1
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:06,382
What's the key
to being a great dad?

2
00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:10,803
Ah, that's a tough one.

3
00:00:10,887 --> 00:00:13,097
Giving them the freedom
to be whatever they want to be.

4
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:15,016
Right. Exactly.
Whether that's a painter,

5
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:17,602
a poet, a pilot, a president...

6
00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:21,105
And for us, we're gonna—
Of a company or of a country.

7
00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:25,985
Pafience.

8
00:00:27,278 --> 00:00:29,780
Well, be their buddy.

9
00:00:29,906 --> 00:00:31,866
That's your answer?
And stay in school.

10
00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:33,701
No. And don't do drugs.

11
00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:35,703
No! Just give me the answer.

12
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,455
Oh, god.

13
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,168
Still thinking.

14
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,213
, /~ hey, heyj

15
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:49,342
,/' hey, hey hey, heyj

16
00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:52,470
,/' hey, hey heyw

17
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,687
Hey. Hi, Claire.

18
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:03,564
Oh, okay. Hey.

19
00:01:03,648 --> 00:01:06,817
Hi. Um, this is
my husband, Phil.

20
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,445
Hi. And, uh, that's my
son, Luke, right there.

21
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,489
Thbis— Desiree.

22
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,449
Desiree, right. Sorry. Oh, hi.

23
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,077
Desiree just moved in
down the block. Fun. Where?

24
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,787
314. Oh!

25
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,289
The two—bedroom cottage with
the indoor—outdoor family room.

26
00:01:20,373 --> 00:01:21,958
Very good. How did you...

27
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,585
Bet you're iovin' that steam
shower. Phil, that's creepy.

28
00:01:24,669 --> 00:01:27,964
Oh, sorry. I'm a—
I'm a real estate mogul.

29
00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:30,675
“What?” no, I'm a—
I am a real estate agent.

30
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:33,052
We caravanned that house.
Great, uh, deck.

31
00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:36,389
Thanks. I'm just there
till my divorce is final.

32
00:01:36,472 --> 00:01:38,933
Now, who is coconuts enough
to divorce you?

33
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:41,560
We gotta go,
but we'll see you around.

34
00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:43,562
We'll have to have you
over sometime.

35
00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:45,314
I'd love it. All right.

36
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,191
Bye. Bye.

37
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:50,111
She's awesome. No, we
are never having her over.

38
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:52,697
Heard she already slept
with two dads from the school.

39
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,448
What? Mm-hmm.

40
00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:56,158
That's horrible.

41
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,620
Dad, watch out!
Whoa! Watch it, buddy!

42
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,414
Grandma. I'm sorry.

43
00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:03,916
That still looks
like a girl's bike.

44
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,918
We'll add more black tape.

45
00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:08,754
[ Phi/j m y son has been
riding his sister's old bike.

46
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:11,799
Until he's responsible enough
to take care of his own bike.

47
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,884
Look, he spilled a soda
on my computer,

48
00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:17,013
he ruined our digital camera
taking pictures of himself underwater.

49
00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:19,348
It's a girl's bike.
I'm all for teaching him a lesson.

50
00:02:19,432 --> 00:02:23,811
But I worry about the ridicule he
might get from some loudmouth bully.

51
00:02:23,894 --> 00:02:27,815
Hey, hey, hey. Nice bike, Sally.

52
00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:31,402
- Dad! — come on. He looks
like little Bo peep on that thing.

53
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,880
Actually, not for long. He's
getting a new bike this afternoon.

54
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,573
I am? Mm-hmm.

55
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,825
He is?

56
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,887
Sometimes a man's gotta put his
foot down and do what a man's gotta do.

57
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:43,247
And if the old lady
don't like it...

58
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:45,249
Honey?

59
00:02:47,043 --> 00:02:49,170
That's too damn bad.

60
00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:52,089
[ Mitchel/j
yes. Who's excited, huh?

61
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,592
Cam, come on. Hurry up.
We're gonna be late.

62
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,470
It's a toddler play class,
not a flight to cabo.

63
00:02:57,553 --> 00:02:59,614
We're gonna be judged enough
as the only gay parents there.

64
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,140
I don't wanna be
the late ones too.

65
00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,851
Wo w! Paisley and pink.

66
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,871
Was there something wrong
with the fishnet tank top?

67
00:03:05,895 --> 00:03:08,189
Ob vious/y not.
I'm wearing it underneath.

68
00:03:08,272 --> 00:03:10,816
Kidding.
Just chill, please. Here.

69
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:13,069
I'm sorry. I just wanna make
a good first impression.

70
00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:15,589
You wanna fit in and not terrify
the villagers? Hey, come on.

71
00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,865
Today is about Lily, all right?

72
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,950
Her future best friend
might be in that class,

73
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,119
and I don't wanna rub
anyone the wrong way.

74
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:25,331
Can you please just
change your shirt?

75
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:28,435
Fine. You know what? I'll just go put
on a pair of khakis, maybe a Polo shirt,

76
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:31,021
and everybody will think we're a
couple straight golfin' buddies...

77
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:33,172
Who just decided
to have a kid together.

78
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:39,678
Hey, I called that place in napa and
got us upgraded to a villa with a hot tub.

79
00:03:39,804 --> 00:03:43,224
So pack whatever you
wear in a hot tub. Mmm!

80
00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:46,352
I usually wear nothing
when I'm in a hot tub.

81
00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:49,063
And my college roommate's wife
just had to get a new hip.

82
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,065
Sucker.

83
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:54,360
Manny's father is taking him for
a couple of days to Disneyland,

84
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,737
so we're gonna go
to the wine country.

85
00:03:56,821 --> 00:03:59,490
We're gonna drink some wine,
eat some good food.

86
00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:04,036
You know, we would do something like this a lot
more often if it wasn't for, you know, Manny.

87
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:07,748
He's good. He keep
us grounded. Yeah.

88
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:10,042
Like fog at an airport.

89
00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:13,438
Limo gets here at 4:00. This morning, I
thought I'd go to the club, hit a few balls.

90
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,798
No! What about the fan
in Manny's room?

91
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,384
Oh, yeah. Call a guy.

92
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:21,137
No! You're supposed to
do it with him.

93
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:24,223
It's important that we teach him
how to do things for himself.

94
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:26,892
In my culture, men take great
pride in doing physical labor.

95
00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:30,771
I know. That's why I hire
people from your culture.

96
00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:34,150
You're too funny.

97
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:38,070
I'm gonna share that one with my next
husband when we're spending all your money.

98
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:43,242
Dad, this is the coolest
bike ever. Awesome.

99
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,369
So, listen, buddy

100
00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:49,748
certain members of this family don't
think you can take care of this bad boy.

101
00:04:49,874 --> 00:04:52,126
You mean mom?
Your words, not mine.

102
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:55,713
Look, uh, your mom and I
are a team,

103
00:04:55,796 --> 00:05:01,010
and she— we feel like this is a chance
for you to show some responsibility.

104
00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:03,345
Don't make us look
like jerks here.

105
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,514
I won't. Okay.

106
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:07,600
One more rule. What?

107
00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:10,311
Have, like, three
butt-loads of fun.

108
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,480
Thanks, dad.

109
00:05:20,863 --> 00:05:23,657
So let's do this. — okay,
but I need to be done by 3:00.

110
00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:25,743
That's when my dad's
picking me up.

111
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:29,205
Hey, if we're not done by 3:00,
I'm gonna tie a noose on this thing.

112
00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:32,082
In Colombia there is a saying:

113
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,710
“If you have two stubborn burros
that don't like each other,

114
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:37,004
you tie them to the same cart.”

115
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,757
The ceiling fan is the cart.

116
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,301
My dad's taking me
on space mountain.

117
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:45,304
It's supposed to be really fast,
but he's not scared of anything.

118
00:05:45,429 --> 00:05:49,016
He doesn't even wear a seat belt
when he drives. Wow. How 'bout that?

119
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:52,770
Killed a bear once. — really? Was
the bear sittin' in the passenger seat?

120
00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:56,732
Read me the instructions.

121
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,860
“Safety tips. Warning: To reduce
the risk of electrical shock”...

122
00:05:59,944 --> 00:06:02,947
We can skip that.

123
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,367
Uh, “failure to heed these warnings
can lead to serious injury or death.”

124
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,536
You know, you worry
too much. You know that.

125
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,204
Nobody's gonna get shocked.

126
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,540
One time my dad
was struck by lightning.

127
00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:15,209
That's why he can drink
as much as he wants.

128
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,711
Ll/lann y thinks
his dad is I/ke Superman.

129
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,381
The truth? He's a total flake.

130
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:22,675
In fact, the only way
he's like Superman...

131
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:25,344
Is that they both landed
in this country illegally.

132
00:06:27,930 --> 00:06:29,890
I can't belie ve
/'/77 so nervous.

133
00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:31,976
They're gonna love us.
Let's just be ourselves.

134
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,228
Or a slightly toned—down
version of ourselves.

135
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:37,314
I just don't want this to
become an episode of “the cam show.”

136
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,459
Oh, my gosh. People love
“the cam show.” yes, I know.

137
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,068
You watch “the cam show.”
I do watch it.

138
00:06:41,193 --> 00:06:42,903
It's appointment viewing. Okay.

139
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,989
Hi! Are you here
for toddler time?

140
00:06:45,114 --> 00:06:47,575
Yes. I-I'm Mitchell.
This is Cameron. Hello.

141
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,702
And this here is Lily.

142
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,996
Oh, well! Welcome.

143
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,623
- We're all over here taking turns blowing bubbles.
- Oh!

144
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:58,961
Well, how nice
for... the babies.

145
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,338
Mm-hmm.

146
00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,633
This is gonna be really difficult.

147
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,690
Ten minutes after making a promise
to me, he leaves his bike unlocked

148
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,735
all I can hear is
Claire's voice in my head...

149
00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:24,737
“He's not responsible.

150
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:27,281
You never should have
given him a bike.”

151
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:30,200
I know.
I do a pretty good Claire.

152
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:33,370
So / decided
to teach him a lesson...

153
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:36,498
And let him think
his bike was stolen.

154
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:40,961
And I know that sounds kind of rough, but
sometimes it's a dad's job to be the tough guy.

155
00:07:41,045 --> 00:07:42,713
Excuse me! Thank you.

156
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,715
On your left!
My left. Your right!

157
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:51,722
Everyone, we have a new family
joining us today.

158
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:55,726
Hi. I'm, uh, Mitchell,
and I am a lawyer.

159
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,562
I— I'm Cameron, and
I'm currently not working,

160
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:03,609
which gives me more time to
grill and shoot baskets and...

161
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,611
And this is Lily.

162
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:07,821
Okay, we 're gonna start
with the hello dance,

163
00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:10,449
and then we're gonna move on
to blocks, then finger painting,

164
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,951
and then we're gonna do
our family dance.

165
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:15,037
All right.
Who wants to start us off?

166
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,414
J'.” Dance us in, p.J.!

167
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:25,255
She's adorable. Oh, thank you.

168
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:27,257
Seven months? Uh, eight.

169
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:30,386
Oh! Is she grabbing
or scooting yet?

170
00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,471
Yes. Absolutely.

171
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:35,599
I mean, when she's not
grabbin', she is— she is scootin'.

172
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:38,018
Dance us in, Tyler!

173
00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,771
Are you ready? Okay. Here we go.

174
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,691
Whoo! Oh!

175
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,735
Cam, Lily is not grabbing
or scooting yet.

176
00:08:46,819 --> 00:08:49,613
Well, she's not doing it yet,
but she will eventually.

177
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:52,741
No, but, see, a lot of these other
kids, they're— they're grabbing.

178
00:08:52,825 --> 00:08:54,702
I—I just— here. Come...

179
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,871
Lily. Look at the block, huh?
Grab the block, Lily. Grab the h.

180
00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,957
Dance us in, Lily!

181
00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:01,834
Okay. I got this. Cam, just...

182
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,878
Yes, I know. Tamp down my natural
gifts and dance like a straight guy.

183
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:08,257
No slapping your own butt. But
that's how I make my horsey go.

184
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:23,605
Thank you.

185
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:25,858
That was very good.

186
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:28,610
I feel dirty.

187
00:09:31,155 --> 00:09:33,282
Oh, hey. Hey! Hi.

188
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,284
Hi. Hi.

189
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,871
Uh, this is really embarrassing,
but I looked myself out of my house.

190
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:43,125
Oh! Pssh! I do that all the
time. Don't be embarrassed.

191
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,586
I was— I was hoping
you could help me.

192
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,713
There's a window open,
but I can't reach it.

193
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,798
Would you mind?

194
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:55,179
Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Great.

195
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,890
Of course.
You know what they say...

196
00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:01,185
“Every time god closes a
door, he opens a window.”

197
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:04,813
Or I guess in this case, every time he
locks you out. Okay, what do we got here?

198
00:10:04,897 --> 00:10:07,816
I mean,
am /attracted to her? Yes.

199
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,110
Would I ever act on it?
No. No way.

200
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:13,489
Not while my wife is
still alive.

201
00:10:13,572 --> 00:10:15,824
Are you sure I can't get you
something to drink?

202
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:17,951
Yeah. No, I'm— I'm fine. Really.

203
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:21,955
If I knew a man was gonna climb into my
bedroom window, I would have cleaned up a bit.

204
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:24,249
Are you kidding me?
It smelled great in there.

205
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,293
Like lotions and oils...

206
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:29,046
For... dry skin and, you
know, calloused hands.

207
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,048
Yeah, it's a candle.

208
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,133
Uh-oh. What's wrong?

209
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,887
The bike's gone. Oh, no.

210
00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:39,389
Can I help you find it?
That's all right. Thank you.

211
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:41,391
Okay. Thank you!

212
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:46,021
So, to teach him a lesson,
I took his bike,

213
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:50,317
and then— crazy thing— I put it down for
one minute, and someone swiped it from me.

214
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,070
Maybe that was your dad
teaching you a lesson.

215
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,573
Zinger.

216
00:10:56,657 --> 00:11:01,078
So, any chance I could, uh,
get a break on this one?

217
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:03,121
I can throw in a bell— deal.

218
00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:05,165
For five dollars. No, sir.

219
00:11:05,249 --> 00:11:09,294
So, you wanna go for the insurance
this time, or is it still for suckers?

220
00:11:09,378 --> 00:11:12,089
Got me again.

221
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,925
Well played, milord.

222
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,219
I will take some insurance.
Thank you.

223
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,347
What's going on in there?

224
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,349
That's not step four.
Don't worry about it.

225
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:25,060
It says right here that you
should— that's worrying about it.

226
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,354
I thought you guys
might need a drink.

227
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,356
Oh, you have no idea.

228
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:32,609
Manny, miamor, I have to go
get some stuff for our trip.

229
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:36,280
Lay./ but have some fun with your
father, okay? And I'll see you Monday.

230
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:40,993
Mwah! It makes me so happy to
see my two boys working together.

231
00:11:41,118 --> 00:11:43,412
Jay shocked himself twice.
Okay, Manny.

232
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:46,456
Well, I warned him.
Yep, he's been a big help.

233
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,543
Look at you two with
your private jokes already.

234
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:52,588
You're a regular
Salazar and El oso.

235
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:55,257
It's a very big comedy team
in Colombia.

236
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:58,844
El oso is always hitting Salazar in
the head with the ladder and things.

237
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,388
And sometimes
they wear dresses. Hmm.

238
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:05,100
They make you laugh,
but they also make you think.

239
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:09,354
You blew it.
You made me look bad.

240
00:12:09,438 --> 00:12:12,983
No, you made your mother
and I look bad. We are a team.

241
00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:16,069
Luke, you in there? Hey, dad

242
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:18,405
hey. Hey, buddy.

243
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,700
That was, uh— that was pretty
fun today, huh? Getting a new bike.

244
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:25,370
Yeah, it was awesome. So, uh,
what happened after I took off?

245
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:28,123
Anything you want to
share with me? Not really.

246
00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:30,918
So, if I, uh,
went out to the garage,

247
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:33,795
took a picture for a scrapbook,
there'd be no surprises?

248
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:39,092
I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it.
I just made a mistake.

249
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,970
Yeah, a big mistake! You're
making me look really bad here.

250
00:12:42,054 --> 00:12:44,097
I told mom
you were ready for this.

251
00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:46,934
- — It's just a scratch, dad.
- That's not the point, Luke! What?

252
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:50,646
I scratched it on my way
into the driveway. I'm sorry.

253
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:53,273
So, it's not stolen?

254
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:55,692
No. Why?

255
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,736
That's good,

256
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:01,156
'cause... there are bad people
out there who would steal a bike.

257
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,908
Those are thieves.

258
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,470
You sit there and think about the
scratch part. That's not good either.

259
00:13:05,494 --> 00:13:07,120
I gotta fix that step.

260
00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:10,624
So don't scratch anything while I'm
gone, unless it itches. That's different.

261
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:14,920
The good news is,
Luke has his bike.

262
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,964
More good news...

263
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:20,550
I taught some random kid a
valuable lesson by stealing his bike.

264
00:13:20,634 --> 00:13:23,553
Best ne ws—
Claire knows nothing.

265
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:27,891
So, lflgure I '/I just dump the
new bike where lsto/e the first bike.

266
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:30,185
That way,
random kid gets his back,

267
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,980
and this new bike doesn't raise
a lot of embarrassing questions...

268
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:37,025
Like why I had it or who boosted
who through a bedroom window.

269
00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:39,945
So, everybody's happy.

270
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,823
Uh-oh.

271
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:46,326
Ah, son of a— you gave me
the wrong screwdriver.

272
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,370
Maybe you're just
using it wrong.

273
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:52,082
My dad's great with tools. He can get
the wheels off a car in less than a minute.

274
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:55,002
Just get me to wine
country. Just get me to wine country.

275
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:56,712
Sorry! Ow!

276
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,423
I think my arm is broken.
Relax. It's not broken.

277
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,550
How do you know?
You don't know anything.

278
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,510
You have no concern for safety.

279
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:06,221
Because it didn't hit you that
hard. Why don't you just say it?

280
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:09,349
You don't want me around. You
know what? Right now, I don't!

281
00:14:09,433 --> 00:14:12,519
I don't wanna be with you either.
I'm gonna go wait for my dad.

282
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:15,689
Oh, but— but if you leave,
how will I ever finish?

283
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:19,067
You know what?
I wish you never married my mom.

284
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,695
I hate living here. You
think / like this arrangement?

285
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,781
I got a two—seater parked
in the driveway!

286
00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:32,497
I mean, I don't understand.

287
00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:34,901
Why are you trying to sneak around
and hide things from me?

288
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,335
I actually think it's
pretty funny. You do?

289
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:39,421
I do. Yes.

290
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:43,550
I mean, you steal a bike from some poor
kid, and then the bike gets stolen from you.

291
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:45,761
Ifshhanous

292
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,846
Classic me, right? Yeah!

293
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:51,433
So, where were you when it got
stolen? Oh, I was getting some gas.

294
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,686
Uh—huh. You don't stand
near the car when you get gas?

295
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:58,190
Yep, but, uh, I went inside to
get a soda because I was thirsty,

296
00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:00,317
and if I had a soda, I
wouldn't be thirsty anymore.

297
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,820
So I bought one, then I drank it all right
there, which is why I don't have the can.

298
00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:07,908
Well, honey, please, let's try to
remember that I'm your wife, not your mom.

299
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:11,161
So in the future, you don't need
to hide things from me. Okay?

300
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,121
Okay. Okay.

301
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,957
Okay. Oh! Oh, yeah.

302
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,919
You get back here, you!
What are you doing, Phil?

303
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,879
I just love ya so darn much!

304
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,404
I know. I love you too, but
that hurts. Let's get you inside.

305
00:15:23,507 --> 00:15:25,509
Hi. I know. That's
hurting a lot.

306
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,511
This is a hot
one. Hello! Hi there!

307
00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:29,554
Hi again. Oh, hi.

308
00:15:29,638 --> 00:15:31,515
I, uh, found your bike.

309
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,725
Oh, good! You...

310
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:36,520
At the gas station?
No, at my house.

311
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:41,024
One of my neighbors saw it and put it in my
garage when you were in my bedroom, so...

312
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,363
Classic me?

313
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,241
Come on, honey. Grab the block.

314
00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:51,576
See, //ke he d/d.
You gotta do that.

315
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:55,288
You gotta grab it like him.
So, seen any movies lately?

316
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,040
Uh, yeah.

317
00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:01,461
You know, my husband and I just rented,
uh, il/lamma ll/lial, which I liked,

318
00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:05,132
but I don't know that Meryl Streep
was the right choice.

319
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:07,342
What did you think?

320
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:11,429
Excuse me. Meryl Streep could
play Batman and be the right choice.

321
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:13,431
She's perfection...

322
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:16,810
Whether she's divorcing Kramer,
whether she's wearing Prada.

323
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,563
Don't even get me started
on Sophie's choice.

324
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,232
I get emotional
thinking about it.

325
00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:26,236
She couldn't forgive herself.

326
00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:32,826
I guess she was okay.

327
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,703
Really? Ooh.

328
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:36,454
Uh—uh—uh.

329
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:38,456
Grab the blocks, sweetheart.

330
00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,835
- — You're not even interested in it.
- Is Henry stacking?

331
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,129
Good job, Henry!

332
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,131
Good job!

333
00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:56,516
3 w-x-y and z, I'

334
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,852
j' now I know my— j'j

335
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,313
whoa, Lily! Oh!

336
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:04,191
Not so high. Wow!

337
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:06,234
- That is a big moment for her.
- Yeah.

338
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:08,236
Would you like a videotape?

339
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:11,948
Uh, you know, I don't— I don't know if!
Can actually get her to do it again, so...

340
00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:14,826
Well, we tape all
of our classes.

341
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,911
We don't like parents bringing cameras
in. It keeps them out of the moment.

342
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,765
I'll get you a copy after class.
That's super. Yeah.

343
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,458
Great. Thank you.

344
00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,212
Cam. Cam, let's go.

345
00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:28,524
I don't know what's happened to me, but I
just stole a baby's intellectual property.

346
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,217
What? You'll see it
tonight on the news.

347
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:34,095
- — Come on. Let's just go.
- Oh, look who's here!

348
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,306
Anton and scotti
sorry we're late!

349
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,392
Don't look at me. The eye
candy here can't leave the house...

350
00:17:39,476 --> 00:17:41,645
Without spending 20 minutes
in front of the mirror.

351
00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:44,022
Are you kidding me?

352
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,691
I am so sorry.

353
00:17:46,775 --> 00:17:49,069
Look at those queens. I would
have killed with this crowd.

354
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:51,988
But you had to clip my wings—
Which you used to be the wind beneath.

355
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:55,242
I know. I'm sor— this class has
turned me into a complete monster.

356
00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,744
I'm— I'm just— I'll make
it up to you. Let's just go.

357
00:17:57,827 --> 00:18:00,664
Okay, it's time
for parents dance.

358
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,416
Everybody dance for
your baby!, /', /'

359
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,379
Wow!

360
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:09,547
You wanna do it, don't you?

361
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:11,258
I do.

362
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:13,176
I wanna dance for my baby.

363
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,262
All right. Go on. Get
in there. You sure?

364
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:17,764
Make that horsey move. Go ahead.

365
00:18:26,231 --> 00:18:29,234
Go, go!

366
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,783
,/' g—get it on j

367
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,911
oh, I think I hurt myself.

368
00:18:57,512 --> 00:19:00,974
Hello. Hey, Javier.

369
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,685
Manny's waiting for you outside.

370
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:06,438
What? Why not?

371
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,025
Hold that thought.

372
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:13,862
! Jay! His son is sitting on a
curb, waiting to go to Disneyland,

373
00:19:13,945 --> 00:19:18,491
and Superman can't drag
himself away from a craps table,

374
00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:20,577
and I'm the jerk.

375
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:25,373
Say, listen.

376
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:27,500
I, uh...

377
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:31,087
Sorry, but I got some
bad news. What?

378
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:34,716
Your dad couldn't make it.
Why not?

379
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,843
The plane was full,

380
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:40,513
and this old lady needed to get
home, so he gave up his seat.

381
00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:42,557
No. You're making
that up, aren't you?

382
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,559
He just didn't want to come.

383
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:48,063
Are you kidding me? He was
very upset. He was dying to see you.

384
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:52,275
In fact, look what he sent.

385
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:55,653
A limo? Yeah.

386
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:58,073
He wanted me and your mom
to take you to Disneyland.

387
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:01,701
I told you he was an awesome
dad. Yeah, he's a prince.

388
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,789
Okay. The key
to being a good dad?

389
00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:10,668
Look, sometimes things work out
just the way you want.

390
00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:14,464
Race you to the end. That
is not a good idea... for you.

391
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:20,261
! Jay! Sometimes they
don't. You gotta hang in there.

392
00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,807
Because when all
is said and done,

393
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:28,770
90% of being a dad...

394
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,939
Is just showin' up.

395
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:47,372
Hey! That's my bike!
Oh, I don't, uh...

396
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,667
Well...

397
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,671
You— I was giving it back!

398
00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,135
She couldn't forgive herself.

399
00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:04,556
And... she had to choose.

400
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:06,933
I think because now I have...

401
00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:10,186
We have— we have— we have Lily,

402
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:14,649
it's so hard to imagine
being put in that position.

403
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:16,901
If I had to choose Lily
or Mitchell,

404
00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:19,070
I mean, I would choose li...

405
00:21:19,154 --> 00:21:22,657
I don't know! I don't know!

406
00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:26,661
I don't know!

407
00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:29,706
I don't know!

408
00:21:31,583 --> 00:21:32,584
English - us — psdh