1 00:00:03,087 --> 00:00:04,964 Oh, I hope tad likes salmon. 2 00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:06,841 It's a bit of a risk serving fish... 3 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,467 To a first-time diner at Dunphy's. 4 00:00:08,551 --> 00:00:10,553 Maybe I should marinate a steak for backup. 5 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:12,430 I think someone has a man crush. 6 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,553 First of all, I would never date a potential client. 7 00:00:14,599 --> 00:00:16,142 That's first of all. 8 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:18,936 Secondly, I really need this to go well so he makes me his realtor. 9 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:22,064 This guy's flippin' properties like they're extras in a kung fu movie. 10 00:00:22,148 --> 00:00:24,042 So you're just kissing up to this guy for his money. 11 00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:25,526 Not just. I really like him. 12 00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:29,405 He travels the world doing charity work, rock climbs, flies planes. 13 00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:31,407 How does he have time to do all that? 14 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:33,367 Got divorced and his whole life opened up. 15 00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,286 Guy's iivin' the dream. 16 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:39,415 His dream. Not my dream. 17 00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,958 I'm living my dream. 18 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,793 You're my dream. You can stop. 19 00:00:43,628 --> 00:00:45,379 I so don't want to do this. 20 00:00:45,463 --> 00:00:48,507 Recently, Haley got a little creative on one of her college applications... 21 00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:51,177 And listed herself as a big sister. 22 00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:53,679 Technically, I am a big sister. 23 00:00:53,763 --> 00:00:55,598 She capitalized the “b” and the s.' 24 00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:57,683 which makes sense, 'cause it was. 25 00:00:57,808 --> 00:01:00,353 So Claire and I suggested that— forced. 26 00:01:00,436 --> 00:01:03,606 That she volunteer for the organization. 27 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:06,025 We couldn't be prouder. 28 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,152 We could. A little bit. 29 00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,613 Hey, dad, did you accidentally leave... 30 00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:13,241 This hilarious book of lawyer jokes in the guest room? 31 00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:15,177 I'll tell you if you can answer the following question: 32 00:01:15,201 --> 00:01:18,204 What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? 33 00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,288 I don't know. What? 34 00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:21,249 Well, one's a bottom-feeding mud dweller. 35 00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:22,833 The other's a fish. 36 00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:25,419 Zing! Aaah. 37 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:28,422 Okay, everyone, dinner is served. Let's get it. 38 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,192 Our house is being fumigated, so Jay and Gloria... 39 00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:32,260 Invited us to stay here for a few days. 40 00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:35,096 I'm very excited to have 72 hours with this one. 41 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:36,806 We don't get to spend much time together, 42 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:40,893 so I know that we're gonna be like, um— um... 43 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,354 Fred and ginger? Who? 44 00:01:45,106 --> 00:01:48,693 Movbrflghfl 45 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:52,238 It's noisier than usual around here. 46 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:54,365 Oh, gosh. 47 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,118 ,/' hey, heyj 48 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,245 ,/' hey, heyj 49 00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,247 ,/' hey, heyj 50 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,165 ,/' hey, heyj 51 00:02:03,249 --> 00:02:04,709 j“ hey if 52 00:02:08,087 --> 00:02:09,672 tad, this wine is fantastic. 53 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,257 Spend a week in mendoza, 54 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,509 and you'll find a dozen or so malbec producers... 55 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:16,846 That'll give most Bordeaux a real run for their money. Hmm. 56 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,222 I'm sorry. 57 00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:21,350 This should come with a warning: “May cause pretentiousness.” 58 00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:24,312 You should come with a warning: “May be fascinating.” 59 00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:25,771 Oh! Oh, gosh. 60 00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:28,566 Oh, that's like the ninth time this screw has popped out. 61 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:31,378 Oh, you know what? I need the angled screwdriver. I left it at the office. 62 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:35,197 I, um— I keep it there because of all my signs. 63 00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,907 If I, uh, putup a “for sale” sign, 64 00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:40,036 and next day, of course, I gotta put up that “sold” banner. Yeah. 65 00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:41,579 Then next day, same deal. 66 00:02:41,704 --> 00:02:43,164 For sale, sold. Mm-hmm. 67 00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:46,042 For sale, sold. For sale, sold. Great, great salesman. 68 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,585 I'm getting that. For sale, sold. 69 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,129 Right. Listen, I gotta go relieve the babysitter. 70 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:54,342 My ex—wife took 50% of my stuff and left me 100% of my kids. 71 00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:56,052 They're great. 72 00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:58,929 Hey, listen, um, thank you sornuchforconflng. Yeah. 73 00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,682 Oh, no, thank you, Phil, so much for the salmon... 74 00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:04,518 And the steak and the chicken and the shrimp. 75 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,163 I mean, it was all just delicious. Great. 76 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,606 Oh. This guy is very lucky to have you. 77 00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,734 Okay. Thanks yeah. 78 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,654 Ahnght 79 00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,198 Let me grab that. 80 00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:19,116 Bye—bye. Bye-bye. 81 00:03:22,495 --> 00:03:24,789 Did you see that? — a handshake that almost became a hug? 82 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,583 Yeah, I saw it. I lived it. I think I'm in. 83 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,251 No, honey. He kissed me on the lips. 84 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:31,879 Another good sign! It's not a good sign. 85 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,714 Sweetie, you don't think that's weird? 86 00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:36,384 The guy's a world traveler. He has a time—share in Costa Rica. 87 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:37,861 That's probably how they do it there. 88 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,304 Oh, no, honey. It felt like he lingered. 89 00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:42,473 It's a progressive culture. 90 00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,058 Most of 'em travel by zip line. 91 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,476 Mmm. 92 00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:48,229 Biscuits and gravy? 93 00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:51,607 Yep. My grandma bitsy's secret recipe, given to her... 94 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:54,860 By her housekeeper, Delilah, who raised her and was her best friend. 95 00:03:54,944 --> 00:03:56,862 Kind of like the help, except Delilah was white, 96 00:03:56,946 --> 00:04:00,408 and was actually herself quite the racist. 97 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:01,534 Eatup. 98 00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:02,952 Good morning! 99 00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:03,994 Hi, mom. Hi, sweetheart. 100 00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,330 Ah. Where did those come from? 101 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:09,166 - Yeah, I thought amaryllis were out of season. - Oh, I got a guy. 102 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,812 You know, I just thought they'd brighten up the house a little bit. 103 00:04:11,836 --> 00:04:13,838 Oh, that was so thoughtful of you. 104 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:17,091 I didn't realize that my house needed brightening up. 105 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,509 There she is! 106 00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,261 Gloria, Gloria! 107 00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,054 Let me fix your hair. 108 00:04:22,138 --> 00:04:25,182 Oh, well, isn't that sweet. 109 00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,436 I didn't realize her hair was broken. 110 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,729 Oh, that smells delicious, but nothing for me. 111 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,273 I've got an early work lunch. 112 00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:35,568 Really? I didn't hear an ambulance. 113 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:38,446 Yeah, it's funny because it's what I've dedicated my life to. 114 00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:40,632 Oh, is this that meeting with the deejay with the funny name? 115 00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:42,116 - — Booker bell. - Booker bell. 116 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,951 - — Booker bell? - Everybody now! 117 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,786 Booker bell was only the greatest deejay... 118 00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:47,496 In the history of drive time radio. 119 00:04:47,580 --> 00:04:49,641 Yeah, well, now he has some wetlands that developers want, 120 00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:51,685 and we're trying to get him to donate for preservation. 121 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:54,521 When I was on the road selling, I used to listen to booker all the time. 122 00:04:54,545 --> 00:04:56,305 He practically invented the prank phone call. 123 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,633 Okay. Wish me luck. Good luck, sweetie. 124 00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:02,678 Booker would play a prank, the sucker would be twisting in the wind, 125 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:04,406 and just when you couldn't stand it anymore, 126 00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,765 he'd say, “guess who just got their bell rung?” 127 00:05:06,891 --> 00:05:08,410 God, I'd love to meet him. 128 00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:10,579 Oh, they're just goin' down to Ray's. You should pop down. 129 00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:12,688 I'm sure he'd love to meet a fan. I don't know. 130 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:16,108 I met boz scaggs once. Got all tongue—tied. Oh, you'll be fine. 131 00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:18,611 Oh— oh, Lily, it's time for school, sweetie. 132 00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:21,363 Oh, I can take her. Yay! Yay! 133 00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:23,782 Oh. That'd be great. 134 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:26,118 Yeah, that'd give me some more time to clean the kitchen. 135 00:05:26,202 --> 00:05:28,037 Maybe do a little dusting. 136 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,748 - Delicious, cam. - Mm-hmm. 137 00:05:33,918 --> 00:05:35,419 Annie was amazing. 138 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,796 So funny and cute and sweet. 139 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,341 - — Yeah, you've said. - She made this for me last night. 140 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:41,926 Look how she signs her name... 141 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,802 With that big loopy a. 142 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,055 I'm totally going to frame this. 143 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:48,098 I made this for Haley four years ago. 144 00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:51,977 You think this got framed? 145 00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:54,605 She tossed it in the garbage... 146 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:58,400 Right after she wrote “Mrs. Haley Jonas brothers” on it, like, 30 times. 147 00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:01,654 The tax write-off alone makes financial sense, 148 00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,632 you know, even if you take the environment out of it. 149 00:06:03,656 --> 00:06:05,217 Well, don't take the environment out of it. 150 00:06:05,241 --> 00:06:07,159 Without the wetlands, there's no ducks. 151 00:06:07,243 --> 00:06:09,262 Without the ducks, there's nothing for me to shoot at. 152 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,264 Okay, well, we're shootin' from two different angles, 153 00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,958 but, uh, hopefully we'll end up at the same place. 154 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,417 Mitch. Dad. 155 00:06:15,501 --> 00:06:18,546 I just had to stop down and meet this guy. 156 00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:20,089 Booker bell, I'm boz scaggs... 157 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:22,758 No, I mean— Jay pritchett, damn it! 158 00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,778 - — It's nice to meet you. - This is such an honor. 159 00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:28,556 - — You are hands—down my favorite radio personality of all time. - That's kind of you to say. 160 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:30,199 Okay. Well, thanks for stopping by, dad. 161 00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:32,452 I gotta tell you one thing. I'll see you back at the house. 162 00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:35,271 One time, when I was driving from youngstown to sugar creek, 163 00:06:35,354 --> 00:06:37,398 you called this guy at a kitty litter company... 164 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:39,417 And you asked him to bring over 900 pounds of litter. 165 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:42,528 And in the background, you heard all these lions roarin' and... 166 00:06:46,657 --> 00:06:49,410 I— I laughed so hard, I almost had an accident. 167 00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:50,661 The car or you? 168 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,540 Funny as ever. Anyway... 169 00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,423 Hey, are you still in touch with the old gang? 170 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,168 Grandma groovy? Spaceman Clyde? 171 00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,629 - Are you kiddin'? I am the old gang. - No way. 172 00:07:00,713 --> 00:07:03,215 I may be old, but I still know how to boogie. 173 00:07:03,299 --> 00:07:04,883 My god, it's like she's here! 174 00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:06,594 She is here. 175 00:07:06,719 --> 00:07:08,572 How are you still not getting this? 176 00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:10,556 That's her. Excuse me for a second. 177 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:14,476 What are you doing? What? I'm a fan. 178 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:17,104 I came down to say hi. This is a business meeting. 179 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:19,607 Do you have any idea how inappropriate this is? 180 00:07:19,690 --> 00:07:21,918 No. No, of course you don't, because as far as you're concerned, 181 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:25,237 all a lawyer does is walk into a bar with a rabbi and a polar bear. 182 00:07:26,864 --> 00:07:30,242 Grizzly, 'cause othennise, when the bartender says— dad, I'm working! 183 00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,536 You're embarrassing both of us. Please, you gotta go. 184 00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:36,123 All right, I didn't realize that. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't. 185 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:37,666 I'm sorry. Go. 186 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:40,336 Hey. 187 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:43,672 Hey, where's my stalker? Oh, he's gone. Got rid of him. 188 00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,924 Sorry that he attacked you like that. 189 00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:48,552 Attacked? Nah. I don't mind a little smoke up my bloomers. 190 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:51,096 Well, I just thought since this was a business meeting... 191 00:07:51,180 --> 00:07:54,558 And you thought maybe having somebody make me feel good would wreck it? 192 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:57,311 There's—there's been a lot of tension between me and my dad. 193 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:59,396 I'm actually staying at his house, and it's just... 194 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,761 Oh, so you chased away a man who's opened his home to you. 195 00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,860 I get the sense that I'm losing you. 196 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,196 Could I talk to grandma groovy? 197 00:08:07,279 --> 00:08:09,114 Honey, I'm home. 198 00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,158 Well, I didn't expect you so early, dear. 199 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,618 What? You? 200 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:15,162 Yeah, look who came by to fix the table. 201 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,664 Well, I had some time to kill, 202 00:08:16,789 --> 00:08:19,333 so I thought I'd drop by with that tool your wife needed. Mmm. 203 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,294 - Wow. What a guy. - Mm-hmm. He also brought some wine. 204 00:08:22,378 --> 00:08:24,171 Well, you said you liked it last night, 205 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,094 so I had a couple extra bottles iyin' around... 206 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,343 Boy, do you know the way to this gal's heart. 207 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:32,179 I didn't just come here to fix your table and get your wife drunk. 208 00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:35,474 I actually decided to give you that listing on the sycamore property. 209 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,810 - — Really? That's great. - Yeah. 210 00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:39,687 Why don't you come over for dinner tonight... 211 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:42,398 And, uh, we'll work out all the details— one entree. 212 00:08:42,523 --> 00:08:43,843 Okay. Claire, you should come too. 213 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:46,110 Oh, no, no. No, no. If it's business, I'm—! Insist. 214 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,754 He insists. We'll be there. We're coming. 215 00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,446 Shall we say, uh, 7:00? 216 00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,156 7:00 sounds great. Okay. 217 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,700 All right. 218 00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,284 I'll let myself out. Okay. 219 00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,248 Wow. 220 00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:00,791 Wow is right. 221 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,876 Mm-hmm. I just got sycamore, 222 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,629 a house that sells itself and gives me the commission. 223 00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:07,923 How does that not bother you? 224 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,508 Claire, it's an expression. 225 00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:11,719 There's work. Inspections, appraisals... 226 00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:15,139 He brought me wine. He took his shirt off when you weren't here. 227 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,951 Um, he brought us wine, and it doesn't look super-vacuumed down there. 228 00:09:17,975 --> 00:09:19,435 I'm surprised he kept his pants on. 229 00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:21,353 Okay. Okay. I can see what's going on. 230 00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:23,123 You're just so focused on getting his business... 231 00:09:23,147 --> 00:09:25,147 That you don't see what's going on in front of you. 232 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:28,235 Okay. Now I do see what's going on. What? 233 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,028 Come here, pretty girl. What? 234 00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,865 You are, you know. You don't hear it enough. 235 00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:37,661 The other night, when you put on makeup, I was like, “there she is.” 236 00:09:37,745 --> 00:09:39,246 Oh, my god. 237 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,790 You think I'm making this up as some part of an ego boost? 238 00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:44,376 Do you realize how insulting that is? 239 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,046 What are you doing? 240 00:09:48,130 --> 00:09:49,649 Helping my little sister with her homework. 241 00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,759 That seems... mean. 242 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:56,263 Annie, this is alex— that other sister I was telling you about. 243 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,140 Hi. So nice to meet you. 244 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,726 Um, if you're going to study there, 245 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,978 you might need to correct numbers seven through 10. 246 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:06,190 This bed has higher standards than that bed. 247 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,567 I'm going to get some more lemonade. 248 00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:14,281 I think your sister's mad at our sister. 249 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,622 - — We're back! - Oh, well, there you are. 250 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:24,184 I guess “lunch, then home” means different things to different people. 251 00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:25,626 We had a girls' day. 252 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,962 Lily, Lily, come. Show your papa what we bought. 253 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,798 Matching jackets! 254 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:33,300 It's like she's the baby leopard and I'm the mama. 255 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,261 Or they just happened to have two jackets, one large, one small. 256 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:38,889 What happened here? Where is my tea? 257 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,641 Oh, it's in this drawer over here. 258 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:42,351 As a thank—you, I took some time... 259 00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:45,145 To rearrange your kitchen so it makes sense. 260 00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:46,563 To who? 261 00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,524 To everyone. There's a flow now. Watch. 262 00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:50,776 Tea, mug, kettle. 263 00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,861 You're welcome. I didn't thank you. 264 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:57,032 You don't have to. I won't. 265 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:12,256 Cam, our shared bathroom is not the place to work out whatever's going on here. 266 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,841 I'm a child of divorce. 267 00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:16,426 Conflict resolution is something of a specialty. 268 00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:19,638 The key is, tell a personal story that applies to their situation, 269 00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,431 even if you have to make one up. 270 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,767 That way, they really hear what they need to hear. 271 00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,020 I'm sorry. You're right. 272 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:30,107 No. I'm sorry I snapped. 273 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,860 I'm just going through some stuff with this girl I like, Danielle. 274 00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:36,363 She came over the other day, and Stella was all over her, 275 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,657 and I got jealous, which is crazy, right? 276 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:42,202 I mean, Stella was only playing with her because she was new. 277 00:11:42,286 --> 00:11:45,998 Manny, sounds like Danielle was trying to get between you and your puppy, 278 00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,332 and that ain't cool. 279 00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:51,128 She seems immature, and you can do better. 280 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,923 I'm sorry to be blunt, but I'm goin' through somethin' myself right now. 281 00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:56,508 So chin up. Okay. 282 00:11:56,592 --> 00:12:00,137 It may not work every time, but you only need one fish to bite. 283 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,889 Who is this Danielle? 284 00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:05,058 She's my study partner in my history class, and we share a notebook. 285 00:12:05,142 --> 00:12:07,728 But her notes are really confusing, so I put them in order. 286 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:10,063 Instead of thanking me for making our lives easier, 287 00:12:10,147 --> 00:12:12,441 she got all mad because she thought I was judging her. 288 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:16,445 This girl is very bad news, Manny. 289 00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,530 You stay away from her. 290 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,160 Hi. Hey. 291 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,787 We're Phil and Claire. Hey. I'm Tony. 292 00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:27,539 Come on in. I'll go get my dad. Okay. 293 00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:28,874 Great. Thanks. 294 00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:31,251 Wow. I don't like the way that kid was looking at you. 295 00:12:31,335 --> 00:12:34,588 We are not friends right now. I am only here to help pump up the college fund. 296 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:38,008 Claire, if tad even makes a move towards you, his ass is grass. 297 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,302 Really? I thought that was just my ego. 298 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,096 So far, yeah, but just know I'm ready to grass his ass. 299 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:44,580 Hey, hey, hey, guys. Oh, hey. 300 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,308 Hey, how are you? Good, good. 301 00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,935 Good to see you. Yeah. 302 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,519 Hi. That's good. 303 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,647 Well, I love the place. Did you remodel this? 304 00:12:51,730 --> 00:12:55,275 Uh, actually, my ex—wife. She had a, uh, passion for modern architecture... 305 00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,985 And at least one modern architect. 306 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,404 I have to sell this one next. 307 00:12:59,488 --> 00:13:01,406 Really? Wow. I love how open it is. 308 00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:03,158 Doyounflnd if I poke around? Yeah. 309 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,552 It's beautiful. All right. Thanks. 310 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,471 Tad, if you don't need my help anymore with the kids, 311 00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:08,014 I'll be going. Thank you so much, Ellen. 312 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,807 You're welcome. Mmm. Okay, we'll see you later. 313 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,249 I saw this house eight years ago. 314 00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,728 There used to be a wall here, right? That's right. That's right. 315 00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:15,754 That was all covered. Yeah. I'm a detail guy. 316 00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,048 Hard to get much past me. 317 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,217 Hello, hello. Hey, how are you? 318 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,635 Good, tad. How you doing? 319 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:22,719 Bye, daddy. Bye, sweetie. 320 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,262 Bye, dad. Havefun. 321 00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:25,698 Okay. See you later. All right, bye. 322 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:26,974 Come on, guys. Let's go. Bye. 323 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:30,185 These stairs used to be teak, am I right? 324 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:32,604 This guy's good. Yeah. He's good. 325 00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,524 He's sharp. I forgot my bag. 326 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,651 You do that every time. 327 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,403 Yeah. 328 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,363 I don't miss much. 329 00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:49,454 Oh, I'm sorry. Were you trying to read? 330 00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:51,123 You're the one who tries to read. 331 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,000 Oh, my gosh! I am not that stupid! 332 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,103 Seriously, Haley, you think you are the coolest person ever. 333 00:13:55,127 --> 00:13:57,087 Stop just judging me about everything that I do! 334 00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,839 Enough! Enough! 335 00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:01,216 I am so sick of you two fighting all the time. 336 00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:04,553 You're a bad big sister, and you're a bad little sister. 337 00:14:04,636 --> 00:14:07,889 And you're both bad big sisters to me. 338 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:09,474 Be normaler. 339 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:17,607 Wow. I've never seen him like that. 340 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,569 Well, we do kind of neglect him. 341 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:25,157 And if you think about it, he is kind of our little sister. 342 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:27,951 Remember how we used to dress him up? 343 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,661 I miss her. 344 00:14:29,745 --> 00:14:32,414 I hear you, and I don't like where this is going. 345 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:34,750 You get the lipstick. I'll get the bra and tennis balls. 346 00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:36,918 Betty Luke! 347 00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,837 I will burn this house down! 348 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:50,807 ,/', fi 349 00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,319 Where is the cheese grater? 350 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,824 Where is the cutting board? 351 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:10,160 Where would you want it to be? 352 00:15:13,705 --> 00:15:16,541 Yes, right here, next to the cheese grater. 353 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:18,710 I know it's hard to tell by looking at me, 354 00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:21,421 but I am not a natural homemaker. 355 00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:24,216 So when cam came and organized my kitchen, 356 00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:27,427 I felt insecure and lashed out. 357 00:15:27,511 --> 00:15:31,056 In a way, I'm no better than Manny's crazy friend Danielle. 358 00:15:32,516 --> 00:15:34,559 Can we just focus on the cooking? Jj' 359 00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,857 Daddy, we forgot to give you this. 360 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:44,694 It's like ourjackets. 361 00:15:47,114 --> 00:15:48,615 I love it. 362 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,954 I guess I've always been a little sensitive about Lily not having a mother, 363 00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:55,664 and Gloria's so good at it. 364 00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:58,125 I got jealous. 365 00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,293 Maybe I should tell Manny this story. 366 00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:03,004 It might help him with that train wreck, Danielle. 367 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,215 You know what? Why don't you turn that music back on? 368 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,092 It was kind of nice. 369 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,885 ,/', r 370 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,702 Hey, dad? Don't need to talk about it. 371 00:16:33,785 --> 00:16:36,055 I was out of line comin' down there. It won't happen again. 372 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:38,474 - — Scotch is at the bar. - No, I've been giving this a lot of thought. 373 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:41,501 - — I guess we're gonna talk about it. - I was rude to you. 374 00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,563 I think I was just annoyed by all the lawyer jokes. 375 00:16:43,587 --> 00:16:45,046 I mean, let's be honest. 376 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,757 You don't exactly beam with pride over what I do for a living. 377 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:49,926 Mockery is the sincerest form of flattery. 378 00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,304 I'm pretty sure that's not the saying, but... 379 00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,098 Um, you know, Manny told me a story about his friend Danielle. 380 00:16:55,182 --> 00:16:57,976 Whew. She sounds like a real piece of work, by the way. 381 00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:02,063 But, uh, it made me realize that I take myself a little too seriously. 382 00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:04,524 Listen, it goes without saying... 383 00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:07,527 I've always been proud of you, and I brag about you all the time. 384 00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:11,072 So if I say, “what do lawyers use as birth control?”, 385 00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:13,158 and the answer is, “their personalities,” 386 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,993 I want you to know I'm not referring to you. 387 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:17,913 You don't need any birth control. 388 00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,210 Hello. 389 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,337 Yeah, this is Jay pritchett. 390 00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,589 - What? When? - What happened? 391 00:17:27,672 --> 00:17:29,049 It's the police. My car got stolen. 392 00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,468 Yeah, 2012. Gray. 393 00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:34,638 No, not pewter. More like a light— like a... 394 00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,932 No, not slate. Um... 395 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,808 I don't even know what coastal fog is. 396 00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,477 Just put down gray 397 00:17:41,519 --> 00:17:43,188 kilo? That's not my car. 398 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,774 Yeah, she's Colombian. What does that have to do with... 399 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,400 No, I'm comin' down there. Hang on. 400 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:49,986 Grab your keys. I think I might need a lawyer. 401 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:55,033 Guess who just got his bell rung? 402 00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:03,583 That's good. It's good. 403 00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,377 Here you go. Have a seat. 404 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:08,171 I got a bottle of port from 1899. 405 00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,339 Whoa. Wow. 406 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,342 Okay, I got it for 18.99, but it's a good one. 407 00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:18,723 Fun night, right? Yes. 408 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,642 Great dinner. Yes. 409 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,811 And tad is great, 410 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:25,355 and I know I was giving you a hard time— hey. 411 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,792 Hey, hey, Claire. But I feel like I should say that I'm sorry. 412 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:29,985 You don't need to explain. 413 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:31,945 Your apology is apology enough. 414 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:34,489 Oh, I forgot the best part of the Costa Rica story. 415 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:37,909 So we get home, and they've taken over the living room. 416 00:18:37,993 --> 00:18:39,619 They've taken over the kitchen. 417 00:18:39,703 --> 00:18:42,122 I mean, they're in the food. They're on the bed. 418 00:18:42,205 --> 00:18:45,750 And finally, after two years of complaining to Diego about this, 419 00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:47,460 he finally stops and says, 420 00:18:47,544 --> 00:18:52,048 “okay, now I see it. You do have a monkey problem.” 421 00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:01,182 A monkey problem! Yeah, I heard him the first time. 422 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:05,687 You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but you cannot make her laugh. 423 00:19:07,397 --> 00:19:09,649 I want to go back. 424 00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:11,276 You can kiss my wife, 425 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,154 but only I can take her to bed and make her laugh. 426 00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:16,781 I want to go back. 427 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:21,745 Only I can take my wife to bed, comma, 428 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,580 and make her laugh. 429 00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:27,500 I mean, they were in everything. 430 00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:30,086 The only thing they didn't touch: The bananas. 431 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,674 Monkeys love bananas! 432 00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:37,719 You would think they would love the bananas! Yeah, we should go. 433 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,323 They'd want the bananas. Yeah, we need to go. We gotta get goin'. 434 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,639 Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, we're late. 435 00:19:41,765 --> 00:19:43,534 But we just opened the— We're late for getting home. 436 00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:44,768 We're having— let's go. 437 00:19:44,893 --> 00:19:46,186 Okay. Okay. 438 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:47,729 What is wrong with you? 439 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,856 You laughed like it was “who's on first?” what? 440 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,900 He's on second. Don't try to cheer me up. 441 00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:53,703 I know what's going on here. You're jealous. 442 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:56,071 Of him? Uh-huh. 443 00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:59,366 He's not even funny. What's he got, like a soft 10 minutes? 444 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:02,089 And he goes to the Costa Rican well a little too much for my taste. 445 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,287 Oh, god. 446 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,040 Really? This is still aboutthernonkeys? No, no, no, no. 447 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:10,210 It's you. You are making me so happy right now. 448 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:13,213 You stormed out of there, and you're acting like an idiot. 449 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:16,216 You like this? Because I'm really uncomfortable. 450 00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:17,842 Honey, I love it. 451 00:20:17,926 --> 00:20:19,386 Makes me feel special. 452 00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:22,013 Sometimes I really don't understand you. 453 00:20:22,097 --> 00:20:23,890 I know it's stupid, 454 00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:26,267 but it's nice to know that sometimes you'll fight for me, 455 00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:29,604 and all I have to do is laugh at some other guy's story. 456 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:32,315 But no one makes me laugh like you do. 457 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,652 As long as it's always genuine. Mm-hmm. 458 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:38,863 You can fake anything you want with me, but not your laugh. 459 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,657 I'd like to go back. Yeah. 460 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:46,246 Stop it! Leave me alone! 461 00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,415 - Oh, hold still! - Stop moving! 462 00:20:48,498 --> 00:20:49,833 I hate you! Get off me! 463 00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:51,835 What is going on? 464 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,422 You guys are in a lot of trouble. 465 00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:57,090 Haley, I told you to clean this mess up. 466 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,758 And, Alex, your books are everywhere. 467 00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:01,177 Betty Luke, sit down while your dad gets the camera. 468 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:02,345 Got it. 469 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,764 Last time, you made a funny face... 470 00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:06,474 And we didn't really get a good shot, 471 00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:08,059 so let's work on our smile. 472 00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:10,520 Okay. Good to see you, Betty Luke. 473 00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:17,944 English - us - psdh