1 00:00:05,256 --> 00:00:08,426 Oh, good. You're up. It is such a beautiful day. 2 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,029 Let's go have brunch somewhere outside where I can wear my new sunglasses. 3 00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:13,014 Ew, gross! What happened to you? 4 00:00:13,097 --> 00:00:15,433 I don't feel good. I'm hot. 5 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:17,727 Now I'm cold. 6 00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:18,853 Oh, no. 7 00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:21,272 And we have that concert tonight. 8 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,358 I know, but, honey, that's the furthest thing from my mind, okay? 9 00:00:24,483 --> 00:00:25,818 [Coughing] [Mitchell] Why me? 10 00:00:25,902 --> 00:00:28,029 We had amazing seats for lady gaga, 11 00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:29,906 and he gets sick. 12 00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:32,366 I've been looking foward to that concert for months. 13 00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:35,119 It's the one gay cliche I allow myself. 14 00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,834 ,/' hey, heyj 15 00:00:41,918 --> 00:00:43,920 ,/' hey, heyj 16 00:00:44,003 --> 00:00:46,047 ,/' hey, heyj 17 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:48,007 ,/' hey, heyj 18 00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,300 j“ hey if 19 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,114 - [ kids shouting, arguing] - [ Claire ] Okay, that's it! 20 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:56,265 No more fighting! No more fighting! 21 00:00:56,349 --> 00:00:58,100 For the rest of your lives, 22 00:00:58,184 --> 00:01:00,061 you are not allowed to yell at each other. 23 00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:02,480 But you're allowed to yell at us? Yes, Alex, I am. 24 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,833 Because I feed you and I clothe you and I pay the mortgage. 25 00:01:04,857 --> 00:01:09,195 Whoa! Pretty sure old dad deserves a shout—out right about now. 26 00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:10,655 - Phil! - Sorry. 27 00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:13,157 Should've taken the temperature of the room first. What's up? 28 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:15,802 - I'm dealing with a lot— - Luke and Manny barged into our room... 29 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,620 While we were changing— The little pervs. 30 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,164 Can I just say, in Europe, this would be no big deal. 31 00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,684 [ Luke] Yeah. You can see me in my undennear whenever you want. 32 00:01:22,708 --> 00:01:24,418 Here. I'll make it even. 33 00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,063 - No. Hey, Luke! Luke! Luke! Luke! - [Alex, Haley shrieking ] 34 00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:27,922 Keep your pants on! 35 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:29,691 Girls! Stop getting so hysterical over everything! 36 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:32,635 Come on! Now grow up a little. 37 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,821 [ Mouthing words] I need things to start changing around here, 38 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,347 or I will change things, okay? 39 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,683 There will be no more TV and no Internet... 40 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:40,518 And no whatever else I can think of. 41 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,020 May I have a word with you, Phil? 42 00:01:44,647 --> 00:01:46,148 I'd rather not. 43 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,610 What was that? Nothing. 44 00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:51,534 - — Phil. You sold me out behind my back. - No! 45 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,590 It's just that sometimes you can get a little intense. 46 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,009 I feel like I need to swoop in to let the kids know they're still loved. 47 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,868 I could kick you. 48 00:01:57,952 --> 00:02:00,121 Honey, these are just the parts that we're playing. 49 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:02,724 Am I wrong, or has it been working? I feel like it's been working. 50 00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,834 I am tired of being the bad cop. 51 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:08,671 You need to discipline them sometime and let me swoop in with all the love. 52 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,482 Shouldn't we stick with the stuff we're good at? 53 00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:13,426 Oh, my god. This bathroom is disgusting. 54 00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:16,137 The girls told me they would clean it days ago. 55 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,640 I can't yell at them about it one more time. You handle it. 56 00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:21,243 I would, but I promised Luke and Manny... 57 00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:22,869 I'd take them go—karting for their good report cards. 58 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,271 What was good about Luke's report card? 59 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,772 He didn't lose it. 60 00:02:26,856 --> 00:02:28,983 Let me take them. Yes, let me take them. 61 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:31,386 You stay here, hound the girls about cleaning up this mess, 62 00:02:31,444 --> 00:02:33,904 and I will take Luke to do something fun. 63 00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:36,073 But... I want to go go—karting. 64 00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:39,160 Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. This is happening. 65 00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:42,204 Boys. 66 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:47,335 Hey, guys, guess who's taking you go-karting today. Me. 67 00:02:47,418 --> 00:02:49,295 Why? Are we in trouble? 68 00:02:49,378 --> 00:02:51,339 No. You're not in trouble. 69 00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:53,215 Today's just all about having fun. 70 00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:55,301 And you know what? Go—karting's just the beginning. 71 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:57,803 - — What else are we doing? - Whatever you want. 72 00:02:57,887 --> 00:03:00,389 I want to bring dad. Well, tough. You can't. 73 00:03:00,473 --> 00:03:02,600 He's doing something else. 74 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,810 Good—bye. We will be back in a few hours. 75 00:03:04,894 --> 00:03:07,396 Whoa, whoa. Where are you guys going? 76 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:08,856 I am taking Alex to the movies, 77 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,358 and then I'm going to the mall. 78 00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:13,611 Oh, fun. That sounds like fun, doesn't it, Phil? 79 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,072 I'm not much of a shopper, but it would depend on... 80 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:17,907 Oh. [Whispering ] Clean the bathroom. 81 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,701 Uh, girls, how about... 82 00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:22,262 You clean your bathroom before you go? 83 00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:23,704 It'd really help your mom out. 84 00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,623 Oh, no. It's not about what mom wants. 85 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,459 Your mom is cool, very cool with whatever. 86 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,835 It's about what dad wants. 87 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:31,754 Dad wants to go go—karting. 88 00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:36,133 I would really like it if you would clean your bathroom. 89 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:38,094 But my movie— why do we have to do it now? 90 00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,096 Because Claire says so. 91 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:46,894 Because I say so and because I'm your dad... 92 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,979 And I'm older than you... 93 00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,856 And I call the shots around here. 94 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,525 Right? Yes, you do. 95 00:03:52,608 --> 00:03:53,943 This is so unfair. 96 00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:57,113 Come on, guys. Let's go have some fun. Ow! You're hurting me. 97 00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:58,906 Ow! Aw, you're fine. 98 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,711 [ Phil] Have fun, guys. Let's go, let's go! 99 00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:07,039 So... how does this usually start? 100 00:04:07,123 --> 00:04:08,999 [ Scoffs ] 101 00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:15,214 - Good morning, Mr. Pritchett. - How ya doin', sport? 102 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,384 I didn't know who that was. I never do. 103 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:21,187 At least once a month, I find a total stranger sitting in my kitchen. 104 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:23,097 Gloria collects every kind of stray... 105 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,932 Looking for work, money— You name it. 106 00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,226 She's got a big heart. 107 00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,395 It's the one thing I'd like to change about her. 108 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:30,980 [Yips] 109 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,024 Hey, a dog. That's new. 110 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,111 That was Mr. Pritchett. 111 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,280 Oh, Jay, there you are. Come. 112 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,282 I want to introduce you to Guillermo. 113 00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:42,867 Just met him. Really hit it off. 114 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,886 Keep it under a hundred bucks. You don't have to tell me. 115 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,620 I'm going golfing. No, sefior. 116 00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:49,081 He's a very nice man that works at the grocery store... 117 00:04:49,165 --> 00:04:50,875 And needs a little bit of business advice. 118 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:52,460 Why didn't you say so? 119 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,129 I thought he was just some nut who lived behind the dry cleaners. 120 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:58,716 Oh. That's the guy we bought corrective shoes for last month. 121 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,843 Jay, he knows how successful you are, 122 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:04,096 and all he wants is an hour of your time— half hour. 123 00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:06,724 Ten minutes! I promise him. 124 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,810 Honey, I love you, but why do you drag me into these things? 125 00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,604 You've got to learn to say no to people. 126 00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:14,273 Fine. Ask me if you can go golfing now. 127 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,816 Other people. 128 00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:18,027 All I want is, when I go to bed at night, 129 00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:21,822 to be laying next to a man that is generous and giving. 130 00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:25,451 And that man doesn't necessarily needs to be you. 131 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,204 Okay, let's do this. Okay. 132 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,206 Guillermo! 133 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,999 [Cameron coughing ] 134 00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,376 Do you want me to move the waste basket closer to you? 135 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:36,170 Oh, no. It's fine where it is. 136 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,839 Really? 'Cause the bed kinda looks like a Rose parade float. 137 00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:40,799 Thank you for taking care of me. 138 00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,468 Well, what else would I be doing? 139 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:44,428 Um, seeing lady gaga. That's what. 140 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:47,681 So, uh, cam, you know, I hate to bring this up, 141 00:05:47,765 --> 00:05:49,892 but what are we gonna do about that concert? 142 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:53,103 What do you mean? Well, we were both looking foward to going. 143 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,897 You were looking foward to going. 144 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,690 I was really looking foward to going. 145 00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:59,818 And I— I hate to see those tickets go to waste. 146 00:05:59,944 --> 00:06:03,322 I know, I know. [ Sighs] But what are our options? 147 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,367 We could both go to the concert— [coughing] 148 00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:09,662 But that's not gonna happen. 149 00:06:09,745 --> 00:06:12,373 Uh, or we could sell the tickets online. 150 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:15,834 Oh, but there's that craigslist killer. 151 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:18,254 Oh, what to do? What to do? What to do? What to do? 152 00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:20,714 What are the options— Other options? 153 00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:23,884 Mitchell, are you hinting that you want to go to that concert without me? 154 00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:26,053 What? No. No. 155 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,597 Not in a million years, but— [ Chuckles ] 156 00:06:28,681 --> 00:06:29,991 That's very sweet of you to offer. 157 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,725 I didn't offer. Oh, really? 158 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,495 'Cause that just seems like something that you would say. 159 00:06:33,519 --> 00:06:35,789 “You go. I'll be fine. You spent all the money on the tickets, 160 00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:37,523 and I'm just gonna lie in bed anyways.” 161 00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:40,568 That's classic cam. I'm just so weak. 162 00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:42,570 Good. You know what? It's settled. 163 00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:46,574 We're gonna put this whole “you insisting I go to the concert without you” thing behind us. 164 00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:48,951 - You know what? - What? 165 00:06:50,286 --> 00:06:52,288 Can I get one of my little pudding cups? 166 00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:55,916 Yes, you can. Yes. 167 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,794 You eat the pudding, and I'll eat the tickets. 168 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:04,925 Thank you for your time, Mr. Pritchett. 169 00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:06,760 But after you hearing my presentation, 170 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:09,096 you will be thanking me. 171 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,848 You've got confidence. I admire that. 172 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,976 He admires that, Guillermo. You're doing great. Keep going. 173 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,145 Are you aware that, last year, 174 00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:19,565 Americans spent $40 billion on dog training? 175 00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,317 Well, that's not true. 176 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,360 I was as surprised as you are. 177 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,613 No, you were surprised because it's not true. Shh. 178 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:27,823 Go on, Guillermo. 179 00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:31,243 What is this multibillion—dollar industry missing? 180 00:07:31,327 --> 00:07:32,870 Multibillion dollars. 181 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:35,998 I have devised a revolutionary way to communicate... 182 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:38,083 Listen, I hate to interrupt your big pitch, 183 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,294 but your dog is chewing my pillow. 184 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,921 - — This is fantastic. - It's not fantastic for my pillow. 185 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:46,133 It's the perfect opportunity for me to demonstrate... 186 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:49,178 The good doggy—bad doggy training system. 187 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,138 We're in! Slow down. 188 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,307 What are we gonna do about the pillow situation? 189 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,309 Watch and be amazed. 190 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,102 Stella here is being a bad doggy. 191 00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,938 [Growling] Stella, let go! Bad dog! Bad dog! 192 00:08:00,064 --> 00:08:01,815 Bad dog. [Whimpers ] 193 00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,901 And what does a bad dog get? 194 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:06,028 A bad-doggy treat. 195 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,991 You give her a treat for doing something bad? 196 00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:13,077 A bad-doggy treat. 197 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,372 When she is good, she gets the good-doggy treat. 198 00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:18,248 Brilliant! We're going to be rich! 199 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,042 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is the difference... 200 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,878 Between a bad—doggy treat and the good-doggy treat? 201 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:26,840 Bacon. The bad—doggy treat is very bland. 202 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,467 But she seems like she likes it. 203 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:30,511 Wait till you see the good-doggy treat. 204 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:32,346 Stella, sit. 205 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:34,264 Now a good—doggy treat. 206 00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,559 [ Sniffing, whimpers] 207 00:08:37,643 --> 00:08:40,270 Stella. She still full from the bad—doggy treat. 208 00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,397 But there you have it. 209 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,315 The good doggy—bad doggy training system! 210 00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:45,192 [ Laughing] 211 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,444 Welcome to the ground floor. 212 00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,208 Actually, she's peeing on the ground floor. 213 00:08:49,238 --> 00:08:51,573 Quick! Quick! Give her a bad-doggy treat! 214 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,619 [ Claire ] Hello 7 hey, it's me. Is this a bad time? 215 00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:57,079 No. I'm just in the car. 216 00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:58,872 I'm ha ving a moral dilemma. 217 00:08:58,956 --> 00:09:01,375 We have tickets for lady gaga tonight, but cam's sick. 218 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,169 - I'll take them. — you don't even like concerts. 219 00:09:04,253 --> 00:09:06,380 Yes, I do. I'm fun now. 220 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,591 Claire, they said we have to be at least 13 to ride the fast ones. 221 00:09:09,675 --> 00:09:12,553 Theyte 13. Lfsfine. [Laughs] 222 00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,221 This is very confusing. 223 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,265 At movie theaters, she says I'm 11. 224 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,308 Can we get back to me? What? 225 00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,520 Does it make me a horrible person? I kind of want to go without him. 226 00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:24,440 - Well, how sick is he? - I don't know. He's sick. 227 00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:26,418 They're not gonna make a lifetime movie about him. 228 00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:27,776 What's he like when you're sick? 229 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:31,363 Cam, I think I can walk to the kitchen. 230 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,031 Shh. [ Coughs ] 231 00:09:33,157 --> 00:09:36,034 He's okay. You should go. You know what / learned today? 232 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,912 You can't wait around for somebody to give you something you want. 233 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:40,873 Sometimes you just have to take it. 234 00:09:40,998 --> 00:09:44,334 Aw, I'm gonna feel so guilty though. You'll resent him if you stay. 235 00:09:44,418 --> 00:09:47,129 Okay. How about this? You stay home and take care of him... 236 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:50,215 Ew. Soup, foot rubs, you blow his nose. 237 00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,884 He's so lucky to have you. 238 00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,677 And then tonight, right before the concert, 239 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:56,597 you say, “cam, I love you, but I really want to go.” 240 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,975 He'll say fine, you drop Lily off at our house, and it's great. 241 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,103 [ Man on P.A. I drivers, Stan' your engines. I'm putting you on speaker. 242 00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:04,021 What are you doing? 243 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,690 Making my kids love me! 244 00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:12,279 Drivers, ready. Three, two, one! 245 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,864 [ Buzzer buzzes ] 246 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,617 You're goin' down, delgado— like this! 247 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,368 Oh! Oh! Oh! 248 00:10:18,452 --> 00:10:21,038 [ Laughing] 249 00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:26,043 Whoo! 250 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:28,837 Hey. 251 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,940 We're finished cleaning the bathroom. We're leaving. 252 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,717 See? That didn't take too long. Thank you, girls. 253 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,470 Now go and have a good time, all right? Bye. 254 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,806 See? You don't need all the conflict. 255 00:10:38,889 --> 00:10:40,641 Note to Claire. 256 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:45,562 If you want intense family drama, rent spy/dds. They saved their parents' lives. 257 00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:48,366 You think they would've done that if they got yelled at all the time? 258 00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:54,238 [Water dripping] 259 00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:02,204 Sweet and sour chicken! 260 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,081 Girls! 261 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,917 Get back— gotta fix that step. 262 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,587 - Girls! - Did hejust yell? 263 00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,798 Drive! I'm trying! 264 00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:15,050 You girls get back here right now! 265 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,237 [Alex] Pretend you don't hear him. I know you can hear me! 266 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:19,030 Oh, my god! He's coming towards the car! Oh, my god! 267 00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:22,307 [ Both screaming ] Stop this car! 268 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,017 We're sorry, dad. We couldn't hear you! 269 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:25,853 No more lies! 270 00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:27,980 You poked the bear, girls! 271 00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,773 You poked him! 272 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:32,401 In closing, the only real question is... 273 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,987 After you invest in good doggy-bad doggy... 274 00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,780 How will we spend all our money? 275 00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,323 In handbags! 276 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,451 No. Vacation! Ay, no. A home gym! All right. 277 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,996 Guillermo, your ambition is infectious. 278 00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:47,416 Clearly, my wife needs to be inoculated. 279 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,960 But I'm gonna be blunt. Ay, no, no. You're not going to. 280 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,921 Yes, I am. Now, you wanted my honest business advice, right? 281 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,090 Very much. Here it is. 282 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,676 Your idea is not good. 283 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,426 No, what Jay means is that— what I mean is it stinks. 284 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,933 That's nothing against you. 285 00:12:05,017 --> 00:12:08,562 You've got charm, you've got ambition, and that's great. 286 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,898 What you need is a better idea. 287 00:12:10,981 --> 00:12:12,733 But I don't have a better idea. 288 00:12:12,816 --> 00:12:15,152 Any idea would be a better idea. 289 00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,280 Your honesty is refreshing. 290 00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:19,197 Gracias. 291 00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,033 Now you made him cry. 292 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,284 He's not crying. 293 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:23,994 You're not crying, are you? [Crying] No. 294 00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:27,331 A little. 295 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:30,542 It's just— five years of my life are for nothing. 296 00:12:30,626 --> 00:12:33,378 Five? Five years? 297 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,422 Ay. Guillermo, I'm sorry. 298 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,215 Why don't you stay for lunch... 299 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:40,260 And we can all brainstorm your next idea. 300 00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:41,929 Really? 301 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,847 Thank you, Gloria. 302 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,265 I go put Stella in the car. 303 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:48,769 I don't want to ruin any more of your beautiful things. 304 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:50,187 Gracias. 305 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,688 Bad dog. [Whimpers ] 306 00:12:53,065 --> 00:12:54,524 Why were you so tough with him? 307 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:57,110 - — He's very sensitive. - Did you think that was a good idea? 308 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:59,279 Of course not, but I'm nice... 309 00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:00,906 And I put on the sugar jacket. 310 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,950 Sugarcoating is not gonna help him. 311 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,869 He needed to hear what I said to him, even if it hurt a little bit. 312 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,496 He's gonna thank me one day. 313 00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:11,124 [Engine Stan's ] la y! Jgui/lermo! 314 00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:13,210 - — Now I have to apologize. - Accepted. 315 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,295 Not to you! 316 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,804 [ Claire ] What are you gonna get, Luke? 317 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,014 I want a cheeseburger. Yeah! 318 00:13:26,098 --> 00:13:28,684 And I can't decide between French fries or onion rings. 319 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,061 Get 'em both! How about you, Manny? 320 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,605 Um, do you have a skinless, grilled chicken breast? 321 00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:36,009 What, are you going to the ball, cinderella? Live a little. 322 00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:40,988 I know Claire was trying to be fun, but that crossed the line. 323 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,948 Anything else? Who wants a milk shake? 324 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,950 Milk shake, milk shake. Three milk shakes. 325 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,753 [ I uke ] I didn't really want a milk shake. 326 00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,870 But after what she said to Manny, 327 00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,789 I didn't want to risk it. 328 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,666 Mom, I don't feel good. 329 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,501 Did you finish your milk shake? 330 00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,294 I think that was the problem. 331 00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,005 Look who's a doctor now. 332 00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,465 - — Maybe it was the pie. - Oh, he's fine. 333 00:14:00,549 --> 00:14:04,594 Hey. Hey! Who likes roller coasters? 334 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,723 I need a bag. No. No, you're not gonna be sick, Luke. 335 00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:10,684 We're having fun. Okay. 336 00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:13,478 No, I really need a bag. 337 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,272 Take the lid off the cup. 338 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,568 [Tape ripping ] 339 00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:21,778 [Whimpering] I'm starving. 340 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,406 Me too. Say something. 341 00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:28,285 Um, dad? We haven't had lunch yet. 342 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,078 Neither have half the kids in Africa. 343 00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:32,664 Stop yapping and get back to work. 344 00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:34,416 Why is he taping our laptop shut? 345 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,019 [Whispering ] Because he's out of his mind. 346 00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:38,211 I'm not out of my mind! 347 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:40,922 You took advantage and you lost your computer privileges. 348 00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:43,467 Come on, dad. We said we're sorry. 349 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,094 Plus I can't get this stupid drain unclogged anyways. 350 00:14:46,178 --> 00:14:49,014 - — Stick that hanger down there. - Ew! No! 351 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:52,035 It's either that or we cutoff all your hair, 'cause that's what caused the problem. 352 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,185 Thoughts? [Sighs] 353 00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:54,978 Good. 'Cause after you finish this room, 354 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:56,563 you're gonna clean my bathroom too. 355 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:59,066 - And you know how gross I can be. - [ Both whimpering] 356 00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,818 Oh, my gosh. 357 00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,236 [Whimpering] Oh, my gosh! 358 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,864 Ew! Gross! All right. 359 00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:09,034 [ Shrieking ] Settle down. It's hair. 360 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:12,871 [ Shrieking continues] 361 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:14,414 Oh, my god! 362 00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:16,208 [ Crying ] I'm not cut out for this. 363 00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:18,210 I spent all day nursing cam. 364 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:21,588 Oh. Okay, could you do the right one now? 365 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,049 You mean the one we started with? Sure. 366 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:26,551 [Sigh' oh! Mg] 367 00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,720 I made soup. I made tea. 368 00:15:28,804 --> 00:15:32,390 Finally, it was the moment of truth. 369 00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:35,310 Cam, you know, I was thinking that— [snoring quietly] 370 00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:47,072 [Whispering ] Cam, you can say no, 371 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:51,284 but I was thinking about maybe going to that concert. 372 00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,370 Thank you. You're the best. I love you. 373 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,172 Hey, you're back. What happened with your friend? 374 00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:06,216 He's fine. You were right. 375 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,052 He did appreciate your honesty. How about that? 376 00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:12,556 He's gonna make big changes to his life. Good. 377 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,307 He's going back to school. 378 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:17,310 That means he has to go back to live with his sister, 379 00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:20,188 so that means that he had to get rid of the dog. 380 00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,440 But he's so much more realistic now. 381 00:16:22,566 --> 00:16:24,067 See that? Mmm. 382 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,986 And there's a lesson in there for you too. 383 00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:28,238 'Cause sometimes things go better when you just say no. 384 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:29,948 [ Stella barks ] 385 00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,825 No, no, no. What did you do? 386 00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:35,829 Ay. He was going to take her to the pound. That's his business. 387 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,540 No. A y. But look at her little face. 388 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:42,460 You don't even want a dog. I know. I have a problem. 389 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,230 [ Vehicle approaching] Oh, crap. That's Manny. 390 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,548 If he sees the dog, it's all over. I go lock the door. 391 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:50,093 And that's the solution— Manny sleeps in the backyard till the dog dies of old age? 392 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,220 [ Door closes ] Hey, guys, I'm home. 393 00:16:52,304 --> 00:16:56,266 Boy, I think Claire's working through some stuff because... 394 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,227 Oh, my gosh! You got me a dog because of my perfect report card? 395 00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:00,854 Gloria. 396 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:03,982 [ Exhales ] Sorry, pap/z no. 397 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,193 The dog lives somewhere else, 398 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:07,944 which is where she's going right now. 399 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,197 Text me the address. Okay. 400 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:14,201 Can I at least take a moment with her to tell her good-bye? 401 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,244 Tell her good—bye? You just met her. 402 00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:19,664 I'm so sorry. 403 00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:22,417 Luke, honey, come back. I said I was sorry. 404 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,669 I'm 12. I need limits. 405 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:28,089 What happened? — I made them drive too fast and eat like vikings. 406 00:17:28,173 --> 00:17:30,258 And then Luke threw up all over the car. 407 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,594 I gotta go clean that up. No, you don't. 408 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:36,389 Girls! Grab your buckets and meet me by the car. 409 00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:39,226 They don't have to do that. They do if I say so. 410 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:43,188 I'm sorry. I swear I just told you to grab your buckets! 411 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,899 - [Alex, whimpering ] We haven't eaten all day. - We're hungry. 412 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:48,902 You won't be in a minute. Honey, you haven't fed them all day? 413 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,863 They're monsters, Claire... 414 00:17:51,947 --> 00:17:54,282 Deceitful, manipulative monsters. 415 00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,743 And they need to be broken. 416 00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,119 He's crazy. 417 00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,913 You know what? Mom's the crazy one. 418 00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,665 She ran over my hand. 419 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,416 We were having fun. 420 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,460 Girls, go to the kitchen. Get something to eat. 421 00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:09,631 Phh, honey, this isn't working. Listen to me. 422 00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:11,925 You are not a good bad cop, 423 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,010 and I'm a very bad good cop. 424 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:15,934 We need things to go back to the way they were. 425 00:18:15,971 --> 00:18:17,555 Yeah. Yeah. 426 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:20,016 I feel really shaky. Mm-hmm. 427 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,519 I don't like being you. Oh. 428 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:26,648 Nobody does. 429 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,277 [ Cam ] Going somewhere? 430 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,487 Cam. You're up. 431 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,447 Didn't count on that, did you? 432 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:37,575 You dropping Lily off at your sister's, or is she taking my ticket? 433 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,703 Okay, first of all, how are you standing? 434 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,806 You drank enough of that cough syrup to put down a grizzly. 435 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:45,583 I'll tell you what's grisly. That is your behavior. 436 00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,669 Well, it's just a good thing I'm finding out now, 437 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:51,881 instead of when I'm old and sick and really need you. 438 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,968 Better start saving for some sort of home health care plan, 439 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,804 because I'd hate for my broken hip and subsequent pneumonia... 440 00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,765 To interfere with your evening plans. 441 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,518 [Coughing] Okay, cam. No, you're right. 442 00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:07,063 You're right. I have no defense. I am terrible. 443 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,983 And the thing is I knew I was terrible, and I was going anyway. 444 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,068 I think maybe I tried to justify it... 445 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:14,029 By saying we're two different people. 446 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:17,657 And you're more of a caregiver, and I have... other strengths. 447 00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:20,660 And that's what makes us such a good couple, you know? But... 448 00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:24,080 No, no. It's a cop—out. I've been very selfish, 449 00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:26,499 and I need to do better, and I will. 450 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:30,253 - I swear on Lily's— - [ Snoring ] 451 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,299 Diaper bag. 452 00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,968 [Snoring continues] 453 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:39,346 [Dog barking /n distance ] 454 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:42,849 [Siren wailing /n distance ] 455 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,601 Ah. Wow. 456 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,771 No place to go but up, huh? 457 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,525 Don't look at me like that. 458 00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:55,320 We all got problems. 459 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,113 [Whimpers ] 460 00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:59,115 This ain't gonna work, sweetie. 461 00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,451 That look ain't gonna work on me. Come on. 462 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:04,704 Come on. Let's go. 463 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:09,209 I know it's old—fashioned, but I like a strong man... 464 00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:11,836 A man that can say no when I can't. 465 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,047 [ Door opens ] 466 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,509 [ Door closes ] 467 00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:22,389 Not a word. Oh. 468 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:26,601 Oh, yes! 469 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,561 But instead, I have Jay. 470 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:31,231 I'm strong, 471 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,316 but look at this face. 472 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,401 Mmm! 473 00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:36,084 [ Gloria ] Maybe we are the way we are... 474 00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:38,530 Because of the people we 're with. Shh. 475 00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:41,241 Or maybe we just pick the people we need. 476 00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,910 However it works, when you find each other, 477 00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,495 you should never let go. 478 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,914 Mmm, mmm, mmm! Do you two need some time alone? 479 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,833 [Chuckling] 480 00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:01,719 Oh. Wow. I must have dozed off. 481 00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:03,155 Yeah. You were out for quite a while. 482 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,931 What have you been up to? 483 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,766 I've just been sitting here watching you. 484 00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:10,228 Mmm. Well, I'm gonna go to bed. 485 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,480 Okay. 486 00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:14,357 [ Kisses ] 487 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:15,942 Thanks for staying home with me. 488 00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:18,069 Well, you know— in sickness and in health. Right? 489 00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:20,238 You're still blinking, sweetie. 490 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,616 Oh, no. Oh, gosh. 491 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,660 [ Forced laugh ] Oh. Oh, this is funny. 492 00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:29,372 I'm gonna tell you the funny thing about why this is on. This is on. 493 00:21:34,252 --> 00:21:35,253 English - us - psdh