1 00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:03,403 MOM, COME ON, I NEED TO GET TO SCHOOL! 2 00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:04,738 ISN'T IT TODAY SENIOR DITCH DAY? 3 00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:05,972 TODAY'S DITCH DAY? 4 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,141 NO WAY YOU ARE DITCHING DITCH DAY. 5 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,743 IT'S LIKE THE BEST WEEK OF SENIOR YEAR...DAY. 6 00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:11,878 UNLIKE THIS HOUSE, 7 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,013 THE LIBRARY WILL BE COMPLETELY QUIET 8 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,417 SO I CAN FOCUS ON MY ROOMMATE SELECTION. [ SCOFFS ] 9 00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:18,318 HOW LONG CAN PICKING A NERDY ROOMMATE TAKE? 10 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,553 THEY'RE ALL VERSIONS OF YOU. 11 00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:22,556 LOOK -- INDIAN YOU, BLONDE YOU, ASIAN YOU. 12 00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,692 OH, LOOK! HER NAME IS ACTUALLY "YU." 13 00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,693 SKIPPING ONE DAY OF SCHOOL ISN'T GONNA DO ANY HARM. 14 00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,728 I DITCHED PLENTY, AND LOOK AT ME TODAY. 15 00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,332 I AM FIELDING MULTIPLE JOB OFFERS. 16 00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:32,600 ONE JOB OFFER. 17 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:33,767 FROM A VERY PROMINENT HOTEL CHAIN 18 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:36,070 WEIGHED AGAINST THE IMPLIED OFFER OF STAYING 19 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:37,737 AT MY CURRENT JOB -- WORKING FOR YOU DAD. 20 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,872 EXACTLY! AND I COULD NEVER LEAVE GRANDPA, 21 00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:42,243 SO I AM GOING TO SAY "NO" TO THE FIRST OFFER -- 22 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,277 ONLY OFFER. 23 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:44,612 EVEN THOUGH I WOULD HAVE MADE AN EXCELLENT 24 00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,414 REGIONAL VICE PRESIDENT IN CHARGE OF PROMOTIONS. 25 00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:48,781 SHE IS GREAT AT PROMOTION. 26 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,018 THAT TITLE GETS LONGER EVERY TIME I HEAR IT. 27 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,786 COME ON, DON'T GO TO SCHOOL. GIRLS' DAY! 28 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:56,624 WE'LL SWING BY THE MALL. YOU COULD USE A NEW EVERYTHING. 29 00:00:56,656 --> 00:00:58,426 GIRLS, GET IN THE CAR. LUKE'S HURT. 30 00:00:58,459 --> 00:00:59,627 OH, MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED? 31 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:00,628 HE COLLAPSED ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL. 32 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,530 HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL. COME ON. 33 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,298 WHAT'S WRONG WITH LUKE? WHY'D HE COLLAPSED? 34 00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:05,599 [ SEAT BELTS CLICK ] I HEARD HE WAS DEAD! 35 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,900 [ ALEX AND HALEY SCREAM ] HA HA, YOU CARE ABOUT ME. 36 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:09,102 UGH. GOT 'EM GOOD, BUDDY. 37 00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:10,537 NOBODY'S DEAD! 38 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,704 LOOK OUT! [ CAR HORN HONKS ] 39 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:14,442 OH, SORRY! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! 40 00:01:14,474 --> 00:01:16,409 ALEX, YOU HAVE WORKED SO INSANELY HARD THIS YEAR. 41 00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:20,381 YOU DESERVE THIS DITCH DAY MORE THAN ANYONE. SO GUESS WHAT? 42 00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,049 WE'RE GOING TO CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE. 43 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,117 WHOO! 44 00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:24,317 WITHOUT MOM! 45 00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:25,718 YEAH! YEAH! 46 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,954 All: [ Chanting ] DITCH DAY! DITCH DAY! DITCH DAY! 47 00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:30,123 IS THIS A HIGH HOLIDAY FOR YOU PEOPLE? 48 00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:39,133 *** 49 00:01:39,167 --> 00:01:42,770 -- Captions by VITAC -- 50 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,472 THAT'S IT. I'M DOING IT. 51 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,741 I'M THROWING OUT ALL MY SOCKS AND STARTING OVER. 52 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,811 AND THEY SAY TINA WAS BRAVE FOR LEAVING IKE. [ CHUCKLES ] 53 00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:52,346 OH, OW! OH, GOD. THAT HURTS. [ WINCES ] 54 00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,847 OH, MY GOSH. YOU CUT YOURSELF. 55 00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:56,082 HEY! DON'T GET BLOOD IN MY EGGS. 56 00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:57,617 [ SIGHS ] 57 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:58,819 WE'RE GETTING CONCERNED 58 00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,921 THAT LILY HASN'T DEVELOPED AN ADEQUATE SENSE OF EMPATHY. 59 00:02:00,953 --> 00:02:03,524 INSOFAR AS SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANY AT ALL. 60 00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,825 [ WHIRRING ] OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. I CAN FEEL THAT WORKING. 61 00:02:05,858 --> 00:02:07,594 I KNOW. I CAN FINALLY BREATHE. 62 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,861 [ SIGHS HEAVILY ] 63 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:11,998 I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK! 64 00:02:12,032 --> 00:02:13,032 [ PLUG THUDS, WHIRRING STOPS ] 65 00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:14,801 NICE PREVIEW OF OUR SUNSET YEARS. 66 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,437 SHE LITERALLY PULLED THE PLUG ON US. 67 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:19,139 Claire: I WASN'T GONNA MENTION THE OTHER JOB OFFER TO MY DAD, 68 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:21,609 BUT I DIDN'T WANT HIM JUST HEARING ABOUT IT, 69 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,545 SO AFTER WRESTLING WITH IT ALL DAY, I DECIDED TO TELL HIM. 70 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:25,878 HEY, YOU'RE IN EARLY. 71 00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:27,348 ARE YOU READY TO HAVE A LAUGH? 72 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:28,848 JANICE'S HAIRCUT? UGH. 73 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,384 GIVE HER SOME SLACK. SHE JUST WENT THROUGH A BREAKUP... 74 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,953 WITH A WOMAN, I ASSUME, BASED ON THE HAIRCUT. 75 00:02:32,985 --> 00:02:34,187 NO, IT'S EVEN FUNNIER. 76 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:36,022 UH, SO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I'VE BEEN WORKING ON 77 00:02:36,055 --> 00:02:37,625 THE GRAND ROYAL HOTEL ACCOUNT? 78 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,826 NOT GIVING RAISES TILL NEXT YEAR, BUT GO ON. 79 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,195 THEY OFFERED ME A JOB. [ EXHALES ] 80 00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:43,396 CRAZY, RIGHT? 81 00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:44,997 YEAH. YEAH. 82 00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:46,834 I MEAN, MAYBE NOT "CRAZY," 83 00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:49,502 BUT TRYING TO POACH THE BOSS'S DAUGHTER? 84 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:52,139 I MUST HAVE IMPRESSED 'EM. [ CHUCKLES ] 85 00:02:52,171 --> 00:02:53,373 YOU GOTTA TAKE THIS OFFER. 86 00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:54,474 [ INHALES SHARPLY ] WHAT? 87 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,243 HIGHER SALARY, BETTER BENEFITS. 88 00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:57,478 I MEAN, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO TRAVEL MORE, 89 00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,080 WHICH IS TIME AWAY FROM PHIL. 90 00:03:00,112 --> 00:03:01,549 NOTHING BUT UPSIDE. 91 00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:03,182 HE WAS RIGHT. 92 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,252 IT WAS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY. 93 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,887 I MAY HAVE BEEN A BIT HASTY 94 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:08,756 TURNING DOWN THAT JOB OFFER SO QUICKLY. 95 00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:10,824 UM, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GIVE ME A DAY OR TWO 96 00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,192 TO THINK ABOUT IT? 97 00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:15,496 YES, IT WOULD MEAN LEAVING MY DAD, BUT THIS WAS BUSINESS. 98 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,163 IT WASN'T PERSONAL. 99 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,300 PLUS, CLEARLY MY FATHER DOESN'T CARE IF I LIVE OR DIE. 100 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:31,110 HEY, WILL I STILL GET WISE WITHOUT MY WISDOM TEETH? 101 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:33,247 YOU GET IT? [ GIGGLES ] EVERY TIME. 102 00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:36,283 WHY DON'T I HOLD ON TO THE PAINKILLERS? [ PILLS RATTLING ] 103 00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:37,116 NOW I'M SAD. 104 00:03:37,150 --> 00:03:38,451 THEY'RE RIGHT HERE. 105 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,953 I'LL GIVE YOU ONE WHEN YOU NEED ONE. 106 00:03:39,986 --> 00:03:42,956 NO, KYLIE SAID SHE'D MEET ME AT THE DENTIST AND SHE NEVER CAME. 107 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,625 AY, I KNOW, PAPI, I'M SO SORRY, 108 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:47,694 BUT I'M GONNA GET YOU A VERY NICE PILLOW FROM YOUR BEDROOM. 109 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,030 SHE WANTS ME TO GO AWAY WITH HER TO DRAMA CAMP THIS SUMMER, 110 00:03:50,062 --> 00:03:51,799 AND THEN SHE DOESN'T EVEN SHOW UP TODAY? 111 00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:54,268 MAYBE KYLIE CHANGED HER MIND ABOUT CAMP. 112 00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:58,305 MAYBE SHE PLANS TO BE WITH MANY MEN AND SHE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU. 113 00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:01,474 I HID IT VERY WELL FROM MANNY, BUT I HATED THAT GIRL. 114 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,877 SHE WAS GETTING TOO SERIOUS TOO FAST. 115 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,947 I'MSORRY. 116 00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:09,650 MY VOLLEYBALL PRACTICE WENT LONG AND THEN MY PHONE DIED. 117 00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:12,786 I WANT TO KISS YOU, BUT I HAVE SURGERY BREATH. 118 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,587 AW! JUST MAKE SURE YOU'RE BACK IN KISSING SHAPE 119 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,255 IN TIME FOR US TO GO TO CAMP TOGETHER. 120 00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:18,391 WHY DO I KEEP SMELLING STRAWBERRIES? 121 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,093 WHAT DID THEY DO TO ME? 122 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,430 IT'S THE MILKSHAKE I BROUGHT YOU. 123 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,432 [ CHUCKLES ] OH, AND LOOK. 124 00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,766 I USUALLY WAIT TILL YOU'RE NOT LOOKING, THEN I LOOK. 125 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,569 THE SCARF YOU GAVE ME, YOU DOG! OH. 126 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,504 ACTUALLY, NOW'S A GOOD TIME TO LOOK 127 00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,507 'CAUSE I KINDA SEE FOUR OF THEM. 128 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,310 I GOT A COUPLE PILLS IN ME. [ GIGGLES ] 129 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:40,480 All: [ Chanting ] DITCH DAY. DITCH DAY. DITCH DAY. 130 00:04:40,514 --> 00:04:41,348 DITCH... 131 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,317 WOW. 15 MINUTES. 132 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:44,584 WHEN YOU DIDN'T STOP WHILE WE WERE GETTING GAS, 133 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,853 I THOUGHT IT MIGHT JUST GO ON FOREVER. 134 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:49,490 SWEET MYRNA LOY! 135 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,192 Phil: WOW. 136 00:04:53,225 --> 00:04:54,495 Haley: DAD, YOU KNOW IT'S NOT 137 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,529 A MOVIE CALLED "DEMOLITION NOTICE," RIGHT? 138 00:04:56,564 --> 00:04:58,165 Phil: I BUILT THIS THEATER WITH THESE TWO HANDS... 139 00:04:58,197 --> 00:05:01,300 PLUS THE 28 HANDS OF 14 OTHER GUYS. 140 00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:03,937 YOU...BUILT THIS. RENOVATED IT. 141 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,038 BEFORE I GOT INTO REAL ESTATE, I WORKED CONSTRUCTION. 142 00:05:06,072 --> 00:05:07,375 YOU....WORKED CONSTRUCTION. 143 00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,343 YEAH, STOP STAYING IT LIKE THAT. 144 00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:12,178 I PUT 10 MONTHS OF MY LIFE INTO THIS PLACE. 145 00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:13,514 I'D LOVE TO LOOK AROUND ONE LAST TIME 146 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,314 BEFORE THEY TEAR THE OLD GIRL DOWN. 147 00:05:15,348 --> 00:05:16,449 WOW. OH, WELL, SUCKS TO BE GETTING OLD. 148 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,718 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE BUSTIN' IN. 149 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,387 HOW? SMASH A WINDOW WITH A BRICK? 150 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:21,622 [ CHUCKLES ] 151 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,790 I HAD SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE ELEGANT IN MIND. 152 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:29,129 I THINK YOU FORGET THAT I GAVE BIRTH TO THIS BUILDING. 153 00:05:29,161 --> 00:05:30,863 I KNOW HER STRENGTHS... 154 00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:33,634 AND...HER WEAKNESSES. 155 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:37,704 [ DOOR RATTLING ] 156 00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,639 DID YOU SEE A BRICK? 157 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:44,545 SO I WALKED INTO TO DAD'S OFFICE, 158 00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:45,879 AND HE IS HOLDING A PICTURE OF ME, 159 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:48,816 LOOKING AT IT WITH TEARS WELLING IN HIS EYES. 160 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,418 OH, DAD WAS NEVER THAT EMOTIONAL WHEN WERE WERE GROWING UP. 161 00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:54,254 I KNOW. THAT'S WHAT MAKES THIS WHOLE THING SO HARD! 162 00:05:54,286 --> 00:05:55,656 MAYBE LILY HASN'T LEARNED EMPATHY 163 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,191 BECAUSE SHE HASN'T SEEN IT FROM ME, YOU KNOW? 164 00:05:58,225 --> 00:05:59,759 COULD WE MAYBE STAY ON MY PROBLEM 165 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:00,827 UNTIL THE BREAD COMES? 166 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,730 I'M SORRY. IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU WERE DONE. SORRY. 167 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:05,264 SO, THE WAY I LEFT THINGS WITH THE HOTEL COMPANY 168 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,735 IS THAT I NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME TO DECIDE, BUT HONESTLY, 169 00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,168 I THINK I'M GONNA TELL 'EM NO. 170 00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:10,937 I MEAN, HOW COULD I LEAVE DAD AFTER WHAT I SAW? 171 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,706 IT'S JUST -- IT'S HEARTBREAKING. [ SIGHS ] 172 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,108 OH, I COULD CRY. 173 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:16,877 THANK YOU. MAYBE IF LILY SAW ME CRY, 174 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,012 SHE WOULD SEE THAT IT'S OKAY TO BE THAT WAY, 175 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,749 ESPECIALLY COMING FROM ME, HER STOIC DAD WHO NEVER CRIES. 176 00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:25,084 OH, COME ON, YOU HAD TO BE DONE THAT TIME. 177 00:06:25,117 --> 00:06:26,920 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT. LET'S DO YOU. 178 00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:28,721 YOUR PROBLEM IS BIGGER THAN MINE ANYWAY, 179 00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:32,024 'CAUSE IF YOUR PLAN IS TO CRY IN FRONT OF LILY... 180 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:33,293 [ Whispers ] FORGET IT. 181 00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,694 YOU'RE TOO EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED. 182 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,362 YOU KNOW, I-I KNOW YOU'RE JOKING, CLAIRE, 183 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,266 BUT SOMETIMES... SOMETIMES WORDS HURT, YOU KNOW? 184 00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:40,933 AND TO THINK THAT MY OWN SISTER... 185 00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:43,136 [ Voice breaks ] MY OWN SISTER WOULD ACCUSE ME OF -- 186 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,572 [ Normal voice ] OH, SCREW IT. 187 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,675 I'LL JUST WORK UP SOME TEARS WITH A SAD MOVIE. IT'S FINE. 188 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:53,913 MOM? AH! YOU'RE AWAKE. 189 00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:55,449 HOW YOU FEELING? 190 00:06:55,483 --> 00:06:57,918 AW. YOU BOUGHT ME A BALLOON. 191 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:59,819 WHAT? AND A TEDDY BEAR. 192 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,288 WHEN DID YOU BUY ALL THIS STUFF? 193 00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:04,725 UH...WHEN -- WHEN YOU WERE ASLEEP 194 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,394 AND I GOT YOU A STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE. 195 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,596 MOM, YOU'RE THE BEST. 196 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:11,598 HE COULDN'T REMEMBER A THING. 197 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:15,067 ALL I HAD TO DO WAS TO GET HIM PAST THE 5:00 DEADLINE 198 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,904 SO THAT HE COULDN'T GO ON THAT TRIP WITH KYLIE. 199 00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:21,509 I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AT CAMP. I'VE SEEN "MEATBALLS." 200 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,776 I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE KYLIE FLAKED ON ME. 201 00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,112 I THOUGHT SHE REALLY LIKED ME. 202 00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:26,480 I GUESS NOT. 203 00:07:26,514 --> 00:07:28,281 TIME FOR MORE PILLS, BABY. 204 00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:30,283 REALLY? I'M ALREADY SO LOOPY. 205 00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:32,819 WE HAVE TO GET AHEAD OF THE PAIN. 206 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,555 MAYBE SHE TEXTED ME. HAVE YOU SEEN MY PHONE? 207 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,860 IS IT OVER THERE? 208 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,829 I DON'T SEE IT. 209 00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:43,963 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 210 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,632 EH...HUGGING! 211 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,033 YOU'RE SO SWEET. 212 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:49,569 BUT I DON'T THINK THESE PILLS ARE REALLY DOING ANYTHING. 213 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,305 [ GRUNTS ] 214 00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:54,173 DOES THIS PLACE LOOK FAMILIAR? 215 00:07:54,206 --> 00:07:57,144 Alex: OH, YEAH. THIS IS WHERE WE WERE ALL MURDERED. 216 00:07:57,177 --> 00:08:00,146 NO, SILLY. THIS IS WHERE YOU GIRLS SAW YOUR FIRST MOVIE. 217 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,615 HALFWAY THROUGH "HARE-ABIAN NIGHTS," 218 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,951 I LOOKED OVER, AND YOUR LITTLE HEADS WERE PRESSED TOGETHER 219 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,952 LIKE THE CUTEST TEEPEE EVER. 220 00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:09,156 AND WHERE WAS I DURING ALL OF THIS FAMILY FUN? 221 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:11,124 BUDDY, THE THREE OF US WERE HAVING A GIRLS' DAY. 222 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,526 YOU GET IT. 223 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,961 THIS WAY. OVER HERE BY THE SCREEN. 224 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,028 [ WHEELS SQUEAK ] 225 00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:17,463 SO... 226 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,966 [ GRUNTS ] 227 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,733 WHILE I WAS STILL BUILDING THIS PLACE, 228 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:25,673 I SNUCK BACK HERE WITH YOU GUYS AFTER WORK ONE DAY, AND... 229 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,240 CHECK IT OUT. 230 00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,843 AW, DAD! ARE THOSE OUR FEET? 231 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,310 LOOK AT HOW TINY! 232 00:08:31,343 --> 00:08:32,645 WHERE'S MY FOOTPRINTS? 233 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,014 UM...I GUESS THAT'S YOU. ANYWAY... 234 00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,482 THAT LOOKS LIKE A BABY HEAD. 235 00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:38,217 I WAS STRUGGLING WITH THESE TWO. YOU WERE ALL SQUIRMY. 236 00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:40,052 I'M NOT GONNA APOLOGIZE OVER AND OVER. 237 00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,153 COME ON, LET'S GRAB THIS THING. 238 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,722 GRAB WHAT, THE CEMENT? 239 00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:44,157 THIS PLACE IS GONNA BE RUBBLE IN A FEW DAYS. 240 00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,524 I WANT A MEMENTO. 241 00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:48,260 LET'S DO IT! ALL RIGHT, WELL, THIS SEEMS MORE LIKE BOYS' WORK, 242 00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:51,398 SO YOU GUYS TAKE YOUR TIME ON THAT, OKAY? 243 00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:53,834 SUPER FUN ADVENTURE! 244 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,869 OKAY, SO THAT'S AT LEAST AN HOUR. 245 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:57,269 THERE'S A MALL ACROSS THE STREET. 246 00:08:57,303 --> 00:08:58,538 I'M CALLING A CAR AND GOING TO SCHOOL. 247 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:01,274 CALTECH NEEDS MY ROOMMATE SELECTION BY -- 248 00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:02,875 WHOA. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 249 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,077 WHAT'S YOURS? YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE WITHOUT TELLING DAD? 250 00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,846 YOU WERE JUST ABOUT TO TAKE ME TO A MALL. 251 00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,081 OKAY, IF YOU CAN'T SEE THE DIFFERENCE... 252 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,951 LOOK, I'M SORRY I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO 253 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,086 THAN GO SHOP OR SIT IN SOME CREEPY OLD MOVIE THEATER 254 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,621 WHERE WE USED TO WATCH CARTOONS. 255 00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,456 I GET IT. YOU'RE BEYOND ALL OF US NOW. 256 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:19,192 GO PICK OUT YOUR PLAYMATES AT NERD ACADEMY. 257 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,393 [ SCOFFS ] FINE. 258 00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,796 I'LL JUST PICK OUT MY ROOMMATE HERE THEN. 259 00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:25,032 SORRY I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT COLLEGE. 260 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,767 APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED. 261 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,068 I WASN'T ACTUALLY APOLOGIZING, SO... 262 00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:30,202 Phil: FOUND THE LIGHT! 263 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,438 [ PLUG THUDS ] Luke: FOUND THE CHISEL! 264 00:09:32,471 --> 00:09:34,540 Phil: OW! FOUND THE BROOM. 265 00:09:34,573 --> 00:09:37,076 [ OBJECTS CLATTER ] [ HALEY AND ALEX GIGGLE ] 266 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,647 [ SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING ON TV ] [ Crying ] NO, NO. 267 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,248 MITCHELL? WHAT'S WRONG? 268 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,283 I FEEL LIKE LILY'S INABILITY TO SHOW FEELINGS 269 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,585 FOR OTHER PEOPLE MIGHT BE MY FAULT. OH, HONEY. 270 00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,453 I THINK THAT, TOO, BUT JUST TAKE COMFORT IN KNOWING 271 00:09:47,486 --> 00:09:49,322 YOU GOT THERE ON YOUR OWN. 272 00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:51,290 I'M WATCHING "THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY" 273 00:09:51,323 --> 00:09:53,460 BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ME CRY. [ SNIFFLES ] [ MOVIE STOPS ] 274 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,995 WHEN SHE GETS HOME, 275 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,630 I'M GOING TO TURN THIS OFF AND PRETEND I WAS READING THIS. 276 00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:59,432 "TYPHOON FLATTENS ORPHANAGE"? 277 00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,134 YEAH, THAT'S SAD, RIGHT? 278 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,769 NOW -- NOW GET OUT OF HERE, BECAUSE SHE'S GOING TO BE HOME 279 00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,571 ANY SECOND, AND I'M TRYING TO STAY SAD. [ MOVIE RESUMES PLAYING ] 280 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,005 WAIT. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. JUST TO CLARIFY, 281 00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:07,640 THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES YOU CRY... 282 00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,076 [ MOVIE STOPS ] THAT TRULY RESONATES WITH YOU 283 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,578 ON A DEEP, EMOTIONAL LEVEL IS A FILM ABOUT SOMEONE... 284 00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:16,182 [ Voice breaks ] WHO'S TRAPPED IN A LOVELESS MARRIAGE? 285 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,250 OKAY, CAM, PLEASE GO. 286 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,518 I'M STARTING NOT TO FEEL ANYTHING. 287 00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,653 DO YOU KNOW HOW HURTFUL THAT IS? [ CRIES ] 288 00:10:20,687 --> 00:10:22,121 Lily: I'M HOME! [ DOOR CLOSES IN DISTANCE ] 289 00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:23,990 AND NOW I'M NOT CRYING. GREAT. [ CRYING ] 290 00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,759 HEY, SWEETIE. HI. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? 291 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,760 BETTER THAN HERS. WHAT'S WRONG NOW? 292 00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:29,663 DADDY'S JUST HAVING A MOMENT. 293 00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,698 HE'S ALWAYS HAVING A MOMENT. 294 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:34,533 [ GASPS ] OH, WAIT. OH, MY GOSH. I-I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING. 295 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:37,336 WHAT, THAT OUR MARRIAGE BED IS A 1,200 THREAD-COUNT CHARADE? 296 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,038 NO, MAYBE THIS ISN'T MY FAULT. 297 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:41,841 MAYBE LILY CAN'T SHOW EMPATHY BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS CRYING. 298 00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,509 OH, SO IT'S MY FAULT? YES. 299 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,477 YOU'VE TOTALLY DESENSITIZED HER TO NORMAL EMOTIONS. 300 00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:48,480 THAT'S NOT TRUE! AND NOW YOU WANNA CRY, 301 00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:52,519 BECAUSE SHE WON'T CRY BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS CRYING. 302 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:53,687 [ Voice breaks ] AND YOU WOULD ONLY KNOW THAT 303 00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,288 BECAUSE YOU DO LOVE ME! 304 00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,124 YEAH. OH! 305 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,325 YEAH. 306 00:10:58,357 --> 00:10:59,392 HEY! 307 00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:00,626 HI, HONEY. WHAT'S UP? 308 00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:02,129 WELL, I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW 309 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,496 I TURNED DOWN THAT HOTEL JOB OFFER. 310 00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:05,899 HOW COME? 311 00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,366 SOME THINGS ARE JUST MORE IMPORTANT THAN MONEY, 312 00:11:07,399 --> 00:11:08,701 AND FOR ME THAT INCLUDES MY FAM-- 313 00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,669 [ BUZZING ] MAN, THAT SMARTS. 314 00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:11,804 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 315 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,072 JUST TRIMMING THE HEDGES. 316 00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:14,640 I SAW A LOW-ANGLE PHOTO OF ME THE OTHER DAY. 317 00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:15,975 I LOOKED LIKE A SNORTED A RABBI. 318 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,409 [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] 319 00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:20,713 AND -- AND -- AND YOU'RE USING A PICTURE OF ME AS YOUR MIRROR? 320 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,581 [ LAUGHS ] OH, IT IS YOU! 321 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:23,682 MM. [ CLIPPERS BUZZ ] 322 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,658 HEY, IS THAT MY PHONE? 323 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,760 AH, YES! 324 00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,695 I FOUND IT WHILE YOU WERE ASLEEP. 325 00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:37,931 UM, LET ME PUT IT BACK IN YOUR BEDROOM UNTIL YOU WAKE UP. 326 00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:39,732 OH, KYLIE TEXTED ME. 327 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,934 SHE SENT ME A PHOTO OF ME AND HER. 328 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,169 SITTING RIGHT HERE. 329 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,772 OH, MAYBE SHE SNEAK IN 330 00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:47,740 WHILE I WAS GETTING YOU ALL THOSE NICE STUFF. 331 00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:48,775 BUT YOU'RE BEHIND ME, 332 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,211 STARING AT US WITH A TERRIBLE LOOK ON YOUR FACE. 333 00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:54,081 OH, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. I NEVER TAKE A BAD PICTURE. 334 00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:56,783 ARE YOU TRYING TO SABOTAGE MY RELATIONSHIP WITH KYLIE? 335 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,018 [ SIGHS ] 336 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:01,788 HER CLOTHES ARE TOO TIGHT, HER HEELS ARE TOO HIGH, 337 00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:02,923 SHE'S SO LOUD, AND -- 338 00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,691 AND I HATE HOW SHE SMOTHERS YOU! 339 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,726 [ CHUCKLES ] OH, MY GOD. YOU'RE DESCRIBING YOURSELF. 340 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,230 NO! MY CLOTHES ARE NOT THAT... 341 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,231 MY HEELS ARE... 342 00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:14,802 I AM NOT...LOUD. 343 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,536 I'M DATING MY MOTHER! 344 00:12:16,568 --> 00:12:18,571 UGH. OH, GROSS. 345 00:12:18,605 --> 00:12:19,807 EXCUSE ME? 346 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,775 I USED TO LIKE HER, BUT NOW IT'S RUINED. 347 00:12:22,809 --> 00:12:25,778 PLEASE. THERE ARE WORSE THINGS THAN DATING YOUR OWN MOTHER. 348 00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:27,279 LIKE WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT? 349 00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:28,581 I DON'T LIKE THIS ATTITUDE, 350 00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,317 AND I AM SURE THAT KYLIE WON'T LIKE IT EITHER. 351 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:33,452 MAYBE YOU DO NEED SOMEBODY LIKE HER TO KEEP YOU IN LINE 352 00:12:33,485 --> 00:12:35,087 WHILE I AM NOT AROUND. 353 00:12:35,121 --> 00:12:36,489 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 354 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:37,790 I AM SENDING YOUR APPLICATION TO DRAMA CAMP. 355 00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:39,125 WE STILL HAVE TWO MINUTES. 356 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:40,126 MOM, DON'T YOU DARE. 357 00:12:40,159 --> 00:12:41,995 [ GROANS ] 358 00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,996 OKAY, NAME, AGE... 359 00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:46,499 STREET NAME? LIKE YOU'RE IN A GANG? 360 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,000 I DON'T WANT TO GO TO CAMP WITH KYLIE NOW! 361 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,469 IT'S DISGUSTING! [ CELL PHONE ALERT CHIMES ] 362 00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:50,769 OH, LOOK. 363 00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,304 WE GOT ANOTHER TEXT FROM KY-- AY, YI, YI. 364 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,740 SHE SENT A PICTURE OF HER IN A BIKINI! 365 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,975 SHE DID? 366 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,309 YOU -- YOU CAN JUST GO AHEAD AND HIT "SEND." 367 00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,913 NO. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GO TO CAMP WITH A GIRL LIKE THAT. 368 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,349 OH, MY GOD. MOM, YOU'RE CRAZY! 369 00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:04,517 YES. NO. YES. NO. 370 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,485 YOU HATE EVERY SINGLE GIRL I LIKE. 371 00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,520 YOU HAVE TO START LETTING ME MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS, 372 00:13:08,554 --> 00:13:11,091 OR EVERYTHING EVERYBODY SAYS ABOUT ME IS TRUE -- 373 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,025 I'M A GIANT MAMA'S BOY. 374 00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,861 DO THEY REALLY CALL YOU THAT? 375 00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:16,897 YES. NOW IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? 376 00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,033 OKAY, FINE. 377 00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:23,836 IF YOU WANT TO GO, GO. [ TAPS KEY ] 378 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:27,139 THANK YOU. 379 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:29,042 I HAVE THAT SAME BIKINI. 380 00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:35,115 Phil: OKAY, WE'RE GONNA NEED A CROW BAR OR SOMETHING 381 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,448 TO LIFT THIS THING. 382 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,184 YOU LOOK BACK THERE, AND I'LL CHECK THESE SHELVES. 383 00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:40,019 [ LADDER RATTLES ] 384 00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:42,489 HMM. ANYTHING UP THERE? 385 00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:43,990 NOT A THING, BUDDY. 386 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,658 [ ALEX AND HALEY GIGGLE ] Phil: I FEEL LIKE I SAW SOME SORT OF A... 387 00:13:46,692 --> 00:13:48,028 ARE THEY AWARE...? 388 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,562 NOT A CHANCE. 389 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,963 Luke: MAYBE WE CAN USE THIS BROOM HANDLE TO PRY IT LOOSE. 390 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:54,567 NO, THAT WON'T WORK. OH, NO. [ BUCKET CLATTERS ] 391 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,336 [ Strained voice ] YES, IT WILL. [ CRACK, CLATTER ] 392 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,705 [ GIGGLES ] Phil: COME ON! 393 00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,572 [ BUCKET THUDS ] 394 00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:01,807 THAT WAS CLOSE. 395 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,009 [ GROANS ] 396 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:07,147 [ ALEX AND HALEY LAUGHING ] [ CLATTER ] 397 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,749 SORRY I WAS A JERK EARLIER. 398 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:10,850 Phil: COME ON! 399 00:14:10,884 --> 00:14:12,019 I'M ACTUALLY HAVING A LOT OF FUN 400 00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:13,253 WATCHING CARTOONS WITH YOU AGAIN. 401 00:14:13,285 --> 00:14:16,088 AH, IT WAS MY FAULT. I'M JUST A LITTLE... 402 00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:17,690 [ PHIL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ] 403 00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,058 ARE YOU EVER GONNA CALL ME? 404 00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:21,094 WHAT? 405 00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:24,096 IT'S JUST SOMETHING I'VE -- I'VE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT, YOU KNOW. 406 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:27,067 LIKE, WE LIVE TOGETHER, SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL ME, 407 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,036 AND ONCE YOU'RE OFF AT BRAINY SCHOOL, 408 00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:31,938 SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF BRAINY BRAINS... [ GIGGLES ] 409 00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:33,740 ARE WE GONNA BE FRIENDS? 410 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,243 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU'RE MY SISTER. 411 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,077 OH, RIGHT. YEAH, SISTERS. 412 00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:41,280 LIKE, WE'RE OBLIGATED TO SEE EACH OTHER ON THANKSGIVING, 413 00:14:41,313 --> 00:14:43,115 CHRISTMAS... [ OBJECTS THUD AND CLATTER ] 414 00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:44,951 LUKE'S FUNERAL. Luke: I'M FINE! 415 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,452 [ SCOFFS ] [ METAL CLINKS ] 416 00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:51,024 UH-OH. "UH-OH" WHAT? 417 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,259 [ WATER SQUIRTS ] NOTHING. 418 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:53,559 WHAT DID YOU DO? 419 00:14:53,592 --> 00:14:54,927 I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR ORDERS. 420 00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:56,263 I'M SURPRISED YOU DIDN'T ASK ME TO STAND ON TOP 421 00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,431 AND SAW AROUND MYSELF IN A CIRCLE. 422 00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,067 WHY DO WE EVEN NEED THIS STUPID THING? 423 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,402 BECAUSE THEY'RE TEARING DOWN THE ONLY THING I'VE EVER BUILT. 424 00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:04,403 JUST STAND THERE. WE CAN STILL DO THIS. 425 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,306 YEAH, IT'S GREAT BEING A REAL ESTATE AGENT -- 426 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,207 MY FACE IS ON BILLBOARDS AND PENS. 427 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,308 I HAVE A BALLOON BUDGET. 428 00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,979 BUT NONE OF IT EVER LASTS. ONCE THIS PLACE IS GONE, 429 00:15:12,011 --> 00:15:14,614 THEY'RE WON'T BE ANYTHING I CAN POINT TO AND SAY, "I MADE THAT." 430 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,749 UH-OH. [ WATER SQUIRTING ] 431 00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,750 WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?! 432 00:15:18,784 --> 00:15:20,320 I SPRUNG A LEAK! 433 00:15:20,352 --> 00:15:22,822 [ HALEY AND ALEX LAUGH ] 434 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:25,357 Phil: THERE'S GOTTA BE A WATER SHUT-OFF! 435 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,296 HALEY... [ CREAKING ] 436 00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:31,597 [ SIGHS ] I'M SORRY IF I'VE BEEN ACTING LIKE 437 00:15:31,630 --> 00:15:34,067 I DIDN'T WANNA HANG OUT WITH YOU LATELY. 438 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,336 OR...EVER. 439 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,638 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 440 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,673 I'M NOT WORRIED. 441 00:15:40,706 --> 00:15:42,142 WE'LL PROBABLY BE EVEN CLOSER 442 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,076 ONCE WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY CAGED IN TOGETHER. 443 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,413 I'LL BE CALLING YOU ALL THE TIME. [ SCOFFS ] 444 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:50,482 THINK ABOUT IT -- I'M ABOUT TO LIVE ON A CAMPUS FULL OF ALEXES. 445 00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,184 THAT'S BOUND TO GET ANNOYING. 446 00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:56,355 AND WHEN IT DOES, WHO BETTER TO DEAL WITH AN ALEX THAN YOU? 447 00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,331 I MADE THAT. 448 00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:06,966 HEY, YOU WANTED TO SEE ME? 449 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,336 JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH DAN SIGNER. WHO? 450 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,438 HE'S ONE OF THE BIG MUCKS AT THE GRAND ROYAL HOTELS. OH. 451 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,506 THEY'RE THINKING ABOUT DROPPING OUR ACCOUNT. 452 00:16:14,541 --> 00:16:16,643 SOMETHING ABOUT YOU TURNING DOWN THE JOB OFFER. 453 00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,845 WELL... AND THEN ACCEPTING IT, 454 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,847 AND THEN TURNING IT DOWN, AND THEN ACCEPTING IT AGAIN. 455 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,450 WHY ARE YOU JERKING HIM AROUND? 456 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:25,018 YOU'RE WORSE THAN CLAUDIA. 457 00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:27,620 WHO'S CLAUDIA? JANICE'S EX-GIRLFRIEND. 458 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,489 SHE STRUNG HER ALONG FOR EIGHT YEARS, 459 00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:31,823 NOW THEY'RE IN A CUSTODY BATTLE OVER TWO LABRADORS. 460 00:16:31,857 --> 00:16:33,826 AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT GOT STUCK IN THE BREAK ROOM 461 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:34,961 WITH HER TODAY? 462 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,562 OKAY, DAD, LOOK. IF IT'LL HELP, 463 00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:37,629 I'LL CALL THE HOTEL PEOPLE AND I'LL STRAIGHTEN ALL THIS OUT. 464 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:40,332 I DON'T THINK MORE CALLS FROM YOU IS THE ANSWER, 465 00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,567 AND BY THE WAY, 466 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,036 I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GONNA GET THAT JOB ANYMORE. 467 00:16:43,070 --> 00:16:45,371 FINE! I DON'T CARE! I DON'T CARE! 468 00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:47,005 I NEVER WANTED THAT JOB IN THE FIRST PLACE! 469 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:49,509 WELL, THEN WHY DID YOU TELL ME ABOUT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE? 470 00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,543 BECAUSE I WANTED YOU TO TELL ME NOT TO TAKE THE JOB 471 00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:52,845 BECAUSE I'M YOUR DAUGHTER! 472 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:54,413 YOU KNOW, THE THING BEHIND THE MIRROR 473 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,350 THAT YOU...TRIM YOUR NOSE HAIRS WITH? 474 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:00,852 DON'T YOU EVEN CARE IF I STAY OR GO? 475 00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:01,988 OF COURSE I DO. 476 00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:04,057 WELL, YOU DON'T SHOW IT. 477 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:06,692 WELL, MAYBE BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT THAT TO BE A FACTOR. 478 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:08,861 IT WOULD KILL ME IF I THOUGHT THAT WHAT I FELT 479 00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:10,863 WOULD HOLD YOU BACK FROM GETTING SOMETHING THAT YOU WANTED. 480 00:17:10,896 --> 00:17:13,599 BUT TRUST ME, WHEN I SAW THAT JOB OFFER, 481 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,768 MY HEART ALMOST FELL OUT OF MY CHEST. 482 00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:17,670 I LOVE US WORKING TOGETHER! 483 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,705 THANKS. OKAY, THEN. 484 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:22,509 "OKAY, THEN"? 485 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:25,744 I POUR MY HEART OUT, AND THAT'S ALL I GET? 486 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,579 ONE TIME MY DAD SAID, "NICE GAME, KID." 487 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,615 I HAD EYE BLACK STREAMING DOWN MY CHEEKS, 488 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:32,018 BUT ALL I GET IS, "OKAY, THEN"? 489 00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:36,689 I MEAN, I-I PROBABLY DON'T SAY IT AS MUCH AS I SHOULD, 490 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,290 BUT I'M PROUD OF YOU, KID. 491 00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:39,592 GOT IT. 492 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,294 JAY? HEY, DAN! 493 00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:42,894 GEE, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D SHOW UP IN PERSON. 494 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,198 CLAIRE, THIS IS THE BIG CHEESE, DAN SIGNER. 495 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,233 HI, MR. SIGNER. SUCH A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. 496 00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:49,201 I'M SO SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT BACK AND FORTH TODAY. HEY, I'LL HANDLE IT FROM HERE. 497 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:52,038 DAN, WE LOVE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, 498 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:54,807 BUT I GOTTA PUT MY FOOT DOWN WHEN IT COMES TO CLAIRE. 499 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,076 THIS IS MY LITTLE BABY GIRL HERE. 500 00:17:57,109 --> 00:17:59,546 THE BEST PART OF MY DAY IS HAVING A COFFEE WITH HER 501 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:02,582 IN THE BREAK ROOM, AND IT WASN'T THAT LONG AGO 502 00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:05,152 THAT SHE WAS SITTING AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE 503 00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:08,387 EATING HEART-SHAPED WAFFLES THAT I MADE FOR HER. 504 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,823 I TELL YA, IT PUTS A LUMP IN YOUR THROAT. MM. 505 00:18:10,856 --> 00:18:12,424 ANYWAY, UH, 506 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:15,327 I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT TO BE THE LUCKIEST S.O.B. ALIVE... 507 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:16,895 [ INHALES SHARPLY ] BUT IF I HAVE 508 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,798 JUST EVEN A FEW GRAINS LEFT IN THAT HOURGLASS... 509 00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,901 [ GRUNTS ] I'M GONNA BE SPENDING IT WITH... 510 00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:23,236 [ SIGHS ] WOW. 511 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,771 I ALMOST JUST CALLED HER BY HER CHILDHOOD NICKNAME THERE. 512 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:26,905 [ LAUGHS ] MNH-MNH. 513 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,409 AH, WHAT THE HELL? 514 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,910 MY LITTLE BUNNY FOO-FOO. 515 00:18:30,942 --> 00:18:32,845 [ CRYING ] OH, NO. LET ME WALK YOU OUT, DAN. 516 00:18:32,878 --> 00:18:34,480 BUNNY! THANKS FOR COMING. 517 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:37,584 BUNNY! 518 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,152 [ CLAIRE CRYING ] WHO'S DAN SIGNER? 519 00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:40,752 I THOUGHT WE WERE GRABBING A BEER AT THE CLUB. 520 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,755 JUST KEEP WALKING, MEL. 521 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,825 OKAY. UH, LILY, ARE YOU BUSY? 522 00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:47,026 DEPENDS. 523 00:18:47,058 --> 00:18:49,596 WELL, WE WANTED TO HAVE A LITTLE TALK ABOUT FEELINGS. 524 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,131 OH, ACTUALLY, I HAVE THIS PROJECT DUE TOMORROW -- 525 00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:54,000 OKAY, HONEY. NO, NO. IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 526 00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:55,535 LET'S JUST SIT DOWN. 527 00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:58,837 LISTEN, WE JUST WANTED TO ASK IF YOU THINK I CRY TOO MUCH. 528 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,673 AND YOU CAN BE HONEST. 529 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,942 I DON'T WANT TO ANSWER 'CAUSE YOU MIGHT CRY. 530 00:19:02,974 --> 00:19:06,479 YEAH, WELL... [ Voice breaks ] OH! SHE CARES ABOUT MY FEELINGS! 531 00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,780 OKAY, LILY, WE THINK THAT MAYBE YOU DON'T GET EMOTIONAL 532 00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,883 BECAUSE DADDY GETS, YOU KNOW, SO EMOTIONAL 533 00:19:10,916 --> 00:19:12,184 BECAUSE HE KIND OF HANDLES 534 00:19:12,219 --> 00:19:14,621 THE EMOTIONS FOR THE ENTIRE HOUSE, YOU KNOW? I DO. 535 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,222 POSSIBLY THE ENTIRE BLOCK. OKAY. 536 00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:19,291 I JUST -- AND MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T FEEL ANYTHING. 537 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:20,692 I FEEL STUFF. 538 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,561 REALLY? BECAUSE WHEN WE WERE SICK A FEW WEEKS AGO, 539 00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:24,063 YOU DIDN'T SEEM TO CARE. 540 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,632 I DIDN'T CARE. 541 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,967 WELL, SHE'S NOT A LIAR. WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT. MM-HMM. 542 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,736 DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE CARED A LITTLE BIT? 543 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,002 WHY? YOU ALWAYS GET BETTER. 544 00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:33,205 WELL...SO FAR. 545 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,007 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "SO FAR"? 546 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,075 UM... WELL, UH... 547 00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:38,076 LIKE SOMEDAY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET BETTER? 548 00:19:38,109 --> 00:19:39,679 LIKE YOU'RE GONNA DIE? 549 00:19:39,711 --> 00:19:43,015 NO! NO, NO, NO, NO. NOT -- NOT FOR A VERY, VERY LONG TIME. 550 00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:44,817 THEN WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT IT NOW? 551 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,152 WELL, HEY, YOU BROUGHT IT UP. 552 00:19:46,184 --> 00:19:47,253 I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT -- 553 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,154 STOP! YOU'RE MAKING ME SAD! 554 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,156 OKAY, WELL, SHE HAS FEELINGS. 555 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,026 WELL, YES, AND IT SEEMS THAT SHE WANTS TO KEEP US ALIVE. 556 00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:55,427 SO ALL IN ALL, A GOOD DAY OF PARENTING. 557 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:57,730 Lily: I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH AUNT CLAIRE! 558 00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,398 OH. LILY! 559 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:04,202 Gloria: PARENTS MAKE SO MANY MISTAKES WITH THEIR CHILDREN... 560 00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,872 I'VE ALIVE, SWEETHEART. 561 00:20:05,904 --> 00:20:07,606 BUT WHAT ABOUT DADDY? 562 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,040 I'M ALIVE, TOO. 563 00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:10,277 COME HERE. COME ON, SWEETHEART. 564 00:20:10,309 --> 00:20:12,010 Gloria: BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE WE'RE TRYING SO HARD 565 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:14,280 TO MAKE THEM HAPPY. 566 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,615 NOT HER. NOT HER. OH, MY GOD. 567 00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:17,784 YOU'RE GONNA BE THE CUTEST GIRL AT THIS WHOLE SCHOOL. 568 00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:20,086 WAIT, THESE ARE GIRLS, RIGHT? 569 00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:23,256 [ ALEX AND HALEY GIGGLE ] 570 00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:26,224 Gloria: TRYING SO HARD TO KEEP THEM CLOSE... 571 00:20:28,327 --> 00:20:29,929 YOU COULD KNOCK. 572 00:20:29,961 --> 00:20:31,864 Gloria: EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW WE CAN'T. 573 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,300 I KNOW SOMEDAY I'M GONNA LOSE YOU TO ANOTHER WOMAN, 574 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,536 AND I'LL FIND A WAY TO BE OKAY WITH IT. 575 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:37,737 THANKS, KYLIE. 576 00:20:39,271 --> 00:20:40,373 BUT NOT TODAY. 577 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,545 SO I WALK INTO HIS OFFICE. 578 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,078 HE'S LOOKING AT A PICTURE OF ME AND HE'S CRYING. 579 00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:48,914 YOUR DAD? YEAH, I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER. 580 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,750 THIS IS WHY I'M GLAD I SHOW MY EMOTIONS IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS. 581 00:20:51,784 --> 00:20:53,219 I THINK THAT'S THE REASON THEY'RE FEELING -- 582 00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:54,554 PHIL, COULD WE AT LEAST STAY ON MY STORY 583 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:55,954 UNTIL THE OVEN PREHEATS? 584 00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,890 SORRY. I THOUGHT YOU WERE FINISHED. NO. 585 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,659 OKAY, SO ANYWAY, I WENT BACK LATER, 586 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,327 AND IT TURNS OUT HE WASN'T CRYING, 587 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,395 HE WAS PLUCKING HIS NOSE HAIRS. 588 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,131 I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT. 589 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:06,665 YEAH, ME NEITHER. 590 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,233 TO WALK INTO THAT THEATER AND SEE THEIR CUTE LITTLE HEADS 591 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,836 TOGETHER AFTER THEY'D BEEN FIGHTING ALL AFTERNOON. [ KNIFE THUDS ] 592 00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:12,939 [ SIGHS ] COME ON. YOU HAD TO HAVE BEEN DONE THAT TIME. 593 00:21:12,971 --> 00:21:14,272 NO. IS IT ME? [ KNIFE CLATTERS ] 594 00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:16,776 IS IT THE WAY THAT I TELL STORIES? 595 00:21:16,808 --> 00:21:21,448 AM I SO BORING OR IS EVERYONE IN THIS FAMILY THAT SELF-INVOLVED? 596 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,082 AS I WAS SAYING... 597 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:25,250 HER NAME IS ALAINA AND SHE'S FROM NORTH CAROLINA. 598 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,086 THAT'S MY ROOMMATE. 599 00:21:27,118 --> 00:21:28,320 NOW I'M DONE.