1 00:00:03,421 --> 00:00:04,505 Good morning. 2 00:00:04,589 --> 00:00:06,048 There's the birthday boy. 3 00:00:06,132 --> 00:00:09,677 Sixty-five candles on one cake. This is a big day for you... 4 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,846 And for the astronauts who can see it from space. 5 00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:13,931 Happy birthday to you. 6 00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:17,643 Thank you. And just so everyone knows, I want a quiet day. 7 00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:19,437 No surprises. 8 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,147 No surprises. 9 00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:23,941 Last night I found out that I am pregnant, 10 00:00:24,025 --> 00:00:27,153 so Jay's gonna get one big surprise. 11 00:00:27,236 --> 00:00:31,365 Okay, two if you count the barbecue apron with the bikini body on it. 12 00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:34,869 I don't blame you, Jay. You've had enough excitement in one lifetime... 13 00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:38,164 The dawn of flight, printed books, agriculture. 14 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,558 All right, what's with all the jokes? 15 00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:40,958 It's insult comedy. 16 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,962 I've been watching old Dean Martin roasts online. 17 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,254 Like this guy knows from the Internet. 18 00:00:45,338 --> 00:00:48,192 The other morning, I saw him looking for the crank on the front of his car. 19 00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,384 Okay, you're done. I make fun, and we laugh. 20 00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,053 But in all seriousness, 21 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,263 if you see a light today, don't walk towards it. 22 00:00:55,932 --> 00:00:58,768 I'm sorry I was asleep when you got home. 23 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,728 Cam and Mitch must be disappointed. 24 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,147 They were really geared up to get that kid. 25 00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:04,899 But there's a silver lining. 26 00:01:04,982 --> 00:01:06,901 You might be right. Babies are a lot of work. 27 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,028 No, that's not what I mean. 28 00:01:09,153 --> 00:01:11,173 I mean— ah, you know, and these two aren't getting any younger. 29 00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:13,324 The last thing they need is to start over. 30 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,117 Would that be so bad? 31 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,037 Hey, Jay. 32 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,205 Hey. 33 00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:20,665 How you doing? 34 00:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,250 What the heck is that? What? 35 00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:23,960 Get him! 36 00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:25,878 Jay has been very explicit... 37 00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:29,632 About what he wants to do for his 65th birthday, 38 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:33,219 but Phil Dunphy reads between the lines. 39 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,137 What the hell is going on? What are you doing? 40 00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:36,764 Making your birthday dreams comes true. 41 00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:39,367 This is your special day, buddy. Should we put him in the trunk? 42 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,935 Why would we put him in the trunk? 43 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,330 - You said there were no bad ideas. - Get this stupid thing off me! 44 00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:46,732 - I thought you said the hood would calm him down. - It works with my falcon. 45 00:01:46,816 --> 00:01:49,360 Don't worry, Gloria. We'll have him back in time for dinner. 46 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,487 Which for him is at 4:00 in the afternoon. 47 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,698 'Cause he's old! I love it! 48 00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,200 Y hey, heyy 49 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:58,286 y hey, heyy 50 00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:00,413 y hey, heyy 51 00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:02,415 y hey, heyy 52 00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:03,666 j hey jv 53 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:08,045 this is really good coffee. 54 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:09,213 It really is. 55 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:10,923 Ah. Is it a medium roast or... 56 00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:12,341 Uh, dark. 57 00:02:12,425 --> 00:02:15,136 Oh. I was gonna say dark. I don't know why I said medium. 58 00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:16,637 Well, you would've been right. 59 00:02:16,721 --> 00:02:18,222 Mmm. 60 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,891 Is it whole milk or... 61 00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:22,977 Two percent. Two percent. 62 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,603 Mm-hmm. 63 00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:26,397 Okay. This is ridiculous. 64 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,733 We need to talk about the elephant in the room. 65 00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:34,169 The giant stuffed elephant was a gift from our good friend pepper. 66 00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:37,199 Gay guys having kids is— It's relatively new, 67 00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:40,536 so our community has not yet learned how to modulate baby gifts. 68 00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:42,747 When Steven and Stefan had little Rocco, 69 00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,666 our friend longinus sent over the whole cast of yo gabba gabba/ 70 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,793 now Rocco cries whenever he sees bright colors. 71 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,962 I'm not allowed over there. No. 72 00:02:50,046 --> 00:02:52,173 I guess we should donate it somewhere, 73 00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:54,717 along with the 800-pound gorilla. 74 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,578 I mean, you know, now that we're not getting a baby, it's... 75 00:02:58,637 --> 00:02:59,680 A decision, by the way, 76 00:02:59,764 --> 00:03:01,724 which seems even better in the light of day. 77 00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,559 Mmm. No, I totally agree. 78 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,144 So we're good? No, we're great. 79 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,104 We couldn't have handled this any better. No. 80 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,190 Where's my new baby brother? 81 00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:12,193 Okay. Uh, a slight oversight. 82 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:14,320 Can I see him? Can we name him Larry? 83 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,197 Okay, sweetie. Here, have a seat with us. 84 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,032 Um, listen. 85 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,992 There's something we need to tell you. 86 00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:21,410 Is it about Larry? 87 00:03:21,494 --> 00:03:23,579 Well, uh, yes. Uh, sort of. 88 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:26,665 Um, it-it turns out that... We're not getting a baby. 89 00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:30,378 Yeah, and I know this— This makes you very sad, 90 00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:32,022 but I promise you we're still a family... 91 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:33,714 Can I have a kitten? 92 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:36,008 A kitten? If I can't have a brother, 93 00:03:36,092 --> 00:03:39,178 then I want a kitten named Larry. 94 00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:42,681 Okay, wh-what's this about? Is Larry on a show? 95 00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:45,684 He's not. Which is what's weird. 96 00:03:48,062 --> 00:03:50,523 Ooh! How was prom? So fun. 97 00:03:50,648 --> 00:03:52,400 Michael and I danced all night. Uh-huh. 98 00:03:52,483 --> 00:03:54,795 Then we stayed after and helped clean up, which was awesome, 99 00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:56,862 because I got to meet next year's trig teacher. 100 00:03:56,946 --> 00:03:58,656 That is not the prom I remember. 101 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,324 I have such a bad headache. 102 00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:02,410 That's the prom I remember. 103 00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:05,454 - Were you drinking? - Mom, do we really have to do this? 104 00:04:05,538 --> 00:04:07,581 You ask if I was drinking, I say “no,” 105 00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:10,292 and we both know that that's not true. 106 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:13,003 I mean, aren't we past this point in our relationship? 107 00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:16,006 - No, young lady, we are not. - Then I wasn't drinking. 108 00:04:16,674 --> 00:04:18,300 Me neither, Mrs. D. 109 00:04:18,384 --> 00:04:21,429 Dear god. Tell me he did not spend the night here. 110 00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:23,848 Mom, do we really have to do this? 111 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:28,936 Mom, I have a big decision to make about poetry camp this summer. 112 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,147 Is this about the walking sticks again? 113 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,149 Pack them all and decide when you're there. 114 00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:35,818 I can either focus on sonnets or free verse. 115 00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:37,903 I've always fancied myself a sonneteer, 116 00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:41,240 but I'm thinking the free verse girls will be freer with everything, 117 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,992 if you catch my meaning. 118 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:45,703 Hmm. Ay I'm sorry, Manny. 119 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,289 I'm sure you will make the right decision. 120 00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,166 Are you okay? You seem distracted. 121 00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:53,252 Manny, sit down. I have to tell you something. 122 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,671 What? 123 00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:57,673 I am pregnant. 124 00:04:57,756 --> 00:04:59,675 You're what? 125 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,927 I'm going to have a baby. 126 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:03,637 Wow. What? 127 00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,514 You're not happy? 128 00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:08,434 Yeah. Sure. It's just a lot to take in. 129 00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:11,145 And I'll be honest, this isn't coming at a great time for me... 130 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:12,980 With everything I've got going on. 131 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,857 This is not your responsibility. 132 00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:17,860 Neither is our wooden salad bowl, but I'm the only one who oils it. 133 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,263 Without me, that thing will soak up dressing like a sponge. 134 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:23,240 Manny, I can take care of a baby. I took care of you. 135 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:26,535 Please. I was an anomaly. I self-potty trained. 136 00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:30,331 I just did not get the appeal of intentionally soiling one's pants. 137 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:34,460 That said, I will admit to missing the kisses on my tummy. 138 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,587 How did Jay take it? 139 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,714 I haven't been able to tell him yet. 140 00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:40,508 He might not be too thrilled. 141 00:05:40,591 --> 00:05:43,886 Do you think? I was starting to wonder the same thing. 142 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,347 He doesn't deal well with change. I know. 143 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:49,475 He still checks the front step for the evening paper. 144 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,436 Don't worry, mom. I'm sure he'll adapt. [ Sighs 1 145 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,439 although he still does call the remote the “clicker.” 146 00:05:55,523 --> 00:05:57,191 Ay, yeah. 147 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:04,490 I'm bored, daddy. Make the car dance. 148 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:07,243 All right. Butjust for a second, all right? 149 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,329 Yay! Yay! 150 00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:13,499 Do it again. No. Once was enough. 151 00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:18,128 If I can't have a brother, then I want the car to dance. 152 00:06:18,212 --> 00:06:21,257 Wow, you are really comfortable playing that card. 153 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,637 They wouldn't take 'em. 154 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,222 [ Sighs 1 155 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,266 they were afraid they might have bedbugs. 156 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:33,143 Are you serious? They rejected our donation? 157 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,771 I was so offended, I almost didn't buy this fiestaware creamer. 158 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,773 Two bucks. Didn't know what they had. 159 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,483 Ah! Score. 160 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:42,236 So what are we gonna do now? 161 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:45,281 Get a kitten and then name it Larry. 162 00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,825 Lily, honey, this is hardly the day to get a kitten, okay? 163 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,744 - Would you just tell her? - I don't know. 164 00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:52,955 I kinda want one now. 165 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,207 You know, we have been through a lot, and maybe... 166 00:06:55,291 --> 00:07:00,045 The presence of a cuddly little friend will help us ease the pain. 167 00:07:00,129 --> 00:07:03,382 Okay, so what you're saying is you have a child-shaped hole in your heart, 168 00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:06,260 and your plan is to cram a cat into there? 169 00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,179 He has a name. 170 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,683 I can't wait till your eyes adjust to the light... 171 00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:15,728 And we see the look on your face. I hate you guys. 172 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:19,064 Hey, Phil, you ever think about growing a beard? I mean, you got the face for it. 173 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,649 Youtmnk? Yeah. 174 00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:22,752 That's funny. I always thought so, but my wife doesn't. 175 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,821 Oh, what does she know? Come on. You got a great nose, those deep-set eyes. 176 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:28,198 I mean, you would look good. Thanks, shorty. 177 00:07:28,324 --> 00:07:31,285 That's, uh— sort of a Jon hamm in between projects. 178 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,786 Okay, put me back in the trunk. 179 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,788 Relax. You're almost there. Nope. I'm done now! 180 00:07:34,872 --> 00:07:36,457 Hey, no! 1 Phil 1 Jay, no! 181 00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:37,916 Heyljay! Vvhoa! 182 00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:41,962 Jayljay! Son of a bitch! Somebody help me! 183 00:07:42,046 --> 00:07:44,006 I would, but— but these pants are cashmere! 184 00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,508 I got you, Jay! 185 00:07:46,592 --> 00:07:48,469 You gotta calm him down. 186 00:07:48,594 --> 00:07:50,846 Punch him in the head. Don't punch him in the head. 187 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:54,767 Don't make me punch you! I will punch you to save you! I think I'm being waterboarded. 188 00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:56,644 You're making me do this! 189 00:07:57,895 --> 00:07:59,897 Get this thing off of me! 190 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:05,569 Happy birthday. We're taking you fishing. 191 00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:11,659 For whatever it's worth, Dylan was very responsible last night. 192 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:13,702 He's a good guy to have around the house. 193 00:08:13,786 --> 00:08:15,579 Hmm. Where are we going with this? 194 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:19,458 Well, since I can't move in with him anymore, he can't afford his apartment. 195 00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,628 So I was wondering if it would be okay... 196 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:25,255 If he could stay with us for a couple weeks? 197 00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:28,592 Sure. Oh, you know what? Why don't you guys take our room? 198 00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,180 She's being facetious. 199 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,015 Sarcastic. 200 00:08:35,099 --> 00:08:36,809 Dylan no stay. 201 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,477 What? Oh, come on! 202 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:41,313 He'd help out a lot. He's very handy. 203 00:08:41,397 --> 00:08:44,149 Really? The guy who locked himself in his car? 204 00:08:44,233 --> 00:08:47,069 You are in no position to be asking for favors, younglady. 205 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,489 Here. Drink this. It's for your hangover. 206 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:53,283 - It smells gross. - Well, then you better drink it fast. 207 00:08:55,828 --> 00:08:57,287 Mm-hmm. 208 00:08:58,247 --> 00:09:00,749 Ew! I'm gonna throw up. Oh! Oh! 209 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,087 That's a hangover cure? 210 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,717 Well, this is probably shot. 211 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,178 Once again, I'd like to apologize for punching you in the head. 212 00:09:13,262 --> 00:09:15,180 It really was the only way to save you, 213 00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:17,558 since you were bound and”.Hooded, 214 00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,560 which leads me to my second apology. 215 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:22,062 Gentlemen, come on. As my uncle used to say, 216 00:09:22,146 --> 00:09:24,857 let's not let a botched kidnapping ruin our whole afternoon. 217 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:27,025 He's right. The whole point of this... 218 00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:29,737 Is for you to enjoy the lake with your three best friends. 219 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,196 Stan coming? 220 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,240 Burn. 221 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:36,493 So, 65, huh? 222 00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:38,912 You're heading into the best years of your life. 223 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,373 That's right. You put in the work. You climbed the mountain. 224 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,376 Now it's time to reap the rewards. I guess you're right. 225 00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,962 - Sounds pretty good to me. - You know, the more I look at you, 226 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,006 the angrier I get that you don't got a beard. 227 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,718 - I had a soul patch once. - A soul patch? That's like a beard's crap. 228 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,763 I golfed six times last week. 229 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,598 Found 42 balls— a new record. 230 00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,681 I don't think my falcon could have found that many, 231 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:02,060 and he can spot a mouse at 600 yards. 232 00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,729 What does that have to do with beards? 233 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,899 I thought we were talking about Jay turning 65 and how good that's gonna be. 234 00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:09,151 That's right. It's gonna be great, Jay. I'm telling ya. 235 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:13,614 I got a vegetable garden. Two years ago, it was a patch of dirt in my backyard. 236 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:17,618 Now I got tomatoes, I got five kinds of beans, lgotsquash. 237 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:21,330 And between you and me, I'm even thinking about pickling my own cucumbers. 238 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:23,373 Why would that be between you and me? 239 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,834 Because there's a finite number of pickles. 240 00:10:25,918 --> 00:10:27,920 But don't worry. All you guys are on the list. 241 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:30,589 Well, I'd like to make a toast. 242 00:10:30,672 --> 00:10:32,633 To Jay, who's not particularly buoyant. 243 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,635 And again, I'm very sorry about that, but... 244 00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:36,845 He's the best father-in-law a guy could ask for. 245 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,723 All right. And we're— we're all really lucky to know him. Cheers. 246 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,725 Hear, hear. Salute! 247 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:44,978 Thanks, guys. You know what? It is kinda nice being out here with all of ya. 248 00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:47,343 Hey, let's do some fishing. I'm starting to feel better... 249 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,000 Now that I'm finally getting dry. 250 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,442 Let's do this! 251 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,236 All right! Let's do it! 252 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:02,371 Sure, I had a little peppermint schnapps at my prom, but I hid it from my parents, 253 00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,499 and I kicked my boyfriend out before they woke up. 254 00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:07,334 It's called respect. 255 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,127 I'm pregnant. 256 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,214 You're gonna get fat. 257 00:11:13,382 --> 00:11:15,759 Oh! Okay— It's great. It's great! 258 00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:18,095 You're pregnant! It's great! Congratulations! 259 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,848 Wow. It was a surprise. 260 00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:23,141 Yeah, I'll bet. What did my dad say? 261 00:11:23,225 --> 00:11:24,977 I haven't told him yet. 262 00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:27,771 I worry that he's going to think it's not such great news. 263 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,357 Oh, no. Don't be silly. 264 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,150 He's gonna be thrilled. 265 00:11:33,527 --> 00:11:35,529 I knew he wasn't gonna be thrilled. 266 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,739 And if history was any indication, 267 00:11:37,823 --> 00:11:39,825 he wasn't gonna be able to hide it. 268 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,953 It's a French-Canadian delicacy called poutine. 269 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:46,957 Mmm. Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth. 270 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:48,876 Mm-hmm. 271 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,712 We're here! 272 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:53,589 Hi! 273 00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,859 - What'd you do to your hair? - Thought I'd try something different. 274 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,885 What, looking old? 275 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:04,433 I had to get to dad before he said something insensitive to Gloria. 276 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,895 She's gonna get really fat though. 277 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:13,108 Dad, call me back. I have something very important to tell you... 278 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:16,111 So when you get home you don't say something stupid like you usually do. 279 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,530 Oh, happy birthday. 280 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,866 Yeah. I've gotta say, 281 00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:24,494 you're handling this baby thing better than I would've expected. What do you mean? 282 00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:26,705 You're used to being the only kid in the house. 283 00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,665 Now there's gonna be a new kid. 284 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,626 Jay's kid. So? 285 00:12:30,709 --> 00:12:34,588 Well, the old Manny would've been worried that Jay would love the new kid more. 286 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:36,715 I think you're underestimating how adorable I am. 287 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,635 You're right. You're way cuter than a baby. 288 00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:41,762 I'm gonna go check on dinner. 289 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:47,184 Sometimes I just like to toss a grenade and run away. 290 00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,603 All right. Take a whiff. 291 00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:52,498 Make sure you like it, 'cause that's what our couch is gonna smell like. 292 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,650 Okay, hi. Yes, we're gonna take this one. 293 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,777 Oh, I'm gonna need you to slow down a bit. 294 00:12:56,860 --> 00:13:00,405 There's a process we need to go through to see if you're a suitable cat guardian. 295 00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,092 Oh, really? Because I thought the process was I say, “we'll take this one,” 296 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,303 and then you say, “thank god, because we have too many cats.” 297 00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,704 No. We need to ensure these cats are going to good homes. 298 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:11,375 That's why we need you to fill out this form, and then there'll be a site visit. 299 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:14,086 Okay, um, we've just been through a very frustrating year... 300 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,088 Trying to adopt a baby, so... 301 00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:18,149 You'll forgive us if we're not really in the mood... 302 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,092 To jump through too many hoops for a cat. 303 00:13:20,175 --> 00:13:22,219 Oh. Why wouldn't they give you a baby? 304 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,137 - It's complicated. - So are cats. 305 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,200 Are they? 'Cause that one over there has been licking itself ever since we got here. 306 00:13:27,224 --> 00:13:30,185 Okay, you know what? I'm— I can't do this. 307 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:33,188 - What about Larry? - I'm sorry, Lily. Not today. 308 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:38,110 Mitchell stormed off, but I couldn't. 309 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:40,570 I had to give her a piece of my mind. And how'd that go? 310 00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:42,823 Yeah. I may have strayed off topic just a bit. 311 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:46,451 No, sir. No, she will always be Norma jeane baker to me. 312 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:49,496 What is your point exactly? That like the thrice-married starlet, 313 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:52,833 this cat is being deprived a stable home. 314 00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:56,003 I am sorry if you're upset. You're the one who should be upset, ma'am. 315 00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:58,505 We are animal lovers. 316 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:01,299 That cat would've been on the receiving end of affection... 317 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:03,301 24 hours a day. 318 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:07,556 Satisfying its every need would've been our top priority. 319 00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:16,815 Okay, in light of that tableau, I would like to take back the phrase “receiving end.” 320 00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,487 Mom, I've decided I'm not going to poetry camp. 321 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:24,698 What? Why not? 'Cause by the time I come back, 322 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,658 Jay will have turned my room into a nursery. 323 00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,119 No, he won't. I'm not his real kid. 324 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,413 I'll be as insignificant as a whisper in a windstorm. 325 00:14:31,496 --> 00:14:34,249 Ay, listen to you. You have a gift. 326 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,127 You have to go to the poetry camp. I don't think I can risk it. 327 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,422 Manny, please. I have too much to worry about right now. Okay? 328 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:43,967 You? I dug a pretty big hole for myself with those insult jokes this morning. 329 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,136 Why didn't I learn from rickles? 330 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:49,014 You gotta end with some ticker. 331 00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:53,268 Okay, I give up. I can't find a position that's not sexual. 332 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,395 Just calm down. I can't calm down. 333 00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:58,190 You know, maybe we're not as okay as we keep saying we are. 334 00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:01,026 I know. Maybe we should go away. 335 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,153 You know, go some place to heal. 336 00:15:03,278 --> 00:15:06,281 Where? I don't know. Some place with a vibrant theater scene... 337 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:09,618 Hmm. Top-notch restaurants... 338 00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:12,013 The Jewel of Missouri's white river. We're not going to Branson. 339 00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:15,248 Okay, fine. Where would you go? 340 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:18,168 I don't know. Maybe Europe? London? Mmm. 341 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,337 Just somewhere far away. I... 342 00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:24,466 I'm just sad, cam. I am too. 343 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,928 You know, I had our mornings all planned out. 344 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,305 The baby and I would walk Lily to kindergarten... 345 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,828 And then cutback home through the park and feed those ducks... 346 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:35,769 That you're not supposed to feed, but everybody does. 347 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:39,815 I bought a picture frame for my desk, and it's just sitting there, 348 00:15:39,898 --> 00:15:42,067 waiting for his face. 349 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,652 Come here. 350 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:48,073 I already feel better. Me too. 351 00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:50,242 Yeah. See what the power of a hug can do? 352 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,727 Just saved us a long plane ride with a toddler. 353 00:15:52,828 --> 00:15:55,747 And a cat that we didn't want. Oh, we're still getting that. 354 00:15:58,083 --> 00:16:00,252 All right. How does this look? 355 00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:03,338 Perfectly innocent. They're not even touching. 356 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,882 Great. Okay. Let's go. All right. 357 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,176 You ready, honey? 358 00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:11,388 All right. 359 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,307 Go. Go. 360 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,893 - Hey, mrs d _ hmm? Unphy. 361 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:19,437 I heard about what Haley asked you, and just so you know, 362 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:22,107 I never wanted to put you in that position. 363 00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,192 - I'll be fine. - That's good to know. 364 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,988 My cousin Dylan said I could stay at his house. 365 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:30,157 Well, not really a! His house. 366 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,742 More like behind it, in the garage. 367 00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,828 Okay. Well, actually, there are no walls, 368 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,539 sowsmomof a porte cochere. Fancy. 369 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,249 Anyway, I'll be sleeping in it. 370 00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:41,209 It's got a bathroom. Hmm! 371 00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:43,003 More of a half bath. Oh. 372 00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:45,005 It's a coffee can. Aw. 373 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:48,842 Anyway, I'll be fine once I find a nice tent to protect me from the coyotes. 374 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,219 Well, be sure to hang your food up high. 375 00:16:51,303 --> 00:16:53,471 We're back. 376 00:16:53,555 --> 00:16:55,348 Birthday boy is here. 377 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:58,518 - Hey, Jay, you're all wrinkled. - Yeah, yeah, I'm old. I get it. 378 00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:01,747 No, I mean your clothes. Yeah, when I was your age, I was wearing animal skins. 379 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,982 Bam! You got me. I think, bam, you got yourself. 380 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,734 I'm just expressing concern. 381 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,945 Let me guess— about my bone density. You know, you're a real smart-ass. 382 00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:11,448 At this rate, I'm gonna be living in the basement. 383 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:12,741 Lucky. 384 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:14,451 Dad. Dad. Okay, quick. 385 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,596 Just come here one second. I gotta tell you something. 386 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:20,999 Somebody is about to tell you some very important news. 387 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:24,377 And for the first time in your life, I need you to react nicely. 388 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:26,880 I always react nicely. You never do. 389 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:30,008 And this person in question is very vulnerable right now. 390 00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:33,136 So could you please just be loving and supportive? 391 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,013 Happy birthday, dad! 392 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,057 Oh, thank you. Hey. That's a boy. 393 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:40,769 Sorry we're late, but it's for a good reason. 394 00:17:40,852 --> 00:17:43,480 - We're thinking about getting a cat. - Oh. 395 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,732 Well, isn't that wonderful? 396 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:48,610 I'm thrilled for you both. This is a heck of a decision. 397 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:51,488 You have my full support. 398 00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,617 - Okay. - I think it'll be a perfect addition to the family. 399 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,911 I know I'll love the heck out of the little bugger. 400 00:17:57,994 --> 00:18:00,348 I'm just hoping that little one over there doesn't get jealous. 401 00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:03,142 Oh, this little one will be just fine now that he knows where he stands... 402 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:04,834 In the shadow of your new baby! 403 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:06,753 What's he talking about? 404 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,630 He's talking about I am pregnant. 405 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,465 Oh, come on! Pregnant? 406 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:14,052 You gotta be kidding me. Oh, gross. I didn't know grandpa could still do it. 407 00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:17,305 Don't be disrespectful, Luke. Anyone could do it with Gloria. 408 00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:19,599 And if you're too set on your old ways... 409 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:22,602 To be happy about it, I can raise it on my own. 410 00:18:22,686 --> 00:18:24,771 I have done it before, and I can do it now! 411 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:28,191 I come from a very long line of strong Latin woman... 412 00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:30,986 Whose husbands are nowhere to be found! 413 00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,489 Are you done? 414 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,366 Go on! Can I say something? 415 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,911 That's the greatest news I've ever heard. 416 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:41,288 It is? 417 00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:44,833 I spent the day hearing what my future had in store for me, 418 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:46,835 and I didn't like one bit of it. 419 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,296 It felt like my life was ending. 420 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:52,549 And now you're telling me that I get to have a new start... 421 00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:55,552 With the woman of my dreams. 422 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,472 - I think I'm gonna cry. - I'm way ahead of you. 423 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:03,018 Can you believe this? I know. They wouldn't even let us get a cat. 424 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:06,396 - It's gonna be great! - I'm gonna get so fat. 425 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,315 Mostly great. 426 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,364 Oh, gross. They're at it again. 427 00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,408 If you don't like it, dontlook. 428 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:22,162 She looks great, doesntshe? Yeah. 429 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,622 Not really gaining weight the way I would've expected. 430 00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:27,876 I finally understand why people say pregnant women glow. 431 00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:29,919 Phil, I've had three children. 432 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,297 Hey, dad, Gloria, open our present. 433 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,216 My! I hope it's something fancy. 434 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:38,803 It's for the baby. I love it! 435 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:42,140 We got it at a shop at Heathrow, duty-free. 436 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:44,142 Not for long. 437 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,105 Isn't it absolutely brilliant? 438 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,546 Okay, we were in London two weeks. Lose the accent, Madonna. 439 00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:51,483 Why is your face all scratched up? Stupid Larry. 440 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:54,027 This feels so weird. It suits you. 441 00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,946 Don't even joke about it. 442 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,407 That's it. He is moving out of the house tomorrow. 443 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,243 Really? Mm-hmm. Oh, and that beard is going. 444 00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:05,038 Fine. But it's gonna kill shorty. 445 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,916 [Clapping I okay, everybody, let's gather together. 446 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,335 Manny is gonna read us a little something... 447 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,629 That he prepare in his poetry camp. 448 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:16,299 Thank you, mom. This is for my new baby brother or sister. 449 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,219 “Welcome, little one. 450 00:20:19,302 --> 00:20:21,221 Open your eyes and take your place. 451 00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:23,056 This is where you're meant to be, 452 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:24,891 nestled in the bosom of your mother.” 453 00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:26,518 Lucky baby. What? 454 00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,478 Love you, baby. 455 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:32,023 “This is where you're meant to be, in the arms of your father. 456 00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:35,402 His long, long journey has readied him for this day. 457 00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:38,238 Though his skin may be loose, his hair but a wisp... 458 00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:40,240 And his eyes milky with age”... 459 00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:42,617 All right. We're done here. 460 00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:44,828 Get a drink. 461 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,417 Don't feel bad about making me move out, Mrs. D. 462 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,085 I knew this day would come eventually, 463 00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:53,628 and I'm totally covered. 464 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,213 Great. So we'll see you around. 465 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:57,006 I got a place with an old friend of mine. 466 00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,593 Well, not so much of a place as a storage pod. 467 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:03,221 Not so much of a friend as a raccoon. 468 00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,098 Good to know you'll have company. 469 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,809 I call him bubbles because his mouth is all foamy. 470 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:10,854 Dylan, I am onto your little game. I know none of this is true. 471 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,957 You're just trying to guilt me into letting you stay. 472 00:21:12,981 --> 00:21:15,567 Mm-hmm. You're right. I'm sorry. 473 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:17,277 I'll just live in my car. 474 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,945 Think I can borrow a coat hanger... 475 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,197 In case I get locked in there again? 476 00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:23,283 God. What's going on? 477 00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:25,869 No, no, no. No, no. All of it. 478 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,432 Sure you don't want to dance with the devil before I get rid... 479 00:21:29,581 --> 00:21:31,040 Fine.