1 00:00:05,256 --> 00:00:07,800 Morning. Hey. 2 00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:12,054 You sleep all right? No. You? 3 00:00:12,138 --> 00:00:13,639 Say no, Phil. 4 00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:15,808 Of course, no. I missed you up there. 5 00:00:15,892 --> 00:00:20,021 - — Last night— I know I got kind of carried away. - You don't need to apologize. 6 00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:22,982 - — I don't think that I was apologi— - You were right to be mad. 7 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:27,236 [ Sighs] Sometimes I just feel like I have to scream... 8 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,113 To let you know how upset I am. 9 00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:32,700 - — But you get it now, right? - I... do... 10 00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:36,662 Not. No idea whatsoever. 11 00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:40,249 Oh, if I knew. But no. 12 00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:41,500 Good. 13 00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:44,003 So let's pretend the whole thing never happened. 14 00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:47,048 What were we even fighting about, huh? 15 00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:51,260 What the heck happened in here? 16 00:00:51,344 --> 00:00:53,387 The raccoon get through the dog door again? 17 00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:55,014 Yep. The raccoon got in, 18 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,808 and your mom fought it off with the fire extinguisher. 19 00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,728 You're a mess. Are you okay? 20 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,189 Careful, buddy. Not today. 21 00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:06,442 If iflnkyoulookbeauflflm saveit 22 00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:10,071 one time I forgot to get Gloria a birthday present, and I paid for it. 23 00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:12,573 Another time I remembered, but she didn't like the gift. 24 00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:14,450 I paid for that. 25 00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:18,704 So you'd think when I remember to buy her a gift, and she loves it, 26 00:01:18,788 --> 00:01:20,831 I wouldn't have to pay for it, right? 27 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:28,673 J“ just call me angel of the morning, angel 3 28 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:33,636 j“ touch my cheeks before you leave me, baby 3 29 00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:35,179 [ garbage disposal whirring ] 30 00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:39,558 J' call me angel of the morning j' [ Clattering ] 31 00:01:39,642 --> 00:01:41,560 3 yeah j'j' 32 00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:44,188 ,/' hey, heyj 33 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:46,148 ,/' hey, heyj 34 00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:48,317 ,/' hey, heyj 35 00:01:48,401 --> 00:01:50,319 ,/' hey, heyj 36 00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:51,570 j“ hey if 37 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:57,535 oh. Hey, good. Grab the other end of this and help me get it out of here. 38 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,846 - — I have to start setting up for tonight. - Tonight? What's tonight? 39 00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:03,833 Are you kidding me? This is what I'm talking about, Mitchell. You never listen when I... 40 00:02:03,916 --> 00:02:06,812 It's a fund—raiser for the friends of the third street overpass music society. 41 00:02:06,836 --> 00:02:09,130 Two harpists are performing. You're anxious 'cause Andrew, 42 00:02:09,213 --> 00:02:11,441 your Nemesis from the steering committee, ran the event last year, 43 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:12,967 and you want to upstage him. 44 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,593 - I was kidding. - Ha. 45 00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:18,639 Cam has it in his head that I don't listen to him, but I do. 46 00:02:18,723 --> 00:02:21,517 Do you, Mitchell? Do you? 47 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,604 The doctor called and said Lily's rash is just dry skin. I'm so relieved. 48 00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:27,189 What did I just say? 49 00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:30,651 You act like you listen to every single thing that I say, but you don't. 50 00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:32,069 Don't I, Mitchell? 51 00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:35,072 I'm going to the store. Do you need me to pick anything up? 52 00:02:35,156 --> 00:02:38,826 [Slurred words, indistinct] 53 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:43,164 Razor blades, saline solution, black socks, and the new issue of van/z'yfa/r. 54 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,875 Wow. I don't even remember asking for all that. Thank you. 55 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,961 Don't I? 56 00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:50,338 [Tool whirring ] 57 00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:52,006 How'd this thing come off anyway? 58 00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:54,467 Well, I was cooking dinner and— right. 59 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,927 [ Clears throat] And the raccoon just walked in the... 60 00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:59,180 And I already had the door open. Right. 61 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:00,863 I had already had a hold of the handle... 62 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,434 Why don't you two go work on your story and come back? 63 00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:04,977 Okay. Okay. 64 00:03:05,061 --> 00:03:08,064 I won't be home till late. I have another shift at the restaurant. 65 00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:10,316 That's our workin' girl. Let the river run, honey. 66 00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:14,904 Check it. $57 in tips from last night. Holler! 67 00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:19,450 Honey, that's impressive. You know what? Fifty-seven from you, 57 from us. 68 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:23,287 - — Keep this up, we are going to be buying you a car by the summer. - [ Squeals, giggles] 69 00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:26,582 - — Mom, is this upscale casual? - What? 70 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:29,105 Oh, yeah. Cam hired Luke to help out with the benefit tonight. 71 00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:31,295 You know what? I can't fix this thing. 72 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:33,172 What? I need that. I use it every day. 73 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,716 Okay, Phil. You wanna take a trip to the mall with me? 74 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,096 Not. If I can possibly avoid it. 75 00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:43,516 Claire has this little habit... 76 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,893 At the mall where sh... 77 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,520 I can't even talk about it. 78 00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:49,438 Jay, come on. 79 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,733 I wanna go home because you said you were going to film me doing the karaoke... 80 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,902 So I can send it to Colombia to my mother. 81 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:56,445 Claire, um, about the mall... 82 00:03:56,529 --> 00:03:59,089 I was actually gonna run out and get my haircut this afternoon... 83 00:03:59,115 --> 00:04:02,827 Hang on here. Why don't I run Claire down to the mall and you give Phil a haircut? 84 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,913 You're always talking about how you miss working at the salon. 85 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,999 I guess I could. I do Jay. Why can't I do you? 86 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,043 You— you can do me. 87 00:04:11,127 --> 00:04:15,005 Okay. Let's get this party started. You know that song? 88 00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:17,133 J' let's j' hey, let's go! Let's go! Wastin' time. 89 00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:18,467 Okay. Yeah. 90 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,886 [J] [Humming melody] You know it? I think I do. 91 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:25,015 [ Giggles ] So that was Andrew, who practically choked telling me... 92 00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:28,394 That no one had called in their regrets for the event tonight. 93 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:31,105 It is gonna be a full house! That must feel great. 94 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:36,485 Oh, I never thought I would enjoy having an archenemy. But I do, Mitchell. I do. 95 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,422 [Cameron chuckling ] Hey, Lily. What you got there? 96 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:41,490 I do feel bad for those peta folks. Their event's tonight too. 97 00:04:41,574 --> 00:04:44,535 That's why I had you mail the invitations so long ago. 98 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,788 I shouldn't laugh. I do feel bad for those little peta animals. 99 00:04:47,872 --> 00:04:49,457 I really do. 100 00:04:49,582 --> 00:04:52,710 What are you doing? Nothing. She was, uh— she was sucking her thumb again. 101 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:56,630 Yes, I put cam's invites in my car to take 'em to the post office... 102 00:04:56,714 --> 00:05:00,134 And then threw my gym bag on top of them and completely forgot they existed. 103 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,637 [ Sighs ] I feel terrible. 104 00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:06,599 Haven't been to the gym in six weeks. 105 00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:09,101 And I ruined cam's event. 106 00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:14,166 [Shower running] [ Mitchell I hello, miss hartwick. 107 00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:18,194 Uh, cam and I are hosting a little event tonight and... 108 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:21,322 Yes. Yes. No. I-I am aware that there's also a peta event, and... 109 00:05:21,405 --> 00:05:23,741 - — [ Groans ] - Who are you talking to? 110 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,534 I'm in the shower! 111 00:05:25,618 --> 00:05:28,078 [ Sighs] Luke, how are those chairs coming? Come in. 112 00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:29,788 I think you should come in. Come in. 113 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,790 Oh, now I'm worried about the flow. 114 00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:34,668 The eye should go to the harps, not the backs of chairs. 115 00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:37,755 Are you gonna get upset and start eating all the appetizers again? 116 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,716 It is amazing what you notice and what you don't notice. 117 00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,511 - [ Doorbell rings] - Please handle that. I need to think. 118 00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,262 Come on, Luke. 119 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,016 Hi there. Is your father home? 120 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,268 I think so. Why? 121 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:54,230 Oh, oh, the wait staff. Please, Luke, show them to the kitchen, please. 122 00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:58,567 - Knock, knock? - Oh, hello, Andrew. 123 00:05:58,651 --> 00:06:00,361 Nice chair backs. 124 00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:04,031 I just thought you could use this. It's the sign—in book from my event last year. 125 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:07,368 Let me just turn to the blank pages which should be... 126 00:06:07,451 --> 00:06:09,578 Oh! No, it's full. 127 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:13,183 Oh, well, thank you for thinking of us. But shouldn't you be getting back home to Donald? 128 00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,251 That is the name of your cat, isn't it? 129 00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:17,795 - — I'll see you at 7:00. - Drive safely. 130 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,924 [ Door closes ] [Sighs] 131 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:25,594 What did I tell you? She's even worse than you said. 132 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,681 Hold still. 133 00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:32,059 You can't move like that. It's like cutting the hair of a cuckoo bird. 134 00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,770 I'm sorry. I'm just a little tense today. 135 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:36,564 I knew it. Something happened. 136 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:40,776 Because when somebody works in a salon, they know when someone needs to talk. 137 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:43,070 Actually you might be able to help me with this one. 138 00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:46,782 Claire and I got into a huge fight last night, and I'm not even sure what it was about. 139 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:49,285 Was that why you didn't want to go to the mall with her? 140 00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:54,081 No. That was more about a weird mall habit Claire has. 141 00:06:54,164 --> 00:06:56,584 Oh, my god, that's good. Oh, oh. 142 00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,168 Go low, go low, go low, go low. 143 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,296 Oh! Oh! Oh, my god. 144 00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:03,090 Dad— dad, you've gotta get one of these. 145 00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:07,219 Oh— [moaning] 146 00:07:07,303 --> 00:07:09,555 It is impressive how much Haley's earning. 147 00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,266 She has over $500 already. That's a lot of cheddar. 148 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:15,352 Why is everyone acting like she's the first 17—year—old to have a job? 149 00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:17,998 In other cultures she'd have two kids already and they'd have jobs. 150 00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:21,233 You know, I stopped by the restaurant a couple times and she wasn't there. 151 00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:23,444 When? Uh, I don't remember. 152 00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:26,280 I was at the mall for a movie. Think! I need details. 153 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:29,617 Okay. It was a romantic comedy my now ex—friend Reuben recommended... 154 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:31,285 Not about the movie. What day? Focus! 155 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,287 Okay. Uh, it was Tuesday. 156 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:36,582 But I also ate there again on Saturday, and she wasn't there then either. 157 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:41,337 Oh, my god. I bet she doesn't even work there. 158 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:42,980 Then where's all this money coming from? 159 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:46,175 Do you notice how every single night is just under $60? 160 00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:50,596 Grandpa gave her $60 for her birthday. She's just hangin' around the mall all day... 161 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:54,642 Flashing the same cash every night and fooling my parents into buying her a car. 162 00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:57,603 Hey, dad? Can we eat at Haley's restaurant tonight? 163 00:07:57,728 --> 00:08:00,731 [ Phil ] Hey, there's a good idea. Great, I'll text her. 164 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:04,902 Oh, god, no. 165 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,820 [Claire] Oh, god, yes! 166 00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:09,490 Oh! Oh, god, yes. 167 00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:13,744 Oh, get after it. Oh, amazing. 168 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:16,789 I'm going for 15 more— I think you got what you needed from that. 169 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:18,457 Oh, okay. Thank you. 170 00:08:21,085 --> 00:08:24,546 You know, maybe you do need to talk about this fight. With Phil? 171 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,757 How could you not know what she was mad about? 172 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,301 Because she didn't tell me. She just freaked out. 173 00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:31,637 I cannot believe you, Phil! 174 00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:34,473 How could you? [ Groans I what is happening? 175 00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,517 What— what did I do? Are you serious? 176 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,603 You are. You don't know. We've had this conversation a hundred times. 177 00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:44,233 You know, no. No. I'm not— I'm not doing this again. You tell me what you did. 178 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,986 - — W—was it— - “was it”... 179 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,155 - _ ah— - “ah”— no, Phil. 180 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:51,740 No, no, no, no. 181 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,867 No! I'm going to get some air. Claire. Claire! 182 00:08:53,951 --> 00:08:56,203 No, don't follow me. 183 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,706 Happy “valenbirthaversary”! 184 00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:01,083 Stormin' off. Right out of your mom's playbook. 185 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:02,334 Hmm. 186 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:06,630 Where'd you go? Well, as it turns out, not very far. 187 00:09:08,424 --> 00:09:10,718 [ Fabric tears ] 188 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,095 Oh, my god. Damn it. 189 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,946 [Clattering, bell jingling] 190 00:09:33,866 --> 00:09:35,659 [ Metal clatters ] 191 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:52,551 Phil! Phil, you moron! Stop it! 192 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,553 Oh! I'm sorry! It's me, you idiot! 193 00:09:54,678 --> 00:09:56,555 What are you doing? I'm sorry. 194 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,433 I thought you were a raccoon. You thought I was a raccoon! 195 00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:01,226 Because people look so much like raccoons. 196 00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:03,687 - Oh, look. There's one now. - No! 197 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,856 No! Help! 198 00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:12,488 Wait a minute. Not even crazy woman go crazy for no reason. 199 00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:15,616 What happened before the broccoli? It came out of the blue. 200 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:18,136 I walked in the door. We were having a conversation about nothing. 201 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,620 - Hey, honey. - Hi. 202 00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,872 Sorry I got stuck at the office. How was your day? 203 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,541 It was good. Oh, you know what? What? 204 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,085 Debbie stood me up for lunch. Rude, right? 205 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:28,712 No, she called. 206 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,756 I didn't get a message. Yeah. You did. 207 00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:35,677 I left you one. It's right... there. 208 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,262 Uh—huh. 209 00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:42,267 That's it! How is she supposed to see this? 210 00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,187 If you give me a message this tiny, I kill you. 211 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,648 But that's not when she got mad. 212 00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,983 Also, I talked to the insurance company... 213 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:52,736 About that little accident that “wasn't your fault”... 214 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,155 Because the brakes weren't “working right.” 215 00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:57,157 [Chuckling] 216 00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,886 That's not gonna cost us as much money as I thought. So that's good. 217 00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:04,832 That's it! You insult a woman's driving and you use the air bunnies. 218 00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:07,376 You do that to me and I kill you. 219 00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:11,255 I hear you. But the screaming still hadn't started yet. 220 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,132 So I'm having lunch with skip woosnum, right? 221 00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:17,386 Boy, can that guy go on and on. Tangent after tangent. 222 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:21,473 By the way, he turned me on to the greatest thing— wedge salad. You gotta try it. 223 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:25,477 Anyhoo, guess who's sitting at the table next to us. 224 00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:29,481 My old girlfriend Carla. Yeah. We're gonna grab coffee. 225 00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:31,066 She's lost a ton of weight. 226 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,277 How stupid are you? 227 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,029 You tell me that you're seeing an old girlfriend and I... 228 00:11:36,113 --> 00:11:39,199 Kill me, I know. But she still hadn't snapped yet. 229 00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:43,078 I almost forgot. I picked up the broccoli you asked for. 230 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,207 Cauliflower. Can't believe I did that again. 231 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:49,835 I cannot believe you, Phil! 232 00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:54,047 You didn't do one thing wrong. You do everything wrong! 233 00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:56,425 I don't even know why she talks to you. 234 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,051 She said she was okay. 235 00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:00,637 No. No woman is okay with this. 236 00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:02,431 We don't forget. 237 00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:07,603 We wait. And then, when you least expect it, we make you pay. 238 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,521 Chin up. [ Groans ] 239 00:12:09,605 --> 00:12:11,315 Up! 240 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,775 - — So you had a meltdown over that? - I did. 241 00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:18,405 Because ever since I met him, I've been trying to get Phil to try a wedge salad. 242 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:22,743 The minute that skip woosnum— Whom he doesn't even like— suggests it, 243 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:24,953 Phil thinks it's the greatest thing ever. 244 00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:28,624 And he does this with everything. He does it with books, with movies, with TV. 245 00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:33,003 He listens to everybody's opinion but mine, and it drives me crazy. 246 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:34,546 You two seemed fine this morning. 247 00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,590 Well, we were because we talked about it. 248 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:39,873 Which, by the way, if you want this whole karaoke thing with Gloria to go away... 249 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,407 - — That's what you need to do. - That's easier said than done. 250 00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:46,016 Oh, since when do you shy away from confrontation? 251 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,977 Mr. Tough talk. Mr. Straight shooter. 252 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:51,897 Gettin' a little soft, grandpa? 253 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:55,484 You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute. 254 00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:02,282 [ Phone ringing] Luke, phone. 255 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:10,165 Friends of the third street— is that Mitchell? What's taking him? 256 00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:12,459 No, it's not Mitchell. It's... 257 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:15,379 I don't understand his name. Hello? 258 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,547 Oh, hi, longinus. Listen. Did you get my message? 259 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:21,551 About the chiavari chairs—! Want you to bring 'em when you come. 260 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:24,429 What do you mean, you're not— not coming? 261 00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:27,975 Well, that's not possible. Mitch— Mitch mailed them weeks ago. 262 00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,518 What about pepper? Did he get his? 263 00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,687 And I'Michael? 264 00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,563 And Steven and Stefan? 265 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,190 And Bob? 266 00:13:35,273 --> 00:13:37,317 I have to go. [ Phone beeps ] 267 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:38,944 Get me your uncle Mitchell. 268 00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,821 I don't know his number. 269 00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:43,198 [ Beeping ] 270 00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:47,494 It went to voice mail. Of course it did. 271 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:49,705 Keep trying him until you get him. 272 00:13:50,706 --> 00:13:53,709 [Beeps] It's one button. Redial. 273 00:13:57,713 --> 00:14:00,007 Really great event tonight benefiting the music society. 274 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,175 Musicians like you. 275 00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:03,635 Okay. 276 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:06,888 [Cell phone rings] 277 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:10,392 - [ Sighs] Hey. - Uncle cam for uncle Mitchell. 278 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,019 How could you, Mitchell? Honestly! 279 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:14,896 Give me that. You wanna hear the guest list for tonight? 280 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:17,691 So far it's anger, betrayal, terror and sadness! 281 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:19,901 Congratulations, Mitchell! You packed the house. 282 00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:23,697 Cam, I am so sorry. I'm— I'm gonna fix it. I'll make a big donation. 283 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:26,620 That's not gonna keep them from kicking me off the steering committee... 284 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:30,912 When Andrew walks in here and sees a room full of empty chairs! 285 00:14:30,996 --> 00:14:33,999 You know he's not really your archenemy. That's sort of a made-up thing. 286 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,584 Fix it! 287 00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:42,132 [ Haley] Hi. You came! Hi. Of course, we did. 288 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,217 We wanted to see you work. Oh. 289 00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:46,219 We're so proud of you, sweetheart. [ Groans ] 290 00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,513 Yeah, we're all proud. So, where's our table? 291 00:14:48,597 --> 00:14:50,432 [ Sighs ] Actually, bad news. 292 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,977 We're totally booked. We have a ton of reservations. 293 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,188 Yeah, one's ours. I called. 294 00:14:57,314 --> 00:14:59,483 - Here it is. - Hey. 295 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,402 Uh, so your table is right here. 296 00:15:02,486 --> 00:15:04,780 Oh, honey, would you mind getting us a couple drinks? 297 00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:07,824 - — I would love an iced tea. - Same, please. 298 00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:11,453 I'll have a mango—kiwi smoothie, yogurt instead of ice cream, and make it low-fat. 299 00:15:11,536 --> 00:15:14,581 I wanna look good when I'm riding in your new car. 300 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:16,917 Honey, I gotta say, I like this haircut. 301 00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:19,961 Hey, we're all just playing for second in this family. Hmm. 302 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,299 Were you all done here? A-Actually, no. 303 00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:28,804 Um, I will have more iced tea, another iced tea... 304 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:32,182 And a mango—kiwi smoothie, all ice cream. 305 00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,768 I'm pregnant. 306 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,146 Well, this is nice. 307 00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:42,442 Me, my gals and my beautiful, beautiful wife. 308 00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,319 Just so you know, I rescheduled with Carla. 309 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:47,781 I penciled her in for the 12th... of never. [ Chuckles] 310 00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:51,034 That's too bad. I was kind of looking forward to hearing about that one. 311 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,162 Oh. By the way, 312 00:15:54,246 --> 00:15:56,414 no one called for you while you were out. 313 00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:58,658 Thank you. — I wanna make sure you get any messages... 314 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:01,711 From any friends that might call, which none of them did. 315 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:05,674 Isn't it weird that Haley's the only one here not wearing a name tag? 316 00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,093 If your mother had a name tag, it would say “good driver.” 317 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,637 - Phil— - Here you go. 318 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,140 - — I wanna hear the specials. - Uh, we're out of specials. 319 00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,142 - — What were they? - Popular. 320 00:16:15,225 --> 00:16:17,602 Which you wouldn't understand. 321 00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:20,272 Well, what could be better than drinks with a beautiful woman? 322 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:23,692 And every beautiful woman deserves flowers... 323 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,694 Cauliflowers. 324 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:28,363 [ Inhales ] Okay. What's going on? Is this about last night? 325 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:30,490 I want you to know how important to me you are. 326 00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:32,075 Sweetie, I know that. I know that. 327 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,953 I still feel bad about, you know, 328 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:38,206 what I did. 329 00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:41,084 Listen to me. You and I are fine. 330 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:44,337 Okay? I'm just really hungry. [ Chuckles ] 331 00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:46,965 Okay? Okay. 332 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,717 - Okay. - [ Chuckles ] 333 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:52,512 - — All right. What looks good? - Oh, gosh. 334 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:55,015 Ooh, here's something that jumps right off the page. Uh-huh. 335 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,538 I tried this yesterday, thanks to my good friend skip woosnum. 336 00:16:57,601 --> 00:17:01,771 Claire, do yourself a favor and join me... 337 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,940 In a wedge salad. 338 00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:06,484 You have got to be kidding me! 339 00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,528 Just try it. You will thank me. 340 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:10,780 Did you learn nothing from last night? 341 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,200 - — Whoa. - It was about the salad? 342 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,076 I have been recommending wedge salads to you, 343 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,705 amongst other things, for years, and you never listen to me. 344 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:22,292 And then some idiot suggests it, and you can't wait to try a wedge salad? 345 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,962 It makes me feel like I don't matter. 346 00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:33,053 Thanks a lot, dad. Mom's little outburst just got me fired. 347 00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,306 Okay. I gotta talk to your mom. You comfort your sister. 348 00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,601 She never worked here! 349 00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:46,733 So Mitchell called you too. Mm-hmm. 350 00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:51,613 J'j' [vocalizing ] 351 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,783 I take it you haven't had your conversation with Gloria yet? 352 00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:57,118 It's gettin' worse. She sang all the way here. 353 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:59,639 We passed two cars— the dogs stuck their heads back inside the window. 354 00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:01,289 Wow. 355 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:06,628 - — What are we gonna do? - I could start a fire. 356 00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,129 No. 357 00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:09,714 Well, keep that in your back pocket. 358 00:18:10,632 --> 00:18:12,884 Hey. Hey. 359 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,970 I wanna show you something. Let me guess. 360 00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:17,639 It's a copy of the book thief that I begged you to read... 361 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:21,017 But you wouldn't until your dental hygienist said it changed her life. 362 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,271 Remember this? Uh-huh. 363 00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:26,815 It's the first Thanksgiving I spent with your family. 364 00:18:26,898 --> 00:18:28,692 God, I hated that ponytail. 365 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:32,737 I know. You said it made me look like a wimpy bouncer, so I cut it off. 366 00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:35,031 Just like I lost the feathered earring. 367 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,117 And the Van with the beanbag chairs. 368 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,077 And I changed my forestry major. 369 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,247 I get it, Phil. I get it. I am the controlling witch... 370 00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:45,583 That made you give up everything fun in your life. You're the witch who saved me. 371 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:49,421 Look. Look at this picture. Now look at this guy. 372 00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:52,340 You can't tell me your opinion doesn't matter. 373 00:18:52,424 --> 00:18:55,635 You've changed me for the better in a hundred different ways. 374 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:58,722 Yeah, I might miss a book or a salad here and there, 375 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:02,392 but... I've got Claire all over me. 376 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,186 You're about to. 377 00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:08,898 [ Microphone feedback] 378 00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:12,027 That's the worst sound in the world. Is it? 379 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,946 Friends, uh, family, uh, board members... 380 00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:17,574 Bored is right. 381 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:19,510 I know we were all looking forward to hearing... 382 00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:22,412 The beautiful stylings of harp attack, 383 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,123 but there has unfortunately been a slight... 384 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,292 - — Don't start yet. - Delay. 385 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:29,836 And the program will start in a few minutes, on time. 386 00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:33,006 Uh, so, please, everyone take their seats. Thank you. 387 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:36,217 Oh, my god. You did it. Sort of. 388 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:40,638 I know this isn't what you were hoping for, but I need to do a betterjob of listening to you. 389 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,349 No, you did the best you could. 390 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:46,770 Plus, this is double what Andrew had last year for cello submarine. Thank you. 391 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:49,814 How are you sitting at a harp and not scoring this moment? Ladies. 392 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,275 [Snaps fingers] 33 [ Soft] 393 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:02,786 [I Jay] You can't have a successful marriage without being a good listener. 394 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,871 Sometimes it takes a little work. 395 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:07,016 I just wonder what they're gonna do with their lives. 396 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,502 I just wonder how they can actually ever find their true calling with a harp. 397 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:13,129 [I Jay] Sometimes it takes a lot of work. 398 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,091 Harps. 399 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:20,220 And sometimes it's just excruciating. 400 00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:25,558 Jay, come. I worked out another song. Gloria. 401 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:28,561 - J' crazy j“ - Gloria. 402 00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:32,023 - J' crazy j'j' - no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 403 00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:35,276 I can't take it anymore! Okay, it's not singing, it's screaming. 404 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,362 Mom, I love you. But for the love of god, 405 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:40,073 destroy that thing before it destroys this family! 406 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,741 Coward. 407 00:20:43,952 --> 00:20:46,329 I think you sound great. But if it bothers the kid... 408 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:47,622 Coward! 409 00:21:00,844 --> 00:21:02,262 [Beeps] 410 00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:06,724 3 oh, Danny boy3 411 00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:10,186 3 the pipes the pipes are calling 3 412 00:21:11,104 --> 00:21:13,148 3 from Glen to Glen 3 413 00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:17,152 3 and down the mountainside 3 414 00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:19,863 3 the summer's gone 3 415 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:22,740 3 and all the roses— 33 n [ Stops] 416 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:27,704 You keep this up, and this won't be the last plug I pull. 417 00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:36,337 English - us - psdh