1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:05,006
[ Rings]

2
00:00:05,089 --> 00:00:07,341
Honeydew! What's up?

3
00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:10,136
Guess who's here. Your dad!

4
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:13,890
[ Chuckles ] He drove his r.V.
All the way up from cocoa beach.

5
00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:16,267
Hey, son, working hard?

6
00:00:16,392 --> 00:00:18,394
He's gonna say “hardly
working.” [ Chuckles ]

7
00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:21,355
I meant to tell you
he was driving out.

8
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,232
Did he say it? Oh, yeah.

9
00:00:23,316 --> 00:00:26,694
Good kid. — he wasn't supposed
to show up for a few more days.

10
00:00:26,777 --> 00:00:29,447
Well, guess what he brought us.

11
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,116
A dog... to keep.

12
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,368
Yes! Yes.

13
00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:38,664
Yes, I should have told Claire
about the dog, and I was going to.

14
00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:41,459
But I was just waiting for her
to be in the right mood.

15
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,537
Actually, I did get one right mood
a couple nights ago,

16
00:00:45,588 --> 00:00:49,091
but I cashed that in
for something else.

17
00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:53,888
- — Am I in trouble?
- Oh, really, really big.

18
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:56,641
Okay, I'm a little scared.
How bad is this? Oh, well...

19
00:00:56,724 --> 00:01:00,102
We have a new rule— no sleeping
in the bedroom. [ Chuckles ]

20
00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:08,319
Mr. Pritchett.
Uh, ben— Ben dugan.

21
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,923
I went to high school with Mitch.
We were in the drama club together.

22
00:01:10,947 --> 00:01:12,657
That's right. Yeah.

23
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:15,243
Geez, I didn't recognize you
without that old-guy makeup on.

24
00:01:15,326 --> 00:01:17,954
You know, you and Mitch knocked
the sunshine boys out of the park.

25
00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:20,957
Mitch was really great in that.
I always thought he should be an actor.

26
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,751
Yeah, he's got a real job now.
He's a lawyer. How about you?

27
00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:26,629
Still acting. Fantastic.

28
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,552
Actually, it's exciting. I'm in a new
movie, maple drive. Just came out.

29
00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:32,093
You're kidding me. Look at me.
I know somebody famous.

30
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:34,303
Uh, anyway, I got to go.

31
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,056
Great to see you. Good
to see you too. Yeah.

32
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,558
Kid's a movie star.

33
00:01:39,684 --> 00:01:41,560
Hey, how'd it go in there?
No cavities.

34
00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:44,563
And I got a free toothbrush.
Hey, you want to go to the movies?

35
00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:47,233
I just heard about a good one.
But I'm supposed to be in school.

36
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,670
Well, you're supposed to floss
too, but you got away with that one.

37
00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:51,654
Come on. Let's go.

38
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,656
[ Jay]
One of the greatest days of m y life...

39
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:57,493
Was when my old man sprung me
from school and took me to the track.

40
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,787
I wanted to do the same
type of thing for Manny,

41
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:03,874
plus I figured when Gloria heard
about it, maybe it pays off in the bedroom.

42
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:07,336
I wonder if that's
why my old man did it.

43
00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:10,256
Oh, crap.

44
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,883
[Dad] Your mother-in-law
just had to have the dog.

45
00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:15,011
Turns out she's allergic.

46
00:02:15,094 --> 00:02:18,973
And the pet store didn't have a grace
period or a return policy or anything?

47
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:20,933
I got him from the pound.

48
00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:25,521
Was there a twister in Kansas?
Cause there's a house in my driveway.

49
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:29,150
Welcome home, Mr. Dunphy.
Uh, always a pleasure, Mr. Dunphy.

50
00:02:29,233 --> 00:02:32,903
Indeed it is, Mr. Dunphy.
Place it there.

51
00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:36,115
- Oh, isha/I. Isha/I.
- I miss this. Get in here.

52
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,658
[ Phi/j my dad is awesome.

53
00:02:37,742 --> 00:02:40,995
He's awesome. He's always up.
He's always happy.

54
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:44,332
I mean, he and I are best buds.
We're like two peas in a pod.

55
00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:47,918
Or siamese twins.
Or a snake with two heads.

56
00:02:48,044 --> 00:02:50,963
They've actually been all
those things for Halloween. Yeah.

57
00:02:51,047 --> 00:02:53,382
Oy. This must be scout, huh?

58
00:02:53,466 --> 00:02:57,178
I should warn you. He sheds. I made the mistake
of letting him sleep with me on the road.

59
00:02:57,261 --> 00:03:00,598
Now my sheets look like two
bigfoots did it. Pardon the language.

60
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,976
[ Chuckles ] How's il/iom?
Speaking of big feet, eh?

61
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:06,270
She's on a cruise
with her girlfriends,

62
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:08,314
some of which are not
totally unattractive.

63
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:11,567
Oh, that reminds me.
She sent some gifts for the kids.

64
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,569
Um, I will be right back.

65
00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:16,572
- — You three get better acquainted.
- Will do!

66
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,199
Bye! Will do!

67
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:20,951
I cannot believe you got a dog
without consulting me.

68
00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:23,079
This was a major family decision.

69
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:24,663
It was wrong. Yeah.

70
00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:25,956
And I'm sorry. Mmm.

71
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,042
But we have talked about
getting a dog for years,

72
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,805
and you're the only one
who wasn't into it.

73
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,171
Because I knew that I would be
the one taking care of it.

74
00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,756
Uh— that's not true.

75
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:36,217
No, we will all help. Mm-hmm?

76
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,887
This is a great chance to
teach the kids responsibility.

77
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,640
That is exactly what you said
about Luke's paper route.

78
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,399
[Il/ian], /~ hey, heyj

79
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:55,569
,/' hey, hey hey, hey, r

80
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:58,823
,/' hey, hey heyw

81
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,787
hello? 33 [ Suspenseful ]

82
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,164
Is anyone in there?

83
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:13,504
[ Gasps ]

84
00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:19,385
[ Breathing heavily]

85
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,762
Red's a good color on you.

86
00:04:21,846 --> 00:04:24,056
[ Screaming ]

87
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,559
[Whimpers ] [Knife siashing ]

88
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,561
It's just a movie.

89
00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:30,563
[ Hale y ] Oh, he's so cute.

90
00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:35,484
Look at his little face. I always
wanted a dog. Thanks, grandpa.

91
00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:37,838
Okay, but remember, having a dog
is a major responsibility.

92
00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:40,030
Everyone in the fam/iy
has to pitch in.

93
00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:43,117
- — Can do, Mrs. D.
- Not you, Dylan.

94
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,286
Oh, phew. 'Cause I got
a lot on my plate right now.

95
00:04:45,369 --> 00:04:47,621
[Phil] Hey, look who's
here. Uncle cam.

96
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:51,000
Hey, we heard about the new
addition and we had to come right over.

97
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:55,212
Cameron, so good to see
you again. Now that is a shirt.

98
00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:57,896
Oh, we”, thank you, frank. I
get 'em online. I'll send you a link.

99
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:00,926
Oh, well, at home, I smoke
sausages. I'll send you a link.

100
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,636
[Laughs] Classic.

101
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,389
And this must be Lily. Oh, yes.

102
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,367
Aww! She just couldn't
wait to meet the new doggy.

103
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:11,312
I think she's good right here. Let me get
in there and get some of that doggyness.

104
00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:13,814
Oh, there it is. Haley.

105
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:15,483
There it is. I gotta go.

106
00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:18,611
What's wrong? That was
Brian. He just quit the band.

107
00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:22,948
What? Why? He's moving to
Portland. His parents got back together.

108
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,992
I know. Oh, that sucks.

109
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,369
[ Dylan ] Now we're gonna
have to cancel the g/g tomorrow.

110
00:05:27,453 --> 00:05:29,371
Maybe you can find
another drummer.

111
00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:31,665
No. I think it's
too late for that now.

112
00:05:31,749 --> 00:05:33,334
I play drums.

113
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:36,086
Huh? Well, lmean, lha
ven't pzwedh7aivm%z

114
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:41,217
since Lily's come along,
but if you're in a jam, I can jam.

115
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:45,429
Well, I totally would, but I'm not sure we
like the same sorts of music, you know?

116
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:47,574
What, because I'm gay, I'm just
gonna want to play show tunes?

117
00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,725
No, because you're old.

118
00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:52,895
Wow. That hurt more, Dylan.

119
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,523
Give him a chance.
It's better than canceling.

120
00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:59,652
You're right. I don't want to lose
the deposit on that fog machine.

121
00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:01,695
Okay. Let's do it.

122
00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:04,990
I used to be a music teacher; But /
gave that up as soon as my came along.

123
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:07,135
Yes. Well, we just felt that
it was really important...

124
00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,119
That one of us stayed home
to raise her, so...

125
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,306
Yeah, and that's not a judgment
on other people's choices.

126
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:15,834
It's just that we happen to be a
very traditional family. Mm-hmm.

127
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:19,838
Yes, that's what the disabled lesbian
shaman who blessed Lily's room said too.

128
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,221
How you doin', buddy?
[Whimpers ]

129
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,974
All right, relax.

130
00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:33,769
[ Sobbing ]

131
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:40,943
[ Wailing]

132
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,657
Oh, geez.

133
00:06:51,704 --> 00:06:54,623
I am telling you, Phil,
the man was crying.

134
00:06:54,707 --> 00:06:56,917
That is impossible.
My dad is the happiest guy on earth.

135
00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,687
It probably just sounded like
he was crying.

136
00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:01,380
Have you heard the noise he
makes when he gets out of a chair?

137
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:04,592
No. I know what I heard. I think this
has something to do with your mom.

138
00:07:04,717 --> 00:07:07,469
What? Yeah, he came
here alone. Think about it.

139
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:11,473
She's on a cruise. Yeah, and they
never take separate vacations, so...

140
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,603
No. No, if something was wrong,
my dad would tell me about it.

141
00:07:15,728 --> 00:07:18,897
No, Phil, he wouldn't, because you
guys never actually talk about anything.

142
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:21,901
We talk all the time. He crank calls
me at work, like, three times a week.

143
00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:23,944
Crank calls don't count.
Counts for fun.

144
00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:27,906
No, honestly, I think that you should
find out what's going on with your dad.

145
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:31,952
It's going to be nothing.
My dad isn't like your dad.

146
00:07:32,036 --> 00:07:34,121
There's nothing
deep and dark inside.

147
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:37,583
His hard candy shell
is just hiding more candy.

148
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:41,670
[Scout barks] — I think he
wants to go out. Good boy.

149
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:46,216
Smart dog. I hate to break it to
you, but I think all dogs can do that.

150
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:47,801
I'm gonna play outside.

151
00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:50,429
[ Crash ] _ ovv/

152
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,474
uh! What happened?

153
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:55,476
[ Cameron] Okay

154
00:07:55,559 --> 00:07:57,895
should I just play
a little something?

155
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:01,357
Yeah. But, you know, if it
doesn't work out, don't feel bad.

156
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:05,569
Well, hopefully this is—
This is like riding a bicycle,

157
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:08,072
and it'll all come back to me.

158
00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,824
U' [bass drum]
That's the loud one.

159
00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:13,911
So... here we go.

160
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,136
Hmm.

161
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,263
Oh, silly me.

162
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,849
I had the sticks
in the wrong hands.

163
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,827
Wow.

164
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:57,996
Dude, you should
label those sticks.

165
00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,665
[ Clicks tongue]

166
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,000
[ Doorbell ringing ]

167
00:09:02,084 --> 00:09:04,086
[ Ringing continues]

168
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,797
Is that the alarm? Has our
perimeter been breached?

169
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,508
It's not the alarm.
The doorbell won't stop ringing.

170
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:11,468
Maybe a demon is
ringing it. Not a demon.

171
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,722
Lay! Who keeps ringing
the doorbell?

172
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:17,558
We're pretty sure it's
a demon. Oh, yeah?

173
00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,351
[ Ringing stops]
[ Grunts ] There.

174
00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:21,395
If it were a demon,
it would keep on ringing.

175
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:24,690
Not if he's already inside.
I'm getting a weapon.

176
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:27,025
What were you thinking?

177
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:30,154
Who takes a little boy to a
horror movie? That's loco, Jay.

178
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,322
This is no big deal.
You want scary?

179
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:35,534
When I was his age, I lived
through the Cuban missile crisis.

180
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,745
I slept with a butter knife
under my pillow...

181
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:40,372
In case I had to fight
some Soviet colonel.

182
00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:43,584
Why would they send a
Soviet colonel to get a little boy?

183
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,253
Because I could identify
every commie plane.

184
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,464
What are we talking about?

185
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:50,787
Look, all I'm saying, being
scared is part of growing up.

186
00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:54,887
Manny will get over this.
It builds character.

187
00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:59,099
I'll take the first watch. You
two might as well get some rest.

188
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:01,435
It's gonna be a long night.

189
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:05,314
Character.

190
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,233
Dad?

191
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,611
Hey! Come on in! It's open!

192
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:13,071
Ah, don't tell me.
You need a cup of sugar.

193
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:15,908
[ Chuckles ] Nah. Just, uh...

194
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:20,120
I was just wondering,
I don't know, uh...

195
00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:21,872
Anything on the old noodle?

196
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,584
Other than a bad toupee? I'm
kidding, of course. This is my real hair.

197
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:29,129
Well, okay. Wait a minute. I
want to ask you something.

198
00:10:29,213 --> 00:10:32,508
Am I putting you in a bad
position with this whole dog thing?

199
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:35,719
Claire seemed a little put out.
Oh, don't worry about it.

200
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:40,349
Claire didn't like me at first either.
I can't blame her. Dismissed!

201
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:44,645
[Chuckles]
Oh, dad, um, you know what? I, uh...

202
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:48,982
Claire saw something, and
she'd kill me if I— if I didn't ask.

203
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:51,568
What is it?

204
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:58,408
Would you wear pants to
breakfast, for crying out loud?

205
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:01,411
You got me again. Right
in the funny bone. All right.

206
00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:03,539
Come on, scout. Let go of it.
[Growling]

207
00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,791
No, no, no! Oh!

208
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:08,001
Dog. Look at this.

209
00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:10,337
How did he get
a hold of your bra?

210
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,507
Well, uh, we were out on a date,
and he has a really nice car, so...

211
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,968
How do you think?
He got it out of the laundry basket.

212
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,262
Can't take my eyes
off that dog for a second.

213
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,806
- — Why don't you just keep him in the crate?
- I tried that.

214
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,976
He figured out how to get out. I
thought you were dealing with your dad.

215
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,019
Oh, yeah, I did. He's fine, so...

216
00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:29,481
Whoa! You got that from
a two-minute conversation?

217
00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:34,611
I... asked him point-blank if he
was okay. He said he was. So I just...

218
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:37,906
Just swapped some jokes
and moved on.

219
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:40,367
Phil, the man needs more
of a push than that.

220
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:44,454
Look, if he wants to
talk to me about it, he will.

221
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,415
Geez, someone's panties
are in a bunch.

222
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,251
I thought I was showing
concern and— no. Right there.

223
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:52,379
Oh, my god! That damn dog!

224
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:55,215
Guys, little help?

225
00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:58,677
I have to go to the bathroom,
and I'm not gonna do it in here.

226
00:12:01,138 --> 00:12:04,850
,/', r [ Drumming ]

227
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:10,939
- — Hey, I got Chinese.
- Sweet! I'm starving.

228
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:15,277
Oh, we have guests. — yeah. Hey.
We're just having a little jam session.

229
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,322
You know Dylan.
This is ora/g. This is Neil.

230
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,741
I'll always remember him
as the stranger holding my baby.

231
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:23,285
Can I talk to you
in the kitchen for a second?

232
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:26,622
Yeah. Hey, guys, let's, uh—
Let's just take five.

233
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:28,749
What's up with 27 jump street?

234
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:31,919
Oh, well, their drummer quit and
I'm gonna fill in for him tomorrow night.

235
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:35,130
No, no. We have pepper's apres—ski
fondue party tomorrow night, cam.

236
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,132
Oh, no.

237
00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:40,236
So you'll just have to tell your band that
they're gonna have to find someone else.

238
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:43,260
You know what? No. I'm not gonna let
these fellas down. I made a commitment.

239
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:45,265
You made two commitments, okay?

240
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,768
And you know how pepper is.
Everything has to be perfect.

241
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,978
He gets mad if you
don't wear a big sweater.

242
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,303
Yeah, I remember. I got so hot last year,
I almost went face down in the gruyere.

243
00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:55,359
So I'm going by myself,
is that what you're saying?

244
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,111
[ Exhales ]
I just feel like I kind of need this.

245
00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,906
To round out
your college applications?

246
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:03,617
It's just that because
I'm always home with Lily...

247
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,953
I just feel like I'm going
a little bit stir-crazy.

248
00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,916
Look at the den. Every time I
finish painting it, I start all over again.

249
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,792
It's like the golden gate bridge.

250
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,419
I'm gonna go back to jamming.

251
00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,758
[ Grunts, screams ]

252
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:23,720
Yeah, we gotta fix this. Ay-

253
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:31,895
,/', /' [ Speakers: Rock]
[ Chattering ]

254
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:36,608
Hey, what's with the big sweater
at a concert? Is that a gay thing?

255
00:13:36,692 --> 00:13:40,278
No, dad. It's for my friend
pepper's apres-ski fondue...

256
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,739
Yeah. Yeah, it's a gay thing.

257
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:45,951
Hope they start soon. I don't
think scout likes to be left alone.

258
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,496
You love the dog.

259
00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:51,790
No, I don't love the dog.
I love my couch.

260
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:54,835
And the dog was looking at it
like it was a giant sausage.

261
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:57,087
Good news, you two.
You're getting your driveway back.

262
00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:59,756
I'm hitting the open road in
the morning. Oh, already?

263
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:01,758
Yeah. Anxious to get
home and see mom, huh?

264
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,820
No, I'm just gonna drive
wherever the wind blows me,

265
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,554
which is usually
into the next Lane.

266
00:14:05,637 --> 00:14:07,556
[Alex] Can we get
some sodas, grandpa?

267
00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:09,975
Okay, but just one. I'm driving.
Come on. [Alex chuckles ]

268
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:16,148
He's not going home? He's never been away from
my mom for longer than a doctor's appointment.

269
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,150
Honey, I know. I told you.

270
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:20,545
I always felt bad for people
with emotionally distant fathers.

271
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:22,029
It turns out I'm one of 'em.

272
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:25,407
It's a miracle
I didn't end up a stripper.

273
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,409
Hey. Thanks, everybody,
for coming out.

274
00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:29,453
These are some songs we wrote.

275
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,831
One, two. One, two, three.

276
00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:37,461
J“ baby, don't leave me
I just want you to know j'

277
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,713
j / want you to know, r

278
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:43,675
,/' there is something inside me
that / cannot control, /'

279
00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:45,635
,/' / cannot control j

280
00:14:45,761 --> 00:14:48,513
our boyfriends totally rock!
I know, right?

281
00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,616
,/' / heard you scream/n ' my name
I'm goin ' insane, r

282
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,350
well, the plan was...

283
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:55,353
To watch him for 10 minutes
and then run out to pepper's party.

284
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:58,190
J' coursing through my veins 9

285
00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:01,276
but he was so great up there.

286
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,944
How—how could I leave?

287
00:15:03,028 --> 00:15:07,407
, /' afraid but don't
be afraidj - whoo-hoo!

288
00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:09,576
J“ I'll be your vampire, I'

289
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,161
it was his moment.

290
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,455
J~com - wow! E on £

291
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,373
I know!

292
00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:18,710
33 [drum solo]

293
00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:32,682
And his moment went on
for a really, really long time.

294
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:40,107
Ar [ Continues ]

295
00:15:43,944 --> 00:15:45,445
[ Drumstick clatters ]

296
00:15:48,490 --> 00:15:53,954
Turns out I could have run to the party
and made it back for the end of his moment.

297
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:55,705
,/', /' [ends j

298
00:15:57,415 --> 00:16:00,418
Manny, go brush your teeth
and get ready for bed, okay?

299
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:03,880
Your bed. Can I watch TV?

300
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,466
Mmm, only 10 minutes. Okay.

301
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,930
We'll speak no more of it now.

302
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:17,853
[ Beeps ] Hey, Jay, it's Ben
dugan. I got your message.

303
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:20,605
Uh, yes, I'm happy to help
out. I'll swing by tonight.

304
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,984
What's that? That's Ben. That's
the guy who was in the movie.

305
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:28,363
I figure when Manny sees him, sees how
nice he is, he'll realize it's all pretend.

306
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:33,201
[ No doorbell]

307
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,079
[ Gloria ] You think that will
work? [Jay] Guy's a sweetheart.

308
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:39,332
Manny's gonna spend two minutes with
him. He'll explain how the movie's made.

309
00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:43,378
He's even bringing his fake
machete. Thing's made of rubber.

310
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:50,343
- — You mean you wish to train here as a novice?
- [Knocking]

311
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:53,471
Hey, are you Manny?
I'm here for you.

312
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:55,640
Look what I got.

313
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,518
[ Screaming ]

314
00:16:58,602 --> 00:17:00,854
Mom, he's here!

315
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,748
. O ' '. ' 4 que Paso? É
oue Paso'? É ue Paso?

316
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,566
[ Manny crying ]

317
00:17:06,776 --> 00:17:09,070
We're gonna need a bigger bed!

318
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:10,655
[Knocking]

319
00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:12,824
[ Jay] Oh, geez.

320
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,162
Oh, my god! I think that's him.

321
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:19,998
Hey. You stayed. Yeah.

322
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:22,000
Well, you know,
I'm-I'm with the band.

323
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,211
I thought the gig was
a little sloppy in spots,

324
00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,463
but I think once
I learn all the songs...

325
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,342
I thought— I thought
this was a one-time thing?

326
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:32,219
Are you kidding?
We destroyed in there.

327
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:34,221
Did you hear that one lady
screaming my name?

328
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:37,390
That was Phil.
He had a red bull.

329
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:40,060
Hey, guys. Good gig, huh?

330
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,687
- — Yeah. Totally awesome, man.
- Heck of a gig.

331
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:46,441
Hey, guys. Hey. I thought
you were in Portland.

332
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:49,152
No. My parents broke up again.

333
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:51,571
I'm not moving.
I can stay in the band.

334
00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:55,659
[ Chuckles ]
Well, this is awkward.

335
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:59,412
Cam. Uh...

336
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,500
Oh, awkward for me.

337
00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:10,215
Good luck following that, Ringo.

338
00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:15,262
I believe this belongs to you.

339
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,014
I don't want to drag the house
along with me. [ Chuckles ]

340
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,808
Come here, you little monkeys.

341
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,393
Bye, grandpa. We'll miss you.

342
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:22,894
I wish I could take you with me.

343
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,397
[Alex] Drive safe,
grandpa. Oh, |'|| try.

344
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,280
You sure you don't want to
stay for breakfast?

345
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:30,151
No, I ought to be
hitting the road.

346
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,737
Well, adios.

347
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,364
Daihddml hmm?

348
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,366
Can I talk to you
for a second? Sure.

349
00:18:37,409 --> 00:18:39,119
[Whispers ] Guys. Come on.

350
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:43,581
I don't think you're
being honest with me.

351
00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:46,418
I— I know something
is going on with you.

352
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,379
What's up?

353
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:53,383
Something up? Well, my
boxers are, uh, riding a little high.

354
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,861
I'm not in the mood forjokes
right now, although you nailed that.

355
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,345
Thanks. Gmmswfi

356
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:59,431
thanks.

357
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:04,519
It's nothing. Oh, it's nothing?

358
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,439
Nothing to do with mom? No!

359
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:13,486
Well, yeah. I've fallen in love.

360
00:19:13,570 --> 00:19:15,280
Oh, my god.

361
00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:17,782
Who is she? He!

362
00:19:17,866 --> 00:19:19,659
What?

363
00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:22,495
It's that little guy
right over there.

364
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:24,414
Come on over here. Come on.

365
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:27,542
Come on. There you go.
Ah, look at him.

366
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,502
Driving across country,

367
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:33,423
this little bastard nuzzled his
way right into my heart, didn't ya?

368
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:37,344
So this is just about you not wanting to
leave the dog? Well, you should tell mom.

369
00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:40,180
Those three days on the road
with him were the happiest of my life.

370
00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:42,223
You should leave that part out.

371
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:45,310
I don't want to keep scout
if it makes grandpa sad.

372
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:50,106
Yeah, I know, sweetie. But grandma has
allergies, so scout has to stay with us.

373
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,942
Well, she could always
just get some allergy shots.

374
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:55,028
Honey, you don't want to
put her through that.

375
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,906
Hell, back in the day,
I got a vasectomy for her.

376
00:19:57,989 --> 00:20:00,867
Dad. Dad. Please.

377
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:02,869
Scout's— scout's your dog.

378
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,954
He should go with you.

379
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:11,127
Okay, you twisted my arm.
[ Chuckles ]

380
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:15,215
Thanks, son. Thanks for
poking through the armor.

381
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:17,384
You're poking through the
armor down there. What?

382
00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,260
Made you look. [Laughs]

383
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,012
You are a treasure.

384
00:20:21,096 --> 00:20:23,181
Come on, scout. Let's mosey.

385
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:24,974
Oh, oh, oh! Oh, wait.

386
00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:29,896
He loves that, yeah.
Oh, I bet he does.

387
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:33,566
No, scout. This time / drive.

388
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:36,569
You still got it!

389
00:20:36,653 --> 00:20:38,154
I can't believe I'm saying this,

390
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:41,116
but I think I might have actually
gotten even closer with my dad.

391
00:20:43,118 --> 00:20:45,829
I can't believe he took my dog.

392
00:20:45,954 --> 00:20:47,831
Bye—bye. Bye, grandpa! Love you!

393
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,374
Bye, dad.

394
00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,001
Bye, grandpa! I/o ve
you! [Phil] Luke, stay!

395
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:54,045
Luke, stay! Come back
soon! I'll see you later!

396
00:20:54,129 --> 00:20:55,255
Luke, stay!

397
00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:56,965
Luke! Stay!

398
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:02,178
,/', /' [ Speakers: Rock ]
Frank.

399
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,055
Hey, Jay. Good to see you.

400
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:06,724
Great to see you.
Didn't expect to find you here.

401
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:11,062
Well, listen, when my granddaughter's
boyfriend's band plays an under-21 club...

402
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:14,482
With my daughter-in-law's
brother's gay partner, I show up.

403
00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:16,401
That's just how I was raised.

404
00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:19,279
I don't think you met
my wife, Gloria. Ho/a.

405
00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:22,657
Oh, it's a pleasure.
You are a lovely woman.

406
00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:25,493
You must be frank. Okay, then,

407
00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:29,747
you are hotter than a Las Vegas
sidewalk on the fourth of July.

408
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:32,000
Did I go too far?
Not you, frank. No.

409
00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:37,839
English - us — psdh