1 00:00:04,088 --> 00:00:06,883 Ooh! Individual frittatas. What a treat. 2 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,008 You're a lucky man, Phil. I'm always saying, I'm... 3 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,553 [Claire] Phil. Sorry. 4 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:12,138 You left the milk out again. 5 00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:14,241 Mmm. I may have to take one of these little guys home. 6 00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:16,034 Claire, did you ever find that tuppennare I lent you? 7 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:19,729 Sweetie, for the hundredth time, I gave it back to you. Remember? 8 00:00:19,812 --> 00:00:23,566 I remember you telling me a hundred times, yet my pea soup is in baggies. 9 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,152 Did you check your car, in the, um— trunk. 10 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:27,955 Because that's where you found that thing... 11 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,882 That you thought that you gave me long time ago. 12 00:00:29,906 --> 00:00:31,532 The-the— pizza cutter. 13 00:00:31,616 --> 00:00:33,927 - — Good. Give me another one. - Yes, I was wrong that time. 14 00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:36,370 It's a piece of plastic. You're ruining brunch. 15 00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,581 Don't sweat it, cam. I forget things all the time. 16 00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:40,708 Like I can never remember the name... 17 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,668 Of that weather guy that I liked. 18 00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:45,046 Uh, thunder—something. Stormy... 19 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:47,089 Flash storm? Ah! Whatever the hell it is. 20 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:49,508 I don't know. Just eat your eggs, Jay. 21 00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:51,302 Yeah. Justeat youreggs, Jay. 22 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,721 - [All exclaiming, laughing] - [ Gloria ] [Ayl [qué linda/ 23 00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,140 [ Cameron ] Grandpa got told! 24 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:59,644 Look at them. They all think Lily's so great. 25 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:00,937 The novelty will wear off. 26 00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,688 We used to be the cute ones. 27 00:01:02,772 --> 00:01:04,398 Now she gets all the attention. 28 00:01:04,482 --> 00:01:06,400 We need to take her down. 29 00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:08,004 I jay} I should remember his name, too, 30 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:10,446 because your mom and I got in a big fight over him. 31 00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,823 She was using the convertible, and I told her, 32 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,660 “put the top up because it's supposed to rain tonight... 33 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:17,703 According to”... 34 00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:20,748 P—p—p— partly mccloudy— Whatever the hell his name is. 35 00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:23,125 Anyway, she didn't. Ruined the car. 36 00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:26,087 Well, not to be the one that always comes to mom's defense... 37 00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,023 - — [Speaking gibberish ] - What? It was 20 years ago. 38 00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:29,757 What, you think he's gonna ground you? 39 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,592 - — It was you? - Yes. 40 00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:34,762 Yes, I left the top down, and I let mom take the fall. 41 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,931 - — And then they got divorced. - Twelve years later. 42 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,784 - — I'm just saying. - Oh! You're ruining brunch. 43 00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:42,061 Relax. It was years ago. There's a statute of limitation on this stuff. 44 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:43,914 In that case, I should probably let you know... 45 00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:46,607 I let the top down to let out the cigarette smoke. 46 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:48,734 [Others exclaiming ] 47 00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:50,498 Not mine. Not mine. My bad friend— Eleanor. 48 00:01:50,569 --> 00:01:52,297 [ Mitchell ] “Eleanor” being her boyfriend, Allan. 49 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:55,032 Statute of limitations. I Jay I relax. It's okay. 50 00:01:55,116 --> 00:01:58,703 Remember when I told you that I couldn't get to your figure skating semifinal... 51 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,413 - — Because I was stuck at work? - Yeah. 52 00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,206 Well, by “stuck,” I meant drunk. 53 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:04,000 And by “work,” I meant the golf course. 54 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,584 [All laughing] [ Gloria ] Jay! 55 00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,938 - [Claire] Oh, dad. - [Mitchell] Oh, no. I got one. I got one. 56 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:09,682 Remember that time we went golfing together, 57 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:11,465 andyougot a hole in one? Yeah? 58 00:02:11,549 --> 00:02:13,134 You never got a hole in one. 59 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,303 I got bored, and I kicked it in the hole. 60 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:16,595 [Others laughing ] 61 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:18,723 [ Phil ] This is fun. Here's a corker. 62 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:21,350 They didn't used to label babies as carefully in hospitals. 63 00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:23,161 - — So for two days— - I Jay I not now, Phil! 64 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:25,038 What do you mean, you kicked the ball in the hole? 65 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:28,566 What, was it on the edge? Yeah. It was on the edge of that, uh— that Sandy thing. 66 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,985 Gee, it's sure gonna be fun to face my friends today. 67 00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:33,946 You don't have to tell them. They call me ace, Mitch. 68 00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:36,615 I haven't paid for lemonade down there in 20 years. 69 00:02:36,741 --> 00:02:38,784 You're mad at me? [Gloria] Mmm. 70 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,288 Great, daddy. You ruined brunch. 71 00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,290 [All laughing] Jay/ joué Linda! 72 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:45,916 [ Cameron ] You did. 73 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,835 This ends today. 74 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,670 [ Phil ] Is that what you're calling them? 75 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,506 ,/' hey, heyj 76 00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:54,425 ,/' hey, heyj 77 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,594 ,/' hey, heyj 78 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,512 ,/' hey, heyj 79 00:02:58,596 --> 00:02:59,764 j“ hey if 80 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,018 a little help here. 81 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:05,561 You can't expect me to focus... 82 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:07,247 When Miranda Cornell lives right down your street. 83 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:08,981 She's like a dream wrapped in a wish... 84 00:03:09,065 --> 00:03:10,775 Poured into jeggings. 85 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:13,861 Yeah, yeah. That's nice and all, but we got a trap to set. 86 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,529 Are you sure this is going to work? 87 00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:18,282 Trust me. We'll use these cookies as bait. 88 00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:20,034 Lily's crazy for them. 89 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,619 Asian metabolism. 90 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,704 When she grabs one with her grubby little hands, 91 00:03:23,788 --> 00:03:25,414 off goes the trap. 92 00:03:25,498 --> 00:03:28,793 Boom— big puddle of milk. She'll get in so much trouble. 93 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,586 My mom hates messes. 94 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,546 I'm familiar with Claire. 95 00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:35,549 Lock_.andloaded. 96 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:39,428 Mmm! These cookies are so good... 97 00:03:39,512 --> 00:03:42,098 And so easy to reach. 98 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,724 Lily! 99 00:03:50,523 --> 00:03:53,234 - — [ Milk splashes] - Oh! [Groans] 100 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:56,153 [Groaning] 101 00:03:56,237 --> 00:03:58,447 Oh, my god! Cam! 102 00:03:58,531 --> 00:04:00,199 What happened? Are you okay? 103 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:03,911 [ Groans ] That milk fell, and I must have slipped in it. 104 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,330 Did I leave that out again? I'm so sorry! 105 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,998 Oh, my back. Oh, my back. 106 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:10,835 Can I give you a Swedish massage, accent optional? 107 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:13,170 Oh. Oh, no. I just need to lie down. 108 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:15,297 Come on. Let's get you over to the sofa. 109 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:17,591 Oh! Do you think it would be offensive... 110 00:04:17,675 --> 00:04:19,427 If I ask our daughter to walk on my back? 111 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:22,596 I'd say so. I just offered to give you a massage. 112 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,391 Oh, no! You broke Beatrice. 113 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,852 Now she can't feed the dolphins. 114 00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:30,521 What is she talking about? Oh. It's a my sweet companion doll. 115 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,440 They all have these elaborate backstories. 116 00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:34,775 Beatrice works with blind dolphins and models. 117 00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:37,361 [ Gasps ] There are blind models? 118 00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:41,031 That's so sad. They cannot see how pretty they are. 119 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:45,786 Okay. Hold on. Give me some. Give me some. Give me some. 120 00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,413 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh! 121 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,623 Let me buy Lily a new doll. 122 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,959 It's my fault cam fell. No, no need. 123 00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:55,504 The my sweet companion store actually has a hospital with an on-call doctor. 124 00:04:55,588 --> 00:04:57,798 I can go. I'm taking the girls to the mall anyway. 125 00:04:57,882 --> 00:05:00,360 Oh, that'd be great. Yeah. And don't worry. She has medical insurance. 126 00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,428 And I think we've met our deductible for the year. 127 00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,472 So you should be good. [ Cameron ] Yeah. 128 00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:06,182 Do you know what a doll is in my village? 129 00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:08,058 An apple on a fork. 130 00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:14,440 I never really got dolls. Does that make me weird? 131 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:16,285 [ Haley] It's on the list. You're not weird. 132 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,402 You just kind of skipped the “little girl” stage. 133 00:05:18,486 --> 00:05:21,238 And jumped to the “I dare you to ring her doorbell” stage. 134 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:23,782 The only stage you're ever going to jump on has a pole on it. 135 00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:25,618 Hey, at least I have the body— oh, please! 136 00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:30,498 Okay, okay! We're gonna have to settle this dispute in court— the food court. 137 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:33,167 The honorable judge cinnabon presiding. 138 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:36,545 The food court? That place smells like the inside of Luke's bicycle helmet. 139 00:05:36,629 --> 00:05:38,672 I like the food court. Me too. 140 00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:40,734 Don't worry, girls. We're not gonna deprive ourselves... 141 00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,259 Just 'cause Haley's aversion... 142 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,762 [ Laughing] 143 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,473 Oh. Oh. Haley's avers/on. 144 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:50,768 I thought you said— never mind. 145 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:02,780 Okay. So after you have turned on the monitor and selected your input, 146 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,990 you can change the channel with this guy. 147 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,660 But if you need to change the volume— you know what? 148 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,513 I think I'm fine. Why don't you just go ahead? 149 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,038 I know this sounds really confusing, 150 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,974 but there's actually a very simple way to remember it. 151 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,834 3 input one is the cable box j' 152 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,504 j“ cable box, cable box— j} I think I'm just gonna take a nap. 153 00:06:18,629 --> 00:06:22,675 Okay. I'm goin' to yoga. Jay/ that sounds like so much fun. 154 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:25,362 You should go with her, Gloria. —we should definitely do that sometime. 155 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:27,596 I would love it. Bye. [Groans] 156 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,474 Do you see how she gives me the cold shoulders? 157 00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,685 I don't even know why I try. [ Gasps ] 158 00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:35,354 Oh, well, that's just Claire. You know? She's a pritchett. 159 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,731 [Sighs] You gotta break through those walls. 160 00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:40,609 - — The sooner, the better. - You really think so? 161 00:06:40,693 --> 00:06:43,654 Yeah. Why don't you go? Now. Forge that friendship. 162 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,615 Okay, I go. I have my gym bag in the car. 163 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,576 Feelbefled okay. Thank you 164 00:06:48,701 --> 00:06:52,538 I'm just gonna lie here, some ice on my back. [ Door opens ] 165 00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:53,956 [ Door closes ] 166 00:06:59,670 --> 00:07:01,380 [ Bowls clattering ] 167 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,942 [ Cameron ] I knew for a fact Claire ne ver returned my tupperware. 168 00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:06,010 //'ust needed a few minutes alone to find if. 169 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:09,680 And when I did, I'd never have to hear them snicker again. 170 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,224 “Oh, silly cam.” or “forgetful cam.” 171 00:07:12,308 --> 00:07:15,603 Because revenge is a dish best served cold. 172 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:18,022 And even better two days later out of a 24-ounce, 173 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:21,025 microwave-friendly, burp-sealed pak-n-stor. 174 00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:24,528 [ Door opens, closes] 175 00:07:32,036 --> 00:07:34,288 Oh, hey. I thought you were going to the pharmacy. 176 00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:36,081 I forgot my phone. Oh. 177 00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:39,084 Oh! I think I'm just upset about this stupid thing with my dad. 178 00:07:39,168 --> 00:07:40,628 Sweetie, I'd love to hear about it... 179 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,606 When you come back with my heating pad from the pharmacy. 180 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:44,089 Because I hurt my back, remember? 181 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:46,759 I mean, did he overreact or what? 182 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,302 It's just a game, right? 183 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,554 Well, unless there's something more to it. 184 00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:53,015 Maybe you should go talk to him. 185 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,142 Yeah. Huh? 186 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,727 I should've just kept my mouth shut. 187 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,395 I mean, it was such a great day. 188 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,899 After he thought he got that hole in one, he took us out to dinner. 189 00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:04,234 He bought me my first beer. Well, there you go. 190 00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:07,363 He's probably hurt because you marred a very special father-son experience. 191 00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,198 - — You think? - You marred it. 192 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:10,949 But you can fix it. 193 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:13,118 He's down at the club right now. 194 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:16,038 Go, Mitchell! UN-mar that memory! 195 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,873 You know what? I'm gonna do it. 196 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,166 Sorry. Ow. 197 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,709 Don't worry. I'll be back soon. 198 00:08:20,793 --> 00:08:23,087 Okay. I'll miss you. Call first. 199 00:08:24,088 --> 00:08:25,589 [ Door opens ] 200 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,591 Ar [muzak] [Children chattering ] 201 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,947 What were you thinking, saying that in front of him? 202 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,431 I'm sorry. It slipped out. 203 00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:36,350 Besides, I figured he knew. Mom knows. 204 00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,394 Only because she dragged it out of Dylan. 205 00:08:38,477 --> 00:08:41,355 And she promised not to tell dad until I left for college, 206 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:44,692 which means he might have never found out. 207 00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:47,695 Stop panicking. We don't even know for sure he heard what I said. 208 00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,530 [ Phil ] Okay. Beatrice is with the nurse. 209 00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:51,365 They'll call us. Shouldn't be too long. 210 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,827 We can just wait until she's married— until she's... ready. 211 00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:56,870 Which, apparently, everyone is these days. 212 00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:58,973 Funny, I used to think it'd be years until everyone was ready, 213 00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,916 but I guess I was wrong— Wrong and naive. 214 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,839 Surprise! Oh! Gloria! 215 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,382 My god. [ Gasps ] 216 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,800 I came to do yoga with you. 217 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,444 Yeah, I wasn't expecting to see you here. 218 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,137 A y, that's why I say “surprise!” 219 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,930 Yeah. This is awful, 220 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,516 because I was just thinking I might have to bail on yoga. 221 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,393 I have the worst headache all of a sudden. 222 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,228 But yoga is good for that, Claire. 223 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,355 For the meditation, for the— [ Chants ] 224 00:09:23,439 --> 00:09:25,149 Yeah, yeah. It's just right now, 225 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:27,985 I wanna go lie down in a dark room and breathe. 226 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,153 That sounds like yoga. 227 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,864 I— I realize that. Yes. 228 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,241 Butsfim I—I should go. Come on. 229 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,410 I'm not gonna do the class by myself. 230 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,412 Okay, so let's go and get massages. 231 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,247 Or there's a nail salon there. 232 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,434 I would love to do that some other time. I really would. 233 00:09:42,458 --> 00:09:44,793 But right now, I need to get home and lie down. 234 00:09:44,877 --> 00:09:46,503 - — You understand, right? - Of course. 235 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,714 Okay. You go! 236 00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:52,551 And lie. 237 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,764 [ Manny] You're better! Oh! Barely. Barely, yeah. 238 00:09:56,847 --> 00:10:00,476 - — I was just getting something cold for my back. - Gravy? 239 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,871 Well, if it can save your mom's Turkey, it can save anything. 240 00:10:02,895 --> 00:10:04,664 I thought you were going to see your friend Miranda. 241 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:06,440 This one chickened out. 242 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,275 For someone who says he likes girls so much, 243 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:09,735 he sure is afraid of them. 244 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:12,571 It's a dance, Luke. Chicken dance. 245 00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:15,949 Well, since you're back, what if I give you 20 bucks... 246 00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:19,661 And you guys... go wash my car? 247 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,749 Is that 20 bucks for each of us or both of us? 248 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,125 Both. 249 00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:26,960 That's what I thought. 250 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:34,927 [Chattering, laughing ] 251 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:38,055 Uh—oh, check it out. Ace is drooling over his plaque again. 252 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:41,099 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't smell you idiots come in. 253 00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:44,728 Listen, I've been thinking, maybe it's time we retire the name “ace.” 254 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,980 You mean the name you had printed on your golf cap? 255 00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:48,833 - — And his robe. - You know, guys, about that... 256 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:52,444 Remember how mad he got when I yanked that cap off his head and put it on? 257 00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:54,154 “You got to earn that!” 258 00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:56,990 I'm just glad one of those cheap hair plugs didn't get caught in it. 259 00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:58,992 For the millionth time, they're not plugs. 260 00:10:59,076 --> 00:11:01,054 So what, your hairjust came back when you turned 50? 261 00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:03,455 Unlike your wife. Hey, that was a blessing. 262 00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:05,642 Othennise, I wouldn't be taking out Natalie hobbs tonight. 263 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,417 Taking her out or doing her taxes? 264 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:11,839 I'm trying to find a way to come clean about the hole in one, when it occurs to me... 265 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:13,382 Why? 266 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:15,509 One idiot lies about his sex life. 267 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:19,346 The other dumbbell has a Ferrari “in the shop” for years. 268 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,683 And moron number three is a Hollywood stunt car driver... 269 00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:26,228 Who gets sick when he rides backwards in the golf cart. 270 00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,856 So, you ladies ready to tee off or what? 271 00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:30,440 Just gotta settle up our tab. 272 00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,752 I took care of it. — you said you were going to the restroom. 273 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,820 Ah! Can't trust a word out of this guy's mouth. 274 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,572 Twenty years we've been falling for this. 275 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:39,700 I—I'm sorry to interrupt, but my dad never lied to you guys. 276 00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,705 Mitchell. No, he didn't even know until today... 277 00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,427 That he never made the hole in one. Okay. 278 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:46,540 But the fact that he couldn't live with himself when he found out... 279 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:48,500 And he raced down here to confess to you, 280 00:11:48,584 --> 00:11:51,253 that just shows the kind of man he is. 281 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:54,047 He is a “hole in one” kind of man. 282 00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:56,008 You never got a hole in one? 283 00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:57,801 I didn't tell them. 284 00:11:59,011 --> 00:12:02,139 So this is the gang. Introduce me. 285 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,686 Ah! Score! 286 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,897 It's not like me and Miranda are perfectly suited. 287 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:12,274 For one thing, she likes bad boys. That's just not me. 288 00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,610 I'm gonna turn on some music. [ Clicks ] 289 00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,463 J, » [ H/p-hop on speakers] I'm sorry. I can't unlearn how to treat a lady. 290 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,382 But where does that leave me— Waiting till I'm 40, 291 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,992 when she looks me up on Facebook after her failed first marriage? 292 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,411 Okay. [ Engine starts] 293 00:12:24,536 --> 00:12:27,539 What are you doing? I'm sick of hearing you whine about Miranda! 294 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:29,875 It's time to make her notice you! But we can't! 295 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,186 We got a full tank of gas, and she's right down the block. 296 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:33,921 Now buckle up. Are you crazy? 297 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:35,005 You tell me. 298 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:40,594 [ Luke ] Whoo! Whoo! 299 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:44,848 [ Laughing] Whoo! Whoo! 300 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,355 Lily, what is this? 301 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,775 Wouldn't you rather have a chemistry set or some flash cards? 302 00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:57,110 She's pretty. 303 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,612 No. No, she's dirty. 304 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,864 Look. Look at the dirt. 305 00:13:00,948 --> 00:13:02,658 Let me wipe her off. 306 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:05,327 Fix that. 307 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,663 Her braid's coming loose. Come here. 308 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,750 Fix that right up. 309 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:16,338 So I've completed the examination. She did really well. 310 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,547 What's the prognosis? 311 00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,716 We can fix most of her arm, 312 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,512 but she'll never regain full mobility in her shoulderjoint, 313 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:25,806 because they don't make that part anymore. 314 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,307 Well, that's pretty good, right? 315 00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:29,851 I mean, she'll look exactly the same. No one will know. 316 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,395 I'll know. 317 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,980 [ Clicks tongue] Uh... 318 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,982 I'm just saying I liked her the way she was. 319 00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:36,984 She was such a sweet little doll. 320 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:40,028 I'm sorry, doc. I'm having trouble adjusting to all this. 321 00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:42,489 Uh, dad, she's still a sweet little doll. 322 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,783 No, she's broken. 323 00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,785 No, she's just changed a little. 324 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:50,455 It happens. Dolls grow up. Well, actually... 325 00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:52,249 Uh, could you— yeah. Sure. 326 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:55,752 I actually have to go give a little girl some pretty bad news. 327 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:00,966 So, Haley. 328 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,387 The thing is... 329 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,098 Fact— Haley's almost 18. 330 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,767 Fact— I am the cool dad. 331 00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,230 Haley, I understand that sex is a part of life. 332 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:18,084 I can't say that I'm thrilled to hear this, but I'm sure you're being safe, 333 00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,986 and I hope that you'll feel free to talk to me about this anytime. 334 00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:28,243 We should— we should probably get Beatrice, like, a cast or something. 335 00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,995 We can all sign it. 336 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,664 Yeah? Uh, yeah. Sure. 337 00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:35,459 Fact— I blew it. 338 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,604 This repair's probably gonna take a little while. 339 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,964 Why don't you run up to the food court and grab us a table? 340 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:43,800 I'll get Alex and Lily. Okay. 341 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,804 Do you want the counter or a booth? 342 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,475 Whatever seems right to you. 343 00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:56,021 I trust you. 344 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:01,318 I have a cool dad. 345 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,073 [Shifts into park] 346 00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:09,201 Okay. Your turn. Uh-uh! No way! 347 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,787 Do you want to get her attention or not? 348 00:15:11,870 --> 00:15:13,330 [Sighs] 349 00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,832 ,/', r [ Car stereo: H/p-hop ] [ /I/lan ], /' yea/7,/' 350 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,250 jah/ah/j 351 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,836 j u/7/j 352 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,547 ,/' yeah uh! Uh! Uh!, r 353 00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:24,591 ,/' yeah, r 354 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:28,678 ,/' uh, let's— let's ride gotta hit the street j 355 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,347 that was amazing! 356 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,390 Did you see the look on Miranda's face? 357 00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:34,935 No. But you did good, Thelma. 358 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:37,437 Please stop calling me that. I hate that movie. 359 00:15:37,521 --> 00:15:39,564 What movie? 360 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,609 Uh—oh! Dead end. You gotta make a u-ey. 361 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:45,237 I don't know how to do that. 362 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,823 Ar [ Continues ] 363 00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,955 ,/' r/de, gotta hit the street we pack the heat jy' 364 00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,790 she pretended to have a headache, cam. 365 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,667 She doesn't want to spend time with me. 366 00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,710 Maybe she just wanted to he alone. 367 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,295 Why? 368 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:05,382 Because some people really value their privacy, 369 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,092 and you have to respect that. 370 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,971 [ Gasps ] I have to go. [ Phone beeps ] 371 00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:13,056 /ho/a, Claire! 372 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:15,267 Gloria, you've gotta stop doing that! 373 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,228 Were you going back to the yoga class without me? 374 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,313 No, that is not why I came back. 375 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:21,940 I don't understand you. 376 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:23,733 Why you don't want to spend time with me? 377 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,777 Everybody wants to spend time with me. 378 00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:28,947 Even the lady that did my nails wants to take me to pilates. 379 00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,991 I didn't come back here to do yoga. 380 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:33,201 I don't do yoga. It's a cover, okay? 381 00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:36,496 Look. I know that, from the outside, 382 00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:38,498 it seems like I have everything together. 383 00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,834 No, not really. 384 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,919 My point is that my life can be very stressful. 385 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,922 And I have found a way to cope with that stress. 386 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:48,842 And it's my little secret, and I'm not proud of it. 387 00:16:48,967 --> 00:16:51,344 Hey. Hey, Claire. See you inside. 388 00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:53,180 Is that what you do? 389 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,682 No. No! 390 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,518 Okay. You're coming with me. Come in. 391 00:16:58,602 --> 00:17:01,313 But listen to me, Gloria. 392 00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:03,315 It has to stay between us. 393 00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:06,401 This is my sacred space. 394 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:13,533 It's just such a great release. 395 00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:15,702 - Thank you for not judging me. - Why would I? 396 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,454 If anything, it makes me like you more. 397 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,164 Mmm. So, how often do you come here? 398 00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,458 - — Not that often. No. - [Tapping on window] 399 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,002 Hey. Maybe a little often. 400 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,170 That's so sad. 401 00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:26,963 I live with four teenagers. 402 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,424 You live with two adults. Youhavenoidea— no, no, no. 403 00:17:29,507 --> 00:17:31,176 It's so sad that you come here so often... 404 00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:33,553 And that's the best that you can shoot. Oh! 405 00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,222 [Laughs] 406 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,765 And that's with pretty nails. 407 00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:39,267 But improper stance. I— okay. Practice more. 408 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:41,519 Here you go, ace. 409 00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:43,563 I mean— what is your real name? 410 00:17:43,647 --> 00:17:45,148 Jay. 411 00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:49,653 Dad, I— I told you, forget about it. 412 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,238 All right. Look. 413 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:54,783 I just want you to know I get why you're upset, okay? 414 00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:57,202 That day you got the hole in one, it meant a lot to you. 415 00:17:57,285 --> 00:18:01,081 And... i— I marred it. 416 00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:03,250 But it meant a lot to me too. 417 00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,793 We had a steak dinner, 418 00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:07,712 you gave me my first beer, and, uh, 419 00:18:07,796 --> 00:18:10,298 it was one of the greatest days we ever spent together. 420 00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:13,927 And it wasn't about some meaningless hole in one. It was about us. 421 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,513 No. It was about a hole in one. 422 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,431 Yes. Yes. A-A little bit, maybe. 423 00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:21,059 But mostly, it was about how we bonded. 424 00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:24,521 I thought I hit a ball straight from a tee... 425 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,691 Really, really far into a tiny hole. 426 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,985 Okay. 427 00:18:30,068 --> 00:18:32,028 God, when will I learn? 428 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,801 And it wasn't your first beer anyway. 429 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:39,077 Yes, it was, dad, but I wouldn't expect you to remember. 430 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,289 It was your 14th birthday. 431 00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:43,957 You asked me for a sip of mine. 432 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,977 Your mom yelled at you in front of all your friends, 433 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:48,086 said you were just a baby. 434 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,171 You ran outside in tears, 435 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:53,466 which, unfortunately, supported your mom's argument. 436 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:56,636 Anyway, I came out with a couple of beers. 437 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,223 We drank 'em on the porch, watching the storm clouds coming in. 438 00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:06,187 I had completely forgotten about that. 439 00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,416 You know, you're— you're unbelievable. Just when I peg you as... 440 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,899 Storm Stevens! That's it! 441 00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,610 Give me something. I'm gonna write it right here. 442 00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:15,363 Before I forget. “Storm Stevens.” Stevens. 443 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:18,797 What were we just talking about, just now? 444 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,287 Mm-mmm. No? 445 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:25,123 Come on, Lily. Let's see if Beatrice is ready. 446 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,630 Hey, dad. 447 00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:34,424 I know I'm way too old for this, 448 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,509 but do you think I could get this doll? 449 00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:39,012 Her name's Genevieve, and she's developing a vaccine for... 450 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:42,307 Yes, you can get the doll. You can get as many dolls as you want. 451 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:44,601 It's $200. 452 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,145 Or one is fine. 453 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,440 I know you're here. 454 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,112 Hello. [ Chuckles ] 455 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,052 [ Manny] I have a bad feeling about this. 456 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,535 What if one of your neighbors saw us? 457 00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,287 Maybe we should just confess. 458 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,956 We will... in 20 years. 459 00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:08,792 Huh? You heard grandpa. 460 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,585 There's a statute of limitations, 461 00:20:10,668 --> 00:20:13,755 which is a good thing, because we still need to take Lily down. 462 00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,548 Nah, let her be the cute one. 463 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:18,676 We don't need that anymore. We're bad boys now. 464 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,722 Yeah. I like that. Bad boys. 465 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:24,557 [Vehicle door closes ] Your mom! 466 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:26,309 - — [ Both scream ] - [ Horn honks] 467 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,019 [ Objects crash, clatter] 468 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,230 [ Door closes ] 469 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,524 Oh, my god. 470 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,150 Cam! 471 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,277 Um, this had a lid. 472 00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:43,368 I'll see you guys later. I'm going to Abby's. 473 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:47,330 Bye, honey. Have fun. Have fun, you. With Abby. 474 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:50,226 [ Door opens, closes] We've confirmed Abby's a real person and a female? 475 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,585 Yes, sweetie. We met her. 476 00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,296 Honey, we can't treat Haley differently... 477 00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,674 Just because we both know what we know about her. 478 00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,260 I know. I just need time. 479 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,180 So Dylan told you? 480 00:21:04,264 --> 00:21:06,558 Why didn't he tell me? He and I used to share everything. 481 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:08,893 You're upset about a lot of things. 482 00:21:08,977 --> 00:21:12,230 Okay, I won't obsess over it. 483 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:15,066 Hmm? I just wanna ask you onethmg. 484 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:18,736 How long have you known? Three months. 485 00:21:18,820 --> 00:21:22,407 So this giant thing happened to our firstborn, 486 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:25,452 and you kept me in the dark about it for three whole months? 487 00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:28,204 I'm sorry. I just wasn't sure how you'd— okay. 488 00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,747 Thank you. 489 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:37,714 English - us - psdh