1 00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:04,338 Okay. Hold still, honey. 2 00:00:04,422 --> 00:00:06,591 I'm afraid you're going to hit me again. 3 00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,593 Don't worry. I'm just putting this time. 4 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:12,013 I'm not the strongest golfer, and I think it's holding me back in business. 5 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:14,348 Too bad deals aren't closed in a trampoline park. 6 00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:19,270 I'd just lazy back into a Rudolph, into a quadriffus, right up the corporate ladder. 7 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:23,107 Hey, dad. You coming to my play tonight? 8 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:25,109 Your play? You only painted the sets. 9 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:28,863 Yeah? And Michelangelo only painted the sixteenth chapel. 10 00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:31,365 Maybe don't keep your face so close to the paint cans. 11 00:00:31,449 --> 00:00:34,052 Sorry, buddy. I'm getting a golf lesson, then I'm playing with a client. 12 00:00:34,076 --> 00:00:36,305 - But I'll try to make your next performance. - [ Doorbell rings ] 13 00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:37,830 [ Object thuds ] Phil! 14 00:00:37,914 --> 00:00:39,582 - Little busy. - Oh, you always do this. 15 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:42,001 You cram stuff in the freezer without thinking about it. 16 00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,670 I opened the door, and a frozen Turkey almost fell on my foot. 17 00:00:44,754 --> 00:00:47,256 Keep pulling it to the left. Are we sure the house is level? 18 00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:50,134 Are you not the least bit sorry? I could have broken a toe. 19 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:53,387 Honey, I'm sorry for dozens of things every day that actually happen. 20 00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:55,640 If I start apologizing for things that don't happen, 21 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,934 how productive of a person would I be? 22 00:00:58,017 --> 00:00:59,936 Hey, your golf pro's herel 23 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,230 ho/a, ho/a. Hello, everybody. 24 00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:05,775 Hey. Thanks so much for the quick lesson, Jay. 25 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:09,528 Just think of me as a blob of Clay waiting for your experienced hands... 26 00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:11,364 To caress and coax me... 27 00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:12,949 First rule of golf: Shh! 28 00:01:13,032 --> 00:01:14,325 Okay. 29 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,910 If you're going to be a grump all day, 30 00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:18,055 why did you even say that you were going to teach him? 31 00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:19,789 Because he's how my grandkids get food. 32 00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:21,374 There he is! 33 00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:24,168 Ay, thank you so much for taking care of the baby. 34 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:27,546 Cam has me running all kinds of errands for the play. 35 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,715 Yeah, well, you gotta keep your eye on the caller ID. 36 00:01:29,799 --> 00:01:32,260 I have to go to the dry cleaners to pick up the costumes, 37 00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:35,304 then I have to go get the dry ice for the fog machine. 38 00:01:35,388 --> 00:01:37,390 And maybe I'll go get cam some flowers. 39 00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:39,558 - Oh, Alex can help you with all that. - Oh, perfect. 40 00:01:39,684 --> 00:01:43,521 Okay, let's go. We can't be late, or there won't be any dry ice in the house. 41 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,314 [Laughs] Good one. What? 42 00:01:45,398 --> 00:01:48,484 You guys have fun. Go on. Nothing to worry about. I got it handled here. 43 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,070 [ Lily] Be careful. Don't worry. Just keep your mouth open. 44 00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:55,199 We're fine. It's fine. 45 00:01:55,992 --> 00:01:57,827 Y hey, heyy 46 00:01:57,910 --> 00:01:59,954 y hey, heyy 47 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:02,039 y hey, heyy 48 00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:04,000 y hey, heyy 49 00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:05,293 j hey jv 50 00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:11,299 okay. Can I have everyone's attention, please? 51 00:02:11,382 --> 00:02:13,551 Reuben, hit me with a spot. 52 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,803 That's a little harsh. Throw a pink gel on that. 53 00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:17,763 That's great. Perfect. All right. 54 00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,974 I will be recording today's rehearsal, 55 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,226 but don't let that make you self-conscious. 56 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,353 I'm only using it to pinpoint your mistakes. 57 00:02:24,437 --> 00:02:27,481 Secondly, I have granted full set access... 58 00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:30,526 To Maureen schick, who will be reviewing our show tonight. 59 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:32,278 Uh-oh. She's vicious. 60 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:34,322 Our last music teacher, Mr. Namagachi, 61 00:02:34,405 --> 00:02:36,699 never recovered from her article, “anything blows.” 62 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,784 But in fairness, I saw that production, 63 00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:41,829 and the lead soprano was an absolute disaster. 64 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,832 No offense, Sophie. You've blossomed since then, sweetie. Okay? 65 00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,185 [ Under breath ] But no batteries in her Mike, okay? Great. 66 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:48,895 [ Normal voice ] And lastly, Marcus Talbot... 67 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,838 Guys, he's feeling a little under the weather. 68 00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:53,257 Fear not. He's home, resting his instrument, 69 00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,509 and he will be ready for the show tonight. 70 00:02:55,593 --> 00:02:58,387 But I will need a phantom for this rehearsal, so anyone... 71 00:02:58,471 --> 00:03:00,222 I guess I could help. 72 00:03:00,306 --> 00:03:02,224 I don't know how Marcus ever got the lead. 73 00:03:02,308 --> 00:03:05,186 But I know how he got sick— From chewing all that scenery. 74 00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:08,356 This was my chance to earn it back from that insincere phony. 75 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:11,859 But first, a silent prayer for our fallen captain, Marcus. 76 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,612 Godspeed, old friend. [ Mutters] 77 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,531 This is boring. Is he dead? 78 00:03:17,615 --> 00:03:19,700 No, he's not dead. He's just sleeping. 79 00:03:19,784 --> 00:03:23,579 Babies need to sleep a lot so they grow bigger and stronger and smarter. 80 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,164 Hey, Mrs. D. Hey, Lucy. 81 00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,625 Every time. Mmm. 82 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:31,587 - Well, that's a nice shirt. - Thanks. I designed it myself. It's my best seller. 83 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,298 I'm so jealous you know what you want to do with your life. 84 00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:36,675 I wish I was inspired like you. 85 00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:38,886 Or, you know, aim higher. 86 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:42,098 Open yourself up to some new experiences and find out what... 87 00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,682 Are you okay? 88 00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:46,727 Fine. Just slipped on one of your father's stupid golf balls. 89 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,479 [Crying ] Good. You woke him up. 90 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,106 Maybe he's hungry. I just fed him, 91 00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:52,334 but I don't think bottles can live up to the real thing. 92 00:03:52,358 --> 00:03:53,901 Maybe I can calm him down. 93 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,654 Oh, that's very sweet of you, but he's super fussy today, 94 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,948 and when babies are fussy, they're— th... 95 00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,783 - [ Coos ] - Wow. 96 00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,535 Yeah, I'm good with babies. 97 00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:05,079 You should see him play peekaboo. He's amazing. 98 00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,789 No, I'm good. 99 00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:10,000 I know a guy in Chicago. He's amazing. 100 00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:14,422 Dang it! Are you kiddin' me? 101 00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:16,966 That divot flew out of there like a rocket. 102 00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:19,051 I decided to go gentle with Phil, 103 00:04:19,135 --> 00:04:22,388 which didn't come easy in me because I've always been a bit of a drill sergeant... 104 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:24,098 When it comes to sports. 105 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,851 With the new baby, Gloria's been bugging me to have more Patience. 106 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,644 But come on. He's been alive a month. 107 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,188 How hard is it to support your own head? 108 00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:33,649 [ Horn honking ] What the hell? 109 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,403 - Hello, boys. - What a sweet ride, pepper. 110 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:38,946 What are you guys doing here? 111 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,781 I've been golfing for a few weeks. 112 00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:42,324 Pepper's been teaching me. 113 00:04:42,408 --> 00:04:46,454 I grew up golfing with my father, the great Chaim Saltzman. 114 00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:49,290 Or as he was known around the clubhouse, Chad treadwell. 115 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:51,333 Well, we should play together as a foursome. 116 00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:54,438 - First time that word's creeped me out, but okay. - Care to make it interesting? 117 00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:57,023 Think your pants have already done that. How 'bout a hundred bucks? 118 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,133 - Me and Phil will play you and Mitch. - Funl 119 00:04:59,258 --> 00:05:01,427 Mitchell? Care to go first? Oh, I do... 120 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,471 Oka— yeah, I'll— I'll give it a whirl. 121 00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:06,056 Running into my dad was no accident. 122 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,058 I wasn't the best athlete growing up, 123 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:11,020 and my dad never missed an opportunity to point that out. 124 00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:14,023 “Nice throw, Nancy.” 125 00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,775 Nancy was our neighbor. I could never throw as well as she could. 126 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,695 /'a' pretty much given up on beating my dad at anything... 127 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,822 Until pepper dragged me to a golf course one day. 128 00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:24,742 Turns out I wasn't half bad. 129 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:28,037 Six months' practice later, I was ready to kick my dad's ass. 130 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,122 I knew just how I was gonna do it too. 131 00:05:30,206 --> 00:05:33,250 /'o' walk up to the tee, all nervous, 132 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,920 do a few clumsy practice swings, 133 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,130 and then /'o' hit that ball dead center, 134 00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:40,674 watch it arc through the sky, land on the green... 135 00:05:40,758 --> 00:05:42,301 And totally wow my dad. 136 00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:45,429 [ Under breath ] No. No. 137 00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:48,599 Wow. 138 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:53,395 J' it's over now the music of the j' 139 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:56,732 [ high note] J' night at 140 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,484 okay. Greatjob, everyone. 141 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:01,695 Thank you, but it was really everyone. Give yourself a round. 142 00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:04,657 - [ Phone ringing ] - Oh, Marcus's mom. Shh. 143 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,242 Fingers crossed. 144 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,455 Why is it taking you so long? How hard is it to paint a wall? 145 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,666 A lot harder than your so-called singing. 146 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:15,626 At least this is supposed to be flat. 147 00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,419 I once saw a monkey paint a wall. 148 00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:19,296 Yeah? Did you say, “good job, mom”? 149 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,716 Mono? But he's my lead. 150 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:26,470 My career depends upon this. The district is this close to cutting my funding. 151 00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:29,199 And my fingers are very close together right now. Just let me talk to Marcus. 152 00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:30,724 [ Luke ] ; Nighttime sharpens j' 153 00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,726 he would never turn his back on this company. 154 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,562 We are like family here. 155 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:37,898 3 stirs imagination 3 156 00:06:37,982 --> 00:06:39,733 I'm sorry. We're going another way. 157 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:43,320 3 silently the senses 3 158 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:48,367 3 abandon their defenses 33 159 00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,372 33 [ Humming ] 160 00:06:53,497 --> 00:06:55,600 [Whispers ] Any news about Marcus? Why are you whispering? 161 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,585 Saving my voice, just in case. 162 00:06:57,710 --> 00:07:02,047 Oh. Well, Marcus is out. But luckily, I found an even better phantom right here. 163 00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:04,341 I wouldn't say “better,” but since you did... 164 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:06,135 Luke. I was just about to ask him. Luke? 165 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:08,429 He knows the show. He sings like a nightingale. 166 00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,890 And he has a certain theatrical madness in his eyes you cannot teach. 167 00:07:12,016 --> 00:07:13,892 That's just from all the paint. Uh, Luke! 168 00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:16,496 Stop it! Are you trying to spook him? What are you talking about? 169 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,481 He's already intimidated by you after you criticized his sets. 170 00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:23,027 Oh, please. I could not be the only person that found his unicorns distracting. 171 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,987 Let me talk to him first. 172 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,781 If I can't get the job done, then you step in. 173 00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,884 Kind of like the way an understudy would traditionally take over... 174 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,452 When the lead finds himself... 175 00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:32,995 Yeah. Just do it. 176 00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:36,165 Hey there, Luke. Or should I say “phantom”? 177 00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:37,833 You want to get to the point? 178 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:41,253 'Cause I'm kind of on a schedule, and this paint keeps making me fall down. 179 00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:43,255 Marcus is out, and cam wants you to take over. 180 00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:46,425 Really? Well, I do know all the songs. 181 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:49,887 Stop trying to talk yourself out of it. You're doing it. It's only for two nights. 182 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,765 You're doing it again— Looking at the negatives. 183 00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:54,475 Look at the bright side. 184 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:57,686 What if you don't screw up, humiliate yourself and get mocked forever? 185 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,105 I'd get mocked? Only by the cool kids. 186 00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:02,775 But who needs them? You're one of us now... 187 00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:04,360 The theater geeks. 188 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:10,658 3 Vermont is snowy Las Vegas is showy 3 189 00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:15,746 3 and those are the capitals I remember 33 190 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,998 what if this had been at the top of the stairs? 191 00:08:18,082 --> 00:08:20,125 I mean, I really could have gotten hurt, right? 192 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:22,252 Uh-huh. Lily, I made you lunch. 193 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,254 Peanutbufler my favorite! 194 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:26,858 It's just hard to believe that somebody could be so oblivious... 195 00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:29,134 To a situation that is clearly dangerous. 196 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:33,138 Look at us. We're like a little family. [ Chuckling ] I know. 197 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,265 We're the parents. I know! 198 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,726 I know what his response would be: 199 00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:40,562 “But you're fine. Why are you getting all bent out of shape?” 200 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,356 But what if I wasn't fine? 201 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:46,568 What if he walked through the door and he thought he had created a horrible accident? 202 00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:48,445 This is so fun. 203 00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,989 Good. She's gone. Grab your camera. 204 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,117 I'm gonna make his little hand fiip us off again. 205 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,952 [ Both chuckling ] 206 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,913 No, it's not just me. Three mothers are giving the party, 207 00:08:57,996 --> 00:08:59,998 and we need all our names in the card... 208 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:03,877 Gloria pritchett, Sara leoner, Dee chaw. 209 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:06,672 What do you mean that there's no more room? Dee chaw must go on. 210 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:09,049 Okay. Come on. That one had to be on purpose. 211 00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:11,343 Okay. We'll be there then. 212 00:09:11,427 --> 00:09:13,804 They won't be ready until one more hour. 213 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,223 You maybe want to take a shift carrying this dry ice? 214 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:17,933 No, I just had a baby. 215 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,685 I've watched you carry Manny to bed. 216 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,895 I know what we can do to kill time. 217 00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:23,772 My psychic is around the corner. 218 00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:26,024 Please tell me you just said “sidekick.” 219 00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:28,569 I used to think that I knew everything too. 220 00:09:28,652 --> 00:09:31,989 We'll go in for a reading. I'll let her know that we're coming. 221 00:09:33,157 --> 00:09:35,534 You have got to be kidding me. 222 00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:39,163 I'm trying to remember the telephone number. 223 00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:41,999 What is happening to me? 224 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,251 All right. What are we, three strokes down now? 225 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:47,212 I think someone needs a pepper talk. 226 00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:49,381 Ah! Ow! 227 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:52,509 How was that a pepper talk? You need to get angry, play aggressive. 228 00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:55,137 That man's been Mitch-slapping you your entire life. 229 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:58,515 I know, but he— He's being so nice to Phil. 230 00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,976 And Phil is way worse than I ever was. 231 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:05,439 I don't know. Maybe he's not the unsympatheticjerk he used to be. 232 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:09,026 Okay. So you got off to a rough start. Let's simplify. 233 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:13,655 On this shot, I want you to just concentrate on bending your knees. 234 00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:16,283 You got it? Bend my knees. 235 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,951 Bend my— dang itl 236 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,430 straighten my knees. Son of a bitch. You're a hopeless embarrassment. 237 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,207 You're kickin' up more sand than a sea turtle layin' eggs. 238 00:10:26,502 --> 00:10:29,421 - Did you see that? - Yeah, that wasn't half bad. 239 00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:31,298 Hey, listen. I'm sorry I yelled. 240 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:34,861 No. That's what I needed. My tumbling master in college used to yell at me all the time. 241 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,470 It just made me better. Really? 242 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,490 Oh, yeah. He'd say terrible things about my manhood. 243 00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:42,114 He'd throw the chalk bag at me. He'd call me and taunt me over the summer to keep me sharp. 244 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,603 So bring it, Jay. You stink, Phil. 245 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:47,856 You're the worst thing to happen to golf since they let people wear shorts. 246 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:52,069 - You just told me— - [weeping I no, no. This is part of it. 247 00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:55,948 Did you hear that? And he wasn't just talking to Phil. 248 00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:58,492 He was talking to 10-year-old you and 12-year-old you. 249 00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:01,829 [ Club strikes ball ] Suck it, nancyl 250 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,956 I was just trying to help. 251 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:07,000 Just listen with an open mind. 252 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:10,087 - She doesn't believe in psychics. - It's not just psychics. 253 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,422 It's all unquantifiable phenomena. 254 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,174 I'm going to save you some time. 255 00:11:14,258 --> 00:11:15,884 [Whispers ] She doesn't have a boyfriend. 256 00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:17,761 Maybe not now, but soon. 257 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,389 You see? That means— shh. Go on. 258 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:23,225 You are going to meet someone special. 259 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:27,271 I see a handsome man on a horse— like a knight. 260 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:30,023 Well, I am going to a renaissance fair this weekend. 261 00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:31,567 Yes, I know. 262 00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:33,151 There's no renaissance fair. 263 00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:35,153 Even if there was, I wouldn't go. 264 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:38,031 I'd be the laughingstock of the young astronomers club. 265 00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:41,118 But I couldn't tell Gloria her fortune-teller was a fake. 266 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,203 Not until I had a little more fun. 267 00:11:43,287 --> 00:11:46,456 I see that you're smiling. You're enjoying yourself. 268 00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:49,102 I know it sounds crazy, but could you please tell me what happened... 269 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:51,169 To my bunny buttons, who ran away when I was five? 270 00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:53,422 Never had a bunny. Hate bunnies. 271 00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:55,883 I see a farm with a red barn. 272 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,593 I know who's in the barn! 273 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,720 It's like scrabble with Haley. 274 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:02,723 After a while, you're just playing against yourself. 275 00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:05,767 [Cameron ] Okay, everyone. Look sharp, please. The press is here. 276 00:12:05,851 --> 00:12:08,145 As I was saying, Maureen, I was really at an advantage. 277 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,690 Having seen the Broadway production, I was able to learn from their mistakes. 278 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,613 For example, in my production, the phantom appears in the first scene... 279 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,529 Because, after all, it's not called Christine and raoul of the opera. 280 00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:20,049 I have two sources telling me your lead is home with chicken pox. 281 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,909 Uh, mono. Make that three sources. 282 00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:25,037 Damn, you're good. Um, permission to speak... off the record. 283 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:26,705 Denied. Okay, fine. 284 00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:29,082 Well, then see for yourself in just a moment. 285 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,626 Tonight, a star will be born. 286 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:33,253 Not now, Manny. I'm birthing something. Cam? 287 00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:37,424 Sometimes in the theater, the real drama happens before the curtain rises. 288 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,259 Observe. 289 00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,012 Luke Dunphy, 290 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,097 how would you like to play the starring role... 291 00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:47,684 In Cameron Tucker's Andrew Lloyd Webber's phantom of the opera? 292 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,269 Nope. Hmm? 293 00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:51,956 Luke Dunphy, is it true you passed because of creative differences... 294 00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,523 With an overbearing director? 295 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,067 Say nothing to that jackall 296 00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:57,069 Manny, what happened? I tried my best. 297 00:12:57,152 --> 00:12:59,446 He started hyperventilating just thinking about it. 298 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,883 I guess some people are just uncomfortable taking center stage. 299 00:13:01,907 --> 00:13:05,147 Okay. Well, maybe we can pump Marcus full of whatever they gave those bike riders. 300 00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:07,829 He's too sick. But don't worry, cam. You'll think of something. 301 00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:09,957 It's always darkest right before the... 302 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,000 Reuben, could you keep that thing still? 303 00:13:12,084 --> 00:13:14,461 Okay. Well, I guess we only have one option. 304 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:16,213 I'll do it. 305 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,215 I was gonna say, “play the role myself,” 306 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,134 but, you know, I guess it really should be about the kids. 307 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,638 Now, if I had tripped on your father's golf ball, 308 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,015 say, top of the stairs, probably would have... 309 00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:29,643 Oh, no! Taken out some pictures. 310 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,366 Look what you've done, phill [ Haley] moml 311 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,939 it's okay. It's finally sleeping. 312 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,274 Hey, we should take a picture of all of us. 313 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,735 Once you get going, you know, you just can't stop. 314 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,946 You're taking everything down with you. 315 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,489 Ohl [ Chuckles ] 316 00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:46,326 And then, to make it perfectly clear to your father what happened, 317 00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:49,055 I put the golf ball right here, because some people can't see the danger... 318 00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:51,623 Unless it's right under their nose. 319 00:13:51,707 --> 00:13:54,084 [ Shutter clicks ] Having kids is fun. 320 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,669 And easy. 321 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,630 Maybe this is what I should do with my life. 322 00:13:58,714 --> 00:13:59,715 [ Hale ohl y] 323 00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:06,179 Oh, he's such a little angel. I want one. 324 00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:09,057 Shh, Haley. Little dude needs his sleep. 325 00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:12,477 I wanted to tell Haley about the dangers of starting a family too early, 326 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:15,772 but what could I say that couldn't be said better... 327 00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,774 By a screaming baby? 328 00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:19,359 [ Loud clattering ] 329 00:14:19,443 --> 00:14:21,278 Moml oh, sorry. 330 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,614 - I don't know what's wrong with me today. - [ Discordant notes] 331 00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,241 Monfi sfihgood. 332 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,011 [ Claire ] Sorry. Would you just get out of here? 333 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,162 Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Sorry. 334 00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,497 [Objects clattering ] Sorry. 335 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,668 When he wakes up, we should all go out for ice cream. 336 00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,296 I was thinking the same thing. [ Chuckles ] 337 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:44,593 What are you doing? Minding my own business. 338 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:47,679 Wait. Ice cream might ruin Lily's dinner. 339 00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:51,058 So I spent all afternoon cooking. 340 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,601 I thought ice cream would be fun. 341 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,187 All you've done today is have fun while I did all the work. 342 00:14:55,270 --> 00:14:57,522 I'm just trying to make the most of it with these kids. 343 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:01,109 I don't have as much time with them as you do. What, by spoiling them? 344 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,862 [ Phone chimes] Who's that? Who's texting you? 345 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,864 It's just about work. Typical. 346 00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,783 Even when you're here, you're not here. 347 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,701 Why are you this upset about ice cream? 348 00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:12,847 If that's what you think this is about, then you haven't heard a word I've said. 349 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:15,373 I-I'm confused. Why do we even have these kids? 350 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:17,125 I don't know! 351 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,419 I'm going home! Good! 352 00:15:21,338 --> 00:15:23,298 [ Fire alarm beeping ] 353 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:26,134 [Joe crying ] Oh. Fantastic. 354 00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:28,678 One stroke down on the final hole. 355 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:32,349 It's such a big putt— Such a big, big putt. 356 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,893 I like big putts, and I cannot lie. 357 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:35,976 Money. 358 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,521 You know what would be sad? 359 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,106 You doing all that practicing... 360 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:41,749 To finally be able to beat your old man and comin' up just short. 361 00:15:41,817 --> 00:15:44,486 I almost... can't watch. [ Putts] 362 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,197 [Cheenng] [Laughs] 363 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,033 - You're up, ace. - [ Laughing ] 364 00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:53,954 Oh. I was the same way with my father. 365 00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:57,624 It's always complicated. Not for mine. My dad was just supportive. 366 00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:00,168 Never missed a tumbling meet or a break-dance brawl. 367 00:16:00,252 --> 00:16:02,754 Heck, I'd set up the sound system for our school assembly, 368 00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:04,714 he'd be the loudest voice in the crowd. 369 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:07,717 “Hey, everybody! Check out my son's equipmentl” 370 00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,302 yeah. 371 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:10,929 Hey, seriously, good luck. 372 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,973 - You played good. I'm proud of you. - Really? 373 00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:14,766 We should do this again sometime. 374 00:16:14,850 --> 00:16:17,185 Don't listen to him. He's “cat's in the cradle”-ing you. 375 00:16:17,269 --> 00:16:19,938 - What? - He's playing on your emotion so you lose your edge. 376 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:22,315 - I do it to my son all the time. - Did he say “son”? 377 00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:25,277 Yes. He's a Navy seal. [Sighs] 378 00:16:25,402 --> 00:16:27,529 I've said too much. What's “cat's in the cradle”? 379 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:31,050 You know, that song about the dad who misses all the important moments in his kid's life. 380 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:34,536 Stay strong, just like Kyle did in Yemen. 381 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,413 Oh, my god. I'm a sieve. 382 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,373 All right, Mitch. It's showtime. 383 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:41,877 Five, six, a-five, six, seven, eight. 384 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,172 [ Pe yes! Pper laughs ] Hal 385 00:16:45,297 --> 00:16:47,966 a hundred bucks! We did it! 386 00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:51,553 Now I can afford the shirt that matches these pants. 387 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,346 So, drinks in the clubhouse? 388 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:56,808 Can't. My kid's in a play. Yeah, I'm meeting a client for another round of golf. 389 00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:59,186 Hey, if you see Luke, will you give him a hug for me? 390 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:01,747 Will do. Hey, I was serious about we should play again sometime. 391 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:04,816 It's a crazy thing, but if I had been less of a hardhead when you were a kid, 392 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,735 we could have had 20 years in this dumb game. 393 00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:10,989 Nah, it was half my fault. I mean, I used to be pretty sensitive. 394 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,617 So, you really weren't “cat's in the cradle”-ing me back there? 395 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,202 Of course not. 396 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,471 How have I not heard of this song you keep talking about? 397 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,348 - You have. It's the worst. - It's the schmaltziest. 398 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:23,418 Unbearable. I'll play it on the way back. I have it on my iPod phone. 399 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:26,880 [ Il/lan ] 3 and the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon 3 400 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:30,008 3 little boy blue and the man in the moon 3 401 00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:32,969 3 ”when you comin'home, dad?” ”/ don't know when 3 402 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:36,097 3 but we'll get together then 3 403 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,267 3 you know we'll have a good time then ”3 404 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:42,812 I should have golfed with you sooner, dad. I never made the time. 405 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,773 Luke! 406 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:46,900 I need to call my son. 407 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,902 What time is it in Damascus? 408 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,738 [Sighs] Why don't I just draw them a map? 409 00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:55,867 Ready to play, Phil? I can't, carll my boy's sets are in a play! 410 00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:01,539 I get the feeling that something wonderful has happened to someone you know. 411 00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:05,418 Yes, it's Manny. He got the lead role in the school play. 412 00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,962 Yes, that's it. 413 00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:09,273 Okay. I think you might have met her halfway on that one. 414 00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,258 [ Gasps ] Do you feel that? 415 00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:13,468 A presence has just entered the room. 416 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:16,471 Or the a/c kicked in. Gloria, I have to say something. 417 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,599 It's your abue/a. [ Gasps ] Which one? 418 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:22,185 Is she smoking a pipe or is she smoking a cigar? 419 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:25,105 - A cigar. - My mother's mother. 420 00:18:25,188 --> 00:18:26,940 I miss her so much. 421 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,692 She says she misses you too. 422 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:32,112 I wish that she was here now to see fulgencio Joe. 423 00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:36,408 She has seen him, and she says, “he's beautiful.” 424 00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:38,368 He is, isn't he? 425 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,537 Ay. Tell her that I love her. 426 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:43,123 She knows. [ Sighs 1 427 00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:45,125 thank you so much for that. 428 00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:47,168 You see now? 429 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,130 I think I do. 430 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:56,177 [ Off-key] 3 the music of the night 3 431 00:18:56,303 --> 00:19:00,181 okay, Manny, quick question. Did you forget the notes I gave you or choose to ignore them? 432 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:03,828 - Where you going with that? - We need an extra one in front. Mr. Namagachi decided to come. 433 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:07,123 You mean the disgraced teacher I replaced suddenly has an interest in this production? 434 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,690 He's parking his peugeot right now. 435 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,109 Wow. The vultures are officially circling. 436 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:14,072 Okay, Manny, it's no secret that you were not my first choice for this... 437 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:15,613 Or my second... 438 00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:19,159 But it's not too late for you to make this your very own phantom. 439 00:19:19,242 --> 00:19:21,911 So I want you to watch what Luke did and copy that. 440 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:25,999 [Luke on video ] 3 silently the senses 3 441 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,625 3 abandon their defenses 3 442 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:31,838 he was glorious. Every note, every nuance. I was transported. 443 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:35,216 And I was furious. But my quarrel wasn't with Luke. 444 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:37,260 It was with god. 445 00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:40,263 Save a seat for your sister. 446 00:19:41,639 --> 00:19:43,516 Excuse me. I think that's my seat. 447 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,311 Dadl what are you doing here? 448 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:48,688 You kidding me? My grandson paints the sets for a play, 449 00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:51,024 and I'm not gonna drive in from Florida, huh? 450 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:53,109 [ Laughing ] Is this one taken? 451 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,153 All yours. [ Frank] 452 00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:57,906 That sweatshirt— I'm on the tennis team. 453 00:19:57,989 --> 00:19:59,741 We're the valley science knights. 454 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:02,702 The knights? 455 00:20:02,786 --> 00:20:08,166 3 nighttime sharpens 3 456 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:13,213 3 heightens each sensation 3 457 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:15,965 what? 3 darkness stirs 3 458 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,510 it's Luke! No. 459 00:20:18,593 --> 00:20:22,555 3 and wakes imagination 3 [ Sobbing ] 460 00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:26,726 3 silently the senses 3 461 00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,561 3 abandon their defenses 3 462 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:32,023 that could have been you out there. It wouldn't have been right. 463 00:20:32,107 --> 00:20:34,651 I'm sure you would have gotten some of it right. 464 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,236 Not what I meant. 465 00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:37,821 3 by right 33 466 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,367 hey, thanks for meeting me here. 467 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:45,370 No reason we can't mix business with a little pleasure, am I right? 468 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:48,015 I'm just excited to find someone who enjoys this sport as much as I do. 469 00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,267 Well— [ Clears throat] I'm gonna be straight with you, Carl. 470 00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:53,920 You got a ton of inventory to move, and you're in need of a serious realtor. 471 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,047 Uio uioi [ Grunts ] 472 00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:57,924 So how firm are you on your commission? 473 00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:00,385 As I think you can see, I'm quite fiexible. 474 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:02,095 I'll be honest, Phil. I like you. 475 00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,597 - I think I'm ready to move fonnard with this. - Really? 476 00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:06,850 Well, I'm thrilled! 477 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,935 Hey, you know, we could make this official. 478 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:12,105 Nice form, son. I'm talking about that contract, of course. 479 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:14,691 [Laughs] Yousfihgotfi, dad. 480 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,693 That's my dad. Hi.