1 00:00:04,422 --> 00:00:07,425 Clive Bixby. What a sexy surprise. 2 00:00:07,550 --> 00:00:09,177 Quick question. 3 00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:11,345 Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? 4 00:00:11,429 --> 00:00:13,222 Because you f— fell... 5 00:00:13,306 --> 00:00:14,807 I'm gonna come in again. 6 00:00:14,891 --> 00:00:16,642 We are watching baby Joe on Valentine's day, 7 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,603 so my dad and Gloria can— Make love. 8 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,188 Ew. Don't. 9 00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:21,957 The point is, we are celebrating a day early. 10 00:00:21,981 --> 00:00:23,482 So they can finally be intimate. 11 00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:25,193 You've... more than made that point. 12 00:00:25,276 --> 00:00:27,087 I'm just saying, it's a long wait after giving birth. 13 00:00:27,111 --> 00:00:28,571 Six weeks. Ugh. 14 00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,591 I couldn't keep my hands off this one for that long. 15 00:00:30,615 --> 00:00:33,951 I can only imagine what Jay's going through. 16 00:00:36,037 --> 00:00:37,496 Voila. 17 00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:41,125 Square knot. Impressive. I can make any kind of knot. 18 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,753 It's like I have a sailor in my mouth. 19 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,463 I should check on the kids. 20 00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,482 Haley took 'em to the movies. She's not even gonna answer. 21 00:00:47,506 --> 00:00:49,526 I know, but, sweetie, I have a good reason to worry. 22 00:00:49,550 --> 00:00:51,385 Luke had that nasty nosebleed this morning, 23 00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:53,304 and Alex, as usual, fainted. 24 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,056 She's fine, and Dunphy men get nosebleeds. 25 00:00:55,139 --> 00:00:57,642 I told you this when we got married. It was in my vows. 26 00:00:57,725 --> 00:01:00,162 I'm still a little unclear as to why you put them in your vows... 27 00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:03,064 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 28 00:01:03,147 --> 00:01:04,787 You should finish that drink, pretty lady. 29 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:06,359 We got a big night ahead of us. 30 00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,902 Okay. 31 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,862 First, we have a date with romance. 32 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,240 A threesome, if you will. 33 00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:14,659 From here, we move on to an old-fashioned blimpnic. 34 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:17,954 Now is that the one where the man has to face out, but the woman... 35 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:20,373 It's a picnic on a blimp. 36 00:01:20,498 --> 00:01:21,958 Hmm. Champagne, cheese... 37 00:01:22,041 --> 00:01:23,709 And this beautiful city beneath us. 38 00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:26,003 That actually sounds really romantic. 39 00:01:26,087 --> 00:01:29,548 After that, we swap our earplugs for some earmuffs, 40 00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:32,635 take a few moonlit turns around the local ice rink. 41 00:01:34,303 --> 00:01:38,099 From there, it's a quick trip back to the hotel, where... 42 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,601 - I'm spinning. - I wouldn't start with that, 43 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:43,354 but, uh, we— We can work our way up to it. 44 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,189 No. I'm feeling really weird. 45 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,942 Can't shock clive. Just tell me what you want. 46 00:01:48,067 --> 00:01:50,611 Juliana? 47 00:01:50,695 --> 00:01:51,988 Claire? 48 00:01:52,071 --> 00:01:53,864 One of you needs to answer me. 49 00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:57,118 Y hey, heyy 50 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,328 y hey, heyy 51 00:01:59,412 --> 00:02:01,497 y hey, heyy 52 00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,624 y hey, heyy 53 00:02:03,708 --> 00:02:04,750 j hey jv 54 00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:09,630 blood pressure's still good. 55 00:02:09,714 --> 00:02:11,257 I think I can send you home. 56 00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,485 Great. So it was probably just low blood sugar or something. 57 00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,529 See, honey? I told you it was nothing to worry about. 58 00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:17,013 Well, it's not nothing. 59 00:02:17,096 --> 00:02:18,597 You did have a small heart episode. 60 00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:20,349 Dr. Coben, this may have been my fault. 61 00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:23,060 I think I was being... too sexy. 62 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,855 Yeah, I don't think that's an issue. 63 00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:29,358 - You sure about that? - Um, doctor, you're not saying... 64 00:02:29,442 --> 00:02:31,319 That I had a heart attack or something, right? 65 00:02:31,402 --> 00:02:33,612 Not at all. What you have is a very minor arrhythmia... 66 00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:35,740 Known as wolff-Parkinson-white syndrome. 67 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,451 It's hereditary, so you're off the hook. 68 00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:40,077 Oh, yeah. My mom has that. 69 00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,848 We'll treat it with medication and have you back in a couple of days. 70 00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:44,373 In the meantime, just take it easy. 71 00:02:44,457 --> 00:02:46,125 Okay. Thank you. 72 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,794 Guess we should tell your dad we can't watch the baby tomorrow. 73 00:02:48,878 --> 00:02:50,004 No. No. 74 00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,687 I don't want everyone to know about this. 75 00:02:51,756 --> 00:02:54,716 They're just gonna get worried and-and make a bigger deal of it than it is. 76 00:02:54,759 --> 00:02:56,260 Sweetheart, promise me. 77 00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:58,679 I promise. I know it's not that big a deal. 78 00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:01,265 This is a huge deal... 79 00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:03,851 For which I'm partly responsible, 80 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,520 in spite of what Claire's lesbian doctor says. 81 00:03:06,604 --> 00:03:09,398 Hey, honey, I was just reading about this wolff-white thing. 82 00:03:09,482 --> 00:03:12,068 It's not that serious. You're gonna be fine. 83 00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:13,694 I know. 84 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:17,114 Who's ready to hit the ice? 85 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:20,993 - What? - Come on. Somebody promised me a moonlit skate. 86 00:03:21,077 --> 00:03:23,162 But didn't the doctor say you needed to take it easy? 87 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,098 That's just one of those things they have to say, 88 00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:27,351 like, “you can't drink when you're pregnant.” 89 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,770 Come on. We're not gonna seriously blow off Valentine's day, are we? 90 00:03:29,794 --> 00:03:33,714 No. I just thought, why... ice things down... 91 00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:35,716 When we could heat things up? 92 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:38,719 Oh, I like where this is going. Right? 93 00:03:38,803 --> 00:03:40,262 Right? I do. Yes. 94 00:03:40,346 --> 00:03:42,014 Yeah? Ye— no! 95 00:03:42,098 --> 00:03:43,557 Honey, I know what you're doing. 96 00:03:43,641 --> 00:03:45,101 You're treating me like a patient, 97 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:46,811 and you promised that you wouldn't. No. 98 00:03:46,936 --> 00:03:49,563 No, no, no, no, no. I just had a better idea. What? 99 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:52,942 Side-by-side couples massage. 100 00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,986 Just you, me and a couple Cambodian guys to work us over good. 101 00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,030 Specific. 102 00:03:58,114 --> 00:03:59,865 What is that? 103 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,951 You think the kids mehome? 104 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,536 That sounds like more than our three. 105 00:04:03,619 --> 00:04:05,263 Gr 106 00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:09,083 Oh. Oh, they think we're not home, and they're having a party. 107 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,419 Fntmfimgthenm no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. 108 00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:14,130 “A,” it's my turn to kill them. 109 00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:17,216 Mm-hmm. B, you need to order up those massages. 110 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,010 It's under best number one u.S.A. Coca-Cola good-time massage. 111 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,599 What the hell is going on? 112 00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:27,268 Dad? What are you doing home? 113 00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:30,151 This is how it is? We're gone for a minute, and you guys throw a party? 114 00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:32,499 No! Just texted mom we're having a good time at the movies. 115 00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:34,024 Works every t— aaah! 116 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:36,068 - So this is a regular thing? - No! 117 00:04:36,152 --> 00:04:38,362 You know the drill. Coolers out b-aah-ack! 118 00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,865 Enough. Turn off the music! W / stops / 119 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,741 everybody who I did not create, 120 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:44,535 get out of my house right now! 121 00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:46,787 I don't want to get upset. 122 00:04:46,871 --> 00:04:49,331 - I've been through enough tonight. - What happened? 123 00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:51,250 I'm not supposed to tell you. 124 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:55,087 - When you say it like that, we make it worse in our heads. - Fine. It's no big deal. 125 00:04:55,171 --> 00:04:57,047 Your mother had to go to the hospital. 126 00:04:57,173 --> 00:04:59,693 Oh, my god! That is so much worse than it would be in our heads! 127 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,571 She's fine. She just passed out a little. Something to do with her heart. 128 00:05:02,595 --> 00:05:04,197 Like a heart attack? Mom had a heart attack? 129 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:06,265 Mom almost died of a heart attack? No! 130 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:09,185 She had a little episode, probably triggered by me. 131 00:05:09,268 --> 00:05:10,936 She just needs to rest. 132 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:12,620 Foronce, let's not think about ourselves. 133 00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,690 Phil, everything okay? 134 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,317 Fine! I'm coming. 135 00:05:16,442 --> 00:05:18,360 Just act like everything's normal. 136 00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:21,405 Oh, and if, uh, two Cambodian guys show up, send them to our bedroom. 137 00:05:27,244 --> 00:05:30,706 Kids had a few friends over. I handled it. 138 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:33,083 So you're good at handling things. 139 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:39,256 You like? Me love, but is this appropriate massage wear? 140 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:42,176 They were busy— which is what we should be getting. 141 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:45,888 Honey. Honey, are you sure this is okay for your... 142 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,015 Mm-hmm. Mmm. 143 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:50,601 Ooh! Salty. I still have a few moves. 144 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:51,894 It's the chips, sweetie. 145 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,354 Oh, sorry. Right. 146 00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:54,605 Mmm. 147 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,774 Mom, we need to talk to you. 148 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,567 Dad told us not to say anything, 149 00:05:58,651 --> 00:06:00,361 but we're really worried about you. 150 00:06:00,486 --> 00:06:01,737 You told them? 151 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,381 - You had a heart attack? - Phil! 152 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:06,742 That is not what I said. Kids, everything is fine. 153 00:06:06,825 --> 00:06:08,327 You're covered in blood! 154 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:09,828 Her heart exploded! 155 00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:11,956 Oh, my god! I did it again! Phil, it's your nose. 156 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:14,375 This is the one thing... 157 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:17,670 The one thing I asked from you is not to make a big deal of this, 158 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,297 and you couldn't even do that. Honey, you need to stay calm. 159 00:06:20,381 --> 00:06:22,007 No, I don't, because I am fine. 160 00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:24,134 We are all fine. 161 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:27,179 Oh, god. Haley, revive your sister. 162 00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:35,062 Not in the mood for an apology, Phil. 163 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:38,023 Good, 'cause you're not gettin' one. I'm allowed to worry about you. 164 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:41,027 Mm-hmm. Yeah, when there's something to worry about. But this was nothing. 165 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,630 I told you, my mom has this. Which I just found out about today. 166 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:45,781 How has that not come up in 20 years? 167 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,491 I was... getting to it. 168 00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:50,160 I know you feel like you have to be the rock for this family... 169 00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,746 And worry about everybody's boy problems and nosebleeds... 170 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,748 And... who has enough Greens. 171 00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,668 They're supposed to cover half the plate. Claire, stop it. 172 00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,046 I'm saying you could let us take care of you every once in a while. 173 00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:04,675 Like, for example, when you clutch your chest and collapse. 174 00:07:05,718 --> 00:07:07,428 This house isn't gonna crumble into dust... 175 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:09,221 If you let yourself be vulnerable. 176 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,974 We don't know that. We could find out. 177 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,726 [ Sighs 1 178 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,938 it was kind of scary. 179 00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:20,232 Of course. 180 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:23,360 Until I knew what it was, and then— don't ruin it. 181 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:29,325 I just have one more question. Hmm? 182 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,036 Did it hurt— Well, I blacked out before I... 183 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,496 When you fell from heaven? 184 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,665 Nailed it. 185 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,216 You just take care of Claire. We got Joe. 186 00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:47,843 Gloria? 187 00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,428 G 8/1 mi amor? 188 00:07:49,511 --> 00:07:51,805 Wow. Happy Valentine's... 189 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:53,349 Wait, wait, wait. Time out. 190 00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,225 That was Phil. They can't watch Joe today. 191 00:07:55,351 --> 00:07:58,312 Claire was in the emergency room last night. Is she okay? 192 00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:00,397 She's gonna be fine, but she had a little bit... 193 00:08:00,481 --> 00:08:02,483 Okay, good. I love how you look in this suit. 194 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:04,318 Let's see how it looks on the floor, okay? 195 00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,362 Okay, but I gotta be in a meeting in one hour. 196 00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,489 A y, that's so cute— That after six weeks, 197 00:08:08,614 --> 00:08:11,325 you think you're going to need an hour! 198 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,285 Happy Valentine's day! 199 00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:16,890 It's the one time of the year when the world tries to be as romantic as I am all the time. 200 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:19,083 - Good luck, world. - Get out. 201 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:20,852 Anyway, since you're almost done dressing Jay, 202 00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,586 how about we head to school early? 203 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:24,963 I'll check my hair and meet you in the car. 204 00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:29,176 Gloria, I'll be back in two hours, tops. 205 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,929 We decide who does what when you come back. 206 00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:36,534 I got a ticket running a red light— - 207 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,185 So let's make this worth it. 208 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,771 - Put the kid down. - I can't. He's being a real pritchett. 209 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,666 We need to come up with a different term for that. 210 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:45,526 Watch. 211 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,194 Watch. 212 00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,572 I used to have a TV got reception like that. 213 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:53,575 Let me try. Hey, Joe-Joe. Hey, buddy. 214 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,054 Guy to guy, you're blocking me a little bit. You know that. 215 00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:58,789 Yes, you do. Yes, you do, Joe. 216 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,709 Hey, how 'bout a half hour? What do you say, pal? Huh? 217 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,252 Can you do it? 218 00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:05,087 Attaboy. 219 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:08,298 I've never been more attracted to you. Prove it. 220 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,842 Are you kissing? 221 00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,386 That's a bit of a mood killer. My daddies kiss a lot. 222 00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:13,971 And fiatlined. 223 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,849 Mitch and cam are having a party for Valentine's. 224 00:09:16,932 --> 00:09:20,602 Claire was supposed to take care of her, but now she can't. 225 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:24,148 Lin, we're so happy to have you here. 226 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,316 I have a big surprise for you. 227 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,736 Look. A brand-new, shiny TV remote. 228 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:30,320 Looks complicated. 229 00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:32,990 Just keep hitting all those buttons until something good happens. 230 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,867 That's my plan anyway. 231 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:36,368 Woof! 232 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,996 Where were all these distractions... 233 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,039 The night that Joe was conceived? 234 00:09:41,123 --> 00:09:43,041 I'm kidding. He's a blessing. 235 00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,254 Can I help you? Yeah, I'm Harlan. 236 00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,173 I'm here to do your baby proofing. 237 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,759 Jay, I've been waiting for this appointment for weeks. 238 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,469 I've waited longer for mine. 239 00:09:53,552 --> 00:09:55,929 The human race has survived for a thousand years... 240 00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:58,599 Without these foam bumpers and-and gates everywhere. 241 00:09:58,682 --> 00:10:00,362 Hell, I used to drive to the supermarket... 242 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,272 With Mitchell and Claire on the hood of the car. 243 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,563 When did everybody get so overprotective? 244 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,107 Maybe when kids started flying off cars. 245 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:09,651 How long? Normally I have help, but Dale, uh... 246 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:12,130 You met Dale at the shop. He's a tall guy. He's my sister's kid... 247 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:14,474 Listen. You and I are gonna bang this out in about an hour. 248 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,327 Where do you want it? 249 00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:23,391 I know a lot of people think that I'm attracted to Jay... 250 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:26,210 Because of his money, but they're wrong. 251 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,796 I am attracted to him because he's sexy, 252 00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:31,465 and he's never been sexier than today. 253 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,175 The suit, 254 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,260 the carrying of the boxes... 255 00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:36,804 No, no. You listen to me. 256 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,680 You've had my wife's car four days. 257 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,724 Figure out what that screeching noise is, 258 00:10:40,808 --> 00:10:42,476 or you'll be making one yourself. 259 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,230 The yelling on the phone... 260 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,190 Give me that. 261 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:53,654 And the drilling. 262 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,697 So much drilling. 263 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:59,201 Time to go, Harlan. Okay. You want me to walk you through any of this stuff? 264 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,054 No, we'll take it from here. Okay. Uh, listen. 265 00:11:01,078 --> 00:11:04,182 Give me a call if you have any trouble with the gates. They're a little tricky. 266 00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:05,833 Yeah. Gotta be gentle with... 267 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,168 Ten seconds, or I start without you. 268 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:10,712 Ready or not, here I... 269 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:12,297 Come on! Okay, you have to lift it. 270 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:15,175 It's not a lift. It's a squeeze. Okay, then squeeze it! 271 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:17,261 I'm squeezing it! It's impossible. 272 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,846 Jay, please. 273 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,266 Best day ever! 274 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:25,143 I just got invited to a Valentine's party by a secret admirer. 275 00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,271 You should go. Sounds great. Go. 276 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,897 I obviously need to get dressed first. 277 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,483 Can you keep it under a half hour? You're funny. 278 00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:35,863 Manny, come on. Let's go. 279 00:11:35,946 --> 00:11:38,866 Relax. You don't have to drive me. It's just down the street. 280 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:41,243 Oh, I thought I... had to drive you. 281 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,413 What's with the hat? 282 00:11:44,496 --> 00:11:47,666 My secret admirer requested I wear a hat with a feather in it. 283 00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:50,210 I'm, like, “which one?” really? 284 00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:53,005 This secret admirer have any other requests? 285 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:56,717 Uh, yes. She asked me to bring some poetry to recite at the party. 286 00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:01,221 Mm-hmm. These, uh, kids at the party... 287 00:12:01,305 --> 00:12:03,932 They wouldn't be the popular ones, by any chance? 288 00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:05,684 The most popular. Why? 289 00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:08,854 No reason. Just... have fun. 290 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,439 I will. 291 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,533 No, Jay. 292 00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:23,076 Squeeze. 293 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:35,422 What? I have cigar breath? It's not you. 294 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,466 Ay, did you already... 295 00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:39,134 What? 296 00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:42,721 No. I'm worried about Manny. 297 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:46,308 I think he's being set up for some kind of humiliation at that party. 298 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,977 A y, that's so sweet of you to worry. 299 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:52,022 Just when I thought that you couldn't get any sexier. 300 00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:53,707 Yeah, he's fine, right? Yeah, he's fine. 301 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,444 Come here. 302 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,279 Oh, I think I gotta check on him. 303 00:12:59,363 --> 00:13:02,366 It was something about some kind of secret admirer... 304 00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:04,326 Getting him to— bring his poems? 305 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:08,288 Yeah, he told me when I was lint-rolling his jacket. 306 00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:09,873 And you're not worried it's a prank? 307 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,583 Of course I worry. 308 00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:14,127 I worry about him all the time. 309 00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:17,589 But like you said, we can't protect them from everything. 310 00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:20,258 So I'm just trying to, like, let go a little bit. 311 00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:23,887 Let him ride on top of the car? No, that's just crazy. 312 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,099 That's the hardest part, isn't it? 313 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:31,520 When you realize you can't stop the world from hurtin' them. 314 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,815 Now you're making me want to cry. 315 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:37,693 This is not what this day is all about. You're right. 316 00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:40,654 Okay. I'll go and get us some champagne. 317 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,239 Good idea. 318 00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:49,496 Manny? 319 00:13:49,579 --> 00:13:53,041 No, nothing. Just wanted to know if everything is okay. 320 00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:56,420 Hi, honey. Sorry to bother you. I know you're resting. 321 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:59,006 I heard you had a little scare last night. 322 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,842 Hey, uh, when are you going back to the doctor? 323 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,802 'Cause if you want, I can go with you. 324 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:14,896 This year, for Valentine's day, 325 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:18,150 we decided to throw a lonely hearts party for all of our single friends. 326 00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:19,693 Sometimes when we're around them, 327 00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,237 we feel a little guilty for having found each other, 328 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,615 like we're waving our love in their faces. 329 00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:27,701 There's gotta be a better way of saying that. 330 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,995 Anyway, it was supposed to be an elegant affair. 331 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:32,080 Ogle me. 332 00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:33,790 Showtime! 333 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,435 Jj put the cat away. 334 00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:37,061 Okay. Yeah, right. Oh, and, Mitchell, please— hey. 335 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,795 Yeah. Please try to have fun tonight. 336 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:40,714 I always have fun. No, I know you're great... 337 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,008 At stay-at-home fun and sit-on-the-couch fun, 338 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,278 but this is party fun, and sometimes— okay, this is not fun. 339 00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,803 Get the door. 340 00:14:48,764 --> 00:14:50,849 Fun. I will show you some fun. 341 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:56,605 Things got a little hazy after that. 342 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,322 Hello? 343 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,491 Yeah, h-hi, dad. 344 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,743 No, no. I'm up. I am up. 345 00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,286 Yeah, bring her by at any time. 346 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,497 Okay. Good night. 347 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,373 Oh, cam. 348 00:15:15,457 --> 00:15:18,001 Oh, god, that was some party last night. 349 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:20,879 Yeah. Well, I'm just glad you made it home safely. 350 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,882 I don't even remember leaving the party. 351 00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,009 Oh, I-I think I got a little tipsy. 352 00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,553 Tipsy? You were like all of the mad men. 353 00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,097 Oh, no, no, no. 354 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:33,350 Don't make it out like I did a lot of crazy, out of control... 355 00:15:34,351 --> 00:15:36,770 I was hoping I dreamt that. Mmm. 356 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,623 Come on. Like you've never had a few cocktails... 357 00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:40,357 And dyed a cat pink with cherry kool-aid. 358 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,110 Okay. Well, is there anything else you need to tell me about? 359 00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:45,028 Not that I remember. 360 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:49,157 - I'm remembering this. - Oh, my gosh, Mitchell. 361 00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,618 Are these Burt and dottie winchell's Christmas decorations? 362 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:54,579 - How could you? - They never take them down, okay? 363 00:15:54,663 --> 00:15:56,665 I was doing the whole neighborhood a favor. 364 00:15:56,748 --> 00:15:58,792 Oh, god. Cam, I... 365 00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:01,002 You know, I think— I think there are pictures. 366 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:04,047 I remember pepper and longinus were— okay. 367 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:05,674 Mmm. Oh, my gosh. 368 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:08,639 Those poor reindeer. Oh, it seems that prancer is the belle of the ball. 369 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,178 No surprise there. 370 00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:11,972 Oh. You must be Vixen. 371 00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:13,723 Okay. Okay. Not funny, Mitchell. 372 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,268 Look at this place. What were you thinking? 373 00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:17,811 Okay. Cam, I... 374 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,105 Yes, I went a little nuts, all right? I-I'm sorry. 375 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,566 But I didn't do anything that can't be undone. 376 00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,526 Hey, roomies. 377 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:27,529 Hey, thank you so much for letting me move in here. 378 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,827 Yes. Could you excuse us for just a— a moment, Dylan? 379 00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:35,495 Yeah. Take as much time as you need. 380 00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,540 It's your house. I just live here now. 381 00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,917 Cam, did— did I tell him that he could live with us? 382 00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,294 Obviously. Oh, my god. 383 00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:43,837 Was he even at our party? 384 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,006 Yes. He's been driving a limousine for some company, 385 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:48,192 and j'Marcus hired him for the night, and now he lives here. 386 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,760 Are you all caught up there? I don't remember any of this. 387 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,947 Well, let's create a new memory, one where you tell him... 388 00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,890 He can't live here. 389 00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:57,017 Can I say one short thing? 390 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,227 I came to this house a broken man... 391 00:16:59,311 --> 00:17:01,646 After my mom threw me out for her new boyfriend, 392 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:04,733 and then I found out I was getting let go from the limo company... 393 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:07,694 The same night Haley goes to a party without me. 394 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:11,323 So I had nothing and no one. 395 00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:13,325 And then you... 396 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:16,244 Okay, come on. Tell him. Let him finish. 397 00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:20,999 I'm sorry. I mean, gay dudes have always been nice to me... 398 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,584 I mean, super nice... 399 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,669 But nothing like this. 400 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,963 I guess what I'm trying to say is... 401 00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,590 Oh, my god. He's gonna sing. 402 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:33,303 J' so many years living life unden~ater4~ 403 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:37,515 j' came up for air in the room of your daughter: 404 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:42,229 J' I never knew I would find my answer: 405 00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:45,732 J' in my ex-girlfriend's uncles' house j' 406 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:51,488 j' with the tiny pink panther u' 407 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,406 Dylan, Dylan. I'm sorry. 408 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,533 Oh, gosh. This is... 409 00:17:55,617 --> 00:18:00,538 This is really hard for me to say, but we-we just cannot... 410 00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,874 Not wash our cat. 411 00:18:02,958 --> 00:18:04,376 I'm sorry. 412 00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:09,047 And yet, when I did that drunk, not a scratch. 413 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:12,259 Oh, my gosh. This place is cleaner than when we moved in. 414 00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:13,982 I know. Best houseguest ever. 415 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:16,346 No, we are not keeping him. 416 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,991 Do you think he took the Christmas decorations back to the winchells'? 417 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,517 Oh, well, I think he thinks he did. 418 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:21,802 What? Okay, yeah. 419 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,353 Dylan! Dylan! Dylan! 420 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,106 - No, no, no. - Oh, hey, guys. I'm up here. 421 00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:27,691 Yeah, hi. Listen, Dylan. 422 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:31,444 Those decorations were on the yard of that house. 423 00:18:31,528 --> 00:18:33,446 Oh. No good deed, huh? 424 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,323 Yeah, well. 425 00:18:35,407 --> 00:18:38,576 Hey! I can see our house from here. 426 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,078 Uh! Oh! 427 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,014 Oh, geez. Are you kidding me? Dylan! 428 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,331 This day... 429 00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:46,042 One night. Just till his bone sets. 430 00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:49,045 Yeah, but there's always gonna be a reason not to tell him, isn't there? 431 00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,756 - Okay. What if we, um— - No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 432 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,134 No “we.” you made your bed. You lie in it. 433 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:57,012 - Don't lie there. I just made it. - I'm sorry. 434 00:18:57,095 --> 00:18:59,014 Not looking. Not looking. 435 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:01,433 - It's okay, Dylan. - I made you guys some soups. 436 00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:03,059 Oh, Dylan, you didn't have to do that. 437 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,937 Well, cam didn't have to offer to let me stay here, but he did. 438 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,064 So, here are soups. 439 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,649 Cam offered? 440 00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:11,901 Well, I know he was speaking for both of you. 441 00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,821 You weren't home yet. Is that a problem? 442 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:17,115 Not for me. 443 00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:19,617 Oh. Dylan, can you give us just a moment? 444 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:21,870 Not looking. Not looking. 445 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,913 I'll get it. 446 00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,542 So I guess in a way, we're both responsible. 447 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,754 Yeah, but in the real way, you're responsible. 448 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,340 Take care of that. 449 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,425 Come on. Let's do it. 450 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,177 Oh, my god. I hate myself right now. 451 00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:39,888 What kind of monster throws an injured innocent onto the street? 452 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:42,182 You can't live here. Get out! 453 00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:43,683 Lily. Lily! 454 00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,435 It's weird. You're a big boy. 455 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,079 I'm sorry, Dylan. She doesn't mean that. 456 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,522 No. She's right. Everyone says it. 457 00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:51,858 I need to stop running from conflict. 458 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,194 It's time to be a big boy and patch things up... 459 00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:56,738 And move back in with my mom. 460 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:58,323 I'll get my things. 461 00:19:58,406 --> 00:19:59,800 Okay. We're sorry. Sorry. 462 00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,034 Yeah. 463 00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:06,831 I guess I got off easy. She is blunt, but effective. 464 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,792 Maybe we should have her talk to the gardener. 465 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,710 Hey, c-cam, um... 466 00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:12,587 Do you really think that I'm not any fun? 467 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,672 - What? - Last night, you said that I... 468 00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,508 This isn't a hotel! 469 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,593 Yeah, you made your point, honey. 470 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,345 He's got it. 471 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,847 I only drank like that last night... 472 00:20:22,931 --> 00:20:25,058 Because I— I was trying to be more fun. 473 00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:27,811 Oh. No, I didn't mean it like that. 474 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,396 I'm sorry. 475 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:31,239 You know I have party anxiety. I was nervous. 476 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,816 No, but you're not entirely wrong. 477 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:36,694 I mean, I could be a little less... uptight... 478 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,321 Yeah. And loosen up a little bit. 479 00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:42,575 Maybe we could, you know, aim for middle-ground fun. 480 00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,536 You know, if you're up for a do-over, 481 00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:47,580 I recently heard of an idea that could put us in the low end... 482 00:20:47,705 --> 00:20:51,334 Okay. Of upper middle-ground fun. 483 00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,878 J'j' 484 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:55,922 Do you believe in love at first sight, 485 00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:58,007 or should I walk in again? 486 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:04,347 Jay? Coming, honey. Oh, god. 487 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,599 There you are, Jay. I thought you'd never wake up. 488 00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:08,327 Turns out my night with my secret admirer... 489 00:21:08,351 --> 00:21:09,811 Couldn't have gone better. 490 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:12,981 We danced all night. And the best part was, her eyes were just... 491 00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:14,983 Manny, manny— dying to hear it. 492 00:21:15,066 --> 00:21:17,569 Wait 10 seconds and come in and tell both of us. 493 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:20,864 Jay, you took so long. I'm not done with you. 494 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,825 I'm not done with you either. 495 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,119 Best Valentine's party ever. 496 00:21:26,202 --> 00:21:29,581 So there's this girl— I should start from the beginning. 497 00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:31,708 All right. So first a little history...