1 00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,003 OKAY, LILY, BALLET AT 11:00, 2 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:06,139 THEN A PLAYDATE, THEN KARATE CLASS AT 3:00, 3 00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:07,908 SO WHY DON'T YOU GO GET YOUR UNIFORM? 4 00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:09,143 [ Singsongy ] CHOP CHOP! 5 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,378 CAM. WHAT? 6 00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:12,179 SHE'S IN KARATE. IT'S NOT OFFENSIVE. 7 00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:14,381 DEBATABLE, BUT WHY WOULD YOU SCHEDULE ALL THIS EXTRA STUFF 8 00:00:14,414 --> 00:00:15,816 ON THE SAME DAY AS HER TALENT SHOW? 9 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:18,018 OKAY, ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF OVERSCHEDULING 10 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:20,019 OUR TONE-DEAF DAUGHTER SO SHE'S SO TIRED 11 00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:22,856 SHE MISSES THE TALENT SHOW AND DOESN'T HUMILIATE HERSELF? 12 00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,257 LILY HAS NO TALENT. 13 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:27,094 BECAUSE SHE'S 7. NO ONE HAS TALENT AT 7. 14 00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:28,428 I DID. TONS OF IT. 15 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:31,332 SHEEP-SHEARING, CORNHUSKING, HAY-BALING. 16 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,667 IT WAS HARD FOR ME TO PICK JUST ONE TO SHOWCASE 17 00:00:33,701 --> 00:00:35,503 AT MY FIRST LITTLE PRINCE PAGEANT. 18 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,271 IN THE END, I WENT WITH WALTZING. 19 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,771 YOU WALTZED AT 7? 20 00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,408 BARELY. MY PARTNER HAD TWO LEFT HOOVES. HMM. 21 00:00:40,441 --> 00:00:42,009 [ Singsongy ] I GOT IT! 22 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,112 [ Normal voice ] HEY, WAIT. ISN'T MY TALENT SHOW TODAY? 23 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,945 OH, WHO KNOWS? BUT LET'S GO RIDE SOME PONIES. 24 00:00:45,978 --> 00:00:48,115 NO, NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT IS TODAY, 25 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,250 AND SINCE YOU HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF TIME BEFORE BALLET... [ BAG THUDS ] 26 00:00:50,283 --> 00:00:52,219 WHY DON'T YOU TWO DO A LITTLE BIT OF WARMING UP? 27 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,554 MAESTRO? COME ON. 28 00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,189 OH, OKAY, GREAT. THANK YOU. YEAH, YEAH. 29 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:56,923 SO, LILY, CAN YOU MEET ME HERE AT... 30 00:00:56,957 --> 00:00:58,459 * C? [ PLAYS C KEY ] 31 00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:01,929 [ Off-key ] * C * NOW DADDY'S LONELY 32 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,396 * I'M THERE WITH YOU 33 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,766 * NO, YOU'RE NOT, YOU'RE NOT EVEN CLOSE * 34 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,269 * THIS CAN'T POSSIBLY SOUND THE SAME TO YOU * [ PRESSING C KEY REPEATEDLY ] 35 00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:11,037 * MAYBE I CAN HELP, DADDY IS ALSO HERE AT... * 36 00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,406 Both: * C 37 00:01:12,439 --> 00:01:13,641 [ Off-key ] * C 38 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,242 * NO, THAT'S NOT EVEN A NOTE * 39 00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,277 * I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE * 40 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,978 * THAT SEEMS A LITTLE BIT SHARP * 41 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:20,914 * I'M NEVER SHARP, I'M PITCH-PERFECT * 42 00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,317 * I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR TONE TOWARD OUR DAUGHTER * 43 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:27,320 * I CAN UNDERSTAND YOU EVEN WHEN YOU'RE SINGING * 44 00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:30,323 *** 45 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:33,426 -- Captions by VITAC -- 46 00:01:39,932 --> 00:01:43,170 [ GAME PLAYING INDISTINCTLY ON TV ] 47 00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:45,004 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 48 00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:49,576 I AM GATHERING EVERY BINKY THAT IS IN THIS HOUSE, 49 00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:53,947 BECAUSE FROM TODAY ON, JOE IS GOING COLD TURKEY. 50 00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:57,450 OKAY, JOE, HAVE YOUR LAST PUFF IF YOU WANT. 51 00:01:57,484 --> 00:02:00,087 [ JOE CRYING ] GLORIA, I'M TRYING TO WATCH SOMETHING HERE. 52 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,421 [ SIGHS ] 53 00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:03,623 OKAY, YOU CAN KEEP CRYING ALL YOU WANT. 54 00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:06,959 I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING. TRY GROWING UP IN COLOMBIA. 55 00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:08,762 MY BINKY WAS A SPARK PLUG. 56 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,631 LUKE, HOW COULD YOU FORGET YOUR BATHING SUIT? 57 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:11,965 YOU CAME OVER HERE TO SWIM. 58 00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:13,433 IT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY. HE CAN WEAR MINE. 59 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,102 I'LL BORROW FROM JAY. 60 00:02:15,134 --> 00:02:16,503 YOU HAVE A FAVORITE I SHOULD KEEP MY HANDS OFF OF, JAY? 61 00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:18,639 THAT SHIP SAILED ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO. 62 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:20,640 HA HA! ZINGER! 63 00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,841 SAVE SOME OF THAT CHARM 64 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,644 FOR OUR COMMERCIAL SHOOT TODAY, DAD, HUH? 65 00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:27,615 Women: * CLOSETS, CLOSETS, CLOSETS, CLOSETS * 66 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,149 YOU SEE WHAT OUR COMPETITION'S AIRING? 67 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:30,683 SEE THE LASERS? SPECIAL EFFECTS? 68 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,552 I'LL BET THEY SPENT 5 MILLION BUCKS ON THAT THING. 69 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,388 DON'T WORRY, DAD. THE CONCEPT I CAME UP WITH 70 00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,389 IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEIRS. WE'RE SCRAPPING IT. 71 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:37,724 WHAT? I WORKED FOR TWO MONTHS ON THAT. 72 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,026 SORRY. WE GOTTA GO WITH WHAT'S PROVEN. 73 00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:42,195 WE'RE REMAKING MY OLD COMMERCIAL. 74 00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:44,465 30 YEARS AGO, MY DAD WAS IN A LOCAL AD 75 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,134 FOR PRITCHETT'S CLOSETS, AND HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN 76 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,370 REALLY PROUD OF THE SLOGAN HE CAME UP WITH. 77 00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:51,805 I'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHAT IT MEANS. 78 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,906 [ 1980s-STYLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING ] Man: PRITCHETT'S CLOSETS -- 79 00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:55,209 CHOOSE ONE OF OUR NINE LUXURIOUS MODELS 80 00:02:55,242 --> 00:02:56,843 LIKE THE MONTE CARLO. 81 00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,746 OR HOW ABOUT A CUSTOM DESIGN 82 00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:01,681 USING OUR STATE-OF-THE-ART TECHNOLOGY? 83 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,317 COME VISIT PRITCHETT'S 84 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:04,985 AND GO HOME WITH THE CLOSET OF YOUR DREAMS. 85 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:08,556 CLOSET? YOU'LL LOVE IT! 86 00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:11,425 [ CHUCKLES ] THE ENTIRE TOWN WENT NUTS FOR THAT AD. 87 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:13,260 PEOPLE STOPPED ME IN THE STREET, 88 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,995 ASKING ME TO SAY THE SLOGAN. 89 00:03:15,027 --> 00:03:16,864 ARE YOU SURE THEY WEREN'T ASKING YOU TO EXPLAIN IT? 90 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,098 WHAT'S TO EXPLAIN? 91 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,066 INSTEAD OF "LIKE IT? YOU'LL LOVE IT," 92 00:03:19,098 --> 00:03:20,401 YOU USE THE WORD "CLOSET." 93 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:21,901 THEN WHY NOT, "LIKE IT? YOU'LL CLOSET!"? 94 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,236 THAT MAKES NO SENSE. 95 00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:25,906 LOOK, I KNOW IT WAS ROUGH ON YOU AND MITCH 96 00:03:25,938 --> 00:03:27,540 HAVING A FAMOUS DAD, 97 00:03:27,574 --> 00:03:29,377 YOU KNOW, GETTING YOUR PICTURE TAKEN IN RESTAURANTS. 98 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,378 THAT HAPPENED ONE TIME, DAD, ONLY BECAUSE WE WERE EATING 99 00:03:31,412 --> 00:03:33,079 WITH RALPH BERMAN, "GARAGE DOOR OPENER KING." 100 00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:34,747 HEY, HE WAS EATING WITH US. 101 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,384 [ SIGHS ] THE POINT IS, 102 00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:39,019 THAT AD SCORED FOR US, AND IT WILL AGAIN. 103 00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:40,721 SO WE'RE GONNA FLUSH ALL MY HARD WORK 104 00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,723 BECAUSE YOU GOT FREAKED OUT BY SOME COMMERCIAL 105 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,091 THAT'S NOT EVEN THAT CATCHY. 106 00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:46,493 [ HUMMING ] * CLOSETS, CLOSETS 107 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,063 ALL RIGHT, GET THERE! 108 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,966 UGH! 109 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,269 HEY, IF YOU REALLY WANNA IMPRESS BETH WHEN SHE GETS HERE, 110 00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:56,969 YOU SHOULD TRY FOR THAT GIANT ELEPHANT. 111 00:03:57,003 --> 00:03:58,872 OH, PENGUIN'S JUST AS GOOD. 112 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,741 [ BALL BOUNCES ] 113 00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,377 MONEY! AAH! 114 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:06,280 I JUST SPENT A LOT OF MONEY. A LOT. 115 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,115 SORRY. I HAD TO CHECK IN AT THE JOB. 116 00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:10,384 ALWAYS SOMETHING GOING DOWN AT THE HUT. MM. 117 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,419 YOU WORK AT THE HUT? I WOULD GUESS PIZZA, 118 00:04:12,453 --> 00:04:14,421 BUT BASED ON YOUR RIPPLY STOMACH I SAW 119 00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:16,790 WHEN YOU HELPED ME GET DOWN OFF THE GONDOLA RIDE, 120 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,459 I'M GONNA GUESS... SUNGLASS HUT. 121 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,293 YEP, CHASE PICKED OUT THESE VINTAGE-Y SUNGLASSES 122 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:21,829 THAT LOOK LIKE I COULD'VE BEEN MURDERED 123 00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,262 AT A COOL HOUSE PARTY IN THE '70s. 124 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:24,964 OOH, YOU'VE BEEN FRAMED. 125 00:04:24,997 --> 00:04:27,435 [ LAUGHS ] YOU SHOULD USE THAT. 126 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:29,637 HMM? AT YOUR JOB AT THE HUT. 127 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,271 [ LAUGHS ] YOU JUST SAID "JABBA THE HUT." 128 00:04:31,305 --> 00:04:33,005 I'M REALLY LOST HERE, GUYS. 129 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,742 OH! [ INHALES SHARPLY ] OH! THAT SMARTS. 130 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:39,413 AGAIN? YEAH. UH, IT'S PROBABLY JUST MOTION SICKNESS. 131 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:41,014 [ CELL PHONE RINGING ] UH, YEAH, THE MOTION OF SHOVING DEEP FRIED GARBAGE 132 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,783 IN YOUR MOUTH ALL DAY. 133 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:46,286 [ CHUCKLES ] IT'S MY MANAGER AGAIN. SHE'S ALWAYS ON ME. 134 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:49,423 CAN'T WAIT TILL THE FALL WHEN SHE'S OFF TO COLLEGE. 135 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,423 YEAH, MAUREEN? 136 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,191 [ GROANS ] 137 00:04:51,223 --> 00:04:52,759 BETH'S NOT COMING. 138 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,995 SHE'S TOO TIRED TO DRIVE UP FROM SAN DIEGO. 139 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,665 SO THIS BETH, WHO I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY MET, 140 00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:00,701 IS SHE ONE OF THOSE REAL-LIFE MOVE-AROUND GIRLS? 141 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:02,870 HA HA. YOU KNOW SHE'S A REAL GIRL. 142 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,838 FINE, BUT, YOU KNOW, SHE FLEW ALL THE WAY OVER HERE 143 00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:07,608 FOR SOME COAST GUARD TRAINING. 144 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,009 SHE CAN'T DRIVE A COUPLE HOURS TO SEE YOU? 145 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,211 SHE'S BEEN SAVING DROWNING MANNEQUINS ALL MORNING, 146 00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,713 AND SOME OF THEM ARE PLUS-SIZED, 147 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,783 BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE FALL OFF CRUISE SHIPS. 148 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,117 OKAY, BUT DOESN'T IT BOTHER YOU 149 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:20,653 THAT SHE'S FLAKED FOR, LIKE, THE HUNDREDTH TIME? 150 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:23,223 I KNOW YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BETH, 151 00:05:23,255 --> 00:05:25,725 BUT WHAT WE HAVE WORKS FOR ME, OKAY? 152 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,860 AND IF WE'RE POINTING FINGERS... 153 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,297 I WANT YOU TO HELP ME FIND MY KEYS. 154 00:05:30,329 --> 00:05:31,699 WAIT. SHH. 155 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,199 THEY'RE IN MY JACKET. OKAY. 156 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:34,634 GOT IT. 157 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,836 [ WHIRRING ] 158 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,338 MOM, THAT PERV IS OGLING YOU AGAIN. 159 00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,740 NO! I WAS READING MY HOROSCOPE. 160 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:44,076 "YOU WILL BORROW A HUGE SWIMSUIT TODAY." WHAT? 161 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:48,415 AY, NO, THE PLANE! THE PLANE! IT'S ALWAYS SPYING ON ME! 162 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:51,752 GO AWAY OR I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICEMAN! 163 00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:53,920 WOW, DON'T EVEN WASTE YOUR TIME, GLORIA. 164 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,156 JOHNNY LAW'S GOT NO CHANCE WITH THAT BABY. 165 00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,990 YOU'RE LOOKING AT A FREELING CLOUDGAZER 166 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,192 WITH AFTER-MARKET FREQUENCY SCRAMBLER. UNTRACEABLE. 167 00:06:00,226 --> 00:06:02,062 AS YOU CAN GUESS, I'M A DRONER MYSELF. 168 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,264 YES, YOU'RE DRONING RIGHT NOW. AY, IT'S GETTING CLOSER! 169 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,199 MOM, MAYBE YOU SHOULD COVER UP. 170 00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:09,737 NO! THAT'S CRAZY. WE CAN JUST KNOCK IT OUT OF THE SKY. 171 00:06:09,769 --> 00:06:10,803 MANNY, GRAB THE HOSE. 172 00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:14,374 I'LL USE THIS TO BLIND IT. 173 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,509 MY EYES! 174 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,011 MY EYES! OH! 175 00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,047 OH! [ High-pitched voice ] AAH! 176 00:06:20,079 --> 00:06:23,250 [ WHIRS ] 177 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,519 AND JUST LIKE THAT, IT DISAPPEARS. 178 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,456 IN HIS DEFENSE, THE WATER'S REALLY COLD. 179 00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,062 [ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ] OH! YOU'RE STILL REHEARSING. 180 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,598 WE SURE ARE, AND WE FOUND A MORE APPROPRIATE SONG 181 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:38,932 FOR LILY'S SINGING VOICE. 182 00:06:38,966 --> 00:06:41,201 REALLY? WELL, I'D LOVE TO HEAR IT. OKAY. 183 00:06:41,233 --> 00:06:44,403 * EVERYBODY WAS KUNG FU FIGHTING * 184 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,872 HYAH! HYAH! 185 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,042 * THOSE KICKS WERE FAST AS LIGHTNING * 186 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,543 HYAH! HYAH! 187 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,545 * IN FACT, IT WAS A LITTLE BIT FRIGHTENING * 188 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:56,149 OKAY, STOP, STOP, STOP. NO, COME ON. NO. NO! [ STOPS PLAYING ] 189 00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:58,651 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. SHE'S NOT EVEN SINGING. 190 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,319 SHE WASN'T SINGING BEFORE EITHER. 191 00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,656 OKAY, GO GET SOME WATER. CAM. 192 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:05,625 MITCHELL, I JUST DON'T WANT HER TO EMBARRASS HERSELF 193 00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:08,495 IN FRONT OF HER FRIENDS, NOT TO MENTION THE PARENTS. 194 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:11,298 I CAN ALREADY HEAR ANDREW'S CONDESCENDING, "HMM." 195 00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:13,966 OH, MY GOSH. YOU'RE STILL COMPETING WITH ANDREW. 196 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,401 HE STAGED A COUP, MITCHELL. 197 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,637 HE FORCED ME OUT OF THE GROUP I FOUNDED. 198 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,673 I FOUNDED IT. THE GREENSLEEVERS WERE 199 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:22,643 SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA'S PREMIER HOLIDAY CHORUS 200 00:07:22,675 --> 00:07:24,411 AND "JUST THE NUTMEG WE WANT 201 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,680 OUR YULETIDE EGGNOG DUSTED WITH" -- 202 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,649 "L.A. TIMES," DECEMBER 23, 199-- I REMEMBER. 203 00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:32,185 OH, I REMEMBER. I REMEMBER. 204 00:07:32,218 --> 00:07:34,153 SO YOU'RE NOT WORRIED ABOUT LILY EMBARRASSING HERSELF. 205 00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:35,822 YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT LILY EMBARRASSING YOU. 206 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,324 NOT SO MUCH NOW THAT SHE'S NOT SINGING. OH. 207 00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:39,627 HEY. LILY IS GONNA SING WHATEVER SHE WANTS, 208 00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:43,196 AND YOU'RE GONNA GET OVER THIS THING WITH ANDREW... [ SIGHS DEEPLY ] 209 00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:45,197 BECAUSE A GROWN MAN SHOULD NOT HAVE A NEMESIS. 210 00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:47,100 IT'S RIDICULOUS. YOU KNOW WHAT'S RIDICULOUS? 211 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,269 IS BEING FORCED TO TURN IN YOUR JINGLE BELLS 212 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,139 TO A MAN WITH LESS VOCAL RANGE THAN A TEAKETTLE. [ PLAYS DESCENDING SCALE ] 213 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,542 HYAH! 214 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:58,045 [ CRYING ] [ FOOTSTEPS APPROACH ] 215 00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,379 HI. 216 00:07:59,411 --> 00:08:00,680 OH, I THOUGHT YOU HAD A DATE. 217 00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:01,982 I DID, BUT I BAILED. 218 00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,283 HE'S NOT EXACTLY THE SHARPEST SHED. 219 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,451 WHAT IS HIS DEAL? 220 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,620 I TOOK HIS PACIFIER HOURS AGO, 221 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,624 AND HE'S STILL CRYING. HE'S BEING SUCH A BABY. 222 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,358 WELL, MAYBE HE'S JUST NOT READY TO GIVE THEM UP. 223 00:08:12,391 --> 00:08:15,629 NO, I PROMISED MY MOTHER THAT HE WOULDN'T USE IT ANYMORE. 224 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,297 HER UNCLE USED IT UNTIL HE WAS 4, 225 00:08:17,329 --> 00:08:18,899 AND NOW HE'S IN JAIL. 226 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,535 I FEEL LIKE A LOT OF YOUR FAMILY STORIES END THAT WAY. 227 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:23,202 I'M GONNA PUT ON A BATHING SUIT. 228 00:08:23,235 --> 00:08:24,872 [ CRYING CONTINUES ] HI, MANNY. 229 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:26,473 PLEASE STICK JOE IN FRONT OF THE TV. 230 00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:28,175 HE ALWAYS CALMS DOWN WHEN HE LISTENS TO... 231 00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:31,043 * CLOSETS, CLOSETS, CLOSETS, CLOSETS * 232 00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:34,213 DAD, YOU MIGHT WANNA SEE THIS. [ CLICKS BUTTON ] 233 00:08:34,246 --> 00:08:36,082 OH! 234 00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,150 [ WATER SPLASHES, POOL SKIMMER CLANKS ] 235 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,351 HE PUT US ON YouTube? 236 00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:40,419 HE CALLED IT 237 00:08:40,452 --> 00:08:41,855 "DRONE 1, IDIOT 0." 238 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,657 IT HAS 32,000 VIEWS. 239 00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:45,558 WE HAVE TO STRIKE BACK. 240 00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:49,229 THAT DRONE JUST MESSED WITH THE WRONG IDIOT. 241 00:08:49,261 --> 00:08:51,831 [ CELL PHONE CHIMES ] [ SIGHS ] 242 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,200 [ GASPS ] 243 00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:54,934 ANDY'S IN THE HOSPITAL. 244 00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:56,102 WHAT? WHY? 245 00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:57,437 APPENDICITIS. 246 00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:01,041 IS HE OKAY? MAYBE I SHOULD GO DOWN THERE. 247 00:09:01,073 --> 00:09:02,375 THIS IS NOT GOOD. 248 00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:04,945 MY SECOND COUSIN GOT APPENDICITIS, 249 00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:07,847 AND NOW HE'S IN JAIL. [ CELL PHONE CLATTERS ] 250 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:08,782 HMM. 251 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:12,219 CLOSET? YOU'LL LOVE IT. 252 00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:14,587 Man: AND...CUT. 253 00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,188 UH, THAT WAS GREAT, JAY. 254 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,424 LET'S TRY IT AGAIN. MAYBE A LITTLE LIGHTER. 255 00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:19,759 LIGHTER. YEAH. 256 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,761 JUST, YOU KNOW, HAPPIER, WARMER. 257 00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:24,664 EVEN MORE? ALL RIGHT. 258 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:29,201 FROM JAY'S LINE. HERE WE GO. AND... 259 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,236 ACTION. 260 00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:33,306 CLOSET? YOU'LL LOVE IT! CUT. 261 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,875 [ Under breath ] YOU SEE THAT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME, RIGHT? I DO. 262 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,309 SO WHAT DOES IT MEAN? I DON'T KNOW. 263 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,645 SO DO WE HAVE IT? UM... 264 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:40,413 I GAVE YOU, LIKE, 10 DIFFERENT CHOICES. 265 00:09:40,447 --> 00:09:42,481 LET'S NOT OVERTHINK THIS, HUH? JUST PICK ONE. 266 00:09:42,514 --> 00:09:44,985 OKAY. WELL...GIVE HIM A MINUTE. 267 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,286 HE'LL CALM DOWN. SURE. 268 00:09:46,318 --> 00:09:47,821 UH, HEY, CLAIRE? YES. YEAH. 269 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,088 SO WE WERE JUST TALKING, 270 00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:51,258 AND STRICTLY FROM A MARKETING STANDPOINT, 271 00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:53,826 DO YOU THINK JAY IS, UM... HE STINKS. 272 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,163 HE'S THE WORST. SO BAD. [ GRUNTS ] 273 00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:59,566 AND, UM...STRICTLY FROM A KEEPING-MY-JOB STANDPOINT, 274 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,235 IT WOULD BE SO DOPE IF YOU TOLD HIM THAT. 275 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,336 OH. OH, GOD. I CAN'T FIRE MY DAD! 276 00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,438 I KNOW. I KNOW. IT MUST BE HARD, 277 00:10:06,472 --> 00:10:09,009 BUT YOU REALIZE IT'S THE BEST THING FOR THE COMPANY. 278 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,442 YES, I DO. OKAY. 279 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:11,845 CAN I AT LEAST COUNT ON YOU TO BACK ME UP? 280 00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:13,080 TOTALLY. COME ON. 281 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,514 WE BOTH KNOW YOUR DAD IS INCREDIBLE. 282 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:15,481 DO YOU SEE HIM TODAY? HE'S LIKE GEORGE CLOONEY 283 00:10:15,514 --> 00:10:17,149 BUT OLDER, BUT BETTER. 284 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,687 I... [ INHALES DEEPLY ] THOUGHT THAT WAS JAY. I'M SORRY. 285 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,489 OH, MAN. ALMOST FAINTED. [ EXHALES ] 286 00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,524 JUST GONNA PUT MY HEAD BETWEEN MY LEGS. 287 00:10:25,557 --> 00:10:27,193 PLENTY OF ROOM DOWN THERE. [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] 288 00:10:27,226 --> 00:10:28,327 [ POP ] 289 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,963 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 290 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:33,299 WE'LL NOW TAKE A BREAK TO SWEEP UP THE CONFETTI 291 00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:35,534 THAT WAS DEFINITELY NOT MENTIONED IN DRESS REHEARSAL. 292 00:10:35,567 --> 00:10:37,169 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 293 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:40,006 OKAY, HERE COMES ANDREW. JUST ACT LIKE WE DON'T CARE 294 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,142 ABOUT THE WHOLE GREENSLEEVERS THING. 295 00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:44,177 OOH, I HOPE I COULD PULL THIS OFF. 296 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,345 CAMERON. 297 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,547 ANDREW. ENJOYABLE SHOW. 298 00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,450 SO DID YOU... DIRECT? NO, NOT THIS YEAR. 299 00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:51,719 AH, I DIDN'T THINK SO. 300 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:52,985 YOU'RE... 301 00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,354 SO WE'RE REALLY ENJOYING THE SHOW, TOO. 302 00:10:54,386 --> 00:10:56,188 IT'S ALL ABOUT THE KIDS, YOU KNOW. 303 00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,390 SORRY. THEY ONLY HAD FLAT. 304 00:10:58,424 --> 00:11:00,527 MITCHELL. 305 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:02,394 SIMON. 306 00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:05,231 TURNS OUT RECENTLY, ANDREW MARRIED SIMON. 307 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:07,634 MY BITTER RIVAL FROM LAW SCHOOL. 308 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,500 OR...NEMESIS? 309 00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:09,903 I'VE... [ GROANS ] 310 00:11:09,937 --> 00:11:12,806 SO HOW'S WORK? I'M SURE YOU HEARD I MADE PARTNER 311 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,375 AT GOTSHAL, MANGES, FLOM, ARPS, & LeBOEUF. 312 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,376 AND I'M ACTUALLY AT THE JUSTICE INSTITUTE NOW. 313 00:11:17,409 --> 00:11:18,979 SO REWARDING. 314 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:22,514 OH, I THINK OUR FIRM DONATED ONE OF OUR OLD FAX MACHINES 315 00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:23,416 TO YOU GUYS. 316 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,418 *** 317 00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,019 WE BETTER GO. WE'RE MOVING CLOSER 318 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,889 BECAUSE OUR DAUGHTER'S ABOUT TO PERFORM. 319 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:30,823 YOURS IS FROM VIETNAM, RIGHT? MM-HMM. 320 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:34,326 WE WERE ABLE TO ADOPT ONE FROM KOREA. 321 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,863 SO... 322 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:40,332 DID HE REALLY JUST END A CONVERSATION ON "SO..."? 323 00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:41,500 LET'S JUST TAKE OUR SEATS. 324 00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:42,836 NO, CAM, I-I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS 325 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,738 THE MOST SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENT FOR LILY TO -- 326 00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:46,874 I AGREE. LET'S GET HER OUT OF THE SHOW. OKAY. YEAH. 327 00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,240 AND ARE KOREANS REALLY BETTER? 328 00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,942 I DON'T KNOW. 329 00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,778 [ DRONE WHIRRING ] 330 00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:55,648 CHICKEN'S IN THE POT. I REPEAT, WE HAVE EYES ON THE CHICKEN. 331 00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:00,052 EAT PAINT. [ GRUNTS ] DAMN IT. I MISSED. 332 00:12:00,086 --> 00:12:01,221 LUKE, GRAVITY! 333 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,789 SHUT UP, NERD! OW! OW! 334 00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:05,926 PLAN "B"! IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM, DRONE 'EM! 335 00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:07,927 ACTIVATE VOICE CONTROL! 336 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,129 [ WHIRRING ] 337 00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:10,730 FORWARD 10 FEET. 338 00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,765 OH! IT'S ATTACKING! GET DOWN! 339 00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:16,036 DAMN IT. DEACTIVATE VOICE CONTROL! 340 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:19,639 PLAN "C"! FOLLOW IT HOME! 341 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:21,808 HURRY UP! 342 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,543 HEY! THAT'S MY BIKE! 343 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:27,379 WE'RE ALL MAKING SACRIFICES! I'M WEARING A MONOKINI! 344 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,481 HEY, LIZZIE! WHOA! AAH! 345 00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:32,284 OKAY, I NEED TO BORROW THIS, OKAY? 346 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,086 HERE, JUST -- ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 347 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,288 I PROMISE TO BRING IT BACK, ALL RIGHT? 348 00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:39,091 NO, THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY MOM'S HUMIDIFIER! 349 00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,659 [ DRONE WHIRRING ] 350 00:12:40,692 --> 00:12:42,729 HE'S HEADING FOR THE RIVER TO TRY AND LOSE US. 351 00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:44,965 DAMN YOU, DENISE, AT THE PATENT OFFICE 352 00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:46,399 FOR STALLING MY AquaBike! 353 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,000 LOOK OUT! 354 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,568 OW! 355 00:12:49,601 --> 00:12:51,071 YOU OKAY? 356 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,173 IT'S GONNA TAKE MORE THAN A LITTLE TRUCK TO ST-- 357 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,573 All: AAH! 358 00:12:54,606 --> 00:12:56,844 OHH! OW! 359 00:12:56,876 --> 00:13:00,013 OW. ARE YOU GUYS OKAY? YEAH. 360 00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,748 THIS ISN'T OVER YET! YOU KNOW THAT! 361 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:02,682 AAH! OH, GOD! DAD! 362 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:03,283 AAH! PHIL! 363 00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:11,924 OHH! OW! OW! OW! 364 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,592 "DRONE 2, IDIOTS ZERO." 365 00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:15,095 COME ON! 366 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,931 AT LEAST IT'S FAR AWAY SO YOU CAN'T TELL IT'S US. 367 00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,966 YEAH. [ COMPUTER BLOOPS ] 368 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,934 OH, GREAT. ANOTHER COMMENT. 369 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:24,636 "L.O.L. THAT'S MY REALTOR, PHIL D--" 370 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,139 OKAY, LET'S JUST GRAB HER AND GO. 371 00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:27,307 SHE'S UP AFTER THE NEXT ACT. 372 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,841 HEY, WE'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING. 373 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,509 YOU CAN DEVELOP DEEP EMOTIONAL SCARS AT AGE 7. 374 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,778 I STILL CAN'T EAT -- 375 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,212 SALT AND VINEGAR CHIPS. YES, I KNOW. 376 00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:34,713 I CAN'T RELIVE THIS WITH YOU RIGHT NOW. 377 00:13:34,746 --> 00:13:36,884 I'M SORRY. OKAY. 378 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,717 LOOK AT HER. 379 00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:41,955 YEAH. ADD MOUTH-CATCHING TO THINGS SHE CAN'T DO. 380 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,856 NO. I MEAN, SHE'S NOT NERVOUS AT ALL, 381 00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:46,125 AND LOOK AT THE OTHER KIDS. THEY'RE A WRECK. 382 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,061 YOU KNOW, SHE MAY NOT HAVE GOTTEN OUR TALENT, 383 00:13:48,095 --> 00:13:50,197 BUT SHE DIDN'T GET OUR SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS EITHER. 384 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:54,201 OH. WELL, WE'RE NOT GIVING HER OUR SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS. 385 00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:56,635 TODAY IS HER DAY, AND SHE IS -- 386 00:13:56,668 --> 00:13:58,871 SHE IS GONNA SING. COME ON. 387 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:01,908 *** 388 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:07,679 [ Amplified voice ] HI. MY MOM'S DOING CHEMO, 389 00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,082 SO I SHAVED MY HEAD TO BE LIKE HER. 390 00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:13,153 THIS IS FOR YOU, MOM. 391 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,923 [ Voice belting ] * AND I 392 00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,591 * I 393 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:22,428 * WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU 394 00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:24,563 * OOH, OOH 395 00:14:24,596 --> 00:14:27,200 HEY, HEY, WE GOT A PROBLEM. WHAT'S WRONG, SWEETIE? 396 00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,235 I CAN'T GO AFTER HER. ARE YOU KIDDING? 397 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:32,871 OKAY, WELL, HONEY, WE CAN'T JUST LEAVE RIGHT NOW. 398 00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:36,509 SORRY, GOTTA RUN. MAYA'S FEELING A BIT FEVERISH. 399 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,111 OH, WELL, I GUESS SOME PEOPLE CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT. 400 00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:42,581 * ...WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU 401 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,551 [ Under breath ] CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? NO. 402 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,885 OKAY, NOW WE CAN LEAVE. LET'S GO OUT THE SIDE DOOR. OKAY. 403 00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:49,889 HEY, DAD, I -- 404 00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,224 I TRIED TO GRAB YOU AFTER THE SHOOT, 405 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:52,359 BUT YOU JUST FLEW OUT OF THERE. 406 00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,625 I DIDN'T WANT IT TO SEEM LIKE 407 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,227 I WAS HANGING AROUND FOR COMPLIMENTS. 408 00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:58,230 THERE -- THERE WAS SOME DISCUSSION AFTER YOU LEFT. 409 00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:00,100 KEEP IT MOVING, BUDDY! UM... 410 00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:03,971 A-A FEW PEOPLE FEEL THAT YOU CAME ACROSS A LITTLE -- 411 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:05,605 SIGN SAYS "NO MENUS"! 412 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,474 WHAT'D YOU SAY? 413 00:15:07,506 --> 00:15:08,408 UH... 414 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,741 THE GROUP THINKS 415 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:12,479 THAT MAYBE IT WOULD BE FOR THE BEST 416 00:15:12,511 --> 00:15:15,581 IF -- IF SOMEONE ELSE WAS OUR SPOKESMAN. 417 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,116 IT'S CALLED PRITCHETT'S CLOSETS. 418 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:18,784 YEAH, I KNOW, BUT YOU WERE COMING OFF 419 00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:20,787 JUST A TINY BIT -- DAMN KIDS. 420 00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,054 IT'S MINE NOW! 421 00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:23,623 TINY BIT GRUMPY. GRUMPY? 422 00:15:23,655 --> 00:15:24,991 THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A LITTLE GRUFF. 423 00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:26,826 THAT'S HOW YOU ARE. 424 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,827 BUT WHEN IT COMES TO SELLING, DAD -- WHAT DO YOU MEAN -- 425 00:15:28,860 --> 00:15:30,397 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HOW I AM? 426 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:31,798 IS THAT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME, THAT I'M SOME BIG GRUMP? 427 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,665 DAD, THAT CANNOT BE A BIG SHOCK. 428 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,802 THE KIDS CALL YOU "GRUMPA." SINCE WHEN? 429 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:38,238 NOT TO YOUR FACE? [ Whispers ] COWARDS. 430 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:42,442 SO IF I GET "GRUMPA," WHAT DO THEY CALL PHIL'S DAD? 431 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:45,611 YOU KNOW, JUST... "FUNPA." 432 00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:48,847 THAT MOUND OF HUMAN SILLY STRING GETS "FUNPA"? 433 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,783 THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE, DAD. NO, NO, I KNOW WHAT THE ISSUE IS. 434 00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:53,952 YOU'RE SAYING I'M NOT WARM AND CUDDLY ENOUGH 435 00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:55,488 TO SELL CLOSETS ANYMORE. 436 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,289 IT'S A DAY THAT EVERY FATHER KNOWS MAY COME 437 00:15:57,323 --> 00:15:58,490 BUT HOPES IT NEVER WILL. 438 00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,126 ARE WE SURE EVERY FATHER -- 439 00:16:00,159 --> 00:16:01,561 STOP HURTING ME! OH! 440 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,967 HEY, HOW YOU FEELIN'? 441 00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:10,202 HEY. 442 00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:11,703 OH, LOOKS LIKE THEY GOT YOU 443 00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,307 ON A BUNCH OF GOOD DRUGS BEFORE YOUR SURGERY. 444 00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,875 [ CHUCKLES ] I JUST CAME IN TO CHECK ON YOU. 445 00:16:16,908 --> 00:16:19,678 PRETTY SCARY GOING THROUGH THIS ALL BY YOURSELF. 446 00:16:19,711 --> 00:16:22,115 [ Mocking voice ] TOO BAD YOUR GIRLFRIEND 447 00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,149 COULDN'T BE HERE. 448 00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:24,451 BETH IS REAL. 449 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,653 I KNOW THAT. 450 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:27,687 NO. 451 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,389 BETH IS REAL. 452 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,857 OKAY, YOU REALLY WANNA TALK ABOUT IT? 453 00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:33,960 HOW REAL IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP? 454 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,463 REAL IS WHEN SOMEONE FINDS OUT THAT YOU'RE IN THE HOSPITAL 455 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:40,500 AND DROPS EVERYTHING BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU 456 00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,302 TO BE FREAKED OUT AND ALONE. 457 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,403 LOOK, I'M NOT TRYING TO BE MEAN. 458 00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,972 IT'S JUST...YOU EVER THINK YOU MIGHT BE 459 00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:50,409 SETTLING FOR SOMETHING HERE? 460 00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:51,744 [ SIGHS ] 461 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,413 WE'VE -- WE'VE ALL DONE IT. 462 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:55,715 TALKED OURSELVES INTO THE PENGUIN 463 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:59,186 BECAUSE WE DIDN'T THINK WE HAD A SHOT AT THE ELEPHANT. 464 00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,289 [ SIGHS ] 465 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,660 IF I'M YOUR ELEPHANT, YOU HAVE A SHOT. 466 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:10,196 THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY, DUMMY. 467 00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,263 [ DOOR OPENS ] 468 00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:13,400 I'M GLAD HE'S FINALLY ASLEEP. 469 00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:15,335 HE KEPT GOING ON ABOUT BETH ISRAEL HOSPITAL. 470 00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,903 I TOLD HIM HIS INSURANCE IS FINE. 471 00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:18,204 WE CAN DO THE SURGERY HERE. 472 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,272 BETH ISRAEL? OH. 473 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,342 OH, MY GOD. ANDY, ARE YOU OKAY? 474 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,542 HE'S OKAY, RIGHT? 475 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:25,711 [ Whispers ] UH, YEAH, HE'S SLEEPING. 476 00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:27,346 [ Whispers ] OH, THANK GOD. 477 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,015 I'M BETH, ANDY'S GIRLFRIEND. 478 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,849 OH. HI. UH, HALEY. 479 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:34,019 OF COURSE. ANDY'S TOLD ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU. 480 00:17:34,052 --> 00:17:35,688 I'M SO SORRY ABOUT MISSING THE CARNIVAL. 481 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,589 I'VE JUST BEEN UP FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT. 482 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:40,626 WELL, YOU'RE HERE, SO I SHOULD GO. 483 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,295 OKAY. THANKS AGAIN. 484 00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,663 MM. 485 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,407 LISTEN, LISTEN. 486 00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,644 IT WORKED. HE STOPPED CRYING. 487 00:17:57,676 --> 00:17:59,612 OH, SO GOOD FOR HIM. I'M GLAD. SO LISTEN. 488 00:17:59,645 --> 00:18:02,449 WHO ARE THESE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE? THEY MUST BE COUSINS OF YOURS? 489 00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:04,750 YES, THEY ARE -- MM-HMM. 490 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,118 WAIT A MINUTE. 491 00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,920 YOU TURNED IT OFF. [ JOE CRYING ] 492 00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:11,290 AND I THOUGHT THAT HE WAS FINALLY GETTING OVER HIS BINKY! 493 00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,593 THE SCREAMING IS DRIVING ME CRAZY! 494 00:18:13,625 --> 00:18:15,662 THE SCREAMING IS DRIVING EVERYONE CRAZY, GLORIA. 495 00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:17,430 YOU EITHER HAVE TO TURN THIS THING OFF, 496 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:18,631 OR I'M GOING UP THERE 497 00:18:18,664 --> 00:18:19,898 AND GIVING HIM MY KEYS TO SUCK ON. 498 00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,234 HEY-O! HOW'S MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE? 499 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:25,172 WHAT HAPPENED? WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT? 500 00:18:25,204 --> 00:18:26,439 I'M JUST HAPPY TO SEE YOU. 501 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:27,807 YOU LOOK LIKE A CRAZY PERSON. 502 00:18:27,839 --> 00:18:29,509 DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR FACE? COME ON. 503 00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:31,644 DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THAT JOE STOPPED CRYING? AAH. 504 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:34,247 BACK FROM THE TALENT SHOW EARLY. DON'T ASK WHY. 505 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,582 I LOVE IT WHEN CHILDREN HAVE TALENT. 506 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,949 Mitchell: WHY ARE YOU SMILING LIKE THAT? 507 00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:38,351 [ GASPS ] DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO MOM? 508 00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:40,920 PUT YOUR FACE BACK TO WHAT IT USED TO BE. 509 00:18:40,952 --> 00:18:42,654 COME ON, DAD. JUST DROP IT. 510 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:45,357 SO NOW I'M TOO HAPPY. MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MINDS! 511 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:47,160 THERE HE IS. 512 00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:50,197 I'VE GOT IT. 513 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,664 [ CAP SQUEAKS ] 514 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:56,302 DAD, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU. 515 00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:57,769 SAVE IT, CLAIRE. 516 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,939 I WATCHED WHAT WE SHOT TODAY. 517 00:18:59,971 --> 00:19:02,375 MM-HMM. YEAH, I'M NOT THAT CHEERY, 518 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:05,010 LIKEABLE CELEBRITY I WAS 30 YEARS AGO. 519 00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:08,480 I AM AN OLD GRUMP NOW. WHEN DID I TURN THAT CORNER? 520 00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:09,848 YOU HAVEN'T. YOU HAVEN'T. 521 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,718 I MEAN, YOU'RE CREEPING UP TO IT. 522 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:14,320 YOU GOT YOUR BLINKER ON, BUT...YOU HAVEN'T YET. 523 00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:16,489 I SAW IT HAPPEN TO MY DAD, YOU KNOW? 524 00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:19,192 ONE DAY, HAPPY-GO-LUCKY ROTARY DRILL OPERATOR, 525 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:21,728 THE NEXT HE'S THROWING HIS SCHLITZ AT THE TV 526 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,029 'CAUSE SOME LADY SPORTSCASTER CAME ON. 527 00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:25,231 [ CHUCKLES ] 528 00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:26,965 I SWORE I'D NEVER BE LIKE THAT. 529 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,634 YOU'RE NOT THAT BAD. IF YOU WERE, 530 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,702 WHY WOULD WE ALL SPEND ALL OUR TIME OVER HERE? 531 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,704 OH, YOU JUST COME HERE FOR THE POOL. THAT'S NOT... 532 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:36,142 THAT'S NOT TRUE. NO. CRAZY. 533 00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:38,144 [ INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY ] 534 00:19:38,176 --> 00:19:41,213 DAD, YOU ARE A LONG WAY FROM TURNING INTO GRANDPA. 535 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,815 YOU KNOW, I WAS WITH HIM 536 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,718 THE FIRST TIME HE SAW SUSHI IN THE GROCERY STORE. 537 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:47,686 HE GRABBED THE PRICE CHECK MIKE 538 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,757 AND TREATED US ALL TO A LITTLE LECTURE ON PEARL HARBOR. 539 00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,892 YOU JUST HAVE TO FIGHT IT A LITTLE. 540 00:19:52,924 --> 00:19:54,560 I APPRECIATE IT, HONEY. MM. 541 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,864 I'M NOT SURE SOME OF THIS JUST ISN'T NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS. 542 00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:59,398 [ DOOR OPENS ] 543 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,101 BOGEY AT 10:00! MOVE IT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! 544 00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:03,569 WHAT? 545 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:06,239 [ DRONE WHIRRING ] GENTLEMEN, ON MY COUNT, 546 00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,074 LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR! 547 00:20:08,106 --> 00:20:09,576 8...7... 548 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,877 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THREE DOING OUT HERE?! 549 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,714 NOW IF WE HAVE A PRAYER AT THIS THING, 550 00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,384 WE HAVE TO TRIANGULATE. PHIL, STAY WHERE YOU ARE. 551 00:20:18,417 --> 00:20:21,053 LUKE, BY THE TREE. GIVE ME SOME OF THOSE ORANGES. HERE YOU GO. 552 00:20:21,086 --> 00:20:22,087 NOW LET'S GO ON MY COUNT, 553 00:20:22,121 --> 00:20:24,391 'CAUSE NOBODY STARTS AT 8. 554 00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,959 3...2...1. 555 00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:29,895 [ ALL YELLING ] 556 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,963 GET THE HELL OFF THE SPACE ABOVE MY LAWN! 557 00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:36,035 OW! [ LAUGHS ] TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT THIS. 558 00:20:36,067 --> 00:20:37,135 [ LAUGHTER ] 559 00:20:37,169 --> 00:20:38,904 [ BANG ] 560 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:40,105 HEY! 561 00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:43,309 [ LAUGHTER ] WE DID IT! 562 00:20:43,343 --> 00:20:44,777 WE DID IT! 563 00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:46,413 [ LAUGHTER ] 564 00:20:46,445 --> 00:20:49,615 DRONE 2, IDIOTS 1! [ LAUGHS ] 565 00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:51,817 SOME BOYS NEED A LITTLE HELP, 566 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:55,086 BUT NOT ALL BOYS. 567 00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,489 [ CRYING ] 568 00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:59,090 NO BINKY. 569 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:05,597 ALL RIGHT, DAD, WE'RE READY FOR YOU. 570 00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:06,999 JUST GIVE US FIVE MINUTES. 571 00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:07,900 SEEMS LIKE A WASTE OF TIME, BUT GO AHEAD. 572 00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:10,236 CLOSET, BUT NO CIGAR. 573 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,672 WHY? BECAUSE WE CLOSET. 574 00:21:12,704 --> 00:21:15,106 I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S CLOSET. 575 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,976 [ As "Forrest Gump" ] MAMA ALWAYS SAID 576 00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,478 LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CLOSETS. 577 00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:20,579 ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, CLOSET. 578 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:24,182 [ Imitates announcer voice ] LET'S GET READY TO CLOSET! 579 00:21:24,215 --> 00:21:27,420 [ As "Tony Montana" ] SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE CLOSET. 580 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:30,155 DAMN IT. THEY'RE ALL GOOD.