1 00:00:02,837 --> 00:00:04,213 [Yawns ] I know you're tired, 2 00:00:04,297 --> 00:00:05,858 but just think how good you're gonna feel tomorrow... 3 00:00:05,882 --> 00:00:07,734 When you wake up and we have all-new shelf paper. 4 00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:10,803 I wish I didn't get what you were talking about, but I do. I just do. 5 00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:13,055 [ Phone ringing ] Who could be calling at this hour? 6 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:15,057 Oh. It's sal. Mm-mmm. 7 00:00:15,141 --> 00:00:16,684 [Beeps] No. Not answering that. 8 00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:19,312 Whatever earth-shattering drama she's going through can wait. 9 00:00:19,437 --> 00:00:21,939 [ Knocking ] Until she gets here. 10 00:00:22,023 --> 00:00:24,150 Oh, god. I hope we have vodka. 11 00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:25,993 - We don't, Mitchell. - [ Knocking continues] 12 00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:29,197 Sal was our best girlfriend from back in our party days, 13 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,866 but over the years, we've kind of gone in different directions. 14 00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,409 We chose fonnard. 15 00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,661 [ Doorknob rattling ] [ Sal ] Why won't this open? 16 00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,830 Uh, something's wrong with that door. 17 00:00:37,914 --> 00:00:40,708 Okay, whatever. I have the most amazing news, and I'm super excited. 18 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,252 But I won't be if you don't want me to be. Ready? 19 00:00:43,336 --> 00:00:46,047 - I'm getting married! - Oh, my gosh! Congratulations! 20 00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:48,216 I know! Who's the guy? 21 00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:51,260 - The love of my life. - So you finally bagged your boss. 22 00:00:51,344 --> 00:00:54,013 Oh, yes. But it's not him. And I don't work there anymore. 23 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,306 His name is Tony. 24 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,934 I met him three months ago. He's the greatest guy ever. 25 00:00:58,017 --> 00:00:59,727 And seriously, are you guys okay with this? 26 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,354 Of course. Why wouldn't we be? 27 00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:02,998 Well, you know, because I can get married, 28 00:01:03,022 --> 00:01:04,565 and you guys... can't. 29 00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,609 80? That doesn't mean you shouldn't. 30 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:09,796 Really? Because I will not go through with it if you don't want me to. Seriously. 31 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:11,948 Not necessary. What kind of people would we be... 32 00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:14,033 If we denied you or anyone the right to marry? 33 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,660 Hashtag “politics.” [ Squeals ] 34 00:01:15,743 --> 00:01:18,704 This makes me so happy, because I want you two to be my best men. 35 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:21,290 [ Gasps ] Yes! Yes! Of course! Of course! 36 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,376 Shh. [ Mouths words] [ Gasps ] Okay. 37 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:25,336 The wedding is gonna be super cute. 38 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,089 Just us, a little dinner after. Oh, and it's next Friday. 39 00:01:28,214 --> 00:01:30,049 Oh! It's next Friday? 40 00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:32,094 Yeah. How will we have time to do best man stuff? 41 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:33,854 You know, like help you pick out your dress, 42 00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:35,972 get your flowers, get our hair blown out? 43 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:37,390 He's never been a best man before. 44 00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:38,975 Oh, my god. We're getting married! 45 00:01:39,058 --> 00:01:40,577 We're getting married! Let's have a drink. 46 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,354 We're out of vodka. I will see you on Friday. 47 00:01:45,314 --> 00:01:47,400 Y hey, heyy 48 00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:49,277 y hey, heyy 49 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,445 y hey, heyy 50 00:01:51,529 --> 00:01:53,281 y hey, heyy 51 00:01:53,364 --> 00:01:54,615 j hey jv 52 00:01:56,951 --> 00:02:00,538 and initial here and here and here. 53 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,748 Ay, my arm is starting to hurt. 54 00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:04,625 Just a couple more. What's going on? 55 00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:06,210 Nothing. I have to get this package. 56 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,795 But there's so much signing. 57 00:02:07,878 --> 00:02:10,589 Get out of here, you perv. 58 00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:13,384 What's the matter with you? 59 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:16,679 You don't do that in front of strangers. At least throw a blanket over it. 60 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,389 I am not ashamed. Obviously. 61 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,534 They're out all the time. In front of Manny. At the club. 62 00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:23,185 At Claire's dinner the other day, Phil almost ate a candle. 63 00:02:23,269 --> 00:02:26,981 Fine. Next time, I will feed your baby inside a dark closet. 64 00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:28,649 I'm just saying, pick your moments, huh? 65 00:02:28,733 --> 00:02:32,111 Like, let daliya open the door. That's why we hired her. Daliya? 66 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:36,407 My mother raised six children while working at a construction job. 67 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,118 She would be so ashamed if I have a nanny. 68 00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:42,705 I don't see a lot of shame from your mom when she's cashing my checks every month. 69 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,874 Hey, daliya, we gotta go see Manny's teacher. 70 00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:48,419 - Would you try to coax a burp out of this one? - Come here, little guy. 71 00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:52,006 Can you hold him a little higher? 72 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:53,966 I will. I'm just letting him get settled in. 73 00:02:54,050 --> 00:02:56,510 Okay, we're going. Bye-bye, Joe. 74 00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:58,512 He likes to bounce a little. 75 00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,556 Can you cup your hand... 76 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,767 Okay. So that he doesn't feel like you're slapping? 77 00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,770 She knows it. Stop micromanaging. Ow. 78 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,355 Cup your hand. 79 00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:10,524 - Hello. - Hey. 80 00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,627 Can one of you guys drive me to my cello thing tonight? 81 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:14,236 Yeah. Honey, I wish we'd known. 82 00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,405 We got a dinner thing with the flendersons. Mmm. 83 00:03:16,489 --> 00:03:19,116 Okay, you don't have to stay, and those aren't even real people. 84 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,951 Sorry. I panicked. 85 00:03:21,035 --> 00:03:23,162 I get stuck between the Flemings and the Hendersons. 86 00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:26,374 Oh, my god. Are those new boots? 87 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:29,251 - Yes. - I love 'em. They're so cute! 88 00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:31,212 - They are? - Oh, I forgot to tell you... 89 00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:33,714 Danielle gunston— First one in my class to get pregnant. 90 00:03:33,798 --> 00:03:35,132 You totally called it. 91 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:39,095 Did you hear that? My money was on Denise modick. 92 00:03:39,178 --> 00:03:41,555 No. First she complimented my fashion sense, 93 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:43,891 then she told me I did something right. 94 00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,434 Phil, I think it's happening. 95 00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:49,313 Raising a kid is like sending a rocket ship to the moon. 96 00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:52,108 You spend the early years in constant contact, 97 00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:54,902 and then one day, around the teenage years, 98 00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:58,155 they go around the dark side, and they're gone. 99 00:03:58,239 --> 00:04:01,200 All you can do is wait for that faint signal... 100 00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,160 That says they're coming back. 101 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:07,706 [ Inhales] I think Haley is sending me that signal. 102 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:09,500 [ Clears throat] 103 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,293 And? 104 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:14,922 And Phil gave me that analogy. Yeah. [Chuckles] 105 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,091 You know what? 106 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:21,178 I think I'm gonna ask her out to dinner tonight. Do you think she'll say yes? 107 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:24,265 If you want, I can pass her a note in study hall. 108 00:04:24,348 --> 00:04:27,101 - Hey. - What did I do? 109 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:30,771 Oh, my god. Nothing. I just wanted to know, if you weren't busy, 110 00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:33,015 you know, if you wanted to have dinner with me tonight. 111 00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:35,609 Dinner? Just you and me? 112 00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:37,462 I mean, you don't have to. It's cool. Don't worry. 113 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,447 Okay. No, sounds fun. Let's do it. 114 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:42,700 Let's meet by the front door then. You know, 7:00? 115 00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,785 Yeah. Okay. 116 00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:50,332 - [Whispers ] I totally think she likes you! - [Whispers ] I think so too. 117 00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:54,628 First of all, I just want to say what a pleasure it is to have Manny in art class. 118 00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:57,298 He's talented— can we just skip to what he did wrong? 119 00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:59,550 Who said that he did something wrong? Hit it. 120 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,343 - We do have an issue. - Told you. 121 00:05:01,427 --> 00:05:04,680 Manny seems to have quite a fascination with the female nude. 122 00:05:04,763 --> 00:05:06,807 So? He's a romantic. 123 00:05:06,891 --> 00:05:09,935 Well, this is all his art work over the last few weeks. 124 00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:11,395 Holy moly. 125 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:14,148 There were even more, but I think the janitor took some home. 126 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:17,318 Look at this. And this. 127 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,903 And these. [ Grunts ] 128 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,488 [ Gasps ] 129 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:23,199 Look, I'm an artist. I'm free. 130 00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:25,576 I used to have an earring up here. 131 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:29,330 But some of the other parents have complained. Well, the moms. 132 00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:32,458 He must have learned that at school, because we have filters in the computer, 133 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:35,002 and I have thrown out all of Jay's magazines. 134 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,629 Don't know what she's talking about. 135 00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:41,425 There is no way that Manny has seen this sort of thing at our home. 136 00:05:43,302 --> 00:05:45,095 We'll take it from here. 137 00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,268 Hey, buddy. It's just you and me tonight. 138 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:54,104 Sounds good. I'll be right down. All right. 139 00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:56,899 I knew it! What are you hiding? 140 00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,526 Porn. Don't lie to me! 141 00:05:58,609 --> 00:06:01,403 Fine. I'm trying to send a message to a girl on Facebook. 142 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:04,031 But she's so out of my league. Look at her. 143 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,574 Oh, yeah. She's cute. 144 00:06:05,658 --> 00:06:08,338 I've been sitting here forever and I can't think of anything to say. 145 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:12,665 You are in luck. If anyone knows the art of wooing the fairer sex, it's this guy. 146 00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:13,874 [Typing ] “Hey.” 147 00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:15,376 Vvam send. 148 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:18,045 Why would you type that? Now she knows I'm thinking about her. 149 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,713 [ Chimes ] Smiley face. 150 00:06:19,797 --> 00:06:22,424 Oh, my god. Stop now. We can only screw it up from here. 151 00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:24,148 Please. You're in the hands of the master. 152 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,345 I think I know how to pick up a 14-year-old girl... 153 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:27,429 For you. 154 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:33,727 “What's the haps tonight?” 155 00:06:33,811 --> 00:06:34,812 Boop. [Cnnms] 156 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,231 “What's the haps tonight”? Nobody says that. 157 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:40,776 [ Chimes ] “Going to the mall. Wanna meet?” 158 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:48,576 “Dinner at Rosa grill in an hour,” question Mark. 159 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:49,952 Boom! [ Chimes ] 160 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,746 Kids don't eat dinner. You don't eat dinner? What do you do? 161 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:55,040 I don't know. You just walk around and jump off stuff. 162 00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:57,084 You can't invite a girl to jump off stuff. 163 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,837 Well, it's way better than— [ Chimes ] 164 00:06:59,962 --> 00:07:02,464 “See ya then. X.O.” you're in, buddy. 165 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:05,217 [ Gasps ] I gotta get ready. Oh! 166 00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:11,265 All right. Let's go before this wears off. 167 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:13,892 I think we have a few days. 168 00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,686 [ Groans ] 169 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:18,772 ,¢fi[5pemhwsxkuz] vvemthankyou, dhnmes 170 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:21,734 [ chuckles ] You better get that out of your system, 171 00:07:21,817 --> 00:07:24,820 'cause in two hours, you're gonna be Mrs. Anthony lombardo. 172 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:28,032 Shh. [ Chuckles ] So does this Italian of yours cook? 173 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:32,661 In every room of the house, if you know what I mean! Ooh! 174 00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:34,246 [ Imitates bed squeaking ] 175 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,873 We have a lot of sex. Yeah. Got it. 176 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,292 Okay, now let's have a proper toast. All right. 177 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:39,918 To wild sal. Ow! 178 00:07:40,044 --> 00:07:41,420 Yeah! Yeah! 179 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,590 You gave it a good run, but like every legendary gunslinger, 180 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:48,969 there comes a time when you need to holster your weapons and ride off into the sunset. 181 00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:51,221 But you took on every man who came to town. 182 00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:52,806 [Laughs] I did. I really did! 183 00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:55,059 You sure did. 184 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,895 Also, you know, I'm just getting married. I'm not dying. 185 00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,813 No, no. We're just happy you're happy. 186 00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:02,334 And we're excited that we're gonna get to see much more of you now. 187 00:08:02,358 --> 00:08:04,401 Yes. We'll be couple friends. Mm-hmm. 188 00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,570 We'll go to movies. Take classes. 189 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,364 Our game nights on saturday— huge. 190 00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:10,783 They're epic. Yeah. Do you play cranium? 191 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:14,578 Well, if I'm playing board games on a Saturday night, you can shoot me in my cranium. 192 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,830 But I love you! [All laugh 1 193 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,124 I need to take a whiz. 194 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,918 [ Clears throat] [ Cameron ] Oh! 195 00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:23,796 I am so happy for her. I think we might have freaked her out though. 196 00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:27,841 No, Mitchell. Come on. You're a smart man, but you are awful at reading people. 197 00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,969 Sal's been different this week. That is a woman in love. 198 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:32,513 [Glass shatters] [ Sal gasps ] 199 00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:35,516 - [ Moaning ] - She looks like a woman in love. 200 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,768 Wow. 201 00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:44,066 Look, nobody's as happy as I am about you loving the ladies. 202 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,989 All I'm saying is you gotta pull back a little. 203 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:49,071 - Okay. - Ay, Manny, this is all my fault. 204 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,490 I am too free with my body. 205 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:54,118 It was okay when you were a little boy, but— was it? 206 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,703 But now that you're a young man, 207 00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:58,455 and your body— [ Manny] / men 'i hear a word the y said. 208 00:08:58,539 --> 00:08:59,957 All / could think about was dal/ya. 209 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,042 Every drawing, every poem, 210 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:05,170 every historical novel I wrote was for her. 211 00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,047 She was my muse. 212 00:09:07,131 --> 00:09:08,882 Toss in a body that doesn't quit, 213 00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:10,634 and I think we got a soul mate. 214 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:13,971 So there's a lot of other things you can draw. You've got your landscapes. 215 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:16,557 You've got your bowls of fruit. Trees. 216 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:19,226 A barn. The ladies with the fruit on the head. 217 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:22,080 - I said fruit. - But you didn't say the ladies with the fruit on the head. 218 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:25,149 I'm trying to get him away from the ladies. Ah, good. Good. Good. 219 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,400 [ Chattering ] 220 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:28,485 [ Scoffs ] This is so stupid. 221 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:31,330 What if I spill on her or accidentally brush my boob against her hand? 222 00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:33,657 I mean her hand against my boob. 223 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:35,492 Dude, stay cool. You got this. 224 00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,736 I'm gonna be at the bar the whole time. If you start to panic, just come get me. 225 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,914 Shh. There she is. 226 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:42,332 [ Nervous giggle] What was that? 227 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:43,977 I don't know. I've never heard it before. 228 00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:45,878 Try not to let that happen again. 229 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:47,504 Hi, Luke. Pretty good. 230 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:51,508 I mean, hi, Simone. Uh, this is my dad. Dad, this is Luke. 231 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,177 [Laughs] You're funny. 232 00:09:53,302 --> 00:09:56,388 Looking. [ Laughs ] [ Lowered voice ] Clutch. 233 00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,056 What are you still doing here? 234 00:09:59,141 --> 00:10:00,581 [ Exhales] What the hell got into me? 235 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,102 Besides the bartender's tongue? 236 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:04,605 Yes. Yes, well, that was a little inappropriate. 237 00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,983 But let's not overreact. It's perfectly natural to have a panic attack... 238 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,068 Before making a big life decision. 239 00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:11,612 What if it's the wrong decision? 240 00:10:11,695 --> 00:10:14,907 What if Tony's not the guy? What if he's the guy? 241 00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,784 Or him? He is cute. When did he come in? 242 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:18,660 Okay. You need to focus, sal. 243 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:21,330 You are about to make a sacred, lifelong commitment. 244 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:23,874 [Screams] You are not making this better! 245 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,293 [ Phone chirps ] Oh, god, it's Tony. 246 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:29,379 [Sighs] I'm supposed to pick him up and drive him to the wedding? 247 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,549 Everybody shut up for a second! 248 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:33,884 [ Deep sigh ] 249 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,345 Okay, you know what? I'm gonna marry him. 250 00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:38,239 What's the worst that can happen? I get a divorce. 251 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,723 People do it all the time. 252 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,725 [ Chirps ] Oh, you're suffocating me! 253 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:44,311 It is not too late. You are not married yet. 254 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,396 [ Sighs ] You're right. 255 00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:51,610 Okay. No, that's good. Get it all out. [ Moaning ] 256 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,487 Here. Let me help you. Okay, mom? 257 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,989 Mom. Mom. Oh, my god. Mom. I think I got it. 258 00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:57,884 I've been lugging this thing around for 10 years. 259 00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,588 Okay. You sure you don't want us to stay... 260 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,870 And hear you play? Mmm, that's okay. 261 00:11:01,954 --> 00:11:04,715 Yeah, I agreed to dinner, not tickets to the electric light dorkestra. 262 00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:08,001 Don't be so mean to your sister. No, that's our band's name. 263 00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:10,796 So, you wanna go back to that vegan place? 264 00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:12,840 Ooh. Leather jacket. Can't take the hate. 265 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:14,383 Gabby! Haley! 266 00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:17,177 What are you doing here? I just stopped in for a bump of coffee... 267 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:19,381 Before I meet up with Zoe and those guys at noodlecat. 268 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,390 Do you wanna go? So what's— what's noodlecat? 269 00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,033 Oh, it's this really cool Asian place... 270 00:11:23,100 --> 00:11:25,119 That sells, like, a million different kinds of noodles. 271 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,603 And hopefully, no cat. 272 00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,981 Well, that sounds cool. So you don't mind if I go? 273 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:31,525 Oh, I kind of thought we had plans. 274 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:35,153 Oh, yeah. You're right. So I can meet you guys there after. 275 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:37,948 How long are you gonna be there? No, it's fine. It's fine. Go. 276 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:40,701 I'll stay and watch Alex. Oh, now I feel bad. 277 00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:41,869 Mmm. 278 00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:44,621 Love you! Mwah. Okay. 279 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,168 [ Tm' whistle blows ] [ Crowd cheering] 280 00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:51,336 Excuse me. 281 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:52,963 Mm-hmm. You're Luke's dad, aren't you? 282 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,965 I'm Valerie, Simone's mom. 283 00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:56,592 Oh. Phil. Hi. 284 00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:58,945 I recognized you from when you hosted the school's talent night. 285 00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:01,013 You were incredibly limber. 286 00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:03,473 Ah, when you wear the right pants. Please, sit down. 287 00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:05,267 Yeah. Thank you. 288 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,770 So, how is the big date going? I don't know. 289 00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:11,398 Simone was so nervous. When they were chatting on the computer, 290 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:12,983 I had to write everything for her. 291 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,068 That's so funny. I did the same thing for Luke. 292 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,072 So the whole time, we were talking to each other? 293 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,489 Wait, does that make this our date? [ Both laugh ] 294 00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:23,201 Well, a good father, funny, handsome. 295 00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,078 A girl could do a lot worse. 296 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:27,623 [ Nervous giggle] 297 00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:30,667 You know what, Mitchell? Forgive me if my Missouri is showing, 298 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,294 but what she is doing is not marriage. 299 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,772 It's a mockery of marriage. It's mockerage. And I'm gonna stop it. 300 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,256 No. No, you're not. 301 00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:38,151 I can't help but think you're infusing the situation... 302 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:39,843 With just a touch of your own frustration. 303 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,113 Why, because we've built a life together for the last 10 years? 304 00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,931 Because we're raising a child? 305 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,992 Or because I was the first person to think of doing... 306 00:12:46,016 --> 00:12:48,453 An elaborately choreographed dance at our wedding, and now it's been done to death? 307 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:50,938 If it makes you feel any better, I was never gonna do that. 308 00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:53,357 But... I get it. Well, you know what? 309 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,252 She can't get married if the best man doesn't hand over the wedding ring. 310 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,653 You wouldn't. Yes, I would. 311 00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:00,138 Where is it? Give it to me. Give me the ring. Stop it. Stop. 312 00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:02,491 You have to give me— Well, this is a mystery solved. 313 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,576 [Singsong ] Thank you! 314 00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:06,912 [ Squeals ] Okay. Let's go do this. 315 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,455 Okay. 316 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,165 [ Sal ] How hot does Tony look? 317 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,876 On a scale of one to bartender? Reel it in, cam. 318 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,212 [Beeps] I think this is broken. 319 00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,982 We're gonna have to find another spot. No, we'll be late for the movie. 320 00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:21,051 You sure you're doing it right? We both know I know how to use a credit card. 321 00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:24,596 I'll put a note on the meter. Let me get a piece of paper. Maybe this is a bad sign. 322 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:26,807 Maybe I'm not supposed to be in the movie theater. 323 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,642 I'm supposed to be at home with my baby. 324 00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:31,311 Honey, we know that daliya knows how to take care of Joe. 325 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:34,147 And what about Manny? He's supposed to run his own bath? 326 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,875 You know, considering what's been going on with him, 327 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,939 it might be good for you to give him a little space. 328 00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,320 I mean, this was his idea. What was? 329 00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:43,949 That we go out tonight so that we could get some alone time. 330 00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,742 Oh, that's sweet. 331 00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,411 Uh-oh. What? 332 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,097 We gotta get home. Look. Manny's notebook. 333 00:13:49,121 --> 00:13:50,723 More drawings and a poem— “ode to daliya.” 334 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:53,166 So those were not my boobs? They were daliya's boobs? 335 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:54,936 Yep. This is not a nude descending a staircase. 336 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,879 This is a nude vacuuming a staircase. [ Gasps ] 337 00:13:57,963 --> 00:14:02,175 Okay, Manny. Joe's asleep. What do you want for dinner? 338 00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,678 Actually, already taken care of. 339 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,514 Gr [ Speakers: Jazz piano ] 340 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,141 [ Chuckles ] 341 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:15,731 - [ Chattering ] - 1'} [ Instruments tuning ] 342 00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:18,400 You shouldn't play with your food. What are you doing here? 343 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,903 I knew you were upset I left, and I felt bad, so I came back. 344 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,656 You're here out of guilt? I know. I'm growing up. 345 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:29,327 Why are you rolling your eyes at me? I'm doing a nice thing. 346 00:14:29,411 --> 00:14:31,705 Because I want you to be here because you want to be here. 347 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,391 Okay, you're being really needy right now. 348 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,268 [Whispers] Oh, my god. Are you going through the change? 349 00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:38,587 Stop asking me that every time I express an emotion. 350 00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:42,132 And no, I am not. It's just so damn hot in here. 351 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,510 I'm disappointed. That's all. I... 352 00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:48,388 When you were little, we used to do everything together. 353 00:14:48,472 --> 00:14:51,558 And I thought maybe you were coming back around... 354 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,685 And we could be friends again. 355 00:14:53,769 --> 00:14:55,729 I just miss being part of my daughter's life. 356 00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:57,999 [ Boy] Hey, everybody. Thanks for coming. 3: [ Strumming guitar] 357 00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,524 [Scattered applause, exclaiming ] 358 00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:02,778 [ Drum count-off] N [ P0p] 359 00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:10,702 J' oh, whoa j' 360 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:14,539 I thought this was supposed to be some sort of classical thing. Me too. 361 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:17,417 [ Harmonizing ] J' oh, whoa j' j' oh, whoa j' 362 00:15:17,501 --> 00:15:20,879 [ together] J' oh-oh-oh-oh, oh j' 363 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,506 she sings? 364 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,633 I don't even know who that is. 365 00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:28,178 J' oh-oh-oh-oh, oh 3; 366 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,099 [ both laughing ] 367 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:35,060 Oh, my god, Phil. You are hilarious. 368 00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,771 Yep. That's how I got my wife of 20 years. 369 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,564 [Chuckles] Could we get the check, please? 370 00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,108 Oh, no, I got this. 371 00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:44,152 Ooh, funny and generous. 372 00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:47,405 If my husband were more like you, maybe I'd still be married. 373 00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:51,493 Well, if my wife were here, she'd want me to be clear that I'm fully committed to her. 374 00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,411 You know that, right? What? 375 00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:57,332 I just wanna make sure, because you unbuttoned a button, and I love my wife, so... 376 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,960 You were the one who was flirting and saying we're on a date. 377 00:16:00,043 --> 00:16:02,796 That was a joke, but I'm sorry if! Misled you at all. 378 00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:05,632 Thank you. But there was a lot of touching. 379 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,151 I touched your shoulder for a second. 380 00:16:07,175 --> 00:16:08,694 No, it was more of a stroke, like this. 381 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:09,970 [Glass shatters] 382 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:13,557 Okay. I'm so sorry for touching your hand with my boob. 383 00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:15,976 I mean, my boob with your hand. Is this your little game? 384 00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:20,021 You cop a feel on a sad divorcee and then pretend I'm the one coming on to you? 385 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,773 How does that feel? Oh. Weird. 386 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,942 You like it? Yeah? No. Uh-uh. 387 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:26,027 A little bit of that? Yeah. No. Little bit of— no. 388 00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:28,280 No. No. You probably like this, don't you? Yeah. 389 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,615 Oh, stop it. Your daughter's right over there. 390 00:16:30,699 --> 00:16:32,284 My minivan is right outside. 391 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,578 That is not what I meant. 392 00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:37,164 This pizza is delicious. 393 00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:40,417 I like it too. We have so much in common. 394 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,294 Have you seen the back of your menu? 395 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:50,093 “With silken hair and supple olive skin... 396 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:53,263 And hands that wash the laundry of my kin.” 397 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:56,266 - Oh, Manny. - You still have 12 lines to go. 398 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,144 Spoiler alert: I love you. 399 00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,688 [I Jay] Okay, back away from the nanny. 400 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:05,442 Oh, my god. It looks like a Madonna video in here! 401 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,587 - Why aren't you at the movies? - We need to talk right now. 402 00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:10,051 What have you done to my son? [ Manny] She didn't do anything. 403 00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:11,841 Why do you have to embarrass me? Embarrass you? 404 00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:14,927 Maybe if you didn't fall in love with everybody you looked at— [all shouting 1 405 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,370 stop this! You're going to wake the baby. [Shouting stops] 406 00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:21,249 Now, Manny and I are having a private discussion. So please, give us a minute. 407 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,252 I'll give you your minute right this minu— mmm. Gloria. Gloria. 408 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,215 Go ahead, Manny. 409 00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:31,092 I'm not saying we need to do anything right away. 410 00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:35,597 - I'm just asking you to wait a few years. - You are so sweet. 411 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:38,683 Whoever ends up with you is the luckiest woman in the world. 412 00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:40,310 That could be you. 413 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:44,564 No. I am unlucky, because I was born too soon. 414 00:17:44,648 --> 00:17:47,359 And I can't have you wait around. Poets have to live. 415 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:50,111 Besides, in a few years, you'll feel differently. 416 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:53,198 You're wrong. I'll feel this way for the rest of my life. 417 00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:54,741 Manny, wait. 418 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,952 A y, Manny, pap/to /indo— Leave me alone! 419 00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:00,538 Sorry about that. 420 00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,666 Don't be. It's the sweetest offer I've ever gotten. 421 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:05,627 I am so sorry that I screamed at you. 422 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,629 It was so nice what you told him in there. 423 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,423 - [ Door slams ] - [Joe crying ] 424 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:12,801 - I take Manny, you take the little one? - Okay. 425 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:15,428 He probably just wants you— She knows what to do, Jay. 426 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:16,888 [Whispers ] Come on. 427 00:18:16,972 --> 00:18:18,640 [Crying continues] 428 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:22,560 Tiramisu. I love his tiramisu. 429 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:25,438 Marriage is a promise. 430 00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:28,900 It says to the world that you share a love and a commitment to each other... 431 00:18:28,984 --> 00:18:32,153 That will only grow deeper as the years go by. 432 00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:34,739 Now, have you two written vows? Yeah, I'll go. 433 00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:37,409 Marriage terrifies me. 434 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:38,952 Take Mitch and cam. 435 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,037 I used to think their life looked so boring. 436 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:44,374 I could never do it. Pay bills? Wash dishes? 437 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,668 Wake up to the same face every day? [ Grunts ] 438 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,878 - I felt sorry for them. - Where is this headed? 439 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:51,047 But they're not bored. 440 00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,341 It turns out when you're with the right person, 441 00:18:53,425 --> 00:18:56,761 you can change shelf paper at 10:00 at night in your pajamas... 442 00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,638 And not wanna be anywhere else. 443 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:02,225 - That's how much they love each other. - [Voice breaks ] We sure do. 444 00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:06,313 And when I just saw your face, I remembered... 445 00:19:06,396 --> 00:19:07,915 [Voice breaking ] That's how much I love you. 446 00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:09,691 Thanks for being here. 447 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,193 I crying I we wouldn't be anywhere else, sal. 448 00:19:12,277 --> 00:19:13,778 And do you have anything prepared? 449 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:16,740 Hit me, baby. 450 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:18,325 I made out with a stripper last night. 451 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:20,243 Sorry. I just wanna start this clean. 452 00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:24,372 I made out with a bartender... An hour ago. 453 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:27,751 You're not just saying that to make me feel better? Back me up. Didn't I? 454 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,252 - She totally did. - I totally did! 455 00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,896 - He was hot too. - He was very good-looking. 456 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,130 Nice. 457 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:34,674 Well. That was different. Who's got the ring? 458 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:37,093 I do. [Sobs] Hand 'em over. 459 00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:40,180 - 3; [ Ends] - [Applause, cheering ] 460 00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:41,848 - That's cool. - Thank you guys so much. 461 00:19:41,973 --> 00:19:46,186 Alex, honey! Amazing! Why didn't you tell us? Oh, I don't know. 462 00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,313 That was so good. If I didn't know you, 463 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:50,774 I'd be all, like, “that chick is cool.” mm-hmm. 464 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:55,987 Hey, guys, hi. I'm Alex's mom. You were terrific. 465 00:19:56,071 --> 00:19:57,739 Hey, and I'm her sister. 466 00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,367 We're gonna go get some dinner. Do you wanna come with us? 467 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,619 You can bring your friends from the band. 468 00:20:02,744 --> 00:20:05,931 No, thanks. We're actually going out, and I have a ride home, so see you guys later. 469 00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,457 Okay. 470 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,334 Oh, my god. Sorry about that. 471 00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:12,420 Did she just apologize for us? 472 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:16,091 But we were just being nice. Sucks, doesn't it? 473 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,554 Luke, I'm sorry Simone's mom dragged her away so fast. 474 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,890 It's okay. I was running out of things to say. 475 00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:26,559 - I guess I kind of blew it for you, didn't I? - No. 476 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,062 Now that her mom doesn't want her going out with me anymore, 477 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,064 Simone wants me more than ever. 478 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,066 I guess she's heading into a rebellious stage. 479 00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,734 - Best time to get 'em. - [ Chuckles ] 480 00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:37,171 Never be afraid to go after a girl who's out of your league. 481 00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:38,822 I did. That's how I got your mom. 482 00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,467 Yeah. I always wondered how you pulled that one off. [ Chuckles ] 483 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:44,285 She was in a rebellious stage too. 484 00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:47,163 Yep, grandpa wasn't always as crazy about me as he is now. 485 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,463 I'm gonna go pop the champagne and get some glasses. 486 00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:57,090 Ru help. Yay! 487 00:20:57,215 --> 00:20:59,342 [Singsong ] I'm gonna get cranium. [ Sal squeals ] 488 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:04,222 Hey. [Clears throat] Hey. 489 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,851 Sorry you couldn't come to the wedding. It was “no kids.” 490 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,645 It's okay. I'll go to your next one. 491 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:13,565 [Laughs] Wow. 492 00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:16,317 She just means when she's not a kid anymore. 493 00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:17,944 She knows what I mean. 494 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,863 [Whispers ] I don't like you. 495 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:21,906 [Whispers ] I'll get over it.