1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,572 HEY, ALL Y'ALL. WHAT'S GOING DOWN? 2 00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,006 MY OPINION OF YOU. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,474 WHAT'S WITH THE FAKE GLASSES? 4 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:10,343 AS AN ACTUAL GLASSES WEARER, THIS IS OFFENSIVE. 5 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:13,314 IT'S LIKE NON-DISABLED PEOPLE WHO PARK IN HANDICAPPED SPACES. 6 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,715 I WAS IN AND OUT IN THREE MINUTES, YOUNG LADY, 7 00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:18,185 AND IT WAS YOUR STYE MEDICATION I WAS PICKING UP. 8 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,420 THAT'S A LOT OF BRACELETS THERE, BUDDY. 9 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:22,455 JUST IGNORE THEM. THEY'RE BEING SHEEP. 10 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,457 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] IF I'D LISTENED TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAID, 11 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,626 I'D NEVER HAVE ROCKED MY '90s FROSTED TIPS. 12 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:27,795 WE'VE GOT PICTURES. 13 00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,129 NO, WE DON'T. 14 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:30,263 YOU'RE AN ORIGINAL, SON. 15 00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:32,865 WHEN THEY MADE YOU, THEY BROKE THE MOLD. 16 00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:34,902 WHAT'S GOOD, L.D.? 17 00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:36,270 YO, WILL. 18 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:39,972 LUKE, UM, THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO ASK THIS. 19 00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:41,274 ARE YOU IN A BOY BAND? 20 00:00:41,308 --> 00:00:42,609 SO, WE'RE GONNA GO HANG AT THE PIER. 21 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:43,777 YOU IN? 22 00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:46,646 SOUNDS COOL, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN. 23 00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:47,914 THAT'S RIGHT. WE GOT A BIG DAY PLANNED. 24 00:00:47,948 --> 00:00:50,049 HE'S COMING TO WORK WITH THE OLD MAN. 25 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:50,850 SORRY. 26 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,051 NEXT TIME. 27 00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:53,186 DEUCES. 28 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,088 DEUCES. 29 00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:55,889 WORD TO YOUR MOTHERS. 30 00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,957 SERIOUSLY, DAVID. TELL YOUR MOM I SAY HI. 31 00:00:57,990 --> 00:00:59,960 Claire: THERE SHE IS -- OUR LITTLE GENIUS. 32 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:01,661 LOOK AT MY CONSCIENTIOUS LITTLE GIRL 33 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,831 GETTING READY TO LEAVE FOR COLLEGE A WHOLE DAY EARLY. 34 00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:05,266 I'M LEAVING TODAY. 35 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,766 WHAT? NO. 36 00:01:06,799 --> 00:01:08,602 NO, NO. NO, NO. WE HAVE A PLAN. 37 00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:11,105 I-I WAS GONNA MAKE YOUR FAVORITE MEAL FOR DINNER, 38 00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:13,540 AND THEN WE WERE GONNA FIGHT BECAUSE OF SEPARATION ANXIETY, 39 00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:14,707 AND THEN TOMORROW MORNING, 40 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,176 WE WOULD MAKE UP BEFORE YOU LEAVE FOR GOOD. 41 00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:17,510 I JUST -- OH! 42 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,412 NO, NO, GUYS, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DIDN'T TELL YOU! 43 00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:21,349 BUT I CAN'T TAKE YOU. I HAVE A SHOWING. 44 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:24,585 I WAS GONNA BURN A CD OF GOODBYE SONGS FOR THE RIDE. 45 00:01:24,617 --> 00:01:26,454 I HAVE NEVER FELT BETTER ABOUT A DECISION. 46 00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,121 LOOK, I'M ONLY 30 MINUTES AWAY, 47 00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:29,757 AND I'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS. 48 00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:31,558 I ALREADY ASKED HALEY TO TAKE ME. 49 00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,627 WELL, I BETTER GET GOING. 50 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,063 YOU MAY EACH HUG ME FOR FIVE SECONDS. 51 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,932 I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY LITTLE GIRL. 52 00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:42,034 [ Singing ] GOODBYE, NOR-- 53 00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:43,069 TIME'S UP. MOM. 54 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,771 I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, 55 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,807 AND I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA ACHIEVE GREAT THINGS IN THIS WORLD, 56 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,841 AND I JUST READ ABOUT THIS NEW NAIL POLISH THAT CHANGES COLORS 57 00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,343 IF YOU DIP IT IN A DRINK THAT HAS A ROOFIE -- 58 00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:52,412 -NEXT. -I'M GOOD. 59 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:53,546 ALL RIGHT, COOL. 60 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,682 WELL, I WILL TEXT YOU GUYS WHEN I GET THERE. 61 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,685 I'M TAKING HIS FIVE SECONDS. 62 00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,719 -- Captions by VITAC -- 63 00:02:06,826 --> 00:02:09,862 ** 64 00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:14,301 IT'S A TRAGEDY -- NO OTHER WAY TO PUT IT. 65 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,036 SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY, TOO. 66 00:02:16,068 --> 00:02:18,472 WE JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT LILY HAS A SOCCER GAME 67 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,307 AND WE ALL HAVE TO BE THERE. 68 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,141 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE AN EXCUSE. 69 00:02:22,175 --> 00:02:23,311 I'M SORRY! 70 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,978 I RAN INTO CAM AT THE MARKET. 71 00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:26,979 HE ASKED IF WE COULD GO. I PANICKED. 72 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,382 I SHOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT. 73 00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,082 OH, YEAH, YOU SHOT YOURSELF ON YOUR FOOT, 74 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:31,718 YOU PUT YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH, 75 00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,187 YOU PUT THE SHOE IN THE WRONG FOOT. 76 00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:36,623 WHAT IS WITH YOU AMERICANS AND THE FOOT? 77 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,058 I HATE THAT PAINTING, BY THE WAY. 78 00:02:39,091 --> 00:02:42,094 I'M HAVING THE LAST CRONUT. I'M SO DEPRESSED. 79 00:02:42,128 --> 00:02:44,497 I'M SORRY, KID. I THINK ANDY ATE IT. 80 00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,098 SO THE GAME STARTS AT 2:00, RIGHT? 81 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,100 JAY ATE THE LAST CRONUT. 82 00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:50,103 NO ONE LIKES A TATTLETALE, KID. 83 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,673 THANK YOU, BABY, FOR BEING SO HONEST. 84 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:54,106 SO WE SHOULD LEAVE IN ABOUT AN HOUR. 85 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,442 WHAT IS THIS "WE"? 86 00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:59,111 I HAVE TO GO AND REGISTER JOE FOR THE WINTER CAMP. 87 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,382 MOMMY'S GOING TO BUY SHOES. 88 00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:03,350 I DID NOT RAISE A RAT! 89 00:03:03,383 --> 00:03:04,585 NOBODY GETS OUT OF THIS. 90 00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:07,388 WORLD'S WORST SPORT, WORLD'S WORST PLAYERS OF IT. 91 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,156 22 GIRLS IN A CLUSTER 92 00:03:09,188 --> 00:03:11,391 ZIG-ZAGGING ACROSS A FIELD LIKE A BUSTED ROOMBA. 93 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:15,062 EXCEPT THE ONLY THING IT SUCKS UP IS TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE. 94 00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:18,331 BEHOLD, THE UNSELLABLE HOUSE. 95 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,599 TWO YEARS ON THE MARKET, 96 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:22,836 IT'S CRUSHED THE SOUL OF EVERY REAL-ESTATE AGENT IN TOWN. 97 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:26,306 TODD AND TERRY TAYLOR, THE SPOUSES SELLING HOUSES -- 98 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,040 THEY'RE NO LONGER EITHER. 99 00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,610 I USED TO LOVE GOING TO WORK WITH MY DAD 100 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,211 TO HIS GROCERY STORE, FRANK'S FOOD TOWN. 101 00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:34,414 I GOT TO WATCH HIM CRACK UP THE DELI TEAM 102 00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,149 BY PRETENDING TO LOSE A FINGER, 103 00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:39,086 OR HE'D PULL OUT AN ORANGE FROM THE PYRAMID 104 00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,121 AND SOMEHOW, IT WOULDN'T FALL. 105 00:03:41,153 --> 00:03:43,257 I DON'T CARE WHAT THE SIGN OUT FRONT SAID -- 106 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,459 SAVINGS WASN'T KING. MY DAD WAS. 107 00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:46,759 YOU KNOW, WITH ALEX LEAVING, 108 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,996 YOU AND I ARE GONNA GET TO SPEND A LOT MORE TIME TOGETHER. 109 00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:50,463 WAIT. 110 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:53,300 WHAT THE WHATSIT? 111 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:54,735 THOSE ARE DUCK EGGS. 112 00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,603 COOL. SO -- 113 00:03:56,637 --> 00:03:59,272 REMEMBER HOW YOU AND I USED TO TALK ABOUT RAISING DUCKLINGS 114 00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,074 AND BUILDING THEM A LITTLE BIRD CIRCUS? 115 00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:02,342 KIND OF. 116 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,211 HEY, HOW LONG DO YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA BE HERE TODAY? 117 00:04:04,243 --> 00:04:06,179 OH, I LIKE WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS -- 118 00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:07,681 MAKE IT A TIME CHALLENGE. 119 00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:13,020 I THINK I CAN GET 'ER DONE IN UNDER FIVE HOURS. 120 00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:15,455 THAT'LL LEAVE US TIME TO GET TO THE TRAMPOLINE PARK. 121 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:16,656 OH, AND SURPRISE. 122 00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:18,925 WE'RE GOING TO THE TRAMPOLINE PARK. 123 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,259 BOING! 124 00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:23,096 [ SOBBING ] 125 00:04:23,129 --> 00:04:25,332 HIS LIFE WILL BE REM-- 126 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,567 [ SOBBING INTENSIFIES ] 127 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,636 NO. 128 00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:30,303 SO, BUSY TIME AT THE HOUSE LATELY. 129 00:04:30,338 --> 00:04:31,305 FUN BUSY. 130 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:32,340 I'VE TAKEN ON SOME WORK 131 00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:34,106 HELPING PEOPLE WITH ESTATES AND WILLS. 132 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:36,043 IT'S SADDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. 133 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,944 FUN SAD. 134 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,346 NO, NO, DON'T SHOOT! BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG! 135 00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:40,648 OH! OH, NO! 136 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,582 OH, I'M DYING! I'M DYING! 137 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,016 [ GROANS ] 138 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:47,420 MEANTIME, I'M RUNNING A SIDE BUSINESS WE STARTED 139 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,358 DOING SHORT-TERM RENTALS ON OUR UNIT UPSTAIRS. 140 00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:53,494 WE CALL OURSELVES THE ARTFUL LODGERS. 141 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:54,694 MITCHELL, BY ANY CHANCE 142 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,062 WHEN YOU WERE FILLING OUT THE NEW RENTAL AGREEMENT, 143 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:59,600 DID YOU FORGET TO MARK NO PETS, OR, SPECIFICALLY, DOGS? 144 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,134 [ SNEEZES ] OH, SORRY, SORRY, OOH! 145 00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,101 YOU REMEMBER THE DONALDSONS? 146 00:05:02,134 --> 00:05:03,002 OH. 147 00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:05,172 THIS IS A VANDERKOFF. 148 00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:07,173 YOU KNOW, S-SOME COUPLES MIGHT FEEL THE STRAIN 149 00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:08,875 AND TAKE IT OUT ON ONE ANOTHER. 150 00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:11,177 [ Cockney accent ] BUT NOT THE ARTFUL LODGERS. 151 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,514 THIS MORNING WAS TOUGH. 152 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:14,682 THERE, THERE. 153 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,850 AND WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, THERE AND THERE. 154 00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:18,151 [ GIRLS SCREAMING ] WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, GIRLS. 155 00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,187 NO, NO, NO. NOT A GOOD TIME, NOT A GOOD TIME. 156 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,055 WASN'T DADDY SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVING YOU TO OUR GAME? 157 00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,223 DADDY'S BEEN A LITTLE BIT BUSY HIMSELF DEALING WITH LINENS 158 00:05:24,257 --> 00:05:25,759 THAT NO GUEST HAS EVER CALLED SCRATCHY BEFORE. 159 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,427 IS THERE A WAY TO MAKE THE ROOM NOT SO COLD? 160 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,762 DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WAKE UP 161 00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:31,331 NEXT TO YOUR HUSBAND ONE MORNING AND HE'S COLD AS ICE? 162 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:33,000 YES. [ SOBBING ] 163 00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,634 YEAH, I'LL WORK ON THAT WHILE YOU EAT BREAKFAST. 164 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,336 -DID YOU MAKE THE FRENCH TOAST? -YES, IT'S RIGHT ON THE COUNTER. 165 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,704 THAT'S FRENCH TOAST. WHAT'S HAPPENING? 166 00:05:37,737 --> 00:05:39,372 I WANTED REGULAR TOAST FOR THE FRENCH PEOPLE. 167 00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:40,973 SURELY THERE WAS A BETTER WAY TO DESCRIBE THAT. 168 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,242 HE'S ALLERGIC TO EGGS, MITCHELL. 169 00:05:42,274 --> 00:05:43,944 [ COUGHING, WHEEZING ] 170 00:05:43,976 --> 00:05:45,812 WH-- OKAY, W-WHY DID YOU EAT THAT? 171 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,480 WHY -- WHY DID HE EAT THAT? 172 00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,550 OKAY, MAYBE WE SHOULD FINISH THIS UP ANOTHER TIME. 173 00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:51,519 AND JUST SO YOU KNOW -- OOH! 174 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,653 I DO -- I DO WORK ON REFERRALS. 175 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:58,526 ANYWAY, HERE IS A ROOM YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE -- 176 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:01,394 YOUR VERY OWN MAN CA-- 177 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:02,896 CLOSET. MAN CLOSET. 178 00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:04,598 WHO LOVES, UH, BASEMENTS? 179 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:06,033 THAT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION. 180 00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:10,637 HAVE I GOT A BASEMENT FOR YOU. 181 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:12,673 WATCH YOUR STEP COMING DOWN. 182 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,476 BECAUSE IT'S A FINISHED BASEMENT, 183 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:17,845 YOU CAN ACTUALLY COUNT THE SQUARE -- 184 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:20,548 HUH. 185 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:23,516 I DON'T THINK THIS HOUSE IS KID-FRIENDLY. 186 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,951 WELL, YOU SAID IT YOURSELF 187 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:26,954 WHEN WE WERE TAKING THE TOWROPE UP THE DRIVEWAY. 188 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,288 THIS -- THIS HOUSE LOOKS LIKE A WEIRD SPACESHIP. 189 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,757 KIDS LOVE SPACESHIPS. 190 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:31,725 DON'T THEY, LUKE? 191 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:33,060 YEAH. 192 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,696 I REMEMBER ONE DAY, I WAS AROUND LUKE'S AGE, 193 00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,298 AND I WASN'T ALL THAT HAPPY TO BE AT FOOD TOWN, 194 00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:40,266 BUT MY DAD KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO. 195 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:44,204 HE GETS ON THE P.A. AND HE SAYS, "ATTENTION, SHOPPERS," 196 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,072 AND THEN HE HANDS THE MIKE TO ME. 197 00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:48,675 I WAS LIKE, "WHAT?" [ CHUCKLES ] 198 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:52,812 "UH, RED WING PEANUT BUTTER -- $1.69 FOR TWO." 199 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,749 [ LAUGHS ] 200 00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,617 HE LOST A LOT OF MONEY ON THAT SALE, 201 00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,120 BUT IT'S A RUSH I'LL NEVER FORGET. 202 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:03,089 IT'S LIKE BEING ON A SUBMARINE, RIGHT? 203 00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:04,324 [ LAUGHS ] 204 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:07,528 YOU GUYS, UH, FANS OF TOM CLANCY? 205 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:10,798 OH, UH, YOU KNOW WHAT? LUKE'LL FINISH THE TOUR. 206 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:11,865 IT'S THE OFFICE. 207 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:14,401 It's not ringing. This is your moment. 208 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,168 HELLO? 209 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:17,937 FOLLOW ME, I GUESS. 210 00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,043 HOW DID WE GET ON THE SECOND FLOOR? 211 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,411 ISN'T IT GREAT? 212 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,079 THERE'S AN IMPERCEPTIBLE RISE. 213 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,548 SO YOU GUYS CAN EITHER REVERSE COURSE 214 00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,884 OR TAKE TURNS SLIDING DOWN THE FIREMAN'S POLE. 215 00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:31,851 LUKE'LL SHOW YOU. 216 00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:34,221 HUH? OH. H-HANG ON. 217 00:07:36,689 --> 00:07:38,658 BUT BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T LET MOM AND DAD CRY OVER YOU, 218 00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:39,992 THAT EMOTION IS GONNA BUILD UP 219 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,829 AND EXPLODE ALL OVER LUKE AND ME. 220 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,797 I'M SORRY. I JUST COULDN'T WANT. 221 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:46,066 DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I'VE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT THIS DAY? 222 00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:47,300 LEAVING YOUR FAMILY? 223 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,569 DON'T TURN IT INTO AN INSULT. 224 00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:50,470 I'M JUST REALLY READY FOR THIS. 225 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:53,906 I'M FINALLY SURROUNDED BY SMART, CURIOUS PEOPLE. 226 00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,042 OKAY. 227 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:56,242 SO, I'M GONNA GO. 228 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:57,577 HI! YOU MUST BE ALEX. 229 00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,045 I'M YOUR ROOMIE. I'M MAISIE. 230 00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,781 MY DAD SAYS IT'S SHORT FOR AMAZING, BUT IT'S NOT. 231 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,817 -WAIT, I-I PICKED A DIFFERENT -- -ROOMMATE, I KNOW. 232 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,418 SHE GOT SICK -- WELL, SHE HAD A PANIC ATTACK. 233 00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:07,920 I CAN SYMPATHIZE. I USUALLY GET ONE RIGHT BEFORE MY CYCLE. 234 00:08:07,954 --> 00:08:10,557 ANYWAYS, THEY DENIED HER VISA AND SHE'S STILL IN NORWAY. 235 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,391 "HELP! THERE'S NORWAY OUT." 236 00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:13,894 [ LAUGHS ] 237 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,696 [ WHIMPERS ] UH, HOW OLD ARE YOU? 238 00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:18,098 OH, I'M 15, BUT I'VE SEEN FOUR R-RATED MOVIES ALREADY. 239 00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,832 I'M SO EXCITED YOU'RE HERE. 240 00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:20,934 WHERE SHOULD I PUT MY MEDICINES? 241 00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,002 YEAH, SO YOU ARE GOOD TO GO. I'M FINE. 242 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,103 OH, NOT QUITE YET. 243 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:27,074 SO, MAISIE, DO YOU SPEAK ANY LANGUAGES? 244 00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:32,312 UH, Sí, OUI, DA, J AND OF COURSE I ALSO SPEAK WOOKIEE. 245 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,081 [ GROWLS LIKE A WOOKIEE ] 246 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,615 AHH! THIS IS GONNA BE SO MUCH FUN! 247 00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:36,683 Haley: [ SQUEALS ] 248 00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,384 YAY! [ GIGGLES ] 249 00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:41,388 THEY'VE BEEN HERE 2 DAYS AND THEY'VE USED 18 TOWELS, 250 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,822 YET THE SOAP IS UNTOUCHED. 251 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,357 WHAT ARE THEY -- SLOUGHING EACH OTHER CLEAN LIKE ELEPHANTS? 252 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,360 MITCHELL. GREAT, YOU'RE HERE. 253 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,162 COACH CHUCK HAD A DEATH IN THE FAMILY. 254 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,764 OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REMEMBERING ABOUT THE REFERRALS. 255 00:08:51,798 --> 00:08:53,133 I DON'T HAVE A CARD ON ME RIGHT NOW, BUT -- 256 00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:54,400 OH, NO. 257 00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,669 HE CAN'T COME, AND SINCE YOU'RE THE ASSISTANT COACH, 258 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,871 YOU'RE IN CHARGE. OH. OH. 259 00:08:58,905 --> 00:08:59,907 OKAY. 260 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:01,541 [ CHUCKLES ] WOW. 261 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:02,842 THINK YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY WITH THAT? 262 00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:04,644 ASSISTANT COACH, COACH. WHAT'S THE BIG DIFF? 263 00:09:04,677 --> 00:09:07,748 WELL, AS AN ACTUAL COACH, UM, DIFF. 264 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,682 COME ON, TODAY'S ABOUT BEING OUT IN THE FRESH AIR, 265 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,484 FORGETTING ABOUT OUR PROBLEMS AT HOME, 266 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:12,919 SPENDING SOME QUALITY TIME WITH THE FAMILY. 267 00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:14,988 -YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. -WHERE IS MY FAMILY? 268 00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,255 YOU DON'T THINK THEY'RE STANDING US UP, DO YOU? 269 00:09:16,288 --> 00:09:17,658 YOU KNOW, WHEN I SAW JAY AT THE GROCERY STORE 270 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:18,958 AND ASKED HIM IF THEY WERE COMING, 271 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:21,061 HE TOOK A SAMPLE MEATBALL AND CHEWED IT FOR A FULL MINUTE 272 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,230 BEFORE HE SAID YES, SO... 273 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,567 OH! YOU ALL ARE STILL HERE. 274 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,101 Jay: HOW OFTEN DO YOU BREAK IN HERE? 275 00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:30,537 DOES THAT EXPLAIN THE WHITE WINE? 276 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,938 WE FIRED A CLEANING LADY. 277 00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:33,039 LISTEN, I THOUGHT YOU GUYS 278 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,441 WOULD ALREADY BE AT LILY'S SOCCER GAME, 279 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:35,709 AND THINGS HAVE BEEN PRETTY EMOTIONAL 280 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:36,809 AT MY HOUSE THIS MORNING. 281 00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:38,645 I JUST WANTED A COUPLE HOURS BY THE POOL. 282 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:41,715 CLAIRE MUST HAVE LEFT THE ICE BUCKET BY THE JACUZZI, TOO. 283 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,984 I WILL WRITE THE CLEANING LADY A LETTER. 284 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,818 HOW'D YOU GET OUT OF LILY'S GAME? 285 00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:47,888 I LIED AND SAID THAT ALEX WAS LEAVING FOR SCHOOL TODAY, 286 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,456 WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE, SO I'M OFF THE HOOK. 287 00:09:50,490 --> 00:09:51,859 YOU GUYS LET ME KNOW WHAT I MISS. 288 00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,326 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 289 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,695 COULD YOU GET THAT? 290 00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:56,129 YELLO? MITCHELL: Claire? 291 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,065 What are you doing there? We've been waiting -- 292 00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,532 OH, GOD, OH, GOD, OH, GOD. 293 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:01,201 I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. 294 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,470 THEY WANT MORE TOWELS. WHAT ARE THEY, MIDWIVES? 295 00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,038 HERE. 296 00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:06,538 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] JUST IGNORE IT. 297 00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:11,477 [ CELLPHONES RING ] 298 00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:12,946 HOW MANY PHONES DOES HE HAVE? 299 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,413 PICK UP. ANYBODY. I -- 300 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,816 YOU KNOW, I COULD GET MORE PHONES. 301 00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,017 COULD I-- 302 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,619 [ CELLPHONES RINGING ] HE'S NEVER GONNA STOP. 303 00:10:19,653 --> 00:10:21,822 MITCHELL, HI. HEY, CAN'T TALK. 304 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,756 I'M JUST LEAVING MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW WITH ALEX. 305 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,259 I know you're at Dad's house. 306 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,661 YEAH, OKAY. UM, LOOK. 307 00:10:27,695 --> 00:10:29,929 I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY ANYTHING. DAD GOT IN AN ACCIDENT. 308 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,131 HE'S FINE. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, BUT I GOT TO GO. 309 00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:33,165 BYE. 310 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,400 THAT WAS PATHETIC. 311 00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:35,368 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] 312 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,070 LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE. 313 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,772 HELLO, MITCHELL. 314 00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:41,107 MITCHELL: So I hear my dad had a little accident? 315 00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:44,778 YES, OF COURSE, WELL, THE ACCIDENT THAT YOUR FATHER HAD 316 00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:49,515 IS THAT ACTUALLY HE SHOT HIMSELF IN THE FOOT. 317 00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:54,453 TRUST ME. HE BELIEVED ME. 318 00:10:54,486 --> 00:10:56,355 YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ANY PHONE RINGINGS RIGHT NOW, 319 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:57,157 ARE YOU? 320 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,524 SO, THIS IS TURNING INTO 321 00:10:58,557 --> 00:11:00,727 A WHOLE GROUP THING BY THE POOL. 322 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,195 OUR POOL. 323 00:11:02,229 --> 00:11:04,865 UM, YOU GUYS, I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM CAM. 324 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,700 GIVE ME THAT. 325 00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:10,437 "GOSH, I SURE DO HOPE JAY'S ALL RIGHT. 326 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,504 IT'S UNBELIEVABLE SOMETHING LIKE THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED." 327 00:11:12,538 --> 00:11:13,605 YOU'RE WELCOME. 328 00:11:13,639 --> 00:11:14,741 FANTASTIC. 329 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:15,942 IT'S PERFECT. WE'RE ALL GOOD. 330 00:11:15,975 --> 00:11:17,576 WELL, YOU GUYS, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LISTEN AGAIN, 331 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:19,678 ONLY THIS TIME, I'LL BE CAM. 332 00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:22,716 [ Sarcastically ] "GOSH, I SURE DO HOPE JAY IS ALL RIGHT." 333 00:11:22,750 --> 00:11:26,119 IT'S UNBELIEVABLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS COULD HAPPEN." 334 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:29,288 WE'RE SCREWED. 335 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,356 OKAY, THEY'RE COMING, 336 00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:32,225 BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY WERE GONNA BAIL? 337 00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:34,594 KEEP YOUR -- KEEP YOUR EYES DOWN. EYES DOWN. 338 00:11:34,626 --> 00:11:36,363 HAVE WE MISSED A SINGLE ONE OF THEIR KIDS' EVENTS? 339 00:11:36,395 --> 00:11:37,429 AND IT'S NOT LIKE WE DON'T HAVE 340 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,032 A MILLION THINGS GOING ON RIGHT NOW. 341 00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,133 FOLLOW THROUGH! 342 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,301 YEAH, LIKE WHEN WE HAD TO SIT THROUGH THAT 343 00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,070 SANITIZED FIFTH-GRADE PRODUCTION OF "RENT" 344 00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:44,604 WHERE THEY ALL GOT HEAD COLDS? 345 00:11:44,636 --> 00:11:47,106 KEEP YOUR LEG STRAIGHT. KEEP YOUR LEG STRAIGHT FOR ME. 346 00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:48,908 CAM, CAN YOU NOT DO THAT? WHAT? 347 00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,610 WELL, IT'S JUST THAT, YOU KNOW, I'M KIND OF COACH, SO -- 348 00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,013 IT JUST SEEMS WEIRD THAT THIS IS THE TIME 349 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,346 THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP ME. 350 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,015 OKAY, AND IN WHAT WAY AM I NOT HELPFUL? 351 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,885 OKAY, WELL, WHEN I'M WITH A BEREAVED CLIENT, SAY, 352 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,821 AND YOU DECIDE THAT THAT'S THE PERFECT MOMENT 353 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:03,190 FOR A SCENERY-CHEWING DEATH SCENE. 354 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,957 UNLIKE THE TREMENDOUS HELP YOU'VE BEEN TO ME 355 00:12:04,991 --> 00:12:06,158 RUNNING THE ARTFUL LODGER. 356 00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:07,927 YOU COULDN'T EVEN REGISTER THE DOMAIN NAME. 357 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,028 I NEVER LIKED THAT NAME, ANYWAYS. 358 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,096 AND THERE IT IS. 359 00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,398 OH, OH, I SEE WHAT THIS IS. 360 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,664 WHAT? JEALOUSY. 361 00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:14,567 OH! YEAH! YEAH. 362 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,036 'CAUSE YOUR FOOTBALL TEAM CAN'T SEEM TO WIN, 363 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,038 BUT HERE I AM 4-0. 364 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,239 YEAH. OKAY, PLEASE. 365 00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,207 THIS IS LITTLE GIRLS' SOCCER. 366 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,875 IT'S NOT EVEN A REAL SPORT. 367 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,913 [ PARENTS GASP ] 368 00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,346 EXCUSE ME? 369 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:29,249 I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE. 370 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,283 OH, NO, I WAS JUST -- 371 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,251 LET'S NOT DO THIS THE HARD WAY. 372 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,855 IT'S THE WORST OF EVERYTHING. MM. 373 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,990 WE HAVE TO GO TO THE DAMN GAME. MM. 374 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,092 AND THEY'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE ANY OF OUR EXCUSES 375 00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:42,929 IN THE FUTURE, EVEN IF THEY'RE REAL. 376 00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:44,965 UNLESS... 377 00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,298 WHY DO YOU DO THAT? 378 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,400 WHY DO YOU SAY "UNLESS" AND THEN PAUSE? 379 00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:49,469 JUST FINISH THE THOUGHT. 380 00:12:49,501 --> 00:12:52,304 UNLESS JAY REALLY GETS SHOT IN THE FOOT. 381 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,908 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS, ONCE AGAIN, 382 00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:58,610 IN ONLY SEVEN YEARS OF MARRIAGE, BUT PLEASE PUT THE GUN DOWN. 383 00:12:58,644 --> 00:12:59,678 DON'T BE A BABY. 384 00:12:59,711 --> 00:13:01,881 IT'S A PELLET GUN. 385 00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:04,384 IT'S JUST GOING TO BE A LITTLE NICK ON THE SIDE, 386 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,653 AND THEN WE GO TO THE GAME. 387 00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,187 THEY'RE GONNA SEE THAT IT'S TRUE. 388 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:11,457 THEY'RE GONNA FEEL HORRIBLE BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T BELIEVE US, 389 00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:14,360 AND THEN WE DON'T HAVE TO GO TO ANYTHING FOR A WHOLE YEAR. 390 00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:15,928 MM. I HAVE TO SAY, IT MAKES SENSE. 391 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,364 NO, IT DOESN'T! 392 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:21,100 WHY DON'T I JUST BANDAGE MY FOOT UP AND LIMP ON IN THERE? 393 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,335 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 394 00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:25,471 IT HAS TO BE REAL BECAUSE IF THEY CATCH US FAKING IT, 395 00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:26,940 IT'S GOING TO BE WORSE. 396 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,174 PLEASE DON'T POINT THE GUN AT ME. 397 00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:29,509 OKAY, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. YOU HEARD MY DAD. 398 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:30,476 PUT THE GUN AWAY. WE JUST -- 399 00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:33,312 WE'LL HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE. 400 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:34,746 WHAT TO DO? 401 00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:36,448 SHOOT, SHOOT, SHOOT. 402 00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:37,517 OKAY, I'LL PUT THE GUN AWAY. [ POP! ] 403 00:13:37,549 --> 00:13:38,918 OW! OH! 404 00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:40,019 NO! 405 00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:42,288 NO! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE! 406 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,191 OW! I WASN'T EVEN LOOKING! 407 00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,592 I TURNED MY BACK ON YOU. I'M SO SORRY! 408 00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:48,995 WATCH THE SIPPY CUP. 409 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,066 [ POP! ] 410 00:13:57,836 --> 00:13:58,871 I HOPE YOU'RE A HEAVY-METAL FAN, 411 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,106 BECAUSE ALL THE HEAVY METALS ARE GOING 412 00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,173 RIGHT HERE ABOVE YOUR TROPHY. 413 00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:03,143 OH, HEY, COOL. MAISIE. 414 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,879 SO, I HEARD THEY'RE GIVING OUT MAILBOX KEYS DOWNSTAIRS, 415 00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:08,681 AND I WAS THINKING MAYBE YOU COULD PICK UP BOTH OF OURS? 416 00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,216 SURE THING, FRIEND! 417 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,619 WHAT A DAY -- I'VE GOT A MAILBOX AND A FRIEND! 418 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,321 YOU SURE DO. 419 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,889 COULD YOU TRY NOT TO ENJOY THIS SO MUCH? 420 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,557 THIS IS ME TRYING. 421 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,991 THIS ENDS NOW. 422 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,226 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 423 00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:22,062 WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING? I'M GETTING RID OF HER. 424 00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:27,067 I'M CALLING MY ADVISOR AND GETTING A NEW ROOMMATE. 425 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,735 HEY! 426 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:29,836 NO, GIVE THAT BACK. 427 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,604 NEED I REMIND YOU I AM A YELLOW BELT? 428 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,941 UGH, I CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF ALL YOUR UGLY BELTS, 429 00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:36,009 BUT I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD CHANGE ROOMMATES. 430 00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:39,011 LISTEN, AS MUCH AS YOU'RE MY GO-TO GIRL ON COLLEGE ADVICE, 431 00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,379 I REALLY -- OH, MY GOD. 432 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,514 WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR A SECOND? 433 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,216 HERE'S THE THING -- 434 00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,619 I HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE WITH A ROOMMATE. 435 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,888 SHE WAS THIS ANNOYING LITTLE KNOW-IT-ALL 436 00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,289 WHO TOTALLY GOT ON MY NERVES. 437 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:52,491 YEAH, I GET IT. OH, SHH! 438 00:14:52,524 --> 00:14:55,894 I SPENT A LONG TIME TRYING TO GET RID OF HER 439 00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:57,463 UNTIL I REALIZED THAT THAT LITTLE GIRL, 440 00:14:57,496 --> 00:15:00,432 IN HER OWN WAY, PUT ME ON A PEDESTAL. 441 00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:03,302 IT FELT GREAT. 442 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:07,240 YOU JUST LANDED IN A WORLD OF SUPERSTARS, 443 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:12,845 AND I KNOW YOU'D NEVER ADMIT IT, BUT YOU'RE SCARED. 444 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,249 IT'S NOT THE WORST THING TO HAVE YOUR OWN PERSONAL CHEERLEADER. 445 00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,486 I MISS MINE ALREADY. 446 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,129 WELL, I GUESS MY FIVE SECONDS IS UP. 447 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,602 YOU DON'T OFTEN SEE A 5/8 BATHROOM, 448 00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,404 BUT THEY'RE HIGHLY SOUGHT AFTER. 449 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,572 THE DEAL'S IN THE BAG, KID. 450 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:42,241 I'M JUST GONNA WRAP IT UP, AND THEN WE BOUNCE. 451 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,476 AND THEN WE BOUNCE. 452 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:45,677 TRAMPOLINE PARK. 453 00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:47,246 HOW ARE YOU NOT HIGH-BOINGING ME RIGHT NOW? 454 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,981 OH, I WAS THINKING OF 455 00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:51,084 MAYBE MEETING UP WITH MY CREW AT THE PIER. 456 00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,220 SURE THING. AFTER WE TRAMP. 457 00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:54,653 FINE. 458 00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:57,323 AFTER A WHILE, I STOPPED HANGING OUT WITH MY DAD AT THE STORE. 459 00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:58,658 I GOT BUSY WITH CHEER PRACTICE, 460 00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:01,827 AND I GUESS PYRAMIDS OF ORANGES DON'T SEEM SO GREAT 461 00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:05,264 AFTER YOU'VE BUILT PYRAMIDS OUT OF MAN. 462 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,667 I DON'T KNOW IF IT BOTHERED HIM THAT I STOPPED COMING AROUND, 463 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:12,938 BUT IF IT DID, HE NEVER LET IT SHOW. 464 00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:15,908 ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO THIS. 465 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:19,145 ACTUALLY, I THINK I, UH -- I TWISTED MY ANKLE 466 00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:21,413 JUMPING OUT OF THE WAY IN THAT ROOM FULL OF MURPHY BEDS. 467 00:16:21,447 --> 00:16:23,750 I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T GET ON A TRAMPOLINE. 468 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,251 YOU SHOULD GO HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS. 469 00:16:25,284 --> 00:16:26,586 REALLY? YEAH. 470 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,120 MIGHT BE FASTER IF THEY COME GET YOU, THOUGH. 471 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,023 I SHOULD DO ONE MORE SWEEP OF THE HOUSE. 472 00:16:30,057 --> 00:16:31,524 I THINK I LOST THE BLANSTONS. 473 00:16:33,225 --> 00:16:35,095 THANKS, DAD. 474 00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:36,796 DEUCES. 475 00:16:39,966 --> 00:16:41,668 LET'S GO, GIRLS! 476 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:43,470 UH, PASS AND MOVE! 477 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,306 THE PLAYERS SHOULD NEVER BE STANDING STILL! 478 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:49,341 THE BEST DEFENSE IS GOOD OFFENSE. 479 00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:50,610 WELL, NOW, THAT CAN'T BE TRUE. 480 00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,778 [ WHISTLE BLOWS ] HALFTIME! 481 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,746 OKAY, GOOD -- GOOD HALF! 482 00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:56,615 ALL RIGHT, WE'RE DOWN BY THREE, BUT THAT'S OKAY. 483 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,751 OH, HEY, LOOK. 484 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:00,919 LOOK WHO FINALLY SHOWED UP. 485 00:17:00,952 --> 00:17:02,389 NOT EASILY. 486 00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,624 AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE A SEVERELY INJURED FOOT. 487 00:17:04,656 --> 00:17:05,724 WHERE IS CAM? 488 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,027 UM, HE -- HE GOT BANISHED BY THE REF. 489 00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:10,930 OH, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN? BE SPECIFIC. 490 00:17:10,962 --> 00:17:12,298 WHO CARES? 491 00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:14,701 THE IMPORTANT THING IS I DID, IN FACT, SHOOT MYSELF IN THE -- 492 00:17:14,733 --> 00:17:16,969 SAVE IT. DON'T ADD INSULT TO FAKE INJURY. 493 00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:18,003 FAKE. YEAH. 494 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,138 SERIOUSLY? 495 00:17:20,972 --> 00:17:23,210 SAY HELLO TO HIS LITTLE TOE. 496 00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:25,144 OH, MY GOD. YOU REALLY -- OH. 497 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:28,047 SHOT MYSELF IN THE FOOT. YEAH, IT WAS SO SCARY. 498 00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,349 Sí. OH, AND THE BLOOD. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD. 499 00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,818 OH, BUT YOU GUYS -- YOU STILL SHOWED UP ANYWAY. 500 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,621 OF COURSE! WITHOUT A DOUBT. 501 00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,423 MOMMY SHOT JAY. 502 00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:37,824 I'M SORRY, WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU SAID -- 503 00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:41,327 YEAH, MOMMY SHOT JAY. AUNT CLAIRE SAID, "SHOOT HIM." 504 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,262 DAD. 505 00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:46,165 YOU WOULD RATHER TAKE A BULLET THAN SUPPORT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER? 506 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,700 THIS WAS REALLY GLORIA'S IDEA. 507 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,236 I'M SURROUNDED BY RATS. 508 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,302 MITCHELL, LISTEN TO ME. 509 00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:52,605 I KNOW "I'M SORRY" BARELY COVERS IT, 510 00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:55,074 BUT IT'S VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME TO COME HERE TODAY 511 00:17:55,107 --> 00:17:56,643 AND WATCH LITTLE GIRLS PLAYING SOCCER 512 00:17:56,675 --> 00:17:59,511 ON THE SAME DAY THAT MY LITTLE GIRL LEFT FOR COLLEGE. 513 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:00,712 Jay: WELL, ME TOO. 514 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,115 I MEAN, WATCHING MY LITTLE GRANDBABY GO OFF -- 515 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:04,651 DON'T JUMP ON MY THING. 516 00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:05,817 Debbie: SORRY TO INTERRUPT. 517 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,619 SO, THE PARENTS AND NANNIES VOTED, 518 00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:09,655 AND WE'RE GOING TO RELIEVE YOU OF YOUR COMMAND. 519 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,191 OH, BUT I'M THE COACH, SO -- 520 00:18:11,223 --> 00:18:12,192 I'M THE COACH NOW. 521 00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,893 OH, WHOA. 522 00:18:14,926 --> 00:18:16,962 GLAD YOU GOT HERE IN TIME TO SEE THAT. 523 00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,531 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] [ SIGHS ] IT'S NOT FUNNY, CLAIRE. 524 00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:22,701 HEY, CAM. WHERE ARE YOU? 525 00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,770 In the parking lot with binoculars. 526 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:25,904 WHAT -- WHEN DID -- 527 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,307 WHEN DID YOU BUY AN ARMY JACKET? 528 00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:29,276 Not him, to the left. 529 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:30,343 OH, HI. 530 00:18:30,376 --> 00:18:32,179 SO YOU LET DEBBIE TAKE YOUR WHISTLE? 531 00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:34,381 WELL, YEAH, I CAN'T BLAME HER. I'M A TERRIBLE COACH. 532 00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:36,715 I MEAN, I'M SORRY I-I PUSHED YOU AWAY. 533 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,317 No, no, no. You hush up. 534 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,051 I'M THE ONE WHO'S SORRY. YOU KNOW WHAT? 535 00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,288 I'VE BEEN TRYING TO PRETEND LIKE 536 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,021 THE PRESSURE HASN'T GOTTEN TO ME, BUT IT HAS. 537 00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:44,557 OH, MY GOD. ME TOO. 538 00:18:44,590 --> 00:18:45,857 I -- I ALWAYS THOUGHT WE WERE THAT COUPLE 539 00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:47,894 THAT COULD RISE ABOVE TOUGH TIMES, YOU KNOW? 540 00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:49,028 I JUST -- I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE 541 00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:50,462 THERE'S DISTANCE BETWEEN US. 542 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:51,698 WHAT? SORRY, YOU'RE -- SAY THAT AGAIN. 543 00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:52,898 YOU'RE BREAKING UP. I DIDN'T HEAR YOU. 544 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,267 -WHAT? HUH? -WHAT? T-THERE YOU ARE. 545 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:55,101 [ WHISTLE BLOWS ] 546 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,269 Referee: SECOND HALF, GIRLS. 547 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,538 OH, GOD. OKAY. INTERMISSION'S OVER. I GOT TO -- 548 00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:00,640 Okay, listen up, Bub. You go get your team back. 549 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,041 WE NEED THIS. YOU'RE GONNA GET US A WIN TODAY. 550 00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,009 HOW? 551 00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:05,044 JUST GO GET YOUR WHISTLE BACK. 552 00:19:05,076 --> 00:19:06,546 LOOK AT ME. 553 00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:07,814 WE GOT THIS. 554 00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:09,949 OKAY, SO WE'RE DOWN BY THREE, BUT -- HI! 555 00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:12,251 HEY! SO, I GOT THIS FROM HERE, SO -- 556 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:13,353 [ SCOFFS ] WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? 557 00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:14,586 WHAT I WAS BORN TO DO. 558 00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:15,788 I AM A COACH, DAMN IT. 559 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:16,855 [ GRUNTS ] 560 00:19:16,888 --> 00:19:18,290 OH, GOD. I'M SO SORRY. 561 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,559 THAT CAME OFF SO MUCH EASIER WHEN YOU DID IT. 562 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,128 AS OUR HISTORY WITH COSTUME PARTIES HAS TAUGHT US -- 563 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,464 WE SHINE BRIGHTEST WHEN WE WORK AS A TEAM. 564 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,865 YEAH. 565 00:19:26,898 --> 00:19:29,336 OKAY, HAVE THE FORWARDS FORM A TRIANGLE, SPREAD THE DEFENSE. 566 00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,103 OKAY, UH, FORWARDS, FORM A TRIANGLE. 567 00:19:31,136 --> 00:19:32,305 SPREAD THE DEFENSE. 568 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,374 BY LATE IN THE HALF, WE HAD TIED THE SCORE. 569 00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:36,843 PROVING ONCE AGAIN, THE BEST OFFENSE IS A GOOD DEFENSE. 570 00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:39,144 THAT'S LIKE SAYING THE BEST HAT IS A SHOE. 571 00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:42,648 OKAY, WITH 10 SECONDS LEFT, LILY WAS OPEN ON THE WING. 572 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:43,682 Now have her pass to Lily. 573 00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:44,951 PASS TO LILY! 574 00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:46,685 SHE PASSED TO LILY. I can see. 575 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:47,920 OH! [ WHISTLE BLOWS ] 576 00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:49,855 WHAT?! YES! YES! YES! 577 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,057 WHOO, WHOO! 578 00:19:52,090 --> 00:19:53,759 THAT WAS ME. I DID THAT. 579 00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:55,561 Claire: UH-OH. 580 00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:58,597 THAT WAS HIM! HE DID THAT. 581 00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:05,704 IT DOES FEEL DIFFERENT WITHOUT HER HERE. 582 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,307 YEP. 583 00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,976 PRETTY QUIET WITHOUT LUKE HERE, TOO. 584 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,344 DID HE SAY WHAT TIME HE'S COMING HOME? 585 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:14,180 SOON, I'M SURE. OH, HE LEFT YOU SOMETHING. 586 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:20,118 "THANKS FOR LETTING ME SEE THAT CRAZY HOUSE TODAY. 587 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:23,855 FEEL LIKE BUILDING ONE OURSELVES TOMORROW?" 588 00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,958 WHAT? 589 00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:28,694 HE WENT BACK FOR THE DUCK EGGS. 590 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,696 WE FOUND THESE EGGS OUT IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE. 591 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,097 YEAH, HONEY. I-I-I GOT IT. I GOT IT. 592 00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,132 I KNOW THE TWO OF YOU WELL ENOUGH. 593 00:20:33,164 --> 00:20:34,767 I CAN CONNECT THE DOTS. 594 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,635 BUT YOU JUST REALLY HELPED ME OUT. 595 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,305 WHO ARE YOU -- [ STAMMERS ] 596 00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:39,506 ALEX: Again, mom? 597 00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:41,140 ALEX, I KNOW YOU SAID NOT TO CALL 598 00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:43,776 UNLESS IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT, BUT THIS IS. 599 00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:47,447 I NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING YOU CAN TELL ME ABOUT BABY DUCKS. 600 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,482 ** 601 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,057 OW, THAT STINGS! THIS IS SO NOT SEXY. 602 00:20:58,089 --> 00:21:00,359 OKAY, SO WE ALL AGREE. 603 00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:03,529 EVERYBODY GETS A FREE PASS ONCE A YEAR TO MISS A KID EVENT. 604 00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,263 OOH, I HEARD LUKE MIGHT BE FORMING A BOY BAND, 605 00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:06,432 SO I WANT TO GET OUT IN FRONT OF THAT. 606 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,267 GREAT! THAT MEANS YOU'LL BE AVAILABLE 607 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:09,969 FOR MY ONE-MAN QUICK-CHANGE VERSION 608 00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:11,637 OF "SEVEN BRIDES FOR SEVEN BROTHERS." 609 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:12,771 I'M GONNA CHANGE MY VOTE. 610 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:13,940 YEAH, PUT ME DOWN FOR MISSING THAT, TOO. 611 00:21:13,972 --> 00:21:15,173 NO, BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 612 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:16,875 I-I PLAY ALL THE BRIDES AND ALL THE BROTHERS. 613 00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:18,611 MAKE IT THREE. 614 00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:20,446 BUT YOU'LL COME, RIGHT, JAY?