1
00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:05,840
What am I most afraid of?
Hmm. Let's see.

2
00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:08,926
Global warming...
And getting a “.”b

3
00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:11,929
the phone ringing
in the middle of the night.

4
00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:14,682
That I'm too much
of a perfectionist.

5
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,684
Honey, this isn't
a job interview.

6
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,686
Oh, man.

7
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:20,646
Job interviews.

8
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:23,816
Nothing. Yeah, right.
What about the pigeons?

9
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:26,986
Oh, I don't like them.
They're shifty.

10
00:00:27,111 --> 00:00:30,489
Losing Mitchell. Oh!

11
00:00:30,573 --> 00:00:33,492
Hotel bedspreads. Ooh.

12
00:00:33,576 --> 00:00:35,536
Never getting
my driver's license.

13
00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,955
Or getting one
and the picture sucks.

14
00:00:39,332 --> 00:00:40,875
Dying alone.

15
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,502
0/7, hale y, sweet/e,
did you find your shoes?

16
00:00:43,628 --> 00:00:46,356
Mom, please, not today. I just
wanted to know if you found your shoes.

17
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,133
Why are you hounding me?
I'm freaking out right now.

18
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,719
You need to relax.
It's just a driver's test.

19
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:55,097
It's my third driver's test,
and if I fail again,

20
00:00:55,181 --> 00:00:57,141
I have to wait six months
to retake it.

21
00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,977
That's six more months of you
driving me everywhere.

22
00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,623
Then I'm, like, “there's no way
I'm wearing that.” and she was, like...

23
00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:04,791
Like. “Well, if you don't
wear it, then you can't play.”

24
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,877
And then I was, like, “that's
fine by me.” honey, like.

25
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,213
And then she was, like, “well,
if you don't play—” like! Like!

26
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,917
Mom! Stop! Stop
saying “like” all the time.

27
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,491
You're embarrassing me! Stop it!
Like, like, like, like, aah!

28
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:14,867
Hmm.

29
00:01:14,951 --> 00:01:17,203
Haley. Found your jacket.

30
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:21,040
Why is everyone on me? God!

31
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:23,668
Ignore her. She can't focus
on two things at once.

32
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,254
Always a good quality
in a driver.

33
00:01:26,337 --> 00:01:28,839
Sweetie, we need to get you
some shoes for the dance tonight.

34
00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:31,592
No, we don't. I'm not going.
What are you talking about?

35
00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:33,552
Why would you
not be going to the dance?

36
00:01:33,636 --> 00:01:35,388
Because sonoo/ dances are lame.

37
00:01:35,471 --> 00:01:39,392
A bunch of immature boys trying to
impress you with how cool they are...

38
00:01:39,475 --> 00:01:41,435
When they're really
just a bunch of dorks.

39
00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:43,521
Ready to go down under, mate?

40
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,314
Yes.

41
00:01:45,398 --> 00:01:48,818
- — What are you doing?
- Treasure hunting.

42
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:50,278
Wow.

43
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,613
A few days ago, the cable guy
was under the house.

44
00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:54,949
When he was leaving,
he said to Haley,

45
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:58,119
“wow. That's quite a collection
you've got down there.”

46
00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:02,540
Here's the thing. We have no idea
what he's talking about.

47
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:06,419
All week, Luke and I have been getting more
and more excited about what it could be.

48
00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:09,297
I bet it's really cool
old magazines.

49
00:02:09,380 --> 00:02:13,175
Yeah. Or a bunch of necklaces
made out of animal teeth.

50
00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:15,386
Or bugs frozen in Amber.

51
00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:19,432
What if it's really expensive
bottles of wine? Or a suit of armor.

52
00:02:19,557 --> 00:02:23,728
What if there's
ancient Indian arrowheads under there?

53
00:02:23,853 --> 00:02:26,897
What if it's gold bars?
Oh, you think?

54
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:30,067
For god sakes, why don't you
go under the house and look?

55
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,780
, /~ hey, heyj

56
00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:38,826
,/' hey, hey hey, hey, I

57
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:42,038
,/' hey, hey heyw

58
00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:49,962
Hey, cam. Cam, where
did we get this Dolly from?

59
00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:53,215
From Janice and Olivia. They
brought it over yesterday. Lily loves it.

60
00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:56,427
Seems a little frilly,
you know, coming from them.

61
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:59,740
What, because they're lesbians? That's sort
of an offense stereotype, don't you think?

62
00:02:59,764 --> 00:03:03,267
Yeah, I suppose. I'm sorry. Oh, hey,
did they bring back our coffee maker?

63
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:05,478
No. It was too big.
They were on their motorcycle.

64
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:10,250
We got off to an awkward start with
our pediatrician, a very nice Asian lady...

65
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:11,901
Irrelevant. Named Dr. Miura.

66
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:14,653
So I took the bold step
of inviting her over for brunch.

67
00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:17,031
I'm sorry. Uh, bold?

68
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:18,908
She said no patient
had ever done it before.

69
00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:21,327
Yeah. Subtext, “this is weird.”

70
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,788
I didn't hear any subtext.

71
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,873
Do you hear any now?

72
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,919
I don't even
know why we're doing this.

73
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,963
Because what if Lily gets sick
and there's a Tamiflu shortage?

74
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,757
Who do you think's
gonna get that medicine?

75
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,509
The patient she likes,
that's who.

76
00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:39,303
Well, maybe if you bake her a
cake, she'll give us free x-rays.

77
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:40,888
It's all about making connections.

78
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,200
Why do you think the dentist
gives me all that free stuff?

79
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:46,602
Um, because he's a huge queen
and he has a big crush on you.

80
00:03:47,812 --> 00:03:49,772
Really? Do you think so?

81
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:52,108
Ll/lom? Hmm?

82
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:55,111
- I have a fever.
- A y, mi amor. Come here and I feel you.

83
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:57,822
Ooh. I don't wanna get
you sick. It could be fatal.

84
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,865
Then by all means,
stand next to me.

85
00:03:59,949 --> 00:04:01,951
Let me feel you.

86
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,413
Ay, pap/I but you're not warm.

87
00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:09,375
Uh, probably because you were
cooking and your hands are warm.

88
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,128
I better skip the party
tomorrow just to be safe.

89
00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:15,089
Oh. Yeah, the party.

90
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:18,676
What? The party.

91
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,929
I understand about 20°/o
of what goes on around here.

92
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,223
The party is
at an amusement park,

93
00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:27,351
and Manny's afraid of
roller coasters. Poor kid.

94
00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,353
I don't know where
he gets his fear from...

95
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,355
Because his father's
not afraid of anything.

96
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:34,608
No bulls, no heights, no
helicopters, no fast cars...

97
00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:37,111
But go to dinner with him
and wait for the check to come.

98
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,405
Then you'll see fear in his eyes.

99
00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,949
Like the waiter's a ghost.

100
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,410
Excfled? Yeah.

101
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:48,747
We're like ponce de lec'm
and his son, little ponce.

102
00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:51,709
Who's that?
Famous treasure hunters.

103
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:55,337
His name was ponce? He'd
get made fun of at my school.

104
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:58,257
They'd probably call
him “pants.”

105
00:04:58,340 --> 00:05:00,259
Pants.

106
00:05:00,342 --> 00:05:02,511
Or maybe, um, “fancy ponce.”

107
00:05:02,595 --> 00:05:04,430
That's a good one.

108
00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,015
All right.

109
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,601
Let's do this.

110
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:10,186
Oh! Hey! Wow.

111
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,438
You okay, dad? Yeah. Yeah, I am.

112
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:15,483
Yep. Gonna take a little more
than getting trapped...

113
00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,126
In a small, dark space with a
wild animal to rattle your old man.

114
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:20,464
All right. You never
want your kids to see you scared.

115
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:24,700
You wanna be that rock that they
can grab a hold of in a stormy sea.

116
00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:27,870
Actually, a rock would sink.
So a floating rock.

117
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:32,124
Let's start over. It's windy,
and you've got a lot of papers.

118
00:05:32,208 --> 00:05:35,503
Okay let's do this, buddy.

119
00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:40,883
Okay! Good recon.

120
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:42,885
Got the lay of the land, so...

121
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,679
Aren't we going in? Yep, we are.

122
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:50,434
But won't it be fun if we did it with
ski goggles and barbecue tools?

123
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,645
I guess. Yeah.

124
00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:55,272
Yeah. Let's do that. All right.

125
00:05:57,733 --> 00:06:00,027
Can I just say
that is a lo very outfit.

126
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:03,197
Oh. Thank you. Well, it's just
nice to see you out of your lab coat.

127
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,449
You actually have
quite a nice figure.

128
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:08,744
Take it down a notch. We're trying to
make a friend, not initiate a three-way.

129
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:15,209
- — Lily looks great.
- Do you think so?

130
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,896
Shouldn't she have more teeth? I see
these kids running around at the park,

131
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,880
and they look like sharks.

132
00:06:19,964 --> 00:06:21,590
Don't worry. She's perfect.

133
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:24,760
Aren't you, Lily? Oh, look
how calm she is with you.

134
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,762
She's usually very fidgety
around new people.

135
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:29,324
Well, I just think she senses you're
gonna be a good friend for her...

136
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:32,393
During good times
and— and flu season.

137
00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:34,228
Mommy.

138
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:37,147
Did she just...

139
00:06:37,231 --> 00:06:39,316
Did she just say...

140
00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:42,528
Well, her first word...

141
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,822
Was every gay father's
worst nightmare.

142
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,824
Oh “mommy”

143
00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:53,163
Jay, he won't admit it,

144
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,666
but I know that Manny's sad
because he's missing the party.

145
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,419
Why don't we take him somewhere
to take his mind off it, hmm?

146
00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,480
I could have guessed he'd
have trouble with roller coasters.

147
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:03,624
That kid gets woozy at barbershops when
they spin his chair towards the mirror.

148
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:06,927
How about we take him to the
pier and go fishing, huh? Manny!

149
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,054
He likes to fish? Yeah.

150
00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:14,226
He comes from a long line of fishermen
and smugglers. But I encourage the fishing.

151
00:07:14,310 --> 00:07:16,895
- Manny, you like to fish?
- Fishing? Yeah.

152
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,939
You want to go
to the pier today?

153
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:22,776
No. Is this a trick to
see if I'm really sick?

154
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:25,529
Maybe the fresh air
will make you feel better.

155
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:28,866
Well, then yeah, 'cause there's no
place where I'm more at one with...

156
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,284
Just get your coat.

157
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:32,328
Are you nervous? Shut up, Alex.

158
00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,830
I was just asking. I'd
be nervous if I were you.

159
00:07:34,913 --> 00:07:36,957
Alex, leave your sister alone.
She's gonna be fine.

160
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:39,335
As long as I don't get the
same guy. He's so mean.

161
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:40,878
You probably will. You won't.

162
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:43,088
He hates me.
He doesn't hate you.

163
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:45,507
He yelled at me.
You drove into the bushes.

164
00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:48,427
Oh, no. It's him. Please don't
be for me. Please don't be for me.

165
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,888
Please don't be for me.
Please don't be me. Hi.

166
00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:54,725
Oh, thank god.

167
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,437
Well, come on.
I don't have all day.

168
00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:01,732
I'm gonna throw up. Okay, no.
This is what you're gonna do.

169
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,935
You're gonna get in that car,
put on your seat belt...

170
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,195
And take three deep breaths
and relax.

171
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:08,447
This guy sees
hundreds of kids every day.

172
00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,634
He probably doesn't even
remember you, all right? Okay.

173
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:13,327
Yo. Let's move it, two strikes.

174
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:18,540
That's
more than three breaths, honey.

175
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,253
See how much better this is?

176
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,255
The truck goes in.
It gets video.

177
00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:28,068
And then we get a preview of whatever's
in there. How ingenious is that, huh?

178
00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:30,636
Are you just scared to go in?

179
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,680
Why would you say that?

180
00:08:32,763 --> 00:08:35,265
Well, when you stuck your
head in, you screamed a little.

181
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,267
I told you.
That was the house settling.

182
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:41,105
Besides, this is so much cooler.
This is how NASA does it.

183
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,982
Now, hand me
the itty bitty book light.

184
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:47,945
Yeah. Final piece of the puzzle.

185
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:51,990
Blast off.

186
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,205
Hey, dad? Yeah?

187
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,928
How are you supposed to steer
if you don't know where you're going?

188
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:04,670
Stay in the present, buddy.
Gotta do it by feel.

189
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,839
Gotta get all jedi on it.

190
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:19,101
Uh-oh.

191
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,936
- — Did you just lose my truck?
- No.

192
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,688
You just lost my truck!
No, I didn't!

193
00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:24,732
That was my truck!
Grandpa just gave it to me!

194
00:09:24,815 --> 00:09:27,484
- — I told you to stay in the present!
- Stop yelling!

195
00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:33,615
- — Truce?
- Yeah. Sorry.

196
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:38,662
This is delicious.

197
00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:42,249
Oh. Thank you. The recipe's from
the now-defunct gourmet magazine.

198
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:45,252
Why do all the things
I love go away?

199
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:49,548
Look, / don't even think
she said the “ll/I” word.

200
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:53,844
No, we heard it. It was clear as day. I— I
just don't know what we've done wrong.

201
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,055
I quit my job so I could
stay at home with her.

202
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:58,766
But maybe it's not enough.

203
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:03,896
Maybe we 're not pro viding her with
the fem/nine energy that she needs.

204
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:09,401
Yeah, I wouldn't
be too concerned about that.

205
00:10:09,485 --> 00:10:11,653
You— you know it's
because you're Asian, right?

206
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,697
Cam. No, I'm sorry. What?

207
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:17,576
Am I just supposed to ignore
the giant panda in the room?

208
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,454
Pandas are from China.
I— well, it doesn't matter.

209
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:25,083
Okay, okay. I think what my hysterical
partner is just trying to say, if I may,

210
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,085
that for the first
six months of her life,

211
00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:31,381
Lily was raised by very loving
Asian women, in an orphanage,

212
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,467
with whom she clearly bonded.

213
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:37,346
And then suddenly you come in
with all of your Asian-ness...

214
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:40,849
And-and—and breasts
and womb, lady bits...

215
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:44,061
And it all just comes
rushing back to her, and I...

216
00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:47,356
You guys are overreact/ng.

217
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:50,943
I'm sure lilyjust strung a couple
of random syllables together,

218
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,654
and they happen to sound
something like that word.

219
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,740
But that's all.

220
00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,786
- — Do you really think that?
- Of course.

221
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:02,621
- — She's right.
- We're being ridiculous.

222
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:06,667
- — We're being ridiculous.
- Your daddies are being ridiculous.

223
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,669
Mommy.

224
00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:11,171
Okay. Well...

225
00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:13,966
- — Li/lr. Tucker—
- Okay. No, no, no.

226
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:16,260
She's made her
choice! She's made her choice.

227
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:18,846
All right, left turn. Here?

228
00:11:18,971 --> 00:11:21,431
At the intersection, yeah. Okay.

229
00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,725
Left.

230
00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:26,478
What? I said left.
You're going right.

231
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:29,439

ah. no, wam
fntflymg, okay? Puhoven

232
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,276
- — no, I can do this!
- Pull over now.

233
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:37,656
- Why are you crying?
- Why do you hate me?

234
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:40,784
Oh, hell.
Haley, /don't hate you.

235
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:43,912
You seem like a nice girl.
You remind me of m y daughter.

236
00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:46,874
Which is why I want you
to live a long and happy life...

237
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:51,086
And be safe
and not hurt my daughter.

238
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:53,380
I really want my license.

239
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:56,091
I've been practicing a lot,
I swear.

240
00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,010
- — You gonna drink and drive?
- No, sir.

241
00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:00,804
- — You gonna text and drive?
- No, sir.

242
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:04,308
All right. Let's start this
from the beginning.

243
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:08,520
Could you smile first?

244
00:12:08,604 --> 00:12:10,689
I'll be less nervous
if you smile.

245
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:18,280
Okay, that didn't help.

246
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,865
Just go.

247
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,580
Today feels
like a good day for Halibut.

248
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,624
Hey, Jay, did I ever
tell you about the time...

249
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:32,377
I used peanut butter and jelly for
bait and I caught a thresher shark?

250
00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:34,755
I don't know. You tell
me a lot of funny things.

251
00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,049
Why are we going this way?

252
00:12:37,132 --> 00:12:38,967
It's just another way to go.

253
00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:40,636
Uh—oh. Something's going on.

254
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:43,430
What are you talking
about? Wake up, old man.

255
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,641
She's trying to get me
on that roller coaster.

256
00:12:47,309 --> 00:12:49,561
No, she's not. Yes, I am.

257
00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:51,313
- — What?
- Told you.

258
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,565
Manny, you have
to face your fears.

259
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:57,069
That's why we're here? Why didn't
you let me in on your little plan?

260
00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:59,797
Because you're the worst liar. He
would have seen right through you.

261
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,782
I don't wanna go
on the roller coaster.

262
00:13:01,865 --> 00:13:03,625
Manny, you were afraid
to light the barbecue,

263
00:13:03,659 --> 00:13:06,453
but now your eyebrows
have grown back...

264
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,622
And your salmon is legendary.

265
00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:11,124
What if I fall out?
I will catch you.

266
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:13,835
That's not possible.
He would crush you.

267
00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:15,420
What if I throw up?

268
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:17,506
I will clean it up.
It wouldn't be the first time.

269
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,967
Geez, these are new shoes.

270
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:21,593
You're not gonna let up,
are you?

271
00:13:21,677 --> 00:13:23,762
Baby, I think
you know the answer.

272
00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:28,016
Fine. Let's get it over with.

273
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,978
That's my boy. I/amos, Jay.

274
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:33,730
No, I'm not going on that.
That's bad for my back.

275
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:36,692
Yourbackisfine.
Igotaninnenearflflng.

276
00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:39,778
Oh, please. Don't tell me
you're scared too. Scared?

277
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,822
What is this “scared” stuff?

278
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,573
What am I, a child?
I'm not scared.

279
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,283
You see? You're the worst liar.

280
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:48,954
Well, if he's not going,
I'm not going.

281
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,872
Oh, for god's sake, fine!
I'll go alone.

282
00:13:50,956 --> 00:13:54,918
Here. Take my girlie purse
and you my floppy hat,

283
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,587
and if you need it,
there's the ladies' room.

284
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,718
I'm not man enough
to fight this.

285
00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:06,763
Here. Hold my purse.

286
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,518
Oh, hell!

287
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,942
What's taking them
solong? I don't know.

288
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:22,904
The only reason I'm not panicking
is I haven't seen a giant geyser.

289
00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:25,657
You know, honey, I think I know
why you don't wanna go tonight.

290
00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,909
No. Because school
dances are lame?

291
00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,162
'Cause you don't know
how to dance. That's not it.

292
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:33,040
I can help you with that. Come on.
Come on. Oh, god, no. No, mom.

293
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,500
Oh, yeah. Back in the day,
I was quite the dancer.

294
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,854
Oh, my god. You and dad together
suddenly makes so much sense.

295
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:40,505
33 mom. Mom, stop. Stop.

296
00:14:40,589 --> 00:14:43,508
Please, stop.
I know how to dance.

297
00:14:43,592 --> 00:14:45,886
I just don't wanna be
part of that freak show.

298
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:49,639
Sweetheart, you're a beautiful girl.
Someone will ask you to dance.

299
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,600
I know that. It's just stupid.

300
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:54,603
Somebody will ask you.
Why do you keep saying that?

301
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:57,314
Somebody will ask you.

302
00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,399
But what if they don't?

303
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:01,401
Honey, if they don't,

304
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:04,738
then you do the exact same thing
I told your sister, okay?

305
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,282
Take three deep breaths
and relax.

306
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,409
Even the advice I get
is a hand-me-down.

307
00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:12,496
Mom, I did it! Ipassed!

308
00:15:12,621 --> 00:15:13,663
Oh! Oh, my god!

309
00:15:13,789 --> 00:15:15,549
I got my license! Congratulations!

310
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,459
I have my license!
I got my license!

311
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,586
Car's not in “park.” oh. Oops.

312
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,647
You better run to that counter.

313
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,673
Go. Right now. Run! Run!

314
00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:31,098
Still can't believe you lost my
truck. It's gone, buddy. Let it go.

315
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:35,143
You know, maybe it's better
we don't solve this little mystery.

316
00:15:35,227 --> 00:15:38,563
Sometimes treasure's more sparkly
in your imagination.

317
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:42,234
Or it could be gold or
baseball cards or pirate maps.

318
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:45,737
Do you really think there could
be pirate maps under there?

319
00:15:45,821 --> 00:15:48,240
I'm a hundred percent sure
it's possible.

320
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:51,868
All right. I'm going in. What?

321
00:15:56,331 --> 00:15:58,667
Really? Buddy.

322
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,710
Whoa.

323
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,841
What do you see? Nothing.
It's really dark in here.

324
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:08,510
Wait a minute.
I think / see my truck.

325
00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,887
It's right over there
by the— uh-oh.

326
00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:13,265
What? I think /'/77 stuck.

327
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:16,768
How are you stuck? M y
belt loop got caught on a pipe.

328
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:19,396
And it's hot.
Have you tried wiggling?

329
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,523
Dad, it's hot! Hurry!

330
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,234
I'm coming, buddy! And
hurry. There is spiders in here.

331
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,236
Oh!

332
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,239
Coming!

333
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,283
I'm sorry if we got
all weird in there.

334
00:16:31,366 --> 00:16:33,285
No. It was fine.

335
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,596
Well, we'd like to say it's
different than how it usually is,

336
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:38,331
but you've seen us enough
to know that that's not true.

337
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:42,043
Guys, listen. I had a very complicated
relationship with my mother.

338
00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:45,338
She was born in japan—
Crazy traditional.

339
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:48,609
She didn't want me to become a doctor.
She wanted me to get married and have kids.

340
00:16:48,633 --> 00:16:51,469
But my father, we would talk...

341
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:54,222
And he would actually
listen to what I wanted.

342
00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:56,308
Anyway, what I'm trying to say...

343
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:59,853
Is having a mother isn't always
what it's cracked up to be.

344
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:02,898
Oh! Thank you. Well, thank you.

345
00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,900
And if you ask me,

346
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,360
having two fathers who
care as much as you do...

347
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,571
Makes Lily the luckiest
little girl in the world.

348
00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:11,674
Oh! Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you for that.

349
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,658
That's very sweet.
Thanks. Thank you.

350
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:16,244
And how are things
with you and your mom now?

351
00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:18,163
Uh...

352
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,999
The only way she'll be happy
is if I'm some Asian stereotype.

353
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:24,085
But that just isn't me.

354
00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,133
I didn't see those!

355
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:37,682
I'm coming, buddy. Over here.

356
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,894
That's— A spider web. Oh, god.

357
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,479
M y boy was in trouble,

358
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,066
so I put my fears aside,
and I came to his rescue.

359
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,401
Now, does that make me a hero?

360
00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,153
Yes, it does.

361
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,113
Everything's gonna be okay.

362
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:56,076
Hey. Everything's gonna be okay.

363
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:58,453
There. Thanks, dad.

364
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:01,081
Hey, that's what dads do.
Let's get out of here.

365
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,833
I want my truck. Really?

366
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:05,961
It was a Christmas gift.

367
00:18:06,044 --> 00:18:08,046
Could you go get it?

368
00:18:09,339 --> 00:18:11,341
Yeah. Yeah.

369
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,636
Sure. Let's go—
Let's go through it.

370
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,849
Yeah. There it is.

371
00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,272
Got it.

372
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:28,608
You okay? Yeah. Are you okay?

373
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:31,695
You know what? I am okay.

374
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,238
Hey. Hey.

375
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,699
We did it. Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

376
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,493
We're under the house.

377
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:41,288
What the heck. We're down here.

378
00:18:41,413 --> 00:18:44,708
Why don't we see
what we got, huh? Yeah.

379
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,877
Two intrepid explorers...

380
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:51,756
Make their way on a journey...

381
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,883
Dead bodies!

382
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,761
We called the police and
got a bunch of detectives over.

383
00:18:56,845 --> 00:19:00,140
Turns out it was the last owner's
Halloween decorations,

384
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:02,142
which is pretty funny.

385
00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:04,477
Least / thought it was.

386
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:07,522
E verybod y's afraid
of something, right?

387
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:11,151
Heights, clowns, tight spaces.

388
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:14,112
You like it, Jay?

389
00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:18,825
I did it!
Those are things you get over.

390
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,244
But then there's our children.

391
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:23,580
Will they fit in?

392
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,753
Will they be safe?

393
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,048
Those are fears
you ne ver get past.

394
00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:36,301
So sometimes all you can do...

395
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:39,637
Is take a deep breath,
pull 'em close...

396
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:42,432
And hope for the best.

397
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,017
- Bye!
- Eyes on the road.

398
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:46,019
- — Love you!
- Eyes on the road.

399
00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:47,604
Whoo! Oh, god.

400
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:51,191
I mean, things
don't always work out.

401
00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:53,568
Oh. Cam, I think
she wants her doll.

402
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:56,654
I don't know where it is. Ll/lomm y.

403
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,700
Mommy.

404
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,620
Mommy.

405
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,538
When you squeeze the doll,
it says “mommy.”

406
00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:07,791
Did—did you know that—
Not a clue.

407
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,085
The doll says “mommy.”

408
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,629
The doll says “mommy.”
the doll says “mommy.”

409
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,050
But you gotta
love it when they do.

410
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,722
Hey, dad. Hmm?

411
00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:24,933
Mom says there's
an old trunk in the attic.

412
00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:27,018
Oh, yeah. My grandpa's
old steamer trunk.

413
00:20:27,102 --> 00:20:30,021
In this movie I saw,
there was this old trunk...

414
00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:32,065
And there's
a secret compartment.

415
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,776
And when you opened it, there
was a whole bunch of paintings,

416
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:37,612
by the world's greatest painters,
hidden in the war.

417
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:40,615
My grandpa was in the war.

418
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,284
Should we go up there?
Totally. It could also be diamonds.

419
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:47,330
Or a samurai sword. Or the
declaration of independence.

420
00:20:47,414 --> 00:20:51,584
You know, it almost doesn't
even matter what's up there.

421
00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:54,712
What matters is what you do with
the money from what's up there.

422
00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:58,174
We could get a motorboat.
Or a robotic gutter cleaner.

423
00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:01,511
Or an indoor pool.
Or a two-man submarine.

424
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:07,392
English - us — psdh