1 00:00:02,003 --> 00:00:05,631 [ Man ] We 're beginning our initial descent into Jackson hole, Wyoming. 2 00:00:05,715 --> 00:00:07,234 Thank you for f/y/ng united. [Chime sounds] 3 00:00:07,258 --> 00:00:08,759 Reckon we'll be iandin' soon. 4 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,803 Phil, honey, you promised. Not till we got there. 5 00:00:10,887 --> 00:00:12,221 Okay. 6 00:00:12,305 --> 00:00:15,516 This year, we're goin' to a dude ranch with the whole family. 7 00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,102 Mm-hmm. The family. 8 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,937 What if Dylan buys his own ticket? 9 00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:22,398 We'll be sleeping in separate cabins. 10 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,735 What if Dylan and I share a horse? 11 00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:27,987 Mmm. I hate landing. 12 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,783 We'll get through this. 13 00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:35,578 [ Haley] Wow. It's so pretty here. 14 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,622 What are you doin'? 15 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,457 I want my ears to pop. 16 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,751 Try putting a little Rouge on 'em. 17 00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:43,711 Nobody gets me. 18 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,922 Wow! Isn't this beautiful, little cowgirl? 19 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,609 You hate her sparkly outfit, don't you? No, I told you, it's fine. 20 00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:50,551 I just didn't like you wearing a matching one. 21 00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:54,430 So we haven't told the family yet, but we've decided to adopt a baby boy. 22 00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:57,141 From america this time. You might say we're buying domestic. 23 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:58,976 In private. You might say that in private. 24 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,038 Our adoption attorney told us it would be a good idea... 25 00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:03,231 To make a photo book to show prospective moms. 26 00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,942 Yes. But he thought that cam's version was a little too “artsy,” 27 00:01:06,025 --> 00:01:09,862 so we've decided to take a few rugged shots at the ranch to, you know, balance it out. 28 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,989 I don't think it needs balancing out. Really? 29 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,242 W [disco ] 30 00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:16,535 It's called production value. 31 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:20,248 ,/' hey, neyj 32 00:01:20,331 --> 00:01:22,333 ,/' hey, neyj 33 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,377 ,/' hey, neyj 34 00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:26,587 ,/' hey, neyj 35 00:01:26,671 --> 00:01:27,672 j“ hey if 36 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:32,677 [horse whinnies] 37 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,262 Look. A horse! 38 00:01:34,345 --> 00:01:37,306 [ Loudly] Look, Jay! So beautiful! 39 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:39,267 Your ears haven't popped yet, huh? 40 00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:41,435 I'm like the horse whisperer! 41 00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:44,522 But something is making this one skittish! 42 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,774 [ Dylan ] Whoa. Look at the mountains. 43 00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:48,317 [ Haley] They're amazing. 44 00:01:48,401 --> 00:01:51,195 I've never been this far from home before. 45 00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:53,322 Now I've never been this far. 46 00:01:53,406 --> 00:01:55,283 Now I've never been this far. 47 00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:57,326 Where's a cliff when you need one? 48 00:01:57,410 --> 00:02:00,079 [Jay] Look, kids! A real—life cowboy! 49 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,164 [ Claire ] Come over. Come see, come see. 50 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,604 [Claire] Uh—oh. [ Luke I what's he doing? 51 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,628 Oh, my. 52 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,300 [Jay] Ooh! [All exclaiming] 53 00:02:12,383 --> 00:02:14,677 [Applauding ] [ Claire ] Yeah! 54 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:16,762 My name is Hank. 55 00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:18,556 Here at the lost creek ranch, 56 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,809 you're gonna ride and you're gonna rope and you're gonna shoot. 57 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:27,064 You're gonna see a sky so full of stars, it'll put your city lights to shame. 58 00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:30,651 And when it's all done, you might just encounter... 59 00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:33,654 A piece of yourselves you never knew was there. 60 00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,197 Are there any questions? 61 00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:37,950 Do we book spa treatments through you or... 62 00:02:38,034 --> 00:02:40,328 I like you, kid. 63 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:42,621 I'm gonna call you Hollywood. 64 00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:45,041 Th-that wasn't an answer. 65 00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:47,877 And who's this cactus flower? 66 00:02:48,002 --> 00:02:50,755 What? That's my wife, Gloria. 67 00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,174 Well, she's cactus flower now, old-timer. 68 00:02:53,257 --> 00:02:56,302 These nicknames— Are they set in stone? 69 00:02:56,385 --> 00:03:00,056 Okeydokey. You ready, gunslinger? 70 00:03:00,139 --> 00:03:03,100 Heard word of trouble in these parts. 71 00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:05,061 Pull! 72 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,941 - — That oughta fix it, eh, Jay? - You got a piece of it. 73 00:03:12,318 --> 00:03:15,279 I've been practicing like crazy— All my cowboy skills. 74 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:18,115 Shootin', ropin', pancake eatin'. 75 00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:21,786 Why? Because sometimes, I feel like Jay doesn't respect me as a man. 76 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,038 It's just that when you say “Phil is my son-in-law,” 77 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,832 it sounds like you're saying, “Phyllis,” comma, “my son-in-law.” 78 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,959 That's ridiculous. Okay, who's your son-in-law? 79 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:30,669 Phil is. 80 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:33,798 I'm not asking for a hug. I just want to get that look of newfound respect. 81 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,633 Like— [chuckling ] Oh! 82 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,385 Or... 83 00:03:38,803 --> 00:03:42,681 Or— mmm. Yeah. 84 00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:46,352 Check it out. Two birds, one leg. 85 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:48,354 Pull it! 86 00:03:51,524 --> 00:03:54,068 - — Not bad, eh, old—timer? - Huh? 87 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:57,988 See, slappy only had three fingers. 88 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:02,451 - What? - He only had three fingers! 89 00:04:02,535 --> 00:04:03,786 [Gloria laughing] 90 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,430 [ Hank] Who's next? [Mitchell] Oh, me, me. 91 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,790 Oh, this is good. This is good. 92 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,460 Tre's macho. 93 00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:13,212 No smile. Don't smile. Good. 94 00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:14,755 [ Camera beeps ] [Hank] You ready? 95 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,882 Wait, do I say “pull”? [All shouting] 96 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,509 Sorry, sorry. Whoa! 97 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:22,513 Mitchell, why don't you go find Manny at the spa? 98 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,266 Wouldn't that be more fun? 99 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,309 Yeah. 100 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:30,813 I realized that if I was gonna raise a boy, I needed to butch up my life. 101 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:35,317 You know, I wanted to be able to teach my son all the things that my dad taught Claire. 102 00:04:45,703 --> 00:04:48,414 Hey, Hollywood. I don't love that. 103 00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,666 - — You wanna see something? - [Zipper opens] 104 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:54,170 Oh, my gosh! Is that a firecracker? Shh! 105 00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:56,755 Now I just need to find the perfect thing to blow up. 106 00:04:56,839 --> 00:05:00,384 - Is that thing even legal? - Not here. It's from Germany. 107 00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:03,679 If they had this during the war, right now we'd all be knee-deep in strudel. 108 00:05:03,762 --> 00:05:05,264 [Zipper closes] 109 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,897 - — Watch it! - What ya doin', eh? 110 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,815 Youreadnf? Twmgm. 111 00:05:14,899 --> 00:05:17,234 - — I'm not so good at it either. - I'm not surprised. 112 00:05:17,318 --> 00:05:18,819 That was a joke. 113 00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:20,863 I'm Jimmy scrivano. 114 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,783 You want to see me do a cannonball? 115 00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:28,037 I'd rather see you get hit by one. Hah! 116 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,289 Good one, gorgeous. 117 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:36,128 Hyah! [ Mooing ] 118 00:05:36,212 --> 00:05:38,797 Jay! Is this like the lobster? 119 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:42,968 Do I get to pick one for dinner? Because this one looks very tender! 120 00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:46,013 Look alive, old-timer! One of your calves is gettin' away. 121 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,057 Somethin' wrong with my horse. She's veering left. 122 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,184 When this happened to my uncle, it was a stroke. 123 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:53,729 Oh, there's nothin' wrong with buttercup. You just gotta let her know who's boss. 124 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,982 Beautiful form, cactus flower! 125 00:05:57,066 --> 00:06:00,444 Beautiful! You look like a dadgum conquistadora. 126 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,112 She's deaf, but I can hear ya. 127 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,697 Why are you riding that way? 128 00:06:03,781 --> 00:06:05,908 I was afraid that cow over there might bite me. 129 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:09,703 Oh, yes, he's gonna come up and bite you because your leg looks so desirable with those... 130 00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:11,580 Are those canvas? 131 00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:13,475 Okay, Phil, ease that one back over towards me. 132 00:06:13,499 --> 00:06:15,000 Got it. Ease him back this way. 133 00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,794 Hup-hup! Hey! 134 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,754 - — Piece of cake, huh, Jay? - Huh? 135 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:21,298 - [ Hank] Ease that one over to bossy. - Which one's bossy? 136 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:23,050 [Hank] That's my nickname for your wife. 137 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,969 - — Hilarious. - [ Mock chuckling] 138 00:06:25,094 --> 00:06:27,513 Whoa. Whoa. Go, mom! Whoo! 139 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,265 Yo, mom! You rock! 140 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,225 Oh, I wish I had a rock. 141 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:34,979 Hey. It wouldn't kill you to be nice to Dylan. 142 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,855 It might. 143 00:06:36,939 --> 00:06:40,985 What— honey, I don't know why you always stick up for him. Haley can do so much better. 144 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,530 Because I know what it's like to fall for a girl whose dad thinks I'm not good enough. 145 00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:45,656 [ Groans ] 146 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,743 All right. You're right. I can make more of an effort. 147 00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:51,829 That's the woman I love. 148 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,874 We take a little break over here? Layin' some pipe? 149 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,085 No, sorry. I was just talkin' to bossy. Uh-huh. 150 00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,503 Phil! I'm sorry. 151 00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:02,715 Jay, look! I got this one! 152 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:06,135 I got this one! [Jay] She's veering left again. 153 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:09,513 When we get back, I'm gonna see if she can track a pencil with her eyes. 154 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:13,225 Okay, Lily, I'm going to push you one more time. 155 00:07:13,309 --> 00:07:15,686 Now don't kick me, okay? 156 00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:20,899 [ Screams ] 157 00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,944 Lily! I said don't kick me, okay? 158 00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:26,989 You know, it's your own fault that's happening. 159 00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:30,075 - — Why don't you try standing behind her? - You are an idiot. 160 00:07:30,159 --> 00:07:32,161 Oh, really? I ain't the one getting kicked. 161 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:35,331 Why are you following me? Why are you fighting me here, gorgeous? 162 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:37,333 This works. 163 00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:41,378 I really, really don't appreciate you calling me “gorgeous.” 164 00:07:41,462 --> 00:07:44,256 I just want to enjoy time with my family, so if you don't mind... 165 00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:46,550 Mmm— [ Stammering ] 166 00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:49,178 Not a problem. See you around, sunshine. 167 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,890 [ Giggles ] You kissed a boy! 168 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:56,602 No, the boy kissed me, okay, Lily? 169 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,187 Boy kissed me. 170 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:02,566 J' I rode a horse for the first time today 3 171 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,778 glinasntsurpnsed when it went “neigh” j'j' 172 00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:08,781 - hey, Dylan. - Hey. Ms. Dunphy. 173 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,283 I was wondering if we could have a little chat. 174 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,786 Uh— you want me to go home. 175 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:16,789 No. No, it's the— The opposite of that. 176 00:08:16,872 --> 00:08:20,376 - — I want you to go home? - Mmm. Mm-mmm. 177 00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:25,130 No, I, um— I want you to know how glad I am that you're here. 178 00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:27,007 Really? [ Exhales ] 179 00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:29,301 'Cause sometimes I just get this vibe you don't like me. 180 00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:31,845 No. Dylan, no. I'm sorry. 181 00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:36,100 I— I like you. I— I like you a lot. I just... 182 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:39,436 It's complicated, because... Haley's my daughter. 183 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,439 Whoa. Whoa, whoa. 184 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:46,068 You are totally a hot mom, but I can't do this. 185 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,488 Oh, my god! Okay. There's— no, no. 186 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:54,076 I merely meant that I'm sorry if I made you feel unwelcome. 187 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:57,705 - — Phew! That would've been awkward. - So awkward! 188 00:08:57,788 --> 00:09:00,374 You know, but for the record, Ms. Dunphy... 189 00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:01,583 Yes? 190 00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:03,460 If Haley wasn't my girlfriend, 191 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,046 and Mr. Dunphy was out of the picture, 192 00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:08,173 I would be honored to share your bed... 193 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:10,676 And raise Luke, Alex and Haley as my own. 194 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,679 Okay. 195 00:09:14,596 --> 00:09:16,265 Good talk. 196 00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:21,287 [Gloria] J' she'll be runnin' down the mountain j' 197 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,063 j' she'll be runnin' down the mountain j' 198 00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:25,065 j' she'll be runnin' down the mountain j' 199 00:09:25,149 --> 00:09:29,319 j“ she'll be runnin' down the mountain when she come j'j' 200 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:31,697 the song ended two minutes ago! 201 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:34,658 Well, I tell you what. She could play Evita. 202 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:38,203 Really? You notice the crickets left? 203 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:40,497 Anyone want more water? Oh, dad, I'll take one. 204 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,249 Heads up. 205 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,834 [Claire] Oh, my gosh. 206 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,296 It was— it was dark. I couldn't see it. Thank you. 207 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,423 So, did you set off the firecracker yet? 208 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,967 When I do, you won't have to ask. 209 00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,386 First, all the electronics will go out. 210 00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:56,555 Then comes the heat flash. 211 00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:59,600 Aftennards, the living will envy the dead. 212 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:02,853 And yet I'm the one on the no-fly list. 213 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:05,898 Know what? Maybe next time I'll just catch it and then hand it to you. 214 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,524 Oh, okay. [Giggling] 215 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,669 Yeah, let's do that. You do everything, and I'll do nothing. 216 00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:13,071 Something on your mind? This isn't the right place to talk about it. 217 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,407 Okay. 218 00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:17,034 I— I'm just... 219 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,453 I'm not sure if we should have another baby. 220 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,079 What? Are you serious? 221 00:10:21,205 --> 00:10:23,874 I think that we might be rushing into this. Rushing into it? 222 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,685 - — We've been working on— - [ Metal clanging] 223 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,754 Everybody. It's me, Dylan. 224 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:32,382 I just wanted to thank you all for bringing me on this trip... 225 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,219 And making me feel like one of the family. 226 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,971 - — Especially bossy. - Aww. 227 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:40,599 So, I can't think of a better time... 228 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:44,853 To ask something of the woman that I love. 229 00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,688 Okay. [ Nervous chuckle] 230 00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:51,109 No, no. 231 00:10:51,193 --> 00:10:55,364 Haley Gwendolyn Dunphy, will you do me the honors of being my lawfully wedded... 232 00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:59,076 No. No, no, no, no! No proposals! Not now. Not gonna happen. 233 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,828 - — She's a child, so— - Mom! 234 00:11:00,911 --> 00:11:03,372 - You're still in high school! - I meant after she graduates. 235 00:11:03,455 --> 00:11:05,749 Not then, not now, noteven 236 00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,751 seriously, what are you two gonna live off of? 237 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:10,188 The royalties from the horsey song? Put it back in your pocket. 238 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:13,173 Would you stop it! No, I won't. I won't. 239 00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:16,635 No, it's okay. I guess I'll just turn in. 240 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:20,138 Just so you know, there's a fan in my cabin that sounds like someone crying. 241 00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:22,599 Oh, god. Dylan, wait! I hate you! 242 00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:26,728 Oh, come on! Haley, get back here. Phil? Anything? 243 00:11:26,812 --> 00:11:29,690 I think you said it all, Claire. You want me to rope her? 244 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:31,984 I can, you know. 245 00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:35,612 For what it's worth, my second wife was in high school. 246 00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,303 [ Rooster crows ] [ Cameron ] Let's do it again. 247 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,664 One, two, three. Two, three. 248 00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:47,499 Gone. Ifsgone! 249 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,168 It's over there! It's not back there. 250 00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:52,087 [ Lily] We counted to three! Yes. 251 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,755 - Hey. - Where have you been? 252 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:55,549 I slept on the couch in the lodge. 253 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,570 - — I know you didn't want to have a big fight last night. - Well, I'm ready now. 254 00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:00,721 Cam, I'm sorry. 255 00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,890 Look, what if I can't do the father-son stuff? 256 00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:05,726 The hunting, the— the sports, the three stooges. 257 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:08,955 You know what happens in real life when someone gets hit in the head with a ladder? 258 00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:12,482 They go to the hospital and they get an mri. Never see that scene. 259 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:14,443 I think you're overthinking this. 260 00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:17,779 You know, I love sports. I love the stooges. We've got this covered. 261 00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:20,407 No. No, you— you've got it covered. 262 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:25,370 I'm just stuck on the sidelines, pretending to understand the rules and... 263 00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:29,750 You know, my dad was a rough and tumble guy, and ijust—! Could never relate to him. 264 00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:34,504 I don't know. I just don't think I could handle disappointing two generations. 265 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:37,799 I think you're more masculine than you give yourself credit for. 266 00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:40,344 [Chirps] Oh, god! 267 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,679 Who puts a birdhouse next to a porch? 268 00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:47,684 Claire, I know that you're worried that Dylan is gonna break Haley's heart, 269 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,854 but I see in his eyes that he's gonna stick with her forever. 270 00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:53,607 No matter what, he's always going to be with her. 271 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,776 - — On your deathbed. - Okay. All right. 272 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:58,153 I can't take this anymore. I'm gonna go find her. 273 00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,656 No. You push too hard, you chase her right into his arms. 274 00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:04,076 You'll end up with a boob for a son-in-law. Believe me, you don't want that. 275 00:13:04,159 --> 00:13:06,203 - — What's that supposed to mean? - What? 276 00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,996 Hey, have you guys seen Dylan? 277 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,665 No. No, why? I'm not talking to you. 278 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:13,126 He said he was going out for a walk last night, and no one's seen him since. 279 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,836 Sweetheart, I'm sure he's fine. 280 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,880 Maybe after last night, he just went home. 281 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,508 Doubt it. He left his luggage. We have to do something. 282 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:22,219 If he doesn't eat five times a day, he gets spacey. 283 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,972 What would that even look like? We'll find him. 284 00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:27,641 Hank? We got a situation here! 285 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:30,185 What seems to be the trouble? 286 00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:35,774 We need to talk. What? 287 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:39,111 You stole my first kiss! What are you talkin' about? 288 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,114 I had it all planned out. It was supposed to be special. 289 00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:45,867 Someone with a high gpa. And a bright future, not a Mario brother. 290 00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:48,662 Fine! You know what? I don't even want your kiss. 291 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:50,247 Here, you can have it back. 292 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,873 [ Muffled grunt] 293 00:13:51,957 --> 00:13:53,542 There. Now we're even. 294 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,585 Keep it! I don't— I don't want it anymore. 295 00:13:58,380 --> 00:13:59,965 What am I doing? 296 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:04,011 Okay, people. Looks like we have a Walker. 297 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:07,889 Right now he is facing treacherous terrain, sudden drops, 298 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:11,852 mountain lions, hungry bears— Oh, and wolverines. 299 00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:14,646 That is, if the hypothermia didn't already get him. 300 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,857 [Whispering ] Why did we come here again? 301 00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,900 So, our best bet is to split up. 302 00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:20,986 You two are gonna take to the north hiking trail. 303 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,946 Canlgo with my dad instead? Negative. 304 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:27,200 I need buffalo Phil and old—timer to check the snake river. 305 00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:28,869 Buffalo Phil. 306 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,245 Worth the wait. 307 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:33,540 Me and cactus flower will ride on up to destiny Ridge. 308 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,459 Maybe I should ride up there with her. 309 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,879 Negatory. That trail is for advanced riders only. 310 00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,715 - — We don't need another dead body. - “Another”? 311 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,633 Let's go! Move 'em out. 312 00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:48,472 Phil, help me saddle up my horse, will you? 313 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,016 Well, look who's suddenly needed by his father-in-law. 314 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,517 Phyllis. 315 00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:54,269 Phil... is. 316 00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:59,024 Hey, uncle Mitch. What ya doin'? 317 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,569 Oh, hey. Just— just thinkin'. 318 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:06,239 You know, I've been meaning to tell you, you're a super-fun uncle. 319 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:08,283 And I'm saying this as a boy. 320 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:12,120 Uncle Cameron sent you over here, didn't he? What? That's hilarious! 321 00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:14,122 No, I love how you and me can joke like this. 322 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,457 [ Chuckles ] Okay. 323 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,626 Luke, look. I don't know how much cam told you, 324 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:20,587 but I don't think this is a problem that you can help me with. 325 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:23,340 [ Sighs] Okay, good. Got my own problem. 326 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:26,593 Wh— what's that? Can you keep a secret? 327 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,721 I kept a pretty big one for 22 years, so... 328 00:15:29,805 --> 00:15:32,891 I've got this new firecracker, and I can't decide what to blow up. 329 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:36,478 Oh, Luke, that's dangerous. I know! That's what's fun about it. 330 00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,063 I don't get boys. 331 00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:40,190 What is so great about destroying things? 332 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,902 It turns stuff into flying chunks of stuff. 333 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:46,279 Okay. No. No. Give it to me. 334 00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:47,906 [ Scoffs ] Fine. 335 00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,659 I take it back. You're not that fun. 336 00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:57,874 All right. Hey, look, um... 337 00:15:57,958 --> 00:15:59,876 We'll do it together, all right? 338 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:03,463 You just made the best decision of your life. 339 00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:04,881 Okay. 340 00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:09,970 [ Grunting ] Damn it, buttercup! 341 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,264 What the hell's wrong with this horse? 342 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,183 Jay. 343 00:16:15,267 --> 00:16:17,144 Wow. 344 00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:20,067 I want to talk to you about that son—in-law crack you made at breakfast. 345 00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,816 Oh, I didn't mean anything by that! I think you did. 346 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:26,278 I get that I wasn't your first choice to marry Claire, but it's been 18 years, 347 00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:29,006 and there hasn't been a day when I wasn't a loyal husband to your daughter... 348 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,574 And a great dad to your grandkids. 349 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:33,577 So if we've still got a problem, now it's your problem. 350 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:41,918 Phil, wait up. 351 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:47,007 Can I ask you something, man to man? Okay. 352 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:50,969 You notice anything funny about that Hank character and... 353 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:52,846 Gloria? Yeah, he's hitting on her. Why? 354 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:54,264 I knew it. 355 00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:56,766 Where are you going? Destiny Ridge. 356 00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,978 Buttercup, hyah! 357 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,022 Buttercup, hyah! 358 00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:03,607 Seriously? 359 00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:07,861 Okay. Okay, it's clear. 360 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,280 After this, we're gonna have some angry birds. 361 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,950 Yeah. It's gonna be bye bye birdie. 362 00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:16,828 It's a big musical from the '60s. 363 00:17:16,912 --> 00:17:18,538 No, forget it. What you said. 364 00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:20,582 Okay. 365 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,250 [ Hissing] Okay. Go! 366 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,960 Cool! [ Chortling ] 367 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:26,046 [Bmhsmeam] [Fathop] 368 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,716 - That's it? - I'm sorry, buddy. 369 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,551 I brought that thing all the way from... 370 00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:33,511 Whoa! Whoa! 371 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:36,348 [ Both laughing ] 372 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:39,559 Cam! I did a boy thing! 373 00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:41,937 I blew up the birdhouse! You should've seen it. 374 00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,939 It was so awesome! That's great! 375 00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,941 Yeah. I think I can do this. 376 00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:49,264 I mean, maybe not everything, and maybe not right away, and not the three stooges. 377 00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,154 No. But... I do. 378 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,198 I want a son. 379 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:55,617 I'm sorry I panicked. Oh, that's great. 380 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,994 Now maybe we can go back to taking pictures for the book. 381 00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,996 Yes! Pictures of me blowing up stuff! 382 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,707 Okay. I see we've overcorrected. 383 00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:06,586 I know you think I'm the mean mom who wouldn't let you marry your boyfriend, 384 00:18:06,670 --> 00:18:09,839 but someday you're gonna realize I— I did what had to be done. 385 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,591 No, you didn't. 386 00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:14,386 I was never gonna marry Dylan. I told him no. 387 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:18,139 You did? Thank god. But it was my proposal to turn down. 388 00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:22,394 You know, you keep telling me to act like an adult, but then you don't even give me a chance. 389 00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:25,772 Well, I— You sort of got me there. 390 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,108 But, sweetheart, I don't expect you to understand this. 391 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:30,443 I certainly didn't when I was your age. 392 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:33,280 I look at you as my baby, and I always will. 393 00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:37,701 It's just what moms do. I'm not a baby anymore, okay? 394 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:40,370 And I am never gonna see Dylan again! 395 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,373 Dylan! Dylan! 396 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,083 What? 397 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:48,044 Where are you? Wyoming! 398 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:52,549 - — You're okay! - I had the craziest night. 399 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:56,136 When you rejected me, I felt lost and scared. 400 00:18:56,219 --> 00:18:58,138 And then I went out on a walk, 401 00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:00,849 and I felt a whole different kind of lost and scared. 402 00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,851 Then I fell asleep in the stable, 403 00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:07,063 and when I woke up, I met this woman named Jake, who's strong like a man. 404 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:10,775 Then we had this long talk, and he— she hired me. 405 00:19:10,859 --> 00:19:13,320 Uh, wha— what do you mean, she hired you? 406 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:16,114 I work here now. So you're staying? 407 00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:17,657 Yeah. 408 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,784 What about us? It could never work. 409 00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,828 We're from two different worlds. 410 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:25,290 You're a high school student, and I'm a ranch hand. 411 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,585 I'm just— I'm so glad you're okay. 412 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,545 I really am. I am. Thanks. 413 00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:33,048 But we're not supposed to fraternize with the guests. 414 00:19:33,131 --> 00:19:34,591 Right. 415 00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,887 Dylan! 416 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:43,224 Dylan! 417 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:46,019 You got a voice like a meadowlark, don't ya? 418 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:49,397 Dylan! 419 00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,691 I sure am worried about that kid. 420 00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:54,361 Dylan... 421 00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:57,197 He ain't down there. Oh, come on now. 422 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,658 You come up here for the cowboy experience. 423 00:20:00,742 --> 00:20:02,285 You're lookin' at him. 424 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,847 Do I look like the kind of woman that would cheat on her husband? 425 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,749 - — Yes. - Really? 426 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:12,170 Hey! Think you better move away from that woman. 427 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,381 Only we touch our women when they don't want us to. 428 00:20:14,464 --> 00:20:18,176 Easy. Easy there, friend—o. I wasn't hittin' on this filly. 429 00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:20,470 This is all part of the package. 430 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,597 If I didn't play the bad guy, 431 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,891 he wouldn't get to ride up and be the big hero. 432 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:28,353 He doesn't need you to make him a hero. He's a hero every day! 433 00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,979 Why don't you do us all a favor? 434 00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,503 Get back on your horse, ride down to the lodge and tell 'em... 435 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:35,193 Can you keep him still? I'm trying to make a point. I am. 436 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:37,987 Okay, okay, I'm gone. Ma'am. 437 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,657 Wait. 438 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,618 Wait! There's something I want to say to you. 439 00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:46,222 I will only be checking “somewhat satisfied” on our comment card. 440 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,330 Oh, geez. 441 00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:49,999 I mean, he was great with the kids. 442 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:55,672 I looked it up. 443 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:59,300 The distance between our houses is 2,443 miles. 444 00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:02,512 Yeah, but on some maps it's, like, this big. 445 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,848 God, you're stupid. 446 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:10,562 [ Pm] All in all, it was a great vacation. 447 00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:12,647 We may ha ve lost a man, 448 00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:18,611 but out there on the range, under that great big sky, 449 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:22,157 we found a pan' of ourselves we never knew was there. 450 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,701 Just like the horny cowboy said we would. 451 00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,871 No. Oh, fine. 452 00:21:35,253 --> 00:21:36,254 English - us - psdh