1 00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:03,803 OKAY. WE'RE ALMOST READY HERE. 2 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,004 OKAY. NOW, EASY ON THE FILTERS, CAM. 3 00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:07,041 IT'S A FAMILY PICTURE. WE DON'T NEED SEPIA TONE. 4 00:00:07,075 --> 00:00:08,808 YOU KNOW WHAT OTHER TONE WE DON'T NEED? 5 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,811 PLAY NICE. OKAY. 6 00:00:10,843 --> 00:00:13,047 WE ARE TAKING A NEW PHOTO FOR ABOVE OUR MANTEL. 7 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,148 LILY'S NOT IN THE ONE UP THERE NOW, 8 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:18,385 AND WE...STARTED TO GET THE SLIGHT IMPRESSION THAT... 9 00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:19,753 IT WAS BOTHERING HER. 10 00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:23,957 LILY, WE'RE READY FOR DINNER, SW-- OH. 11 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,730 BIG SMILES! 12 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:30,897 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 13 00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:33,067 GREAT. LET'S TAKE A LOOK. Mitchell: GREAT. 14 00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:37,003 OKAY. NOT BAD. 15 00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:38,271 NOT BAD. 16 00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:41,774 UM...LET'S SHAKE OUT OUR FACES. REALLY? 17 00:00:41,808 --> 00:00:43,610 WHO TOOK THE ONLINE COURSE? SHAKE 'EM OUT. 18 00:00:43,643 --> 00:00:45,345 All: BR-BR-BR-BR-BR-BR! 19 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:46,847 YEP. THAT'S PERFECT. 20 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,716 1...2... 21 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:50,750 CHEE-E-E-SE! CHEE-E-E-SE! 22 00:00:50,783 --> 00:00:51,752 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 23 00:00:51,784 --> 00:00:53,720 OKAY. GREAT! 24 00:00:55,054 --> 00:00:56,390 OKAY, UM, MITCHELL, 25 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,024 CAN I SEE YOU OVER HERE, PLEASE? 26 00:00:58,057 --> 00:00:58,926 Mitchell: YEAH. 27 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:00,027 HANG TIGHT, SWEETIE. 28 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,594 LOOK. 29 00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,564 WHY IS SHE DOING THAT WITH HER FACE? 30 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,299 I DON'T KNOW. I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A WEIRD, FORCED SMILE. 31 00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:07,268 HOW DO I LOOK? 32 00:01:07,301 --> 00:01:09,137 BEAUTIFUL. PERFECT. 33 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:12,140 *** 34 00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,918 WOW! WHAT AN AMAZING CAMPUS! 35 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:26,587 I MEAN, LOOK AT THESE COOL BUILDINGS. 36 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,289 AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THE TURTLES? 37 00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:30,123 [ Chuckling ] AND CHECK THIS OUT -- 38 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,459 A REFLECTING POND. 39 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,960 Alex: GREAT. MAYBE YOU CAN SEE HOW CRAZY YOU'RE BEING RIGHT NOW. 40 00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:35,162 GOD, I WISH I'D BROUGHT A FRISBEE. 41 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:36,396 WHAT'S SO SPECIAL? 42 00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,731 IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE COLLEGE I WENT TO. 43 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,301 AND WE'VE BEEN HERE EXACTLY AS LONG AS YOU WERE THERE. 44 00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:42,402 LUKE, BE NICE. 45 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,503 WELL, ALEX IS LEAVING. 46 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:45,004 SOMEBODY'S GOT TO KEEP THE TRAINS RUNNING. 47 00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:46,274 Claire: BACK ME UP HERE, GUYS. 48 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:48,509 THIS PLACE SCREAMS "ALEX," RIGHT? 49 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:51,145 IT LOOKS LIKE EVERY OTHER COLLEGE IN AMERICA. 50 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:52,579 WHAT AM I MISSING? 51 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:56,015 GOOD GRADES, S.A.T. SCORES, BASIC VERBAL SKILLS. 52 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,218 THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT. 53 00:01:57,950 --> 00:02:00,019 CALTECH IS THE PERFECT SCHOOL. 54 00:02:00,052 --> 00:02:01,087 FOR CLAIRE. 55 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,855 AND ALEX! COME ON, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT 56 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,525 ONE OF THE BEST SCHOOLS IN THE COUNTRY. 57 00:02:04,557 --> 00:02:06,859 AND, YES, IT HAPPENS TO BE 45 MINUTES FROM OUR HOUSE. 58 00:02:06,894 --> 00:02:09,263 OF COURSE, WE'LL SUPPORT HER WHEREVER SHE GOES. 59 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,664 OBVIOUSLY. NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME 60 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:12,966 THAN HER ACADEMIC WHATEVER, 61 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,036 BUT WITH ALEX, THE IMPORTANT THING IS KEEPING HER CLOSE 62 00:02:16,068 --> 00:02:17,170 FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS. 63 00:02:17,204 --> 00:02:19,139 AFTER THAT, I'M NEVER GONNA SEE HER 64 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:22,141 UNLESS SHE SKYPES ME FROM NEPTUNE, 65 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:24,044 WHERE SHE'S LIVING IN A BIODOME SHE INVENTED. 66 00:02:24,076 --> 00:02:26,879 AWESOME! THAT MEANS CHRISTMAS ON NEPTUNE! 67 00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:30,183 EVERY OTHER YEAR? 68 00:02:30,217 --> 00:02:31,519 NO. NO. 69 00:02:31,551 --> 00:02:33,353 Woman: ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, GATHER 'ROUND. 70 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:35,389 WE'LL BE STARTING THE TOUR IN JUST A MOMENT. 71 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,525 OKAY. I'M GONNA PEEL OFF AND HIT THE ROBOTICS LAB 72 00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:38,959 TO SEE HOW CLOSE THEY ARE 73 00:02:38,991 --> 00:02:41,027 TO A WORKING FEMALE. HOLD ON. 74 00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:43,163 THEY'RE NOT NEARLY AS CLOSE AS YOU'D HOPE, 75 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:44,531 AND YOU'RE NOT LEAVING MY SIDE. 76 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:45,498 BUT IT'S SO BORING. 77 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,167 IT'S LIKE I'M BEING PUNISHED. 78 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,134 YOU ARE BEING PUNISHED. 79 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,670 THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR TEACHER CALLS 80 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:50,837 TO TELL ME YOU CUT CLASS. 81 00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:53,206 I'M SORRY. I LOST TRACK OF TIME MAKING MY MOVIE. 82 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:54,741 HUMMINGBIRDMAN -- 83 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:58,346 A SUPERHERO WHOSE HEART CAN BEAT A THOUSAND TIMES A MINUTE. 84 00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,413 BUT CAN IT LOVE? 85 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,081 CHECK IT -- THERE'S A LAB ON CAMPUS 86 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:04,217 WHERE THEY DO EXPERIMENTS ON YOU FOR 50 BUCKS. 87 00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:06,753 OH, YEAH. YEAH, I USED TO DO A LOT OF THESE IN COLLEGE. 88 00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:08,155 SOMETIMES IT'S QUESTIONS. 89 00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:09,723 SOMETIMES THEY HOOK STUFF UP TO YOU. 90 00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:11,925 SOMETIMES IT'S JUST PALLING AROUND WITH A MONKEY, 91 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,093 WONDERING WHY THEY'RE REWARDING HIM AND NOT YOU. 92 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,195 WELL, THAT SOUNDS GREAT. YOU SHOULD GO DO THAT. 93 00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:17,598 I'LL GO. 94 00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,366 I'M UP FOR IT AS LONG AS THEY DON'T SHAVE ANYTHING. 95 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,700 HEY, I'D LOVE THE 50 BUCKS, 96 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,235 BUT I'M PRETTY SURE MOM WANTS ME HERE. 97 00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,437 NO, I DON'T. YOU CAN GO. 98 00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:25,004 OH, YOU CAN DROP THE ACT. 99 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,939 I KNOW YOU GUYS FORCED ME TO COME HERE 100 00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,609 SO I CAN WATCH ALEX 101 00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:30,009 AND GET ALL INSPIRED BY COLLEGE AGAIN. 102 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,110 WE REALLY DIDN'T. 103 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,280 Claire: YEAH, YOU JUST GOT IN THE CAR. 104 00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,382 I ONLY PACKED FOUR SANDWICHES. 105 00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:41,555 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, JAY! 106 00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:44,123 I DON'T LOVE THIS TABLEAU. 107 00:03:44,156 --> 00:03:46,759 IS THAT GLORIA'S GIFT TO ME? 108 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,429 WHAT IS IT? I DON'T KNOW. 109 00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,397 SURE YOU DO. I CAN TELL BY THE WRAP JOB. 110 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,265 SHE CAN'T MAKE CORNERS LIKE THIS, MANNY! 111 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,301 ONLY BECAUSE SHE'S ALWAYS IN SUCH A HURRY. 112 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,304 IS LIFE SO BUSY YOU CAN'T TAKE 20 MINUTES 113 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:58,872 TO GET OUT THE STRAIGHT-EDGE AND WRAP A GIFT ANYMORE? 114 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,907 COME ON. I'M A LITTLE ANXIOUS ABOUT MY GIFT FOR HER. 115 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,575 IT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL A LOT BETTER 116 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,110 IF I KNEW SHE PHONED THIS ONE IN. 117 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,413 SORRY, JAY. ONLY TIME WILL TELL. 118 00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:07,615 OH, GOD. 119 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:10,150 IT'S THAT BLACK PANERAI WATCH I WANTED, ISN'T IT?! 120 00:04:10,182 --> 00:04:13,420 WHY CAN'T YOU BE THIS FAST WHEN I'M YOUR CHARADES PARTNER? 121 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:14,622 [ DOOR OPENS ] 122 00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,255 Gloria: HOLA, MY LOVES! 123 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,292 YOU DIDN'T SEE ME. KEEP HER OUT OF THE GARAGE. 124 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,329 WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 125 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,463 I'M GONNA TALK TO HER. 126 00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:24,398 I'VE BEEN PHOTOGRAPHING HER FOR YEARS. 127 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:25,598 WE HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. 128 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:27,000 REALLY? WHAT'S SHE LIKE? 129 00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,935 I MEAN A PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP. 130 00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:30,170 LOOK, I'M GONNA TELL HER -- 131 00:04:30,202 --> 00:04:32,072 HER SMILE IS FORCED, IT'S UNNATURAL, 132 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,774 AND WE'RE NOT GOING HOME UNTIL WE GET WHAT WE NEED. 133 00:04:34,807 --> 00:04:37,345 COUPLE OF THINGS -- WE AR HOME, AND THAT'S MEAN. 134 00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:38,512 WHAT'S YOUR SUGGESTION? 135 00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:39,680 WE SHOW HER THE PHOTOS 136 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,582 AND LET HER DISCOVER HER WEIRD SMILE ON HER OWN. 137 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:43,683 OKAY. THAT'S GOOD. YEAH. 138 00:04:43,716 --> 00:04:44,918 I VIDEO OUR FOOTBALL GAMES 139 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,319 SO I CAN SEE WHAT WE'RE DOING WRONG. 140 00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,620 THAT'S HOW I FIGURED OUT 141 00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:49,288 THAT POWDER-BLUE WINDBREAKER WASHED ME OUT SO MUCH. 142 00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:51,591 OH, THANK GOD. I'M SURE THE TEAM APPRECIATED THAT. 143 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,161 LILY, SWEETHEART, WILL YOU COME HERE FOR A SECOND? Lily: YEP. 144 00:04:54,194 --> 00:04:55,963 LET'S DO THIS GENTLY, OKAY? I know. 145 00:04:55,995 --> 00:04:57,096 HI, SWEETHEART. 146 00:04:57,129 --> 00:04:58,531 OKAY. SO, DADDY AND I THOUGHT 147 00:04:58,566 --> 00:05:00,867 THAT WE WOULD LOOK AT THESE PHOTOS TOGETHER, 148 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,935 THE PICTURES THAT WE'VE TAKEN SO FAR, 149 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,673 AND SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT WE WOULD DO DIFFERENTLY. 150 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:07,675 LIKE, OKAY, WHEN I LOOK AT THIS PHOTO, 151 00:05:07,708 --> 00:05:09,709 I THINK, "I COULD STAND UP STRAIGHTER." 152 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:11,110 YEAH. CAM? 153 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:14,113 OKAY. I THINK I COULD BE A LITTLE LESS "RYAN GOSLING" 154 00:05:14,146 --> 00:05:16,048 AND A LITTLE MORE "EVERY MAN." 155 00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:20,052 LILY, IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU SEE IN YOURSELF 156 00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,954 THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO CHANGE HERE? 157 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,223 WELL, MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST DO ONE MORE? 158 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,559 REALLY? OKAY. 159 00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:28,028 THIS MIGHT NEED A LITTLE POWDER. 160 00:05:30,096 --> 00:05:31,531 [ DOOR OPENS ] 161 00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:32,566 UH, JAY? HEY. 162 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,667 YOUR WIFE'S UPSTAIRS. 163 00:05:33,701 --> 00:05:35,302 YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIDE IN THE GARAGE ANYMORE. 164 00:05:35,334 --> 00:05:36,168 I'M NOT HIDING. 165 00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,370 CLOSE THE DOOR, WILL YOU? 166 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,173 HOW BAD IS THE GIFT YOU BOUGHT HER? 167 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,375 I DIDN'T BUY HER ANYTHING. OOF. BAD IDEA. 168 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:44,043 I ONCE GAVE HER A BAG FULL OF HUGS, 169 00:05:44,076 --> 00:05:45,379 AND SHE DEFINITELY PREFERS STUFF. 170 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,480 IT'S NOT HUGS. 171 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,180 DOES THAT SOUND LIKE ME? 172 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:50,384 I MADE HER SOMETHING IN MY POTTERY CLASS. 173 00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:52,151 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOOK A POTTERY CLASS. 174 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,487 YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WITH AN ARTSY SIDE. 175 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,923 YEAH, I COULD'VE BOUGHT HER ANOTHER PIECE OF JEWELRY, 176 00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:59,492 BUT I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW, SHE MIGHT LIKE THIS A LITTLE MORE, 177 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,093 COMING FROM THE HEART AND ALL. 178 00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,696 WELL, SHOW IT TO ME. WHAT IS IT? 179 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,572 WOW. WHAT IS IT? 180 00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:12,740 IT'S A BUNNY. 181 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,173 IT USED TO BE MY NICKNAME FOR HER. 182 00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:15,776 ON OUR FIRST DATE, SHE HAD A COLD, 183 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:16,944 AND SHE WAS SNIFFLING A LOT, 184 00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,946 AND HER NOSE WOULD WRINKLE UP REAL CUTE -- 185 00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:20,112 YOU KNOW, LIKE A BUNNY. 186 00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,113 THAT'S SO SWEET. 187 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,082 YEAH, BUT THAT WATCH IS BIG AND GORGEOUS 188 00:06:23,115 --> 00:06:24,384 AND COSTS BIG BUCKS. 189 00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:26,454 I CAN'T GIVE HER SOMETHING HANDMADE. 190 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:27,555 I MEAN, SHE -- 191 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:29,389 SHE'S NOT SENSITIVE LIKE YOU AND ME. 192 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:30,690 LISTEN TO ME. 193 00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:33,225 I THINK YOU WENT TO THE JEWELRY STORE INSIDE HERE, 194 00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:34,961 AND YOU BROUGHT BACK A GEM. 195 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,430 KNOCK IT OFF. 196 00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:37,697 YOU THINK SO? 197 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,966 SHE'S GONNA LOVE IT. IT'S PERFECT. PERFECT? NAH. 198 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,435 BUT TEACHER PABLO DID SAY IT SHOWS GREAT PROMISE. 199 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:44,137 AND I AM PROUD OF THE TAIL. 200 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,372 LOOK AT THAT. OH, WOW. 201 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,874 NO, NO, I SAID LOOK. 202 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,108 SORRY. 203 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,810 AND THIS BUILDING IS HOME 204 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:51,879 TO ONE OF OUR FIVE NOBEL LAUREATES 205 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,045 CURRENTLY TEACHING HERE. 206 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,047 OOH! 207 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,415 IT ALSO HOUSES 208 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:59,086 OUR HIGH-CURRENT, HIGH-STABILITY PARTICLE ACCELERATOR. 209 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,052 AHH. 210 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,822 OKAY. YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. 211 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,625 THIS IS A COLLEGE TOUR, NOT OPRAH'S FAVORITE THINGS. 212 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,660 I AM JUST SO IMPRESSED BY THIS PLACE. 213 00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,762 AREN'T YOU? OF COURSE I AM. 214 00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,497 IT'S ONE OF THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS TECH SCHOOLS IN THE COUNTRY. 215 00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:11,964 UH-HUH. BUT IF YOU MUST KNOW, 216 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:13,834 I DON'T LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. 217 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,435 WHAT? OH, THE MASCOT'S A BEAVER. 218 00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:17,937 DON'T WORRY. THOSE JOKES WILL GET OLD. 219 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,773 NO, THEY WON'T, BECAUSE I'M NOT COMING HERE. 220 00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:22,074 HONESTLY, THE ONLY REASON I TOOK THIS TOUR TODAY 221 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,944 IS SO YOU WON'T ACCUSE ME OF NOT GIVING IT A FAIR SHOT. 222 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,947 WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO GO HERE? 223 00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:29,149 [ SIGHS ] I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE MAKING ME SAY THIS... 224 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,483 IT'S TOO CLOSE TO HOME. 225 00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:32,786 I HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM YOU GUYS FOR A LITTLE BIT, OKAY? 226 00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:36,423 OH. 227 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,024 Woman: ALL RIGHT. WE'RE GONNA CHECK OUT THE DORMS. 228 00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:41,427 PARENTS, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR CHILDREN. 229 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,029 OKAY. I SHOULD GO. 230 00:07:43,062 --> 00:07:44,731 MM-HMM. MM-HMM. 231 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:48,668 MOM, WAIT! 232 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:49,937 HONEY, IT'S OKAY. 233 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,639 WE ALL SAY THINGS THAT WE DON'T MEAN SOMETIMES. 234 00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,641 LOW BLOOD SUGAR. I NEED MY SANDWICH. 235 00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:54,807 YEAH. 236 00:07:54,841 --> 00:07:55,808 YEAH. 237 00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,651 ALL RIGHT. YOU CAN PLEASE WAIT HERE, 238 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:05,952 AND THE EXPERIMENT WILL BEGIN SHORTLY. 239 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,220 Phil: OKAY. THANK YOU. YEAH. 240 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,254 [ CHUCKLES ] 241 00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:11,190 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 242 00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,494 WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK THIS IS GONNA BE? 243 00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,228 I BET THEY'LL SHOW US THOSE INK BLOTS 244 00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:18,130 THAT ALWAYS LOOK LIKE TWO GIRLS KISSING. 245 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,533 A LITTLE TIP FROM AN OLD PRO -- 246 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:22,134 THEY CAN ELECTRIFY CHEESE, SO... 247 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,336 HEY, LOOK AT THAT. 248 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:24,904 "DO NOT PUSH." 249 00:08:24,937 --> 00:08:26,038 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 250 00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,074 TEACHING THIS BUTTON 251 00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:28,475 A LITTLE SOMETHING ABOUT FREE WILL. 252 00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:29,976 LUKE, IT SAYS, "DO NOT PUSH." 253 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,978 WHICH JUST MAKES ME WANT TO PUSH IT MORE. 254 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:32,913 HALEY, BACK ME UP. 255 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,715 PUSH IT, DON'T PUSH IT. I DON'T CARE. 256 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:36,415 IS THIS MIRROR WEIRD? I LOOK FUZZY. 257 00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:37,417 HUH. 258 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,586 WHO PUTS UP A BUTTON 259 00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:40,821 WITH A SIGN THAT SAYS YOU CAN'T PUSH IT? 260 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,389 THE SAME PEOPLE WHO STACK THE DECK 261 00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,658 SO THE MONKEY ALWAYS WINS... 262 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:46,559 scientists! 263 00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,028 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 264 00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:49,996 We're not waiting for the experiment. 265 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,231 This is the experiment! They're watching us right now! 266 00:08:52,264 --> 00:08:53,365 WAIT. WHAT? 267 00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:56,870 AND... 268 00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,171 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 269 00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,407 OKAY. GOOD. ALL RIGHT. LET'S TAKE A LOOK. 270 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,610 OH! BEAUTIFUL. 271 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,044 OKAY. SHE LOOKS LIKE PEPPER'S POMERANIAN. 272 00:09:05,077 --> 00:09:06,212 WE HAVE TO SAY SOMETHING. 273 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,015 WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY ARE WE STILL DOING THIS? 274 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:13,352 HONEY, DADDY AND I THINK YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL 275 00:09:13,385 --> 00:09:15,422 WITH A BEAUTIFUL SMILE. 276 00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:16,288 THANK YOU. 277 00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:17,524 YOU'RE WELCOME. 278 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,893 AND I'M SEEING THAT HERE, OKAY? 279 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,095 BUT I'M JUST NOT SEEING IT HERE. 280 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:23,395 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 281 00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,932 UH, WELL, UH... 282 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,434 LILY, YOU'RE DOING A DIFFERENT SMILE TODAY. 283 00:09:28,467 --> 00:09:29,536 DIFFERENT HOW? 284 00:09:29,568 --> 00:09:33,105 IT'S JUST A LITTLE... STIFF. MM-HMM. 285 00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:33,941 IS IT UGLY? 286 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,575 IT'S NOT UGLY. NO. 287 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,745 IT'S, UH -- IT, UM... 288 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,613 CAM... HMM? 289 00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:41,948 UH, WELL, S-SWEETIE, UM, 290 00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:44,817 IT'S JUST NOT YOUR NORMAL SMILE, WHICH IS SO BEAUTIFUL. 291 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,385 YOU MEAN I'M NOT BEAUTIFUL? 292 00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:48,755 NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT WE'RE SAYING. NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID, HONEY. 293 00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,990 JUST FORGET IT! I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE! 294 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,225 I'M AN UGLY MONSTER, 295 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:54,293 AND I'M NEVER COMING OUT OF MY ROOM AGAIN! 296 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,130 OKAY. WELL, THAT WAS A DISASTER. 297 00:09:58,164 --> 00:09:59,165 AGREED. BUT CAN I JUST SAY 298 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:00,500 I LOVE HOW MELODRAMATIC SHE'S GETTING? 299 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,001 SO FANTASTIC. 300 00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,604 THE LITTLE... [ FOOT STOMPS ] I KNOW. 301 00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,339 THERE SHE IS. 302 00:10:06,373 --> 00:10:10,309 HI, MI AMOR. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! 303 00:10:10,342 --> 00:10:11,912 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, HONEY. MWAH! 304 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,080 I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS. 305 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,982 [ CHUCKLING EXCITEDLY ] WHAT DID YOU GET ME? 306 00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,850 [ CHUCKLES ] 307 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,186 WHAT DID YOU GET ME? 308 00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,953 IT'S A BUNNY, MOM. 309 00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,522 IT'S A LITTLE ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES, 310 00:10:22,554 --> 00:10:24,124 BUT I'M JUST HOPING YOU'LL LOVE WHAT I PUT INTO IT. 311 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,993 OH, YOU PUT SOMETHING INSIDE?! 312 00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:32,131 I DON'T GET IT. THERE'S NOTHING INSIDE. 313 00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:34,134 YEAH, THAT'S, UH...'CAUSE, UM... 314 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:37,269 THE DAMN STUPID JEWELER DIDN'T PUT THE BRACELET IN THERE. 315 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:42,174 AY. THE ROSE GOLD WITH THE WAVES THAT I TOLD YOU THAT I LOVED? 316 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:42,975 YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S THE ONE. 317 00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:44,177 JAY. NO, IT'S FINE, MANNY. 318 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,846 I CAN RUN DOWN TO THE STORE RIGHT NOW AND GET IT. 319 00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,014 STUPID JEWELER! 320 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,216 AY, JAY, DON'T SCREAM AT HIM. IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE. 321 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,951 [ Voice breaking ] YEAH, IN HIS HEART, 322 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,721 HE WAS PROBABLY TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING. 323 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,554 AND PAST THE MILLIKAN LIBRARY, 324 00:10:55,587 --> 00:10:57,323 YOU'LL FIND THE BRIDGE ANNEX, 325 00:10:57,356 --> 00:10:58,959 WHICH IS ALSO THE SAME SITE 326 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:02,162 THAT CARL D. ANDERSON DISCOVERED THE...? NEUTRON. 327 00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,196 ANYONE ELSE? 328 00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,131 POSITRON. POSITRON. 329 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,533 THAT'S RIGHT. 330 00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,668 IN 1932... ...ON AUGUST 2nd... 331 00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,971 ....ON THE THIRD FLOOR. REALLY? 332 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:14,673 I-I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE I JUST WANTED TO WIN. [ CHUCKLES ] 333 00:11:14,707 --> 00:11:16,308 I'M JASON. ALEX. 334 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:18,644 IS THIS YOUR FIRST-CHOICE SCHOOL? 335 00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:21,148 NO, I'M THINKING M.I.T. THAT'S WEIRD. 336 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,883 I LIVE JUST A HALF AN HOUR FROM THERE. 337 00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,583 WHICH EXPLAINS WHY YOU WANT TO GO HERE. 338 00:11:24,616 --> 00:11:27,386 I LIVE HERE, AND I WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE ON THE EAST COAST. 339 00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:29,355 REALLY? I'D LOVE TO BE CLOSE TO HOME. 340 00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:31,991 SUNDAY DINNERS, LAUNDRY, 341 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:33,159 MAKE SURE MY BROTHER DOESN'T MESS WITH 342 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,928 MY HAND-PAINTED CIVIL WAR MINIATURES... 343 00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,764 WHICH I DON'T CHERISH. 344 00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,932 SO WHY NOT M.I.T.? 345 00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:42,101 WELL, FOR APPLIED PHYSICS, THIS IS THE BETTER PROGRAM, 346 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:44,270 AND I'M NOT GONNA MAKE THE BIGGEST DECISION OF MY LIFE 347 00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:47,006 BASED OFF WHERE MY PARENTS LIVE. 348 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,942 OKAY, THEN. 349 00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,778 SORRY. DID THAT...SOUND JUDGEY? 350 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,346 I'M NOT REALLY GOOD AT TALKING TO PRETTY GIRLS. 351 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,581 I -- WELL, I HAVE A TOUCH OF ASPERGER'S. 352 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:56,917 NO, I DON'T. 353 00:11:56,950 --> 00:11:59,186 I JUST SAID THAT SO YOU'D THINK I WAS INTERESTING. 354 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,855 I WAS...JUST SORTA HOPING YOU'D BE GOING HERE. 355 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:04,691 REALLY? DID MY MOTHER PUT YOU UP TO THIS? 356 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,894 DOES YOUR MOM TELL BOYS TO FLIRT WITH YOU? 357 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,928 OH. YOU'RE -- YOU'RE -- YOU'RE FLIRTING WITH ME. 358 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,030 I MEAN, I DON'T MEAN TO SOUND SO SURPRISED. 359 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,599 A LOT OF BOYS FLIRT WITH ME. 360 00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:14,701 NOT A LOT. SOME. 361 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,269 ACTUALLY, ONE OF THEM HAS ASPERGER'S. 362 00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,705 HE COULD TELL YOU THE WEATHER ON THE DAY YOU WERE BORN. 363 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,041 OKAY. WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT. 364 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:25,077 THE POINT IS, I AM SINGLE, BY MY OWN CHOOSING, SO... 365 00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,245 [ ALARM BLARING ] OH, MY GOD! 366 00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:28,816 I AM FINE! I'M FINE! EVERYTHING'S FINE! 367 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:29,982 [ BLARING CONTINUES ] 368 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,888 I HAVE TO PUSH IT. IT'S ALL I CAN THINK OF. 369 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,157 JUST LET HIM PUSH IT. WHO CARES? 370 00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,091 NO ONE IS TOUCHING THIS BUTTON! 371 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,126 DON'T YOU SEE? 372 00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,995 THIS IS A TEST OF CHARACTER -- 373 00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,996 TO SEE IF WE'RE THE KIND OF PEOPLE WITH SELF-CONTROL 374 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:45,999 OR THE KIND WHO JUST GRAB AT ANY PIECE OF CHEESE 375 00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:47,100 THAT'S PUT IN FRONT OF THEM. 376 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,936 DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT DOES? 377 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,236 "WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT DOES"? 378 00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:51,938 OF COURSE I DO. IT'S KILLING ME. 379 00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,105 BUT WHAT I WANT MORE 380 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:54,673 IS FOR YOU TO LEARN TO FOLLOW THE RULES. 381 00:12:54,706 --> 00:12:57,509 IS THIS ABOUT ME SKIPPING CLASS AGAIN? 382 00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:59,778 IT'S WEIRD HOW OBSESSED YOU ARE WITH THAT. 383 00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,748 NOW LET ME PUSH THAT BUTTON! NO! 384 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,450 IF YOU CAN'T EVEN PASS A SIMPLE TEST, 385 00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:05,085 HOW ARE YOU EVER GONNA GET IN TO A GOOD COLLEGE? 386 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,854 OR HOLD DOWN A JOB? WE ONLY HAVE ONE BASEMENT. 387 00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:09,022 THERE'S NO PLACE FOR YOU TO MOVE WHEN YOUR LIFE BOTTOMS OUT! 388 00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,957 OKAY. WOW! 389 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,491 DAD, I CUT THAT CLASS 390 00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:14,594 BECAUSE I HAD TO GET ONE LAST SHOT FOR MY MOVIE. 391 00:13:14,626 --> 00:13:16,363 YOU WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME THING. 392 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,700 OH, MY GOD! 393 00:13:20,732 --> 00:13:22,168 YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME. 394 00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:25,804 YOU'RE MAD AT YOURSELF BECAUSE I'M JUST LIKE YOU. 395 00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,774 WHOA. 396 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,842 TOTAL SHOT IN THE DARK. 397 00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:32,846 YOU'RE RIGHT -- I SET A TERRIBLE EXAMPLE FOR YOU. 398 00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:35,282 NO! IT WAS AWESOME! 399 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,884 DO YOU THINK STEVE JOBS FOLLOWED EVERY RULE? 400 00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,519 DOUG HENNING? KEEP TALKING. 401 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,553 WHAT ABOUT THAT GUY WHO LIVED IN THAT TOWN 402 00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,456 WHERE PEOPLE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO DANCE? 403 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,957 DID FOOTLOOSE FOLLOW THE RULES? 404 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,159 HIS NAME WAS REN, AND HE MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT. 405 00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,495 MAYBE THAT'S WHAT THOSE SCIENTISTS ARE LOOKING FOR -- 406 00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:50,864 REBELS! 407 00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,032 YOU KNOW WHAT? 408 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,167 WHO GIVES A HOOT WHAT THOSE BASTARDS WANT? 409 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,735 NO OFFENSE. 410 00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:58,304 WE'RE GONNA BREAK EVERY RULE, AND WE'RE PUSHING THAT BUTTON! 411 00:13:58,337 --> 00:13:59,172 YEAH! 412 00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:00,840 BACK AWAY FROM THE BUTTON! 413 00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:03,176 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'VE BEEN BREAKING THE RULES MY ENTIRE LIFE, 414 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,476 AND LOOK WHERE IT'S GOTTEN ME. 415 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,812 I LIVE IN MY PARENTS' BASEMENT! 416 00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:08,380 I'M SICK OF BEING A FAILURE AT EVERYTHING! 417 00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,250 OH, MY GOD! 418 00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,851 YOU'RE NOT MAD AT US. YOU'RE MAD AT YOURSELF. 419 00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:13,953 THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING! 420 00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,423 [ SIGHS ] WHERE WERE YOU? 421 00:14:17,456 --> 00:14:18,758 CONSOLING JAY. 422 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:21,061 THAT BUNNY WASN'T THE ONLY THING YOU SHATTERED, LADY. 423 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,394 WHEN YOU FIRST STARTED DATING HIM, 424 00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,596 WHAT WAS HIS NICKNAME FOR YOU? 425 00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:25,065 SEXY PANTS. 426 00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:26,365 EW. THE OTHER ONE. 427 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:27,567 BUNNY. 428 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:33,206 OH, SO THAT'S WHY HE PUT THE BRACELET INSIDE THE BUNNY. 429 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,908 THERE WAS NO BRACELET. THE BUNNY WAS THE PRESENT. 430 00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:37,177 THAT? 431 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,879 HE MADE IT FOR YOU HIMSELF. NO. 432 00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,581 IN A POTTERY CLASS HE'S BEEN TAKING FOR WEEKS. 433 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,850 NO! AND YOU SMASHED IT ON THE COUNTER. 434 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,451 AND HE WAS TOO EMBARRASSED TO SAY ANYTHING. 435 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,220 NO! 436 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:48,587 I CAN'T TAKE IT! 437 00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,389 GLUE! OKAY, GIVE ME GLUE! 438 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:51,323 I NEED GLUE! 439 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,894 AAH! MAKE IT STOP! 440 00:14:59,966 --> 00:15:01,268 HALEY, PUT DOWN THE CHAIR. WHY SHOULD I?! 441 00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,802 BECAUSE THIS IS GETTING ABSURD, AND IT'S NO FUN BEING LAUGHED AT 442 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,972 BY A ROOM FULL OF SCIENTISTS AND A MONKEY IN A DIAPER. 443 00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:07,206 YEAH! WE NEED TO PUSH THAT BUTTON, 444 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,942 SHOW THOSE EGGHEADS THAT WE'RE NOT SHEEP! 445 00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:11,110 NO! BREAKING THE RULES DOESN'T MAKE YOU A HERO! 446 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,611 IT MAKES YOU A SCREW-UP! 447 00:15:12,644 --> 00:15:14,081 TAKE IT FROM ME, LUKE -- 448 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,783 ONE OUT OF A MILLION DROPOUTS BECOMES STEVE JOBS. 449 00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:19,152 DO YOU KNOW WHO BECOME LOSERS WITH NO JOBS? 450 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,721 THE OTHER 99,000! 451 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,789 HONEY, YOU ARE NOT A LOSER. 452 00:15:23,822 --> 00:15:24,890 OH, PLEASE. 453 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:27,326 I HEAR THE SHOTS YOU ALL TAKE AT ME. 454 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,928 I SEE MY SISTER ABOUT TO LAP ME 455 00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:32,331 AT A COLLEGE THAT I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO GET INTO. 456 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,966 EVEN SOMEONE AS DUMB AS ME 457 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,068 CAN SEE THAT I'M A GIANT FAILURE! 458 00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,004 HALEY, STOP, OKAY? 459 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,273 HALEY, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING -- 460 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:43,243 YOU HAVE VALUE, TALENT, AND POTENTIAL 461 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,677 THAT THEIR TESTS CAN'T MEASURE. 462 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,114 WHO CARES IF YOU DON'T FIT INTO THEIR LITTLE BOX. 463 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,915 YOU'RE FINDING YOUR WAY. THAT'S WHAT YOUR 20s ARE FOR -- 464 00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:50,950 TO TAKE CHANCES... 465 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,519 TO -- TO MAKE MISTAKES AND TO LEARN FROM THEM, 466 00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:55,254 AND YOU ARE LEARNING FROM THEM. 467 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,057 THE FACT THAT YOU WON'T PUSH THIS BUTTON PROVES THAT. 468 00:15:59,158 --> 00:16:00,960 THAT WAS REALLY SWEET, DAD. 469 00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,429 I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS GONNA HIT YOU 470 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,730 OVER THE HEAD WITH THAT CHAIR. 471 00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:07,500 WAIT. SO NOW WE'RE NOT PUSHING THE BUTTON? 472 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,369 NO. WE'RE SUPPORTING HALEY. 473 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,970 FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. 474 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,971 THAT IS NOT HELPFUL. 475 00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:14,673 WE NEED TO STICK TOGETHER. 476 00:16:14,706 --> 00:16:15,475 OH, MY GOD. 477 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:16,275 OH, MY GOD. 478 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:17,943 THAT'S WHAT THIS TEST IS. 479 00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:20,346 IT'S NOT ABOUT WHETHER WE PUSH THE BUTTON 480 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,014 OR DON'T PUSH THE BUTTON. 481 00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:26,019 YOU WANT TO FIND OUT IF THIS UNITES US OR DIVIDES US. 482 00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:29,456 LET'S JOIN HANDS 483 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,125 AND SEND THESE SONS OF BITCHES 484 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,894 AND THEIR FILTHY MONKEY A MESSAGE! 485 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,604 Feels good. 486 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,005 WAIT A MINUTE. 487 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:48,540 HOW ARE THEY GONNA KNOW WE'RE SENDING THEM A MESSAGE 488 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:49,808 IF WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING? 489 00:16:49,841 --> 00:16:51,644 THAT'S TRUE. 490 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,413 WE HAVE TO HIT THAT BUTTON. 491 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,681 DAMN STRAIGHT. 492 00:16:54,713 --> 00:16:56,349 MM-HMM. YEAH. 493 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,089 [ MOTOR WHIRRING ] 494 00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:05,692 [ DOOR OPENS ] 495 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:06,893 WHO DID THAT? WE DID... 496 00:17:06,925 --> 00:17:09,096 AS A FAMILY. 497 00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:10,430 DID YOU NOT SEE THE SIGN? 498 00:17:10,462 --> 00:17:12,731 NOW THE A.C. WON'T SHUT OFF. WE HAVE TO CALL A GUY. 499 00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,767 OH, I'M SORRY. IS THIS...? 500 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,867 WHAT IF, UH... 501 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,904 YEAH, BUILDING FULL OF SCIENTISTS 502 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:21,173 AND NO ONE THOUGHT TO PUSH THE BUTTON TWICE. 503 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,910 PLEASE USE NUMBER 2 PENCILS. 504 00:17:23,942 --> 00:17:27,380 [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] 505 00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,517 YEAH, JUST WALL. 506 00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,519 SO THIS IS THE...TEST. 507 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:35,087 I GOT THAT CLEARED UP WITH THE JEWELER. 508 00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:36,722 BOY, WAS HE EMBARRASSED. 509 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:37,890 WHAT'S THAT? 510 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,092 IS THAT MY BUNNY? NO. 511 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,292 I AM YOUR BUNNY. 512 00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:43,061 JAY, I DON'T WANT THAT BRACELET ANYMORE. 513 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:46,199 THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING GIFT YOU HAVE EVER GIVEN ME. 514 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,101 REALLY? YOU -- YOU -- YOU LIKE IT? 515 00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:49,035 I LOVE IT. 516 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,769 AND PUTTING IT BACK TOGETHER 517 00:17:50,802 --> 00:17:53,373 MADE ME REALIZE HOW MUCH WORK YOU PUT INTO IT. 518 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:56,075 WELL, IT -- IT'S ALL IN THE DETAILS, REALLY. 519 00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:59,145 THE BUNNY WAS IN THE CLAY. I JUST HAD TO FIND IT. 520 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:00,579 NOW I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU YOURS. 521 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,914 I THINK IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME. 522 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:05,384 AND THIS WOULD BE, UM... 523 00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:08,054 A BOOKMARK MADE OF MOVIE TICKETS 524 00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:11,557 FROM THE FIRST MOVIE WE EVER SAW TOGETHER. 525 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,593 I-I-I LOVE IT. 526 00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:15,961 IT'S THE KIND OF THING I'D NEVER GET FOR MYSELF. 527 00:18:15,994 --> 00:18:17,163 EVER. 528 00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:19,266 THIS IS WHAT WE SHOULD ALWAYS DO FOR EACH OTHER -- 529 00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:20,767 THOUGHTFUL, HANDMADE GIFTS. 530 00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:23,102 WE GET TOO CAUGHT UP IN -- IN MATERIAL POSSESSIONS. 531 00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:24,770 AH, WE GOT TOO MUCH STUFF. YEAH. 532 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,306 RETURN THIS FIRST THING TOMORROW. 533 00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:28,508 YEAH, AND I'M GONNA RETURN THE WATCH THAT I BOUGHT YOU. 534 00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:29,976 Manny: DINNER'S READY! 535 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:35,114 SO, IS THAT THE ROSE GOLD BRACELET THAT I WANTED? 536 00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,982 DYNAMITE PIECE OF JEWELRY. AND THAT WATCH -- 537 00:18:37,016 --> 00:18:40,420 IS THAT THE CERAMIC WITH THE 10-DAY, UH, POWER RESERVE? 538 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:42,189 OF COURSE. IT'S SO SEXY, THAT WATCH. 539 00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:43,522 YEAH, THE MATTE FINISH 540 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,958 DOESN'T ALWAYS CATCH THE SUN AND BLIND YOU LIKE THIS ONE. 541 00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:49,996 IT'S SO INTERESTING, 'CAUSE I LOVE SHINY THINGS ON MY WRIST. 542 00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:52,999 OH, FOR GOD SAKES, JUST KEEP THE STUPID GIFTS. 543 00:18:53,031 --> 00:18:54,467 [ SHRIEKS, LAUGHS ] 544 00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:58,104 CLAIRE: Hello? HEY, IT'S ME. [ SIGHS ] 545 00:18:58,136 --> 00:19:00,373 I THINK CAM AND I MADE A HUGE MISTAKE. 546 00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:01,840 OH, I GET IT. MARRIAGE IS TOUGH. 547 00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,009 JUST TAKE A DEEP BREATH 548 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,876 AND GO FLIRT WITH SOMEBODY AT THE GROCERY STORE. 549 00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,045 NO, ABOUT LILY. 550 00:19:06,077 --> 00:19:08,146 WE'RE TRYING TO TAKE THIS NEW FAMILY PICTURE, 551 00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:11,284 AND SHE'S DOING THIS WEIRD SMILE THING... 552 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,551 And you said something? 553 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:15,788 UH, WELL, LET'S -- LET'S JUST SAY CAM DID. 554 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,557 FIRST OF ALL, ALL KIDS GO THROUGH THIS. 555 00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:20,393 YOU SHOULD SEE EVERY PICTURE WE HAVE OF LUKE FROM THIRD GRADE. 556 00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:22,662 HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S MID-SNEEZE, WHICH IS A SHAME, 557 00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:25,198 'CAUSE I WAS HAVING A GREAT BOOB YEAR. WHAT DID YOU DO? 558 00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:27,900 I THINK IT MIGHT'VE BEEN THE BIRTH CONTROL I WAS TAKING, BUT -- 559 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,067 No, come on. About Luke! 560 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,170 OH! NOTHING. WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 561 00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:34,473 MITCHELL, I SAY THIS WITH LOVE, BUT WHEN YOU BECAME A PARENT, 562 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,909 I KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE A PROBLEM FOR YOU 563 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:38,244 'cause you like to control everything. 564 00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,078 GOOD LORD. WHAT WOULD THAT SOUND LIKE WITHOUT LOVE? 565 00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:42,382 BOTTOM LINE -- IT'S ALL GONNA WORK ITSELF OUT. 566 00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:45,852 BUT IF YOU PUSH HER ON IT, SHE'S JUST GONNA PUSH YOU AWAY. 567 00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:47,987 OH, MY GOD. 568 00:19:48,019 --> 00:19:49,855 Woman: THANKS FOR COMING, EVERYBODY. 569 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,023 AS YOU KNOW, OUR ACCEPTANCE RATE IS 8%, 570 00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:55,060 SO IN THE FALL, I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING ONE OUT OF... 571 00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,061 12.5. 12.5. 572 00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:57,230 12.5. 573 00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:59,065 So...not him. 574 00:19:59,097 --> 00:19:59,665 OKAY. 575 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,367 [ APPLAUSE ] 576 00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:06,506 WELL, I GUESS THIS IS IT, M.I.T. 577 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,540 UH, WHEN YOU VISIT BOSTON, LOOK ME UP... 578 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:09,409 DARLING. 579 00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,443 OKAY...SWEETIE. [ LAUGHS ] 580 00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:14,513 UH, T-THAT'S MY LAST NAME -- JASON DARLING. 581 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,415 OH, WELL, ALEX DUNPHY -- 582 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:18,617 "P-H" NOT "F", "Y" NOT "E-E". 583 00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:19,786 "D-U-N-P-H"... 584 00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:20,952 WHY AM I STILL TALKING? 585 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,088 [ CHUCKLES ] 586 00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,190 WELL... WELL...WELL. 587 00:20:24,222 --> 00:20:26,092 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] ALL RIGHT. 588 00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:28,795 BYE. 589 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:31,063 BYE. 590 00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,765 THERE YOU ARE. [ SIGHS ] 591 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:36,903 LISTEN, HONEY, I AM SO SORRY ABOUT PUSHING SO HARD EARLIER. 592 00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:39,372 IF ANYONE IS ABLE TO MAKE A SMART DECISION 593 00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,807 ABOUT WHERE TO GO TO SCHOOL, IT'S YOU... 594 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:45,111 EVEN IF THAT SCHOOL IS ALL THE WAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COUNTRY. 595 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:48,079 ACTUALLY, THERE'S A LOT TO LIKE HERE. 596 00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,115 REALLY?! 597 00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:50,549 [ LAUGHS ] 598 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,218 THAT'S COOL. 599 00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:53,286 WHATEVER. 600 00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,655 I GUESS THERE'S SOMEBODY AROUND HERE 601 00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,990 SHE'S NOT READY TO SAY GOODBYE TO. 602 00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:01,093 HE FRIENDED ME! 603 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:06,432 OKAY, COME ON. WE HAVE SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU. 604 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,934 IS IT DINNER, OR IS MY MOUTH TOO UGLY TO PUT FOOD IN? OKAY, NO. 605 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,170 AND PLEASE DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT YOURSELF. 606 00:21:11,202 --> 00:21:14,807 YOU PICKED ONE? WE SURE DID, AND WE'RE SORRY WE MADE YOU FEEL BAD. 607 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,643 WE JUST WEREN'T USED TO YOUR NEW SMILE, 608 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:18,109 BUT NOW WE ARE, AND WE LOVE IT! 609 00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,078 YES, IT'S BEAUTIFUL, AND YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, 610 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,080 AND WE DON'T WANT TO CHANGE A SINGLE THING ABOUT YOU. 611 00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:23,950 EXCEPT MAYBE YOUR UNDERPANTS. 612 00:21:23,982 --> 00:21:26,786 [ LAUGHS OBNOXIOUSLY ] 613 00:21:26,818 --> 00:21:29,821 Okay. Where did that laugh come from? I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT'S GOT TO GO.