1 00:00:03,379 --> 00:00:05,506 And we have liftoff. 2 00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:10,178 Yeho? House of the future. 3 00:00:10,261 --> 00:00:11,971 Phil, you have two whole days to yourself. 4 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:15,117 Please tell me you're not gonna spend them trying to wire the house to your iPad. 5 00:00:15,141 --> 00:00:16,410 Nope, 'cause I've already done it. 6 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:17,786 S/70wers and thunderstorms... 7 00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:20,080 I think when you get home, you're gonna be very surprised... 8 00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:23,107 To see that this house has an actual functioning brain in it. 9 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:26,235 Great. Great. Now go out and see some friends. 10 00:00:26,319 --> 00:00:29,155 I'm headed out now. I have a third showing at that colonial. 11 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:31,449 Cam gave me a free pass to his gym. 12 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,576 - I am— not too bright. - Mmm. 13 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:35,620 I am— dim! 14 00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:37,330 Honey, if you could hear yourself. 15 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:38,998 Promise me you'll go outside and play. 16 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:40,583 Miss you too. 17 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,297 Phil Dunphy, this is the year 2025. 18 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,050 Welcome. You're the first one here. 19 00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,345 Y hey, neyy 20 00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:54,430 y hey, neyy 21 00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:56,557 y hey, neyy 22 00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,517 y hey, neyy 23 00:00:58,601 --> 00:00:59,769 j hey jv 24 00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,457 shall we hit the waterslide first? 25 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:05,107 I may just sit in the room for a bit. 26 00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:08,819 Ugh! Stop moping! So you didn't get a date to one stupid dance. 27 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:11,548 It's not one stupid dance. It's the kickoff to the whole dance season. 28 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,075 It's like you've never heard boys talk. 29 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:18,246 Hi. We are here for the academic challenge. It's under “Dunphy.” 30 00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:20,957 Or it could be under “returning champion.” 31 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,459 Not sure how they file these things. 32 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,461 Alex wins things, which is great. 33 00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:28,881 But she puts so much pressure on herself. I... 34 00:01:28,965 --> 00:01:31,759 I almost wish she would lose this year. 35 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:33,487 Plus, that way, I could go on the waterslide. 36 00:01:33,511 --> 00:01:35,930 It's got a corkscrew, two-second free fall... 37 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:38,933 And a radar gun at the bottom. 38 00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,601 I'm Phil. 39 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:42,853 Nothing from the minibar and no pay-per-view. 40 00:01:42,979 --> 00:01:45,940 Can we at least— no, you may not send things out for pressing. 41 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,783 Honey, we have an hour until the competition. 42 00:01:47,817 --> 00:01:49,461 Do you want to go to the contestants mixer? 43 00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:51,237 No, I don't want to humanize them. 44 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,572 Can you believe this is my first bar mitzvah? 45 00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:56,117 You'll love it. I heard the gift bags have smartphones. 46 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,328 Jewish people are so awesome. 47 00:01:59,412 --> 00:02:02,748 Oh, my god. Did you see that? She smiled at me. 48 00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:04,417 People get that way in dance season. 49 00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,419 No girl's ever smiled at me like that. 50 00:02:06,502 --> 00:02:08,379 Luke, we have to go to that bar mitzvah. 51 00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,881 Why? There was a connection. 52 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,510 I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like my whole life has led to this moment. 53 00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,680 You made a very similar speech to get my mom to stop for those churros. 54 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:20,016 Luke, I need you for this. You're sneakier than I am. 55 00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:22,852 You're a bigger liar. You have no moral compass. 56 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,813 Look, thanks for all the compliments. But break into one stupid party? 57 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,899 That's not even a challenge. 58 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,570 Oh, no. Three bar mitzvahs? 59 00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,615 Now it's interesting. 60 00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:39,994 Cam, stop. 61 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:43,622 What? We have to get them out of there. What's taking them? 62 00:02:43,706 --> 00:02:46,625 We have the most amazing gift for Jay and Gloria's nursery. 63 00:02:46,709 --> 00:02:49,837 It was cam's idea, and it's a pretty big swing. 64 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,547 It's not a swing. It's not a swing. 65 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:54,359 I just need Jay and Gloria out of the house for a minimum of four hours... 66 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:55,926 So I can have my crew install it. 67 00:02:56,052 --> 00:02:57,553 Simple. Oh, please. 68 00:02:57,636 --> 00:03:00,157 If it were up to you, we'd get them something off their gift registry. 69 00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:03,076 Oh, you mean the list of things that they specifically said that they wanted? 70 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,019 Oh, they don't know what they want. 71 00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:07,605 Before I snap his finger off! 72 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:12,902 A y, no. Jay was supposed to cancel. We cannot go to lunch. 73 00:03:12,985 --> 00:03:14,528 Oh, no. I am sorry, 74 00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:17,865 but he's supposed to pick up the crib at the store, and I am too tired. 75 00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,076 The baby kick me all night. 76 00:03:20,159 --> 00:03:23,579 It's either going to be a football player or a chorus girl. 77 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,206 You can be both. My senior year, 78 00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:28,209 I was a right-side linebacker and a left-side cancan dancer in gigi. 79 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,187 Wow, she really set you up for that one, didn't she? 80 00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,272 Yeah, when it came out of her mouth, I nearly stopped breathing. 81 00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:34,090 You didn't call them to cancel. 82 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:38,803 Sorry. You want gas money? Don't pay attention to him. He's been very grumpy lately. 83 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,722 Okay, here's a thought— Mitchell, you go to the crib store with Jay. 84 00:03:41,806 --> 00:03:44,308 That way I can spend some quality time with this pretty lady. 85 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,686 No, I'm going to lay down. No, no, I'm gonna take you both to lunch. 86 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:50,231 Okay? There, it's settled. Now go put a lip on. Okay? 87 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:51,834 Fine. I guess you won't get in the way. 88 00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:55,778 You mean it, pa? Really and for true? I won't get in the way? 89 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,572 [Woman I oh, that's a good idea. 90 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:00,324 Oh, yeah. The chairs are rocks. 91 00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:02,576 [ Boy 1 charlemagne. 92 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:06,705 You can get a one-day cushion for eight dollars or a two-day for $12. 93 00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:10,835 Alex dunph y last year, I got two one-dayers— big mistake. 94 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,461 Who wrote the ninety-five theses? 95 00:04:12,545 --> 00:04:15,423 My daughter went on to win the whole thing, and all I could think was, 96 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,508 “I just flushed four dollars down the toilet.” 97 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,093 Tkfiw7ckflwn. 98 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,761 Whoo! Alex! 99 00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:24,807 I guess I just didn't want to presume that we would be here for the two days. 100 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,643 But still, what kind of message was I sending with the one-dayer? 101 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,229 You whooed me? What are you doing here? 102 00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:33,458 I'm out. I got the question wrong, which is embarrassing enough without you whooing me. 103 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:37,111 Alex! Alex, come back here. 104 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,779 Don't! 105 00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:43,451 Wait. What are the last four numbers again? 1 -9-8-4. 106 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:46,254 It's kind of a lucky number for me. It's the year footloose came out. 107 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,789 Oh, yeah. And I really am gonna call you for that rematch. 108 00:04:48,873 --> 00:04:51,459 Anytime. I mean, not super late, but... 109 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,669 Wait. You're a bulldog? 110 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,964 Yeah. You? Um... 111 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,509 I knew there was something about you I liked. 112 00:05:00,593 --> 00:05:03,220 Oh, you mean besides me letting you win? Ha. 113 00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,991 You know, we have a big game today. Do you want to watch it together? 114 00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:08,392 Oh. Uh, well— shoot. I'm— I'm late for a showing. 115 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:11,371 No pressure at all, but if you feel like it, we could watch it at my place. 116 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,856 I could text you the address. All right. Well, thanks. 117 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,901 It was great meeting you, Phil. You too, Dave. 118 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:23,491 Hey, it's me. Yeah, you were totally right about this gym. 119 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:25,409 I just met the cutest guy. 120 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,888 What did I tell you? That place is like a gay bar with dumbbells. 121 00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:29,413 Redundant. 122 00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:31,933 I don't know much about him, but he invited me over to his place... 123 00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:33,459 To watch a football game tonight. 124 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,128 Oh, my gosh. A date. I have a good feeling about this. 125 00:05:36,212 --> 00:05:38,052 Oh, well, don't start planning the wedding yet. 126 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,424 I mean, I'm not even sure if it's a date-date. 127 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,885 You met him at hookup central. Of course it's a date-date. 128 00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:45,429 Am I even ready for a date-date? Tough love time, da vio'. 129 00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:48,015 Simon left you six months ago, and you're bumming everyone out. 130 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,725 It's time to get back up on that horse. 131 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,977 Hope to see you tonight, Dave. 132 00:05:52,061 --> 00:05:54,939 I can't remember the last time a man made that sound for me. 133 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:01,946 .R, r 134 00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:08,369 She's not here. We have the wrong bar mitzvah. 135 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:09,870 Not if you like prime rib, bubbie. 136 00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:11,664 You said to blend. 137 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:15,876 I picked up some expressions at the latke station. P.S. They're hash browns. 138 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:20,005 We're not blending. She's at one of the other two. Come on. 139 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:23,634 Oh. Sorry. Such a hurry, this one. 140 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,219 Come on. 141 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:30,057 That is too cute. What the hell is that? 142 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,184 Oh, that's the store mascot. That's hug-a-bunny. 143 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,478 He goes around and he hugs— no, I get it. 144 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:38,190 Nice for flu season. He ought to be called conjunctivitis bunny. 145 00:06:38,274 --> 00:06:41,652 Okay. Uh, so, dad, the cribs are over there. 146 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:44,947 But while we're here, a little advice— You can never have too many onesies. 147 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,532 All right? Any event, day or night. 148 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,975 Throw one on, little pair of booties— boom— ready to go out. 149 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:53,414 Dress it up. You could dress it down. You could— dad? 150 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,082 Dad. 151 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,959 Something was clearly going on with my dad, 152 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,794 but I wasn't about to get sucked in. 153 00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:02,548 It's happened before. “Dad, you seem sad. Do you wanna talk?” 154 00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:05,301 “Talk? What are we, girlfriends?” 155 00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:11,015 To use a sports reference— put the football away, Lucy. I ain't kickin'. 156 00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:13,475 So Saturday noon? Saturday noon's fine, Jay. 157 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,311 Hey, dad, I picked you up a diaper bag. 158 00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:18,272 Fun fact— this insulated pouch will keep a bottle of prosecco cold... 159 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,608 For an entire wiggles concert. Hi. 160 00:07:20,733 --> 00:07:24,028 Uh, Mitch, it's dr.— Bob Jensen. Nice to meet you. 161 00:07:24,153 --> 00:07:26,030 Jay, I will see you. Yeah, I'll see you then. 162 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,698 Good, Bob. 163 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:33,412 Doctor? Sweater vest? My dad acting all shifty? 164 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,331 He was seeing a shrink. 165 00:07:35,414 --> 00:07:37,541 “Dad, I can see that you're going through something.” 166 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:42,046 “And I can see your bra strap, Oprah. Mind your own business.” 167 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:46,091 Tee up the football all you want, Lucy. Still ain't kickin'. 168 00:07:46,175 --> 00:07:48,469 She clearly misheard the question. 169 00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,262 The acoustics in here are terrible. 170 00:07:50,346 --> 00:07:53,265 Especially for a little girl just getting over an ear infection. 171 00:07:53,349 --> 00:07:54,767 Oh, my god. What are you doing? 172 00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:57,353 I was explaining your— oh, I heard, because my ears are fine. 173 00:07:57,436 --> 00:07:59,021 I'm sorry. I didn't ask her to do this. 174 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,791 I'm trying to help you. No, you were not. You were trying to help you. 175 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,294 You're just mad because now you can't parade me around like some show pony. 176 00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:06,713 That is not true. Oh, don't deny it. You bought the two-day cushion. 177 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:10,574 Who are you to judge? 178 00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:13,369 .R, r 179 00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:16,705 I boy 1 oh, look at him. 180 00:08:22,795 --> 00:08:26,382 Thank you for a fun day, okay? Good-bye. Good-bye? 181 00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:28,509 Ay, cam. Sorry, but the lunch was two hours, 182 00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:30,512 and then you had to show me your first apartment. 183 00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:32,221 Oh, could you believe how I used to live? 184 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:33,806 I really need to take a nap now. 185 00:08:33,889 --> 00:08:36,433 No. No, no. No. No. No, no. No, no. You know what? 186 00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:39,245 I have, uh, something I want you to do that's even more relaxing than a nap. 187 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:40,979 No. I want to take a nap. Yeah. 188 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:43,982 There's my man. 189 00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:46,151 That's me. Your man. 190 00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:48,404 I brought spinach dip. I don't know why. 191 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:50,632 I'll tell you why. 'Cause it's delicious, and you're an awesome guest. 192 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:52,157 - Get in here. - All right. 193 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,201 How are you? Good. You? 194 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,472 By the way, I left a message for my brother-in-law and his partner to join us too. 195 00:08:57,496 --> 00:08:59,998 Oh, more people. Good. 196 00:09:00,124 --> 00:09:03,043 Nice house, by the way. Thanks. 197 00:09:03,127 --> 00:09:06,255 Wait a minute. Is that your family? Are you married? 198 00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,192 Yeah, but don't worry. We have the house to ourselves. They're all out of town. 199 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,510 I am long overdue for a boys' night. 200 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,096 Oh, so your wife is okay with— oh, yeah. 201 00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:17,683 She suggested it. She knows I need this every so often. 202 00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,601 Long as I clean up aftennards, she's fine. 203 00:09:19,727 --> 00:09:21,645 You ready for a Margarita? 204 00:09:21,729 --> 00:09:23,272 Sure. 205 00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:26,734 .R, r 206 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:28,861 Soothing, right? 207 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:32,656 You see, as the music relaxes the baby, you relax. 208 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,700 No, you're making the baby jump on my bladder. 209 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,494 How can it relax listening to a song about a hooker? 210 00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,258 She's not a hooker. She's a private dancer. 211 00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:41,373 A dancer for money. She'll do what you want her to... 212 00:09:41,457 --> 00:09:42,916 My gosh. I taught Lily this song. 213 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,585 Excuse me. 214 00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,003 Heho? 215 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,129 He's marrieo'. 216 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:50,340 To a woman. Yeah, she's out of town. 217 00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:53,343 I don't know. They must have some sort of arrangement or something. 218 00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,554 So what? If they know about it, who cares? 219 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,223 You're not ready for a relationship anyway. Just have some fun. 220 00:09:58,307 --> 00:10:00,809 It feels weird. He has other people coming over. 221 00:10:00,893 --> 00:10:02,603 I think I'm gonna bail on this. 222 00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:05,189 He's just feeling you out like you're feeling him out. 223 00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:08,025 Now I promise you, these other guests will mysteriously cancel. 224 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,788 Hold on just a second, sweetie. 225 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,320 Heho? 226 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:12,905 Hey, you guys still coming? 227 00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,032 Oh, I forgot to call you. We have to cancel. 228 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,367 No problem. Bye. 229 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:21,371 Hey. More margaritas for us. The other guys just canceled. 230 00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:22,915 Are you still there? 231 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,626 You were right. The other guys just canceled. See? 232 00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:27,795 Now listen to me. You're gonna have two margaritas. 233 00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:30,130 Maybe start a third. Laugh at his jokes. 234 00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:33,342 But not in that high falsetto thing. Something more manly. Let's practice. 235 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:36,720 Hey, I'm not gonna laugh for you. You can be very controlling. You know that? 236 00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:39,765 Why does everybody say I'm controlling? Oh. Gotta go. 237 00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:44,102 Looks like this kennel is for bulldogs only. 238 00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:48,232 You all right? Yeah, I'm all right. I'm great. 239 00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:51,652 Oh, good. Listen, uh, i-i don't want this to sound weird, 240 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:56,698 but, um— but you and I, tonight, is this, uh... 241 00:10:56,782 --> 00:11:00,077 .U sorry, Dave, what was that? 242 00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:02,579 Nothing. 243 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:13,006 Here you go. 244 00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:15,610 For a small fee, we can come to your house and assemble it for you. 245 00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:17,469 Yeah, my dad's more of a do-it-yourselfer. 246 00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:19,847 Plus he's not one for strangers in his personal space. 247 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,349 All right. Uh, well, can I help you carry it to your car? 248 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,017 Yeah, he's not gonna go for that either. 249 00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:26,061 The guy won't even use the wheels on his suitcase. 250 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:29,106 Likes everyone to think he's this big, tough guy who— okay. Wow. 251 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,191 Yo! There he is. All right. Let's get this done. 252 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:32,776 Hey, dad, you know... 253 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,612 No. We don't need any help, Mitchell. Just pick up your end. 254 00:11:38,615 --> 00:11:40,868 - Dad, stop, stop, stop. - What? A break already? 255 00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,786 Dad, you're obviously going through something. 256 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:46,081 You do not have to go through this alone. I'm here to talk if you want. 257 00:11:46,164 --> 00:11:49,459 That's really nice of you, Mitchell, but do you wanna do it here? 258 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,838 'Cause I saw a little Princess table with a tea set on it. 259 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,756 You and I could have a real gabfest. 260 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,343 Aaugh! I'm such a blockhead. 261 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,053 Can't we just get this into the car? 262 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:01,781 Why? So you're not late for your shrink session? 263 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:05,559 - What? - Yeah. I picked up on that. Bunny hugger! Saw that too. 264 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,311 Mobile spinner. 265 00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:10,772 I swear to god... 266 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,527 What are you doing back here? 267 00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:18,211 I didn't have the room key, and I don't want to be seen in public. 268 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,240 I thought about what you said before... 269 00:12:20,324 --> 00:12:23,410 - When did China's last emperor ascend the throne? - 1909. 270 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,735 7920? And you can say a lot of things about me, 271 00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:27,640 but I am not someone who lives through her kids. 272 00:12:27,664 --> 00:12:31,084 Sony. It's 7909. Do I like to see you succeed? Of course I do! 273 00:12:31,168 --> 00:12:33,545 - Tritium is an isotope of what element? - Hydrogen. 274 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:36,840 But do I need that to make myself feel important? Uranium? 275 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,425 Absolutely not. 276 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,093 No, the answer is hydrogen. 277 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:43,096 As a matter of fact, I'm a little hurt you would think I was so shallow. 278 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:45,557 The persian satrap y of skudra included which two areas? 279 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,225 Uh... 280 00:12:47,351 --> 00:12:51,688 I know moms like that, and that is not me. No way. 281 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,273 Macedonia and thrace. 282 00:12:53,357 --> 00:12:54,816 Are you freaking kidding me? 283 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:58,028 Macedonia and thrace? What even is that? 284 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:01,281 You were hardly even listening! How could we lose this? 285 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:03,992 I said “we.” 286 00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:05,744 Yeah. You do that sometimes. 287 00:13:06,870 --> 00:13:10,332 I'm so sorry. I am one of those moms. 288 00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:12,376 I like it too much when you win. 289 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:15,045 I really love lording it over the other moms. 290 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:18,882 Well, in our house, I'm kind of your only source for that. 291 00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,426 You're telling me. 292 00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,720 Haley e-mails me pictures of her nails. 293 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,555 And Luke asked me if he's part owl. 294 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,766 He does get his head pretty far around. 295 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:30,185 Alex, I'm so sorry. 296 00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:33,397 It's okay. Maybe you do put pressure on me, 297 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,524 but it's nothing compared to what I put on myself. 298 00:13:35,607 --> 00:13:39,444 I guess I needed somebody to blame for what happened today, and there you were. 299 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,989 You know I'm in awe of you, right? 300 00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:46,159 Come on. I know a back way out of this place. 301 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:49,579 Don't you have to return that? No way. I paid good money for this. 302 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,581 Okay. We're taking it down the waterslide. 303 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:54,334 How can she not be here either? This is hopeless. 304 00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:56,086 Have a little faith. 305 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,423 Did the Jews give up when the Egyptians chased them to the banks of the red sea? 306 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:03,969 How do you know all this stuff? Was I the only one listening to uncle menachem's toast? 307 00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,780 Well, I'm glad it worked out for the ancient Jews, 308 00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:08,181 but at the moment I don't see god doing me any— look! 309 00:14:08,265 --> 00:14:11,184 - I thought he was joking. - I thought that what's what you thought. 310 00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:16,189 Oh, my god! Yes! Yes! 311 00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:19,943 I'm not gonna embarrass you, but you got one minute to get out of here. 312 00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:22,446 You too. 313 00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:28,827 It's for the best. All this sneaking around was kind of weighing on me. 314 00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:31,079 Let's just grab our gift bags and go. No. 315 00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,290 I still have 50 seconds. 316 00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:36,626 Excuse me. 317 00:14:38,295 --> 00:14:39,921 My name is Manny delgado, 318 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:42,775 and I've been searching for you since you smiled at me inthelobbytoday. 319 00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:44,301 Maybe even my whole life. 320 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,904 It's too late for us to have the magical night I was hoping for, 321 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,848 but it's not too late for us to have a memento of what might have been. 322 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:51,808 I'll be waiting. 323 00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:06,782 Okay, Mitch... 324 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:08,366 Too late. Not interested. 325 00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:11,161 Now listen. 326 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,139 Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna go out the back. 327 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:15,123 Doors, sunroof— all on lockdown. 328 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,420 Okay, look. That guy you met today, he is a shrink. 329 00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:22,130 But I don't see him all the time. 330 00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:25,008 You mom and I saw him a little before the divorce. 331 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:29,096 But every now and then, something comes up for me and I go in for a tune-up. 332 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,765 If you're waiting for me to ask what's going on with you, 333 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:34,935 you just better keep waiting, 'cause I learned my lesson. 334 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:38,188 I'm down about something— Something I knew was coming, 335 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,024 and now it's finally happening. 336 00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:44,569 We're turning my office into the nursery today. 337 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:50,075 You've been moping around like you lost your platoon over a room? 338 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,660 Not just a room. 339 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:54,305 It's the only place in this house where I can still close the door... 340 00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:55,956 And read a book or have a drink. 341 00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,874 Everything in there was mine. 342 00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,460 Ah, who cares? Everybody's got their problems. 343 00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:03,213 No. 344 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,883 See, I can still open my door. You just locked yourself backin. 345 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:13,056 Look, dad, I— I had to give up my home office for Lily's bedroom, 346 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,766 and I was upset about it too. 347 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,978 I wasn't hugging bunnies, but— all right. 348 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:22,691 I— I realize that it wasn't about an office or a room. 349 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,485 It was about how Lily was gonna change everything. 350 00:16:25,569 --> 00:16:28,405 But once we got her in there... 351 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,740 I don't know. I-I just— I never looked back. 352 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,137 Yeah, I guess I'm just nervous about everything, you know. 353 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,871 Yeah. 354 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,039 Thanks, kid. 355 00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:42,502 You know, I'm just recalling me grumbling about giving up my mg roadster... 356 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,171 When you and Claire came along. 357 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,756 Great car. No backseat. 358 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,009 Isn't it funny? The stupid things that we think... 359 00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:52,762 She was my baby. Are so important. 360 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,473 I guess all told, we had about 50 chickens. 361 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:57,559 Maybe 115 head of hogs. 362 00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:59,936 Let's see, 55 cattle. Oh, you know what'll be fun? 363 00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:02,606 Let's see if I can remember all their names. There was... 364 00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:05,400 3 Albert, Lisa, Steph and Mike 3; 365 00:17:05,483 --> 00:17:06,985 Gloria! No, Gloria! 366 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,361 Gloria. 367 00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,948 No. I do not want to hear one more story. 368 00:17:12,073 --> 00:17:14,492 I am going to take a nap now. Okay, yeah, sure. 369 00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:16,536 Whatever you want. This day's about you. 370 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,788 Just one more thing— No, no one more thing! 371 00:17:18,914 --> 00:17:21,267 I just wanted to take a picture, you know, to commemorate our special day. 372 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:23,043 Okay, fine! Take the picture! 373 00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:24,836 No, not here. The lighting's terrible. 374 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,048 I was thinking we could take it in your new nursery! 375 00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:33,386 No, cam. No. 376 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,889 But, Gloria, come— Somebody has to tell you this. 377 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:38,225 No. You try to control everything. 378 00:17:38,308 --> 00:17:40,060 You take over people's life! 379 00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:44,522 It's always too much with you! Maybe we should talk about this out in the hallway. 380 00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:47,067 Why, because there's gonna be better lighting over there? 381 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:50,528 You're doing it again, cam. You're doing it again! 382 00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:54,824 You're right. I am too much. I do control. I do barge. 383 00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:57,577 I'll have my friend abelard come back and paint over it. 384 00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:59,996 So this is why you kept me outside all day? 385 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,833 So that your friend averar could come and paint a present? 386 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,795 Rather than getting you a gift off your registry like a normal person. 387 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,880 I'm so stupid. I love it! 388 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,883 You do? It's just like you... 389 00:18:11,967 --> 00:18:15,136 Full of color and life andlove. 390 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,973 Mmm. Oh, I really did think you'd love it. 391 00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:21,309 What's going on up here? What the... 392 00:18:21,393 --> 00:18:23,436 Okay, that was not my idea. I told cam... 393 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,790 I told him that's a lot to put on someone's wall. Hold on. 394 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:27,440 I like it. 395 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,859 Really? Oh. Thanks, cam. 396 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:33,321 You actually— makes it easier to give up the room. 397 00:18:33,405 --> 00:18:35,508 The ruling on the field is gonna stand 398 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:39,452 we know they saw the same thing upstairs we see here. Not gonna get a better angle than that. 399 00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:41,830 Wow, that's close. 400 00:18:41,913 --> 00:18:43,790 Guy was an inch outofbounds. 401 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:48,086 Oh. 402 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:50,088 Time-out. 403 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:53,258 You know what? 404 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,927 I'm not gonna be able to relax until I get this out of the way. 405 00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:00,890 Dishwasher. 406 00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:04,269 Pretty cool, huh? 407 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:08,606 Yeah, it is. Um, hey, do you think... 408 00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:10,942 You mind if I freshen this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Allow me. 409 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,571 Wow. Your hand's shaking. 410 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,490 Remember, Dave, it's just a game. 411 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:25,373 Oh! Oh! Oh, god! Oh, my god! 412 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,334 Gosh. Oh, come here. 413 00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,169 It's all right. I'm— I'm just a little wet. 414 00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:31,129 No, you're drenched. You can't sit in that. 415 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,772 You know what? Take that off. I'll throw 'em both in the dryer... 416 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,717 And get us a couple of clean ones. 417 00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,010 Yeah. Okay. 418 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,813 Well, I guess this is something we're doing. 419 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:41,264 Interception. 420 00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:42,807 Interception! Oh! 421 00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,100 Come on, buddy! Come on! 422 00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:45,226 Come on, buddy! Come on! 423 00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,228 Come on! Come on, buddy! Touchdown! 424 00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,314 Yeah! 425 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:50,815 How exciting is this? 426 00:19:50,940 --> 00:19:53,526 Oh, it's been so long. 427 00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:57,113 What's happening? Oh, nothing. My car keys. 428 00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,366 Shoot. The TV went off. Oh. 429 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:01,368 Must have screwed something up. 430 00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:03,763 You know what? It doesn't matter. There's another one upstairs. 431 00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:06,748 How about we head up to the bedroom for some halftime festivities? 432 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,584 Oh. Oh, okay. 433 00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:12,212 Let's do this. 434 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:17,133 I'd forgotten how much fun this can be. 435 00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:18,885 We should make this a regular thing. 436 00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,887 Phil. Phil, wait. 437 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:22,931 I think I'd better just head home. 438 00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:26,393 - What? - I'm just coming out of a long-term relationship, 439 00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,686 and I guess I'm still pretty fragile. 440 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,981 It's not that I haven't had a great time. 441 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,943 No, no. I get it. I've spent a few nights in heartbreak hotel. 442 00:20:35,026 --> 00:20:36,903 If there's anything I can do... 443 00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:40,323 You've already done more than you know. 444 00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,546 Huh. 445 00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:00,677 Ohhh. 446 00:21:04,848 --> 00:21:07,767 .U 447 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,285 Get away from me. Uh!