1
00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:04,700
WELCOME, EVERYONE.
I'M DR. DEBRA RADCLIFFE.

2
00:00:04,743 --> 00:00:07,267
AND TODAY I'M GOING TO HELP YOU
CLEAN OUT YOUR JUNK DRAWER.

3
00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:10,487
OF COURSE, I'M TALKING ABOUT
AN EMOTIONAL JUNK DRAWER

4
00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:15,189
WHERE WE STORE ALL THE PAIN,
FEAR, ANGER THAT SHAPES US.

5
00:00:15,231 --> 00:00:17,190
WHO WOULD LIKE
TO SHARE WHY THEY'RE HERE?

6
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:20,062
THIS ONE DIDN'T HAVE HER GLASSES
AT THE HIGH-SCHOOL AUCTION.

7
00:00:20,106 --> 00:00:22,109
THOUGHT SHE WAS BIDDING ON
A HOME ORGANIZER.

8
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:23,109
AND WHAT A LUCKY MISTAKE.

9
00:00:23,152 --> 00:00:25,503
IN COLOMBIA, WE NEVER GET TO DO
THINGS LIKE THIS.

10
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,635
THE ONLY TIME
THAT I EVER WENT TO A SEMINAR

11
00:00:27,678 --> 00:00:29,899
WAS HOW TO ESCAPE THE TRUNK
OF A CAR

12
00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:32,075
WHEN YOUR HANDS ARE TIED
BEHIND YOUR BACK.

13
00:00:32,118 --> 00:00:33,902
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
ON YOUR FEET.

14
00:00:33,945 --> 00:00:35,643
OKAY.
YOU KNOW,
I-I SORT OF THOUGHT

15
00:00:35,686 --> 00:00:38,689
THIS WAS A "SIT HERE AND LISTEN"
KIND OF A THING.
YEAH.

16
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:40,561
OR AS I CALL IT,
MARRIAGE.

17
00:00:40,604 --> 00:00:42,345
WHERE'S MY HUSBANDS AT?

18
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:45,305
IT'S GOOD TO LAUGH AT WHAT
MAKES US MOST UNCOMFORTABLE.

19
00:00:45,348 --> 00:00:48,134
BUT THE NEXT THREE HOURS WILL
REQUIRE ACTIVE PARTICIPATION.

20
00:00:48,177 --> 00:00:49,701
LET'S CLEAR A LITTLE SPACE
FOR OURSELVES.

21
00:00:49,744 --> 00:00:51,485
YOU SAID THIS WAS
A 45-MINUTE TALK.

22
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:52,790
SO WHAT?
I WAS WRONG.

23
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,792
WHAT, IS THERE A PLACE
THAT YOU'D RATHER BE

24
00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:56,490
THAN CONNECTING
WITH YOUR FAMILY?

25
00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:59,320
YOU'RE REALLY ASKING THIS
QUESTION ON FOOTBALL SUNDAY?

26
00:00:59,362 --> 00:01:02,235
ALL THESE MEN HERE GAVE UP
THEIR FOOTBALL TODAY.

27
00:01:02,278 --> 00:01:03,801
THANK YOU, MITCHELL,
FOR YOUR SACRIFICE.

28
00:01:03,846 --> 00:01:05,804
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M MISSING
A FARMER'S MARKET TO BE HERE,

29
00:01:05,847 --> 00:01:08,155
SO...YEAH,
I JUST MADE IT GAYER.

30
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:09,373
IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL

31
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:12,245
TO RESIST OPENING
YOUR EMOTIONAL JUNK DRAWER.MM.

32
00:01:12,289 --> 00:01:15,465
I ADDRESS THAT IN CHAPTER ONE --
"HEY, GET A HANDLE ON IT".

33
00:01:15,510 --> 00:01:18,251
WHY DON'T WE START WITH A FUN
ACTIVITY TO LOOSEN EVERYONE UP?

34
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,731
I DON'T CARE HOW LOOSE WE GET,
I'M NOT SPILLING MY GUTS

35
00:01:20,775 --> 00:01:22,734
TO SOME TABLE LAMP
PRETENDING IT'S MY MOTHER.

36
00:01:22,777 --> 00:01:24,257
AND I WON'T ASK YOU TO, JAY.

37
00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:27,347
THAT KIND OF SILLINESS
GIVES THERAPY A BAD NAME.

38
00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:30,915
WE ARE GOING TO PLAY A GAME
CALLED TIGER, ROCK STAR, BUNNY.

39
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:31,960
I GOT THIS.

40
00:01:32,003 --> 00:01:33,353
UH, MARRY THE TIGER,
KILL THE BUNNY --

41
00:01:33,396 --> 00:01:34,397
MNH-MNH.
THAT'S NOT MY GAME.

42
00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:36,139
WHEN I CALL OUT TIGER,

43
00:01:36,182 --> 00:01:39,272
YOU WILL [GROWLS]
BECOME A FEROCIOUS TIGER.

44
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:41,013
WHEN I CALL OUT ROCK STAR,

45
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:43,929
YOU WILL BE...
[British accent] A MAJOR ROCKER.

46
00:01:43,972 --> 00:01:46,018
[ Normal voice ] AND WHEN I CALL
OUT BUNNY, YOU WILL BE --

47
00:01:46,061 --> 00:01:47,411
HALFWAY HOME.
GOODBYE.

48
00:01:47,454 --> 00:01:49,239
OH, YEAH, GO AHEAD,
BUT DON'T FORGET

49
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,545
THAT WE DON'T HAVE
A PRENUP.

50
00:01:50,587 --> 00:01:51,414
LET'S GET STARTED.

51
00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:52,155
TIGER!

52
00:01:52,198 --> 00:01:53,373
[ ALL MEOW ]

53
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:54,504
[ GROANING, GROWLING ]

54
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:57,246
FEEL RIDICULOUS.
I MIGHT NEED BOOZE FOR THIS.

55
00:01:57,290 --> 00:01:58,335
OH, ME LIKEY
THAT IDEA.

56
00:01:58,378 --> 00:02:00,075
WE ARE NOT CUT OUT
FOR THIS.

57
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,730
YOU CAN'T COMPARE YOURSELF
TO ME.

58
00:02:01,772 --> 00:02:03,384
I WAS IN "CATS".
[ YOWLS ]

59
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,254
NO ONE'S COMPARING THEMSELVES
TO YOU, CAM.

60
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:05,864
ROCK STAR.

61
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,649
[ IMITATING GUITARS ]

62
00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:08,824
LOOKING GOOD, PHIL.

63
00:02:08,866 --> 00:02:10,521
I WON AN AIR-GUITAR CONTEST
IN HIGH SCHOOL.

64
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,393
BET THAT GOT YOU
A LOT OF AIR GIRLFRIENDS.

65
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:17,180
COME ON, JAY.
LOOSEN UP. IT'S FUN.

66
00:02:17,223 --> 00:02:18,659
WHAT THE HELL
IS THAT, DAD?

67
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:19,877
PLAYING AN ACCORDION.

68
00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:21,097
SUPPOSED TO BE
A ROCK STAR.

69
00:02:21,140 --> 00:02:22,228
I THINK YOU SHOULD DO, LIKE,
A GUITAR OR SOMETHING.

70
00:02:22,271 --> 00:02:24,230
I ONLY KNOW
HOW TO PLAY THE ACCORDION.

71
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:25,667
PICK ON MITCHELL.
HE'S PLAYING A FLUTE.

72
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:26,972
AT LEAST
I HOPE HE IS.

73
00:02:27,015 --> 00:02:29,974
--Captions by VITAC--

74
00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:32,978
Captioning Provided by
20th Century Fox Television
and ABC, Inc.

75
00:02:33,021 --> 00:02:36,025
and brought to you by Ford.
We go further, so you can.

76
00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:39,246
♪♪

77
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:43,554
SO, WHY DID THEY NEED YOU
OUT OF THE HOUSE?

78
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:44,990
THEY SAID IT WAS
SOME SORT OF THERAPY,

79
00:02:45,033 --> 00:02:47,079
BUT PART OF ME THINKS
IT'S AN INTERVENTION FOR MOM.

80
00:02:47,122 --> 00:02:48,341
SO, HOW'S SCHOOL?

81
00:02:48,384 --> 00:02:50,212
WELL, IN MY
NEWTONIAN MECHANICS CLASS,

82
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,780
WE'RE LEARNING
HOW TO CALCULATE

83
00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:53,608
THE VELOCITY OF FREE FALLING
OBJECTS IN A...

84
00:02:55,391 --> 00:02:56,479
SCHOOL'S HARD.

85
00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:59,265
SO, ANYWAYS, UM...

86
00:02:59,308 --> 00:03:01,354
I SORT OF DID SOMETHING
AND I NEED YOUR ADVICE,

87
00:03:01,397 --> 00:03:05,359
BUT I DON'T WANT A LOT
OF JUDGMENT AND CRITICISM.AND YOU CAME TO ME?

88
00:03:05,401 --> 00:03:08,840
YEAH, YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD
SUCH A STRONG SENSE OF
WHAT'S RIGHT AND WRONG.

89
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,799
YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHAT --I HAVE A HIGH-SCHOOL
BOY TOY.

90
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,235
WHAT?! WHO?

91
00:03:12,278 --> 00:03:13,889
IT'S LUKE'S DORKY FRIEND
REUBEN.

92
00:03:13,931 --> 00:03:16,021
UGH.
I FEEL SO ASHAMED.

93
00:03:16,064 --> 00:03:18,110
OH, MY GOD. YOU SHOULD BE.
ISN'T HE, LIKE, 8?

94
00:03:18,153 --> 00:03:20,025
NO, HE'S 16 AND 3/4,

95
00:03:20,068 --> 00:03:21,375
AND HE HAS TO SHAVE
ALMOST EVERY TWO WEEKS.

96
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,377
HOW DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?
YOU GO TO CALTECH.

97
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:25,292
YOU'RE SURROUNDED
BY AGE-APPROPRIATE DORKS.

98
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:28,643
I KNOW, BUT I WAS HOME
AND STILL FEELING SAD

99
00:03:28,686 --> 00:03:30,296
ABOUT SANJAY BREAKING UP
WITH ME,

100
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,602
AND IT'S OVERWHELMING HERE.

101
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:33,516
THERE ARE
SO MANY BRILLIANT PEOPLE,

102
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:36,259
AND...REUBEN IDOLIZES ME.

103
00:03:36,302 --> 00:03:37,913
I GUESS
I JUST KIND OF NEEDED THAT,

104
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:40,349
SO I LET HIM KISS ME...
OH.

105
00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:41,656
...AND A LITTLE BIT OF THIS.

106
00:03:42,438 --> 00:03:45,268
I'M SO WEAK.
I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYTHING WORSE.

107
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:46,400
I HOOKED UP WITH ANDY.

108
00:03:46,442 --> 00:03:47,401
WHAT?!
MM-HMM.

109
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,402
ENGAGED ANDY?
I KNOW.

110
00:03:49,445 --> 00:03:50,403
WE WERE ALL ALONE
AT THIS HOUSE

111
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:52,100
THAT DAD HAD SET UP
TO BE SEXY --

112
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:53,406
DAD MADE IT SEXY
FOR YOU?!

113
00:03:53,449 --> 00:03:56,844
NO, NO, FOR THE BUYER,
BUT ANDY AND I WERE ALONE,

114
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,543
A-AND SUDDENLY...BAM.

115
00:03:59,586 --> 00:04:00,717
BAM?
MM-HMM.

116
00:04:00,762 --> 00:04:02,153
"BAM" AS IN SEX

117
00:04:02,198 --> 00:04:04,330
OR "BAM" AS IN WHAT REUBEN
SHOUTED WHEN HE UNHOOKED MY BRA?

118
00:04:04,373 --> 00:04:06,419
LET'S JUST LEAVE IT
AT "BAM."

119
00:04:06,462 --> 00:04:08,421
LOOK AT US.

120
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:10,685
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT TO FEEL RIGHT NOW.

121
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:13,905
SHAME, GUILT, FEAR.

122
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,864
THESE ARE JUST
SOME OF THE THINGS

123
00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:19,302
WE SHOVED IN THE BACK OF OUR
JUNK DRAWERS WHEN WE WERE YOUNG.

124
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,564
THIS EXERCISE
COMES FROM CHAPTER THREE --

125
00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:24,088
"SCARY DREAMS,
EXPIRED CREAMS".

126
00:04:24,132 --> 00:04:26,091
OH, I HAVE
BOTH OF THOSE.

127
00:04:26,134 --> 00:04:28,398
THIS MAY SEEM
UNCONVENTIONAL,

128
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:30,661
BUT IT HELPS ACCESS
PAINFUL MEMORIES...

129
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,358
THIS IS NICE....WHILE ALLOWING
YOUR PARTNER

130
00:04:32,401 --> 00:04:34,534
TO SEE THE VULNERABLE CHILD
YOU ONCE WERE.NO, IT'S NOT.
IT'S WEIRD.

131
00:04:34,577 --> 00:04:36,319
YOU'RE SO TENSE TODAY,
MY LITTLE BABY.

132
00:04:36,362 --> 00:04:38,103
WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED
ABOUT?

133
00:04:38,146 --> 00:04:39,930
US LOOKING LIKE IDIOTS.

134
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:42,456
WHAT?
WE'RE SUPERSTARS HERE.

135
00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:44,675
MARRIED THE LONGEST,
THREE HAPPY CHILDREN,

136
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,372
ONE WITH
A BRIGHT FUTURE.

137
00:04:46,415 --> 00:04:48,591
[ CHUCKLES ]
YOU'RE RIGHT.

138
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,550
WE'RE GONNA WIN
THIS THING.

139
00:04:50,593 --> 00:04:51,682
IT'S NOT
A COMPETITION.

140
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,336
EXACTLY.
WE HAVE THIS IN THE BAG.

141
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:55,598
MITCHELL AND CAM
FALL APART

142
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:56,904
IF THEY'VE GOT TO PICK
A RESTAURANT,

143
00:04:56,947 --> 00:04:59,428
AND ALL GLORIA EVER DOES
IS YELL AT MY DAD.

144
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:01,343
SHH.

145
00:05:01,387 --> 00:05:04,129
YEAH, I'D REALLY HATE
TO BE YOUR DAD RIGHT NOW.

146
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:07,132
NOW, TELL ME EVERYTHING
THAT YOU'RE THINKING.

147
00:05:07,175 --> 00:05:09,483
I'M THINKING ABOUT ALL THAT
OTHER STUFF WE COULD'VE BID ON

148
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,136
AT THAT AUCTION
INSTEAD OF THIS NONSENSE.

149
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:14,574
LUNCH WITH LARRY KING.
A RIDE ALONG IN A COP CAR.

150
00:05:14,617 --> 00:05:16,011
I HEARD THEY LET YOU TASE
SOMEONE.

151
00:05:16,053 --> 00:05:17,577
JAY, THIS IS IMPORTANT.

152
00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:19,797
DR. DEBRA SAID
THAT THIS IS GOOD FOR US.

153
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:20,841
NOW CLOSE YOUR EYES.

154
00:05:20,884 --> 00:05:22,365
WHY SHOULD I CLOSE
MY EYES?

155
00:05:22,408 --> 00:05:24,932
BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU LOOKING
UP AT MY NECK LIKE THAT.

156
00:05:24,975 --> 00:05:27,283
THE OTHER DAY,
I TOOK A SELFIE FROM DOWN THERE

157
00:05:27,326 --> 00:05:29,850
AND I THOUGHT THAT I WAS FACE
TIMING WITH MY GRANDMOTHER.

158
00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:32,201
I WEMEMBER MY MOM
WENT INTO THE STORE

159
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:34,507
AND LEFT ME ALL ALONE
IN THE BACK OF A TWUCK.

160
00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:35,944
OKAY, DO YOU HAVE TO DO
THE BABY TALK?

161
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,728
I COULDN'T PRONOUNCE
MY R's WHEN I WAS YOUNGER

162
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,555
AND THE OTHER CHILDREN
MADE FUN OF ME, MITCHELL.OKAY.

163
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,384
IT WAS VERY TWAUMATIC.

164
00:05:41,427 --> 00:05:43,386
MOM? MOMMY?
WHERE ARE YOU?

165
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,170
ALL RIGHT, I'M --
I'M STARTING TO LOSE FEELING.

166
00:05:45,213 --> 00:05:46,215
OH, AM I SQUISHING
YOUR LEGS?

167
00:05:46,257 --> 00:05:47,521
NO, I MEANT
IN OUR RELATIONSHIP.

168
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:49,740
ALL RIGHT,
WE NEED A GAME PLAN HERE.

169
00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,002
MY DAD AND SISTER
ARE HERE.

170
00:05:51,045 --> 00:05:53,177
LET'S KEEP A LOW PROFILE --
LIGHT AND SURFACY.

171
00:05:53,221 --> 00:05:54,745
BUT AREN'T WE WASTING
A GREAT OPPORTUNITY

172
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:55,877
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ME?

173
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,792
WE ARE NOT GONNA BE
THE SIDESHOW GAY COUPLE.

174
00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:59,096
OKAY,
NOTHING TOO PERSONAL.

175
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,576
FOR GOD'S SAKE,
NO BEDROOM STUFF.

176
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:02,274
WE'RE REPRESENTING
A COMMUNITY.

177
00:06:02,317 --> 00:06:03,971
AND HOW ARE YOU TWO
DOING HERE?

178
00:06:04,014 --> 00:06:05,408
WE'RE VERY GOOD,
VERY HEALTHY.

179
00:06:05,451 --> 00:06:06,583
VERY HAPPY.
YES.

180
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,454
CAM, WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SWITCH POSITIONS?

181
00:06:08,497 --> 00:06:12,197
I'M NOT ALLOWED
TO TALK ABOUT THAT.

182
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,112
HOW'S IT GOING HERE
WITH YOU TWO?

183
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:16,201
NOT GOOD.
HE'S NOT EVEN TRYING.

184
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:17,637
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE STUCK
IN THAT DRAWER.

185
00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,422
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE STUCK
IN THAT METAPHOR.

186
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:20,423
WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK,
JAY?

187
00:06:20,466 --> 00:06:22,120
I DON'T LIKE
TO BE HELD LIKE THIS.

188
00:06:22,163 --> 00:06:23,774
WHY?
'CAUSE YOU FEEL VULNERABLE?

189
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,297
I DON'T KNOW.

190
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,822
IT JUST...
REMINDS ME OF SOMETHING.

191
00:06:28,865 --> 00:06:30,476
GO WITH THAT.
YOU'RE SAFE HERE.

192
00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:32,303
I DON'T WANT
TO BE SAFE HERE.

193
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:33,697
I DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

194
00:06:33,740 --> 00:06:35,481
ABOUT WHAT?
TELL ME.

195
00:06:35,524 --> 00:06:38,223
IT'S LIKE THE TIME
MY MOM HELD ME LIKE THIS

196
00:06:38,266 --> 00:06:40,137
WHEN MY DOG RAN AWAY
AND NEVER CAME BACK.

197
00:06:40,182 --> 00:06:41,792
SHE KEPT TELLING ME
THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW IT GOT OUT,

198
00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,706
BUT I KNEW.

199
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:46,579
I LEFT THE GATE OPEN.
IT WAS MY FAULT.

200
00:06:46,622 --> 00:06:48,103
I LOST CHECKERS.
AY!

201
00:06:50,713 --> 00:06:52,802
I CAN'T TAKE THIS.

202
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,891
WAIT, WHAT --
WHAT JUST HAPPENED?I DON'T KNOW.

203
00:06:54,935 --> 00:06:57,286
I THINK HE'S NOT USED
TO FEELING EMOTIONS.

204
00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:58,461
MAYBE IT WAS
TOO MUCH FOR HIM.

205
00:06:58,504 --> 00:06:59,593
NO, NO, THIS IS GOOD.

206
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,725
SOME PEOPLE'S JUNK DRAWERS
ARE SO FULL,

207
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,031
IT'S A STRUGGLE
TO OPEN THEM.

208
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:05,033
W-WAS HE HOLDING
HIS CHEST?

209
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:07,557
Sí!SOMETHING SEEMED WONG.

210
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:11,081
JAY, ARE YOU OKAY?
IT'S GLORIA.

211
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:13,170
DAD. DAD, COME ON.

212
00:07:13,214 --> 00:07:14,911
AY, IT'S LOCKED.

213
00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:15,738
D-DAD, OPEN UP.

214
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,524
HANG ON,
I GOT A PAPERCLIP.

215
00:07:17,567 --> 00:07:19,264
BE CAREFUL.
HE'S VERY RAW.

216
00:07:19,307 --> 00:07:21,701
GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!

217
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:24,834
JAY!HUH? OH.

218
00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,533
I'M STILL SAD.

219
00:07:31,798 --> 00:07:33,408
YOU PREFER
TO HIDE IN THE BATHROOM

220
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:34,715
THAN TO DEAL
WITH YOUR EMOTIONS!

221
00:07:34,757 --> 00:07:36,064
GLORIA,
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

222
00:07:36,106 --> 00:07:39,545
THE BIG DEAL IS THAT
WE'RE RAISING A CHILD TOGETHER,

223
00:07:39,588 --> 00:07:40,850
AND YOU HAVE A CHANCE

224
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,071
TO MAKE HIM DIFFERENT
THAN THOSE TWO.

225
00:07:43,113 --> 00:07:44,288
HELLO.
US?

226
00:07:44,332 --> 00:07:45,769
I'M SORRY.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH US?

227
00:07:45,812 --> 00:07:46,856
I'D TAKE A BULLET
FOR YOU,

228
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:48,598
BUT YOU TWO
ARE KIND OF NEUROTIC.

229
00:07:48,641 --> 00:07:49,947
WE'RE NOT NEUROTIC.DO PEOPLE SAY
THAT WE'RE NEUROTIC?

230
00:07:49,990 --> 00:07:50,860
THEY DON'T SAY THAT,
DO THEY?

231
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,733
YES. YES.

232
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,735
ALL THE JUNK WANTS
TO COME OUT OF THE DRAWER.

233
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:55,997
CAN YOU FEEL IT?I can.

234
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,389
NO, JAY DOESN'T FEEL
ANYTHING.

235
00:07:57,432 --> 00:07:58,302
I FEEL LOTS OF THINGS.

236
00:07:58,346 --> 00:07:59,870
ANNOYED THAT
I'M MISSING MY GAME,

237
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,177
JOY THAT THE STEELERS
ARE WINNING.OH, WHAT IS THE SCORE?

238
00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,656
WE'RE NOT GONNA TALK
ABOUT FOOTBALL HERE!

239
00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:04,571
GLORIA'S RIGHT.

240
00:08:04,613 --> 00:08:05,745
WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT
DEEPER THINGS

241
00:08:05,788 --> 00:08:08,096
LIKE THOSE AWKWARD YEARS
BETWEEN 14 TO 6.

242
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,314
Oh. Yes.

243
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:10,880
WHEN DO WE GET TO TALK ABOUT
THE DUMB THINGS

244
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,143
THAT OUR HUSBANDS DO?

245
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:14,144
GLORIA, THANK YOU.
I'M GLAD YOU SAID THAT.

246
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,582
YOU'RE WELCOME.
AT LEAST SOMEBODY'S HELPING.

247
00:08:16,625 --> 00:08:19,324
BECAUSE THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE
IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.

248
00:08:19,367 --> 00:08:21,021
OH, SNAP.
[ SNAPS FINGERS ]

249
00:08:21,064 --> 00:08:24,329
THIS NEXT EXERCISE WILL TEACH US
HOW TO COMMUNICATE OUR NEEDS

250
00:08:24,372 --> 00:08:26,983
IN A CONSTRUCTIVE
AND NON-THREATENING MANNER.

251
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:28,463
WE DO THAT
ALL THE TIME.

252
00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:30,204
VERY CONSTRUCTIVELY
COMMUNICATED.

253
00:08:30,247 --> 00:08:32,206
WOULD ONE OF MY COUPLES
LIKE TO HELP ME DEMONSTRATE

254
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,250
FOR THE REST OF THE GROUP?

255
00:08:33,294 --> 00:08:34,817
YES, WE WOULD.
WE'D LOVE TO HELP.

256
00:08:34,861 --> 00:08:36,907
HOW IS THIS LOW PROFILE?OH, COME ON, IT'LL FUN.

257
00:08:36,951 --> 00:08:38,212
YOUR CHAIR, PLEASE, CAM.SURE.

258
00:08:38,255 --> 00:08:40,171
FACE THIS WAY.
THANK YOU.

259
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:43,610
NOW, I'D LIKE YOU BOTH
TO THINK OF A BEHAVIOR

260
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,828
OF YOUR PARTNER'S
THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE.

261
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:47,701
BUT WE'RE GOING TO AVOID
PHRASES

262
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,702
LIKE "YOU ALWAYS"
AND "YOU NEVER",

263
00:08:49,745 --> 00:08:52,793
AND INSTEAD PUT IT IN TERMS OF
HOW WE FEEL.
OKAY.

264
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:53,923
MITCH, YOU'LL START.

265
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,273
OKAY.

266
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:58,014
SOMETIMES, I WISH YOU
WOULDN'T WEAR BLUE SO MUCH

267
00:08:58,058 --> 00:09:01,845
BECAUSE I FEEL JEALOUS
THAT YOU LOOK SO GOOD IN IT.

268
00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:04,586
NOW, CAM, LET MITCH KNOW
IF YOU HEARD HIM

269
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:06,153
AND IF YOU FEEL
YOU CAN DO THAT.

270
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:08,243
I DID HEAR THAT.

271
00:09:08,285 --> 00:09:09,244
OKAY.

272
00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:10,854
AND I WILL TRY
TO WEAR LESS BLUE.

273
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,639
VERY GOOD. VERY GOOD.
[ CLAPS ]

274
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,640
MAYBE DIG A LITTLE DEEPER
IN THE DRAWER.

275
00:09:14,683 --> 00:09:18,644
WELL, SOMETIMES WHEN YOU DON'T
USE A COASTER WITH A -- A DRINK,

276
00:09:18,687 --> 00:09:20,821
I GET ANXIOUS BECAUSE
I LOVE OUR FURNITURE

277
00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:21,865
AND WE BOUGHT IT
TOGETHER.

278
00:09:21,908 --> 00:09:25,389
AWW, THAT'S VERY SWEET.
I HEAR THAT.

279
00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:26,740
AND I'M GONNA TRY
AND USE A COASTER MORE.

280
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:27,610
OKAY.EXCELLENT, BOTH OF YOU.

281
00:09:27,653 --> 00:09:29,786
MITCH, KEEP GOING.

282
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:32,484
YEAH, SO, UH...SOMETIMES
WHEN YOU LEAVE THE ROOM

283
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:34,835
AND YOU DON'T TURN OFF
THE LIGHTS, I JUST FEEL --

284
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,096
SERIOUSLY?
THAT AGAIN?

285
00:09:36,139 --> 00:09:37,402
SURFACY.

286
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:38,751
WELL, I TOLD YOU NOT TO HARP
ON ME ABOUT THE LIGHTS.

287
00:09:38,794 --> 00:09:39,621
OH, BECAUSE THIS IS
THE FIRST

288
00:09:39,665 --> 00:09:41,014
THAT I'M HEARING
ABOUT THE COASTERS.

289
00:09:41,057 --> 00:09:42,625
HERE WE GO.

290
00:09:42,668 --> 00:09:43,974
OKAY, I DON'T APPRECIATE
THE SMIRKING.

291
00:09:44,018 --> 00:09:45,235
I HEAR YOU, MITCHELL,

292
00:09:45,279 --> 00:09:48,500
AND I WILL TRY TO SMIRK
WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING.

293
00:09:50,850 --> 00:09:53,635
I FEEL LIKE IF ANDY WEREN'T
ENGAGED, WE'D HAVE A CHANCE.

294
00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:55,419
AND IF REUBEN WERE
JUST A LITTLE BIT OLDER

295
00:09:55,463 --> 00:09:57,030
AND DIDN'T WEAR
PRESCRIPTION SHOES --

296
00:09:57,073 --> 00:09:58,772
IT'D STILL BE GROSS.
I KNOW.

297
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:00,469
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?WE SHOULD BOTH JUST END IT.

298
00:10:00,511 --> 00:10:02,210
I AM NOT KILLING MYSELF.

299
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,907
NO!
BREAK UP WITH THEM.

300
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,778
OH, GOD.

301
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:08,912
YOU DESERVE SOMEBODY THAT
ISN'T ENGAGED TO SOMEBODY ELSE.

302
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,566
YEAH, AND YOU DESERVE
TO BE WITH SOMEONE

303
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,697
WHO DIDN'T TAKE BATHS
WITH LUKE.

304
00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:13,221
I ALREADY TRIED
TO DUMP HIM ONCE.

305
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:14,918
HOPEFULLY IT'LL GO BETTER
THIS TIME.

306
00:10:14,961 --> 00:10:16,789
LOOK, I'M SICK
OF HIDING OUR LOVE.

307
00:10:16,832 --> 00:10:19,009
IF YOU'RE ASHAMED
OF ME --
I AM.

308
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,923
THEN MAYBE
WE SHOULD BREAK UP.WE SHOULD.

309
00:10:20,967 --> 00:10:22,143
NO, PLEASE DON'T BREAK UP
WITH ME.

310
00:10:22,186 --> 00:10:23,927
YOU'RE THE --
THE SMARTEST,

311
00:10:23,971 --> 00:10:25,928
MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL
ON THE PLANET.

312
00:10:25,972 --> 00:10:28,105
[ SIGHS ] FINE.

313
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,366
I'M GONNA TEXT ANDY
RIGHT NOW

314
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:30,890
AND TELL HIM
WE NEED TO TALK TODAY,

315
00:10:30,933 --> 00:10:31,586
AND YOU SHOULD, TOO.

316
00:10:31,630 --> 00:10:32,500
I CAN'T TEXT HIM.

317
00:10:32,543 --> 00:10:33,676
HE LOST
HIS PHONE PRIVILEGES

318
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,024
UNTIL HE GETS HIS SPANISH GRADE
BACK UP,

319
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,158
BUT I'LL JUST GO HANG
AROUND THE PLAYGROUND

320
00:10:37,201 --> 00:10:38,899
TILL HIS KICKBALL PRACTICE
IS OVER.

321
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,682
I'M GLAD WE TALKED.

322
00:10:40,726 --> 00:10:42,250
ME TOO.

323
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:43,511
THIS IS HOW WE'RE GONNA STAY
ON TRACK

324
00:10:43,554 --> 00:10:44,687
FOR THE REST
OF OUR LIVES --

325
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:46,123
BY ALWAYS BEING THERE
FOR EACH OTHER.

326
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:48,951
HE PLAYS KICKBALL?

327
00:10:48,995 --> 00:10:51,040
EQUIPMENT MANAGER.

328
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:53,696
NOW THAT WE'RE LEARNING
TO COMMUNICATE CONSTRUCTIVELY,

329
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,915
LET'S PUT THOSE NEW SKILLS
TO USE.

330
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:56,830
THANK YOU.

331
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,701
I WANT EVERYONE
TO WRITE DOWN

332
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,835
EVERYTHING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER
THAT DRIVES YOU CRAZY.

333
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:02,836
REALLY?

334
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,272
THE DRAWERS ARE OPEN.
DIG IN.

335
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,056
SOUNDS A LITTLE MARRIAGE-ENDY,
DOESN'T IT?

336
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:08,711
I MEAN, IT DOES,
BUT NOT FOR US.

337
00:11:08,754 --> 00:11:10,278
MAYBE...

338
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:11,888
OH, HUH, INTERESTING.

339
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,368
[ SCOFFS ]

340
00:11:13,410 --> 00:11:15,152
PHIL, THERE'S NOTHING
THAT BUGS YOU ABOUT CLAIRE?

341
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:15,849
NOPE.

342
00:11:15,892 --> 00:11:17,720
NOT EVEN "ME LIKEY"?

343
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,068
WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT?I HAVE NO IDEA.

344
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:20,854
HE SAYS YOU SAY IT A LOT
AND IT DRIVES HIM CRAZY.

345
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,202
PHIL.

346
00:11:22,245 --> 00:11:24,596
OKAY, UH, CLAIRE.
YEAH.

347
00:11:24,639 --> 00:11:25,946
I LOVE YOU.
I KNOW.

348
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:27,424
BUT WHEN YOU USE
THAT EXPRESSION,

349
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:31,559
IT MAKES ME FEEL,
UM...ICKY.

350
00:11:31,602 --> 00:11:34,780
BUT, I MEAN, I'VE HARDLY
EVER EVEN USED THE EXPRESSION --

351
00:11:34,823 --> 00:11:36,739
ME LIKEY SUSHI,
ME LIKEY "GAME OF THRONES",

352
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,219
ME LIKEY CHARDONNAY.

353
00:11:38,261 --> 00:11:40,787
IT DOES HIT MY EAR WRONG.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT.

354
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:43,224
I'M SORRY.
I GOT NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT.

355
00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:44,834
ME LUCKY.
MNH-MNH.

356
00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:46,966
PHIL, NEVER APOLOGIZE
FOR YOUR FEELINGS.

357
00:11:47,009 --> 00:11:50,013
I THOUGHT WE'RE NOT
SUPPOSED TO SAY "NEVER".

358
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:52,101
GOOD CATCH, JAY.
THANK YOU.

359
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:55,235
AS THE KIDS SAY, IT'S
GOING TO GET REAL UP IN HERE,

360
00:11:55,278 --> 00:11:56,932
BUT TRUST ME, AFTER THAT,

361
00:11:56,976 --> 00:12:00,850
ONCE I'VE GUIDED YOU THROUGH
THE EXTREMELY SPECIFIC STEPS

362
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:02,982
IN DECIDING
WHAT GOES BACK IN THE DRAWER

363
00:12:03,025 --> 00:12:04,811
AND WHAT GETS THROWN OUT,

364
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:07,335
YOU WILL BE THE BEST VERSION
OF YOURSELVES.

365
00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:09,553
IT ALWAYS WORKS.DON'T SAY "ALWAYS".

366
00:12:09,597 --> 00:12:10,467
THANK YOU.

367
00:12:10,511 --> 00:12:11,817
LET'S GET WRITING.
[ CLAPPING ]

368
00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:14,341
[ CELLPHONE VIBRATES ]NOTHING IS OFF-LIMITS.

369
00:12:14,384 --> 00:12:17,911
THESE ARE YOUR PRIVATE THOUGHTS,
AND YOU ARE ENTITLED TO THEM.

370
00:12:17,953 --> 00:12:19,826
EXCUSE ME.

371
00:12:20,826 --> 00:12:21,957
YOU THINK I'M TOO LOUD?

372
00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:23,350
SHH!
SHH!

373
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:24,438
HOW AM I LOUD?

374
00:12:24,481 --> 00:12:26,048
WELL, YOU TAKE IN
TOO MUCH AIR

375
00:12:26,092 --> 00:12:28,485
AND YOU EXPEL THAT AIR
WITH LARGE AND SUDDEN BURSTS.

376
00:12:28,529 --> 00:12:29,705
THAT'S HOW.

377
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,053
OH, SO YOU'RE SAYING
THAT I AM FULL OF HOT AIR?

378
00:12:31,097 --> 00:12:32,663
NO, I'M SAYING
JUST THE OPPOSITE.

379
00:12:32,707 --> 00:12:34,884
NONE OF THE AIR STAYS
IN YOU.
HMM.

380
00:12:34,927 --> 00:12:37,668
THE LIGHTS AGAIN.
NOW YOU'VE WRITTEN IT DOWN?

381
00:12:37,712 --> 00:12:39,802
I'M TRYING TO STICK
TO THE SMALL STUFF.

382
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:40,976
OH, WELL,
CONGRATULATIONS.

383
00:12:41,020 --> 00:12:42,804
YOU NAILED IT,
BECAUSE THAT'S REAL SMALL.

384
00:12:42,849 --> 00:12:44,067
IT -- OKAY, IT BOTHERS ME,
ALL RIGHT?

385
00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:47,375
I-I'VE ASKED YOU VERY NICELY
TO TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

386
00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:48,592
CONSTANTLY.

387
00:12:48,636 --> 00:12:50,421
IT'S LIKE WE'RE LONDONERS
HIDING FROM WAR PLANES.

388
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:52,162
WHY DID YOU WRITE DOWN
"TEEPEE JOKE"?

389
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,033
DEBRA SAID THESE ARE MY PERSONAL
AND PRIVATE THOUGHTS.

390
00:12:54,076 --> 00:12:55,251
I LOVE THAT JOKE.
I TELL IT ALL THE TIME.

391
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:57,601
IT'S FUNNY.
TO YOU.

392
00:12:57,645 --> 00:12:59,952
OKAY.
LISTEN UP, GUYS.

393
00:12:59,995 --> 00:13:01,998
THIS GUY WALKS INTO
HIS SHRINK'S OFFICE AND HE SAYS,

394
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:05,436
"DOC, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
I'M A TEEPEE. I'M A WIGWAM."

395
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,394
[ Chuckling ]
AND THE DOC SAYS,

396
00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:10,092
"THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.
YOU'RE TWO TENTS."

397
00:13:10,136 --> 00:13:11,746
DO YOU GET IT?
TWO TENTS. [ LAUGHS ]

398
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,532
THAT'S BAD, CLAIRE.
THAT'S REALLY BAD.

399
00:13:14,576 --> 00:13:15,969
YOU MADE HER
LIKE THAT.

400
00:13:16,011 --> 00:13:17,840
IF YOU LET HER
FEEL THINGS,

401
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,537
MAYBE SHE'LL KNOW
WHAT IS FUNNY.

402
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:20,974
DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU PEOPLE THINK.

403
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:21,975
ME LIKEY.

404
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:22,845
MM.

405
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:24,542
WHAT IS WRONG
WITH "ME LIKEY"?

406
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:25,500
CLAIRE...
YES.

407
00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:27,457
...I LOVE YOU.OH, THEN STOP SAYING IT!

408
00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:30,070
IT JUST SEEMS
A LITTLE CHILDISH.
REALLY?

409
00:13:30,113 --> 00:13:32,768
'CAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO CAN'T STOP PLAYING
WITH HIS POGO STICK.

410
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:33,855
YOU KNOW WHAT?
MM-HMM?

411
00:13:33,899 --> 00:13:35,249
MAYBE YOU'D BE HAPPIER

412
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:38,294
IF YOU PLAYED WITH MY POGO STICK
ONCE IN A WHILE.
OH, MY GOD!

413
00:13:38,338 --> 00:13:40,688
WHAT'S SAD IS THEY'RE ACTUALLY
TALKING ABOUT A POGO STICK.

414
00:13:40,731 --> 00:13:43,256
WHAT'S SAD IS YOU LOVE
ELECTRICITY MORE THAN ME.

415
00:13:43,299 --> 00:13:45,693
IT'S LIKE WE HAVE
A DERANGED SECOND GRADER

416
00:13:45,736 --> 00:13:46,782
BOUNCING AROUND
THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

417
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,566
WHEN DID YOU GET SO OLD?!OH!

418
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:49,653
I MEAN, I LOVE YOU!

419
00:13:49,697 --> 00:13:51,004
ALL RIGHT, CAM,

420
00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,657
IT'S BEEN A PET PEEVE OF MINE
SINCE I WAS A KID,

421
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:55,922
AND I'VE ASKED YOU SO MANY TIMES
THAT WHEN YOU IGNORE ME,

422
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,359
IT FEELS
A LITTLE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE.

423
00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,534
AND WHEN YOU NAG ME
CONSTANTLY,

424
00:14:00,577 --> 00:14:03,451
IT FEELS LIKE
I'M TALKING TO MY MOTHER.

425
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:04,581
WHEN I HAVE TO NAG YOU,

426
00:14:04,625 --> 00:14:06,322
IT MAKES ME FEEL
LIKE I AMYOUR MOTHER,

427
00:14:06,366 --> 00:14:07,889
WHICH COULD BE
WHY IT'S BEEN A MONTH

428
00:14:07,933 --> 00:14:09,500
SINCE WE PLAYED WITH
EACH OTHER'S POGO STICKS.

429
00:14:09,543 --> 00:14:10,326
Jay: OH.
Gloria: AY.

430
00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:12,721
OH, MY GOD!

431
00:14:12,764 --> 00:14:14,157
HOW DO YOU THINK WE FEEL,
MITCHELL?!

432
00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:16,115
OH!

433
00:14:16,158 --> 00:14:18,118
MISS, THIS IS NOT GOING THE WAY
IT SHOULD BE.

434
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,815
WHY DON'T YOU TELL US
HOW TO FIX THIS?

435
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,163
I'M SO SORRY.
I HAVE TO GO.

436
00:14:21,207 --> 00:14:22,904
NO, NO, NO!

437
00:14:22,948 --> 00:14:24,820
YOU HAVE TO HELP US
PUT THIS BACK TOGETHER!

438
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,995
IT'S A FAMILY EMERGENCY.

439
00:14:26,038 --> 00:14:27,778
TRUST ME, IT CANNOT BE
AS BAD AS THIS ONE.

440
00:14:27,822 --> 00:14:28,519
[ WAILING ]

441
00:14:28,562 --> 00:14:30,173
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY!

442
00:14:30,216 --> 00:14:31,086
BUT I HAVE TO GO PICK UP
MY SON

443
00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:33,263
BECAUSE MY IDIOT EX-HUSBAND
LOANED HIS CAR

444
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:34,698
TO HIS LATEST TINDER WHORE.

445
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,178
WE PAID GOOD MONEY
FOR THIS.

446
00:14:36,222 --> 00:14:38,051
NO, IT WAS ONLY $84.

447
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:39,355
EXCUSE ME?

448
00:14:39,399 --> 00:14:41,793
I WOULD'VE PAID MORE,
BUT NOBODY ELSE WAS BIDDING.

449
00:14:41,836 --> 00:14:43,926
[ Voice breaking ]
THAT'S GREAT.

450
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,145
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DESERVE IT.

451
00:14:46,188 --> 00:14:49,409
THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR DUMBING
DOWN 30 YEARS OF RESEARCH

452
00:14:49,452 --> 00:14:52,934
FOR A TRITE ANALOGY
OF A JUNK DRAWER.

453
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,067
JUST BECAUSE
MY EDITOR TOLD ME

454
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:55,807
IT WOULD GET ME
ON THE "ELLEN" SHOW.

455
00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:56,807
YOU WERE ON "ELLEN"?

456
00:14:56,851 --> 00:14:58,201
OH, YEAH, YEAH.

457
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,072
I DANCED MY WAY
INTO AMERICA'S HEART,

458
00:15:00,115 --> 00:15:03,163
AND THAT'S WHY I'M STUCK HERE ON
A SUNDAY AFTERNOON FOR 80 BUCKS.

459
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:04,990
WAIT.
YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW.

460
00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:06,078
[ DOOR SLAMS ]

461
00:15:06,121 --> 00:15:07,644
ALL OUR JUNK IS OUT!

462
00:15:07,688 --> 00:15:09,125
[ WAILS ]

463
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,783
HEY.
HEY.

464
00:15:15,826 --> 00:15:17,394
THAT'S A COOL SHIRT.
YOU LOOK NICE.

465
00:15:17,437 --> 00:15:19,091
I HAVE TO CUT YOU OFF
RIGHT THERE.

466
00:15:19,134 --> 00:15:20,441
THE SHIRT STAYS ON.

467
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,529
I HAVE TO HANG UP
ON THIS BOOTY CALL.

468
00:15:22,572 --> 00:15:23,748
WAIT, WHAT?

469
00:15:23,792 --> 00:15:26,316
YOU AND ME, THIS --
THIS HAS TO STOP.

470
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,753
I'M SO RACKED WITH GUILT.

471
00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:30,538
I KEEP GIVING MONEY
TO DIFFERENT CHARITIES.

472
00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:33,671
I EVEN FRONTED A ZACH BRAFF
MOVIE ON KICKSTARTER.

473
00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,107
ANDY, SLOW DOWN.

474
00:15:35,150 --> 00:15:37,240
NO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA TALK ME
INTO IT.

475
00:15:37,283 --> 00:15:39,764
I'M EVEN WEARING EMBARRASSING
UNDERWEAR JUST IN CASE.

476
00:15:39,807 --> 00:15:41,114
OH, GOD, YOU'RE MAKING THIS
SO MUCH EASIER.

477
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:43,942
LOOK, I TEXTED YOU
TO SAY THE SAME THING.

478
00:15:45,292 --> 00:15:46,249
YOU DID?

479
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:48,207
YEAH.

480
00:15:48,250 --> 00:15:51,124
I'M TRYING TO BE
A BETTER PERSON.

481
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:54,039
AND, IRONICALLY, YOU'RE ONE OF
THE REASONS WHY, BUT...

482
00:15:55,823 --> 00:15:58,826
A BETTER PERSON DOES NOT HOOK UP
WITH AN ENGAGED PERSON.

483
00:16:03,048 --> 00:16:04,398
SO, WHAT NOW?

484
00:16:04,441 --> 00:16:07,226
I DON'T KNOW.

485
00:16:07,269 --> 00:16:08,140
WE'RE STILL GONNA SEE
EACH OTHER.

486
00:16:08,183 --> 00:16:09,793
YOU WORK FOR, LIKE,
HALF MY FAMILY.

487
00:16:09,837 --> 00:16:11,144
[ CHUCKLES ]

488
00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:13,275
DO I REMOVE YOU
FROM MY CALLING CIRCLE?

489
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,105
I THINK THAT'S BETWEEN YOU
AND YOUR WIRELESS CARRIER.

490
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:19,716
I GUESS THAT'S THAT.

491
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,197
IT'S NOT LIKE
IT'S GOODBYE FOREVER.

492
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,024
IT'S JUST...

493
00:16:23,068 --> 00:16:25,375
WHEN WE RUN INTO EACH OTHER
FROM NOW ON,

494
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:28,203
WE KEEP OUR CLOTHES ON.

495
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:32,294
YES. TOTALLY.

496
00:16:35,515 --> 00:16:37,474
BUT, YOU KNOW...

497
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,040
IF THINGS WERE DIFFERENT --

498
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,869
I KNOW.

499
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:43,219
BYE, HALEY.

500
00:16:46,961 --> 00:16:47,701
[ DOOR CLOSES ]

501
00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:48,702
BYE.

502
00:16:48,745 --> 00:16:50,312
Claire: SO, THAT'S IT?
IT'S OVER?

503
00:16:50,356 --> 00:16:51,923
I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE JUST LEFT LIKE THAT.

504
00:16:51,966 --> 00:16:54,274
GREAT.
NOW WHAT?

505
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:55,274
I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE ALL THINKING,

506
00:16:55,317 --> 00:16:58,321
AND, YES, I WILL TAKE OVER
AS GROUP LEADER.

507
00:16:58,365 --> 00:16:59,192
NO ONE'S THINKING THAT.

508
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:01,280
I'M THE ONLY ONE
WITH IMPROV EXPERIENCE.

509
00:17:01,323 --> 00:17:02,629
OH, REALLY?

510
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:05,327
OR WAS I THE ONLY WHITE MEMBER
OF HA HA BLACKSHEEP?

511
00:17:05,372 --> 00:17:06,981
I SEEM TO REMEMBER
BRINGING DOWN THE HIZOUSE

512
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,766
WITH SUCH CLASSIC CHARACTERS
AS A SCARED TOURIST,

513
00:17:08,809 --> 00:17:10,289
QUARTERBACK,
AND BRYANT GUMBEL.

514
00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:12,161
I'LL TAG YOU IN IF I NEED YOU.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE.

515
00:17:12,204 --> 00:17:15,337
THIS FIRST EXERCISE IS CALLED
ENTRANCES AND EXITS.

516
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:16,209
LET ME GO FIRST.

517
00:17:16,251 --> 00:17:18,253
I'M LEAVING TO WATCH
THE FOOTBALL GAME.

518
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:19,777
NO, SEÑOR!JAY, NO.

519
00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:21,213
OH, DEAR GOD!

520
00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:23,215
THE ONLY REASON
WE STIRRED ALL THIS UP

521
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:24,259
IS 'CAUSE MRS. MAGOO HERE

522
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,740
THOUGHT SHE WAS BIDDING
ON A HOME ORGANIZER.

523
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:29,439
I KNEW
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING!

524
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,659
I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING.

525
00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:35,096
I JUST NEEDED A NEW WAY TO
GET YOU TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS

526
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,969
AND TO ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE
TO EXPRESS THEIRS.

527
00:17:38,012 --> 00:17:39,318
I NEED YOU TO BE FINE

528
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:42,104
WITH MANNY DANCING AROUND
THE LIVING ROOM WHEN HE'S HAPPY

529
00:17:42,147 --> 00:17:44,324
AND JOE CRYING
WHEN HE'S SAD.

530
00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:46,934
YOU DON'T SEE THE DOWNSIDE
TO ALL THIS?
NO.

531
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:48,197
MITCHELL, YOU WANT
TO WEIGH IN HERE?

532
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,460
[ GROANS ]WE'RE ALL RELIVING IT.

533
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:51,895
HOW ABOUT YOU TWO?

534
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,682
YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT GETTING ALL
THIS STUFF OUT IN THE OPEN?

535
00:17:54,724 --> 00:17:56,291
LET ME JUST MAKE ONE THING
PERFECTLY CLEAR.

536
00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:58,772
THERE WERE TWO TENTS.

537
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:02,906
T-E-N-T-S AND T-E--
YOU'RE RIGHT.

538
00:18:02,951 --> 00:18:05,126
IT'S A HORRIBLE JOKE.
BUT IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

539
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:06,476
I TOLD YOU!

540
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,695
FOR THE RECORD,
WE ARE JUST AS GROSSED OUT

541
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:10,480
AT THE THOUGHT
OF YOU ALL HAVING SEX --

542
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:13,917
THAT'S IT! I'M OUT!
WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING?

543
00:18:13,961 --> 00:18:16,137
DANCING AROUND,
TELLING SECRETS

544
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:17,487
LIKE GIRLS
AT A SLUMBER PARTY.

545
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,142
I CAN JUST IMAGINE
MY OLD MAN WITH HIS BUDDIES

546
00:18:20,185 --> 00:18:22,971
SITTING AT THEIR LAWN CHAIRS,
LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF

547
00:18:23,013 --> 00:18:24,580
THAT I MISSED
A WHOLE DAY OF FOOTBALL

548
00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,931
'CAUSE I'M TRYING TO GET
IN TOUCH WITH MY EMOTIONS.

549
00:18:26,974 --> 00:18:31,500
THESE GUYS DIDN'T DO THAT CRAP.
THESE WERE MEN!

550
00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:33,502
HIS BEST FRIEND TOMMY RYAN

551
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,548
LOST HALF A FINGER
IN A SHEET METAL PRESS.

552
00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:38,377
WAITED UNTIL HIS SHIFT ENDED
TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL.

553
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,380
I BROKE MY COLLAR BONE
IN A FOOTBALL GAME.

554
00:18:40,423 --> 00:18:44,078
THERE WAS DAD UP IN THE STANDS
GIVING ME THE OLD "BE TOUGH."

555
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,342
SO I PLAYED TWO MORE DOWNS
BEFORE I PASSED OUT.

556
00:18:46,385 --> 00:18:49,171
MY DATE,
MARYJO KLUMSKY,

557
00:18:49,214 --> 00:18:52,173
LEFT THE SENIOR DANCE
WITH ANOTHER GUY.

558
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:53,306
BROKE MY HEART.

559
00:18:53,348 --> 00:18:56,395
2:00 A.M. AT THE KITCHEN TABLE,
MY OLD MAN'S TELLING ME,

560
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:59,398
"EAT THE SANDWICH
AND FORGET ABOUT HER."

561
00:18:59,442 --> 00:19:03,663
FEELINGS!
[ CHUCKLES ]

562
00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:05,273
I DIDN'T EVEN CRY
AT HIS FUNERAL.

563
00:19:05,317 --> 00:19:06,188
YOU BELIEVE THAT?

564
00:19:06,231 --> 00:19:08,407
THE GUY
WAS MY WHOLE WORLD.

565
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:09,886
NOT A TEAR.

566
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:13,586
EVERYBODY LOOKING AT ME LIKE --
LIKE I DIDN'T LOVE HIM.

567
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:15,588
BUT HE KNEW.

568
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:19,680
[ Voice breaking ]
HE HAD TO KNOW, RIGHT?

569
00:19:19,722 --> 00:19:21,724
OF COURSE HE DID.

570
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,773
SON OF A BITCH,
THAT FELT GOOD GETTING THAT OUT.

571
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:27,817
WOW.

572
00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:29,342
I KNOW.

573
00:19:29,384 --> 00:19:32,039
THEY JUST WON THERAPY.

574
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,346
HEY, IT'S ME.
I BROKE UP WITH REUBEN.

575
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:35,478
I KNEW HE'D BE CRUSHED,

576
00:19:35,521 --> 00:19:37,219
SO I DID IT QUICKLY
LIKE RIPPING OFF

577
00:19:37,262 --> 00:19:38,612
ONE OF HIS INCREDIBLE HULK
BAND-AIDS.

578
00:19:38,654 --> 00:19:40,308
SO, HOW ABOUT YOU?
DID YOU DO IT?

579
00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:43,790
YEP.
I SURE DID.

580
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:47,185
Jay: "WHY DO WE CHOOSE PARTNERS
SO DIFFERENT FROM OURSELVES?

581
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,405
IT'S NOT FATE OR CHANCE

582
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:53,974
OR CLICHéS LIKE 'THE HEART WANTS
WHAT THE HEART WANTS.'"

583
00:19:56,194 --> 00:19:58,719
"WE CHOOSE OUR PARTNERS
BECAUSE THEY REPRESENT

584
00:19:58,761 --> 00:20:01,634
THE UNFINISHED BUSINESS
FROM OUR CHILDHOOD."

585
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,250
PHIL.

586
00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:10,383
Phil.

587
00:20:10,425 --> 00:20:11,513
"AND WE CHOOSE THEM

588
00:20:11,557 --> 00:20:14,386
BECAUSE THEY MANIFEST
THE QUALITIES WE WISH WE HAD."

589
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,736
[ SIGHS ]

590
00:20:15,778 --> 00:20:17,390
I'M AFRAID I'M NOT FUN ENOUGH
FOR YOU.

591
00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:19,913
HUH?
YEAH.

592
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:22,046
MY SAYINGS AREN'T CUTE,
MY JOKES AREN'T FUNNY, AND --

593
00:20:22,089 --> 00:20:24,266
AND YOU'RE GONNA GET SICK OF ME
ONCE THE KIDS LEAVE

594
00:20:24,309 --> 00:20:26,486
AND YOU REALIZE
HOW TRULY CRAZY I AM.

595
00:20:26,528 --> 00:20:28,530
REALLY?
MM-HMM.

596
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:32,404
HONEY, I ALREADY KNOW
HOW CRAZY YOU ARE.

597
00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:36,365
"IN DOING SO, IN CHOOSING
SUCH A CHALLENGING PARTNER,

598
00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:39,063
AND WORKING TO GIVE THEM
WHAT THEY NEED,

599
00:20:39,106 --> 00:20:42,632
WE CHART A COURSE
FOR OUR OWN GROWTH."

600
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,416
GO TO SLEEP,
JAY-JAY.

601
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:47,070
I'm telling you,
the woman is a genius.

602
00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:50,117
♪♪

603
00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:59,300
I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE GOING TO
MY GRANDPA'S HOUSE THAT SUNDAY,

604
00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:02,086
SO I PRETENDED
TO HAVE A COLD.

605
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:04,306
WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT,
A FEW DAYS LATER...

606
00:21:04,349 --> 00:21:06,307
OH, NO.

607
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:08,919
YEP.
I GOT THE COLD.

608
00:21:08,962 --> 00:21:12,401
I THOUGHT IT WAS KARMA,
SO I HOPPED ON MY BIKE

609
00:21:12,444 --> 00:21:14,097
AND I RODE STRAIGHT
TO MY GRANDPA'S.

610
00:21:14,142 --> 00:21:17,711
I CLIMBED IN HIS LAP
AND I HUGGED HIM SO HARD.

611
00:21:17,753 --> 00:21:20,365
WE EVEN SHARED
AN ICE CREAM CONE.

612
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:22,585
IT'S A MEMORY
I'LL ALWAYS CHERISH,

613
00:21:22,628 --> 00:21:23,891
'CAUSE IN
A CRAZY COINCIDENCE,

614
00:21:23,933 --> 00:21:26,546
HE GOT A COLD, TOO,
AND WAS DEAD WITHIN A WEEK.

615
00:21:26,588 --> 00:21:29,288
[ CRYING ]