1 00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:07,133 Excuse me. I'm so sorry. 2 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,759 I never do this with celebrities, 3 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:12,805 but are you by any chance the foxy mom in the new horizon realty ad? 4 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:16,267 Am I gonna regret doing that? Did the Marlboro man have any regrets? 5 00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:18,936 This ad is perfect. 6 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:21,189 See, I'm not just selling houses, I'm selling myself, 7 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:23,608 and the best part about me is my family. 8 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,318 And my teeth. 9 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:30,156 Andbom are on display in this ad. [0mm]Mmm. 10 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,533 “I can't be satisfied until you're satisfied”? 11 00:00:32,617 --> 00:00:34,493 Coming soon to a bus bench near you. 12 00:00:34,619 --> 00:00:37,997 Not to mention our minivan. So that's really happening? 13 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,624 Wait, what's happening to our minivan? 14 00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,751 Having this bad boy shrink-wrapped on it. 15 00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:43,377 Yep. Classy. 16 00:00:43,461 --> 00:00:45,898 Now all that driving around your mom does will serve a purpose. 17 00:00:45,922 --> 00:00:47,506 Good morning, family. 18 00:00:47,632 --> 00:00:50,801 How are you all doing on this beautiful day? Okay, what's this? 19 00:00:50,927 --> 00:00:53,554 Haley's s.A.T. Scores are available online. I hate you. 20 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:57,350 [ Claire ] Oh. Today's the big day. Let's take a look, see how she did. 21 00:00:57,475 --> 00:00:59,786 [ Phil clears throat] Do we really have to look at them now? 22 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,729 Don't worry. We're not expecting any miracles. 23 00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:02,897 Thank you. 24 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,233 Are those Haley's scores? Are you sure? 25 00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:06,776 [ Haley] Are they bad? 26 00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,694 - — No. They're not bad. - Are they good? 27 00:01:08,778 --> 00:01:11,239 No, they're average. 28 00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:14,033 Sweetie, we did it. Our baby is average. 29 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:16,077 Oh memumfne 30 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,454 this is just a fluke. She can take them again. 31 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,015 Yeah, and she'll probably do even better. 32 00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,791 You are gonna have your choice... 33 00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:23,918 Of some pretty good colleges when the time comes. 34 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:26,504 - — If I go to college. - What? 35 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:31,259 I've been thinking about it lately, and I might not. 36 00:01:31,342 --> 00:01:32,802 Later. 37 00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:37,348 Well, we took the scenic route, but we ended up in the same place. 38 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,978 ,/' hey, heyj 39 00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:44,105 ,/' hey, heyj 40 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:46,190 ,/' hey, heyj 41 00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,150 ,/' hey, heyj 42 00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:49,402 j“ hey if 43 00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:55,324 j“ from Zimbabwe to Algeria come on, let me hear ya j' 44 00:01:55,408 --> 00:01:57,785 3 these are the countries these are the countries j' 45 00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:00,162 cam recently became Franklin middle school's... 46 00:02:00,246 --> 00:02:01,706 Interim musical director. 47 00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:03,958 Go, Franklin! [Chuckles] 48 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,585 I was volunteering for their spring musical festival... 49 00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:10,589 When their regular director suddenly and mysteriously became ill. 50 00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:12,383 [ Sneezes ] Oh, sorry. 51 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,928 It may have been a blessing. Their show lacked focus. 52 00:02:16,012 --> 00:02:19,974 I gave it a theme— A musical trip around the world. 53 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:23,894 Yeah, see, he focused it by making it about the world. 54 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:26,647 You don't like it. No, cam, I do. 55 00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:30,234 It's— do you think that the kids are gonna be able to learn it by tonight? 56 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,379 Maybe you should stick with something they already know. 57 00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:35,465 I knew this would happen! Why do you have to throw a wet blanket on my dreams? 58 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,199 I do not. You do it all the time. 59 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:38,969 And you know what I end up with? Wet dreams! 60 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:41,078 I heard it as soon as I said it. Just leave it alone. 61 00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:43,664 All right. Well, cam, it's just that sometimes... 62 00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:46,917 You can be a little, you know, overenthusiastic. 63 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,353 Is it really that big of a deal... 64 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:50,314 That I want this to be the best show in the world? 65 00:02:50,338 --> 00:02:51,922 Well, as long as you heard me. 66 00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:54,842 Be in my corner. Don't be so critical. 67 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,802 What— is that really how you see me? 68 00:02:56,886 --> 00:02:58,471 Sometimes, yeah, I do, Mitchell. 69 00:02:58,554 --> 00:03:01,891 Oh, cam. Well, if that's true, then I'm sorry. 70 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:06,228 No, okay. From now on, I am in your corner, 100%. 71 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:09,774 And that song is gonna knock everyone out. Well, I don't know. 72 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,377 - — But wait till you see the dance I have prepared. - A dance? A dance! 73 00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:13,903 [ Giggles ] 74 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:18,574 - — More toast, Manny? - Why won't you call me, Emma? 75 00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,242 More toast, Emma? 76 00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:22,161 Do you have to be on all the time? 77 00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,621 Okay, I'm sorry. 78 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:24,789 Who is this Emma? 79 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,374 She's in the show with me tonight. 80 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:27,958 I'm thinking of taking a run at her. 81 00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:30,002 You don't take a run at a woman. 82 00:03:30,086 --> 00:03:32,380 You woo her. You make her feel special. 83 00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:33,714 Hey, hon, take a look at this. 84 00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:35,091 It's a picture of my butt. 85 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:38,552 And then when you get her, you can tell her whatever you want. 86 00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:40,054 Why do you do this? 87 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:43,224 I programmed it so my butt pops up when my brother Donnie calls. 88 00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:46,352 - — It's a clever way of saying my brother's an ass. - Is it? 89 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,771 [ Doorbell rings] That's him. Compose yourselves. 90 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,649 - — Forget I showed you this picture. - I'm trying. 91 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,402 How you doing, you dumb son of a bitch? 92 00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:57,363 Hey, you old Mick. Looks like you put on a few pounds. 93 00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:59,240 Oh, you too. What, are you eating your hair? 94 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,409 Oh, Gloria. Oh. 95 00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:03,077 What are you still doing here? 96 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,454 There's gotta be an easier way to get a green card. 97 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,457 Uncle Donnie, are you coming to my school concert tonight? Well... 98 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,209 It's an hour, tops. Wouldn't miss it. 99 00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:11,812 You know, I think I misplaced my phone. 100 00:04:11,836 --> 00:04:14,314 Could you call me on yours? My phone's at the bottom of my bag. 101 00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,316 Why don't you use your home phone? Come on. It's simple. 102 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,800 What are you doing? I want the phone. 103 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,094 How about you let go? Give me the phone, Donnie! 104 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,971 [ Donnie ] You still think you can take me? 105 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:25,266 Is this all you got, huh? I'm gonna wash your mouth out with fist. 106 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:26,934 [ Lamp shatters] Ow! Ohh! 107 00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:30,271 I don't understand this relationship, Emma. Ow! Ow! 108 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,363 Hey, Emma. 109 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:42,741 Doing the show, it feels like we've become like a little family, huh? 110 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,285 You mean like you're my brother? 111 00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,745 No. No, I don't. 112 00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:51,542 Oh, no! They're back! Dinosaur arms! 113 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:53,461 [Chuches] Thsiqttagoodtune, Luke. 114 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:54,962 That is hilarious. 115 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,965 Half boy, half t. Rex. [Laughs] 116 00:04:58,048 --> 00:05:00,009 One foot in both worlds, 117 00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:03,012 wanted by neither. [ Roars ] 118 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,323 Luke, that's a great way to stretch out a shirt. [ Growls ] 119 00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:08,058 Okay, okay. Break's over, everyone. 120 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,643 Let's take it from the top. 121 00:05:09,727 --> 00:05:11,353 Listen, we're running 20 minutes long, 122 00:05:11,437 --> 00:05:13,457 so we're gonna go ahead and cut the bollywood number. 123 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,483 Can I go? I'm late for soccer practice. 124 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,402 You know who else missed soccer practice, delroy? 125 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:20,654 The cast of rent. And now they have a Tony. 126 00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,490 We have a Tony. 127 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:25,493 [Laughs] You are so funny. 128 00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:26,660 Seriously? 129 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:27,995 Hello? 130 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:30,039 [ Phi/j hey, honey, did they drop the Van off yet? 131 00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:32,500 Yeah, a little while ago. How's it look? 132 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,836 Uh, well, believe it or not, I have resisted the temptation to look. 133 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,981 This whole Haley thing has got me a little preoccupied. 134 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,840 We're on our way out to lunch right now. 135 00:05:39,924 --> 00:05:42,468 About that I've been thinking. College is still a ways away. 136 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:46,180 I say we leave Haley alone. The more we push, the more she'll push back. 137 00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,224 I'm gonna push. And / support that. 138 00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:52,311 Only dad can make our minivan even lamer. 139 00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:54,164 Excuse me. What are you doing? [ Engine starts] 140 00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:56,857 I'm driving this thing to the reservoir. Justjump when I sayjump. 141 00:05:56,941 --> 00:05:58,442 Honey, slide over. 142 00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:05,032 How is this stupid ad supposed to sell houses anyway? 143 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:09,286 You heard your father. He's not just selling houses, he's selling us. 144 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,374 [ Haley] What are my friends gonna think? 145 00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:16,377 They're gonna think that you're helping your father put food on the table. 146 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,217 Ay, is the chair broken? Almost. 147 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,363 That cheap, freeloading brother of mine can't keep his hands off my good scotch. 148 00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,597 So you see, I've placed that scotch there. 149 00:06:28,681 --> 00:06:32,560 My brother sits in this chair, goes out from under him. Bam. Masterpiece. 150 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:35,563 So you make your brother fall and spill his drink? 151 00:06:35,688 --> 00:06:39,233 I don't want to jinx it, but that's the plan. Why are you both so mean? 152 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:42,278 Where I come from, brothers respect each other. 153 00:06:42,361 --> 00:06:44,321 That's why Colombia's such a peaceful utopia. 154 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:47,366 Hello, ladies. Hey, nice shirt. 155 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:49,177 Do they sell men's clothes where you got that? 156 00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:50,953 That's funny because woman are so inferior. 157 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,998 You got no taste. I bought this for Melanie's baptism. 158 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,500 - Who's Melanie? - Michael's kid. My granddaughter. 159 00:06:56,584 --> 00:07:01,463 - [Cell phone rings] — oh, I forgot to tell Irene I landed safely. Hello? 160 00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:04,508 How could you not know that your own brother had a granddaughter? 161 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:07,094 I probably knew. How can you forget when he's family? 162 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,638 I have 29 cousins, and I know them all. 163 00:07:09,722 --> 00:07:12,850 Rosa Marina, Gloria Maria, verenica, Mariana, Jose, Vicente... 164 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,476 Okay, okay, okay. What's your point? 165 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,104 You do the chair, you do the fighting, 166 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:20,274 but you don't know each other— it's sad. 167 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:23,003 Look, I may not talk to my brother the way you talk to your sisters, 168 00:07:23,027 --> 00:07:25,738 but believe me, we're close in our own way. 169 00:07:25,821 --> 00:07:27,781 When was the last time that you saw him? 170 00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:30,784 That's not easy 'cause he lives up... 171 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,662 I don't know. See, I wanna say buffalo. 172 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:40,294 All I'm saying is that there's no downside to more education. 173 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:41,879 I knew this car ride was a trap. 174 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,841 See that? That right there shows me just how smart you are. 175 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:49,553 [ Horn honking] Really? Again? What is going on? 176 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,847 It's the stupid ad. They're honking on my side too. 177 00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:58,812 Oh. Yes, we're the people in the ad. Yeah, hi. Hey. 178 00:07:58,896 --> 00:08:01,774 Another great thing about college— complete independence. 179 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,525 I'd have that in an apartment. 180 00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:06,445 No, because to have an apartment, you would need a job. 181 00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:08,572 You want to know what your job is in college? 182 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:10,616 It's a little bit of class and homework, 183 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:14,828 and it's a whole lot of new friends and experiences, 184 00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:18,207 and the boys think you're cute, and you are cute. 185 00:08:18,290 --> 00:08:20,793 And, oh, trust me, that doesn't last forever. 186 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,962 - [ Horn honks] - Call the number! 187 00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:28,092 All right! You in the mood to lose? 188 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,969 First time for everything. You break. 189 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:34,640 So how's work? — don't worry, moneybags, I'm not here for a loan. 190 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,642 Nice break. [ Muttering ] 191 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:40,229 All right, you're solids, which you won't be able to eat in a few years. 192 00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:42,898 Right, right. Seriously, though, how are things going with you? 193 00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:46,193 They're swell. I'm beating a fat guy at pool right now. 194 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,529 - — Donnie, I'm trying to talk to you. - Why? 195 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:50,531 Why? 'Cause that's what people do. 196 00:08:50,614 --> 00:08:53,242 Talk about things, like their lives. 197 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,996 Ah, Irene opened her big trap. 198 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,792 - Look, I'm fine. It's not like I'm gonna die. - What? 199 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:05,045 Yeah, they caught it early. I took the treatment. I'm clear for now. 200 00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:07,256 - — Come on, it's your shot. - Caught what early? 201 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,676 Donnie, are you talking about... 202 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:12,219 [ Whispers ] Cancer? 203 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,596 You don't have to whisper. I know I got it. 204 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,390 You just get your prostate checked. 205 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:18,475 By a doctor, not some guy you met on the Internet. 206 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,395 I can't believe you didn't tell me this. Because it's not a big deal. 207 00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:24,481 Listen, it's just between us. 208 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:27,192 [Cell phone rings] Oh, god. 209 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:29,194 [Beeps] 210 00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:33,157 Irene, how the hell do I know where your glasses are? 211 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:43,167 And there's frisbee golf, and you go snow sledding on cafeteria trays. 212 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,752 Oh, and you all get a dog together. 213 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:47,230 I don't really know who takes care of the dog during the summer, 214 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,534 but he's there when you get back. 215 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,429 Geez, maybe you should just go back to college. 216 00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:53,802 Oh, honey, do you know what I would give to go back? 217 00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:56,930 It's this moment when your whole life is in front of you. 218 00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:59,808 And it's a magical time. 219 00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:03,228 And you don't want to miss that, because when it's gone, it's gone. 220 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:06,482 [Hon1honks] Yeah, yeah. 221 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,445 Come on, Alex. Bus is leaving. 222 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,447 Dad, your phone's been buzzing like crazy. 223 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:17,618 Sweet lorna doone. Nineteen missed calls? 224 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:20,454 I wonder who's— [ Buzzes ] 225 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,956 Phil Dunphy. 226 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,834 You saw the ad? Great. 227 00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,878 Do you know what you're looking for? 228 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,589 The little one. I think I know which one you're talking about. 229 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:34,843 Um, if you're interested, I also have an older model with a lot of character. 230 00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:40,140 What? I think the carpet matches the drapes. I haven't checked in a while. 231 00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:42,643 Both of them? Wow. 232 00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,437 Well, I guess that makes sense if you're planning to flip one. 233 00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:48,816 Listen, um, why don't I call you back? We'll set up an appointment. 234 00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:51,819 It will give me a chance to give them both a good scrubbing. 235 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:53,654 All right. [ Chuckles ] 236 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:56,073 Thanksalot bye—bye. [Beeps] 237 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,409 How about that, huh? You think all these calls are about the ad? 238 00:11:00,369 --> 00:11:01,411 Yeah. 239 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:04,621 My friend Nicole just sent me a picture of the Van. 240 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:08,669 I guess I'll be seeing you wednesdays and every other weekend. 241 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:10,671 [ Beeps, ringing] 242 00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:11,754 [ Claire ] Hello? 243 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:14,007 Okay, um, you sound very angry, 244 00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:15,551 which is completely understandable. 245 00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:17,219 I'm not angry. 246 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:20,430 I'm just sitting here thinking about college and how life has passed me by. 247 00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:23,559 Oh, thank god. I'll see you at the show. Love you. Bye. We gotta go. 248 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:27,271 And as the music swells, 249 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:30,983 we reveal our letters spelling “we love the world.” 250 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:32,693 Powerful stuff. 251 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:36,947 And then the majestic Franklin middle school insignia will drop into position... 252 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:40,075 If Reuben ever finishes painting it. 253 00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,327 It's not the sistine chapel, Reuben. 254 00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:44,413 Surprise! Hi. 255 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:48,542 Your supportive boyfriend dropped by to bring you a snack. Pb. And j. 256 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,752 Pear, brie and jambon. My favorite. 257 00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:54,214 Okay, people, let's take five. A true five! 258 00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:55,549 [ Kids groaning] 259 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,259 - Hey, Manny, how's it going? - Hi. 260 00:11:57,342 --> 00:11:59,428 Good. Great. Uh, couldn't be better. 261 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,972 Can we, uh... 262 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:05,934 Yes, we can, uh— all right. 263 00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:09,730 What's up? — okay, you gotta talk to cam. He's driving us crazy. 264 00:12:09,813 --> 00:12:11,690 Kevin is biting his nails again. 265 00:12:11,815 --> 00:12:14,318 And Reuben hasn't had a bowel movement in a week. [ Chuckles ] 266 00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,695 Don't laugh. That's how Elvis died. 267 00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:20,198 All right, uh, Manny. I can't get involved, but... 268 00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:22,200 All right, if you have to say something, 269 00:12:22,284 --> 00:12:26,496 just tell Bob fussy that he's overdoing it and you wanna go back to your old stuff. 270 00:12:26,622 --> 00:12:30,667 Okay, break's over, people! I wanna do the French revolution number again. 271 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,294 Let's bring out the guillotine. 272 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,046 Carefully this time. 273 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,548 - No. No, no. - Excuse me? 274 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,719 We don't wanna do the new stuff. 275 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:44,514 We want to stop rehearsing and go back to the old way, Bob fussy. 276 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:47,351 I don't know where this is coming from. 277 00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,021 You all feel this way? 278 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,898 [All] Yeah. 279 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:55,776 Well, I had no idea. 280 00:12:55,859 --> 00:13:00,322 I had no idea I was surrounded by a bunch of quitters. 281 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,532 This production was a joke... 282 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:07,245 Until I introduced these children to the musical theater greats— Bernstein, sondheim. 283 00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:10,683 Years from now, some of these kids will still be talking about the way I sondheimized them. 284 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,293 Ooh, I don't think that's a good way of saying— okay. 285 00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:14,962 You wanna do it the old way... 286 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:18,006 With the same tired songs, the same drab choreography, 287 00:13:18,090 --> 00:13:20,008 the same tepid applause from mom and dad? 288 00:13:20,092 --> 00:13:22,177 Is that what you want? Just say the word. 289 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,321 [ Manny] That's what we want. 290 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,471 Well, too bad, people! 291 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,807 We're doing it my way! From the top! 292 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,892 This is a closed rehearsal. March. 293 00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:34,815 Hey, hey, hey. Hi, honey. What are you doing out here? 294 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:38,402 Oh, just waiting for you 'cause I love you. Haley, come out this side. 295 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,278 Why? 'Cause it's fun. Try it. 296 00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:41,822 Hi. Hi. 297 00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,615 Ohh. Mmm. 298 00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:46,410 Yeah, the doors slide, the seats slide. What can't the Sienna do? 299 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:47,953 That was fun. Yeah, right? 300 00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:50,372 Let's go see a show! Sweetie, we need to close the door. 301 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,959 Yeah, with the key. I like to see how far I can get from the car and still make it work. 302 00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:56,753 [Beeps] Listen, honey, honey. I need to ask you something. 303 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,597 Okay, I need you to be really honest with me. 304 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,590 Yeah. You— yes. 305 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:05,804 Are my best years behind me? What? No. 306 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,974 The trick is to keep looking forward. 307 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:12,769 Here we go. Yes, yes, for sure. 308 00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,646 [ Phil ] You feel good? [Claire] Yeah, I... 309 00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:18,066 [ Clears throat] 310 00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:22,404 Hello and welcome, everyone... And latecomers. 311 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:24,156 I hope you enjoy the show tonight. 312 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,992 I think you will agree it has a certain flair... 313 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,578 That has been lacking from this stage in years past. 314 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:33,498 So please, I invite you to sit back, relax... 315 00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:38,462 And enjoy this musical trip around the world! 316 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,130 J'j' [ Piano introduction ] 317 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,465 [ Whistles ] 318 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,721 Wow, growing up in america sure is great, 319 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,140 but I wish I knew more about the world. 320 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,641 [ Delroy] Me too. 321 00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:54,394 I think I've got an idea. See you later, friend. 322 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:56,730 3g [ Piano ] where are you going? 323 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,441 To see the world! 324 00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:03,779 [ Chuckles ] - China looks interesting. I think I'll land here. 325 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:07,491 [Whispering ] Bring him down! Bring him down! 326 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:12,120 Just go with it. Go. Hit it. W [ Up-tempo] 327 00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,999 [Cell phone ringing] Oh. Jay, come on. 328 00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,085 - — [ Ringing continues] - Geez. Come on. 329 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,168 Jay, you're in the theater. Try your jacket pocket. 330 00:15:20,212 --> 00:15:22,297 - — Sorry, folks. - Nice. He taped it shut. 331 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,025 - — [ Ringing stops] - Okay, that's enough. 332 00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:27,219 [ Kids ] 3 ride bikes for kicks they eat with sticks 3 333 00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,346 jay/ you stop it. You too. 334 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:31,807 Don't hit him. He has cancer. What? 335 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:33,391 J' they gave us Jackie chan 9 336 00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:37,312 33 [ Ends] [applause ] 337 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,191 Oh, my god. Is Luke stuck up there? 338 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,153 Phil? 339 00:15:45,237 --> 00:15:46,947 Come on. 340 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:51,451 Yeah. Yeah— oh, no. Come on! 341 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:54,037 China sure was fun. J'j' [ Piano ] 342 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:56,915 And look, there's merry old england. 343 00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:59,000 Has anyone here ever seen a globe? 344 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:01,211 Full steam ahead! 345 00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:04,214 Ahead! 346 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,216 Just sing. 347 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:08,677 [ Manny] 3 oh, joy to salt-swept eyes 3 348 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,346 3 fair england do I see 3 349 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:14,432 33 [ Continues, faint] 350 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,394 [ Door closes ] 351 00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:23,316 Sorry about what I said to Gloria, okay? It just came out. 352 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,318 Let's go back inside. 353 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:27,279 -Hnme - what? 354 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,865 - — No, you heard me. Hit me. - I'm not gonna hit you, Donnie. 355 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:31,825 Yeah? And that's the whole damn point. 356 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,327 As soon as you heard I was sick, you treated me different. 357 00:16:34,411 --> 00:16:36,621 Let me tell you, I get enough of that at home. 358 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:41,251 I'm sorry. I feel a little bad for you, okay? 359 00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:45,046 I know we don't say this much, but, uh, 360 00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:48,466 I care for you, you know. 361 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:51,761 Do you think I don't know that crap? 362 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:56,600 I have known you cared about me since we were eight and 10 years old... 363 00:16:56,683 --> 00:17:01,563 And that mook Joey calieri stole my bike and you put his head in the ice. 364 00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:05,775 What was that he said again? 365 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,278 Uh— “I can't hear no more.” 366 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,989 [ Both laughing ] 367 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,657 “I can't hear no more!” 368 00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,659 [ Laughing ] Oh, Don. [ Door opens ] 369 00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,411 Your staging is all over the place. 370 00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,872 The kids are exhausted. You're making it all about you. 371 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,499 No intermission. What, are we animals? I... 372 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,585 [ Exhales ] 373 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,797 [ Kids ] 3 and we'll sing about the world 3 374 00:17:27,923 --> 00:17:29,466 [ door closes ] I'm gonna be fine. 375 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,302 I got great doctors, the kids call me every day. 376 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,804 Irene even lost 20 pounds due to stress. 377 00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:36,806 Good for you. [Laughs] 378 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,310 You promise me. You get that liver checked. 379 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,437 Ah, there's nothing wr... 380 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,524 Oh. [Laughs] Come on, Donna. Suck it up. We're missin' my kid's show. 381 00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:48,735 You son of a bitch. Come on. 382 00:17:49,986 --> 00:17:53,323 [Jay] “I can't hear no more!” [both laughing] 383 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,325 Okay. All right. 384 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,036 That one was my fault, but Joan of arc's gonna be just fine. 385 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,455 It's not gonna be much fun doing the show without Emma. 386 00:18:00,538 --> 00:18:03,124 - — Maybe we should just stop this. - No. No. 387 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,852 There is a saying in the theater world that... 388 00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,378 “It's not worth dying for”? No. 389 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:09,089 It's that endings make shows. And we've got a great ending. 390 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:11,466 Now get out there and sing your hearts out. 391 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:13,885 Not you, sweetie. You just mouth the words. 392 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:16,137 Uncle cam, both my legs are tingly. 393 00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:19,057 We'll cut you down in just a second, Luke, okay? The show must go on. 394 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,642 Have fun with it. 395 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:24,562 Learning about the world sure was fun. 396 00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:27,524 But I'm glad to have my feet back on the ground again. 397 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:31,611 [ Kids] 3 oh, Egypt is the land where the pyramids stand 3 398 00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:34,739 3 which were built by industrious Jews 3 399 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,074 [ crash ] 400 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:39,452 3 and windmills go round in Holland town 3 401 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:43,164 3 where they all wear wooden shoes 3 402 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:47,585 3 these are the things we learned today 3 403 00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:53,550 3 and there's one last thing we want to say 3 404 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,596 “we love the word”? 405 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,724 - Where's the “I”? - It's Luke. 406 00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,768 Lower the insignia. Lower the... 407 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,812 [Audience gasps ] I Jay ] We love the... 408 00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:08,523 What the hell? [Laughs] 409 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,776 No.no, no.No. No.No, no.No. [Donnie laughing] 410 00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,778 No.no, no.No. No.No, no.No. 411 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:15,238 [ Laughing continues] 412 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,074 [ Clapping ] 413 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:19,909 Brava! 414 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,370 Phil, where have you been? 415 00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:23,997 Oh, just getting some fresh air. 416 00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,962 Honey. [ Inhales, exhales] Got it. Ready to go? 417 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:28,877 Hey, look up at the moon. Would you say that's waxing or waning? 418 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,962 Who cares? We can spend all night looking at... 419 00:19:31,046 --> 00:19:33,256 “I can't be satisfied”? 420 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,468 My god, Phil. That makes me look like a prostitute. 421 00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,511 - No. - Yes. Yes, it does. 422 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:42,140 More of an escort, really. You're just selling your time, whereas a prostitute... 423 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:46,269 Okay, Phil, I have been driving around in this all day. 424 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:50,106 Well, since, you're mad already, 425 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:51,858 why don't you just step over here... 426 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:53,360 [ Screams ] And have a look at that. 427 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:55,153 Oh, god. My baby. [Laughs] 428 00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:57,030 I am not getting back in that car! 429 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,913 How do you think you're gonna get home, honey? 430 00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,825 It doesn't matter. I'll go home with anyone. 431 00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:03,203 That's what it should say on the Van. Alex. 432 00:20:04,913 --> 00:20:07,433 I can't believe we trusted you to put this on the car— [cell phone rings] 433 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:09,727 After the debacle of that last picture and all the— damn it. 434 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:12,504 Who is that? Probably another... 435 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:14,387 I think the word you're looking for is “John.” 436 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:16,883 Get in the minivan. 437 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:19,612 You mean to tell me that people have actually been calling about this? 438 00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,179 There are a lot of creeps out there. 439 00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:22,806 That's disgusting. She's a child. 440 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,266 Well, to be fair, most of them were for you. 441 00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,851 Oh. It's still sick. 442 00:20:28,103 --> 00:20:30,188 [Clicks tongue] What do you mean, “most”? 443 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,607 Well, I don't know. There were 30 calls. 444 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:34,609 You got 20 or 25 of them. 445 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:36,861 What, they asked for me? 446 00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,405 They asked for the hot blonde. 447 00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:40,490 Mmm. Men are pigs. 448 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,493 Did they call me anything else? 449 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,787 So, thanks to all the perverts in town, 450 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,289 I realize I still have a few good years ahead of me. 451 00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:52,710 And if we have one person to thank for that, it would be... 452 00:20:52,794 --> 00:20:53,795 No. 453 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:03,179 [ Groans ] 454 00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:06,349 Was it as awful as I think? 455 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,059 Take the flowers. 456 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:09,144 [ Both chuckle ] 457 00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:10,937 It must have been really hard for you... 458 00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:13,189 To be supportive while I made a fool out of myself. 459 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,066 Oh. Come here. 460 00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:17,193 [ Kisses ] 461 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,674 Luke, do you mind? We're trying to have a moment here. 462 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:24,576 I can feel my heartbeat in my eyes. 463 00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:25,659 In his eyes? Yes. 464 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,871 Okay, uh— we'll get a janitor. Okay. 465 00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,421 English - us - psdh