1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:05,089 We're going to Santa Barbara to pick up the bassinet. 2 00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:07,967 Or we can save five hours and go around the corner to baby town. 3 00:00:08,092 --> 00:00:09,927 What are you doing all day? 4 00:00:10,011 --> 00:00:12,889 - It's fine, morn. - No, it's not fine. Today's Manny's birthday. 5 00:00:12,972 --> 00:00:14,515 Aw, geez. I'm sorry, kid. 6 00:00:14,599 --> 00:00:17,602 Don't worry. Reuben's family's taking me for a birthday lunch. 7 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:20,104 You see? Even the Reubens remembered. 8 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:24,108 We'll be back at 6:00, and we're taking you to a special birthday dinner, okay? 9 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:25,526 We are? 10 00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:27,028 I'm sorry, kid. 11 00:00:27,111 --> 00:00:29,238 I wasn't sorry. It was a setup. 12 00:00:29,322 --> 00:00:32,074 We're throwing him a big surprise birthday party. 13 00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:34,952 And he totally fell for it, the little jerk. 14 00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:37,705 I mean, that's the whole point of a surprise party. 15 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:39,308 You take someone who you really love... 16 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,042 And you play him like a fool. 17 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:43,461 That's not the whole point of all this. 18 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,546 Manny has been feeling a little bit neglected, 19 00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:48,507 and I wanted to give him the most special day. 20 00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:51,886 This is the last birthday that it's only going to be the three of us. 21 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,721 I can't wait to see the little dope's face. 22 00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:56,974 And then that smug Carol chu was all, 23 00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:59,077 “you can't dig without an environment impact study.” 24 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,872 And then I was like, “bam!” and I slapped the study onto Charlie's desk, 25 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,397 and Carol was like, “but— but— but”... 26 00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:05,399 And then I was like, “chew on that!” 27 00:01:05,483 --> 00:01:07,163 - You said that? - Well, not with my mouth. 28 00:01:07,193 --> 00:01:09,570 With my eyes and my swivel. 29 00:01:09,654 --> 00:01:11,697 So how was your day at work? 30 00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:13,449 Oh, you know, fine. 31 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,910 Okay. Yeah? 32 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:19,580 I'm an idiot. I know cam's been struggling since he went back to teaching. 33 00:01:19,664 --> 00:01:22,708 The students, the faculty— None of it's clicking. 34 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:27,296 The last thing he needed was me going on about my latest work triumph. 35 00:01:27,380 --> 00:01:29,257 And then it got worse. 36 00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:32,051 Come on, daddy. It's time for our wedding. 37 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,679 - What's happening? - Oh, Lily and I are gettin' married. 38 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:36,430 Uh, what's happening? 39 00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:38,492 When she proposed, I thought it was a little weird, 40 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,956 but then I read it's a phase that some girls go through, so... 41 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,187 Oh, no. Well, I just think it's the cutest thing ever. 42 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,564 Here, dad. I made you this ring. 43 00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:47,191 Oh. 44 00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:50,069 Cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute! 45 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,612 Do you have a ring for me? 46 00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:53,990 Well, Lily, it wouldn't be a wedding without a ring. 47 00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:57,535 Yay. Loving this! 48 00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:00,621 Daddy, move. Okay. I guess I'll just go sit on the groom's side. 49 00:02:00,705 --> 00:02:02,581 Oh, come on, cam. It's fun. 50 00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:05,376 Oh, it's fun. It's— it's super fun! 51 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,503 You finally got married! Hooray! 52 00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:10,214 - Ow! - Oh, are you okay, sweetie? 53 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:13,009 What do you think? 54 00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,304 Y hey, heyy 55 00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:18,431 y hey, heyy 56 00:02:18,514 --> 00:02:20,433 y hey, heyy 57 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,476 y hey, heyy 58 00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:23,602 j hey jv 59 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,316 this is very rare indeed. 60 00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:31,777 Geekus nerdzo/'ih/'cus in its natural habitat... 61 00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,779 Alone as usual. Mine. 62 00:02:33,863 --> 00:02:35,614 Hey, give it back. 63 00:02:35,698 --> 00:02:37,992 Gloria asked me to record Manny's birthday. Mom! 64 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,119 Alex, give it back to your bro... 65 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,620 Oh, sorry. I tried to care. 66 00:02:41,746 --> 00:02:44,123 But this is everything I made at the boutique last week. 67 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:46,518 I'm not gonna have any money left for me. Should've thought of that... 68 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:48,169 Before you got thrown out ofschool 69 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,272 - you live here, you pay rent. - You used to be fun. 70 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,590 You used to be— what? Oh, yeah, at college. 71 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,175 Uh, hang on. Wait. 72 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,886 Gloria says that we are surprising Manny at 6:00 tonight, 73 00:02:56,969 --> 00:03:00,032 but she wants us there at 4:00, which means she's expecting us to do the setup. 74 00:03:00,056 --> 00:03:01,849 - I say we leave here around 5:00. - Great. 75 00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,728 That's Kenny from work. Oh, ru get it. 76 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:08,582 We're going to a street fair, so we'll just meet you guys at the party. 77 00:03:08,606 --> 00:03:11,275 Oh. You've been spending a lot of time with this Kenny from work. 78 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,295 - Stop it right now. - Is it gettin' romantic? 79 00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:15,196 Yeah... 80 00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,531 - Well— - Yeah... 81 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:19,075 Oh! 82 00:03:19,158 --> 00:03:21,702 Mom, this is Kenny. And dad you already met. 83 00:03:21,786 --> 00:03:24,538 Uh, yeah. First of all, Kenny, sick ponytail. 84 00:03:24,622 --> 00:03:27,958 - Uh. Thanks, man. - Kenny designs jeans for our boutique. 85 00:03:28,084 --> 00:03:30,062 Uh-huh. That reminds me, I got something for you. 86 00:03:30,086 --> 00:03:32,671 - What are you, a 32, 34? - What are you, 36, 38? 87 00:03:32,797 --> 00:03:34,924 What are you, in my mind? Put 'em on your body. 88 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,468 Will do. Will do. Phil, honey— uh... 89 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,804 Kenny is kind of a big deal. 90 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,948 - Mm-hmm. - What does that fashion web site call you again? 91 00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,974 A “jeanius.” spelled like “jeans.” 92 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,434 Mortifying. Oh. 93 00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,686 And a “rack star.” oh. 94 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,230 And what was the headline again? 95 00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:50,606 Oh, yeah. “He's denimite.” 96 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:53,359 What an embarrassing week you've been having. Ooh, yeah. 97 00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,736 I'm just trying to stay fresh creatively, you know? 98 00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:57,446 Made my bones in men's apparel, 99 00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:59,573 and now I'm working with these local boutiques... 100 00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,117 Just trying to get into girls' jeans. 101 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,202 - Phil! - There's no Phil here. 102 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:06,831 These jeans just slipped on me so perfectly, my name must be pantsarella. 103 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,749 Boom! Comfortable, right? 104 00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:10,292 Like a diaper. 105 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,919 Well, we should get going. Oh, yeah? 106 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,213 Um, but you wanted to say... Something. 107 00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,132 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Yes. Okay. 108 00:04:16,215 --> 00:04:18,634 Uh, listen. 109 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:21,637 You made it seem like you had jeans for both of us, 110 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,056 and Claire hasn't gotten hers yet, so... 111 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,183 I am so sorry. Don't worry about it. 112 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,894 Here you go. 113 00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,521 Enjoy. Kenny, you're amazing. 114 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:31,957 No, man, you're amazing. Have fun. 115 00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:36,193 I love him. 116 00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:37,778 Phil! You think he liked me? 117 00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:41,115 Phil! That is a date. They're going on a date. 118 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,617 What? He's practically my age. Okay. Uh, yeah. Right, right. 119 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:45,512 And what middle-aged guy would be interested... 120 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:48,122 In a young, attractive, newly legal woman? 121 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,665 Oh, that's right. All of them. 122 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,041 That's not true. I wouldn't. 123 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,502 Really? Hermione Granger? 124 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,963 What? Mm-hmm. 125 00:04:56,046 --> 00:04:58,132 Finflmtahwmyfbwamm yeah. 126 00:04:58,215 --> 00:05:00,718 Has she blossomed into a lovely young lady? Yes, but... 127 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,803 Luke, I'm never telling you anything! 128 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,474 Oh, my god, Jay! Look how beautiful. 129 00:05:06,557 --> 00:05:08,157 Look at this. But the bookstore is empty. 130 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:10,478 That's why China's kicking our ass. 131 00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:13,439 - Thirty-three! - Ay, no. Fifty-nine. 132 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,542 We're so late, and we still have to pick up the drinks. 133 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:17,127 Excuse me. I'm terribly sorry. Excuse me. 134 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,652 Sir? This is my cake right here. 135 00:05:18,736 --> 00:05:20,571 How about I just leave money, I take it? 136 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:24,283 - If I did that for you, I'd have to do it for everyone. - Not if you just did it for me. 137 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,076 Thirty-three! Excuse me. 138 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:30,206 Excuse me. Hmm. We're in a hurry. We have a birthday party. 139 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:33,125 Why didn't you say something? We don't see many of those around here. 140 00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:35,377 You think you can intimidate me with that attitude? 141 00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:37,963 - What do I look like to you? - Thirty-four! 142 00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:41,342 Thank you. But the point is that my son is waiting... 143 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:43,904 Gloria, it's not worth it. We don't need these people. Jay, we need... 144 00:05:43,928 --> 00:05:45,513 Come on. We'll get a better cake. 145 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,056 Are you crazy? How are we gonna... 146 00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:50,059 I've got it covered. Excuse me, miss? 147 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:51,685 I'm sorry I raised my voice in there, 148 00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:53,038 especially in front of the baby. 149 00:05:53,062 --> 00:05:54,522 I know how delicate they can be. 150 00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:56,357 Oh, you're so nice to say that. 151 00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,210 But, you know, they're sturdier thanyoutmnk. Yeah. 152 00:05:58,234 --> 00:06:01,195 - In fact, every day I learn these little— - yeah, take care now. 153 00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:05,824 Hey, honey. 154 00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:07,743 Daddy, what's in the bag? 155 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,036 Oh, it's a present for Manny. 156 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,014 And I also got your other daddy a little something... 157 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:12,540 'Cause he's been feeling down today. 158 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,893 - How's your eye, sweetie? - Oh, it's fine. It's just a scratch. 159 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:18,295 Let's go this way, honey. Oh, cam, are you wearing a suit to Manny's birth... 160 00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:19,588 Oh, wow. 161 00:06:19,672 --> 00:06:21,525 Okay. Let's get your hospital band off. 162 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,884 I like it. Okay, that can be your “something blue” then. 163 00:06:23,968 --> 00:06:25,553 - Cam? - Yy 164 00:06:25,678 --> 00:06:28,055 - Daddy, I wanna drive my car. - A car? Oh. A car. 165 00:06:28,138 --> 00:06:30,391 Just a second, sweetie. Okay. 166 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:32,410 Does anyone know a reason why these two shouldn't be wed? 167 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:35,479 - She is my wife. - Okay, so by the power vested in me... 168 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,648 - By the state of candy land— - And Utah. 169 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,567 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 170 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,986 Daddy, I wanna play with my car right now. 171 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:43,571 Okay. Of course. Yes, sweetie. 172 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:46,240 But remember, we have to walk down the receiving line. 173 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,701 Oh. Oh, what a turnout. 174 00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:51,996 There she goes. 175 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:55,249 You got her a car? I can't help it that you skimped on your wedding. 176 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:57,143 Okay, look, I know what's underneath all this, all right? 177 00:06:57,167 --> 00:07:00,170 Right now, in your life, you're feeling, you know, very... 178 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:03,716 No. Please do not turn me marrying my daughter into something ugly. 179 00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:05,342 Lily is having the time of her... 180 00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:08,762 Ow! 181 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,973 - Cam! - Oh, please. Do not blame me. 182 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:12,993 We always knew there was a strong possibility... 183 00:07:13,017 --> 00:07:14,518 She'd be a terrible driver. 184 00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:20,774 I know we're running late, Claire. We'll be there soon. 185 00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:23,402 Just start setting up. What do you mean, “surprise, surprise”? 186 00:07:23,527 --> 00:07:26,238 Ay hang on. I've gotta go. You take care. 187 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,383 What's the matter? Jay, I can't find the parking ticket! 188 00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:30,618 Calm down. Everything's gonna be fine. [ Sighs 1 189 00:07:30,743 --> 00:07:32,596 good. It's a male attendant. What does that mean? 190 00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,456 How would you get out of this situation if I wasn't here? 191 00:07:35,539 --> 00:07:38,125 - Mmm! - Hey, pal, my housekeeper forgot her ticket. 192 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:41,795 You're going to need to back up, go up to the third level and find the pay station. 193 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:44,715 Ay, you can't just let us go? 194 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:48,093 I know I put it somewhere here, but I cannot find it now. 195 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:50,220 Pay station, third level. 196 00:07:50,304 --> 00:07:52,139 Maybe you can let us go now, 197 00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,516 and then next time I do you two times? 198 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,287 The only way you're going to get out is to go back to the pay station. 199 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,229 Actually, there is another way. 200 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,400 - Ah! - You okay? 201 00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:05,986 Let's drive through something else! 202 00:08:06,070 --> 00:08:09,198 The gala celebration is only minutes away. 203 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:12,326 Delectable refreshments, excited classmates. 204 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:15,496 And what's this? The most beautiful sight of all. 205 00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:18,165 Go away! 206 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:20,292 He's old. She's young. It's gross. 207 00:08:20,376 --> 00:08:24,171 Honey, nothing's happening. Young people seek out older mentors all the time. 208 00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:27,257 When I was 17, I was really close with my friend Stacy's mom. 209 00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:29,301 Mrs. Robinson was a former cheerleader, 210 00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:31,595 so she knewjust how to massage my legs after practice. 211 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,741 She had her own homemade bengay that didn't burn no matter where she rubbed it on me. 212 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:37,160 If I had the chance to go over there, I never missed an opportunity. 213 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,019 I think maybe you did. 214 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:41,188 Oh, I forgot the present in the car. 215 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,816 Oh. All right. I'm gonna go take a squirt while you grab it. 216 00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:46,944 I know! Just... 217 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,237 It's crazy! 218 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,446 Mmm. Mmm. 219 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:54,993 I'm gonna fight him. Phil. 220 00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:57,663 No, Claire, I'm gonna fight him up real nice. 221 00:08:57,788 --> 00:09:00,082 How about you start with a threat? 222 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:03,061 Oh, hey, Claire. Um, could you help me with this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 223 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:04,503 You gotta go around the other side. 224 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:06,564 I need to keep my eyes on Phil. Ooh, what's happening? 225 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,608 He's about to drop the hammer on Haley's new boyfriend. 226 00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:10,634 He's twice her age, and it's disgusting. 227 00:09:10,759 --> 00:09:13,762 Reminds me of a certain manager at the cheesecake factory that you dated. 228 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:17,015 Oh, Todd. He had a Camaro... and power. 229 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:19,977 Ugh! He was nasty. You just did it to get a rise out of dad. 230 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,621 Yeah, well, look how well that worked out. 231 00:09:21,645 --> 00:09:23,998 It didn't bother dad at all, and then I was stuck with a guy... 232 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,959 Who smelled like potato skins and said “supposably.” 233 00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,360 You have to admit, dad played that pretty brilliantly. 234 00:09:28,444 --> 00:09:31,488 After a few weeks, you got bored with him and then you dumped him. 235 00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:35,451 Mm-hmm. I did. I dumped him up real nice. 236 00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:37,035 Phil. Claire— oh, come on. 237 00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,746 Phil, you can't say anything to Kenny. 238 00:09:38,829 --> 00:09:39,830 What? 239 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,415 I know why Haley is doing this. 240 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,001 She's doing it to get back at you for being so hard on her. 241 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,920 I did the same thing to my dad. First of all, I'm not your dad. 242 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:49,548 And do you think I'm just gonna let this happen? Trust me. 243 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:52,009 The more it bothers you, the longer he stays. 244 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,094 The more we ignore it... 245 00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:56,138 Hey. Up top, dad. 246 00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,517 Yeah! Nailed it. 247 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,812 The sooner Willie Nelson's on the road again. 248 00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:05,522 I'm so conflicted. 249 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,526 What you're saying makes sense up here, but it's not what I wanna do here. 250 00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:11,779 And I just feel so damn comfortable down here. 251 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,906 I forgot to tell you, I put that in the trunk. 252 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:16,158 Oh, I know. I had to reach under your jeans. Uh... 253 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,179 I can't believe that! It's so crazy! 254 00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:21,455 It's adorable. Mmm. Mmm. 255 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:23,373 Wanna see outside? 256 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,334 Yeah. 257 00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:28,629 - Sweetie, I brought you a cookie. - Mmm. 258 00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:31,757 I ate at the emergency room. 259 00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:34,527 You worked that in seamlessly. Oh, come on. It was— it was an accident. 260 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,362 Stop beating yourself up. Hey, let's go mingle. 261 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,906 No. You know what? Some of my students are here, and I'm just... 262 00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:40,557 I'm not in the mood. All right. 263 00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:42,827 Cam, we're gonna talk about this. I know what's going on. 264 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,579 You're obviously going through something at school. 265 00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:47,481 You're struggling, and I have just made things worse... 266 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:50,067 By bragging about what a hero I've been at work recently. 267 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,152 And it's— it's not a competition. 268 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:54,238 You know, my victories are your victories. 269 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,602 - Your defeats are my defeats. - Hey, Mr. Tucker! 270 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,158 N 271 00:10:58,242 --> 00:11:00,953 J' bow across a cello string j' 272 00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:03,455 j' piano keys a-hammerin' j' 273 00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:07,543 j' voices raised in Harmony j' 274 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:11,463 j' for our dear old Cameron j'j' 275 00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,465 we love you! We love you! You're the best! 276 00:11:13,549 --> 00:11:15,175 Yeah. 277 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:16,760 Yeah, it's been a nightmare. 278 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,471 And thank you for assuming I'm terrible at my job. 279 00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,225 No! Um... 280 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,422 Hey, everybody. Sorry we're late. 281 00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,187 We got caught doing a bunch of stuff. 282 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:28,939 Or not doing a bunch of stuff. 283 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:32,609 Okay. Manny is going to be here soon, so let's go over the plan. 284 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,945 When we hear him coming, we turn off the light. 285 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,197 Then when he comes in and turns it on, 286 00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:39,867 we all scream, “surprise!” 287 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:41,618 You got a pen? I wanna write this down. 288 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:45,038 He's coming up the driveway. He's here early. Hurry up! 289 00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:49,418 Hurry! Hurry! Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 290 00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:52,379 Quick. I don't want the neighbors to see us. 291 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,840 - You sure we're alone? - Yeah. They're not home till 6:00. 292 00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,676 Good. Because I want to give you your birthday present. 293 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,974 Actually, I'd like to see your face. 294 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:06,768 It's harsh, I know. 295 00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:08,353 I've begged them to put in a dimmer. 296 00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:10,564 No. 297 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,442 Surprise. 298 00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:15,861 Manny, we're so sorry. We didn't mean to... 299 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:18,113 What? Ruin the greatest moment of my life? 300 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,532 - Thanks again, mom! _ [ay/ 301 00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:23,243 and the surprised becomes the surpriser. 302 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:26,038 This party had everything. 303 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:27,623 Manny? 304 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,419 Manny, please come out. 305 00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:35,505 Unless you're here to cut a food slot on my door, you can leave now. 306 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:38,133 Nobody's going to make fun of you. 307 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,218 Kids make fun of you if you get a haircut. 308 00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,638 I just gave them a full-blown sex scandal. 309 00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:45,974 No. Everybody's so excited to celebrate with you. 310 00:12:46,058 --> 00:12:48,518 Ay, no. 311 00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:51,438 The baby was ready, but I was not. 312 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:54,983 It was bad enough that Manny had to share his mother. 313 00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:57,986 I couldn't let him share a birthday too. 314 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,781 You stay in there! Lthoughtyou wanted me to come out. 315 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:02,532 I do! I do! Come out. 316 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,494 We stole you a beautiful birthday— Cake. 317 00:13:05,577 --> 00:13:07,621 Gloria, tag out. Let me give it a shot. 318 00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:10,707 Yes, you fix it. 319 00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:13,377 Look, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this, kid. That was rough. 320 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:16,588 Go away. But there's an upside. 321 00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:19,841 The best thing about kissing a girl is you get to tell your friends. 322 00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,969 The problem is, they never believe you. 323 00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,512 But you had witnesses. 324 00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:26,682 We're gonna be talking about this one for years to come. 325 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:28,266 You've said it, Kenny. 326 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,103 Manny seems to me like a— Like a real old soul. 327 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:33,313 Kenny is amazing at telling the age of a soul. 328 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,190 Aw. Thanks, babe. Oh. 329 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:39,611 Age is nothin' but a state of mind, you know? Yeah. 330 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:42,406 I'm probably more of a 14-year-old than he is, and— mm-hmm. 331 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,449 Believe me, I know 14-year-olds. 332 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:46,576 He has a 14-year-old daughter. Oh, yeah. 333 00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:49,705 Oh, cool! Oh, honey, you don't have to do that. They have a gardener. 334 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,000 Trust me on this. 335 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:57,462 I want to, but you're just so wrong about so many things. 336 00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,297 - Just keep practicing. - Okay. 337 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:02,509 Hey, cam, i-I'm so sorry that I insulted you earlier. 338 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:06,471 I thought that there was something going on at work, and obviously I was wrong. 339 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,433 Well, you're wrong again. It is about work. This is a fun game. 340 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,810 I didn't bring it up before because I was embarrassed. 341 00:14:11,893 --> 00:14:15,439 But yesterday was the best day I've had at work yet. 342 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:17,858 I clicked with the students, the teachers. 343 00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:20,444 I finally felt like I belonged. Oh, I get it. 344 00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:23,739 You couldn't possibly get it. I'm in the middle of my story. I'm sorry. 345 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:27,576 Every day at 2:30 I call Lily, and we dunk a cookie together. 346 00:14:27,659 --> 00:14:30,328 And yesterday... I forgot. 347 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,081 Forgot my own daughter. 348 00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:35,709 And obviously she resents me for it. 349 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:38,295 It's why she asked you to marry her, to get back at me. 350 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,923 Okay. Here I-I need to point out that she's five and not a character from dynasty 351 00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:45,510 and as much as I try to connect with her, I just keep making it worse. 352 00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:47,471 Maybe you're just trying too hard. 353 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,223 Everybody, come in! Manny's coming— Down. 354 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:52,809 Somebody pick up that towel before someone trips. 355 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,648 Daddy! Okay! Daddy's coming! What's wrong with me? 356 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,861 Okay, everybody. 357 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:07,240 So, we sing, then presents, then cake. That's a Colombian tradition. 358 00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:10,452 And we do not speak of what happened before. 359 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:12,037 Nobody saw anything. 360 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,580 That's another Colombian tradition. 361 00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:16,500 Here he is, the man of the hour! 362 00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:18,877 J' happy j' 363 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,462 Gloria, you okay? 364 00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,172 No, I'm fine. I'm fine. 365 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,966 Ha— aaah! Aaah! 366 00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:26,676 No way! She peed! 367 00:15:26,802 --> 00:15:28,845 Her water broke. 368 00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,431 So far, 14's not my favorite age. 369 00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:33,975 No, it's nothing. Keep singing. Keep singing. 370 00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:35,977 Ha— jay/ stop it! 371 00:15:36,061 --> 00:15:38,605 We're gonna pop on over to the hospital. Pizza's on the way. 372 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,690 You think about it, run a mop over this area. 373 00:15:40,774 --> 00:15:42,776 Ay, Manny! I'm so sorry, okay? 374 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:46,113 And the birthday video becomes a nature film. 375 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:48,657 Luke! Come on. 376 00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,868 Oh, my gosh! It's happening! 377 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:58,041 Ay, Manny, I am so sorry about today. 378 00:15:58,125 --> 00:16:00,252 I just wanted you to have a happy birthday. 379 00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:02,504 And speaking of birth— Days... 380 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:06,216 Don't listen to him. I'm not letting this baby out before midnight. 381 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:10,345 This is your day. I'm not gonna let you share it every year, okay? 382 00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,013 Mom, look. 383 00:16:12,097 --> 00:16:14,599 Yeah, I've felt a little neglected lately. 384 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:16,852 But I've had you to myself for 14 years. 385 00:16:16,935 --> 00:16:18,937 That makes me a little sad. 386 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,690 Oh, please. If we had actually forgotten his birthday, 387 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,151 he'd be out right now kissing a cute brunette. 388 00:16:24,234 --> 00:16:26,027 Things work out. 389 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,656 You know that I love you no matter what? 390 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,868 You're trying to hold another person inside of you to spare my feelings. 391 00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,120 Message received. 392 00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:36,705 Mmm. Ooh, that's a strong grip. 393 00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,290 Ah, that's— that's— That's— ooh! Ow. 394 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,545 Uh, she's gettin' close. 395 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:46,464 She's at, like, eight beautiful centimeters. 396 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:50,677 Hey. I don't think we've met. I'm Kenny. 397 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,388 Hi. I'm disgusted. 398 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:56,725 Mitchell, she won't even look at me. 399 00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,644 Well, she can't really look at anyone. I know. 400 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:02,981 Oh! Look who's back... again. 401 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:06,193 - What happened this time? - He threw me in the pool. 402 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,129 Oh, no. No, that's not what happened. 403 00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:09,696 It kind of is. 404 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,841 Luke, come on. We don't need to relive it. 405 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,534 Daddy/ oh, look at this. 406 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,304 I'm coming! Dao'o'y's coming! What's wrong with me? Mitchell. 407 00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:19,247 When she fell in the pool, she screamed for daddy. 408 00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:21,708 She calls you “dad.” she calls me “daddy.” 409 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:24,544 - She got scared, and she called out for me. - See? 410 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:26,588 I guess daddy was worrying about nothing. 411 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:29,049 But, you know, I can be silly sometimes. 412 00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:30,800 You're always silly. 413 00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:33,803 No, you're silly. No, you're always silly. 414 00:17:33,929 --> 00:17:35,513 No, you're always silly. [Thud 1 415 00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:37,015 my god. What's wrong with me? 416 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,226 The contractions are coming a little bit closer. 417 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:41,686 I think we have to cflfhranume. No, no, no, Jay! 418 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,730 No, please— I'm sorry. For what? 419 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:47,901 I don't know yet. But I know that babies make mothers crazy, 420 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:49,694 and I'm going to be making mistakes, 421 00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:51,529 and then I'm going to be blaming you. 422 00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:54,574 Please don't leave me. You're a little emotional right now. 423 00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:57,410 But it's been so long for me... 424 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,788 And a hundred years for you. 425 00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,915 Are we still going to be good at this? 426 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:04,668 It's gonna be an adventure, but that's what you and I do best. 427 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,253 Look at today. 428 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:08,755 I can't ever remember having more fun with you. 429 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,091 I'm so lucky. 430 00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:13,760 [Crying I now get out. 431 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,762 - But I thought you wanted me to— - no, not you. 432 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:19,015 Get out! 433 00:18:23,812 --> 00:18:25,814 Hey. We should go. Oh, right. 434 00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,440 Um, hey, guys. 435 00:18:27,524 --> 00:18:29,877 So Kenny and I were thinking about going to this restaurant. 436 00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:32,529 Oh, sure. I don't have a problem with that. Do you, Phil? 437 00:18:32,654 --> 00:18:35,490 No. In fact, it has been such a pleasure... 438 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,075 Getting to know Kenny, it's our treat. 439 00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:39,160 - Are you kidding? - No! 440 00:18:39,244 --> 00:18:40,829 Give 'em your credit card, Phil. 441 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:45,709 Also, uh, this restaurant is pretty far away, so we might be out late. 442 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:48,461 Well, sweetheart, you are only young once. 443 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:51,214 Well, might even make sense to just stay in a hotel. 444 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,882 Okay. Put it on the plastic. 445 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,110 Great! 446 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,720 Okay. See you tomorrow! 447 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,930 Bye-bye. 448 00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:02,392 Ugh. It's my ex-wife— not the good one. 449 00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,185 What do you want? 450 00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:06,604 Nice game of chicken, Claire. She's gone! 451 00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,356 She's coming back. I am almost positive. 452 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,566 Almost? Mm-hmm! 453 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,151 Why do I listen to you? Why? 454 00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,962 You were wrong about the iPod being a failure. 455 00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:14,946 You were wrong about tomato being a vegetable. 456 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:17,800 I don't even want to talk about your favorite planet— pluto! 457 00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:22,078 And unless she was lying to the good ladies of the view, it's “de-mi,” not “dem-i”! 458 00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:27,083 You were going to let me go with him? 459 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:28,835 Isn't that what you wanted, honey? 460 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,420 What's the matter with you? 461 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:33,131 You've been acting so weird ever since I left college. 462 00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:36,551 For the record, you didn't leave college. You were asked to leave. 463 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,179 Oh, which you guys never let me forget, especially dad. 464 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,847 Honey, your father... 465 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,058 Oh, you don't have to tell me what he thinks, okay? 466 00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,810 I'm a huge disappointment to him. I see it on his face every day. 467 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:48,122 He acts as if he doesn't even want me around. 468 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,898 - Give me the ticket for the car. - Phil... 469 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:53,252 I'm going after her! This chicken game may work for your dad, but it doesn't for me. 470 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,028 That's my little girl. I need her to know... 471 00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,072 That no guy on earth is good enough for her, 472 00:19:57,155 --> 00:19:59,366 let alone some slimy, middle-aged jeans salesman! 473 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,121 - What's this? - Just enjoy it. 474 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,376 There's all kinds of milestones in life, 475 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:11,294 the kind you expect to live through... 476 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,838 First kiss, 477 00:20:13,922 --> 00:20:15,799 b/'n'ho'ays, 478 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,718 gradual/ans. 479 00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:20,970 If you're lucky, a wedding or two. 480 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,308 Or even a new addition to the family. 481 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:32,440 Then there's the kind you never dreamed you'd get to live through again. 482 00:20:32,524 --> 00:20:34,234 So adorable. 483 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:35,819 So sweet. 484 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,571 - Oh, my goodness. - Oh. 485 00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,748 And that's the best kind of all. 486 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,127 Why am I spoiling it for you? 487 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,045 You'll see for yourself. 488 00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:01,177 Oh, was it difficult? Si. 489 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,721 It was the most painful 20 minutes of my life. 490 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:06,057 Mmm. Oh, well, look at that. 491 00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:07,684 You're skinny again. Yeah. 492 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,269 Yeah. 493 00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:10,812 So wait. He— he's my uncle? 494 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,564 No. He's your half brother-in-law. 495 00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,858 He's our uncle. Half uncle or full uncle? 496 00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:17,628 What's a “fuluncle”? Okay. So don't feel like you gotta stick around. 497 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:19,672 Okay. We'll see you tomorrow then. Okay, we'll be back tomorrow. 498 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,072 Bye, uncle. Congrats. 499 00:21:21,156 --> 00:21:23,366 He's adorable. 500 00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,118 Is he? 501 00:21:25,201 --> 00:21:27,704 I don't like this one bit. 502 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,330 We'll talk.