1 00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:04,505 We got some bad news yesterday. 2 00:00:04,589 --> 00:00:06,048 Phil's morn died. 3 00:00:06,132 --> 00:00:08,926 It wasn't unexpected, he was with her... 4 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:11,053 And she went very peacefully in her sleep. 5 00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:13,139 She and I had a special connection. 6 00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:15,641 We all did. But mostly me. 7 00:00:15,725 --> 00:00:17,185 She said I was just like her. 8 00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:19,061 Was she weirdly competitive too? 9 00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:21,689 The whole family is going down to Florida tomorrow... 10 00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:23,524 To be with Phil for the service. 11 00:00:23,608 --> 00:00:25,109 Such a relief. 12 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:27,445 I can feel how much he needs me right now. 13 00:00:29,113 --> 00:00:31,032 There they are. 14 00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:32,825 Hey, guys. Oh! 15 00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:35,077 Oh, you brought my neck pillow. 16 00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:37,455 I missed you so much. 17 00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:39,540 I'm really sorry, Phil. 18 00:00:39,624 --> 00:00:42,835 I only met your mom once. She sat next to me at Thanksgiving. 19 00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:46,339 And she never said a word about Claire's lumpy gravy. All class. 20 00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:48,591 That was mom. Mm-hmm. 21 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,676 Phil, I'm so sorry. 22 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:51,886 Thanks. 23 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,305 Grace was such a kind and whimsical soul. 24 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:58,351 The different animals she put antlers on for Christmas cards— inspired. 25 00:00:58,476 --> 00:01:01,062 Not a single one was photoshopped. Not even the alligator? 26 00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:03,481 Cost her the tip of her pinkie, but she had no regrets. 27 00:01:03,606 --> 00:01:05,650 I'm so glad you guys are here. 28 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,818 I hope it wasn't too hard to get away from work. 29 00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,820 No. Please. Anything for family. 30 00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,572 Anything to get me out of that office. 31 00:01:11,656 --> 00:01:14,909 Oh! It's all boring papennork and endless meetings. 32 00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,953 Honestly, this funeral could not have come at a better time. 33 00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:21,082 Oh, that's sweet. You should put that on the flowers. 34 00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:23,125 Hey, Phil. 35 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:26,337 Hey, guys. Gloria, you must be so hot in that. 36 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,507 I am in mourning. In Colombia, we take death may seriously. 37 00:01:30,299 --> 00:01:31,902 - Where don't they? - Can we lose the veil? 38 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:35,137 - Nobody's looking for you, Gloria. - Who is Gloria? 39 00:01:35,221 --> 00:01:37,098 I am a wanted woman in Florida. 40 00:01:37,181 --> 00:01:39,517 I used to live there, and when I left, 41 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,938 my roommate made our apartment into a house of prostitution, 42 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,148 and my name was still on the lease. 43 00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:49,777 Like a traffic ticket. You walk into court, pay a fine, it's done. Quick and easy. 44 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,655 Yes, that was the name of the whorehouse. 45 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:54,258 Mitchell, can you go with her to court? 46 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,450 She's gonna need some sort of lawyer. 47 00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:58,387 You know, Jay, Mitchell is so burnt out right now. 48 00:01:58,411 --> 00:02:00,079 He is in desperate need of a break. 49 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,890 Bench warrants are a no-brainer. And come on. 50 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:04,792 Does Gloria really look like the kind of woman who would run a brothel? 51 00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:09,422 I better go with her. Yeah. You should go. Mm-hmm. 52 00:02:10,256 --> 00:02:12,174 Y hey, heyy 53 00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:14,343 y hey, heyy 54 00:02:14,427 --> 00:02:16,429 y hey, heyy 55 00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,264 y hey, heyy 56 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,724 j hey jv 57 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,938 there they are! 58 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,375 Oh, you look beautiful. Hiya, kids. How are you holding on, hmm? 59 00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:30,544 Oh, well, you know. We're getting through it. Huh, dad? 60 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:33,362 Ah. I'm doing okay. A little trouble sleeping. 61 00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:36,286 I'm so used to her snoring, I may have to borrow the neighbor's bulldog. 62 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:39,344 So how was the trip, kids? Awesome. 63 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:42,371 On the way from the airport, I saw three fireworks stands... 64 00:02:42,455 --> 00:02:44,498 And a motorcycle rider wearing no helmet. 65 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,792 It's good to be back in america. 66 00:02:47,877 --> 00:02:51,547 Morning, Charlotte. This is my family from California. 67 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:54,633 I can tell. They all look like movie stars. 68 00:02:54,759 --> 00:02:56,051 Oh, thank you. 69 00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:58,804 It's nuts. I know that woman, but I have no idea from where. 70 00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:01,015 Yeah. This place is full of stories like that. 71 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:04,477 Good morning, Mr. Dunphy, visitors. 72 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,270 Please, shelley, call me frank. No, sir. 73 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,606 That might be the way they do things at whistling pines, 74 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,608 but we run a tight ship here at leisure park. 75 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,443 As per your request, I have reserved... 76 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,862 The lakeside promenade this evening for one hour, 77 00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,864 beginning at 5:00 pm, for your memorial service. 78 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:19,050 May I remind you that there's no smoking on the grounds, 79 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,868 no glass near the lake, no feeding the ducks. 80 00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:22,953 And I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you. 81 00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:25,915 - No feeding the ducks. - What are you looking at me for? 82 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:35,424 I love it here... 83 00:03:35,508 --> 00:03:38,219 Manicured lawns, planned activities, early dinners. 84 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:39,804 What more does a kid need? 85 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:41,531 Oh, yeah. And everyone's so polite and considerate. 86 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,724 Nothing like the constant catfights in my circle, 87 00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:47,269 where every week, somebody's mad at somebody for god knows who/what, 88 00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,122 and I'm always thrown into the middle. 89 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,148 You seem tense. You know they have a steam room? 90 00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:53,193 Wanna join me for a shv/iz? Please, it's Florida. 91 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:56,487 If I wanna sweat more, I'll just move my arms. You go have fun. 92 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,281 Hey, you. Are you liking that book? 93 00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:01,951 It's not the worst thing I've picked up at an airport, but close. 94 00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,577 [All laugh 1 what is this, 95 00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,371 a book club or a miss america pageant? 96 00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:08,624 We're looking for our next book. 97 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:11,669 - Oh, what are you reading now? - Tempted by her /nnocenf kiss. 98 00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:13,546 I-I'm sure you don't know it. Oh, please. 99 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:15,589 Devon Carter was Ashley's first. 100 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:17,341 She wants their passion to last, 101 00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,176 but her hopes of true love are crushed... 102 00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:22,461 When she finds out their marriage is just another one of daddy's business deals. 103 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,599 - I'm gay. - Oh! My grandson is gay. 104 00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:28,602 His name is Daniel schulman. Uh, do you know him? 105 00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:31,063 Oh! Is he about this tall, dark hair, circumcised? 106 00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:34,567 You're terrible. 107 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,235 All right, ladies. All right. 108 00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:39,488 You think we have room at our table for a handsome young man? 109 00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:41,716 Well, let me know when he gets here, and maybe I'll come back. 110 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:45,536 Terrible little boy. 111 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,663 Don't be nervous, all right? 112 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:50,016 I'll explain your situation. I'll have you out of here in no time. 113 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:52,167 Okay, I've heard enough. 114 00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:55,045 The a.C.'S busted, and I'm in this giant black snuggie. 115 00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:57,006 $500 fine. 116 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,677 - Keep the change. - Keep the watch. 117 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,846 Thirty days in county jail. 118 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,764 What? 119 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,350 Ooh, she's tough. Next 120 00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:11,103 Anita menchaca. Petty theft. 121 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,024 Mister, you're a lawyer? Help me, please. 122 00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,692 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm her lawyer. 123 00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:19,111 No, no, help her, so this will go faster. 124 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,089 She reminds me of my abue/a, 125 00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:25,326 with her head scarf and her petty theft charges. Okay. 126 00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:28,388 Here, your honor. I'm Mitchell pritchett, attorney to Ms. Manchego. 127 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,164 Menchaca. Uh, yeah. 128 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,541 - Are you ready to enter a plea? - Absqutely. 129 00:05:32,625 --> 00:05:36,128 I see no reason why this matter should take up any more of the court's valuable time. 130 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:38,547 - Not guilty, your honor. - Why? 131 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,343 Gonna need a minute. 132 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,474 Look what my dad just gave me. 133 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,893 Please tell me that's not your mom. 134 00:05:50,976 --> 00:05:52,936 No, no. She picked out her own urn. 135 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,700 My dad keeps saying it's a size too small, but she squeezed into it. 136 00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:57,232 Oh. 137 00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,193 No, this is stuff she left for the kids. 138 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,654 Oh, that is sweet. 139 00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,447 Well, uh, should we take a look? 140 00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:06,158 I guess so. Okay. 141 00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:09,244 Wow. There's a note for you. 142 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,248 Really? She must have written it before she died. 143 00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:13,666 Let's hope so. Would you, please? 144 00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,543 Yeah. 145 00:06:18,087 --> 00:06:20,381 Oh, boy. “Dear Phil, 146 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:22,925 you've always been the most wonderful son, 147 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:25,260 and now I need you to do one last thing for me.” 148 00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:28,472 Oh, no! She's gonna ask me to throw her ashes in the pope's face. 149 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,810 “Don't say anything to your father, because he'll just resist, 150 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,812 but there's a woman named Annie Fitzsimmons... 151 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,730 Who lives a few streets over. 152 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,233 We don't know her very well, but I've always admired her, 153 00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,735 and I think she'd be perfect for your dad. 154 00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:44,530 So before you go home, I want you to fix him up with her.” 155 00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,949 That is crazy! “I know this sounds crazy, 156 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,118 but single men are in short supply here, 157 00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:50,929 and a lot of scheming harpies will swoop in... 158 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:52,705 Before your father knows what hit him. 159 00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:55,582 I love frank, but he'll follow anything with a casserole.” 160 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,209 I don't believe this. 161 00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:59,132 It's too soon, and my dad's not a cartoon bear. 162 00:06:59,211 --> 00:07:02,172 He's perfectly capable of making intelligent decisions. 163 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,966 Hey, guys? I made cookies. 164 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:06,135 Oh, good. I thought that was a neighbor. 165 00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:13,600 Hey, kids, your grandma left each of you something. 166 00:07:13,684 --> 00:07:15,519 Cool! Rockports! 167 00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:18,147 - It's just the box. - Uh-huh. 168 00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,982 Oh, my god. There's a letter. 169 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,567 I don't know if I'm ready for this. 170 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,753 Although if grandma wrote it, she must have sensed I was ready. 171 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,405 Because you had such a bond? You felt it too? 172 00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,049 Haley, why don't you tell us what yours says? 173 00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:31,243 Well, it's so sweet. It's about how beautiful I am inside and... 174 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,454 Score! Jewelry. 175 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:35,417 Whoa! Check it out. Well, look at that. 176 00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,058 Your grandma loved pocket watches. 177 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:39,251 Oh. She said they made a man look dignified. 178 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:40,836 Is this chain in case you swallow it? 179 00:07:40,919 --> 00:07:42,796 No, but suddenly I'm glad it's there. 180 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,965 - A lighter. - Huh. What does the note say? 181 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,927 “This is a lighter.” 182 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,721 I don't understand. 183 00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:52,639 How much clearer could she have been? 184 00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:54,224 I wouldn't read too much into it. 185 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,768 Your grandma loved you very much. 186 00:07:55,851 --> 00:07:58,979 She just did a couple of bizarre things towards the end. 187 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,231 Here, Alex, I can help you out with that. 188 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,484 You are getting very sleepy. 189 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:06,737 A crappy old lighter is not a sucky gift. 190 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,615 Honey, honey. Hey. So you're not gonna do what your mom asked? 191 00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:12,576 Marry off my dad to a complete stranger on the day of her funeral? 192 00:08:12,701 --> 00:08:14,787 I think not. It was her last wish. 193 00:08:14,870 --> 00:08:17,247 When my dad is ready, he gets to pick his own girlfriend. 194 00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,124 That's the big upside to your wife dying. 195 00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:22,461 Also, not having to think before you speak. 196 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,921 Yeah. 197 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,590 Your honor, it all boils down to this: 198 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,592 The motel owes Ms. Menchengo... 199 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,469 Menchaca. Damn it. Every time. 200 00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:35,098 More in wages than she ever could've taken in soaps and tiny shampoos. 201 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,809 Fine. Case dismissed. 202 00:08:38,811 --> 00:08:40,938 Jgrac/as/, '/I//uchas grac/as/ de nada. De nada. 203 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,981 Mac/733 grac/as. Did you see that? 204 00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:44,775 I won. I can't believe it. 205 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,569 Yeah. It scares me that winning is such a surprise for you. 206 00:08:47,653 --> 00:08:51,532 Next. Matthew plonsker. Parking violations. 207 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:54,660 I thought I'd be a little rusty, but apparently not. 208 00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,871 Oh! Really? Sweet. 209 00:08:57,955 --> 00:08:59,998 Yes! Go make your mistakes with him. 210 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,501 I don't want to go to jail for prostitution. 211 00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,586 [ Sighs 1 212 00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,755 like you could afford me. 213 00:09:06,839 --> 00:09:08,479 It seems to me it wasn't only the meter... 214 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:11,093 That was broken that fateful afternoon. 215 00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:15,722 It was the entire criminal justice system. 216 00:09:15,806 --> 00:09:17,516 Therefore I submit to you... 217 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:20,060 The only influence my client was under that night... 218 00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,104 Was his love of boating. 219 00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:25,607 Shame! 220 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,255 I just don't get it. Why would she give me a lighter? 221 00:09:30,279 --> 00:09:32,531 Maybe she wants you to burn all your clothes. 222 00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:35,325 Is it possible we didn't have the connection I thought we did? 223 00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,369 I don't know. You heard dad. 224 00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:40,122 She was on all that medication towards the end. 225 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,165 People do weird things when they're on drugs. 226 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,459 When Dylan was on Vicodin after his root canal, 227 00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:47,921 he bought the complete DVD set of Dr. Quinn, med/cine woman. 228 00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,778 Get going, ladies. The pool's for residents only. 229 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:57,014 Okay. Sorry. We'll leave. No, we won't. There's nobody here. 230 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,349 - Haley! - Why can't we use the pool? 231 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:00,893 Because those are the rules. 232 00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,561 Are we gonna have a problem here? 233 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,606 You don't scare me. I've been in fee/jail. 234 00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:07,983 Oh, you two are pretty smart, aren't you? 235 00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,651 No. Only she is. 236 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:16,575 North. Flowers. 237 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,744 Red. 238 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,454 One dot. 239 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,539 Two bam. 240 00:10:22,623 --> 00:10:24,666 I have mahj! 241 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,543 Hee, hee! Agam? 242 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:28,420 Wow, you're really on some streak, Edith. 243 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,464 Luck of the tiles. 244 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,049 Anyone else want some punch? 245 00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:34,509 Yeah. I'll join you. 246 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,807 You are very good. 247 00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:42,935 Where'd a farm boy like you learn to play mah-jongg? 248 00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:44,603 Oh, well, one summer, 249 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,486 I worked at the central Missouri b'Nai b'rith. 250 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,565 It's the nation's smallest chapter. 251 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:50,108 Listen, Marilyn, 252 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:52,486 I don't mean to stir things up, 253 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:56,365 but I just saw Edith take the winning tile out of her jacket pocket. 254 00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,075 I knew it! 255 00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,035 Nobody's that good. 256 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,997 Do you have any idea how much money I have lost to her in the past year? Gotta be $10, $12. 257 00:11:04,081 --> 00:11:05,540 Listen, I'm as shocked as you are. 258 00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:07,084 It just doesn't seem like Edith. 259 00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,754 Yeah, well, goes to show, you think you know someone... 260 00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:19,388 Hey. What happened to all the cookies? 261 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,807 Oh, well— you know, I hate to stir things up... 262 00:11:25,477 --> 00:11:27,229 - Excuse me. - Yes? 263 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,940 Jay pritchett. Frank Dunphy's son is married to my daughter. 264 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:32,734 Oh, I'm so sorry. Aw, he grows on you. 265 00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:35,153 Oh, you're talking about the death. Thank you. 266 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:38,990 You look very familiar to me. Did you ever live in Ohio? 267 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,035 No. I'm from pensacola. 268 00:11:42,119 --> 00:11:46,707 And then it hit me. I had done my basic training in pensacola. 269 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,750 She was my first. 270 00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,627 I'll never forget her— Charlotte somebody. 271 00:11:50,711 --> 00:11:53,338 I was 18 and she was 31, 272 00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:55,590 and we fell pretty hard for each other. 273 00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:58,635 I always felt bad I never called her when I got back from Vietnam. 274 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:01,638 Especially because by then I had, you know, 275 00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,849 learned a few things. 276 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:07,436 You'll have to forgive me. My memory isn't what it used to be. 277 00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:09,771 Was I your teacher? In a way. 278 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:12,983 I was in the Navy. Jay pritchett. 279 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,777 Little more up here, little less down here. 280 00:12:15,861 --> 00:12:17,446 I'm sure you're a very nice man, 281 00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:20,866 but I— I think you may have mistaken me for someone else. 282 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,710 I was shipping off to Vietnam. You had the ass of a young Ann-Margret. 283 00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:25,537 Yeah, that was me. 284 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,914 So the watch goes in your pocket like so. 285 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:31,918 And the chain, or fob, attaches to a belt loop, and voila. 286 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,379 You just said fob and voila in the same sentence. 287 00:12:34,463 --> 00:12:35,964 Pace yourself. 288 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,925 Grandma looks so happy in this picture. 289 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:40,677 Yeah. We were pretty hammered. 290 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:44,389 That was last fourth of july— Grandma's favorite holiday. 291 00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,725 The plimptons had a barbecue, 292 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:49,561 and gram and I got a little tipsy on ginger margaritas. 293 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:51,146 We came home for a catnap... 294 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,774 And slept right through the big fireworks show. 295 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:55,609 First one she ever missed. 296 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,694 Boy, was she mad. 297 00:12:57,778 --> 00:13:00,530 I made it up to her with a little fireworks show of our own later. 298 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:04,951 Grandpa! A couple of glow sticks and a slingshot in the backyard. 299 00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:09,706 Which led to some pretty memorable lovemaking. 300 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,918 Not to change the subject, 301 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,170 but I don't really get the gift grandma left me. 302 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,005 Well, didn't she explain it in the note? 303 00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:19,591 No. The note's four words. 304 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:23,804 You know it opens, right? Itdoes? 305 00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:27,933 Sure. Look, it's Florida. Everything sticks together. 306 00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,188 This is all so weird. 307 00:13:33,271 --> 00:13:36,441 This thing you dread in the back of your mind suddenly becomes real. 308 00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,235 I know. 309 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,820 I feel better having you here though. 310 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:42,197 Oh, I'm always here for you. 311 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,158 Look at that house. That is a cute house. 312 00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:46,993 I wonder who lives there. 313 00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:49,371 I don't know. Huh. 314 00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:51,998 - Claire, what are you doing? - I love this house. 315 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:54,310 I bet you anything I would love whoever lives here. 316 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,813 Wait a minute. That lady from my mom's letter lives here, doesn't she? 317 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,172 Annie Fitzsimmons. Phil, listen to me. 318 00:13:59,256 --> 00:14:01,508 You may have your reasons for not wanting to do this, 319 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:03,885 but your mother was a very wise woman. 320 00:14:03,969 --> 00:14:06,346 She believed that whoever is behind that door... 321 00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:09,015 Would make your father happy for the rest of his life. 322 00:14:10,976 --> 00:14:12,561 Yeah. What can I do for you? 323 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,145 She's perfect. 324 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,022 I thought Annie Fitzsimmons lived here. 325 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,899 She does. Annie, honey. 326 00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:19,860 There's people here to see ya. 327 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,778 Who is it? Who are you? 328 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,822 Yes, Claire, who are we? 329 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,660 - Can I help you? - We're selling vacuum cleaners. 330 00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:31,037 - Wow. That is strange. - I know. 331 00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:33,498 Because just this morning, my vacuum cleaner broke. 332 00:14:33,582 --> 00:14:36,084 - Huh. - That's on me. I shed like a collie. 333 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,586 Let's see what you got. 334 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,213 Yes, Claire, let's see what you got. I didn't bring it. 335 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,798 You didn't bring it? No. 336 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,883 You had it when we left the vacuum cleaner office. 337 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,721 I guess it's fair to say you've made a huge mistake. Mm-hmm. 338 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,056 No. Say it. 339 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:52,410 I'm sorry to do that. It's part of the training. 340 00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,269 I've made a huge mistake. 341 00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,231 I don't think she's gonna work out. 342 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,446 That's mahj again! 343 00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:05,989 Oh! Well, shocker. 344 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,116 That's it. You're cheating. I am not. 345 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:12,037 Oh, please! You've stashed more tiles than Marilyn has cookies. 346 00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:14,289 Oh! O-Okay. Let's just take a breath. 347 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:18,001 Who cares about tiles or cookies or whatever Hattie's slipping into her coffee? 348 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,378 I knew you were drinking again. 349 00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,714 That's how she lost her license. You shut your traps. 350 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:23,798 Drop dead. Screw you. 351 00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:24,924 Yeah, you too! Ladies. 352 00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:26,008 And you! Ladies. 353 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,844 Stop it! You— stop it. 354 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,429 You have been friends for 20 years. 355 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:33,183 What on earth has gotten into you all? 356 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:36,728 Why does drama keep following me everywhere I go? 357 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,022 It just keeps popping up out of nowhere. 358 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:41,733 Like crispin's hair plugs. 359 00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:45,403 And so we went to your apartment. It's still embarrassing. 360 00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,530 I told you I had never been with a woman. 361 00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:50,950 And you took me by the hand and you led me into the bedroom. 362 00:15:51,034 --> 00:15:52,952 You were so sweet and beautiful. 363 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,704 I thought I'd gone to heaven. 364 00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:58,375 Jay pritchett. Yes. Yes! 365 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,085 I remember that. 366 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,713 Oh, it was a perfect night. It was! 367 00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:05,465 And the next day I went to Vietnam. 368 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:08,093 But the memory of our night together kept me going. 369 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:11,012 Because I wasn't a boy anymore. 370 00:16:11,096 --> 00:16:12,347 I was a man. 371 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,684 You were so handsome. Ohh! I don't know about that. 372 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,894 Cute, maybe. People talk about my eyes. 373 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:22,649 But I always regretted not getting in touch with you when I got back, 374 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:25,360 because you had given me something that I cherished... 375 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,278 For almost 50 years. 376 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,239 You gave me something too. 377 00:16:29,364 --> 00:16:32,117 I did? You wait right there. 378 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,329 I'm down there for a funeral— Such a sad event... 379 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:39,499 And I end up finding something that I thought was lost forever, 380 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:42,794 this beautiful moment that meant so much to both of us, 381 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,588 set against the backdrop of fighting commies. 382 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,507 There's your movie. 383 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,385 I've kept it all these years. 384 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:53,513 I remember exactly where I was when you gave it to me. 385 00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:55,932 You said, “wear this”... 386 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:59,394 No, no. This isn't mine. And I never went to Jefferson high. 387 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,147 Oh. My mistake. 388 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,399 Ah! Here it is. 389 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,402 You said, “pin this”— no, no. N-No. Never got a medal. 390 00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:08,987 And, uh, 391 00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:11,448 this is the wrong branch of service. 392 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,116 Of course. 393 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:15,994 These are the— never wrote. 394 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,789 Why don't you look through here? 395 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:24,085 Turns out she sent more men off to war than lyndon Johnson. 396 00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,606 While we're here, you wanna try to sell my dad a vacuum? 397 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,133 Tease me all you want. I am glad that we at least tried. 398 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:33,011 I know you mean well, but he's gonna be fine on his own. 399 00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:35,221 [ Laughing, chattering I it's true. 400 00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:38,391 - Here. Try mine, frank. - Ooh. I bet it's delicious. 401 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:41,478 - If your taste buds are dead. - Dead? Real sensitive, Myra. 402 00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,897 The woman's not even cold— Unlike your eggplant parm. 403 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,648 What is going on? 404 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,650 It's a feeding frenzy. They're all over him. 405 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,712 They're practically measuring the windows for new drapes. 406 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,989 It's disgusting. I must get this recipe, Myra. 407 00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:55,366 Oh, sure. You want the recipe? It's thaw, heat and serve. 408 00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:58,661 My mom was right. They're gonna eat him alive. 409 00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,372 Do you think we can break up Annie Fitzsimmons and her boyfriend? 410 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,374 Boyfriend? Oh, you mean Marv? 411 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,084 Oh, that's hilarious. No. 412 00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,295 Marv's her brother, visiting from pompano. 413 00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:09,815 He's here for the week. Slept with half the women in this place. 414 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,508 She's single? This is fantastic. 415 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,092 Cam, how do you know that? 416 00:18:13,176 --> 00:18:15,470 This place is lousy with gossips. 417 00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:19,474 - Next. Gloria delgado. - I'm here. 418 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:22,894 Conspiring to promote prostitution. How do you plead? 419 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,831 - Not guilty, your honor. - Oh, good. It's you. 420 00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,650 Your majesty, I didn't do anything wrong, 421 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,652 but I will say that I am guilty, 422 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,487 if I can just pay the fine and go home. 423 00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:33,905 No, you won't. 424 00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:37,158 All right, how about this? You plead guilty, and I'll waive the fine... 425 00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:39,244 If it will just get us the hell out of here. 426 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:42,080 - No deal. Not guilty. - Mitchell, stop. 427 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:43,974 She hates you, and she's gonna take it out on me. 428 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,792 You're innocent, and I can prove it. 429 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,710 Your honor, this document here shows... 430 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,672 That my client was a resident of California at the time, 431 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,257 and these canceled checks prove... 432 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:55,009 That she was legally subletting the apartment in question. 433 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:58,471 I might be a simple man, but I do know one thing... 434 00:18:58,555 --> 00:19:00,181 If a dog don't bark... 435 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,016 Okay, I can't listen to him anymore. 436 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,643 Case dismissed. 437 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:06,271 - Court adjourned. - Grac/as, Mitchell! 438 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:08,064 You're wonderful! 439 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,442 You know what? We got lucky, because I had no ending to that dog thing. 440 00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,903 Mmm. If you don't have anything to do next week, 441 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,823 maybe you can go with me to Texas. 442 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,286 Hello again. Oh, no. You're alone. 443 00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:23,288 Did you fire that nice girl? 444 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:25,373 No. She's not a nice girl. She's my wife. 445 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,876 And we don't sell vacuums. Thank god. You'd starve. 446 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,297 I'm actually Phil Dunphy. 447 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:34,382 I'm frank and grace Dunphy's son. 448 00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:37,218 Oh, I heard about your mom. I'm— I'm so sorry. 449 00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,554 Thank you. I only met her a few times, 450 00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:42,765 but she seemed like a lovely woman. 451 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,976 Mmm— but I'm still confused. 452 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:48,563 Well, this probably won't help, but, um, 453 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:54,944 her last request was for me to fix you up with my dad. 454 00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:57,405 Ohuny yeah. 455 00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:59,365 I really wish I sold vacuums. 456 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,117 So, earlier... 457 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,137 We were thrown when your brother answered the door. 458 00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:05,163 We thought he was your boyfriend. 1 sighs 1 459 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,249 I know this whole thing sounds so crazy, but you have to know my mom. 460 00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,918 She just loved my dad so much. 461 00:20:11,002 --> 00:20:13,171 And, uh, she didn't want him to be alone. 462 00:20:13,296 --> 00:20:16,049 I don't know what to say. Oh, uh... 463 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:19,427 Really? This is such a normal request I'm making. 464 00:20:19,510 --> 00:20:22,055 Please, by the way, don't feel pressured at all. 465 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,265 My dad doesn't even know about this. 466 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:26,851 I-I just— I had to tell you. It's what she wanted. 467 00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,395 She was always doing crazy stuff like this... 468 00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:32,732 Going out of her way to take care of us. 469 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,444 I coughed on the phone once, and she overnighted me soup. 470 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:41,115 When I wanted to learn how to ski, she knit me a sweater. 471 00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:42,867 When I wanted to be a marine biologist, 472 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:46,162 she knit me a sweater with a whale on it. 473 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,290 I mean, who does that? 474 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,086 That's just the kind of person she is. 475 00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:54,837 Was. 476 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,422 Oh, sweetie. 477 00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,467 You're a good son. 478 00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:04,222 She was right. You are very nice. 479 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:06,557 1; 480 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,622 It's a beautiful service. 481 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:20,405 It really makes you think about how you wanna live your life. 482 00:21:21,823 --> 00:21:24,158 I wanna quit my job and get back into the courtroom. 483 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:27,161 What? Just don't say anything to anyone. 484 00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,247 Well, who am I gonna tell? 485 00:21:30,415 --> 00:21:34,627 I can apply for my citizenship as soon as I clear up things in Texas. 486 00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:37,213 Good for you. And Arizona. 487 00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:40,925 1; Thank you, Mel. That was beautiful. 488 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:46,222 Um, before we say good night, 489 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,183 my daughter Alex would like to pay tribute. 490 00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:54,230 Thanks, sweetie. 491 00:21:59,193 --> 00:22:00,695 1 sighs 1 492 00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:03,156 my grandmother and I had a very special bond. 493 00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:05,074 Seriously? Again? 494 00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:07,452 This may not make sense to everyone, 495 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,662 but I'm pretty sure she would've loved it. 496 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:23,426 ”This is a fighter. 497 00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:26,512 /t belonged to my favorite actor, Paul Newman. 498 00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:28,907 One day, he came into the restaurant where / was waitress/ng... 499 00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,309 And accidentally let? It behind 500 00:22:31,392 --> 00:22:33,019 for the first time in my life, 501 00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:36,022 I did something I wasn't supposed to and s/ioped it into my pocket. 502 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,900 One of the customers saw and said, 503 00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:41,444 'don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.' 504 00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:46,073 that customer turned out to be the lo ve of my life, your grandfather 505 00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:48,910 so, mya/ex, w/70 //o ve so dearly, 506 00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:51,829 who is probably too much like me for her own good, 507 00:22:51,913 --> 00:22:55,833 every once in a while, don't be afraid to break the rules. 508 00:22:55,917 --> 00:22:57,501 You ne ver know what can happen. ” 509 00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:02,131 Hey! No fireworks allowed! 510 00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:04,842 - You know what? Arrest me. - Mitchell, help her. 511 00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:07,094 I got this. He's quitting his job. 512 00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:16,145 How 'bout this weather? Yep. 513 00:23:16,270 --> 00:23:18,898 Say it's supposed to rain. We need it. 514 00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:20,983 Muriel. 515 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,319 Hey! Are you two packed up and ready to go? 516 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,321 Yep. 517 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:28,366 Where does the time go? Darned if I know. 518 00:23:28,491 --> 00:23:31,118 Everyone's always in such a hurry. And why? 519 00:23:31,202 --> 00:23:33,454 We're all gonna end up in the same place. 520 00:23:34,664 --> 00:23:37,083 Well, I guess we better mosey.