1 00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,173 Oh, Phil, honey, you're still up. 2 00:00:05,256 --> 00:00:06,900 Okay. How does this sound? 3 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,885 “Mitchell, I love you very much. 4 00:00:08,968 --> 00:00:11,971 I not only love you, but I admire you, and someday”... 5 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,848 Are you firing him or proposing to him? 6 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:16,434 Honey, this was supposed to be a part-time job. 7 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,186 He was gonna be done in the summer anyway. 8 00:00:18,311 --> 00:00:20,688 Just... be direct. I should have warned him. 9 00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:23,211 How do you tell someone they have a reputation for being lazy? 10 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:25,693 Mitchell, lazy? Yeah, yeah. 11 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:28,797 He handed in a couple of contracts late, but I didn't want to say anything... 12 00:00:28,821 --> 00:00:30,465 Because he's practically doing this for free. 13 00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:33,618 I can't do this! This isn't the face of a cold-blooded hatchet man. 14 00:00:33,743 --> 00:00:35,244 Hmm. Will you do it? 15 00:00:36,871 --> 00:00:38,331 Hey. 16 00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:41,167 Oh. I'm sorry. Did we wake you up? 17 00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,961 No, I was up. Worried about tomorrow. 18 00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:46,130 My art teacher acts like I don't exist. 19 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:49,550 But I've one last chance to impress him at our year-end art fair. 20 00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:52,511 A few students are doing living versions of famous paintings. 21 00:00:52,595 --> 00:00:54,555 I've chosen this one, and I'm using my own family. 22 00:00:54,639 --> 00:00:56,140 Brilliant, right? 23 00:00:56,224 --> 00:00:59,060 When I told him, he said, “that's nice, Alice.” 24 00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:00,645 It's been a year. 25 00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,563 Alice? Really? 26 00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:04,087 Honey, do you think you're nervous... 27 00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,709 Because you've got a little crush on Mr. Jarvis? 28 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,628 No. Are you sure? Because I've seen the way you... 29 00:01:07,652 --> 00:01:09,820 Sounds like you're the one with the crush. 30 00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:12,031 I've just never had a teacher not like me before. 31 00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:13,658 Well, miss Davis. Mmm. 32 00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:15,159 Please. She's a gym teacher. 33 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:17,328 She's to teaching what Dr. Seuss is to medicine. 34 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,497 And to think she didn't like you. 35 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,250 You? What's your problem? 36 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:24,752 Nothing. I'm just excited for tomorrow. 37 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:28,381 I'm getting a medal at school because I put out a fire. 38 00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:31,175 Maybe that's what I should be when I grow up... 39 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,386 A professional medal—getter. 40 00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:38,766 - — Luke, what happened? - I don't know. 41 00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:42,353 I was just walking by and I smelled flames. 42 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,729 I was there. 43 00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:46,023 I don't like this. We're not supposed to be in here. 44 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,483 Just keep a lookout. 45 00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:49,527 We're 10 seconds away from creating luketonium. 46 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:53,322 - Oh, crap! - Look what you did! 47 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,952 - — Luke, what happened? - I don't know. 48 00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,871 I was just walking by and I smelled flames. 49 00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:07,271 Okay, guys. You're gonna be dragging tomorrow if you don't go to bed right now. Let's go. 50 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:09,255 Fine. Come on, Alice. 51 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:10,840 I'll be up in a minute. 52 00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:19,348 Mitchell, I can't tell you how hard— how hard this... 53 00:02:19,432 --> 00:02:22,268 No, that's not personal enough. 54 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,983 Okay, okay. 55 00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:31,819 I can't tell you how hurt and angry this makes me, 56 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,654 but you've been late too many times. 57 00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,239 I'll need your keys. 58 00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:36,907 Daddy, no. I'm so sorry. 59 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:39,785 Honey, I didn't hear you come downstairs. You couldn't sleep either? 60 00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:41,579 Uh, yeah. 61 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:45,041 No, there'sjust, like, a lot on my mind... 62 00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:48,502 With graduation and what to wear... 63 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,087 How does this look? 64 00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:52,423 Wait a second. You're carrying your shoes. 65 00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:56,177 How am I supposed to judge the whole outfit? Put 'em on. 66 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,762 Oh. 67 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:00,514 ,/' hey, heyj 68 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,600 ,/' hey, heyj 69 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,685 ,/' hey, heyj 70 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,687 ,/' hey, heyj 71 00:03:06,771 --> 00:03:07,938 j“ hey if 72 00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:13,319 so make sure you give this menu here a good, thorough reading. 73 00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,613 Soup. Youcfidntevenlookatn. 74 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,909 Soup. Check out what's below the soup— sandwiches. 75 00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,870 Have you check out what is below this outfit? 76 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,789 This doesn't come from sandwiches. 77 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,624 Look. 78 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,919 “The Jay pritchett”? I don't understand. 79 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,380 They named you after a sandwich? 80 00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:34,423 No, they named a sandwich after me. 81 00:03:34,507 --> 00:03:38,677 Turkey, bacon, Swiss cheese, red peppers, anchovies on wheat? 82 00:03:38,761 --> 00:03:40,388 Most people stop after salty bacon, 83 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:42,056 but I double down with anchovies. 84 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,392 Were you making a sandwich or attracting deer? 85 00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:46,394 Is this bum bothering you, miss? 86 00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:49,164 I should get a picture of this. An actual waitress sighting in this dump. 87 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:52,900 I took a chance and put in an order for your sandwich, 88 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:55,778 although most people like their Jay pritchetts to go. 89 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,948 - What's happening? - Gloria, it's Maxine. 90 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,533 So you're married to Jay. 91 00:04:00,616 --> 00:04:02,410 Where'd you tie up your seeing eye dog? 92 00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:04,745 No, no, I'm not, um... 93 00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:07,373 Okay, I get it. I get it. 94 00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:10,018 Here's that number for that neck doctor I want you to see. Thanks. 95 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,544 What's wrong with your neck? 96 00:04:11,627 --> 00:04:13,796 For 30 years, I've been hearing it's a handball injury, 97 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:16,382 but it always seems to get worse with stress. 98 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,134 Maybe it's that audit he's got comin' up. 99 00:04:18,217 --> 00:04:19,760 - Audit? - Nothing. 100 00:04:19,844 --> 00:04:22,555 Oh, isn't that cute? He doesn't want you to worry. 101 00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,767 Here's your sandwich. Now you should worry. 102 00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,686 Look at it. My prettiest child. 103 00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:32,481 Why didn't you tell me about your neck? It's fine. Take a bite. 104 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,275 Your company's getting audited? Nothing! 105 00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:37,337 Three bad days, then it's over. Come on! I'm anxious to hear what you think. 106 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:39,780 Uh—huh? Uh-huh? 107 00:04:39,864 --> 00:04:41,532 I see it growin' on you. 108 00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,201 It's like Maxine when she first tried it— I don't like it. 109 00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:47,955 You probably didn't get all— hey, I try it. I don't like it. 110 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,708 That's all you can say? It tastes bad in my mouth. 111 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:55,004 It's like a fish and a Turkey beat themselves to death with a pepper. 112 00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,298 Okay, fair enough. Maybe a little picky, though, 113 00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,341 from someone who prepared a Colombian specialty... 114 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:02,720 And said, “why are you not eating the hooves? They're the best part.” 115 00:05:04,597 --> 00:05:05,848 I'm back! 116 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,100 Oh, hey, uncle cam. 117 00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:10,227 Oh, thanks again for picking me up last night. 118 00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,354 You're welcome. But you have to be more careful. 119 00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:13,981 I was the responsible one. 120 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,001 Lisa was drinking, and I took her keys, and then everything... 121 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,276 I understand. 122 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,737 My senior year, I had a pretty crazy night myself, 123 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,239 involving a bottle of corn mash and an overturned plow. 124 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,158 Seriously? Yeah. You don't know terror... 125 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,678 Until you've had to stare down the eyes of a Missouri state trooper... 126 00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:28,454 And talk your way out of a p.U.I. 127 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,291 Honey, you don't drink coffee. 128 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,894 I do when I've been up half the night... 129 00:05:33,918 --> 00:05:35,687 Worrying about a project that's only one-third done, 130 00:05:35,711 --> 00:05:37,791 and I still have an apron to sew, scenery to paint... 131 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,674 Plus my normal crushing workload, so... 132 00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,885 Unless you have a better way for me to stimul... 133 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,888 God. Coffee's bitter. 134 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,806 That was your first sip? 135 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,518 Okay, I got the chafing dish, salt and pepper shakers. 136 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,269 Perfect matches, both. 137 00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,438 I may have to readjust my grapes. 138 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:57,399 Huh. Wow. I'll just give you a little privacy. 139 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,319 Welcome back to the light show. 140 00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:02,279 Hi, Lily. Hi. 141 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,281 Hi, daddy. 142 00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:07,284 Lily. Sweetheart, no. 143 00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:09,537 No, no, no, no. We're— We're not gonna do that today. 144 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,665 Actually— actually, Claire, we're trying not to use the word “no” so much. 145 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:16,210 We just read a book that said children learn to rebel against that word. 146 00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:19,171 Uh—huh. So we redirect her into a new activity instead. 147 00:06:19,255 --> 00:06:21,423 Here. Well, just watch this. 148 00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:23,592 Lily, sweetie, hi. It's daddy here. 149 00:06:23,676 --> 00:06:25,196 Would you like to listen to some music? 150 00:06:25,261 --> 00:06:29,223 - Okay. There you go. See? - , /', /' 151 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:32,601 Every new generation thinks they have cracked the code on child rearing. 152 00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:35,145 What's the latest theory? “Never say no.” 153 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:37,565 I say no every day in this house. 154 00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,275 But at night, she's a yes machine. 155 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,443 No. 156 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:46,657 Well, it doesn't seem that she is redirecting her own energy as much as using a lot of ours. 157 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:51,412 But do you see how she's slowly transitioning from the lights to the music? 158 00:06:51,495 --> 00:06:53,872 Yeah. Yeah, I do. 159 00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:58,460 It's hard to believe there was ever a time when we just said, “stop doing that.” 160 00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:01,046 The garbage disposal. 161 00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:02,590 Lhy. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 162 00:07:02,673 --> 00:07:06,176 Not— let's redirect you into a nap, huh? 163 00:07:06,302 --> 00:07:10,264 Actually, we're doing this new thing where we let her tell us when she wants to take a nap. 164 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,474 It's called “being your own nap captain.” 165 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,977 Mm-hmm. Come on, sweetie. 166 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,360 Hey, hey. Phil. 167 00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:24,588 Hey. Did you ring the doorbell? 168 00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:27,406 Oh, no, 'cause I have these two coffees. 169 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,199 One is for you. Thank you. 170 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:31,493 Here's my life— a full-time job, 171 00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:33,954 a three—year—old and a second one on the way. 172 00:07:34,038 --> 00:07:38,292 And as a favor, I agreed to do a little work for Phil's agency. 173 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,794 The problem is, I'm very good, 174 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:43,422 and the more I do, the more they want me. 175 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,299 I—I even turned in a few assignments late... 176 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,462 So that they'd fall out of love with me a little bit. 177 00:07:47,509 --> 00:07:49,303 Right. 178 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,305 How— how long have you been standing here? 179 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:53,265 Are—are you— are you all right? Oh, yeah. 180 00:07:53,349 --> 00:07:57,353 - — 'Cause you're really blinking. - Mm-mmm. 181 00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:58,937 I'm a stress blinker. 182 00:07:59,021 --> 00:08:02,316 Um, and what really gets me going is confrontation. 183 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:06,028 Hate it. I—I avoid it at all costs. Terrible at it. 184 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:08,614 Once, i-i, uh— I tried to break up with a girl, 185 00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:12,660 and I danced around it so much, she didn't know I had broken up with her. 186 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,662 Twenty years later, we're still married. 187 00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:17,956 I am... really sorry... 188 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:20,834 About the cold coffee. 189 00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:24,129 It's not that cold. It's lukewarm, so... 190 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,131 Okay, so— funny story about that expression. 191 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:30,135 When the kids were younger, we had a, uh— a wading pool. Uh-huh. 192 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:33,263 And occasionally Luke would have an accident and, um, Alex would scream. 193 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:36,850 And we'd say, um, “it's okay, honey. He's just making it lukewarm.” 194 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:42,429 What else? What else? So I gotta get going, but I, uh... 195 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,858 Okay, wait. I'm just gonna come straight out and say it. 196 00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:47,003 Mitchell, you've done a wonderful job for the agency... 197 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,297 Since you decided you'd help us out for just a little bit. 198 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:51,532 We couldn't ask for more, could we? 199 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,325 I wish it didn't have to end. 200 00:08:53,409 --> 00:08:56,829 In fact, if it was up to me, you'd stay on forever, but it is not... 201 00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:59,206 Phil, Phil. Just up to me, is it, so... 202 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:02,626 Phil, I saw this coming, and-and— look. 203 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:07,214 I bailed. I made an excuse andlefi. 204 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,174 But I—I've— I've gotta be straight with him. 205 00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:11,927 You know, “Phil, I cannot stay on with your firm forever.” 206 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,513 Oh, god, it's gonna crush him. 207 00:09:15,848 --> 00:09:17,683 Maybe I can get Claire to do it. 208 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,184 Well, that was easy. 209 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,635 We're really proud of you, buddy. See you at the ceremony. 210 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,486 You're not a hero. 211 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,530 I put out a fire. A fire you started. 212 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,073 Was there a fire? Yes. 213 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,616 Did I put it out? That's not... 214 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:36,827 Answer the question. Yes. 215 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,829 I'm getting an award for it. 216 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,874 If they gave awards for starting fires, I'd be getting one of those too. 217 00:09:41,957 --> 00:09:44,710 I know you have a conscience, Luke. 218 00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,755 Do you see this flag? It stands forjustice. 219 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,631 So when that fire marshal gets here, 220 00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:53,177 I know you're going to look at that flag, do the right thing. 221 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:03,103 You were very quiet all the way home. 222 00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:05,898 Are you upset at me because I honked at that old lady? 223 00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:09,067 Normally we leave the honking to the driver, but I'm used to it. 224 00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:10,986 Is it because of the sandwich? 225 00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:14,531 You maybe could've eaten half of it, said a couple of nice things. 226 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,533 It's just a sandwich, Jay. 227 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,660 It's not about the delicious sandwich, Gloria. 228 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:21,580 It's about being respectful of a person's feelings. 229 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,290 But I was just being honest. 230 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,852 You don't have to be honest about every little thing in a relationship. 231 00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:28,128 Some things you say, some things you don't. 232 00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:31,048 Oh. What are the things that you don't say? 233 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:33,026 Gloria, I really don't want to do this anymore. Oh, really? 234 00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:36,220 But you cannot just try to teach me a lesson and then not— okay, fine. 235 00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,889 I don't say this, but it... 236 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,810 Bothers me a little bit that you're just a tiny bit loud. 237 00:10:42,935 --> 00:10:43,977 Loud? Not all the time. 238 00:10:44,061 --> 00:10:45,854 Only when you— You know, when you talk. 239 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,774 So I embarrass you? Gloria. 240 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:51,276 What? Am I being too loud again? 241 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,487 All right. Buckle up. Oh. 242 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,864 I'm gonna go and try to do the laundry, 243 00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:58,492 and I'm gonna do it very quietly so I don't bother you. 244 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:00,077 Maybe Manny can help me. 245 00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:03,288 Manny. I get it. 246 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,749 Manny. I get it. 247 00:11:08,752 --> 00:11:10,420 Now you're not even making any noise. 248 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,968 Okay, this is way too many grapes. 249 00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:18,178 And this spoon is modern day, so if we use it, 250 00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:20,824 everyone at the table has to react in shock at the spoon from the future. 251 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:21,888 Okay... 252 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:23,350 And that went down the drain. 253 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:25,018 And you need a nap. 254 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:26,895 You need a nap. 255 00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,064 I got it. Ooh, I lost it. Shoot 256 00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,441 let me know if! Can eliminate any distractions for you. 257 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:34,987 I got it. No, I got a finger on it. There it is. Oh, lost it again. 258 00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,798 Maybe you should just wait until it comes to you. 259 00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:39,491 You know, make it the captain of its own spoon platoon. 260 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,386 I understand the point you're making, Claire, but... 261 00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,120 Oh, now I'm stuck. 262 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,391 Yeah, cam. You are stuck. You are stuck on a philosophy that clearly doesn't work. 263 00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:49,126 Sometimes you need to say “no” to a child. 264 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,712 Yeah, and sometimes you need to say “no” to an adult. 265 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:55,132 No, Claire, no. I don't need help raising my child. 266 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,135 Oh, okay. Sorry. 267 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,179 Guess I do have a lot to learn. 268 00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:04,850 Right now, I'm looking foward to learning if you will get your arm out of there... 269 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:07,853 Before Lily gets to the garbage disposal switch. 270 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,233 Um— Lily, sweetie? 271 00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,795 - — Can—can you do something, please, Claire? - I would like to, really. 272 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:17,539 I would. But I would probably just say no... 273 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:20,282 And shred her confidence and mangle her self-esteem. 274 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:23,535 Okay, fine. I'm sorry. Stop her! Stop her! What to do? What to do? 275 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:25,245 - — Sweetie! Claire! - What to do? 276 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,375 Ohlcm! 277 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,336 Yes! Ohh. 278 00:12:32,461 --> 00:12:33,921 Ohh. 279 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:37,883 You think that's funny, don't you? 280 00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,469 Yes. Well, it's wicked, Claire. It's wicked. 281 00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:43,055 Come on. We're leaving, Lily. Lily! 282 00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:48,268 It's living art. We stay perfectly still for 90 seconds, basically doing nothing. 283 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,563 Sounds like my first wife. I don't know. She always moved for me. 284 00:12:51,647 --> 00:12:54,024 Long as you both agree it was only 90 seconds. 285 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,835 Two nerds with one stone! 286 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,319 I love working in an office. 287 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,631 Is that your brother—in-law? I thought you fired him. 288 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:02,407 - I did. Before work. - Then what's he doin' here? 289 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:04,385 Is he disgruntled? He looks disgruntled. 290 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,286 No, he always looks like that. 291 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:09,039 Hey. How's it goin'? Hey. 292 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,583 Hey, listen. Okay, I know this is uncomfortable, 293 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:14,044 but we really need to talk about my future here. 294 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,755 But I— I thought we— No, I know, I know. 295 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,359 I led you to believe that I'd be able to stay on here indefinitely and... 296 00:13:19,383 --> 00:13:21,760 Okay, okay. Don't get all blinky. 297 00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:24,137 Oh. It's not all bad news, okay? 298 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:25,941 You will have me until July, like we agreed. 299 00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,432 Okay, great. 300 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,619 Could you jump on the elevator with me real quick? Yes, yes. 301 00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:32,938 I could use a hand carrying up some stuff from my car. 302 00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:35,857 Oh, my goodness. I probably need some empty boxes, don't I? 303 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:38,443 You know what? You head down. I'll meet you at the glass doors. 304 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:40,546 There was something else. What was it? I know it's in there. 305 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,781 Oh, yeah. You're fired. What? Fired? 306 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:47,369 What's goin' on with these things? 307 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,788 You tryin' to open 'em? Mm-hmm. 308 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,581 I better get somebody. 309 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,985 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're firing me? 310 00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:57,337 - — I don't even like this job. - That can't be safe. 311 00:13:57,421 --> 00:13:59,273 - — Someone trapped in there? - The guy they fired. 312 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,425 Oh, the la - lazy? Zy guy? 313 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,945 You handed in a couple of things late. I should've warned you. 314 00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:05,512 I'm terrible at breaking bad news. 315 00:14:05,595 --> 00:14:08,265 Then why did you come over to my house and tell me how great I was? 316 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,225 That was me trying to fire you. 317 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:13,308 I haven't felt like this since I tried to break up with Claire 20 years ago. 318 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,124 - — Someone stuck again? - That lawyer with the attitude they just fired. 319 00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:19,651 They said it was your attitude, like you were doing us a favor. 320 00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:21,653 I was doing you a favor. 321 00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:24,239 - — Why didn't he take the stairs like everyone else? - Lazy. 322 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:28,827 Don't worry. He can't get you. 323 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:32,205 Two hours I was stuck in there, with an entire office of people staring at me. 324 00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:35,375 I— I finally had to lie down. 325 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,295 Didn't help my reputation. 326 00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:42,215 Figures. 327 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:55,937 You guys nailed it. 328 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,982 Dude, that was surreal. Get it? 329 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:02,194 Dad, come on. We have a minute to set up! 330 00:15:02,277 --> 00:15:03,737 Where are Mitchell and cam? 331 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,448 Hey, Manny. Thanks for what you said before about the flag. 332 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,159 It really got me thinking. I knew you had a conscience, Luke. 333 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,161 More importantly, you've got a good... 334 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,413 You didn't. Yep. 335 00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:16,875 And thanks to you, I had them move the ceremony to right under the flag. 336 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:18,710 I'll sign a picture for you. 337 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,733 - Oh, there you are. I was afraid you weren't coming. - It was a discussion. 338 00:15:23,757 --> 00:15:26,510 If we weren't gonna show up, we would have clearly let you know... 339 00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,136 And not humiliated you in public. 340 00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,764 If it's any consolation, the lawyer we hired to replace you... 341 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,349 Is already suing the elevator company. 342 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,951 Ow! You're sitting on my hand. 343 00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:35,703 Be thankful you have two. I almost lost one today. 344 00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:38,021 Stop being such a baby. She was nowhere near that switch. 345 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:40,107 Shh! Keep your voices down. We're about to go on. 346 00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,692 Why are you looking at me? Am I too loud? 347 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,903 - — Is that what everybody thinks? - What? 348 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,173 - — There's a backstory here you don't want to know about. - I want Turkey. 349 00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,949 Save your appetite, baby girl. 350 00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:51,344 And don't forget, aftennards we're goin' to Lenny's for a bite to eat. 351 00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,161 More than a bite, if you value my feelings. 352 00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:54,830 Oh, great. We get to see Maxine. 353 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,540 What? You know Maxine too? 354 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:58,309 Oh, we all know Maxine. Love. 355 00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:02,504 Second best hugger in the world after Mr. Burt Reynolds. Story to follow. 356 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:05,799 Guys, this will all be over in 90 seconds. Hold your poses. 357 00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,968 I really want to impress Mr. Gorgeous. 358 00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,302 Jarvis! Shut up! 359 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:12,139 Hey, Mitch, I know this isn't a good time. 360 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,057 I just want you to know, I'm really... 361 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,701 I know, Phil. You're really sorry, okay? 362 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:18,204 But this is gonna take me a little time to get over, all right? 363 00:16:18,228 --> 00:16:20,373 Actually, I was gonna say I'm really gonna need your parking pass. 364 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,858 What? Our next stage presentation... 365 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:25,318 Will be Alex Dunphy's lnterpretat/on... 366 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:28,113 Of Norman Rockwell's 7943 painting freedom from want. 367 00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:30,615 How do you sleep at night, Luke? 368 00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:32,492 With a medal around my neck. Shh! 369 00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:34,494 I want Turkey. Lily, no! 370 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:36,788 She doesn't understand that word. Cram it, Claire. 371 00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:40,000 Control your child, cam. It's not that difficult. I've raised three. 372 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,334 Cam! Really? 373 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,753 Why don't you ask Haley what time she got home last night? 374 00:16:43,879 --> 00:16:45,630 Uncle cam! Sorry, dear. Collateral damage. 375 00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,195 - What is he talking about? - Shh! 376 00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:48,859 I Jay I your arms are shaking. Oh, yeah. 377 00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:51,011 I'm sure that the great Maxine can do a betterjob! 378 00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:53,763 You can criticize my parenting all you like, cam, 379 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,515 but my son just won a medal. 380 00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:58,018 For a fire he started. — Luke, is that true? 381 00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,980 - Ow! - Ay, how long? It's getting heavy. 382 00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:04,917 You're not getting that parking pass back. I tried to let you down easy. 383 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,621 You don't know how to talk to people, Phil. 384 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,546 It's just like when Claire didn't even know you dumped her. 385 00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,155 What? When did dad dump you? 386 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:12,324 I didn't dump her. I just tried to. 387 00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,035 I am losing it! Just a few more seconds! 388 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:19,039 I want Turkey. Lily, no! 389 00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:22,518 We really are trying to not say that word. 390 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,336 B—minus. 391 00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:26,338 But there was a silver lining. 392 00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:31,009 “I expected more, Alex.” 393 00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,552 Alex! 394 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,639 I am gonna call Haley and tell her we're not going to that deli. 395 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,265 I can't take another minute of cam. 396 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:40,149 You know, I'm not even sure I believe all these new parenting theories, 397 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:43,188 but I'll be damned if I'm gonna let her tell me they're wrong. 398 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:44,731 We are not going to dinner. 399 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,483 I tried that sandwich. 400 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,446 It's not that good. You're not missing anything. 401 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,862 I sure won't miss seeing Luke and that stupid medal. 402 00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:53,073 I play by the rules. Where's my medal? 403 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:56,576 Jay can stay with that Maxine. She's not loud, like me. 404 00:17:56,660 --> 00:18:00,997 In fairness, you can be a little quick to give advice. 405 00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:03,792 Well, I'm always ready to help, if that's what you mean, yeah. 406 00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:08,755 Yeah, but if you're not careful, it can come off a little... know-it-all-y. 407 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:10,215 That's not a word. 408 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:14,552 What you mean to say is it can come off like I know it all. 409 00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:17,806 Have I always been this way? It's why I wanted to break up with you. 410 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:20,225 The word “fired” doesn't even apply. 411 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,102 You can't get fired from a favor. 412 00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:24,396 Okay, sweetie. Maybe you should just let it go. 413 00:18:24,479 --> 00:18:26,940 Like I always say, it's better to carry a tune than a grudge. 414 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,276 Okay, you never said that, but... 415 00:18:29,359 --> 00:18:31,653 And what about this grudge you're holding against Claire? 416 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,530 I don't see you trading that in for a tune. 417 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,533 That is completely different. She insulted my parenting skills. 418 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,202 Which, you have to admit, you can be pretty defensive about. 419 00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,832 Okay, so maybe we both can be a little sensitive. 420 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:46,084 N-No, no. Mm-mmm, no. 421 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,003 These are— these are not equal. 422 00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:50,171 No, you have no idea what it feels like to be fired. 423 00:18:50,255 --> 00:18:52,716 Yes, I do. I've been fired. Everyone has. 424 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,301 Not me. 425 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:56,720 Nevef? No.Nope. 426 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,264 I've always been very good at what I do. 427 00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,890 So then maybe what you're feeling... 428 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:04,227 Is a little insecure about your work for the first time. 429 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,439 That's hogwash. 430 00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:11,192 As someone who's seen actual hogwash, I can assure you that it's not. 431 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:14,654 I don't know why you're so bothered by Maxine. She's nice. 432 00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:19,409 Oh, good. Why don't you, Jay and Maxine live together eating sandwiches forever? 433 00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,495 Can I float a theory here, mom? 434 00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:25,540 You sound like you're jealous. Ay, please. 435 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:28,084 Me, jealous of that woman? 436 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,920 I just don't like the way they talk to each other. 437 00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:34,674 And the little jokes, and she knows everything about his life. 438 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:37,594 Just makes me feel like, uh... 439 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:42,557 Is that jealous? 440 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,936 Ay, my poor sisters. 441 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,776 Just you? I thought the whole family was swinging by. 442 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,254 Who knows what they're doin'? Right now they're all sniping at each other. 443 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,739 Ah, who needs 'em? Right. As long as I have you, Maxine... 444 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,866 I'm off in five. Hey, Luke. 445 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,993 What's with all the hardware? 446 00:20:02,077 --> 00:20:04,829 Well, he set fire to his school and lied about it. 447 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:07,892 You know, they give medals for anything these days. It's going back tomorrow. 448 00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:11,419 He doesn't get a lot of medals. 449 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,464 I just really need onecfithesetoday. 450 00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,383 Don't hold back. Ohh. 451 00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:18,093 My girls. There they are. 452 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:19,677 Hello, hello. 453 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,347 Hey, cam. Hey! 454 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,891 Come on in. 455 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,979 - — I, uh— I appreciate your coming. - Yeah. 456 00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:31,523 And again, I really, really... 457 00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:32,732 Thank you. Yeah. 458 00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:34,984 Here she is. [ Maxine I look who made it. 459 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,570 Ho/a, Maxine. So nice to see you. 460 00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,823 Let me get you some menus. We don't need it. 461 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,908 It's Jay pritchetts all around. 462 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,247 Gloria, if you want your sandwich without anchovies, I won't be offended. 463 00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,790 Ohh. 464 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,542 Course, then it'll be a Jack feldman. 465 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,838 Hey, have you ever gotten a hug from Maxine? 466 00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:00,301 Hey yeah? 467 00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:02,095 - Hey, man. - Is the repair guy here? 468 00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,805 He's workin' on it. Um... 469 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:06,516 Listen, uh, it's Katie's birthday— Skip's assistant. 470 00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,518 Big 3-0. Still no ring. 471 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,312 - — You woke me up to tell me that? - No. I grabbed you some cake. 472 00:21:11,396 --> 00:21:13,273 Oh. Sure it's not for employees only? 473 00:21:13,356 --> 00:21:14,941 Okay, had that coming. 474 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,836 - Who are you talking to, Phil? - Mitchell. 475 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,696 - Who? — Mitchell, my bro— uh, the lazy guy. 476 00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:22,365 Who was doing you a favor. 477 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,009 All right. Just give me the cake. I'm hungry. 478 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,452 No! 479 00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:27,245 Oh. 480 00:21:32,167 --> 00:21:33,168 English - us - psdh