of things to put away. 778 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:21,120 It's fine, I'll leave you in peace. 779 00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:24,000 The important thing here is that you've finally told your ex 780 00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:25,360 to go fuck herself. 781 00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,200 Everything else is meaningless, I told you so. Champ. 782 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:29,160 Champ. 783 00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:34,680 Did you buy me the creams I asked for? 784 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:36,280 Yes. 785 00:47:37,240 --> 00:47:38,680 And I brought you something else. 786 00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:41,520 Korean face masks. 787 00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,400 Have you seen the skin Koreans have? 788 00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:45,880 I've seen it while I watch ping pong tournaments. It's so matte. 789 00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,680 Look at mine. Nice, right? 790 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:50,880 -Yeah... -Take this. Here's one for you. 791 00:47:56,120 --> 00:47:58,680 Did you end up buying that for the girl? 792 00:47:58,880 --> 00:48:00,840 We haven't seen each other much lately. 793 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:02,280 So, she doesn't pay any attention to you? 794 00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,360 I'm not going to beat myself up over it.. 795 00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,440 She doesn't want to meet up? We don't. That's it, her loss. 796 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,360 We're all adults now. 797 00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:14,120 What? 798 00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,400 Nothing, it's just that I don't get why she slept with me. 799 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,000 And she was grinding on me. 800 00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:22,120 If you grind, it means you want to fuck again. Why isn't she calling? 801 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:24,400 Can you pass me that dragon? 802 00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:28,520 Last time she told me: "I'll call you". 803 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:30,520 What does that mean? 804 00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:32,680 The last time? How many times have you called her? 805 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:36,400 Once... five, ten, fifteen times. Last week. 806 00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:39,560 Would you pass me the dragon or should I just get it? 807 00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,040 I'll pick it up for you doing a squat. 808 00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:43,280 A what? 809 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:46,760 It's something you would know if you did CrossFit. 810 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:47,760 Look. 811 00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,600 Grab it like this and put your legs back. 812 00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:53,520 Fuck... 813 00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:01,600 -I'll get your discharge papers ready. -Okay. 814 00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:14,080 -What did they tell you? -I have a herniated disc... 815 00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:15,440 A what? 816 00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:20,080 A herniated disc from prolonged strain with no criteria. 817 00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,760 I don't know why you do so much weight lifting... 818 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:30,760 No, I know. It's for that mystery girl of yours that doesn't even notice you. 819 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,400 She's not my girl, she isn't a mystery and I don't do it for her. 820 00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,440 -What are you doing in a wheelchair? -They gave it to me to take you home. 821 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:39,000 But I can stand up and walk. 822 00:49:39,560 --> 00:49:42,360 -But this wheelchair is way cooler. -Can you give me that chair back? 823 00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,640 I already told you not to take it, it belongs to a patient. 824 00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,040 I was going to give it back next week... 825 00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:55,840 Hi. 826 00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:56,840 Today? 827 00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:03,160 You caught me in the middle of work, I'll let you know later, ok? 828 00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:04,880 Yeah, bye. 829 00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:08,360 Was it her? 830 00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:12,360 Are you going to meet her? 831 00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:14,120 How am I supposed to meet her? Just look at me... 832 00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:16,920 You're going to meet her and I'll be the one going to her house, 833 00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:19,520 getting you out of bed, naked, and bringing you back to the ER. 834 00:50:19,720 --> 00:50:21,720 I'm not going to meet her! I don't care what she says. 835 00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:23,400 -You're going to meet her. -No, I won't. 836 00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,280 -You're going to meet... -If I say no, I mean no. 837 00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:29,600 Hold on to me tighter. 838 00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:32,200 Come on, tight like that. 839 00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:36,440 -Just a little time out? -Are you okay? 840 00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:39,520 -I'm great, I'm very good. -Get on top. 841 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:44,760 -On top? Fine. On the side? -No, on top. 842 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:45,800 Okay. 843 00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:55,800 -I'm coming. -Come on. 844 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,120 -Come on, harder! -I'm getting there... 845 00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:10,480 Come on! 846 00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,160 What? You already finished? 847 00:51:14,760 --> 00:51:16,080 Perhaps. 848 00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:20,040 -Don't leave me like this. -I won't leave you like that. No... 849 00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,440 You'll see what I'm about to do. 850 00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,360 -Hello. -Hello. 851 00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:48,400 -You went, didn't you? -Indeed I did. 852 00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:50,760 And? 853 00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:54,520 I really hurt myself. 854 00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:00,080 She could have killed me. 855 00:52:00,240 --> 00:52:01,440 I've brought you a gift. 856 00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:07,600 I don't even know why I ask but, you didn't buy this food, did you? 857 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,160 No, it's from a VIP room 858 00:52:09,320 --> 00:52:12,480 but I promise no nurses saw me this time. 859 00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,040 That's reassuring. 860 00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:17,920 I can take it back, but it was from an old man who didn't even have teeth. 861 00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,920 No, without any teeth, there's no point. What's the shoe for? 862 00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:22,040 To open the bottle. 863 00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,680 -Does it open like that? -Theoretically. 864 00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:33,000 It worked! 865 00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,040 Are you plucking your eyebrows? 866 00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:16,760 I'm making sure that they don't grow into a unibrow. 867 00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:25,600 Look, Marcos, I've been thinking about something. 868 00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:28,640 What have you thought? 869 00:53:30,400 --> 00:53:32,880 I think you need a guys' night out. 870 00:53:33,080 --> 00:53:36,320 I mean, nights like we used to have. Beers, guys, and soccer. 871 00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,600 Yeah, it's been so long since we've done that. 872 00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:42,200 Exactly. That's settled. Problem solved. 873 00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,720 -Tonight we'll hang out at my house. -Okay. 874 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:47,160 See you later, big guy. 875 00:53:51,720 --> 00:53:52,680 Okay. 876 00:53:54,720 --> 00:53:55,880 Guys, get over here, 877 00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:57,920 -the second half is about to start. -Coming. 878 00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:01,120 Before, for example, you'd invite them for a drink, and that was it, 879 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,320 now they ask you out, and you don't have the moral strength 880 00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:04,440 to get them into bed with you. 881 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:07,040 -If you open the door for them... -You're a chauvinist. 882 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:08,440 And if not, you're rude. 883 00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,120 You don't know how to connect with them. 884 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:12,120 We no longer have a model of masculinity to follow. 885 00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:16,760 Then you gotta smell good, be funny, dress well, know how to cook... 886 00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:20,200 I've already taken three cooking classes just to keep up. 887 00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:21,040 Seriously? 888 00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:24,040 Asian cooking, Japanese, and now I'm taking one on desserts. 889 00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,480 I love that one but I'm getting a little... 890 00:54:26,720 --> 00:54:29,440 And you keep having this feeling like you're still not there yet? 891 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,720 Wait until we take the Thermomix class... 892 00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,160 Diego, could you turn down the volume a bit? 893 00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,240 Come on, that's enough! Go fuck yourselves. 894 00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,400 Come on, go home. 895 00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,080 -What's wrong? -Go chit chat elsewhere. 896 00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:43,520 -I'm sick of this. -What's going on? 897 00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,560 Come on, time to leave. That's enough. There's the door. 898 00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:48,600 Go fuck yourself. 899 00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:50,520 No, you stay. 900 00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:53,120 Bye. See you later. 901 00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:55,920 -What's going on? -What the hell is up with you? 902 00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:58,440 Nothing's wrong with me. Why are you so pissed off? 903 00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:00,360 I'm pissed off because I don't recognize you, Marcos. 904 00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,120 I look at you and I don't know who you are. 905 00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,760 Don't tell me this has to do with those articles? 906 00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:07,320 Because of the articles, because you're sharing recipes, 907 00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:10,240 because you're plucking your eyebrows, where is all this going! 908 00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,880 You're not even watching the game, which was the whole point. 909 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:15,720 -I'm watching the game. -Really? How's it going? 910 00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,880 -It's going well. -You've turned into a woman. 911 00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:32,160 Why is it that when men insult each other they compare you to us? 912 00:55:32,320 --> 00:55:34,360 -It's terrible. -No idea, I don't do that. 913 00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,120 It's true that I'm doing things that before I thought were nonsense, 914 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:40,760 just to try it, but plucking or whatever, cooking, exercising, 915 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:42,320 aren't strictly things a man or woman does. 916 00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:45,160 Just listen to yourself and you know for sure you are a man 917 00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,120 -in every sense of the word. -What does that mean? 918 00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:50,800 For starters, you're a whiner. 919 00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:54,320 -I'm a whiner? -You are. All of you. 920 00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,160 But you at least laugh at yourself, and that's a good thing. 921 00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:59,080 I have plenty of reasons to, that's for sure. 922 00:55:59,240 --> 00:56:01,240 -This is why you wanted to see me? -No. 923 00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:03,400 I brought you here because since we've become friends 924 00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:05,240 I've been remembering a lot of things from our time at school. 925 00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:07,760 I used to sit here, with my black hoodie, 926 00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:10,040 -with my discman... -The discman! 927 00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:14,080 I'd listen to a lot of depressing songs and be the bad guy here. 928 00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:18,040 I'd wallow in how bad life treated me until the sun would go down. 929 00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:21,360 Isn't this place beautiful? 930 00:56:53,240 --> 00:56:55,560 The first time I had sex with my first girlfriend 931 00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:58,040 she cracked up when she came. 932 00:57:00,240 --> 00:57:03,000 I had never done this and so I thought: 933 00:57:03,160 --> 00:57:04,680 "I guess this is normal..." 934 00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:07,480 And so I started to laugh as well, like an idiot. 935 00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:10,320 -To go along with it! -To not ruin the mood. 936 00:57:10,760 --> 00:57:13,120 She started laughing all the time and I got used to it. 937 00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:14,920 The problem was when she dumped me 938 00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:17,000 and I started hooking up with other girls who didn't laugh 939 00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:21,360 I always thought that it was me who was bad at sex. 940 00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:23,200 And how many girlfriends have you had? 941 00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:26,000 Girlfriends, three. Three hook ups as well. And you? 942 00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:27,440 Hook ups, a lot. 943 00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,760 Boyfriends, like those you go to the movies with 944 00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:32,240 and go on holidays, not many... 945 00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:36,160 -My first was when I was 16... -What? 16! That's not true. 946 00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,600 At that age, girls wouldn't even let us grope them. 947 00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:39,360 I did. I liked it. 948 00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:43,280 Where would I be... Hooking up with my ex. 949 00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:52,280 I dunno, the thing with long relationships... It's like... 950 00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:54,680 I just don't do well with it. 951 00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,360 -It doesn't work for me, I don't know. -Why not? 952 00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:02,000 I dunno. The longest relationship I've had is with music. 953 00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:05,480 No one has ever made me feel the same way. 954 00:58:05,800 --> 00:58:07,920 I swear, though, I feel it in my vagina. 955 00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,800 It's good to feel it there. 956 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:14,800 What? 957 00:58:15,040 --> 00:58:17,040 -A ball-grabber? -A what? 958 00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:19,920 You remember? Ball-grabber! 959 00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:34,000 I haven't done this in... Who knows. 960 00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:35,080 Me neither. 961 00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:12,400 -The Proclaimers! -No! 962 00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:15,360 -The track I recorded for you! -Awesome! 963 00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:16,640 Come with me! 964 00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:19,000 Come up here! 965 00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:20,280 -I can't! -Come on! 966 00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:21,520 I can't, I can't. 967 00:59:21,680 --> 00:59:25,240 Why? No one knows you here, it doesn't matter! 968 00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,000 -I can't. -Come on! 969 00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:40,600 Come! Don't leave me here alone. 970 00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:44,880 It's greater than me. I can't. I'd die of shame. 971 00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,800 I'd panic. I can't dance. It can't happen. 972 01:00:00,320 --> 01:00:01,360 Marcos! 973 01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:05,880 Why didn't you answer your phone? 974 01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:09,440 -Because I'm really busy... -Hi, I'm Ana. 975 01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:12,080 Ana? 976 01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:15,920 I'm Raquel, a friend. But I was just about to leave. 977 01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:18,360 -No... -It's okay, see you later. 978 01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:21,520 Come on, let's have a drink. 979 01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:36,600 Hold on, hold on. 980 01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:38,920 Don't take off your clothes, please. 981 01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:40,080 What's wrong? 982 01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,520 It's just that... I'm a little tired of this. 983 01:00:45,760 --> 01:00:49,880 Us having sex and being kind of together again, I don't think... 984 01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:52,360 Marcos, you never understand anything... 985 01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:57,360 -You and I aren't together. -I know that, of course. Not at all. 986 01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:00,040 -But if we keep doing this... -I'm getting married. 987 01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:01,800 -You what? -I'm getting married. 988 01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:06,000 I wanted to tell you but I didn't know how... 989 01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:11,640 My boyfriend has been in Berlin for a while but is coming back tomorrow. 990 01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:15,520 Motherfucker! 991 01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:17,400 That's what I should have told her. 992 01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,720 Mother... how do you say "motherfucker" in your language? 993 01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:24,280 "Nijamada..." is what I should have told her. 994 01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:27,400 But instead... instead of that, I go and say... 995 01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:31,440 I'm glad you're fine. 996 01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:34,320 I know, and... 997 01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:39,160 are you going to come to the wedding? 998 01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:45,280 Most likely... 999 01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:46,800 Yes, of course. 1000 01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:48,560 Thank you. 1001 01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:56,400 I'm such an idiot! How do you say "idiot"? 1002 01:01:57,640 --> 01:01:59,680 "Nijuantan", the biggest one of all. 1003 01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:01,400 And you know what? 1004 01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:04,400 It's over. 1005 01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:08,360 I really mean it. It's over, tell her to fuck off! 1006 01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,600 I don't want anything, thanks. 1007 01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:49,680 STUPID 1008 01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,880 -What are we looking for? -Look, this one... 1009 01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:58,080 Let's see, which one? 1010 01:03:58,240 --> 01:04:00,800 It's a shoe box... Look inside, look inside. 1011 01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:01,720 Here? 1012 01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,240 With cassette tapes and other music things. 1013 01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:06,040 Not that one, these are my sewing things. 1014 01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:08,280 Look, really. You wanna get up here? 1015 01:04:08,440 --> 01:04:10,600 -Come on, get down. -No, you get up here. 1016 01:04:10,760 --> 01:04:13,160 Of course! Take a look. 1017 01:04:14,800 --> 01:04:17,440 I'm telling you it's not here... 1018 01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:20,160 But it has to be somewhere. Because then... 1019 01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:22,400 -Careful. -Now look at what I've done. 1020 01:04:35,360 --> 01:04:38,640 TWEET ME 1021 01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:14,600 WE'RE GETTING MARRIED ANA AND LUIS MIGUEL 1022 01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:21,360 So all this time you've been having sex with your ex, 1023 01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:23,320 who has obviously been using you, 1024 01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:25,320 and she is marrying someone else now. 1025 01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:26,520 Kind of a bitch. 1026 01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:30,000 A bit of a bitch, but you're an idiot. 1027 01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:31,640 And you know what kills me? 1028 01:05:31,800 --> 01:05:35,400 Ana has been leading me on, but I've done the same to Raquel. 1029 01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:37,760 -Who is Raquel? -A friend. 1030 01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:41,480 -At least tell me she's hot. -She's hot, but it's not like that. 1031 01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:46,120 We ran into each other a while back but we've been friends since school. 1032 01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,160 She was my friend's little sister 1033 01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:52,000 and she was always asking me to record songs for her. 1034 01:05:52,160 --> 01:05:53,320 We liked the same bands... 1035 01:05:53,480 --> 01:05:56,120 Dude, you idiot... You've completely fallen for her... 1036 01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:58,360 That's all we needed. 1037 01:05:58,520 --> 01:06:00,160 You know what you have to do. 1038 01:06:00,320 --> 01:06:03,200 I know, get on a bunch of apps and hook up with lots of women. 1039 01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:06,520 But you know what's wrong? That doesn't work for me. 1040 01:06:08,720 --> 01:06:09,640 I'm going home. 1041 01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:13,920 Go home, because you need to focus a bit. 1042 01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:22,280 HOW TO STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE 1043 01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:36,440 Thanks for choosing the greatest self-help channel 1044 01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:37,680 in all the Hispanic world. 1045 01:06:37,880 --> 01:06:40,200 Because when you need help, you can you turn to? 1046 01:06:40,360 --> 01:06:41,640 Family? Friend... 1047 01:06:58,200 --> 01:06:59,120 Hi. 1048 01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,480 Hi Raquel, you got some flowers with a card. 1049 01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:05,440 Look, I think that this design, 1050 01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:08,400 if we cut the flower, it would fit perfectly... 1051 01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:19,440 "Among all the things you hate, I think there is room for me. 1052 01:07:19,600 --> 01:07:22,600 Tomorrow, I have a work party. I'd like you to come. 1053 01:07:22,760 --> 01:07:25,040 P.S.: If you don't want to come, I'll understand. 1054 01:07:25,200 --> 01:07:26,880 P.S.S.: But please come..." 1055 01:07:50,120 --> 01:07:51,560 -I loved Nadal's tweet. -Yeah? 1056 01:07:51,720 --> 01:07:53,280 -You're about to take off. -Well... 1057 01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:54,480 How do you do it? 1058 01:07:54,640 --> 01:07:57,120 -What's up guys? -How's it going? 1059 01:07:57,280 --> 01:07:59,520 -Good, could we talk for a moment? -Of course. 1060 01:07:59,680 --> 01:08:00,560 Alone. 1061 01:08:02,360 --> 01:08:04,400 There are two things I want to ask you. 1062 01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:07,560 -First, do you speak English? -Yeah... I mean, of course. 1063 01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:09,640 Good, because next week you're going to London. 1064 01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:10,880 -Really? -Yes. 1065 01:08:11,080 --> 01:08:13,880 The bosses want you to do a "Tweet Me" with the Premier League games. 1066 01:08:14,080 --> 01:08:16,160 -Great. -And secondly: let's fuck? 1067 01:08:16,600 --> 01:08:20,800 Let's eat? Thing is, I was snacking... Wait, you said "let's eat?" 1068 01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:24,080 No. I said let's fuck. 1069 01:08:25,360 --> 01:08:27,160 You know how this will end. 1070 01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:29,200 -A Christmas gift. -A big one. 1071 01:08:33,080 --> 01:08:34,560 -Hi. -Hi. 1072 01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:38,120 -Can I help you? -Yeah, thanks, I'm looking for Marcos. 1073 01:08:38,440 --> 01:08:40,160 -You must be Raquel. -Yes. 1074 01:08:41,000 --> 01:08:41,760 I'm Diego. 1075 01:08:42,480 --> 01:08:45,120 -The Macho Alpha male. -Well... 1076 01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:48,240 Excuse me, Marcos Garrido is at the end of the hall to the right... 1077 01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:49,080 No, no. Tomy. 1078 01:08:49,240 --> 01:08:50,920 In the room with the garbage bins. 1079 01:08:51,120 --> 01:08:52,120 -There? -Yes, in there. 1080 01:08:52,280 --> 01:08:55,400 Tomy, you're wrong. He's not here yet. No, Raquel. Wait! 1081 01:08:56,920 --> 01:09:00,080 No, Lorena. There's been a mistake here. No, really... 1082 01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:03,080 -You and your big mouth, Tomy... -What did I do now? 1083 01:09:03,880 --> 01:09:05,000 I said no... 1084 01:09:21,480 --> 01:09:22,320 Raquel! 1085 01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:25,040 Raquel! 1086 01:09:27,400 --> 01:09:28,240 What? 1087 01:09:29,720 --> 01:09:30,640 Nothing happened. 1088 01:09:32,480 --> 01:09:34,400 Fuck, everything is screwed up. 1089 01:09:35,280 --> 01:09:37,440 Lorena is my boss, I don't like her. 1090 01:09:37,600 --> 01:09:39,680 You can fuck whoever you want. 1091 01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:45,120 But what I don't get is why you even invited me to this party. 1092 01:09:46,160 --> 01:09:47,560 Well, that's exactly... 1093 01:09:48,880 --> 01:09:52,200 Look, what I wanted, today... 1094 01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:57,080 I mean, what I want... 1095 01:09:57,800 --> 01:09:58,920 What? 1096 01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:01,120 What do you want, Marcos? 1097 01:10:33,040 --> 01:10:35,480 -A bit messed up, right? -What is a bit messed up? 1098 01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:38,800 Calm down, the one who went to the trash room to fuck was you. 1099 01:10:39,040 --> 01:10:40,800 Screw fucking, that has nothing to do with this! 1100 01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:42,560 Why do you only think about fucking? 1101 01:10:42,720 --> 01:10:45,320 Don't freak out. Even though you've changed your hairstyle 1102 01:10:45,480 --> 01:10:48,120 and bought four shirts, you're still the same loser as always. 1103 01:10:48,280 --> 01:10:50,160 Calm down, guys. I've got a solution. 1104 01:10:50,320 --> 01:10:52,040 If you want to patch things up with that girl, 1105 01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:54,080 tomorrow there is a Thermomix demonstration. 1106 01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:56,720 -It's like the new Ferrari for women! -It's the new nothing! 1107 01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:59,080 Besides, what do you know about women. 1108 01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:01,320 Speak for yourself, we're doing alright here. 1109 01:11:01,480 --> 01:11:04,320 Yes, you're awesome. How long have you been after Susana? 1110 01:11:05,040 --> 01:11:06,120 A month. 1111 01:11:06,280 --> 01:11:08,680 My balls one month! A year of begging her, at least. 1112 01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:09,880 And what have you landed? 1113 01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:13,400 I think we are laying out a solid base for the future... 1114 01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:16,200 And as you do that, you know who brought in his crane? This one. 1115 01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:18,200 -What? -What are you saying? 1116 01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,600 Mariano, how are things with Elena? Good? 1117 01:11:21,480 --> 01:11:24,640 At a party the other day we talked for three hours... 1118 01:11:24,800 --> 01:11:27,720 You know where she was for three hours getting laid after? His house. 1119 01:11:27,920 --> 01:11:29,600 I never slept with her. 1120 01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:31,400 Are you an idiot or what? 1121 01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:35,600 Marcos, have you seen your friend? I told her you were in the trash room... 1122 01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:37,200 Silvia, 28 years old, brown eyes. Less than 1 km. away. 1123 01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:38,600 She likes brown cats. 1124 01:13:40,360 --> 01:13:41,920 You are a motherfucker. 1125 01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:49,400 I really crossed the line the other day. Sorry. 1126 01:13:51,400 --> 01:13:53,800 The only thing I'm sorry for is that you're not Silvia. 1127 01:13:54,040 --> 01:13:56,760 But I have brown eyes, is that good enough? 1128 01:14:04,520 --> 01:14:07,040 Then, are you sure? You're going to London? 1129 01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:09,480 It's a good opportunity for work. 1130 01:14:09,760 --> 01:14:11,200 And Raquel? What happened? 1131 01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:13,920 Nothing happened because I'm a coward. 1132 01:14:15,720 --> 01:14:17,520 And since I don't want to be rejected again 1133 01:14:17,680 --> 01:14:19,400 I'd rather just forget about it somewhere else. 1134 01:14:21,080 --> 01:14:24,240 You can be so many things, and a bit stupid is one of them... 1135 01:14:24,400 --> 01:14:26,040 But not a coward. 1136 01:14:28,680 --> 01:14:32,000 I know lately I've been a real pain in the ass about my girlfriends. 1137 01:14:32,160 --> 01:14:33,880 But when I get back from London, 1138 01:14:34,400 --> 01:14:37,080 will you tell me what is it that scares you so much? 1139 01:14:41,920 --> 01:14:44,240 They say that English girls love to dress up. 1140 01:14:44,400 --> 01:14:45,720 Maybe I'll go and visit you. 1141 01:14:46,440 --> 01:14:49,400 I also like to dress up. Come see me. 1142 01:14:56,240 --> 01:14:57,320 Again! 1143 01:14:57,480 --> 01:14:59,360 Dad, let me in! This is really heavy! 1144 01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:12,200 Son, I know you're not stupid, the school psychologist told us, 1145 01:15:12,360 --> 01:15:16,080 but try to focus a bit. You're too old to be wasting time. 1146 01:15:16,240 --> 01:15:18,040 I'm going to London, I got promoted. 1147 01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:20,760 This time it's for real, they told me. 1148 01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:22,480 But I'm leaving you these things to hold on for me. 1149 01:15:22,640 --> 01:15:24,880 Don't sell them on Wallapop, these are mine. 1150 01:15:25,080 --> 01:15:26,880 -Hi, Marcos! -Hi, mom. 1151 01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:30,400 Hey, I think I found that box you were looking for. 1152 01:15:34,680 --> 01:15:37,000 I'll take a look at this... 1153 01:16:05,320 --> 01:16:06,480 Good morning. 1154 01:16:15,360 --> 01:16:17,240 Okay, I've been stupid and an idiot. 1155 01:16:17,400 --> 01:16:19,360 But I'm not a coward. 1156 01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:22,880 I'm not a coward, I'm not a coward. 1157 01:16:23,440 --> 01:16:24,720 I'm not a coward.... 1158 01:16:26,320 --> 01:16:27,880 Now I know why you left me. 1159 01:16:28,480 --> 01:16:30,320 Marcos, now's not the best time... 1160 01:16:30,480 --> 01:16:32,720 Sorry, this will only take a minute. I'm Marcos, the ex-boyfriend. 1161 01:16:32,920 --> 01:16:34,280 Francisco, Maribel, how's it going? 1162 01:16:35,360 --> 01:16:38,480 You left me because you didn't love me. It's okay, I didn't love you either. 1163 01:16:38,640 --> 01:16:40,560 -Marcos... -But I want to thank you. 1164 01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:43,520 Because you said something the day you dumped me 1165 01:16:43,680 --> 01:16:45,200 that at that time I didn't see. 1166 01:16:45,360 --> 01:16:47,880 That this was for the best for both of us and you were right. 1167 01:16:48,080 --> 01:16:50,360 Now you'll be happy with... What's your name? 1168 01:16:50,520 --> 01:16:51,200 Luis Miguel. 1169 01:16:51,680 --> 01:16:53,040 With Luis Miguel. 1170 01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:54,920 -And I... -Marcos, enough! 1171 01:16:55,120 --> 01:16:57,520 I just want to, as your ex-partner, 1172 01:16:58,320 --> 01:17:00,360 congratulate you. Really. 1173 01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:08,120 Luis Miguel, I'm sorry. 1174 01:17:09,560 --> 01:17:12,200 While you were in Berlin she was fucking me. 1175 01:17:12,360 --> 01:17:14,040 She's a bit of a bitch. 1176 01:19:49,400 --> 01:19:50,200 Okay. 1177 01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:54,760 But I want you to know you found me at a weird time in my life. 1178 01:19:55,120 --> 01:19:57,440 I tried to change everything just to be a man of the XXI century. 1179 01:19:57,600 --> 01:20:00,360 But that was so dumb... what does that even mean? 1180 01:20:01,000 --> 01:20:03,560 Because now I like exercising and eating better. 1181 01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:06,640 But apps for hooking up don't work for me, nor the sexymojis. 1182 01:20:07,120 --> 01:20:09,360 And really, I'd prefer that an eggplant just be an eggplant. 1183 01:20:09,520 --> 01:20:12,640 And I don't like it when pants cut off the blood flow to my legs, 1184 01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:16,520 or wearing a S size jersey. Instead, I still like my vinyls 1185 01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:20,120 and the hair on my legs and my music band shirts, 1186 01:20:20,280 --> 01:20:22,400 and I'm not going to give up the things that I like. 1187 01:20:24,760 --> 01:20:27,000 Because, above all, I like you. 1188 01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:31,400 I like you because you don't have to put on anything just to be yourself 1189 01:20:31,560 --> 01:20:33,160 and that to me is amazing. 1190 01:20:33,800 --> 01:20:35,480 And you know what you want. 1191 01:20:37,080 --> 01:20:40,440 And if you want, you colour your hair pink and dance barefoot. 1192 01:20:57,680 --> 01:20:58,600 No... 1193 01:21:02,080 --> 01:21:04,720 This is me. I know what I want. 1194 01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:06,640 And I love you, Raquel. 1195 01:21:27,600 --> 01:21:31,400 I LOVE YOU, STUPID 1196 01:21:40,040 --> 01:21:41,800 My name is Sebastian Venet. 1197 01:21:42,600 --> 01:21:44,080 Venet with a V. 1198 01:21:44,720 --> 01:21:47,120 I'm a holistic therapist. 1199 01:21:48,080 --> 01:21:50,200 I developed a discipline that 1200 01:21:50,360 --> 01:21:53,480 encompasses several disciplines in the art of healing. 1201 01:21:55,040 --> 01:21:59,200 I treat patients all around the world with my "EFUS" method. 1202 01:21:59,720 --> 01:22:01,600 Empowerment For You System. 1203 01:22:02,440 --> 01:22:04,760 I also train future "EFUS" masters. 1204 01:22:06,400 --> 01:22:08,200 I do transpersonal yoga, 1205 01:22:08,360 --> 01:22:12,440 somatic reiki, top stream Vikram inferno, 1206 01:22:13,480 --> 01:22:18,160 and shock therapy for couples with self-defense techniques. 1207 01:22:20,040 --> 01:22:23,200 I was also sworn in as a master in retro hypnosis 1208 01:22:23,360 --> 01:22:26,200 through the Chang Fu Mar de Plata Academy. 1209 01:22:26,360 --> 01:22:28,040 And well, 1210 01:22:28,200 --> 01:22:32,520 basically what I do is help people. 1211 01:22:34,280 --> 01:22:37,800 Help people to... do everything. 1212 01:22:38,760 --> 01:22:40,160 Sebastian, time to eat! 1213 01:22:45,120 --> 01:22:46,520 Coming, mom! 1214 01:22:50,160 --> 01:22:53,240 I'll edit this later. 1215 01:26:50,040 --> 01:26:54,880 Subtitles: ECLAIR SPAIN