1 00:00:04,005 --> 00:00:05,548 Want some coffee? 2 00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:07,425 Say yes. It's French press. 3 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:09,093 I was doubtful too, 4 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:11,429 but I honestly can't see myself going back to drip. 5 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,973 I'm so happy you don't live in a tough neighborhood anymore. 6 00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:15,892 We're so sorry for just dropping by like this. 7 00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,685 Are you kidding me? 8 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:21,564 I'll take any chance to spend time with this little Princess. 9 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:24,609 I love her little hair, her little toes. 10 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:25,943 And she loves her grandmother. 11 00:00:26,027 --> 00:00:28,196 I don't love “grandmother.” 12 00:00:28,279 --> 00:00:30,323 So cam and I have been revising our will... 13 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,366 To specify who should take care of Lily... 14 00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:34,452 If, god forbid, something happened to us. 15 00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:37,538 God forbid. I said god for... 16 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:41,751 So we've been dropping by unannounced to, you know, casually assess our candidates. 17 00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,336 Not all of our candidates. 18 00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:45,219 No, that's true. We did not drop by missourah. 19 00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,882 It's Missouri. No one from Missouri would say “missourah.” 20 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,967 I'm so sorrah. 21 00:00:50,051 --> 00:00:52,929 So anyway, Claire and Phil were our first thought, 22 00:00:53,012 --> 00:00:54,722 so we dropped by their place last week. 23 00:00:55,848 --> 00:00:57,892 You win the award for worst mother ever! 24 00:00:57,975 --> 00:01:00,603 I will be sure to thank you in my speech. 25 00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,605 Phil! The frying pan's on fire! 26 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:05,900 Son of jor—ei! Everybody stay calm! 27 00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,735 Dad, I'm gonna teach myself how to juggle. 28 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,362 Good for you, buddy. 29 00:01:09,445 --> 00:01:11,739 Mom! No one heard me screaming? 30 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,942 I've been trapped in the garage for, like, 20 minutes! 31 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:17,245 And yet still you didn't get the rat traps I sent you for. Thank you. 32 00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:20,539 - — Honey! It's doing it again! - Come on now! Every morning? 33 00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:22,851 I hope the whole house burns down! 34 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,293 Did we come at a bad time? 35 00:01:24,377 --> 00:01:27,380 Come back in seven years and five months, when they're all gone! 36 00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,299 ,/' hey, heyj 37 00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:32,343 ,/' hey, heyj 38 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,387 ,/' hey, heyj 39 00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:36,472 ,/' hey, heyj 40 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,556 j“ hey if 41 00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:41,644 So, mama, you're good for coal? 42 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:46,524 Okay! Okay, well, bundle up! We don't want to lose you! 43 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,775 Yeah, bye! 44 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:49,544 They're in the middle of a terrible blizzard. 45 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:50,903 So you shouted. 46 00:01:50,987 --> 00:01:52,697 Did they really lose two cows? 47 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,758 Oh, yeah. Frozen solid. Mama's gonna send pictures. 48 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,542 Oh, yay, a reason to stop by the frame store. 49 00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,595 Manny, I gotta get you down to that sporting goods place. 50 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,389 Gotta get him some stuff for his weekend outing. 51 00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:01,998 - — Ready! - Did you pee? 52 00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:03,207 Not ready. 53 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:05,459 Jay, would you mind if we came? Sure. Why not? 54 00:02:05,543 --> 00:02:07,562 I'd like to get mama some snowshoes, lift her spirits, 55 00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:09,171 what with all the frozen cows. 56 00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:10,423 80 cows freeze now? 57 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:11,799 Are we all just accepting that? 58 00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:13,235 Oh, absolutely. Jay, this one time... 59 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:15,136 We'll take two cars. 60 00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:17,305 If you want, I can stay with the little Princess. 61 00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:18,806 Oh, that's a great idea. 62 00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:20,641 Oh, yeah, I'll just go out and get her bag. 63 00:02:20,725 --> 00:02:22,435 Maybe I take her to the mall, 64 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:25,813 buy her a new outfit, get her some hair rings. 65 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,482 - — Is that okay? - Yes, yes. Of course. 66 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,211 You know, Gloria, cam and I were talking... 67 00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,996 About what would happen to Lily if anything were ever to happen to us. 68 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:37,199 And we were thinking— oh, my god! /s/j 3/1 sf! I take her! 69 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:38,969 That's very sweet, but you realize it would only happen... 70 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:41,329 I can't wait! Hopefully, it's a long shot. 71 00:02:41,412 --> 00:02:43,748 [Ay/ a little girl! 72 00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,708 There would have to be a very tragic accident. 73 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,336 I know, I know. 74 00:02:48,461 --> 00:02:50,838 Nothing is going to happen. No. 75 00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:56,385 But if it did, we would be so happy! 76 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:02,242 So what do you say, pal? I gotta swing by the office. 77 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,411 - — You wanna come along? - Can't. We got some stuff to do. 78 00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,312 - — What? - Just errands. 79 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,107 I'm taking Luke to see a child psychologist. 80 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,693 This is something that Phil would never agree to. 81 00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:15,363 He doesn't want Luke to feel different. 82 00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:19,992 But Luke's grades aren't great, and he's having trouble concentrating in school. 83 00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:22,286 I just want to make sure that he's normal. 84 00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:26,040 Hey, mom. Check it out. What are you doing? 85 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:29,877 If I move my head fast enough, it looks like the can is standing still. 86 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,670 'Cause sometimes I wonder. 87 00:03:32,922 --> 00:03:34,924 All the girls at work love it when I bring Luke by. 88 00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:37,134 Especially that receptionist Heather. Right, buddy? 89 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,011 She smells amazing. 90 00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:41,656 Honey, you're gonna have to smell daddy's receptionist some other time. 91 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:43,182 Like peaches. 92 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:45,160 If you're both going out, who's taking me to cello? 93 00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:47,103 One time, she gave me a Woody. Sweet je... 94 00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,522 She remembered he's my favorite character from toy story. 95 00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:51,857 She did. Uh. 96 00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:53,943 Haley, how are you getting to the mall? 97 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,528 Gabby's picking me up. 98 00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:57,798 You're gonna drop your sister off at her cello lesson first. 99 00:03:57,822 --> 00:04:00,491 No way. She plays lacrosse and takes cello lessons. 100 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,077 Even my reputation can't handle that dork hit. 101 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,972 Okay, well, then you don't need to go snowboarding with your friends on break. 102 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,249 - Fine, I'll take her. - Mm-hmm. 103 00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,894 Just never look my friends in the eye, and only speak in emergencies. 104 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,212 Got it. Already failed. 105 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,567 Honey, after I go by the office, maybe we can grab some lunch. 106 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,820 I can't. I gotta pick up all that stuff for the school trip. 107 00:04:19,844 --> 00:04:22,531 - But you know what? I'll see you tonight at dad and Gloria's. - Okay. 108 00:04:22,555 --> 00:04:26,016 - Smell Heather for me. - I always do... not. 109 00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:31,939 Ms. Dunphy? 110 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,108 Hi, Dr. Klausner. I am so sorry we're late. 111 00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:35,943 We got a little caught up— oh, that's okay. 112 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,279 It gave me a chance to chat with your husband. 113 00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:40,322 Hello, Claire. 114 00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,074 So, Luke, come on in with me. 115 00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:44,010 Mom and dad, we'll let you know when we need you. 116 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,454 Go get 'em, pal. 117 00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:49,540 How did you— how did I what? 118 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,917 Know you were some place you left no trace of... 119 00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:54,295 Except for a tiny notation in your calendar? 120 00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:55,963 It was quite simple, really. 121 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:57,673 I noticed a tiny nota... 122 00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:58,757 Shoot 123 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:06,098 That's weird. My cello teacher's car isn't here. 124 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:09,727 I wonder if she's not home. So go knock on the door, Alan Einstein. 125 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,979 Don't leave. And it's “Albert.” 126 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,398 I know. Alan's his dorky brother who played the cello. 127 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:16,233 Good one. 128 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:19,713 I should probably not be telling you this. 129 00:05:19,737 --> 00:05:21,405 What? Nothing. It's really bad. 130 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:23,949 Tell me. When you and Dylan were broken up, 131 00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:26,660 Rachel told him you were a skank and got all up on him. 132 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:29,121 No! But she's so nice to me. 133 00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:31,457 To your face. That's how she plays. 134 00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:34,335 Now she's gonna see how we play. What are we gonna do? 135 00:05:34,418 --> 00:05:36,629 She's not there. You're just gonna have to take me home. 136 00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:39,131 We don't have time. We have stuff to do. 137 00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:40,817 Then I'm just gonna have to come with you. 138 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,611 Can't we drop her off at a coffee shop or something? 139 00:05:42,635 --> 00:05:46,013 What, so she gets kidnapped and / get in trouble? No, thank you. 140 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,848 Fine, you can come with us, 141 00:05:47,932 --> 00:05:50,243 but you have to keep your mouth shut about anything you see. 142 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,894 What's she gonna see? Just drive. 143 00:05:53,646 --> 00:05:55,814 Ooh, maybe I should also get a gift for my aunt pat. 144 00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,358 Have I ever told you about her? 145 00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,610 Total gun nut, lives completely off the grid. 146 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,445 Did you see how cute Gloria was with Lily? 147 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:04,031 Pat is hilarious. I don't think she's paid taxes in 20 years. 148 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,492 But very hospitable. Always has a deer in the freezer. 149 00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:10,246 Would you listen to me? I think that Gloria and my dad could be Lily's guardians. 150 00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,581 Look, you know I love Jay, and they're still in the mix. 151 00:06:12,665 --> 00:06:15,417 But I just don't know about him raising a child. 152 00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:17,628 Well, cam, he raised me. 153 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:21,590 Well, now you've put me in an awkward position. 154 00:06:21,674 --> 00:06:25,636 Oh, look at that. That's adorable. 155 00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:28,490 Let's see if we can get you some snow pants. I just wish I felt better. 156 00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:30,391 I think I'm coming down with flu-like symptoms. 157 00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:33,310 A couple of hours before your camping trip, huh? I want to go. 158 00:06:33,394 --> 00:06:35,594 It's just, if I'm sick, I might get the chaperones sick. 159 00:06:35,688 --> 00:06:38,107 And without chaperones, it's anarchy. Manny, listen to me. 160 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:41,694 The buddy system falls apart. The principle of “last in, first out” is ignored. 161 00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:43,571 It's butterflies. Where? 162 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:46,466 You're just nervous because there's gonna be a lot of physical activity, 163 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,075 which is not exactly your strong suit. 164 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,910 It is a little daunting out there. 165 00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:52,288 Listen, don't use the word “daunting” in nature, okay? 166 00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:54,331 You just need a little self-confidence. 167 00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:56,750 Look at this. They got one of these rock walls here. 168 00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:58,544 Why don't you hop up on that? 169 00:06:58,669 --> 00:07:01,088 Why? Why? To prove that you can do it. 170 00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,340 You can do that, you can do anything. Really. 171 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:05,884 Can I fly? Can I speak Chinese? 172 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:08,095 No, but you can sleep in the house tonight. 173 00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:11,515 Ace, you wanna wire my boy up here? Go ahead. 174 00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,517 I'm sorry I went behind your back. 175 00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:16,562 But you get so defensive whenever we talk about Luke's issues. 176 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:19,106 He doesn't have issues. You're just a worrier. 177 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,989 Like when you thought he was never gonna talk. 178 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,569 He was two, and all he could do was bark. 179 00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,696 I understood him. Phil! 180 00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:30,367 Look, he starts coming here, the other kids find out, he becomes a target... 181 00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:33,746 Like that limping gazelle at the watering hole that the alligator knows to eat. 182 00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:36,498 Crocodiles. Not alligators. There are no alligators in Africa. 183 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,250 How about the zoo? Bam! 184 00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:40,002 Who needs a shrink now? 185 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,004 - Mr. and Mrs. Dunphy. - Yes. Hi. 186 00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:44,441 Luke, I'm gonna talk to your mom and dad for a minute, okay? 187 00:07:44,465 --> 00:07:46,592 Okay. She's, like, the best doctor ever. 188 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:49,428 A couple of puzzles, no shots. 189 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,972 I didn't even have to take my pants off. 190 00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:53,682 Found that one out a little late. 191 00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:55,267 I've been there, buddy. 192 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,227 Mmm! 193 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,484 Well, Luke's a terrific kid. I have a few thoughts. 194 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,754 But honestly, I don't see anything that's cause for alarm. 195 00:08:05,778 --> 00:08:07,821 Awesome. Thanks so much for your time. 196 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:09,406 We would love to hear your thoughts. 197 00:08:09,531 --> 00:08:11,742 Well... 198 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:15,454 He's a bright and curious boy, but he gets distracted. 199 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:16,997 Mm-hmm. 200 00:08:17,081 --> 00:08:18,916 I see it all the time with above-average kids. 201 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,167 Mm-hmm. 202 00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:22,670 Phil, honey, I want you to hear this. Mm-hmm. 203 00:08:22,795 --> 00:08:26,715 They're a little overstimulated because there are so many things they're interested in. 204 00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:29,510 They never seem to focus. Makes me crazy. 205 00:08:29,593 --> 00:08:32,388 - — Too crazy. - They usually do outgrow it. 206 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:34,890 What if they don't? He will. 207 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:39,228 Well, there's medication, but why don't we cross that bridge if we come to it? 208 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:42,231 Is there any way to avoid that bridge altogether? 209 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:44,108 You know, maybe there's diet... 210 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,610 Or focusing exercises or something? 211 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,987 Ms. Dunphy, what exactly are you worried about? 212 00:08:49,071 --> 00:08:50,155 Get comfortable. 213 00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:53,617 I'm worried he's turning into you, Phil. 214 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,245 I knew the minute I opened my mouth that I was in the wrong. 215 00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:59,873 But honestly, sometimes I wonder about him. 216 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,292 - — Hey, mom. Check it out. - What are you doing? 217 00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:05,587 If I move my head fast enough, it looks like the can is standing still. 218 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:10,300 He's totally right. 219 00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:13,554 I just find it interesting that you blame Jay for everything... 220 00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,889 From your night terrors to your shy bladder, 221 00:09:15,973 --> 00:09:18,183 and now he's the perfect guardian for Lily. 222 00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:21,562 No, not perfect. And I never said anything about my shy bladder. 223 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:24,356 Oh, then why did I have to stand guard outside the bathroom... 224 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,525 At pepper's three faces of new year's Eve party? 225 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:27,728 Damn it, Manny! Move it! Go! 226 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,236 It's scary. 227 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,904 You're two feet off the ground. 228 00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:34,408 I've seen vines climb walls faster than that. Move your butt. 229 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,952 Oh, there's your esteem—building parent right there. 230 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:39,121 Wait, wait. I think I hear future Lily... 231 00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:41,457 Sending us a message from her stripper pole. 232 00:09:41,540 --> 00:09:44,084 “Thanks, gay dead dads. This dance is for you.” 233 00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:46,503 - — Excuse me, Jay? - I'm getting down. 234 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,297 Not till you touch the top! What is it? 235 00:09:48,380 --> 00:09:50,734 Maybe if we didn't bully Manny so much, but rather showed him, 236 00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:52,301 he wouldn't be so afraid. 237 00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:55,596 Excuse me, sherpa. Could you assist me with the harness? 238 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,181 Oh, no. 239 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,767 Which one of these is my driving machine? 240 00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:02,770 Phil, I already apologized. It just came out wrong. 241 00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:05,707 Oh, funny, I thought that was my problem— I came out wrong. 242 00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:08,650 Hold on. 243 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:10,694 Oh, good. I can walk again. 244 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:13,631 Honey, you know sometimes you can act a little bit— oh, no! Where did everyone go? 245 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,908 Oh, just a blink. 246 00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:19,137 Phil, when you are ready to talk to me like an adult, why don't you let me know? 247 00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:21,038 Fine. Okay, okay. 248 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,499 The adults were the big ones, right? 249 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,847 Hey, how do you think that got up there? 250 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,267 Uh-oh. 251 00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:46,063 Now, I know it seems daunting, Manny, but it's very simple. 252 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:50,567 I'm securely hitched to a rope, which means I'm not going to fall. 253 00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:53,487 Dad, youtereahyrnahng my life difficult right now. How? 254 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,290 By barking at Manny like a drill sergeant... 255 00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:57,884 When I'm trying to convince cam that you'd be a great guardian for Lily. 256 00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,159 Guardian? Yeah. 257 00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:00,244 You're kidding. 258 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,163 Jay! Yeah, never mind. 259 00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:04,706 That really hurt! 260 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,461 This is a mistake. 261 00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:11,004 Why does she keep saying that? 262 00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,048 Because they're the first words she ever heard. 263 00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:14,633 Here, you go first. 264 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,969 This will teach that skank a lesson. 265 00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:20,305 Shaving cream in her locker? Just stand over there and yell if someone's coming. 266 00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:22,659 She might have homework assignments in there she hasn't handed in yet. 267 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,852 Haley. 268 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,355 Run! Someone's coming. 269 00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:36,154 Where are we? Boys' locker room. 270 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,365 It smells like feet. That's not feet. 271 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,200 Okay, come here. 272 00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:45,581 I'm so scared. Just go to your happy place. 273 00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,749 We just broke into my happy place. 274 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,210 Who's there? 275 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,595 Go, go! Run! Oh, no! 276 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,055 Not so loud. Run. 277 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:04,266 So how you doin'? Oh, not good. 278 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:07,519 I'm just glad my clown training prepared me to take a fall like that. 279 00:12:07,603 --> 00:12:09,396 Yeah, and in terms of talking about it, 280 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,231 are we looking at weeks, months? 281 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:14,359 Do not minimize it, you who I had to rush to the emergency room... 282 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:16,111 That time you fell out of your clogs. 283 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,197 There's your bubbly water fihkmnon. Thank you, Jay. 284 00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:21,742 How you doin'? Oh, it's hard to tell. 285 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:25,037 You know, anytime you have a catastrophic injury to your lumbar area... 286 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,414 I could use a little piece of lumbar myself right now. 287 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:30,208 Well, I hope you're comfortable now... 288 00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:32,669 Making my family Lily's guardians. 289 00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,504 /ho/a./ /ho/a./ 290 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:38,300 you're forgetting about Gloria. Even you have to admit how amazing she is with Lily. 291 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:42,012 Mmm! Look who's so pretty! 292 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,931 - — Oh, my god! - Gloria, what did you do? 293 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:47,142 - — What I told you. - You pierced her ears? 294 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:50,687 What I said. I was going to make her pretty with earrings. 295 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,648 I thought you said “hair rings.” 296 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,484 What are hair rings? Yes, Mitchell, what are hair rings? 297 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:58,946 Something that would tie your hair back— she said it. 298 00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,781 I didn't say hair rings. I said earrings! 299 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:04,117 You don't like? — of course not. You punctured our daughter. 300 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:07,621 But did you see both sides? I didn't just do the gay ear. 301 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,915 - Look. - Oh, my god. 302 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:11,792 Oh, my god. 303 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:20,968 We actually— I think we're good. 304 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:22,803 Let's just wait in here for Gabby, okay? 305 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:25,263 Oh, my god. I can't believe we just did that. 306 00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:27,766 Can you believe we just did that? Yeah, we had a lot of fun. 307 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,810 Let's not geek it up. 308 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,812 Wait. What if I have a taste for it now? 309 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:33,915 Am I gonna start doing stuff like that all the time? 310 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,108 Calm down. You just did one bad thing. 311 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,362 Two. 312 00:13:41,697 --> 00:13:43,991 I skipped my cello lesson today. 313 00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:46,618 Wasn't even where my teacher lives. 314 00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:48,370 You ditched a class? 315 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:52,124 Well, I didn't have time to practice because of lacrosse and debate team and... 316 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,792 Do you even like playing the cello? 317 00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:55,711 Yeah. 318 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,754 Alex. 319 00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:00,215 I hate it. 320 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,802 So quit. I've never quit anything. 321 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,846 You never broke into a school before, 322 00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,515 but just did that. 323 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:12,102 No offense, but the family's hopes and dreams are kind of pinned on me. 324 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,313 I'm just saying, is that no one would blame you... 325 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,858 If you stopped being so perfect. 326 00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,819 It actually would take a lot of pressure off of me. 327 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:27,534 I did something bad too, something that nobody knows. 328 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,953 - What? - Come here. 329 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:33,206 I can't say it too loud, okay? What did you do? 330 00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:44,801 Phil, I'm just not sure you understand why I said what I said. 331 00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:48,281 There are qualities about me you wish you could change but you can't, 'cause I'm all grown up, 332 00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:50,015 but it's not too late for Luke. 333 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,934 All right. 334 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,187 Honey, there are a hundred things about Luke... 335 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,856 That he gets from you that I absolutely love. 336 00:14:57,939 --> 00:15:02,486 It's just this— this one tiny part that I'm sure if I could just get in there and just... 337 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:06,573 Claire, he's a great kid. He's gonna be fine. 338 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,200 I know. 339 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,452 I think I know. 340 00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:13,663 I feel terrible that we fought in front of him. 341 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:15,667 Did he say anything about that on the drive here? 342 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,501 How would I know? He rode with you. 343 00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:19,628 He didn't drive with me. He drove with you. 344 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:27,552 Just admit it. You want Lily raised by anyone but my family. 345 00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:29,638 It's just so far away from everything she knows. 346 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,808 And then there's the crazy aunts and the frozen cows. Oh, please. 347 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:36,353 In the last hour, your father publicly shamed Manny, dropped me from the sky, 348 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:39,773 while his wife drilled holes in our baby's head. 349 00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:42,234 Which is why I think we should revisit Claire and Phil. 350 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,027 Where are my keys? 351 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,196 We left Luke alone in a parking garage! 352 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,156 We don't know the whole story. 353 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,783 Don't we? 354 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,618 Whose car are we taking? Mine. 355 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,537 Then I'm driving. 356 00:15:54,204 --> 00:15:55,288 Hey, mom. 357 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:57,082 Buddy! Luke! 358 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,333 Buddy. Lukey! 359 00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,459 Honey! Thank you so much. 360 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:00,794 Get out of there. Thank you. 361 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,519 I'm so sorry. We are so sorry. Oh, buddy. 362 00:16:02,546 --> 00:16:04,339 No. You must have been so scared. 363 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:05,715 What happened? 364 00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:07,509 I knew you'd come back. Uh-huh. 365 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:10,679 Then you didn't. So I had to go find a phone. 366 00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:13,322 That's when I saw a stray dog, and I played with him for a while. 367 00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:14,641 Uh—huh. Uh-huh. 368 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,869 Then I thought I saw Mrs. Morgan, my first-grade teacher, 369 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,395 going into a church. 370 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,605 It wasn't her, but there was a wedding there, 371 00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,399 and that's where I met the litvaks. 372 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,152 Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. Congratul-tov. 373 00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,238 Oh, baby. 374 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:29,823 Can I go get a drink? Yes. 375 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,741 Yes, you can. You can drink whatever you want. 376 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:33,785 There's tons of soda in there. 377 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,748 What an amazing kid. 378 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,893 I can't believe I ever worried about him out in the world. 379 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,794 It's just... 380 00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:45,088 That's what I do, though, isn't it? I worry. 381 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,733 I worry. I think about a tiny little thing, and then I obsess on it... 382 00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,177 Until suddenly it's the only thing I can think about. 383 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:51,928 God, please don't let me screw up our son. 384 00:16:52,012 --> 00:16:53,930 Hey. Hey. 385 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,018 You know why else he's gonna be okay? 386 00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:00,103 No. 387 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,439 Because somewhere out there is a worried little girl... 388 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:05,609 Who's making lists and labeling bins, and... 389 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,154 He's gonna find her. 390 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,159 Mmm! 391 00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:19,748 Cam. I know you're kind of down on Jay being Lily's guardian. 392 00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:22,250 Now, that's not anything you need to worry about, Manny. 393 00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,544 I just think you're being too hard on him. 394 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:26,713 We had a little chat in the car. 395 00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,965 I'm sorry I let you down, Jay. 396 00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:32,361 I'm starting to think if I couldn't even get up that wall, then why am I even going... 397 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,889 Knock it off, Manny. We both know you could get up that wall. 398 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,849 Now why are you trying to get out of this trip? 399 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:41,686 I'm not. I'm excited to go. Manny. 400 00:17:41,770 --> 00:17:45,065 Okay. I have some concerns about the shower situation. 401 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,067 Oh. Because? 402 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:49,569 - — Well, I'm pretty much at my target weight. - That's good. 403 00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:54,199 But the thing is, I haven't quite reached my target height. 404 00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:56,701 Got it. 405 00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,495 First of all, you don't have to go. 406 00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,706 I'll write you a note. We'll plan on doing something fun this weekend. 407 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:03,124 Really? You bet. 408 00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,584 And you're not mad at me? 409 00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,812 Look, if you were a different kid, I'd give you the speech. 410 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:10,298 You know— “we all have insecurities. You've gotta be brave here.” 411 00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:13,593 But let's face it. You're already about the bravest kid I know. 412 00:18:13,677 --> 00:18:15,345 I am? Comeon. 413 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,306 You wear blazers to school. You play the pan flute. 414 00:18:18,390 --> 00:18:20,934 You— you read poetry to girls. 415 00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:23,520 I couldn't even talk to girls when I was your age. 416 00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,189 Shower thing's nothing compared to all that. 417 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,526 But whatever you decide, I'm behind you. 418 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,739 No. I got that set up just right. 419 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,491 I told you about that before. 420 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,368 Jay said that? Yeah. 421 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,412 And he wasn't drinking or anything. 422 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:43,623 So what are you gonna do? I think I'm gonna go. 423 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:46,251 I mean, if Reuben can go with that extra nipple... 424 00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:49,045 I'm proud of you, Manny. 425 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,840 You're doing the right thing. Trust me. 426 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:54,134 I mean, what were you thinking, Gloria? 427 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:57,095 Ay, Mitch, I said I was sorry. 428 00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,014 But I had them since I was two. 429 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,598 Huge ones. 430 00:19:00,682 --> 00:19:03,310 What is she— Earrings, Phil. Earrings. 431 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,855 Mitch, ! Just wanna tell you how really touched I was... 432 00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:09,065 You wanting me to be Lily's guardian. 433 00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:12,027 Oh, you're welcome. And you're out. 434 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:15,613 Excuse me, I have a very important announcement to make. 435 00:19:17,574 --> 00:19:19,492 Oh. Sorry. 436 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:22,746 Sorry. So rude. Totally inexcusable. 437 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:24,039 Y'ello? 438 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:33,923 Mitchell and I have decided that if, god forbid, anything should happen to us... 439 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:35,592 No. We don't have to do this right now. 440 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,053 We would like Jay and Gloria to be Lily's guardians. 441 00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:39,637 Ifsthermhtdechxl cam? 442 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,306 Ah! That is great news! 443 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:44,184 Lily, when something horrible happens, 444 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,977 you're going to be all mine! 445 00:19:46,061 --> 00:19:48,688 It really is an “if' situation. 446 00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:50,273 All mine! 447 00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:53,985 I don't mean to ruin this really beautiful moment, 448 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,529 but were Phil and I even considered for the position? Claire. 449 00:19:56,613 --> 00:20:00,283 I mean, we are the parents of three healthy, well-adjusted children... 450 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:03,968 Honey, we need to go down to the police station. Our daughters just vandalized the school. 451 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,291 This is not over. 452 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:12,504 Let's go see your new room, Liliana. 453 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,673 No, that's not her name. 454 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:21,471 Hey. 455 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,639 What are you doing home? 456 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,682 - — I bailed on yoga. - Oh, yeah, yeah. 457 00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:26,366 Could you go to the mailbox and get me... 458 00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:28,561 - — Why can't I just come in? - You can. I just... 459 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:29,686 Cameron? What? 460 00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,022 Look at me. I am. 461 00:20:31,106 --> 00:20:32,148 What did you do? 462 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,485 I am home alone for a lot of hours! 463 00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:38,071 Carmen Miranda! 464 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,740 I just wanted a couple before the holes closed up. 465 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:42,867 Oh, Cameron. 466 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,997 Just get one with me really quick. Okay. 467 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,458 All right. Hey. One for daddy. Whoo! 468 00:20:55,338 --> 00:20:56,339 English - us - psdh