1 00:00:03,071 --> 00:00:04,081 Yeah, honey, Mitchell helped me pick out the shirt. 2 00:00:04,105 --> 00:00:06,040 [ Ragtime music plays ] You're gonna love it. 3 00:00:06,074 --> 00:00:07,817 Ooh, i wish i could pick you up some lip gloss, 4 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,810 but we're already at the car. 5 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,645 Okay, bye, honey. 6 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,047 Getting pretty good, huh? 7 00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:15,149 Yeah, but you were always good. 8 00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:17,151 I'm just glad you stuck with it. 9 00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:18,152 Seriously? 10 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,087 What? 11 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,988 It's playing itself. 12 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,823 Well, i didn't know. 13 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,327 You honestly thought that i just became a piano virtuoso, dad? 14 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,062 You've known me my whole life. 15 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:29,497 Have you ever seen me take a lesson? 16 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,165 I thought maybe you were self-taught. 17 00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,666 Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. 18 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,078 Like when i taught myself to play the clarinet. Exactly. 19 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:35,936 I never played the clarinet. 20 00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,171 Can we drop it? 21 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:38,106 Let's go get an ice cream. 22 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:40,007 What about my lactose intolerance? 23 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,942 Oh, I'm not loving this game. 24 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,745 [ Scoffs ] This sucks. 25 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,414 My teacher gave me mononucleosis. 26 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,249 As a parent, i feel i should ask about this. 27 00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:49,617 Slow down. 28 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,261 It's not like she gets that many tugs on the line. 29 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:52,553 Alex: It's for a.P. Bio. 30 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:53,863 We have to write a report about a disease, 31 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:54,955 and i got the worst one. 32 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:55,956 This is a joke. 33 00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,258 Actually, it's pretty serious. 34 00:00:57,291 --> 00:00:59,693 Back in college, i caught mono from my roommate, ling. 35 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,130 Served us right for fooling around. 36 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:04,698 Never share a flute, kids. 37 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,110 Hey, can you drop me off at the library? 38 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:08,636 Sorry. I'm meeting some friends at that coffee shop on lake. 39 00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:10,204 You mean the one next to the library? 40 00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:11,239 That's a library? 41 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:12,406 I thought it was a church 42 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,041 for a religion that didn't allow makeup. 43 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,943 When is the washing machine gonna get fixed? 44 00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:18,246 I'm wearing a swimsuit underneath my pants. 45 00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:20,290 [ Groans ] Everybody's gonna have clean clothes soon. 46 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,982 The repair guy's supposed to come today 47 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:23,083 between 10:00 and 2:00. 48 00:01:23,117 --> 00:01:24,261 Oh! Honey, can you be here for that? 49 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,820 Can i sit around in an empty house and wait for someone? 50 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:30,090 Baby, I'm a realtor. I have a license for that. 51 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,668 You sure you don't mind? Go. Run your errands. 52 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,170 It'll give me a chance to get started on these dishes. 53 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,163 Oh, good. All right, come on, Luke. 54 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:37,198 All right. See you guys later. 55 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,602 Oh. More dishes than i thought. 56 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:44,305 That lasagna's gonna be a tough one. 57 00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:47,308 Somebody's gonna need a scrub brush. [ Door closes ] 58 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:48,942 [ Cellphone ringing ] 59 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,845 [ Cellphone beeps ] Hello? 60 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,681 What? 61 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,084 No... Way! 62 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,687 June 10, 1988. 63 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,156 Carla concannon and i spent the afternoon 64 00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:04,091 frolicking at the public pool. 65 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:07,428 Later, at her house, things got private 66 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:11,199 while a 45 of Carly Simon's "nobody does it better" played. 67 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:15,102 It was my first time, her first time... 68 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,337 With me. 69 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:19,106 I always thought it'd be fun to own that 45. 70 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:21,050 When the record store finally called that morning, 71 00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,844 i ran right down so i wouldn't miss the repairman. 72 00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:25,313 [ Bells jingle ] I had to have it. 73 00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:27,014 It was the chance to relive 74 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:30,050 those magical 3 minutes and 42 seconds, 75 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:32,119 which was also the length of the song. 76 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,954 But then it dawned on me... 77 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,889 I was cheating on my wife 78 00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:38,392 with the red-hot memory of another woman. 79 00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:43,997 I could not let Claire find out. 80 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:47,235 I had to destroy the evidence. 81 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,070 Luckily, I'm cool under pressure. 82 00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:53,207 Ow! 83 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:54,342 [ Grunts ] 84 00:02:55,909 --> 00:02:57,211 Ow. 85 00:03:00,047 --> 00:03:02,015 What?! No! 86 00:03:02,049 --> 00:03:03,917 When did he...? 87 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,419 Come on! 88 00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:07,555 There were a couple of snags, 89 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:11,225 but i think i covered my tracks pretty well. [ Sighs ] 90 00:03:11,259 --> 00:03:14,194 Captions by vitac... 91 00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:17,197 Captioning provided by 20th century fox television and abc, inc. 92 00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:20,200 And brought to you by Ford. Go further. 93 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:23,771 *** 94 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:26,173 I'm so sorry it took so long to get you these clothes. 95 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,008 I left them in the back of my car 96 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,577 and completely forgot about them. 97 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,011 Sounds familiar. 98 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,556 I was in the pharmacy for three minutes. 99 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,090 You had a cracked window and a juice box. 100 00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,416 Let's retire that story. 101 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,184 Can i wear this for the family photo? 102 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,119 Oh, honey, that's adorable, but, you know, 103 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:41,054 Gloria wants us in jeans and a black t-shirt... 104 00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,290 Classic and casual. 105 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,057 And then maybe afterwards, we can stop by 106 00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:45,702 and change the scenery in a high-school play. 107 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,261 That is a really cute dress. 108 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,029 Oh, yeah, thank you. Just got it yesterday. 109 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,431 Really? 110 00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,733 It reminds me of something i gave you six months ago. 111 00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,811 [ High-pitched ] Do you ever put her in the girls' hand-me-downs? 112 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,313 Oh, yeah. All the time. [ Higher ] Really? 113 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:59,640 Because if my girls' old clothes aren't to your taste, 114 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,742 i could always just... Give them to somebody else! 115 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,110 Okay, calm down, Claire. 116 00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,322 Your voice is getting to that pitch that disturbs our cat. 117 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:06,586 [ Door opens ] [ Clears throat ] 118 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,882 Hey. Oh, my god. 119 00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,460 You will not believe what dad just said. 120 00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,453 So, we're at the mall, right? Claire: Mm-hmm. 121 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,422 And there's a piano there. I sit down behind it. 122 00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:15,589 I start... Come on, Mitchell. 123 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,491 He's just not wired for compliments. 124 00:04:17,525 --> 00:04:18,892 I'm sure your playing was great. 125 00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,829 I don't play the piano. I've never taken a lesson. 126 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:22,996 Are you sure? Oh, my god. 127 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,274 My own family doesn't even know me. 128 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,999 Mitchell, please. Don't be so sensitive. 129 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,243 You don't see me pitching a fit 130 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,102 because cam is too much of a snob 131 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,338 to use our hand-me-downs. 132 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,639 Sn... I'm sorry... Snob? 133 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,006 Mm-hmm. 134 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,643 I will have you know i come from simple farm folk. 135 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,178 There is permanent dirt underneath these fingernails 136 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,413 from working the soil. 137 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:40,448 Really? 138 00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:42,583 I had no idea that re-potting your orchids 139 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,117 counted as "working the soil." 140 00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,486 Okay, they're in soil, are... 141 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,488 You know what? I don't want to talk about this. 142 00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:48,865 Mm-hmm. I don't need to listen to this. 143 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:49,999 I'm gonna go out and get some air. 144 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,024 I know the feeling. 145 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:53,461 Retire it. Seriously. 146 00:04:55,195 --> 00:04:56,964 Does Joe look a little pale to you? 147 00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,699 This whole country looks pale to me. 148 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:01,602 I think he needs a little color for tonight's photograph. 149 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,204 What do you think is the minimum age for a spray tanning? 150 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,173 Now that Joe is here 151 00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:08,776 and that his head is finally normal-shaped, 152 00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,445 i decided to take a new family portrait. 153 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,347 Hola! 154 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,015 How did it go at the mall? 155 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,884 Bought a shirt, angered my son... 156 00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,285 Another successful outing. 157 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,330 [ Cellphone rings ] Ooh. I've been wanting to do this. 158 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,723 Quick... what's the ring around an angel's head? 159 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,525 [ Cellphone beeps ] What? Halo! 160 00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:25,826 You did the angel one! 161 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,127 Ordinarily, I'd be delighted, 162 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,129 but this isn't gonna be one of our fun chats. 163 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,474 You mean like that time you called me 164 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:31,732 when you saw that blimp? 165 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,634 It was so low, they waved back. 166 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,902 I'd done a pretty good job 167 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,804 eliminating all traces of that record, 168 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,673 but there was still one loose end. 169 00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:51,985 You know, earlier today, 170 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,430 when we ran into each other on the street? 171 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:55,055 I didn't see you. You didn't see me. 172 00:05:55,088 --> 00:05:56,156 Okay, so you're saying 173 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,426 whatever either one of us might have been doing 174 00:05:58,459 --> 00:05:59,760 will remain forever... 175 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,663 I didn't see you. You didn't see me. 176 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,431 Just to be c... 177 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,998 [ click ] Hello? 178 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:08,068 Jay's so cool. He gets it. 179 00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:09,245 I didn't know what he was talking about, 180 00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:12,372 but i needed him to keep his trap shut. 181 00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:14,608 You see, lately, i may have been dabbling 182 00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:18,546 in something that... Strong, virile men like me 183 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,114 aren't supposed to be dabbling in. 184 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,116 And it wouldn't exactly fit my image 185 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:26,119 if people found out i was considering entering... 186 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:30,290 A certain adorable dog in a dog show. 187 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:33,060 Gloria thought i was out getting my tires rotated. 188 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:36,196 Actually, i was buying Stella a decorative show collar... 189 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,199 You know, just in case. 190 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,436 I figure if she looks beautiful, she'll feel beautiful. 191 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:45,706 [ Door opens ] 192 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,050 Guess who we ran into at the library. 193 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,652 How would i know? I was here the whole time. 194 00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:50,444 Sanjay patel. He's got crohn's disease. 195 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:51,879 No! I know. So lucky. 196 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:53,657 He's totally going to win that science scholarship. 197 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:55,324 He should use it to find a cure for baldness, 198 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,284 'cause that kid is 16 with a comb-over. 199 00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:59,052 [ Chuckles ] That's it! 200 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,621 I'm just gonna pick a new topic. 201 00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,623 I want a disease that everyone in the school 202 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,624 is going to talk about. 203 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,025 All right! 204 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,461 Hey! Hi! Wow! 205 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:08,596 Why are you standing there? 206 00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,498 'Cause i missed you. I love you so much. 207 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,665 Oh! [ Smooches ] 208 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:12,733 Oh, wow. Love you, too. 209 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:13,734 [ Both chuckle ] 210 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:14,911 How'd it go with the repair guy? 211 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:17,137 The repair guy came, but i missed him. 212 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,807 "Why? What were you doing?" "Listening to a record." 213 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,408 "What record?" "It's not important." 214 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:22,676 "Phil!" 215 00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:24,287 "The soundtrack to my first sexual experience 216 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,079 "that i think about from time to time. 217 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,616 Honey, where are you going?! Don't take the kids!" 218 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:30,918 He didn't show up. 219 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,686 What?! That is so annoying! 220 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,998 I know. Put away your groceries. I'll call him and reschedule. 221 00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,990 No, no, no, no, no. You are too nice. 222 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,025 I am calling. 223 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,127 I am not resting till i get to the bottom of this. 224 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,371 It's no big deal. It's not the first time I've been stood up by some guy. 225 00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,831 Oh, listen to your words, Phil. 226 00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:46,365 Yep. Yep. 227 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,040 She called me a snob, Mitchell. 228 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:55,175 I'm... oh, I'm sorry if i don't rush 229 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,477 to throw Lily in every bargain-bin rag 230 00:07:57,511 --> 00:07:58,979 Claire tosses our way. 231 00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:01,114 You're not really shedding the "snob" tag with that. 232 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,650 Look, why don't we just put Lily 233 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,393 in one of Alex's shirts for the picture tonight? 234 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:05,653 She'll see right through that. 235 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:06,796 No, you're thinking of Haley's shirts. 236 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,131 No, i mean it'll look like we're doing it 237 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,056 just because she brought it up. 238 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:09,990 Well, i know. 239 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,792 That's why I'm looking for a photo 240 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,061 of Lily in a hand-me-down to show Claire, 241 00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,238 but i-i can't seem to find one. 242 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:17,798 By the way, I'm barely in any of these. 243 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,976 Mitchell, are you suggesting what i think you're suggesting? 244 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,078 Yes! Sometimes i feel like this family looks right past... 245 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,672 You're suggesting that we stage a photograph. 246 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,139 Put Lily in some hand-me-downs. 247 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,684 Make it look like it's from the past... 248 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:30,043 Christmas, say... Just to prove Claire wrong. 249 00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:31,845 Simplicity itself. 250 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,189 That's not remotely what I'm saying... 251 00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:34,591 Mitchell, don't second-guess yourself. 252 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,383 It's simplicity itself. 253 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:42,089 Yes, once again, i would like to speak to a supervisor. 254 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:45,058 Listen, if my husband said nobody came, nobody came. 255 00:08:45,092 --> 00:08:46,193 Dad, it's your move. 256 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,066 No, i think i should just play it cool for now. 257 00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,097 I'm so sorry. 258 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,565 Score! 259 00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,934 I got a disease that's rare and fun... narcolepsy. 260 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:56,604 The company swears that the driver was here at 10:00. 261 00:08:56,637 --> 00:08:58,281 They're putting him through to me right now. 262 00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,940 I'm gonna chip away at his story. Mm-hmm. 263 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,742 Let's see how you get out of this. 264 00:09:01,775 --> 00:09:02,776 I'm thinking. 265 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,011 It's a neurological condition 266 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,413 where people under extreme stress actually fall asleep. 267 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:08,015 It's like a way for the brain to escape. 268 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,183 I bet he was doing something he shouldn't have. 269 00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,753 I'm just gonna let him keep talking till he makes a mistake. 270 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,021 Everybody makes mistakes. 271 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,765 [ Chess piece clacks ] And the noose tightens. 272 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:17,591 Why were my headphones in the couch? 273 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:20,293 Oh, good. You do keep GPS logs on all your drivers. 274 00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,862 [ Voice breaking ] There's no way out. 275 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,463 Let me just write down your name. 276 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:26,066 Hey, does anybody need a receipt from flipside records? 277 00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,368 Damn it! 278 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,070 I didn't even see that! 279 00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:32,072 Wow. 280 00:09:32,105 --> 00:09:33,874 I see you're registered for tonight's show. 281 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,408 First one, huh? 282 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:36,777 Yeah. 283 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,578 I'm not sure I'm comfortable 284 00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:40,580 with that whole prancing-in-a-circle thing 285 00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:41,749 in front of everybody. 286 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,459 Can someone else run her through her routine? 287 00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:44,618 It has to be the owner. 288 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:47,120 I suppose that's the best. We have a rapport. 289 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:48,455 All right. See you at 5:00. 290 00:09:48,488 --> 00:09:49,456 5:00. 291 00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,558 Uh, i got a family thing at 5:00. 292 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,460 Do these things tend to start on time? 293 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:56,096 Of course. It's not a cat show. 294 00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:57,140 Well, i better speed it along. 295 00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,431 Come on. 296 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:01,268 Ugh. I can't believe mom made me take you here. 297 00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,412 This is my only black shirt, and mom needs me to wash it. 298 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,437 Wow. 299 00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:06,073 It's only when i see the less fortunate 300 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,084 [ voice breaking ] That i realize how lucky my clothes are. 301 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:10,443 All the machines are taken. We're gonna have to wait. 302 00:10:10,477 --> 00:10:11,845 Oh, i am not spending any more time 303 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:13,189 in fluorescent lighting than i have to. 304 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,324 You're gonna sneak your shirt in with someone else's load... 305 00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,416 Like that guy's. 306 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,151 Go that way. I'll distract him. 307 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:20,921 Excuse me. 308 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,089 Haley? 309 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,090 Oh, my god. Kevin. 310 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,091 It's "Keith." 311 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,258 You really don't remember 312 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,827 the guy you abandoned at Coachella? 313 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,997 [ Scoffs ] I didn't abandon you. I-i texted you. 314 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:31,665 That deejay put me in a trance. 315 00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:34,434 Yeah. It's... it's almost like you were using me for tickets. 316 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,670 [ Scoffing ] Oh. That's crazy. 317 00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:38,471 Can you get those again? 318 00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:39,606 Or was that just, like, 319 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,141 a one-time thing with your uncle? 320 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,010 It was a one-time thing. 321 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,978 [ Inhales sharply ] Okay, so, good seeing you. 322 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:45,979 Yeah. 323 00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:47,147 Remind me never to date you. 324 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,281 [ Scoffs ] You wish. 325 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,555 Please. I could totally get you. 326 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,151 [ Singsong voice ] Like to see you try. 327 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,320 All right, Lily, can you come in here, please? 328 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,157 It's Christmas already? 329 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,158 Yay! 330 00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,535 Ah. Probably should have prepped her. 331 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,194 Okay, no, it's not actually Christmas. 332 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:02,896 We're just gonna take a fun photo. 333 00:11:02,930 --> 00:11:05,008 Which i am going to be in because i am a member of the... 334 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,066 Where is my stocking? 335 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,167 Oh, relax. 336 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,411 It's not in the shot, and neither are you. 337 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,013 Here... i want you to take the picture from right over here. 338 00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:11,304 [ Scoffs ] This way. Okay, great. 339 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,640 Lily, i want you to put this on 340 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,584 and then stand in front of the tree, and we'll pop a shot off. 341 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:17,745 Ooh! Look at all the pretty presents! 342 00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,079 Those are just empty boxes. 343 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,081 You're killing me! 344 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,185 I don't know which one it is! I didn't see him put it in! 345 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,888 [ Gasps ] Wait! I think i found it. 346 00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:29,089 He's coming! 347 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,390 What?! No! 348 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,925 What are you doing? 349 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,402 Uh, i-i saw that your laundry was done, 350 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:36,363 and i was gonna fold it for you to make us even 351 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:39,199 for what you thought that i did that i didn't do. 352 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,067 Even? 353 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,277 I held your popcorn for eight hours 354 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:42,378 waiting for you to come back. 355 00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,537 I walked all the parking areas twice, 356 00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:45,614 checked every medical tent. 357 00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:46,940 By the time i got back to my car, 358 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,042 it had been broken into and the battery was gone. 359 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,744 I had to trade my festival pass 360 00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,579 for a ride home in a horse trailer. 361 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:54,114 But... 362 00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,516 [ Singsong voice ] Looks like someone got a concert t-shirt. 363 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,118 [ Chuckles nervously ] 364 00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,887 Dad, is there anything bothering you 365 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,189 that might be causing... I don't know... 366 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,891 Major psychological stress? 367 00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:06,093 No. I've been acting normally, haven't i? 368 00:12:06,126 --> 00:12:08,028 Did something happen earlier today? 369 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,229 Uh, nothing at all. 370 00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:10,764 Because you seem a little tense. 371 00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,041 What? No, i don't! Stop badgering me! 372 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,134 I love your mom! Let's listen to some music. 373 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,980 [ "Nobody does it better" plays ] Boy, the way you cook things up sometimes, it's a little... 374 00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:18,071 Dad! What?! 375 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,282 [ Tires squealing ] You fell asleep! 376 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:20,707 It's like the fifth time today. 377 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,218 I think it has something to do with that guy 378 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,386 not showing up to fix the washing machine. 379 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,378 Well, that's not exactly what happened. [ Scoffs ] 380 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,256 You snuck out to buy "nobody does it better" from flipside records, 381 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,448 and he showed up? 382 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:29,983 That's more exactly what happened. 383 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,151 How do you know all this? 384 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:32,886 I've been watching you all day. 385 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,164 I think the guilt from that has been causing you to fall asleep. 386 00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:36,423 So you know about Carla? 387 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,590 I do now. 388 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,560 Dad! What is happening?! 389 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,977 I was skeptical about the jeans and t-shirt, but i like it. 390 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,736 Any chance the photographer could fire off 391 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,138 a couple solo shots? [ Gasps ] 392 00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:53,673 Look at the bottom of Joe's face. 393 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,184 What happened? Did you leave him in the sun? 394 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,110 No, i took him out for five minutes 395 00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,846 to give him a little color. 396 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,681 I must have not closed the visor all the way down. 397 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,117 Why is it so important to you that he has color? 398 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:05,361 Because we're sending this picture 399 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:06,519 to our family in Colombia, 400 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:09,089 and i have a son that doesn't even look Colombian. 401 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,333 Now they're gonna look at this picture, 402 00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:13,160 and they're gonna think that i am a terrible mother, 403 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,528 that i can't even take care of my own child. 404 00:13:15,562 --> 00:13:16,964 I think your reputation is set. 405 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:18,365 I can still do this with my arm 406 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,133 'cause i slept in the sink till i was 3. 407 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,134 [ Door opens ] Phil: Ha-lo! 408 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:22,936 People are here. I'll deal with Joe. 409 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:24,304 Okay. Come on, buddy. 410 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:27,140 Ohh. Come on. 411 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,842 Hola. Claire is on her way. 412 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:30,610 Dad, you have to confess to mom. 413 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,889 [ Door closes ] Clearing your conscience is the only way to make this stop. 414 00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,014 Really? 415 00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,015 I hope so, or else i have to rewrite 416 00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:36,059 the whole end of my paper. 417 00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:38,118 Just the two of you? Where's the rest? 418 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,720 I had hoped to get this picture thing wrapped up by 5:00! 419 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:41,989 They're all coming separately. 420 00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,199 Cam, do me a favor... Call Mitchell 421 00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:44,357 and light a fire under him. 422 00:13:44,391 --> 00:13:45,525 I'm right here, dad. 423 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,327 Oh. Good. I didn't see you come in. 424 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,695 You opened the door for me. 425 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,730 You thanked me for bringing a bottle of chardonnay. 426 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,565 Doesn't sound like me. [ Door opens ] 427 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,367 Hey, guys. We're here. 428 00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:56,312 Finally. Let's do this. Luke, where's your black shirt? 429 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,570 Right here. I'll get changed. 430 00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,039 All right. Shake a leg. 431 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,240 Mitchell: Hey, sweetie. Hi! 432 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,475 Hey. Hello. 433 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:03,643 Hey, Lily, be careful. 434 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,412 Don't get anything on that beautiful outfit. 435 00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,180 Recognize it? Look familiar? 436 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:08,381 Yes, i do, but i hardly think 437 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,383 that putting her in one of Alex's hand-me-downs 438 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,019 proves anything after i pitched a fit. 439 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,892 Well, first of all, i think it's really healthy 440 00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:15,755 that you do admit it was a fit. 441 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,157 But if you need further proof, 442 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,192 I'm sure i could find a photograph over here. 443 00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,060 Sure. Go ahead. 444 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,528 Mm-hmm. No me. 445 00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:22,529 No me. 446 00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:23,530 No me. 447 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,198 Ah. There we are. 448 00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,242 Christmas morning last year. 449 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,101 [ Gasps ] Oh, my god. 450 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:30,537 Oh, it's Alex's old pajamas! 451 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,505 I'm so sorry. I owe you an apology. 452 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,007 Sometimes i can be really... 453 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,608 [ chuckles ] What's that? 454 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,177 Uh, the calendar opened to December, 455 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,946 the half-eaten cookies for Santa claus, 456 00:14:38,979 --> 00:14:40,880 the nibbled-on carrots for reindeer? 457 00:14:40,914 --> 00:14:42,149 I don't know. [ Chuckles ] 458 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:45,352 No, that looks like last month's vanity fair. 459 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,587 Oh, well, you know, every month's "young Hollywood." 460 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,957 Mm, and didn't Lily just lose that tooth? 461 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,134 Nope, it's still there. It's just dirty. 462 00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:52,559 Christmas-morning chocolates. 463 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,962 Uh, and i am quite sure that's a reflection of Mitchell 464 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,030 in the clothes he was wearing this morning. 465 00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:59,066 Oh, yay, i finally made it into a picture. 466 00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:00,109 Just couldn't change, could you? 467 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:01,468 You are a snob. 468 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:02,811 Okay, you know what... You're a snob. 469 00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,213 It hardly takes a snob to recognize 470 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,138 the clothes you put your children in... Snob! 471 00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:06,439 Are uninspired at best. 472 00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:08,775 Claire, cam, enough! Oh, really?! 473 00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,286 Everybody in this family has good taste. 474 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,544 It's just different. 475 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,280 It's causing too many fights. 476 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,315 That's why today i just put everybody 477 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,917 in a simple t-shirt-and-jeans outfit. 478 00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,786 Mm. There's a new rule from now on... 479 00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,989 Nobody gives clothes to anyone else's children. 480 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,224 Well, i think that's probably for the best. 481 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,394 Thank god i don't have to spend one more of Joe's birthdays 482 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,963 with a funny smile on my face. 483 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,999 Thank you, cam. He loves it. 484 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:34,734 Twinsies! [ Laughs ] 485 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:35,935 Yay! 486 00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:37,070 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 487 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,805 Okay, everybody, it's picture time. 488 00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:39,839 Where's Luke? 489 00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,008 Right here. 490 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,019 Honey, what are you wearing? Is that a girl's shirt? 491 00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,112 I guess i grabbed the wrong one from the laundromat. 492 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:47,514 If I'm being honest, i don't hate the way it fits. 493 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,250 It must be that guy's girlfriend's shirt. 494 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,785 Is it bad that that makes him more interesting to me? 495 00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:54,121 Yes. Stay away. 496 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,965 Don't worry about Luke. We'll stick him in the back row. 497 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,991 Not everyone can look their best in the picture. 498 00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,126 Manny: Joe's ready. 499 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,495 What did you do to him? 500 00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,164 You want him to look more Colombian. 501 00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,999 What's more Colombian than the Colombian flag? 502 00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:07,034 He's perfect. 503 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,801 Not a banner day for my male heirs. 504 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,870 Claire, you're in the back. 505 00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,606 Phil, you're behind Claire. No rabbit ears. 506 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,518 I don't want you messing around behind Claire's back. 507 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:16,443 Dad! 508 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,111 Jay: Cameron, Lily, come on in. 509 00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:19,112 It's picture time. 510 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:20,480 Honey. Mm-hmm. 511 00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:22,149 There's something i need to tell you. Mm. 512 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,983 Uh, you know how you can treasure 513 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:25,652 special moments in your past 514 00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:28,155 that in no way diminish the special moments in your present? 515 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,865 Yeah, sweetheart, it's called having a memory. 516 00:16:29,889 --> 00:16:31,167 Okay, i wouldn't mind a friendlier tone 517 00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,026 as i move through this. What did you do? 518 00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:34,161 Up, up, up, up, ah! 519 00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,204 No, that's the wrong way, sweetheart. 520 00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,063 [ Chuckles ] [ Metal clatters ] 521 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:37,206 Luke: What fell out of Lily's pocket? 522 00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:39,166 Is that a diamond ring? 523 00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:41,334 Huh. That'll go great with your shirt. 524 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,170 It looks real. 525 00:16:43,203 --> 00:16:44,637 It is real. 526 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,474 A small occlusion, but very good color. 527 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,508 This is Claire's. 528 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:49,509 No. 529 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,010 Claire's got her's on. Yeah. 530 00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,979 Ay, Phil, please, you cannot tell the difference 531 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:56,049 between this beautiful, but a small, diamond 532 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,984 and that chunk of glass 533 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,387 that should have made her finger fall off weeks ago. 534 00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:01,688 [ Clears throat ] 535 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,424 I feel like i am getting you in trouble. 536 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,426 Picture time! 537 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,827 What's happening? 538 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,929 Okay, don't be mad. 539 00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:12,532 Um, i lost my real ring a few months ago, 540 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:13,842 and i just realized it must have fallen 541 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,868 in the box of clothes i gave to Lily. 542 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,104 Why'd you take it off? 543 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:19,439 Well, i got pulled over, 544 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:22,409 and i wanted to flirt my way out of the ticket 545 00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:24,111 by pretending i was single 546 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,679 and it worked, and i kind of liked it. 547 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,915 And then i felt so guilty about liking it 548 00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,850 that i just wanted to erase the whole thing. 549 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:31,918 So you lied? 550 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:34,020 Yes. I lied. I'm sorry. 551 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,622 Does that make me a terrible person? 552 00:17:35,655 --> 00:17:38,291 No, no. Are you kidding me? No? 553 00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:40,527 [ Exhales sharply ] We've been married for a long time. 554 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,895 Of course we're gonna have our little secrets. 555 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,697 The important thing... Mm-hmm? 556 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,133 Is that we know the difference 557 00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,767 between a harmless indulgence... Mm-hmm? 558 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,036 And a real indescret... 559 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,239 Gloria? 560 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,307 Left. Thank you. 561 00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:56,109 Jay: Okay, it's picture time! 562 00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,310 Everybody, hurry up. 563 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,878 Get in your positions. 564 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,113 All right? Oh. 565 00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:02,149 All right, i think that everyone is here. 566 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,216 Okay, ready? 567 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,152 And smile! [ Camera shutter clicks ] 568 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,953 Mitchell: Are you kidding me? Oh. 569 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,063 Nobody noticed i wasn't here. 570 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,589 What does it take with you people?! 571 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:10,623 Oh. 572 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:13,160 Ay, Joe, my baby, are you okay? 573 00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,770 Yeah, yeah, maybe... maybe that... that's what it takes 574 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,004 for you to pay attention to me... 575 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,473 Throw a temper tantrum like... Like Joe. 576 00:18:17,497 --> 00:18:20,267 I could just throw a big... Temper tantrum that... 577 00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,469 Or if i make a mess of everything and... 578 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:25,805 [ Cup clatters ] 579 00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:30,042 [ Clears throat ] 580 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:35,348 I feel like that was aimed at me. 581 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:36,592 [ Bottle thuds ] You want to talk about it? 582 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,117 Or i could just play some piano. 583 00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,286 So I'm in the ballpark. 584 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:42,855 [ Sighs ] Look. 585 00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:46,593 If it seems sometimes like we don't notice you, 586 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,795 maybe that is because we are focused... 587 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,997 [ Sighs ] On our own stupid problems, 588 00:18:51,030 --> 00:18:53,099 and you're so steady. 589 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,100 Oh, you mean boring. 590 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,101 No. Yeah. 591 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,469 Calm. 592 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,505 Because you live your life the way you want to. 593 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,975 In fact, you inspired me recently. 594 00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:04,377 Oh, how so? 595 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,145 Well... 596 00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,214 [ Sighs ] 597 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,382 Fine. 598 00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,218 I've been going through this thing lately. 599 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,719 It all started when i noticed 600 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,222 a group of guys in the corner in the park. 601 00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,823 And, uh, honestly, 602 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,301 when i first found out what they were doing, 603 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,193 i thought it was kind of weird, 604 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:22,161 but i found i kept thinking about it. 605 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:24,197 And i thought I'd give it a whirl. 606 00:19:24,231 --> 00:19:25,532 Ok... okay. Go on. 607 00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:27,075 I think you know where I'm going with this, 608 00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:30,002 but one of the older guys showed me the ropes. 609 00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,538 Next thing i know, 610 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:34,040 I'm hanging out at that park in that corner every day 611 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:35,041 and loving it. 612 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,676 Uh-huh. 613 00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:39,045 But i must have also got some shame about it 614 00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,648 because it feels good when I'm doing it, but... 615 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,149 Is that me now? 616 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,184 A guy with a show dog. 617 00:19:45,218 --> 00:19:46,185 There it is! 618 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,087 Okay, see, i-i knew what it wasn't. 619 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,556 I just wasn't sure what it was. 620 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:50,990 In fact, there's a show right now, 621 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,692 but... Ah, I'm not gonna go. 622 00:19:52,725 --> 00:19:54,827 No, no. D... 623 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,896 I could tell this is important to you. No. 624 00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,365 You... you should go. You should go. 625 00:19:58,398 --> 00:19:59,499 I don't want to sneak out, 626 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:01,200 and i don't want people to know about it. 627 00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,902 Dad. 628 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:05,905 A wise man once told me, 629 00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:08,174 "i don't get it, but if that's who you are, 630 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,977 don't you dare be ashamed of it." 631 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,013 [ Chuckles ] 632 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,848 I did handle that kind of well. 633 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:17,250 Yeah, yeah, well... 634 00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:20,052 And it wasn't easy. 635 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:22,855 I just never pictured my kid a lawyer. 636 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,123 [ Laughs ] 637 00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:26,593 Manny: It's scary to let people see the real you, 638 00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,428 even when those people are your own family. 639 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:29,429 [ Applause ] 640 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:30,730 But aren't they the ones 641 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,432 we should be least worried about, 642 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,567 the ones who will love us without judging, 643 00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,036 who forgive our faults and celebrate our imperfections? 644 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,271 Maybe even encourage us 645 00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,206 to let our true selves shine through? 646 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:42,275 Wait, wait. Hang on. Wait, wait. 647 00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,043 [ Dog tags clink ] 648 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,177 Okay. 649 00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,948 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 650 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:50,058 I think you look beautiful. 651 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,083 I look old. 652 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:53,052 All my cousins are going to see this. 653 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:56,122 Click the button that makes my wrinkles go away. 654 00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:02,905 [ Gasps ] What happened? Nothing. 655 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,097 It's not nothing. You're limping! 656 00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:07,066 Were you trying to do the Russian dance again? 657 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,901 It was just something stupid i was trying out, 658 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:11,571 and i don't even know why, since it's basically impossible. 659 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,773 Gloria. Gloria! Check it out. 660 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,842 Is this not the cutest thing you've ever seen? 661 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,844 She did that on her first try. 662 00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:19,111 He loves it, too. 663 00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:21,247 Oh, oh, sure. Rub it in, Joe. 664 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,349 Attagirl! 665 00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:24,116 [ Laughing ] Here she comes this way! 666 00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:25,985 Now she's just showing off. 667 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,454 Both ways.